Flatbush Buzz #89 Febuary 5 2017

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Tu B’shvat: Emerging

by Karen Wolfers Rapaport

Like the trees in the depth of winter, we have the power to emerge from darkness and blossom.

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he earliest blooming trees in Israel are awakening from a long, deep, winter’s nap. The trees have spent many months in hibernation. Until now, our beloved nurturing sources of shade and breath have been absorbing water from deep beneath the ground. This Hashem’sgiven survival mechanism has sustained them up until now. But now begins a new cycle in their lives. In this moment, they will draw sustenance from their own sap in order to grow, bloom and prosper. The trees will regenerate utilizing their own resources. They will become the giving entity that they were meant to be.

They will emerge.

Does this sound familiar?

How many times have we all experienced that vulnerable space below the surface, that space that very few people can penetrate? Despite what may be manifesting above board, despite the projections, how many times has the

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outward reality been incongruent with what is bubbling beneath?

Problematic partnerships. Strained environments. Difficult ends, beginnings, and even middles. Perhaps at these times, we are dependent and need support.

We need to be sustained for we may not have the strength, endurance or will to do it ourselves. Maybe we are using outside “power sources” to maintain our equilibrium, dignity, or even our sanity.

We are in survival mode. And that is just fine sometimes.

This time of year, the trees are beginning to bud, after they have been barren for a long period of time. They have withstood and subsisted. Sometimes barely. They are now emerging.

Have you ever emerged from darkness and trauma, whole, after feeling broken? Have you been privy to a painful childhood, an abusive relationship, a destructive dance? Have you been able to blossom despite the affliction?

Did you emerge a victim or empowered, faithless or faithful, transfixed or transformed, chained or free? Perhaps a little of each.

If indeed you have answered with positive affirmations to the above questions, then you too have reason to celebrate Tu B’Shvat.

It may take time, perspective, and Hashem’s eternal compassion to even see these transitions in your life. Conversely, these transitions may be absolutely obvious, glaring and dramatic. In either case, you and I will have gone through a process of passing from one state to another. We will have moved from dependence to independence, from concealed to revealed.

From surviving in silence, underground, to living out in the visible reality. We will have emerged from that earth, from that sediment, a different kind of person.

Hopefully, a more resourceful, productive, and fertile person.

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recognizing that we are created in Hashem’s image is a first step. Maybe just knowing that He gave us the challenges, precisely so that we can develop and express our true character, can bring forth clarity. Understanding that we are an integral part of a larger picture is important.

This helps us see beyond our immediate reality towards a deeper mastery of knowledge and self.

How else do we emerge? Accepting ourselves and our situation and forgiving ourselves is paramount.

Differentiating between that which we have control over and that which we don’t is crucial. Helping others, so we can gain perspective is vital. And tapping into our inner reserves and core potential on the path to change is essential. Figuring out where we are presently and where wish to be thereafter, is key to emerging triumphantly.

The Torah states, “For a man is a tree of the field” (Deut. 20:19). As it is for the trees, so too it can be with us.

On Tu B’Shvat, we have the privilege to see a miraculous unfolding. As the trees move from a place of paucity to a place of abundance, so too can we move from being a receiver to being a giver, for we now have ourselves. We are reconnected back to our own resources.

May we always remember the sources of our survival during the barren times, and how far we have subsequently emerged on our own. And may we rejoice in Hashem’s guidance as He moves us towards the inner bounty that awaits us this New Year of the trees.

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After the women are rescued, many of them go on to establish beautiful Jewish homes.

The sweet sounds of Torah learning emanating from their children is music to Hashem’s ears. As a zechus so that all of these women find their zivug, Yad L’Achim has arranged the special Tu B’Shvat shidduch initiative.

Talmidei Chachamim, representatives of Yad L’Achim will be davening in Amuka on Friday, the day of tefillah for Tu B’Shvat. The Arizal writes that Tu B’Shvat is a great day of segulah for Shidduchim.

