Flatbush & Five Towns Buzz September 7 2014

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Volume 2, Issue 25

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I

n last week’s Parsha, Parshas Ki Seitzai, we found two of the fourteen positive commandments one could violate when speaking Lashon Hora. Clearly, the Torah is reminding us to pay special regard to Shmiras HaLashon prior to the Yomim Noraim.

Chazal (Bava Basra 165A) teach that while only some individuals may be predisposed to arayos (immorality), and more individuals to gezel (thievery), everyone is prone to “Avak Loshon Hora”--which LV GH¿QHG DV PDNLQJ statements or taking action which **lead to, cause, or result in** Loshon Hora.

3. Praising Ploni in front of those who dislike him (this includes his business competitors)--for we all know where this will go.

4. Praising anyone excessively (for you will end up saying--“except for this” or “besides that…” or because the listeners will respond-“why do you praise him so highly? What about....”

5. Praising anyone in public unless: (a) he is known as a Tzaddik, for anyone who tries to attack him will not succeed because of the Tzaddik’s reputation; or (b) you know that the listeners will not disparage him, for they do not know him.

6. A praise that implies D GH¿FLHQF\ ³ZKHQ KH actually does something, he does it properly.”

7. Praise that will result in harm or loss to (or ill will by) the individual spoken about. For instance, “Ploni likes to cook a lot”--and, as a result, riffraff come knocking on his door, looking for meals.

Protecting One’s Speech

The Maharsha (ibid.) explains that while arayos is a sin which most directly relates to the body, and gezel is a sin directly involving money, Avak Loshon Hora is an iniquity impacting most directly upon a person’s soul. Accordingly, the Yetzer Hora is especially focused on Avak Loshon Hora and urges **everyone** to falter here.

In order for us to more fully comprehend the gravity of Avak Loshon Hora, the Sefer Marpeh Loshon (HaRav Raphael Hamburger, Zt’l, p.

29) brings the words of the Shelah HaKadosh: “The Tzaros that have occurred to us since the world’s creation all emanate from Loshon Hora. And behold, with respect to this sin, the Yetzer Hora has to begin with an easier form, so he begins with Avak Loshon Hora.”

Thus, according to the Shelah

HaKadsoh, Avak Loshon Hora is the starting point…for all Tzaros-calamities(!).

Now that we have been introduced to Avak Loshon Hora as being more tempting than even arayos and gezel, as being the sin of the soul and not of the body or the pocketbook, as being the deceitful means by which the Yetzer Hora attacks us--we may pointedly ask ourselves--what is it exactly that I should not be saying or doing?

The Chofetz Chaim (Hilchos Loshon Hora, Chapter 9) provides us with seven statements or expressions of Avak Loshon Hora: 1. “Who would have thought that Ploni (Mr. X) would be where he is today...” The implication to be gleaned is clear.

2. “Don’t talk about Ploni--I don’t want to discuss what happened or what will be with him”. Or saying, “I don’t want to speak about Ploni because I don’t want to speak Loshon Hora.”

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Interestingly, the Chofetz Chaim adds that it is also Avak Loshon Hora to speak about someone in a manner which appears to be Loshon Hora (even though it really is not) so that others suspect him of speaking Loshon Hora. Thus, when speaking in a deprecatory manner about someone, one should explain to them why it is not Loshon Hora.

Two weeks from today will be the ¿UVW GD\ RI 5RVK +DVKDQDK 0DNing a special effort over the next two weeks in areas of Lashon Hora--and especially Avak Lashon Hora--will surely stand in our stead for the coming year! o

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The U.N. in the Sky As Rosh Hashanah fast approaches, we may be experiencing ambivalent feelings.

In truth, the notion of contradictory emotions ϐ Ǥ Fear or Festivity?

As the name implies, the ‘Days of Awe’ inspire a feeling of seriousness and even trepidation.

This reaction corresponds to the nature of this day’s proceedings, as recorded in the Mishnah (Rosh Hashanah 1:2): “On Rosh Hashanah, all of the inhabitants of the earth pass in judgment before Hashem, like ϐ before the shepherd.”

Considering the fact that on this day, our fate is being determined — for life or death, peace or misfortune — it is not surprising that an awesome atmosphere prevails. As such, the joyous Hallel prayer, usually recited on a yom tov, is omitted on this day; as the Gemara explains (Rosh Hashanah 32b), “When the King sits on the throne of justice, with the books of life and death open in front of Him, is it appropriate that Yisrael engage in joyous singing?” ϐ ǡ ǡ ϐ supposed to be celebrated in a joyous fashion like a regular yom tov. The Tur (Orach Chaim sec.

581) enjoins us to eat heartily on the yom tov, to don fresh, festive garments, and to take a haircut right before the day begins. All of this is done to demonstrate

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ϐ that Hashem will perform a miracle, and grant us a favorable judgment.

We seem to be left in a type of quandary: How are we supposed to feel?

This last citation is particularly perplexing for another reason.

Although the Tur expressed a comforting thought, the question arises: How can we be so sure that things will turn out so smoothly? After all, isn’t this a day of judgment, where Hashem scrutinizes man’s deeds to decide on matters of life and death, prosperity and poverty? How can we be so certain of a favorable outcome?

In order to achieve a resolution of these issues, it is necessary to ϐ during Rosh Hashanah.

War Of course, a major part of the day involves the judgment of all individuals, as mentioned above, wherein their fate for the upcoming year is determined. At the same time, however, there is a lot more that transpires in the Heavenly spheres, of which we may not have been previously aware. In Ha’amek Davar (Vayikra, 16:29), and Harcheiv Davar (ibid.,

23:24), the Netziv portrays the goings-on of this day.

As has been elaborated upon previously in these pages (see Mishnas Chayim, parshas Acharei, 5768), the nations of the world are each equipped with a sar, which is Ǯ ϐ ǯ for the advancement of his nation.

The state and affairs of any given nation on earth are intertwined with the positioning and activities of its representative in shamayim (e.g., the Persian/Iranian sar in the Heavenly Abode is apparently making a lot of noise). Only one nation does not have an angelic ‘ambassador’ amongst the cosmos: the Jewish nation, as the Gemara states (Shabbos 156a), “Ein mazal l’Yisrael (Yisrael has no representative celestial guardian; their affairs are handled directly

by Hashem Himself).”

The ‘Ein mazal l’Yisrael’ concept carries with it some serious ϐ Ǥ

described above, whereby Hashem channels His governance of world affairs through the ‘high ϐ ǯ ǡ as teva (literally, nature; i.e., the conduct of the world through a ‘natural’ order). The sarim function as the big ‘machers’ within this system. ‘Ein mazal l’Yisrael’ states that the Jewish people are not a part of this

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‘teva’ operation. Consequently, as far as the nations’ representative sarim are concerned, Yisrael is not supposed to exist. They therefore remain adamantly opposed to Yisrael’s continued existence (often violently so). We see that this sentiment trickles down to their ‘constituents’ here on earth.

a different matter entirely. Here, Hashem has already provided numerous reassurances that no matter what, we will always remain His chosen people, and always continue to survive.

ϐ ǡ however, they are referring to the national din on the Jewish people. We have been promised by HaKadosh Baruch Hu that we will always emerge victorious from the battle waged against us by the celestial sarim in the Heavenly spheres. This reassurance is a true cause for simchah.

In fact, this distinction accounts for the ambivalent feelings manifest on this yom tov. Of The situation comes to a boiling course there is trepidation, as the May we all be zocheh — point each Rosh Hashanah. During personal fate of each individual ǡ ϐ Ǣ ϐ individually and collectively — to all the nations take up the battle decision remains hidden. When a kesivah vachasimah tovah. 0 cry against Yisrael, in an attempt Chazal proclaim that we are to end their existence once and for all. Together, they gang up against the Jewish nation (sound familiar?). They plead their case before the Ribono Shel Olam, charging that the Jewish nation is deserving of only one of two fates: total annihilation, or mass assimilation amongst the nations.

Either way, the end result would be the same: the extinction of the Jewish people, Heaven forefend.

