Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 31, No. 10

Never Forget Thanks & Giving Let’s Go Walkabout

C R E A T I N G

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M O R E

P O S I T I V E

R E H O B O T H

November 19, 2021 Volume 31, Number 10 camprehoboth.com

inside 4 In Brief 6 Out In Delaware

A Newcomer to Baltimore Avenue DAVID MARINER

THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 31, NUMBER 10 • NOVEMBER 19, 2021

24 Historical Headliners

70 View Point

When Silence Betrays Us RICHARD ROSENDALL

Making A Run for It: Helen Stephens

72 CAMP Arts

ANN APTAKER

DOUG YETTER

26 Before the Beach

8 CAMP News 10 Community News 12 Who’s That?

That’s CAMP!

Meet the New Leaders of Women’s FEST 2022 ANITA BROCCOLINO

The Sound of Music

74 Booked Solid

MICHAEL GILLES

TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

28 Words Matter

76 Behind the Legend

16 Straight Talk

A True AIDE in the Early Days of AIDS

CHRIS AZZOPARDI

CLARENCE FLUKER

30 CAMP Houses

A Perfect Beach House RICH BARNETT

14 Volunteer Spotlight

Tracey Scott Wilson

A Word of Thanks

34 Out & Proud Thanksgiving STEFANI DEOUL

DAVID GARRETT

18 Aging Gracelessly

My Love-Hate Relationship FAY JACOBS

Halloween in Rehoboth Beach, see page 66.

38 It’s My Life

Thank You for the Music MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

40 Out & About

ERIC W. WAHL

62 Visiting View

44 Making Music

ROBERT DOMINIC

ERIC PETERSON

Chorus Couples: Those Who Play Together MICHAEL GILLES

Holidaze in Three Equal Parts ED CASTELLI

Happy Friendsgiving

’Tis the Season…for Groundcovers

Sounds About White

52 CAMP Cheers

20 Health & Wellness

60 The Real Dirt

Thanks, No Thanks: More than a Meal

64 Q-Puzzle 66 CAMPshots

A Gay Old Time—Halloween in Rehoboth Beach

84 The Writing Life

Fifty Years to Authenticity JANIS MILLS

88 Holiday Gift Guide MICKEY ROX

90 Celebrity Interview TS Madison

MICHAEL COOK

ON THE COVER Get outside!

Special thanks to Gary Fisher, our cover model. Photo by Murray Archibald.

54 CAMP Critters

MARJ SHANNON

56 Get Up and GO!

22 Working for Change

Walk this Way

Modernizing Delaware’s Hate Crimes Law CLARENCE FLUKER

BETH SHOCKLEY

58 Dining Out

Chesapeake & Maine See page 90.

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.com.

Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi).

Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date.

Letters 2 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

FAY JACOBS

PUBLISHER David Mariner EDITOR Marj Shannon EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Matty Brown DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Chris Azzopardi, Rich Barnett, Anita Broccolino, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Michael Cook, Stefani Deoul, Robert Dominic, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, David Garrett, Michael Gilles, Fay Jacobs, David Mariner, Tricia Massella, Janis Mills, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Richard Rosendall, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Beth Shockley, Marj Shannon, Eric W. Wahl, Doug Yetter

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended to in any way, sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. © 2021 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the editor.

CAMP REHOBOTH

MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE MISSION CAMP Rehoboth is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit community service organization dedicated to creating a positive environment inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Rehoboth Beach and its related communities. We seek to promote cooperation and understanding among all people, as we work to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION We create proud and safe communities where gender identity and sexual orientation are respected.

PURPOSE Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV and STI testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people.

Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies.

Networking resources and information by publishing a newsletter, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

The Way I See It

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

THE THREE PHRASES IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF OUR COVER ARE HINTS TO WHAT LIES within. This month, the first is “Never Forget.” It’s a reminder to pause as we rush into the oncoming holidays to reflect on two especially sobering annual occasions: Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20), and World AIDS Day (December 1).

These days are personal for me, just as they are for many of you. Each year, even as I am thankful that my own trans niece is thriving, I grieve for those who are not, and for those lost to us altogether. And each year, I remember how long ago I first lost a friend to AIDS; it’s been 36 years, now. I am especially thankful for the progress that has allowed other friends to live with HIV rather than follow suit. Both of these occasions will be honored in our community; see pages 4 and 5 for details.

The second phrase—Thanks & Giving—points us toward both this month’s signature holiday and the upcoming one. Among the things we at CAMP Rehoboth are thankful for: CAMP Rehoboth’s three new staff members (meet them in CAMP News) and the three women who have stepped up to co-chair Women’s FEST 2022 (see Who’s That?—That’s CAMP!).

Then there’s State Senator Marie Pinkney, who’s the primary sponsor of Senate Bill 144, which would amend Delaware’s hate crime statute in important ways. Pinkney, who is the first openly lesbian Black member of Delaware’s General Assembly, was interviewed about the bill by Clarence Fluker; see what she had to say on page 22. We’re grateful for her efforts to make things better for all Delawareans.

Maybe you’re thankful for the music (and musicians) in your life? Meet the couples of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus (page 44). Or check out Before the Beach (page 26) for an intro to a woman who—in her career as a sound engineer—helped assure the sound quality of the music making its way to our ears.

But what about the “Giving” part of that phrase? Opportunities abound! Giving Tuesday (November 30) is fast approaching. Even as we give thanks for the organizations that benefit our community, let’s also give some thought to how we can support them when that date arrives (and really, throughout the year). CAMP Rehoboth is also participating in the area’s annual drive to collect toys, hats, gloves, and coats for those in need; please donate if you can.

PRESIDENT Chris Beagle VICE PRESIDENT Wesley Combs SECRETARY Mike DeFlavia TREASURER Natalie Moss, CPA AT-LARGE DIRECTORS Jane Blue, Pat Catanzariti, Jason Darion Mathis-White, David Garrett, Leslie Ledogar, David Mariner (non-voting), Tara Sheldon, Leslie Sinclair and Bea Vuocolo EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR David Mariner DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Anita Broccolino

CAMP REHOBOTH 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.com www.camprehoboth.com

To help with the individual gift-giving, see Mikey Rox’s holiday gift guide (page 88). And, just to put yourself in a festive shopping mood, maybe indulge in one of Ed Castelli’s spectacular seasonal martinis (page 52).

That third phrase—Let’s Go Walkabout—was inspired by Beth Shockley’s piece on volkssporting (page 56). Who knew Rehoboth (and Lewes and Bethany, as well as upstate locales) were home to sanctioned volkssporting trails?! Well, now we all know—and ‘tis the season when a little more exercise might help keep off the pounds resulting from holiday indulgences. So, let’s get out there and explore!

I hope—as we move along all-too-briskly from Sea Witch® to gift guides—you can pause long enough to enjoy some of what lies in these pages. And even more, to rejoice in having found a community that welcomes and embraces our authentic selves. Resolve never to forget. To offer thanks and model giving. To go walkabout—together. Happy Thanksgiving! ▼

CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. is tax-exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to CAMP Rehoboth are considered charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law.

A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

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JOIN US on World AIDS

Day 2021 for a service of hope and remembrance. The service will take place on December 1, beginning at 7:00 p.m., at the Metropolitan Community Church, located at 19369 Plantation Road, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

World AIDS Day was first observed in 1988. Each year, organizations and individuals across the world bring attention to the HIV epidemic, work to increase HIV awareness and knowledge, speak out against HIV stigma, and call for an increased effort to end the HIV epidemic. The theme for the 2021 observance is “Ending the HIV Epidemic: Equitable Access, Everyone’s Voice.”

World AIDS Day will be available both as an in-person event at MCC Rehoboth and as a live-streamed event on the CAMP Rehoboth Facebook page. The in-person event will require proof of vaccination and masks. ▼

Rainbow Women’s Bowling League

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he Rainbow women’s bowling league is back after a year off due to COVID. Since November 3, the league has been bowling at Millsboro Lanes on Wednesday nights, starting at 6:30.

Rina Pellegrini started the Rainbow Ladies League eight years ago with only six teams. It grew to 16 teams but, due to COVID, is now down to 12 teams. Everyone is required to be vaccinated and each team sits at its own table away from the other teams.

The league is designed to be a friendly social gathering, with some bowling going on amidst the socializing. It is not as serious as local softball or golf leagues. The league is 90 percent handicapped and the averages range from 60 to 185. Everyone is welcome.

You can tell by the team names exactly how serious this league really is: They include the Striking Mummers, 3 Beers & A Water, Wrecking Balls, and Lickety Splits. But the league does keep statistics on each team and Rina tracks the high scores of teams and individuals.

The league runs until January 26, 2022. This allows snowbirds who leave in January to participate in the league. At the end of the season, team members are awarded trophies and prize money.

Interested in bowling or subbing this fall or next? Please contact Rina Pellegrini at rpelle6469@gmail.com. The Rainbow Ladies League bowls three games each Wednesday. The cost for league play is $16, and shoe rental is $2; subs bowl free.▼ Letters 4 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Giving Tuesday at CAMP Rehoboth ON NOVEMBER 30, 2021, commemorate Giving Tuesday by contributing to the mission of CAMP Rehoboth. Stay tuned to CAMP Rehoboth’s social media and camprehoboth.com to see how you can get involved. ▼

Community Unity Dinner

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t’s back! Rehoboth Beach Main Street will again be hosting the Community Unity Dinner. This year’s pasta dinner, provided by Sazio and Big Fish Charitable Foundation, will be held on Sunday, December 5, from 4:30 to 7:30pm. Nick Caggiano Sr. will be honored as the 2021 Citizen of the Year.

Join friends, neighbors, and downtown merchants for this annual dinner, which includes children’s activities, holiday music, a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Claus, performances from The Nutcracker and by the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, and an ice cream bar. Tickets are $20.00 per person, and free for children under 10.

Tickets can be purchased at the door, at http://bitly/Community_Unity_Tickets, or by contacting the RBMS Office (302227-2772). For more information, contact Jen Carroll at jcarrollpink@gmail.com. ▼

Toy (and Hats/Gloves/Coats) Drive

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hrough December 11, CAMP Rehoboth Community Center will be a drop-off site for the annual Rehoboth Beach Toy Drive. This is the 15th year that CAMP Rehoboth is participating in a community collection of toys, hats, gloves, and coats for community members in need. This year, the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) is stepping up to help. You can make this year’s holidays brighter for families in need, in partnership with the Rehoboth Beach Bears and other groups

and individuals, by signing up to manage and sort the items for the drive.

The donated items will be provided to ACE Peer Resources Center, Christiana Care HIV Wellness Center, and other community organizations that serve those in need. Thank you for making this year special for the children and families of our community. During this time, more than ever, they need joy in their lives, and your donations will help provide it. ▼

Orgullo Delaware!

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rgullo Delaware is a new organization for LGBTQIA Latinx individuals and their families in the state of Delaware. Orgullo Delaware is a platform responsible for education, resources, and social networking. They provide: bilingual gender and sexuality-focused therapy, empowerment groups, and foundational intersectionality trainings. For more information e-mail OrgulloDelaware@gmail.com or find them on facebook at fb.com/OrgulloDelaware.▼

Freddie’s Beach Bar & Grill Grand Opening

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reddie’s Beach Bar & Grill celebrated its grand opening with a ribbon cutting ceremony on Saturday, October 30.

Freddie was joined by Mayor Stan Mills, Rehoboth Beach Main Street Director Dan Slagle, and CAMP Rehoboth Executive Director David Mariner. Renowned Cher impersonator Steve Andrade entertained for the evening and, in pure Cher fashion, had a new (stunning!) outfit for each number.

Stop by Freddie’s and say hi to the Barbies at 3 South 1st Street! ▼

Transgender Day of Remembrance

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n Saturday, November 20, Rehoboth TransLiance, in conjunction with Safe Harbor United Church of Christ and the Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth, will be holding a vigil. The vigil takes place at 7:00 p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth.

So far, the past year has been marred by 44 deadly acts of violence against transgender people. The 44 name readers will receive a memorial ornament provided by Salisbury PFLAG. This year will pay special attention to love and community. The vigil will feature keynote speaker Murray Archibald, local artist and co-founder (along with his late husband, Steve Elkins) of CAMP Rehoboth.

Three young, current and future leaders of our community—Mikey Shock, Jazminara Aran, and Alex Delise—will be honored for their activism, educational outreach, and service to the community.

There will be a reading the names of transgender people killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.

This is the fifth Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil in Rehoboth; it is hoped it will be an annual event until the bigotry ends.

This event will be podcast by Jack Bucchioni at BlueCoastTalk.com. ▼

CAMP Rehoboth Has Its Own Dogfish Head Beer

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AMP Rehoboth’s own Dogfish Head beer launched on October 20. Through the end of December, a percentage of each sale of the seasonal Dogfish Head Au Courant Beer (which includes CAMP Rehoboth on the label) will help support CAMP Rehoboth’s community services and health and wellness classes. ▼ NOVEMBER 19, 2021

5 Letters

OUT in Delaware

BY DAVID MARINER, CAMP REHOBOTH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

A Newcomer to Baltimore Avenue

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rooklyn native Andrea Neal’s latest culinary adventure began with a leisurely walk through downtown Rehoboth. During the pandemic, she came to Dover to stay with her mother, and found herself enjoying time at the beach. Andrea noticed some of the staples we all know and love: French fries, popcorn, fudge. She began wondering, however, about healthier (but convenient) food options. This led to her decision to open a restaurant in our neighborhood.

The best ingredients have always been a focus for Neal, who has worked at Michelin star restaurants and well-known establishments such as Jean Georges in New York. When she first branched out on her own, providing meal prep to celebrities and athletes (including Giancarlo Stanton who plays for the New York Yankees), she knew that healthy, locally sourced ingredients would be key. Working as a celebrity chef she has also learned how to adapt to many different dietary paths, including assuring keto, vegetarian, and gluten-free options are available.

She brought those values when she opened her first business, Addictive Toast, in San Francisco. Neal’s business started in 2017, providing gourmet avocado toast at eight farmers markets in the bay area. Her farm fresh, healthy approach resonated with her California clients. The business became so popular, in 2018 she was hired by Google to provide her food at their corporate headquarters.

While that business continues, her new focus is a little shop on Baltimore Avenue—33A Baltimore Avenue, formerly Rudy’s Cheese Shop, will become Addictive Tacos.

Andrea’s new establishment will focus on street tacos and margaritas, which she believes will be a perfect healthy and convenient beach food. Andrea has been studying up especially on how to make the perfect fish taco. While the focus has shifted to tacos, the farm-to-table approach will continue to be key. Andrea looks forward to sourcing fresh local ingredients and supporting local farmers while making her own pico de gallo, crema, and salsas.

Andrea is excited to be part of the LGBTQ scene on Baltimore Avenue. She always knew Rehoboth Beach had an active LGBTQ community but did not realize how many LGBTQ-owned businesses are on our street until after she signed the lease! As an out (and single) gay women, she is looking forward to getting more involved in the community.

Welcome, Andrea! ▼ David Mariner is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

Letters 6 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

The business became so popular, in 2018 she was hired by Google to provide her food at their corporate headquarters.

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7 Letters

CAMPNews Meet CAMP Rehoboth’s New Staff NEW YOUTH COORDINATOR Hyde Nichols (they/them) joined CAMP Rehoboth’s staff as the new Youth Coordinator in October. They came from Portland, Oregon, where for five years they were an advocate and mentor for youth experiencing sexual exploitation, houselessness, and foster care. Now a resident of Rehoboth, Hyde is excited to continue their work as an advocate for local LGBTQ+ youth and continue the great work of former Youth Coordinator Barbara Antlitz, who spearheaded the YOUTH Up program at CAMP Rehoboth.

Hyde’s penchant for mentoring youth comes from a personal place. “I didn’t know I was trans/non-binary when I was young,” Hyde said. “The language we have today and examples of trans adults weren’t there for me.” Hyde also points to a common thread that’s present for a lot of trans and gender-nonconforming youth: they often do not see a future for themselves. “I never saw myself living past 25—I just thought I’d turn into a pumpkin or not be here.” Now just over 30, Hyde is excited “to show parents and youth that there is a future, and we have to create it for each other. It happens through community, mentorship, and open communication.” Please join us in welcoming Hyde!

NEW HIV TESTING STAFF AMBER LEE (she/her/hers) has lived in Sussex County since 2009. With a bachelor’s degree in psychology, she’s currently working on her master’s degree in human services at Wilmington University. As a Certified Nursing Assistant since 2003, Amber has previously worked with patients living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, and has specialized in working with veterans.

Previously, Amber volunteered with CAMP Rehoboth’s Young Professionals Left to right: Deborah Bosse and Amber Lee Group and as a mentor in CAMP Rehoboth’s YOUTH Up program. As a new HIV Testing Counselor, Amber is excited to be “supporting the community and helping to reduce the stigma of HIV.” On what that stigma may look like nowadays, from Amber’s perspective, “the younger generation don’t necessarily understand what the older generation went through with this virus,” noting how CAMPSafe’s prevention and education programs are crucial for the community at large.

DEBORAH BOSSE (she/her/hers) is a nurse educator, with experience in public health, peri-operative services, and everything OR (operating room). Deborah earned her master’s in nursing education and moved to Lewes from northern Virginia two months before the lockdown. Now, she says, she’s “finally excited to get out into the community!”

In her new role as an HIV Testing Counselor, Deborah is excited at the opportunity to create a safe space for people to get tested and to make people feel comfortable about getting tested. Deborah looks forward to creating spaces for folks to feel safe asking questions, and to give them the care they need. On the importance of a program like CAMPsafe, Deborah hopes others understand that “HIV education and prevention is important—you have to have it. It’s important to give folks the tools they need to make well-informed choices about their sexual health and avoid risk factors.”

Join us in welcoming Amber and Deborah! ▼ Letters 8 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

RAPID-FIRE QUESTIONS FOR NEW STAFF BIGGEST PASSIONS HYDE: I’m passionate about social justice and empowering our most marginalized/oppressed.

Black Lives Matter means a lot, and Indigenous rights and sovereignty, too.

AMBER: I love advocating for the LGBTQ community and creating safe spaces. Other than that, hiking, gardening, and traveling anywhere for a day or week.

DEBORAH: It’s the nurse within me; treating people with dignity and respect and making them feel comfortable is paramount. Also, using pronouns and addressing people how they’d prefer is important.

MOST RECENT BINGE HYDE: The L Word: Generation Q. AMBER: The Zoo on Animal Planet about the Bronx Zoo. DEBORAH: On Amazon, I love specials by Eddie Izzard, an English trans comic and actor. Plus, You on Netflix is a good psychological spellbinder.

LATEST MUSIC OBSESSION HYDE: Megan Thee Stallion is my main celebrity crush. Princess Nokia, too—I saw her in Philly.

AMBER: Adele’s “Easy on Me”—it has such a universal message.

DEBORAH: I love Elton John—I have tickets to his farewell tour in September 2022!

MOST IRRATIONAL FEAR HYDE: The ocean. I can slip my feet in, though!

AMBER: Spiders!

DEBORAH: I’m not going to tell you that!

FAVORITE DISH HYDE: Enchiladas and breakfast sandwiches. Don’t get me started about when they can combine the two!

AMBER: Shrimp or crab, and especially shrimp tacos.

DEBORAH: Anything seafood—lobster, crab, shrimp. ▼

CAMPNews Music & Memory Program Set to Come to a Library Near You

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usic & Memory, a partnership between the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, Friends Music & Memory Project, and Sussex County Public Libraries, is a free program designed to use personalized music for enjoyment and to improve the quality of life for people with memory issues. Supported by scientific research and anecdotal evidence, it can be used any time throughout the day to calm as well as uplift and bring individuals into the present. Music & Memory can be used for

CROP at the Food Bank

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t was another great day at the Food Bank on November 2! The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) team of nine filled over five pallets—388 boxes of nutritious food items provided by the US Department of Agriculture. That’s 388 families who will receive a much-needed boost to their kitchen pantries. CROP’s next outing to the Food Bank will be Tuesday, January 4. ▼

Holiday Handmade Market

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is the season! Shop for this year’s stocking stuffers from a variety of local artists and makers at CAMP Rehoboth for the Holiday Handmade Market Extravaganza on December 10 from 4-8 p.m. With no entry fee, support local artists and vendors who offer oneof-a-kind items. Stay tuned to CAMP Rehoboth’s socials and camprehoboth.com for more info. ▼

those with Alzheimer’s, dementia, chronic pain, in dialysis, and in hospice.

To participate, contact info@camprehoboth.com to fill out an application. A certified volunteer will meet with you to develop a personalized playlist and load music onto an MP3 player. Participants will be able to check out completed Music & Memory kits with a Delaware library card and can keep the kits as long as needed.

Kits are available at libraries in Georgetown, Lewes, Milford, and Seaford. ▼

Introducing the Lesbian Widow Social Network

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ou’re invited to join us for a networking meeting for all LGBTQ women who are widows. The first meeting will be on January 5, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth. The group will tentatively meet on the first Wednesday of every month thereafter. At the first meeting the group will brainstorm about social events and activities they would like to participate in together. Join us! ▼

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e attorn d e r i t 1. Re eal Estate FT R 16712 Kings Highway, Lewes Agent 302.645.6661 e c i v r e S tomer t! s u C .

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

9 Letters

CommunityNews Broadcasting Rehoboth’s Queer History

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umorist and storyteller Fay Jacobs loves to talk about Rehoboth’s LGBTQ history. She’s written countless stories about that history over the years in Letters, given numerous Zoom programs about it, and has even gone on record in the Rehoboth Museum’s oral history project. As of this month, she will be sharing her stories each Thursday on Radio Rehoboth, 99.1 FM. Her tales cover early LGBTQ visitors and celebrities, organizations, social events, historic gay bars and restaurants, and beaches. From the rise of fine dining amid a sea of fried shrimp to a hideout after a scandalous murder mystery, Rehoboth’s gay history has it all.

