Flatbush Buzz Sunday, November, 25 2013

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Sunday, November, Novem 24 2013

Volume 1, Issue 9

Bi -Weekly

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YESHIVAS RUACH CHAIM

RECOGNIZES

that each child is unique and has unlimited potential, which necessitates personalized attention. To that end we offer a warm, caring and creative preschool program, under the directorship of our new addition, Morah Rachel Krieser.

Mrs. Krieser’s commitment and amazing performance are very impressive and have surpassed our expectations. You, as parents, can be assured that your Yingle will have every opportunity to grow and develop in all areas and succeed in a happy and loving environment.

Our Nurs y & K rg t O s: Spacious classrooms Fenced - in playground A large indoor gym Private transportation Hot lunches Parsha middos programs

REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN IN FULL SWING To learn more about the Yeshivas Ruach Chaim Nursery & Kindergarten, please call the oďŹƒce at 718-646-8500 for an appointment to meet with Morah Rachel and to see our facilities.

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hi Everyone, A freilichen Chanukah! Along with your latkes and donuts, you’re sure to enjoy this week’s edition of The Buzz Magazine, Brooklyn’s only frum publication delivered door to door! In honor

Publisher & CEO:

Yossi Friedman

Editor-in-Chief:

Sarah Gold

Art Director: Photography:

Efraim Schnall

Shlomo Meyer , Istock, Shutter Stock, Big Stock

Rabbinic Advisor:

R. Lazer Zuckerman

Advertising Executive

Mindy Weiss

of Yom Tov, we’re treating our readers to a whole plethora of fun and entertaining articles. Our Cholent Pot features an eclectic mix of thoughts and opinions, while our News section delivers the latest on current events. We’ve also brought you a few new topics IRU GLVFXVVLRQ LQFOXGLQJ ´%DVKHUW RU %HFKLUDÂľ DQG ´6DFULĂ€FLQJ Pleasure for Religion.â€? Laugh out loud at our humorous writings entitled “Are We Matching Yetâ€? and “15 Tips on Raising a Baby.â€? Along with an insightful Torah article about gratefulness and three

Mailing: NY Buzz Magazine P.O. Box# 190811, Brooklyn, NY 11219

delicious recipes, we also present a beautiful lesson in hasgacha in our miraculous Chanukah story, “Footing the Bill.� So light the menorah, spin the dreidel, and thumb through this awesome issue of The Buzz!

To Advertise Call: (718) 513-9885 (718) 435-3918

Sarah Gold

nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com nybuzzads@gmail.com www.nybuzzmagazine.com @nybuzzmagazine

2013 Flatbush Buzz. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the Buzz Magazine. All readers are invited to send their opinions by letter to the editor. The advertiser agrees to hold harmless the publisher for publication of submitted copy. Buzz Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors. We reserve the right to refuse advertising or editorial copy that we feel does not ďŹ t our policy. Advertising claims or kashrus of any product or establishment are not the responsibility of the Buzz Magazine. The opinions of each writer do not reect those of the publisher. The Buzz Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions.

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the

cholent pot!

[Response to the Frustrated Dater:]

Dear Stuck, First of all, kudos to you for reaching out. Yes, indeed the dating process can be daunting to say the least. You mention that you have a reasonable resume, which is great. However, at the same time, you’re wondering why nothing has happened yet. The truth is that, as with all decisions in life, particularly a mammoth, life altering decision such as a shidduch, we do engage in both a conscious and unconscious decision making process. Some decisions we are aware of, and some we are not so aware of. You do seem to have an awareness of some possible attitude perspective which is admirable, but not necessarily accurate. For many people, dating may require a fundamental understanding of themselves, the value system they subscribe to, and their innermost emotional needs before they are actually able to commit. This is often best achieved through open and honest discussion with someone you feel most comfortable with. I would suggest that you perhaps avail yourself to the help of either a licensed psychotherapist or an experienced dating coach. Hatzlocha Rabboh! Rifka Weber, LCSW [Response to the Frustrated Dater: ]

Dear Stuck, Take heart. You are not “stuck.â€? As long as you put your trust in Hashem and in nothing and no RQH HOVH \RX ZLOO HYHQWXDOO\ Ă€QG \RXU EDVKHUW *HW D FRS\ RI WKH ERRN ´*DUGHQ RI (PXQDÂľ E\ 5DEEL Shalom Arush and follow his advice. Concentrate your efforts in teshuva, prayer, and charitable deeds according to his guidelines. The more you pray, the better - even in your own language. Many people have seen yeshuos by doing what is advised in this ERRN EHFDXVH WKH SRZHU RI HPXQD DQG WHĂ€OD LV VR great it saves a person from sadness and despair. May Hashem guide you on the right path and answer your

6

prayers speedily. Received via email Dear Editor, As always, my parents have once again invited PH P\ KXVEDQG DQG Ă€YH NLGV WR MRLQ WKHLU DQQXDO Chanukah party. I know I’m going to sound like a real stick-in-the-mud for saying this, but I’m just QRW ORRNLQJ IRUZDUG WR LW DW DOO )LUVW RI DOO , Ă€QG the expense ridiculous. Every family that comes has to bring (admittedly small) presents for the cousins. This on top of the gift we siblings all chip in for, to give my parents. And then I have to give Chanukah gelt to my own kids, my kids’ teachers, bus drivers and lunch monitors. All told, Chanukah winds up costing me a fortune! And aside from the money issue, I just don’t enjoy the noise, the mess, and the complete rowdiness that ensues when our entire extended family gets together under one roof. We siblings wind up bickering, our husbands walk around looking bored, and our kids get wild from all the sugar. For me, it’s just tiresome. I don’t know why I’m venting my feelings in this public forum, but I was just wondering if there are any other readers out there who feel the same way. Personally, I’d much prefer a quiet eight nights with my family gathered around the Chanukah lecht, instead of all this partying until we plotz. +HQQ\ * Dear Editor, What’s with all the Chanukah gifts? Your magazine is full of advertisements for stores selling Chanukah presents. Since when do Yiddishe families give gifts for Chanukah? As far as I know, our tradition was always to give ‘gelt!’ I kinda think all this present giving smells a little too much like tinsel and ornaments, if you know what I mean. Anyone agree with me? Y.N.

To send your comments to “the Cholent pot� please email: nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com

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LET’S DISCUSS IT

BASHERT OR

?

