campus august 2012

AUGUST 2012 Dedicated to everybody in the universe but Emad Met’eb.

Don’t let anything stop you

CONTENTS

IN THIS ISSUE

Feature 10 Memoirs of a Doctor 14 The Goddamn Particle Vs Shar3 Allah Underscore 16 Mind Your Own Business 18 Going Bald 20 High-class Harassment 22 The Short Road to Obsession Center Stage 24 Safi

The Gay Section 52 Be Human The Green Passport 54 Algeria: A Diamond in the Rough Screens, Shelves and Speakers 58 How Hollywood Irrevocably F*cked the Female Mind 62 Forever 27 Balls 62 So Much for Fairplay

Opinionated 28 I Do Not Enjoy Ramadan... and I think that’s OK 30 The Philosophy of Max Payne Barenaked 34 High on Body Fat Patterns 40 Trends 42 Fashion Bulletin 44 3al Canvas: Bringing Art to Your Day-toDay Life 46 Made in Egypt Reader Interview 48 Our Nudist Reader!

1 JUNE 2012 CAMPUS

1

Chairman Shady Sherif

Editor-in-Chief Louis Greiss

Creative Director Leila Tapozada

Editors

Wessam Sherif Yasmine Zohdi

Junior Editor

Youssef Saad Eldin

Business Development Ismaeel Khoudeir

Senior Media Executive Zeina El Alfy

Media Executive Ghada Zayed

Financial Manager Ehab A. Aziz

AUGUST 2012

Chief Accountant Sherif El Haggar

Accountant Ahmed Serag

Office Manager Sylvia Peter

Office Assistants Ibrahim Mansour Mohamed Eid

IT Manager Ahmed Saher

Production Executive Manager Sherif Mahmoud Mahmoud El Araby

Distribution Manager Shazly Eid

Distribution

Abdelhamed Fathy Ashraf Ramadan Gamal Moustafa Ramy Afifi Ragab Fathy Aly Afifi Waleed Gilani Abdel Aziz Abdel Rahman Mahmoud Samir

Art Director Ahmed Saad

Graphic Designers Bassem Raafat

Writers & Contributors

Ahmed Amin Ali Al Taweel Amy Quotb Hend Ghorab May Kamel Mohammed Gamal Muhammed Abdel Aaal Ghonaim Sarah Elkerdani Sherif Elmashad Sherif Hassan Summer Nazif

Cover Credits Nora El Gazzar

CTP & Printing

Sahara Printing Company

Campus Magazine's Address 24 Abdelmenim Riyad St. Mohandiseen Tel: 3749 8730/3 Fax: 3749 8736

Emails

mail@core-publications.net info@core-publications.net customerservice@core-publications.net sales@core-publications.net

Heliopolis

69, Adidas (El-Marghany), Africana Café, C&CO (Horreyya St- El Korba), Belino Café, Blueberry (Ard El Golf ), Beano's Café (British Council – El Korba – Airport – British University), Charleston Café, Cortigiano, Café Mo, Cairo International Airport, Coffee Roastery, Colors, Cat, Diwan Bookstore, Diadora, Desire, Every Man’s Bookstore, Farah Café , Flower Market, G Live, Genga Café, Gelateria Roma Café, Harris Café, Gallery Bel3araby (El Nozha St.), House Café , Hope Flowers, Hot Pink, In Flower, Hyper Original, Khodier, Rosso Cafe, IIPennello Ceramic Café, Kan Zaman Restaurant, Le Rince, Linea, La Cassetta Retaurants, Makani, McDonalds, Mobil Mart, Mori Sushi (Salah Salem), Milk, Musicana (El Korba), Munchies Café, No Name, Nuts @ Nuts, Occo, One 4 all, Polka Dolka, Pottery Café, Schatz Café, Smart Gym (Sheraton & Ard El Golf), Roma Café, Shell Mart, Salah Beauty Salon, STR8, Spicy, Style Gym, Tres Bon, Up 2 Date, Viking Cafe, World Gym, Waffle Point, Zein, L’Aubergine

Nasr City

Adidas(Genina mall), Aroma Lounge (City Stars), Beano's Café (City stars – Makram Ebeid – Abbas El Akkad), Beka, Calvin Klein Jeans (City Stars), Casper & Gambini's, C&Co (City Stars – Geneina Mall), Esprit (City Stars), Farah Café (Geneina Mall), Le Gourment Marche, Kenouz Restaurant, ISI (City Stars), Martino, McDonalds (Abbas el Akkad), Musica (Abbas el Akkad), My Day Cafe, Pascucci Café, Ravin, Spicy (City Center - Geneina Mall) ,Virgin Megastore

Mohandiseen

Adidas/Timberland (Lebanon Street, Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Beano's Café (Gameat El Dowal Street), Beau Jardin Café, Bershka (Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Café Mo, Cedars café , C& Co, Café Bean (Aswan Sq.), Cocolina (Syria Street), Ciccio Café, Cilantro, Mohamed El Sagheer, Cocolina, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Diwan, Eventya Flowers, Laguna Café, L`Aroma Café, Makani, Marsh Café, McDonalds, Mori Sushi, Multi Stores, Non Bookstore, Pasqua Café, Quick24, Renaissance Library, Safari Café, Samia Alouba, Silviana Heach, Solitaire Café, Shoe Room, Scoop Café, Second Cup, Spectra, Spicy, Sports Café, Tommy Hilfiger, Toy Story, Trianon Café, Tornado Café, Volume One, Zarina, Zee Lounge, P 75, Al Dar, Café De Fiori

Downtown & Mokattam

AUC Bookstore, Beano's Café, Beymen, Cilantro, Maktabet El Balad, McDonalds (Tahrir), Balady

Dokki

Ahl Cairo, Adidas, Beano's Café (British Council), Coffee Roastery, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Mr. Joe, Makani, Korista Café, Momento, La Boutique, Orange, Quick24, Retro, Spicy, Tabasco, Zein, Zarina

Zamalek

Al Akhbar Bookstore, Arabica, Beano's Café, Coffee Bean, Cilantro, Cocolina, Crave, Diwan Bookstore, Euro Deli, FDA, 69, Gardenia Flowers, Goal, Googan Bookstore, Kodak Express, L'Aubergine, Makani, Mezza Luna, Mobil Mart, Mohamed El Sagheer, Mori Sushi, Munchies, Orangette, Tabasco, Quick 24, Ravin’, Romancia Bookshop, Sequoia, WIF, Zamalek Bookshop, Van Gogh Bookshop, Zafir

Maadi

Adidas, Adam Bookstore, Arthur Murray, Bakier Stationary, Bander Café, Beanos, Beau Jardin, Books & Books, Beta Bookshop, Bookspot, Caj, Euro Deli, Cat, Condetti, Chilis, Coffee Roastery, Gengra Café, Greco, Costa Coffee, El Shader, Dunes Lounge, Ghazala Stationary, Green Mill, Gudy, Kotob Khan, Kiwi, Honest Bookshop , I Spot , La Gourmandise, Makani, McDonalds, Mediterraneo Restaurants, Reebok, Renaissance Library, Rigoletto, Samia Alouba, Second Cup, Shell Shop, Shoe Room, Spectra,The Bakery, Timberland, Volume One

October City

Beano's, Byblos Café (Dandy Mall), Café Mo, McDonalds, Mexicana Café, Mori Sushi (Dandy Mall), Second Cup, Shell Shop, Solitaire, Sans Soucis Café, Trianon

El Rehab & Fifth Settlment

Food Court (Le Reve Grand Café, Jounich Café, Gauchos Café, Mercato Italiano), AUC Bookstore

Giza & Haram

Beano's, Dar El Shorouk, Mexicana Café, Polo Shop

Alexandria

24Seven Café, Adidas & Timberland (Syria st, - City Center), Banna Stationary, 24/7 Café, Adidas/Timberland, Banna Stationary, Beano's, Cillomo Café, C&CO, Cilantro, Coffee Roastery, Deekom, Mazaya, McDonalds, Quiksilver, The Sixties Café, Tamarin Center, Rapo

Tanta

Axon, Pizza Station, La Plato Café

EDITOR’S NOTE

I’ve seriously worked my ass off on this issue, so I honestly have neither the energy nor the mental capacity to write an editor’s note. So please pretend that this is a super witty, brilliantly written editor’s note.

“Ba7eboko koloko.”

4 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

EDITOR’S NOTE

We are what we leave behind.

FLESH AND BONES DECOMPOSE; THE SOUL ENDS UP IN THAT MYSTICAL PLACE NO ONE REALLY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT… IT’S ONLY WHAT WE LEAVE BEHIND THAT STAYS.

It’s true that Naji Al-Ali has harshly left this world before Hanthala could grow up, and before anyone could see his face, but the boy – as he first drew him and in his continued state of refusal – still inspires millions, and remains an integral part of their struggle.

Books, children, words of wisdom we told a friend, scraps of paper, pairs of shoes, old cassette tapes… little bits and pieces that tell the story of who we were.

And this, I believe, is what it’s all about; leaving behind something – or someone – that matters.

But there’s no greater achievement than that of creating something, and living through it long after you’re gone.

A poem, a painting, a film, a building, a machine the whole world comes to depend upon… or a 10-year-old boy with springy hair and hands clasped behind his back in defiance, his shoulders slumped under the weight of his sadness; a burden a child should never have to carry.

Hanthala is what Palestinian caricaturist Naji Al-Ali left behind, to remind the world of the cause he lived and died for.

He first drew the boy in 1969, he was killed in 1987, and today, in 2012, Hanthala remains a symbol of unwavering resistance.

When asked about Hanthala once, Naji Al-Ali said, “He was born 10 years old, and he will always be 10 years old. The laws of nature do not apply to this boy; he is unique. It is at that age that I left Palestine, and only when Hanthala goes back will he start growing up. Only when the homeland returns can things go back to their natural order.”

Hanthala hadn’t always had his hands clasped that way, though. He first clasped them in 1973, in stubborn rejection of the negotiations that the fight to regain the land had been reduced to, and the concessions that were being made.

“He refuses compromises; he will have no half-solutions. He is a revolutionary.”

Although he said that of Hanthala, that statement might as well have been about Naji Al-Ali himself. He, being driven out of his hometown during the ‘nakba’ in 1948 (just like Hanthala, who he says ‘symbolizes his lost childhood’), was a radical who resented the enemy that occupied his land, the imperialistic forces that supported it, the hypocritical organization representing the ‘resistance’, and the negligence of Arab leaders – Palestinian included. In turn, he made powerful enemies on all fronts, spent most of his years in exile, and paid his life as a price for upholding his beliefs.

On July 22nd, 1987, Naji Al-Ali was shot a few steps away from the London office of the Kuwaiti newspaper where he worked. He died five weeks later, on August 30th. To this day, no one knows who fired the bullet; whether it was the Israeli intelligence or the Palestinian Liberation Organization, of which he was a harsh critic.

“Hanthala gives his back to the world in resignation. No one will ever see his face until his people reclaim their dignity and find their freedom.”

It’s the 25th anniversary of his death, and here I am, writing about him, still wondering what Hanthala’s face looked like in his head. I learned about the Palestinian struggle through cartoons of that barefoot boy; I saw him spray-painted on walls around Cairo as our own people revolted; I wear him on a bracelet I bought in Beirut.

They may have managed to kill the man, but he lives on through his legacy – still standing strong, still determined, still 10 years old.

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This is for Naji Al-Ali and for Hanthala; for men who stay true to their cause and the legacies that immortalize them.

SECTION

Memoirs of a Doctor: Part I

By Dr. Ali AlTaweel

10 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

THIS ISSUE, WE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THE ORDEAL OF BEING A DOCTOR IN EGYPT, BUT THEN WE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF WE LET A DOCTOR TALK ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE HIMSELF. WHAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO READ IS THE FIRST OF 2 PARTS OF DR. ALI ALTAWEEL’S MEMOIRS. THIS PART WAS WRITTEN ON THE 19TH OF SEPTEMBER 2009, AND COVERS DR. ALI’S EXPERIENCE IN MEDICINE SCHOOL, WHILE THE OTHER PART WILL COVER HIS EXPERIENCE AS A RESIDENT AT AL KASR AL AINI HOSPITAL. 11

]FEATURE ]

PROLOGUE I remember when I was in England, only a boy of five when my mother wasn’t feeling her best and was taken to hospital. I remember how much I cried that night and no matter how many times my father told me that she would be alright, part of me sought more than merely whether she was alright or not; I wanted to know what was wrong with her, and again, my father’s answer of “Mummy’s a bit ill” would not satisfy. I believe that night I decided that I would become a doctor, not only to help people, but to understand why do we, as humans, suffer? Why do we become ill?

That idea was also fueled by the fact that my father, who has always been my greatest hero, is a successful surgeon.

Years went by and I found myself coming to Egypt. After suffering a five year cultural shock (although God knows I suffer still) I start to see Egypt as it is, not as how I imagined it to be. Being a doctor in England is something both prestigious and uncommon, while in Egypt, only the former is true (although now I must admit that neither is anymore). The fact that over 1500 doctors graduate from Cairo University each year compared to the 111 doctors that graduate from St George’s (one of England’s largest medicine schools) was not very encouraging. But I was not in it for the glory or fame; I just wanted to help people.

Now I am a man of 24, I’m a medical intern at Cairo University Medical School, I (or we as I should say) are both underpaid and overworked and now I look back and think what if I had applied for something different.

But deep down in my heart I know that I have made the right choice and I would do it all over again, but differently, only to become a better doctor.

I remember the day I got my admission letter as if it were yesterday. That day, as I passed by my mail box, my eyes caught something blue in there. Opening my mail box, there I found it, my 11 year dream in a mail box! “The Faculty of Medicine is happy to inform you that you have been accepted bla bla bla”… I had done it. I opened my dad’s wardrobe and took out one of his doctor’s coats and tried it on… a perfect fit. I took that as a good sign and hoped that one day I would have a coat of my own with “Consultant” embroidered on it.

Chapter I: Dreams have the nasty habit of turning into nightmares About a month later, it was the last day of my holiday. “Tomorrow it begins,” I thought to myself. Needless to say, I hardly got any sleep that night. The following day, my dad asked me: “Do you need a lift?” But I didn’t want a lift, I wanted to do this on my own, every step of the way.

I stopped a taxi and was on my way and finally, there it was… Cairo University Medical School.

I took a deep breath before going through the large green gates and said to myself: “This is it”.

What I saw then could not be described by words, for I did have some expectations, not like a John Hopkins thing, but still, I had some, and I am sad to say none were met. Spread over a large campus were hundreds of doctors; the elder students hanging with their gangs, others smoking -probably acknowledging that they have made a mistake- and some as shocked as I was, for nothing seemed “doctory” about this place. Whether it was the ugly light brown buildings that surrounded the campus, the litter that was nearly everywhere, or cafeteria “Horus” that looked like some cheap rest-house, I don’t know, but this is not what I expected and what was still to happen that day would change my perception of Al Kasr Al Ainy forever.

After pulling myself together and treating myself to a Coke and a bar of Snickers, my determination came back. “Do not judge a book by its cover,” a friend once told me. Checking the schedule that the officials managed to hide somewhere they thought no student would look (bas 3ala meen) I found that there was a physiology lecture due to start in 10 minutes. I managed to find where it was held and as I opened the shabby brown door, a scent of moldy bread and sweat came to my nose. For packed inside the hall that could only accommodate 400 students, were 700-800 students and only 6 Toshiba fans as a source of ventilation. As

12 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

for the moldy bread, that was the smell of the rotting wooden floors and benches that haven’t been changed since this university first opened I suppose.

Thirty minutes later, the lecturer comes in (late of course), picks up the microphone and starts talking medicine. No “sorry I’m late” no introductions, nothing. 10 minutes along the way, the mic goes dead and all that I can see are her lips moving while scribbling something on a small blackboard expecting us to see! A while later, the mic got fixed, and all I heard was “and zis brocess needs ATB. Had fahem haga?” The eerie silence was enough an answer. “Mesh mohem,” was her answer. Putting the mic down and picking up her bag, she left.