Fay’s reports, one story per Thursday, on Rehoboth’s Past, Present and Fabulous Future will air 6:30 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 3:30 p.m., and 7:30 p.m.

Listeners can also hear the stories on RadioRehoboth.com. This community radio station is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and donations are welcome. ▼

Letters Writer Will Be Signing Books at Browseabout

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ric Peterson, a long-time columnist with Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, will be at Browseabout Books on Sunday morning, December 5, 10-noon, for a book signing for his debut novel, Loyalty, Love & Vermouth. While most of the book is set in the Washington, DC area, key scenes take place in Rehoboth Beach and Provincetown.

The novel, based on a gripping true story, is fast-paced, humorous, “and the toe-tapping, feel-good novel of the season!” according to Lambda Literary Award winner Ann McMan. Award-winning writer Michael Nava says “It’s a heart-warming and charming tale of love, loss and community—a delightful read.”

Based on the Washington Post headline, “The Case of the Purloined Pooch,” the book combines the true story of a dognapping with wry contemporary fiction about a group of friends—loyal, campy, and fun, banding together to help one of their own in a time of crisis.

Loyalty, Love & Vermouth is published by Bold Strokes Books and is available at the publisher’s website, Bookshop.org, and locally at Browseabout Books.▼

Planned Parenthood Welcomes Volunteers

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lanned Parenthood is opening a new facility in Seaford, Delaware. The Seaford office will be their fourth location in Delaware and their only location in Sussex County. Planned Parenthood is committed to creating a world where everyone has access to the health and education services they need, and volunteers play a crucial role in that work. If you are interested in volunteering in Seaford, or any of their locations, contact the volunteer office at (302) 655-7232 or email your name, phone number, and home address to ppde-info@ppde.org, attn: Volunteer Department. ▼ Letters 10 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Roseate Spoonbill Photograph Wins Best in Show at Prime Hook Contest

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dward Crawford’s Roseate Spoonbill photograph won the Best in Show in the Friends of Prime Hook National Wildlife Refuge’s annual nature photography contest. Crawford captured the photo at Bombay Hook National Wildlife Refuge, where a group of four spoonbills were feeding earlier this year for several weeks.

The tropical spoonbills are rarely seen this far north and are more typical of Florida or Gulf coast regions. The birds may have been blown north by strong tropical storms or hurricanes.

Twenty-eight photographers submitted 139 photos in this year’s contest. The show will be on display at the Refuge auditorium (11978 Turkle Pond Road, Milton) until December 11. The public is welcome to drop by to view some of the best nature photography in the region. ▼

Small Business Saturday

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aturday, November 27, marks this year’s Small Business Saturday, a day devoted to encouraging shoppers to support local businesses and establishments. Be sure to stop by downtown Rehoboth Beach, stock up on holiday gifts, and patronize your favorite businesses. In last year’s proclamation commemorating Small Business Saturday, the City of Rehoboth Beach commissioners and Mayor Stan Mills said, “The City of Rehoboth Beach supports our local businesses that create jobs, boost our local economy, and preserve our communities.”

They noted that such businesses were responsible for 64.9 percent of net new jobs created from 2000 to 2018. ▼

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Contact me to see how I can help you or provide a second opinion.

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

11 Letters

WHO’s That?... That’s CAMP!

BY ANITA BROCCOLINO, CAMP REHOBOTH DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR

Meet the New Leaders of Women’s FEST 2022!

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f you are going to produce a legendary, four-day regional women’s event that brings together over 1,000 women, is filled with sports, dance parties, music, the arts, comedy performances, multiple speakers, a cancer walk, and more, you had better have the right background to prepare you! Luckily, the three new chairs of CAMP Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST 2022 do!

To illustrate, here is the short list of their accomplishments, things they do for fun, and/or things they can’t resist: One was once an alligator trainer and caretaker, one was a Barney the Beagle roller skating performer, and one was a professional golf cart driver at the Dinah Shore Golf Classic.

Among the three, one or more of them also love: music, the stock market, penny stocks, purple (the color), scuba diving, dancing, the theatre, fast cars, and one is an avid video gamer who can handily beat most 20-somethings.

I’ll let you find out for yourselves which of these women is connected to which of those likes, talents, and jobs, but what I will share is that CAMP Rehoboth is excited to announce the three new co-chairs of women’s FEST 2022: Lisa Soens, Hope Vella, and Teri Seaton.

They recognize that they will be standing on the shoulders of community giants Nancy Hewish, Fay Jacobs, and Dottie Cirelli, who all have agreed to guide, support, and mentor the new crew this year. The new co-chairs also recognize they have their work cut out for them, but they committed to bringing a first-class, fun, well-run festival to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

Says Lisa Soens, who was on-board to help lead last year’s Women’s FEST (had a majority of the event not been canceled due to the pandemic), “I’m excited to have found two cochairs for Women’s FEST 2022. They will help us renew the momentum as COVID winds down (we hope), and also bring a few fresh events and new volunteers.”

It’s clear these women have what it takes to make the 21st CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST a huge success. All three have been very successful in their professional lives, have entrepreneurial spirits and endeavors, and all are devoted to volunteerism and the community at large. Combined, they volunteer for many Letters 12 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Pictured above, top to bottom:

Lisa Soens Hope Vella Teri Seaton

other local community organizations: MERR, Clear Space Theatre, Delaware Tech, the SPCA, ASPCA, Southern Delaware Alliance for Racial Justice, Epworth and other food pantries, and Possum Point Theatre. One serves as an educational advocate for former clients who receive special education services. That isn’t even the entire list.

All three are striving to deliver what is needed most right now for the community, for CAMP Rehoboth, and for Women’s FEST: more inclusivity, more gender equity, and more diversity.

These dynamic and fun women still need some other folks to help them both dream up and accomplish all these great plans. “We can’t do it without more community involvement and other CAMP Rehoboth members,” says Teri Seaton. “And we are committed to being welcoming and inclusive to all,” adds Hope Vella.

Asked why she would encourage other members to volunteer, Lisa was ready with a list of great reasons: ■ To support and help raise funds for the CAMP Rehoboth arts, health and wellness classes, and free services ■ To be a part of the premier women’s event in the Mid-Atlantic region ■ To increase interaction and cooperation and inclusivity among women regardless of race, religion, age, physical abilities, financial status, gender expression, or sexual orientation ■ To help the committee ensure an environment for personal and cultural enrichment through the promotion of high-quality arts and entertainment, sports, networking, and educational forums.

She quickly added with her dry humor and cute smirk: “Oh, and let’s not forget too—the chance to find a wife!”

Come join what may be one of the most fun (and at times feisty) committees you have ever been a part of. It may—I daresay—also be one of the most successful and satisfying ones.

If you see Lisa, Hope, or Teri around town and someone asks—“Who’s that?”—now you know and can share: They are CAMP—they are members and the leaders of CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST 2022, that is. ▼ Anita Broccolino is Development Director for CAMP Rehoboth.

APRIL 7 - 10, 2022

’Cause Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Featuring Chely Wright & Comedy Trio Funny Girlz!

S AV E THE DAT E !

FEST PASSES AVAILABLE

BEGINNING MID-FEBRUARY

WOMEN’S FEST IS BACK!*

Cheer! Country superstar Chely Wright, at the RB Convention Center!

Laugh! Funny Girlz starring a trio of favorites in an all-new show.

Vickie Shaw, Lisa Koch and Roxanna Ward, Atlantic Sands Hotel

Play! Golf, pickleball, bike ride, corn hole tournament, walking tour, beach yoga and more.

Dance! Thursday Georgette Krenkel’s Kick Off Party, and “Ladies” returns, both at the RB Convention Center!

Experience! Keynote and very special speakers TBA

Discover! Popular Craft Expo, bingo, singles mixer, art show, Olivia cruise raffle plus Regina Sayles and other popular artists in the Elkins-Archibald Atrium at CAMP. Friday & Saturday

Remember! Honor loved ones and fight cancer: Broadwalk on the Boardwalk.

Stay! 30% discount at host hotel The Atlantic Sands until December 30, 2021 and 20% discount given if booked in 2022 Tell them you’re here for Women’s FEST! 302-227-2511. *If needed, COVID precautions in place.

FOR INFORMATION CALL 302-227-5620 OR VISIT CAMPREHOBOTH.COM CAMP Rehoboth ad_2022_full page.indd 1

10/4/21 AM NOVEMBER 19, 2021 1310:39 Letters

Volunteer Spotlight

Spotlighting One of Our Own

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his issue, we turn the spotlight on CAMP Rehoboth volunteer Karen Laitman, who typically writes this column!

Born in New York City, Karen moved to Raleigh, North Carolina, when she was 10 years old and, in 1996, to Delaware. In the 1990s, she worked in the travel industry at American Airlines and for 15 years for American Express Travel in Wilmington, Delaware. While working at American Express, her director walked around the office one day with his daughter, who was 10 years old. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, the same director walked around the office with his daughter again—but now, she was going off to college.

Karen had a “come to Jesus” moment.

She knew she wanted more from her life; she wanted to work with people with developmental and learning disabilities.

She wanted to be an art teacher and help kids be empowered and confident.

At the age of 40, Karen received her bachelor’s degree in behavioral science, and then her master’s degree in special education. For over 20 years, Karen has worked with people with developmental disabilities and has found her meaning and purpose. Karen works for the State of Delaware with the Division of Developmental Disability Services; she loves every second of every day.

convention center down to the Cultured Pearl. When I got there, I told them that Jennifer Holliday was appearing in concert, and she wanted a cup of tea in

When did you start volunteering at CAMP Rehoboth?

I started volunteering in 2019, at Women’s FEST. I now serve on the CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Development committee, and the CAMP Rehoboth CROP (CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program) leadership committee.

a mug. They gave me a pot of hot water, a ceramic mug, and several teabags. I ran back to the convention center. When I arrived, I was ushered to the back room where Ms. Holliday was. I put the pot of hot water and mug with tea bags on the table and turned around to leave.

Ms. Holiday asked me my name, looked me in my eyes, and with all sincerity said, “thank you, Karen.” That was my best volunteering-with-CAMP-Rehoboth memory to date.

What is your best memory of volunteering with CAMP Rehoboth?

My best memory is a very recent one.

I volunteered at the Jennifer Holliday concert at Sun Festival this year. I was asked to run an errand: Ms. Holliday wanted a hot cup of tea in ceramic mug. I ran as fast as I could, out of the Letters 14 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

that they were going to Rehoboth for the weekend. I never knew what that meant.

When I moved to Delaware in 1996, I took a day trip down to Rehoboth and it was love at first sight. I officially moved to the Rehoboth area in 2008.

If you had an extra hour in the day, what would you do?

I have four amazing dogs (Michael, Chloe, Dolce, and Princess Puglet). I would spend that extra hour loving on all four of them.

When I moved to Delaware in 1996, I took a day trip down to Rehoboth and it was love at first sight.

How long have you been coming to Rehoboth?

I spent a lot of time in Washington DC in the 80s and 90s. Everybody would say

The LGBTQ community has made significant progress in the fight for equality over recent years. Did you expect to see this in your lifetime?

In the 1980s, several times I went to the marches on Washington. I remember going to gay pride in North Carolina in the 1990s; one year it was supposed to be held in Raleigh, but that particular year they had us double-booked with a KKK rally. We were relocated to Duke University, in Durham, North Carolina.

When I went to gay pride events in the 80s and 90s the lesbians, gay men, and the transgender community were very low-key, restrained, and modest to a degree. I have seen the pendulum swing. Three years ago, I went to Philadelphia’s gay pride, and I was in awe. The teens, the kids, the younger generations were “OUT and PROUD.” It was simply amazing to see the multigenerational, cultural openness to our LGBTQ community.

What is your high favorite holiday and why?

My favorite holiday is New Year’s Day. That day is very meaningful for me because I have to have hope. A renewed hope. It’s just that simple.

What are you most thankful for?

I am most thankful for my beloved dogs who have passed on, my current dogs, and my two outside cats, Anthony and Fauci. I am also so grateful for the amazing support system of friends who have taken me in as family. I am beyond grateful for that. ▼

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Reservations: 301-227-3100 • www.justinthymerestaurant.com 38163 Robinsons Drive • Rehoboth Beach (the corner of Hwy. 1 & Robinsons Drive)

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

15 Letters

Straight Talk

BY DAVID GARRETT

A True AIDE in the Early Days of AIDS

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IV/AIDS has been fatal to tens of millions of persons around the world. In the early 1980s, it led to death for those who contracted it. Yet over the past four decades, treatment and medication have improved to the point that HIV/AIDS is now considered a chronic health condition. While there still is no cure, and once contracted a person will have it for life, it does not necessarily mean that one’s life will be diminished or jeopardized.

A Rehoboth Beach physician was at the forefront of the battle with HIV/AIDS. Back in the 1980s and early 1990s, he experienced the deaths of 20+ friends and two others with whom he had a loving relationship. This physician rose to the challenge of caring for those who suffered from it. His name is Dr. Thomas F. Kelly.

Dr. Kelly, or Thom as he prefers, grew up in New York City in a working-class family. His career in healthcare started when he joined the Air Force Reserves in 1981 as a medic; he later went to nursing school at Columbia University, graduating in 1986. Thom recalled caring for people with AIDS as early as 1982 at Bellevue and later Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. He recalled in the very early days there were times when staff would refuse to go into the rooms of people with AIDS. Thom notes that three of the six men in his nursing school class died of AIDS. Working at Bellevue as a new RN, he was part of a team that opened a virology clinic; this was one of the first clinics in NYC to start antiretroviral therapy for people with AIDS. After this professional experience, Thom moved to Beth Israel Medical Center where he was the nursing coordinator for the infectious disease clinic. After that, he held the same position at the Village Nursing Home’s AIDS day treatment program. Here many of his friends and patients began to pass away from AIDS. Due to some connections he had in the medical field, Thom was able to get friends’ samples of blood tested anonymously. At least then they would know for sure what lay ahead.

As he shared, “We were scared. Everyone was afraid to get tested. We knew we were positive if our T cells were low. Within the gay community, circles of friends began caring for one another. We saw our friends head back to the places where they grew up.

Most went home to die. What made it worse was that

He recalled in the very early days there were times when staff would refuse to go into the rooms of people with AIDS.

Letters 16 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

many of them were estranged from their families. A good number died alone.”

Things began to change in the late 1980s and then 1990s, according to Thom. The sheer magnitude of the crisis, the bravery of long-term survivors, the introduction of combination anti-retroviral medications, the spotlight brought about by the celebrities with HIV, the incredible AIDS activism that continues to this date, and the families and friends of those who died who honored the legacies of their fallen loved ones began to turn the tide against stigma, and fewer and fewer people succumbed to HIV/AIDS. It was during these years that Thom decided, at age 31, to go to medical school. In 1998, he attained Doctor of Medicine at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. Right before starting Hopkins, Thom lost his first lover, Anthony; in the middle of medical school, he lost his second lover, Obie. Right about the time he graduated he lost his best friend, Peter.

Thom’s medical years were intertwined with eulogies. Even so, at Hopkins he was president of the Gertrude Stein Society and worked to help introduce gay health into the medical school curriculum. As a medical resident at Brown University, he worked on diarrheal opportunistic infections in pediatric patients with HIV. He also published the first-of-its-kind national survey of US pediatric residency programs on pediatric LGBTQ healthcare access.

In 2000, he became Board Certified in Internal Medicine and decided it was time for a new focus in his medical practice. That year, he decided to work with people with disabilities and moved to Delaware where he worked as chief physician for the Delaware Division of Developmental Disabilities Services. And then 10 years ago, Thom and his life partner, Ahmen Elmanan, decided to open a primary care medical practice. They opened it on December 1, 2011—on World AIDS Day. As we approach the upcoming World AIDS Day 2021, pause to remember those who are no longer with us. Let’s also congratulate Dr. Thom Kelly’s 10th anniversary of his practice in Rehoboth Beach. He brings compassion to his patients, commitment to equality for all, and conveys hope to those in the LGBTQ community who need it. Dr. Thom Kelly, well done. ▼ David Garrett, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a straight advocate for equality and inclusion. He is also the proud father of an adult trans daughter. Email David Garrett at davidg@camprehoboth.com.

This year there are multiple ways to safely participate in this important day of remembrance.

WORLD AIDS DAY

A Service of Remembrance and Hope

Schedule 0f Events WORLD AIDS DAY | DECEMBER 1 SERVICE 7:00 PM ▶ A Service of Remembrance and Hope held at the Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth Beach, 19369 Plantation Road. (Parking is available both at the church and the medical clinic next door.)

NAMES ▶ To have the name of a family member or friend who has died from AIDS added to the list of names to be honored at the service, call the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center, 302227-5620, or email info@camprehoboth.com

LOGIN ▶ If you can’t make it to the service, login at 7:00 PM to the CAMP Rehoboth Facebook page and see the event live.

FOR MORE INFORMATION visit the CAMP Rehoboth website at camprehoboth.com.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

17 Letters

Aging Gracelessly

BY FAY JACOBS

My Love-Hate Relationship

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olks who know me understand that I have a strong love-hate relationship with technology.

Take my phone. Please (as an old-time comic would say). I love the camera, pre-ordering Louie’s pizza online, plus having a computer in hand 24/7 to search names of actors, movies, and books which I know as well as my own name but cannot retrieve in simple conversation.

I hate robots calling me about the IRS coming after me or a warranty opportunity for my 17-year-old Lexus.

And talking about cars, I love that my antique vehicle still has a CD player. In my lifetime I’ve religiously replaced my entire Broadway show collection from vinyl (although we didn’t call it that in the 60s) to bulky 8-track, to cassette (having a pencil handy to fix runaway tape), to my beloved CDs. Siri and Alexa both have trouble pulling up “Jubilation T. Cornpone” from Li’l Abner or “I’m in Love with a Girl Named Fred” from Once Upon a Mattress. Someday, an undertaker will pry a CD from my cold, dead hand.

Alternately, I just hate that my car doesn’t read me my texts. I despise pulling off the road to answer a text, because apparently, I am psychologically unable to wait an effing second to find out what’s happening.

And then it’s a text offering me money to put a useless product logo on my car.

I will say that if Grey Goose contacted me, I might consider the gig.

I also really hate that my old car doesn’t make ominous warning beeps if I drift out of my lane. I could use the help when I’m in a coma on a summer Saturday creeping along Route One. My wife has a newer car. I love that you only have to have the key somewhere on your person to start the ignition.

I hate that you only need have the key somewhere on your person to start the ignition. When I pull into my driveway and exit the vehicle, I have to Letters 18 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

give myself a complete TSA pat down of pockets or purse to find the keys to open the front door. Last night, by the time I did everything but a strip search, I discovered I’d I left my keys back in the car cupholder. I was drenched, cold, and asking Bonnie, “Is it time to leave for Florida yet?”

Also, I hate when her car tries to help me park. I learned to drive in New York City. Goodness knows, I can parallel park. I get so confused watching the orange squiggles on the dashboard, when I finally make the car’s parking adviser happy, I need an Uber to get from the car to the curb.

And how about those QR codes restaurants post on their tables in lieu of menus. I love that Kevin McDuffie from Aqua showed me how use it.

And then there’s my new washing machine. I love that it’s so great looking as I’ve always been a form-over-function gal. I love all its fancy bells and whistles for water temp, spin, and rinse cycles.

I hate that the top loader is so deep and I’m so short that I need salad tongs to retrieve my underpants.

And how about those QR codes restaurants post on their tables in lieu of menus. I love that Kevin McDuffie from Aqua showed me how to use it. I felt very proud of myself and quite up-todate. And it worked great to read their menu.

I hate when I use the QR code in a restaurant with a crappy web site and it takes forever to figure out what’s for

lunch. Here’s my plea—restaurants, if you are going to make diners use high tech, make the site easier to navigate.

And finally, I love my GPS. I have absolutely no innate sense of direction, so GPS has improved my life immeasurably.

But I hate exiting the car, stuffing it in my pocket, and forgetting to turn it off.

This summer, when I was traveling home from Vermont, we stopped at a rest stop so I could go to the bathroom. I was in the very process of sitting down, nearly in full squat, when my pocket announced, “When possible, make a U-turn.”

There’s even a high tech (sort of), low-tech love-hate ratio to our upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Forgive me for reaching here a bit.

I love canned cranberry sauce, compete with the tell-tale rings on the jellied blob on the plate. There, I’ve said it.

And at peril of insulting some of the fine amateur and professional chefs I know, I really don’t love (hate is too extreme) cranberry sauce recipes with whole cranberries, vanilla, cinnamon, or a touch of orange peel, etc. Sorry.

But whatever you love or hate from the Thanksgiving table, I wish all Letters readers who celebrate the holiday with their bio families or families of choice, a very happy Thanksgiving indeed. ▼ Fay Jacobs is the author of five published books and is touring with her one-woman sit-down comedy show, Aging Gracelessly. Her reports on Rehoboth’s LGBTQ history can be heard on RadioRehoboth, 99.1.

O LIVIA WISH ES YOU

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

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19 Letters

health+wellness

By Marj Shannon

Happy Friendsgiving!

S

everal years ago, a friend told me her son (always an early-adopter) would be hosting Friendsgiving in late-November. It was the first time I’d heard the word; it seemed to me a strange mash-up.

I had been hosting friends for Thanksgiving for decades, but we’d never called it anything but “Thanksgiving.” The fact that we were spending it with friends v. families-oforigin (or procreation) didn’t impact the holiday’s name. We still were thankful, after all; still talked about what we were grateful for. So—why “Friendsgiving”?

