Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 33, No. 9

Are You Curious?

Days to Remember Lives of Service

C R E A T I N G

A

M O R E

P O S I T I V E

R E H O B O T H

October 20, 2023 Volume 33, Number 9 camprehoboth.com

inside 4 In Brief

6 From the Executive Director 8 President’s View

BETH SHOCKLEY

12 Where There’s Smoke TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

14 Aging Gracelessly Reflections from Kodak FAY JACOBS

16 Community News 18 The Real Dirt

All Hallows’ Eve in the Garden ERIC WAHL

20 It’s My Life Sticker Shock

MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

78 CAMP Arts

LESLIE SINCLAIR & MATTY BROWN

NANCY SAKADUSKI

24 OUTlook

10 CAMP News

VOLUME 33, NUMBER 9 • OCTOBER 20, 2023

22 Beyond the Pink Ribbons

KIM LEISEY, PHD

WES COMBS

THIS ISSUE

80 Booked Solid TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Getting the Shot

90 Pay Attention!

ROBB MAPOU, PHD, ABPP

26 Health & Wellness Unsung Heroes

SHARON MORGAN

30 Talking with Our Veterans MARY JO TARALLO

94 Curiosity Cabinets

36 Out & About

Defending Your TERF

AIDS Walk Delaware in Grove Park, see more CAMPshots page 68.

40 Give Blood Give Life

44 Dining Out

60 Sea Salt Table

MARY JO TARALLO

ED CASTELLI

48 Transgender Day of Remembrance

64 Be A Sport

54 Are You an Active Ager?

66 Deep Inside Hollywood

56 Celebrity Interview

68 CAMPshots

ERIC PETERSON

MATTY BROWN

42 View Point

A Compelling Memoir: Archive Activism RICHARD ROSENDALL

Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats

STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

See page 18.

PATTIE CINELLI

Jackie Goldschneider and The Weight of Beautiful MICHAEL COOK

58 Words Matter Harold’s Story

NANCY SAKADUSKI

98 We Remember

Tuna Taco Dip

Women’s Golf League MARY JO TARALLO

ON THE COVER

Halloween Fantasy AI Generated Artwork by Murray Archibald

ROMEO SAN VICENTE

The Simple BEAR Necessities of Life!

72 Historical Headliners

What’s in a Name? Renée Vivien ANN APTAKER

CLARENCE FLUKER

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.com.

Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi).

Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date.

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EDITOR Marj Shannon EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE Matty Brown DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Pattie Cinelli, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, Fay Jacobs, Kim Leisey, Robb Mapou, Tricia Massella, Sharon Morgan, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Stephen Raskauskas, Richard Rosendall, Nancy Sakaduski, Romeo San Vicente, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Marj Shannon, Beth Shockley, Leslie Sinclair, Mary Jo Tarallo, Eric Wahl

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended in any way, to imply sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. © 2023 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the editor.

CAMP REHOBOTH

MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE MISSION

CAMP Rehoboth, which stands for (Creating A More Positive) Rehoboth, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit LGBTQ+ community service organization. It is the largest and only organization of its type serving the needs of LGBTQ+ people in Rehoboth, greater Sussex County, and throughout the state of Delaware.

CAMP Rehoboth is dedicated to creating a positive environment inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Rehoboth Beach and its related communities. It seeks to promote cooperation and understanding among all people as they work to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION

We create proud and safe communities where gender identity and sexual orientation are respected.

PURPOSE

Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people.

Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies.

Networking resources and information by publishing a newsletter, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

PRESIDENT Wesley Combs VICE PRESIDENT Leslie Ledogar SECRETARY Mike DeFlavia TREASURER Polly Donaldson AT-LARGE DIRECTORS Amanda Mahony Albanese, Pat Catanzariti, Lewis Dawley, David Garrett, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey (non-voting), Teri Seaton, and Jason D. White EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Kim Leisey

From the Editor

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

And, just like that—it’s October! ‘Tis the season of all-things-pumpkin, changing (and falling) leaves, a Sea Witch® parade (walk with CAMP Rehoboth!), and—if you follow Eric Wahl’s suggestions on page 18—a garden of ghostly delights. Corpse Flower, anyone? Maybe a Devil’s Claw?

It’s the perfect season for curiosity cabinets—maybe you’d like to assemble one?

Nancy Sakaduski has—and also writes about a few very special others. Like the one featuring tableaux assembled from human remains…. Read more about that on page 94—if you dare!

Of course, October isn’t just Halloween-themed fun; it’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month. See “Beyond the Pink Ribbons” to meet a local surgeon who is working to make a difference in patients’ lives. It’s also the month of National Coming Out Day; Fay Jacobs tells us about her recent photographic encounter with her pre- and post-out selves in her column (page 14). It’s a poignant—and entertaining—read.

October is also the run-up to some notable November dates, one of them being Veterans Day. As our November issue isn’t out till November 17, we asked a few of our local veterans to share their inspiring stories with Mary Jo Tarallo in this issue (page 30). We here at Letters can only say, “Thank you for your service.”

Another notable November date: Transgender Day of Remembrance. Stephen Raskauskas reflects on the importance of the day (page 48), and reminds us all to be advocates and allies. Let’s plan to be as thoughtful in the ways we honor the day as he is in his reflections.

There’s lots more in this issue, too: the CAMP Rehoboth Women’s Golf League wrapped up play the end of September; see some highlights, starting on page 64. It sounds like a fine—and fun!—time was had by all. But no worries—more fun times await. There’s a new exhibit at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery (page 78), and the CAMP Rehoboth Theatre’s production of The Weir opens the first weekend of November.

Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats proved to be a delectable destination for this month’s diners; see what they had to say on page 44. Maybe you want to eat in?

Ed Castelli has an unlikely—but he assures us, very tasty—dip; I mean, tuna and taco sauce?

Then there’s Michael Cook’s interview with Great Housewife Jackie Goldschneider (page 56), an intro to the free-spirited Renée Vivienne (page 72), and a fabulous CAMP (feline) Critter.

Happy October!

Comments or questions—you can reach me at editor@camprehoboth.com.▼

CAMP REHOBOTH 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.com www.camprehoboth.com

CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. is tax-exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to CAMP Rehoboth are considered charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law.

A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

3 Letters

HIghlighting CAMPsafe’s Work

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n Thursday, September 28, representatives from the Delaware Department of Health and Social Services (DHSS) and a representative from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) visited CAMP Rehoboth Community Center to highlight CAMP Rehoboth’s HIV prevention work in Sussex County, aka the CAMPsafe program. The CAMPsafe staff and volunteers also showcased satellite testing locations at Higher Ground Outreach and Springboard Pallet Village, both in Georgetown.

CAMPsafe staff also highlighted the CAMP Rehoboth Health Suite, located at the rear of the CAMP Rehoboth Courtyard at 39 Baltimore Avenue, behind Lori’s Café. The Health Suite renovation was completed earlier in 2023 and allows for more confidential HIV testing and counseling. ▼ Photo: First row - Ashley Marker, Rachel Miller, Charlene Rodriguez, Division of Public Health, HIV Prevention Team. Second row - James Dowling, Ray Collins, Division of Public Health, HIV Prevention Team; Darryl H. Richards, Project Officer, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; Tara Sheldon, Kim Leisey.

Honoring Veterans Day

WEDDINGS

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hile CAMP Rehoboth Community Center will be closed for business on Friday, November 10, to honor Veterans Day, the center will honor the Federal holiday with a “Veterans of CAMP Rehoboth Bagel Social.” CAMP Rehoboth invites local veterans, family members, and friends to gather together, exchange stories, and share in each other’s community between 9:00 and 10:00 a.m. Register in advance at camprehoboth.com. ▼

⊳

TRAVELS WITH LETTERS

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JIM VERNICEK AND JEFF DAILEY

Celebrated their marriage on August 31, 2023, at sunset, aboard the Lisa Zee at Race Point in Provincetown, Massachusetts.

SHAWN WRIGHT AND RICK TEDRICK

Celebrated their wedding September 23, at Clear Space Theater, with a reception at the Top of the Pines.

DonorPerfect Transition

T ACCENT ON TRAVEL’S MADAGASCAR TRIP Mark Eubanks and Doug Sellers

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his past month, CAMP Rehoboth began its final data transfer into DonorPerfect, a new platform that will assist in coordinating development and donor engagement efforts. This project, stretching over the past year, allows engagement with the entire CAMP Rehoboth community, including volunteers, fundraising events, direct mail, monthly giving, and more.

During October, CAMP Rehoboth will

continue to clean the data, check member records, and prepare the system to take in donations. As with any platform transition, there likely will be some issues! Everyone’s patience during the transition is most appreciated.

Many, many thanks to all those who have given countless hours to this project, including Sondra Arkin, Derrick Johnson, and Laurie Thompson. ▼

SPEAKOut Easy As Pie Fundraiser

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elaware HIV Consortium’s annual “Easy as Pie” fundraiser is back, and CAMP Rehoboth is proud to be a site for pie pick-ups just before the Thanksgiving holiday.

The fundraiser directly benefits programs statewide for the Delaware HIV Consortium and the Ministry of Caring.

On Tuesday, November 21, pies will be available for pick-up at CAMP Rehoboth’s office. Donations both yield a delicious Thanksgiving pie or cake for the donor and help to provide vital services to Delawareans infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The fundraiser is organized and available online at delawarehiv.org. ▼

Orgullo Delaware’s Cocina 943

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rgullo Delaware presents Cocina 943, a program in Delaware that offers meals for individuals healing from gender affirming surgery.

Cocina 943 is the first and only initiative in Delaware that partners with restaurants (and private donors) to provide meals to trans individuals healing from gender affirming care.

Orgullo Delaware reports that it currently has six restaurants who are in this partnership and meal deliveries are already underway.

The program sprang from a direct need within the trans community. “The trans community is suffering from food insecurity,” said Julissa Coriano, who makes up one-half of Orgullo Delaware. “It’s amazing to see community members and partners step up for such a marginalized community,” she said.

One of those community partners is the Food Bank of Delaware, which is working with Orgullo Delaware to tailor donations based on dietary needs prescribed by gender affirming care.

People can give back by partnering with Cocina 943 through adding their restaurant to the network, or by donating DoorDash gift cards. People can contact Orgullo Delaware at OrgulloDelaware@gmail.com or via Facebook at Facebook. com/OrgulloDelaware/.

Founded by two clinical sexuality therapists native to Puerto Rico, Orgullo Delaware is the only organization providing clinical therapy, resources, social spaces, and advocacy for LGBTQIA-identified Latinx and their families. ▼

Dear Editor: Sending a HUGE thank you to CAMP Rehoboth for holding a donation drive for I Support the Girls-Delaware last month!!

We received two of our bins full of bras, pads, tampons, and other essential menstrual items to distribute within our community! If you would like to know more about who we are, what we do and who we help, please visit our Facebook page at facebook.com/ISTGDelaware or email us at istg. delaware@gmail.com.

– Linda Willimer Dear Editor: We were thrilled to be invited to CAMP Rehoboth to give a LGBTQAI Getting the Love You Want workshop Sept 29-Oct 1. We are in a continual glow from being at CAMP last weekend. Thank you so much for co-creating such a sweet space in the Elkins-Archibald Atrium! All of the couples were actively and lovingly involved in learning new methods to deepen their connection and intimacy with one another. They have our deep appreciation and gratitude for showing up in magnificent ways.

Tara, our deep gratitude to you for inviting us, and for your thoughtful managing of every detail. CAMP is so fortunate to have your leadership and creativity. Karen, you are a tireless “girl friday”! We thank you so much for your support all weekend long.

The Rehoboth community is vibrant and our Thursday evening introduction to Imago was delightful and invigorating. We look forward to coming again to work with more couples who are seeking greater connection and intimacy.

We would love to have CAMP Rehoboth spread the word about Imago in general and our workshop in particular. All couples can benefit from exploring the barriers to love as well as learning new skills to achieve this connective love. Getting the Love You Want workshops are held all over the world. Now we can add Rehoboth Beach, Delaware to that list!

We also give this workshop at our home in New Jersey and have a weekend workshop coming up late in October in Pennington, NJ, a mere 2 ½ hours away. Feel free to visit our website, mayakollman.com. Additional dates for 2024 are listed on the website, and we hope for another weekend at CAMP Rehoboth too.

Let’s bring a new way to love to Rehoboth!

With much gratitude ~ – Maya Kollman and Barbara Bingham Send letters to the editor (up to 300 words) to editor@camprehoboth.com OCTOBER 20, 2023

5 Letters

From the Executive Director

BY KIM LEISEY, PHD

This Is a Wonderful Day

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remember when Lambda Rising was in the back of the courtyard of the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center on Baltimore Avenue. I also remember Cloud Nine, Out Gear, The Frog Pond, and The Renegade. Things have changed, and they will continue to do so. Many songs, philosophers, and poets remind us that “everything is temporary.” Some things are just more temporary than others. That’s a hard pill to swallow at times, especially when we have fond memories and connections.

While growing up my family and I moved from state to state more than was typical. I moved from Delaware to Massachusetts to New York to New Jersey. All these moves happened before the age of 13. Each time I was anxious about moving and making new friends. Now as an adult I am thankful for the experiences and skills each of the moves provided to me.

CAMP Rehoboth is not immune to change. We have some changes in the works. In the coming months you will see some physical changes to 37 and 39 Baltimore Avenue. These physical changes are needed additions built upon a wonderfully rich and loving foundation. Some of what you will see are new doors, gutters, lighting and sound in the atrium, solar panels, a wheelchair lift, and an accessibility door opener. January may bring new paint and flooring. We will keep you updated! We are deeply appreciative of Lisa Evans and Carol Brice who are shepherding this facilities renewal.

A behind-the-scenes change includes our new development platform, DonorPerfect (dp). DonorPerfect will roll out in the next month. As with any new platform implementation we can expect that we will have some hiccups we need to address. Your patience is greatly appreciated. Sondra Arkin is our shepherd for this process. Those of you who have implemented new platforms into a business know that it is a complex task.

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We continue to forge new (and leverage existing) relationships with other agencies to support our community and the community at large.

The Blood Bank of Delmarva, Delaware Hospice, the Delaware Ovarian Cancer Foundation, Cape Henlopen School

Help us as we all work together to be “the change we’d like to see.”

District, AARP, I Support the Girls, the Community Resource Center, AIDS Delaware, Beebe Healthcare, Delaware HIV Consortium, the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition, YMCA, Planned Parenthood of Delaware, Village Volunteers, and many more service agencies are partnering with us. I am just scratching the surface of ways in which we can partner to provide services, education, and opportunities for our community. We are coalition building; together we are stronger.

Our advocacy committee has influenced legislation both at the state and federal levels. Delaware became the 17th state to pass a ban on the “LGBTQ+ panic” defense in a court of law, a move that sets out to protect LGBTQ+ residents from becoming victims of violence. Leslie Ledogar, Vice President of the Board of Directors, testified when the bill was in committee.

CAMP Rehoboth provided comments in support of proposed regulations expanding services for LGBTQI+ seniors under the Older Americans Act. Additionally, over the coming months we will share a strategic plan for the next few years. The CAMP Rehoboth Board of Directors will provide a highlevel vision of where CAMP Rehoboth

will head and our staff will map out and implement a plan—with your help.

We have opportunities for giving before the end of 2023. Plan now for how you would like to send us soaring into 2024. Giving Tuesday and end-ofyear giving are important as we head into the winter months.

Our staff and volunteers are developing more social opportunities to connect and build community.

We will honor World AIDS Day at All Saints Church, go to New York City in December, gather for happy hours, play at recreational events, and stretch ourselves not only at yoga but with some educational workshops. The Arts at CAMP Rehoboth continue to provide joy and enlightenment. If there is something you’d like to sponsor, organize, or help with, please give me a call at 302-227-5620. Help us as we all work together to be “the change we’d like to see.”

I am thankful each day for the wonderful staff and volunteers that help make CAMP Rehoboth a welcoming and vibrant community.

Each day I remind myself of Maya Angelou’s quote, “This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.”

Each person, each relationship, each encounter is an opportunity to live our mission to promote cooperation and understanding among all people as well as work to build a safer community with room for all. ▼ Kim Leisey, PhD, is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

WAYS TO GIVE TO CAMP REHOBOTH ONLINE GIVING

CASH/CHECK

The fastest, most convenient way to make a gift to CAMP Rehoboth is to donate online at www.camprehoboth.com/donate.

To donate by check, please make your check payable to: CAMP Rehoboth 37 Baltimore Ave Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971

GIFTS OF STOCK OR SECURITIES It is easy to make your gift of stock or other longterm appreciated securities such as bonds or mutual funds to CAMP Rehoboth. To transfer stock, either you or your broker should simply fill out a transfer authorization form, and that's all there is to it.

OR REAL ESTATE Donating property that has appreciated in value allows you to maximize your gift while receiving a tax deduction for the full market value and avoid capital gains taxes.

ESTATE AND LIFE INCOME GIFTS A charitable gift from your estate is a favored method of giving that enables you to achieve your financial goals and benefit CAMP Rehoboth.

MATCHING GIFT Matching gifts are a great way to enhance your gift to CAMP Rehoboth. Please check with your company’s human resources department to determine if your company offers matching gifts.

DONOR-ADVISED FUNDS A donor-advised fund offers donor favorable tax benefits and maximum flexibility to support CAMP Rehoboth.

TRANSFER FROM AN IRA If you are 70 ½ years of age or older, a transfer from an IRA may be a beneficial way to support CAMP Rehoboth.

PLANNED GIFTS There are a number of ways you can use planned giving to build charitable giving into your life plans, even after death. Some can even help you lower your taxable income now! Consider planning ahead now and explore some of these ways for giving after life: Bequest Planned Gift Life Insurance Qualified Retirement Plan

Contact our Development Manager, Laurie Thompson, at laurie@camprehoboth.com to learn more about these ways to give.

Give Today at camprehoboth.org OCTOBER 20, 2023

7 Letters

President’s View

BY WESLEY COMBS

What Does Making Impact Mean to You?

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aking Delaware our primary residence has enabled me to spend quality time with people across the region who volunteer with CAMP Rehoboth. Whether I was serving as one of a dozen CAMP Rehoboth volunteers working alongside staff at Sussex County Habitat for Humanity building homes, staffing the welcome table at Women’s FEST, or serving on the Board of Directors, there were a few things everyone had in common.

Each of us wanted to give back in a way that had a true impact for an organization whose mission we believed was making a difference in our community— CAMP Rehoboth. Giving back in whatever way we could contribute not only fulfilled each of us, but also provided the opportunity to meet others who shared a passion for strengthening our community.

There is no one way to make an impact; it is up to each individual to decide what it means to them. The staff at CAMP Rehoboth understand this and can help those who want to get involved to find a way that works best for them and also helps to fill one of CAMP Rehoboth’s needs. This is especially true for those serving on the Board of Directors.

I am often asked how one becomes a Board member at CAMP Rehoboth.

Before I explain how the process works, it is important to level set everyone on what the role of a nonprofit board member is. According to the National Council of Nonprofits, “…board members are the fiduciaries who steer the organization towards a sustainable future by adopting sound, ethical, and legal governance and financial management policies, as well as by making sure the nonprofit has adequate resources to advance its mission.”

We follow an intentional best practice process to identify candidates who are equipped with the knowledge/skills necessary to carry out the oversight responsibility of a LGBTQ+ community center while also being the best asset possible for the Executive Director as they execute the operational plan. All candidates must believe strongly in CAMP Rehoboth’s mission. To Letters 8

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better understand why current members were invited to join, let me share with you the value each of my fellow Board members brings to the CAMP Rehoboth Board of Directors: Amanda Albanese is a licensed mental health counselor working in both the inpatient and outpatient settings. Her knowledge is helping inform how CAMP Rehoboth can best support the health and wellness needs of our community.

There is no one way to make an impact; it is up to each individual to decide what it means to them.

Pat Catanzariti’s most recent job was Global Director at Bristol-Myers Squibb; it afforded her the opportunity to understand people’s skill sets and attributes so that she could link them to responsibilities/duties that best suited them. This has informed her work on the various committees she has chaired over the years.

Lewis Dawley’s 40+ years of experience working in hospitality for Marriott International, serving millions across all demographics, allows him to support and advocate for CAMP Rehoboth’s diverse programs that positively impact the lives of those in our community.

Mike DeFlavia’s 15+ years of experience serving as a fundraising consultant to nonprofits provides the staff with an expert resource in support of CAMP Rehoboth’s donor management process.

Polly Donaldson honed her nonprofit financial oversight, budget development, and program development skills in her role as Director of the DC Department of Housing and Community Development, and Board Chair of the Coalition for Nonprofit Housing and Economic Development.

David Garrett is the cisgender father of an adult transgender daughter. He had a big learning curve on trans issues and has become a vocal advocate. This passion for equality has made his work on the CAMP Rehoboth Board even more relevant and vital.

Jenn Harpel’s expertise as a financial planner with Morgan Stanley, combined with her extensive leadership roles on previous boards, brings critical oversight proficiency that strengthens our overall governance.

Leslie Ledogar is an attorney who also has worked in insurance regulatory roles at the state level, where she gained over 20 years of project management and public policy experience. She has been instrumental in working with members of the Delaware General Assembly, championing LGBTQ+ civil rights and securing funds for CAMP Rehoboth.

Jason Mathis wears two hats: one as General Manager with Seaboard Hospitality and the other as a pastor. These roles have made him skilled at relating to people from all walks of life and encouraging people to better themselves—which is what CAMP Rehoboth is all about.

Teri Seaton aided in bringing several low-performing companies up to standards in all aspects of retail operations as a Regional Operations Manager with global investment firm KKR & Co. Inc. Her expertise has helped to streamline the planning and execution of events like Women’s FEST and SUNFESTIVAL. If you are wondering how you can make a difference at CAMP Rehoboth, I find this quote from Edward Everett Hale provides a helpful perspective: “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” ▼ Wesley Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.

HAPPY SEA WITCH-FILM FESTIVAL & HAPPY VET DAY! Congratulations to Vicki Martina & Nancy Hewish on the winning bid of the 2023 SUNFESTIVAL Live Auction for a trip for two people on Olivia's HARD ROCK HOTEL VALLARTA (Oct 26–Nov 2, 2024)

JUST ANNOUNCED! OLIVIA'S CORAL JUBILEE CARIBBEAN CRUISE: 35 YEARS OF OLIVIA TRAVEL March 29–April 5, 2025 Gather your friends and ask for the "Women of Rehoboth Group" discount!

Olivia congratulates Dr. Kim Leisey, CAMP Rehoboth's new Executive Director!

OLIVIA IS A PROUD PREMIER SPONSOR OF CAMP REHOBOTH

OLIVIA.COM · (800) 631-6277 BOOK YOUR DREAM VACATION WITH 24/7 ONLINE BOOKING OCTOBER 20, 2023

9 Letters

CAMPNews Dear Mothman Book Signing

Sea Witch Parade

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AMP Rehoboth is excited to partner with Browseabout Books on October 28, from 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., for a book signing for Dear Mothman by Robin Gow. CAMP Rehoboth's YouthUp Book Club has also selected this novel as its October read for its meeting on Thursday, October 26 at 7:00 p.m. Email youthup@camprehoboth.com to register.

ABOUT THE BOOK: Halfway through sixth grade, Noah’s best friend and the only other trans boy in his school, Lewis, passed away in a car accident. Adventurous and curious, Lewis was always bringing a new paranormal story to share with Noah. Together they daydreamed about cryptids and shared discovering their genders and names. After Lewis’s death, lonely and yearning for someone who could understand him like Lewis once did, Noah starts writing letters to Mothman, wondering if he would understand how Noah feels and also looking for evidence of Mothman’s existence in the vast woods surrounding his small Poconos town.

Noah becomes determined to make his science fair project about Mothman, despite his teachers and parents urging him to make a project about something “real.” Meanwhile,

CROP Ushers for ALLIANCE

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as Noah tries to find Mothman, he also starts to make friends with a group of girls in his grade: Hanna, Molly, and Alice, with whom he’d been friendly, but never really close.

Now, they welcome him, and he starts to open up to each of them, especially Hanna, whom Noah has a crush on.

But as strange things start to happen and Noah becomes sure of Mothman’s existence, his parents and teachers don’t believe him. Noah decides it’s up to him to risk everything, trek into the woods, and find Mothman himself.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Robin Gow (it/fae/he) is a trans and queer poet and witch from rural Pennsylvania. He is the author of several poetry collections, an essay collection, and middle-grade and YA (young adult) novels. Faer novels include Ode to My First Car, A Million Quiet Revolutions, and Dear Mothman. It works at Bradbury-Sullivan LGBT Community Center, building celebratory spaces for the local LGBTQ+ folks. As an autistic person, Robin feels passionate about celebrating neurodivergent folks in the queer community. It lives with their partner and their queer family of many critters. ▼

eptember 29 through October 1, the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) volunteer teams ushered at the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus’s ensemble (aka ALLIANCE) concert, Music of the Night.

CROP teams sported their signature black-and-white with red bowties.

These performances marked ALLIANCE’s premiere concert at Epworth, and it was another huge success for the Chorus—CAMP Rehoboth’s singing ambassadors! ▼ (Pictured above Sunday night ushers) Letters 10

OCTOBER 20, 2023

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AMP Rehoboth invites you, your friends, and family to join us and walk in the Sea Witch Parade on October 28! Dress in costume or wear one of our orange CAMP Rehoboth shirts. Rainbow pride feather boas will also be provided. Help us to spread our community's love and joy to parade attendees. Register online at camprehoboth.org/volunteers. ▼ SAVE THE DATE!

