Flatbush & Five Towns Buzz January 11 2015

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Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Events

Volume 2, Issue 34

January 11th 2015

DR DAVIDOWITZ

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The Men’s Corner

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V iolet A color that conjured up a vision of elegance, drama – but also softness, vulnerability. $ à RZLQJ IDEULF OLNH VLON EXW PXFK heavier, shades of color shimmering GRZQ WKH JDUPHQW LQ D ZDYH RI JUDGXDO change‌

She devoted herself to her studies, and had grand ambitions to succeed in D FRPSHWLWLYH ZRUOG ZKHUH ZRPHQ ZHUH VWLOO GLVFULPLQDWHG DJDLQVW 6KH KDG IHZ friends – most girlish conversations seemed petty and trivial and she had no patience for them. Then at college VKH IRXQG D IHZ RWKHU OLNH PLQGHG companions, and they aggressively devoted themselves to attaining their

COLOR

6KH KDG DOZD\V KDWHG SLQN 3LQN ZDV for girls. %OXH ZRXOG KDYH EHHQ Ă€QH LI VKH KDGQ¡W QRWLFHG WKDW PRVW RWKHU ZRPHQ ZRUH EOXH DQG VR VKH VHWWOHG RQ EODFN %ODFN ZDV D PDQ¡V FRORU ,W GHQRWHG strength, impregnability, resolve; all the TXDOLWLHV WKDW 5LYND ZDQWHG WR FXOWLYDWH ZLWKLQ KHUVHOI She hadn’t analyzed it consciously. 6KH KDG VLPSO\ GHFLGHG WKDW EODFN ZDV her color, even that it suited her coloring. 6RPHWLPHV VKH DOORZHG KHUVHOI VKDGHV RI grey. But nothing more daring than that. 6KH ZDV VWURQJ DQG KDG FXOWLYDWHG a tough, impassive exterior that almost QHYHU UHYHDOHG ZKDW PLJKW EH FKXUQLQJ EHQHDWK 7HDUV ZHUH DQDWKHPD QR PDWWHU ZKDW SDLQ HPRWLRQDO RU SK\VLFDO VKH ZDV VXIIHULQJ 6KH KDG VKXW KHUVHOI tightly in a box, and she believed herself to be happy there. Market in Eastern Europe

She could daven with great concentration and intensity, but tears had nothing to do with that

JRDOV ZLWK OLWWOH RU QR WLPH DOORWWHG IRU frivolous social pursuits. 7KDW ZDV XQWLO WKHLU SDWKV VWDUWHG WR GLYHUJH .DWLH DV KDG EHHQ NQRZQ in those days, started to investigate KHU -HZLVK LGHQWLW\ DQG VRRQ UHDOL]HG that the gaps separating her from KHU QRQ -HZLVK IULHQGV ZHUH PRUH insurmountable than she had previously WKRXJKW 6KH VWDUWHG WR UHGHĂ€QH KHUVHOI DQG DVVRFLDWH ZLWK KHU FR UHOLJLRQLVWV

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DQG GLVFRYHUHG WKDW WKHUH ZHUH HQRXJK people there, even the religious ones, ZKR VKDUHG KHU ZRUN HWKLF DQG GULYLQJ ambition. But gradually she felt herself drift DZD\ IURP WKHP WRR 7KH 7RUDK ZDV IDU more compelling than she had imagined, and she couldn’t honestly deny the LPSOLFDWLRQV IRU KHU RZQ FKRLFHV LQ OLIH $W Ă€UVW VKH KDG SODQQHG RQ JRLQJ WR D VHPLQDU\ ZKHUH VKH ZRXOG OHDUQ Gemara DV ZHOO DV DOO WKH RWKHU PDWHULDO VKH ZDV ODFNLQJ EXW HYHQWXDOO\ FDPH WR WKH UHFRJQLWLRQ WKDW KHU QHZ IRXQG KDVKNDIRV ZRXOGQ¡W VWRPDFK WKDW HLWKHU 6KH JUDGXDWHG DQG ZHQW WR 1HYH &KDUHLGL 1HYH ZKHUH WKH JLUOV VWLOO OHDUQHG SOHQW\ EXW WKH\ ZHUH GHĂ€QLWHO\ girls, not aspiring talmidei chachamim. But VKH VWLOO ODFNHG WKH SDWLHQFH IRU WKHLU feminine ‘shtusim’ and itched to get out DJDLQ LQWR WKH ÂśUHDO ZRUOG¡ ² WKLV WLPH that of marriage. Being engaged didn’t lighten her – her ZDUGUREH ZDV VWLOO PRVWO\ EODFN ZLWK WKH RFFDVLRQDO Ă DVK RI FRORU GHVLJQHG only to accentuate the contrast. Her KHDGVFDUYHV ZHUH DOO GDUN ZLWK PRGHVW SDWWHUQV DQG WKH OLQHQV VKH FKRVH ZHUH VRPEHU DQG UHĂ€QHG ² QR SLQNV RU OLODFV WR EH IRXQG DQ\ZKHUH

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SHIFRA LEA SILBERBERG

&KHGYD WRRN KHU WR WKH .RVHO RQ WKH day of the chasunah 6KH VWRRG ZLWK KHU Tehillim in hand and davened fervently for her and her chassan’s future. Chedva had found herself a place right against the Wall, and had buried her face in her siddur. Only the occasional tremor RI KHU VKRXOGHUV JDYH DZD\ KHU KLGGHQ VREV &KHGYD ZDV ROGHU WKDQ 5LYND DQG VWLOO ZDLWLQJ %XW 5LYND NQHZ WKDW VKH ZRXOG QHYHU KDYH FULHG ZKDWHYHU WKH FLUFXPVWDQFH 7HDUV ZHUH D VLJQ RI ZHDNQHVV $QG VR WKH\ ZHUH PDUULHG RQH \HDU WZR ² DQG WKHQ LW ZDV DOUHDG\ VL[ \HDUV ODWHU ² DQG 5LYND DOUHDG\ KDG IRXU children. She prided herself on being D VHQVLEOH QR QRQVHQVH PRWKHU ZKR NQHZ KRZ WR VWULNH D EDODQFH EHWZHHQ being both strict and loving. Until one GD\ ZKHQ KHU KXVEDQG SXOOHG KHU WR RQH VLGH DIWHU DQ DOWHUFDWLRQ ZLWK KHU HOGHVW GDXJKWHU ZKR ZDV WKHQ IRXU DQG DVNHG KHU TXLHWO\ ZK\ VKH ZDV DOZD\V VR KDUG on that child. 5LYND ORRNHG XS VXUSULVHG ,W KDG never occurred to her that she treated KHU FKLOGUHQ XQHTXDOO\ 6KH ZDV DERXW WR defend herself, and deny the accusation, ZKHQ VKH VXGGHQO\ QRWLFHG WKH SDLQ LQ her husband’s eyes – the pity he felt for his daughter. ´, DP"Âľ VKH VXIĂ€FHG ZLWK VD\LQJ ´'R \RX UHDOO\ VHH LW OLNH WKDW"Âľ 6KH VWDUWHG WR ZDWFK 3HQLQD PRUH FORVHO\ REVHUYLQJ KHU ZKLOH VKH ZDV SOD\LQJ DORQH RU ZLWK KHU VLEOLQJV ² DQG trying to analyze her feelings. Would she have done so, if she hadn’t sensed WKDW KHU KXVEDQG¡V ZRUGV KDG WRXFKHG RQ D WUXWK WKDW VKH ZRXOG KDYH SUHIHUUHG QRW WR FRQIURQW" )RU VKH UHDOL]HG ZLWK JURZLQJ GLVFRPIRUW DQG JXLOW WKDW WKHUH ZDV VRPHWKLQJ WKHUH VRPH GHHS VHDWHG DQWLSDWK\ WRZDUGV WKDW LQQRFHQW FKLOG WKDW VKH MXVW FRXOG QRW SXW KHU Ă€QJHU RQ – but it existed.