‘Tzvei Dinim’ Deliberations)

(Dual

We have discovered that in actuality, there are two sets of deliberations that occur simultaneously on this Day of Judgment. One relates to the particulars of the personal lives of each individual. The other judgment concerns the Jewish people as a whole: will the Jewish nation continue to survive?

Despite the danger and grimness of the situation, R’ Shlomo Kluger (Chochmas Shlomoh, Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim, 581:4) sounds a positive note, citing a major difference between these two judgments. A positive outcome from the judgment of individuals is by no means guaranteed, as it is mainly dependent on one’s store of personal merits. The second type of din, however, regarding klal Yisrael on a national level, is

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I

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the Ten Commandments -- right up there with belief in G-d and â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t murder.â&#x20AC;? The Talmud regards it as one of the most GLIÂżFXOW PLW]YRW WR SHUIRUP SURSHUO\ Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so special about the mitzvah to honor parents?

Many people think that honoring parents is some kind of payback for all those years of changing diapers and paying for college. Actually, this mitzvah was given to the generation who wandered 40 years in the desert, where God automatically provided everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needs. The parents didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feed their children; they had the manna to eat. The parents didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t provide clothing; the clothes grew with them and never needed washing Nevertheless, it was precisely this generation who stood at Mount Sinai and heard G-d utter, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Honor your father and mother.â&#x20AC;?

We learn from here an amazing thing: This mitzvah honoring parents does not depend on what your parents did

In Judaism, every day is Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day and Fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day. for you, or even whether they were good parents. Rather, we honor parents simply because they gave us the gift of life.

Imagine you were drowning and a stranger came along and saved your life. You would be forever indebted to that person. All the more so we should be grateful to our parents who gave us life.

The Talmud teaches that there are three partners in the formation

of a person: father, mother, and the Almighty. If we have gratitude to our parents for the gift of life, how much more so weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be grateful to G-d for creating and sustaining the entire world

as frequently as possible, depending on the parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needs and childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s schedule.

In general, be sensitive to the fact that parents naturally worry about their children. Try to send a quick email or phone message every day or two. Especially if you are traveling, call to let them know that you arrived safely.

If the parent is old and LQÂżUPHG WKH FKLOG LV responsible to arrange for his care, and must pay for it if the parent cannot afford to do so.

by Rabbi Shraga Simmons

IRU JLYLQJ XV DLU WR EUHDWKH Ă&#x20AC;RZHUV WR smell, and soil to walk on.

By honoring those who brought us into existence, we learn not to take things for granted and develop an appreciation for the kindness of others.

With that introduction, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get to the practical â&#x20AC;&#x153;how toâ&#x20AC;? of honoring parents.

How to Honor There are actually two parts to this mitzvah: Honor your parents (in Hebrew, kibbud av vâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;eim) -- these are the positive â&#x20AC;&#x153;to doâ&#x20AC;? actions Revere your parent (in Hebrew, morah) -- the â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t doâ&#x20AC;? actions. The basic way to honor parents is to care for their needs.

6SHFLÂżFDOO\ WKLV LQFOXGHV EULQJLQJ them food and drink,including helping with meal preparation and grocery shopping assisting them with paying bills, banking, etc. transporting them, e.g. giving a ride to the doctor. When possible, it is preferable for a child to live near the parents, to better care for their needs. There are really no limits to this; the Talmud tells how the great Rabbi Tarfon would bend down to serve as a step-stool for his mother to climb in and out of bed.

Of course, you should never let your parents feel that they are a burden, or that you are assisting only out of obligation.

As a reward for honoring parents, the Torah promises long life. One possible explanation is WKDW WDNLQJ )RU D PRWKHU WKH ÂżUVW ZRUG is zichrona). â&#x20AC;&#x153;My father, alav haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;shalomâ&#x20AC;? -- peace EH XSRQ KLP )RU D PRWKHU WKH ÂżUVW word is alehâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ha).

Once you are married and have children of your own, naming a child after your deceased relatives -- parents, grandparents and other relatives -- is considered an honor for your parents.

The Sefardic custom is to also name after living relatives.

Other ways to posthumously honor a parent include: donating to charity in their memory reciting Kaddish for the ÂżUVW PRQWKV DIWHU GHDWK DQG RQ HDFK yahrtzeit (anniversary of death) saying the Yizkor memorial prayer on Jewish holidays lighting a memorial candle on the yahrtzeit earning Torah on the yahrtzeit In general, raising your level of Jewish commitment (i.e. Torah study and mitzvot) is a great source of merit for your parents, even after they pass away.

Other Relatives There are a number of â&#x20AC;&#x153;secondaryâ&#x20AC;? relatives who a child is also obligated to honor:

Parents should be visited and phoned

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grandparents in-laws step-parents older siblings aunts and uncles ,Q D FDVH RI FRQĂ&#x20AC;LFWLQJ GHPDQGV honoring an actual parent takes precedence.

Also, the obligation to honor these other relatives does not include the aspects of ³DZH DQG UHYHUHQFH´ H J FDOOLQJ E\ ¿UVW name, sitting in their chair, etc.).

Finally, every parent has a deep desire to see their family at peace with one another. Therefore children must be very sensitive to the pain it can cause parents if they are quarrelling with siblings and other relatives.

7KH 'LIÂżFXOW 3DUHQW The reality is, of course, that parents are not perfect. And some parents are objectively problematic. Yet no matter KRZ GLIÂżFXOW D SDUHQWÂśV EHKDYLRU D child is still obligated to show honor and respect. This applies even if a biological parent has abandoned his child. And it applies even if the parent is rude, unpleasant, and an embarrassment.

The Talmud tells the story of a mother who spit in her sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face -- while the son kept his composure and continued to accord her honor.

At the same time, while honoring your parents is a tremendous mitzvah, you also need to be responsible for your own welfare. One is not required to endanger his emotional or physical health for a parent. Therefore, if a child cannot cope with the parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s behavior, he is permitted to keep his distance.

The obligation of the mitzvah, however, still applies. For instance it would still be IRUELGGHQ WR XVH WKH SDUHQWÂśV ÂżUVW QDPH or to contradict him publicly. And it is always appropriate for a child to feel a deep appreciation to a parent for giving him the gift of life.

Of course, all this does not in any way absolve an abusive parent. On the contrary, a parent should not be overly strict with his own honor, and may choose to forgo that honor when appropriate.

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Children are precious gems that are deposited with parents for polishing and ÂżQLVKLQJ 3DUHQWV ZKR IDLO WR EXLOG D warm and loving relationship with their children will pay a heavy price for this negligence.

Divine Paradigm As we mentioned earlier, honoring parents serves as a springboard for the gratitude we should feel toward G-d.

But this issue goes much deeper. The FRPPHQWDWRUV SRLQW RXW WKDW WKH ÂżUVW ÂżYH RI WKH 7HQ &RPPDQGPHQWV L H WKH ÂżUVW tablet) contains mitzvot between man and G-d: donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t serve idols, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take G-dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name in vain, etc., whereas the second tablet contains mitzvot between man and man: donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t murder, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t steal, etc.

Where is the mitzvah to honor oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SDUHQWV" ,Q WKH ÂżUVW VHW RI ÂżYH %HFDXVH from the moment of infancy and beyond, the way a parent acts toward a child forms in the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s consciousness a paradigm for how G-d relates to us.

The primary role of a parent, therefore, is to communicate to the child: You are loved and cherished. You are unique and special, creative and talented. You are cared for and protected.

The most important message a parent can communicate is: â&#x20AC;&#x153;You are not alone in this world.â&#x20AC;? This idea is the foundation of our relationship with * G $ SHUVRQ PD\ ÂżQG WKHPVHOYHV LQ D terrible situation -- illness, poverty, war -- but they can still know that G-d is with them.

If a parent is untrustworthy and uncaring, unusually harsh or permissive, it subconsciously sets into the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind that G-d must somehow be the same. This is an emotional handicap that FDQ EH GLIÂżFXOW WR RYHUFRPH ODWHU LQ OLIH 2QH ÂżQDO WKRXJKW $V VRFLHW\ progresses, there may be a tendency for children to feel â&#x20AC;&#x153;aheadâ&#x20AC;? of their parents.