718-633-2340 or by visiting WWW.YADLACHIM.ORG Whether for yourself or a friend, everyone knows someone who needs a shidduch.

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Jewish Dad Saves Teen’s Life

by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller

Coach Steven Greenberg’s quick actions saved the life of a visiting player who suddenly collapsed and was unresponsive.

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he junior varsity basketball game had already begun.

Ida Crown Jewish Academy in Skokie, Illinois, was hosting Luther North College Prep, a Christian school from Chicago’s northwest side.

Suddenly, a commotion erupted on the visiting team’s bench. Luther North’s coach started yelling for help; one of the players,15-year-old Maleek Allen, had collapsed and lay motionless on ground.

Two dads from Ida Crown Jewish Academy leapt into action.

Elisha Rosenblum was in the gym selling snacks for a school fundraiser and waiting for his son to play in a varsity game later

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that night. “I heard a crash,” he recounted in an Aish.com interview.

“I looked over and saw a kid sprawled out on the floor.”

Elisha is familiar with automated external defibrillators (AED), having ensured that his synagogue acquired one of the life-saving machines. Elisha raced to get the school’s AED machine. “People told me they had never seen me run so fast.”

Meanwhile, Steven Greenberg, who was watching his son play, dialed 911 and reported an emergency. The dispatcher asked him about the patient and he ran over to the visiting team’s bench to put their coach on the phone.

When he got there, he saw the AED machine. “People were

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yelling, saying ‘stay with us,’” Greenberg explains in an Aish.com exclusive interview. “I saw the machine sitting there unused. At that point nobody was doing anything to help the child other than asking if he’s breathing and he was unresponsive.”

Greenberg had never used an AED machine before but he knew what to do. As an assistant coach on the Ida Crown Jewish Academy’s baseball team, Greenberg was required to undergo first aid training.

Opening the AED machine, he quickly found the first paddle but couldn’t locate the lead for the second. As precious seconds went by, he examined the machine and with help from the Luther North coach, he located the second lead. He placed it on the player’s chest and administered a life-saving shock that restarted his heart. Within moments, Maleek Allen took a breath.

The AED machine indicated to start CPR, and Greenberg did, following the machine’s instructions. After a few minutes, an EMT and ambulance crew showed up and Greenberg returned to the stands, trying to answer other parents’ questions about what was happening. “I received a text from the EMT in the ambulance Maleek saying he was responsive, and if it wasn’t for the coach who performed CPR he wouldn’t have made it…. I had a moment to myself and broke down.”

“We’re very appreciative,” Maleek’s father Corey Miggins told reporters after his son’s collapse and surgery.

“We’re very grateful and we just thank G-d that we have Maleek here.” Doctors

I received a text from the EMT in the ambulance Maleek saying he was responsive, and if it wasn’t for the coach who performed CPR he wouldn’t have made it

discovered that Maleek has a serious condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.

Greenberg drove to the local hospital where Maleek Allen was taken and stayed until he was transferred to a larger medical center later that night.

The next day Greenberg’s heroic role in saving Maleek Allen went viral.

“I don’t know why it’s resonated so much,” Greenberg reflects. “I don’t look at it as being hero. I look at it as something everyone would want to do.”

Greenberg feels that his story resonates with people looking for some good news in the world. “I think that with all the bad stuff going on right now, whether it’s shootings in Chicago or situations in our country with hatred and violence, I think people are very much looking for good news.”

Ida Crown Jewish Academy dedicated a “Day of Learning” to encourage Torah learning and good deeds in the merit of Maleek Allen’s complete recovery, and to thank Steven Greenberg.

The incident has reinforced Greenberg’s view that nothing in life is random. Elisha Rosenblum, who raced to get the AED, concurs. Noting that many things went right that fateful night in the gym, he realizes “G-d was watching over that kid.”

“G-d put me in that situation, and put Maleek in that situation so that something could be learned from it,” Greenberg explains. “So much is out of our control. It’s up to each of us to choose how we respond to the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We have a responsibility to save lives.”

