WINTER 2022
INSIDE THIS ISSUE:
How to Speak the Five Love Languages With Your Kids If You Can Ace This Gen Z Slang Quiz, You Might Just Be Very, Very Cool Being a Trustworthy Parent
COVER STORY:
Meet Lyndsay Peterson: North Logan’s First Female Mayor
Create a Culture of Belonging Family Safety Rules Every Family Should Consider
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4 | Winter 2022
Publisher & Editor in Chief
EMILY BUCKLEY Copy Editor
TARA BONE Cover Photography
HEATHER PALMER Layout Design
WHITE PALM DESIGN Website Design
KITE MEDIA Contributing Writers
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR I think many of us can agree that package delivery people are true heroes to our generation of mothers. We rely on near-daily deliveries from Amazon, Target, and other online retailers so much that when the UPS truck drives past my house without stopping to drop a package on my porch, I wonder why.
you be a little more patient when they failed to put their shoes away or had a pile of laundry in the middle of the living room floor? How about the pushy person at the grocery store or on the road? Maybe they are rushing to see a sick loved one or worrying over a troubled family member … handle with care!
Sometimes the words “FRAGILE handle with care” are printed on the side of a box. Those parcels get a little extra attention.
I’m pretty sure that more often than not, if the sticker was offered, most people’s situations would warrant the caution for their heart: FRAGILE, handle with care.
I’ve thought lately how those words can apply to the people we interact with. Imagine if people walked around with those stickers on hard days. Maybe your child felt left out on the playground at recess. If they jumped in the car after school with a FRAGILE sticker stuck to them, would we hug a little longer and speak a littler softer that evening? If your spouse had a FRAGILE sticker on their back reminding you they had a major work deadline they were trying to hit or that they’d been carrying a fussy, teething baby on their hip all day, would
I’m certainly not there yet, but this conscious thought is helping me become a little more patient and a little slower to judge. I’m trying to offer more smiles and let more people jump ahead of me in line. I think of these simple actions as the bubble wrap that is protecting fragile hearts all around me.
CLAIRE ANDERSON JANE ANDERSON MARK ANDERSON TARA BONE EMILY BUCKLEY CACHE COUNTY SCHOOL DISTRICT MICHAEL COLE, OD MADISON ELLIOT, CSW JENTRIE HALES STACY HEPNER, CNM CHERYL MAGUIRE PAM MOORE KATE NEELEY FRANK SCHOFIELD LETICIA SHIFFLE WIL WOOD
Cache Valley Family Magazine is a free, trusted resource designed to inform, serve, and enrich local parents and families throughout Cache Valley. Material in this publication is copyright 2022, Cache Valley Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission of the publisher is prohibited. The views expressed in the magazine are the views of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. Please send all editorial correspondence to info@cachevalleyfamilymagazine.com or by mail to PO Box 6831, North Logan, UT 84341. All correspondence is sent on a non-confidential basis and Cache Valley Family Magazine shall be free to reproduce, publish, edit and/or use any such communications. All materials become property of Cache Valley Family Magazine.
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As we move into a holiday focused on love, consider the fragility of your family, friends, and neighbors and handle with care.
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EAT LIKE A LOCAL Açai Bowls in Logan ... pg 7
PAGE 15
MAKING A DIFFERENCE The Nice Mice: Making a Difference in the Home ... pg 8 FAMILY MATTERS Conquer the Goal Battles: Goal Setting for Children and Teens ... pg 10 FACT CHECK It Was Hip to Say Back Then, But Which Generation's Slang Really is the GOAT? ... pg 18
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IN EVERY ISSUE
COVER STORY
Lyndsay Peterson: North Logan’s First Female Mayor pg 20
EDUCATION Cache County School District: Accommodating Growth in Our Schools ... pg 22 Logan County School District: Being a Trustworthy Parent ... pg 23 HEALTHY FAMILIES Perinatal Mood Disorders and Anxiety ... pg 27 SAFE FAMILIES Five Family Safety Rules Your Family Should Consider ... pg 28 FAMILY FAITH Alpine Church ... pg 30 FIT FAMILIES Seven Ways to Promote Your Child's Healthy Lifestyle ... pg 36 GOOD NEIGHBORS Remembering the [REAL]TOR® Value ... pg 38
A Step-by-Step Guide to Container Planting ... pg 12 FEATURED ARTICLES
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Understanding Attunement and Bonding with Children ... pg 15 How to Speak the Five Love Languages With Your Kids ... pg 24 Create a Culture of Belonging ... pg 32 Is it Bedtime ... Or Am I Being Chased By a Tiger? ... pg 35
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E AT L I K E A L O C A L
Açai Bowls in Logan WIL WOOD
owner, Love to Cook
Some people call it healthy junk food, some call it purple ice cream, vegans call it Mother Nature’s nectar. We call them Açai bowls (pronounced ah-sah-EE). Açai is a superfood, but all you really need to know is that they are like a Brazilian blueberry. The bowls are usually some combination of an açai smoothie with fresh fruit, granola, and unlimited toppings. There are a few places you can get them in town and I go to all of them for different reasons. The first one I will tell you about is Bloom Eatery on Center Street in Logan. They are mainly known for smoothies and bowls, but they also do vegan soups and occasionally have fresh vegan cinnamon rolls with thick, creamy frosting. I go there when I’m starving and could eat a meal. I usually order the almond açai bowl (plus protein). They have three types of granola to choose from; I always get the Mum’s. I’m making my way through their specialty drinks which are delicious as well. They also have a kid’s menu which is fun because you can give your
child a small, healthy dish and not spend another 10 bucks. Speaking of money, the prices for a full size might give you a little sticker shock, but the portions are generous, and you get what you pay for. Bloom has been through different names and owners: Ah-sigh-ee, then Crush, and now new owners Brandy and Matt Jarboe call it Bloom Eatery. They are locals, so give them a shot! Next up: Everyone has heard of Jamba, but not everyone knows they have berry bowls there. They are all delicious with very fun colors that derive from fruit: strawberry, pitaya, spirulina (cyanobacteria is like fruit too), and of course açai. I usually get the chunky strawberry bowl sub the soy milk (I don’t trust soy milk) and add 3G energy. 3G energy isn’t a type of cellular phone radiation that will calcify your brain, it is just some caffeine powder they put in the smoothies that makes you feel like HeMan (or Sheera) for a few hours. Also, if you haven’t tried the Greens and Ginger juice, it’s worth a try. Even though Jamba is a franchise, it’s locally owned and operated by Melissa and Jon Anderson. Jon is a tall slim fellow with a great beard and, like me, is usually the only dude working in the store. Last and certainly not least is the place that got me addicted to this açai bowl madness. Westside Café, owned by Cache Valley natives Diane and John McMorris, is the place I go when I need something sweet, but I don’t want to feel guilty afterward. The two previous berry bowls have sort of a runny smoothie texture, but Westside scoops their frozen açai into the bowl then adorns it with fresh fruit and their sweet, perfectly soft but crunchy house-made granola. Yes, the granola is the highlight for me, and they sell it by the bag, too. I usually order the Westside bowl and almond butter. Westside also has a location next to Fredrico’s Pizza called Eastside Café. All of these serve a different purpose and are all worth a shot. Give them a taste and tell them we sent you!
Açai at Bloom Eatery on Center Street in Logan.
8 | Winter 2022
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
The Nice Mice: Making a Difference in the Home CLAIRE ANDERSON
contributing writer
Growing up, Emily Willie of Wyoming was taught that focusing on others when you’re having a bad day can completely change your attitude and outlook. That is why, when her 8-year-old daughter began struggling with selfesteem and comparison, she created the Nice Mice.