Sure, kids today are more technologically savvy, and are up on the latest music and fashions. But in Jewish consciousness, parents are to be respected because they are the source of our tradition. In other words, parents not only gave us life in this world, but are the link that connects us to our eternal Jewish heritage. o

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The puzzler’s job is to fill the remainder of the grid with digits –respecting, of course, the three constraints mentioned earlier.

HARD

In each sudoku puzzle, several digits have already been entered (the “givens”); these may not be changed.

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Reb Alter Kaufman Ä&#x2DC;''ĢÄ&#x2019; (grandson of Horav Yaakov Yosef Herman Ä&#x2DC;''ĢÄ&#x2019;/All for the Boss) was a ben torah, tremendous ba'al cheses and hatzolah volunteer. Late Tuesday night, a few weeks ago, R' Alter received a phonecall from a school asking if he can come fix something

4 WAYS TO DONATE

in the building to enable them to open in time the next morning. Never one to turn down someone in need, R' Alter headed over to assist. The ladder he was standing on suddenly cracked..... R' Alter, suffered serious head injuries and was niftar at just 40 years old the following evening...

He left a young almana with 11 yesomim, the oldest a chosson and the youngest not even 2 years old!

Call 24 hours:

732-334-0050 Tax deductible checks can be made payable to "Kaufman Orphan Fund" and mailed to Kaufman Orphan Fund C/o Horav Osher Kalmanowitz Rosh Yeshivas Mir 2024 East Seventh Street Brooklyn NY 11223 t Kaufman Orphan Fund C/o Horav Aharon Zuckerman Rav D'khal Zichron Pinchos 142 Flintlock Drive Lakewood NJ 08701 t Canadian checks should be payable to "Beth Oloth" and mailed to: Kaufman Orphan Fund c/o R' Meir Kaufman 526 Coldstream Avenue Toronto Ontario M6B2K6 t Yoshon: Locker #34 t "MVNOJ Locker #26

kaufmanorphanfund@gmail.com

R' Alter was known as the address for anyone in needWe must help his family in their time of need! Â&#x2122; ÂĄ ¥¢¼² ÂĽÂ&#x2122;¹²¢ ¢¼Â&#x17E;Â&#x153;Â&#x203A; ÂłÂ&#x2122;¢¹° ÂĄ Â&#x153; ÂŤ ²³ Â&#x17E;¼ª¤ ÂŤ ÂŤ ÂĽÂĽÂĽ ¢Â&#x203A;Â&#x2122;¹¥ ¨­Â&#x17E;Â&#x2122;Â&#x161; Â&#x17E;Š³Â&#x2122;§  °¼Š ¢Â&#x203A;¢§ Â?ŠÂ?ŠÂ&#x17E; °Â?Â&#x161;Â&#x17E;§ Œ¢§² Â&#x2122;Âą Â&#x17E; Â&#x17E;Š¢ŠÂ&#x17E;ÂĽÂ Â&#x161; ÂłÂ&#x17E;Â&#x17E;§ Â?ÂĽÂŤ ¢¤ ÂĽÂŤ ÂąÂ&#x161;² ³°Â&#x;Â&#x161; Â&#x17E;ŠŠÂ? ¢ ²§² ³¢Â&#x161; Â?­ Â&#x17E;Š¢³ŠÂ&#x17E;¤² ¢Â&#x161;²Â&#x17E;Âł ¢Â&#x161;Â&#x17E;² § Â&#x153; Â&#x2122; ÂŚÂŞÂąÂ&#x17E;­§ ¢Â? ¹²Â&#x2122; Â? ÂŤ ÂŤ ¨Â&#x2122;§­¢Â&#x17E;° Â?¼¢¼ ¨Â&#x17E;²¢Â&#x2122;Â&#x161; Â&#x153;Â&#x17E;Â&#x153;² ¼­ŠÂ&#x17E; Â?¼Š ¨­ Â&#x161;°¢ Â?²§ ¹³¼Â&#x2122; ¢Â&#x161;Âą  Â?ÂąÂ? Â? Â? Â&#x17E;­¤ Â&#x17E;¢¹ Â&#x2122; ¹¢Â&#x2122;²Â? ÂĽ Â&#x;Â&#x;  Â&#x17E;Š§Â?Â&#x17E; ÂłÂ&#x17E;ŠÂ&#x161;ÂĽ Â&#x17E;Â&#x2122;Â&#x161; Â&#x153;ÂŞÂ ÂŹÂ&#x153;Â&#x17E;ÂąÂ&#x17E; Â&#x153;ÂŞÂ Â&#x161;Â?Â&#x17E;Â&#x2122;¤ Â&#x17E;Š¢¹¢ ¢Â&#x161; ¹Â&#x161; ÂŁÂ&#x17E;Š¢ ³¢Â&#x161;Â&#x161; Â&#x153;Â&#x17E;§¢¼ ÂąÂ&#x153; ³¢¢ŠÂ&#x161;Â&#x161; ªŠ¤Š Â&#x2122;ÂĽ ¨¢¢Â&#x153;ÂŤ ÂąÂ&#x17E;¤Â&#x161;Â? ¹²Â&#x2122; ÂŚ °ª ³ ¢Â&#x153;¼¢ ¹² Â&#x153; Â&#x2122;Â&#x17E; ¢ ³² Â?Â&#x161;Â&#x17E;² Â?Š§¼ Â&#x17E; °¼Â? ÂĽÂŤ Â&#x2122;ÂąÂ&#x17E;ŠÂ? ÂŚÂ&#x161;Â&#x2122;¤ Â&#x153;Â&#x161;¼§Â&#x17E; Â&#x2122; ÂłÂ&#x17E; ŠÂ&#x2122;ÂĽ Â?Š²§Â&#x17E; ¨²§ Â&#x2122;ÂĽÂĽ Â? Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;ÂŤÂ&#x161; ÂŚÂ&#x17E;¢Â&#x161; Â&#x153; ÂŞ Â&#x17E;ÂąÂ&#x2122;²ŠÂ&#x17E; ÂŞÂ&#x161; Œ¢¢°³³² ÂąÂ&#x17E;¤Â&#x161;Â? ¨Â&#x161;Â? ¼² ÂŞ Â&#x17E;³­Â&#x17E; ¢¤¹¯ Â&#x203A;¢²Â?ÂĽ ÂŚÂ?¢¼ Â?­Â&#x17E; ¼ ¹¢Â&#x2122;²Â? Â&#x17E;³¢Â&#x161; ³ªŠ¹­Â&#x161; Œ¢§¢Â? ¼¤ Â?²°³Š ¹²Â&#x2122;  Â&#x17E;Š§Â?Â&#x17E; ÂĄ ÂĽ ÂŤ ÂĽÂĽÂĽ ÂŹÂĄÂ Â&#x161; Œ¢°Â&#x17E;°Â&#x; Â&#x2122;Â&#x161;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2122;ÂĽÂĽ ³¢Â&#x161; ³ªŠ¹­¼² Œ¢Š­ ÂĽÂĽÂŤÂ&#x161;Â? ÂĄÂ&#x161;² Â? ÂĽ £¢¹¯ Â?Â&#x; ¨¢Â&#x2122;Â&#x17E; Œ¢­¼Â&#x2122;ÂĽ ÂłÂ&#x17E;Â&#x161;Â&#x17E; Â&#x17E;¢¹ ¼¤¤ ÂŚÂ&#x153;ÂŤÂŞÂĽÂ&#x17E; Œ¤§³¼ Â?ÂĽÂ&#x17E;ÂĽÂŞÂ? Â&#x2122; ÂŁÂąÂ&#x153;Â&#x161; Œ¢§ Â&#x17E;³¢Â? Â&#x153;¢§Â?ÂĽ ¢Â&#x153;¤Â&#x161; Œ¢¼Â&#x17E;Â&#x153;Â&#x203A; Œ¢§Â&#x17E;¤ª¼

¹²­Â&#x2122;Â? ³Â&#x17E;² ÂĽÂ&#x17E;°¼ Œ¤ŠÂ&#x;Â&#x2122; Â&#x17E;ÂĄÂ? Â?¹¯¼ Œ¢ Â&#x2122; Â&#x2122;ŠÂ&#x2122; Â?ÂĽÂŻÂ?Â? ÂłÂ&#x2122;¢¹° ³¢Â&#x161;Â? ³¼¯Â?ÂĽ Â&#x17E;³¼¤¢ ¢­¤§ ¹³ Â&#x2122;ÂŻÂł ¨Â&#x2122;¤§Â&#x17E; Â&#x17E;¢ Â&#x2122;Â&#x17E; Â&#x2122; ¼¤ Œ¢²Â&#x17E; Â&#x17E;ÂŻÂĽÂ Â?Â&#x17E; Œ¢§Â&#x17E;³¢Â?