I’ve learned more about the word since that first mention. For example, it’s a relatively recent word. Written usage appears to date back only to about 2007, when it turned up in Usenet posts and tweets. Spoken usage likely preceded written usage by a year or two; new words often are spoken before they begin to appear in print.

It’s also morphed in its definition over even that very short period of time. Originally, it connoted an informal gathering of friends on or around Thanksgiving Day. It might be either an alternative to the traditional holiday gathering, or a friends-centric addition to the holiday weekend. But over its 14year lifespan, it’s grown into a holiday (of sorts) of its own. There now are menus, how-tos, and lifestyle guides devoted to the successful Friendsgiving celebration.

Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary—where Friendsgiving officially arrived in January 2020—the term’s banner year, kickstarting its rise to national prominence, likely was 2011.

That year, Bailey’s Irish Cream featured the word in an ad campaign, and it was used in an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The rest is history.

I’ll still be hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, for all that it will be attended almost exclusively by friends (aka my family of choice). We will be

Letters 20 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

especially thankful this year; last year, we couldn’t gather for the meal as we had over many prior years. We’ll be doubly thankful that we’re all still here

…a sense of gratitude can be cultivated. One does not need to have been born with a sunny disposition to develop a bright (or at least brighter) outlook. to gather—we’re only too aware that’s not the case for everyone.

All that gratitude, it turns out, may well have some health benefits beyond the momentary giving of thanks. Per Harvard Health, research shows that acknowledging the goodness in our lives helps us connect to something beyond ourselves, e.g., to other people, to nature, or to a higher power.

Gratitude also is strongly associated with greater happiness. It may be that cataloging good things helps us focus on good experiences, encourages us to persevere in the face of adversity, promotes good health (so we can have more good experiences), and helps build strong relationships.

(People are perhaps less drawn to the curmudgeonly among us….)

It’s pretty typical at Thanksgiving to express gratitude for things in the past—e.g., the infection avoided, or the finally-possible family visit. But one can also focus on the blessings of the present—say, continued good health, and friends to enjoy—or the future, in the form of developing and maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook.

For those of us who are more realists (not to say pessimists) than optimists, Harvard Health offers more

good news: a sense of gratitude can be cultivated. One does not need to have been born with a sunny disposition to develop a bright (or at least brighter) outlook.

An easy place to start: thank someone who’s made a positive influence on our life (or week or day).

In-person is nice, but not always possible; thank-you emails or notes also count. Even mentally reflecting on a happy occasion and offering up “good thoughts” to the people who played a role in it helps promote a feeling of gratitude.

A religious person can offer prayers of gratitude or thanksgiving. The meditative person might focus on something for which they are grateful in the present moment—e.g., the warmth that surrounds them, or a pleasant sound.

Another idea: set aside time each week to count one’s blessings—what went right? What interactions felt warm and inviting? Enumerating a few of the past week’s positive moments and reflecting on how we felt each time can encourage gratitude and a more optimistic outlook.

Keeping a gratitude journal—even just jotted notes of things we’re thankful for—can help to encourage positive thoughts. It provides a record to look back on when things aren’t going so well, reminding us that all is not dark-and-dismal. I kept a journal during the 18 months before I retired from my last full-time job. It was part “what next,” and part “what I’m grateful for today.” I still occasionally review it for nuggets and reminders.

Whatever you’re celebrating this year, I hope you find it festive and fun and gratitude-inducing. Happy Thanks/ Friendsgiving! ▼ Marj Shannon is a writer and epidemiologist. She can be reached at marj@camprehoboth.com.

Classes & Events For more information about any of these events, please visit camprehoboth.com or call us at 302 227-5620. Zoom links (when applicable) can be found on our website or in the weekly e-mail newsletter. Unless indicated otherwise, in-person meetings take place at CAMP Rehoboth.

WALK-IN HIV TESTING Mondays 12:00-4:00 p.m.

Free rapid HIV testing at CAMP Rehoboth. Get your results in 15 minutes. No appointment needed during this time.

MORNING MINDFULNESS Tuesdays 8:00 a.m. (Zoom) Start your Tuesdays off with CAMP Rehoboth. Erin will lead a mindful exercise or morning meditation for 30 minutes.

CHAIR YOGA Tuesdays 9:00 a.m. (Zoom) In this class, Erin guides you to synchronize conscious breath with mindful movement. The sequence of poses is designed to energize and strengthen, as well as relax and lengthen muscles.

MEN’S YOGA Saturdays 8:45 a.m. (in-person) Join us for our weekly Yoga Class. All levels are welcome, and everyone will be given the opportunity to modify or advance their practice, based upon their preferences.

MEN’S DISCUSSION GROUP 2nd/4th Wednesdays, 7:00 p.m. (in-person) The Men’s Discussion Group is a safe and nurturing space for GBTQ men to start conversations important to our community. We celebrate who we are, promote respect and understanding, and we accept each other’s differences with the intention of building a more connected community.

WOMEN IN CIRCLE 1st/3rd Saturdays, 10:00 a.m. (in-person) Women in Circle is a gathering of LGBTQ women. The circle is a welcoming, inclusive, and positive place to meet,

connect, and share with other women.

Each week a different topic opens the circle for women to discuss, learn from, and support each other.

VIRTUAL BINGO WITH AARP November 19, 7:00 p.m. (Zoom) Register for this fun event at bit.ly/ BingoReho and you will receive up to 10 Bingo cards via mail and a Zoom ID number to participate.

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE November 20, 7:00 p.m. (in-person) Rehoboth TransLiance in conjunction with Safe Harbor United Church of Christ and the Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth, holds a Transgender Day of Remembrance Service at CAMP Rehoboth. Murray Archibald will be the featured speaker. See more details in In Brief.

CAMP REHOBOTH BOOK CLUB November 22, 5:30 p.m. (Zoom) The CAMP Rehoboth Book Club is a queer-facilitated discussion group dedicated to reading novels about queer topics and/or books by queer authors that tackle a variety of interests and subject matters. This month’s book selection is Twilight Man: Love and Ruin in the Shadows of Hollywood and the Clark Empire.

COFFEE TALK November 27, 10:00 a.m. (in-person) Coffee Talk is a place where the LGBTQ community can come together in a positive, non-judgmental atmosphere to share our thoughts and perspectives on

a topic and dare to think outside the box.

Everyone is welcome.

FLAMING KNITTERS December 6, 6:30 p.m. (in-person) Flaming Knitters provides a thoughtful and engaging space for working, conversing, connecting, showing off, sharing resources, and supporting fiber-related crafts and projects in a queer- and trans-affirming space.

YOUTH UP MONTHLY SOCIAL December 10, 6:30 p.m.

MCC Rehoboth (in-person) Join us for the YOUTH Up Monthly Social on Friday, December 10, 6:30-7:30 p.m., at MCC Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Road, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

This event is designed specifically for 10-19-year-old LGBTQ+ youth.

YOUNG ADULT (18-25) DISCUSSION GROUP Wednesday December 15, 7:00 p.m.

(Zoom) CAMP Rehoboth and NAMI Delaware invite you to join us for a virtual discussion group designed specifically for 18-25-year-old LGBTQ+ adults CAMP REHOBOTH BUS TRIP: NYC December 15, 7:30 a.m. departing from Lowe’s parking lot, Lewes What could be better than a trip to New York City?

A trip to New York City during the holidays! This trip is fully booked, but if you would like to be added to the waiting list, email derrick@ camprehoboth.com. ▼

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

21 Letters

Working for Change

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

Modernizing Delaware’s Hate Crimes Law

I

n 2020, Marie Pinkney became the first African American LGBTQ+ person ever elected to the Delaware Senate. Since then, she has been focused on introducing and supporting legislation that will make substantive change and improve the lives of all Delawareans. Her sense of urgency is sparked by two things: being elected at an unparalleled time in our nation’s history—dueling pandemics of COVID-19 and racism— and her own lived experiences as a trauma social worker and case manager in ChristinaCare’s Surgical Intensive Care Unit, where she provides support for patients and families.

This spring Senator Pinkney introduced Senate Bill 144: An Act to Amend Title 11 of the Delaware Code Relating to Offenses Against Public Health, Order and Decency. If successful, SB 144 would modernize Delaware’s hate crime statute and consolidate related offenses together with the hate crime statute in the Criminal Code. Pinkney says, “We are seeing a rise in hate crimes throughout this country for a diverse group of people who are under attack, and it is important through this bill and all legislation to take a stand to let Delawareans know we are going to protect each other.”

As noted in the bill synopsis found on the Delaware General Assembly website, a key component of the proposed modernization is that hate crimes would now include crime motivated, in whole or in part, by bias. This reflects instances where a hate crime is committed but is only motivated in part by hate in addition to another component. Additionally, SB 144 proposes the focus be on the defendant’s belief or perception. Currently the law focuses on the victim’s actual race, gender, religion, or other immutable characteristic, rather than focusing on the state of mind of the defendant. This change refocuses the inquiry on the defendant’s state of mind, and specifically, what the defendant believes to be true at the time the act was committed.

SB 144 also prohibits any crime committed in whole or in part on a belief or perception of an immutable characteristic Letters 22 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

“[It] is vital that we say Delaware is going to be a safe place and protect people often forgotten and intentionally attacked…”

of a group. SB 144 adds “group” to make clear that a hate crime can be committed because of the hate towards a group at large. The Act would also combine and update the existing desecration and desecration of a burial place sections maintaining the existing penalties while establishing a right of civil remedies to allow individuals to seek relief from hate crime, desecration, and religious symbol burning related injury. Finally, the SB 144 would require law enforcement to report violations and investigations of violations of hate crimes to the Division of Civil Rights and Public Trust.

Pinkney offers that it “is vital that we say Delaware is going to be a safe place and protect people often forgotten and intentionally attacked,” and believes SB 144 is important for all people. “As a queer identifying woman, this is for us, but it is also for other people. It encompasses so many people who receive hate just for being in this world. We deserve to be here. We must protect and stand with each other.”

SB 144 was introduced late in the session; it was heard in senate committee and on the floor in the senate. It will now need to be heard in house committee and on the house floor. Pinkney believes SB 144 will get support in the house and be signed into law by the governor but welcomes continued engagement from constituents and residents from across the state in this process.

When asked what Delawareans who support SB 144 should be doing right now, she said, “There are folks signed on to the bill but if your state legislator hasn’t signed on, ask them to. Send emails, testify, tell them when you see them that you want it to be passed. After it is passed, it can’t hurt to give the governor’s office a call, too.”

Speaking of her work and that of her freshman class in the State Senate, Pinkney recalled, “we made a promise that we’d do something different and be something different for Delaware.” Her introduction of SB 144 and shepherding it to the final stage is an example of her trying to meet those goals and Pinkney says it is her honor.

Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Twitter: @CJFluker or Instagram: Mr_CJFluker

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23 Letters

Historical Headliners

BY ANN APTAKER

Making a Run for It: Helen Stephens

T

he big story of the 1936 Berlin Olympic Games was the humiliation of Adolf Hitler and his “master race” (white, preferably German) nonsense by the gold medal winning triumph of African-American athlete Jesse Owens.

But there was another American story in the 1936 games, one which created waves at the time but has since faded somewhat as stories of accomplished women unfortunately tend to do. Now, make no mistake, Owens deserves every round of applause, every accolade he received for his accomplishments. But the almost-lost story I’m referring to is about the accomplishments of an athlete who made mincemeat of the Hitlerian interpretation of ideal womanhood: the story of Helen Stephens.

Born in 1918 to a poor farm family in Fulton, Missouri, Stephens’ athletic prowess showed itself early. By her senior year in Fulton High School, where she earned the nickname “The Fulton Flash” for her speed and power, Stephens’ athletic talent attracted national attention and she was included in the 1936 American Olympic team. She was barely 18 years old.

Stephens wowed ’em at the Olympics.

She won the gold medal in the 100 meter sprint, defeating the reigning champion, Poland’s Stanislawa Walasiewicz (simplified to Stella Walsh when she immigrated to America), setting a new world record of 11.5 seconds. The record would not be broken for 24 years.

She won another gold as the premier runner for the American 4x100 meter relay team. Throughout her racing career, Helen Stephens never lost a race.

But her story is more than just one of athletic prowess and success. Helen Stephens had chutzpah. According to historian David Wallechinsky and biographer Sharon Kinney-Hanson, Stephens, upon being congratulated by Adolf Hitler for her gold medals, ignored his Nazi salute greeting and responded instead with only what she described as “a good old-fashioned Missouri handshake.”

Stephens’ triumphs, both athletic and Letters 24 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

personal, at the Berlin games were nevertheless shadowed by the libel that she— and Stanislawa Walasiewicz/Stella Walsh— were not women at all but were men competing as women in order to have an advantage over female competitors.

After humiliating physical examinations, Stephens was confirmed female. She

…Stephens was the first woman to own and manage a women’s semi-pro basketball team, the Olympic Co-Eds then sued Look Magazine for its sordid front-page story, complete with a photo of the formidably built 6-foot Stephens, “Is This A Man or a Woman?” She won the suit. (Interestingly, an autopsy performed on Stella Walsh after her death in 1980 revealed she was indeed intersex) The controversies—and humiliations suffered

by Stephens and Walsh—sadly prefigure the controversies regarding gender absolutism in athletics today.

But these insults did not stop Stephens from living a full life, a life lived on her own terms. After the 1936 Berlin Games, Stephens continued a career in sports, even teaming up with fellow American gold medalist Jesse Owens for a tour of exhibition races. She played pro women’s baseball and softball, and in 1938, Stephens was the first woman to own and manage a women’s semi-pro basketball team, the Olympic Co-Eds. She maintained ownership and management until 1952.

Though sports was at her core—she continued to win track and field events even in her 60s, competing in the senior divisions—Stephens’ post-Olympic life

also encompassed a stint in the Women’s Marine Corps Reserve during World War II, and afterward a successful career as a librarian in the research division of the US Aeronautical Chart and Information Service.

But what of a personal life? At a time when same sex relationships were illegal, and exposure of involvement with a same sex partner was dangerous, Helen Stephens did indeed find fulfillment in the arms and heart of Mabel Robbe. I could find very little written about Robbe, only that she divorced her husband, midwestern businessman Frank Robbe on the grounds of drunkenness—thereafter becoming Helen Stephens’ “companion”—and that she had been a dietitian at Francis Shimmer College. The couple remained together until Robbe’s death in 1986.

Though Helen Stephens hasn’t been entirely forgotten—after all, she is in the Olympic history books—her story has been overshadowed by Jesse Owens’ triumph over Nazi racism and the star power of the era’s other great woman athlete, Babe Didrikson. Though Stephens lived a quieter, more reserved life than Didrikson, her contribution to and lifelong support of women’s sports is estimable.

Finally, in 1975, Helen Stephens, champion athlete, devoted lesbian partner for nearly 40 years, was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. She passed away in 1994.

Women have come a long way in sports since then, and lesbians have often been at the forefront of women fighting for respect in professional sports. Before there was Brittany Griner, before Megan Rapinoe or Simone Biles, even before Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova, there was Helen Stephens, “The Fulton Flash,” making her run for the gold in sports, in love, in life. ▼ Ann Aptaker’s Cantor Gold crime/mystery series has won Lambda Literary and Goldie Awards. Her short stories appear in numerous publications and anthologies.

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

25 Letters

Before the Beach

BY MICHAEL GILLES

The Sound of Music

I

have a great resume—at least, I think so. Its two-page length highlights positions with several major companies.

Add to those credentials a third page with dozens of plays directed or written and I thought “Wow, I’m really something!”

Then I met Dr. Boden Sandstrom. Her CV sits on my desk as if mocking me for my puny exploits. I’m a community theater legend (in my own mind); she’s a real-life legend—librarian, researcher, video technician, community organizer, technical producer, sound engineer, professor, archivist—an icon of the DC female liberation movement and the women’s music scene for 40 years. Plus, her resume is nine pages long.

As I sat in her cozy living room cuddling with her Keeshond, Smokey, I found a woman so amazing, so disarming, so gracious that I immediately took to her. Her life has been filled with proud achievements and profound tragedy. In a word, she moved me.

What were the things that made her the woman I chatted with that Monday?

During her college years, the Vietnam War grew, and Boden’s political activism followed suit. When she moved to Boston, she served as the volunteer office manager for the Greater Boston Peace Action Coalition in 1970. She also became a part of the new women’s liberation movement.

In 1974, Boden moved to Washington, DC. In DC, she met Casse Culver, a singer/songwriter and sound engineer, who was already very involved in the growing women’s music scene. They became business partners when they founded Woman Sound in 1975, leading to an on-and-off-again relationship that lasted a few years. Eventually, Boden became sole proprietor, renaming the company City Sound Productions. Clients included the Smithsonian Institution, RFK Stadium, the American Folklife Festival, the DC Committee to Promote Washington, the Warner Theater, Constitution Hall, and many others.

Over the years, she did sound production for many of the major political events staged on the Mall, including Letters 26 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

gay and lesbian rights rallies, the March for Women’s Lives in 2004, and every National Organization for Women event held in Washington from 1975 to 1993.

Boden was also deeply involved with the

As a pioneering female sound engineer, Boden pushed the boundaries, improving opportunities for the women who would follow her. women’s music scene, doing the sound for DC-area events, as well as the internationally-acclaimed Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival for over a decade (1976-1987).

In 2002, Boden served as co-producer on Dee Mosbacher’s award-winning documentary, Radical Harmonies: Woodstock Meets Women’s Liberation in a Film about a Movement that Exploded the Gender Barriers in Music (you can find it on eBay). Around that experience, Boden and Casse renewed and cemented their relationship.

Before retiring in 2013, Boden taught at the University of Maryland for 10 years.

She was a lecturer in ethnomusicology (the study of music as culture) and she also managed her division’s world ensembles while performing other services for

the university. At Maryland, she remained a relentless activist for better gender representation and the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. As a pioneering female sound engineer, Boden pushed the boundaries, improving opportunities for the women who would follow her.

While vacationing in the Rehoboth area in 2016, Boden and Casse fell in love with a charming 1855 house in the middle of Milton, which they ended up buying. Then, Casse was diagnosed with lung cancer. An accomplished home renovator and landscaper, Casse made their house a home despite her illness.

Boden still lives there. She lost Casse to cancer in 2019, but still loves the home they created.

Boden is a big believer in CAMP Rehoboth. She couldn’t work with them much while she was taking care of Casse, but seized the opportunity to curate CAMP Rehoboth’s Stonewall exhibit. The exhibit illuminated many of the signature moments of the Women’s Music Movement from the 1970s to the 1990s and highlighted many events in which Boden was instrumental.

How does Boden spend her days in “retirement”? She works with the Rainbow History Project to collect, preserve, and promote an active knowledge of the history, arts, and culture of DC’s diverse LGBTQ+ communities. Rather than resting on her laurels, she is also archiving her boxes and boxes of papers, as well as Casse’s, to donate to the Sophia Smith Collection of Women’s History housed at Smith College.

And she is still committed to her life’s work, sharing what she has learned with her community of women. That, more than anything, is why she believes that “daily living is a joy.”

Her life has been so much more than the nine pages sitting on my desk. ▼ Michael Gilles is a playwright, actor, and director from Milton, and a regular contributor to Letters from CAMP Rehoboth.

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

27 Letters

Words Matter

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

A Word of Thanks

G

ood friends should make you better.

A shopping trip with one of my friends made me better and hopefully has had ripple effects for other people over the years. I think about our time in that retail store and his actions often. He modeled something for me that has now become a habit. It seemed so simple, I wondered why I’d never thought before to do it myself.

We’d gone to brunch and going shopping afterward felt like the natural next step. We browsed several stores in the mall and picked up a few items. What made the trip to one store stand out was the great customer service and positive attitude from one of the sales associates. My friend had lots of questions and the sales associate had lots of answers, suggestions, and tips. The sales associate wasn’t just doing his job, he was doing it really well. I was impressed.

My friend purchased several items but before we left the store he circled around a few times in search of the manager. When he couldn’t find him on his own, he asked another sales associate if they’d be able to find the manager because he wanted to have a word.

Honestly, I was a bit confused. Why would my friend want to speak to the manager after we’d just had a quality experience and he’d already bought a bunch of items?

Moments later the manager appeared, and my friend’s face lit up. My dear friend and fabulous shopping partner showered such high praise on the young sales associate who helped us that the manager started beaming too. I chimed in. It was a real love fest. We left the store happy with his purchases and happy to have been able to elevate the solid work of the employee—who at the height of holiday shopping season likely had been putting in extra effort and hours but didn’t show it. We appreciated it.

At that young age, I was grateful to my friend for modeling that kind of behavior for me. So often we’re accustomed to seeing someone ask to speak to the manager when something is wrong and they want to complain about what someone has done.

But we don’t often enough call out or lift up when someone is doing something right or going above and beyond. We must direct more energy to that

But we don’t often enough call out or lift up when someone is doing something right or going above and beyond.

Letters 28 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

which we want to see grow.

This summer I was walking down the street and saw a woman pass out right in front of me.

Thankfully, before she could hit the ground, I was able to catch her and hold her up. A driver spotted what happened, stopped his car, and got out to assist. I continued holding her up while he called for an ambulance. Two construction workers completing a job at the house across the street saw what was happening and rushed over to offer their help, too. The woman said she needed water.

The two guys ran to their truck and returned with bottles of water for the woman and a couple of large orange traffic cones to place around the car of the guy who hopped out to assist. When the ambulance came the two paramedics spoke with her, took her vitals, and treated her as if she was their own grandmother. They got her and her groceries in the ambulance and were off.