I was stunned. Is this how it’s going to be? From that day I swore to never set foot in the lecture hall again and I realized that piece by piece my dream was becoming a nightmare.

I went outside to find many other students equally shocked. I found Ahmed, my brother, having a laugh with his friends. I walked up to him and told him what happened, to find the laughs getting louder!

“Nobody attends lectures little bro, private lessons will start later this week, until then, relax.”

“Don’t they take attendance during each lecture?” I asked, looking concerned.

They laughed even harder this time.

“Look Ali,” said one of my brother’s 6th year friends. “Akbar khed3a fel koleya dee el gheyab.”

I went home later that day, very disappointed, but a small flame of hope was still burning; will these private lessons be as educational as I hoped?

Chapter II: Dead bodies and no way out It was the second week and anatomy sessions had begun. We have two morgues, one on the first floor and the other below ground level, always giving me the feeling that I was entering a tomb. As I approached the morgue, a smell of formalin could be smelt, getting stronger with each step I took. Reaching the doors that led into morgue the smell became unbearable, almost suffocating. My eyes were running with tears and my nose stuffy (for someone who already has allergic rhinitis, this was torture).

Stepping inside the reason to why the smell of formalin was so strong was answered; none of the 9 ventilation fans were working. “You have got to be joking!” I thought. Of course, having signed in there, there was no way I was getting out. “Strict protocol,” the guy who took attendance told me, no getting out until we were dismissed by the professor in charge.

Anyway, having gotten slightly used to the smell, a janitor came in and uncovered the sheets covering the cadavers. Now I’ve seen dead people before (not like a 6th sense thing!), but not like this; the sight of the brown, shriveled, dissected bodies neither frightened nor disturbed me, but I felt sorry for the poor blokes. The lecturers came in and each was assigned to one of the five bodies, and assigned to each lecturer was 2535 students! Each one was shoving and pushing to get a closer look. The sight reminded me closely of something I saw on National Geographic where dozens and dozens of vultures were angrily fighting over a dead Thompson gazelle.

“Show the dead some respect!” I wanted to shout. But I knew it was useless, I hae lived in Egypt long enough to know that. Of course, I was only able to see the guy’s toe. Halfway along the lesson the lecturer noticed that we were suffocating (maybe because of all the sniffing sounds) because of the formalin, and he said: “Matestargelo! Bokra tet3awedo 3aleha.”

You’ll build… and get ripped off in the process It was the third week and Biochemistry practical lessons had started.

Now, I had taken AS Chemistry during my IG years and was well acquainted with lab instruments and how to use them and I had always enjoyed those lessons so I was looking forward to this.

The lab wasn’t bad although it could have done with a bit more ventilation. The lecturer explained how to detect for protein in urine and sugars and other stuff. “Now we put 2ml of concentrated sulfuric acid...”

Hang on! Concentrated acid! This was serious.

“Please use the pipettes with care. You have one hour,” she added.

Usually, there’s a rubber suction device that you attach to the pipette to suck liquids, but the thing is, I could only see the pipettes and the CONCENTRATED acid. So I went up to the lecturer and asked, “Excuse me, how do I suck the acid into the pipette?”

“Use your mouth,” she said, as if I was asking a stupid question.

“Pardon?! This is concentrated acid.”

“Yes I know, that’s why I said use the pipettes with care.”

“I see. So you don’t have those rubber things?”

She laughed. “Enta kont feen abl keda ya doctor?”

“Port Said IG.” “Ahlan beek fel Kasr el Ainy.”

“Ahlan behadretek.”

I picked up my bag and I left.

After suffering two big blows to the “I want to be a doctor” dream, physiology and histology began.

Third week, I had histology. Now I must say the lab was well-furnished, good seats and all, but we had two problems: the first one was Hamdy, head of department. The guy was ex-military and was like one of those drill sergeants you see on TV, he would patrol the lab wearing his Pilot Ray-bans. “WE ARE GONNA TEACH YOU MAGGOTS HOW TO USE A MICROSCOPE! YOU WILL EAT, DRINK AND SLEEP EIOSIN AND HEAMATOXYLIN*. YOU THERE FAT BOY WITH GLASSES! YOU CALL THAT FINE ADJUSTMENT, GIVE ME TWENTY!” The 2nd problem was that you have to complete this stupid useless atlas, which contains diagrams of various specimens which you have to draw in another workbook. What exactly are they testing, my copying abilities, or was it my tolerance for dumb ideas? Perhaps it was like that dialogue in that movie “Holes”: “Why Warden, sir, are we in the middle of the desert digging holes all day?” asks one boy.

“It helps to build character,” says the Warden.

Maybe that’s it... character. And here’s the catch, you can’t buy the workbook alone, you have to buy the atlas too, of course, the revenues don’t go to charity... you do the math.

EPILOGUE After the incident that happened on the first day and vowing to never enter the lecture hall again, I didn’t need any convincing to start applying for private lessons. Hence, the question of whom would I trust with my medical career arose. Of course my choices weren’t very diverse and having an elder brother (who was sort of a guinea pig during my six years... respect, brother!) made things quite simple. So my mind

“

“

Chapter III:

was easily made. I hope that one day our university will address the real problem... mainly the quality of teaching and basics like proper ventilation and seating. We don’t want fancy TVs and projectors; we want to be real doctors capable of treating patients in the future.

I am disappointed about the war which our university waged on private lessons and did nearly everything they could to prevent them, like making attendance obligatory or bullshit threats like “hangeeb el emtehan men el mohadarat”. If it weren’t for private lessons there would be no medicine in Egypt.

My deepest respect and gratitude to my professors of that year! (* Eiosin and Heamatoxylin are the two stains used by histologist to dye specimens).

I am disappointed about the war which our university waged on private lessons and did nearly everything they could to prevent them. If it weren’t for private lessons there would be no medicine in Egypt.

13

FEATURE

Does the Higgs Boson Really “Matter”?

The Goddamn Particle Vs. Shar3 Allah.

By May Kamel

L

AST 4TH OF JULY, WHILE AMERICANS WERE LIGHTING UP THE SKY WITH FIREWORKS, AND WE WERE PROBABLY NAGGING ABOUT THE HEAT, RAMADAN AND TRAFFIC, THE EUROPEAN ORGANIZATION FOR NUCLEAR RESEARCH (CERN) HAILED THE DISCOVERY OF THE ELUSIVE HIGGS BOSON PARTICLE, WHICH GIVES MATTER MASS AND HOLDS THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER. As Egyptians, we most certainly did not allow such a revelation to disrupt our oh-so-intact bubbles. But what’s even more interesting is that the word shared the apathy too!

As soon as I read the news, lots of thoughts ran through my head: what in tarnation is this? Are we going to die? Is this ‘Angels and Demons’ – revisited? Again, are we going to die? What do Islamists have to say about that… WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO SAY?! Given that I was not cut out for physics, and hence would most certainly spare myself the hassle of delving into this, I was more hung up on the reaction that we were to expect from the Islamists lama rabena yenfokh fi soret-hom and they got to know about this. How does this change life as we know it? Do we reconsider our beliefs? Is this even true?

What follows is somehow a documentation of my thought process and the accompanying extensive research necessary for me to know what exactly am I panicking over.

CRASH…BOOM…BANG!

Disclaimer: Scientific talk ahead Like me, if you aren’t a physicist, then probably all this Higgs Boson talk might be intimidating you into feeling dumb for not already understanding extremely complicated physics. But I admit my ignorance. Luckily for me, I stumbled upon this pretty cool, physics-to-English translation of this fiasco.

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“Imagine you’re at a Hollywood party. The crowd is rather thick, and evenly distributed around the room, chatting. When the big star arrives, the people nearest the door gather around her. As she moves through the party, she attracts the people closest to her, and those she moves away from return to their other conversations. By gathering a fawning cluster of people around her, she’s gained momentum, an indication of mass. She’s harder to slow down than she would be without the crowd. Once she’s stopped, it’s harder to get her going again.

This clustering effect is the Higgs mechanism, postulated by British physicist Peter Higgs in the 1960s. The theory hypothesizes that a sort of lattice, referred to as the Higgs field, fills the universe. This is something like an electromagnetic field, in that it affects the particles that move through it, but it is also related to the physics of solid materials. Scientists know that when an electron passes through a positively charged crystal lattice of atoms (a solid), the electron’s mass can increase as much as 40 times. The same might be true in the Higgs field: a particle moving through it creates a little bit of distortion -- like the crowd around the star at the party -- and that lends mass to the particle.”

Now with a bit about the history and the mechanics of the process. ‘The Big Bang theory’ is a model used by physicists to explain the creation of the universe. According to this theory, the universe was created billions of years ago when matter and anti-matter collided creating a big bang. To reconstruct the big bang, researchers at CERN built a Large Hardon Collider (LHC). Scientists believe that the Big Bang created the Higgs Boson particle, which in turn led to further events leading to the creation of the universe. Scientists believe that the LHC experiment would produce the Higgs Boson particle. And they were partially right, for the outcome of this research and the ginormous amounts of money spent yielded THE particle.

For those who get easily bored, it’s recommended you start reading from here

Let There Be… Stuff Science aside, we all get it hitherto that the discovery of Higgs Boson means we can have a clearer understanding of how the universe was created. This is, as it has always been called, the God particle... The particle that essentially creates other things by giving them mass and allowing them to be.

And since we’re talking creation, we can’t help but wonder where does that leave the believers, and how are atheists interpreting the findings.

The nickname “the God particle” draws attention to the way in which the Higgs Boson provides evidence for the role of natural processes in the evolution of the universe, processes that do not require the supernatural explanations for creation that human beings have long relied on to

explain our existence. That being said, it’s important to stress on the fact the Higgs Boson neither proves nor disproves God’s existence; it merely demonstrates that God is not necessary for the processes which gave mass to all that exists. Also for the sake of precision, it’s worth mentioning that although the particle behaves like the theorized Higgs Boson, looks like it and presumably smells like it too, according to the strict scientific definition of “certainty”, it’s still too soon to call for sure.

Accepted Wisdom, Anyone?

As with anything, religious people had different opinions regarding this subject. Some were very supportive of the scientific achievement (The Church of England), some were indifferent and some were exclusively uptight about it, rejecting the scientific epistemology to begin with (The Vatican).

Spirituality aside, where do we stand on education, or on technology?

Instead of engaging in positive thought-provoking conversation, what was compelling was the degree to which the majority of people appeared to lack any actual knowledge about the scientific discovery, how it was arrived at, or what the phrase “the God particle” itself was meant to convey. Perhaps this ignorance of scientific methods and findings is unsurprising, but it is still disconcerting.

Tab W E7na?

It is true that the world has turned a blind eye to the whole discovery, yet we, Egyptians, seem to have taken this whole denial thing to a whole new level, where we do not even address it. Although I am not quite sure whether this is soo2 7azz walla lazaza mel akhareen, I can’t coin a solid reaction to the whole issue.

Besides the few Twitter side talks, most of which were basically attempts to decipher the whole Higgs Boson fiasco to begin with, there was no specific collective opinion regarding the subject. More importantly, there was zero media concern. Null. Abyad.

Looking past the whole thing, it’s what did not happen that bothered me the most. Why did we not partake? Why did we not, as a nation, have a say regarding what is thought to be the biggest scientific breakthrough right after the theory of relativity? And had we known, why am I positive that our reaction would have been humiliating to common sense, to say the least?

But what’s done is done. In an ideal world, I would have hoped that this would push us to put things in perspective and help us realize that we are part of this constantly moving world. Science advances pass us by, thanks to our perished educational system, and consequently our thought process itself. Instead of catching up and making use of what’s between our ears, God-given or big-bang-created ba2a, we preoccupy ourselves with ekhtelat, 3awret el mar2a, el khetan w kol el kalam el lazzooz el ento 3arfeeno da. It’s like we socially engineer a fortress to shun ourselves from the world w ne3oom f mayyet el torshy that is our non-existent thought process.

Quite honestly, I would have loved to see this being discussed on talk shows. I would have willingly given my kidney to hear El 3oksh talking about how this is some extraterrestrial, Masonic, 7alazonic conspiracy to get back at the greatness that is Egypt nowadays. And I would have certainly spared my liver masalan to see this being discussed at the parliament. It would have been super rich material for extremists to slash “el gharb el kafer” for attempting to dig into the unknown.

It’s about time we realize that scientific literacy is a major tool in our battle for social change. It’s about time we catch up.

By projection, I would assume reactions to be as follows: moderate Islamists and Christians would praise the efforts, yet they will tout the discovery as evidence of God’s existence, since it makes sense that even if the Big Bang had occurred as per their description, it’s yet an enormous demonstration of the power of an energy which is almost beyond what we can calculate. Accordingly, something must have caused it, and whatever caused it, that’s what’s called The First Cause…

God.

Now that we’re MB-ruled bel salato 3ala el naby, I shall deem this whole Higgs Boson issue la tokhalef shar3 allah. I did my part of the reading so I call the shots here. Next time, do your own reading, Dr. Morsy. This case is forever closed. He3.

Extremists, on the other hand, would have given us something to feast on. They would have probably foul-mouthed whoever wasted the time and money on such discoveries that are so irrelevant, stressing on the fact that we were supposedly already told us we need to know about the world.

And on the issue of Higgs Boson, I do personally do not see it affecting my beliefs. But one thing I’m sure of, is that it made me realize I need to do more proper reading into physics. And when I fail miserably, I shall deem physics the work of the devil and witches. Nyahaha.

P.S. I think it’s only fair to give credit where credit is due. Obi Wan Kenobi saw the Higgs Boson particle coming all the way back in the 70s.

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.”

Moral of the story: Never underrate Star Wars.

Happy Bang, everyone!

15

]UNDERSCORE ]

Mind your own business!

We all have that “7eshary” friend

By Ahmed Amin

“BE NICE!” - THAT’S ABOUT THE MOST DECENT PIECE OF ADVICE YOU GET IN LIFE; KEEP TO YOURSELF, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND IT SHOULD GET YOU FAR IN LIFE. BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, SOME PEOPLE MISSED THAT LESSON, AND AS THE OLD ARABIC PROVERB GOES: “WHEN YOU INTERVENE IN WHAT DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, YOU’LL HEAR WHAT WON’T PLEASE YOU.”

16 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

This specific nosey breed of humanity has been so annoying all across history that proverbs were created for the sole purpose of addressing the inconvenience their existence costs us. And with the ease of social media and networking nowadays, this specimen of individuals has become an inevitable ordeal in our day-to-day, post-to-post and comment-tocomment personal interactions.

Nosey people come in all forms and situations, but there are some common stereotypes. They may not be the same personality yet they always throw around the same questions, and it’s their “serial nosiness” that labels them with these titles and classifications. Some people are curious by nature, others are sick, but it’s those that keep abruptly shoving themselves into your private matters time after time that you can truly refer to as nosey.

The common ones: • The nosey friend, he asks questions in the following fashion: You: I just got a new job, it’s nice, I like it, I hope I’m up for it and will be good, etc.

Mr. Nosey: How much do you get paid?

The nosey friend’s motives are sometimes pure, naïve and just driven by his/her super curious personality; they just want to know more about you to fulfill some question that is flying around in their mind. I’ll assume that they just want to help, since they’re friends and all.

• The nosey neighbor, he sees you dressed up with your wife or wearing a training suit and he will ask this regular: “Where are you going, neighbor?”

This one I could never process; why do they ask? It just incites paranoia in me, thinking that he wants to rob my place and needs to know what window of time he’s getting. I’m never able to assume good of them and I always feel that it’s deliberate.

• The Phone nosey, who is that indigenous person of Phone Call Land, who will appear out of seemingly nowhere to ask the begging question of “What was that about?” or “Who was it ?”.