“It wasn’t long before we could see a positive change in the way she viewed not only others, but most importantly, herself,” Emily said. “It was such a great transformation that I wanted to share my idea with others and hopefully help other children feel good about themselves by changing the world, one nice deed at a time.”
“I knew I needed to act fast to come up with a plan to change things for her,” Emily said. “That is when I remembered what my mom had taught me — to be nice to others when I was down. I then ran to my local gift shop to see if I could find something to help. That is when I spotted the cutest little wool mice. They were perfect.”
Later, Emily’s brother, Mark Huntsman of Cache Valley, received an anonymous gift for his family containing some little wool mice, handmade good deed cards, and a note explaining the Nice Mice and their purpose. His kids began using the Nice Mice and, once again, they were a hit. Mark was impressed by the concept of the Nice Mice and, after talking to his sister, found out that she had been the one to send the gift.
Emily then wrote a letter to her daughter from the Nice Mice, explaining who they were and the reason for their arrival: to help Emily’s daughter focus on serving others. She was hooked from the start and began to follow the mice’s kind deed prompts.
Together they teamed up and decided to turn the Nice Mice into a business. Now, after several years of designing good deed cards, boxes, and writing a book, Emily and Mark have created an
impactful way to help children learn to be kind to themselves by first being kind to others. “We believe that doing nice things can change the lives of both those who receive kind deeds as well as those who perform them. Our mission is to help children change the world one nice deed at a time. We know that children like to be nice, but sometimes they just need a little direction,” Mark said. As well as making an impact among families, Emily and Mark hope that the Nice Mice can help children influence others around them as well. “We hope that the Nice Mice will bring more kindness into the home,” Mark said. “Then that will overflow into schools and communities. This is what the world needs. Many of the issues in our society today come from a lack of kindness.” Follow the Nice Mice on Instagram or Facebook at @thenicemice, or visit thenicemice.com.
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10 | Winter 2022
FA M I LY M AT T E R S
Conquer the Goal Battles: Goal Setting for Children and Teens TARA BONE
contributing writer
A new year should mean new goals for the entire family, right? The benefits of goal setting for children and teens is a popular topic among experts and educators and is all the buzz in news, social media, and even some religious settings. But have you sat down with an 8-yearold boy or a resistant teenager to discuss … gulp, “goals?” I’ve had the pleasure multiple times; with little success. Usually I get a blank stare followed by, “are we done yet?” shortly after we start. I thought I was alone in my failures to jump start motivated, goal-oriented kids, until other discouraged parents assured me I wasn’t.
I went to work gathering resources to help parents conquer the goal battles of 2022. Below are some goal-setting tips and tricks for children and teens. Keep in mind that every child is different, so if one thing doesn’t work, try something else. Don’t give up on efforts to help your child learn a life-long skill that will reap countless rewards down the road. Research has proven that children and teens who learn how to set and accomplish any size goal develop stronger self-confidence and improved decision making skills. RESEARCH-BASED GOAL SETTING BASICS According to Education World, there are six keys to successful goal setting at any age:
1. Write clear and measurable goals. 2. Create a specific action plan for each goal. 3. Read goals daily and visualize accomplishment. 4. Reflect on progress to evaluate progress. 5. Revise action plans if needed. 6. Celebrate accomplishments. APPS AND ONLINE HELPS Decide how your child wants to write down and track goals. Take into consideration their personality. If you have a teen that uses a phone frequently, use a goal app. There are countless apps, books, and free worksheets available online to help track goals. Some favorites are:
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Electronic Trackers • Lifetick; only available through a web browser • Strides (not available for Android) • Coach.me • Atracker
HOW-TO IDEAS Be consistent! • Meet one-on-one consistently to check progress. Some parents do the same day and time each week for a goal review. This can be informal and fun.
Books and online helps • Charts4Kids.com offers reward charts and parenting tips • Biglifejournal.com; mindfulness and goalfocused journals for kids and teens plus parenting helps • Verywellfamily.com; articles on a variety of parenting topics
Make the approach fun • Take your child out for ice cream or a favorite activity and introduce whatever goal tracker system you’re going to use. Find a variety of goal-setting activities at cachevalleyfamilymagaine.com. Some include Interest Mapping, “Wheel of Fortune,” and vision boards.
• For younger children use visible charts and/or ongoing activities such as a family bucket list to teach goal setting (see cachevalleyfamilymagazine.com for bucket list tips). Use rewards for goal accomplishment. Watch for opportunities to match interests with goal setting any time of the year. • It doesn’t have to happen just at the beginning of the year. When goals are accomplished, celebrate them and make more! TEEN TIPS • Make sure it’s their goal, not yours. If they don’t buy into it and believe it; they won’t accomplish it. Period. • Be supportive of their interests. After they’ve met goals in areas of their interest, help them then find value in other areas, such as schoolwork. • Wait for the right time. Don’t bombard them with goal-setting glory when they’ve had a bad day or are ticked about taking out the trash. • Encourage goals they are in control of. Making a team or even earning a grade is sometimes out of their control. Instead make goals targeted and specific, such as turn in every math assignment on time during winter semester. • Help them see a benefit to their goal. For example, “I want to earn my driver’s license so I’m not at home all the time.” • Teach it’s OK to change a goal as needed. It's a good life lesson to demonstrate how they can be adaptable and flexible, while still staying committed.
12 | Winter 2022
A Step-by-Step Guide to Container Planting MARK ANDERSON
owner, Anderson’s Seed and Garden
During the growing season, larger, and more mature plants, such as fruit and shade trees, shrubs, vines, and small fruits are sold in containers. Container plants have multiple benefits over bare root, including: 1. Container plants have more established root systems and the fine root hairs have not been disturbed by recent excavation. 2. Container plants can be kept and stored (in a protected, shaded place) for the entire growing season without need for repotting. 3. Container plants are fully leafed out or even in bloom, and you have a better idea of what your finished product will look like. Make sure to handle plants gently when transporting them to their new home. Immediately upon arrival at home, soak the root balls with water or a root stimulator solution before planting to fully hydrate the root system.
Don’t forget to water the tops as well, and then place the plants in a partially shady location until planting. If you are unable to plant them for a few days or even weeks, make sure to water them daily to keep the root ball moist. One significant cause of failure when planting is that the delicate feeder roots get dried out and lose viability. Keep those roots moist!
extra deep, then backfill with your soil mix to the correct depth. In heavy clay soils, we also recommend digging deeper around the outside of the hole, so that the center is higher, allowing excess water to drain away from the root system. Many newly planted trees and shrubs die from poor drainage and standing water more than from lack of water.
Dig the holes two to three times larger than the diameter of the pot the plant is in and deep enough so that the graft or crown of the roots will be just above the soil line.
Before planting (or right after planting), prune off any broken, dead or damaged, crisscrossing, and excess branches. Also, it never hurts to trim the excess foliage or even branches back off by 15 to 25%. This will help eliminate stress from the roots that have been damaged from removal from the pot, planting, and transport. Don’t prune the roots, crush the root systems, or damage the fine root hairs when removing the pot or when planting.
Try and match up the soil line in the pot with the soil line in your garden if possible. Remove any rocks or debris from the soil excavated from the hole. Add 25 to 30% of a compost or planting mix to the soil to help with drainage and moisture absorption. If your soil has a high clay content or if you encounter hardpan at the bottom of the hole, it may help to dig the holes
Position the tree or plant in the hole so that the graft (the large knobby part found right
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between the trunk and the roots) or the crown (where the stem or leaves come out of the roots) is about 1-inch above the final soil line. If this graft is placed below the soil line, the tissue of the trunk can rot or send up unwanted suckers. If it is placed too high, the root tissue may be damaged by exposure to sunlight and weather extremes.