BECHIRA

S

am, a devoted believer in Predestination (Bashert), never made an important choice in his life. After all, he believed that everything was predetermined in Shamayim for him. When he died and got to Shamayim, LQVWHDG RI WKH *DQ (GHQ KH H[SHFWHG he encountered a fork in the road, with a street sign pointing down each path. One sign said Believers in Predestination, and the other said Believers in Free Will. Sam, in line with his views, had always believed in things being bashert, so he went down that road. He eventually came to a big door with the word “Bashert� written over the top. He knocked, and a malach opened the door and said, “Why have you come to my door today?� Sam said, “Well, there were these two signs, and I chose the one that said Bashert.� The malach said, “You chose it?! You cannot choose! If you made a choice, then you cannot come in here, you obviously believe in free will! Take the other path!� And he slammed the door. Sam was confused. After a few minutes thinking about the situation, he trudged back to the crossroads and went down the other road. He eventually came to another large door that said “Bechira.� He knocked and another malach opened the door and said, “Why did you come this way?� And Sam said, “I had no choice!� The joke may be comical, but Sam isn’t the only one who struggles with

the interplay between Predestination and Free Will. One strong argument given in the Talmud on the question of whether the outcome of our lives is determined from the very beginning, is in the story of Eleazar ben Pedat. Eleazar ben Pedat lives in strained circumstances. He is poor and his family is struggling without enough food. He questions Hashem, asking, “How long will I have to suffer in poverty?â€? He receives an answer in a dream in which Hashem says, “My son, would you have Me overthrow the world?â€? (Ta’an. 25a) Hashem’s response indicates that the entire direction of the world would have to be changed in order to change Eleazar’s situation. The course of Eleazar’s life has been set. It is intricately interwoven with the lives of others both in the present and in the past. To make changes, Hashem would have to go back to the very beginning and change all that had happened up to that point. While Eleazar ben Pedat doesn’t get Hashem to change the plan, he might take comfort in knowing that there is indeed a master plan. When life doesn’t make sense to us, we’d all like to think there is meaning in our suffering or that someone is looking out for us. There are certainly those who appreciate this view. They are comforted when someone says, it ZDV DOO * G¡V SODQ +HUH WKHUH LV QR uncertainty. Hashem knows what is

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going to happen and we are bolstered by the fact that Hashem, who is all knowing and all powerful, has an eye on how things are playing out. It is His plan and we can’t change it. But what kind of relationship with Hashem does this give us? Do we really want to be merely robots, receiving a command and doing what we are told? On the other hand, do you think it would be better if everything was in our control, with nothing ‘Bashert’ in the picture? Would we leave a room full of toddlers alone WR SOD\ DV WKH\ VHH Ă€W" :KDW NLQG of room would that create? Left to our own designs the world similarly devolves and I don’t think we want to go in that direction either. 7KH *HPDUD VWDWHV WKDW RQH PD\ not testify that a man died merely because the witness saw the man being thrown to lions. After all, says WKH *HPDUD OLRQV VRPHWLPHV DWWDFN and eat and sometimes do not. Does this mean that lions have free will? asks R’ Shach. No, they do not! The reason that lions sometimes attack and eat and sometimes do not is because they are “programmedâ€? to eat only when they are hungry. When they are not hungry, they don’t attack. But isn’t this true of man, as well? Doesn’t man, too, sin only because he feels a need to? The answer to all of these questions is that man’s free will is unique. Our Sages teach, ´(YHU\WKLQJ LV LQ * G¡V KDQGV H[FHSW

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LET’S DISCUSS IT PDQ¡V IHDU RI * G Âľ 'R ZH QHHG WR be told that fear of Heaven is not controlled by Hashem? It’s obvious! That fear would be worthless if it were controlled. The lesson of this *HPDUD H[SODLQV 5¡ 6KDFK LV WKDW despite the knowledge of right and

Despite the knowledge of right and wrong and the inborn traits and predilections that Hashem gave man, man still has absolute free will. wrong and the inborn traits and predilections that Hashem gave man, man still has absolute free will. Man has complete control over his actions, complete free will, and he can never give as an excuse the fact that he was born with a tendency to act a certain way. (Haggadah Shel Pesach Avi Ezri p. 102) The Mishna states, “Everything is foreseen, yet free will is given. The world is judged with goodness, and all is according to the majority of deeds.� So, how can we truly have free will if Hashem already knows which path we will choose? According to Maimonides (Mishne Torah Hil’ Teshuva Ch. 5), the concept of free will is one of the great philosophical pillars of Judaism. The entire

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concept of reward and punishment -that Hashem rewards us for our good deeds and punishes us for our wicked -- is predicated upon the assumption that our actions are under our own control. Hashem does not force us to do good or evil. He provided us with the Torah and mitzvos to incline us towards goodness, and He planted within us the temptation to sin and rebel. But He does not force us -- neither by revealing Himself too openly nor by punishing us too severely or immediately. For actions performed without free will and the temptation to sin are empty of meaning. And empty actions deserve no reward. And if there is no reward, there is no reason for existence. Unlike the belief of the fools of the nations and many unlearned Jews WKDW * G RU RWKHU KHDYHQO\ IRUFHV VXFK as the constellations predetermine whether a person will be righteous or wicked, our fates are entirely in our own hands. Every person can be as righteous as Moshe or as wicked as Yerovom. We therefore bear full responsibility for our decisions and actions, and we are rewarded and punished in kind. If predestination determined our futures, Hashem could not hold us responsible for our actions. We would be no different from actors following scripts written for us and over which we had no control. And further, it would have been meaningless for Hashem to command us in the Torah how we should behave, since we would have no control over it anyway. The Rambam himself asserts elsewhere that each person has QDWXUDO LQFOLQDWLRQV ZKLFK LQĂ XHQFH his behavior, and likewise family, friends and neighbors exert a SRZHUIXO LQĂ XHQFH $QG FHUWDLQO\ when we are judged, such mitigating factors are taken into account. But ultimately, we and only we must stand trial for our deeds and own up to our mistakes.

But it does not seem so simple. Our tradition makes it clear that Hashem controls the direction of history as well as the events of our lives. The Talmud writes: “Everything is caused by Heaven except for catching coldâ€? (Kesuvos 30a). The statement sounds Ă LSSDQW EXW WKH LQWHQWLRQ LV UHDOO\ quite clear. Virtually everything that happens to us is decreed in Heaven. The one exception is the trouble we bring upon ourselves through our own negligence. If we go out in the winter without a coat and catch cold, that was not a Heavenlyordained punishment to atone for our transgressions, but our own stupidity. So, does “Everything is caused by Heavenâ€? extend to what other people do to us? If another person -- who has his own free will -- decides to harm me, is Hashem behind that? On the one hand, free will should dictate that that person has the ability to act as he pleases even if it adversely affects me. But if so, Hashem would seem to wield very little control over this world. Violence, domestic abuse, terrorist attacks, the Holocaust -most of the evils of this world have been brought to us courtesy of man. Does free will imply that man acts independently of Hashem’s will and control, bringing about evils He did not decree? Let’s say Joe wakes up one day and decides to kill Bob. Joe takes his gun, walks up to Bob and shoots him dead. Joe exercised his free will. A man who may have otherwise lived another 50 years has just died. Where was Hashem? If we believe that everything that occurs in this world is a part of Hashem’s plan, does this imply Bob would have had a heart attack and died just then anyway? And again, if not, did Joe’s free will just defy Hashem’s plan? The premise of practically all traditional Jewish thinkers is that nothing in this world occurs outside

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RI * G¡V SXUYLHZ +DVKHP GRHV QRW direct the evil man perpetrates on his fellow -- that is man’s doing and his responsibility -- and for it he alone will be held accountable. Yet Hashem would not have allowed it to be successful if it were against His wishes. Thus, if Hashem wants Bob alive, Joe will not be able to kill him. How so? Hashem will see to it that Joe’s plans are not successful. The gun ZLOO QRW Ă€UH %RE ZLOO PLVV KLV EXV

Joe will oversleep etc. Hashem has an LQĂ€QLWH QXPEHU RI QDWXUDO PHDQV DW His disposal to control the outcome of events. In the most extreme case -- if all natural means fail --Hashem may even perform an open miracle to save the victim. A number of years ago I read the story of a great Rabbi who was Ă HHLQJ D PXJJHU 7KH DVVDLODQW VKRW him point-blank from a few feet away. The Rabbi kept running, only