This type is my arch nemesis, I hate talking on the phone already, so talking about talking on the phone with someone that wasn’t on the other end seems rather crazy to me, and it wins the asker a very chic insult or at best a nice “please f*ck off”.

• The girlfriend tracker: this person will appear randomly when you’re not around and ask your girlfriend questions like “Are you guys going to get married?” or “How did you manage to be together for so long?” When you spot one around your girlfriend, shoot her on sight.

• The object-lover: this type is almost childlike in their approach, making them most annoying and hardest to maneuver around. Their approach revolves around the “object” in your possession, throwing questions like “What’s that piece of paper in your hand?”, “What’s that book about?”, “Is that a new phone? Is it good? How much did you get it for?” They corner you into either answering or shrugging off the question, which usually implies that you’re hiding something or you end up giving up some privacy, which is quite the lose-lose situation to be in.

• The prying eyes: they don’t talk much or ask stupid questions, they just defile you with their nonstop-surveillance approach of looking, abusing your privacy. This is by far the worst kind, because they would do anything that is needed for them to visually dissect you.

• The sit-next-to-you nosey: they just come and sit next to you when you’re alone or with company, making it impossible for you to not feel violated or sense their intrusion into your personal space, tapping into all of the above forms of intrusions; they are truly the masters of nosiness.

They are in your business just as much as you yourself can physically be.

• Those who go through your stuff: they take your phone and go through the messages or open folders on your laptop when they initially asked to check their mail. The sickest and the most deliberate of all, no excuses can be found for these cheap sleazy wastes of oxygen, they’re to be treated firmly as thieves of your life’s details.

Even though those are the main types we meet in our real lives, the virtual world puts them all in a blender and shoots at us a plethora of online privacy abolishment, which in all honesty we are to blame for, since we made our lives bare like that for semi-acquaintances and pseudofriendships. This consequently leaves us with a constant supply of rude comments, wall posts and whatever ingenious ways those people find to stick their noses into our business.

Which leaves us with the pressing question, is it a deliberate action? Are they aware of it? Are we over-reacting?

I thought about this for a while, and came up empty, I even asked people who came my way who are known to be a bit nosey, and I couldn’t reach a conclusion. And in all honesty it doesn’t really matter, they’ll still be there and for positivity’s sake I’ll just assume some people got killed by their curiosity, not just the cats.

Sometimes people just want basic information that is private in our point-of-view, or they’re just concerned, or they don’t acknowledge the same personal barriers as you do. It differs from family members to coworkers, so be careful how you nudge them off their snoopy road and be considerate; what you see as nosey, someone else sees as normal.

What I came up with is a very basic way to tread these tricky paths with the previously mentioned types of people.

• Call them out if you can, just tell them -preferably in an Irish accentthat it’s none of your bloody business, mate.

• Give them a clear BS answer if it’s a question and you can’t or don’t want to call them out. For example, how much do you get paid? A million dollars. They’ll keep asking, and you keep the verbal feces coming, no one likes to be ridiculed or obviously lied to, so this will repel them or make them understand that it’s not a nice thing that they’re doing, not the classiest of methods but it’s effective with these non-classy trespassers.

• Give them a vague answer. Where did you guys go last night?

Somewhere.

• Body language is a strong weapon, utilize it, don’t make them feel welcomed, don’t make a lot of eye contact, act and show that you are disinterested and uncomfortable with their presence and actions, sometimes it’s more effective than verbal communication.

• Throw them off their game! They start asking you about your wedding ring or lack thereof, throw them a compliment on their shirt and act as if you didn’t hear what they said. Changing the subject is sometimes the easiest way to get out, and if they keep coming back then you know they are the deliberately nosey kind and then you can use one of the previously mentioned four methods to get rid of their overly inquisitive and curious existence.

• Run away, not literally, but if you know that someone is a serial snooper you can get out of their way if you see them coming, not the most practical way but sometimes it’s the most time efficient.

• The good old fashion shades and headphones, oops I didn’t see or I just accidentally on purpose ignored you. Perfect for strangers and first time encounters.

At the end of the day, be considerate and don’t obsess, wait until people repeat their behavior before you write them off as nosey, and of course apologize if you deliberately and/or accidentally do it yourself, and stop doing it, and be nice and eat your veggies and drink your milk… etc.

17

By She

rif Elma

shad

How I lo never r st a 100,00 egain 0 hairs that I’ll

Going B ald

UNDERSCORE

18 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

THE COMING LINES ARE ONES I’M QUOTING FROM A FRIEND’S OFFLINE BLOG. I DO BELIEVE THEY’RE HIS MOST PERSONAL EXPERIENCE EVER TO WRITE ABOUT, AND I THINK THEY’RE WORTH A PULITZER, OR AN OSCAR, OR A NOBEL; WHICHEVER IS FINANCIALLY WORTH MORE.

It all went fine till high school. And since we have a very unique educational system, high school meant spending more than half your day in centers listening to private tutors along with more than 20 other people. And with a lot of girls around, I had to resort to using hair gel, as if I could take any more hair damage. And with the “spiky” hairdo, I had an excuse for not having the not-so-thick hair. I got my first girlfriend then, and she asked me to be her date to her prom. It was very distinguished prom as far as I remember, one I ditched because her exboyfriend with commercial-esque hair was attending.

After that came college, the phase in which I realized that the Superman hair is a dream not coming true. I remember that I used to try and embrace the fact that someday I’ll be bald. I started looking around for famous bald people in an attempt to convince myself that maybe things were not as bad as I thought. And through my search, these were some of the bald categories I found: The “Zizou”: The most brilliant of them all. Just a bald spot in the back of your head, with your hair combed forward. It was elegant, it hid the baldness and it can book me a place in history. Well, only if I score a World Cup on my own, or get a red card on a World Cup final.

The Sporty: or as it comes to mind, the Heneidy. In others words, wearing a cap at all times to hide the lack of hair. It always made me think: doesn’t wearing a sports cap 24/7 arouse more questions than actually hiding it? I mean, at night indoors, a girl is bound to ask, “Hey, what are you hiding down there?”

The “3abbas”: you know how they say there’s logic for everything?

Well, this one doesn’t have it. For a very weird reason, most of the bald Egyptian government employees, or mainly people of an older generation, prefer to comb 10-15 hairs through their widely spread area of baldness. The same 10-15 hairs that usually fly up his head whenever a fan is directed at him.

The no shower after today: Bob Marley, you brilliant Jamaican. Anyone can just braid their hair and escape the entire baldness sarcasm charade.

The Musical Hairs: Well, this one was a real killer for me, because I’d rather never shower then to implant my thigh hair in my head. Is it really from your thighs though? I always thought they’d go for your ass hair!

Anyhow, it’s smelly, gross, and honestly, this hair has seen too much actual shit to go up there.

“Since I was a kid, I’ve always been fond of Superman. He was my favorite superhero. With the thick hair, the blue eyes, the red cape, and enough power and sense of justice to be always right. I always wished I’d look like him. As a kid, I had the Clark Kent glasses. I had the red cape, or to be more honest, I had a red towel. But the only thing that was missing was the S shaped stray strand of hair that for some reason never moved even when he was flying at supersonic speeds. It took me years of trying to perfect that strand of hair, till one day, I woke up to find myself looking at a Lex Luthor bald-like head in the mirror. I was completely bald with only a hair or two on my head.

I still remember how it all started. As a kid, my hair wasn’t very thick. I know it’s really hard to notice as a kid, due to all the primitive haircuts parents insist that their kids have while in primary school, but I could tell.

I still remember the terror I had when I woke up to more than 5 hairs on my pillow. For a second there, all the movies of a viral infection spreading, leading to limbs falling, started going through my head as I ran to my mother yelling “MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT!”, and she simply chose to answer me with a calm smile assuring me that this was due to my flipping a lot while sleeping. I still remember the dilemma I faced trying to pin myself during an 8 hour sleep, which is impossible if no strapping is used.

I didn’t have a lot of girl friends at the time, so hair wasn’t really a thing to worry about.

Of course I was too young to go for a toupee, not to mention being both being shy and 100% sure of my friends’ jerkiness and that they’d try to take it off, so I simply had to live with losing the hair on a daily basis. I tried hair products, and in the words of Edison: “I didn’t fail, I now know 999 ways that won’t work.” I tried various different haircuts, all failing miserably. I tried combing it to the side before realizing I looked like a college student from the 1930s. I tried everything, and I took all the sarcasm there is, and All the truly brilliant daily questions of “Are you going bald?” I even took all the heat the sun could throw at me, as if someone had a bet with it that my skin will get roasted before I collapse of a sun stroke.

I took all of this, till one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I held my electric shaving machine, and took every single hair down. In a moment, I willingly decided to take down the only 100,000 hairs I used to own. I wasn’t going to be a Zizou with a bald spot. I wasn’t going to be hiding under a hat guy. I wasn’t a governmental employee or a weird old dude who’s trying to be a kid again. I wasn’t even going to be a Homer Simpson with light hair running all around his head. No, if I wasn’t the Superman I always dreamed of, then I’d become the true opposite of that, I’d become the Lex Luthor. The new Nazi; the new tough guy on the streets. That being said, you’ll have to excuse me, for I have a debt to settle with an ex-girlfriend who when I once told her that her face was radiating like the sun, she answered “And it’ll reflect off your head like the moon? Haha!” And world, someday, you’ll realize dandruff isn’t your biggest fear anymore.”

These were the exact same lines he wrote. I don’t know anything about him for the past year or so. I’ve only heard rumors about new fairies in town that collect hair falling off children’s heads as they flip a lot in their sleep. I’m not sure if he has truly cracked down under the sarcastic pressure society puts on bald people, or how they’re portrayed in movies and drama, but I know one thing for sure, that Cristiano Ronaldo’s hair, which he brags about in shampoo advertisements, isn’t safe anymore.

19

UNDERSCORE

High-Class Harassment

When poverty and illiteracy are not valid excuses.

By Wessam Sherif

NO MATTER HOW DECENT AND WELL-BEHAVED A GUY LOOKS, THERE’S ALWAYS A LUSTY WOLF, CAREFULLY HIDING UNDERNEATH THE NON-THREATENING EXTERIOR. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE, NOT A SINGLE ONE. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT ALL GUYS ARE RAPISTS, I’M JUST MAKING IT VERY CLEAR THAT HARASSMENT COMES IN MORE THAN ONE FORM.

20 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

“

Men are simple. They’re driven by –mostly– instinctual, basic motives.

But that’s where the “simplicity” ends; what goes on inside a man’s head is a different story entirely. Let me first clarify that the sector of the society I’m about to talk about is not the less privileged or impoverished one. I mean to shed light on those who are of an average (or higher) education and belong to middle class families or higher.

ALL guys have one behavioral pattern: when in the company of girls they run a quick, subconscious “hotness” test of each girl, rating them from favorite to least favorite. This even applies to girls who are best friends and those who are referred to as “she’s a sister to me”; no girl is exempted from this assessment. Naturally, many guys refute this. And they’re lying.

So, girls, the odds are: you’ve been thoroughly checked out by every guy you know.

A guy could respond very violently to someone harassing a friend of his, but paradoxically try to get another friend drunk in order to sleep with her and then use the “I was so drunk!” excuse to justify it.

And that’s normal, trust me.

What lies beneath What isn’t normal however is how this instinctual pattern could turn into an obsession for some and become blatant harassment. In other words, how men perceive and react to women of interest is what makes all the difference. For example, one man could look at a woman and think “hot!”, whereas another would think “the things I’d do to her”, and both of them could be friends. See, some guys expand on that latter thought and act upon it with every girl they meet. Those guys make it their goal to get in bed with every girl they find sexually attractive, using whatever sleazy, dishonest measures, and they’ll stop at nothing.

The targeted woman’s approval at that point becomes irrelevant, for these friends/acquaintances are what I call High-Class Harassers; the least suspected but most devious. They’re the guys who’ll take a girl out, wine and dine her, persistently charming her, just to get in bed with her.

They’ll even play on a girl’s emotional state (just got out of a break up, vulnerable, experimental) and they’ll use it shamelessly.

These High-Class Harassers can be friends, new friends or acquaintances; in other words, hiding in plain sight.

The bitter truth?

So what makes a guy who pursues a woman solely for sex any better than a harasser on the street? In fact, a guy could respond very violently to someone harassing a friend of his, but paradoxically try to get another friend drunk in order to sleep with her and then use the “I was so drunk!” excuse to justify it. In a Freudian manner of speaking, for men, everything could (not does) amount to sex, regardless of social status or education. So, again, what makes the person who sugar coats his incognito sexual approaches better than the guy on the street who does it straightforwardly?

Nothing. They both want the same thing, but the tools available to each differ; your “friend” belongs to your same social class, speaks in a familiar tone and could actually have a conversation with you without ogling you like a hungry wolf, all of which are attributes that a random upfront harasser lacks.

Reasons, not excuses And they’re not doing it consciously, it happens due to one of the following reasons:

Desperation: Also known as horniness. Nothing could drive a man towards actually objectifying women to the point of seeing them as “potential hook ups” like losing hope in getting any form of physical interaction. Please note that I did not mention deprivation, because I believe it’s a trigger, not a reason. How many culturally conservative/ sexually deprived (whether willingly or not) retain a decent behavior around women? Plenty. It’s the desperation that drives guys bonkers.

Friends: Nothing can influence a man more than the circles he usually hangs out with. Growing up, guys either have friends who consistently

“

Let’s get the bullshit out of the way first

harass women on the streets, consequently enmeshing the thought that pursuing women just for sex is a morally acceptable notion. And there are those who always brag around their friends about how many women they’ve managed to “score” also inciting others – egoistically – to go have some stories to tell themselves.

Too much sex: Yes, that case is more common than you think. To

some, when they get one girl, they crave more, different girls. It becomes an obsession, literally. One that eventually ruins a guy’s perception of women, making it impossible to actually know how to deal with... you know, non-slutty women.

So where does education, and cultural awareness fit in the aforementioned? Nowhere. These kinds of guys have dealt with women most their lives and a lot of them have had what could be referred to as a moderate upbringing, and they’ve have had girlfriends with a certain level of intimacy. I’m not saying that education or awareness don’t make a difference, I’m saying that a moral code is what this class of “harassers” lack, and that is not something you can teach. And that’s where the woman’s response becomes crucial.

Not so smart

I won’t underestimate women’s intelligence and try to point out how to identify one of these guys, because -most of the time- women can already tell who wants want. I mean, they’ve been trained all their lives -the hard way- to deal with these kinds of opportunists. But nevertheless, some girls do enjoy the attention and actually toy with the guy before setting him off on his merry way in disappointment, which in turn pushes him towards another, potentially less cunning, girl. Heck, some women actually like that game so much that they end up actually getting attached to the guy, consequently giving him what he wants.

What I know for sure is, girls will always know what a guy wants, and a man’s success depends on whether or not they actually allow him to score points. So even if they don’t seem to see through it, they do.

A word from a harasser That in turn brings me to another very important point, one that could actually demolish this article’s thesis entirely. The following was brought to my attention by a friend that I considerd to be a High-Class Harasser: Is it actually considered harassment? If a girl actually sees through the guy’s ways and either chooses to play along or snub him, how could it be considered harassment? Harassment entails, actually annoying someone or imposing something upon them. So now do we still deem this as harassment, or an implicit socially acceptable mean by which young, horny adults fornicate, no societal/cultural strings attached?

Food for thought.

21

UNDERSCORE

The

Short

Ladies and gentlemen, my very own battle with depression…

Obsession

I reached a point where I was ashamed of my parents and myself. I never thought any guy would ever be interested in me. Why would he when even I hated myself? The simple act of ordering food by phone or showing up to an event felt like Mission Impossible. The saddest part is that millions of kids around the globe go through the same crap everyday, and there’s only too little to be done about it. When my parents decided to step up and end this destructive friendship, I despised them, but not for long. I now think that it was one of the smartest and bravest decisions they ever made. Without their intervention, who knew when and how I could’ve survived all the abuse!Fragile, insecure and miserable were the three words that described me best. I thought at the time that my life couldn’t get any worse, but boy, was I in for a surprise.