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Her natural impulse was to pounce on that one daughter and crush her

3HQLQD ZDV D EHDXWLIXO JLUO ERWK physically, and in her manner and EHKDYLRU 6KH ZDV DOVR LQWHOOLJHQW ZLWKRXW EHLQJ SUHFRFLRXV ,Q VKRUW WKHUH ZDV DEVROXWHO\ QRWKLQJ WKDW 5LYND FRXOG identify as a cause for dissatisfaction – and yet, there had to be something. 5LYND¡V PRWKHU LQ ODZ KDG ERXJKW 3HQLQD D QHZ 6KDEERV GUHVV OLJKW SLQN ZLWK Ă RZHUV 1R UXIĂ HV RU RWKHU VXFK ÂśH[WUDV¡ ² VKH NQHZ KHU GDXJKWHU LQ ODZ¡V VLPSOH WDVWHV 5LYND KHOG XS WKH GUHVV FULWLFDOO\ DQG DGPLWWHG WKDW LW ZDV ORYHO\ 2I FRXUVH VKH ZRXOG QHYHU KDYH GUHDPHG RI EX\LQJ LW ² DIWHU DOO LW ZDV SLQN ² EXW LW VXLWHG 3HQLQD SHUIHFWO\ <HV 3HQLQD ZDV WKH SHUIHFW JLUO LW VHHPHG LQ HYHU\ ZD\ 5LYND ORRNHG DW WKH IHZ SLFWXUHV WKDW VKH SRVVHVVHG RI KHUVHOI DW WKDW DJH DQG ZDV VWDUWOHG DW WKH VLPLODULWLHV EHWZHHQ WKHP ² DQG DOVR DW WKH GLIIHUHQFHV )RU DV ORQJ DV she had been cognizant, she had sought to eradicate any vestiges of girlishness ² EXW 3HQLQD KDG QRQH RI WKH FXOWXUDO SUHVVXUHV WKDW 5LYND KDG JURZQ XS ZLWK to corrupt her natural femininity. :KHQ 3HQLQD IRXJKW ZLWK KHU HOGHU EURWKHU RIWHQ HQRXJK LW ZRXOG HQG LQ WHDUV ² ZKLFK ZRXOG DOZD\V HOLFLW WKH VDPH UHVSRQVH IURP 5LYND ² ´6WRS WKDW FU\LQJ QRZ Âľ ,W VHHPHG VR GHVSLFDEOH LQ KHU H\HV VR ZHDN DQG SDWKHWLF 5LYND herself still never cried. She could daven ZLWK JUHDW FRQFHQWUDWLRQ DQG LQWHQVLW\ EXW WHDUV KDG QRWKLQJ WR GR ZLWK WKDW 6KH had unconsciously relegated the reams of ZRPHQ WKURXJKRXW WKH JHQHUDWLRQV ZKR KDG GDYHQHG ZLWK treren to a category of poor and uneducated, incapable of coming close to Hashem through their seichel and daas. But her seichel ZDV OHWWLQJ KHU GRZQ QRZ DV PXFK DV VKH WULHG WR JLYH PRUH to her daughter and cultivate greater feelings of love and affection, still she IHOW WKDW WKHUH ZDV VRPH KLGGHQ EDUULHU

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that refused to let her cross, one that absorbed all her efforts and repelled WKHP ,W FKDOOHQJHG KHU VHOI LPDJH PRFNLQJ KHU EHOLHI LQ KHUVHOI DV D JRRG PRWKHU IRU DOWKRXJK VKH ZDV JDLQLQJ DZDUHQHVV DQG KROGLQJ EDFN ELWLQJ FRPPHQWV DQG FULWLFLVPV VWLOO VKH NQHZ WKDW KHU QDWXUDO LPSXOVH ZDV WR SRXQFH on that one daughter and crush her. One evening, her frustration and tension spilled over, prompted by a minor incident, leading to an explosion, RI ZKLFK KHU KXVEDQG ZDV WKH UHFLSLHQW As usual, he didn’t respond, and just ZDLWHG IRU WKH VWRUP WR SDVV %XW WKLV WLPH DIWHU DQ LQLWLDO SDXVH KH EURNH WKH tense silence. ´<RX NQRZ , DOZD\V WKRXJKW WKDW ZRPHQ FU\ D ORW ² EXW \RX¡UH QRW OLNH WKDW <RX JHW DQJU\ Âľ 6KH ZDV WRR VKRFNHG WR UHVSRQG :KDW GLG RQH KDYH WR GR ZLWK WKH RWKHU" She fought a constant battle against her DQJHU NQRZLQJ LW ZDV DQ HYLO WUDLW EXW LW KDG QHYHU RFFXUUHG WR KHU WKDW LW ZDV VRPH NLQG RI VXEVWLWXWH IRU WHDUV 'LG WKDW VRPHKRZ YDOLGDWH KHU RU ZDV LW MXVW D QHZ ZD\ RI XQGHUVWDQGLQJ KHUVHOI" ,W ZDV YHU\ WHPSWLQJ WR H[FXVH herself of her episodes of anger – but she FRXOG QRW DOORZ KHUVHOI WR GR VR :KDW ZRXOG LW LPSO\ DQ\ZD\ ² WKDW WHDUV ZHUH WKH PRUH GHVLUDEOH UHVSRQVH WR SDLQ"

:KDW ZDV VR JRRG DERXW FU\LQJ" ,W ZDV just an expression of desperation, of not NQRZLQJ ZKDW WR GR DERXW D VLWXDWLRQ other than display distress. “Why don’t you go to your UHEEHW]LQ"Âľ KHU KXVEDQG VXJJHVWHG ZKHQ VKH Ă€QDOO\ FRQĂ€GHG KHU FRQIXVLRQ ´0DNH DQ DSSRLQWPHQW Âľ $QG VR D IHZ GD\V ODWHU VKH IRXQG herself sitting on the bus for the ride RYHU SHQ DQG QRWHERRN LQ KDQG WU\LQJ

“I always thought that women cry a lot – but you’re not like that. You get angryâ€? to condense her thoughts into concise LVVXHV WKDW QHHGHG UHVROXWLRQ 'HVSLWH KHU KHVLWDWLRQ VKH NQHZ VKH PXVW DOVR PHQWLRQ WKH PDWWHU ZLWK 3HQLQD DQG admit her failure as a mother in this UHVSHFW %XW LI VKH UHDOO\ ZDV GHGLFDWHG WR FKDQJLQJ VKH ZRXOG KDYH WR UHYHDO KHU GHĂ€FLHQFLHV 7KH UHEEHW]LQ JUHHWHG KHU ZDUPO\ DQG VDW GRZQ H[SHFWDQWO\ DV 5LYND IXPEOHG ZLWK KHU QRWHERRN

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´%HIRUH WKDW ² DQG ,¡P JODG \RX prepared – give me your hand one PLQXWH Âľ WKH UHEEHW]LQ LQWHUUXSWHG 5LYND ORRNHG XS TXL]]LFDOO\ ´<RX NQRZ WKDW , OHDUQHG KHDOLQJ WKDW WKHUH DUH JUHDW SRZHUV KLGGHQ ZLWKLQ RXU ERGLHV 6RPHWLPHV LW LV MXVW D NH\ D ZD\ RI TXLFNO\ WDSSLQJ LQWR WKH HQHUJLHV DQG letting feelings and issues emerge that ZH Ă€QG GLIĂ€FXOW WR H[SUHVV LQ ZRUGV Âľ 5LYND FDXWLRXVO\ H[WHQGHG KHU KDQG LQWR WKH UHEEHW]LQ¡V ZKR SURFHHGHG WR H[SODLQ WKDW HDFK Ă€QJHU FHQWHUHG RQ D SDUWLFXODU DUHD RI FRQFHUQ 6KH WRRN 5LYND¡V OLWWOH Ă€QJHU DQG WKHQ ORRNHG XS FXULRXVO\ LQWR 5LYND¡V H\HV ´<RX NQRZ ZKDW LW VD\V KHUH" ,W VD\V ÂśKROG PH , QHHG VXSSRUW ¡ Âľ 5LYND ZDV VWDUWOHG ´:KDW GR \RX PHDQ"Âľ ´,W LVQ¡W UHDOO\ VR VXUSULVLQJ WKRXJK WR \RX PD\EH \HV 0RVW ZRPHQ IHHO WKDW ZD\ WR D OHVVHU RU JUHDWHU GHJUHH ,W LV WKH QDWXUH RI ZRPHQ WR EH QHHG\ DQG WR ORRN WR WKHLU KXVEDQGV WR Ă€OO WKHLU QHHGV %XW you are not used to seeing yourself that ZD\ Âľ ´1R , ZDV EURXJKW XS WR EH VHOI VXIĂ€FLHQW DQG , WKRXJKW WKDW LW ZDV VXUHO\ WKH LGHDO ² , VKRXOG KDYH P\ RZQ VWUHQJWK ZLWKRXW UHO\LQJ RQ RWKHUV (YHQ LQ WKH 7RUDK ZRUOG WKDW LV VR Âľ The rebbetzin paused carefully before