Â&#x17E; Â?Š§¼Â&#x2122;Â? ΢ Â&#x161;ÂĽÂ&#x161; ³­¹Â&#x17E;¥§ Â?Š¢­ª¤ ÂłÂ&#x153;Â&#x153;Â&#x17E;Š³§Â? Â&#x161;Â&#x17E; ÂŚÂ&#x2122; Â?ÂąÂ&#x17E;ÂłÂ? ³¤¹Â&#x161;ÂĽ Â?¤Â&#x;¢ Â&#x17E;Â&#x; ² Â? Œ¢§¢Â? ¼¤ Â&#x153;ÂŞÂ Â&#x17E; Â&#x161;Â&#x17E;ÂĄ ÂŁÂ&#x2122; ÂłÂ&#x17E;Â&#x2122;Â?Â&#x161;Â&#x203A;²Š Â?Â&#x17E;¯§ ¨§¼ Â?²§Â?Â&#x17E; Â?²Â&#x17E;ÂŤÂ? ¼¤  ¥Â&#x161;ÂĽÂ&#x17E; ¹¼ £££¼² ÂłÂ&#x2122;  §²§ ¢ŠÂ&#x2122; ¢¼² ÂłÂ&#x2122;  §²§ Â?ÂłÂ&#x2122; Â?Â&#x161;Â&#x203A;²ŠÂ? Â?Â&#x17E;¯§ Â&#x17E;¯§Â? Â&#x153;Â&#x17E;Â&#x161;¤¼  Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;¤Â? Â&#x161;¢¥¢Â? ÂŤÂ&#x17E;Â&#x153;¢¤ Â&#x2122;ÂąÂ&#x17E;ŠÂ&#x17E; ÂŚÂ&#x17E;¢Â&#x2122; Œ² Â?Â&#x161;Âą Â?Â&#x17E;¯§Â&#x17E; ÂŚÂłÂ&#x17E;° Â&#x153;Â&#x17E; ÂŚÂłÂ&#x17E;¢Š Â&#x161;¯§Â? ¢¤ Â&#x17E;Â&#x; Â?²Â&#x17E;Â&#x153;° Â?Â&#x2122;¢¹°Â&#x161; Œ¢­¹¥¯§ Â&#x2122; Â&#x203A;Â&#x203A; Œ¢¢¢ª§Â? ¼¤Â&#x17E; ÂĽ ŠŠÂ? Œ¢ŠÂ&#x161;ÂąÂ? Â&#x161;¯§ ¥¹­Â&#x161;Â&#x17E; ÂĽÂĽÂ Â? ÂĽÂ&#x2122; ΢Â&#x161;Â&#x17E;¹°Â? Œ¢²ŠÂ&#x2122;§ ¢¹Â&#x161;Â&#x153;¤ ³¼Â&#x17E;¤¢Â? ¢­¤§ ¹³Â&#x17E;¢ ÂłÂ&#x17E;²¼Â&#x17E; ÂŚÂ&#x161;ÂĽ ÂłÂ&#x17E;ÂĽÂ&#x2122;²§ ¼¤Â&#x17E; ÂąÂ&#x17E;Â&#x;ÂŤÂĽ § Â? ¼¯Â?Â&#x17E; Â?¤¹Â&#x161; ­²Â&#x161; ¨Â&#x17E;¢¼ ¢­§ Â&#x17E;¤¹Â&#x161;³¢ Â&#x17E;Â&#x; Â?ÂĽÂ&#x17E;Â&#x153;Â&#x203A; Â?Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;¯§¼

" Everyone should undertake AT LEAST $100 but those who can give more should give much more...

In the zchus that we show â&#x20AC;Ť ×?×&#x201D;×&#x2018;ת ×&#x2014; ×&#x201C;â&#x20AC;Źwith them, we'll receive tremendous brachos for us and â&#x20AC;Ť"×&#x201D;ק×&#x2018;"×&#x201D; ×&#x2122;×?×&#x17E;ר ×&#x153;׌ר×&#x2022;×Ş× ×&#x2022; ×&#x201C;×&#x2122;â&#x20AC;Ź Hagoan HoRav Yitzchok Sorotzkin Shlitâ&#x20AC;?a

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39

Car Accidents

in Secular Law and Halacha

By: Rabbi Benjamin G. Kelsen, Esq.

I

have recently had a spate of cases involving individuals who were involved in motor vehicle accidents and then â&#x20AC;&#x153;left the sceneâ&#x20AC;? of the accident. This happens for any number of reasons.

Sometimes, the person becomes afraid for his safety after hitting someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s car. Other times, the person wants to avoid having to take responsibility for his actions. I also frequently hear the â&#x20AC;&#x153;I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know I hit anythingâ&#x20AC;? excuse.

However, it is important that we realize that this is not such a simple matter. For example, according to New Jersey law the potential penalties IRU D ÂżUVW RIIHQVH RI YLRODWLQJ N.J.S.A. 39:4-129(b) (Leaving the scene of accident involving damages to attended vehicle or property) can LQFOXGH ÂżQHV EHWZHHQ and/or imprisonment not exceeding 30 days, suspension of oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s driving privileges for six months from the date of conviction, and DMV and insurance points. For subsequent offenses the repercussions only get more severe.

one must do is stop your vehicle and, if necessary, move it to a safe SRVLWLRQ RXW WKH Ă&#x20AC;RZ RI WUDIÂżF QHDU the location of the accident. The law requires that one stop at the accident scene. One is not permitted to drive several blocks away and then call the

â&#x20AC;&#x153;what are the Halachic implications?

If a person on the driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s side of a car opens his door (into the street) without checking to see if there is any traffic approaching from behind,

am so sorry for hitting youâ&#x20AC;?. If one has a camera in his possession, he should take photos of the damage to the vehicles, the accident scene, and any people involved.

What are the Halachic implications?

If a person on the driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s side of a car opens his door (into the street) without checking to see if there is DQ\ WUDIÂżF DSSURDFKLQJ IURP EHKLQG and a car collides with the door, causing extensive damage, who is liable to pay for the damages - the driver of the car that collided with the door, or the person who opened the door without looking?

In such a case, according to the Halachah, the person who opened the door is liable for the damage.

Tosafos on Maseches Bava Kamma (56a) brings a proof based on the Gemara that in the case of damage police.

WR DQRWKHUÂśV SURSHUW\ E\ ÂżUH WKHUH Once the police are one the scene, is no difference between causing JHW WKH SROLFH RIÂżFHUÂśV QDPH DQG WKH ÂżUH WR VSUHDG WR WKH SURSHUW\ phone number, as well as the police and moving the property closer to report number. When speaking WKH ÂżUH 6R WRR LQ WKLV FDVH RQH with the police or anyone else on who causes the door of a car to be the scene, do not admit fault. Give in the path of an oncoming vehicle So, what should one do if involved details of the accident and cooperate has the responsibility of causing with the police in providing answers in such a situation? the collision. Furthermore, both the to their questions, but do not say â&#x20AC;&#x153;I 2EYLRXVO\ WKH ÂżUVW WKLQJ WKDW Ketzos HaChoshen (319:3) and the

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Nesivos HaMishpat (291:7) write that in the case ofan individual who takes the property of another person and puts it in an unsafe place, if the property becomes damaged or lost, the one who moved the item is liable for the damage.

Following this reasoning, the person who opened the door essentially took it from a “safe place” and “put it” into an unsafe place, and is therefore liable for the damage done to the cars.

As we approach the Yamim Noraim, it is important that we bear in mind that our actions can have repercussions on a variety of levels.

One of my clients, a very nice young woman from a well regarded frum family, is facing the possibility of MDLO EHFDXVH VKH ÀHG WKH VFHQH RI DQ accident where a woman was hurt.