Roadto

By Sarah Adel Elkerdani

W

HEN SOMEONE HAS A WORK PROBLEM, THEY SAY “I’M DEPRESSED”. WHEN SOMEONE FIGHTS WITH THEIR SPOUSE, THEY GO “I’M DEPRESSED”. WHENEVER A CHILD GETS BAD GRADES, THE PARENTS GET DEPRESSED. BUT DO ANY OF THEM UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT WORD REALLY MEANS? WELL, I DO, BECAUSE I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION AT AGE 16, AND MY PARENTS WILL CONTINUE TO ARGUE WITH ME FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE FOR SPEAKING ABOUT IT PUBLICLY. 22 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

I had extremelylow self-esteem growing up, even though my parents did their utmost by raising me to be outgoing, confident and sure of myself. I think their only mistake (which they thankfully fixed later) was not paying attention to the crowd I hung out with, which had the most effect in how I turned out to be during my teen years.

Bullying comes in various forms, and I can’t claim that students in school hallways beat me up. However, I experienced a psychological form of bullying, which can be just as bad. My close circle at that time made sure I perceived myself as ugly, not good enough and a loser. They mocked everything I said and did, and so I started to gradually agree with them.

At this age, it is not an option to listen to your parents, because your friends will always know better and what’s best for you. I felt like I’d be totally lost if I got kicked out of that circle. What would I be without them and that constructive criticism of theirs that tore me down to pieces?

It was one sunny day, and I was playing with my dog in our balcony when a religious family member asked me: “How do you pray after playing with your dog like that?”

Me: “I just do the regular ablution and pray”

and one of them using sand.”

Me: “But why?”

Family member: “That’s the way it is. Also, did you know that angels never enter a house with a dog in it?”

Me: “Why?” Family member: “Because it’s an impure animal that angels don’t like.”

The result, another word found its way to me and it was the only word that at the time described me best… Obsessed! This is a mighty word.

Too mighty that several other words fall under it: fragile, insecure, DEPRESSED, fanatical, possessed, consumed… etc. I’m not trying to accuse that relative of giving me Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which I was also diagnosed with later. But, he definitely triggered it by giving me my first obsession, which was making sure I was pure, so God would accept my prayers. And no, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is not worrying whether you locked your car or house nor is it the fear of germs and microbes. It has so many forms and one person may have several obsessions and compulsions.

OCD is an anxiety disorder in the form of a plague of undesirable, annoying and repeated thoughts, feelings and ideas (obsessions) that urge you to do irrational behaviors (compulsions). People who suffer from that disease are perfectly aware that those thoughts are ridiculous, but the only way to stop them is by doing what they ask you to. There is no choice here, because if you decide to not listen, you start suffering from great anxiety. And when you do listen, the satisfaction is very temporary.

Oh, and this is a never-ending process!

At first, it started with washing every part of my body 7 times with soap and disinfectants (as a substitution for sand)! After a while, I realized that I’ve been spending 45 minutes in ablution five times a day! I’d get out of the bathroom crying in frustration every time. I used toilet paper to open doors because my parents must have touched the doorknobs and the doorknobs would consequently be impure, because they must’ve

touched the dog at some point! I had certain clothes for praying. I finished a bar of soap every day. My hands in particularhad peeled off due to excessive scrubbing! My family and friends tried to talk me out of the growing insanity using common sense, assuring me that God loves me and that he will accept my prayers no matter what!

Little did they know that common sense was not so common to me. I was suffering badly and it was overwhelming dealing with all the guilt. I was the reason there are no angels in our house after all; I brought the dog, which I love to death and refused to let him go. I started fearing for the lives of my parents and obsessed about all the terror that would fall upon me in case I lost them, so I’d wake up shaking in the middle of the night, running to their bedroom to check their breaths. I would say prayers out loud, especially when I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone, because my parents will die if I don’t. I started loathing my life and falling in a very deep dark place. I cried all the time for no reason whatsoever, and then I started having all those thoughts of hurting and/or killing myself.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for my parents. They told me I needed professional help, because I was only getting worse and they weren’t going to watch me destroy myself.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and ObsessiveCompulsive Disorder. But my parents didn’t like what they heard, so they took me to another psychiatrist who also diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and OCD. I was prescribed with one medication and I will never forget how my psychiatrist smiled at me and said ‘Don’t worry sweetie.

You’ll be just fine’.The obsessions miraculously vanished and I finally stopped acting out of control. I continued to pray normally and I was “me” again.

Looking back on it, it felt like some devil had taken over my life and was in complete control of it. It was such a relief to everyone who loved me.But a few years later, I got used to being a normal person and loved that feeling. It unfortunately made me forget what it was like to be obsessive and what it was like to feel wretched. Most of OCD patients seem to have fallen in that same trap… it was one hell of a trap, one that almost cost me my life!

23

]CENTER STAGE ]

The Safi-Don’tLeave-Nile FM Petition Page...

Not really, this is actually an interview

By Wessam Sherif Photography by Muhammad Abdelaal

BACK IN THE OLDEN DAYS, I WAS DRIVING BACK FROM UNIVERSITY WHEN I HEARD SOME GUY CALLED SAFI ON THE RADIO MAKE FUN OF LINKIN PARK. BEING THE LINKIN PARK FANATIC THAT I WAS AT THE TIME, I GOT ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS AT THE NEWBIE WHO WAS RIPPING ON MY FAVORITE BAND, AND I WAS LIKE “EL RAGEL DA MESH HAY3AMMAR!” ODDLY ENOUGH, THOUGH, IT WAS NOT LONG AFTERWARDS THAT SAFI WAS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE VOICE ON THE RADIO AND I LITERALLY TUNED IN TO EVERY SHOW HE PRESENTED. AND THAT WASN’T JUST ME; A GAZILLION OTHER LISTENERS HAVE MEMORIES WITH THE MAN! So, it was only natural for me to bring him down to the Campus headquarters the second he announced that he’d be leaving Nile FM, so that he could explain himself!

Campus: First of all, it sucks that you’re leaving Nile FM, man.

Safi: I think it’s awesome, at least for me. I don’t want to get stuck in that role. I don’t want to get stuck in the role of a radio presenter, I’ve been doing it for almost 10 years and it’s definitely time to move on.

C: So what made you decide that it’s time to leave?

S: It had clicked before the revolution, I was actually running the station; I was the program director and I was still doing The Big Drive Home.

But then I realized that I have other ambitions in life that I want to fulfill, I wanted to challenge myself more on a professional level. After the revolution, you’ll notice that I started to gradually back out from one thing after the other; at first I dropped The Big Drive, then I dropped the management position and then I just became a creative consultant and I started doing The Flashback. After a while, I decided that it’s time. I do believe that this is a global time of transition, whether it’s a personal transition, professional or political. It’s a transitional time and you either get on that wave or you’re going to crash under it.

24 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

C: Quick flashback. How did you get into it in the first place?

S: Pretty much by a fluke; way back in the 2000s, I actually started up with Shady Sherif (CEO of Core Publications) in Campus Creative, which was the advertising creative branch of Core Publications at the time, and we were actually one of the first agencies in Egypt that provided the service of radio advertisements.

But I’d always wanted to be a radio DJ, I’d been a DJ at school and I had my own show back at school until I actually got kicked out and we got the station shut down because the British Ambassador was on a surprise visit to the school and walked into the studio at 7:30 in the morning when I was blasting “Let’s Talk About Sex” to the entire school, which wasn’t a pleasant thing at all. So as soon as Nile FM opened up I knew that I was going to go work there and that it was only a matter of time. I got to know Simon, Natalie, Lou and the team. Then Neil, their rock-jock, went off to Dubai. I landed a demo, I got the job and 10 years later here I am.

C: I interviewed Simon and Tom around 9 months ago and they mentioned that the negativity you experienced during The Big Drive Home was one of the reasons that pushed you away from it.

S: That’s true. Radio is a two-way energy source; you’re sitting in your car and you’re feeling the energy of the presenter who’s talking to you, whatever the show and whatever the time of day. What a regular listener wouldn’t understand is how this energy works the other way around.

Almost 5 years of doing The Big Drive Home where everyone at that time is hungry, tired, angry, stuck in traffic or very edgy. That was the energy I was getting. It’s tough to describe the differences between the energies of listeners but imagine the difference between what you are like in the morning and what you are like in the afternoon, then multiply it by thousands.

C: Do you get a lot of rude listeners?

S: Not a lot, but everybody gets hate mail or hate text. But my one and only rule in that case is to ignore them.

C: So you never got the urge to actually beat the crap out of one of them?

S: Of course I got that urge before, but it was never to the point of actually replying because I figured out earlier that if somebody wants to send you that kind of message, they do really want a reaction, no one would diss someone and not expect a reaction. The best way to answer that is by not dignifying it with a response. My reaction would usually be “that’s fantastic” or “you’re completely entitled to that”.

C: Is there a difference between when you first started and now as a presenter?

S: I evolved in the sense that I know the distinction between what you want to do and what you have to do, what you want to say and what you have to say. I’m sure that as an editor you had to walk that line, the whole “I want to tackle it from this angle but I have to tackle it from that aspect”. It’s usually bigger than you or bigger than what your opinion on the matter is. That’s an area that I really think I’ve developed in.

After the revolution, we had to learn objectivity on the spot starting with the referendum up to the presidential elections. It’s something that I hadn’t learned at first, but given the time, you learn how to respect people’s opinions. Just because I think Justin Bieber is a very… you know... I understand why people hate on her, but some people really like her, and if I am going to infringe on someone’s will to like a certain artist, then I have to accept other people infringing on my rights to like other bands, it’s a give and take thing.

C: Did you get any obsessive listeners?

S: Oh yeah! There were a handful of people that if I woke up in the middle of the night and found them standing by my bed, I would’ve been shocked but not surprised. I’d be like “aaah, you made it”. There was a time when I used to say on air that I’m going to check out this movie over there or I’m going to check out that gallery out there but I stopped doing that. Because people would show up. You’d go to an event with 15,000 people in it and somehow they manage to find you. Sometimes it gets a bit more complicated than that; there were girls who thought that they were in love with me!

25

CENTER STAGE

C: I was actually going to ask you about girls who hit on you.

S: That is the most flattering thing in the world, but at the same time I can’t imagine falling in love with a voice. There are a lot more requirements than just a voice. And it’s known world-wide that obsessive behavior is much worse with daily media personalities than with super star actresses or actors because it feels like they’re there for you every day.

There was a girl that thought that every single song I’d play on the radio was for her, so you could only imagine what sort of texts or responses I’d get if I played a sad song! She’d send stuff like “what did I do?” and “I’m so sorry”. This becomes extremely uncomfortable and sometimes I don’t know how to handle it. I even had people send me scented handkerchiefs to the station! Who does that?! That’s some medieval Victorian stuff right there.

So I had to learn how to handle good feedback and compliments; it took me years to learn how to smile and just say thank you

C: On-air you’re the bubbly, friendly person. Are you the same person off-air?

S: I think my on-air and off-air personas are quiet similar. However, my off-air persona is much more opinionated because that’s when I get to express my own opinion. You also don’t get to hear the lazy side of me, but there is a lazy side. Sometimes you spend hours sitting on the couch doing nothing because you’ve got to balance out all the energy you emit.

C: Now that you’re not going to be on air a lot, what is the one thing that if your listeners knew about you they’d stop listening to your show?

S: Wow, that’s a tough one. I’d like to think that they are a bit more loyal than that! Maybe if they knew all the inside jokes that we as presenters make about their SMSes and responses. This sort of thing would encourage people not to get in touch but I think they’ll still listen.

C: Yeah, I see weird stuff on Twitter; some people ask for “Pak Estereet” and the likes.

S: Actually just the other day someone asked for “Hotel Calidonia” and someone else asked for “Belly Jeans” - I’m pretty sure they were thinking of jelly beans at the time!

C: Did ever get arrogant?

S:I’d like to think not, although I’m sure I did, but I can’t really recall a point when I was like “no, this is how we’re going to do it” and stick to my guns. I hopefully think that I haven’t been arrogant at all. I may come off as arrogant at times, and I do believe there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. Confidence is a very important thing to have; to know your abilities, but once you start taking that for granted you cross over to the arrogant zone. I think I’ve been ego-checking myself regularly for the past 10 years.

C: Do you ever catch yourself off-guard warming up to a song you shouldn’t like?

S: Yes, I dig my cheese. Not a lot of people know that the music industry now is based primarily on focus groups and marketing procedures. There are people who are currently studying and developing the catchiest lines and the catchiest tunes and they are selling them to us, it’s becoming a psychological attack, it’s not just left to the artist.

Now it’s like “What are we targeting?”

“Girls aged 12-18.”

“What are they afraid of?”

“Their boyfriends leaving them.” - Then you have Avril Lavigne’s next hit: “Oh Please Don’t Leave Me”. That’s how the music industry is developing at the moment. I think Dan Balan’s “Chica Bomb” was an awesome track. I mean if you work in a lingerie shop for a while you’ll appreciate the different types of lace out there.

C: Was there a time when there were people working at Nile FM that you would’ve rather had someone else in their place? Due to office politics or due to their performance on-air, especially that you’ve managed the station at a point in time?

S: I didn’t really enjoy management at all. I’d like to think that I was good at my management position but I never enjoyed it; I would’ve rather been

26 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

doing other stuff on a more creative platform and on a more creative level, and that’s where I eventually headed. I have a firm belief that whoever is there at a certain place, at a certain time is the right person.

And regardless of caliber it was my job as a manager to try to dig in and bring out the best out of everyone that was there. It wasn’t easy but I think I’ve managed to accomplish that.

I’m proud of everyone at Nile FM. I’ve learned from pretty much everyone that I’ve worked with.

C: We all have small obsessions, what’s yours?

S: Big Lebowski, I’m part of the Big Lebowski fan club, I’ve got big Lebowski memorabilia at home, I have my Big Lebowski achievers plaque. I’m pretty much obsessed with Big Lebowski. And Adidas originals! I’m also obsessed with Seinfeld, smart humor is the toughest kind of humor out there because toilet humor is the easiest thing to do.

Nevertheless, I like Family Guy, I mean it has to be either really smart or absolutely slapstick. Very few people could walk the line of intelligentslapstick comedy. And for me the champion of that has got to be Will Ferrell.

C: How would you react if Egypt became an Islamic State, literally? Saudi Arabia-ish?

S: You know, the problem is, politically I don’t think an Islamic project is a bad project, it’s just that there is not one unified Islamic project. It’s pretty much just the use of religion to get political and capital gain. And as long as people are not unified on one Islamic project with the true cores and values of Islam which would allow me to do whatever I want as long as I’m not hurting anyone, then why not? Bring it on. If that’s the kind of Islamic state that Egypt would turn into then I’d be the first person to say Hurraaa, or, Allahu Akbar, in this case.

C: What if it turns into an oppressive or fundamentalist state?

S: Then I’ll fight it in whatever way that I can, I think how we should be fighting is through arts and culture; we’re not doing anything to promote arts and culture. If I establish 100 different art centers in the most remote places of Egypt and I encourage people to grab a brush and a paper and draw the word of God in calligraphy, no man whose hand touches a brush and gets into art will ever get radicalized. If you understand art then you’d understand the true beauty of life and the beauty of God and you will not get radicalized. We should be promoting art.

C: So would you leave the country like some people want to?

S: I doubt it, I’m sure there would be a spot somewhere on the Red Sea

or something. This brings me to another point, I love my country and I’m extremely patriotic, but at the same time I’m becoming increasingly obsessed with the concept of a person who decided to take the world map a long time ago and decided to divide it into countries. We have all been that person’s b*tch ever since that day. I don’t see why I can’t just go and spend some time in Costa Rica on the beach or sometime in East Africa, I believe that the more you see the more you be.