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DQVZHULQJ ´,W LV FHUWDLQO\ QRW DQ H[FXVH to be lazy. But it is an inherent fact of teva RI WKH ZD\ +DVKHP LQWHQWLRQDOO\ GHVLJQHG WKH ZRUOG Brachah Ă RZV LQWR the house through the husband, because KLV ZLIH ORRNV WR KLP WR SURYLGH DQG KH LQ WXUQ ORRNV WR +DVKHP %XW WKH RXWVLGH ZRUOG KDV JUHDWO\ EURNHQ GRZQ WKLV UXOH ZLWK GLVDVWURXV UHVXOWV Âľ 5LYND UHPDLQHG VLOHQW WU\LQJ WR DEVRUE WKH UHEEHW]LQ¡V ZRUGV ´%XW WKDW¡V QRW ZKDW \RX FDPH WR PH about – although it’s certainly something WR FRQVLGHU 1RZ OHW¡V WXUQ WR ZKDW EURXJKW \RX KHUH ² OHW¡V VHH ZKDW \RX ZURWH Âľ 5LYND WXUQHG WR KHU SDSHU KHU KDQGV EDFN LQ KHU RZQ FRQWURO RXW RI DQ\RQH¡V SHUFHSWLRQ ´7KHUH DUH WZR WKLQJV 2QH RI WKHP , GRQ¡W HYHQ NQRZ LI LW¡V even really a problem, just more of a FRQIXVLRQ ,W VWDUWHG ZLWK VRPHWKLQJ P\ KXVEDQG VDLG DERXW PH JHWWLQJ DQJU\ ,W VHHPHG WR LPSO\ WKDW LW ZRXOG EH EHWWHU RU PRUH QDWXUDO LI , ZRXOG FU\ LQVWHDG EXW ² WKDW¡V MXVW QRW PH Âľ She faltered to a halt, feeling her FKHHNV EXUQLQJ 6KH ZDV FRPSOHWHO\ unused to revealing anything of her innermost feelings, and felt extremely uncomfortable, and vulnerable, in doing so. ´$QG WKH VHFRQG TXHVWLRQ"Âľ 5LYND Ă€GGOHG QHUYRXVO\ ZLWK KHU Ă€QJHUV DQG WKH HGJHV RI WKH SDSHU ´,W¡V just that, one of my children – there’s QRWKLQJ ZURQJ ² VKH¡V ORYHO\ LQWHOOLJHQW VZHHW ² , MXVW FDQ¡W VHHP WR FRQQHFW ZLWK KHU OLNH , GR ZLWK WKH RWKHUV Âľ 7KH UHEEHW]LQ¡V SHQHWUDWLQJ JD]H ZDV Ă€[HG XSRQ KHU NHHQO\ DQG 5LYND NQHZ VKH ZDV ZDLWLQJ IRU KHU WR HODERUDWH %XW VKH GLGQ¡W NQRZ ZKDW WR DGG ´6KH¡V D SUHWW\ JLUO" $QG VZHHW QDWXUHG \RX VD\"Âľ ´<HV Âľ

“You know what it says here? It says ‘Hold me, I need support.’ �

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´-XVW OLNH \RX ZHUH DV D JLUO Âľ ´1R 1RWKLQJ OLNH LW Âľ 7KH UHEEHW]LQ VKRRN KHU KHDG Ă€UPO\ ´6KH LV MXVW OLNH \RX ZHUH DV D JLUO %XW \RX GRQ¡W ZDQW WR VHH LW /LVWHQ 5LYND ² ,¡YH VDLG HQRXJK , WKLQN \RX KDYH DOO WKH DQVZHUV \RX QHHG DOUHDG\ <RX MXVW KDYH WR EH UHDG\ WR VHH WKHP %XW , NQRZ \RX ² you aren’t frightened of facing the truth HYHQ ZKHQ LW¡V KDUG <RX¡OO FRPH EDFN LI \RX QHHG WR WDON DJDLQ ² EXW , WKLQN \RX ZRQ¡W QHHG WR Âľ 5LYND JRW XQFHUWDLQO\ WR KHU IHHW 7KH UHEEHW]LQ VPLOHG ZDUPO\ ´<RX VKRXOG be matzliach – this challenge has only DULVHQ QRZ ZKHQ \RX KDYH WKH keilim to RYHUFRPH Âľ Standing at the bus stop in the chill QLJKW DLU DQG WKHQ RQ WKH ZD\ KRPH 5LYND WXUQHG KHU WKRXJKWV LQZDUGV EORFNLQJ RXW KHU VXUURXQGLQJV DQG WULHG WR PDNH VHQVH RI WKH VWUDQJH HQFRXQWHU 6KH ZRXOG KDYH PRFNHG WKH ZKROH FRQFHSW RI ÂśKHDOLQJ¡ KDG LW not been presented by someone she so UHVSHFWHG ² QRZ VKH IHOW FRPSHOOHG to try and understand the rebbetzin’s FU\SWLF ZRUGV Hold me ² ZDV WKDW ZKDW VKH ZDQWHG" I need support" ,I DQ\WKLQJ LW ZDV WKH GLDPHWULF RSSRVLWH RI KHU DLPV %XW ZKHQ VKH EHFDPH DQJU\ GLG DQRWKHU HPRWLRQ HPHUJH" She tried to put herself into that frame RI PLQG WR JR ZLWKLQ DQG GHWHUPLQH WKH roots of her feelings. When I get angry, I feel frustrated, out of control – paralyzed. And when a woman cries, is that not what she is feeling" D OLWWOH YRLFH VHHPHG WR HFKR LQVLGH KHU 5LYND JDVSHG 6R ZK\ GLGQ¡W VKH FU\ WRR" %XW VKH KDGQ¡W FULHG IRU \HDUV for as long as she could remember. A ZRPDQ ZKR FULHG ² GHVSLFDEOH FUHDWXUH And then, what does Hashem want of me, in such a situation" +DG VKH HYHU KDG the presence of mind to consider that FUXFLDO TXHVWLRQ LQ WKH KHDW RI DQJHU" %XW

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suddenly, she heard: Hashem wants me to let go, to put myself in His hands, and trust Him. $QG VKH NQHZ WKDW WKLV ZDV WKH DQVZHU Âś+ROG PH¡ ² , QHHG <RXU VXSSRUW 0\ WHDUV DUH DQ DFNQRZOHGJHPHQW WKDW , FDQ¡W GR LW E\ P\VHOI 7KDW , am ZHDN $QG IURP WKDW ZHDNQHVV FRPHV VWUHQJWK ² UHDO koach WKDW FRPHV QRW IURP ZLWKLQ EXW IURP $ERYH +HU DQJHU ZDV DQ DWWHPSW WR GHQ\ WKDW WR NHHS KHU GHVWLQ\ XQGHU KHU RZQ FRQWURO $Q DWWHPSW GRRPHG WR IDLOXUH 8QWLO VKH ZRXOG HYHQWXDOO\ DGPLW that she couldn’t stand alone. She didn’t have to condemn herself. The rebbetzin hadn’t condemned her, hadn’t criticized her failings. She had RQO\ WULHG WR VKRZ KHU D VLGH RI KHU WKDW

she had struggled for so many years to subdue – only to end up subduing the child that most represented the struggle.