Volunteer Appreciation Party

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lan to attend the Volunteer Appreciation Party from 4:00 to 6:30 p.m. on Friday, November 17.

As with last year’s party, CAMP Rehoboth will again be sharing in the spirit of giving thanks the weekend before Thanksgiving. Any and all volunteers who have contributed to CAMP Rehoboth’s special events, fundraisers, programs, or advocacy initiatives are invited to join us by registering online at camprehoboth.org/volunteers. ▼

CROP at the Food Bank

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n Tuesday, September 12, a team of nine CROP volunteers returned to the Food Bank in Milford to once again assist Delaware families in need. This time they filled 316 boxes that will go to mobile food pantries and to the Healthy Pantry in Milford. Another very rewarding day! The next outing is scheduled for November 14; sign up at camprehoboth.org/volunteers.

The CAMP Rehoboth Theatre Company presents

WRITTEN BY Conor McPherson DIRECTED BY Russell Stiles

Thurs., Nov. 2 Fri., Nov. 3 Sat., Nov. 4 (with ASL interpreter)

at 7:30 pm

Sun., Nov. 5 at 2:00 pm Elkins-Archibald Atrium 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE

$20 / ticket tickets available at camprehoboth.com This organization is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on www.DelawareScene.com

OCTOBER 20, 2023

11 Letters

WHERE THERE’S SMOKE…

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

We Didn’t Start the Fire

I

magine never having seen a smoker before.

It’s a pipe dream these days (no pun intended) but go with me here.

Imagine seeing someone put something in their mouth and then they...breathed fire?!

Columbus supposedly claimed that the natives he met “ate smoke.” Surely, this was some sort of magic.

Archaeologists believe that the first person to have ever smoked tobacco did so many centuries ago in Central America when the Mayan people first brought tobacco leaves into their religious ceremonies. From there, the practice of smoking is thought to have spread north and south as the Mayans migrated and other tribes took up the use of tobacco in spiritual ceremonies and for medicinal purposes. By the time Columbus and other European explorers arrived here, the use of cigars, pipes, and dried tobacco was well-known to the natives.

Because they were big-time copycats, when the Europeans saw what the natives were doing, they too tried smoking. And loved it. Spanish ship crewman Rodrigo de Jerez is generally credited as being the first European tobacco user; the Spanish couldn’t wait to take tobacco home. French diplomat Jean Nicot de Villemain suggested to Catherine de Medice that inhaling dried tobacco might cure her headaches.

Using tobacco was on fire.

But there was one little problem: the

best tobacco came from America.

The Spanish began growing tobacco in the New World, and they started importing it in the early 1500s. British sailors took up pipe smoking in the mid-1500s and Sir Walter Raleigh’s colonists brought tobacco back to Britain with them when they left Roanoke.

Frenchman Nicot even gave his name to a by-product of smoking. By the late 1500s, everyone in Europe saw tobacco as both medicinal and recreational. They were addicted.

Archaeologists believe that the first person to have ever smoked tobacco did so many centuries ago in Central America…

This led to another little problem.

Tobacco is a crop that takes a lot of effort to grow and harvest and by the early 1600s, the demand for the product was larger than the number of indentured servants—individuals whose ticket to the New World was exchanged for a defined period of work before they received manumission—who were available for harvest. When growers started to look for a solution to the lack of workers, they hit upon a heinous

thought: there was no lack of humans in Africa. And so Africans were captured, imported, enslaved, and forced to work on farms and tobacco plantations the moment they were brought to eastern American shores.

We know how that turned out.

Back then, tobacco was a powerhouse for farmers in the US but today, America ranks fourth in tobacco production, behind China, Brazil, and India. Still, we are the world’s secondhighest consumers of tobacco products; China’s first. Tobacco in the US is an $82 billion industry run by extremely large entities that participate in the stock market. It’s serious business.

The CDC says that more than 11 percent of Americans—that’s more than 28 million people—are active smokers, down from just over 42 percent in 1965. Other reports state that over two percent—more than five million (mostly) men—report using smokeless tobacco products. Around five percent of Americans report vaping on a regular basis.

Some 16 million Americans live with a disease caused by tobacco.

Great American Smoke-Out, anyone? ▼ Terri Schlichenmeyer’s second book, The Book of American Facts and Trivia, comes out this winter. Her first (Big Book of Facts) is available now.

CAMP REHOBOTH THANKS OUR 2023 ANNUAL SPONSORS

For information on how to become a CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsor, email development@camprehoboth.com or call 302-227-5620.

Letters 12

OCTOBER 20, 2023

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OCTOBER 20, 2023

13 Letters

Aging Gracelessly

BY FAY JACOBS

Reflections from Kodak

N

ot only am I aging gracelessly, but I just watched myself do it.

I’ve just completed digitizing my photographs from 19651980. I did this by removing them from deteriorating, disintegrating scrapbooks and albums and scanning the fading photos into my computer. Then, I preserved them, improved them, and curated out the people I no longer wished to remember. My ex-husband the accordion player (vintage ’73-’78) now makes only a brief guest appearance.

It’s astonishing how the once bright, colorful 4x6s of Disney World, Chesapeake Bay, or even Paris had turned to a brownish-sepia. Luckily my memories of good experiences, fun theatre productions, and dear friends are still bright in my mind.

But the pictures did tell me a very clear, visible, wistful story. Before I came out to myself and others in early 1980, my life was indeed sepia-toned. Not bright.

Not authentic. Not happy.

Yes, I loved my college and theatre friends. And escaping into theatre saved me, as it has done for many gay youngsters, who are afraid, closeted, or in denial. But truly, in those early photographs, from high school on, I saw my unhappiness and my longing for a more authentic life. I saw it on my face, in my posture, in my clothing. It’s uncanny. I tried so hard to be straight I even straightened my curly hair.

So I stopped scanning the pictures at the day before I stepped from the closet.

Those hundreds of pictures, now digitally preserved, will be printed in a pre-coming-out album I just ordered from an online photo company. This album will take up a tiny fraction of the bookshelf space where those big, fat, fading, falling-apart scrapbooks used to stand. And I’ll have saved my old sepia life.

Next week, I’ll start scanning photos from the day my uncloseted, big, bright, gay life began. It was a steamy Cape Cod afternoon, spent visiting with my college roommate. Quite perceptively, Letters 14

OCTOBER 20, 2023

she drove me to Provincetown, Massachusetts for the day.

Gay couples strolled everywhere. We stopped at the Womencraft bookshop, bulging with lesbian literature, feminist gifts, and crafts. Too afraid to investigate the books, I looked at a display of buttons

I’m still marveling over the distinctly visible change in my smile, my appearance, and my whole persona before and after coming out. proclaiming “The Moral Majority is Neither” and “A Woman without a Man is like a Fish Without a Bicycle;” posters, t-shirts, mugs celebrating feminism, pro-choice, and other familiar topics.

I stared at the short-haired, make-up free women behind the cash register.

Were they, you know? I picked up a mug with a photo of Robert Indiana’s LOVE sculpture on it and took it to the register.

“That will be $4.99 after the 10 percent lesbian discount,” said the clerk. Holy shit.

My face flushed and I bobbled my wallet trying to get to my money to pay for my lesbian- discounted mug. Like an undercover cop in trouble, I’d been made.

And it hit me. I was a lesbian. It all made sense. Yes. Lesbian. Right there on Commercial Street I had an epiphany. I also had a lobster roll. And I kept looking around. The future awaited me.

So next up I’ll scan the happier photos of myself. I’m still marveling over the distinctly visible change in my smile, my appearance, and my whole persona before and after coming out. I was hiding in plain sight.

And this revelation makes me think of Florida and other states where Don’t Say Gay is taking hold and LGBTQ people are being harassed, hated, targeted simply for who they are.

I worry about youngsters having a much harder time coming out in this new era of hate.

I worry about the ugly choices parents might have to make in order to get their trans youngsters health care.

I worry about my transgender friends in states which might outlaw their access to hormone therapy.

I worry about young people, out since their teens, who have never faced much discrimination. How will they handle it?

I worry about my friends in Florida and other states being turned away from health care because they are gay. The Supreme Court just allowed that kind of discrimination. I already know of two friends whose primary care doctors felt a need to assure them it would not happen at that particular medical practice. But it surely will happen at others.

You know what I don’t worry about?

I do not worry that LGBTQ people will stop coming out; that they will stay in sepia-toned lives rather than living in full-spectrum color. We are nothing if not colorful. We are the rainbow. And we’re here, we’re queer, and we vote. ▼ Fay Jacobs is the author of five published books and is touring with her one-woman sit-down comedy show, Aging Gracelessly.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

15 Letters

Community News Queer Projections at the Beacon Inn

O

n Saturday, October 21, from 4:00-5:30 p.m., Peninsula Gallery will host film critic Shelby Cooke at the Beacon Inn, where she will read from her new book, Queer Projections. With a nod to the upcoming Halloween holiday, the reading will feature an article about the queer zombie TV show, In the Flesh. A screening of a 20-minute trans film, Pronouns in the Bio, will follow the reading; the evening will conclude with a book signing.

Queer Projections, a new film criticism anthology, includes essays exploring the representation of queerness on screen, and ranges from the humorous to the serious, and from the personal to the philosophical.

The book utilizes both classic and contemporary queer masterpieces to illustrate how sexuality and gender are portrayed through the visual arts. The book also includes the PROUD collection—a curated selection of 18 inspiring and uplifting LGBTQIA+ films and TV shows that depict the vast spectrum of queer identities and experiences.

Ms. Cooke, who is marketing manager at Peninsula Gallery, is also a founding member of Film East, a film organization based in Norwich, UK, and Delaware. Film East won the “Together” award at the 2023 BBC Make a Difference Awards and has been nominated for six British Film Society of the Year awards.

RSVPs are encouraged for the event; call 302-6450551 or email peninsulagallery1@gmail.com. ▼

Clear Space Welcomes Joe Gfaller And maybe you did, too?

While he will not reside locally till November, Gfaller, Clear Space Theatre Company’s new Managing Director, visited in mid-October. He took in both Clear Space’s opening performance of Young Frankenstein and the CAMP Rehoboth Block Party.

If you missed him during that visit—no worries. Gfaller, along with his husband, Kraig, and their two dogs, Sprout and Emmit, will make Rehoboth their home.

Says Gfaller, “Rehoboth is such a special place to all who call it home, both year-round and seasonally.” Joe is clearly special too; read more about him at clearspacetheatre.org. ▼ Letters 16

OCTOBER 20, 2023

Kiwanis Club of Coastal Delaware Welcomes New Members On September 21, the Kiwanis Club of Coastal Delaware (Kiwanis. org) welcomed Richard Garrett, Executive Director of the Children’s Beach House of Lewes; Joseph Ciarlante-Zuber, owner of Uncles, Inc. t/a Diego’s Bar; Jay Chalmers, retired real estate broker; John Potthast, retired PBS producer; and Dr. David Thomas, physical therapist, as the organization’s newest members. (All pictured above L-R) Founded in Detroit, Michigan, in 1915, the Kiwanis Club is renowned for its charitable works, specifically service to children. A current endeavor of the Coastal Delaware Kiwanis is the Little Library Project at Lewes’s Children’s Beach House.

In addition to meeting monthly in the Lewes/Rehoboth Beach area, members and supporters recently enjoyed a sold-out fundraiser cruise aboard The Escape, along the Delaware Bay and Cape Henlopen.

Upcoming fundraisers include a bus trip to Longwood Gardens (December 7) to visit the Christmas display. All are welcome to take part in this fun-filled event supporting Kiwanis. Tickets are $75.00 and are available via EventBrite.

If you are interested in membership, participating in events, or contributing to the mission of Kiwanis, contact President Russ Koewer at 215-429-4475. ▼

ACLU-DE: An Inclusive School Model

O

n November 2, at 6:00 p.m., ACLU-DE and the Charter School of New Castle (CSNC) will participate in a virtual panel discussion about an inclusive school model implemented at CSNC. The model, which focuses on practices aimed at achieving an inclusive school environment, increasing student engagement, and creating channels for parent collaboration and engagement, is credited with reducing suspension rates, especially among Black and brown students. Since implementing the inclusive school model, CSNC has also seen positive outcomes in students’ sense of belonging, personal academic achievements, and perceptions of teachers and school staff as allies and resources. Register for the panel discussion at bit.ly/csnc-panel. ▼

HOSTED JOURNEY

JOIN

Murray Archibald, the founder of CAMP Rehoboth, on an incredible journey in Australia & New Zealand F E B RUARY 2024

LAST CALL

Our custom designed hosted journey starts in New Zealand when we meet our Abercrombie & Kent guide. Multi-night stays in New Zealand and Australia include Rotorua, Queenstown, Melbourne, Uluru (the Outback), and Sydney to give you both time free and amazing experiences with our professional guide (all included). Our planned itinerary includes the Hobbiton Movie Set, cultural performances, the opportunity to experience a working kiwi nursery and hatchery, Waitomo Glowworm Caves, art galleries, wine tastings, walking tours, a wildlife conservation park, a private behind the scenes tour of the Sydney Opera House and time at the world famous Bondi Beach. Awe-inspiring scenery and wildlife will provide amazing photo opportunities and memories that last forever on this unique tour! Rich in history and culture this hosted journey is sure to sell out quickly.

For more information please contact Sofia Hedman, Group Travel Manager sofia@accentontravel.com | 302-703-0115

37156 Rehoboth Ave Rehoboth Beach, DE accentontravel.com

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FREE PARKING!

OCTOBER 20, 2023

17 Letters

The REAL DIRT

BY ERIC W. WAHL

All Hallows’ Eve in the Garden

A

s Halloween approaches, the world transforms into a realm of the eerie and the spine-chilling.

Did you know that the natural world includes plants with names that perfectly capture the spirit of this spooky season?

This October, let’s delve into the dimension of botanical curiosities, exploring plants with names that are surprisingly reflective of Halloween.

From Devil’s Claw to Witch Hazel, these botanical wonders are sure to add a touch of macabre magic to your garden.

DEVIL’S CLAW (Proboscidea louisianica). The Devil’s Claw plant derives its eerie name from its unique seed pods. These pods bear long, twisted claws that resemble the gnarled fingers of a wicked witch. Native to the American Southwest, this plant’s spiky appearance makes it a striking addition to any Halloween-themed garden. Devil’s Claw has even been used in traditional medicine, adding a touch of mysticism to its already sinister reputation.

BLEEDING HEART (Dicentra spectabilis). With its blood-red, teardropshaped flowers, the Bleeding Heart exudes an air of Gothic romance. Often referred to as “Lady in the Bath,” this perennial herbaceous plant has a name that conjures up images of ghostly apparitions. Its graceful, pendulous blooms make it a hauntingly beautiful addition to gardens, where it seems to weep crimson tears, perfectly in tune with Halloween’s melancholic atmosphere.

CORPSE FLOWER (Amorphophallus titanum). Arguably one of the most famous Halloween-inspired plants, the Corpse Flower lives up to its name in a truly unsettling manner. Native to Sumatra, this colossal plant is known for its enormous, foul-smelling blooms that can reach up to 10 feet in height. When it blooms, it emits a stench akin to rotting flesh, drawing flies and other insects as unwitting pollinators. Its ghastly scent Letters 18

OCTOBER 20, 2023

and imposing presence are guaranteed to give your garden an otherworldly feel.

GHOST ORCHID (Dendrophylax lindenii). Hidden deep within the swamps and forests of Florida and

With its long, sinister “whiskers” that resemble a bat’s wings and its dark, velvety blooms, this plant looks as though it belongs in a witch’s potion.

Cuba, the Ghost Orchid is an elusive and mysterious plant. With its delicate blooms that appear to float in mid-air, it’s no wonder it’s called the “Ghost Orchid.” This name perfectly captures its spectral, ethereal beauty. Spotting one of these orchids in the wild is akin to encountering a ghostly apparition in the dark woods, making it a fitting addition to our Halloween-inspired plant collection.

BLACK BAT FLOWER (Tacca chantrieri). No Halloween-themed

garden would be complete without the Black Bat Flower. With its long, sinister “whiskers” that resemble a bat’s wings and its dark, velvety blooms, this plant looks as though it belongs in a witch’s potion. Native to Southeast Asia, it thrives in warm, humid conditions and adds a touch of dark mystique to any garden. The Black Bat Flower truly embodies the spirit of Halloween with its unique appearance.

DEVIL’S WALKING STICK (Aralia spinosa). Planted during the Victorian era as a grotesque ornamental, this viciously spiny tree has a tropical appearance due to its compound, lacey leaves. It tends to grow in clusters of unbranched trunks with its spines creating a harsh boundary, which is why Native Americans used it to protect their fruiting trees and shrubs from foraging animals.

WITCH HAZEL (Hamamelis virginiana). Let’s end with a native shrub whose name conjures up the best Halloween decorations and costumes out there. Witch Hazel is probably best known for its fragrance in the garden that perfumes every corner. But maybe less known is the outstanding colors the leaves turn in autumn from orangegolds to fire reds, like the flames under a witch’s cauldron.

This Halloween season, consider incorporating these spine-tingling plants into your garden to create an atmosphere that is both haunting and enchanting. From the Devil’s Walking Stick to the Ghost Orchid, nature’s collection of spooky plants will add an extra layer of intrigue to your celebrations. Embrace the dark side of botany and let these plants cast their enchanting spells on your garden.

Happy Halloween! ▼ Eric W. Wahl is Landscape Architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society.

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4 Courses Featuring Fresh-roasted Hand-carved Turkey (plus a few other entrée offerings) CALL 302 227-3100 FOR RESERVATIONS (we will sell out!)

Telephone: 301-227-3100 • www.justinthymerestaurant.com 38163 Robinsons Drive • Rehoboth Beach (the corner of Hwy. 1 & Robinsons Drive)

OCTOBER 20, 2023

19 Letters

It’s My Life

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

Sticker Shock

T

oday a chapter of my life ended.

For the past 20 years there has been a sticker on the rear door of my Ford Explorer—an image of a Great White shark in the red and white colors of the North American scuba diving flag. I put it there shortly after I moved to California and learned to dive.

Diving was a huge part of my life during the decade I lived in California.

I eventually became an instructor, and most weekends were spent either in the classroom pool or taking students on certification dives in Monterey. I also led dive trips for a queer scuba diving club, taking groups to locations including the Galapagos Islands, Alaska, Saba, and Cozumel. The Explorer hauled my gear to and from every class and local dive.

As we shared our dive spots with the local Great White population, the sticker symbolized several things to me: home, the natural world, community.

The day I left San Francisco, I gave both my drysuit and my air tanks to my dive buddy and frequent co-instructor Vince, telling him I’d be back for them at some point. The rest of my gear was in three plastic tubs. That gear has remained in those tubs, unopened, ever since. Those tubs have sat in garages in Texas, Delaware, Maryland, and now Ohio. And I never have gone back for my drysuit or tanks. Vince recently told me that the suit, which he used for students, finally fell apart. The tanks could be anywhere, mingled in with the others Vince uses in his business.

At first, I left the shark sticker on the Explorer because I really did think I would make it back to California someday. Then I left it on because it made it easy to identify my fairly common model Explorer in parking lots.

Every time I saw it, I thought, “You really need to get back in the water soon.”

Over time, the sticker faded. Still, I left it on. But eventually seeing it stopped making me think fondly of time spent under the water and started making me worry that getting there would never Letters 20

OCTOBER 20, 2023

happen again. I suspected that a lot of the gear in the tubs had probably begun to rot or corrode, but I couldn’t bring myself to check. As long as it was in the tubs, I could convince myself that one day I would take it out again.

I’m not the guy who lives in California and teaches diving anymore. I haven’t been that guy for a long time.

Now I live in Ohio, where scuba diving is not exactly an everyday activity.

While I could plan trips specifically to go diving again, those are expensive and difficult to schedule. Plus, I would need to purchase a bunch of new gear. So, despite periodic calls from Vince (who still teaches and leads trips) to join him on an outing, I haven’t done it.

Which brings us to this morning.

While unloading groceries, I once again looked at the Great White sticker on the back door. This time, it made me both a little sad and a little embarrassed. “You haven’t been diving in 12 years,” I told myself. “This is like those guys who still wear their sports jerseys even though they haven’t been on a field since high school.”

I got a razor blade and scraped the shark off. While in some ways it felt like erasing a piece of history, it also felt like making a new start. I’m not the guy who lives in California and teaches diving anymore. I haven’t been that guy for a long time. It was time to let him go.

My favorite place to scuba dive has always been British Columbia and Alaska. We went every year, on a boat owned and operated by a good friend.

One year, one of the other guests was a noted underwater biologist and

photographer whose books I had in my library. He was in his 70s at the time and was there to photograph creatures for a new book.

After one particularly wonderful dive, this man came up excited to have seen and photographed a rarely seen tiny fish called, hilariously, the sarcastic fringehead. After showing us the photos, he began to pack up his equipment. As we were only on the fourth or fifth day of a week-long trip, we asked him why.

“That was my last dive,” he said. “Ever.

It’s getting harder and harder for me to dive in cold water. I came here knowing one of the dives would be my last one.

That one was perfect, so that’s it.”

I remember being horrified by this.

Now, I understand. I can’t recall my last dive before leaving California. Had I known it would be my last one, I would have paid more attention. Instead, it was just another dive.

I’m not giving up entirely on the possibility of getting wet again. And I still can’t bring myself to open those tubs and see what’s happened to the gear inside. But I do feel like I’ve moved on in a small but important way. Removing the sticker that so much represented who I was feels like a way to make room for the person I’ve yet to become.

Now, I need to figure out what sticker he wants. ▼ Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

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OCTOBER 20, 2023

21 Letters

BEYOND THE PINK RIBBONS

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Melons, Coconuts, and Tater Tots

B

oobs, hooters, jugs, tits, melons, ta-tas, coconuts, the twins, the girls, puppies, maracas, funbags, chesticles, bazoombas, cha-chas, knockers, cans, lady lumps, gazongas, rocket launchers, tater tots, party pillows…I could go on. Seriously, I really could go on. Cosmopolitan magazine names 99 different terms for breasts and I don’t believe for a minute it’s a complete list. Why the fascination?

As Julia Roberts famously said in Notting Hill, “They’re just breasts.”

Breasts are the most obvious and iconic symbol of femininity. They’ve been carved in stone by sculptors, celebrated by poets, displayed in all manner of tantalizing ways, employed to good effect in sex play and, lest we forget, fed quite a few babies. A paper in the peer-reviewed journal Plastic Surgery stated, “In many cultures, the female breast is a potent symbol of beauty, motherhood, and vitality….”

So, what happens when a woman who has associated her breasts with beauty, womanhood, and desirability loses her breasts to cancer? Studies have shown that mastectomy can cause psychological reactions such as depression, anxiety, and stress, and affect body esteem and quality of life.

Dr. Matthew Richards is a surgeon at the Beebe Center for Breast Health. In that role he navigates the tricky waters of altering or removing breasts because of breast cancer. While he performs a range of procedures, most of his practice is biopsies, lumpectomies, and mastectomies.

There’s no underestiLetters 22

OCTOBER 20, 2023

mating the emotional and psychological impact such procedures carry. “I let the patient lead the conversation with how they’re feeling, what their wishes are in terms of the surgical outcome,” Richards says. “I try my best to provide them with support services…and peer mentor groups that can help soften or talk through that emotion. Certainly, it’s harder for me, as a man, trying to discuss with women a big component of some of their femininity.”

A cancer survivor himself, Dr. Richards initially wanted to be a pediatric oncologist but found that surgery was a better fit. “I like to build things, fix things. I like the artistry of surgery.” He liked the science of cancer but wanted patient interaction, so when he rotated through breast surgery during his training, it clicked.

“This is really a perfect combination of the things I wanted to do when I started medical school and the things that I liked doing as a surgeon.”

Healthcare and the LGBTQ+ Community According to some breast cancer research, lesbian women have a higher incidence of breast cancer and worse outcomes.

Risk factors include a higher average BMI, more alcohol use, more smoking, and less screening.

“There’s a unique set of risk factors of the LGBTQ population as a whole that can elevate risks for developing any type of cancer,” says Richards. “There seems to be this underlying increased risk but then there’s also underutilization or an under-focus on health maintenance and health care in this population because of a mistrust, historically, in the medical profession.”

The higher risk and underutilization of health services motivates Dr. Richards to focus on LGBTQ health, health maintenance, and cancer screening.

Dr. Matthew Richards Although not currently certified to do implant-based reconstruction or femaleto-male chest surgery for transgender patients, he hopes to add those capabilities in the future. “We need more support and more information for these populations,” he says, “because they are so stigmatized and so misunderstood, and there’s not a lot of solid medical training [for transgender care]…so there needs to be better access to care, better access to resources, and on the medical side, there needs to be better training of the providers.”

Beebe Healthcare is working to address healthcare equity. They partner with organizations such as CAMP Rehoboth and promise “a safe place where members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning communities can access care with respect and dignity.” Recently, Beebe hired Elizabeth Campbell, J.D., as its first Director of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging to ensure that these qualities remain a focus throughout the organization. For more information: beebehealthcare.org/ beebe-lgbtq-inclusive.

Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

Marble statue “Galatea,” Robert Le Lorrain, 1701, National Gallery of Art, Samuel H. Kress Collection Dr. Matthew Richards, courtesy of Beebe Healthcare

SUSSEX COUNTY'S ONLY BREAST SURGEONS ARE HERE. Matthew Richards, MD (Left)

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Diana Dickson-Witmer, MD, FACS (Right) BOARD CERTIFIED SURGEON SPECIALIZING IN BREAST SURGERY

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SUSSEX is Our

COUNTY Specialty OCTOBER 20, 2023

23 Letters

OUTlook

BY BETH SHOCKLEY

Getting the Shot

I

’m getting the jab—the new COVID vaccine along with the flu shot. I feel fortunate that I am able to do so and still have the choice to do so. Two friends and lots of people I know are all coming down with COVID-19 lately. Luckily, they are all OK so far.

It wasn’t like that in 2020, when a diagnosis could mean death. I lost three friends in early 2020 in New York City to COVID. None deserved to die, and it was all the worse knowing there were no vaccines or treatment that early in the pandemic. And no funerals.

This has changed. The vaccine we have now and the anti-viral Paxlovid have been gamechangers that have extended life for people infected with the virus.

Pause and remember the days of March 2020 when there was neither option. We lived in fear—of going out, of going to the grocery store, of other human beings. When my boss forced my colleagues and me to shut our workplace down, I could hardly believe it. She said it would be two weeks; it lasted more than two years—through my retirement. I may have disbelieved the pandemic was serious at the beginning, but there it was, with a face as blank and pitiless as the

sun, to borrow a line from WB Yeats.

Horrible things utterly out of my control have happened a few times in my life.

Two violent crimes that randomly found me in childhood, 9/11, the insurrection in

I’m in an age group that puts me at risk of getting severe disease should I be infected. For myself, I’d be crazy not to take available preventive measures.

DC, and the pandemic. Right now, we are facing the dismantling of democracy, and climate change is coming for us way sooner than we thought it would.

When such walloping, disorienting twists of fate come at us seemingly out of nowhere, my reaction can sometimes be dissociation. Can I trust what I’m seeing or feeling? Is this really happening? You bet your life it is, to quote Tori Amos’s song, “Cornflake Girl.” Such was the case with the pandemic. And while I can’t control a pandemic, I can mitigate my risk. And now, in the fall of 2023, the virus continues to mutate and people continue to get

sick. Those who have had COVID and those who have been vaccinated are less likely to die or get severely sick. These are facts based on all the information I have seen with my own eyes and read. I tend to trust facts more than opinion. Or conspiracy theories.

I’m in an age group that puts me at risk of getting severe disease should I be infected. For myself, I’d be crazy not to take available preventive measures.

I’ve been lucky so far—COVID and I have not yet met. But I’m not naïve or stupid enough to believe we never will. There are fewer and fewer people who haven’t had at least one iteration of this virus.

My odds of survival improve if I get the vaccine, so that’s what I am doing. It’s really a simple matter of survival for me.

I hope everyone who is able, can do the same. Check the risks, learn the science, and decide for yourself and your loved ones. Hang onto your hat. The rough beast is still slouching towards Bethlehem. And, circling back to Yeats, let’s hope the center holds. ▼ Beth Shockley is a retired senior writer/editor living in Dover with her wife and furbabies.

Know o t s g Thin My Mom: About ey,

rn d atto e r i t e e 1. R l Estat a e R 16712 Kings Highway, Lewes T F t n e 302.645.6661 Ag e c i v r mer Se o t s u 2. C Donna Whiteside first! s e m o c 302.381.4871 donna.whiteside@penfedrealty.com A member of the franchise system of BHH Affiliates, LLC

Letters 24

OCTOBER 20, 2023

19470 Coastal Highway, Rehoboth Beach 302.227.2524 www.stuartkingston.com OCTOBER 20, 2023

25 Letters

health+wellness

BY SHARON MORGAN

Unsung Heroes “The simple act of caring is heroic.”

I

— EDWARD ALBERT1

n 2007, my spouse and I were vacationing when I received a phone call no child wants. My father had been driving and he could not remember where he was going or how to get home. He eventually figured it out, but after that, he never drove again. For the next six years, my mother became his primary caregiver, with us children helping when we could. We all grieved as their relationship evolved from loving partners to essentially mother-child.

Each November, we take time to honor family caregivers. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, 43.5 million individuals have provided unpaid, or informal, care to an adult or child in the past 12 months. The value of informal care has risen steadily, from $375 billion in 2007 to $470 billion in 2013. As a comparison, the 2013 total for unpaid care exceeded the combined paid (formal) home care and total Medicaid spending in the same year. Regardless of their employment status, unpaid caregivers report a 27 percent decrease in their own positive activities because of their responsibilities.

Females represent three-quarters all caregivers; are more likely to spend more time than males providing care; and are more likely to shoulder the heavier burden in types of care. This changes in spousal care, where duties are divided almost equally, and among couples who identify within the LGBTQ communities, where the hours males spend providing care is more than double that of males in the general population.

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), by race, Whites account for 62 percent of all caregivers and are more likely to be older than their Hispanic, African American, or Asian American counterparts. Hispanic and African American caregivers, however, share a higher care burden and spend more time on average providing care.

Letters 26 OCTOBER 20, 2023

Moreover, African Americans are more likely to be sandwiched between caring for an older person and for someone who is under 18 years old. Approximately 85 percent of all care, informal or formal, is for a relative or loved one.

Many populations are vulnerable when caregiving is needed. For example, according to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Rural Task Force, elders in rural areas are more likely to reside alone, be at or near the poverty level, and suffer from at least one chronic condition or physical disability. Average driving distance for health care is about 45 miles.

Several studies indicate LGBTQ+ elders…face caregiving challenges.

Several studies indicate LGBTQ+ elders also face caregiving challenges.

Currently, about 3 million persons 55+ identify as LGBTQ+, with the numbers expected to double in the next two decades. LGBTQ+ persons are twice as likely to age alone, and three to four times less likely to have children. In addition, they are more likely than their non-LGBTQ+ peers to express financial concerns, to feel lonely, and to fear not being able to live independently.

Moreover, up to 44 percent have not been up front with their healthcare providers about their orientation, for fear of discrimination.

Military personnel and veterans are also vulnerable populations. According to the RAND Military Caregivers Study (2014), 5.5 million caregivers were attending to veterans; one-fifth of those became caregivers after 9/11. Thirty percent of veteran caregivers support their charges for over 10 years compared to 15 percent of non-veteran caregivers.

Military caregivers, particularly after 9/11, tend to be younger, employed, and have a minimal support network. Their care

recipients are more likely to have no health insurance, have a mobility-limiting disability, and be diagnosed with one or more mental health issues.

Children with disabilities pose unique caregiving challenges throughout their lifetime. The National Center for Education Statistics indicates as of 2021, 15 percent of all public school students were receiving specialized services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Established in 1975, IDEA mandates appropriate public-school education for eligible students determined to have a disability affecting learning. When not in school, formal caregiving for special needs children proves particularly challenging, with parents with disabled children experiencing more difficulty finding care (34 percent vs. 25 percent).

As a country, the United States lags far beyond most industrialized nations with the amount of health insurance and support programs available to caregivers. Recognizing the adverse financial and health impact this has on American society now and in the future, both the Government Accounting Office and HHS have begun studying the types of programs other countries have in place to best template in this country.

By addressing the needs of caregiving for both provider and recipient, we can promote a more equitable strategy for those in need. ▼ 1 Actor and activist Edward Albert cared for his father, actor Eddie Albert, for 10 years. Mr. Albert, Sr, died in 2005. The following year his son succumbed to lung cancer.

Sharon A. Morgan is a retired advanced practice nurse with over 30 years of clinical and healthcare policy background.

health+wellness

BY TARA SHELDON

Programs & Events CAMP Rehoboth is committed to providing a variety of health and wellness programs for all.

Register at camprehoboth.com unless otherwise noted. Zoom links are in the Monday email newsletter and sent upon registration.

Support, Growth, and Healing Grief Support Group: 3rd Thursdays 3 PM (Zoom) 11/16. A safe place to share with others experiencing grief and loss. Kevin Bliss is a certified End-of-Life Coach. Email kevin@kevinblisscoaching.com or call/text 202-607-1174.

Healthy Living vs Chronic Disease: 10/30 1-4 PM (CAMP). Prevent health complications; address nutrition, fatigue, pain, isolation; learn exercises to improve strength and flexibility; improve communication with providers Women in Circle: 1st & 3rd Saturdays 10 AM (CAMP) 10/21, 11/04, 11/18. Women in Circle is a welcoming, inclusive, and positive place to meet, connect, and share with other LGBTQ women.

Movement and Meditation Chair Yoga: Tuesdays 9 AM (Zoom) Erin Shivone guides you to synchronize conscious breath with mindful movement.

Men’s Yoga: Saturdays 8:45 AM (CAMP). Tim Rennick provides everyone the opportunity to modify or advance their practice.

Morning Mindfulness: Tuesdays 8 AM (Zoom). Erin Shivone leads a mindful exercise or morning meditation for 30 minutes.

Tai Chi: Tuesdays 8:30 AM (CAMP). Tai Chi with Master Trainer Marianne Walch, PhD, of the Silver Lotus Training Institute Yoga Over 50: Mon-Sun 8:30 AM and Mon/ Wed/Fri 4 PM (Zoom). Sue McCarthy brings compassion, humor, and encouragement and weaves mindfulness, breathwork, and meditation into her classes.

WELLNESS WEDNESDAYS

A rotating list of topics and activities to improve your health and well-being while socializing with others.

Boardwalk and Talk Wednesdays 12 PM (CAMP). Enjoy some fresh air and good conversation. Walk as long (or short!) as you would like! Tara Gush, Personal Growth & Breathwork Coach, joins 10/25.

Nutrition: 3-week Series Starting 11/1 1st Wednesdays (CAMP) • Heart Health: What’s Veg Got to Do with It, Dorothy Greet, 11/1, 1-3 PM • Food Labels: What’s in Your Pantry, Steuart Martins, 12/6, 6-7:30 PM • Sugar: Kicking the Habit, Tom Chaplin, 1/3, 6-7:30 PM Stress & Sleep: 2-week Series Starting 11/8 2nd Wednesdays (CAMP) • How to Control Stress, Steuart Martins, 11/8, 6-7:30 PM • How to Promote Sleep, Steuart Martins, 12/13, 6-7:30 PM

Bi-weekly and Monthly Events Register for the below at camprehoboth.com.

Ask Your Pharmacist: 3rd Wednesdays 3 PM (Zoom) 11/15. Cape Pharmacy pharmacist Joli Martini, PharmD, BCGP, answers your questions about medications and side effects. Confidential. Registration required at camprehoboth.com.

CAMP Rehoboth Book Club Last Mondays 5:30 PM (Zoom) 10/30. Hotel Cuba, by Aaron Hamburger (historical fiction).

Flaming Knitters: 2nd & 4th Mondays 6:30 PM (CAMP) 10/23. Flaming Knitters is an engaging and supportive space for connecting and conversing while working on fiber-related crafts with queer- and trans-affirming peers.

CAMP FAMILIES

CAMP Families is a network of LGBTQ+ inclusive families, who are committed to building community and creating meaningful memories together. For more information or to propose a new activity, email tara@ camprehoboth.com.

2nd Tuesdays 7 PM (Lewes) 11/14. Support group for parents and caregivers of LGBTQ youth. Separate meetings for youth (ages 1219, with facilitator) to share experiences with others in a supportive space.

Sea Witch Parade 9 AM (CAMP) 10/28.

Spread our community’s love and joy in the Sea Witch Parade! Dress in costume or wear one of our orange CAMP Rehoboth shirts.

Rainbow feather boas provided!

Zombie Fest 4-9 PM (Milton Theatre) 10/21.

Come visit the CAMP Rehoboth table at the Milton Zombie Fest—an opportunity for kids and adults alike to get in the spirit of Halloween. More info: miltontheatre.com.

PTK (Parents of Trans & Gender Expansive Kids) In-person & Zoom 7 PM. 1st Thursdays: Zoom; 3rd Thursdays: Wilmington PTK Delaware offers groups and a private Facebook page. Separate meeting spaces for adults and youth (ages 12-19) may be available. Visit ptkdelaware.com or email ptkdelaware@ gmail.com for more information.

YOUTHUP AND YOUNG ADULT PROGRAMS

Do you have an idea for a new program?

Email YouthUp@camprehoboth.com Young Adult Discussion Group: 3rd Thursdays 6 PM (Zoom), 11/16. This discussion group is for 18- to 25-year-old LGBTQ+ young adults. To register, email YouthUp@ camprehoboth.com.

YouthUp Book Club: Last Thursdays 7 PM (Zoom), 10/26 The YouthUp Book Club meets to discuss youth-selected LGBTQ+ YA books. October’s book is Dear Mothman

by Robin Gow. To receive a free copy of the book and to register, email YouthUp@ camprehoboth.com. ▼ Youth Crisis Support: Crisis intervention services for children under 18. Parents and caregivers are connected to a crisis clinician. Available 24/7. Call 800-9694357 or text DE to 741-741.

988: Free, confidential support and resources for anyone in distress. Available 24/7. Call 988.

Delaware Hope Line: Free coaching and support. Links to mental health, addiction, and crisis services. Available 24/7. Call 833-9-HOPEDE (833-946-7333).

OCTOBER 20, 2023

27 Letters

CAMPsafe Serves Our Community

FREE Condoms—Protect Yourself!

Mpox: YOU can stop the spread!

Mpox can spread through skin-to-skin contact, or contact with their saliva, upper respiratory secretions, and areas around the genitals. Find the latest information on mpox and where to get your vaccines at cdc.gov/poxvirus/ mpox.

PrEP, HIV PEP, and mpox PEP

What is the difference among these?

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a medication taken on a daily basis that can reduce your chance of getting HIV. HIV PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) is a medication that must be taken within 72 hours after a possible exposure to prevent HIV. Similarly, mpox PEP reduces your chances of getting mpox after a possible exposure to the mpox virus. To find out more, visit cdc.gov/hiv.

FREE Condoms—Protect Yourself!

For the best protection, get two doses of the vaccine! Find the latest information on mpox and where to get your vaccines at cdc.gov/poxvirus/mpox.

FREE WALK-IN HIV TESTING

Free, rapid, walk-in HIV testing and counseling is available at CAMP Rehoboth and in western Sussex County. To request a home HIV test kit, contact tara@camprehoboth.com.

CAMP Rehoboth 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE Tel: 302-227-5620

Higher Ground Outreach 12 E. Pine St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-470-7497

Mondays & Tuesdays............................ 12-4 PM Wednesdays & Thursdays .....................1-3 PM Fridays ...............................................9 AM-12 PM

2nd & 4th Tuesdays.......................10 AM-1 PM

ACE Peer Resource Center 20707 Dupont Blvd., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-585-4963

*Call CAMP Rehoboth to schedule an HIV test at the Laurel State Service Center.

Saturdays (Oct)............................ 9 AM-12 PM

Tuesdays..................................... 9 AM-12:30 PM ACE Peer Resource Center 547 N. Bradford St., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-628-3016 Thursdays................................... 9 AM-12:30 PM Addiction Medical Facility 1309 Bridgeville Hwy., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-629-2300

Laurel Library 101 E. Fourth St., Laurel, DE Tel: 302-875-3184 4th Friday.....................................................1-3 PM with Christiana Care Health Screening Springboard Village 411 Kimmey St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-253-8246

2nd & 4th Mondays.......................10 AM-1 PM

2nd & 4th Mondays................................ 7-11 AM

KNOW YOUR STATUS! Results in only 15 minutes!

No Hassle!

Letters 28 OCTOBER 20, 2023

Laurel State Service Center 31039 N. Poplar St., Laurel, DE Tel: 302-227-5620*

GET TESTED and get a new CAMP Rehoboth hat, sling bag, or gift cards to Lori’s Cafe or Aqua!

Scan the QR Code for the most up-to-date testing hours and locations.

TINY TIM Photo captured at AIDS Walk Delaware in Grove Park!

HUMAN COMPANION: Elizabeth BREED: Domestic Shorthair AGE: 6 weeks FUN FACT: He’s only 10 ounces and was found outside in Milford; he’s now the littlest of Elizabeth’s bunch! #KittyForACause #TinyTim Interested in having your critter(s) featured in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth? Send a high resolution picture (300 dpi) along with their name(s) and one fun fact to editor@camprehoboth.com. Our roaming photographer will also take photos in the courtyard all year long.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

29 Letters

Talking with Our Veterans

BY MARY JO TARALLO

Inspiring Conversations V eterans Day is a day for honoring and thanking the men and women of the military who served to protect the rest of us. Many veterans in the LGBTQ community live in or near Delaware’s coastal towns. They are dedicated to their country and continue to give back.

It’s a diverse group with amazing stories of valor, inspiration, and courage. Letters heard just a few of those stories over these past weeks….

Lisa Mosely was an engineer/paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division of the US Army, holding the rank of sergeant. Mosely joined the military after high school because she wanted to travel around the world. She came from a long line of veterans in her family: her father served in the Navy during the Korean conflict; her uncle and godfather, Jim Goebel, served in the Air Force; another uncle served in the Marines; a third uncle also served in the Navy.

“There came a point in my life where I had enough of rockets flying my way and I decided it was time…

Mosely served for 10 years and left due to a leg wound. She doesn’t like to talk about the injury she sustained while on duty. She simply says, “it was an honor to serve my country.”

“There came a point in my life where I had enough of rockets flying my way and I decided it was time to Letters 30 OCTOBER 20, 2023

move on in life, so I pursued a career in computer science,” she said. She credits the military for the opportunity to complete her bachelor’s and master’s degrees and pursue a PhD in computer science. Currently, she is an IT Program Manager/Federal Service in the Army.

On Veterans Day, she sometimes gets together to share a meal with other veterans.

Gordon Tanner’s career is an eyepopper! He served in many capacities in or affiliated with the military. He was commissioned as an officer through the ROTC Program at the University of Alabama in 1970 and got his law degree from Vanderbilt in 1973.

Tanner served on active duty in the US Air Force for four years and then signed on for another 24 years in the US Air Force Reserve, all in the capacity of lawyer in the Judge Advocate General Corps (JAG). When he left active duty in 1977, he joined a private law firm where he practiced for more than 20 years. He made partner there, all the while serving in the Reserves one weekend per month and two weeks every summer.

Later, he was recruited to join the Senior Executive Service (SES) as a full-time civilian Air Force lawyer. When he retired from that position, President Obama nominated him, and he was confirmed by the Senate, to a political civilian appointment as the General Counsel of the Air Force where he had approximately 2,600 lawyers working on his team.

Tanner was inspired partly by his father, who served in the Army during WWII and received a Battle Star and other commendations for his efforts in the European Theater of Operations.

Tama Viola served for 24 years in the Army beginning in 1984. Her rank was Master Sergeant. Viola’s brother, now a retired Army Colonel, swore her in when she enlisted. She became the first woman member of her hometown VFW

At one time, Tanner was the highest ranking openly gay, married veteran in the entire Administration. in Dunmore, Pennsylvania, when Desert Storm started. She and her brother became the first brother and sister in the VFW. “I always felt patriotic and loved the USA flag,” she said. She even has a flag tattoo on her leg that moves when she walks, and she has a 20-foot flagpole at her house. Viola decided to retire when she had logged enough years to do so.

After leaving the military, she became active with the VFW, rising through the ranks to become the first female Commander of her hometown post. She joined the American Legion here in Delaware but has not yet switched her VFW Post. “I still go back to my hometown VFW to assist the post with funerals and events,” she said.

Along with Deb Knickerbocker and others, she participated in the wreathlaying event for women veterans organized over the last Memorial Day weekend by the Gay Women of Rehoboth Meet-Up, a group that often

Lisa Mosely

Gordon Tanner

Tama Viola

finds ways to help veterans.

Knickerbocker was in the Army, holding the rank of Colonel when she reached full retirement age. She joined ROTC at Eastern Michigan University, intending to be commissioned as an active-duty officer. She was commissioned on January 3, 1979. She served 32 years total, 10 of which were in the Army Reserves.

Like Mosely and Tanner, she followed in the footsteps of relatives who had served, including her father, her paternal uncles, and a maternal uncle. Her godmother was a Marine before working for the US State Department.

Knickerbocker earned a teaching certificate and did student teaching and coaching right before she went into the service. She taught physiology related to altitude, spatial disorientation, and night vision at the Army School of Aviation Medicine. The Air Force

Toward the end of her military career, she focused on military support to federal disasters such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding. That led her to a federal civilian job at the US Department of Health & Human Services, continuing work in domestic response to public health emergencies and disasters. She now is retired but is Delaware’s Ambassador for the Military Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery, a volunteer role.

On Veterans Day she reflects on her many friends and former colleagues from the military and about the meaning of the oath of office that they took. “I have women friends who are veterans, and I think we find it easy to get together because we often have similar shared experiences of our time in the service,” she says.

Larry Richardson was a Master Chief Petty Officer with the Navy—a rank that only one percent of enlisted servicemembers achieve. He joined the Navy’s Delayed Entry Program (DEP) in August 1985 (the summer preceding his senior year of high school) and left for boot camp within three days after graduating in June 1986. He worked 40 hours a week throughout high school and delayed attending college. “I wanted to travel the world, and experience life far, far away from home—as quickly as possible,” he said. “Joining the Navy was the most expedient way to accomplish those short-term goals.”

When he enlisted, his oldest brother had years earlier completed a four-year enlistment in the US Army and two older brothers were on active duty with the US Marine Corps.

Richardson retired in 2011 after 24 years of service, 20 of which were with the Naval Reserves, but with active duty recall every three to five years for challenging missions around the world.

“I was several years into a wonderful

After leaving the military, she became active with the VFW, rising through the ranks to become the first female Commander of her hometown post. trained her in hyperbaric physiology so she could assist students or medical patients during hyperbaric chamber dives. As an aviator, she flew helicopters for aeromedical evacuation missions and, later, she flew fixed-wing aircraft in the Washington, DC area.

As an aviator, she flew helicopters for aeromedical evacuation missions and, later, she flew fixed-wing aircraft in the Washington, DC area. relationship with my current husband and, with another recall to active duty service looming, I decided it was time to leave the Navy,” he said. His decision to retire was equally motivated by a desire to no longer be constrained by Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT). Richardson also had a career with the US Postal Service while serving in the Reserves.

Dixon Osburn is a civilian human rights leader in Washington, DC who has tackled some of the most challenging human rights issues on the national and international stage—including the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

He was co-founder and Executive Director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, the organization that spearheaded the repeal effort.

His book, Mission Possible: The Story of Repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, an Amazon best-seller, chronicles what it took to be successful. Currently, he is Continued on page 32 OCTOBER 20, 2023

31 Letters

Talking with Our Veterans continued from page 31

Deb Knickerbocker

Larry Richardson

Dixon Osburn

the Executive Director of the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, US. Osburn spoke about the book at CAMP Rehoboth soon after it was released in 2021 and speaks throughout the country on the topic. [See the December 17, 2021 issue of Letters for an interview with Dixon Osburn.]

Tanner also is frequently asked to speak to groups about the effect of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and its repeal.

“As I was a senior leader inside the Pentagon—and openly gay—I had an ‘inside perspective’ on its impact and how the repeal effort was achieved and implemented within the military service branches.”

At one time, Tanner was the highest ranking openly gay, married veteran in the entire Administration. He maintains close contact with current members of DoD Pride and actively supports its efforts to enhance the visibility and equal treatment of LGBTQ+ members of the military services.

Retired Air Force veteran and former officer for the Veterans Administration’s Mental Health Department, Jim Williams, who served from 1966-70, and retired Army veteran John Zinsmeiste, who served from 1968-72, both remember what the atmosphere was like prior to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. “You just hid everything,” said Williams. He defended

the Clinton Administration’s decision to enact the policy even though many did not and thought the policy did little to combat the prejudice against LGBTQ

reservation,” he said. “Even with my 24 years of military service, my contribution to our country pales in comparison to theirs and these courageous heroes will forever stand head and shoulders above us all,” he added.

CAMP Rehoboth offers a heartfelt “thank you for your service” to all the veterans in the LGBTQ community. ▼

Letters 32 OCTOBER 20, 2023

“In some ways, the stigma and scars of DADT for LGBT veterans never truly go away,” [Richardson] said. members of the military.

Richardson doesn’t often get together with fellow veterans but says that his relatively brief encounters with those who served are usually with LGBT veterans. “In some ways, the stigma and scars of DADT for LGBT veterans never truly go away,” he said.

On Veterans Day, Richardson mostly reflects on the sacrifices of those that served in the past, as well as those currently on duty. “I also think of the hard-fought battles on land and especially at sea, and I am especially moved by those who—even in their darkest hour of giving the ultimate sacrifice in defense of our nation—would do the same for our country without

On September 20, 2023, DoD announced it will proactively review military records of veterans whose military records indicate their administrative separation was the result of their sexual orientation and who received a less than honorable conditions discharge.

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35 Letters

Out & About

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

Defending Your TERF

B

ack in 2020, my heart was breaking—the heartbreak that happens when someone you loved, or at least thought you knew, turns out to be more awful than you ever dreamed possible. And in 2020, I loved J.K. Rowling. I was older than your typical Potterhead, but I’d read all seven books and owned all eight of the films. I loved the world that Rowling had created, for reasons both simple and profound.