Add a generous amount of Myke Tree and Shrub transplanter to the bottom of the hole and sprinkle the roots as well, so that they are evenly covered. Myke is a natural fungus that has a symbiotic relationship with your plant’s roots that creates its own microscopic root system that searches out water and nutrient to sustain its host. This dramatically increases root development and mass, and the overall health of the new addition to your garden. Fill the hole back in with the soil/compost mixture. For every three to four inches of soil added, compact the loose soil around the root ball with your foot or hands. Tap the soil down gently to remove air pockets. Fill the hole until the soil is back even with the existing soil line. Build up the soil in a ring around the outside diameter of the hole to make a nice, shallow pool to contain water, allowing it to soak in slowly and not run off. Water thoroughly with the water or root stimulator (Kangaroots is our all-time favorite natural root drench) mixture used to soak the trees. Mix up more as needed. Water gradually
until the soil is completely moist. DO NOT OVER WATER. Depending on the daytime temperatures and the soil type, most trees and shrubs will only need watering once every 5 to 10 days. The best way to determine when to water is to dig down into the soil mix 6 to 8 inches away from the trunk. If the soil is still damp down two to three inches, then you can wait another day or two to water. Check the soil again before watering. When the soil is feeling dry at two to three inches of depth, then it is time to water again. Make sure to use enough water to saturate the soil mixture completely. We recommend using the root stimulator on new bare root plants for the first three or four waterings. Newly transplanted plants require minimal fertilizer the first year. A slow release nitrogen with micro-nutrients like Fertilome Start-NGrow or Natural Guard Organic Plant Starter with natural microbes and bio-stimulators would be excellent choices to feed a new plant all year long with one or two applications. The most important fertilizer you can give your new plants is the first three or four applications of root stimulator when watering, which will quickly prepare the roots for establishment in their new home and build a strong foundation for new growth.
KNOWDREAMS
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This project was supported by Award No. [19VOCA123] awarded by the Utah Office Victims of Crime, Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations are those of CAPSA and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice or grant-making component.
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Understanding Attunement and Bonding with Children MADISON ELLIOTT, CSW (SHE/HER/HERS)
therapist and project director, Trauma Resiliency Project, The Family Place
Authors Margaret E. Blaustein and Kristine M. Kinniburgh (2019), developers of the therapeutic model Attachment, Regulation, and Competency, suggest that a caregiver’s ability to attune to their child’s needs can assist them in understanding the true functions of a child’s behavior. Blaustein and Kinniburgh (2019) define ‘attunement’ as a child and parent’s ability to read each other’s non-verbal cues and respond in a manner that supports co-regulation, consistency, rhythm, and meets each other’s emotional needs. Improving these skills can help you and your child experience more happiness together. WHY IS ATTUNEMENT IMPORTANT? Parents and caregivers who are attuned to their children’s needs may be able to recognize distinct changes in their child’s behavior based on body language, vocal tone, facial expression, lack of interest in activities once enjoyed, and changes in mood. When these changes are recognized, there is an opportunity for the caregiver to intervene appropriately and in a healthy manner. First, parents can speak to their child about changes in
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their non-verbal cues in a non-directive, calm manner. An example of this may be, “I noticed you have pulled back from your favorite hobbies. Can you tell me more about this?” or “I noticed you haven’t been laughing as much as before. Have there been any changes or difficulties that you’d like to discuss?” A key point of having these conversations is to remain calm, validate your child’s concerns and speak with a soft, kind tone. Remember, certain challenges that your children are facing may not seem like ‘the end of the world’ to you, but to your child, they are significant. It is important for parents to remember not to minimize their child’s experiences. Parents can co-regulate with their child by supporting them in managing their emotions and emotional reactions. A great way to engage in coregulation is through physical touch. Parents can help their children regulate their nervous system responses to stress through breathing together and listening to one another’s heartbeats. Parents can place their hands on their child’s chest and listen to their heartbeat while their child places their hand upon their chest and feels their heartbeat. By participating in this exercise, both parent and child can hear a consistent, regulating rhythm to help one another relax. Blaustein and Kinniburgh (2019) suggest that children sense their caregiver’s ability to attune to them. For example, a parent’s ability to ...continued on next page
16 | Winter 2022
continued from previous page ... mirror their child’s excitement, facial expressions, and vocal tone shows children that their caregiver is attuned to their emotional needs. MANAGING YOUR OWN REACTIONS Blaustein and Kinniburgh (2019) suggest that caregivers should have a toolbox of coping strategies to help them manage their emotions and reactions to stress. This is referred to as “Caregiver Affect Management” and is one of the foundations of the Attachment, Regulation and Competency framework. Take a few moments to compile a list of coping strategies and emotional management techniques to enhance your capacity to deal with stressors. Coping strategies such as mindfulness, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and self-care may decrease the intensity of stressors. Recognizing your own internal cues to stress is another vital emotional management skill. This can be done by sensing any changes in emotional response; perhaps noticing any extra tension, irritability, or anxiety. Next, take a moment to self-reflect and consider what stressors may have caused these reactions. After this, ask yourself
“What do I need in this moment?” and “How can I give myself what I need?” As we care for our own mental and emotional health, we will be able to deal with stress in healthy ways that will also encourage attunement with our children and loved ones.
The Family Place offers a variety of workshops to help improve parenting skills, emotional regulation, and the attachment between caregivers and children. For more information visit thefamilyplaceutah.org.
18 | Winter 2022
FA C T C H E C K
It Was Hip to Say Back Then, But Which Generation’s Slang Really is the GOAT? KATE NEELEY
contributing writer
Clayton, a 14-year-old student at Spring Creek Middle School in Providence, has the skinny on what’s cool to say if you’re a Gen-Z-er like he is. And, according to him, you really need to be qualified to use current slang phrases. He relates, “When older people or adults say things like ‘That’s gucci’ [meaning that’s really cool] or stuff like that, it just seems weird, like they’re trying to be a teenager.” Top slang terms and phrases Clayton likely hears in the hall every day include: • GOAT (abbreviation for Greatest Of All Time) or GOATED (In a sentence: He is SO goated!)
• Stop the cap! (What you’re talking about is unimportant OR You are kidding me!) • Yeet (To throw something is to “yeet” it) • Flex (To show off) • Lit (Similar to GOAT — if something is ‘lit,’ it’s basically the best thing) There are plenty more of those terms, but as slang goes, it won’t be long before it changes or becomes so mainstream that you don’t think it's slang at all. For example, do you really even think twice when you use words like “cool,” “awesome,” or “OK?” In the late 70s in America, “awesome”
started to become popular to use for describing something really great — but previous to what most understand as its meaning today, it was understood to mean something more along the lines of “awful.” ‘Awesome’ isn’t the only word that got a glowup over time. It seems to be a trend for words that mean something in everyday conversation to become slang and in the process gain a new meaning exactly opposite to what it meant before. Lauren Wood, a Cache Valley resident and a millennial (born between 1980 and 1996), in
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conversation with her mom Kathy Allan, a baby boomer (born between 1947 and 1964) explained that the word ‘sick,’ was a slang term that started in her generation and means ‘extremely impressive.’ Another millennial from Northern Cache Valley, Kate Oldham lists some of her favorite slang memories from her high school years, “These made me laugh thinking of them,” she said. “Cool beans (awesome), booyah (super awesome), peeps (my people), and dissed (disrespecting someone).” Do you remember any of these? If you do, chances are you’re a millennial or maybe even Generation X (birth years 1965 to 1980).