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Ari: Now a Healthy, Mischievous Pre-schooler

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here she sat blowing bubbles for her pre-schooler. Together with several neighborhood children, he ran after them on his chubby legs reaching out to touch the effervescent, multi-hued balls of magic, then watching, mesmerized, as they mysteriously made their way, flying up, up, up to never-neverland.

Young children are fascinated by bubbles. Yet certainly no child would want to live in one. As her tiny son ran on the grass with his little friends, she offered up a fervent t’filla of gratitude. Up until recently, her son was called the Bubble Baby. He was forced to live in a virtual ‘bubble’, a completely sterile environment, to save his young life.

Ari* was born with SCID, a severe immunodeficiency syndrome. It was essential that Ari not be exposed to normal day-to-day bacteria, allowing him almost no contact with others including family members. A simple cold can be fatal. The soothing hug that only a Mommy could give, the delight of swooping down the slide at the local playground – all this was unknown to Ari.

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His world consisted of only hospitals, doctors and scary needles. His future? Babies like Ari born with this rare genetic disorder usually do not survive their early years due to severe, recurrent infections.

“A bone marrow transplant could save his life,” his doctor announced at one of the numerous medical meetings.

“Give it to him! As soon as possible!” his parents jumped from their seats, grabbing hold of the lifeline that was offered to them.

“I wish it were that simple,” the doctor continued.

“You see, to be successful, the cells have to come from a donor whose DNA matches Ari’s. Bone marrow transplants are used for many diseases including leukemia and many other forms of cancer and they literally save lives. But nothing can be done until we find a genetic match and so far…there is none. We’ve put in a request to Ezer Mizion. They are the largest Jewish registry and since you are Jewish and genetics is based on ethnicity, we hope a match will be found there. They have over 830,000 people registered. Pray that we find the perfect one.”

Ari’s parents didn’t have to be told twice to daven. Their tehillim did not leave their side. They understood that a match could mean a normal life for their son and no match? No match would mean…

One day their phone rang. The ring sounded like every other ring. But the voice on the other end – it was ecstatic. It was euphoric. And it said the words they had been davening for. “We found a match!!!”

A young woman in her early twenties had registered at Ezer Mizion’s International Bone Marrow Registry together with her friends, never thinking that she would ever actually be called. She had heard how many lives Ezer Mizion has saved.

Over two thousand. But she also knew of many people who were still waiting for that life-saving match. And many people for whom it was already too late. And so she and her friends spent ten minutes answering routine questions. Ten minutes that would later save a little child’s life. And his children’s lives. And their children’s lives. Eternity.

The former ‘Bubble Baby’ chased another bubble and nearly caught it in his pudgy hands.

His sweet, little face mirrored his utter joy.

“Thank you, Hashem! Thank you,” his mother whispered.

What if there had been no Ezer Mizion?

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Exercising My Spiritual and Physical Muscles

by Mindy Rubenstein

Going to the gym has become something I can’t go without.

Surprisingly, so has deepening my spiritual connection.

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wo things have become major parts of my life recently: exercise and emunah, (roughly translated as faith).

And, as it turns out, both work in similar ways: One strengthens your physical muscles; the other your spiritual muscles.

The best way to improve emunah, or any skill, is repetition. In fact, an artist is called in Hebrew an uman because she has practiced her craft repeatedly until it becomes natural.

In the same way, emunah grows deeper as you accustom yourself to see all the wonders of life as manifestations of Hashem’s presence. And emunah is further enriched when we are challenged

34

and pass those tests by staying positive.

Around the same time I started running and going to the gym – to the point where it has become something I can’t go without – I also happened to begin reading a book called Living Emunah by Rabbi David Ashear, a renowned teacher and speaker.

Each week my learning partner and I go through the book, taking turns reading the sections aloud. The concepts seem simple, but their impact, I can say confidently, are life-changing.