C: You’ve never spent time away from Egypt?

S: No, actually, this fall I was supposed to go do my Masters in London.

I got accepted, and the dean mailed me and told me that he never personally mailed someone, but they’re delighted to have me. But I didn’t score a scholarship for “dawa3y amneya”, so it just didn’t happen.

C: So they didn’t give you the scholarship because of dawa3y amneya! What the hell did you do man?

S: I didn’t do sh*t! Maybe what scared them is that I was going to do a media Masters or maybe it’s my brother’s case in Mohamed Mahmoud.

C: What’s your biggest fear?

S: Growing old and having to depend on someone.

C: So what’s the next step?

S: You know what, this is actually an exclusive: I’m going to be racing from the west to the extreme east of India along about 3500 km for charity… in a Toktok! I’m doing that in September for charity in India, and we’ve combined 3 different educational charities: one in India, one in Gaza and “Educate Me” here in Egypt. So that’s my first step.

C: Is it going to be aired?

S: Yes, I’m going to get a blog prepared, actually we’re going to be shooting a mockumentary, and you’ll be able to get daily updates and follow us via GPS. It’s going to be quite interesting. Statistically, I am less likely to get into an accident in a Toktok than I am to be attacked by a tiger! Also some interesting video blogs are in the works and a possible move to the Red Sea! It’s time my generation sort of reverses this mentality and takes it out to the other side. I love Egypt, I wouldn’t want to move out of Egypt, I understand the people that would say I’m going to Canada or whatever, it’s fine by me.. Hopefully moving to the Red Sea and starting a project that would combine something that I’ve always wanted to do which is teach and something that I’ve always been so passionate about in general which is audio; be it music or radio.

C: Thank you!

where people would leave me alone if I have my own kite-surf center

27

]OPINIONATED ]

I do not enjoy Ramadan… and I think that’s OK.

By Yasmine Zohdi

OK, I DON’T THINK THERE’S A MILDER WAY TO PUT THIS: I DON’T REALLY ENJOY RAMADAN. I ACTUALLY SORT OF DREAD ITS ARRIVAL, AND RIGHT NOW I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAY I DON’T WISH FOR IT TO END.

28 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

And guess what? I’m actually a practicing Muslim; I believe, I pray, and yes, I do fast, willingly. I wouldn’t say I am exceptionally religious, but my faith plays a very big role in my life and shapes a very significant part of who I am.

And I don’t see how the first fact contradicts the second.

You see, whenever I express my true sentiments towards the Holy Month in public, I am met with an instant, ‘Estaghfar Allah el 3azeem! Leih keda bass ya Yasmine?’, as if I had just voiced an unutterable blasphemy.

I actually think disliking Ramadan is the natural order of things.

For a whole month, in this heat, you are required to spend 15 hours of your day fasting, you are expected to go on with your usual duties and activities without the sources of energy your body is accustomed to, and above that, you want to make time for intensified spiritualities (like finishing the Qur’an’s 30 chapters over the span of the month and performing extra prayers every night, whether in the form of Taraweeh or Qiyam Leil, for example).

Moreover, the day is divided quite rigidly into two halves, the longer half of which (pre-iftar) is totally dead, while the other half is too short to actually do anything of significance, considering you don’t muster the resolve to leave the couch or abandon the TV (yes, no matter how much you try to deny it, you always end up giving in to the temptation of checking out those TV shows everyone is constantly talking about, even when you know beforehand that they’ll be total crap) before 10 pm, 9 if you’re a remarkably energetic person.

I happen to think the same of Ramadan – denying the physical and mental strain that comes with the month would be to rob it of its meaning. Enduring the exhaustion and the stress that Ramadan brings along is the whole point; it’s why we get rewarded in the end, or at least that’s what I believe. When it comes to religion, the whole idea behind scoring points (in other words, acquiring thawab) for resisting something that is prohibited, lies in the word ‘resisting’, meaning that the thing in question is usually of considerable appeal; be it – for example - alcohol, sex, or food/drink when you’re fasting. You are supposed to fight the temptation of doing that which you should not do; and since when was fighting temptation meant to be an easy or enjoyable process?

Unmarried men and women who remain virgins until they’re middleaged out of belief that pre-marital sex is a sin… I bet being over 30 and still having to sleep alone doesn’t really make them happy. People who don’t drink out of adherence to religious values are bound to wonder sometimes what it would be like to go dancing one night, get drunk, and just let go, like many people around them often do. When you’re stuck in Cairo traffic in the middle of the day, the heat of the sun on your skin making you sweat like you’re in a sauna, do you not fantasize about a huge glass of icy-cold water and wish you were not fasting so you could actually have one?

Quite naturally, you have desires, and sometimes, before those desires – naturally as well - you become weak. That’s not lack of faith; it’s called being human. Yet you try to fight your urges – you abstain from sex, you remain sober, you wait for sundown. The key is in the struggle. In Arabic, it’s referred to as ‘gihad al-nafs’. That’s what it’s all about.

Not to mention having to deal with taxi drivers and other very random people who audaciously make your religious habits – or lack thereof - their business, asking infuriating questions such as whether you’re Muslim or Christian, whether you fast or you don’t, and – if you happen to be a female - why you won’t cover your arms and your hair during ‘el shahr el kareem’.

Which brings me to my initial claim. that it’s OK to not enjoy Ramadan.

And yes, it’s OK to say that you don’t. There’s no point in maintaining a pretense of exaggerated affection that you don’t really feel in order to convince yourself and prove to society that you’re religious. I believe the biggest virtue of all is being honest with oneself, even before being honest with others.

Sound like fun to you? I thought not.

I am not speaking about Ramadan in its abstract sense as the holy month revered in Islam; I am referring to the actual Ramadan that we get to live in our present reality along with the state of being a Muslim today.

This city, with its ceaseless pressures and inconveniences, the fierce heat wave we’re currently witnessing, the commercialization of religion to the point that it’s nearly becoming just another commodity promoted on the streets and on TV, the overwhelming attack of cheap drama that makes you want to puke, the mutilation of Islam so irrevocably at the hands of a number of bearded clowns in suits (other times bearded criminals in turbans and armed with machine guns), the demanding job and never-ending string of obligations you’re expected to fulfill, and how the flow of your life is inevitably hindered by the low energy levels that accompany fasting – all of this makes it legit to find the whole Ramadanian experience less than pleasant, even as you try in the midst of it all to renew your faith and strengthen your relationship with religion.

Then why does everyone seem to find it so weird that I don’t enjoy it? Or, more accurately, why does everyone seem to disapprove when I say that I don’t?

Of course I understand the religious value of Ramadan, and I do cherish it. I get why fasting is an important spiritual exercise, I am well aware of the sacredness that lies in commemorating the month during which Prophet Muhammad first received word from God, I appreciate the quality time you get to spend with your family and loved ones during iftar or so7our every day, and I am grateful for the chance at a clean slate that you are offered every time this month comes around, and that for those blessed 30 days, the gates of the skies are opened extra-wide for anyone who wants to make a truthful appeal to their creator.

However, claiming to love Ramadan for those reasons would be like claiming to love Egypt for its mild climate, marvelous beaches, the Nile, the generous population, the Pyramids and the Sphinx – all those overused textbook clichés. Yes, Egypt does in essence possess all those things, but it is also home to horrendous traffic jams, garbageinfested slums, and hordes of sexual harassers – and to refute that is unthinkable.

I know some people might not at all relate to what I’m saying, though.

And if you’re one of them, if you easily manage to find spirituality and clear-headedness amongst this whirlwind, and therefore still find great pleasure in Ramadan and wait for it from year to year, then I can only say you’re truly lucky.

29

OPINIONATED

The Philosophy of Max Payne Believe it or not, wisdom can be derived from videogames

By Youssef Saad Eldin 30 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

• The end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk, a brooding underdog avenger alone against an empire of evil out to right a grave injustice. Everything was subjective. Nothing is a cliché when it’s happening to you.

• Life knows two miseries; getting what you don’t want and not getting what you want.

• Throw the rules out the window, odds are you’ll go that way too.

FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW WHO MAX PAYNE IS, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE HIM: HE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM THE THIRD PERSON SHOOTER VIDEOGAME SERIES MAX PAYNE. HE’S ALSO –AT LEAST AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED– ONE OF THE COOLEST CHARACTERS CREATED BY THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. Max’s cliché of being a cop whose wife and 6-month-old daughter were brutally murdered by 3 junkies during a break-in makes him like many other vigilantes in different games. But what makes him different is that he’s not just some guy who shoots people to avenge his family; this man has a very complex, dark, and philosophical approach to everything.

This is the only vigilante who immediately after shooting a villain provides you with a philosophical explanation of why he had to do it and the consequences of not doing it. In other words, Max Payne puts the whole noire genre into perspective.

I’ve put together a list of -what I think is- Max’s most memorable quotes to further explain the philosophy of Max Payne. However, keep in mind that if those quotes were said by a teenage girl I would’ve called them nothing but “emo existential crap”. But make no mistake, the fact that it’s being said by a man who shoots dozens and dozens of gangsters makes them words of wisdom.

• Life was good; a house on the Jersey side across the river, the smell of freshly cut lawns, the sounds of children playing, a beautiful wife and a baby girl. The American dream comes true. But dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you’re not looking.

• The genius of the hole: no matter how long you spend climbing out, you can still fall back down in an instant.

• All this time we got the fable of Sleeping Beauty wrong. The prince didn’t kiss her to wake her up. No one who slept for a hundred years is likely to wake up. It was the other way round; he kisses her to wake himself up from the nightmare that has brought him there.

• There are no choices; nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask “why me?” and “what if?”. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. If you had done something differently, it wouldn’t be you, it would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions.

• As surely as the bullet rips through the victim’s flesh, organ and bone, it shatters the image of the man who pulls the trigger.

• The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you piece it together, you cut yourself, your image keeps shifting. And you change with it. It could destroy you, drive you mad. It could set you free.

• When entertainment turns into a surreal reflection of your life, you’re a lucky man if you can laugh at the joke. Luck and I weren’t on speaking terms.

• I had stepped over the edge. The cartoon moment when the gravity waits for the coyote to realize his mistake before the plunge.

• Looking back, it was strange how the cops never showed up. But things had a habit of only making sense to me looking back.

• There was a blind spot in my head, a bullet-shaped hole where the answers should be. Call it denial. I wanted to dig inside my skull and scrape out the pain.

• Home, sweet home. Something in the night felt like a door had been opened, an echo of the past, an old monster snapping its eyes open in the depths of my brain. Closing your eyes forces you to look at the darkness inside.

• A funhouse is a linear sequence of scares. Take it or leave it is the only choice given. Makes you think about free will; had our choices been made for us because of who we are?

• These chumps have paid for some angry gringo without the sensibilities of knowing right from wrong, and I realized they were correct; I wouldn’t know right from wrong if one was helping the poor and the other was banging my sister.

• The way I see it, there are two types of people; those who spend their lives trying to build a future and those who spend their lives trying to rebuild the past. For too long I’d be stuck in between, hidden in the dark.

This game is all about the mood, I hope that now you have a better understanding of the Max Payne philosophy. I do realize that you won’t really appreciate these quotes if you haven’t played the game before, but that could be easily solved by actually playing the game. It’s one of the best games out there!

31

SECTION

Well , that’s awkward. There would’ve been an artice here, but the power was cut off while we were writing it. Sorry!

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] BARE NAKED ]

High On

Body Fat!

By Wessam Sherif Photography by Muhammad Abdelaal

I WAS SO TEMPTED TO NOT WRITE AN INTRODUCTION FOR THESE GUYS. I MEAN, FOR GOD’S SAKE, THEY’RE CALLED HIGH ON BODY FAT! ANYWHO, HOBF IS LITERALLY THE ONLY BAND IN EGYPT THAT COMBINES COMEDY WITH MUSIC, AND THE’YVE JUST COME BACK FROM LEBANON WHERE THEY WERE COMPETING IN ARABS GOT TALENT. NOW LET’S GET ON WITH THE INTERVIEW, IF YOU CAN ACTUALLY CALL WHAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO READ AN INTERVIEW… Campus: This won’t be a cliché interview by the way.

Marwan: We’ve had many cliché interviews, trust me! Maybe you should get inside our heads and do an interview like the one Bassem Youssef did with Mekki! And we could show you the betengan farm that we have!

As a matter of fact, I ate three different kinds of betengan today!

Campus: You guys truly are in love with Betengan aren’t you?

Marwan: Fashkh!

Campus: And the other part of the equation is chicken, yeah?

Safi: I’m a big supporter of chicken. By the time I sleep every day, there’s usually a graveyard of chicken in my stomach.

Campus: Consequently, that’s the inspiration behind your logo.

Safi: Yep. Campus: And High on Body Fat is because…

Marwan: We’re not particularly skinny! And because we don’t do drugs.

Campus: And you don’t do drugs because?

Safi: Because why do drugs when you can have chicken?!

Marwan: Plus, I’ve had this experience when you do enough Sushi or have a lot of cake, you start laughing for like an hour, non-stop.

Safi: I honestly reach ecstasy (in fact, he said “nashwa”) through shawerma.

Campus: This all explains why a significant portion of your songs is about food.

Marwan: Of course. We have an entire song about the McDonald’s menu! It’s called “lobby berson”.

Campus: Most of your songs are covers, right?

Marwan: Yea, except for three original ones, and we don’t play two of them!

Safi: There’s a specific song called “Ode to Red” about PMS, that doesn’t sit well with the audience. Here’s what happened: we were performing at the Cairo Jazz Club and we were singing “Tant Samia” and people were dancing like crazy, and no one ever dances like this to “Tant Samia”! So we announced that we have a new original and we started singing “Ode to Red”… The girls grabbed their coats and left the club.

Marwan: I honestly think that specific song is a bit too advanced for our part of the world. But I think it’s a very funny song.

Marwan

34 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Campus: HOBF to you guys is more of a comedy show than a music project?

Marwan: When we write originals we start thinking about the music as

Safi well. But at the same time, it’s not like we’re trying to write the solo elly haysaya7 weshak masalan!

Safi: Yes, we just want people to laugh.

Campus: What’s the worst feedback that you guys got?

Marwan: Youtube comments on our second Arabs Got Talent video are ridiculous! We’ve received piles of insults ranging from “ento rekebto el thawra” to “ento masreyeen hobl!”

Safi: It was pure, legitimate hate! They even accused us of copying Amr Qatamesh and they even said that I looked like him! Wana maly ana!

And when we sang “Tant Samia” in addition to those who were like “3ala fekra ento mesh betetkalemo aspany, ento bet2oolo asamy la3ebet Barcelona!” – La ya sheikh!

Campus: And were you guys bothered by that kind of feedback?

Safi: Actually, that kind of legitimate hate hurt. I’m not Justin Bieber, why treat me the way you would treat him?!

Marwan: After the faux pas during the second episode of Arabs Got Talent, we were already really upset and the comments just made it worse.

Campus: But the judges at Arabs Got Talent were on a completely different wavelength than you guys.

Safi: Our comedy reaches a different target audience than the one Arabs Got Talent addresses.

Marwan: Nevertheless, we did get a lot of fans because of Arabs Got Talent. I still get stopped on the street by people who want to take pictures with me.

Safi: Yea, I was watching a match the other day and this guy came up to me and he was like “captain bodyfat?”, so I said yes and he took a picture with me. I was also stopped by a bunch of girls for a picture as well. If only they were seven years older!

Campus: Would you say that you have a large base of fans?

Marwan: Technically we’re still underground, but I think we have a pretty decent fan base. I still don’t believe that a lot of people actually love us that much, bas eshta!

Campus: But you have to admit, it’s actually nice to have fans and get recognition!

Marwan: Definitely, because we started this as tahyees initially, until we had 13 songs and decided to start doing concerts.

Campus: Alright, what’s the thing that people shouldn’t know about you guys?