You might not need to think very hard to recall some of the things even your grandparents would say. Expressions like ‘dag gummit!’ or ‘Well, I’ll be jiggered!’ or any number of similar phrases can even be endearing as a memory. Cache Valley seems to have a knack for coming up with ‘substitute swear words’ that have become everyday expressions among old and young alike. Things like ‘What the heck?,’ ‘dang it,’ and ‘frick’ have surely earned places in the Cache Valley Slang Hall of Fame — if there was one. As much as slang has less value in the ‘proper English’ category, it seems of high value to the generations who claim certain words and phrases. The Gen-Z-ers want to claim their words and the Millennials have fond memories of the phrases they used in high school, but they’re not up for grabs for other generations to claim. Blake Webster, a Baby Boomer whose kids live in Cache Valley, spouted off some words he remembers from his growing years — things like ‘far out’ and ‘groovy’ take him back, but his kids might’ve not wanted to have been caught dead saying those things at school. You might find it a fun way to connect with friends and family members alike by asking them about the slang terms they remember. It’s a great way to have a conversation that almost anyone can relate to and one that definitely lightens the mood — and who wouldn’t go for that?
IF YOU CAN ACE THIS GEN Z SLANG QUIZ
You Might Just Be Very, Very Cool 1. What does “no cap” mean? A. The person is not wearing a cap B. “No lie” or “For real” C. Someone lost the cap to their drink D. “No guns allowed”
6. What does ‘high key’ mean? A. A loud noise B. A whispered message C. To make something obvious D. A quiet noise
2. What is ‘tea’? A. A soothing drink B. A small golf accessory C. A generous tip D. Gossip
7. Define “Sus” A. Modern way of saying S.O.S. B. A popular shoe brand C. What Gen Zs call a person named Susan D. Abbreviation for “suspicious” or “suspect”
3. What is a “bop”? A. A sport in Sweden B. Something that is vintage in a cool way C. A really good song D. A tap on the nose 4. What does it mean when someone says “facts”? A. They are receiving a fax B. They are referring a medical questionnaire C. Truth D. It is an acronym for Families Acting Crazy Together Seriously 5. When something “slaps,” that means: A. They were hit across the face B. Something is so good C. A plant is dying D. Something fell
8. What does ‘extra’ refer to? A. A brand of gum B. Something over the top C. Extra credit D. Extraterrestrial 9. What does ‘bet’ mean? A. Wanna make a bet B. I dare you C. A term for agreement D. Yeah right 10. If someone responds “mood,” what does that mean? A. They are in a bad mood B. Same here C. A cow mooed at them D. They want a mood ring
QUIZ ANSWERS: 1) B 2) D 3) C 4) C 5) B 6) C 7) D 8) B 9) C 10) B
Kathy remembers when this started to become popular to use among her kids’ generation and how it was so confusing to her. “I always understood ‘sick’ to mean gross and yucky, and when I would hear people exclaim with excitement that they thought something was ‘sick,’ it took me a while to catch on that it was a positive thing,” she said.
20 | Winter 2022
Lyndsay Peterson
North Logan’s First Female Mayor EMILY BUCKLEY
editor in chief
North Logan wrote a line in its history book when residents elected Lyndsay Peterson as their first female mayor in November. She was inaugurated last month. Mayor Peterson felt a wide range of support from women and men throughout the community when she made the decision to run for the position, and it continued throughout her campaign. “I watched a broad swath of our community rally and support me,” she said. “I had contemporaries who had never been involved in politics who jumped into my campaign and who continue their civic involvement. I also want to acknowledge community leaders, men and women, who encouraged, supported, and endorsed me. Cache Valley is a place that prioritizes community and family, and I think that electing leaders who are women is an extension of that value system.” As for why this piece of history matters, Mayor Peterson says that she hopes that her service validates all of the ways women lead: as
coaches, on PTA boards, and volunteering in causes about which they feel passionately. “Women in our community contribute in so many ways,” she said. “Having a diversity of perspectives is so valuable as we make decisions that impact the families in our valley. Growth and its attendant issues were among the main themes of Mayor Peterson’s campaign. “[North Logan] as a city has to figure out ways to grow deliberately and to provide our citizens with the necessary infrastructure to accommodate that growth,” she said. She added that North Logan’s offerings are a benefit to Cache Valley as a whole. “North Logan has a robust recreation program that has the most participants in all of the valley,” she said. “We have an amazing library and we love being a place that draws people to our area for amazing programs. We have some other projects up our sleeves that will hopefully continue to bring people to [North Logan].”
“Erik and my kids have been incredibly supportive,” Mayor Peterson said. “They handed out flyers and walked in parades during my campaign, and they were probably more nervous than I was during the meet-the-candidate night. Erik is loving his new role as the first gentleman, although he’s already exceeded his annual allotment of photoshoots and ceremonies.”
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Mayor Peterson’s campaign platform revolved around the idea of building for the future while preserving community values. She says that her grandfather was a fourth-generation rancher who fostered a feeling of responsibility for strengthening the community in which she lives. Since moving to Cache Valley in 2016 with her husband, Erik Peterson, DO, an orthopedic surgeon, at Alpine Orthopaedic Specialists, she has done everything she can to honor the wisdom of her grandfather and strengthen her community. Soon after arriving in the valley, Mayor Peterson attended a Friends of the North Logan Library book sale, signed up to become a member of the board, and later began serving as president, in 2017. “We’ve been working for years in tandem with city leaders on a new city complex, including new city offices, a community center, and a library expansion,” Mayor Peterson said. “I’ve been passionate about seeing that project to its conclusion and feel fortunate that I’ll be able to continue my participation in the city center construction as mayor.” Mayor Peterson also served on the North Logan planning commission for many years where she says she got a real taste of the issues North Logan is faces.
“When I asked my kids about whether I should file for mayor, Henry said that he’d like to have the kind of mom who runs for mayor.” MAYOR PETERSON
“Nearly every area of Utah is experiencing profound growth and I’m hoping to guide North Logan in growing in a deliberate, responsible way.” Mayor Peterson will balance her new civic responsibilities with her ongoing duties of a mother. She and Erik are parents to three children: Daphne (12), Henry (10), and Theo (7). “We came to Cache Valley having no connections to the area, but we’ve fallen in love with this valley very quickly and understand why people are so motivated to settle down here,” she said. “We love being able to go to Bear Lake on a whim in the summer, ski at Beaver and Cherry Peak, kayak at First Dam, hike in Logan Canyon, and play soccer, volleyball, basketball, football, and baseball.” Mayor Peterson earned both an undergraduate degree in finance and a law degree from Brigham Young University and worked as an environmental litigation attorney in Ohio for over a decade. She informally retired from her law career before moving to Utah. “I’ve transitioned from private practice to public service roles, putting my legal background to work analyzing ordinances and bylaws,” Mayor Peterson said.