A recent case in front of a Beis Din

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left two lifelong friends in a bitter dispute when one friend sought payment from the other when the latter opened up the rear door of the former’s car into the path of another vehicle. Shortly after picking up the door of the brand new luxury SUV from the street, the owner discovered that neither his insurance nor the driver of the other vehicle’s insurance would cover the damage.

The friend who opened the door into the path of the other vehicle claimed that he was not liable as it was not he who struck the door. As we have seen this is not the case.

Having just left the period of the Bein HaMitzarim, the Three Weeks and Tisha b’Av, we should remember that as members of a larger community, we have responsibilities not only to ourselves, but to the greater population around us. In the coming

weeks, we should try to review our behavior during the past year and make sure that we do not leave any violations of our requirements to one another unaddressed.

May this be a year in which all of us have our Teshuvah accepted and receive the Berachah of a good, prosperous, and sweet year.

Rabbi Benjamin G. Kelsen is a Rav, Dayan and practicing attorney in Teaneck, New Jersey with a legal practice that deals with Criminal and Civil Rights litigation. Rabbi Kelsen also represents clients in residential and commercial real estate transactions, estate planning, personal injury cases, and Commercial litigation matters. He frequently speaks and writes about the convergence of secular law and Halacha. o

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43

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let Us Contemplate... the Holiness of This Dayâ&#x20AC;?

Spiritual Zenith Yom Kippur. The most sublime and holy time of year; the awesome Day of Atonement and Judgment, wherein manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fate is permanently sealed; a day spent in heartfelt prayer and sincere repentance; â&#x20AC;&#x153;a day when eating is forbidden,... drinking is forbidden;... a day wherein You shall pardon us for all of our sins.â&#x20AC;?

(Yom Kippur Mussaf) Rav Shach ztâ&#x20AC;?l. Incessant student of Torah, servant of Hashem, teacher of the multitudes; humble tzaddik and a courageous leader of world Torah -HZU\ UHĂ&#x20AC;HFWLRQ DQG WUDQVPLWWHU of the paths of the spiritual giants (such as the Chafetz Chaim, the Brisker Rav, and many others) whom he encountered over the course of his one-hundred plus years; in short, the quintessential gadol hador.

Imagine if we could be privy to Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s preparations for Yom Kippur. His hallowed mind must have been immersed in exalted thoughts too staggering for us to even contemplate.

Stunningly, an account of Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actual Yom Kippur preparations has recently come to light, through Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shlomo Lorincz, noted askan (community activist).

Emissary of numerous gedolim, especially in his capacity as a religious member of the Knesset, Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Lorincz was privileged to count himself amongst Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s FORVH FRQÂżGDQWV 2QH WLPH 5Âś Shach shared his pre-Yom Kippur UHĂ&#x20AC;HFWLRQV ZLWK KLP What did this gadol think about

to become properly attuned to the spirit of this sublime day? In his sefer Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mechitzasam (p. 336), Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Lorincz reveals the answer: On erev Yom Kippur, Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach harnessed his powers of concentration, and thought about... the Big Bang theory.

With great seriousness, Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach contemplated the theoryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s utter ridiculousness. Science has shown how our planet is perfectly situated to sustain life. Were we a bit closer to the sun, the heat would be unbearable; a bit farther, all would freeze. How could such a precise arrangement result from a mere accidental crash between cosmic materials? And from where did these supposed whirling clouds of gas originate in WKH ÂżUVW SODFH" The miracle of the earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s location is but one of countless examples of the uncanny perfection of our world. Myriad intricacies and complex wonders are apparent in abundance to scientists and laymen alike. Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach concluded that anyone operating with even a minimal amount of sanity and intellectual honesty cannot help but be overawed by the brilliance and beauty of it all, and recognize the open evidence of the Hand of the Creator and Master of the universe.

His acute sense of emunah (faith) thus strengthened even more, Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach was ready to begin the davening.

Why would this gadol choose such an unconventional approach to usher in the holiest day of the year? A closer look at the nature

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of this day may shed some light on Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rationale.

Understanding the Mikvah Parable The Mishnah (Yoma 8:9) states: â&#x20AC;&#x153;The verse states (Yirmiyahu 17:13), â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hashem is the mikvah of Yisrael.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Just as a mikvah SXULÂżHV the ritually unclean, so, too, does HaKadosh Baruch Hu purify Yisrael.â&#x20AC;?

The Maharal (Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;rush lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Shabbos Teshuvah) explains that the Mishnah is revealing the inner workings of the atonement process of Yom Kippur. Why does a mikvah HOLPLQDWH GHÂżOHPHQW" A mikvah is an entirely pristine entity, completely devoid of LPSXULW\ 'HÂżOHPHQW VLPSO\ FDQQRW exist in such an environment.

Consequently, when an impure individual or object is subsumed within the pure waters of the mikvah, the impurity, by default, disappears.

On Yom Kippur, Hashem, in a sense, is the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. He is perfect; completely pure; and the Source of complete sanctity.

Spiritual impurity simply can not exist in the Presence of His unmitigated holiness.

The gift Hashem offers us on this day is atonement. Throughout the year, a person has collected spiritual â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;stainsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; on his soul as the result of sin. By cleaving to Hashemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Essence â&#x20AC;&#x201D; immersing in His â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, if you will â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the spiritual impurity vanishes.

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The issue that remains, however, is being able to achieve this connection with Hashem. In mikvah terms, there is something ZKLFK FDQ SUHYHQW SXULÂżFDWLRQ namely, a chatzitzah (separation).

An individual seeking to be FOHDQVHG IURP KLV GHÂżOHPHQW must be entirely surrounded by the mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purifying waters. If even a tiny area on the individual is blocked from contact with the water, the immersion may be GLVTXDOLÂżHG

Jew is free of chatzitzos, all that remains on his soul are the stains that the sins have created. Now that he has removed the barriers distancing him from his Creator, a Jew can draw near and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;immerseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in Hashemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Presence, thereby achieving complete forgiveness and total atonement.

Perhaps we can now understand Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seemingly novel Yom Kippur preparations a bit better.

Surely, by the time Yom Kippur rolled around, someone of Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; The â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;atonement mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is no Shachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stature had thoroughly different. To attach oneself to IXOÂżOOHG WKH SDUWLFXODUV RI teshuvah +DVKHP D -HZ PXVW ÂżUVW EH IUHH RI for whatever minimal failings he chatzitzos, elements which would may have had on his account pose a division between himself (â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;failingsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; only according to his lofty level, of course). His spiritual state and his Heavenly Father.

PXVW KDYH EHHQ TXLWH UHÂżQHG E\ Sin serves as such a chatzitzah, that time; few chatzitzos existed while teshuvah (repentance) plays between him and His Creator. In the essential role of removing a matter of moments, he would these barriers. After making experience the ultimate cleansing amends for his misdeeds, an process by attaching himself to individual stands ready to complete Hashem. the atonement process. Once a

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And so, as he prepared to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;immerseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in Hashemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach proceeded to remove the last few remaining barriers between his physical body and the Holiness of Hashem, intensifying his emunah to the point that his faith in Hashem would be much greater than mere intellectual knowledge of His existence.

Rather, the gadolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concentration would place him in a state where he could practically feel Hashemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Presence.

This near-tangible awareness of His Presence affords a human being a level of incredible closeness to Hashem, the perfect preparation for total immersion in His â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Mikvahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

Of course, we do not compare to Râ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shach. Yet, we can still strive to follow his example. Through observance of the day, repentance, DQG UHĂ&#x20AC;HFWLQJ RQ +DVKHPÂśV greatness, we, too, can enter the mikvah of atonement. o

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Think you might have a heart defect, or simply want peace of mind? These five tests will help your doctor help you.

EKG An electrocardiogram records electrical activity in your heart and spits out a seismograph-style printout.

Ask your doctor to make sure it’s a 12-lead EKG, which means that EKG leads are used to record heart data from 12 different points on the body.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: This is the equivalent of getting your blood pressure checked. It’s a baseline analysis, typically conducted before proceeding with further tests.

Be skeptical if an EKG isn’t the first thing your cardiologist recommends.