Everything that happens to us in this world is orchestrated from above, from stubbing our toe to being snubbed by a friend. We don’t always know why something is happening, but if we

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make an effort to thank Hashem even when something seems unfortunate, we strengthen our emunah and connection.

It’s no simple task: You must make a paradigm shift in your mind to revolutionize your thinking process. But little by little, day by day, the transformation from “victim of circumstance” to “master of emunah” can happen.

As parents, we can train our children from a young age to live with emunah, to know how much Hashem loves them and controls everything that happens in their lives. We should model this behavior for them, remaining positive and upbeat despite challenges.

The book says that as long as we are being grateful, Hashem will bless us. As

though our gratitude actually opens up the channel for blessings that may not have already been there.

Our belief does not create good; the good is already the underlying reality. Our belief provides the means by which that reality can surface.

It reminds me of the famous hasidic saying, “Think good, and it will be good.”

And it’s not just our thoughts; it’s also our words and actions. Think, speak and do good, and goodness will

As parents, we can train our children from a young age to live with emunah, to know how much Hashem loves them and controls everything

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come our way.

I haven’t quite mastered these skills, this paradigm shift in my thinking and being. But I’m more aware of it, especially in front of my children.

And especially when I hear them complain about something and I realize they may have learned that kind of attitude from me. That can be painful, and I try to find something positive to say in response.

We can always find ways to express gratitude throughout the day – somewhat obvious blessings in life we may take for granted, as well as the seemingly negative things as they happen. This one is more challenging – thanking Hashem after something seemingly inconvenient or painful occurs.

Positivity is infectious. It seems easier to be positive and upbeat when you’re around others who are that way.

But the strength needed for emunah is within. Be the positive person you admire, and spark that good attitude in others.

It’s a work in progress, but like any good exercise program, over time the results are unmistakable.

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A Woman’s Hard Choice

by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller

Brenda Barnes, the first female CEO of PepsiCo who ignited a firestorm by resigning to spend more time with her family, died last week.

T

wenty years ago, Brenda Barnes, who died recently, ignited a firestorm of public debate with her decision to step down as CEO of PepsiCo’s $7.7 billion North American division. She said at the time, “Every time you would miss a child’s birthday, or a school concert or a parent-teacher discussion, you’d feel the tug.”

The year was 1997, Ms. Barnes was 43 years old, and her children were seven, eight and ten years old. As a high-level executive, Ms. Barnes was missing many of the milestones that marked her kids’ days. She often set her alarm clock for 3:30 AM so she could get in a few hours of work before taking her kids to school. Then she’d work late into the night many days. “You wished you were there… but due to the accountability and responsibility to your work, you could not be there,” she explained at the time.

Ms. Barnes’ very public decision stoked simmering debates about women’s roles in the workplace, with some hailing her decision to put her family first, and others complaining her decision might harm the way female executives were seen. On the Today Show, Katie Couric acknowledged, “Obviously we’re all torn” between work and family, but feared that Ms. Barnes’ decision would make it harder for women to be taken seriously.

“On the other hand, some working women are saying, ‘Thanks a lot, Brenda…’”

44

The Barnes family moved from Connecticut to suburban Chicago, where Brenda grew up. Ms. Barnes didn’t stop working entirely; she served on a number of committees, and in 2004, once her children were in high school, re-entered corporate America, this time as CEO of Sarah Lee. But for several crucial years Ms. Barnes was able to be there for her kids when they needed her most.

“She really was just the perfect mom,” said her daughter Erin Barnes. “Family is what she lived for.”

When Brenda suffered a debilitating stroke in 2010, her daughter Erin had just graduated from college and was about to start a corporate job of her own. Having learned from her mom the importance of putting family first, Erin quit her new job within a few weeks, moved home for a year and devoted herself to helping her mother recover. “My mom left Pepsi when I was nine to be home with us,” Erin explained. “Now my mom needed me.

It was an easy decision to make.”