22 | Winter 2022
P RES E N T E D BY
Accommodating Growth in Our Schools CACHE COUNTY SCHOOL DISTRICT
As the population has increased in our valley over the last several years, Cache County School District has also been experiencing significant student growth. For example, this school year, the district grew by 721 students and over the last six years, it has grown by 2,359 students. That’s roughly the equivalent of adding enough students to fill a very large elementary school in just one year or nearly two high schools in just six years! We feel fortunate to have been able to accommodate this growth with a very supportive school community. In 2006, the public passed a school bond allowing us to address a number of needs. Among these, we constructed three new elementary schools, completed a number of additions to increase the capacity of other schools, constructed a transportation facility that serves both the Cache and Logan School Districts, and purchased property to accommodate future growth. In 2013, the public supported another bond to address additional growth, especially in our secondary schools. We were able to resolve a number of issues including building two new high schools at a cost of what most districts spend on a single high school, constructing a new elementary school, and completing a number of projects to address seismic concerns. We moved 9th grade into our high schools and 6th grade back into our elementary schools, allowing us to better utilize our buildings across the district. As our valley continues to grow, we again need to address how to best accommodate growth. Currently, 10 of our elementary schools are operating at or over capacity and one of our middle schools is over capacity. Over the last five years, rather than utilizing the bond process, we have used the district’s capital funds to modify space at our three middle schools and to construct two 10-classroom
additions at Green Canyon and Ridgeline High Schools, as well as to construct a number of portable classrooms. There are currently 31 elementary, four middle school, and two high school portable classrooms being utilized across the district.
Even with the challenges associated with growth, we feel fortunate to be a growing school district with a track record of academic excellence and fiscal responsibility. We look forward to continuing to serve the students in Cache Valley.
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P R E S EN TE D BY
Being a Trustworthy Parent FRANK SCHOFIELD
superintendent, Logan City School District
As we reflect on the positive relationships in our lives, all of our strongest relationships often have a common core element: trust. The most enduring bonds are with individuals who trust each other. Trust, defined as “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something” is a foundational piece (maybe the foundational piece) to all positive relationships. Being trustworthy, then, is a core element in forging positive relationships. This is particularly important in relationships with children. Being a trustworthy adult strengthens bonds, helps children develop core beliefs, and encourages the positive behaviors that will help others trust them. Andrea Loewen Nair, B.Ed., M.A., a teacher and psychotherapist, suggests the following eight actions that parents can take to help build trust in their relationships with their children: LISTEN Listening is different than hearing. Listening is an action. To listen to a child means to recognize their words, but more importantly to seek to really understand the underlying message. For example, when a child says “I hate you, Mommy!” she isn’t saying “I hate you,” she is more likely saying something like, “I am mad
that you are making me go to daycare instead of spending the day with you.”
child’s openness, requests for help need to be answered to the best of your ability.
We can show children we are listening by paraphrasing their words back to them, staying focused on feeling words. “Are you telling me that you are angry we have to be apart? You know what, I’m feeling sad to be away. You, too?” (pause) “When I see you after circle time, let’s figure out a way to miss each other less during the day.”
Also respond to emotional statements with validation and support. When a child says, “I’m scared,” use words to show your child you will help keep her safe, for example, “I can see why you’d be afraid of the dark. Let’s figure out a way to help you with that.”
ATTUNE Attuning is taking listening even deeper; it is anticipating your child’s needs based on verbal and nonverbal cues. It is knowing that a meltingdown child, for example, really needs to sleep. Instead of unleashing punishments for lashing out, you find a way to ensure they get more rest. USE EYE CONTACT People learn a lot about a person’s intention by focusing on their eyes. When speaking to a child, get down and gently look into his or her eyes. Let your child see what sincerity looks like. RESPOND Children will automatically verbally or nonverbally ask for help, as long as they believe (trust) those requests will be answered. In order to grow trust and continue your
KEEP PROMISES Follow through with what you tell your child you will be doing. Part of keeping promises is to not use them to reduce your guilt or instead of saying “no.” Promise what is reasonable and within your ability to honor. TELL THE TRUTH Get in the habit of not using white lies with your children. This helps children match verbal and nonverbal communication, reducing confusion. It also helps little ones understand what positive moral ethics are. ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES AND CONSISTENCY When a child can trust things happen in a certain order, the brain can relax, staying out of fight-or-flight mode. Routines and consistency also help reduce conflict. For example, when pushing for “10 more minutes” a child is likely to give up whining if she knows you are going to calmly say, “It would be fun to have 10 more minutes but that will put us in the late zone. When this song is over, it is time for us to put our boots on.” The setting and holding of boundaries grows a slightly different type of trust: a strong belief that a parent will uphold safety and integrity. BE OPEN Parents will make mistakes. Being open about our shortcomings, fears, and struggles helps our children trust that doing so is safe to do. Volunteering information to your child teaches him/her how to do the same. As you do this, talk about how to volunteer information to people beyond your family in a way that is safe: how to not over share, increasing risk for predatory behavior of others.
24 | Winter 2022
How to Speak the Five Love Languages With Your Kids PAM MOORE
contributing writer
Haven’t we all left a copy of The Five Love Languages on our partner’s side of the bed at some point? (Or maybe that’s just me.) According to the book’s author, Gary Chapman, the five love languages are: • Physical affection • Acts of service • Quality time • Words of praise • Receiving gifts While you might hope to come home to flowers after an argument, your partner might prefer you volunteer to do the dishes to show you care. According to the author, the key to a healthy relationship is for each person to
express love in their partner’s preferred love language, instead of their own.
neurodevelopment in infants. But the need for touch — whether a hug or a fist bump — doesn’t end with infancy. Physical affection lets kids He says this concept applies to children, too. know you care, and that you will listen when According to child therapist Megan Cronin they’re ready to talk. But what if your child’s love Larson, a child’s primary love language typically language is touch and you’re not a big hugger? emerges around age 3 or 4. While you can Licensed psychotherapist and play therapist respond to cues from your child to figure Brenna Hicks recommends parents “keep the out what his or her love language is, in The physical touch small but consistent. [It] can be as 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman simple as placing your hand on a child’s shoulder encourages parents to use all five love languages as you pass by, rubbing their head a few times with their children, in order to lay a healthy on the couch, or giving them a quick kiss on the foundation for future relationships. forehead. It isn’t necessarily long bear hugs.” PHYSICAL AFFECTION Research shows that touch is vital to healthy
You could… • Give a back rub
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• Let him sit in your lap while you read to him (or have him read to you) • Put the couch cushions on the floor and have a playful wrestling match • Wash her hair • Hold hands • Invite her to snuggle while watching a movie ACTS OF SERVICE As parents, our lives are a never-ending blur of acts of service. How can we possibly do more? And why should we? There is a difference between responding to rapid-fire requests for snacks and helping with school projects and setting your phone aside, making eye contact, and offering to help, or taking time to do something extra-special for your kid.
need for someone to share in their experience.” By adolescence, kids are no longer interested in playing. They are often busy with school, friends, and activities. You could… • Play hide and seek • Engage in pretend play • Go to the library • Enjoy the outdoors together; walk, hike, or go for a bike ride • Bake together • Have a dance party
You could… • Offer to fix a broken toy • Bring your child breakfast in bed • Cook his favorite meal • Cut their sandwiches into fun shapes • Give a manicure
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Research shows we aren’t helping when we tell our kids they’re great at everything. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use praise to connect with them; rather, we should be deliberate about what we say. Parents should acknowledge the effort, not the outcome. For example, instead of saying “Nice job!” when your kid comes down the slide, you could say, “I noticed how hard you worked to get up the ladder.”
QUALITY TIME Experts agree play is the optimum way to engage in quality time with young children. “Use play as their language and toys as their words,” Brenna said. “By playing with them, you learn more about them and meet their
You could… • Acknowledge how hard she’s working on something specific (e.g., “You’re putting so much effort into practicing your cartwheels/ math problems/being kind to your sister.”) • Say “I love you”
• Tell her three things you admire about her • Ask if he knows how lucky you feel that you get to be his parent • “Catch her” being good. (e.g., “I really appreciate you doing your chores without being asked,” or “You were an awesome listener at the park.”) RECEIVING GIFTS As with the other love languages, the importance of the gift is not the gift itself, but the intention behind it. As Brenna explains, “You can feel very confident that a gift need not cost money or be extravagant for your child to appreciate the extension of love.” You could… • Surprise her with a homemade card • Inscribe your old copy of a book you enjoyed at his age and give it to him • Find an accessory or a piece of clothing you no longer wear and give it to your kids as a dress-up item • Draw him a picture • Build something for her if you’re handy No matter what love language you “speak” with your kid, Cronin Larson reminds us that our full presence is the greatest gift we can give our kids. Discover their love language and connect with them on a new level!