First and most obviously, she told a cracking good story. But as a writer, I admired the way her narrative voice grew and matured as her protagonist grew and matured. As a practitioner of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, I loved the way her story blended elements of fantasy and adventure with a nuanced treatise on humanism versus fascism. Indeed, even though the last of the Harry Potter series was published in 2007, I marveled at the way Rowling seemed to have predicted the Trump era, from the lies to the narcissism to the fixation on “pure” bloodstreams. I’d never met her, but I believed her to be kind and wise and good.

Then, she became a TERF. For those unfamiliar with the term, TERF stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist but, unlike the feminists I know and love, TERFs don’t really stand against the patriarchy. Indeed, they help prop it up.

The defining characteristic of a TERF is gatekeeping. They decide who are women and who are not women, and trans women are explicitly excluded from that categorization.

TERFs believe that having compassion for trans women, or simply accepting a trans woman as—well, a woman—is akin to denying the existence of biological sex and making the world less safe for women (or, at least, “real” women as defined by the TERFs). They depict trans women as potential rapists who deceptively gain entrance into women’s spaces like wolves in sheep’s clothing—even though the defining characteristic of a rapist is a deep and violent misogyny that would surely preclude wearing feminine Letters 36 OCTOBER 20, 2023

clothing as a disguise. If it seems nonsensical, it might be because it makes no sense.

By 2020, Rowling had already been flirting with transphobia, “liking” problematic tweets here and there. But that year, she went all in, publishing a long manifesto, accusing trans activists who want to live lives free of discrimination and

TERFs believe that having compassion for trans women, or simply accepting a trans woman as—well, a woman—is akin to denying the existence of biological sex… violence of providing “cover to predators” and suggesting that trans-identified teens were only transitioning to go viral on social media.

In 2020, I could no longer make excuses for Rowling. She wasn’t “misinformed” or “ignorant,” she was a wealthy woman with critical thinking skills who should have been able to discern credible information from debunked studies.

She was acting with malice and attacking one of the most vulnerable communities on earth.

The one upside to the whole mess was the swift reactions to her diatribe, particularly from Daniel Radcliffe, an actor who played her hero, Harry Potter, in eight blockbuster films. Faster than you could say “Alohamora,” Radcliffe, who is also an activist for LGBTQ teen suicide prevention, released a statement that began, “Transgender women are women,” and urged people to listen to health care professionals on topics they don’t fully comprehend.

I was reminded about all of this earlier

this month, when Martina Navratilova, lesbian icon and legend of the tennis court, found this statement of three years ago, and responded with a statement of her own. “Be quiet, Daniel,” she tweeted (or X’d, or whatever). “Just be quiet.”

Her comment took many people off guard. If you don’t follow Navratilova very closely, you might not be aware that she’s aligned herself with TERFs fairly frequently in the past few years. Most notably, she’s floated the theory that lots of men would soon pretend to transition, win a bunch of titles playing women’s sports, then immediately detransition and “go back to making babies if he so desires” (note the pronoun usage).

The main argument against this theory is that it’s never happened, not in the roughly five decades since transgender tennis player Renee Richards competed as a woman in the US Open. Another argument is one of fairness: transgender athletes shouldn’t have to choose between competing and living an authentic life. But ultimately, the conceit is, on its face, ridiculous. Nobody who feels that their gender is aligned with their biological sex is going to sign up for the bigotry and ostracization (not to mention the physical and financial costs) that come with a gender transition. To do that would be as painful as…well, as a trans person forced to remain in a body that isn’t authentically theirs.

Martina Navratilova was a hero, and rightly so, to many of us. And if you’re inclined to defend her now, I get it. It hurts when our heroes disappoint us. But she, like J.K. Rowling before her, is on the wrong side of history. She’s not the first heartbreak, and I fear she won’t be the last.▼ Eric Peterson is Interim Managing Editor of Amble Press, a novelist (Loyalty, Love & Vermouth), and a diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner. In his spare time, he hosts a podcast, The Rewind Project.

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37 Letters

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39 Letters

GIVE BLOOD, GIVE LIFE

BY MATTY BROWN

Opportunity Knocks

W

hen the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) lifted its ban against gay, bisexual, and men who have sex with men (MSMs) donating blood in early summer, it marked the end to another form of discrimination. Now, the Blood Bank of Delmarva is rolling out its plan to welcome the new pool of donors as the organization faces a Blood Emergency.

CAMP Rehoboth is stepping up to help with this imperative community need.

For several decades, MSMs were denied the opportunity to donate blood solely based on their sexual orientation.

Now, when donors sign up and arrive to donate, they will be asked instead about risky behaviors and other sciencebased data points that will ensure safe blood donations. These questions are asked of all donors, regardless of sexual orientation. The new individual donor assessment (IDA) was rolled out in early October.

Ralph Groves, account manager at the Blood Bank of Delmarva, explains how the questionnaire will ask about sexual behavior, specifically, about whether the donor has had a new sexual partner or multiple partners in the past three months, and whether anal sex (whether or not condoms were used) was involved. If answers to those questions are affirmative, then the donor will be deferred.

The shift to behavior versus orientation provides an opportunity for many in the queer community, including the greater Rehoboth community, to donate. As a gay man himself, Groves reports, “I never thought I could donate blood and have been scared [for years] to donate blood,” citing fears of getting outed or somehow punished for his sexuality.

To that, Groves understands there may be some hesitancy among gay (to employ the umbrella term here) men to donate blood. After not being able to Letters 40 OCTOBER 20, 2023

donate for over 35 years, Groves said that he’s heard refusals from friends. As the Blood Bank bears no responsibility for the FDA guidelines, his response is simple: “This is not about a boycott. This

“We only have a blood supply of a couple of days, compared to a blood supply we like to have of seven or eight days…” is about saving a life.”

Opening up the donor pool proves opportune timing as the Blood Bank of Delmarva recently declared a “Blood Emergency.” The emergency is defined by the Blood Bank as an urgent need for donors, due to dangerously low levels of O+, O-, B-, and platelets. “We only have a blood supply of a couple of days, compared to a blood supply we like to have of seven or eight days for each blood type,” said Groves. “Right now, we are under five [days] for everything.”

Groves noted that a single car accident can require 40 or 50 pints of

blood at one time. As the Blood Bank ideally hopes to collect 400 pints per day, one accident can deplete 10 percent or more of that day’s supply.

CAMP Rehoboth has responded to the urgent need by partnering with the Blood Bank to host a blood drive on Saturday, November 11, from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Registration options are to sign up for a “Whole Blood” or “AR-Double Red” appointment. Advance registration is required at camprehoboth. org/blooddrive.

“What pleases me about this partnership is it’s yet another avenue for our community to give back and get involved,” said Leslie Ledogar, Vice President of the CAMP Rehoboth Board.

“It’s not a monetary one. It’s a way to give a life without reaching into your pocket.”

Inviting the entire community, Ledogar continued, “I encourage everyone, whether they’re gay men, lesbians, or anyone else in the community, to register and save the life of a neighbor.” Ledogar shares in the founding vision of CAMP Rehoboth: a community of neighbors sharing empathy and compassion for one another.

Groves summarizes the plea simply: “Go donate blood. If you are able to donate blood considering the individual donor assessment and the questions they’re going to ask, please donate blood. We need it.” ▼ Matty Brown is the Communications Manager at CAMP Rehoboth.

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41 Letters

View Point

BY RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

A Compelling Memoir: Archive Activism

W

e live in a time of attempted erasure, of books banned and minorities demonized in one party’s pursuit of undemocratic power. At the same time, we see inspiring efforts to preserve and extend the civil rights gains of the past six decades.

A shining example is Charles Francis, whose new book, Archive Activism, is a graceful blend of engaging memoir and bracing call to the work of un-erasing LGBTQ history.

Our history has its villains. In the darkest days of the Cold War after World War II, for example, there were treacherous closet cases who aided and even led anti-gay persecution, like longtime FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover.

Francis poses beside Hoover’s grave in the book’s cover photo. (If you think that legacy of secrecy and shame cannot touch us now, look at the two US senators from South Carolina.)

In positive contrast to Hoover were civil rights leader Bayard Rustin, denounced on the floor of the Senate by Strom Thurmond, and luminous novelist James Baldwin, mocked in his day as “Martin Luther Queen.” They embodied intersectionality long before that term came into use.

One fired gay federal worker bravely fought erasure, charting the path of self-affirming advocacy for those who followed. That was Harvard-trained astronomer Frank Kameny. A World War II combat veteran, Kameny resented having had to deny his sexuality to serve in a war he supported. When he was fired by the Army Map Service in 1957 for being gay, he considered it an act of war—and as he told me in 1978, “I am not in the habit of losing my wars.”

Fortunately for history, Kameny was also a pack rat. Francis tells the story of how he led the effort to get Kameny’s papers to the Library of Congress, where they have been an invaluable resource for people like historian Eric Cervini, whose 2020 biography of Kameny, The Letters 42 OCTOBER 20, 2023

Deviant’s War: The Homosexual vs. the United States of America, was shortlisted for a Pulitzer.

Before Kameny died he received an apology from the federal Office of Personnel Management for his wrongful

termination five decades before, along with a Theodore Roosevelt Award for his defense of federal employees. The apology and award were presented by John Berry, President Obama’s openly gay OPM director.

I played a small role in helping Francis reestablish Kameny’s Mattachine Society of Washington (MSW) in 2011 with a new mission of archive activism.

Since then, he and colleagues like Pate Felts, along with research partners at the law firm of McDermott Will & Emery, have unearthed vital documents in the history of anti-LGBTQ animus. This includes records from the old US Civil Service Commission, the LBJ Presidential Library, Washington’s infamous St. Elizabeths Hospital, and the conversion therapy archives of an ex-ex-gay minister.

Many feelings, from inspiration to anger, are stirred by the wealth of

archival material unearthed by MSW. One feeling is of sadness at the lives that were destroyed by official intolerance.

Perhaps Francis’s most important message is that we are not done. He cites current threats to our community, including “Don’t Say Gay” bills.

A stark lesson of the times we live in is the persistence of anti-LGBTQ animus, whose history has been fleshed out so well by MSW. Francis experienced it firsthand in 2015 in Cody, Wyoming, when he and husband Stephen Bottum were interrogated by police investigating a missing child report.

Charles and Stephen were treated as suspects simply because they were a gay couple with a child. What resolved the matter was that their toddler lacked an identifying feature of the missing child. The frightening episode stirred a “pained empathy” in Francis for people stopped by police for “Driving while Black.”

Like the 16 mm documentary by Lilli Vincenz of New York City’s first gay pride parade, now preserved at the Library of Congress, much of our archives will be inaccessible if we do not convert them to usable formats.

Most of us are forgotten after those who knew and loved us are gone. What matters is the difference we make by the way we live our lives. But one group who can help us live on is librarians who preserve personal archives.

Francis writes, “Without knowing how to rescue, learn, and use this history, especially in a time of peril for our democracy, we are surely lost.”

Echoing James Baldwin, Francis says to me, “We need to let the power of our history run through us.” His wonderful book is an example of doing just that. ▼ Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist at rrosendall@me.com.

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43 Letters

Dining Out

BY MARY JO TARALLO

Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats

H

as anyone on the DelMarVa Peninsula not heard of Dogfish Head beer? The story of the brand started in June 1995 when local icons Sam and Mariah Calagione opened Brewings & Eats, the first brewpub in Delaware. It is a classic entrepreneurial success story.

The original and homey brewpub doubled as a tourist attraction and restaurant. It was torn down in November 2017 to make way for a sleek, more modern building that shares space on Rehoboth Avenue with the EmPOURium and Chesapeake & Maine, all Dogfish properties.

Four of us dined at Brewings & Eats on the grey and soggy Tuesday night following Tropical Storm Ophelia. The restaurant was packed, and the bar was hopping. The lively ambience instantly put us in a festive mood.

One member of our party—Pat—got a head start at the bar with a healthy portion of beef bourguignon. When she offered us a taste, we agreed that the savory flavor of colliding juices made it a good starter on a drab day. Pat had nothing but good things to say about bartender Rob who she said was friendly, fun, and attentive as was the young woman who serviced our table.

The menu is chock full of soup, sandwich, burger, pizza, and taco selections, not to mention a dizzying array of cocktails and wines in addition to its legendary line-up of beers and vodkas.

Being half Polish, I decided to try the pierogi. The plump dumplings were stuffed with pureed potatoes. Pierogis can be bland but the tangy horseradish cream that accompanied the dish gave this appetizer a tasty kick. It reminded me of the homemade pierogi made by the ladies auxiliary at a Catholic Church on Wolfe Steet in East Baltimore where many Polish and Ukrainian transplants lived when I was a kid.

Rosemary chose the beet salad that combined golden and red beets, and candied pecans, all resting on a bed of leafy greens. She declared it an excellent choice. She followed it up with the Steak Letters 44 OCTOBER 20, 2023

Frites, an eight-ounce dry aged woodgrilled flat iron steak from Roseda Farms in Monkton, Maryland accompanied by house-cut fries and herb butter. Roseda raises Black Angus cattle. The steak was tender, juicy, and flavorful.

I opted for a wood-fired pizza called “After the Storm”…and my [Italian] grandmother could not have made a better one.

I opted for a wood-fired pizza called “After the Storm.” It came piping hot and was bursting with blended flavors resulting from a combination of San Marzano tomato sauce, mozzarella, sharp provolone, cherry and banana peppers, prosciutto, pepperoni, ham, marinated olives, oil, and vinegar. My “other half” is Italian, and my grandmother could not have made a better one.

Except for the beef starter, Linda skipped an appetizer and headed straight for the wood-grilled “Where It’s At” burger with American cheese, bacon, mayo, pickles, lettuce, tomato, and red onion. She ordered it “pink,” and it arrived exactly as

she requested. It came with a side order of nicely toasted fries.

Whoever writes the menu descriptions has a quirky sense of humor. Reading the dining options is almost as much fun as eating the food. The company is proud of its “off-centered” view of life and presents itself in a slightly tongue-in-cheek style.

Other creations to try are “The Light of the World” pizza adorned with basil-spinach pesto, ricotta, house-made mozzarella, sliced tomato, prosciutto, arugula, and balsamic glaze or the “I Wanna Be Sedated” burger topped with Swiss cheese, wood-fired mushrooms, garlic aioli, lettuce, and tomato.

Brewings & Eats hosts music on Friday and Saturday nights, featuring primarily folk and acoustic guitar artists. The new building was designed partially to provide a more accommodating venue for entertainers. The restaurant is open 11:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Monday through Saturday and from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. on Sunday.

Off-season meal specials run from October 1, 2023, through May 18, 2024.

Weekly specials include 12 wings for $10 on Sunday, 25 percent off canned cocktails on Monday, 25 percent off burgers and pizza on Tuesday and Thursday, 25 percent off Exclusives (selected beers) on Friday, and 15 percent off cases of beer and cocktails on Saturday.

The Calagiones sold the brewing company in 2019 to the Boston Brewing Company, but the benevolent nature of the company did not change. Dogfish Head continues to support community groups (including CAMP Rehoboth), and events organized by the Rehoboth Art League, the Rehoboth Beach Film Society, the Nature Conservancy, the Center for the Inland Bays, Delaware Botanical Gardens, and many more. ▼

OCTOBER 20, 2023

45 Letters

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47 Letters

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

BY STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

A Call to Action

T

ransgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) is an annual observance on November 20 that commemorates the lives of transgender and gender-nonconforming people who have suffered from violence, bias, and animosity due to their gender identity or expression. This day is a solemn reminder of the significant discrimination and danger that transgender people frequently encounter, including experiences like harassment, physical attacks, and even murder.

In 1999, transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith established TDoR in response to the tragic murder of Rita Hester, a transgender woman in Massachusetts. Smith organized a vigil to honor Hester’s life and advocate for change.

Anger and concern following the murders of Monique Thomas and Chanelle Pickett, two trans women in Massachusetts, also helped motivate the first TDoR. Each year on TDoR, communities worldwide hold diverse events including candlelit vigils and marches to raise awareness about the challenges faced by transgender individuals and to honor the memory of those who have lost their lives.

During these gatherings, the names of transgender individuals who have left us are often recited so that their spirits and stories continue.

While TDoR is a time of reflection, it’s also a call to action to end the discrimination, bias, and violence that disproportionately impact transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. As we witness an unprecedented number of attacks against trans people in the US today, the need to answer that call to action could hardly be more urgent.

According to data from transrespect. org, 95 percent of trans individuals killed globally were trans feminine people, and in cases where information on race/ethnicity was reported, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) trans individuals represented 65 percent. These sobering statistics show us that these fatal acts of violence are not only the result of transphobia, but in many instances, also of Letters 48 OCTOBER 20, 2023

misogyny and racism.

To eradicate all hate and create a brighter tomorrow for everyone, first we must determine what kinds of hate we’ve internalized. Then, we can begin to

While there’s no perfect way to advocate for change, one thing is clear: inaction is unacceptable, and silence is complicity. deconstruct our own biases, do personal healing, and discover intersectional approaches to achieving equality.

LGBTQ+ individuals have diverse backgrounds and identities beyond sexual orientation or gender identity, including race, ethnicity, religion, disability, socioeconomic status, and the list goes on. Discrimination within LGBTQ+ subcommunities can be exacerbated when individuals experience multiple forms of marginalization and may not fully understand or empathize with the experiences of others.

Some LGBTQ+ individuals may internalize societal prejudices against their own sexual orientation or gender identity, leading to self-hate and projection of those feelings onto others within the community. This can manifest as discrimination or bias against individuals with

different experiences.

But we are strong together. We should be especially unified now since hardly a day passes that we don’t hear about new anti-LGBTQ+ bills being introduced in state legislatures across the US, most of which target trans individuals.

According to translegislation.org, 574 pieces of anti-trans legislation were introduced in 2023, with 83 passing and 366 still active (at the time of this writing). This compares to fewer than 20 anti-trans bills introduced in 2015. The same growing hate that motivates efforts to limit basic human rights through policy also motivates physical, sometimes fatal, attacks.

While there’s no perfect way to advocate for change, one thing is clear: inaction is unacceptable, and silence is complicity.

As a cisgendered, queer, white man, I am still on a lifelong journey to shed my biases and be an intersectional advocate and ally. I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I do know that I might not be here today were it not for the trans people in my life who uplifted me when I needed it the most, and that I’ll do whatever I can to fight for others.

If you are looking for ways you can be a better advocate, start by listening!

You can also investigate resources like the National Center for Transgender Equality’s Supporting the Transgender People in Your Life: A Guide to Being a Good Ally, available at transequality.org.

And, of course, you can get involved with grass-roots organizations like CAMP Rehoboth that provide essential services, resources, and advocacy to create change.

As we look toward this year’s Transgender Day of Remembrance, let us honor those we have lost by renewing our commitments to overcome unprecedented challenges and to build a future with limitless possibilities for us all. ▼ Stephen Raskauskas is a Sussex County native who has produced content for radio, TV, digital, and print.

Photo Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash.com

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49 Letters

Letters 50 OCTOBER 20, 2023

OCTOBER 20, 2023

51 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE BEACH AREA LODGING Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave.........................302-227-2511 Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave.....................................................302-227-9446 Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave.................................302-227-6688 Canalside Inn, 34 6th St.................................................................866-412-2625 Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave.....................................302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave.................................302-226-2742 Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave........................................302-226-0766 The Shore Inn, 37239 Rehoboth Ave Ext.......................................302-227-8487

LEWES FOOD & DRINK Go Brit, 18388 Coastal Hwy...........................................................302-644-2250 Harbour Waterfront Dining, 134 West Market St...........................302-200-9522 Matt’s Fish Camp, 34401 Tenley Ct...............................................302-644-2267

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com.

REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy............................................302-227-8484 Unfinished Business, Rt. 1 behind Panera Bread..........................302-645-8700

REHOBOTH ART | GALLERIES | MUSEUMS Caroline Huff, Fine Artist ...................................................www.carolinehuff.com Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave......................................................302-227-2050 Philip Morton Gallery, 47 Baltimore Ave........................................302-727-0905 Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln...............................................302-227-8408 Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave..............................302-227-7310

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK 1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center................................302-645-9355 Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave................................................................ 302-226-9001 Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave...............................................302-227-3674 Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave........................................................302-227-6515 Café Azafrán, 18 Baltimore Ave.....................................................302-227-8100 Café Papillon, Penny Lane Mall......................................................302-227-7568 Chesapeake & Maine, 316 Rehoboth Ave.....................................302-226-3600 Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave......................................302-227-2646 Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave................................302-227-1023 Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats 320 Rehoboth Ave.......................302-226-2739 Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave.......................................................302-227-3353 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 3 South First St.......................302-527-1400 Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave..............................................................302-226-1044 Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St.....................................................302-227-7653 Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr..............................................302-227-3100 Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave.........................................................302-226-3066 Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave........................................302-227-6966 Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave.......................................302-226-2240 Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-1139 Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave............................................................302-227-6080 Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave.........................................302-227-1007 The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue....................................................302-567-2726

Letters 52 OCTOBER 20, 2023

OTHER AREA FOOD & DRINK Bluecoast Seafood, 1111 Hwy One, Bethany................................302-539-7111 Catch 54, 54 Madison Ave, Fenwick..............................................302-436-8600 Matt’s Fish Camp, 28635 Coastal Hwy, Bethany...........................302-539-2267

SERVICES AT THE BEACH BUILDING/CLEANING/REMODELING/LANDSCAPING

A.G. Renovations ...........................................................................302-947-4096 bsd, 18412 The Narrow Rd, Lewes...................................... 302-684-8588

CHURCHES/SYNAGOGUES

All Saints’ Episcopal, 18 Olive Ave.................................................302-227-7202 Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd.......................................302-227-7743 Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 20689 Shoppes at Long Neck.......302-947-1044 M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd.....................................302-645-4945 Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd..................302-226-8977 St. George’s Episcopal, 20271 Beaver Dam Rd, Harbeson......302-227-7202 St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes.............................302-645-8479 Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy........................302-313-5838 Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro.................................717-579-2612 Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave.........................302-227-2109

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)..........................................................866-227-7441 ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project............................302-654-3966 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org........................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect......................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Parents of Transgender & Gender Non-conforming Children............................................302-227-5620 Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+)....................302-227-2055 CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+)..................................302-515-3040 Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center...............................800-223-9074 Delaware Human Relations Commission Housing & public accommodation............................................877-544-8626 Delaware Information Line............................................................................2-1-1 Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival..........302-265-3020 Delaware Transgender Resources—transdelaware.net, delawarelgbtq@gmail.com Delaware Transgender Support.....................................................302-402-3033

Gay/Lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous—add’l schedules..................302-856-6452 Saturdays 6 pm: Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd (step meeting) Saturdays 7:30 pm: All Saints’ Church, 18 Olive Ave (step meeting) Tuesdays noon: St. Peter’s Church, 211 Mulberry St, Lewes (step meeting) Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+).........................................302-645-9293 LGBTQ Student Union—University of DE, Newark.........................302-831-8066 Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth................................................302-645-7449 PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes SLAA and SAA—Thursdays, 7:30 pm, All Saints’ Church 18 Olive Ave ............................................................................302-745-7929 Social Security Administration—Lewes office................................800-772-1213 TransLiance of DE—Rehoboth—4th Tuesdays at 7 pm, MCC of Rehoboth; contact: TransLiance@gmail.com

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services........................................................ 302-478-9411 Karen Abato, LPC - Licensed Professional Counselor........... 302-500-3691 Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching.............................302-754-1954 Nancy Commisso, LCSW, Therapeutic Services.............................703-598-2938 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes ............................302-574-6954

ELECTRICIANS

Silver Electric..................................................................................302-227-1107

EVENT PLANNING/CATERING

Plate Catering.................................................................................302-644-1200

FINANCIAL SERVICES

County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd.......................................... 302-226-9800 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.........................................................302-644-6620

FLORISTS

Bayberry Florist..............................................................................302-227-5725 Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy...........................................302-227-9481

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium................................ 302-645-9520

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-ROBB Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1..............302-727-5331 Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy................... 302-260-9478

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties.....................................302-226-3519 AIDS Delaware – New Castle County............................................302-652-6776 AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide...............................................800-422-0429 Brandywine Urology Consultants...................................................302-824-7039 Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy.................................302-645-3300 CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth........................................................................302-227-5620 Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic ..............................................302-933-3420 Christiana Care LGBTQ Health Initiatives.......................................302-733-1227 Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide..........................................302-654-5471 Delaware Hospice..........................................................................800-838-9800 Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center.................................... 302-297-8431 National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)...........................302-427-0787 Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln....................... 302-226-0300 Steven B. Wright, D.M.D., 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy............. 302-645-6671

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

Lawson Firm, 402 Rehoboth Ave...................................................302-226-3700 PWW Law LLC, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes................................... 302-703-6993 Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning..........................................302-644-8634

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center.............................302-645-0407 One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave........................................302-226-3552 Reiki CENTRAL, thecentralfirm.com...............................................302-408-0878

PEST CONTROL

Activ Pest Solutions, 16803 New Rd, Lewes................................ 302-645-1502

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave..................................................302-226-2690 Pet Portraits by Monique................................................................717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn.......... 302-856-6361 Humane Animal Partners (formerly Delaware Humane Association & Delaware SPCA).......................................................... 302-200-7159 Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal. littlelandmines.com.......... 302-521-3983 Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes............ 302-645-7445

REAL ESTATE

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty...................................302-745-5122 Bill Peiffer, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy....................302-703-6987 Chris Beagle, Compass..................................................................302-273-4998 Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy...........302-381-4871 Hugh Fuller, Realtor........................................................................302-745-1866 John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-703-6987 Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave...........302-227-6101 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy....................... 302-645-6664 Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave....................................................302-227-3883 McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie.................................. kmcduffie@mcwb.com McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr.....................................................jorr@mcwb.com Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty................................302-227-3883 Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy........................... 302-227-1222 The Joe Maggio Group, 37169 Rehoboth Ave Ext., #11....... 302-226-3770 Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave............................302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes............................302-313-6658 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln.................. 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave.............................. 302-278-6100 CHEER Transportation (age 50+)....................................................302-856-4909 Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk...................302-644-0400 Olivia Travel...........................................................800-631-6277 ext. 696

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm...................................................... 302-644-3276 George Bunting, State Farm................................................ 302-227-3891 Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm............................................ 302-645-7283

OCTOBER 20, 2023

53 Letters

AS TIME GOES BY

BY PATTIE CINELLI

Are You an Active Ager?