WHERE YOU CAN GET IT: Most every doctor can do one, but your cardiologist is better trained to spot potential warning signs.

WHAT’S INVOLVED: Self-adhesive EKG leads are placed on cer-

MRI tain spots to record heart data.

(FKRFDUGLRJUDP

Magnetic resonance imaging uses electromagnetic energy to generate cross-section images of your heart.

Blasts you with high -frequency acoustic waves to “see” your heart.

Make sure your doctor is using the latest system, which will incorporate real-time 3D imaging technology and pulsed Doppler, both essential for spotting leaky valves.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: Used postheart attack to assess muscle tissue damage. Better for diagnosing structural-type disorders, such as HCM or dilated cardiomyopathy.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: If red flags show up on an EKG, or if HCM is suspected, an echo can refine the diagnosis. HCM: Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (usually is an inherited condition) in which the heart muscle becomes thick. The thickening makes it harder for blood to leave the heart, forcing the heart to work harder to pump blood. Cardiologists usually order both the EKG and echo to be done in a single visit.

WHERE YOU CAN GET IT: At your cardiology clinic or most hospitals.

WHERE YOU CAN GET IT: It’s a hospital outpatient procedure, though larger cardiology clinics just PLJKW VSHQG WKH PRQH\ PLOOLRQ –plus) for an in-house machine.

WHAT’S INVOLVED: If you’re even mildly claustrophobic, get your doctor to prescribe a few Valium to take prior to the procedure, since you have to lie prone and perfectly still for up to two hours in a narrow space. And if you’re sensitive to noise, also bring earplugs, as the machine sounds like a jackhammer. &RURQDU\ &DOFLXP 6FDQ

WHAT’S INVOLVED: Some slimy, viscous goop similar to K-Y jelly is slathered on your chest while the tech slides a probe (transducer) over your heart.

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Fancy imaging software crunches data from a CT scan to render interior views of your coronary arteries. Results are given as a “calcium score.” Depending on age, anything

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above 400 denotes some fairly substantial coronary plaque and would have implications for considering how extreme you’d want to push yourself in terms of exercise.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: Do it as part of an annual physical, or if you’re experiencing symptoms such as shortness of breath, light-headedness, or abnormal fatigue during exercise.

your heart. Using a contrast dye and a camera called a fluoroscope, he’ll snap pictures of your blood, looking for logjams as it gushes through veins and arteries.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: Now. Knowing the condition of your arteries –partially blocked, clear as a newborn’s, hopelessly clogged - is essential, even without symptoms.

WHERE YOU CAN GET IT: A few family doctors (general internists) are equipped to do the test, as are all cardiology clinics.

WHEN YOU NEED IT: Chest pain, shortness of breath, and sudden fatigue all might indicate a blocked artery or other heart trouble. The angio is the only way to know for sure what’s going on.

WHERE YOU GET IT: It’s a hospital outpatient procedure.

WHAT’S INVOLVED: It’s simple and painless. You lie flat on a gurney while a radiology tech slides you into a CT scanner and hold your breath in spurts.Stress Test Even if you’ve never had a single symptom, experts agree that a stress test is a must. You’ll sprint on a treadmill to hit your maximum heart rate while a lab tech records the data from a 12-lead EKG. Paired with an echocardiogram (a stress echo), it’ll catch a number of heart ailments.

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WHAT’S INVOLVED: Get wired up for a EKG, then sprint on a treadmill for about eight minutes or until exhaustion sets in, whichever comes first.

If symptoms persist, and conventional tests do not pinpoint the problem, doctors may prescribe this more involved procedure which is invasive, but decisive: Catheterization Angiogram

WHERE YOU CAN GET IT: It’s a hospital outpatient procedure.

WHAT’S INVOLVED: A potent cocktail of drugs given through an IV ensures you’ll remember very little of the 45-minute procedure. Because of grogginess, you’ll need someone to arrange for a car ride home and to accompany you. Expect a purple bruise and some soreness at the catheter entry point near the groin. o

This requires a trip to the hospital, where you’ll be sedated while your cardiologist threads a catheter through your femoral artery into

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I

t is the ultimate escape. A place ZKHUH DGXOWV ¿QG WKH FKLOG ZLWKLQ and children discover themselves.

It was hard to tell who was more excited on the morning of The Trip.

My granddaughter, Miriam, six (and three-quarters, she reminds me), has for many years created little fantasy worlds of her own. So, the prospect of visiting the supreme Dreamland was beyond description.

And her little brother, Yehuda, three, had no idea what was in store in the

and the marvel permeated every moment of that most extraordinary day.

“NO!” was YOU?!?”

But even at Disney, the sun does set, and twilight now descended on the tens of thousands of euphoric yet very weary visitors.

, GLGQ¶W KDYH KLP $QG WKH YHU\ ¿UVW IHDU that hit me was that someone else did.

At this point, I will let Naftali describe, in his own words, the events that followed: It was after 7 PM and the kids were as exhausted as they were elated. It had been quite a day…truly magical

her

reply.

“DON’T

“YEHUDA,” I screamed!

“YEHUDAAAAAAAAH!” I scanned the sea of faces that surrounded us and suddenly understood so clearly that the next 30 seconds or so might be the most important half minute of my OLIH 0\ PLQG ZDV LQVWDQWO\ ÀRRGHG with a deluge of thoughts of foreboding dread and chilling horror.

Not too far in the distance, my eyes caught sight of a large frightening sign, “EXIT HERE.” Some deranged menace had surely snatched my innocent, helpless, precious bundle and had whisked him off to the tram, the parking lot, and… My mind wouldn’t let me go further.

I charged to the exit and, like a crazed nutcase, asked everyone I passed, “Did you see an adorable little three-year-old boy,” as if there weren’t 20,000 adorable little three-year-olds in Disney. Even the over-friendly, uniformed, Disney service aide, who was guiding people out of the park, just gave me a puzzled shrug and a swift, “Not really.”

province of Mickey and Minnie and Donald, but his intuitive juices told him something very special was awaiting him.

Even Baby Naomi energized than usual.

looked

more

My eldest son Naftali, father of the (adorable) trio, was busy packing the nosh and cameras and the Google map and his anticipation was palpable, as well.

But my vote for most excited went to my daughter-in-law, Layala. Even though I wasn’t joining them, I reveled in imagining Layala immersing herself, from morning to night, in the make believe universe of ultimate charm and creativity. The Florida sun shone brightly that Monday morning and nothing in the world was going to rain on her Disney parade. Or so she thought.

7KH IDPLO\ RI ¿YH ÀRDWHG WKURXJK the magical turnstiles and began their adventure through time, space and imagination. The laughter, the wonder,

and unforgettable. We were headed for the exits, but most of our fellow guests were busily taking their places IRU WKH FHOHEUDWHG QLJKWO\ ¿UHZRUNV extravaganza.

“Should we stay?” asked Layala, more suggesting than really asking.

The kids were beyond tired, and we KDG DOUHDG\ PDGH RXU REOLJDWRU\ ¿QDO restroom and souvenir stops, but parting MXVW VHHPHG VR GLI¿FXOW $V LW WXUQHG out, it wasn’t much of a discussion. I took one tiny step back inside the park and Layala and Miriam were already ahead of me, their eyes sparkling in anticipation. So, with one hand on Naomi’s stroller I reached down with the other to clutch Yehuda and…and… and…he was GONE! I looked left and right and left and right and ahead and behind and…and… he was really gone. Not just lagging behind or spaced out, Yehuda was truly NOWHERE to be found.

“DO YOU HAVE YEHUDA?” I screamed to Layala.

I hustled back to Layala who provided the calm balance that was desperately needed at that moment. She was saying things like, “Let’s not panic,” and, “We should retrace our steps,” but my mind was racing in every other direction.

“I’ve lost my child.”

“It’s my fault. I was supposed to be watching him.”

“I’ll never see Yehuda again.”

I tried to compose myself, but I was immersed in a parent’s worst nightmare.

Layala and I tried to map out some type of strategic plan, but we knew that the seconds were ticking away. It may be a “small world after all,” but it sure is an enormous amusement park, and he could be anywhere.

I decided to return to the nearby restroom which we had just visited, hoping that maybe Yehuda might have somehow lingered there.