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to discover later that the bullet had lodged itself in his coat and went no further. He insisted on wearing that same coat with the bullet hole for years after, long after it wore out, as a reminder of the great kindness Hashem had performed for him. Let’s say, however, Joe does kill Bob. This means that Hashem acquiesced to the murder. Hashem must have determined that on some level Bob “deservedâ€? to die. And this of course raises two important questions. First, can we really say every innocent bystander, every child who dies violently, deserved his or her fate? Second, if Joe kills Bob, it certainly seems that he snuffed out a life which would have continued for many more years. Are we forced to say the victim would have died just then anyway? And if not, hasn’t Joe just changed the course of Hashem’s world -- killing someone who would otherwise have continued living? Did Bob really deserve to die? On one level we must say yes. There are a number of approaches to this issue, each valid in its own context. Yet here I feel we must accept that Hashem’s justice is not something truly understandable to man. Why every unfortunate victim “deservedâ€? it is clearly beyond our ability to discern. One answer is that Hashem’s justice is exceedingly strict. We all carry some degree of guilt, and Hashem alone knows the proper compensation for each wicked deed. Even the most worthy among us might well have brought upon himself VXIĂ€FLHQW JXLOW WR EH GHVHUYLQJ RI death. Second, it’s possible the individual did not deserve death himself, but suffered as an atonement for his generation. (I realize people view this as a Christian concept, but it is actually quite Jewish. See for example Ezekiel 4 and Talmud Sanhedrin 39a). Third, the concept of reincarnation -- though barely hinted in the Talmud -- is well-established

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in Kabbalistic sources. Perhaps even a child deserved death as atonement for sins of a past life. Fourth, the Chachomim state that Hashem may take away small children from this world as a punishment to the parents (see Rashi to Deuteronomy 24:16). Finally, there are times in which Hashem chooses not to save a victim from his assailant via natural means. And performing an open miracle is not viable because it would reveal Hashem’s Presence too openly in this world -- something man is hardly prepared for. Thus, to preserve Hashem’s concealment, He at times must allow unfortunate victims to perish. There is supposedly a special place reserved in the World to Come IRU LQQRFHQWV ZKR DUH VDFULÀFHG for such. The bottom line is this: Just

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as man cannot comprehend Hashem’s essence, he cannot comprehend Hashem’s knowledge. Therefore, although it is beyond our understanding how Hashem can be aware of an indeterminate future, His awareness is as removed from our universe as Hashem Himself and thus in no way impacts on the reality of our free will. Thus, our futures truly are our own to GHFLGH :H ZKR DUH FRQÀQHG within the imaginary worlds of time and space are simply incapable of truly comprehending Hashem, much as we are incapable of comprehending what is beyond the “end” of the universe, or what existed “before” the world was created. So while Hashem in Shamayim has Predestination, we in this world have Free Will.

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LET’S DISCUSS IT

?

SACRIFICING PLEASURE

FOR RELIGION

T

here’s a widespread misunderstanding about why people are religious. It runs something like this. Okay. I’m SUHSDUHG WR VDFULÀFH VRPHWKLQJ RI my pleasure in this world so that I can get a piece of the action in the next. I don’t mind refraining from the occasional BLT or McDonalds, because I believe the Big Macs are bigger on the ‘other side’. Even those of us who like to think of ourselves as religious, if questioned, may subscribe to this line of thinking. Nothing could be further from

A person should feel that he is giving nothing up of this world because this world has nothing to give him.

the truth. A person should feel that he is giving nothing up of this world because this world has nothing to give him. Let me give you an example: 7XHVGD\ PRUQLQJ <RX ÀQDOO\ get the call. You’ve waited for two full months. And now it’s here. Your champagne-metallic luxury turbodeisel 4x4 has arrived at the car dealer. Your heartbeat leaps to 120 beats a minute. Your mouth dries up. You jump into the nearest taxi and sit there lost in the glow of expectation. You arrive at the showroom. The car dealer hands you the keys. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You slide behind the wheel. The smell of leather and “new car” is more potent than the latest Paris perfume. You turn the key and the engine purrs into life. You ease the car out of the parking lot and cruise down the main drag of the city real slow. Riding a wild set of wheels at an easy pace. Phew! A couple of months later, you’ve already scratched the champagne metallic paint in more than a few places, and the front

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fender shows the battle scars of a shopping expedition to the mall. Why can’t new cars stay new? What happens to that smell of new-car? Does the factory send out a fragrance recall on it? And what happens to the feeling of new car? Why does it always turn into a gas-guzzling insuranceeating rusting heap? Nothing in this world that is solely of this world brings you real happiness. Compare this to the feeling that comes from praying, even with a little bit of concentration. Most of us, at some time or another, have had this beautiful experience. And that feeling is second only to the feeling of learning Torah that’s the most exquisite experience in the world. And it’s a genuine pleasure that stays with you. Not like this ZHHN·V QHZ SXUFKDVH WKDW ÀOOV you with pride and desire and then comes to collect from you a heavy debt, both physically and spiritually. Life’s true pleasure is to be close to Hashem. Everything else is like a pile of steel waiting to rust.

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MIRACLES

FOOTING

THE BILL

H

ere I was, minding my own business while shopping in our local kosher market, when I was literally bowled over by this child with a shopping cart. I managed to stay on my feet, but my toes were screaming for a doctor. I would have strangled the kid, but my heart melted when I saw the zeesist face with a big yarmulke and peyos looking at me in tears. I hobbled over

Our menorah had been stolen in middle of the night. Someone had smashed the glass of RXU ÀUVW à RRU window. to him and gave him a hug and told him that it was an accident and he should just smile and my toes would

feel better. I could hear my toes saying, “Yeah, easy for you to say.â€? But he did smile and then ran for his mommy. Then I noticed the child had a limp. Nebach, I thought. I hope it is only something temporary. I would say Tehilim for him. “What is your name?â€? I yelled. “Fishel,â€? he screamed back. He then disappeared. %\ WKH WLPH , Ă€QLVKHG VKRSSLQJ P\ toes had quieted down and I was on line to pay. I couldn’t help but notice that the Fishel who ran me down and his family were on my line to pay, a few customers behind me. It was easy to see that it was a large family and the shopping cart was overĂ€OOHG +HUH , ZDV MXVW P\ KXVEDQG and me, buying food for Shabbos – the kids were, boruch Hashem, all married and living all over the place. I could easily remember how hard it was to buy food for our big family every Shabbos. Juggling money from one pocket to another just to make our Shabbos and weekday meals a reality was a weekly hardship. My husband did not make a very good living and when he became disabled, my meager job did just enough to keep us above water. Hashem was always so good to us. HE always made sure we enjoyed Shabbos with our kinderlach and no one ever went hungry. ‘I owe YOU so much,’ I thought almost out loud. How can I give back? I looked at little Fishel and his

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family. After I paid my bill, I asked the owner of the store if he knew the large family in line behind me. He told me that he did. “Do they have an account here at your store?â€? “Yes, they do,â€? he answered. “Well, here is $300. Please put it towards their account – but do not tell them who it is from.â€? And so he did. I felt good. To have the zchus to help another Yiddishe family with their hardships! A few days later, it was Chanukah. My husband lit the Chanukah lecht by the front window, and a few hours later we went to sleep. The following morning, we awoke to a heartbreaking sight. Our menorah had been stolen in middle of the night. Someone had VPDVKHG WKH JODVV RI RXU Ă€UVW Ă RRU window, and had taken the menorah. We were devastated. That menorah had been beautifully decorated with ornate workmanship. It was given as a gift to my husband when he was a chosson, and it meant so much to him. ´*DP ]X O¡WRYDK Âľ P\ KXVEDQG NHSW repeating, his head shaking from side to side in distress. “I’ll have to go out and buy a new one from the silver store.â€? Buying a new menorah was an expensive proposition, as the price of silver had recently gone up. Still, with seven more nights left to Chanukah, my husband was determined to have a sterling silver menorah on which to