“Hashem wants me to let go, to put myself in His hands, and trust Him.� She had to start by accepting herself, and WKHQ VKH ZRXOG EH DEOH WR ORYH 3HQLQD too.

3HQLQD ZDV EHDXWLIXO LQ SLQN D PLOG shade that mothers love to dress their GDXJKWHUV LQ 5LYND OHW KHU LQQHU H\H UXQ over an imaginary color chart, something OLNH D SDLQWHU¡V JXLGH 3LQN ZRXOG QHYHU EH IRU KHU ² LW ZDV WRR OLJKW WRR LQVXEVWDQWLDO $QG EOXH ZDV WRR SDUHY %XW VRPHWKLQJ EHWZHHQ OLODF DQG SXUSOH – a deep violet, strong yet soft, feminine \HW FRQFUHWH ² ZLWK WKH ZHLJKW RI YHOYHW DQG \HW Ă RZLQJ OLNH VLON RU FKLIIRQ +HU gaze relaxed, as she realized that she ZDV RQO\ DW WKH EHJLQQLQJ RI D MRXUQH\ WR GLVFRYHU KHUVHOI DQG WKRVH ZLWK ZKRP VKH VKDUHG KHU OLIH DQHZ

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by Yvette Alt Miller

I

n September, 2010, Staff Sergeant Brian Mast, a bomb technician in Special Operations Command serving in Afghanistan, lost both his legs and part of one hand in an explosion. The highly decorated veteran – Mast has been awarded numerous medals for Valor, Merit and Sacrifice, including the Bronze Star, Army Commendation Medal, Purple Heart, and Defense Meritorious Service Medal – was suddenly, after 12 years in the US military, unable to continue in active service. Yet in an exclusive Aish.com interview Mast insists that being wounded was a turning point in his life, rather than an ending. “Since being

injured, life has been an absolutely positive journey,” he explains. “From the moment I woke up in Walter Reed hospital I’ve witnessed the great lengths that people will go to help wounded veterans.” From hand-made quilt covers to “Warriors to Wall Street” that offers career advice in the financial industry, Mast discovered an endless array of volunteer initiatives channeling their talents to aid others. He was overcome with gratitude. “It made me want to give my own back,” he recalls. Brian Mast prior to his Sept 2010 injuryBrian Mast prior to his Sept 2010 injury After discharge, Mast – who has

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been married to his wife Brianna for eight years, and has two young boys (and a baby girl on the way) – took a job in Miami as an explosives specialist for the Department of Homeland Security. His work includes counterterrorism, helping train police and other law enforcement agencies in bomb disposal strategies. But Mast wanted to do more. He used his GI Bill that gives scholarships to former combat veterans to enroll as a long-distance student in Harvard, majoring in Economics. He completes the bulk of his coursework during the school year online and mainly travels to Boston for coursework in the summer. This helps him avoid Boston’s harsh

21

winter weather. “Prosthetics and snow and ice just don’t mix that well.”

Anti-Israel Protests Mast was in Boston working on his degree in the summer of 2014, as Israel suffered through thousands of rockets and mortars launched into its civilian centers from Hamas-controlled Gaza where an extensive network of terror tunnels were discovered. He was staying with friends near Boston Common where virulently anti-Israel demonstrations took place each week. As a former American soldier, wearing an Army rangers’ baseball cap and shorts showing his prosthetic legs, Mast was also targeted by protestors when he made his sympathies for the Jewish state known. Mast grew up in a Christian household, he explains, and was always proud of Israel, viewing it as a vibrant democracy and friend of the United States, whose commitment to pluralism and freedom it shares. His work in counterterrorism only

deepened his appreciation, as he worked with Israeli bomb disposal experts through the years. “I count them as friends,” he says of his Israeli fellow soldiers. The anti-Israel protests shocked him. “Even though rocket attacks were going on Israel, news coverage nationwide was so mixed. So many people wanted to paint Israel as the aggressor, and I was amazed that Americans could do this,” Mast explains. “Selfdefense is a basic right. If the United States were attacked, we would defend ourselves too.” At times, the protests veered into outright anti-Semitism. Travelling back and forth to Harvard’s campus on the T, Boston’s metro system, Mast was disappointed to see “protestors with their anti-Semitic signs. It was beyond me that anyone could consider Israel the aggressor. There’s no other ally that we have in

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the Middle East that touts freedom as we do. That freedom is what the Unites States stands for too.” Mast returned home at the end of that summer determined to do something to strengthen the Jewish state. “I wanted to make my own show of support,” he explains. “What I was looking for wasn’t a Tweet message that I support Israel.”

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Volunteering for Israel Sgt. Brian Mast caddying for Ed ReedSgt. Brian Mast caddying for Ed Reed Like those who gave their all to assist wounded veterans, Mast wanted to give his all to help Israel. “I wanted to give my own blood and sweat and tears, I wanted to get to Israel, to serve in my own capacity. I want to assist Israel militarily any way I can.” He reached out to Israel’s consulate in Miami and made phone calls to see where he could help. Eventually, he found out about a program that would allow him to volunteer on an Israeli army base for a few weeks. Thisisn’t an especially convenient time for Mast to take on extra tasks. Brianna is expecting their third child in a few weeks. Instead of being deterred and postponing his plans, Mast is heading for Israel right away to volunteer. He leaves January 10 and will return home soon before the baby is born. “If I want to do something, I never doubt my ability to do it,” he explains. “I just jump in and get it done.” Mast has reached out to some Israeli contacts to offer his bomb disposal expertise but he has no guarantee that he’ll work in his field. He’s willing to work in any field during his stint in Israel. “There’s nothing that I’m above doing, I’m happy to just help in whatever way I can.” A former soldier, Mast says he understands there are unglamorous things that need to get done in the military. “Floors need to be swept, boots need to be cleaned, engines need to be maintained and things like that – if I can help with anything, I’m happy to do it.” In the weeks since Mast has announced his plans to volunteer in Israel, he’s received messages of support from around the world, and from throughout Israel. He is looking forward to meeting Israelis and spending time in the country. “I think we find the most worthy cause we can find, and we spend ourselves fully in them. I can’t go

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through life and say the best example I ever set for my kids was years was ago when I was in the army, that the best thing I ever did for my country , for my brothers, for them, was back in the army. The best things I can do to set an example for my kids are in the future and will always be in the future.” Right now, that means volunteering to help Israel’s army and standing side by side with those in Israel who are fighting the terrorism that threatens both Israel and the United States. Mast says he’d like to run for Congress in the near future. “I want to leave a legacy of standing up for

freedom and justice, and what’s right. Life isn’t about best eking out our minutes, it’s about making our communities, our families, our world the best we can.” Looking back over the past few years, Brian looks at all the positive things in his life instead of the negative. So many people have helped and supported him since his return from Afghanistan, he feels driven to pay society forward and help in any way he can. “Hopefully we can all affect people in positive ways,” Mast concludes. In the first weeks of 2015, that means for one American hero, doing all he can to connect with and contribute to the Jewish State.

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An open letter to the family of an upcoming simcha:

Most of your friends are missing important pictures! My name is David Friedman from )ULHGPDQ¶V 3hotography. I know that the fact above sounds shocking, but after speaking to thousands of people who have had pictures made at their simchas and seeing samples of thousands of simcha photos, I have seen that most simchas miss important pictures. We all know that missing pictures can wreak havoc in Shulem Bayis and ruin the relationship with family PHPEHUV RI ZKRP LPSRUWDQW SLFWXUHV ZHUHQ¶W WDNen and hope that it does not happen to us. After doing extensive research to find out why such important pictures were missing in such a large percentage of weddings I have found that the main reason was that: Nobody took the time to find out what pictures were important to you until after the simcha when it was already too late, and just like everything in life no picture can be taken for granted if it was not discussed. )ULHGPDQ¶V 3hotography, which is the studio I founded Bezras Hashem, has been around doing quality photography since 1988. We have the expertise and knowledge which has been built up by serving the community for close to 30 years, and with this background I personally guarantee that any picture that you dream of will be taken at your simcha. We have used our experience to put together a formula to make sure that every person that hires us will receive 100% full coverage of all their dream pictures at any simcha and to offer our 100% Full coverage guarantee.