“Yehuda,” I called out, as I darted past every single, but empty stall.

“YEHUDA!!! YEHUDA!!!”

No response.

Five or six minutes had gone by and night was descending. Our window of hope was closing fast. Finding him in the dark would be nearly impossible. The thought of the fright that our separated little boy must now be feeling was too much to bear.

And then, as if dropped out of the deep blue sky, he appeared. He was sauntering -- a bit bewildered, not really scared -DQG WU\LQJ WR ¿QG KLV OLWWOH ZD\ “YEHUDA!!” I shrieked.

I whisked my treasure into my arms and squeezed the daylights out of him. I felt all of my blood draining into an oasis of unparalleled relief.

I’m not even sure where he was. He said he was in the bathroom, but I had not seen him there. Who really cares?

He was back and the entire ordeal and excruciating pain, though just six or seven minutes long, was now over.

Is there a pain on this world that is comparable to separation? I think not.

Anyone who has ever experienced the agony that accompanies the detachment from a loved one knows that is not a

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place he ever wants to visit again.

The Jewish people have a very special designation. We are called G-d’s children. And He has created an extraordinary Magic Kingdom for us to amuse ourselves with for 70, 80 years or more. It is called the planet Earth.

Admission is basically free, but it can get very crowded and each ride can be quite costly.

In the last century or so, the problem of “lost children” has reached epidemic proportion. Every day, G-d looks down upon his park and watches how more and more of his offspring become separated from him. Not one or two – but millions.

He seeks them out, He waits at the exits, but they are nowhere to be found. They get distracted by temptation or success or power or nonsense. Soon they choose to sever their relationship with Him. And somewhere up there G-d is crying.

“YEHUDA!!

BRITNEY!!

RACHEL!!

MARK!!

But there is no response; just more assimilation, more apathy, more agony.

Two thousand years ago, when His children estranged themselves, G-d responded. He declared his discontent by destroying the Temple -- twice -- which was built for His honor. And it is during this three-week period that we are now in, when the ravages took place, that ZH SDXVH DQG UHÀHFW DQG PRXUQ WKRVH sorrowful tragedies.

Losing one child for even a few minutes is a terrifying ordeal; losing millions of children for our Father in Heaven is an indescribable catastrophe. And we are witnessing that saddening disaster every day.

We cannot wait for those who are lost to suddenly appear. If nothing else we need to use this pensive time to at least imagine G-d’s pain, and to contemplate a strategy to bring His children home.

My kids were lucky. On that wondrous day, in a Magical Kingdom, they found their little boy. :LOO * G ¿QG +LV" Reprinted from Aish.com

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An open letter to the family of an upcoming simcha:

0RVW RI \RXU IULHQGV DUH PLVsing LPSRUWDQW SLFWXUHV My name is David Friedman from )ULHGPDQÂśV 3hotography. I know that the fact above sounds shocking, but after speaking to thousands of people who have had pictures made at their simchas and seeing samples of thousands of simcha photos, I have seen that most simchas miss important pictures. We all know that missing pictures can wreak havoc in Shulem Bayis and ruin the relationship with family PHPEHUV RI ZKRP LPSRUWDQW SLFWXUHV ZHUHQÂśW WDNen and hope that it does not happen to us.

After doing extensive research to find out why such important pictures were missing in such a large percentage of weddings I have found that the main reason was that: Nobody took the time to find out what pictures were important to you until after the simcha when it was already too late, and just like everything in life no picture can be taken for granted if it was not discussed. )ULHGPDQÂśV 3hotography, ZKLFK LV WKH VWXGLR , IRXQGHG %H]UDs Hashem, has been DURXQG GRLQJ TXDOLW\ SKRWRJUDSK\ VLQFH . We KDYH WKH H[SHUWLVH DQG NQRZOHGJH ZKLFK KDV EHHQ EXLOW XS E\ VHUYLQJ WKH FRPPXQLW\ IRU FORVH WR \HDUV DQG ZLWK WKLV EDFNJURXQG , SHUVRQDOO\ JXDUDQWHH that DQ\ SLFWXUH WKDW \RX GUHDP of will be taken at \RXU VLPFKD. We have used our experience to put together a formula to make sure that every person that hires us will receive 100% full coverage of all their dream pictures at any simcha and to offer our 100% Full coverage guarantee.

)XOO FRYHUDJH JXDrantee :H JXDUDQWHH WKDW DQ\ SLFWXUH WKDW \RX GUHDP of will be taken at the VLPFKD How does it work?

After you book )ULHGPDQœV SKRWRJUDSK\ for your simcha you will QHHG WR VFKHGXOH RXU XQLTXH ³Discuss Your Dreams´ SUH simcha consultation. We recommend that anyone you want to satisfy with pictures of your simcha should be at the consultation including: Chosen, Kallah, both sets of parents, or bar mitzvah boy & any sibling, grandparent, aunt etc. that you would want to satisfy with the pictures. At the ³Discuss <RXU 'UHDPV´ consultation, you will meet with a photography expert- an expert in what is available in photography- where the photography expert will explain to you what is available based on the plan you chose and what is the most popular while listening to you with the goal of helping you to clarify your dreams, needs, and wants. The photography expert will help you clearly state what you want and that will save you a lot of headaches trying to figure it on your own. You will also be spared the aggravation of not getting the pictures that were important to you when the simcha is over.

At the VLPFKD All your dream photographs will be taken iyâ&#x20AC;?h.

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PIZZA ROLLS

Make this recipe pareve by leaving out the cheese. You can add any combination of the vegetables to personalize this recipe for your family. Â&#x2021; UHFLSH 3L]]D 'RXJK UHFLSH EHORZ

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2Q D OLJKWO\ IORXUHG VXUIDFH UROO WKH SL]]D GRXJK LQWR DQ Âľ[ Âľ UHFWDQJOH (YHQO\ VSUHDG VDXFH RYHU WKH GRXJK (YHQO\ OD\HU WKH YHJHWDEOHV RYHU WKH VDXFH 6SULQNOH WKH FKHHVH RYHU WKH YHJHWDEOHV 5ROO WKH GRXJK MHOO\ UROO VW\OH OHQJWKZLVH 3LQFK WKH HQGV WR VHDO 8VLQJ D VKDUS VHUUDWHG NQLIH VOLFH WKH UROOV LQWR Ă´ LQFK SL]]D UROOV &DUHIXOO\ WUDQVIHU WKH UROOV WR WKH SUHSDUHG EDNLQJ VKHHW FXW VLGH XS OHDYLQJ DW OHDVW Ă´ LQFK EHWZHHQ WKH UROOV 6SUD\ WKH UROOV ZLWK QRQ VWLFN EDNLQJ VSUD\ %DNH IRU PLQXWHV XQWLO WKH FKHHVH KDV PHOWHG DQG WKH UROOV DUH JROGHQ EURZQ

These rolls are super-fast to make, freeze well, delicious and are perfect to grab-and-go to toss in your lunch box. They can be made pareve or dairy, and are great for your vacation, home, work, or school meals. Using white whole wheat flour in the crust makes these Pizza Rolls even healthier for your family (and they wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even taste the difference!)

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BROWN RICE SMOKED SALMON ROLLS

3 Ways (Can be made Gluten Free for the GFE!)

An elegant take on your favorite sushi (with no seaweed!), these rolls are a perfect light weeknight dinner, Shabbat or Yom Tov appetizer, or a beautiful and tasty addition to a get together with friends. These rolls are made healthier with the addition of short grain brown rice, and super healthy vegetables. The multi-colored tortilla wraps are a colorful addition to your table. You can even wrap these with thin strips of cucumber or carrot for a flavorful, striking and low calorie treat â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with a little kick!

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Â&#x2021;ZDVDEL VDXFH RSWLRQDO

For the wraps: Option #1: 4 assorted spinach (green), tomato basil (red), or whole wheat (white) 9 inch tortillas.

Option #2: 6 round rice sheets, soaked in boiling water for 20-30 minutes until soft, then drained.

Option #3: 2 super large carrots, or 2 large cucumbers.

Using a potato peeler, peel long and thin strips from the vegetables to use as the wraps. You can add shredded car-

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rots to this version as well for an especially attractive and tasty roll.