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H E A LT H Y FA M I L I E S
Perinatal Mood Disorders and Anxiety STACY HEPNER, CNM
certified nurse midwife, Intermountain Healthcare – Budge Clinic
Up to 85% of women get postpartum blues, which is common, mild, and lasts less than two weeks. With the blues you may notice yourself crying over seemingly small and insignificant things. Of that 85%, up to 30% turn from blues into postpartum depression, which is more severe and long-lasting. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, or if you have thoughts of harming your baby, it is time to seek additional professional help if you have not already done so. These disorders are not limited to pregnant and postpartum women alone. If you come to discuss mental health with me, we will discuss the “tool belt.” It can be difficult to acknowledge and tell others about your struggle with postpartum depression. Parenthood is a much celebrated, and often romanticized, experience in our culture. Mothers with postpartum depression may frequently wonder “what is wrong with me?” or be hesitant to admit that they are experiencing anything other than joy and sleep disruption. It is important to remember that almost one in three woman who have recently given birth have feelings of sadness, are overwhelmed, frequently feel worried or panicky, or are filled with self-doubt and blame.
There are many modalities that you and your clinician can incorporate to address mental health. While medication can be efficacious in treating mood disturbances and can increase neurotransmitter availability in our brains that are important for mood, thoughts, and feeling regulation, it is imperative to use several approaches and put as many tools in your tool belt as possible. In addition, while symptom management is important, analyzing the root cause of your symptoms is significant as you attempt to build skills to enhance coping and improve overall wellbeing. Exercise (30 minutes 5 days a week) has been shown to be an effective treatment. Therapy, self-care, sleep hygiene, and establishing meaningful relationships are a few of the tools we might discuss in helping you in your journey with mental health struggles. Having a support group of individuals who can empathize with your challenges can be helpful; however, it is essential not to compare your journey to other people’s. Lastly, changing the way you view mental health struggles can alone be empowering. Instead of focusing on the stigma that mental health carries or the negative symptoms you are experiencing, try looking at anxiety and depression as
opportunities to learn and grow. People who live with these conditions often learn to manage their symptoms by becoming kind, thoughtful, observant, and empathic to others. As you improve your coping skills and adjust the contributing factors that could be potentially magnifying the anxiety and depression, these kind, empathic, thoughtful, and observant qualities are attributes that can enhance the lives of others and yourself for the better as you go through your journey and help others. Embracing these struggles can be achieved as we change the way we look mental health. If you are struggling, please reach out and we will be here to help in any way we can. Intermountain Healthcare has various resources in place to support all types of mental health concerns. If you don’t know where to start, please call the Behavioral Health Services Navigation line at 833.442.2211. Resources: Norwitz ER, and Lye SJ. Biology of parturition. Thomas R. Moore, Charles J. Lockwood. Creasy and Resnick's Maternal Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice, edited by Robert K. Creasy RR, Jay D. Iams ; associate editors. Philadelphia, PA: Saunders Elsevier; 2009. 191032899.
28 | Winter 2022
S A F E FA M I L I E S
Five Family Safety Rules Your Family Should Consider JANE ANDERSON
contributing writer
Keeping your family safe is not a one-man (i.e., one parent) job. It requires the participation of everyone who lives in your home. Just like home safety features like smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors are imperative to keeping your family safe, safety rules at home are an important way that family members can ensure the safety of all. Take time to discuss and make safety rules as a family, then review them often. Here are five rules you may want to consider including in your family’s plan: RULE 1: KEEP THE DOORS LOCKED Despite the fact that you may living in a safe neighborhood, the National Home Security Alliance advises keeping your home doors locked. This not only minimizes cases of burglary, but also ensures children do not go outside without supervision. RULE 2: KEEP MEDICINE IN SAFE CABINETS Medicine is something that needs to be handled with care at home. Safety rules at home on storage of medicine should not be ignored by anyone. Not only is medicine risky to kids but also to some adults. Consider any dangerous or addictive medications you have in your home and ensure they are secured appropriately to avoid accidental or other dangerous usage. RULE 3: KEEP FIREARMS LOCKED UP Safe firearms storage refers to storing firearms and ammunition in a manner that minimizes the risk of unauthorized or accidental access to those items, particularly by children or thieves. Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Shooting Sports Foundation recommend that guns be stored locked and unloaded and that ammunition be stored in a different locked location. RULE 4: HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN Accidents are caused by situations that are not expected. However, it is important
to be always prepared for any emergency. Your plan should include at least an emergency contact name and number, an out-of-town contact name and number, and a neighborhood meeting place. If your children are young, consider holding emergency drills teaching them how to exit your home quickly in case of an emergency. Teach your children how to call 911 and when it is appropriate to do so. Prepare emergency “go bags” that contain enough necessities, first-aid supplies, life-sustaining medications, cash, and identification for you to survive outside of your home for three days. RULE 5: NEVER GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION TO PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET Internet technology has many benefits, but there are also many dangers that lurk online. Avoid becoming a victim by teaching all family members (including children and elderly family members) about internet dangers. Everyone should be discouraged from sharing any form of personal information via the internet or inviting someone to their home that they only know from the internet.
2nd Annual Holiday Home Light Tour
of 2021
COCOA FOR A CAUSE Best Holiday Home of Cache Valley Best Use of Holiday Music
Favorite Theme
Most Creative Use of Lights
Smithfield Lights
Over The Mountain & Through The Woods
The Griswold's
What an amazing turnout we had this year! More homes and more families to tour them. We definitely kept the Grinch from stealing the holiday spirit. Thank you to all the homeowners who shared their homes with us, sponsors, and to those who took the tour, donated to this year's charity, and joined us for the Kick Off Party. We couldn't have done this without all of you!
EVENT PRESENTED BY:
PROCEEDS DONATED TO:
EVENT SPONSORED BY:
NMLS#190465 | www.intercaplending.com | Equal Housing Lender
30 | Winter 2022
FA M I LY FA I T H
Alpine Church
This is the second article in a series featuring different faith communities in Cache Valley. The role of faith in the early settler’s day-to-day life was central. For many who call Cache Valley home today, faith continues to play a pivotal role in Valley communities and individual lives.
TARA BONE
contributing writer
Simply put, there’s a lot happening at Alpine Church on 395 South Main Street in Logan. Since beginning 10 years ago in Logan, the Bible-based nondenominational congregation has steadily grown in membership with robust Sunday worship services, community service efforts, innovative online resources, and programming for all ages. Executive Campus Pastor John Belles says it’s amazing to see what God has done from 30 to 40 people at their beginning to a thriving congregation today. All church efforts center around one thing, the Alpine mission to help people pursue God. According to Pastor John, the concept of going “full circle” is discussed often. Members are encouraged to first trust
Jesus in every area of their lives, then honor God in their life, and finally mentor others in their pursuit.
people “catch” God. The church’s online site, pursuegod.org is a conversation-based website used by churches throughout the world.
“We constantly are talking about, ‘Who are you helping pursue God today? Are you helping yourself or are you helping someone else?,’” Pastor John said. “We encourage someone who is a little farther along their journey with Jesus to come along and walk beside someone else to encourage them.”