100% Full coverage guarantee We guarantee that any picture that you dream of will be taken at the simcha How does it work? After you book )ULHGPDQ¶V SKRWRJUDSK\ for your simcha you will QHHG WR VFKHGXOH RXU XQLTXH ³Discuss Your Dreams´ SUH simcha consultation. We recommend that anyone you want to satisfy with pictures of your simcha should be at the consultation including: Chosen, Kallah, both sets of parents, or bar mitzvah boy & any sibling, grandparent, aunt etc. that you would want to satisfy with the pictures. At the ³Discuss <RXU 'UHDPV´ consultation, you will meet with a photography expert- an expert in what is available in photography- where the photography expert will explain to you what is available based on the plan you chose and what is the most popular while listening to you with the goal of helping you to clarify your dreams, needs, and wants. The photography expert will help you clearly state what you want and that will save you a lot of headaches trying to figure it on your own. You will also be spared the aggravation of not getting the pictures that were important to you when the simcha is over.

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Call right away 718-43-PHOTO (718-437-4686) to book your simcha photography with full coverage. Thank You for your time, 24 www.NyBuzzMagazine.com I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

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by Rabbi Shraga Simmons

Born in a Chinese refugee ghetto, Rabbi Chaim Walkin is today a legendary Jewish educator.

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I

t ranks among the most perilous and extraordinary escapes in Jewish history. In 1939, the small Polish town of Mir, home to one of the world’s premier yeshivas, suddenly came under the ruthless Nazi heel. As borders and alliances shifted, the yeshiva students ÀHG WR QHDUE\ 9LOQD 9LOQLXV /LWKXDQLD – only to become ensnared again a few months later, this time behind the Iron Curtain of the brutal, anti-religious Communist regime. Mir Yeshiva students in Shanghai, circa 1944. Rabbi Shmuel Walkin is in the center.That’s when the miracle began. Japan – which for years had QR FRQVXODWH LQ /LWKXDQLD ¹ LQ inexplicably sent Sempo Sugihara, a man with a huge heart and unparalleled courage. Sugihara violated explicit Japanese policy and worked non-stop to issue transit visas whereby thousands of Jews – including 300 Mir yeshiva VWXGHQWV ¹ ÀHG DFURVV 5XVVLD RQ WKH

Trans-Siberian Railroad. The month-long exodus ended in Kobe, Japan; in 1943 the students were deported to a Jewish ghetto in Shanghai, China. Homeless. Stateless. Penniless. How would they survive? And what would become of the Torah scholarship? The “solutionâ€? had been orchestrated 10 years earlier, when a wealthy, assimilated Jew named Silas Hardoon had a dream one night about building a full synagogue complex in Shanghai – complete with seating for 250 people, a NLWFKHQ GLQLQJ URRP DQG PLNYHK ULWXDO EDWK Inexplicably, Hardoon built such a synagogue... which sat unused... until WKH 0LU <HVKLYD DUULYHG WR ÂżQG WKH perfect, predestined home. American Boy It was amidst this “Shanghai Miracleâ€? that Chaim Walkin was born. Chaim was a scion of a line of great

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29

rabbis. His father, Rabbi Shmuel Walkin, a student of the legendary Polish rabbi known as the Chafetz Chaim, became a leader of the Shanghai Jewish refugees. Torah scholarship thrived in Shanghai. “As low as the KXPDQLWDULDQ VLWXDWLRQ ZDV WKH 7RUDK Ă€RXULVKHG LQ WKH face of adversity,â€? Rabbi Walkin told Aish.com from his home in Jerusalem. “They had nothing else but Torah and it produced a golden era.â€? Shanghai was but a temporary transit stop. In 1946, in the wake of a calamitous world war, the refugees departed for American and Israeli shores. The Walkins settled in New York, where young Chaim combined innate American sensibilities with premier Torah scholarship. It was this pairing of ingredients that molded him into one of the world’s most respected Jewish educators. Chaim was eight years old when he received American citizenship. “My mother gave me special clothes to wear that day to the courthouse,â€? he recalls. “To coax me to keep the clothes clean, she said: ‘You never know who might be taking pictures.’ The next day our neighbor called up and said: ‘Buy the New York Times – Chaim’s photo is on the front page’.â€?

Jerusalem Days After his marriage in 1967, Rabbi Walkin made aliyah and reunited with a remnant of Shanghai – the nowĂ€RXULVKLQJ 0LU <HVKLYD LQ -HUXVDOHP Rabbi Walkin recalls how the yeshiva’s dean, Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz, expressed intense care and concern for every Jew. “During the 1973 Yom Kippur War, he got up and accosted the yeshiva students: ‘If you slept soundly last night, you are cruel! How can you sleep when mothers are anxiously awaiting news of their sons on the front? We must have compassion!’â€? When Rabbi Shmulevitz would see an Israeli soldier, “he would stand and look at him in awe,â€? recalls Rabbi Walkin, who instills in his students the importance of “sharing the burdenâ€? – by studying Torah with greater intensity and showing appreciation for Israeli soldiers. “They’re risking their lives for us,â€? he says. “Showing gratitude and respect is the minimum we should do.â€? ,W ZDV DW WKH 0LU <HVKLYD WKDW 5DEEL :DONLQ ÂżUVW PHW Rabbi Noah Weinberg. In 1974, when Aish HaTorah opened in the Old City of Jerusalem, Rabbi Weinberg tapped Rabbi Walkin to be the advanced-level Talmud instructor. “Rav Noach was once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon who gave everything for the Jewish people,â€? Rabbi Walkin says. “My days at Aish were of a unique and lofty caliber. I worked with energetic, idealistic young men. I envied their thirst for truth. They taught me to reevaluate the importance and meaning of Torah.â€? Since 1989, Rabbi Walkin has been dean of students at WKH $WHUHV <LVUDHO <HVKLYD LQ WKH %D\LW 9HÂśJDQ QHLJKERUKRRG of Jerusalem.

Tranquil Home Rabbi Walkin is a sought-after speaker on the topic of education, and his series of essays, The World Within, is regarded as a contemporary classic. Why do so many people today seem emotionally fragile, and what is the most important advice for parents trying to raise children with healthy self-esteem? “Unfortunately, many people today are living for the approval of others,â€? Rabbi Walkin says. “The Jewish DSSURDFK LV WKDW D FKLOGÂśV VHOI FRQÂżGHQFH FRPHV IURP an awareness that he is a unique, once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. I am vehemently against imitation. There’s an old saying: ‘Don’t wear borrowed clothes.’ Everyone needs to be nurtured and empowered to be an original individual. There is nothing more imperative for a child than to be proud of himself. Accept no imitations!â€? How do parents create a supportive home environment? “My mother spent time in the home of the Chafetz Chaim, where she witnessed an incredible degree of tranquility. They had their share of problems: personal

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WUDJHG\ ÂżQDQFLDO FKDOOHQJHV DQWL 6HPLWLVP %XW QRWKLQJ negatively affected the house. The Chafetz Chaim’s home was always pleasant and positive.â€? How do we inspire children today to live as proud Jews? “People are looking for inspiration in genuine, honest, higher values,â€? Rabbi Walkin says. “That’s why it’s FUXFLDO IRU REVHUYDQW -HZV WR DFW ZLWK GLJQLÂżHG HWKLFDO behavior. It starts with business integrity and extends to all LQWHUSHUVRQDO FRQWDFW :KHWKHU JRLQJ WR WKH SRVW RIÂżFH RU riding the bus, every observant Jew is a Torah ambassador. It’s up to us.â€? Rabbi Walkin recalls a recent experience travelling by train in France. “When the conductor came around to collect payment, a man came from a few rows up, held out his credit card and offered to pay for my ticket. I asked him, ‘Are you Jewish?’ He said: ‘No, but I am impressed by your dignity’.â€? Rabbi Walkin adds: “If only we’d be aware of our power to positively affect others!â€?