Just before they left, I made a point to take a photo of their truck and get their names. I also took a photo of the side of the pickup truck from the construction guys. It had the name of the business and its phone number. When I made it home, I sent an email to the EMS chronicling what happened and the respectful job the two paramedics did that day. I also called the number of that construction company. The manager who I spoke with was surprised by my call and said that he only gets calls of neighbors complaining about the work of his teams. He’d never gotten a call from someone to tell him about the good that they’ve done. I was delighted to be his first; hopefully, I won’t be the last.

During this season of reflection and gratitude, let’s all be sure to thank and show appreciation to the people in our family, our friendship circles, and immediate colleagues—but let us also be intentional about thanking and lifting up others who we encounter on our journey. A word of thanks can make a world of difference. ▼ Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Twitter: @CJFluker or Instagram: Mr_CJFluker.

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

29 Letters

CAMP Houses

BY RICH BARNETT

A Perfect Beach House

F

or the past two years, I’ve been writing about people and their homes. I’d like to say it’s because I’m intrigued by the concept of home and how our relationship to it has changed during the pandemic. My motivation, however, is not so heady. As a social observer and a garden variety voyeur, I like to snoop around other people’s houses and then write about them. Every house comes with a good story.

For this column, I thought I’d tell the story of my own house, which was built in 1921. Any house in Rehoboth still standing after 100 years is worth writing about, don’t you think?

My house on Columbia Avenue in the Pines neighborhood was built as a modest, three-bedroom, one bathroom beach bungalow by the Chandler family who has run a funeral business in Wilmington, Delaware, since 1892.

Houses on Columbia Avenue in the 1920s were identified by letters rather than numbers. My house address was G Columbia. The original wooden “G” still sits above my front door. The Chandlers sold it in the late 1980s to a couple from Baltimore.

During their ownership it was used primarily as a summer rental house. I’ve been told it had a rowdy reputation. My partner Michael and I became the third owners. We purchased it back in 1994 for what now looks like a song, but in fact was a financial stretch—and a leap of faith.

What I mean is that most of our friends back then were veterans of the summer gay group rental scene in Rehoboth. Few were actual homeowners. Rehoboth in the early 1990s wasn’t as much of a year-round town as it is today. Things basically shut down after Labor Day. Roads were still mainly two-lane, running south and east from Philadelphia and Washington. And the cities were where all the action was if you were a gay guy or lesbian.

Rehoboth also wasn’t as welcoming to gay folk as it is today. Many local Letters 30 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

residents feared that “sodomites and sinners” were starting to overtake their town. Inflammatory anti-gay rhetoric was common in the newspaper. Bumper stickers appeared proclaiming “Keep Rehoboth a Family Town.” And there were some terrible gay-bashings. I think it’s fair to say there was some reticence among many gay folk to take the plunge and invest in Rehoboth.

But leap we did, right into the green Jaguar convertible driven by Mary Lou Sheehan, a one-of-a-kind real estate agent—rest her soul—who was extraordinarily gay friendly. Not all realtors were back then. She was wearing a cheetah top and jeweled sunglasses and smoking a joint. We were carrying Bloody Marys. What could go wrong?

After a couple of hours looking at houses—and a couple more Bloodies— Mary Lou pulled up in front of a run-

down little house. “Keep an open mind,” she purred. “The location is great…. All you need to do is trick it up.”

We followed her up an unstable set of brick steps that weren’t even attached to the house and onto a rickety screened porch with beat up white rattan furniture and pale pink mildewed cushions. She stood in front of the door, hands on hips. “Comin’ in,” she hollered.

Hearing no protest, she kicked open the door with her black Prada boot. Beer cans went flying.

It looked and smelled like a fraternity house, but not in a good way. There were no sweaty shirtless bros playing foosball—of course, I’m dating myself now with that reference…. There were lots of liquor bottles on the floor and stacks of pizza boxes on big, bulky cargo furniture.

Looking beyond the mess, we could tell the place had seen few renovations

Of course, the foundation was crumbling, the kitchen appliances were circa 1965, and it looked like the wiring had been done using old lamp cords and extension cords. over the decades. Tongue in groove paneling covered the walls and the ceiling. Luckily the wood had been shellacked and not painted. It had good hardwood floors and a working fireplace. It was everything we were looking for in a classic no-frills beach cottage. Of course, the foundation was crumbling, the kitchen appliances were circa 1965, and it looked like the wiring had been done using old lamp cords and extension cords. Though we couldn’t see or smell the ocean, we could hear it. And we were stumbling distance to Baltimore Avenue. We made an offer that very day.

As you might expect, we did have to do a bit more than trick it up. The biggest project was jacking up the

house to build a new foundation and basement beneath it. It was surprisingly easy and cheap to do. We didn’t even take the paintings off the wall.

Rebuilding the fireplace to the exact dimensions of the original one took forever because the devoutly religious brick mason refused to lay more than seven rows per day. Go figure…. Next, we expanded the front porch and added wide wooden steps. Of course, we upgraded the electricity and the appliances. But we didn’t touch the wooden walls or ceilings; we just cleaned and polished them.

Décor wise we furnished the cottage like an Edwardian gentleman’s club with comfortable upholstered furniture, wooden side tables, wooden Venetian

blinds, bookcases, Oriental lamps, and paintings with gold gilt frames. A large dining table was a must for rowdy dinner parties. We added awnings to shade the house in the summer but never got around to putting in air conditioning.

Window units have worked just fine when we need them.

In the end, our leap of faith was rewarded. We got our perfect house and Rehoboth became the perfect town for us. ▼ Rich Barnett is the author of The Discreet Charms of a Bourgeois Beach Town, and Fun with Dick and James.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

31 Letters

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

33 Letters

Out & Proud

BY STEFANI DEOUL

Thanksgiving

A

utumn is here, and already the glorious spate of festively colored leaves is beginning to fall, and the warm ocean breezes we love are steadily becoming a bit chill-inducing. But before the snows of winter, we have the heart-warming holiday of Thanksgiving.

Unless, we don’t.

For some of us, Thanksgiving is a tough holiday. For some people it’s as simple as “not everyone who lives alone is lonely.” Some people relish solitude and forcing them into a big dinner is supremely stress inducing. For others, noise pollution can be a real thing, and not all family gatherings are of the quiet type.

And for still others, it’s not the gathering, it’s the getting there; the “99 miles of cheer down route one, the 99 miles of cheer,” rapidly turns to 99 miles of jeer— and that’s before you get to Milton!

And the list goes on. The truth is, for some people, the annual Thanksgiving family gathering can be torture.

And in the gay community, all too often the iconic images of some Norman Rockwell family were tragically shattered years ago.

But maybe celebrating is easier when we remember its birth as a holiday.

Yes, we all know, it was 400 years ago (!), 1621, when the Massachusetts Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast (something about which the current day Wampanoag have understandably mixed emotions). But that did not start the annual sharing of the turkey. (And, as a matter of record, it was even earlier, 1541, when Francisco Vásquez de Coronado and the Teya Indians held a feast in Palo Duro Canyon in Texas—just so you know.)

It was the year 1863 when in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day to be held each November. On October 3, 1863, Lincoln issued a proclamation calling on Americans to “set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving,” partly to celebrate the Letters 34 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

victory, but also to acknowledge the cost, of the Battle of Gettysburg.

So Thanksgiving as we know it, was— ironically, perhaps befittingly—forged in battle.

On November 20, 1916, Mrs. A.J. Wilder wrote a column for the Missouri Ruralist, a local newspaper. Most of us know Mrs. “A.J.” Wilder by her “own”

So Thanksgiving as we know it, was—ironically, perhaps befittingly— forged in battle. name, Laura Ingalls (Wilder). In the column she noted the difficulties with the holiday by first telling a story about squabbling with her sister, Mary, over not wanting sage added to the dressing for the goose her “Pa” has gone out to get. As the argument intensified, Pa came home—without a goose.

“I remember saying in a meek voice to sister Mary, ‘I wish I had let you have the sage’ and to this day when I think of it I feel again just as I felt then and realize how thankful I would have been for roast

goose and dressing with sage seasoning—with or without any seasoning—I could even have gotten along without the dressing. Just plain goose roasted would have been plenty good enough.”

And she continues reflecting, relating the story of a woman she knows: “‘I suppose I should be thankful for what we have, but I can’t feel very thankful when I have to pay $2.60 for a little flour and the price still going up,’” writes a friend, and in the same letter she says, ‘We are in our usual health.’ The family is so used to good health that it is not even taken into consideration as a cause of thanksgiving.

We are so inclined to take for granted the blessings we possess and to look for something peculiar, some special good luck for which to be thankful.”

It has been 125 years since Laura Ingalls Wilder’s column. The price of flour continues to go up. And that we’re here to complain about it is a reason to be thankful.

We’ve been living in a pandemic, and thanks to science, and perhaps a bit of genetic fortune, we’re here to give thanks for our “usual health” this year.

So this year, let’s all take a moment and think…is our table really full, or is there someone we can invite who needs to know there’s one more seat available?

Is there someone we know who maybe can’t enjoy the big meal, but who would love to come over the next day for some quality leftovers? Is there a reason to stay home alone and feel sad, or can family can be renewed, and if not, new ones made, around a dinner table?

Let’s remember as we pass the platter and count our blessings, that we are battle tested and thankful for each other, for family, and for community. ▼ Stefani Deoul is a television producer and author of the award-winning YA mystery series Sid Rubin Silicon Alley Adventures, with On a LARP, Zero Sum Game, and Say Her Name.

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35 Letters

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Letters 36 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

37 Letters

It’s My Life

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

Thank You for the Music

I

am sitting here listening to the new ABBA album.

This is not a sentence I ever expected to write.

The last new ABBA album, The Visitors, was released 40 years ago, a month after my thirteenth birthday. This one arrives a month after my fifty-third.

The four members of ABBA themselves are all over 70. That all of us are still around to enjoy this moment is something of a miracle.

Like many gay men of my generation, I have a close relationship to the music of ABBA. But my introduction to them was unusual in that I didn’t first hear them on the radio or at a disco. I discovered them when my mother came home one day in the fall of 1979 with two albums for me. For months she had been waging a war against my interest in rock music, specifically the music of KISS, with whom I was obsessed. An intensely devout Baptist, she was convinced that listening to the devil’s music was detrimental to my spiritual well-being.

Suspecting that she was fighting a losing battle, she attempted a compromise. She went to a Christian bookstore, of which there were an unusual number in those days, and asked someone there to recommend some music that would appeal to a rock-obsessed 11-yearold but also not be too tainted by infernal influence.

In response, she was handed copies of Bob Dylan’s Slow Train Coming and ABBA’s Greatest Hits Vol. 2.

The Dylan makes sense. Then a recent convert to Christianity, the former Robert Allen Zimmerman churned out Slow Train Coming as a celebration of his spiritual awakening. The album was popular—at least with those who celebrated Dylan’s acceptance of Christ—and Dylan earned a Grammy for the song “Gotta Serve Somebody.” But it was not something that appealed to adolescent music fans.

Not this one anyway.

ABBA, on the other hand, was pure magic to me.

From the eerie opening chords of “Gimme! Gimme!

Gimme! (A Man After Midnight),” I was hooked. I loved everything about the band and the music. They were fun. They were Swedish. They were glamorous. I stared at the liner note photo of red-haired Frida and wished I could be that cool. I stared at the photo of hairy-chested Benny and wished he would kiss me.

Now, it became clear after only a single listen that a mistake had been made. Why would anyone re-

Perhaps the clerk who helped my mother was somehow a kindred spirit and slipped it in hoping I would get the message.

Letters 38 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

spond to my mother’s request for wholesome music fit for a (supposedly) Christian boy by handing them a collection of songs about longing for love after midnight, sneaking out to the disco, and flirting with older men? I had no idea. Perhaps the poppy sound made the music seem more wholesome than it was. Perhaps the clerk who helped my mother was somehow a kindred spirit and slipped it in hoping I would get the message. I have no idea. But I was smart enough not to say anything about it.

Instead, I spent hours in my room listening to those songs. I also ordered their previous greatest hits album from the Columbia Record and Tape Club and listened to that obsessively as well. In a world where the local radio station played mostly AC/DC and the like, and where my schoolmates sported shirts with Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath on them, ABBA was a glittery oasis into which I could escape and dream of a world that was more colorful, more alive, more welcoming of someone like me.

A year or so after my discovery of ABBA, I was asked to be the accompanist for the school choir. I’d played piano for years, but couldn’t sing a note, so this was a way for me to be involved. It also got me out of playing sports. So I said yes.

Imagine, then, my joy when one of the first songs I was handed to play was ABBA’s “S.O.S.” The song is particularly exciting for a piano player, as it relies heavily on both a pounding beat and a thrilling, rapid-fire run leading into the chorus that is breathtakingly fun to play when you get it right. I practiced it over and over, until my father begged me to play something else.

The night of the concert, I sat at the piano and dutifully played through the other songs, which as I recall included Melissa Manchester’s “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” and England Dan and John Ford Coley’s “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight.” But when it came time for “S.O.S.,” I came alive. For those three-anda-half minutes I was part of the band, sitting under a spotlight as Frida and Agnetha begged someone to save them from their loneliness.

Listening to this new ABBA album, I remember how that felt, even though I haven’t touched a piano in more than 30 years. That night, for one song, I was a rock star. ▼ Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

39 Letters

Out & About

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

Sounds About White

W

eeks later, many in my liberal bubble are still reeling over Glenn Youngkin’s victory in Virginia’s recent gubernatorial race.

While Youngkin the candidate seemed to keep a healthy distance between himself and the man who is still ostensibly leading the Republican party (former President Donald Trump), there was much about the race that carried unmistakable touches of Trumpism.

Mostly, I’m talking about an obsession with Critical Race Theory.

First, I feel the need to point out that Critical Race Theory is in fact a legal theory. It is only taught in law schools, and no kindergartener has ever been exposed to CRT in a public-school classroom. And, after getting that off my chest, I realize it doesn’t really matter. Despite the origins of Critical Race Theory (a quick shout out to Dr. Kimberlé Crenshaw, who also coined “intersectionality”), its use in popular discourse has come to mean any mention of race, no matter how benign, that might cause a white student to question the honor and character of any white person, past or present.

If we teach students, for example, that for much of our history, white people enslaved black people (who, stripped of all dignity and citizenship, were assaulted, raped, separated from their families, and killed—all without consequence), this is called Critical Race Theory—a convenient turn of phrase, because of course, these are historical facts. Most people outside of academia who hear the word “theory” think it means that a thing may or may not be true, that it’s something like an opinion. Using “Critical Race Theory” as a catch-all for anything about race learned in a classroom that might make a white student uncomfortable makes it easier to fight.

By now, many of you who are reading this have seen the videos from school board meetings across Virginia, featuring parents with quavering voices Letters 40 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

whose children are wondering if they are “evil” because they are white.

Setting aside my skepticism that these conversations ever happened, it seems to me that the obvious answer to this question is, “No, honey. You’re not evil. But white people in America have sometimes done awful things, so it’s important that we learn about them so we can be better.” Granted, I’m not a parent, but that seems a lot easier than where babies come from or even whether Santa is real.

Using “Critical Race Theory” as a catch-all for anything about race learned in a classroom that might make a white student uncomfortable makes it easier to fight.

But to many of our fellow citizens, the obvious answer was to shield little Connor and Madeline from anything resembling these uncomfortable truths until they’re old enough to handle them—which, so long as they’re shielded from their distress, will probably be never.

For the past 20 years, I’ve made my living teaching adults how to foster diversity in their workplaces, and how to create inclusive cultures where all people—regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion, ability, or culture—can thrive and succeed. And I fear that my industry, now usually referred to as DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) will be the next target of a right-wing campaign of fear and loathing.

The signs are there: recently, an

op-ed was printed in the Wall Street Journal called, “How ‘Diversity’ Turned Tyrannical.” In it, physicist Lawrence Krauss describes the ways that a focus on diversity and inclusion practitioners like me are destroying both science and meritocracy by asking applicants for faculty positions at universities to describe how they plan to make their classrooms inclusive if they’re hired.

Krauss likens such a question to Nazism and bemoans the fact that a bad answer to this question is often a dealbreaker for employment. I guess brilliant scientists whose classrooms only serve straight, white, male students with no thought to anyone else are…bad, somehow?

Anecdotally, I’m also noticing even more uncertainty among my potential clients about the value of the work I do, along with repeated requests to not make anyone uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, everyone who works in corporate America who isn’t straight, white, male, cisgender, able-bodied, and Christian is already uncomfortable—and those who tick most or all those boxes are going to have to step outside of their comfort zone eventually if we’re ever going to advance our workplaces, communities, and society toward any kind of progress.

So, I’m getting ready for a storm—but instead of rain and wind, I’m preparing for torrents of ugly and hurricane levels of ignorant. I plan to center the stories of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, and people with disabilities, and why they deserve to live lives as comfortable as anyone else’s. And I intend to remember that comfort is not the goal— justice is. ▼ Eric Peterson hosts a podcast about old movies and modern times called The Rewind Project.

His debut novel Loyalty, Love & Vermouth has just been released.

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41 Letters

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43 Letters

MAKING MUSIC

BY MICHAEL GILLES

CHORUS COUPLES

Those That Play Together…

I

love Valentine’s Day. What better time to plant a few kisses on your partner?

It’s a day of reaffirmed love and discovering your partner/spouse isn’t so bad after all. And candy!!! My wife just received a box of chocolates which, unless she hides it quickly, I will eat in its entirety.

All of that is why I’m so happy to chronicle these people on this day of celebration.

Wait. What?

So it’s not Valentine’s Day. My bad. I still have to write the story so, here’s a tale about eight couples who are thankful (there—now we’re in the right month) to meet every Monday night to sing in the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus.

Ronnie Smith/Anita Gossett. After being long-time members of CAMP Rehoboth, they decided to join the chorus.

Music and singing together have always been an important part of their relationship. They recently celebrated their 15th anniversary by getting married. Rather than writing and saying their vows, they played a duet for the occasion.

They are in the chorus to make music and to connect their voices to those of a group of 90-plus LGBTQ (and ally) singers. They’re led by the very talented Doug Yetter, who brings his musical expertise and humor to every rehearsal.

Carl Carotozzolo/Jerry Pulaski.

They’re the newest members. Carl is 78, Jerry is 82; they’ve been married for 13 years and together for 53 years (!!!). They moved here in April 2016.

This is their first year in the chorus and they joined because they both love music and have always enjoyed singing.

In fact, Jerry once sang with Trini Lopez in a Chicago night club in the 60s!

They belonged to CAMP Rehoboth, then the pandemic hit, and now they are rejoining.

Vicki Allen/Jay Allen. Vicki is a physical therapist; Jay is a chef who invented Crust & Craft. Wait…Crust and Craft? I love Crust and Craft!!! Ooops…I suppose I should have asked about the chorus….

Gail Hecky/Jeri Berc. Gail and Jeri are in the chorus because they love to sing.

Letters 44 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

When Gail moved to Rehoboth Beach in 2012, she heard that sopranos were needed for a singing group called CAMP Chorus. So she joined! That’s how she met Jeri.

Each rehearsal session with Doug is an inspiring combination of fascinating historical information and unexpected witticisms.

“The best part of chorus is getting to sing with so many talented musicians and a director who absolutely loves what he does.”

Jeri was invited to join the chorus in its first year while singing at a Hanukkah party. Gail and Jeri became more than friends and their marriage is now in its third year. They are long-time supporters of CAMP Rehoboth.

Jeanie Geist/Karen Gantz. These two love to sing. After being here for a few months, they became members of CAMP Rehoboth and the Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth. Karen’s first concert was just before the chorus closed down for COVID. Jeanie followed Karen, but she missed her first concert because of the pandemic. “The best part of chorus is getting to sing with so many talented musicians and a director who absolutely loves what he does.”

Rev. Dr. Vicki Gordy-Stith/Rev. Dr. Bo Gordy-Stith. Both are pastors at Epworth United Methodist Church. They met at the Naval Academy as midshipmen when the music director handed them music and said, “You’re singing this duet in 20 minutes. Go learn it. Oh…

Vicki meet Bo, Bo meet Vicki.”

Doug Yetter also serves as Epworth’s Minister of Music. As a way to support and get to know him, they attended his concert in 2020. Loving what they heard, they asked if they could join the chorus.

They value how CAMP Rehoboth has transformed our “village” of Delaware for the better.

Rev. Elder Diane Fisher/Rev. Dr. Kharma Amos. Unfortunately, they are not singing with the chorus this year (both COVID and other health issues). But they hope to return next year.

Kharma has been an ordained minister and professional queer for over 19 years.

Diane has been an ordained pastor for 30 years. They moved to Rehoboth Beach in late 2016. They were both looking for a community chorus to join, and were thrilled to find one that was progressive, CAMP-y, and LGBTQ+ inclusive. They are both members of CAMP Rehoboth and avid supporters of their mission.

Irene Fick/Ed Fick. I shouldn’t be including this pair, because Ed is no longer a part of the chorus. But I’m crazy about them, so there.

Ed and Irene met back in 1998 through their love of music. What she didn’t know was that Ed was all about classical music, and she was Broadway, rock, and disco (yes, she admits it). She is still in the chorus, but Ed left two years ago to become her most devoted groupie.

So basically, each of these chorus couples love music, the conductor, CAMP Rehoboth, and the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus. Wow, this column kinda wrote itself!

Even if it’s not time for extra Valentine’s kisses, I have to confide that I am married to one gorgeous chorus alto.

Sally, if you’re reading this, thanks, hon.