Wendy Shelton has been a member of Alpine since the beginning in Logan and feels there is something for everyone at the church. She currently oversees the church’s “greeter team” and enjoys the Women’s Winter Bible Study group. Small groups that meet once a week or every other week at someone’s home are encouraged, and a year-long reading plan on the app YouVersion is also available.
Pastor John points out that the word pursue isn’t just an active word, it’s intentional. “You don’t pursue anything unless you feel you can catch it,” he said. Countless Alpine programs and resources are provided to help
Church activities that Wendy enjoys include the harvest party, Christmas Eve Service, Easter egg hunt, and the kid’s church for her
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grandchildren. She adds, “I love our worship teams!” A typical Sunday worship service includes a 30-minute sermon and at least four contemporary Christian worship songs. Another highlight for Wendy, and many members, are service opportunities sponsored by the church. Each year in between Christmas and New Years, Alpine heads up a “Missions Week” in which members partner with nonprofit organizations to give service. This year Alpine Church members donated and packed 500 backpacks and provided 7,300 diaper packages to the local Little Lambs Foundation. They also sent chaperoned teen groups with hundreds of backpacks to the Tarahumara indigenous tribe in Mexico. Alpine Cares Mobile Pantry is an ongoing program that collects a variety of household items that are delivered monthly to areas in Logan and Ogden. The Logan Alpine Church is part of a multi-site church that was started 20 years ago in Utah by Bryan and Tracy Dwyer. Besides Logan, there are locations in Riverdale, Layton, West Haven, Syracuse, and Brigham City. Services in Spanish are also provided at Logan and Riverdale sites, and an online service is available at alpinechurch.org.
Captions clockwise from top left: (1) Harvest Party Hay Ride. Church goer Wendy Shelton (pictured right of guitar) with worship leader Barbara Abbott; (2) Alpine Church is a nondenominational Bible-based church located at 395 South Main Street in Logan; (3) Christmas Eve service at Alpine Church; (4) Executive Campus Pastor John Belles; (5) Alpine Church goers pack meals for Feed My Starving Children during their annual Missions Week.
Happenings at Alpine:
Wherever church goers attend, Pastor John hopes that, like a hospital, those who come in broken will leave better. He has been striving to lead at Alpine in Logan for four years as lead pastor. He came to Cache Valley in 1992 to attend Utah State University where he met his wife Rhonda at a Bible study. They have four children and love their home in Wellsville.
alpinechurch.org PursueGOD.org for doctrinal topics and study resources
Service Times: Sundays 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and 12 p.m. *online service available
“Following Jesus:” A one-year Bible reading plan. Join Alpine Church members on the YouVersion Bible App.
Kid’s Church for Toddler through 5th-grade offered during 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. services.
Winterfest Youth Program: January 21-23 Alpinechurch.org/fusion Summerfest Youth Program: Date TBD
Fusion Sunday School Class for 7th- to 12th-grade students offered Sundays during 10:30 a.m. service. Fusion Youth Activity: Every Thursday at Alpine Logan 7 to 8:30 p.m. Women’s Ministry Winter Series: 5-Week Winter Bible Study
Marriage Mentor Training: January 23 Alpine Cares Outreach: Donate basic personal necessities (shampoo, toothpaste) and cleaning supplies (hand soap, toilet paper). There is an “item of the month” requested each month.
32 | Winter 2022
Create a Culture of Belonging JENTRIE HALES
community advocate, @techhealthyfamily
My earliest memory of not belonging was on the playground in kindergarten. The 6-yearold ‘popular’ girls had cute clothes, matching scrunchies, and way poofier bangs than me and made it clear that I wasn’t welcome to play “cheerleaders” with them. I still remember that deep sense of shame and longing to be accepted even as a little girl. Thankfully, I have now found my people and none of them fluff their bangs. Brene Brown, a vulnerability researcher, gives this definition of belonging in her book, Atlas of the Heart: “True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.” According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, belonging is high on the list of things we all desperately need to thrive in life. It comes only after basic physical needs and safety, and is absolutely non-negotiable to our happiness. In fact, our deep desire to belong is so hard wired, that we undoubtedly will find counterfeit versions of this by molding ourselves to fit in with the crowd. In my journey to learn more about true belonging versus fitting in, I asked some close friends and family what the two looked and felt like to them. Here is a collection of our answers: • Fitting in forces YOU to change. You chip away pieces of yourself to fit a certain mold until someday you no longer recognize the person staring back at you. Belonging is accepting all the parts of you. It feels like a warm hug. The people and relationships that make you feel like you belong will never encourage you to be anything but your true self. • Fitting in feels more like being comfortable in a group where belonging feels like you are part of a family with a shared bond and connection. • Fitting in is like squeezing into a stiff pair of jeans that are a size too small. Belonging
is adjusting your clothes to fit you and embrace your beautiful self as is. However wonderful it feels to belong somewhere, it is not a passive thing. It takes work, nurturing, and ongoing vulnerability. So how do we teach our kids and family to find true belonging in their lives? For starters, we help them know what it feels like in their own home. Some ways to do this include: 1. Love your child because of their infinite worth not because of their accomplishments. The more we only value outcomes the more they might believe their worth is conditional. Say things like, “I love exactly who you are” and “I am already proud of you.” 2. Give them the courage to feel all feelings and emotions, even the unpleasant ones. Belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging. When we say things to our kids like “you’re fine,” we are telling them that their feelings and true self aren’t welcome here. Model sharing your feelings often. “I am feeling overwhelmed right now, I am going to take a few breaths to feel better.” 3. Encourage them to develop interests and passions that they enjoy. Help them to try and
learn new things. Make sure they know that you value their interests by taking time to engage with them. If your child loves Legos, sit down on the floor with them and let them teach you about creating. If your child is into video games, join their team and learn how to play the game. As much as we would like, we cannot control how our child feels at school, or with their peers. We CAN however, foster a feeling of love and connection when they are with us. Giving your child a sense of belonging with you will undoubtedly be a fierce protector and example as they navigate belonging in their own lives. Jentrie Hales is a community advocate with five years’ experience empowering parents and children in different settings. She has been invited into classrooms, youth groups, and parent groups throughout the Cache Valley to speak about healthy relationships with tech and professionally mentors families that feel overwhelmed with managing the tech in their home. You can follow her on Instagram at @techhealthyfam or email her at techheatlhyfam@gmail.com.