Full Circle In 2014 – some 70 years after leaving Shanghai – Rabbi Walkin led a delegation of former refugees to visit the Shanghai Jewish Refugee Museum and meet with local RIÂżFLDOV WR VD\ ÂłWKDQN \RX ´ The city was nothing like the way he left it. Shanghai in the 1940s was largely a run-down, primitive hovel, a paradigm of poverty where Chinese people were OLWHUDOO\ G\LQJ LQ WKH VWUHHWV 7RGD\ LW LV D JOREDO ÂżQDQFLDO center and one of the largest cities in the world. Rabbi Walkin recalls a prophetic moment: “In 1946, before the Mir Yeshiva left Shanghai, there was a farewell party where the Jews thanked the local population for being such good hosts. The rabbis blessed the people that – due

WR WKHLU NLQGQHVV Âą 6KDQJKDL VKRXOG Ă€RXULVK DQG SURVSHU ´ Thinking back to the homeless, penniless Jewish refugees who arrived some 70 years ago, Rabbi Walkin exudes pure gratitude. “All the Torah emanating from the Mir Yeshivas today – tens of thousands of students – is thanks to these kind-hearted people. They helped save Judaism. “

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by Slovie Jungreis-Wolff

My son emailed me a clip from ESPN titled “Danny’s Day” that touched me deeply. Danny Keefe, 7, is a high school football team water coach. Little Danny calls out, “Do you need a water?” But it is very difficult to understand his words. Danny had a brain bleed after birth and suffers from apraxia, a miscommunication between the brain and muscles in the mouth. His father shares that the doctors were extremely pessimistic about Danny’s prognosis. “They said ‘whatever you do, don’t expect much. He may never walk. He may never talk.’” Danny defied the odds. He has not only come to love life, he loves to dress colorfully as well. Since the age of two Danny insists on wearing a button down shirt, jacket, tie and often a fedora. In school, kids have made fun of Danny and bullied him. They could not understand his words; they could not understand his attire. “Hey, listen

to this kid, he’s speaking Chinese!” they mocked. Danny’s mother cries as she describes his request to bring a world globe to school to show that he really does come from the same country. Danny is eager to make friends but kids in school have acted in hurtful ways. They took off Danny’s hat and threw it into the mulch and then they threw mulch on his hair. Danny looks into the camera and says that this made him feel very sad. Danny’s older brother Tim and his best friend, Tommy Cooney, play on the Bridgewater Badgers. Tommy is team quarterback. When he heard about the bullying Tommy decided to do something to boost Danny’s spirits. He got his football teammates and friends to declare ‘Danny Appreciation Day’. They dressed like Danny, wearing suits and hats and cheered his name, “Danny, Danny!” A fire truck came to pick Danny up and brought him to their school. The boys surrounded

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him with friendship; played football with him. When asked why they did this, Tim and Tommy responded: “To show that he’s a person too. He may dress differently or talk differently but he has feelings.” Danny describes the moment as “The most best day.” The story went viral. Danny and Tommy were interviewed on TV. Tom Brady offered them tickets to the Patriots season finale commenting that we can all learn from the way these boys stuck up for their friend. One year later Danny is described as happy, feeling confident and still enjoying his job as water coach. We all want to raise such kind kids who take a stand against bullying and show incredible compassion. Are we succeeding? Why does it sometimes seem as if we are surrounded by selfish, self-absorbed kids? The Message at Home A group at the Harvard Graduate School of Education led by Dr.

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Richard Weissbourd released the following information based on a study they conducted: About 80% of the youth in the study said that their parents were more concerned with their achievements or happiness than whether they cared for others. The interviewees were also three times more likely to agree with the statement that ‘my parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.’ Parents may believe that they’re sending the right message but only 20% of kids interviewed felt that their parents genuinely believe that caring for others is a greater priority than acquiring happiness or achievements. We are sending our children a mixed message: Yes, we want to raise moral and kind kids, but a successful, happy child is the real goal. Perhaps we’ve become too consumed with our children’s accomplishments, neglecting the responsibility we have to mold them into more compassionate beings. In a world where there is great pressure to perform, maintain a high grade average, and join after school activities and sports teams, where does kindness fit in? In our selfie society, how can we help them refocus on the needs and feelings of others? Dr. Weissbourd and his team (Making Caring Common) recommend the following five tips to raise moral, caring children: Make caring for others a priority. Help children balance their needs with the needs of others. Provide opportunities for children to practice caring and gratitude. Daily repetition makes caring second nature. Expand your child’s circle of concern. Challenge your child to learn to care about someone outside his circle. Be a strong moral role model and mentor. This means that parents practice being caring, honest and fair. We demonstrate how we want our children to live with others. Guide children to manage

destructive feelings. Dr. Weissbourd points out that our ability to care for others is often overwhelmed by negative feelings like shame, envy or anger. We need to help our children learn how to cope with these feelings productively.

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Here are some added strategies I suggest to help our children grow kinder: 1. Have you stressed grades and achievements over character? This includes our emphasizing a child’s need to be happy. Many parents have told me “the main thing is my kid’s happy.” What about our child’s need to grow into a kinder human being? Pay attention to your child’s interactions and how he treats others. Look beyond test scores, trophies and accomplishments. Happiness cannot be acquired at the expense of a child’s soul. 2. Demonstrate Gratitude Selfishness grows when we have eyes only for ourselves. Children can live in a home for years and hardly hear parents express appreciation to one another. Making dinner, driving carpool, taking out the trash, food shopping, providing for clothing and family vacations should never be taken for granted. Just because we are ‘supposed’ to fill certain roles does not mean that we can take each other for granted. When children see us appreciating each other they

understand that caring is a normal part of family life. 3. Don’t Feed Arrogance When kids dispose of friends easily or ignore invitations to birthday parties and sleepovers because the other child is unpopular and presumed to be a ‘loser,’ arrogance grows. Food servers, housekeepers, babysitters, bus drivers and doormen are examples of people who interact with our children almost daily but are often allowed to be treated shabbily; their feelings overlooked. Children should never assume that it’s ok to be unkind. The same applies to the way parents and other family members are treated. We should expect respectful tones and actions. An environment where parents are deemed annoying but convenient is a home that breeds chutzpah-disrespect. And in a place of insolence, empathy cannot flourish. Kindness does not come automatically. A child may possess a compassionate character but without daily interactions and role models the sensitive spark within will dim. It is up to us to nourish our children’s souls and teach them that there is a world beyond high grades and achievements. This is the world where we can touch another, lift their spirits and allow them to soar. How much greater we will be as we soar along with them. Click on the video below to watch “Danny’s Day”

41

Stand Up to Stress! Hello Everyone, As we get older, we need to consider taking care of our joints. We worry about our hearts, our hormones, our digestion, our backs, but we tend to neglect our joints..... that is until it’s too late! That is why I’m addressing this very important issue today. We spend our whole lives bending onto our knees, putting knapsacks over our shoulders, and using our hands with all those SUHFLRXV ÀQJHU MRLQWV And what about all those times we twisted our ankles? It is from all the years of stress and strain that our joints have served us and enabled us to do important tasks so we could get our jobs done that they start to wear down. If not taken care of, they could become arthritic (if not already.). Why does arthritis develop in the joints? The answer comes in one popular word: ,Qà DPPDWLRQ ,Qà DPPDWLRQ FDQ FRPH IURP PDQ\ reasons however in discussing the joint, there are two main possibilities. 1. Excessive wear and tear of the joint. 2. Dietary indiscretions which create DQ RYHUDOO VWDWH RI LQà DPPDWLRQ LQ \RXU body. ,Qà DPPDWLRQ FDQ ZHDU GRZQ WKH cartilage in the joint. (The cartilage is like a cushion that SURWHFWV WKH MRLQW DQG DOORZV à H[LELOLW\ RI movement.)