Just don’t expect more chocolates on the real Valentine’s Day. ▼ Michael Gilles is a playwright, actor, and director from Milton, and a regular contributor to Letters from CAMP Rehoboth.

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45 Letters

Letters 46 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

47 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE BEACH AREA LODGING Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave.........................302-227-2511 Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave.....................................................302-227-9446 Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave.................................302-227-6688 Canalside Inn, 34 6th St.................................................................866-412-2625 Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave.....................................302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave.................................302-226-2742 Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave........................................302-226-0766 The Shore Inn, 37239 Rehoboth Ave Ext.......................................302-227-8487

LEWES FOOD & DRINK Go Brit, 18388 Coastal Hwy...........................................................302-644-2250 Harbour Waterfront Dining, 134 West Market St...........................302-200-9522 Matt’s Fish Camp, 34401 Tenley Ct...............................................302-644-2267

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com.

OTHER AREA FOOD & DRINK Bluecoast Seafood, 1111 Hwy One, Bethany................................302-539-7111 Catch 54, 54 Madison Ave, Fenwick..............................................302-436-8600 Matt’s Fish Camp, 28635 Coastal Hwy, Bethany...........................302-539-2267

SERVICES AT THE BEACH REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy............................................302-227-8484 Unfinished Business, Rt. 1 behind Panera Bread..........................302-645-8700

REHOBOTH ART | GALLERIES | MUSEUMS Caroline Huff, Fine Artist ...................................................www.carolinehuff.com Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave......................................................302-227-2050 Philip Morton Gallery, 47 Baltimore Ave........................................302-727-0905 Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln...............................................302-227-8408 Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave..............................302-227-7310

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK 1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center................................302-645-9355 Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave................................................................ 302-226-9001 Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave...............................................302-227-3674 Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave........................................................302-227-6515 Café Azafran, 18 Baltimore Ave.....................................................302-227-8100 Café Papillon, Penny Lane Mall......................................................302-227-7568 Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave......................................302-227-2646 Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave................................302-227-1023 Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave.......................................................302-227-3353 Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave..............................................................302-226-1044 Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St.....................................................302-227-7653 Indigo, 44 Rehoboth Ave.............................................................. 302-212-5220 Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr..............................................302-227-3100 Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave.........................................................302-226-3066 Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave........................................302-227-6966 Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave.......................................302-226-2240 Penny Lane Liquors, 42 Rehoboth Ave..........................................302-567-5245 Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-1139 Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave............................................................302-227-6080 Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave.........................................302-227-1007 The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue....................................................302-567-2726

Letters 48 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

BUILDING/CLEANING/REMODELING/LANDSCAPING

A.G. Renovations ...........................................................................302-947-4096 BSD, 18412 The Narrow Rd, Lewes..................................... 302-684-8588 Randall-Douglas.............................................................................302-245-1439

CHURCHES/SYNAGOGUES

All Saints’ Episcopal, 18 Olive Ave.................................................302-227-7202 Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd.......................................302-227-7743 Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 20689 Shoppes at Long Neck.......302-947-1044 M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd.....................................302-645-4945 Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd..................302-226-8977 St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes.............................302-645-8479 Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy........................302-313-5838 Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro.................................717-579-2612 Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave.........................302-227-2109

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)..........................................................866-227-7441 ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project............................302-654-3966 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org........................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect......................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Parents of Transgender & Gender Non-conforming Children............................................302-227-5620 Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+)....................302-227-2055 CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+)..................................302-515-3040 Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center...............................800-223-9074 Delaware Human Relations Commission Housing & public accommodation............................................877-544-8626 Delaware Information Line............................................................................2-1-1 Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival..........302-265-3020 Delaware Transgender Resources—transdelaware.net, delawarelgbtq@gmail.com Delaware Transgender Support.....................................................302-402-3033

Gay/Lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous—add’l schedules..................302-856-6452 Saturdays 6 pm: Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd (step meeting) Saturdays 7:30 pm: All Saints’ Church, 18 Olive Ave (step meeting) Tuesdays noon: St. Peter’s Church, 211 Mulberry St, Lewes (step meeting) Thursdays noon: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (open discussion) Sundays 9 am: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (open discussion) Tuesdays 8 pm: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (Young Persons) Gay Men’s Discussion Group—Program of CAMP Rehoboth.........302-227-5620 Lesbian Support Group—Program of CAMP Rehoboth..................302-227-5620 Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+).........................................302-645-9293 LGBTQ Student Union—University of DE, Newark.........................302-831-8066 Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth................................................302-645-7449 PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes SLAA and SAA—Thursdays, 7:30 pm, All Saints’ Church 18 Olive Ave ............................................................................302-745-7929 Social Security Administration—Lewes office................................800-772-1213 TransLiance of DE—Rehoboth—4th Tuesdays at 7 pm, MCC of Rehoboth; contact: TransLiance@gmail.com

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services........................................................ 302-478-9411 Karen Abato, ATR-BC, LPAT, Licensed Art Psychotherapist... 302-232-5330 Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching.............................302-754-1954 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes ............................302-574-6954

ELECTRICIANS

Silver Electric..................................................................................302-227-1107

EVENT PLANNING/CATERING

Flair................................................................................................302-930-0709 Palate Bistro & Catering.................................................................302-249-8489 Plate Catering.................................................................................302-644-1200

FINANCIAL SERVICES

Community Pride Financial............................................................302-227-2939 County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd.......................................... 302-226-9800 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.........................................................302-644-6620

FLORISTS

Bayberry Florist..............................................................................302-227-5725 Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy...........................................302-227-9481

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium................................ 302-645-9520

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-ROBB Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1..............302-727-5331 Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy................... 302-260-9478

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties.....................................302-226-3519 AIDS Delaware – New Castle County............................................302-652-6776 AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide...............................................800-422-0429 Brandywine Urology Consultants...................................................302-824-7039 Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy.................................302-645-3300 CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth ..................................................................................................302-227-5620 Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic ..............................................302-933-3420 Christiana Care LGBTQ Health Initiatives.......................................302-733-1227 Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide..........................................302-654-5471 Delaware Hospice..........................................................................800-838-9800 Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center.................................... 302-297-8431 National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)...........................302-427-0787 Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln....................... 302-226-0300 Steven B. Wright, D.M.D., 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy............. 302-645-6671 The Aesthetic Center......................................................................302-827-2125

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm...................................................... 302-644-3276 George Bunting, State Farm................................................ 302-227-3891 Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm............................................ 302-645-7283

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

Lawson Firm, 402 Rehoboth Ave...................................................302-226-3700 PWW Law, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes.......................................... 302-703-6993 Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning..........................................302-644-8634

LOCKSMITHS

Rock Lock/Robin Rohr/Your Community Locksmith.......................302-386-9166

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center.............................302-645-0407 One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave........................................302-226-3552 Rehoboth Massage/Alignment.......................................................302-727-8428

OUTDOOR LIGHTING

Allure Outdoor Lighting, allureoutdoorlighting.com......................302-226-2532

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave..................................................302-226-2690 Pet Portraits by Monique................................................................717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn.......... 302-856-6361 Delaware Humane Association, 18675 Coastal Hwy........... 302-200-7159 Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes............ 302-645-7445

REAL ESTATE

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty...................................302-745-5122 Bill Peiffer, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy....................302-703-6987 Chris Beagle, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave............302-227-6101 Debbie Reed Team, 319 Rehoboth Ave.........................................800-263-5648 Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy...........302-381-4871 Eric Atkins, Patterson-Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-727-1456 Hugh Fuller, Realtor........................................................................302-745-1866 John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-703-6987 Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave...........302-227-6101 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy....................... 302-645-6664 Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave....................................................302-227-3883 McGuiness Group, 246 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-227-3883 McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie.................................. kmcduffie@mcwb.com McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr.....................................................jorr@mcwb.com Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty................................302-227-3883 Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy........................... 302-227-1222 Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave............................302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes............................302-313-6658 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln.................. 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave.............................. 302-278-6100 CHEER Transportation (age 50+)....................................................302-856-4909 ITN Southern Delaware (age 60+ or disabled)...............................302-448-8486 Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk...................302-644-0400 Olivia Travel...........................................................800-631-6277 ext. 696

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

49 Letters

Letters 50 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

immanuel quarter 28-02_Layout 1 3/30/2018 1:54 PM Page 1

D E E N E W R SUPPORT

YOU

Immanuel Shelter serves those experiencing homelessness in Rehoboth Beach, Lewes and surrounding areas.

Your generous support allows us to continue our mission and helps our community provide assistance for those in need.

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW YOU CAN VOLUNTEER OR DONATE, PLEASE VISIT www.immanuelshelter.org 17601 Coastal Hwy, Unit 11, #431 Nassau, DE 19969 1-888-634-9992

All monies raised go directly to Immanuel located in Rehoboth Beach, Sussex County, DE.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

51 Letters

CAMP Cheers!

BY ED CASTELLI

Holidaze in Three Equal Parts

A

h, the holidays. A time to cuddle with family and friends in matching festive pajamas. But sadly, the holidays can also be the “holidaze.” A time for potentially more stress in our busy lives. Martinis to the rescue!

A little nip to soften Aunt Glady’s edges. And a little nip to keep the smile on your hosting face.

Holiday gatherings come with a lot of moving parts. Potatoes to mash. Gravy to de-lump. So this time of year I’m drawn to easy drinks made with only three ingredients in three equal parts.

What does equal parts mean? Exactly as it sounds. If you measure your first ingredient as two ounces, then the next two ingredients are also two ounces each. Because the parts are equal, the amounts can be easily multiplied even when you find yourself a little tipsy.

I attended a mixology class a long time ago. Several of the concepts stuck with me ever since. First, making drinks is like baking. Exact measurements matter.

Change even one ingredient by a tablespoon or two, and you have a completely different drink. So resist the urge to wow your guests, tossing bottles over your shoulder, and pouring willy-nilly like Tom Cruise in the movie Cocktail. Grab a measuring glass!

Second, martinis are mostly alcohol. They are strong. And getting drunk should not be the goal.

A good martini should be at least 20 percent water.

And that water comes from melting the ice as you shake. Shake these drinks for a long time, longer than you think. This smooths the drinks out, allowing you to taste the ingredients, not something resembling gasoline.

Plus, when drinks are icy cold they’re just plain better. There’s nothing more disappointing than a tepid cocktail. When we’re out, we always order our martinis “bruised,” meaning shaken really hard.

When the bartender is really good, we’ll see ice shards floating on the surface.

Lastly, buy the best ingredients you can afford.

If sipped individually, the taste of each component

Letters 52 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

should be agreeable. A bad ingredient doesn’t get masked by the others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help finding good tasting, reasonably priced items at the liquor store.

Shall we get started? ⊲ Grab a cocktail shaker and fill it about two-thirds full of ice. Use crushed ice if you want those elusive ice crystals. ⊲ Measure and pour the ingredients from one of the drinks below. ⊲ Start shaking. About 30 seconds at least. A little less if you’re using crushed ice, or a little more if that suits your taste. ⊲ Strain the drink into martini glasses. ⊲ If you want to mellow these drinks even further, strain instead into rocks glasses filled with fresh ice. ⊲ For extra credit, chill your glasses beforehand in the freezer. This gives them a frosted look and helps keep the drinks extra cold.

CANDY CANE Equal parts vodka, peppermint schnapps, and white chocolate liqueur (such as Godiva). Garnish with a small candy cane.

PILGRIM’S KISS Equal parts amaretto, bourbon (we love Elijah Craig), and whiskey flavored with honey (like Wild Turkey).

Garnish with a maraschino cherry. Because this drink is bourbon and whiskey, I shake it even longer, shooting for an even smoother 25 percent water.

HARVEST PEAR This one has one less alcoholic ingredient. Equal parts pear vodka (such as Grey Goose), pear sake (yes, there is such a thing), and pear nectar or puree. Garnish with a thinly cut pear wedge. You can swap pear liqueur for the sake, but the drink will be sweeter.

Now go, enjoy your family and friends. It’s the holidaze, after all. ▼ Ed and his husband, Jerry, split their time between homes near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog, Atticus.

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53 Letters

Shady and Tippy These French Bulldogs are the fur children of Bonnie.

FUN FACT One loves treats and one loves trouble.

Can you tell which one loves what? #TreatsAndTrouble Interested in having your critter(s) featured in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth? Send a high resolution picture (300 dpi) along with their name(s) and one fun fact to editor@camprehoboth.com. Our roaming photographer will also take photos in the courtyard all year long.

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(302) 200-9522 | 134 West Market St, Lewes, DE 19958 | harbourlewes@gmail.com www.harbourlewes.com Letters 54 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

55 Letters

GET UP AND GO

BY BETH SHOCKLEY

Walk This Way

W

hen it comes to being outside, some of us aren’t into during daylight hours on their own for a $3 fee. This fee covers competition—we just want to enjoy moving through administrative costs plus the cost to AVA to hold the walk under nature with no pressure. We like to walk or hike a trail its purview. “We sometimes will choose other Delaware walking with other people without worrying about our speed, trails or travel to Maryland, Pennsylvania, or West Virginia to or winning medals or trophies. If participate in club walks.” this speaks to you, then becoming The Webfooters have a 5K part of the American Volkssport and 10K walk New Castle, NewAssociation is a great way to get ark, Dover, Lewes, Rehoboth, and up and go. AVA is a group of folks, Bethany. Rehoboth also has a 25K both locally and nationally, who bike ride. “We also hold two trajust like to get outdoors and walk. ditional events where folks come Volkssporting began in Gerto walk—a spring walk held at the many. It’s a personal fitness, sport, Kent County Recreation Center, and recreation program offering and our fall event held in conjuncnoncompetitive walks and other tion with Rehoboth’s Sea Witch® sports activities. You choose your Festival. What’s Karen’s favorite? time to start within a start/finish “The beach year-rounds and New window and participate at your Castle. Anything that puts me near own pace. Walking—known as the water.”

“Anybody can do this if you have volksmarching—is the most popuKaren has called Delaware in you the spirit to move. And you can lar volkssporting activity. home for more than 20 years. She “It’s fresh air, nature, time is retired from the US Air Force form lifelong friendships.” alone with my thoughts and time and the US Department of Agriwith a friend or family,” says Karculture. She’s the founder of The en Kaufman, describing what she Kritter Sitter, and is now semi-relikes best about AVA walks. She’s Deputy Regional Director tired, working for her wife, Mandy, who now owns the business. for the Atlantic Region. “You can’t beat the health benefit of They serve their four spoiled kitties—Darth “Kitty” Vader, Chief, getting up and moving,” Karen says. “Anybody can do this if Pale Tiger, and Flynn of the Mighty Quinns. you have in you the spirit to move. And you can form lifelong Karen has always been a walker, growing up in southeastern friendships.”

Pennsylvania. “I also played field hockey, basketball, softball, AVA is “America’s Walking Club.” It’s made up of about 250 and tennis. And dabbled with pickleball.” These days, though, chartered sports clubs nationwide whose activities are moniwalking is more Karen’s speed. “We first learn to crawl, then walk tored by 10 regional directors elected by the clubs in their reto run, and then we fall back to walking.” gion. The local chapter is the First State Webfooters. Having just Karen says being part of a walking group like AVA is benemarked their 40th anniversary, the club hosts walking programs ficial for everyone. AVA offers information on participating club throughout the year. walks across the United States. There are no restrictions to join The Webfooters started in the 1980s at Dover Air Force Base; AVA and/or a club. An annual membership to AVA is $25. Most members had encountered volkssporting in Germany and startclub dues are $10-15. ed a chapter in Delaware.

To find out more information, contact First State Karen first got involved with the Webfooters’ free community Webfooters’ President Kathy Kresko at fswf.kathy@gmailcom walking program called Couch-to-5K. It involved eight weeks of or call 302-339-0097. one-day-a-week participation, starting with a half-mile walk and Both year-rounds and traditional walks are identified on the building distance each week until she completed 5K (3.1 miles). “I AVA (cb.ava.org/about2.php) and club websites and indicate had lost my mother the summer before, and the program offered whether dogs and strollers are allowed and whether the walks a way to get out of my rut and commune with like-minded folks,” are accessible to all. ▼ Karen says. “AVA’s motto is, “Fun, Fitness and Friendship.” We ‘Webbys’ like to add a fourth, ‘Food.’” Her wife and fur babies Beth Shockley is a public affairs specialist and former editor of Letters. don’t usually join her on the walks. “My wife is a member but only participates when we have club picnics and parties, which is Shown above:The First State Webfooters, the local chapter of the American true of most spouses or significant others in the club.”

Volksssport Association, celebrate the AVA’s 40th anniversary. Karen Kaufman When it comes to the trails they walk, Karen says all clubs (far left) stands next to 91-year-old Louise Fair, who has been a member since it have what are known as “year-rounds” that anyone can walk was founded.

Letters 56 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

57 Letters

Dining Out

BY FAY JACOBS

A Perfect Catch (of the Day)

C

hesapeake & Maine, Dogfish Head’s neighbor on Rehoboth Avenue and also part of the Dogfish Head family, is a wonderful goto for seafood from the twin locales of the Chesapeake Bay and the state of Maine.

With its nautical décor (navigational charts, portholes, shells, and more) the ambiance is a contemporary take on an old-fashioned seafood house. With the menu mirroring the contemporary but still classic vibe, it’s a great combo.

My official visit for this article gave us a great sampling of the chef’s skills, and our server Sophia’s friendly and very professional service. We also got to try several items we haven’t ordered on our previous visits for lobster and hush puppies.

For starters, Bonnie had the happy-hour oysters—direct from Chesapeake Bay and $1 apiece. An oyster maven, she proclaimed them luscious. For me, I couldn’t resist the appetizer platter, called Baloo’s Picnic, of smoked salmon, roasted golden beets, whipped goat cheese, fig balsamic, and crispy bread.

It was really wonderful, with a lovely presentation with the beets as a standout. And for me, what could be less than awesome about smoked salmon and cream-cheesy goat cheese??? The accompaniment, the Pom Hanks Martini with Dogfish analog vodka, cranberry, and pomegranate, outdid a traditional Cosmo.

(Did I really say that?!)

For entrees, Bonnie, thinking outside the lobster claws, wanted to see how this seafood establishment handled beef. The answer, is very, very well. She had the cooked-to-perfection flat iron steak with garlic parmesan fries and, from our Dogfish friends, a “Beernaise” sauce. This entree was also artfully plated and positively delicious.

Going for fish, I had the Fresh Catch, which is really a choice of catches. The list includes Maine Day Boat scallops, salmon, or pollack, Cape May (how’d that get on the list?) Golden Tilefish, and Chesapeake Bay catfish.

I chose the tilefish, served with Yukon Gold mashed potatoes and carrots, with a plum tomato Vidalia sauce. I loved the fish—it was a little like crabmeat or lobster, a subtle sweet flavor, just right. It was great with or without the sauce.

Letters 58 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

By this time, we could not manage dessert. But I can tell you all about it from previous visits. They offer the Original Smith Island Cake—a soft chocolate ganache with whipped cream and strawberries. It’s scrumptious and you don’t have to take a cold, windy trip in the mail boat over to Smith Island to get it.

…the Pom Hanks Martini with Dogfish analog vodka, cranberry, and pomegranate, outdid a traditional Cosmo. (Did I really say that?!)

Also noting our previous visits at C&M, the restaurant has whole lobster, every day, at just $15 for a good-sized catch. It’s $20 broken apart so you don’t have to get your hands dirty, but frankly, I prefer my lobster with all its inherent messiness. Yes, you can get a bib, but I always manage to decorate my clothes outside its protective lines.

These lobsters are served à la carte, so order a side with it and you’re in great shape. I have a fondness for the hush puppies with a honey mustard dipping sauce or the hand-cut Bay fries.

The menu also offers the hearty C&M Cobb Salad—with chopped iceberg lettuce, Gorganzola, avocado, cherry tomatoes, egg, red onion, smoked bacon, and Ranch dressing. And you can get a choice of protein with it, including chopped lobster, Maryland Blue Crab, fried oysters, salmon, steak, or Maryland crab cake. It’s a feast and I love it.

Want a sandwich? The Maine Lobster Roll is made with melted butter, just like you get it on the coast of Maine. I know some people like a roll with lobster salad, but not me, I want it like it was invented, and you can get it that way at C&M. I haven’t tried the Vegan Faux Crab Cakes, made with mushroom, Dijon, chopped herbs, diced veggies, and avocado aioli, but I bet it’s delicious.

And of course, all of the Dogfish Head beer menu is available as well as their keg-conditioned cocktails like the Moscow Mule. I enjoy the beer flight with my lobster and hush puppies.

Like they do everything, Sam and Mariah Callagione, Dogfish Head founders, make C&M a great (slightly off-center, as their promotional material promises) dining and drinking experience. ▼

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

59 Letters

The REAL DIRT

BY ERIC W. WAHL

Tis the Season…for Groundcovers

W

hen the calendar flips to November, my mouth starts drooling for anything cranberry. It’s a staple in our holiday dinners and in one of our standard cookies for giving to friends and family. Cranberry is an American native, low-spreading woody shrub, perhaps most famous in New England and in the northern Midwest states.

Found in bogs in the wild, its fruit is buoyant and is the reason why they are harvested while flooding the fields in which they are grown.

Cranberries can grow in planting zones 4 through 7 (Delaware is zone 7). However, they do best in the more northern range of these zones.

As my mind dreamed of cranberry relish, cranberry oatmeal cookies, and cranberry sauce sliced evenly along the aluminum can’s rings, I transitioned into thinking of alternative groundcovers that could be used in the landscape.

(Yes, my chosen career path makes me wonder of such Venn diagrams.)

Related to cranberries, blueberries can be a great addition to the garden.