Safi: He does poop tweets, I do porn tweets. In fact, I’m followed by the official Spankwire Twitter account!

Marwan: Actually, they shouldn’t probably know that we’re currently on a break!

Campus: You are?

Marwan: Yeah. Safi wants to focus on his own project and I’m focusing on mine as well. I’m actually trying to get into standup comedy again and Safi is working with Zabaleen in addition to his solo project.

Campus: (Talking to Marwan) I believe you’re engaged.

Marwan: Yea. Campus: (Talking to Safi) And you’re single?

Safi: Men yoomy!

Marwan: Actually, it would be great if part of this interview is actually an advertisement to help Safi get a girlfriend.

Campus: Are you commitment phobic?

Safi: No! I’m just forever alone fashkh!

Marwan: Yea, lazem bas 7ad yedeelo forseto!

Campus: (Back to Marwan) Alright, who’s the one woman that would make you cheat?

Marwan: The one that would push me really, but I won’t actually cheat because I’m crazy loyal… (that’s where Safi interrupted and started playing an air violin) Marwan: (To Safi) 7AMRA! Safi: Ok imagine that you’re just going to marry another woman; I mean you’re allowed to marry four!

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BARE NAKED

Marwan: Four! Imagine four different PMSes! Safi: Enta law berens tekhaleehom ye-synco ma3 ba3d!

Marwan: That’s four women PMSing at the same time! Anywho, if I had to pick one woman, it’d be Scarlett Johanssen.

Safi: That’s too much of a cliché answer!

Marwan: Man, women either get b**bs or a*s, she’s got both at the same time! That’s ridiculous.

Campus: You guys should actually right a song about a*s men and b**b men!

Marwan: Why haven’t we done that?!

Campus: Speaking of which, what are you guys?

Safi: A*s man! (Safi and myself exchange overly enthusiastic high fives) Marwan: I was a b**b man that converted to an a*s man!

Campus: You guys know what the problem is? This is all going in the Ramadan issue!

Marwan: Yeah, it’s something to read before so7our!

Campus: Would you refer to yourself as a hipster band?

Marwan: I think we’re a band that appeals to hipsters. I myself fall under the hipster stereotype some times, but it’s just the way I’ve always been.

Safi: But we can’t really be hipsters because we don’t fit in skinny jeans!

Campus: Did your parents ever listen to your music?

Marwan: Yea, my mom comes to the concerts. Actually, she once attended one of our Cairo Jazz Club concerts and even brought neighbors along!

Safi: My mom doesn’t listen to my comedy.

Campus: And what would she think if she did?

Safi: Uhhh… She’d be like “bravo, da7akt el nas 3aleik? Bravo” Campus: Did you meet any weird people in Arabs Got Talent?

Marwan: Actually, most of them were awesome. But there was this guy who was a complete drama queen, who treated the production crew like shit. Not to mention that he was a huge fan of Justin Bieber.

Safi: In fact, he used to tell us that he got some of his clothes from one of Bieber’s tours. And all that came to mind was “we mama 3arfa?”

Marwan: Plus, he literally stormed off stage in the direction of the audience when he knew that he got eliminated!

Campus: Do you have any obsessions?

Marwan: B**b sizes, to the point that I’ve developed the talent of knowing the size by just looking.

Safi: You’ll earn my respect when you manage to tell someone’s b**b size through a tweet!

Marwan: That’s impossible! That’ll make me a boobopath!

Safi: I’m obsessed with Arsenal (the Football club).

Campus: Who’s the one person you’d gladly shoot? Bieber aside.

Marwan: Hosni Mubarak. I would’ve loved for him to be shot the day he stepped down.

Safi: I’m against the death penalty, but there are some people who piss the f*ck out of me: Justin Bieber, who I can’t choose, Lady Gaga and Yasmine Abd El Aziz!

Marwan: I’d also kill El Sobky! Because a butcher can only make movies about meat.

Campus: What’s the one immoral thing that you’d like to do, but for obviously reasons wouldn’t?

Marwan: I think I’d like to be a gigolo.

Safi: I’d be a poker con artist and make tons of money.

Marwan: You could lose an arm over that sh*t.

Safi: You could lose a testicle over being a gigolo!

On that note, I just decided to turn off the recorder. Seriously, the digression from that point couldn’t be put in words. For more of the above, do attend one of their concerts…

36 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

We’re honestly very, very flattered! But while these statements reflect our notion behind the cover quite accurately, nobody actually called us to get them!

37

PRESS RELEASES

For a Refreshing Ramadan Experience…

IF YOU’RE TIRED OF ALL THE TRADITION POST-IFTAR RAMADAN ACTIVITIES, REJOICE; FOR THERE’S ACTUALLY SOMETHING TO DO ABOUT IT. CHECK OUT THE SCHEDULES OF “HAYY!” AND “MAWAWEEL” AND TAKE YOUR PICK! HAYY!

MAWAWEEL

Hayy! is the annual Ramadan program organized by Culture Resource (Al Mawred Al Thaqafy) at El Geneina Theatre in Azhar Park. Concerts take place every weekend at 9.30 pm, tickets are for LE 20 (apart from the Park’s admission fees).

Events are organized by Darb 1718 and Cairo Jazz Club Agency and take place at Darb 1718 (Kasr El Sham3 Street, Cairo)

Thursday 2nd August 9:30 pm: Palestinian artist Rim Banna Friday 3rd August 9:30 pm: Egyptian artist Dina El Wedidi Thursday 9th and Friday 10th August 9.30 pm: Lebanese artist Yasmine Hamdan

Egyptian Film ‘Winter of Discontent’ competes at the 69th Venice International Film Festival ZAD COMMUNICATIONS & PRODUCTIONS LLC IN ASSOCIATION WITH AROMA AND EIN SHAMS FILMS ANNOUNCED THAT THEIR LATEST FEATURE FILM, WINTER OF DISCONTENT, DIRECTED

BY IBRAHIM EL BATOUT, HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY SELECTED FOR AN EXCLUSIVE WORLD PREMIERE AT THIS YEAR’S 69TH VENICE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL, HELD FROM THE 29TH OF AUG. TO 8TH OF SEPT. 2012. WINTER OF DISCONTENT WILL BE COMPETING AT THE FESTIVAL’S ORIZZONTI SECTION TOGETHER WITH SOME OF THE WORLD’S MOST DISTINGUISHED INTERNATIONAL FILMS. Held at the historic Palazzo del Cinema on the Lungomare Marconi in Venice, Italy, the film’s cast and crew said they are proud to be participating in one of the world’s most prestigious film festivals. The festival, which is part of the Venice Biennale, has been considered one of the most respected cultural institutions in the world for over a century now.

“It’s an honor for our film to be opening in the Venice International Film Festival; we’re thrilled,” said Ibrahim El Batout, “making this film was like a life raft for the cast and crew during the emotionally and politically turbulent times for our country,” he added.

“Winter of Discontent is one of the most important films in my career as an actor,” said Amr Waked, “discovering the character of Amr posed many questions, and presented a real human challenge. As a producer who just co-produced his first feature film – I am truly proud and filled with hope.”

Set against the momentous backdrop of the whirlwind protests of Cairo’s Tahrir Square that began on January 25th, 2011, Winter of Discontent (formerly called R for Revolution) takes audiences on a compellingly raw, starkly moving journey into the lives of activist Amr (Amr Waked), journalist Farah (Farah Youssef) and state security officer Adel (Salah Al Hanafy). The film poetically explores the anguish of a victim of state terror in 2009, intertwining with the pivotal events in 2011 that changed the face of Egypt and the world as we know it. As the stories of the characters unfold, viewers are propelled headlong into a surreal atmosphere of uncertainty.

38 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Thursday 2nd August 9.30pm - 1.30am: Bazaar, Art Exhibition, Craft Workshops 10.30pm - 11.30pm: Basheer 12am - 1am: Mawlaweya - Sufi Jazz

Thursday 9th August 9.30pm - 1.30am: Bazaar, Art Exhibition, Craft Workshops 10pm - 11pm: Storytelling with Abeer Soliman ‘Scheherazade’s Last Night’ 11pm – 12am: Ashara Gharbi 12am - 1am: Mawlaweya – Tannoura

SECTION

Patterns 39 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

]PATTERNS ]

en m o W

Shimmer this Summer Shimmer in metallic this summer! It’s totally in, and will perfectly accentuate the glow of your tan.

‫‏‬Accessorize

H&M ‫‏‬River Island

H&M

H&M

‫‏‬Next H&M

‫‏‬Monsoon ‫‏‬Monsoon

n ‫‏‬New Look

H&M

Vintage Americana Girl

Republic

Contrary to popular belief, there’s much more to the ‘Americana’ look than the American flag print. This season it’s all about the preppy look meeting the farmer girl look.

H&M

Republic ‫‏‬Next

Primark

H&M

‫‏‬New Look

H&M

Fun Footwear: Boat Shoes Fun rules footwear this summer, forget your average sandals or average heels; the key word is to ‘explore’.

‫‏‬Next H&M

‫‏‬River Island

Primark ‫‏‬Monsoon ‫‏‬New Look

40 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

It’s All in the Shirt Be stylish and classy for all those fancy ‘3azayem’ you get invited to this Ramadan in one of those trendy shirts we picked for you.

n Me Primark

Urban Outfitters Republic

H&M

‫‏‬Next

‫‏‬ASOS

‫‏‬River Island

‫‏‬ASOS

Belt Up! Belts are the best finishing touch to give you that neat, clean-cut look we all aspire to sometimes.

‫‏‬River Island

H&M

‫‏‬ASOS

Take Me to Shoe Town There are 101 reasons to why men need to wear nice shoes, suffice it to say they’re the first thing a girl notices about a guy. Whether going to work, a wedding, dinner, or a meeting; be careful when picking a pair, dudes.

Office

Primark H&M

Urban Outfitters

‫‏‬Next

‫‏‬River Island

H&M

41

PATTERNS

Fashion Bulletin Showstopper: Marion Cotillard

Marion Cotillard has stepped it up by rocking a gracefully elegant Haute Couture Christian Dior outfit for the Dark Knight Rises London Premiere. She mastered the summer trend of meshing different patterns together yet keeping it classy and clean-cut. Somehow the different colours and cuts all beautifully work together.

Madonna Makes Shoes

After endless months of teasers, Madonna has finally launched her fancy footwear collection at Selfridges London. This collection has pieces for all tastes, from flashy to classy. Some are at decent prices ranging from $125-$175 and the extra glamorous ones from $750 and up. But if you want to get yourself a pair and don’t happen to be heading to the UK anytime soon, you’ll have to wait until fall when the collection hits other stores around the world.

42 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Photoshoot of the Month: Aliana T. Lohan

This new model had just signed with Next Models when she disappeared on us. However, she is finally back with a smashing photo shoot this month.

And yes, this beautiful young woman actually happens to be Lindsay Lohan’s baby sister. In this shoot she is seen wearing designs by Samantha Sleeper, Furne One Amato Couture, Lovemarks, Sheila Frank, and Christiane King. This shoot takes us back to the 1920s and 1930s with the glamorous Clara Bow look.

Mama Beyonce

Beyonce is spotted strolling the streets of New York with baby Blue Ivy, who’s 6 months old already! However, she’s gone back to her roots, literally, and is rocking full-on braids and an attractive outfit with a colourful African print.

Beyonce is truly one of the few artists who when natural is at their most beautiful.

When the Hangover Gets Ugly Things get ugly after the premier of the Hangover II when Warner Bros. got sued by Louis Vuitton.

Their reasoning is that there was a 25-second scene where the character played by Zach Galifiankis carries a bag marked LVM and calls it a Lewis Vuitton.

The French Fashion House claims that this scene harmed its brand and is infringing on its brand and has created consumer confusion.

However, Louis Vuitton lost the case, given that they asked for a ridiculous amount of 580 million dollars and the destruction of all copies of the Hangover II. What were LV thinking, seriously?

43

PATTERNS

Illustration, Styling and Fashion Design, and I decided to work as a freelance fashion editor. I loved doing everything related to fashion; from styling to photography, to writing and illustrating. I worked in Pashion, Cleo and Campus. I got a lot of exposure, especially through Campus, and I started to really mingle with the fashion circle in Cairo. With this being done over 4 years, I saw how designers worked, succeeded and failed. I always wanted to start a brand, but never had that drive. Luckily the girls gave me a great big push and finally we managed to think of something different.

Bringing art to your day-today life

By Hend Ghorab

‘3AL CANVAS’ IS THE LATEST SUPERB ADDITION TO THE CAIRO FASHION SCENE. DEVISED BY THREE TALENTED FRIENDS (ASMA EL HUSSEINI, SALMA EL SAYED AND BASMAH EL BITTAR) WHO ALL STUDIED ART AND ARE VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT FASHION AND DESIGN, THE CONCEPT BEHIND ‘3AL CANVAS’ IS BRINGING ART ONTO ITEMS THAT WE FREQUENTLY USE IN OUR DAILY LIVES. WANTING TO PUT THEIR ARTISTIC BACKGROUNDS TO USE, VENTURE INTO THE FASHION WORLD AND AT THE SAME TIME STAY AWAY FROM THE CURRENT COMMERCIAL CLICHÉS, THE GIRLS CAME UP WITH AN IDEA THAT’S BOTH EDGY AND FRESH. HERE’S HOW ‘3AL CANVAS’ STARTED AND WHERE THEY PLAN TO TAKE IT. First off, what made you decide on the name ‘3al Canvas’?

When we started to bounce ideas on the concept of our brand the name just came up. We thought Canvas was too mundane so someone suggested we add the ‘3al’ to make it different and memorable. It suits our concept of putting whatever is on canvas on products we use every day.

Tell us a little about yourselves and what it is that led you to start this line.

Asma: I graduated with an Art degree and an interest in fashion. I took several short courses in London’s Central Saint Martins in Fashion

44 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Salma: I was an Art major in AUC and soon after graduating I went to Central Saint Martins and did a Photography course for 6 months. I came back inspired with the creativity of London, and photography and art quickly became my hobbies. I did a gallery in the Opera House a few months later and displayed my art work in Ghazl El Banat. Art and photography continued to play a role in my life. I loved doing my own paintings in my house, designing my own furniture... I knew by then I was meant to work in art.

Basmah: I graduated from Art in AUC with an interest in advertising. I took a graphics design course and worked for a while at an advertising agency. I couldn’t continue; I realized the field just wasn’t me. I later took a job teaching Art at an international school and I totally found myself.

I just love seeing kids blossom in my class with so much talent and creativity.

Out of curiosity, who out of you designed the images on the beach bags in your new line?

Being 3 artists means we are all designers. We all drew different illustrations on the bags and we all came up with the design together.

What is the best thing about working with friends? And the worst?

The best thing is that we know each other; we know our flaws and our edges so we tend to use them wisely. We know how to be honest because we’ve known each other for years. We are more comfortable with one another and that helps a lot. There’s trust; there’s knowing that each of us will never do something sly or sneaky. The good things out weigh the bad. The bad parts is that we have to be very careful so as not to affect our friendship. We hear so many stories that friends who work together always fail, but we believe that so long as each person knows their input and part in the project then there really shouldn’t be any quarrels.

What obstacles have you faced since you started ‘3al Canvas’?

The beach bags line was our baby; we learned a lot from that project.

You put scenarios in your plan in terms of time and sales and things just spiral out of control in both a good and a bad way. We haven’t faced any big obstacles that’ll set us back; just the normal faux-pas. What helped

us, though, is that we worked backwards. We examined the printing capabilities, the tailoring capabilities and the material capabilities first, and then we created the bag. We didn’t have a grand vision in our head first and then find that resources in Cairo are limited and get disappointed.

Resources definitely are limited, but we chose to make the best out of what we have.

and even though this style was innovative and edgy a few years back, it’s time for new ideas and creations now. Our bags would have sold more if they had a neon kaff somewhere on them. But it’s not the people who set the trend; it’s the other way round. If you create something different and edgy it’ll speak for itself.