When the cartilage wears down then you have a condition of bone on bone. This leads to irritation of the joint and inability to Ă H[ DQG H[WHQG LQFUHDVH ERQH VL]H GXH WR excess calcium in the joint, and of course pain which can be very severe at times. Did you ever see someone who would develop pain in their joints a day or two before a heavy rain or snowstorm? I used to think that this came from the humidity of the storm. Research has now shown differently. If it was the humidity, then the pain would be worse during the storm. But it is usually before the storm that they feel the pain. This is due to the increase in EDURPHWULF SUHVVXUH WKDW LQĂ DPHV WKH joints due to excessive pressure. Our goal here is to remove their weather predicting capability so that their joints will no longer suffer increased LQĂ DPPDWLRQ GXULQJ WKHVH WLPHV Here’s a few ideas on how you can take good care of your joints: 1. Reduce sugar and excess carbs from your diet. (You’ve heard this before) For two years now, this overweight gentleman has been asking me what to do to lose weight. “When I tell him to stop eating cookies and cake he says to me: Besides that, what else can I do to lose weight?â€? Bottom line. This is a well known VFLHQWLĂ€F IDFW ,QFUHDVHG FDUEV ZLOO LQFUHDVH \RXU ERG\¡V LQĂ DPPDWRU\ pathways which will have a direct effect on your joints (as well as other parts of your body..) 2. Eat plenty of foods containing omega 3 fatty acids.

7KHVH IRRGV LQFOXGH à D[ ZDOQXWV FKLD VHHGV FRFRQXW RLO DQG \RXU ÀVK RLOV +HUH LV D OLVW RI VSHFLÀF MRLQW KHDOWK\ supplements: Vitamin C (1,000 mgs a day) Vit B6 (10-20 mgs) Vit E (100 units a day) Vit D (according to your bloodwork. Vit D is not water absorbable so it can become toxic at high doses. Consult your doctor here) $QWL include:

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Calcium Resveratrol (grape seed extract) Curcumin Boswellia Ginger Green Tea Glucosamine and Chondroitin Licorice (no, not the candy) You can get supplements today that contain many high quality antioxidants in one supplement so you don’t have to take 20 different pills. Do your research. Check the dosage. Make sure you’re getting a high enough dose. And last, make sure your supplements are of good quality. One last word is don’t forget to incorporate exercise into your health regiment. 7KHUH DUH MRLQW VSHFLÀF H[HUFLVHV ,I you are a patient, I will show them to you GXULQJ \RXU QH[W RIÀFH YLVLW 2WKHUZLVH I am planning to produce a dvd series of exercises for you to take home. Please let me know if you have any questions about this or any other health

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NATIONAL

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HOTEL NAME LOCATION

PESACH TIME TOURS

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732-370-7777

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RATING

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HECSHER

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PRICE

4

1,2,3

-----

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NON

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JOIN US IN OUR NEW LOCATION! "THE HUDSON VALLEY RESORT" The Mandel Family Presents

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O 10th Our exc exciting year!

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RABBIRABBI YISROEL YISROEL ROLL L ROLL

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~ Rabbi Avi A Ju Juravel, rav vell, Rav

c Rab abb bi Shlomo Shl hlom mo Hyma ~ Day camp run by Rabbi Hyman of Englewood

~ Entire hotel Ko Kosher osher L’ LL’Pesach Pesach

~ Daf Yomi Y Yomi,, Shiurim and lec lectures cture es by not noted Rabbonim eakers & spe speakers

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PRICE

5

1,2,4.

-----

BOTH

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PASSOVER P ASSSSSSO A O VER V ER 2015 201 2 15 PA OV 01 Booky Bo B ook y and and Leah Leah welcome we welcome you yyo ou to to ky Non Gebrokts

Fort Lauderdale Marriott Coral Springs,, florida fflor l rida da

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Centrally located a ffor fo or r Chol Hamoed day da ay t trips trips and activities

Morikami M orik rika ami Museum ami Muse useu um a an and nd Ja nd Jap Japanese pan anese ane se Ga Gard Gar Gardens dens n

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Yaakov SHWEKEY

pesach 5775

Avraham FRIED

Friday, y April p 3 – Saturday, April 11, 2015

S T A M F O R D H I L T O N Stamford, d, CT Yoely GREENFELD

DAY CAMP 3 MEGA CONCERTS UĂŠ Â˜ĂŒÂˆĂ€iĂŠ ÂœĂŒiÂ?ĂŠ Ă?VÂ?Ă•ĂƒÂˆĂ›iĂŠĂŒÂœĂŠ >ĂŒiĂœ>ĂžĂƒ UĂŠ*Ă€ÂˆĂ›>ĂŒiĂŠ-i`iÀÊ,ÂœÂœÂ“Ăƒ UĂŠ-Â…>LLÂœĂƒĂŠÂŽiÞÊÂ?ÂœVÂŽĂƒĂŠ>˜`ĂŠiÂ?iĂ›>ĂŒÂœĂ€Ăƒ UĂŠ ˜`ÂœÂœĂ€ĂŠÂŤÂœÂœÂ?]ĂŠ >VĂ•ââÂˆĂŠEĂŠwĂŒÂ˜iĂƒĂƒĂŠViÂ˜ĂŒiĂ€ UĂŠ7>Â?Žˆ˜}ĂŠÂŤ>ĂŒÂ…ĂƒĂŠ>˜`ĂŠĂŒiÂ˜Â˜ÂˆĂƒĂŠVÂœĂ•Ă€ĂŒĂƒ

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UĂŠ ÂœÂ“ÂŤÂ?ˆ“iÂ˜ĂŒ>ÀÞʍ>Ă€ÂŽÂˆÂ˜}

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UĂŠ Ă•Ă€ÂœÂŤi>Â˜ĂŠ7>ÂˆĂŒi`ĂŠ Ă€i>ÂŽv>ĂƒĂŒĂŠ-iĂ€Ă›ÂˆViĂŠĂŠ UĂŠ iÂ?iVĂŒ>LÂ?iĂŠ ˆ``Ă•ĂƒÂ…ÂˆÂ“ĂŠ

UĂŠ7ˆwĂŠĂŒÂ…Ă€ÂœĂ•}Â…ÂœĂ•ĂŒ UĂŠ{xĂŠÂ“ÂˆÂ?iĂƒĂŠvĂ€ÂœÂ“ĂŠ Ă€ÂœÂœÂŽÂ?ĂžÂ˜]ĂŠ >˜…>ĂŒĂŒ>Â˜ĂŠ>˜`ĂŠxĂŠĂŒÂœĂœÂ˜Ăƒ

1 MEGA CARNIVAL

UĂŠ6>ĂƒĂŒĂŠĂƒiÂ?iVĂŒÂˆÂœÂ˜ĂŠÂœvĂŠĂœÂˆÂ˜iĂƒ The Shidduch Division of Gateways

FEATURING GATEWAYS SHADCHANIM:

UĂŠĂ“{ĂŠÂ…ÂœĂ•Ă€ĂŠĂŒi>ĂŠĂ€ÂœÂœÂ“ĂŠ UĂŠ-…“ÕÀ>…Ê“>ĂŒâ>]ĂŠÂ˜ÂœÂ˜ĂŠ}iLĂ€ÂœÂŽĂŒĂƒĂŠ

9ÂˆĂƒĂ€>iÂ?ĂŠ­ Ă€i``ގÊ Ă€Âˆi`“>Â˜ĂŠUĂŠ >Ăž}iĂŠ,Ă•`“>Â˜ĂŠUĂŠ UĂŠ Â…ÂœÂ?ÂœĂ›ĂŠ9ÂˆĂƒĂ€ÂœiÂ?ĂŠEĂŠ Â…>ĂƒÂˆ`ÂˆĂƒÂ…iĂŠ-Â…iVÂ…ÂˆĂŒ> />““ÞÊ-VÂ…ĂœiLiÂ?