The lowbush blueberry only grows about two feet tall (sometimes three) and can be used as a groundcover in certain areas where you wouldn’t mind a taller plant. Edible berries appear in June as expected, but the fall coloration of blueberry can be quite stunning. A reddish-purple color fills the garden in autumn and adds a third season of interest.

Another low-growing, native woody plant is wintergreen (Gaultheria procumbens), also called teaberry. Its red fruit resembles those of cranberries.

Actually, the extract from this plant is used to flavor such things as teas, candy, and chewing gum. Wintergreen grows very low to the ground and spreads through underground stems. Its leaves also change to red as the nights get colder and daylight gets shorter.

Bearberry (Arctostaphylos uva-ursi) Letters 60 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Wintergreen grows very low to the ground and spreads through underground stems.

Its leaves also change to red as the nights get colder and daylight gets shorter.

is a native, woody groundcover that also has small reddish berries. Bearberry is best suited to sandy soils and is often seen in the New Jersey pine barrens and is very common in the Cape Cod region. A great alternative groundcover in rocky or sandy landscapes, its small leathery leaves turn reddish-purple in fall. Bearberry is long-lived, however its rate of growth is extremely slow. It is also known as kinnickinnick, a word coming from the Indigenous people of

Canada meaning “smoking mixture.”

Let’s keep the woody groundcovers going with cotoneaster. Rockspray cotoneaster (Cotoneaster horizontalis) only grows up to three feet tall. It also produces small red fruits along its distinctive branches, which look similar to fish bones in form. It’s great for rock gardens and walls where its arching branches can spill over and fill the space with texture and color.

Another cotoneaster is Coral Beauty (Cotoneaster dammeri ‘Coral Beauty’), a great low-growing, spreading plant that also has lovely berries in the fall and winter months. Its leaves tinge purple in autumn. Growing up to two feet in height and spreading up to six feet, it makes a handsome, three-season addition to the landscape.

I hope these alternative, woody groundcovers give you inspiration to try in your own gardens. Consider your existing conditions, the soil type that you have, and how much sunlight your area gets. You may find that thinking outside the box will turn your outdoor living space into a brand-new showroom of sorts. Other choices for a woody groundcover (but don’t include the decorative berries) are plumbago, candytuft, creeping St. John’s wort, and numerous spreading junipers.

Here’s to a great Thanksgiving and a happy holiday season. Enjoy the time off from the garden and start planning for next year!

Stay safe and let’s garden together! ▼ Eric W. Wahl is landscape architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

61 Letters

Visiting View Guest Column

BY ROBERT DOMINIC

Thanks, No Thanks

How to Make Thanksgiving More Than a Meal

H

ey Letters readers, it’s Robby from Brooklyn wishing you and yours a very healthy, happy and safe Thanksgiving.

For whatever reason, Thanksgiving has never been something I was overly excited about.

I promise I do love some holidays, this coming so soon after my “I hate Halloween” column.

When I was really young, we would travel a few hours to visit family members we rarely saw.

I remember my sister and me hating having to go all that way for one day. Now I cherish any time I get to spend with those cousins, whether online or IRL. During my twenties, Thanksgiving to me meant an extra night of going out. The Wednesday night before Thanksgiving was historically a huge party night. Is it still? That’s how out of the loop I am now.

I remember jokes about Thanksgiving with the gay friends and mentors: gays hate Thanksgiving, all those carbs! A few years, I ran a turkey trot. I went with a friend to his office which overlooked the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. (Def a way different parade than the Gay Pride one in June...I prefer the Pride one.)

I found myself desperately trying to create Thanksgiving traditions for myself. I thought it would give me a sense of family and of belonging, both of which I felt lucky enough to have a sense of the other 364 days of the year. With age comes wisdom, hopefully, and as I aged I somewhere found the energy to let myself off the hook and to jump off the hamster wheel every once in a while. I am not ashamed to say that some Thanksgivings I stayed home in my pajamas ordering take-out food and binging all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes. (Yes, I know the show does not age well, but I still enjoy it. Brad Pitt!

Rachel’s Trifle!)

Although I have been lucky to have been blessed with a strong support system of family and friends, there are people in this world who are not as lucky. Sadly, there are people all alone in this world. Queer people kicked out of their homes, shunned for coming out and trying to live as their true selves. Older gays who have outlived everyone in their lives. Young adults who grew up in foster care, literally dumped on the street with their belongings in a bag on their 18th birthday.

Every year, they go to grocery stores, laundromats, dollar stores, and other businesses and surprise shoppers by paying for their purchases.

Letters 62 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

“We as gay people, we get to choose our family” are words famously spoken by gay icon and legend RuPaul. Writer Armistead Maupin calls this our “logical family.” Yes, we do get to choose the people we call family; whether they are blood related or not, they are your family. Maybe this Thanksgiving, set an extra place at your table for someone you know might be alone, or might be having a rough year. We can all use a little more kindness in our lives this year.

Many have turned Thanksgiving Day into a day of service. I know many organizations have huge groups of volunteers that morning. Start a new tradition volunteering with friends sometime over the weekend. (Thanksgiving Day might be a bit overwhelming, stressful, and overly crowded, so keep your options open.)

During the 2019 holiday season, my friend Stephan joined friends for the first time to participate in their annual charitable giving event.

Every year, they go to grocery stores, laundromats, dollar stores, and other businesses and surprise shoppers by paying for their purchases.

An introvert by nature, the thought of going up to total strangers and giving them money was light years outside of his comfort zone, he said, “but my discomfort disappeared with the reaction of the first person I surprised—a very stressed-out mom with three fussy kids. When she realized, she hugged me and thanked me and said she had seen things like this on TV but never thought it would happen to her. Even the kids gave us ‘high fives.’ It was awesome. The experiences I had that day reminded me that the things many of us take for granted are a struggle for others, and that giving back to our community is essential.”

So, however and wherever you celebrate Thanksgiving, be thankful for those with you and by your side, and maybe pay some of your good fortune forward. In the immortal words of Tiny Tim, “And God bless us, every one.” Wait, wrong holiday.

Oh, just pass me the mashed potatoes. Hold the carbs please! ▼ Robert Dominic splits his time between Brooklyn and Rehoboth Beach. He writes for publications including Instinct Magazine and his own blog, “The Gays of Our Lives.” When he is not writing he is probably at Poodle Beach.

Proud to be a full time Realtor® serving Sussex County Delaware and the Delaware Seashore since 1989.

Allen Jarmon, Associate Broker

Cell: 302.745.5122 | ajarmon113@gmail.com

NextHome Tomorrow Realty

20028 John J Williams Hwy, Lewes, DE 19958 Office: 302.601.4171

Each office is independently owned and operated.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

63 Letters

Q Puzzle Dangerous Vermin and Flora ACROSS 1 Like Finding Nemo 7 Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, e.g.

13 Off base 15 Some Britten compositions 16 Start of a question 17 End of the question 18 Turned out to be 19 Firefighter, at times 20 Place for trinkets 22 Straight ___ arrow 25 Milk, in a way 26 Smack on the backside, e.g.

30 Food thickening agent 31 Tickle pink 33 Morales of Resurrection Blvd.

35 He gave the answer 37 With 39-Across, she asked the question 39 See 37-Across 40 Either of Heather’s two mommies 44 Xanadu grp.

45 Closemouthed 47 What a Muscle Mary crunches 48 “Candle in the Wind” singer John 50 Change keys to Handel 53 Desert ___ 56 Body of bosses

Solution on Page 92 6 0 Answer to the question 64 Exaggerated stat in a chat room 65 Richards of sex reassignment fame 66 Chain with fruit syrups 67 Chelsea Pines and others 68 Kidman’s award for The Hours 69 Burning software DOWN 1 Sally who rode into space 2 At once, to Byron 3 Mind the bar 4 Ziegfeld Follies costume designer 5 Poet laureate John 6 Date, with “with” 7 Fruit center remover 8 Burdens of proof 9 Fem. opposite 10 Caesar’s invitation to a threesome?

11 “There Is Nothing Like a ___” 12 River of Flanders 14 Drag queen of Drag Race 15 Castro, in San Francisco 21 Brownies’ org.

22 Tequila source 23 Lech of Greek lore

2 4 27 28 29 30 3 1 32 34 36 38 4 1 42 43 46 49 51 52 53 5 4 55 57 5 8 59 61 62 63

Prepare to shoot off Island necklace It’s a good thing Pier ___ Pasolini of film fame Small amount in a stallion’s mouth?

U-turn from WSW Clean air gov’t grp.

Privy to Gives a heads-up to Premature ejaculation duration?

California map word Air rifles shoot them off AOL, e.g.

Walks in a cocky way Sci-fi author Ursula Houston ballplayer It goes with “Law” for Chris Meloni System for a Johnny Mathis song Alfred Douglas’ school Viva, Las Vegas middle name “___ Walked into My Life” (Mame) Part of a Hitchcock title Bruin nickname Cocks and bulls Mandela org.

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delawarehospice.org 302.683.8948 Letters 64 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

MORE THAN HOSPICE

ENTERTAINMENT MINUTES FROM THE BEACHES! November 20 - CALM THE F* DOWN, IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET Stand-Up Comedy Sepcial / 8PM November 21 - RELEVE': Wilmington Ballet / 3PM November 27 - BON JERSEY: Tribute To Bon Jovi / 8PM December 2 - CARTOON CHRISTMAS TRIO / 7PM December 4 - POLAR EXPRESS: Pajama Party Film Screening / 11AM & 2PM December 4 - PEEK-A-BOO REVUE: Holiday Burlesque / 8PM December 5 - THE AMERICAN ROGUES / 2PM HUNKS: THE SHOW December 5 - SINGER/SONGWRITER CHRISTMAS: Sol Knopf, Cliff All-Male Revue Hillis, Keith Mack, & Ed Shockley / 8PM November 28 - Sunday - 8PM December 9 - DEANNA FITZPATRICK: Psychic Medium / 7PM December 11 - CAPITAL RINGERS: Handbell Ensemble / 2PM & 7PM December 12 - HOLIDAY TEA: Interactive Show For Kids / 1PM December 12 - NOT SO SILENT NIGHT: Christine Havrilla & Mama's Black Sheep / 7PM December 16 - CLOSE TO YOU: A Carpenters Christmas / 7:30PM December 17 - HO! HO! HO!: Holiday Stand-Up Comedy Show / 8PM December 18 - CHRISTMAS TRIBUTE TO ELVIS: Jesse Garron / 3PM & 8PM SISTER'S CHRISTMAS CATECHISM December 19 - THE RISING: (Unplugged) Trans-Siberian Orchestra Tribute / 2PM Mystery Of The Magi's Gold December 19 - THE NUTCRACKER SUITE: Delmarva Big Band / 7PM December 3 - Friday - 8PM

WE THREE QUEENS

Presented by Magnolia Applebottom with BEV & Mona Lotts

December 10 - Friday - 8PM

unGALA: BOOTLEGGERS BALL Milton Theatre Fundraising Event 2022

Saturday, January 8 - 8PM

For more information on tickets, show details, and full events calendar go to:

DAME EDNA'S NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY! Featuring: Early Countdown December 31 - Friday - 8PM

www.MILTONTHEATRE.com 302.684.3038 110 Union St. Milton, DE

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

65 Letters

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

A Gay Old Time—Halloween in Rehoboth Beach THIS PAGE: (left to right) 1) Halloween in Rehoboth: David Frost (The Pines); David Camorali, Bradley Kirke (Freddie’s); John Potthast, Jay Chalmers (Aqua); Kristina Kelly, Cliff Lassahn, Wendy Eaby, Darin Slabe, Bruce Clayton, Tom Newton, Mike Ballas, Joe M., Tim Murray, Thom Martin (The Pines); Tony Burns, Cher (Steve Andrade) (Freddie’s); Fred Slagle, Scott Beadle (Blue Moon); Ray Santiago, Dave Gonce, Chuck Ivims, Amy Thompson (The Pines); Brent Quinn, Ceina McGregor, Steve Morris, Matt McGregor, Stephanie Steyer, Jeff Steyer (Aqua); Mike Lewis (The Pines).

OPPOSITE PAGE: 2) More Halloween in Rehoboth: Alex Reed, Randy Haney, Deb Millard, Katie Ervin, Matthew Stensrud, Michael Cohen, Tim Ragan, Even Kier (Blue Moon); Tony DiMichele, Jeff Smith (The Pines); Brie You, Ariel Von Quinn (Aqua); David Beidman, Patrick Maloney (Freddie’s); Scott Silber, Albert Davis (Sea Witch); Mike Scott, Scott Brickner, Matthew Jasinski, Ricardo Ramirez, John Ptasinski (Freddie’s); Mike Burke, Alexa Burke, Bryan Hoffman (Sea Witch);

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SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

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THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at the Sea Witch Parade: Ann Scott, Philithea Duckett, Katie Handy, Gwen Osborne, Richard Looman, David Herchik, Brian Shook, Bill Clark, Derek Thomas, Karl Zoric, Mark Pipkin, , Charles Bounds, Jeremy Bernstein, Jonathan Lockerby, Leon Vignes; 2) at the Sea Witch Pet Parade: Bill Gluth, Channing Daniels, Duane Reed, Sandra Skidmore, David Scuccimarra, Dianna Johnston.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 3) at Miss Gay Eastern States America at RB Convention Center: Greg Mayer, Tom Protack, Marc Chose, Doug Lynn, Pam Lynn, Lowell Sealt, Robert Bledsue, David Pardue, Andora, Nick Smith, Anna Halligan, Jamie Thompson, Amy Thompson, Chuck Ivins. 4) at Aqua: Tony DiMichelle, Robert Rowe, David Towner, Jeff Smith, Katie Lyell, Angelo Tabbita, Bryan Hecksher, Kim Whitmer. 5) at The Pines: A.J. Hemhill, Katie Lyell, Mona Lotts, Victor Diaz, Seth Sikes, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, Lion Gardner, Meghan Gardner.

(More CAMPshots page 86)

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A Gay Old Time—Halloween in Rehoboth Beach

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69 Letters

View Point

BY RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

When Silence Betrays Us Our differences must be aired, not suppressed

C

an we talk? Even—or especially—with a thorny subject in which we are bound to give and receive offense? If not, we are in trouble. We have already picked the low-hanging fruit. What is left is the hard stuff.

Look at the political landscape: Texas Governor Greg Abbott signs an antitrans youth sports bill into law. A high school play is canceled in Ohio because a local pastor complains about a gay character. An anti-LGBTQ candidate won the governor’s race in Virginia in part by not appearing with our 45th (and would-be 47th) president, whose divisive politics he nonetheless echoes.

This is no season for angry silence.

Luckily, Thanksgiving approaches, and most of us are familiar with awkward family gatherings. So, let’s stick our toes in the water.

Two of the biggest recent throwdowns are the furor over an arcane academic subject called Critical Race Theory (CRT) and the flap over Dave Chappelle’s discussion of transgender people in his latest Netflix comedy special.

A white woman in a Republican gubernatorial campaign ad is angry that she couldn’t get Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved pulled from a high school AP reading list. That novel by a Pulitzer- and Nobel-winning author is no more about CRT than when I kiss my fiancé good morning.

Jason Johnson, associate professor of communication and journalism at Morgan State University, notes that he teaches at a historically black university and doesn’t teach CRT. Nor is it taught to schoolchildren. What is really happening is cynics stoking fear to suppress discussion of America’s racist history.

Morrison is black and her novel deals with slavery, so she’s convicted in advance, like the victims of Kyle Rittenhouse, whose murder trial for Letters 70 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

shooting protesters in Wisconsin is stacked in his favor by a judge who won’t let his victims be called victims but lets them be called rioters and looters.

One thing that arises in discussing the Chappelle flap is the claim that trans women are murdered disproportionately.

Any murders are too many, but this statistic is thinly sourced. It is dealt with

Those who benefit most from our fixation on fragility are rightwing, anti-LGBTQ racists. Stonewall was rooted in queer folk refusing to be victims. in a 2019 article in The Stranger, “Is the Life Expectancy of Trans Women in the U.S. Just 35? No.” That bogus stat is reminiscent of anti-gay researcher Paul Cameron, who averaged the ages of death in obituaries in gay papers at the height of the AIDS epidemic and declared that the life expectancy of gay men was 43. Among other errors, he omitted the majority who survived.

Calling this an example of “facts too good to check” only provokes accusations of murderous indifference to trans lives. Such emotional blackmail causes many people to keep quiet but does not change a single mind nor save a single life.

Any citation of pro-trans credentials is met with scorn. Any divergence from the party line makes me a clueless cis gay bigot blinded by privilege. If I cite trans comedian Flame Monroe’s defense of Chappelle, she will be dismissed as a sellout.

One activist insisted claims of “cancel culture” are false, the proof being that attempts at censoring Dave have failed. I compared that to declaring a murderous shooter innocent because he missed his target. The activist was disgusted by my insensitive analogy.

If I say I am proud of Dave as a fellow native Washingtonian—even if I add that his comments on the controversy are not helpful—I get eye-rolls. Saying, like a black journalist friend, that I found Dave’s story about his late trans friend Daphne Dorman extraordinary, gets me nowhere. Those determined to take offense always succeed.

To note that Dave is a master practitioner of his craft will get no more hearing than pointing out that comedy is inherently transgressive.

The professionally outraged do not care any more than a tyrant arresting political cartoonists. The difference is that the tyrant has more power than the totalitarians of the American left, who only isolate themselves.

Those who benefit most from our fixation on fragility are right-wing, antiLGBTQ racists. Stonewall was rooted in queer folk refusing to be victims. That has been turned on its head by people who appear to regard their ineffectuality as a point of pride.

We need to desist from unilateral demands (as if we are a conquering army) and reach across our divides rather than hold one another hostage.

Justice cannot be achieved through unjust means. ▼ Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist at rrosendall@me.com.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

71 Letters

arts+entertainment

BY DOUG YETTER

SPOTLIGHT ON THE

arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community

Come, Ye Thankful People, Come

A

s we enter the season of what should be endless holiday revelry, we need to take a moment and give thanks for those of us who survive, remember those who didn’t, and do what we can to forgive most of 2020 and what will likely be the entirety of 2021. Let forgiveness be the first step on your path to healing. And celebrate, ever so cautiously. ▼

CAMP REHOBOTH UPCOMING SHOWS Pacem in Terris Traveling Peace Artwork—This juried exhibit connects us to our deeper sense of humanity as it highlights positive messages and visions of peace from young artists (ages five to 18) from around Delaware. Today’s children prove they have a strong voice about what their future should be. Treat yourself to a moment of peace amidst the hectic holiday season.

HINENI (Here I Am)—Works by contemporary abstract expressionist painter, Rebecca Davidson, explore motion, color, and texture through monumental, layered paintings. Rebecca, currently pursuing an MFA from the Savannah College of Art and Design, hopes this body of work speaks of her own identity of being queer, multiethnic, Jewish, and autistic.

BOTH SHOWS run December 3, 2021-January 3, 2022, with an Opening Reception on December 3 (5-9 pm).

Above, Freak by Rebecca Davidson.

Above right, image from Pacem in Terris Traveling Peace Artwork.

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CAMP REHOBOTH highlights our community’s unique history and culture, and serves to further diversity, equity, and inclusion, by building unity and understanding. Exhibits may be viewed Monday-Friday, 10:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m., or by appointment by emailing artshow@CAMPRehoboth.com. You may view and purchase the art on the CAMP Rehoboth website under the “SHOP” heading.

arts+entertainment PERFORMING ARTS Capital Ringers (PO Box 35, Lewes; capitalringers.org) hits the road with We NEED a Little Christmas, November 27-December 12 in Lewes, Millsboro, Ocean Pines, and Milton. See website for details and locations.

Cinema Art Theater (17701 Dartmouth Drive, Lewes; 302-313-4032; rehobothfilm. com) continues to follow all CDC guidelines, with reduced seating capacity for in-person viewing, and dozens of films available for streaming. The Met: Live in HD: Eurydice, December 13-14. See website for information.

Mispillion Performance Series continues their premiere season with the Siepp/Sheets Trumpet and Organ Duo on November 20, and flutist Carla Lancelotti Auld with pianist Michael Fennelly on December 18— both at 7p.m. at Epworth United Methodist Church (19285 Holland Glade Road).

FREE and open to the public.

Possum Point Players (441 Old Laurel Road, Georgetown; 302-856-4560; possumpointplayers.org) unwraps their production of Elf the Musical as their holiday gift, December 3-12.

Rehoboth Concert Band (rehobothconcertband.org) presents their Holiday Peace Concert, featuring traditional Clear Space Theatre carols, medleys with surprise Company (20 Baltimore “twists,” and songs of global Avenue; 302-227-2270; peace. December 19 (3p.m.) at ClearSpaceTheatre.org) presents Scrooge the Musical, Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Road. See website for November 26-December 19. information and tickets.

See website for details.

The Milton Theater (110 Union Street, Milton; 302-6843038; miltontheatre.com) has reduced capacity for social distancing and continues to present a remarkably diverse array of shows and talent. See website for events.

Hillside, Spring by Nick Serratore at Peninsula Gallery.

Second Street Players (2 South Walnut Street, Milford; 302-422-0220 / 800-838-3006; secondstreetplayers.com) has the perennial holiday favorite It’s a Wonderful Life onstage November 26-December 5.

Southern Delaware Chorale (PO Box 444, Rehoboth Beach; 302-260-7022; southerndelawarechorale.org) presents their holiday concert Sing Joyfully!, December 5, 3 p.m. at Epworth UMC (19285 Holland Glade Road).

Birth of Everything Imaginable by David Heatwole at Rehoboth Art League.

features Exum Art (through November 30), Pacem in Terris, and HINENI. (See listing elsewhere in this column.)