S

enior, elder, old, ancient, weathered, over-the-hill— all these descriptions are of people who—like me—simply were born several years ago. I cringe when I hear people spouting these biased depictions. I hate all of them.

Describe me, instead, as a person with age. That seems more accurate and less judgmental. I feel great, move well, enjoy having fun, and appreciate the wisdom that comes with years of travel, talk, and experience. Imagine my excitement when I discovered that a recognized expert in the field of healthy aging, Colin Milner, founded the International Council of Active Aging (ICAA) more than 20 years ago and declared Active Aging Week in October.

Milner turned his belief that all our years “be alive with purpose and brimming with healthful activity” into a new kind of organization that helps change the way society perceives and responds to its older population.

Aging is changing societies on a global level, according to ICAA. Today, just over 34 percent of the US population is 50 and over, and that number is rising rapidly with the baby boomer generation.

Worldwide, that number increases to almost 38 percent.

No matter where you live, or what your specific lifestyle and health situation is, anyone can be an active ager, according to Milner. “Even if you are in long term care, you can always squeeze the juice out of life so you can live better and longer,” he said.

Active aging sees all individuals— regardless of age, socioeconomic status, or health—fully engaging in life within all aspects of wellness, including emotional, environmental, intellectual/cognitive, physical, professional/vocational, social, and spiritual. Research shows that an active lifestyle can lessen challenges and increase opportunities associated with aging. The ICAA offers a model to guide organizations, but those guidelines also can be followed by individuals.

Letters 54 OCTOBER 20, 2023

• Stay positive—Active aging starts with having a positive attitude about getting older. Yale psychologist Becca Levy has found that negative attitudes about aging can trim 7.5 years off your life. Other studies have found positive thinking can lower the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, as well as improve quality of sleep.

• Stay connected—Active social interactions, either in person or virtually, may help people live longer and reduce their risk of depression, according to The American Geriatrics Society.

• Stay involved—Participation in cultural, social, economic, and civic affairs as well as volunteering and helping out neighbors can also help foster wellness and healthier aging regardless of physical or cognitive status.

• Stay healthy at all ages—Your early life behavior, that includes diet, alcohol, and tobacco use, sets the stage for later-life active aging, according to Dr. Susan Friedman, a geriatrician and professor of medicine at the University of Rochester.

Changing to a healthier lifestyle at any age can help minimize the effects of disease and extend longevity.

• Stay curious—Intellectual engagement is as important as physical and social stimulation. Efforts that promote brain health, like taking a class, playing music, reading books about new subjects, or learning new skills, keep the brain engaged and neurons firing.

• Stay calm—This may be the most important guideline. Stress can cause inflammation which may lead to all sorts of physical problems, and stress can creep into our lives no matter what life phase we are in. Exercise, deep breathing techniques, mindfulness or meditation, and increased social and mental health support are just some nonpharmacologic ways to help.

While factors like income, education, and access to health care play roles in healthy longevity, we all can take an active approach towards aging.

While I like to believe I follow most ICAA recommendations, it has taken

conscious effort and consistency to maintain a positive attitude. I also struggle to learn to let go of things I cannot change (like my genes or things I did years ago). I do, however, choose to think that what I do in the present is most important.

A 2020 report from the McKinsey

While factors like income, education, and access to health care play roles in healthy longevity, we all can take an active approach towards aging.

Global Institute concluded that we should be thinking about health and aging more as an economic and social investment rather than a strain on the economy. The Institute’s findings can be a catalyst to changing the way people with age are considered. But the shift in thought must first occur within ourselves. “Long-term prevention and health promotion cannot simply be left to healthcare providers or healthcare systems. It is quite literally everybody’s business,” the report said.

There are no hard and fast rules for active aging, except to engage your whole self as much as possible. As Twiggy, an iconic 1960s supermodel who is now 74-years-old, has observed, “Being young isn’t about age; it’s about being a free spirit.” ▼ Pattie Cinelli is a writer and fitness professional who loves her age. She focuses on ways to stay healthy, get fit, and get well. Please email her with questions or column suggestions at: fitmiss44@aol.com.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

55 Letters

Celebrity Interview

BY MICHAEL COOK

Jackie Goldschneider and The Weight of Beautiful

S

ince she joined The Real Housewives of New Jersey in Season 9, we have gotten to see Jackie Goldschneider battle fellow Housewives and display a fearlessness about it.

What many didn’t realize was that Jackie was in the throes of an eating disorder that was consuming her on- and off-camera life. In her new book, The Weight of Beautiful, Jackie details her life and weaves in not how she lived with an eating disorder daily, but how it started to take over her entire life.

Michael Cook: Your new book, The Weight of Beautiful, is extremely relatable to so many people. Was it difficult for you to go through and relive some of the more troubling aspects of your eating disorder?

Jackie Goldschneider: No, it actually wasn’t, because these things never left my head. I always thought about them and what a shame it was that I was living like this for so long. It was really great to get them out of my head and to do something with them instead of just letting them torture me.

What was hard was moving past that and thinking about what implications those situations had and coming to terms with the fact that I destroyed so many celebrations and the quality of life was not good. Coming to terms with and exploring how it hurt the people around me and how it hurt people I love, those were the difficult parts.

MC: You were very open about your co-stars on The Real Housewives of New Jersey broaching the subject of your eating disorder. Did a part of you want your issues with food to come out in some way?

JG: No, I did not want it to come out.

When I signed onto the show, I was still very much in the grips of it. Until I decided to recover, I was still very much in the grips of it. Once I found out that they don’t leave cameras at your house, I was absolutely confident that I could hide this, no problem. I didn’t really think it would be a problem, and then it was Letters 56 OCTOBER 20, 2023

harder than I thought.

MC: Do you think that being a “friend” last year on the show helped you during your recovery?

JG: Last year, the friend role was very, very tough for me to accept, even

Most of the work that you have to do is on the inside. though it was the better decision for me.

The network and I both felt it was the best decision for me because I was not healthy yet and was still really struggling when these conversations about casting started in April of 2022. It was definitely not a good idea for me to be full time and put myself in positions where I might be stressed out.

MC: Having someone who is your partner in all things is absolutely crucial for so many of us. What does it mean for your husband, Evan, to be standing by you as a co-parent, husband, partner, and biggest cheerleader during your recovery?

JG: It just made everything so much easier. I always knew that if the day came that I wanted to recover, he would be so happy and so eager to do everything and anything that he could. Knowing that has made the process so much easier.

That said, even if you are all alone in this, it is still doable. Most of the work that you have to do is on the inside.

MC: The evolution of your eating disorder from childhood through adulthood is remarkable to see, but your recovery is inspiring to read about as well. How is your relationship with food now?

JG: I’m really enjoying it. There are foods that I eat—that some people have always just picked up and eaten—but for me, this is the first time I have tried them.

I had a pignoli cookie for the first time a few weeks ago and it was one of the best things that I have ever had. There is much enjoyment with food right now.

MC: You are currently filming Season 14 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and while you can’t say much, how is filming going after such a chaotic season last year?

JG: I am really enjoying it this season.

I think that the friend role suits me perfectly and I think that recovery and therapy allow me to become so much more confident and stronger and really and truly live my best life. I had to do a lot of work to let go of the traumas of my past; once I learned to really let go I was able to really move forward. I am in a much better place this season…it’s a great season! ▼ Follow Jackie Goldscheider on Instagram: instagram.com/jackiegoldschneider/?hl=en The Weight of Beautiful is out now; order here: linktr.ee/jackiegoldschneider.

Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News.

Photo courtesy Bravo/NBC Universal.

rehoboth museum ad 28-02_Layout 1 3/30/2018 2:11 PM Page 1

OCTOBER 20, 2023

57 Letters

Words Matter

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

Harold’s Story

W

isdom can come from unexpected places. When I was a college student I made a trip to Washington, DC, to visit American University. I took the train and arrived early at Union Station. I didn’t have much money and I didn’t know anyone in DC, so I could only spend the gap in time sitting on a bench inside the train station. An older gentleman who looked like he might be experiencing homelessness came over and sat next to me on the bench.

Moments passed and there was silence between the two of us before he decided to break it. I was enjoying talking with him, which was a surprise to me and a reminder to never judge a book by his cover.

He eventually asked me what brought me to Union Station that morning and more questions about school and what I wanted to do and pursue. I filled him in as best as I could. He was confident that I would do well if I stayed true to myself and kept my head up because I had a good disposition and seemed to be like a smart young man. He was kind. Then he asked if I wanted to hear a story. I had time and told him I would love to.

He said, “I’m going to tell you the story of a man and his son. The man sits down with his son and tells the kid to draw a picture of the world on one side and a picture of a man on the other side. After the son has done so, the father praises him for his great artwork. Then the father takes the paper and rips it into several different pieces. The son doesn’t understand why his father would tear his drawing into pieces.

“After the paper is torn up, the father puts all the pieces, probably 10 or 11 smaller pieces of paper, on the table. The father then says to the son, “I want you to put this back together again.” The boy, still confused, does so—or at least tries to do what his father has asked him to do. The boy starts trying to piece the paper together to its original state again so he could see the image he had made and so he could show his father that he’s capable.

“But time passes and the boy isn’t able to do it.

Seeing the frustration growing in the son, the father says to the son, “The reason why you haven’t been

If the thought of changing or making an impact on the world is too great, just focus on one single person.

Letters 58 OCTOBER 20, 2023

able to put it back together again is because you are trying to do it on the wrong side.” The boy asks, what does he mean?

“The father then organizes all the pieces of paper so that they’re all now on the same side the young man drew a picture of the man rather than the picture of the world. Then he instructs the son to try to put it together again. The son is quickly able to put the picture of the man together. The father asks, “Do you know what the lesson is here my son?” The son looks up to his father and says, “No, I don’t know what the lesson is.”

“The father explains that the lesson is this: when you are trying to put the world back together again, it starts with putting man back together again. If we put man back together, and make him whole and complete, then from that, the world will then be whole and complete.”

Over 20 years later I think back on that Sunday and that story to help explain a lot of things to myself and sometimes to other people. A man who is healthy contributes to healthy and whole families, which then creates healthy and whole communities which then creates a healthy and whole world. If the thought of changing or making an impact on the world is too great, just focus on one single person.

There will be a ripple effect. ▼ Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Instagram: @Mr_CJFluker

OCTOBER 20, 2023

59 Letters

The Sea Salt Table

BY ED CASTELLI

Tuna Taco Dip

I

have a thing for quirky people. I like them. I would even go so far as to say I’m drawn to them.

Now, you could argue that we’re all a little quirky and I would agree.

We all have something that points us a little left or right of north. Something that someone else might say is “off” about us.

But I especially love folks who not only own a freak flag, they confidently raise it up the pole every morning. They proudly wear their oddities on their shoulder, saying screw the mainstream.

Like the long-ago boyfriend who chewed his toenails. Yep, on the floor, watching TV with his foot up to his mouth. OK, that was gross. But points for flexibility.

Or the elderly neighbor who trims his roses naked, hangs laundry in his trees, and prepares all meals outside on his kneeling wall.

Or the woman who won’t make eye contact when she talks to you. Other people find her off putting. I find her riveting, or at least mysterious.

The things that make you odd make you the very person I want next to me at a dinner party. They make you interesting. They make you, you.

Owning the quirks you were given, by nature, nurture, or both, helps you live your best, truest self.

And when you’re standing next to me, the quirkier the better. Anything to make me appear more normal. Outdo my quirks and I’ll make you my best friend. And I have many to outdo.

For example, it’s no secret I have an intense love of sardines. Part nostalgia, part deliciousness. I could eat them every day. Slather pieces of toast with mayonnaise, add a can of oily sardines, and you just plated nirvana for lunch.

Stick in some iceberg lettuce and I swoon with pleasure.

Yes, they stink up the house and the recycling bin. Truth be told, I’m only allowed to eat these when my husband

Letters 60 OCTOBER 20, 2023

isn’t home. And even then, he sets out a can of Lysol for me to remove all evidence that the tiny fish ever graced our kitchen.

So this month, in the spirit of quirky, and just in time for football tailgating,

STEPS

 Mix the following in a medium sized bowl:

• 8 oz. block of cream cheese, softened • 1 Tbl fresh lemon juice • 4 oz. of taco sauce

 Gently add: Two to three 5 oz.

cans of chunk light tuna packed in water, that have been well drained.

 Serve with hardy corn chips or crackers.

TIPS • Use cheapy cans of tuna, the chunk light kind. There’s no need to spend more on solid white albacore.

• Do not substitute salsa. Taco sauce has cumin and other spices that salsa often lacks. Plus, it’s just the right texture to let the tuna shine through.

It has ingredients you’d never think would go together.

But do they ever!

• For corn chips, I highly recommend Fritos brand “Scoops.” The salty corn taste completes the taco dip taste.

Plus, you want a chip that won’t break as your guests dig in.

• If there are leftovers, this is fabulous on a toasted bagel the morning after your football party.

Go Eagles!!! ▼

I’m highlighting my sister-in-law’s recipe for Tuna Taco Dip. It’s most definitely not mainstream. It has ingredients you’d never think would go together. But do they ever!

It’s delicious, addictive, and a true case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Ed and his husband Jerry split their time between homes near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog Atticus. Recipe requests and feedback welcome: ed@seasalttable.com.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

61 Letters

Letters 62 OCTOBER 20, 2023

OCTOBER 20, 2023

63 Letters

BE A SPORT

BY MARY JO TARALLO

Women’s Golf League

C

AMP Rehoboth’s Women’s Golf League is an eclectic mix of personalities, backgrounds, and ability levels.

The nine-hole American Classic Golf Course hosts the 80-member league each Thursday evening from early May through the end of September. The league’s popularity results from members playing “for fun” but with a dash of friendly competition. Prizes are awarded each week and several individuals have turned in impressive achievements this summer.

Terry Koff, Beth Petite, and yours truly each won the Fewest Putts award with 10 this summer. Donna Dolce won twice with 11.

Lexi Gardner and Koff each won the Closest to the Pin award twice.

The team of Gardiner, Lisa Faber, Renee Guillroy, and Robin Miller hold the record for the lowest score of the summer with a five under par performance.

Claire McCracken tallied six Team Title wins playing with different groups.

Fran Panzo and Angela Murray were not far behind with four team wins each.

On the last night of league play, Fran took home both the Fewest Putts and Closest to the Pin awards.

McCracken has been playing for 20 years. Her idol is Tiger Woods. She has taken about a half dozen lessons and plays two or three times a week. “I find it very relaxing and just love being able to be outside in mostly beautiful weather,” she says. “I love the challenge and the competition with the other girls in the league.”

McCracken hails from Ireland and has been to both the US and British Opens. She says the toughest courses she has played are in Ireland, particularly Portstewart Northern Ireland. Her best 18-hole round was at the Springfield Country Club in Philadelphia where she shot a 78. She lives in Lewes with her wife, Jen Leonard, also an avid golfer.

McCracken also plays tennis and pickleball and loves to cook and garden.

Milton’s Panzo has been playing golf Letters 64 OCTOBER 20, 2023

for 28 years. Nancy Lopez and Annika Sörenstam inspired her. She has taken lessons throughout the years to improve her skills because, she says, “old habits creep in.”

“Golf is my happy place, and every round is different,” she added. It is such a happy place that she travelled to Hawaii to watch a PGA tournament at the Princeville Country Club on Kauai.

She plays at least twice a week and in charity tournaments. She loves the social element of CAMP Rehoboth golf and meeting new people.

Murray started playing in her 40s when she decided she needed an alternative to mountain biking. Self-taught, Murray credits herself as her inspiration.

She wants to stay active throughout her life and thinks that golf is a great lifelong sport. She plays a couple of times a week and has played world-class resorts at Hilton Head and Pebble Beach. She still bikes, kayaks, and paddle boards; she also plays tennis and pickleball. She

thinks the CAMP golf league builds a bond, creates laughs, and offers good times. “Life is short,” she says. “Enjoy every minute with others and with laughter.”

“We enjoy having the CAMP Rehoboth golf group here at the course because they are a super-fun group and always are respectful of the course.”

Donna Dolce says that her father put a club in her hands at about age 10 but she didn’t play on a course until about age 16. She took her first lessons at the age of 40. She plays a couple of times a week but is still shooting to break 100 on a regulation course.

Top to bottom, L-R: Angela Murray, Terry Koff, Beth Pettit, Fran Panzo, several members of the CAMP Rehoboth Women’s Golf League.

Koff has been playing since she was in her twenties, when her dad got her involved. She plays three or four times a week and her best score was a 92 on an 18-hole course.

The dynamo behind the Women’s Golf League is “sports gadfly-aroundtown” Rina Pellegrini. She is passionate about sports and has been playing golf for 40 years. It is not the only sport she plays or helps organize. She was the commissioner of the Senior Women’s Softball for six years. She is on the First State Pickleball board, and she runs the ladder leagues for them as well as the group’s website.

Pelligrini started a bowling league in Millsboro with six teams 10 years ago.

Now, 17 teams compete. By the way, she was a professional bowler when she was in her 20s. She logged 2,300 games in the Women’s Professional Bowling League and averaged 224 in her best year.

Adding to her lengthy accomplishments, she runs the corn hole tournament for CAMP Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST. She has been involved with CAMP for about six years but has been playing in the league longer. She also plays in

charity golf tournaments at Kings Creek and Rehoboth Yacht club.

“I love being involved with sports for women,” she says. “It is very important to keep active.”

The dynamo behind the Women’s Golf League is “sports gadfly-aroundtown” Rina Pellegrini.

American Classic’s Pro Instructor Sam Cresta has nothing but good things to say about the League and Pelligrini.

“We enjoy having the CAMP Rehoboth golf group here at the course because they are a super-fun group and always are respectful of the course,” he said.

“Everyone is friendly with our staff. Rina is awesome and does a great job organizing the league. She is one our biggest supporters!”

He also said that League members support the course outside of the Thursday night league. Many are yearly or monthly pass holders who play regularly,

take lessons, or just “hang out” at the bar/café.

Cresta is hoping to organize golf clinics for CAMP members who do not currently play but are interested in learning. Last year, he become a fully certified teaching professional in the United States Golf Teachers Federation and was promoted to head golf professional last October. He teaches anywhere from 10-15 lessons per week and runs group clinics a few times a month in season. He won the Coastal Style Magazine’s “Best of” award for best golf professional in Sussex County.

“We are all about growing the game of golf here,” he says about American Classic, “and I think expanding the number of golfers within CAMP Rehoboth would be an awesome way to do that.” ▼ Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association. She won a Gold Award for a United Way TV program starring Oprah Winfrey.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

65 Letters

Deep Inside Hollywood Josie Totah Hunts for a Title in The Buccaneers

B

ecause we’re all still missing the goofy fantasy of Downton Abbey, we know you’re watching The Gilded Age. It’s simultaneously trashy and luxurious and queer and boring— no better combination. But what if there was another not-exactly-Bridgerton series about more or less the same thing—young American debutantes sailing to England to find young men with titles and grand houses and empty bank accounts? Of course, you’ll watch that one, too. Well, it’s called The Buccaneers, it’s based on the unfinished novel by Edith Wharton, and it stars Mad Men queen Christina Hendricks, and a slew of young up-and-comers like Kristine Froseth (Looking for Alaska), Josh Dylan (Mama Mia! Here We Go Again), Kate Winslet’s daughter Mia Threapleton (TV’s Dangerous Liaisons) and, best of all, the hilariously talented trans actress Josie Totah (Saved by the Bell) as one of the gold-digging girls on the make for status and mansions. Watch all the single ladies get what they want November 8 on Apple TV+. ▼

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off Takes to Netflix

T

he 2010 queer-inclusive comedy Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, about a young man who has to fight his new girlfriend’s exes as though it were a giant video game, was so wildly energetic that mainstream audiences didn’t quite know how to deal with it. It took a while for the film to find its ever-growing cult audience, but find that audience it did, and now Netflix has taken the story and adapted it into an anime series, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, with the original cast—Michael Cera, Aubrey Plaza and Kieran Culkin (as Scott’s hilarious gay roommate)—returning to provide their characters’ voices. The film was originally based on graphic novels, so this is something of a full circle move. You’ll get to binge the whole thing over Thanksgiving as the series drops on November. 17. ▼ Romeo San Vicente never figures out who the killer is.

Letters 66 OCTOBER 20, 2023

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Rap Sh!t Doubles Down

R

ap Sh!t, the hilarious hip-hop comedy series from Insecure creator/star Issa Rae, is returning for another round. Season one focused on Miami rappers The City Girls (real-life rapper KaMillion and non-binary actor Aida Osman) and the personal and professional trials of newfound viral music fame they experience in the wake of their first single’s success. Their story continues as season two arrives, featuring the return of Daily Show alum Jaboukie Young-White in a recurring role. (For those joining his career already in progress, White is the queer comic actor and musician that made Disney history by voicing the first openly gay protagonist in one of their animated features, 2022’s Strange World.) You’ve got a little time to catch up on season one, before the Sh!t hits Max on November 9. ▼

A Queer Sleuth for The End of the World

E

mma Corrin, the queer non-binary actor who starred as Princess Diana in The Crown, is heading to FX/Hulu to solve A Murder at the End of the World. The team behind cult series The OA, Brit Marling and Zal Batmanglij, created this limited mystery series, and Corrin stars as a young amateur detective (a profession currently trending hard in the media thanks to the success of Only Murders in the Building and Poker Face) who has to catch a killer on the loose at a remote retreat before the murderer strikes again.

Rounding out the cast are some familiar faces/ suspects: Clive Owen, Twin Peaks alum Joan Chen, Triangle of Sadness co-star Harris Dickinson, young gay playwright Ryan J. Haddad, and queer Tony Award nominee Raul Esparza. The episodes arrive on Hulu during sweater weather—November 14, specifically—which technically makes it a cozy mystery. ▼

OCTOBER 20, 2023

67 Letters

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

The Simple BEAR Necessities of Life!

RB Bear Weekend, DE Stonewall, Straight Eights Lamda Car Club, and More!

THIS PAGE (left to right) Rehoboth Beach Bear

Weekend: 1 ) at Blue Moon: Dave Brubaker, Jordan Bailey, Dan Venditto, Jim Checkeye, William Brown, Brad Krueger, David Richardson, Steve Trevisan, Michael Ruth, Michael Murphey, Shane Sweeney; 2) at Diego's: Mark Kehoe, George Stakais, John Caruso, Dennis Dosworth, Joseph Dress, J.S. Adams, Charlie Rouse, Michael Whitlock, Manny Tejeda, Jeremy Kreer.

OPPOSITE PAGE Rehoboth Beach Bear Weekend: 3)

at Diego's: Paul Frene, Corey Peterson, Frank Iannucci; 4) at Atlantic Sands: Michael Whitlock, Chris Berg, Lee Whitehead, Tom Goss, Charlie Rouse, Liz DeRoche, Steve Manos, Matt Hocking, Jeff Donovan, Justin Ferguson, Gary Barlow, Steve Manos, John Hulse, Ben Leyland, Colin Dawkins; 5) at Bear Art Reception at CAMP Rehoboth: Eric Bolda, Bill Lipsett, Jeffrey Todd Moore, Max Fleishman, Joanne Caputo, Mike Fleishman, Dave Cobb, Ian Lekus.