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light the shemen zayis. At the shop, there was one particular menorah that FDXJKW P\ KXVEDQG¡V H\H ,W ZDV WUXO\ PDJQLĂ€FHQW EXW D bit more expensive than we could afford. The bargaining battle began as both my husband and the store owner debated over a fair price. My husband came home with the menorah and the biggest smile I have ever seen. “You’re not going to believe this,â€? exclaimed my husband as I started to dry the dishes. “We were ‘hondeling’ back and forth for a price and after we were both exhausted, we were still a few hundred dollars apart. He wouldn’t budge and I simply had no more money and was about to leave when in walks this Chassidishe Yid with his son. He hears us negotiating and says, “What is the problem? I have a credit in this store for $300 dollars that I don’t really need, and I want to put it to good use. If you will use that menorah l’shem mitzvah, I will get a tremendous zchus for a refuah sheleimah for my son here.â€? “How could I say no? Together with the $300 and the money that I had, I bought the most beautiful menorah and the Chassidishe Yid bought an incredible zchus for his adorable son. Nebach, the boy had a limp.â€? Suddenly there was a crash. I had dropped a plate. “What was the boy’s name?â€? I asked in disbelief. “Fishel. Fishel ben Eliezer,â€? answered my husband. “Why?â€?

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SCARY TIMES A poll of European Jews has found that more than three-quarters of those questioned believe antiSemitism is on the rise in their home countries and close to one-third have considered emigrating because

after a four-week trial of conspiracy to commit mail fraud Prosecutors said he was the highest ranking insider to participate in the fraud by processing fraudulent applications to the conference. He was ordered to pay restitution of $57.3 million. A LOSS AT BELZ

After the loss of her husband during the war, Rav Yosef Meir Pollack, she married the Belzer Rebbe in 1949. CAN’T SIT THERE Saudi Arabia on Friday rejected its freshly-acquired seat on the

Rebitzen Chana Rokeach, the wife of Rav Aaron of Belz, was Niftar

they don’t feel safe. The survey was conducted by the European Union’s Agency for Fundamental Rights. SURVIVOR’S THIEF

U.N. Security Council, saying the 15-member body is incapable of UHVROYLQJ ZRUOG FRQÁLFWV VXFK DV the Syrian civil war. The move came just hours after the kingdom was elected as one of the Council’s 10 nonpermanent members.

The former director of a program established to aid the survivors of Nazi persecution has been sentenced in New York to eight years in prison for his role in a $57 million fraud. The 55-year-old Domnitser was convicted in May

on Shabbos in Bnei Brak’s Mayanei HaYeshua Hospital at the age of 98. Her petira comes following prolonged hospitalization. Over recent weeks KHU FRQGLWLRQ WRRN D VLJQLÀFDQW WXUQ for the worse. The nifteres was the mother of the Rebbe of Beregzasz ZT”L and daughter of the Makova Rebbe, Rav Yechiel Chaim Lavin.

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WE ARE DOING TSHUVA A senior Iranian nuclear negotiator says his country is taking a “new approach” with the U.N.’s

39

nuclear agency, which is concerned about allegations that Tehran secretly worked on atomic arms. Deputy

resolve a decade-long standoff over its nuclear program. HOT NEWS This year is the seventh warmest since records began in 1850 with a trend to weather extremes and

next year. The enrollment in private plans amounts to 1.5 percent of a forecast 7 million people who were expected to sign up by the time enrollment wraps up in the end of March. Nearly 1 million people have successfully checked whether they are eligible for government subsidies toward the new insurance, but have not selected a plan, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. WAS THAT MY BID?

Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi offered no details ahead of a meeting Monday with Yukiya Amano, the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency. But his remarks suggested that Iran was coming to deadlocked talks between the agency and Iranian diplomats with fresh proposals. WHAT’S HE THINKING? Senior U.S. lawmakers expressed sharp frustration with the Obama administration’s call to delay new sanctions against Iran on Wednesday, XQGHUVFRULQJ WKH GLIÀFXOW VDOHV MRE the Democratic president has as

An enormous diamond known as “The Pink Starâ€? has sold for more than $83 million at an auction, far surpassing its expected price. the impact of storms such as Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines aggravated by rising sea levels, the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) said on Wednesday. Other extremes this year have included record heatwaves in Australia and Ă RRGV IURP 6XGDQ WR (XURSH WKH WMO said. Japan had its warmest summer on record. JUST DON’T GET SICK About 106,000 people signed up for insurance coverage nationally under President Barack Obama’s

Sotheby’s says the sale Wednesday QLJKW RI WKH YLYLG DQG à DZOHVV 59.60-carat pink diamond is the highest price ever paid for a gemstone at auction. LET’S DRINK TO THAT A Palestinian Authority minister has accused Israel of poisoning former PLO leader Yasser Arafat

he pursues a rapprochement with Tehran. President Barack Obama’s administration wants a “temporary pauseâ€? on new sanctions on Iran to allow diplomats from the United 6WDWHV DQG Ă€YH RWKHU ZRUOG SRZHUV to negotiate with Tehran and test whether it might be possible to

healthcare law during October, the government said on Wednesday, a tiny fraction of the millions of people that had been expected to enroll for

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in the same way Jews “poisoned Prophet Mohammed.� “Yasser Arafat died as a martyr,� Habbash said. “We never had the slightest doubt that they [Israel] killed him. They killed him in one way or another.� Habbash said that Arafat was killed “the same way Prophet Mohammed was killed. I don’t think that any of us has the slightest doubt that Arafat was killed. Deep inside we all know who killed him.� NO YAD AND NO SHAME Mayor Michael Bloomberg was honored Sunday night at the American Society for Yad Vashem dinner in midtown Manhattan, where he was awarded the Yad Vashem Remembrance Award.

President Mohammed Morsi is being held in a sprawling penitentiary that is notorious as one of Egypt’s highestsecurity prisons. Morsi spent his ÀUVW QLJKW DW WKH %RUJ HO $UDE SULVRQ in a hospital room at the facility, complaining of high blood pressure and high blood sugar after a dramatic court appearance earlier Monday, the start of his trial on charges of inciting the killing of protesters in December 2012. The trial was adjourned by the judge for two months.