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Is it Bedtime…Or Am I Being Chased By a Tiger? MICHAEL COLE, OD
Child and Family Eye Care Center
The autonomic nervous system regulates our body, balancing our normal bodily functions to maximize performance in varying situations. The sympathetic nervous system causes an increase in heart output, blood pressure, and sensory awareness (our fight or flight response). The parasympathetic nervous system stimulates digestion, secretions, and makes us tired (rest and digest). The eyes are directly affected by these systems. When faced with a threat or stressful situation, sympathetic innervation causes the eyes to defocus, dilate pupils, and increase peripheral awareness. When driving a car in a blizzard it is advantageous to gather as much information as possible so that we may assess the situation quickly, which is why our visual system responds in this way. Parasympathetic influence causes the eyes to pay more attention to detail. It causes the eyes to increase near focus, pupils shrink for better clarity, and the lacrimal gland boosts tear production. When we curl up to sleepily read a good book after a large meal our parasympathetic nervous system is in full control. (Side note: The new eye drop “vuity” that has been in commercials lately stimulates the parasympathetic actions of the eye, constricting pupils to reduce blur when looking up close). Video games have an unusual effect on our visual systems, particularly in children who are still learning and developing visual skills. When we spend time viewing near objects such as screens, the normal visual response would be parasympathetic in nature. We need to increase near focus and constrict our pupils for the best visual performance up close. Video games present a unique situation because this type of activity rewards peripheral awareness, quick reflexes, and high information intake which are all sympathetic influenced behaviors. It is inherently exciting and stimulating, further stimulating our sympathetic nervous
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system. This leads to conflicting inputs and goals for the developing visual system to achieve. Our visual systems should be focusing in and clearing up the details with near work, but video games encourage and reward the opposite. What we see increasingly in our clinics are young people with vague complaints of blur. Kids are often unable to articulate their experience — vision is blurry up close, far away, sometimes clear, sometimes not, fluctuating often. Our examinations show poor ability to shift focus, unusually large and dilated pupils, and poor visual acuity with or without glasses. These findings are visual manifestations of an overall phenomenon — over-stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system. This situation has caused the normal physiological processes in the eyes to be impeded, leading to temporarily reduced visual clarity as well as interrupting normal vision development. The National Institute of Health recently estimated that youth spend 5 to 7 hours per day on digital devices during leisure time, not including time spent on the computer in schools. Numerous studies have shown links between early excessive screen usage and poor fine motor skills, shorter attention spans, increased anxiety and depression, and poorer early developmental scores. With so much time spent on screens providing contradictory sensory input, young bodies are not sure whether to prepare to run from a tiger or to relax and wind down for bedtime. Often parents and children are frustrated when visual concerns cannot be resolved with glasses. However, in these cases the solution is just as simple — less time spent on screens. Screen time and video games don’t need to be avoided completely, but when overdone they can become detrimental.
36 | Winter 2022
F I T FA M I L I E S
Seven Ways to Promote Your Child’s Healthy Lifestyle CHERYL MAGUIRE
contributing writer
It’s important to keep your kids as healthy as possible to prevent getting sick. A child’s health encompasses physical, mental, and social well-being. My grandfather used to say, “if you have your health you have everything.” If you and your child are healthy, you will have more energy, lower medical costs, improved moods, and live longer. Here are some ways to promote healthy habits within your child: CREATE A BEDTIME ROUTINE AND REGULAR BEDTIME Sleep helps your brain function properly, which improves learning. Studies show sleep deficiency increases the risk of obesity, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. Receiving the
proper amount of sleep promotes appropriate growth and development, improves social interactions, and increases immunity against diseases. The National Heart Lung and Blood Institute (NIH) recommends school-age children and teens should sleep 9 to 10 hours per night. Bad sleep habits will affect both your physical and emotional health. One way to ensure your child is getting enough sleep is to create a scheduled bedtime based on when they need to wake up in the morning. If you maintain the same bedtime every night, it will be easier to fall asleep and create a healthy habit.
Another way to help your child receive the proper amount of sleep is to have a bedtime routine a half hour before the expected sleep time. This routine will help your child relax and fall asleep easier. Some suggested bedtime routines include reading, a warm bath, drawing, listening to soothing music, or other calming activities. ENCOURAGE HEALTHY EATING According to the Centers for Disease Controls (CDC) childhood obesity has more than tripled since 1970. Childhood obesity has both short and long-term effects on a child’s physical, social, and emotional health. For this reason,
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it is important for a child to maintain a healthy weight. Reading and understanding food labels is one way for you and your child to determine if a food is nutritious. It is also valuable to have a focus on family mealtimes. A Harvard University study found that families who eat together are twice as likely to eat the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables as families who don't eat together. Kids who eat family meals tend to eat a wider variety of foods and become less picky eaters. You can even take it a step further and include your children in meal planning, shopping, and cooking to help them develop skills for a lifetime of healthy habits. EXERCISE WITH YOUR KIDS The CDC recommends children and teens should be physically active for 60 minutes per day. The physical activity should include
aerobic, strengthening, and bone-strengthening activities. If you exercise with your child and select something you both view as fun, you will be more likely to do it. Some suggested family activities are walking, running, hiking, dancing, biking, or a workout class or video. Create a weekly scheduled routine to incorporate it into your life. LIMIT SCREEN TIME Screen time consists of watching television, playing video games, or using electronic devices. When a child is in front of a screen, they are typically sedentary and not interacting with others. A research study at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) found when kids have too much screen time they have difficulty understanding other people’s emotions. Leonard Epstein, PhD, studied the effects of limiting screen time in obese children. The findings demonstrate when screen time was limited the children consumed 300 to
1500 fewer calories. Both of these research studies demonstrate the importance of limiting screen time to help your child socially interact with others, eat fewer calories, and be more physically active. ENCOURAGE SOCIAL INTERACTIONS It is important to encourage your child to develop healthy relationships with peers and adults. Problem-solving, managing friendships, and understanding emotions are necessary for a child’s positive mental health. These skills will also enable a child to learn more effectively in the classroom. DISCUSS PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL SAFETY According to the CDC, one of the leading causes of death in children is car accidents. One study found over 600,000 children did not use the proper car seat or seat belt which could prevent death during a car accident. Other accidental deaths include drowning, fire/burns, guns, poisoning, and suffocation. To prevent injuries and death it is important to discuss safety issues regarding all of these potentially dangerous situations. Children and teenagers may be in situations when they are offered drugs or subjected to physical or sexual abuse. It is important to discuss with your child healthy and appropriate relationships. BE A HEALTHY ROLE MODEL Children and teens model their parent’s positive and negative behaviors. Research conducted at Duke University found kids were more likely to eat well and exercise if their parents modeled those behaviors. If you model a healthy lifestyle, your child will most likely lead one as well.
38 | Winter 2022
S PO N S O R E D BY
GOOD NEIGHBORS
Remembering the [REAL]TOR® Value LETICIA SHIFFLE
chief executive officer, Cache Rich Association of REALTORS®
We previously published an article addressing the common pitfalls that can take place during real estate transactions. The content focused on the risks that accompany any For Sale by Owner (FSBO) transaction, and covered topics including but not limited to: LIABILITY In an FSBO situation, liability rests with the buyers and sellers involved in the transaction. In a transaction that can be complicated and carry high risks, it’s best to let that risk ride on a REALTOR®. SCAMS Both buyers and sellers in an FSBO transaction run the risk of being taken advantage of in a scam. It’s not uncommon for scammers to provide fraudulent loan documentation and appraisal information, stage foreign buyer deposits, steal personal information, and falsify paperwork. MARKETING When it comes time to spread the word or find that perfect home, FSBO buyers and sellers are left with limited resources. A REALTOR® comes preconfigured with an established network that creates maximum exposure and increases the chances of a timely, successful transaction. Just to name a few. With so much going on in a world that can feel almost upside down, you might be wondering why it’s so important to go over it again. When you’re looking to buy or sell a home, a real estate endeavor is probably one of the biggest financial investments and transactions you’ll make in your life. It’s a lesson worth repeating.
So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room — money. Most sellers decide to go the FSBO route to avoid fees typically collected by real estate companies. It’s important to keep in mind that no matter the path you take, selling costs money, through mortgage fees, title transfer fees, escrow fees, etc. And while it’s true that a realtor is another of those fees, a seasoned realtor often more than makes up for the cost with competitive pricing and marketing. They know how to set the right price, and they’re the pros when it comes time to negotiate price
based on the features of the home. When you go it alone, you are less likely to get as high a price for your property. At the end of the day, your REALTOR® is not an expense; they’re an investment. While we’re all fans of a good DIY, some things truly are best when left to the professionals. After all, what’s the real difference between the wise man and the foolish man? The wise man used a REALTOR® when it came time to sell that house he built on the rock! Enlist the help of a REALTOR® to ensure safety and success of your real estate journey.