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(More CAMPshots page 70)

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Letters 68 OCTOBER 20, 2023

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69 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

1

(Continued from page 69)

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3 Letters 70 OCTOBER 20, 2023

THIS PAGE (left to right) Rehoboth Beach Bear Weekend: 1 ) at Rigby's: Joseph Tag, Tik Mayhem, Adam Bencome, Scott Burdette, Steve Mongeau, Steve Hurd, Brian Simmera, Tony Kuczykowski, Michele Coleman, Keith Edinger; 2) at Purple Parrot: Thomas Sabia, Scott Brooks, Mike Mancina, Keegan Mosby, Dan Calamri, Faisal Alkhoula, Damon Callis; 3) at The Pines: Chris Hardick, Jamie McMoran, Chris Hare, Susan Lange, Stefan Meyer, Ken Langhan.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 4) at DE Stonewall PAC Summer Fundraiser, at Shrimpy’s: DE State Rep. DeShanna Neal, Robb Mapou, DE Lt. Governor Bethany Hall-Long, Melissa Navarro, DE State Insurance Commissioner Trinidad Navarro, DE State Auditor Lydia York, Lisa Sneed, DE Majority House Whip Kerri Eveyln Harris, Jaxon Harris, Misondri Smartt-Harris, DE State Senator Sarah McBride, Tara Sheldon, Rashad Taylor, Patrick Kealing, Kevin Naff, David Hennenhoefer, DE State Treasurer Colleen Davis, DE State Representative Cyndie Romer, DE State Senator Trey Pardee, Esteban Mendoza, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, Peter Schott, Dwayne Bensing; 5) at Rehoboth Art League: Linda Wolf, Carol Ellison, JoAnn Morgan, Charles Wright, Lauren Anderson, Sheridan Kingsberry.

(More CAMPshots page 92)

More UnBEARable Fun...and a little politics too!

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71 Letters

Historical Headliners

BY ANN APTAKER

What’s in a Name?: Renée Vivien

I

f you’re born as Pauline Mary Tarn in London in 1877, even to wealthy parents, evidently life wouldn’t hold much promise in the way of avant-garde excitement. But if, around age 21, you decide your name is Renée Vivien and you take that name with you to Paris, well, life holds the promise of excitement, indeed.

René Vivien née Tarn’s taste for French life began when she was quite young. As a child she attended school in Paris. In 1886, when Pauline was age nine, her father died and she returned to London, where her father’s will stipulated that his considerable fortune be left entirely to his daughter.

Her mother, an American from Michigan, was clearly a greedy sort and tried to have her heiress offspring declared legally insane so that momma would inherit her deceased husband’s entire fortune. The ploy failed, the Tarn fortune was placed in trust for Pauline, and at her maturity she claimed her inheritance.

With this vast sum of cash at her disposal, the heiress Pauline Mary Tarn, who now called herself Renée Vivien, hightailed it back to Paris…and into the arms of glamorous, high-living lesbian Natalie Clifford Barney.

We’ll return to that breathtaking relationship in a moment, because Barney wasn’t the first of Vivien’s female attachments. After her return to London upon her father’s death, the little girl Pauline Tarn formed a deep and lasting friendship, indeed a loving though later an unconsummated friendship, with a neighborhood little girl, Violet Shillito.

This emotional attachment for each other, even after Tarn became Renée Vivien, remained at Vivien’s emotional core.

But back to Paris and the high life with Natalie Barney. Barney, a wealthy American, was a central figure in the swirl of Parisian lesbian and cultural life.

Her affairs were many, her salons attracted the cream of the Paris artistic and theatrical life, and her poetry, stories, and plays were often the talk of the town.

The young, beautiful, and freeLetters 72 OCTOBER 20, 2023

spirited Renée Vivien fit right into Barney’s bohemian milieu, often adopting styles and manners as much male as female. Her relationship with Barney was a wild one—tempestuous, full of passion and extremes of emotion.

Their one-year affair fell apart in 1901 when Vivien could no longer handle Barney’s ongoing infidelities. Vivien chose to remain in Paris when Barney made a trip to America. The affair was officially over. For the next few years, though, even after Barney’s return to Paris and until Vivien’s untimely death in 1909, Barney made ongoing attempts to win Vivien back, all to no avail.

Vivien’s next important and longterm relationship, beginning in 1902 and lasting five years, was another spectacular affair, this time with Baroness Hélène de Zuylen. Hélène was not only a baroness, but a Rothschild. The amount of wealth at her disposal was incalculable, and together with Vivien’s less impressive but still substantial fortune, the couple were able to indulge their love…but discreetly.

As a noblewoman and a member of

one of Europe’s most important families, the baroness was not at liberty to flaunt her affairs. Though she was married with two children, she was able to travel widely and often with Vivien, as was sometimes a custom for women, lesbian or not. As long as they were discreet in public, their affair was tolerated, and indeed even unnoticed. The relationship ended in 1907 when the baroness took up with another woman.

While all this romance was going on (there was Vivien’s extraordinary affair with Kérimé Turkhan Pasha, the wife of a Turkish diplomat, for example, while still involved with the baroness), Vivien developed into a poet of considerable talent. She began in the style of the Parnassiens, a literary movement in reaction to the moodiness of the Romantic poets of the middle and late nineteenth century. She eventually found her sensually Sapphic voice in the philosophy and poetry of the Symbolists, who rejected realism and naturalism in favor of metaphor and symbolic language to expose what they saw as the truth of existence.

The young, beautiful, and free-spirited Renée Vivien fit right into Barney’s bohemian milieu, often adopting styles and manners as much male as female.

Giving back is my way of saying “Thank you.”

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Get to a better State®.

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It was through her Symbolist poetry that Vivien was able to express what several literary scholars believe was her deep and ongoing pain over leaving her first love, Violet Shillito, for the lure of Paris, and then Violet’s all-too-soon death from typhoid fever in 1901, the same year that Vivien’s affair with Natalie Barney came to a crashing end. In various poems, Vivien references flowers, or even the word violet, either in the title or as reference to the color or to the flowers. Perhaps her most famous poem in this vein is 1903’s “A Crown of Violets,” in which she wrote: And I had the terrible audacity to yearn For sister-love, of bright white, pure light, The gentle voice uniting with the night, The furtive step that doesn’t break the fern.

Vivien’s body of poetry is saturated with Sapphic desire, a desire she allowed herself to experience in all its forms and fashions. Her free spirit, though, did not shield her from the tragedies of life. Her final years were spent in a chaos of emotional turmoil, exacerbated by alcohol and drugs. Fetishes came and went, days-long sexual adventures rendered her sleepless and erratic, and eventually a deep depression manifested itself as a refusal to eat enough to maintain physical health. All of this finally led to her death in 1909 at the heartbreakingly young age of 32.

Renée Vivien is buried in Passy Cemetery in Paris. ▼ Ann Aptaker is the author of short stories and the Lambda & Goldie award winning Cantor Gold series. Her latest book, A Crime of Secrets, was released July 4, 2023.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

73 Letters

Q Puzzle The King of Tennis

Solution on Page 100 ACROSS 1 Opposite of loads 5 Zach Braff in Broken Hearts Club 10 Kind of jack 14 Bond foe 15 Practice heterosexuality 16 The race ___ 17 Omar’s Mod Squad character 18 Fruit container 19 Where truckers park their bottoms 20 Alaskan language 22 Start of what Coco Gauff said about 65-Across after winning the US Open 24 More of what Gauff said 27 Make heady 28 Barry Humphries’ Dame 29 Years ago 31 Above, to Byron 34 Not so exciting 36 Like a passive partner 40 Cher’s portrayer in Clueless 42 Tiny amount 44 Antonio’s Evita role 45 End of what Gauff said 48 Sweeping story 49 Surprised cries 50 “I ___ Grow Up” 51 They may lick you 54 Quartet after a desertion 57 Overtime pay component

61 Some Stein pieces 65 What the US Open has been giving women and men since 1973 67 Takei, on Star Trek 68 Shown on TV 69 Worship, for Father Mychal Judge 70 Twelve ___ (Tara neighbor) 71 Ride them at gay ski weekends 72 Go off, on Broadway DOWN 1 Improvise, like Robin Williams 2 “Lemon Tree” singer Lopez 3 Void, as a marriage certificate 4 Like half of an S&M couple 5 Ab Fab network 6 Make a blunder 7 “Peachy!”

8 Max Baer played him and his twin sister 9 Something to think about 10 Mustache, to fellatio 11 Warwick’s “___ Little Prayer for You” 12 One with a steel rod 13 Come after 21 Ted Casablanca item 23 Undiluted fruit juice

25 Big name in China 26 Air-safety agcy.

30 Allies alliance (abbr.)

31 Meatheads 32 Kazan, whose desire was a streetcar 33 Diana of The Avengers 35 Up there 37 Sound in a Star Canyon restaurant?

38 Bone of the leg 39 Put out a feeler 41 Hats in gay Paree 43 The Bells ___ Mary’s 46 It may be flared 47 Heather’s two mommies, e.g.

52 Advocate.com, for one 53 Mamas’ singing partners 55 Actor Robert and family 56 Suffix with homoerotic 57 Kiss from Kahlo 58 Water color 59 Mope around 60 Land of Sinead O’Connor 62 Some have it to grind 63 Melissa Etheridge’s “___ Am” 64 Pt. of SSS 66 Last letter in London

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Letters 74 OCTOBER 20, 2023

Advisor to philanthropists.

Trusted partner and resource to professional advisors.

“The DCF is a trusted resource. I have Delaware roots, and I think the DCF is a great steward for charitable resources. It’s great for channeling dollars toward meaningful causes and needs in our communities.”

Omari Simmons, former Milford resident, Cynthia and Nathaniel Simmons Memorial Scholarship Fund

At the Delaware Community Foundation, we help donors and their professional advisors make savvy decisions about charitable giving to maximize tax advantages and community impact.

To learn more, contact Mike DiPaolo, vice president for Southern Delaware, at mdipaolo@delcf.org or 302.335.6933.

delcf.org/daf OCTOBER 20, 2023

75 Letters

ADOPT YOUR BOO THIS HALLOWEEN! Midway Shopping Center 18675 Coastal Highway, Suite 8 Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971

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The Rehoboth Beach Bears Board is grateful to all our generous sponsors, attendees, volunteers and friends who helped make this year’s event the best one ever. The board estimates they have raised enough to double its annual scholarship endowment which will fund at least eight new scholarships in 2024.

PROUD SPONSOR

OCTOBER 20, 2023

77 Letters

arts+entertainment

BY LESLIE SINCLAIR | MATTY BROWN

SPOTLIGHT ON THE

arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community Ephemeral Expressions Opens at CAMP Rehoboth Ephemeral Expressions: Capturing Transience through Fine Art Crafts will be on display in the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery from October 14 to November 30, 2023, with an Artists’ Reception on Sunday, October 22, from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m.

In Ephemeral Expressions, 10 artists explore the concept of transience and impermanence through the lens of various craft forms. The art celebrates the fragility and fleeting nature of existence while showcasing the skill and artistry of fine art craft techniques. Exhibited artforms include mixed media, metalwork, paper art, ceramics, fabric art, glasswork, and woodworking.

The exhibiting artists are Joseph Barbaccia, Dan Bartasavich, Travis Bower, Bill Buck, Esther Naranjo Cortez, Susan Frey, Dee Gray, Jeffrey Todd Moore, Lisa K. Rosenstein, and Robert Bruce Weston.

Each artist’s work is accompanied by a statement that explores their interpretation of the theme and how it is manifested in their craft. These statements provide insight into the creative process and the emotions driving the artists to explore the concept of transience. Visitors can also create their own ephemeral art piece, one that promotes contemplation and stillness, and the eventual dissolution of the work, emphasizing the exhibition’s theme.

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com.

Letters 78

OCTOBER 20, 2023

arts+entertainment

In A Final Moment of Contemplation in a Journey Quickly Passed, Bill Buck asks “is there any journey more fleeting than that of birth to expiration…can we identify the precise moment when we discover the impermanence of existence and the

speed at which that string dissolves behind us?”

Dee Gray’s Prism Portal “…reveals a mixed media vision of a world where constant change becomes a noble challenge and our Achilles heel.”

“We all think we have time—not that we’re immortal, but that there will be a tomorrow for us,” says Dan Bartasavich.

“BETTER TOGETHER was completed during the passing of my mother.”

Susan Frey uses found objects to explore her need to tell a story. In At the Table, gatherings with family and friends all intermingle day in and day out.

In the delicate dance between craftsmanship and nature’s beauty, Travis Bowers finds inspiration as a wood turner. “I aim to convey the beauty of impermanence, celebrating the transient nature of life itself.”

CAMP Rehoboth is located at 37 Baltimore Avenue in Rehoboth Beach.

The Gallery is open Monday through Friday, from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m.

Plan to attend the Artists’ Reception to meet the artists and experience the beauty, depth, and emotional resonance that can be found in the fleeting moments, temporary states, and transient aspects of life. ▼ Images opposite page, top: Better Together by Dan Bartasavich. Bottom, L-R: A Final Moment of Contemplation in a Journey Quickly Past by Bill Buck; Transience in Time by Dee Gray.

This page, right: Father & She Busts by Esther Narando Cortez.

CAMP Rehoboth Theatre Company The Weir: An Immersive Experience

The CAMP Rehoboth Theatre Company’s next production, The Weir, offers audiences the chance to be fully immersed into the titular Irish pub for a night of ghostly folklore.

The set design features a fully functional bar; upon arrival, attendees can enjoy a variety of libations, including Guinness, Dogfish Head, and more. Set Designer David Musselman formulated the facsimile of a small pub in Western Ireland out of a recycled cherry fireplace mantle.

“This is a unique, immersive approach to theatre where the audience genuinely feels like they are in a pub listening to these fantastic ghost stories,” said Russell Stiles, director of the show.

The play, written by Conor McPherson, centers around a small bar called The Weir in a rural town in Ireland.

Three local men are settling down for the night, enjoying good beer and company. Their normal routine

is disrupted when their friend Finbar enters the bar and introduces them to Valerie, a woman from Dublin who has just moved into an old, haunted house in the town.

As the night (and the amount of liquor consumed) progresses, each local from the bar starts to tell a tale of ghostly happenings in the town. What starts as innocent braggadocio among the men turns into a real fright when Valerie reveals a real, haunted tale of her own from the past. Examining missed opportunities and the loneliness that may result, The Weir is a haunting play with its roots in Irish folklore.

Performances: November 2-4 at 7:30 p.m., and November 5 at 2:00 p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth’s ElkinsArchibald Atrium. The Saturday show will include an ASL interpreter. Tickets are $20 and are available now at camprehoboth.com.

Cast: Jack—John Marino; Brendan—Matty Brown; Jim—Richard Gamble; Finbar—Max Dick; Valerie—Leah Toomey

Raincheck

CAMP Rehoboth congratulates the cast and crew of Raincheck on its October run! ▼ Pictured L-R: Kelly Sheridan (who also directed the show) and Gwen Osborne, in their roles as Thema and Gwen.

OCTOBER 20, 2023

79 Letters

arts+entertainment

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

BOOKED SOLID Fair Play: How Sports Shape the Gender Debates by Katie Barnes c.2023, St. Martin’s Press, $29.00, 304 pages

T

he jump shot happened so quickly, so perfectly. Your favorite player was in the air in a heartbeat, basketball in hand, wrist cocked. One flick and it was all swish, three points, just like that, and your team was ahead. So are you watching men’s basketball or women’s basketball? Or, as in the new book, Fair Play, by Katie Barnes, should it really matter?

For sports fans, this may come as a surprise: we categorize sports according to gender.

Football, baseball, wresting: male sports. Gymnastics, volleyball: women’s sports. And yet, one weekend spent cruising around television shows you that those sports are enjoyed by both men and women—but we question the sexuality of athletes who dare (gasp!) to cross invisible lines for a sport they love.

How did sports “become a flash point for a broader conversation...”?

Barnes takes readers back first to 1967, when Kathrine Switzer and Bobbi Gibb both ran the Boston Marathon. It was the first time women had audaciously done so and while both finished the race, their efforts didn’t sit well with the men who made the rules.

“Thirty-seven words” changed the country in 1972 when Title IX was signed, which guaranteed there’d be no discrimination in extracurricular events, as long as “Federal financial

Letters 80

OCTOBER 20, 2023

assistance” was taken. It guaranteed availability for sports participation for millions of girls in schools and colleges. It also “…enshrine[d] protections for queer and transgender youth to access school sports.”

So why the debate about competition across gender lines?

First, says Barnes, we can’t change biology, or human bodies that contain both testosterone and estrogen, or that some athletes naturally have more of one or the other—all of which factor into the debate. We shouldn’t forget that women can and do compete with men in some sports, and they sometimes win. We shouldn’t allow overinflated numbers of trans athletes to stand, and we shouldn’t ignore the presence of transgender men in sports.

What we should do, Barnes says, is to “write a new story.

One that works better.”

Here are two facts: Nobody likes change. And everybody has an opinion.

Keep those two statements in mind when you read Fair Play. They’ll keep you calm in this debate, as will author Katie Barnes’ lack of flame-fanning.

As a sports fan, an athlete, and someone who’s binary, Barnes makes things relatively even-keel in this book, which is a breath of fresh air in what’s generally ferociously contentious. There’s a good balance of science and social commentary here, and the many, many stories that Barnes shares are entertaining and informative, as well as illustrative.

But will this book make a difference?

Maybe. Much will depend on who reads and absorbs it. Barnes offers plenty to ponder but alas, you can lead a homophobic horse to water but you can’t make it think. Still, if you’ve got skin in this particular bunch of games, find Fair Play and jump on it. ▼

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OCTOBER 20, 2023

81 Letters

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Letters 82

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OCTOBER 20, 2023

Keith Anderson & Peter Bish X Dale Aultman & Paul Gibbs X Shannon & Sarah Avery* Pamela Baker & Diane Dixson* Linda Balatti & Shirley Gilmer X Mike Ballinger & In Memory of Martin Thomas* Miriam Barton* Chris Beagle & Eric Engelhart* Tom Beall Barbara Beavers & Kathy Carrell Michael Beigay Sherry Berman & Deb Hamilton X Abby Bernstein & Karen Frank X Michael Boyle & Greg Murphy X Mary Ann Brewer Daniel Bruner & Tim Beymer David Carder* Kate Cauley & Pat Newcomb* Bob Chambers* Jim Chupella & Jim Wigand* Dottie Cirelli & Myrna Kelley X Steve Clayton & Brad Lentz* Betsy Cohen Gary Colangelo & Gerald Duvall X

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP 2023 Nancy Commisso* Thomas Conway & Thoth Weeda* Billy Cox & John Carr* Drexel Davison - Bad Hair Day?* Fred DiBartolo & Steve Wood X Maureen Dolan & Karen McGavin* Polly Donaldson Albert Drulis & Scott Silber* Sandy Duncan & Maddy Ewald* Ann Evans* Karen Faber & Lisa Balestrini Faber* Alice Fagans & Ruth Ann Mattingly* Lisa Fernandez & Allison Lindon Cecily Fisher & Loretta Higgins Keven Fitzsimmons & Jeff Stroud X Monica Fleischmann & Lona Crist X John Flournoy & Jim Chrobot Gary Gajewski - In Memory of Dr. John A. Boscia* Susan Goudy* Ken Green & Joe Kearney* Robert Henthorne & Roger Bolduc Theodore Hickman Carol Holland - Holland Jewelers X Caroline Huff & Brenda Robertson* Nan Hunter & Chai Feldblum Philip Johnson* Dee Dee Jones & Julie Blake Frank Jump & Vincenzo Aiosa* Marilyn Kates & Laura Glenn* Leigh Ann Kidd Andy Kite & Karl Martin Jay Kottoff & Mark Matey* Myra Kramer & John Hammett* Greg Kubiak* Edmund LeFevre & Keith Wiggs X Greg Lehne Judy Lettes & Sandra Sue Monica Lewis & Ann Zimmerman* David Lindeman & Andrew Phipps Frank Liptak & Joe Schnetzka* John Mackerey & Donald Filicetti* Patricia Magee & Anita Pettitt X Jill Masterman & Tammy Jackson* Tony Mazzarella* Howard Menaker & Patrick Gossett X Ray Michener & Tom Carlson* Bob Morris & James Weygandt Sandy Neverett & Pam Cranston X Pat Nickols* Paul Nye & Jerry Hofer Donna Ohle & Susan Gaggiotti X Maggie Ottato X Dotti Outland & Diane Mead X Joanne Picone & Kathy Bostedo* Frank Pirhalla Stephen Pleskach X Jim Pressler X Gene Roe X Thomas Rose & Thomas Sechowicz X Lucien Rossignol & Tom Harris* Terri Ryan & Kerry Muldoon Mark Saunders & Bob Thoman* Sheryl Schulte & Jeanne LaVigne* Teri Seaton Troy Senter & Stacey Chan*

Polly Smale & In Memory of Charlotte Reid* David Smith & Kenn Williams Susan Soderberg & Terri King X John Michael Sophos & Miss Dot Sophos* Diane Sozio & Patricia Hutchinson* Matthew Stensrud & Michael Cohen* Michael Strait & Tim O’Bar Lenny Stumpf & John B. Pitchford* Kaye Sullivan Brett Svensson & Bill Quinn Dust Doctors LLC* Thrasher’s French Fries* Lana Warfield & Pamela Notarangelo X Michael Weinert X Walter Welsh & Martin Thomas William Wheatley* Steven Wunder & Rod Hastie Jean Sutliff Young* Joanne Yurik* Larry Zeigler X John Zingo & Rick Johnson*

ORANGE LEVEL Ria Allman James Apistolas & Christopher Galanty* Gwen Atwell & Marla Hoon* Romulus Barba & Dean Yanchulis* Paul Barbera & Joseph Nolan James Beal & In Memory of David Van Patter Susan Becker & Mary Ellen Wivel Joel Berelson & Charles Maples* Janet Blaustein & Dona Garofano Kathy Board & Jackie Maddalena Boland Family - In Memory of Michael J. Kelly* Richard Bost & Thomas Moore* Linda Bova & Bridget Bauer - The Sea Bova Associates* Theo Braver William Briganti & Gary Moore* Anita Broccolino - In Memory of Cathy Fisher Wendy Bromfeld* Ronald Butt & Steve Cannon* Community Bank Delaware* Mark Conheady* Lois Cortese & Jill Stokes X Kay Creech & Sharon Still* Theresa-Ann Crivelli & Angela Murray* Lydia Croce Kenneth Currier & Mike Tyler X John D’Amico* Kathy Davison & Ruth Dickerson X Linda DeFeo X Anthony Delacruz & Ronald Mangano J. Lynne Dement & Lisa J. Snyder* Donna Dolce* Kevin Doss & Arie Venema* Arlyce Dubbin & Kathleen Heintz* Continued on page 84

Looking for a new home? Call us to "Sea Witch" is right for you!