2011 was blamed on U.S. laws that prohibit funding to any U.N. agency that implies recognition of the

THIS BUGS ME Some parents are scratching their heads over less restrictive head lice policies that allow children with live bugs in their hair to return to the classroom. And some school nurses

Palestinians’ demands for their own state. Israel also pulled its funding, objecting to what it called unilateral attempts by the Palestinians to gain recognition of statehood. GERMANY MUST PUBLISH LIST The United States has asked *HUPDQ\ WR SXEOLVK D OLVW RI Nazi-looted works of art that were

The Holocaust remembrance and education organization selected Bloomberg for his “visionary leadership in the city of New York, his generous support of Holocaust remembrance and his philanthropic work in shaping a better future.� NEED A LAWYER? Deep in the desert and far from his former base of power, ousted

are no longer sending home the dreaded “lice note� to other parents with kids in the classroom, alerting them to the possibility of lice in their own child’s precious locks. The policy shift is designed to help keep children from missing class, shield children with lice from embarrassment and protect their privacy. Makes you scratch your head. PAY UP OR VOTE ELSEWHERE UNESCO has suspended the voting rights of the United States and Israel, two years after both countries stopped paying dues to the U.N.‘s cultural arm in protest over its granting full membership to the Palestinians. The U.S. decision to cancel its funding in October

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found in a Munich apartment last \HDU GXULQJ D *HUPDQ WD[ HYDVLRQ SUREH 86 RIÀFLDOV VDLG RQ 7KXUVGD\ Customs investigators seized the paintings, sketches and sculptures, dating from the 16th century to the modern period, last year but stayed silent until now because they had chanced upon the art during a tax evasion probe, which compels secrecy. The secrecy and the failure so far to publish a complete list of the works has attracted criticism from those who argue that publicizing VXFK ÀQGV LV FUXFLDO WR HVWDEOLVKLQJ their ownership.

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Torah PHOTOS

BE GRATEFUL By Rabbi Moshe Shmiel Rottenberg

T

hese days, unfortunately, wherever we turn we hear of troubles that people are experiencing. We are faced with challenges like never before. From cancer to car accidents; from a lack of parnasa to children going off the derech; from the shidduch crisis to the general state of disillusionment and despondence that seems to be gripping our

Think for a minute how many problems we can solve E\ RXUVHOYHV because they are not really problems! community at the throat. Simchas Hachaim seems to have dissipated into thin air. The list of tzaros is long and lingering and heart-breaking. But how many of these tzaros are our own doing? If we think

into our own personal situations and put some machshava into our circumstances, we may be surprised WR Ă€QG KRZ PXFK JRRG ZH DFWXDOO\ have! One would expect that if Hashem does provide a person with good, be it mazal, parnasa, nachas or any other bracha, that person would appreciate it to no end. He would KROG RQWR KLV * G JLYHQ JLIW DQG make the most of it with simcha and a positive attitude. Instead, we sometimes see people who are blessed with good, turning that very goodness into tzara. These tzaros are not given to them by Hashem, they are selfmade! People tend to blame Hashem when their childrens’ shidduchim don’t go through, but often their basherte shidduchim were declined for ridiculous reasons. People blame Hashem when their children become ‘at risk’ but so often, that situation stems from a lack of shalom bayis or a lack of acceptance and love for their child. People blame Hashem for their lack of parnasa when so often it is because they did not give enough tzedaka or they conducted dishonest business deals, and their ‘bottom line’ was adversely affected by their own actions! Think about it: How much of your own personal

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portion of hardship is homemade? How many things can be remedied by changing your attitude, your middos or your perspective on life? Instead of complaining, it’s time we all learned to fully appreciate what we are given, and to use those gifts productively. How many families are ripped apart because of unnecessary and even unintentional machlokes? How many people complain about KRZ GLIĂ€FXOW LW LV WR UDLVH FKLOGUHQ without giving a thought to the many who are experiencing infertility or the heartbreak of sick children. How many people do you know who are earning a comfortable salary, but who consistently complain that it’s not enough or their job is too hard, or their boss isn’t giving them the recognition they deserve‌ So many unemployed men would wish to be in that same ‘not-good-enough’ position! Children grow old because their parents decline shidduch offers for foolish reasons, while so many others would wish to be redt that same less-than-perfect name. Yerushas EHFRPH UHDVRQV IRU VWULIH DQG FRQĂ LFW among siblings, instead of reasons for rejoicing over newfound wealth to share. All these gifts are going

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unacknowledged and unappreciated because of our own VHOĂ€VKQHVV DQG RXU LQDELOLW\ WR VHH WKH JRRG Think for a minute how many problems we can solve by ourselves - because they are not really problems! They are crises of our own making. People walk around with complexes and grudges for no reason: This one is thinking badly about another, that one is spreading loshon hara and motzi shem ra‌ These weeks we learn in the sedros ‍×?בות ץימ×&#x; ×œ×‘× ×™×?‏ ‍ מע׊ה‏- the ‍ ×?בות‏dealt with a lot, but they took care of a lot as well. They did not throw all their complaints at Hashem but accepted their fate and appreciated their blessings. They didn’t create additional burdens, but found the good in life and greeted it with simcha and gratitude. May Hashem open our eyes to appreciate what we do have, to be grateful for what we are given, and to improve our own situation by improving ourselves.

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RECIPES Always Perfect Sweet and Sour Meatballs 1 lb ground beef *DUOLF SRZGHU Onion powder

1 egg 1/4 cup matzo meal 12 ounces chili sauce

1/2 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup lemon juice

Mix together beef, garlic powder, onion powder, egg, and matzo meal. Form into VPDOO EDOOV DQG VHW DVLGH 3RXU FKLOL VDXFH LQWR PHGLXP VDXFHSDQ 5HĂ€OO ERWWOH ZLWK water, shake well, and add to pot. Add the brown sugar and lemon juice, and mix. Bring sauce to a boil. Taste and adjust amounts of lemon juice and brown sugar to taste. Drop in meatballs. Return to boil, cover, and simmer for at least 20 minutes (but you can leave it on for much longer if you forget). VARIATION #1: For chili sauce, you can substitute either tomato sauce or tomato juice or diced canned tomatoes, and adjust the sweeteners and water accordingly. You just want it to be a saucy consistency, not too thick or thin. If you use plain tomato juice or sauce, you can add in some garlic powder or other seasoning. The sky is the limit. But, do NOT use spaghetti sauce! 9$5,$7,21 )RU PDW]R PHDO \RX FDQ VXEVWLWXWH EUHDG FUXPEV RDWPHDO D OLWWOH Ă RXU RU DQ\ RWKHU binding agent. VARIATION #3: For brown sugar you can substitute real maple syrup, sugar, honey, grape jelly, or any RWKHU UHDO VZHHWHQHU 'R QRW XVH QXWULVZHHW RU DQ\ RWKHU DUWLĂ€FLDO VZHHWHQHU

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Original recipe makes 4 servings:

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RECIPES

Sufganiyot (Jelly Doughnuts) 2 (1/4 ounce) envelopes dry yeast 1/4 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees F) 1 1/2 cups lukewarm milk or 1 1/2 cups soymilk 3/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2 eggs

6 tablespoons shortening or 6 tablespoons margarine FXSV à RXU Oil, for deep frying 1 (13 1/2 ounce) jar strawberry jelly (or other fruit jelly) Confectioners’ sugar

6SULQNOH \HDVW RYHU ZDUP ZDWHU DQG OHW VWDQG ÀYH PLQXWHV RU XQWLO IRDP\ ,Q D ODUJH bowl, mix together the yeast mixture, milk, sugar, salt, eggs, shortening and two cups à RXU 0L[ IRU D IHZ PLQXWHV DW ORZ VSHHG %HDW LQ UHPDLQLQJ à RXU FXS DW D WLPH XQWLO WKH GRXJK QR ORQJHU VWLFNV WR WKH ERZO .QHDG IRU DERXW ÀYH PLQXWHV RU XQWLO VPRRWK DQG elastic. Place the dough in a greased bowl and cover. Let rise in a warm place until doubled LQ EXON DERXW DQ KRXU RU D ELW ORQJHU 7XUQ WKH GRXJK RQWR D à RXUHG VXUIDFH DQG JHQWO\ roll out to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut into circles. Let rise again until doubled in bulk. Heat 4 cups of oil in a deep fryer or large pot to 350. Carefully slide doughnuts into hot oil using a wide spatula. Turn the doughnuts over as they rise to the surface. Doughnuts are ready when both sides are golden brown. Fill with 1tsp jelly using a pastry injector, or by cutting a small slit in the side of the doughnut and inserting the jelly with a baby spoon. Close tightly; roll in confectioners’ sugar.