What is your proudest moment so far?

What are the advantages/disadvantages of working in Egypt?

The amazing feedback we got from those around us. That by far is the best feeling.

Do you have any new upcoming ideas for the bag? Whether it’s changing the material or shape?

We are not just about the bag. We are about bringing our art onto daily products. We’ve already produced our second product; the beach mat, which you are free to paint upon or ask us to paint a custom-design for you. We will continue to draw different illustrations and designs onto different objects. We have cushions and T-shirts in mind for our next product.

What are your inspirations?

Asma: I’m a fashion bimbo/junkie/freak. Anything fashion related gets me fused with ideas. Something as tiny as a buckle on a shoe can get my brain thinking of a complete fashion line using that buckle. But my true inspirations were Basmah and Salma; because I’m so damn lazy I would have never done anything on my own.

Salma: I’ve always loved portraits, whether it’s photography or painting.

And I was mainly focused on that during the past few years. So when we decided that the theme was going to be fashion illustrations I was very inspired to draw.

Advantages are known, our social bubble is 1% of the population so it’s so easy to be heard of and get credited in Egypt. This industry is still blooming in Egypt and competition isn’t that high, so it’s easy to find a niche. The disadvantages are that Egypt’s industry is so unprofessional that you get to work “bel baraka.” You learn to find a way around it and make the best out of it but if everyone was more professional this fashion scene would look so different.

A question to each: What is your favourite colour? Favorite material? Favorite food?

Asma: I love all colours. I prefer a bold palette; I love monochromatic tones and I hate pink and baby blue. Cotton for sure. I can live on bread in all its forms and shapes.

Salma: Red. Pizza. I love all materials depending on their use.

Basmah: Bold colours, anything that generates energy. Sushi. Lace.

You can snatch yourself a ‘3al Canvas’ Bag From These Places: www. style-treasure.com, El Horreya Boutique (First Mall), Ghazl El Banat (Hacienda El Cort)

Basmah: Art in all its forms inspires me. Interior, fashion, galleries… everything inspires me to do something valuable that I can say I was part of it.

What made you confident that your line was going make it amongst all the new up-and-coming designers and/or bag creators?

The product is different; we worked around to make it something out of the ordinary seen in Cairo. It’s practical; we wanted the first product to be seen as useful. It’s good quality; the production was made superbly by Lotfy. It’s affordable; we wanted people to feel that we understand how much someone would pay for a product.

If you had any advice to give up-and-coming designers in Egypt, what would it be?

For the love of fashion, please go with your design instincts and not the local taste. Every new designer seems to be heading to the oriental style,

45

PATTERNS

Made in Egypt IT’S RAMADAN TIME, AND ALL EGYPTIAN DESIGNERS HAVE PRODUCED MANY GOODIES THAT ARE GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOUR RAMADAN MORE STYLEFILLED AND FUN!

Get yourself a Joud so7our lap tray, so you can enjoy your so7our whlie watching your favorite show in bed. (EGP 390) Pamper your bathroom with the Nina Shawki ‘El Mesa7araty’ guest towel set of two. These towels are perfect for any guest bathroom, sized at 30 x 30 centimeters. (EGP 80)

A perfect present in Ramadan is a Joud Summer Kaff Tea Box with 9 slots for every type of tea you crave. (EGP 290)

Get comfortable in Nodi’s Kinar Dress that flows comfortably to flatter your body with its trim waistline and sleeves. (EGP 480)

46 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Serve your Karkade, 2amar el Deen or Kharoub in this large glass jug adorned with handpainted design and the Arabic statement: ‫ املية تروي العطشان‬from Lara’s Crafts. (EGP 280)

Get yourself a Sara El Emary signature high-waist pants in black to match all your tops and be able to hide that post-fitar kersh.

(EGP 850)

Be conservative yet fabulous in the Sara El Emary Chains Abaya made out of Lycra fabric that’s guaranteed to help you out with the current heat wave!

(EGP 950)

FOR RENT

Small Space - Big Space Size Does Not Matter!

Call: 0100 66 87 667 E-mail: zelalfy@corerepublic.net

FOR RENT

Small Space - Big Space Size Does Not Matter!

Call: 0100 66 87 667 E-mail: zelalfy@corerepublic.net

FOR RENT

Small Space - Big Space Size Does Not Matter!

Call: 0100 66 87 667 E-mail: zelalfy@corerepublic.net

FOR RENT

FOR RENT

Small Space - Big Space Size Does Not Matter!

Call: 0100 66 87 667 E-mail: zelalfy@corerepublic.net

Small Space - Big Space Size Does Not Matter!

Call: 010 66 87 667 E-mail: zelalfy@corerepublic.net

]READER INTERVIEW ]

We interviewed one of our readers, and guess what?

© Ahmed, our reader

He’s a nudist!

48 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE FIRST READER WE INTERVIEWED IS AHMED: AN EGYPTIAN NUDIST!

Campus: Tell us more about you being a nudist. Why did you choose to be a nudist? What do you want to accomplish?

Ahmed: When I was 13, I saw a documentary on BBC about nudism in the UK. I liked the idea, but wasn’t really an active nudist, and it stayed like that for a while. A few years later, when I started to use the Internet, I began to read more about the lifestyle on websites and became an active member on a few forums and met more nudists online. That was when I really got into nudism.

I chose to be a nudist because I think it is more comfortable to be nude, especially in situations such as at the comfort of your own home or on a beach (admit it, nobody likes soggy sandy swimsuits). Also, because I think clothes are mostly unnecessary, unless it is to get warm in cold weather for instance. And third, because I think there’s nothing shameful about the naked human body. People should neither be ashamed of being nude nor be ashamed of seeing others nude.

What I am trying to accomplish (aside from getting away with being nude as much as possible) is to cast some positive light on the nudist lifestyle, and dispel those misconceptions about nudity: that it is wrong, it is taboo, and it is always associated with sex.

C: Why should we believe that you’re an actual nudist? If you truly were a nudist in Egypt, you’d probably be all over the news.

A: As to whether I am an actual nudist or not, you are welcome to accompany me next time I go to a nude beach! Believe it or not, I am not the only nudist in Egypt. There are many who enjoy being nude, mostly in the comfort of their own homes, and would call themselves “home nudists”. There are also those who tried nudism in a slightly more social setting by going to a nude beach or resort.

It’s difficult to meet other people who are into nudism because it is not exactly the kind of topic you would casually bring up in conversations and many people prefer to keep it to themselves. Even some just like being naked at home but they didn’t think of the possibility of being naked elsewhere and that there’s an entire movement that advocates it.

About being all over the news, well, how about if I told you we have nude beaches in Egypt (parts of private resorts) and they are not all over the news? I’ve seen articles in the news about nudism before (not nudism in Egypt, just general news) and it always focuses on it from one side, namely the shock value of it. And unless I am a girl and I posted a naked picture of myself somewhere then I probably wouldn’t get much attention!

But hopefully we can start creating some awareness about the lifestyle here.

C: So have you actually walked the streets naked? Did you encounter any problems?

A: I did “streak” a few times a long while ago but this is not nudism per se. Nudism is not really about walking the streets naked. Nudism is about being nude whether in private or in a public setting as long as it doesn’t offend others or break any laws. Even in countries that are friendlier towards nudism there are designated places where nudists can enjoy being nude such as beaches, resorts, clubs, even entire towns or communities.

C: Are your friends/family/loved ones/ colleagues okay with you being nudist? Or (as you mentioned) were there conflicts?

A: My wife is okay with it even though she is not a nudist herself. As for friends/colleagues, I’ve been quite secretive about being a nudist but in recent years I’ve been more vocal about it among friends. Most of them are okay with it, either accepting it or in some cases even interested to

“

“

WE’VE DECIDED THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE FAMOUS TO BE INTERVIEWED. AND THAT’S WHY WE’LL BE INTERVIEWING ONE (OR SOME) OF OUR READERS EVERY MONTH, GIVEN THAT THEY GIVE US SOMETHING THAT NO OTHER READER HAS!

I chose to be a nudist because I think it is more comfortable to be nude, especially in situations such as at the comfort of your own home or on a beach (admit it, nobody likes soggy sandy swimsuits).

try. Yet I had a few nasty episodes with friends/colleagues who either found out by coincidence or I told them myself. The reactions ranged from being ridiculed to serious lecturing about how “wrong” it is.

C: Do you realize that your ambition as an Egyptian nudist is subject to failure because of our culture? Or even worse, you yourself might be subject to abuse and violence from others.

A: There are a lot of people belonging to “alternative lifestyles” who are part of our society even though their lifestyles are not particularly adherent to the norms of our culture. You’ve got homosexuals, emo, and they are starting to gain recognition and acceptance at least within the more educated circles of our community. I am not really planning to turn all of Egypt into nudists. And I wouldn’t call my “ambition” a failure either, because being a nudist doesn’t require more than being nude wherever I can, which I already do.

But my hope is to introduce the lifestyle to people and perhaps get some interested in it. I realize it is still a very long road to having an established nudist movement in a country like Egypt, which is why I am taking it slowly. As for being subject to abuse and violence, I realize that given the current political/social climate I should be worried, but then again, I am not offending anyone, so I shouldn’t expect anyone to have a problem with it.

49

READER INTERVIEW

© Ahmed, our reader

A nude beach in Egypt.

C: When/If you have a family, would you still be okay with being naked around them all the time and vice versa?

A: When I was still living with my parents I wasn’t naked around them because they are very much against the whole thing (I never even told them that I am a nudist, but I tried to open discussions and all ended in failure). Now that I am married, yes I am usually naked around the house.

And I would encourage family members to be naked too if they want to.

I have nudist friends from abroad who are part of three generation nudist families. They are nude around each other; they go on holiday to nude resorts together, and so on.

C: Would you be okay if your mother decided to become a nudist herself?

A: Yes, if she wants to.

C: Do you feel that you’re infringing on people’s freedom by forcing them to see you naked? Some people would find it very offensive to see a naked person.

A: As I explained before, it is not part of the nudist lifestyle to force others to see you naked (this is exhibitionism, which is a totally different thing).

I’m only naked around people who are okay with seeing me naked or in places where it is acceptable to be naked. The tolerance of society to nudity in general is different from one country to the next. In a country like Germany (where the modern nudist movement originated) nudity is much more acceptable in public. People go naked in parks, and most

50 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

beaches allow nudity. In countries like America, even though law allows toplessness in certain states, public nudity is pretty much confined to nude beaches and so. So the level of tolerance towards nudity differs based on culture, and so on.

C: What do you for a living? If there was a conflict between your job and your ambition as a nudist, which would you choose?

A: I am an engineer. Apart from having to wear clothes when I am in the office (if you know a job that doesn’t require that, please let me know!)

I do not foresee a conflict ever really happening between both. Nudism is something I practice outside working hours, pretty much similar to a hobby or a sport. Ideally, I’d like to have a job that allows me to be nude during the working hours, but I wouldn’t imagine that happening unless I am working from home or I am working in a place that is associated with the nudist lifestyle, such as a publication or a resort. But that is all wishful thinking of course, like a gamer wishing he could be a game tester for a big game development company for instance.

C: Do you have a role model?

A: As a nudist? No specific person. But I generally admire people who are very much open about being a nudist to anyone and everyone. I wish I had that kind of courage.

]THE GAY SECTION ]

Don’t Be a Prince.

Don’t Be Charming.

Just Be

Human.

By Amy Quotb

I ALWAYS WANTED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO THE MEN IN MY LIFE; THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MOVIES I CRY TO, AND THE WAY I WANT MY LIFE TO BE. JUST BECAUSE I THINK ROBERT PATTINSON IS HOT, DOESN’T MEAN THAT I WISH I WAS IN A TRAGIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A DESPERATE, GAY VAMPIRE.

52 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

“

“

On the other hand, I’m sure that girls are to blame when it comes to the stereotypes flying about us right, left and center. But here’s an idea; if we girls were only into that kind of stuff, how come the human race is still reproducing?

Don’t forget that we were alive before we met you. We had everything going on and none of us starved to death on the side of the road for being unable to function.

Food for thought…

We let you help. Understand the difference.

Sure, growing up, we dreamt about the god that is Brad Pitt and other cuties of TV shows and music videos. But this doesn’t mean that we all want the likes of Matthew McConaughey parading around with us, topless with their six-packs and golden locks. I’m not sure how I’d feel if my partner looked like he just walked out of a Levi’s commercial. I don’t look like Barbie, and I don’t want to be with Ken.

And by the by, while we’re at it, looking like a chunk of muscle with an olive for a head is NOT sexy. So, please, if you’re spending hours in the gym pumping whatever it is you pump over there for our sake, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

We’re people, not fictional characters. We have flaws that we want to be accepted, and qualities to be loved. Playing games only makes all these things obscure and pointless.

I’d take a guy who wants me the way I am over Matthew McConaughey any day. Being pretty as Ken, well behaved as Mr. Darcy, or sensitive and mushy as Cusack won’t win you any bonus points. I know this makes us even harder to understand, but it’s the truth! It’s easy to pretend to be somebody you’re not, much much easier than to ask for love, just the way you are. It’s easy to pretend that everything a girl does is “magic” and go head over heels for her, than to actually know her for real AND still want be with her.

… Dontcha?

Pride and Prejudice

A “decent man” doesn’t necessarily mean someone who memorized the rules of etiquette like it’s a duty, and shows them off around anything with a vagina like peacocks with their feathers. I’ve met tens of guys who appear like total gentlemen, opening doors and pulling seats and gently kissing a lady’s hand like she’s to be worshipped, but were real slimeballs inside.

So when guys try so hard, well, it shows!

Don’t do your best to mimic some character from a Jane Austen book, and be yourself! Because believe me, eventually, she’s going get to see the real you, and it’ll be the shock of her life.

John Cusack

Yes, the actor. I LOVE THAT GUY. I absolutely adore him to bits, from the second I saw him holding up that infamous boom box in “Say Anything.”

I love him with his girly face, sarcastic comments, slightly crazy eyes and absolutely ditzy gestures. I just love him to bits.

But if MY man ever does any of those things for real, I’ll slap him across the cheek and yell “MATESTARGEL YAAD!”

Just because I say “I loooove him” doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to be him. I love 20 other guys, with 20 different characters. Can you keep up? Can you be ditzy Cusack, goofy Kutcher, funny Jack Black, sexy Pattinson, witty Matthew Perry, sarcastic Downy Jr. and pretty boy Depp all in one?

No. If I chose to be with you, then it’s the you mix that I’m into. Don’t be someone else for me, coz I simply won’t recognize you.

Don’t Call Me Baby

Most of the time, we can do without any help. We can work, live alone, drive, do our own chores and make life work. It’s not that we physically need a man to come and open up the jar, but we like it. We like having you around to show that you care enough to do something for us, just as much as you like feeling more powerful. It’s a win-win situation, right?

Sure. Only until you start to believe it, and act like Superman. Instead of helping when asked, you start jumping in and helping – uninvited. Instead of making us feel supported, you end up making us feel crippled.

Remember Andy Garcia in “When a Man Loves a Woman”? He was a nice guy and all, but making your partner feel less able is uncool, man.

So uncool.

Where Do You Think You’re Going?

Just because I say “I loooove him” doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to be him. I love 20 other guys, with 20 different characters. Can you keep up?

Can you be ditzy Cusack, goofy Kutcher, funny Jack Black, sexy Pattinson, witty Matthew Perry, sarcastic Downy Jr. and pretty boy Depp all in one?