Not everyone has the financial means to quit work in order to devote ourselves full-time to family. But we each are faced with the choice every day whether to prioritize family, whether to make an extra effort to carve out more time to focus on what is truly important in our lives.

Back when Brenda Barnes first made her headline-grabbing

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decision, most of my friends and I were embarking on our careers and were excited to focus on work above all. But over a few years things had changed dramatically for many of us. Some of my friends left work entirely for a time; others made compromises that allowed them to spend more time with their families.

An old friend from graduate school who had a high-level government job and was frequently in the news turned down a promotion. “I’m so busy, and all I really want to do is go home in time to see my kids before they go to bed.” She wanted to spend more time with her young sons.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I worked in a high-pressure job that I loved. Stimulating and exciting, it also demanded frequent evenings and weekends spent in the office. I expected to take a few weeks off for maternity leave and then return to work. As an educated, ambitious woman, I couldn’t imagine anything else. Then I gave birth to my son.

As soon as I picked him up and held him close, all my certainties about combining work and family life melted away. The office I’d so loved suddenly seemed like a distraction from this profound new focus of my life.

After weeks of calculating, my husband and I decided I’d stay home for a while with our new baby and, later, our other young children. I couldn’t imagine anything more important to do with my time. Occasionally, I wonder where I’d be professionally if I never scaled back and how our financial situation would have been much easier.

But our family has been enriched in

She really was just the perfect mom,” said her daughter Erin Barnes.

“Family is what she lived for other, less quantifiable ways instead. It’s hard to assign a dollar value to watching school presentations and playing board games all afternoon with your kids. But looking back, these moments are some of the most precious times we’ve spent together as a family.

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Celebrate

Tu-Bishvat with Fruit Desserts Gitta Bixenspanner n.d.

Tu Bishvat comes once a year, quietly with no major fanfare and before we know it is gone. Yet we want to honor the day with something special. The fruits of Eretz Yisroel certainly take center stage at the table. The Seven Species are seven agricultural products - two grains and five fruits which are listed in the Hebrew Bible as being special products of the Land of Israel.

blessings and properties of each fruit.

To commemorate the day which augurs spring in Israel and gives us hope for new beginnings and the renewal of nature ( at least in Israel) we are always searching for some fruity desserts to serve on that day along with the array of new and regular fruits.

Here are some suggestions for lovely desserts something for everyone and every taste.

The seven species listed Wheat, Barley, Grapes These desserts are certainly not exclusive for Tu (wine), Figs, Pomegranates, Olives(oil), and Dates Bishvat feel free to make them a part of your dessert (honey) (Deuteronomy 8:8) In some homes a whole repertoire any time of the year.

Seder is conducted with special mention of the

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Tu Bishvat Fruit Platter To enhance your table prepare any of these fruit platters using as many fruits available in your area.

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A very simple and tasty side dish for any meat or chicken dish. Easy, fast and very tasty, it can certainly serve as dessert as well. Apples are available year around. Feel free to use any type of apple such as Golden delicious mixed with Granny Smith apples. I enjoyed the Ida Red apples I found in my grocery for its size and crunchiness.

The apples should keep their shape and not turn to apple sauce.

Ingredients 2 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and cut into wedges 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and cut into wedges 1/3 cup brown sugar or maple syrup 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1/4 tsp nutmeg (optional) 1/2 cup pomegranate arils Directions In a large skillet over medium-low heat, combine all ingredients leaving not the pomegranates; cook 20 minutes or until fork-tender, stirring occasionally. Apples will thicken a bit and release plenty of liquid.

Serve as a side dish or dessert.

Decorate with pomegranate arils Note Preparation 20 minutes Serves 6

Warm Apple Slices

with Fresh Pomegranates 50

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Moist and Delicious Fruit Cake Celebrating Tu Bishvat? Dazzle your guest with this delicious fruit cake that is moist and delicious. The list of ingredients is long but feel free to insert the fruits available in your area and omit some, once you get your ingredients together the rest is simple.