Serves: 40 doughnuts

Orange Chocolate Chunk Cookies FXSV Ă RXU 3/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon fresh, grated orange rind 1 cup margarine, melted 1/2 cup sugar

Yield: 48 cookies

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1 cup packed brown sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon orange extract 2 tablespoons fresh squeezed orange juice 3 ounces premium quality dark chocolate, coarsely chopped

3UHKHDW RYHQ WR GHJUHHV ,Q D PHGLXP ERZO FRPELQH à RXU EDNLQJ VRGD VDOW DQG grated orange rind. Mix well and set aside. In a large bowl blend sugars with electric mixer at medium speed. Add melted margarine and beat well to combine. Add eggs, RUDQJH H[WUDFW DQG RUDQJH MXLFH DQG EHDW ZHOO $GG à RXU PL[WXUH EOHQGLQJ MXVW XQWLO combined. Stir in chocolate chunks. Drop by tablespoons onto foil lined cookie sheets, 1 1/2� apart. Bake for 12-15 minutes until cookies are slightly brown along edges. Transfer cookies to a rack to cool.

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HUMOR

ARE WE MATCHING YET? S. Fishman

R

ecently, I decided to do something crazy. I had this wild brainstorm in the middle of the night (generally, middle of the night brainstorms should be ignored, they don’t usually end well). Due to lack of sleep courtesy of my baby princess, I had the functioning IQ of a rutabaga. Therefore, I was not in my right mind when I decided to match my four girls for an upcoming simcha. What seemed like a good idea at 3:23 am. became a daunting impossibility after several cups of coffee in the morning. Nevertheless, I strapped on my courage (can courage be strapped on?) and went shopping for matching dresses. Sorting through racks and racks of clothing is not an easy task on its own. When you’re looking for matching dresses, it’s even more unnerving. For one thing, the clothes are jammed onto these tiny open-ended racks like D EXQFK RI ÀUVW JUDGHUV DOO WU\LQJ WR squeeze into the backseat of the bus. Following one of Murphy’s Laws of

6KRSSLQJ WKH ÀUVW KDQJHU RQ WKH UDFN WILL fall off. You can try to hang it back up, but it will keep falling off until you get frustrated and jam it onto another rack where it will stick out

She showed me all the dresses that came in various sizes, until my eyes crossed. at a crazy angle and torment you and your pocketbook straps every time you pass. Another of Murphy’s Laws

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of Shopping will strike when you try to actually take one dress off the rack to get a better look. The hanger of the targeted dress will be stuck and WDQJOHG ZLWK Ă€YH RWKHU KDQJHUV <RX can try to untangle them, but you will end up dragging a few dresses off the rack along with the one you want. “Oh, this is pretty, look at the UXIĂ HV RK WKH UXIĂ HV DUH IURP WKH other dress...â€? I was getting dizzy and the few brain cells I had left were rapidly withering away. A very sweet and helpful salesgirl came to my rescue. She showed me all the dresses that came in various sizes until my eyes crossed. Blindly, (because my eyes had crossed) I selected one and asked if she had it in a size ten, eight, six and four. This is where the third Murphy’s Law of Shopping comes into play. Even if \RX Ă€QG GUHVVHV \RX OLNH VRPHWKLQJ will go wrong with the sizes. In my case, the size four. Which they didn’t have. They did have a size two, though. The sweet and helpful salesgirl

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was full of wonderful ideas to help me solve my size dilemma. “You could add some fabric, or a wide ribbon to the bottom, let out the waist and the shoulders, let down the sleeves, move the buttons... and it should be just great.” My intelligent response to this was: “huh?” “Or...you can go up a size for everyone, get a twelve, ten, eight, and six...hem up all of them, take them in at the waist and shoulders, bring the sleeves up a bit, move the buttons... and it should be just great.” “Huh?” I was very confused. I was also a little frightened by the lady standing at the next rack with a very determined look on her face. She held

the same dresses I had, no doubt waiting for me to put them down so she can swoop in and grab them up to complete her matching set. “You know what else you can do?” the undeterred, sweet and helpful salesgirl continued. “You can do a color scheme...you know? (no, I did not know, that’s why she was KHOSLQJ PH *HW PDWFKLQJ GUHVVHV IRU the two younger girls and then just get the same color tops for the older girls.” The look of panic and horror on my face made the sweet and helpful salesgirl take a wise step back. Her survival instincts were evidently in full working order. I crammed the dresses onto the QHDUHVW UDFN WKH ÀUVW WZR LQHYLWDEO\

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fell down and scary lady scooped WKHP XS EHIRUH WKH\ KLW WKH ÁRRU DQG made my escape. At the end, I came home with four matching dresses, a considerably lighter wallet, a migraine and some XQLGHQWLÀDEOH IX]]\ WKLQJ WKDW FRXOG have been earmuffs, I’m not sure. I also don’t know where or why I got it. My neighbor wanted to know what color my dress was because I don’t want to clash with my girls. I don’t? “And what about the tablecloths?” Tablecloths? Apparently, I don’t want to clash with those either.

63

Challenge Yourself

EASY

MEDIUM

SUDOKU

HOW TO PLAY

The objective of sudoku is to enter a digit from 1 through 9 in each cell, in such a way that: Each horizontal row contains each digit exactly once Each vertical column contains each digit exactly once Each subgrid or region contains each digit exactly once

The puzzler’s job is to fill the remainder of the grid with digits –respecting, of course, the three constraints mentioned earlier.

HARD

In each sudoku puzzle, several digits have already been entered (the “givens”); these may not be changed.

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could help stress reduction, muscle tension and stiffness, range and ease of motion, circulation of blood and lymph, posture and reduce mental stress for a calmer mind. It’s essential for the feeling of well being & health maintenance.

TORAHTIMES

MASSAGE-NEUROMUSCULAR THERAPY

Gift Certificates Make Great Chanukah Gifts

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WHO HAS THE BETTER HAND? DO YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE TO FIGHT YOUR TRAFFIC TICKET IN COURT AND WIN?