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OCTOBER 20, 2023

83 Letters

Continued from page 82

Lissa Dulany Brenda Dunn & Karen Anderson* Susan Eig & Ellen Schiff X Jeanne Embich* Robin Esham Maureen Ewadinger* Ellen Feinberg & Lesley Rogan X Paul Finn & Joseph Porporino* Barbara Fitzpatrick & Denise Centinaro Deb Fox & Deb Bonneau Charlie Gable Ron Glick & Tien Pham* William Gluth & Channing Daniel* Ed Gmoch* Gail Gormley* Deborah Grant & Carol Loewen* Robert Grant & Chris Cossette Renee Guillory & Melissa Vila-Guillory Siobhan Halmos & Beth McLean* Tracey & Erica Hellman Sharon Hoffer Cindy & Wilma Holt Vance Hudgins & Denny Marcotte* John Hulse X Janet Idema & Patricia Higgins* Anne Kazak & Chris Coburn X Kathleen Kelly & Jeff Van Siclen Maryl Kerley X Ned Kesmodel & Matt Gaffney X Bonnie Kirkland & Wanda Bair X Rob & Jean Krapf X Robin Kroft & Elina Toole Barbara Lang & Diane Grillo* Mary Jo & Rachel Lauer Jim Lesko* Robert & Yen Ling Chip Logan Duncan MacLellan & Glenn Reighart* Susan Macy Amanda Mahony & Alex Albanese Robb Mapou & Mike Zufall* Marsha Mark & Judy Raynor* James Mastoris & Edward Chamberlain X Michael & Stephan Maybroda* Marcia McCollum Kathy & Steve McGuiness* Sherril Moon & Louise Montgomery* Margaret Moore & Sheree Mixell X Carol Morris & Ann Abel Lisa Mosley Judy Olsen & Joanne Kempton X Sandra Oropel & Linda Frese* Carolyn Ortwein & Ann Barry* Rutland Paal & Robert Mittleman* Sandra Pace & Barbara Passikoff X Stephen Pape & Jerry Clark* Steve Parker* Ellen Passman X Patricia Pawling & Jennifer Butz* Rina Pellegrini Deena Pers X Grace Pesikey & Janet Urdahl* Russ Phipps & Stephen Jacobs* Peter Pizzolongo & Carlos Prugue* Jay Raksin* Susan Reinagel & Dawn Henderson* Pat Renninger & Tammy Plumley X Judy Rosenstein & Elva Weininger X Deborah & Charles Ross X

Letters 84

Michael Safina & Tim Bean Katherine Sams* Richard Sargent* Richard Scalenghe & Thomas Panetta* Gary Schell & Jim DiRago Laurie Schneider & Margie Ripalda* Carol Scileppi & Valerie McNickol* Craig Sencindiver & Gary Alexander* Marj Shannon & Carla Burton* Tara Sheldon* Frank Shockley & Arthur Henry* Cathy Sieber & Brenda Kriegel* Anita Smulyan Tina Snapp & Susan Leathery* Christine Stanley & Joyce Rocko* Robert Stoltzfus & Gerald Warhola* Terrence Sullivan Trudie Thompson James Vernicek & Jeff Dailey* Joseph Vescio Tama Viola* Don Wainwright & Tom Jamison* Patricia Walker Bryan Warner & Mike Nonemaker Troy Watson & Dennis Wolfgang* Don Wessel Ralph Wiest & Anthony Peraine* Daryle Williams & Steven Fretwell* Lynne Wilmer & Jeannie Marsh Melanie Wolfe & Monica Niccolai Robert T. Wright & Jack Lim* Sherri Wright & Dick Byrne* Niki Zaldivar & Cecil McNeil X Helaine Zinaman & Roselyn Abitbol X

RED LEVEL Guy Abernathey X Dale Adams Debra Adrian Jim Affonco X Mark Aguirre & Wayne Gleason X Nancy Ahluwalla Bill Alldredge X Chris Allison Stephani Allison & Judith Gorra X Katherine Alteneder Alan Anderson X Daniel Anderson & Greg Melanson Andrea Andrus & Maggie Shaw X Peter Antolini X Patricia Antonisse X Wanda Armwood & Illona Williams* Cynthia Arno Diane Athanas Josh Bach & Edward Ginley Kathleen Bailey X Christine A. Baker John Baker & Richard Latham X Ruth Ball & Mary Ellen Jankowski* Sarah Barnett Curtiss Barrows X Barbara Bastow & Margaret McHale John Batchelor X Karen Beck* Beebe Medical Foundation* Mike Behringer & Nelson Correa* Alex Belano George Benes & Michael Mallee X Suzanne Bennethum & Deborah Smith* Jeri Berc X

OCTOBER 20, 2023

John Berdini X Lisa Beske - In Loving Memory of Steve Elkins* Christine Bielenda & Karen Feuchtenberger* Thomas Biesiadny X Deb Bievenour & Susan Shollenberger* Beatrice Birman & Mary Malgoire Lorraine Biros* Cathin Bishop & Laura Simon X Ann Black & Kaye Wachsmuth X Carol Blair* Eric Blondin - State Farm Insurance Rehoboth Beach X Jacquelyn Blue X Rev. Dr. Tom Bohache & Tom Laughingwolf Simmons X Annabelle Boire* Carl Bomberger & Mike Rhoads Robin Bond & Leanna Johannes* Bob Bonitati X Joy Boone & Marina Simmers X Randall Borgerson X Pete Borsari X Laura Borsdorf X Nancy Bouse & Norma Morrison X David & Donna Bowman X Deni Boyer & Loretta Imbrogono* Brian Boyle & Larry Gee X Beth Bozman* Jim Brady & Mike Hays X Kelly Brennan & Susan McVey* Susan Brinsfield & Barbara Devenport Kevin Brown X Lyn Brown & Winsome Boyd* Matthew Brown Al Bulliner X Belinda Buras & Linda Simeone* Geoffrey Burkhart & Bruce Williams* Carol L. Burnett X Timothy B. Bush X Richard Buske & Shawn McHugh Sherry Butler James Byrnes X Chris & Richard Cahill X Robertine Cale* Debbie Cali & Maddie Cunningham* Ingrid Callmann & Karen Askins* Leslie Calman & Jane Gruenebaum* Pat Campagna & Debra Sansoucie Terri Campbell & Victoria Smith Michele Campisi & Julie A. Slick X Joe Canter Matt Carey X Jim Carlo X Justine Carpenter X Shirley Carpenter & Mary Coldren X Deborah Carroll & Jill Steiner Jo Cason & Peggy Neidlinger Teresa Cason & Lynda Schepler X Sara Cavendish & Wendy Bunce X Denis Chandler & Sebastion DiMauro Linda Chaney & Irene Lawlor* Helen Chang & Pat Avery* Dr. Harvey J. Chasser X Mike Chateauneuf X Dan Childers & Ted Hernandez* Tom Childers & John Hall X Sandra Chinchilla & Michelle Holmes X Curt Christensen & Ellen Heald*

Billy J. Christian X Dennis Chupella & Rob White X Norma K. Clark X Rob Cline Amy Clouse & Betty Long X Julie Cockley Beth Cohen & Fran Sneider X Anne Cole & Sandy Freeman Carolyn Cole & Sandy McDevitt X Stuart Comstock-Gay X Inez Conover X Bill Cooley & Ken Watkins DVM X Josh Cooper & Steve Rathburn Jeffery A. Coover X Michael Cornell X Lois Corson X Mary Costa & Kris Nygaard* Renate Costner Becky & Tom Craft X Robert Crocetti X Bill Cross & David McCall X Madeline Cunningham & Linda Matulaitis Mark Cunningham & Ken Tattersall X Rich Custer Howard Cyr & Lynn Ashley* Ellen Dahl* William T. Darley X Carol Davidson Denise Davis & Jeanne Bilanin Jeremiah Davis Marsha Davis & Bev Lesher X Patricia Davis Frederick Dean & Steven Swierzy X Scott Dechen & James Maino* Michael Decker & Arley Jaimes X Michael DeGraffenreid Susie Ball & Susan Delaney X Ann DeLazaro & Annette Potemski Bernie Delia X Frank Dell’Aquila X Tracy Denton & Brenda Welsh Karen DeSantis & Carol Brice* David DeVargas & Steven Champion X Henry & Marcia DeWitt X Romy Diaz & Dennis Bann Geri Dibiase Photography* Julie Dickson X Phyllis Dillinger Tony DiMichele & Jeff Smith* Mary Dipietro & Wendy Schadt* Deb Dobransky & Ketty Bennett* Arthur Dochterman X David & Lizann Dockety X Peg Dolan & Mary McDevitt X Millie Donnell Frances Doyle X Paul Dradransky X Michael Driscoll & Ben McOmber X Susan Dube & Diana Patterson* Barry Dunkin* Deborah Duran Gene Dvornick X John Eckardt Eden Restaurant X Richard Egler Gail Elliott & Bea Hickey* Pamela Elliott* W. Kay Ellis* LeAnn Erickson & Julie Rasmussen Lisa Evans & Joann Gusdanovic John Farley & Dennis Wilson X

Dent Farr & Erick Lowe* Susan Farr & Joanne Pozzo* Jane Farrell Rene Fechter Larry & Ro Fedorka* Karen Ferguson* Mark Fernstrom Virginia Fessler * Jayne Fetterman* Irene & Edward Fick* Louise Fickel & Robin Mullican Ben Ficks & Bob Angell Allen Fred Fielding X Jerry Filbin* Mark Finkelstein & Michael Zeik X Rick Fischer X Barbara Fischetti & Janet Thoden Gary Fisher & Josh Bushey* Chuck Flanagan X Paul Florentino & Chris Pedersen X Sandra Fluck & Bev Pasquarella* Bill Ford Mary Ford & Judy Hedrick X Beebe Frazer X Jon Frazier Phil Fretz X Neil Frock & Bob Harrison* Susan Furman Cathy Gaiser Lynn Gaites & Faye Koslow X Nina Galerstein* Marcia Gallo & Ann Cammett Jerry Gallucci & Conrad Welch* Karen Gantz & Jeanie Geist* Kathryn Gantz & Kathryn Gehret Don Gardiner X Alexis Gardner Annette Gardner Peter Garneau & Dennis Rodriguez Ed Gasper Mindy Gasthalter* Wilson Gates X Charles George & Dennis Rivard X Tracey Gersh & Amy Johnson Gary Gillard X Edward Ginley Joan Glass X Angela & Cheryl Glodowske Karen Glooch X Jane Godfrey* Randall Godwin X Jackie Goff & Mary Vogt X Dave Gold & In Memory of James Yiaski X Robert Gold X Suzanne Goldstein & Dana Greenwald X Milton Gordon & Bill Hromnak X Teresa Gordy & Barb Ford X Dan Goren & Peter Robinson X Anita Gossett & Ronnie Smith* Robert Gotwalt & Norman Jones Shelley Grabel Bill Graff & Jeff Schuck* Lisa & Raymond Graff* Joe Greenhall & Tom Klingler Harvey Grider Richard Grifasi X John Grillone & Paul Schlear Jr. X Joseph Gritz X Carol Gross X James Gross X Richard & Frances Grote* Continued on page 86

Investment or Personal Use NEW CONSTRUCTION

Seaside Court

Enclave of 5 Homes on Rehoboth Avenue Ext.



4 & 5 Bedroom Detached Homes



Walk to Town and Boardwalk



On the Breakwater Trail Bike Path



Upscale features including: Quartz Counters, Tile Baths, Gas Fireplace, Large Bedrooms, Full Basements with lots of daylight



HOA includes Landscape & Lawn Care, Parking Maintenance, Trash, & Master Insurance,

From $1,325,000

38242 Robinsons Drive, just across Silver Lake Bridge 2 Unit home each with 2BR. Rent out or convert to single family.

$1,895,000

Randy Mason Shirley Kalvinsky 246 Rehoboth Avenue, Cell: (302) 236-1142 Cell: (302) 236-4254 Rehoboth Beach, DE 302-227-3883 (office) Randy@jacklingo.com Shirley@jacklingo.com

Zane Jones Cell: (302) 470-7669 Zane@jacklingo.com OCTOBER 20, 2023

85 Letters

Continued from page 84

Paula Grubbs X Helene Guilfoy X Bill Gunning & Joe Greoski X Mary Gunning* Jay Haddock & Hector Torres* Gerard M. Haley & George D. Zahner X Cynthia Hall X Roberta Hamer Mark Hare & Mike Newman X Kelley Harp X Sue Claire Harper David Harrer & Floyd Kanagy* Thomas F. Harris II Mary Hartman & Laurie Nelson Jeff Haslow X Janece Hausch* John & Mary Havrilla* Christine & Brooke Havrilla-Downes Nancy Hawpe Daniel F.C. Hayes* Ceil Hearn & Liv Ault Gail Hecky* Barb & Len Hedges-Goetti Leslie Hegamaster* Linda Heisner X David Herchik & Richard Looman X Fred Hertrich X Howard Hicks & Stephen Carey X Helen Hilderbrandt Bill Hillegeist X Barbara Hines & Nancy Froome X Howard C. Hines, MD X Karen & Mickey Hinman Janel Hino & Patricia Ann Scully X Mary Hoban Derrick Hodge Harold Hogue Harris Holden X Connie Holdridge* Christine Holloran Robert Holloran & Ed Davis* James & Edna Holsinger Chris Holt & Emory Bevill X Mollyne Honor & Shelley Garfield* Larry Hooker X Mary Anne Hoopes & Dianna Johnston* James T. Hopkins X Elaine Horan & Debbie Sciallo X Frank Hornstein & Mark Henckel X James Hospital & Jack Fraker* Robert Hotes X Corey Houlihan & Karen Abato Ellan Hylton Batya Hyman & Belinda Cross* Thomas Ingold X Claire Ippoliti X Chris Israel & John Stassi X Debbie Isser & Fran Leibowitz* Geoffrey Jackson & Will Delany X Fay Jacobs & Bonnie Quesenberry X Sharon Janis X Steve Janosik X Kathy Jantzen & Debi Cunn Allen Jarmon & Ward Ellinger X Robert Jasinski* Mary Jenkins & Laura Reitman Susan Jimenez & Cathy Benson X Donna A. Johnson* Ken Johnson X

Letters 86

Jim Johnston* Richard Jolly & Charles Ingersoll X D. J. Jones* Gay Jones & Barb Bartels Glenn Jones X Sandra Jones* Tom Jones X Beth Joselow Wayne Juneau X Mick Kaczorowski X Darleen Kahl & Susan Poteet* Bob Kaplan & Jeff Davis X Daphne Kaplan & Steve Scheffer* Sharon Kaplan & Pamela Everett* Kevin P. Kaporch X Amylynn Karnbach - One Day At A Time Gifts, LLC* Dawn Kasow Jennifer & Michaele Kayes Peter Keeble & Tom Best* Mark Kehoe X Donald Kelly* Michael J. Kelly X John Kennedy* Hunter Kesmodel X Laurie Kessler & Jennifer Ierardi Tom Ketterman Marge Keyes & Julie Arenstein X Charlotte King Jim King Spencer Kingswell X Jane Knaus & Cindy Myers* Lisa Koenigsberg & Christa Marks Karen Konkel Stephen Kopp* John Kort & Hung Lai* Robert Kovalcik & Bob Howard X Marcia Kratz* Karen Kreiser & Beth Nevill* Kevin W. LaBarge X Beth Lake Cheryl Landry & Lisa Corrado Peter Lanzaro & Frank Bodsford X Gail Larabee Dr. Mathilda Laschenski & Dr. Kathleen Heacock X Ruth Lauver & Judy Wetzel* Kate Lavelle X Carol Lazzara & Sheila Maden* Charlie Lee X Tara Leek Jon Leeking & Dieulifete Jean* Monica Lehman & Cathy Amberman Lisa Lekawa Charles & Matthew Lentz Jen Leonard & Claire McCracken* Marsha Levine & Susan Hamadock X Arlene & Ginny Levy-Balmforth Barbara Lewis Barbara Lilien* Alexander Lincoln Cindy Lins & Diane Milam Jamie Lipinski & Lisa Lintecum Duwayne Litz X Eleanor Lloyd & Celeste Beaupre* Robert E. Long X Cynthia Lowe & Rae von Doehren* Debbie Lupton & Ramona Dobbs* Diane Lusk X Donna Lynch Becky Lyons & Ebie Hamrick X Tina Maddox & Susan Green Joe Maggio X

OCTOBER 20, 2023

Bernadette Maher & Cheryl Tarlecky* Jack Maher X Barbara Mahoney Nancy Maihoff X Eddie Major X Bruce Majors X Scott Mallan & E.B Easter Harvey Manchester X Domenic Mannello X Stephanie Manos & Reber Whitner X Anyda Marchant X Kathi Marek & Mary Seminara Harold Marmon & Robert Hill* Shelly Marsh Norma Martin X Nan Martino* Marie Martinucci* John Matthews & Nick Polcini* Eric Matuszak X Ashley & Lauren Mayer Linda Mazie & Terry Koff Donna McCabe & Mac Ignacio X Kathleen McCormick & Elizabeth Fish X Mary McElhone & Nancy Kaiser X Thomas McGlone X Joe McMahon X Jeanne Ann McManus & Robin Robertson Anita McMullin Joseph McNally & Terry Jones X Charlotte McNaughton Chuck McSweeney & Michael Clay X Jim & Bruce McVey-Back* Buck Melton X John Messick X Alicia Mickenberg & Kathleen Fitzgerald* Jamie Middelton* Dr. Phyllis J. Mihalas X Melissa Milar* Alicia Miller & Shawn Noel* Bruce R. Miller & Dean D. LaVigne X Frank Miller X Marilyn K. Miller & Candice Zientek* Marvin Miller & Dan Kyle X Robin Miller Shelly Miller Todd A. Miller & Michele Frame X Doreen Millon Lee Wayne Mills X Stan Mills & Marcia Maldeis X Linda Miniscalco & Jeanne Drake* Martha Monell Andrea Monetti & Karen Petermann* Sue Monismith X Teri Moore & Barb Kulbaba* Mary Morgan & Beth Fitton X Meg Morgan & Susan Lynham X Richard Morgante & Edward McHale* Maryellen Morris Pearl Morris* Richard Morris Jack Morrison & Bob Dobbs* Barry Moshinski & Robert Ponzini Andrew K. Moss & Richard Blevins X Natalie Moss & Evelyn Maurmeyer X Brent Mundt X Mary Murdoch X Joanie Murphy

Marie Murray & Deb Ward X Robert Murray Cynthia Myers* Marc Nasberg & Howard R. Nelson X Noelle Navarro Keith Neale X Cindy Necaise & Debbie Cole X Lee Ann Nelson X Darrell Netherton & Robert Wheeler X James Newkirk & Leon Wilkowsky* Janet Newkirk X Arletta Nicholl & Mary Anderson* Scott Nickle Konrad Noebel, MCAT, LMT & Brian Cox* Teri Noel* Janet Nosal* Terry O’Bryan & Jack Musser James O’Dell X James O’Malley X Richard O’Malley X Missy Orlando & Patty Violini X Jeffrey & Lisa Osias X Kathy Osterholm* Randy Overbaugh X Sally Packard & Dinah Reath X Richie Pagnotta X Bud Palmer X Fran Panzo & Karen Groething Diane Pasatieri Marilyn Pate & Dorothy Smith* Emilie Paternoster & Monica Parr X Carol Patterson & Carol Hughes* Tim Patterson & Harvey Sharpe X Lucille & Dan Payne* Michelle Peeling & Wendy Adams* Roy Perdue X Al Perez & Gary Kraft* Colleen Perry & Jane Kuhfuss* Susan Petersen & Luz Cruz Don Peterson & Jeff Richman X Eric Peterson X Elizabeth Petitte & Erin Reid Bruce Pfeufer X PFLAG-Rehoboth Beach* Peggy Phillips & Norma McGrady* Frank Pileggi & Jon Blackman X Terry Plowman X Mary Lu Pool Trudy Portewig & Luanne Schinzel Linda Porto & Linda Tobin Roni Posner X Sue Potts & Karen Kohn X Timothy Price & Gerard Sealy X Sam Profeta X Sarajane Quinn* Jean Rabian & Ralph Hackett X Joie Rake & Nan Flesher X Elaine Raksis & Maxine Klane* Barb Ralph X Rob Ramoy X Bob & Mary Beth Ramsey X Linda Rancourt & M. Sue Sandmeyer* Lewis Rathbone* Julie Rathman & Sandra Eagles Nancy Ratner James Raynor & John Kolonko Carole Redman Janet Redman X Carolyn Redmon & Nancy Allen* Randy Reed X

Rehoboth Art League* Peter S. Reichertz X Ken Reilly & Tony Ghigi X Virginia Reime & Gene Tadlock* Jeff Reinhart & Jack Miller* Don Reppy Thomas Resh & Jeffrey Meyers X Judith Retchin & Elyse Wander X Deborah Reuter & Deborah Bea* Sarah Reznek & Babette Pennay Sandie Riddell & Eileen Siner* Patricia Ridge Marion Ridley & Mark Lundy X Ronica Ridley-Martin & John Martin Linda Rikard & Mary Jo Tarallo Keith & John Riley-Spillane X Heather & Cathy Rion Starr Joel Robbins & Michael Linder X Sandra Robbins X William Robbins & Gary Ralph* Sandy Roberts X Rob Robertson & Carlos Taylor X Teri & Amy Robinson-Guy* Craig Rocklin X Tim Rodden & Randy Clayton X John & Susan Roehmer* Chris Rogahn Jeanne Rogers* Roy Rollins X Lauren Romig X Debbie Ronemus & Peggy Sander* Ed Rose & Sandra Robbins X Michael Rose & David Le Sage Peter Rosenstein X Larry L. Ross X Mary Rossettini & Kathleen Taylor Ellen & Terry Roth Perreault X Barb Rowe X Ski Rowland & Gary Mosher X Joan Rubenstein X Herbert Russell* Kelly Sabol* Steve Sage & Thom Swiger X Joe & Nancy Sakaduski* Margaret Salamon* Sanford & Doris Slavin Foundation X Kim Schilpp* Nancy Schindler & Eric Youngdale Michael Schlechter & Kevin Sharp X James Schmidt & Carl Horosz Rosemarie Schmidt & Carolyn Horn X Sharon Schmitt* Holly Schneider & Linda Haake* Jaime Schneider & Glenn Randall X Peter Schott & Jeffrey Davis* Carol Schwartz & Robert D. Tyler X Craig Schwartz & William Pullen X Diane Schwarz Diane Scobey X John Scotti & Greg Landers* David Scuccimarra & Dorothy Fedorka* Shirley Semple* Joann Seppelt Dale Sheldon & Pat Coluzzi X Banner Sheppard & Marlin Hubler Kelly Sheridan & Debra Quinton* David Sherman X George Shevlin & Jack Suwanlert* Davis Short & Beverly Castner Frank Silverio X Marc Silverman & John Campbell* Continued on page 89

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87 Letters

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37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 | 302.227.5620 | camprehoboth.com Letters 88

OCTOBER 20, 2023

Continued from page 86

Sandra Skidmore X Ken Skrzesz X Jeffrey Slavin X Anne Smith & Lisa Taylor Carol Smith* Harlan Joe Smith & Dustin Abshire* Leonard Smith X Marty Smith & F. Price Connors* Rosanne Smith & Brenda Butterfield* Rich Snell X Sandra Sommerfield & Cindy Scott X Dee Speck & Linda Kauffman X Jim Spellman X Lorraine Stanish & Beverly Miller* Christy Steer X Frank Sterner X Diane Stetina Shelley Stevens & Joanne Locke Lisa Stewart X Libby Stiff & Bea Wagner X Russell & Patricia Stiles* Allison Stine & Pete Jamieson* Terry Stinson* Caroline Stites & Elizabeth Coit X Tracy Stith & Laura McCarthy Dr. Frederick C. Stoner * Michael Stover* Christine Strauss X Lois Strauss X Jackie Sullivan & Sharon Padbury John Swift & Ron Bowman X Gail Tannenbaum & Wendy Walker* Ronald Tate & Jacob Schiavo X Susan & Jill Taylor Micaela Tedford X David Thomas & David Tiburzio X The Hon. Henry E. Thomas IV & John-Kevin Litschgi X Barb Thompson X Thomas Tibbetts X Otto F. Tidwell X Cassandra Toroian X Manny Tortosa X Steve Touzell & Marshall Scott Beadle Cheryll & Bill Trefzger* Steve Triglia X Roz Troupin & Mary Harris X Patricia Truitt* Matt Turlinski & Jerry Sipes X Ed Turner & Steve Baker X Charles Tyrrell Bruce Uliss X Michael Utasi Debra Van Dyke* Jennifer Varone* V.James Villareale - & In Memory of Dale Ebert* Beverly Vogt & Waneeta Mack X Patrick Wadsworth & Mike Converse X Scott Wagner & John Sohonage* Marianne Walch X Jennifer Walker & Mary Ann Veitch X Paula Walker & Gayle Dumonceaux David Wall & Robert Houck* Valerie Walters Kenneth E. Walz & Robert G. Ward, Jr. X Garold Wampler X

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89 Letters

PAY ATTENTION!

BY ROBB MAPOU, PHD, ABPP

ADHD/ADD Is a Common Concern How Do I Know If I Have It? —What were you saying? I was thinking about something else….

—I missed my exit, but it’s an interesting podcast. Gotta turn around! (Yep— happened to me.)

—What did I come into this room for? Oh, look! My high school yearbook! Let me take a look….

—I just booked the Cape May-Lewes Ferry in the wrong direction! (Just happened to me.)

D

oes this sound like you? Obviously, I can relate, too!

If it does, you may think you have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), colloquially known as attentiondeficit disorder. (Note: ADD has not been an “official” diagnosis since the 1980s.)

There are three forms of ADHD: • Predominantly inattentive presentation, which is most common in adults; • Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation, which is much more common in young kids; and • Combined presentation, which has features of both.

Most ADHD hyperactive kids become less hyperactive in their teens but as adults, are still likely to be inattentive, fidgety, and verbally impulsive (saying the wrong thing at the wrong time without thinking). They may also impulsively make wrong decisions. Also, the hyperactive-impulsive presentation often leads to more serious behavioral problems in children and adults.

But just because you are inattentive does not mean you have ADHD. ADHD is a developmental disorder that affects academic and social functioning from an early age. Symptoms are always evident in some form by age 16, even if ADHD was not diagnosed.

Russell Barkley, Kevin Murphy, and Mariellen Fischer (disclosure: she is a longtime friend and colleague), in their seminal work on adult ADHD, ADHD: What the Science Says, found that ADHD is a very disabling disorder. Dr. Letters 90

OCTOBER 20, 2023

Barkley has said many times that ADHD does not confer any special gifts or creativity. Rather, it substantially affects the lives of people and can prevent life success in school, jobs, relationships, and even health outcomes.

What makes diagnosis difficult, and why a simple, “I have attention problems” should be considered carefully by a clinician, is that anything that affects the brain can affect attention. Many of the patients I see are highly accomplished but have sought an evaluation in middle age, out of concern that they have ADHD.

…just because you are inattentive does not mean you have ADHD. They typically report having accomplished much, but at a personal cost. However, most report a history of emotional challenges, typically anxiety and depression, that have affected them during their lives and have affected their perception of their skills and accomplishments. Many also report sleep disorders that are not treated or lack of sleep, which leaves them tired every day. This, in turn, affects their focus and their ability to solve challenging problems efficiently.

Adding to this, I and many others are convinced that the electronic distractions that everyone faces (e.g., increased reliance on email, necessity of using the internet for work, explosion of information and information channels) and the job demands requiring professionals to be available 24/7, are making it very hard for everyone to work efficiently. There are also data to support the impact of screens on attention.

These distractions cause normal individuals to wonder if they have ADHD. Also, the inability to totally get away from

work and “unplug” keeps everyone from having the downtime that is needed to maintain a balanced life. One does not have to use ADHD as an explanation for these problems, especially when there is no history of ADHD and when there is a better explanation for the problems.

A good diagnostic evaluation should include a thorough review of a patient’s educational, vocational, and relationship history. Whenever possible, it should include a review of academic records and, if available, elementary school records with comments about behaviors related to attention, work completion, and disruptiveness. If a student is described as a conscientious and cooperative student who listens in class and does his/her work, then ADHD is less likely.

A short battery of neuropsychological tests, including a measure of personality and emotional functioning and measures of validity, can reveal if a person’s cognitive problems are real or exaggerated.