Gallery 50 (50 Wilmington Avenue; 302-227-2050; gallery50art.com) offers complete framing services and represents several talented artists. Currently showing Retrospective: Bill Snow through November 27.

Milton Arts Guild (107 Federal Street, Milton; 302-684-1500; miltonartsguild.org) celebrates their new home with a virtual exhibit All About Lines. Visit their website for classes and upcoming events.

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Peninsula Gallery (520 E. Savannah Road, Lewes; 302-645-0551; peninsula-gallery.com) presents Big Skies, a collection of new pastels from local favorite Nick Serratore, through November 21. Their 18th annual holiday show, Small Jewels, features works limited in size and price, and opens November 27.

CAMP Rehoboth Gallery (37 Baltimore Avenue; 302-2275620; camprehoboth.com)

Rehoboth Art League (12 Dodds Lane, Henlopen Acres; 302-227-8408; rehoboth-

artleague.org) has several exhibits: Seascapes-Under the Surface: Information, works by David Heatwole and David Curtis; and The Lonely Girl, works by Constance McBride. Check website for upcoming exhibitions and class offerings. ▼ Doug is the Artistic Director for CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, Director of Music Ministries at Epworth UMC, and co-founder and Artistic Director emeritus of the Clear Space Theater Company. Contact Doug at dougyetter@ gmail.com if you want to add your events to the calendar. Check out CAMP Arts on our website at camprehoboth.com for links to all the listed theatres, galleries and museums.

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on www.DelawareScene.com.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

73 Letters

arts+entertainment

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

BOOKED SOLID How We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned About Love and LGBTQ Parenthood

by Trystan Reese c.2021, The Experiment $24.95/$32.95 Canada, 216 pages

There is no picket fence in front of your house.

There’s no singing milkman to bring your breakfast and the next-door neighbor doesn’t coffee-klatsch with you every morning after your two-point-five kids go to school. There’s not, in fact, one 1962-normal thing about your home or your family but as in the new memoir, How We Do Family by Trystan Reese, what you’ve got is better.

Parenthood was never on the table. Finding love seemed hard enough for Trystan Reese, perhaps because he “came out as transgender at age nineteen” and hadn’t had “any models for healthy non-heterosexual relationships.” Still, Reese knew he “was a boy who liked other boys” and he “fell in love...almost immediately” with a man named Biff.

They decided to weigh their relationship deliberately—no rushing—but there ended up being a complication: Biff’s sister was having problems, and his baby niece and toddler nephew were caught up in the situation. Though Reese and Biff had only been dating for about a year and they were living together in a non-child-proof apartment, there was no questioning what to do. They stepped in to care for both children.

It was not all instant Mary Poppins.

Biff’s niece had a nasty case of diaper rash. His nephew was “profoundly traumatized” and couldn’t handle loud noises.

Communication was basically via hand signal. But the longer

Letters 74 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

the kids were with them, the deeper in love Reese fell for them, and for Biff.

The two men got engaged in the middle of a small concert, and although marriage wasn’t legal in the area in which they lived, they married anyway before formally adopting the kids and then settling down to a happily ever after.

And yet, there was something nagging at Reese. He’d always dreamed of a dark-eyed baby and felt that it was meant to be his. Though he’d been a trans man for about a decade, it was still possible for him to give birth. He’d have to convince Biff, but...baby? Maybe?

Not to be a spoiler, but you know the answer. The story itself might even be familiar, too. When there are so many trans-man-gives-birth books on the shelves today, why should you read How We Do Family?

Because author Trystan Reese goes beyond.

This isn’t just an angsty, tizzied, nervous story of boymeets-boy, boom-instant-family. It’s also somewhat of a guidebook, going beyond with hints and reminders for LGBTQ parent-caretakers, and pages of advice snuck between chapters in a gentle, non-intrusive manner that feels like an arm around the shoulder. This, plus Reese’s unabashed willingness to be frank and his work as an activist give readers the ability to trust the veracity of what they read. Win-win.

One thing: be warned. In How We Do Family, Reese details his first pregnancy, which ended in miscarriage, and the account follows the rest of the book’s no-holds-barred frankness. It’s graphic, but it’s a part of the story—maybe your story—so if you’re doing family your own way, then pick it up. ▼ Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was three years old and never goes anywhere without a book. Always Overbooked, she lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 15,000 books.

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

75 Letters

Behind the Legend

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Why Tracey Scott Wilson Deserves Your Respect

A

retha Franklin’s journey to self-discovery is seen through the lens of openly lesbian screenwriter Tracey Scott Wilson in Respect, the biopic starring Jennifer Hudson as Detroit’s own Queen of Soul. In director Liesl Tommy’s film, Wilson focuses on Franklin’s tumultuous path to the top, one that involved many years of fighting for personal and professional agency.

The movie’s message—find your own voice—is one Wilson is very familiar with.

After all, she’s lesbian. And, like Aretha, a preacher’s daughter.

CA: There are so many ways to tell Aretha’s story. How do you think your identity helped shape the narrative direction of the story as you chose to tell it?

TSW: That’s such a great question and something that no one has ever asked me. I didn’t know that Carolyn [Aretha’s younger sister] was a lesbian and so, when I found that out, that was just huge.

CA: So was Carolyn your inroad to this story?

TSW: I think that Aretha was still the inroad, but because of her and Erma [Aretha’s elder sister], they were really important because I realized how much they influenced her, and vice versa. And whenever I was thinking about Aretha, I was thinking about where her sisters were at that moment.

CA: Of course there’s gay gospel musician and Aretha collaborator James Cleveland, played by Tituss Burgess in the movie. Do you think Aretha coming out of her shell and harnessing her inner power had anything to do with the LGBTQ+ people around her, like Carolyn and James?

TSW: I actually do believe that. James Cleveland would have these parties and there were just gay people there, where it was sort of unspoken. Singers in the Black churches, ministers of music….

I think that her father, from all of my research, was just never sort of judgmental about that. I mean, I think it was Letters 76 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

different when it came to his own daughter. But I do think that seeing so many people—women, gay men—just live their truest under her father’s roof really did help her later on, in terms of just declaring her own identity.

CA: Why do you think Aretha’s contemporaries, like Diana Ross and Patti LaBelle, are considered gay icons but Aretha is rarely referred to as one?

TSW: I think that the reason she hasn’t traditionally fallen into that category is because of her relationship with the church.

For so many gay people, the church has been a source of pain. And for Aretha, it was a source of pain, but also her greatest source of inspiration. I think that’s why she wasn’t a gay icon. You know, Amazing Grace is her best-selling album [Note: It’s also the best-selling gospel album of all time, period].

CA: To me, a lot of things that Aretha had done in her career fall into the gay icon category: the over-the-top exuberance, the voice, the sass, the shade.

TSW: Carolyn, she wrote “Ain’t No Way” to be…it’s a gay anthem. When you look at those lyrics, it was so clear. You know what she’s talking about.

CA: Do you think Aretha knew?

TSW: Oh, absolutely. I think the lyrics spoke to her as well, but her singing there was also an acknowledgement of her sister.

CA: I can’t find a lot of examples of Aretha actually openly talking about her LGBTQ+ fanbase.

TSW: I don’t think that was because of any type of shame. I just think that she was so intensely private that any opening up of that conversation would’ve meant talking about Carolyn. It would’ve meant talking about James Cleveland. It would’ve meant talking about her childhood. And she just didn’t want to.

CA: Because of the movie, now I hear “Ain’t No Way” in a brand-new queer light.

It really does sound like a gay anthem.

TSW: Yeah, it really is. I hope it gets reclaimed. Because of just time, I wasn’t able to talk about Carolyn being a lesbian in the movie. There were a couple of

scenes where I sort of laid it out. They had conversations, but it had to be cut.

CA: Can you talk about the scenes that didn’t make the cut?

TSW: There’s a scene where Aretha and Erma were talking to Carolyn, and they were asking her about someone she had previously dated and Carolyn was basically saying, “Don’t. Please. Don’t ever mention that girl’s name again.” And there was another scene where she started wrestling with who she was interested in.

CA: Maybe the follow-up you write is Carolyn’s story.

TSW: Wouldn’t that be something?

Wouldn’t it? Carolyn and James’s story. ▼ Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ wire service. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey, and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ, and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @ chrisazzopardi.

Photo: Quantrell D. Colbert/Metro-GoldwynMayer Pictures

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NOVEMBER 19, 2021

77 Letters

Continued from page 77

Wendy Bromfeld* Ronald Butt & Steve Cannon* William Byron & Ali Lazur Debbie Cali & Maddie Cunningham Ingrid Callmann & Karen Askins* Helen Chang & Pat Avery Charlie Codacovi* Community Bank Delaware* Mark Conheady* Lois Cortese & Jill Stokes X Kay Creech & Sharon Still* Kenneth Currier & Mike Tyler X John D’Amico* Linda DeFeo X J. Lynne Dement & Lisa J. Snyder* Jim DiLalla & In Memory of Frederick Episcopo* Tony DiMichele & Jeff Smith* Joe DiSalvo* Donna Dolce* Kevin Doss & Arie Venema Arlyce Dubbin & Kathleen Heintz* Brenda Dunn & Karen Anderson Richard Egler Susan Eig & Ellen Schiff X Jeanne Embich* Maureen Ewadinger* Ellen Feinberg & Lesley Rogan X Barbara Fitzpatrick & Denise Centinaro Sara Ford & Anne Donick* Roland Forster & David McDonald Deb Fox & Deb Bonneau Charles Gable Christopher Galanty & James Apistolas Ron Glick & Tien Pham* William Gluth & Channing Daniel* Ed Gmoch* Mike Gordy & Ed Brubaker Joe Gottschall & Scott Woody Charles Graham* Deborah Grant & Carol Loewen* Todd Hacker Jen Hackler Siobhan Halmos & Beth McLean* Sharon Hansen X Pat Harte & Nancy Sigman Steve Hayes Tracey & Erica Hellman Nancy Hewish & Vicki Martina* Bill Hillegeist X Mary Anne Hoopes & Dianna Johnston* Vance Hudgins & Denny Marcotte* John Hulse X Mary Huntt & Angela Creager Janet Idema & Patricia Higgins* Frank Jump & Vincenzo Aiosa* Sharon Kanter & Cyndy Bennett* Mark Kehoe X Maryl Kerley & Pat Sagat X Bonnie Kirkland & Wanda Bair X Jay Kottoff & Mark Matey* Rob & Jean Krapf X Barbara Lang & Diane Grillo* Jim Lesko Chip Logan Dale & Sue Lomas* Duncan MacLellan & Glenn Reighart* Robb Mapou & Mike Zufall Marsha Mark & Judy Raynor* James Mastoris & Edward Chamberlain X Jonathan Mattner & Chad Rinker Michael & Stephan Maybroda Kathy & Steve McGuiness* Kate McQueen* Margaret Moore & Sheree Mixell X

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RED LEVEL Guy Abernathey X Dale Adams Adrienne & Kim* Jim Affonco X Mark Aguirre & Wayne Gleason X Bill Alldredge X Stephani Allison & Judith Gorra X Ria Allman Marge Amodei* Alan Anderson X Daniel Anderson & Greg Melanson Lois Andreasen & Jean McCullough* Andrea Andrus & Maggie Shaw X

Letters 78 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Peter Antolini X Patricia Antonisse X Wanda Armwood & Illona Williams Terry & Gayle August Josh Bach & Edward Ginley Kathleen Bailey X John Baker & Richard Latham X John D. Baker June Baker* Sarah Barnett Curtiss Barrows X Brian Bartels Eric Barton & Greg Nagel John Batchelor X Karen Beck Beebe Medical Foundation* Pat Beebe Mike Behringer & Nelson Correa* Alex Belano Sheryl Bender & Doreen DiLorenzo* George Benes & Michael Mallee X Suzanne Bennethum & Deborah Smith Jeri Berc X John Berdini X Joel Berelson & Charles Maples* James C. P. Berry & Matthew Stanislao Lisa Beske - In Loving Memory of Steve Elkins Christine Bielenda & Karen Feuchtenberger* Thomas Biesiadny X Deb Bievenour & Susan Shollenberger* Beatrice Birman & Mary Malgoire Lorraine Biros* Cathin Bishop & Laura Simon X Jason Blachek* Ann Black & Kaye Wachsmuth X Carol Blair* Eric Blondin - State Farm Insurance Rehoboth Beach X Jacquelyn Blue X Rev. Dr. Tom Bohache & Tom Laughingwolf Simmons X Annabelle Boire* Carl Bomberger & Mike Rhoads Robin Bond & Leanna Johannes* Bob Bonitati X Joy Boone & Marina Simmers X Randall Borgerson X Pete Borsari X Laura Borsdorf X Nancy Bouse & Norma Morrison X David & Donna Bowman X Deni Boyer & Loretta Imbrogono Brian Boyle & Larry Gee X Beth Bozman Jim Brady & Mike Hays X Victor Branham & Mark Clark Kelly Brennan & Susan McVey* Susan Brinsfield & Barbara Devenport Debora Brooke * Kevin Brown X Lyn Brown & Winsome Boyd Mathew Brown Diane Bruce & Annie Sorvillo* Daniel Bruner & Tim Beymer Jack Bucchioni Donald Bucher & Kevin Paul Al Bulliner X Belinda Buras & Linda Simeone Geoffrey Burkhart & Bruce Williams* Lyn Burleson & Sharon Werner* Carol L. Burnett X Mary Jean Burns & Novalyn Winfield Rob Burns & Cris Hamer* Stephen Burt & Michael Jones Timothy B. Bush X

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Henry & Marcia DeWitt X Romy Diaz & Dennis Bann Julie Dickson X Richard Dietz Phyllis Dillinger Mary Dipietro & Wendy Schadt* Deb Dobransky & Ketty Bennett* Arthur Dochterman X David & Lizann Dockety X Peg Dolan & Mary McDevitt X Millie Donnell Debbie & Karen Dorris* Kathryn Downs Frances Doyle X Paul Dradransky X Zita Dresner Michael Driscoll & Ben McOmber X Susan Dube & Diana Patterson* Deanna Duby & Carol Bruce Barry Dunkin Gene Dvornick X Sue Early X Frank Echols & Robert Robinson Eden Restaurant X Claire Edmondson & Louise Bylicki Brad Edwards Gail Elliott & Bea Hickey* Pamela Elliott W. Kay Ellis Susan Farr & Joanne Pozzo Alexis Faust Rene Fechter & Cynthia Smith Larry & Ro Fedorka Karen Ferguson Virginia Fessler & Chris Patton Jayne & Ro Fetterman* Irene & Edward Fick* Allen Fred Fielding X Joe Filipek & Larry Richardson X Mark Finkelstein & Michael Zeik X Paul Finn & Joseph Porporino Rick Fischer X Barbara Fischetti & Janet Thoden Gary Fisher & Josh Bushey* James Fitzsimmons & Brian Burdelle Keven Fitzsimmons & Jeff Stroud X Chuck Flanagan X Paul Florentino & Chris Pedersen X Sandra Fluck & Beverly Morgan* Mary Ford & Judy Hedrick X Beebe Frazer X Phil Fretz X Billiemichelle & Evelyn Friel* Neil Frock & Bob Harrison* Bill Fuchs* Marilyn Fuller & Teresa Marigliano June Rose Futcher Lorraine Gaasche & Jill Mayer* Frank Gainer & Ramon Santos* Lynn Gaites & Faye Koslow X Nina Galerstein* Marcia Gallo & Ann Cammett Jerry Gallucci & Conrad Welch* Karen Gantz & Jeanie Geist Kathryn Gantz & Kathryn Gehret Don Gardiner X Cheri Garnet & Cynthia Arno Patricia Garrison Mindy Gasthalter* Wilson Gates X Charles George & Dennis Rivard X Tracey Gersh & Amy Johnson Gary Gillard X Jordan Gipple & Paul Weppner* Joan Glass X Karen Glooch X Jane Godfrey* Randall Godwin X Jackie Goff & Mary Vogt X Continued on page 80

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EOE | 424 Savannah Rd, Lewes, DE 19958 | www.facebook.com/beebecareers NOVEMBER 19, 2021

79 Letters

Continued from page 78

Dave Gold & In Memory of James Yiaski X Robert Gold X Mel Goldberg Suzanne Goldstein & Dana Greenwald X Milton Gordon & Bill Hromnak X Teresa Gordy & Barb Ford X Dan Goren & Peter Robinson X Anita Gossett & Ronnie Smith* Amy Grace & Karen Blood* Lisa & Raymond Graff* Angela Grant & Zoe Fitzpatrick* Paul R. Grant & Marc Watrel* Cheryl Graves Harvey Grider Kenneth Grier* Richard Grifasi X John Grillone & Paul Schlear Jr. X Joseph Gritz X Wendy Grooms & Barbara Fishel X Carol Gross X James Gross X Richard & Frances Grote* Paula Grubbs X Christopher Guidone Helene Guilfoy X Bill Gunning & Joe Greoski X Marie & Ken Haag* Jay Haddock & Hector Torres* Gerard M. Haley & George D. Zahner X Cynthia Hall X Barbara Hals & Sharon Dyke Mark Hare & Mike Newman X Kelley Harp X David Harrer & Floyd Kanagy* Mary Hartman & Laurie Nelson Jeff Haslow X Janece Hausch* John & Mary Havrilla* Nancy Hawpe Daniel F.C. Hayes* Gail Hecky* Barb & Len Hedges-Goetti Leslie Hegamaster & Jerry Stansberry* Linda Heisner X Matthew Hennesey* David Herchik & Richard Looman X Fred Hertrich X Howard Hicks & Stephen Carey X Barbara Hines & Nancy Froome X Howard C. Hines, MD X Karen Hinman Janel Hino & Patricia Ann Scully X David Hogue & Michael Utasi Connie Holdridge* Robert Holloran & Ed Davis* Brad Holsinger & Ed Moore Mod Cottage* Chris Holt & Emory Bevill X Mollyne Honor & Shelley Garfield Larry Hooker X James T. Hopkins X Elaine Horan & Debbie Sciallo X Frank Hornstein & Mark Henckel X James Hospital & Jack Fraker* Robert Hotes X Ellan Hylton Batya Hyman & Belinda Cross* Thomas Ingold X Chris Israel & John Stassi X Debbie Isser & Fran Leibowitz Geoffrey Jackson & Will Delany X Fay Jacobs & Bonnie Quesenberry X Sharon Janis X Steve Janosik & Rich Snell X

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Letters 80 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

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Rehoboth Art League* Peter S. Reichertz X Ken Reilly & Tony Ghigi X Virginia Reime & Gene Tadlock* Jeff Reinhart & Jack Miller* Patricia Remeis & Maureen Kane Don Reppy Thomas Resh & Jeffrey Meyers X Judith Retchin & Elyse Wander X Deborah Reuter & Deborah Bea* Sarah Reznek & Babette Pennay Sandie Riddell & Eileen Siner* Marion Ridley & Mark Lundy X Keith & John Riley-Spillane X Joel Robbins & Michael Linder X Sandra Robbins X William Robbins & Gary Ralph Sandy Roberts X Rob Robertson & Carlos Taylor X Teri & Amy Robinson-Guy Craig Rocklin X Tim Rodden & Randy Clayton X John & Susan Roehmer* Jeanne Rogers* Roy Rollins X Lauren Romig X Debbie Ronemus & Peggy Sander* Ed Rose & Sandra Robbins X Michael Rose & David Le Sage Peter Rosenstein X Larry L. Ross X Ellen & Terry Roth Perreault X Barb Rowe X Ski Rowland & Gary Mosher X Joan Rubenstein X Mary K. Ryan* Steve Sage & Thom Swiger X Chris Sailer & Min Mancini Joe & Nancy Sakaduski* Margaret Salamon* Cindy Sanders & Donna Smith* Sanford & Doris Slavin Foundation X Kim Schilpp* Nancy Schindler & Eric Youngdale Michael Schlechter & Kevin Sharp X Lisa Schlosser & Sherri Brown Rosemarie Schmidt & Carolyn Horn X Kirk Schneck Holly Schneider & Linda Haake Jaime Schneider & Glenn Randall X Peter Schott & Jeffrey Davis* Carol Schwartz X Craig Schwartz & William Pullen X Mona Schwartz & Joanne Tramposch* Carol Scileppi & Valerie McNickol* Diane Scobey X John Scotti & Greg Landers David Scuccimarra & Dorothy Fedorka* Clifton C. Seale & Charles A. Gilmore* Nancy Bradley Seibert* Shirley Semple* Marj Shannon* Dale Sheldon & Pat Coluzzi X Kelly Sheridan & Debra Quinton David Sherman X George Shevlin & Jack Suwanlert* William Shively & TD Stanger Davis Short & Beverly Castner Francine Siedlecki Frank Silverio X Marc Silverman & John Campbell* Kelly Simon Joanne Sinsheimer & Margaret Beatty* Sandra Skidmore X Continued on page 83

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81 Letters

e h t d n a H T CAMP REHOBO S R A E B H C A E B H REHOBOT

E V I R D Y O T present the 2021 TS

A O C d n a S E V O L G PLUS HATS,

Letters 82 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Continued from page 780

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83 Letters

The Writing Life

BY JANIS MILLS

Fifty Years to Authenticity

I

n June 2018, I began writing my family history. The true story was filled with tales of circus performers, multiple deaths in a backyard, schizophrenia, alcoholism, drug abuse, out of wedlock pregnancy, physical abuse, a plane crash, wife swapping, and homosexuality. I pitched what I thought was a colorful and compelling story to a panel at a writers’ conference and to a New York Times best-selling author.