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AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD

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AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Yoeli Kar

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FULL HOUSE AGAIN AT ACHEINU FLATBUSH PARLOR MEETING TO HEAR HAGAON HARAV SHMUEL YAAKOV BORENSTEIN, SHLITA

A

gain for the third year, over 150 people gathered at the Acheinu Annual Flatbush Parlor Meeting, at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Simcha Applegrad. This year’s event on Thursday, November 7, had the particular zechus and special experience of hearing the warm ZRUGV RI +D*DRQ +D5DY 6KPXHO Yaakov Borenstein, shlita, who graced the event as its guest speaker. It is the third consecutive year that Mr. and Mrs. Applegrad have so graciously hosted the Flatbush Parlor meeting. As always, the event on behalf of Acheinu, promised to be engaging and enjoyable, and it was richly so in every sense, in ruchniyus and gashmiyus together. The exciting ruchniyus component and experience and center of the evening was without a doubt the opportunity to hear Rav Shmuel Yaakov Borenstein and be inspired by his profound and kindhearted words on behalf of the tremendous kiruv activities of Acheinu. Acheinu, now in its twentieth year of spectacular activity, growth and

By Yaakov Chaim Eidels success, is the Kiruv movement with the unique program of developing young people as b’nei Torah. It has succeeded, with great Siyata d’Shmaya, in attaining an astonishing success rate of ensuring that children of all backgrounds become complete Shomrei Torah u’Mitzvos. With a unique system of follow up and accountability, Acheinu has succeeded in enrolling more than 93% of its charges, Israeli public school children, in yeshivos kedoshos. In the past 20 years, Acheinu has made a successful positive impact on more than 10,000 children. Each year, roughly 1,200-1,500 Israeli children begin the new school year in yeshivos instead of public schools, thanks to Acheinu’s broad range of programs and initiatives. Acheinu, recognizing the children’s need for constant support and chizuk, invests in an entire staff of avreichim to serve as mentors, throughout their yeshiva years and beyond, until they become true bnei Torah, marry and establish Torah homes. +D*DRQ +D5DY 6KPXHO <DDNRY Borenstein

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Rav Shmuel Yaakov Borenstein, the renowned rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Kiryas Melech in Bnei Brak, is known for his brilliance in Torah and comprehensive shiurim. Rav Borenstein served as a R�M at Yeshiva Nachlas Dovid in Petach Tikvah and then as a rosh yeshiva at <HVKLYD &KHYURQ *HXODK IRU WZHQW\ \HDUV ZLWK +D*DRQ +D5DY &KDLP Sarna zt�l. With the founding of Kiryas Melech in Bnei Brak he was invited to serve as rosh yeshiva. Rav Borenstein was one of the most prominent talmidim of Rav Chaim Shmulevitz zt�l and was involved in the preparation of Rav Chaim’s seforim, Shaarei Chaim. He was also one of the most SURPLQHQW WDOPLGLP RI +D*DRQ HaRav Yitzchok Hutner zt�l at <HVKLYDV %HLV +D7DOPXG *XU $U\HK Rav Borenstein is the author of several important sefarim including collections of his Shiurim on several masechtos of Shas. Rav Shmuel Yaakov Borenstein’s words Rav Dovid Morgenstern, Chairman of the Parlor Meeting’s

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inestimable, a point Rav Borenstein noted by artfully weaving together many sources of Midrash DQG *HPDUD Rav Borenstein cited Rashi’s comment on “You shall be happy before HaShem, you, your son, your daughter, your servant, and your maid-servant, the Levi, the stranger, the orphan, and the widow,â€? (Devarim 16:11). Said HaKadosh Baruch Hu, “I have four bnei bayis: the Levi, the stranger, the orphan, and the widow. If you make my four happy, I will make your four happy: you, your son, your daughter your servant, and your maid-servant.â€? The Israeli public school children of Acheinu are HaShem’s orphans in that sense: Who will raise them? Who will be mechanech them? If we bring true happiness to HaShem’s children; He will certainly bring true happiness to ours.â€? Because of Acheinu’s truly amazing work and formidable accomplishments in kiruv, it has DWWUDFWHG D VLJQLĂ€FDQW ORFDO UHFHSWLRQ committee of Flatbush community leaders and askanim dedicated to Acheinu’s mission and increased success. The Reception Committee members are: Rav Dovid Morgenstern, Chairman, Simcha Applegrad, Chaskel Bennett, (IURLP )DVWHQ 6KXON\ *UHHQZDOG Menachem Jakubovic, Menachem Katz, Yitzy Leshintsky, Menachem Lipman, Yanky Miller, Moshe Muller, Mendy Strauss, Levi Zagelbaum, and 5DY *HGDOLDK =ORWRZLW] They have encouraged their friends to avail themselves of the opportunity. For more information about Acheinu, please visit www.acheinu. org.

Reception Committee opened the evening by connecting the remarkable work of Acheinu with the Parshah of the week. Rav Borenstein shlita, was then introduced by Rav Shlomo Cynamon, shlita, Rav of K’hal Bnei Torah and Rosh Kollel of Kollel Dirshu of Flatbush. Rav Cynamon is an erudite talmid chochom and maggid shiur. Rav Cynamon, introducing Rav Borenstein, stressed that the crowd who had come to hear such a tremendous marbitz Torah as Rav Borenstein, was there, “not because we are celebrity seekers,â€? but for the opportunity to see and aspire to their greatness and be inspired by it. Rav Borenstein opened his gentle and erudite address describing Acheinu’s formidable kiruv accomplishments (“an amazing phenomenonâ€?) which he compared to the model of Yaakov Avinu in the week’s Parshah, Vayeitzei. Yaakov Avinu came after 14 years of learning in the Yeshiva of 6KHP DQG (LYHU DQG IRXQG Ă RFNV RI thirsty sheep, but all the shepherds simply didn’t have the strength to remove the stone on the mouth of WKH ZHOO WR SURYLGH ZKDW WKH Ă RFNV thirsted for. Yaakov stepped forward and removed the stone, as Rashi describes it as if removing a cork from a bottle, “to teach you that his strength was greatâ€?. It would appear that his strength was physical. But Rav Borenstein cited an insight from an inference of the Alter of Kelm, told to him by his rebbe, Rav Chaim 6KPXOHYLW] IURP WKH 7HĂ€ODV *HVKHP of R. Elazar HaKalir: “Yichad Lev vegal even mipi habe’er . . . bavuro DO WLPQD PD\LP Âľ <DDNRY XQLĂ€HG directed his heart, and revealed the stone from the well . . . in that merit, may there be water.â€? Beyond physical

prowess, Yaakov’s directing his heart because he felt the achrayus, the responsibility, to water sheep who were thirsty, that gave him the strength to do what all the shepherds could not. That is Acheinu. The Achrayus: “Ein Hadavar taluy elah bi,â€? itself gives a person the kochos and strength to give Torah to thirsty young Israeli children who need LW 7KRXJK WKH \RXQJ Ă RFNV WKDW Acheinu brings close to Torah do not know that they thirst, they certainly GR DQG WKH\ HYHQWXDOO\ Ă RFN WR Yeshivos and become bnei Torah. Rav Borenstein mentioned that in his own yeshiva, “we have a boy who came from Acheinuâ€?. He noted that today this thirst is not just in children who come to Acheinu with no background, but even in young people from observant families who have “fallen from WKH Ă RFNÂľ ZKR WKHPVHOYHV GRQ¡W know how much they truly thirst for Torah. Acheinu’s chesed and reward in dealing with such children, whose families are in such pain, Rav Bornstein said, is simply limitless. Moreover, the reward Hashem gives for bringing children close to Torah and into Yeshivos is

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INSIGHTS AND INTERESTS

15 PRACTICAL TIPS

ON RAISING A BABY

T

he following are some words of wisdom from a Dad who really doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time, but has still somehow managed to be a parent to one wonderful FKLOG IRU QHDUO\ ÀYH \HDUV without killing him. I also happen to be in the midst of raising newborn twins (also, still alive b’H!), so all of this is marvelously and excruciatingly fresh to me. Feel free to laugh at what i learned.

1.

To you, your newborn baby will look like the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. Other people may say something along the lines of, “You have a very cute baby. I always say that, but this time, I really mean it.� He doesn’t really mean it. Your baby will be perfect, b’H, but he will probably not be cute. Until they

ÀOO RXW QHZERUQV ORRN OLNH ZULQNO\ old men. You won’t recognize this for a few years, not until you look back at pictures of your baby in the days after he or she was born.