In a large bowl combine the rice, sesame seeds, rice vinegar and sugar. Set aside. In a small bowl combine the mayonnaise and cayenne pepper. Set aside.

To assemble the rolls: Place a tortilla on a cutting board. Spread 1 tablespoon of the mayonnaise mixture over the tortilla. Top with ½ cup of the rice mixture, leaving a 1-2 inch border at the top of the tortilla. Top with avocado, cucumber, and smoked salmon. Roll tightly. Repeat with remaining tortillas.

Chill 1 hour. Trim ends, then slice into rolls.

For the rice paper rolls, use slightly less mayonnaise mixture and proceed as directed above.

For the vegetable rolls, spread a thin layer of the mayonnaise mixture on the vegetable strip. Spread 1 to 2 tablespoons of rice over ½ the vegetable strip. Top with pieces of shredded carrot, avocado, and cucumber, laying them vertically on the strip. Top with a piece of smoked salmon, then tightly roll into a cylinder. Serve with soy sauce or wasabi sauce.

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67

H

irshel, Hersheyâ&#x20AC;Ś Hersheyâ&#x20AC;Ś

Hirshel,

Growing up in El Paso, Texas, my stepmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mormon cousin had turned my Jewish name into jingle for a chocolate bar. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t trying to be mean; actually it was quite funny. But at that moment I hated my Jewish name and I hated him.

On the other hand, I never related to my English name, Daren.

What did it have to do with me? My best friend Damon and I would always make up names for ourselves -- Kosimo, Otto, Bruno. With each name I had a different accent -Russian, German, Italian. , KDG GLIÂżFXOW\ UHPHPbering who I told people I was.

But as far as my Jewish name, it was simply embarrassing. When I showed up in a yeshiva at age 26, a rabbi asked me: â&#x20AC;&#x153;So, Daren, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your Jewish name?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aaahâ&#x20AC;Ś ummm... Hirshel.â&#x20AC;? Childhood DQJHU Ă&#x20AC;RRGHG RYHU PH I asked him to call me Daren. But every now and then, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d mention, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you want to be called up the Torah, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need a Jewish name.â&#x20AC;?

Actually, I was getting â&#x20AC;&#x153;called upâ&#x20AC;? -- but always for the lifting of the Torah, the only honor where oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jewish name is not needed. So I had some time to decide what to do about my Jewish name.

Which got me thinking: What are names all about, anyway? Shakespeare said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.â&#x20AC;? In other words, what you call something is arbitrary.

I discovered, however, that in Hebrew this is not so. What something is called, UHĂ&#x20AC;HFWV LWV LQQHU HVVHQFH In the Torah, it says that God brought all the animals before Adam, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and whatever the man called each living creature, that remained its nameâ&#x20AC;? (Genesis 2:19). The

way that Adam named the animals was by understanding the unique aspect of each creature. A donkey, which transports material goods (chomer) called a chamor.

So too, each of us is given a name that reĂ&#x20AC;HFWV WKH XQLTXH TXDOLWLHV DQG VWUHQJWKV with which weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been created. The 16th century kabbalist the Arizal explained that a Jewish name, and even its numeri-

cal value, can tell you about the nature of that person. The Hebrew word for soul, neshama, contains the word shem or name, showing the link between a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soul and their name.

By understanding our Jewish name, we glimpse aspects of both our essence and our purpose in life. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why, when being called up to the Torah, we use our Jewish name When you call someone by that name, you remind a person of the meaning of their spiritual essence.

So now I was in a real bind. Since I had rejected my original name, it was as if I was without a name. Can you say: Identity crisis?!

6R , GHÂżQLWHO\ QHHGHG WR FKRRVH D QHZ name. Yet it is a very serious process to change oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name, as it affects oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fortune. For example, if a person is very sick, the name Chaim (â&#x20AC;&#x153;lifeâ&#x20AC;?) is often added to strengthen him. Only a few people know how to give new names correctly.

Kabbalistic Root

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One day, my rabbi suggested: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll go together to a famous tzadGLN KRO\ PDQ ZKR FDQ KHOS \RX ÂżQG your name.â&#x20AC;?

I wanted to be prepared with some ideas, so from a book of Jewish names, I gathered all the most exotic names I could ¿QG ³=HUXEDYHO %HQL\DKX $VVD ´ A few days later, the rabbi took me to see Rabbi Yisrael Yaakov Fisher, known to be the greatest rabbi in the world for giving names. He knew the gematria (numerical value) of every name, and how that name corresponded to a word or verse of the Torah.

They say he was able to look into the soul of a person, and ascertain the kabbalistic root of the personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name.

We arrived at his shul in the Geula neighborhood of Jerusalem at 8 a.m. There was already a long line of people waiting. As we inched along, my anticipation grew for a real mystical experience.

As I turned the corner to face the great rabbi, I met a little bent man with a respirator smiling at me as if I were a long lost cousin. He turned to my rabbi friend and engaged him actively in Yiddish.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;my quest to tap the essence of my soulâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;His Hebrew name is Hirshel. He does not like his name. I had him make a list.â&#x20AC;?

Rabbi Fisher quickly took the list, and then looked up at me: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Azriel.â&#x20AC;?

I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even remembered putting that name on the list. But as soon as he said it,

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I knew it was supposed to be my name.

I walked out and thought about the meaning of the name Azriel: â&#x20AC;&#x153;My help is God.â&#x20AC;? I always felt that God was taking good care of me. As I accepted the QDPH LQ P\ KHDUW , VDZ D PHQWDO Ă&#x20AC;DVK RI DQ DJLOH ÂżJXUH YHU\ GLIIHUHQW IURP PH DW that moment, that I understood to be me as Azriel.

That afternoon, walking home, I thought about where my life was heading. At the time Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been working on to start an international human rights agency to end the incitation of children to violence

by Arab countries. A senatorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aide had helped me collect names of donors in the Jewish world to help fund my project.

The day before, I was given the name of a major player, and I was planning to contact him in New York.

all I could do to hold myself back from saying: â&#x20AC;&#x153;My name is Azriel and God helps me!â&#x20AC;?

not seen in 15 years passed away.

, ZDV Ă&#x20AC;\LQJ KLJK DV $]ULHO EXW WKHUH ZDV only one problem: I felt a bit guilty about getting rid of Hirshel all together. I liked the name Hirsh, it was just Hirshel I felt odd about.

My father drove me to the funeral. I took along a book of Psalms to say by the gravestones of different family members after the funeral. As I stood before my grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grave, I noticed the Hebrew names under her English name.

Now that I knew how to read Hebrew, I began sounding out the name: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Miriamâ&#x20AC;Ś the daughter ofâ&#x20AC;Ś Aaronâ&#x20AC;Ś Hirsh.â&#x20AC;?

$ IHZ PRQWKV ODWHU , ZDV Ă&#x20AC;\LQJ IURP ,Vrael to New York for a family occasion.

My father met me in New York. When I told him my itinerary, he said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here in the U.S. and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not coming to visit us in El Paso?!â&#x20AC;? I could tell he was hurt.

I tried to come up with a quick excuse.

I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t speak. Though I always knew that God loves me, did He care so much WR Ă&#x20AC;\ PH DOO WKH ZD\ EDFN WR WKH SODFH I was born, just to help complete my name? Just as my great-grandfather was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aaron Hirsh,â&#x20AC;? I now knew how to VKRUWHQ +LUVKHO LQ D ZD\ WKDW ÂżW SHUIHFWly: On that day, I became Azriel Hirsh.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a matter of kosher food. What I am supposed to eat in El Paso, Texas?â&#x20AC;?

Ready to be called up to the Torah.

Back to El Paso

Just then, a friend ran up to me: â&#x20AC;&#x153;You know that big donor you were looking for? Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in Israel. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s at the Western Wall right now.â&#x20AC;?

My father quickly accepted the challenge: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll kosher our kitchen for you.â&#x20AC;?

I ran to the Wall, found Mr. Big Donor, successfully arranged a meeting. It was

Several days later I was in El Paso. The day after I arrived, a cousin whom I had

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Ready to take Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help, and embrace my next challenge. o Reprinted from Aish.com

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