Ingredients 1 cup each of finely chopped pecans and walnuts1 cup of raisins 1/2 cup of dried chopped apricots 1/2 cup of dried chopped apples 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 cup softened transfat free margarine 2 cups of sugar 2 eggs, beaten 2 cups of applesauce 2 tsp of vanilla or rum extract 2 tsp baking soda 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp ground cloves

1 tsp ground allspice 1 1/2 cups of flour 1 tsp of salt Directions In a bowl, cream together 1 cup softened transfat free margarine with 2 cups of sugar, then beat in 2 eggs, 2 cups of applesauce and 2 teaspoons of vanilla or rum extract. In another bowl, mix 2 teaspoons of baking soda, 2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon, 1 teaspoon of ground nutmeg, 1 teaspoon of ground cloves and 1 teaspoon of ground allspice into 1 1/2 cups of flour, and season with 1 teaspoon of salt. Stir the flour mixture into the butter and sugar mixture, then fold in the fruit mixture. Pour the batter into a Bundt pan, and bake it at 325 degrees Fahrenheit for 60 to 65 minutes. Cool the cake for at least 10 minutes before turning it over on a wire rack to finish cooling.

Decorate with fruits of the seven species for a nice touch.

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Cherry Nut Cobbler Any more amazing way to finish a nice meal than serving this delightful cherry nut cobbler? It’s easy to Directions prepare and watch the children run back to the table Topping In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, when they hear that dessert is being served. salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the liquid ingredients (water, eggs and oil); mix until Ingredients smooth. Reserve.

2 (21-ounce) cans cherry pie filling 1/2 cup chopped walnuts Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Coat a 9 inch square glass baking dish with cooking spray.

1/2 cup sugar plus 2 tsp for sprinkling In a large bowl, combine cherry pie filling, walnuts, 1 Tbs orange zest the 1/2 cup sugar, and orange zest; mix well. Pour into prepared baking dish; set aside.

Topping Ingredients Pour reserved topping mixture over cherries. Evenly 1 cup all purpose flour sprinkle remaining sugar over top. Bake uncovered 30 3 1/2 tsp baking powder to 35 minutes, or until crust is golden.

1 tsp salt 1Tbs sugar Preparation 20 minutes 1 cup water or Rice Dream Serves 10 1 egg 3 Tbs oil

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Stuffed and Spiked Cantaloupe Wedges Ingredients 2 cantaloupes, quartered and seeded 1 container frozen strawberries 1 oz. fruit liquor 2 bananas, peeled and sliced 2 kiwis, peeled and sliced 2 Tbs sliced or slivered almonds

Blend frozen strawberries in a food processor adding the liquor.

In a large bowl, chop all fruits, and top with blended strawberries Place each cantaloupe quarter on a serving plate.

Spoon equal amounts of fruit mixture over each and top with sliced almonds. Serve immediately.

Directions Preparation 20 minutes In a skillet toast almonds for 10 minutes on medium Serves 8 low flame mixing constantly until aromatic and toasted. Set aside.

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Ice Cream Stuffed Oranges with Caramel Sauce This dessert is served in a most original presentation. enjoy as a snack. Set the hollowed-out orange shells, Sometimes presentation is more exciting than exotic and their caps in the refrigerator to chill. Spoon 1 cups recipes. Dig in and surprise your guest with this dessert. softened vanilla ice cream, into orange halves. Drizzle 2 tablespoons store bought caramel.

Ingredients Note: Once stuffed, you may refreeze oranges until 2 oranges ready to serve. Top with caramel sauce just before 2 cups vanilla ice cream, softened slightly serving. Caramel sauce may also be warmed in the 4 Tbs caramel sauce microwave!

Add crunch garnish such as granola, and/or crushed health bar topping.

Directions Cut off a slice, 2 inches from the stem end, of each orange. Using a grapefruit spoon, scoop out the pulp Preparation 20 minutes from the oranges, leaving the rinds intact to form Serves 4 shells. Reserve the orange segments to garnish or

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