With this information, I make my diagnosis—which is not always ADHD. The correct diagnosis is crucial because it determines the most effective treatment.

Still think you have ADHD? Ask your primary care provider to refer you to a psychologist or neuropsychologist for an assessment. ▼ Dr. Robb Mapou is one of only three boardcertified clinical neuropsychologists in Delaware. In addition to evaluating older adults who have concerns about cognitive changes, he specializes in evaluating teenagers and adults for autism spectrum disorder, specific learning disorders, and ADHD. His office is in Rehoboth Beach; visit his website: drrobbmapou.com, or email at: drrobbmapou@proton.me.

Infant puppies and kittens are tons of fun to see grow to adoption age. And then there are adult dogs and cats who need a little time out of the shelter and appreciate every ounce of love they get.

We’re saving more lives than ever, and these just some of the ways you can help as a foster family. Timeframes can range from as short as a week to longer. We provide all the supplies and tailor the timeframe and the pets to your situation. Join our lifesaving work as a foster by applying today at:

Georgetown Campus 302-858-4203 | 22918 Dupont Boulevard, Georgetown, DE 19947 OCTOBER 20, 2023

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(Continued from page 71)

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THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at AIDS Walk Delaware in Grove Park: Jason Mathis, Joe Vescio, Tara Sheldon, Barry Moshinski, Matty Brown, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey; 2) at Theo's: Lucas Ricardo, Geoff Jackson, Rick Hardy, Marvin Miller; 3) at Back Porch Café: Jon Kaplan, Ellen Kaplan-Goldstein, Cliff Lassahn, Lori Sachs; 4) at Blue Moon: Gary Adler, Telly Leung, J.J. Johnson, Brenda Belles, Dale Belles, Pam Lynn, Doug Lynn; 5) at Gallery 50: Dale McGann, Beth Cartland, Ed McGann, Jennifer Cartland, Scott Cartland.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 2) at Straight Eights Lamda Car Club Annual Car Show: Paul Christensen, Dennis Morgan, John Cianciosi, Marty Rendon, Yost Bonham, Jim Prettyman, Matt Turlinkski, Jerry Sipes, Andy Dorosky, Steve Leaderman, Lou Frontino, Joey Frontino, Kevin McGarry; 7) at Clear Space Theatre Gala: David Button, Autumn Schneider, Stephanie Witcomb, Jason Abela, George Toma, Sam Steward, Nick Crawford, Katelyn Crawford, Tony Burns, Sallie Forman, Christopher Decker, Dawn Weilminster, Chris Weilminster; 8) at The Pines: RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, David Gonce, Robert Simpson, Joe Walker, Subhayu Nayek, Michael Solonoski, John Flynn.

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Curiosity Cabinets

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Creepy and Kooky, and All Together Ooky collections in Europe evolved out of cabinets of curiosity owned by individuals.

These include the British Museum (from the collection of physician Hans Sloane); Russia’s first museum, the Kunstkamera, (from Peter the Great’s cabinet of curiosities); the Uffizi Gallery in Florence (from the personal collection of Cosimo Medici); and the Prado in Madrid, (from the Charles III of Spain Natural History Cabinet).

FROM CURIOUS TO MACABRE

I

n 16th and 17th century Europe, people with means (and a bit of a quirky side) began building collections of objects to wow their friends.

I’m not talking stamps and coins here. They amassed collections of things such as ancient artifacts, weaponry, coral and shells, globes, exotic plant and animal specimens, bell jars containing rare objects or miniature scenes, manmade oddities such as mermen, and even human body parts. Their goal was not just to own the objects, but to also to display them, so they created what became known as a cabinet of curiosities or wunderkammer (room of wonder).

Some collectors took themselves quite seriously, carefully identifying and verifying each object, even making scientific labels, or grouping items into categories.

A few of these folks had actual cred as apothecaries, botanists, or anatomists, but many were simply aristocrats who could afford to buy whatever amused them.

What started as a small cabinet containing a few natural and manmade objects often became a large cabinet with many drawers, shelves, and compartments, brimming with specimens.

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Some collections grew so massive, they occupied entire rooms. Objects were hung on walls and even from the ceiling.

If you’re visualizing a museum, you’re on the right track. This odd hobby, which first became popular during the Renaissance and reached a pinnacle of popularity in the Victorian era, led to the creation of the modern museum.

Frederik Ruysch (1638-1731) was a Dutch botanist and anatomist who developed techniques for preserving anatomical specimens. He used this skill to create a cabinet of curiosities that included human body parts, preserved organs, and exotic birds. He is best remembered today for his fanciful tableaux featuring human fetal skeletons and other bits of human remains. His daughter made lovely miniature cuffs and collars that could be slipped onto the tiny arms and necks.

FROM MEDICI TO MUSEUM

In the mid-1600s, a father and son (both named John Tradescant), who were employed by the wealthy Earl of Salisbury, travelled the world known to Europeans, shipping back exotic botanical, geological, and zoological specimens as well as manmade objects they found. Their treasures ranged from “Powhatan’s mantle,” a large deer-hide with shell beadwork that was said to have belonged to Pocahantas’s father, to the stuffed body of a dodo. The collection was later acquired by wealthy antiquary Elias Ashmole, who donated it to the University of Oxford, where it became the Ashmolean Museum, Britain’s first public museum and the world’s first university museum in 1683.

Some of the most famous museum

He is best remembered today for his fanciful tableaux featuring human fetal skeletons and other bits of human remains.

These little skeletons were portrayed crying into handkerchiefs, wearing strings of pearls, or playing the violin.

According to Steven Jay Gould in his book Finders, Keepers: Eight Collectors: “Ruysch made about a dozen tableaux, constructed of human fetal skeletons with backgrounds of other body parts, on allegorical themes of death and the transiency of life…. Ruysch built the ‘geological’ landscapes of these tableaux from gallstones and kidneystones, and ‘botanical’ backgrounds from injected and hardened major veins and arteries for ‘trees,’ and more ramified tissue of lungs and smaller vessels for ‘bushes’ and ‘grass.’”

FROM CURIOSITIES TO QUEERIOSITIES

In 2017, the Centre International D’Art Contemporain de Montréal presented LGBTQ+ Cabinets of Curiosities. The cabinets showcased life stories of individuals and groups linked to LGBTQ+ sexuality.

The public was invited to open cabinet drawers to examine works, artifacts, archive documents from community organizations, photos, publications, and personal testimonies.

The GLBT Historical Society’s Art and Artifacts Collection includes a diverse col-

lection of two-dimensional and three-dimensional objects, and their online exhibition, Queeriosities: Treasures from the Art and Artifacts Collection, features their own cabinet of curiosities. Visit it here: glbthistory.org/queeriosities.

WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN CURIOSITY CABINET?

In our area, an easy way to start a collection is by beachcombing. Gather not only shells, stones, and other natural objects, but also manmade items that wash up.

Thrift stores are great places to find bell jars, glass apothecary jars, and even glass-fronted cabinets, as well as unusual items such as antique household objects, miniatures, old game pieces, buttons, etc.

Intrigued by biological specimens? Check out the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia, which displays its “beautifully preserved collections of anatomical specimens, models, and medical instruments in a nineteenth-century ‘cabinet museum’ setting.” You can also find biological specimens and oddities on Etsy. Let your curiosity be your guide. ▼ Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

Images opposite page, L-R, Cabinet of Curiosities, Domenico Remps, c. 1690, Museo dell’Opificio delle Pietre Dure; Ruysch image #16, Courtesy of the New York Academy of Medicine Library.

Right: Cabinet of Curiosities created by Nancy Sakaduski

OCTOBER 20, 2023

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(Continued from page 93) THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Aqua: Tara Sheldon, Karen Laitman, Marce McCollum-Martin, Kathy Wiz, Muriel Hogan, Max Dick, Leslie Sinclair, Debbie Woods, DE State Senator Russ Huxtable, DE State Senator Sarah McBride, Mark Purpura, Matty Brown, Karen Anderson, Brenda Dunn, Linda Kemp, Kim Leisey, Kathy Solano, RB Commissioner Patrick Gossett, Howard Menaker, Terry Isler, David Cusik, Mike DeFlavia, Eric Engelhart, Chris Beagle, Laurie Thompson.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 2) at Aqua: Charles Bounds, Clay Ellis, Matt Shofner, Marvin Miller, J. S. Fauquet, Rob DiMauro, Jose Y., Drew Williams, Jason Babrock, Dan Kyle, Massimo Ballucchi, Mitch Selbiger, Steven Schmidt, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, Esteban Mendoza, Jack Strogus, Matt Larkin, Matt Nelson; 3) at Celebration of Life for David Messina: Kevin Miranda, Lillian, Stephanie Miranda, Adrian Miranda, Bob McCollar, Adam Messina, Ashley Watson, Jeff McCracken, Matt McKinnis, Mark Hunker. ▼ Letters 96

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WE REMEMBER

Daryl Trent Cash Glazer

D

aryl was born July 12, 1961, in Montreal, Canada. He proudly became a US Citizen in 2014, after marrying his husband Chris Yochim, in a relationship that spanned 30 incredible years. Daryl and Chris spent time in Rehoboth and were long-time supporters of CAMP Rehoboth.

In December 1969, when Daryl was eight years old, he stood in the Winners Circle of the famous Hippodrome du Montreal (Blue Bonnets) for the final win of his father’s trotter Poncho Boy. Six months later, Daryl was barrel racing Poncho Boy under saddle at local shows. After completing equine studies at Humber College, he briefly contracted with movie studios, providing horses for the film industry in Canada, while also training and competing in the Hunter Jumper riding circuit.

During his racing career, Daryl was associated with several harness racing stables, first in Canada, followed by a move to Freehold, New Jersey, and the US Racing Circuit in 1990. In 2003, in partnership with his husband Chris, Daryl moved to the Delaware Circuit.

One of his most memorable achievements occurred on a frigid night in January 2010, when their beloved homebred, Early Shirley, set the US record at Dover Downs, beating all the boys.

Their proudest achievement came in 2015 when their beloved stallion, Mondello, won the Delaware Sire Stake two-year-old Trotting Final. Daryl and Chris were likely the first LGBT couple

John F. Benton

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ever to own, train, and win this prestigious championship.

Chris and Daryl met at a Sunday Tea Dance at the Raven in New Hope on Columbus Day, 1994. By February they were a couple, with a memorable first date at Garden State Park Race Track in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. The relationship continued and in 2003 Daryl and Chris purchased their farm, Easy Rider Stable, in Parkesburg, Chester County, Pennsylvania. Together, they began a small breeding program that included Standardbred race horses and Warmblood show horses for dressage.

Daryl loved riding and competing in local shows, and his knowledge of pedigree produced many outstanding prospects.

Daryl enjoyed mentoring and was a stand-out instructor, helping other equestrians.

After being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in March 2023, Daryl achieved remission following treatment at Helen Graham Cancer Center at Christiana Care. He was then approved to undergo bone marrow transplant at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, he passed away from complications on Thursday, September 28.

In his final hours, Daryl was able to watch his youngest two-year-old Delaware Sire Stakes filly, La Bella Mondello, race at Harrington. He watched with tears of joy and sadness, well aware that all his future dreams would go unfulfilled.

Daryl is survived by his husband of 30 years, Chris Yochim Parkesburg, Pennsylvania; their beloved dogs, Bacchus and Dauphine; and a stable of horses. In this world, very few people have affected so many human and equine lives in such a positive and life-affirming way as Daryl. May his memory be a blessing to all who loved him.

A Celebration of Life will be held Friday, October 27, at Kennett Square Country Club, from 6:00-8:00 p.m. Friends planning to attend please RSVP to easyriderstable.com.▼

nexpectedly, with his husband and life partner, David Briggs, at his side, John passed away after a short illness on September 20, 2023. John, along with David, was a long-time resident of Arlington, Virginia, and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

John was born October 24, 1950, in Hopewell, Virginia. Following graduation from the Robins School of Business at the University of Richmond in 1971, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Administration and Economics, he relocated to Washington, DC, where he held increasingly senior positions at the Public Health Service, the General Services administration, the Department

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of the Treasury, and the Internal Revenue Service.

Beginning in 2001, John achieved his career love: working for the Smithsonian Institution. For many years, he was Associate Director for Management and Public Programs at the National Air and Space Museum, retiring in 2013. Following his retirement, he was asked to return to the Smithsonian multiple times, including as Deputy Undersecretary for Finance and Administration for the Institution. In January 2020, he was asked to step in as Interim Associate Director at the National Zoological Park. When COVID struck the following month, he saw his responsibilities radically change to ensuring that the zoo could properly

WE REMEMBER

care for and support its varied animal collection. John fully retired at the end of May 2020.

Retirement was never in John’s persona, however. In civic life, he most recently was a member of the Board of Trustees of the Arlington Community Foundation and the Board of Directors of Signature Theatre and was active on the Community Advisory Council of the Arlington Free Clinic, where he had previously been Board chair.

The arts being his passion, John lent his talents and skills to many arts organizations. Over the years, he served on the Boards, in various positions, of the Arlington Commission for the Arts, the Arlington Metropolitan Chorus, the Bowen-McCauley Dance Company, and the Federal City Performing Arts Association (aka Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington).

In 2020, he was appointed by Virginia’s Governor to the Board of the

Science Museum of Virginia, where he served until his death as Chair of its Finance Committee.

A proud Spider, his love for his alma mater, the University of Richmond, was unwavering. He served as co-chair of his 50th Anniversary Reunion Committee and was most recently elected to the University’s Alumni Board.

John and David had called Rehoboth Beach their long time get-away place for many years, often welcoming guests to one of their homes for a meal, or as a retreat from the more hectic life of Washington, Richmond, or Boston. John and David have been supporters of CAMP Rehoboth and its mission from its earliest days.

John is survived by his loving husband, David, with whom he shared 45 years as partners and 10 years of marriage; many extended family members; and countless friends, former colleagues, and community members in the Washing-

DELAWARE HOSPICE AT SAINT FRANCIS

ton, DC metropolitan area, Richmond, and Rehoboth Beach.

Services celebrating John’s life will be held on October 28, 2023, at 2:00 p.m., at First Baptist Church of Washington, DC, 1328 16th Street, NW, Washington, DC, and on November 11, 2023, at 2:00 p.m., at River Road Church (Baptist), 8000 River Road, Richmond, Virginia. His ashes will be interred in River Road’s columbarium.

In lieu of flowers, contributions in John’s memory may be made to the “Benton-Briggs Endowed Fund for the Arts” of The Fund for Arlington Arts at the Arlington Community Foundation. The Fund for Arlington Arts was set up by John and David to support and advance the welfare and missions of the nonprofit arts in Arlington. Donations may be made by mail or through the Foundation’s home page at arlcf.org. ▼

Hospice Care in Wilmington NOW OPEN

BENEFITS FOR LOVED ONES • 24/7 Expert Care • Home-Like Setting • Respite Stays Call 302-478-5707 to refer a loved one today

OCTOBER 20, 2023

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August 9, 2019 Volume 29, Number 11 camprehoboth.com

June 28, 2019 8 Volume 29, Number m camprehoboth.co

Advertising in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth pays off.

CALL TRICIA MASSELLA AT 302-227-5620 or email tricia@camprehoboth.com for more information!

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CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Opportunities VOLUNTEER APPRECIATION PARTY

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11 issues of LETTERS from CAMP Rehoboth by first class mail.

Plan to attend the Volunteer Appreciation Party from 4:00 to 6:30 p.m. on Friday, November 17. Any and all volunteers who have contributed to CAMP Rehoboth’s special events, fundraisers, programs, or advocacy initiatives are invited to join us by registering online at camprehoboth.org/volunteers.

CROP: CAMP REHOBOTH OUTREACH PROGRAM The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) is constantly working to cultivate community and strengthen relationships and the connection between us all. Check the site for monthly volunteer opportunities.

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thank you ADVOCACY TEAM Daniel Bruner Leslie Ledogar Sherri McGee ARTS TEAM Logan Farro Jane Knaus Lois Powell Leslie Sinclair Patricia Stiles Debbie Woods CAMP DATABASE Sondra Arkin CAMP LIBRARY Glenn Lash CAMP MAINTENANCE Carol Brice Eric Korpon CAMPCIERGES Barbara Breault Ken Currier Bob Grant

Jim Mease Kim Nelson Patricia Stiles Russell Stiles Joe Vescio

CAMP REHOBOTH THEATRE— RAINCHECK Julie Blake Deb Bricker Rick Dietz Lissa Dulany David Garrett Karen Laitman Marce McCollum-Martin Deb Quinton Rochelle Parks Larry Rosen Teri Seaton Kelly Sheridan Russell Stiles CAMPSAFE CONDOM STUFFING PARTY Mark Eubanks Jim Mease

Barry Moshinski Doug Sellers Joe Vescio

CAMPSAFE HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING Tom Chaplin E.J. Kenyon Mike Merena Alan Spiegelman Joe Vescio CAMPSHOTS PHOTO VOLUNTEERS Tony Burns Geri Dibiase David Garrett Fay Jacobs CHORUS LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE Bill Fuchs Dianna Johnston Carolyn Laurenzo Judy Olsen Gloria Richards

Dave Scuccimarra Travis Stevens

CROP AT FOOD BANK Kris Aulenbach Christopher Cossette Karen DeSantis Richard Dietz Robert Grant Daphne Kaplan Chip Logan Sherri McGee Steve Scheffer CROP USHERS AT CAMP CHORUS ENSEMBLE CONCERT Karen Anderson Barbara Breault Kathy Board Brenda Dunn Kathleen Lehmann Jackie Maddalena Marce McCollum-Martin Valerie McNickol Sherri McGee

to all the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Volunteers for the period: September 8-October 6, 2023

Sharon Morgan Carol K. Psaros Carol Scileppi Debbie Woods DOGFISH DASH Donna Becker Mary Boggi Debbie Cali Donna Jaconi Maryann Martinelli Claire McCracken Tracy Mosley Sue Mueller Deb Murray Deb Small GRANTS COMMITTEE Leslie Calman Kate Cauley David Garrett John Roane Leslie Sinclair

LETTERS DISTRIBUTION TEAM Todd Hacker Glenn Lash Jim Mease

REHOBOTH BEACH BEAR WEEKEND Jim King Marce McCollum-Martin

LETTERS MAILING TEAM Nancy Hewish Grant Kingswell Vicki Martina Stephen Palmer Linda Yingst

VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE Jim Mease Kim Nelson Rina Pellegrini Leslie Sinclair John Michael Sophos Debbie Woods

LETTERS PROOFING Barb Ralph MEMBERSHIP TEAM Jane Blue Ann Evans

OCTOBER 20, 2023

101 Letters

AD INDEX 1776 Steakhouse...................................................43 Accent On Travel....................................................17 Activ Pest Solutions................................................35 AG Renovations......................................................95 Atlantic Jewelry......................................................33 Atlantic View Hotel.................................................39 Beach View Hotel...................................................41 Beebe Healthcare..................................................23 Brandywine Urology Consultants...........................15 Brandywine Valley SPCA........................................91 bsd..........................................................................21 Café Azafrán...........................................................57 CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsors.........................12 CAMP Rehoboth Development................................7 CAMP Rehoboth Letters Subscription................. 101 CAMP Rehoboth Membership................................88 CAMP Rehoboth Theatre........................................11 CAMPsafe...............................................................28 Caroline Huff, Artist................................................19 Chris Beagle Group, Realtors.................................13 Clear Space Theatre...............................................34 Coho’s Market & Grill..............................................49 Country Lawn Care.............................................. 102 County Bank...........................................................87 Delaware Community Foundation.........................75 Delaware Hospice..................................................99 Delaware Symphony..............................................55

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Diego’s Bar Nightclub............................... 61, 62, 63 Dogfish Head.........................................................45 Donna Whiteside, Realtor......................................24 Fifth Avenue Jewelers............................................73 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant................ 67, 103 Gay Women of Rehoboth.......................................74 go fish go brit.........................................................74 Hugh Fuller, Realtor................................................50 Humane Animal Partners Delaware.......................76 Jack Lingo, Real Estate..........................................81 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.................................13 Jolly Trolley............................................................43 Just In Thyme Restaurant.......................................19 Lana Warfield, Realtor............................................41 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, Realtors........................83 Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal.....................29 Lori’s Café..............................................................65 Loves Liquors.........................................................35 Maplewood Dental Associates...............................74 MERR Institute........................................................57 Milton Theatre........................................................38 New Wave Spas......................................................46 Olivia Travel..............................................................9 Purple Parrot..........................................................51 PWW Law................................................................87 Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Realtors..............85 Rehoboth Art League.............................................41

Rehoboth Beach Bears...........................................77 Rehoboth Beach Dental.........................................95 Rehoboth Beach Museum......................................57 Rehoboth Guest House..........................................43 Rigby’s Bar & Grill...................................................59 Saved Souls Animal Rescue...................................29 Sea Bova Associates, Realtors............................ 104 Springpoint Choice.................................................47 State Farm - George Bunting.................................73 State Farm - Jeanine O’Donnell/Eric Blondin.........43 Stuart Kingston Gallery..........................................25 Sussex Family YMCA..............................................46 The Joe Maggio Group, Realtors...........................95 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead..............................49 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting..................80 Towers Comedy 2023 Festival...............................37 Troy Roberts, Realtor..............................................19 Unfinished Business...............................................76 Village Volunteers..................................................76 Volunteer Opportunities...................................... 101 Volunteer Thank You........................................... 101 Windsor’s Flowers..................................................41 Zane Jones, Realtor...............................................39

OCTOBER 20, 2023

103 Letters

LINDA BOVA

BRIDGET BAUER

BROKER-ABR®

ASSOC. BROKER-REALTOR®

CELL

CELL

302-542-4197

CAMELOT MEADOWS Rehoboth. 2001 Commodore 3BR/2BA home has formal LV & family room. Big kitchen.

Community pools & just 3.5 miles to beach. $155,000 (2046172) Lot Rent $927/mt.

CAP’T GRANT - Millsboro.

2002 4BR/2BA 1,404sf Class C home on 0.37 ac.

Oversized 12’x20’ shed.

Nearby marinas & 15 miles to the Rehoboth boardwalk. $315,000 (2045944)

CONCH CAYE - Milford.

1952 renovated 3BR/1BA 980sf “cottage” on 0.45 ac lot. East of Hwy 1 w/easy access to Dover & beaches. $239,000 (DEKT2021492)

Pam Schaefer 302-388-8299 cell

302-245-0577

SUN RETREATS - Millsboro.

Water views! 2BR/1BA 2019 Skyline Park Model w/ enclosed porch. Nice kit.

Big bath. FP in LV. Marina, pool & more. $135,000 (2047026) Seasonal 4/15-10/31

UNDER CONTRACT IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS

(2047884)

ANGOLA BEACH - Lewes.

Remodeled 1973 3BR/2BA home is 970sf. Large Shed.

Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. 169,000

(2049518) Lot Rent $665/mt. includes water & sewer

(2049050)

(2049520) Lot Rent $665/mt. includes water & sewer

(2041516) Lot Rent $937/mt.

SAWGRASS SOUTH - Rehoboth Beach. This 3-story townhousestyle condo has 4BR/3.5BA & its own private elevator. 3,340 sq. ft. includes the heated 4-season porch on the 2nd floor. The living room & the porch share a see-thru gas fireplace. The living room adjoins the dining area. Gourmet kitchen w/granite counters.

Den or home office. Main bedroom has FP, sitting area & tray ceiling. 1st floor suite w/living room.

Patio & balcony. 1-car garage. Community pool & more. 6 miles to the beach & boardwalk. $714,900

LOCHWOOD - Lewes. Waterfront on Burton’s Pond. New Construction - November Delivery. 3BR/2BA home is a 1,640 sq. ft. one-level rancher w/2-car garage. Open concept floor plan. Great room opens to the kitchen & dining area. Sliding glass door out to the big 12’x16’ deck.

Main bedroom suite has a walk-in closet & elegant bath with a 5’x4’ tiled “curbless” shower. Split bedroom plan. Luxury vinyl plank floors throughout w/tile in the baths. Quartz & stainless steel kitchen appliances. $429,900

ANGOLA BEACH - Lewes.

Remodeled 1984 3BR/2BA home is 980sf. Big porch.

Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. 165,000

SUSSEX WEST - Lewes.

2002 3BR/2BA. 1,454sf home w/1-car oversize garage on corner lot. Large deck.

Indoor community pool & 6 miles to beach. $165,000

S A ND Y B RA E - L ewe s .

Remodeled 1995 5BR/3BA. High end finishes throughout!

1/3 acre lot. Just 6 miles to the boardwalk. $589,000 (2048035) Theresa Cappuccino cell 609-515-5820

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth Beach. 1978 3BR/2BA doublewide. Split BR plan. Extra parking. Shed. Community pool. Just 4 miles to the beach. $109,900 (2039994)

Lot Rent $563/mt.

SEA AIR - Rehoboth.

2020 Champion 3BR/2BA doublewide home is on a corner lot. This home has exquisite finishes! $280,000 (2027444) Lot Rent $689/mt.

Luz Escobar cell 302-260-2080

20250 Coastal Highway - Suite 3, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971  302-227-1222 office www.SEABOVA.com 

EMAIL – RealEstate@SEABOVA.com

Office Independently Owned & Operated by SBA, Inc. Prices, promotions & availability subject to change without notice. *A/C Active/Under Contract -- Accepting Back-Up Offers