At the end of my presentations, both audiences told me, “No, you need to tell your story.” They believed that the story of my own life was what the world needed to hear. Though it had been easy writing about my family’s—other people’s—secrets, telling my own was far more difficult. I realized what I needed to do was to use my truth to help those who were hiding theirs.

I knew I was gay at the age of eight.

Hearing my mother’s definition of “queer” described me perfectly but her disapproval meant I would hide my truth for years and immediately leave my small town in Pennsylvania for city life in Washington, DC, after college.

My mother, burdened by her own tragic secrets and a possible lesbian encounter of her own, could not support

me telling my truth and proclaimed she would “blame herself and not know what to do for the rest of her life” if I didn’t have “normal feelings toward men.” Worrying that my mother might even take her own life, and despite having a father who, raised in the non-traditional life of circus performers, encouraged me to be my true self, I lied. I replied to this person I loved more than anyone, “Of course I do, Mum.” COMING OUT: It Only Took Fifty Years has been described as a moving and inspiring call to action to openly love, and to love who you love right now. The memoir is a celebration of living an authentic life every day. The highest compliment I received was when my editor came out to her family the day after reading my story.

In my book, I share how, for a long time, I lived a double life as a polite straight daughter and a passionate gay lover. When I became a teacher and high school principal, I began living a triple life, adding a hidden nocturnal world centered around bartending in dangerous neighborhoods in Washington, DC, where I was hit by a rock, saw a gun pulled on a friend, witnessed fights, saw arrests, and experienced marches that pitted straights against gays. During this time, I jumped from girlfriend to girlfriend and dabbled in

After 30 years of career accomplishments, numerous short-lived gay relationships, and a few flings with straight girls, I finally met the beautiful, green-eyed blonde I would marry…

The author (right) with her wife.

Letters 84 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

activities far different from the straight educator I portrayed by day. It was exhausting.

Many will recognize the stories of gay life I share now. From the days of Nomad Village and the Boat House in Dewey Beach to The Strand, the Renegade, and Cloud 9 in Rehoboth Beach, and including Phase One, the Lost and Found, and Tracks in Washington, DC. I did it all, meanwhile returning every Monday through Friday to the classrooms where I taught and the offices where I was high school principal wearing my business suits, high heels, and always lipstick.

After 30 years of career accomplishments, numerous short-lived gay relationships, and a few flings with straight girls, I finally met the beautiful, green-eyed blonde I would marry on a flawless September afternoon in Annapolis, Maryland.

The intimate crowd included a few who did not outwardly endorse a same-sex marriage. At least they were there, especially our mothers, with expressions that were both loving and slightly wary.

Decades had passed as I waited for my real life to begin and hid my sexuality to please the people I loved the most. And there I was, marrying the woman of my dreams and living honestly.

Against the backdrop of the burgeoning LGBTQ movement, today I have become a courageous trailblazer. Mine is a story of hiding, playing it straight, and finally living my truth. I hope sharing my story will help many who are in similar situations.

In The Boys in the Band, Michael remarks, “Show me a happy homosexual and I’ll show you a gay corpse.” My deepest wish is that there is not one homosexual on the planet who believes that. Do not make the mistakes I made. Openly love who you love. ▼ Janis “Jan” Mills is an educator and author.

She may be contacted at jemills0921@gmail. com. Her book is available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and her publisher, Desert Palm Press. It can also be purchased at Browseabout Books in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

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85 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

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THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Grill Pre-Opening Reception: Johnny Cervantes, Freddie Lutz, Robin Rohr, Holly Lane, Liz Renshaw, Anthony Marshall, Davey Keith. 2) at Freddie’s Beach Bar: Jackie Conley, Paige Kingsbury, Linda Moore, Elsie Edwards, Ken Warne, Michael Carroll, Cara Neeb, Tracey Carford, Meredith Greenfield, Stacy Madonna, Theresa Madonna. 3) at True Blue Jazz at The Pines (RB Jazz Festival Weekend): Cody Levell, Gerald Chavis, Eddie Sherman, Mick McShane, Cliff Keller, Peggy Raley, George Caldwell.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 4) at RB Jazz Festival: Robert Budesa, Rich Budesa, Michal Beckam, Aaron Walker (Aqua); David Meer, Barry Caudill, Eric Roberts, Richard Walton, Mike Perich (Eden); Wes Crawford, Bud Abbott, Van Williamsen; 5) at Purple Parrot: Chris Chandler, Jamie Romano, Latasha Louett, Mike Lewis, Blake Sutton, Taylor Phillips; 6) at Blue Moon: Magnolia Applebottom, Roxy Overbrooke, Rick Hardy, David Lyons, Steve Falcheck. 7) at Rocky Horror Show at Clear Space Theatre: Roger West, Donna West ; 8) SOLA (3) Educational Bird Sign Dedication: RB Mayor Stan Mills, DE State Auditor Kathy McGuiness, Diane Hanson, Sallie Forman, DE Speaker of the House Pete Schwartzkopf, DE Fish + Wildlife Director David Saveikis, DE State Senator Ernie Lopez, DE Lt. Gov. Bethany Hall-Long, RB Commissioner Tim Bennett, RB Commissioner Susan Gay, Tan Konesey, Dan Dayne; 9) at The Coffee Mill: Bob Cartwright, Mel Damascna. ▼

A Gay Old Time—Halloween in Rehoboth Beach

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87 Letters

Holiday Gift Guide

BY MIKEY ROX

The Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving 2021

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tumped on what gifts to give your family, friends, and neighbors this year? Check this list then check it twice—because while you’ve been naughty, they’ve been nice.

far cry from the warped, frat boy-abused tables dying slow deaths in dive bars everywhere. $1,595, SawyerTwain. com

ChefWave Milkmade

What do you get when Tibetan yak wool meets the world’s most advanced 3D-knitting machines? An antimicrobial, soft-as-cashmere, day-to-night sweater that instantly becomes one of the most versatile and comfortable pieces in your closet that rarely needs washing. $220, Oliver-Charles.com.

Round up your favorite rice, soybeans, nuts, and oats for homemade vegan milk alternatives that cost pennies on the dollar compared to pre-packaged versions of the same at your local supermarket. Just add water and a handful of your desired ingredient to churn out 20 ounces of liquid health in about 15 minutes. $200 MyChefWave.com.

Mind-Pop Casserole Pans

Cambridge Audio Evo 75

Oliver Charles Sweater

Perfect for campground cooking or gourmet meals made at home, Darling Spring’s ultra-pretty Mind-Pop enamel casserole pans by Kapka add joie de vivre to the meal-making experience and move seamlessly from stovetop to serving table without dirtying another dish. $45, DarlingSpring.com.

Oclean Water Flosser

You may not regard London, England, as synonymous with audio innovation, but you’ll change that tune after listening to your favorite artists streaming through Cambridge Audio’s Evo 75, the sleek, cutting-edge, allin-one system pumping out crystal-clear sound quality fit for a queen—like you. $2,250 CambridgeAudio.com.

Traditional floss isn’t exactly a budget buster, but the Oclean W10 Water Flosser is a sleek, no-waste, and, yes, cheaperin-the-long-run alternative with five distinctive modes and four high-performance nozzles to keeps the crevices between those pearly whites crud- and cavity-free. $60, Oclean.com.

Wild Roots Spirits

Playcraft Shuffleboard Table

Takumi by Yokai Express

Playcraft edges out its at-home gaming competition with the Georgetown Espresso Shuffleboard featuring solid wood construction, richly stained accent features, and furniture-grade finishes that are a Letters 88 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

Wild Roots Spirits’ five-times filtered, five-times distilled cornbased vodkas—in seasonal flavors like pear, cranberry, and apple-cinnamon—will spice up your soft and hard holiday seltzers and sodas for a little added zip on your lips. $30, WildRootsSpirits.com.

Not only can the Takumi machine cook ramen, dim sum, rice, dumplings, pasta, and more, but it also has the dubious distinction of being the choice ramen-making machine of Tesla’s offices—because of course it is: Elon Musk wouldn’t

be caught dead microwaving Oodles of Noodles like the rest of us schlubs. $400, YokaiExpress.com.

Knitting Knowledge Starter Kits

If the summer Olympics taught us anything, it’s that Tom Daley is a multitalented athlete poised to take knitting gold someday. You can train for your spot on the team with Knitting Knowledge starter kits, including beginner socks, baby blankets, and beanies that include everything you’ll need—from yarn to needles to patterns—to complete the project with a perfect score. $18-$80, KnittingKnowledge. com.

Stark Custom Kitchen Knives

Upgrade your store-bought block knives to a set of Stark Creations chef’s, paring, and nakiri custom knives, forged from scratch to complement your personality or overall kitchen aesthetic. $265-$515, StarkCreationsUS.com.

Erica’s Tea Room Scones

Gild the proverbial lilies of your holiday breakfast spread with a selection of Erika’s Tea Room “Florida Famous” scones in comfort-food flavors like orange-cranberry, white chocolate-apricot, rum raisin, caramel-walnut, and piña colada, among other classic mashups. $36$42/dozen, ErikasTeaRoom.com.

RadRover 6 Plus From a custom geared-hub motor that climbs hills 25 percent faster with more torque and

extended range to all-new hydraulic brakes that provide superior stopping power, the best-in-class RadRover 6 Plus is basically the Range Rover of e-bikes—with far less depreciation per dollar. $2,000, RadPowerBikes.com.

Wildwood Candle Co.

Sick of pumpkin spice? Fill your rooms with more nuanced fall scents—like maple, sandalwood, cypress, and birch— available in a bundled seasonal foursome from eco-friendly Wildwood Candle Co. and inspired by the enchanting, well-traveled trails of Portland, Oregon’s Forest Park. $88, WildwoodCandleCo.com. ▼ Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

<If the summer Olympics taught us anything, it’s that Tom Daley is a multitalented athlete poised to take knitting gold someday.>

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

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Celebrity Interview

BY MICHAEL COOK

Reality Star and Advocate TS Madison

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hether she’s dispensing advice from the RuPaul’s Drag Race panel last season or giving us a perspective on her life that we have never seen before on The TS Madison Experience, there is nothing TS Madison does that she does not do with her signature brand of pointed honesty and tough love.

Michael Cook: Filming your life for The TS Madison Experience and letting people see where you come from and your history must be pretty surreal, especially for someone who has always been so open. What has it been like for you?

TS Madison: You know, it’s really crazy. You think you’ve told it all. Then you get in there and are telling everyone this story, to some people that know some of it and some that don’t know it at all.

Now, I am reliving a lot of that stuff and having conversations about it. Knowing that it is impacting other people’s lives, it is an amazing thing.

MC: You have always been open about yourself and your own journey, but on the show you were open about your family. What was it like to sit with your father on a park bench and have conversations that you knew the entire world would see?

TM: It was kind of scary because, I have to be honest, you don’t know if these people are going to want to bash your dad; he is still your dad. He does represent a set of people who have these thoughts and beliefs about trans people. It was important for me that the world see themselves. He is a direct representative of lots of people out there. I do have to say, I looked good on that park bench (laughs), and I handled myself. I have watched myself become a lady; that was me handling myself like a lady, and I still had some bit of compassion for him.

MC: You got to really spend some time at the judges panel on RuPaul’s Drag Race last season and we really got to see you give some of the girls some Letters 90 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

“If it wasn’t for [my fans], I wouldn’t be anything.” fantastic advice. Was it as much fun for you as it looked like, and as it was for the viewers?

TM: Yes, and you know that I am a super huge fan of Drag Race. I love RuPaul like a fat girl loves chocolate chip cookies—and I am that fat girl (laughs)!

I fit into that niche. I love drag, I love Ru, I love a good read, a good critique, that is just what I do. It felt like home to me, and the fans responded very well.

MC: You have been an author, a speaker, and a TV star; what is left for TS Madison to do that you have not done?

TM: I think I want to try my hand at doing some stand-up comedy. I want to step on the other side of the lens and produce things that are interesting and that have interesting content.

MC: You worked with Tiffany Hadish on your reality show. Any future collabo-

rators would probably need to be a certain type of artist. What are the qualities that you look for when you decide to possibly collaborate with someone?

TM: You have to be ready for anything. I am full of energy, I am live, loud, and in color. You have to be full of life and not take things too seriously; you have to be able to laugh at pain. I don’t mean that you should not acknowledge it, but you have to laugh at it so you know it has not defeated you. You have to be spontaneous and full of energy, and you can’t be lazy.

MC: It has been a truly surreal and reflective 18 months or so; what do you think you have learned from the last couple years that you will take with you?

TM: One of the biggest things that I will take with me is that you have to appreciate your fans. My fans kept me going through the pandemic. I had started traveling and was touring and that money suddenly stopped. My fans navigated with me and no matter where they are, they made sure that I was good. I want my fans to know how much I love and appreciate every one of them; if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be anything.

MC: When do you feel the most authentically yourself?

TM: When I’m at home with no wig on and I got my cell phone open and some earrings and maybe some lashes.

I feel my most authentic self when I am not really glam, because I don’t feel like I’m at work. ▼ Follow TS Madison on Instagram on instagram.com/therealtsmadison/?hl=en Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News. Michael can be found on Instagram: instagram.com/cookie74/?hl=en

Designed For Inclusivity, Designed for You

At The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, we respect, honor and celebrate the individuality of every resident and team member. Here, we believe that a lifestyle community is a place to live, belong, and enjoy 'Life. Your Way.' Named “Best of Delaware” for 2021, The Lodge at Truitt Homestead is proud to be the first SAGECare Certified senior lifestyle community in Delaware, treating each resident with dignity and respect while catering to the unique needs of seniors in the LGBT+ community.

BEST SENIOR RESIDENCE READERS PICK DOWNSTATE

302.727.0936 | TRUITTLODGE.COM | 36233 FARM LN, REHOBOTH BEACH, DE 19971

Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company Auxiliary 2021 Holiday Fundraiser Wonderful Arts and Crafts by local artists, Silent Auction, and great food.

Proceeds support the Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company A perfect way to shop for the holidays and support the Fire Company, too!

Saturday, December 4, 2021 9AM—3PM Station 1, 219 Rehoboth Ave

Rehoboth Beach

NOVEMBER 19, 2021

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windsor's 28-02_windsor's 14-15.qxd 3/30/2018 2:26 PM Page 1

Fourth-Page-V

CROSSWORD PUZZLE SOLUTION (puzzle on page 64)

“WHERE FLOWERS SPEAK A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE” FLORIST SHOP • GREENHOUSES 20326 Coastal Highway • Rehoboth Beach, DE (Next to Arena’s Café)

302-227-9481

rehoboth guest 28-02_Layout 1 3/30/2018 2:13 PM Page 1

Letters 92 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

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93 Letters

AD INDEX 1776 Steakhouse....................................................... 43 Accent On Travel........................................................ 25 AG Renovations.......................................................... 43 Allen Jarmon, Realtor................................................. 63 Aqua Bar & Grill.......................................................... 41 Beebe Healthcare...................................................... 32 Beebe Healthcare Career Opportunities................... 79 Brandywine Urology Consultants..................................7 bsd.............................................................................. 27 Café Azafran............................................................... 85 CAMP Rehoboth Letters Subscription........................ 93 CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST Save the Date......... 13 Caroline Huff, Artist.................................................... 15 Chesapeake & Maine................................................. 59 Children’s Beach House ............................................ 57 Chris Beagle, Realtor................................................. 36 Clear Space Theatre................................................... 55 Coho’s Market & Grill.................................................. 27 Country Lawn Care..................................................... 94 County Bank............................................................... 23 Delaware Community Foundation............................. 89 Delaware Hospice...................................................... 64 Delaware Humane Association.................................. 81 Donna Whiteside, Realtor.............................................9 Fifth Avenue Jewelers................................................ 59 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant............................. 37 Gay Women’s Meet Up............................................... 43 Go Fish Go Brit........................................................... 31

Letters 94 NOVEMBER 19, 2021

God’s Greyts Senior Greyhounds............................... 51 Goolee’s Grille............................................................ 37 Harbour Waterfront Dining......................................... 54 Hugh Fuller, Realtor.................................................... 46 Immanuel Shelter....................................................... 51 Indigo Indian Cuisine................................................. 23 Jack Lingo, Real Estate.............................................. 61 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley..................................... 11 Jolly Trolley................................................................ 81 Just In Thyme Restaurant........................................... 15 Lana Warfield, Realtor................................................ 33 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, Realtors............................ 39 Lori’s Café.................................................................. 51 Loves Liquors............................................................. 43 Maplewood Dental Associates................................... 81 McWilliams Ballard Real Estate.................................. 29 Membership Matters.................................................. 11 MERR Institute............................................................ 81 Midway Fitness & Racquetball................................... 95 Milton Theatre............................................................ 65 Olivia Travel................................................................ 19 Purple Parrot.............................................................. 47 PWW Law.................................................................... 45 Randall-Douglas......................................................... 45 Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Realtors.................. 45 Rehoboth Art League................................................. 31 Rehoboth Beach Dental............................................. 85 Rehoboth Beach Museum.......................................... 33

Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Department............. 91 Rehoboth Guest House.............................................. 92 Rehoboth Massage & Alignment................................ 85 Rigby’s Bar & Grill....................................................... 71 Saved Souls Animal Rescue....................................... 59 Sea Bova Associates, Realtors................................... 96 Shorebreak Lodge...................................................... 63 Southern Delaware Chorale....................................... 75 Springpoint Choice..................................................... 42 State Farm - George Bunting..................................... 33 State Farm - Jeanine O’Donnell/Eric Blondin............. 23 Sussex Family YMCA.................................................. 36 The Lawson Firm........................................................ 63 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead.................................. 91 The Pines.................................................................... 53 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting...................... 50 Toy Drive..................................................................... 82 Troy Roberts, Realtor.................................................. 15 Unfinished Business................................................... 91 Village Volunteers...................................................... 74 Volunteer Opportunities............................................. 93 Volunteer Thank You.................................................. 93 Where 2 Next Travel................................................... 35 Windsor’s Flowers...................................................... 92 World AIDS Day.......................................................... 17

FREE MEMBERSHIP if you have United Health Care (AARP) insurance Access to all gym areas indoor and outdoor

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MARINERS COVE - Millsboro.

2019 28’ x 56’ 3BR/2BA doublewide on the canal w/your own private dock.

Community pool. 15 miles to the boardwalk. $175,000

CAMELOT MEADOWS Rehoboth. Remodeled 1973 3BR/2BA w/4-season FL room.

3 new mini-split HVACs. 3.5 miles to beach. Community pool. $89,900 (2007788) Lot

SILVER VIEW FARM Rehoboth. 1980 2BR/1.5BA. Living room w/tip-out. Eat-in kitchen. Big screened porch.

Fenced yard. Shed. Pool & 3 miles to beach. $72,500

REHOBOTH BAY - Rehoboth.

3BR/2BA 1989 doublewide.

Formal LV & family room w/FP. 4-Season porch. 6 miles to beach. Marina & community pool. $115,000

(NEW) Lot Rent $590/mt.

Rent $766/mt.

(20065361) Lot Rent $1,102/mt.

WHITE TAIL LANE - Millsboro. You’ll find this 2002 3BR/2.5BA Cape Cod-style home down a long, private gravel lane. The 2-story home is approx. 2,100 sq. ft. on 4.1 acres. Attached 2-car garage & an enormous 30’x40’ 2-story pole barn w/lean-to for your boat

*A/C

or other “toys.” Formal LV w/gas FP. Big kitchen w/dining area. Family room is next to the kitchen, so it could be a formal dining room. Main bedroom & bath are on the 1st floor. Two big BRs upstairs. So much attic storage space. No HOA. $575,000 (183706)

(2009250) Lot Rent $636/mt.

HOLLY OAKS - Lewes.

New Construction w/Spring Delivery. 3BR/2BA 1,560sf home. Bamboo floors. Granite & SS appliances in kit. 12’x16’ deck. 0.49 acres. $385,000 (similar home shown)

PINTAIL POINTE - Milton. New Construction – Move-In Ready!!!

4BR/2BA home is a 2,029 sq. ft. one-level rancher with an oversized 2-car garage. Open concept floor plan. Great room has vaulted ceilings & opens to the kitchen and dining area. There is also a sliding

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glass door to the 16’x20’ deck, which overlooks a small stream. Main bedroom suite also has vaulted ceilings, walk-in closet w/ skylight, tiled shower & double vessel sinks. 5” oak floors. Stainless steel kitchen appliances. 12 miles to the boardwalk. $499,900 (200664)

SHIPBUILDERS VILLAGE Milton. Located 1 mile from the historic downtown area.

57’x93’ lot is ready your new construction home. Cape schools. 15 miles to RB boardwalk. $77,500 (184316)

BAYFRONT AT REHOBOTH - Lewes. This Kingfisher model by Schell Bros. is a 2016 3BR/2.5BA home, with a 3-car, side-load garage, has approx. 2,896 sq. ft. of living space & an oversized, walk-in attic above the garages. Harwood in the main living area. Great room

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& entryway foyer feature 2-story cathedral ceilings.

Beautiful kitchen w/granite adjoins the dining area.

1st-floor main suite. Loft & other bedrooms upstairs.

“Flex room” could be a den, office or formal dining room. 0.56 ac w/fenced yard. $710,000 (2000315)

ANGOLA CREST II Lewes. 1985 3BR/1.5BA is nicely updated. Screened porch. Furn. Shed. 11 miles to beach or Massey’s Landing public boat ramp. $75,000 (2008834) Lot Rent $495/mt.

20250 Coastal Highway - Suite 3, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971  302-227-1222 office www.SEABOVA.com 

EMAIL

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Office Independently Owned & Operated by SBA, Inc. Prices, promotions & availability subject to change without notice. * “A/C” Active/Under Contract -- Accepting Back-Up Offers