World Renowned Speakers | TWO SIMULTANEOUS TRACKS OF NEW PRESENTATIONS

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The Brownstone Divisions the david h. & carol feinberg leadership center

The Brownstone Experience is a collegiate and young professional leadership center that enables and encourages future Jewish leaders to shape their own unique Jewish identities, lead active Jewish lives and become empowered leaders committed to serving their Jewish Community.

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The Collegiate Division Students from campuses across the United States and abroad

The Russian Initiative Young adults of Russian Origin

Community Wide Change Systems Israeli Division A warm inviting NY home for young Israelis

Young Professionals Division Serious, passionate, Jewish New Yorkers

AskTheRabbi.org is an innovative A pportal that enables you to inquire learn about le abboutt your your heritage heritita heri her it itag andd learn over the web. An international team of scholars and educators answer hundreds of questions daily on a broad range of topics. C Connections, the matchmaking division m of Gateways employs a team of talented, sensitive and energetic matchmakers who work day and night connecting couples and following up on every date with a call, to discuss, advise and provide encouragement to participants.

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THE SCHECHTER FAMILY PRESENTS...

FIRST CHILD FREE!

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Our 20th spectacular year! Directly on the beach Oversized NEWLY RENOVATED rooms many with terraces Poolside fitness center with sauna & steam room Superb day camp program Private seder rooms available Gourmet glatt kosher cuisine with renowned Chef Andy Serano Cantor led or private seders Sumptuous “Tea Room” Top name entertainment Trips to major attractions Golf, tennis, watersports nearby Poolside BBQ’s Olympic-size pool + kids pool Daily services, shiurim, lectures Scholar-in-Residence Program

FOR RESERVATIONS CALL CARIBBEAN KOSHER TOURS:

1-800-327-8165 marcopolopassover@gmail.com

Call Joy of AMIT Children 19201 COLLINS AVE., MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA www.MarcoPoloBeachResort.com

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:LQWHU 5HFL SHV Winter has set in all over the country with unusually cold temperatures. For me this means extra coffee and hot cocoa but lots of comforting meals too. I’m happy to try new recipes and rediscover old favorites on rainy days. Here are a few keepers. They’re great and well worth keeping in your files to make over and over again, and they are make-ahead meals that keep well in the refrigerator for days. Reheat them covered in a low heat oven (about 250 degrees) for 30 minutes.

:LQWHU &RXVFRXV ZLWK 'ULHG &UDQEHUULHV &DVKHZV DQG 2UDQJH Serves 4 This couscous goes with any winter meal from roast chicken to the two included here, to grilled fish. The citrus adds flavor and warmth to the dish and the dried fruit is a hint of sweetness to the comforting and filling side dish. Can be doubled. ž cup couscous 1 cup chicken broth, vegetable broth or water Kosher salt to taste Grated zest of ½ orange 2 tablespoons orange juice 1 teaspoon maple syrup 1 tablespoon olive oil 1/3 cup dried cranberries or craisins 1/3 cup roasted cashews, coarsely chopped (or other

toasted nut of your choice) 2 scallions, sliced thin Put the couscous in a medium bowl. Set aside. In a small saucepan, bring the broth to a boil over high heat. Pour it over the couscous. Tightly cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let stand, undisturbed until the couscous is tender and flaky, about 5 minutes. Gently fluff the couscous with a fork. In a small bowl, whisk together the zest, orange juice, maple syrup and oil. Season with salt and pepper. Pour the dressing over the warm couscous. Add the cranberries, nuts, and scallions and toss again. Serve warm or at room temperature.

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:LQWHU +XQJDULDQ &KLFNHQ Serves 8 – 10 1 teaspoon canola oil 4 ounces kielbasa, chopped (hot dog or Italian sausage can be a substitute) 2 onions, sliced 1 red pepper, diced 2 heaping tablespoons sweet Hungarian paprika 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon tomato paste 1 cup chicken broth ½ cup celery and leaves, chopped 10 chicken breast halves, on the bone, skin on ¼ cup flour 1 cup tofutti sour cream Kosher salt to taste In a large skillet, heat 1 teaspoon canola oil. Add kielbasa and cooked until slightly browned all over, about 5 – 7 minutes. Add onions and pepper to skillet and cook until the onion is soft and lightly browned, about 7 more minutes. Remove from heat and add the paprika, garlic and tomato paste. When fully incorporated add broth and celery. Add chicken to the skillet, cover and simmer slowly over medium low heat, basting occasionally with the sauce. After 30 minutes, turn chicken pieces over, cover, and simmer until the chicken is tender, about 45 minutes more. Remove chicken from the skillet. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour and tofutti sour cream until smooth. Then add it to the sauce and mix it in. Keep the sauce warm but not boiling and add kosher salt to taste. Return chicken to sauce. Serve with rice or noodles.

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:LQWHU :LQH %UDLVHG 6KRUW 5LEV Serves 8 This recipe works for a French roast or any other thick cut roasts. Follow the same instructions but you may need to cook it a little longer to cook the roast through. Use a cooking thermometer to check doneness (145 degrees for medium rare, 165-170 for well done). Note: if you don’t like to cook with fresh herbs, use 2 teaspoons dried thyme, 1 teaspoon sage, 1 teaspoon rosemary, and ½ teaspoon oregano in place of the fresh herbs. 12 bone-in beef short ribs Kosher salt and coarse black pepper 4 to 5 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 carrots, chopped 2 ribs celery with leafy tops, chopped 2 onions, chopped 2 to 3 tablespoons flour 2 tablespoons tomato paste One 750-milliliter bottle port, Bordeaux, or Cabernet 1 quart beef stock 1 cup pomegranate juice 10 to 12 sprigs fresh thyme 8 to 10 fresh sage leaves Four 5 to 6-inch-long stems fresh rosemary 2 to 3 stems fresh marjoram or fresh oregano 1 head garlic, halved horizontally 1 small handful fresh flat-leaf parsley, plus 3 tablespoons

chopped, for garnish Pomegranate seeds, for garnish, optional Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Pat the meat dry and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat and brown the meat well on all sides in 2 batches. Transfer the short ribs to a plate. Drain off the fat from the pot and add the remaining oil. Add the carrots, celery and onions and cook until softened, 6 to 7 minutes. Stir in the flour 1 minute, then add the tomato paste and continue stirring until fragrant. Pour in the port/wine and return the ribs to the pot. Bring to boil, then lower to a simmer and reduce the port by half, about 30 minutes. Stir in the stock, pomegranate juice, thyme, sage, rosemary, marjoram, garlic and the handful of parsley. Return to a boil, then cover and place in the oven, 2 hours 30 minutes. Transfer the beef to a platter and strain the sauce. Return the sauce to the heat to reduce and thicken a bit. Season the sauce with salt and pepper. Serve the ribs with the sauce. Top with pomegranate seeds.

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:LQWHU &LQQDPRQ $SSOH 3HFDQ %UHDG 3XGGLQJ Serves 8 4 tablespoons (½ stick) unsalted margarine 1 loaf cinnamon raisin bread torn into bite-size pieces (if you cannot find this, use a challah, torn, into pieces, and add 1 teaspoon cinnamon and ¼ cup raisins to batter) ½ cup brown sugar, packed ½ cup pecan halves Zest and juice of 1 large orange ¼ cup apple cider 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 8 small baking apples (about 2 pounds) such as Granny Smith, peeled, cored and thinly sliced FXS FKHUU\ RU EODFNEHUU\ MDP

Melt margarine in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the bread and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, or until well coated. Add the sugar, pecans, orange zest and juice, cider, and vanilla extract (add cinnamon and raisins, if using a challah instead of cinnamon raisin bread). Cook an additional 2 to 3 minutes until a sauce begins to form. In a 9 x 13-inch baking dish, layer the bread mixture with the apples and dot the top with the jam or jelly, beginning with bread mixture, apples, then bread and more apples. Top with jam. Bake 30 to 40 minutes, or until bubbly. Serve with pareve ice cream, whipped cream or caramel sauce.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

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