2.

Make sure the books you read to your child are tolerable, because you will read them 1,000 times each over the course of WKHLU ÀUVW IHZ \HDUV $OVR DYRLG WKH nursery rhymes you or your parents grew up with - unless you like the idea that your child will live in SHUSHWXDO IHDU RI VZDOORZLQJ D à \ RU falling with her cradle off a tree.

3.

You have to feed your baby every two to three hours in WKH ÀUVW IHZ ZHHNV which will mean waking up several times throughout the night. By the time you feed your baby, change its diaper, burp it, and clean up the mess, it will be time to wake up again and begin the cycle anew.

4.

You and your wife will have arguments about who slept less. You will be under the illusion that, if you can win that argument, you won’t have to be the one to get up and tend to the child at

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4 a.m. However, this is a devil’s trap. You will spend more time arguing over who slept less than it will take to actually perform the task. Moreover, if you win the argument and are allowed to sleep 15 minutes more than your wife, you will pay for it twice over, in the tasks you will have to perform the next day because “you got 15 minutes more sleep than I did.� This is a good time to remind you that misery loves company. You should both get up, that way no one ever gets the upper hand.

5.

When you remove a diaper, ALWAYS HAVE THE NEXT 21( :$,7,1* ,I there’s even a millisecond between the time that you remove a diaper and replace it with another, your baby will know. He will take advantage of that millisecond.

6.

Colic is a myth, but it will feel great to blame your child’s constant crying on it. It’s a convenient excuse, but the reality is: Babies cry. A lot. When they’re hungry, when they’re gassy, when they’re bored, when they want you to hold them, or because it’s Tuesday and they just feel like it. It’s just easier to tell other people it’s

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INSIGHTS AND INTERESTS colic because you don’t really know what’s wrong with the child.

7.

Understand that Attachment Parenting is a wonderful, beautiful, glorious thing, until that

Diaper services are great, but do you really want to invite someone into your home when there are 200 dirty diapers piled in a corner hamper? PRPHQW \RX QHHG ÀYH PLQXWHV WR yourself but you can’t have it because your child is attached to you at the hip. Permanently.

8.

&ORWK GLDSHUV" *RRG luck. It’s great. It’s noble. It’s better for the environment. But when you’re exhausted, sleepdeprived, and your house has fallen into shambles, the last thing you may want to do is wash another load of dirty diapers. It’s hard enough keeping up with the laundry when \RXU EDE\ RQO\ KDV WKUHH RXWÀWV EHFDXVH VKH JURZV WKURXJK DQ RXWÀW every two weeks, and she soils all

WKUHH RI WKRVH RXWĂ€WV HYHU\ VLQJOH GD\ Diaper services are great, but do you really want to invite someone into your home when there are 200 dirty diapers piled in a corner hamper and you have spit-up in your shaitel?

9.

Stay-at-home mom? *RRG IRU \RX ,I someone judges you, tell them to mind their RZQ EXVLQHVV :RUNLQJ PRP" *RRG for you. If someone judges you, tell them to mind their own business. Whatever path you choose, never let yourself feel guilty for it.

10.

How you parent isn’t as important as who you are in a child’s successful outcome. What kind of person you are is important to what kind of person your child will be. If you are a good tipper, your child will be a good tipper. If you are a kvetch, your child will be a kvetch. It’s simple, really. If you want good kids, be good.

11

. Your child may love rice or spaghetti. That’s great! But it’s messy: Only half of it ever gets into your child’s mouth. The RWKHU KDOI ZLQGV XS RQ WKH à RRU WKH walls, the counters and the ceiling. Wait until it dries to try and clean it up. It’s much easier.

12.

Wait until your child goes to bed to pick up all the toys. If you try to pick up throughout the day, you’ll spend the entire day cleaning up. It will make you a very unhappy person. 13. Children have a very literal sense of humor. Not only do they

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not understand irony, they may not understand the art of telling a joke. They may assign the same punch line to every joke. For instance, if you tell this joke -- “Knock knock!� “Who’s there?� “Lettuce!� “Lettuce who?� “Let us in, it’s cold out here!� -Your child may end every single knock knock joke for the next six months with “Let us in, it’s cold out here!� even if it is completely nonsensical. Play along. It’s adorable.

14.

Taking a baby or toddler onto a plane means giving up every shred of your dignity. It means becoming that person you’ve always hated. It may be the most miserable day of your existence. But if it means getting your child to Florida, where your mother will look after him for a few hours while you enjoy a quiet meal at a restaurant, then too bad everyone. You won’t ever see the people on that plane again. Their misery is inconsequential in the face of the prospect of free childcare and a piece of meat layered in gravy and fried rice.

15.

Don’t listen to anyone. Other parents will dispense advice like candy. Pay no attention. <RX¡OO Ă€JXUH LW RXW RQ \RXU RZQ Somehow, we all do. Read the books, don’t read the books. Follow whatever parenting method you’d like, or no parenting method at all. Do whatever it takes to work. There’s a study that will validate everything you do, and another study to tell you what you’re doing is wrong. Bottom line: Just love the kid like you’ve never loved anything else, and everything will iy’H turn out well.

%8==

MAGAZINE

CLASSIFIEDS Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Event

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Call Mechy 347-672-5199

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Hiring full time position graphic designer. web designer bookkeeper, manager 646-709-5878

Right Choice Pest Control

YAD NECHAMA MINDEL

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EXTERMINATOR: Water bugs, Ants, Bed Bugs, etc. It’s ant season…Are YOU ready?

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FOR SALE

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(All ads accepted, except those meant for business solicitation) free classified ads are not edited

%8==

MAGAZINE

Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Events I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

85

MOLLY’S

fine jewelr y for all ages specializing in Chosson-Kallah

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718 789 9200

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Chairs Tables Linen

HOURS: Daily: 11-5:30 Mon & Thurs Eves: 7-9 PM Fri: 11-1

Tents Staging Etc

86 Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Events I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

%8==

MAGAZINE

%8==

MAGAZINE

Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Events I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

87

CHANUKAH

SALE CHAYAS PRECUT

November 26 through Dec 5

TAKE $300 OFF*

$300 OFF ALL WIGS ABOVE $1599

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$60 GIFT CARD RECEIVE A $60 GIFT CARD WITH ANY PURCHASE

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NEW!

Removable Highlights . Verso Cut . Braid Extensions . Front and Back Graduated Lace Hairlines

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| ALL LENGTHS | ALL COLORS

RESTRICTIONS: WIG PURCHASE INCLUDES CUT AND STYLING. CHAYA'S CUT EXTRA. CERTAIN BRANDS NOT INCLUDED IN SALE.SAVINGS CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH ANY OTHER OFFERS, UNLESS SPECIFICALLY NOTED ON THE OFFER. WIG MUST BE PAID IN FULL AT THE TIME OF PURCHASE. CUSTOMER MUST REQUEST SAVINGS AT TIME OF PURCHASE. SALE DOES NOT APPLY TO PONY WIGS. OTHER RESTRICTIONS MAY APPLY. SEE YOUR LOCAL STORE FOR DETAILS.

88 Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Events I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

%8==

MAGAZINE

DURING THE WEEK OF CHANUKAH PURCHASE A MINUMUM OF $250 TO RECEIVE 40% OFF ANY WATCH IN STOCK

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TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABOUT OUR LAKEWOOD STORE, RAM JEWELERS! (736) 363-6808

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