53

SECTION

Algeria:

A Diamond in the Rough

By Summer Nazif

54 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

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]THE GREEN PASSPORT ] WHEN I WAS A KID, MY MOTHER TOLD ME STORIES ABOUT ALGERIA AS HER BELOVED HOME COUNTRY, BUT EVEN I, A HALF-ALGERIAN, KNEW VERY LITTLE ABOUT ALGERIA UNTIL TWO YEARS AGO. YOU’LL BE FORGIVEN IF YOU DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ALGERIA APART FROM ITS RECENT PARTICIPATION IN THE 2010 WORLD CUP. DESPITE BEING THE LARGEST AFRICAN COUNTRY, SPANNING FROM THE MEDITERRANEAN INTO THE SAHARA, AND THE WORLD’S FOURTH LARGEST NATURAL GAS EXPORTER, THIS COUNTRY REMAINS RELATIVELY UNKNOWN. YET, ITS SEEMING OBSCURITY IS WHAT MAKES IT BEGUILING — A JEWEL TO BE DISCOVERED. Sitting at the crossroads of three worlds, Arab, Mediterranean and African, Algeria has a very diverse culture. While the national identity of Algeria is based on a combination of Berber and Arab cultures, the strong influence of Islam in all aspects of Algerian life creates a sense of identity that extends beyond national boundaries to include other Arab nations.

Monument des Martyrs

My first trip to Algeria was two years ago, and I couldn’t have been more nervous about it; an Egyptian visiting the country not long after the EgyptianAlgerian soccer war, was that really a good idea? Yes, it was! I was wellwelcomed by everyone, people even started throwing in every Egyptian word they’ve learned from TV in conversations once they knew I’m Egyptian. I spent a month in Algiers, the capital, and by the time I had to go, I didn’t want to leave.

Algiers – Where you get to see it all

Algerians are morning people, that was hard for me to get used to, but waking up to the smell of freshly baked croissants and freshly made coffee that permeates the streets of the city was always a delight. I’m a fan of Rai myself, and so the almost constant strains of Rai that meet you nearly everywhere in Algiers – with a Chaabi interlude every now and then – kept me going. In a city so rich in culture, every day was a new experience.

Sidi Fredj

Algiers has been a port since Roman times and many impressive ruins can still be seen, such as those at Djemila and Timgad, which are all in good condition because of the dry desert climate. Although commercialized by the French in the mid 19th century, the city still has a Maghreb feel to it, with many zigzag alleyways, mosques and beautiful Turkish houses and palaces.

Algerian architecture in general is very interesting and diverse, testament to the invasions from Roman, Spanish, Phoenician, Arab, Byzantine, French, and Turkish cultures. Algiers is the city of contrasts – the perfect place to see it all: from traditional buildings, over French colonial architecture and Roman ruins to ultra modern pompous buildings; you can tell the difference in style even from a small distance.

Apart from the wondrous beaches, Algiers offers plenty of sights on dry land. My favorite is Le Jardin d’Essai, a garden so beautiful it almost makes you forget the hassle of city life. With its palm trees and fountains, it’s perfect for long walks and lazy days. In the heart of the city, Le Jardin d’Essai is Algeria’s oldest botanical garden and is home to many plant and animal species.

Among other landmarks you might want to visit in the capital is the Monument des Martyrs (Maqam Ech Chahid), a monument created to commemorate the million martyrs who died during the Algerian war for independence from France. You might love the structure as many Algerians do, viewing it as a tribute to the country’s freedom fighters, or you might dismiss it as a mere concrete monstrosity in the middle of the city, but it remains a must-see.

Madagh Beach in Oran

I spent the best part of my vacation in Rue Didouche Mourad, the commercial heart of the city. Walking down Rue Didouche Mourad, you might as well be in Europe, with its whitewashed buildings and their beautiful balconies with brilliant blue shutters. There are shops and cafés all along the street, stores that sell clothes, shoes and souvenirs, bookshops, and

56 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Tipasa

patisseries and restaurants. The narrow, tree-lined street winds its way down from the Sacre Coeur Cathedral towards the Grande Poste and the seafront.

The Grande Poste is Algeria’s most famous landmark, it’s certainly no ordinary post office and is guaranteed to capture your attention. Its white neo-Moorish styling and highly decorative Islamic interior make it a very popular tourist destination for its architectural significance. The building still plays a central role in life in Algiers as a post office, and many friends and couples often hangout on its front steps.

General notes on the capital

Constantine

-Most of the people of Algeria speak Algerian Arabic in a dialectical form called Darja, which is often very difficult to pick up. The Berbers, forming 27.4 percent of the population speak in Tamazight. French is widely used and spoken in everyday life in larger cities like Algiers, so if you speak French you’ll find it very useful on your visit.

-When shopping in Algiers, you don’t have to worry about money (unless you’re shopping for brands) and you can update your wardrobe with a reasonable amount of money. The most popular places where you would be able to shop then grab a bite to eat or drink a cup of coffee and get a feel of the city all at once would be Rue Didouche Mourad and Rue Sidi Yahia.

-Algerian food is considerably influenced by Mediterranean cooking; it’s an amalgamation of French, Turkish, Arab, Berber and Spanish cuisines. The national dish is Couscous. Algiers is filled with Middle-Eastern and fast food restaurants, cafes and ice-cream booths. The most significant, and my favorite, restaurant is La Maison de Couscous, serving the country’s most fundamental dish. Make sure to try one of the delicious shawerma stalls as well.

Le Jardin d’Essai

-The nightlife in Algiers is not very vibrant, but there are still things you can do. There is a number of bars/clubs that remain open into the small hours of the night, The Veranda at the Bois des Arcades is a very popular choice.

There are also many restaurants where you can enjoy a lavish meal out, but most don’t stay open beyond midnight. The movies are another option, but most films are dubbed in French.

Other spots to visit around Algeria I believe there’s more to Algeria than what I’ve seen, and my experience triggered an interest in the country and made me keen to learn more about it.

The day I set foot in Algeria, I became obsessed. Here are other cities worth visiting other than Algiers:

Tipasa: On the shores of the Mediterranean, Tipasa was an ancient trading post conquered by Rome and turned into a Roman strategic base. It comprises a unique group of Phoenician, Roman, Christian and Byzantine ruins alongside indigenous monuments. It makes a great destination for history junkies.

Sidi Fredj: A city-resort in the Mediterranean known for its beaches and luxury services but also for its history. It was the landing spot where the French established their beachhead for the Invasion of Algiers in 1830 and was also an important port during the Second World War. The ‘Grande Poste’

Constantine: Known as the ‘Eastern Capital of Algeria’, it is located near the border with Tunisia in the mountains on both sides of the ravine. This is the third largest city, as well as the most beautiful and unusual.

Oran: A city that’s beautiful day and night because of the splendor of

both its nature and its man-made structures. Oran is known as the place to escape it all; it’s ideal for a family vacation or for friends and romantics. If you’re looking for fine beaches rich in aquatic life and perfect for diving, or historical attractions and great restaurants, it’s all there in Oran.

In short, as a country so diverse geographically, culturally, and historically, yet relatively untouched by globalization, Algeria is definitely worth visiting and discovering – it’s authentic and captivating.

Buildings at Rue Didouche Mourad

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] SCREENS & SPEAKERS ]

How I Hollywood Irrevocably F*cked the Female Mind

T’S BEEN SAID MANY A TIME THAT DISNEY MOVIES IMPLANTED DANGEROUS IDEAS IN OUR EMPTY, IMPRESSIONABLE LITTLE-GIRL HEADS – PRINCES ON WHITE HORSES, US BEING HELPLESS DAMSELS IN DISTRESS, AND OF COURSE THE COMPLETE ABSENCE OF FRIZZY HAIR, ZITS AND SQUISHY AREAS ON BODIES. But I noticed that those unrealistic (and frankly, somewhat annoying) ideas didn’t die out with Disney and our childhood. They sneakily carried themselves into the movies we watch as adults, but with more realistic (somewhat) characters and storylines, so people swallowed it somewhat better. I sat down for a moment and thought about all the male characters that had women the world over going ga-ga, and reached the conclusion that no normal man on earth could even halfway measure up to even the littlest pinky toe on these great men who we swoon over in movies.

Why can’t you be more like Depp and less of a dumbass?

By Leila Tapozada

58 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

And the problem is, these swoon-worthy qualities we drool over don’t just stay in the confines of the movie we’re watching. We start looking at

Now let me highlight some of Hollywood’s greatest male characters, who were probably directly responsible for the clusterf*ck that goes on in a woman’s head every time she watches them:

Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack in Titantic:

Let’s start with the most cliché one. Ok, we girls know that Titanic is a cheesy movie. We know, ok? But that doesn’t stop most of us from still being in love with it. And Leo’s Jack probably fueled many adolescent girls’ burgeoning sexuality. But come on, YEAH RIGHT. No guy we know is going to kill himself for us after a few days of knowing us, no matter how much game we have. And if we ever did have sex in a car with him, it wouldn’t be sweaty and erotic; more like uncomfortable and quick and with the fervent hope that el box beta3 el police mish haya3di. And if your boyfriend ever did draw a picture of you, it’d be one that makes you look like those aliens from Mars Attacks and add to that an unflattering body.

Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind:

What girl wouldn’t be head over heels for Rhett? The smooth talking, masculine, quick-witted charmer who walks around oozing sexuality?

Hot. But even if the guys we know have a line or two up their sleeve, they’re usually sleazy douchebags who are just trying to get their rocks off. The beauty of Rhett’s character was that he was in love with Scarlett for years, yet wasn’t all corny and limp-wristed about it. No, he did his thing and she did hers, and when she got to be too much, he kicked her to the curb, but only after yeaaaaars, not because he decided that he has more fun sitting 3and el koshk ma3 so7abo.

Patrick Swayze as Johnny in Dirty Dancing:

“Nobody puts baby in the corner!” Ahhhhhhhhh the words that brought women to their knees (uh, metaphorically, people, not sexually). If you can find me a man who dances like Patrick Swayze, I will gladly tear up these pages I’m writing and literally eat my words. Now tell me where, in our regular lives, we’re going to find a hard-bodied, macho man who has a soft side and will skillfully undress us as he teaches us to dance? And try finding a guy around these here parts who will lift your whole body above his head and will not only NOT drop dead from cardiac arrest, bas walla 7ata haygeelo disc fi dahro.

Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun in The Notebook:

See, this character was a little too much even for me to get on board with, but I know dozens of girls who get weak in the knees just talking about him. Find me a guy please who will threaten to throw himself off some ride in DreamPark if you don’t go out with him. Or will write you love letter after love letter for years on end. Or will, when you’re both old and white-haired, will read you THE STORY OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL LOVE STORY SPANNING FIFTY YEARS DAY AFTER DAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE DEMENTIA AND THEN YOU BOTH DIE PEACEFULLY IN BED WHILE HOLDING EACH OTHER (uh, sorry, spoiler alert). Marriages around here are lucky if they last more than two years. Pffft.

Mel Gibson as William Wallace in Braveheart:

the men in our life with a little more contempt – why can’t you be a little more romantic now and then? Would it kill you if we have a fight to come to my house in the pouring rain (aw sandstorm, that would work too) with flowers and beg me to forgive you? Is it really that difficult to make grand gestures? IS IT PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SWITCH OFF THAT PLAYSTATION?!

I mean, we know that these are fictional characters. But Hollywood makes its billions by preying on our scumbag female brains that obviously haven’t evolved that much since childhood. We know that these epic men aren’t real, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to find a man who acts just a liiiiiiittle bit like them… right?

Disclaimer: The smartasses amongst you are going to say, well, the female characters in movies aren’t realistic either. But I’d like to refute that – sure, maybe regular girls don’t LOOK like the girls in movies, but most of the acts of love or devotion that women do for their men in movies are actually pretty damn realistic, there’s no throwing themselves out of planes or going to wars or any of that nonsense.

Please. If any male you know can hold a feather against Gibson’s character, then please let him step forward. I mean, let’s be honest. If you were brutally murdered, then your boyfriend/fiancé/husband would be upset for maybe a year or two, but then would move on and marry some trashy girl darba sha3raha ‘oxygeen’ who he met in O Bar; he certainly wouldn’t spearhead a rebellion and overthrow a tyrant over it. And he certainly wouldn’t be fueled all the way to his own death, which included torture and castration. Castration, people! Your man whimpers if your bag accidentally gets a little too close to his dinky.

So this is basically what’s going on: you, as a female, can watch these movies and know that it has nothing to do with reality, but you can’t help wistfully hoping you’ll meet a man who can somewhat compare, or that your own man will finally get his sh*t together. But chances are, ladies, it ain’t going to happen. You’re pretty much stuck with your farting, annoying, non-talkative boyfriend who will occasionally pull a sweet gesture out of his ass, but mainly just sits on it. And we’ve got to be ok with that. But that’s not before we give a big EFF YOU finger to Hollywood.

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Forever 27 SCREENS & SPEAKERS

The awkward moment when Justin Bieber might outlive music legends

By Mohammed Jamal

60 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

Is it a coincidence that Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse all died at the age of 27? I’m not the superstitious type, but hey, something seems fishy about this. Remember the whole “The masons killed Michael Jackson” thing? Maybe the “Masons” have a Club 27 department!

This made me wonder… I’ve just turned 27, and I’m a musician, whoa!

Should I start counting down? But I decided to look at the bright side of this whole story, and look closely into a few of the well-known members of the club:

Cobain Well, the “members” of Club 27 are all artists, mostly musicians, and some of which were very influential. Take Kurt Cobain for example, Nirvana’s front man. This man basically established what is now known as “Grunge” music. With hit songs like “Smells like Teen Spirit” and “Lithium”, he left behind pieces of art that will be remembered for ages, although he died at an early age. Even for those who are not fans of this type of music, I don’t think anyone who was born in the 80s and early 90s don’t know who Nirvana and what their music was. So I guess we can call that his life’s accomplishment.

Cause of death: suicide; he shot himself in the head.

Joplin Janis Joplin, who also died at 27, had a very fruitful musical career, and was very well-known for her stage performances. She was labeled “The Queen of Rock and Roll” as well as “The Queen of Psychadelic Soul” at the peak of her career. She was also ranked number 46 on Rolling Stone Magazine’s list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time in 2004 and number 28 on the magazine’s list of the 100 Greatest Singers of All Time in 2008.

And yet she died at 27. You’d think with all of the above that she’d at least lived to 35.

Cause of death: heroin overdose.

Morrison Moving on to Jim Morrison, the man who needs no introduction.

And if you don’t know who Jim Morrison is, check out Val Kilmer’s impersonation of him in the movie “The Doors”, produced in 1991.

To me, Morrison was one of the best front men to ever set foot on this earth; he had the ability to capture the audience effortlessly. With exceptional writing, improvising, performing and singing skills, this man made his way into the history of rock music with a very unusual twist. He had a very wild life and always berated the media for intervening in his business. He wrote songs that will remain iconic in the history of music like “Roadhouse Blues”, “Love Me Two Times” and “Light My Fire”. Also, Classic Rock Magazine ranked him number 22 on their list of 50 Greatest Singers of Rock in 2009. If you’re a fan of The Doors, watch the movie w ed3ooli!

Cause of death: heart failure due to severe alcohol and drug dependency.

Hendrix Jimi Hendrix, on the other hand, is a different story. He is considered one of the best electric guitar players of all time and he was the one who helped make popular the use of the “Wah-Wah” pedal with the electric guitar in rock music, giving his solos more taste and aggression. He won many awards throughout his rather short career and his album “Are You Experienced?” has been preserved for all time in the US’s Library of Congress and part of the nation’s audio legacy. Hendrix was very inclined to experimentation when it came to music; some of his hit songs such as “Foxy Lady” and “Purple Haze” made it to many charts across the globe,

“

IT TURNS OUT THERE’S A “CLUB” DEDICATED TO ARTISTS AND/OR MUSICIANS WHO HAVE DIED AT THE AGE OF 27 AS A RESULT OF MESSED-UP LIFESTYLES THAT MADE THEM MORE INCLINED TO SELFDESTRUCTION. THAT CLUB IS CALLED “CLUB 27” OR THE “FOREVER 27 CLUB”.

“

This made me wonder…

I’ve just turned 27, and I’m a musician, whoa!

Should I start counting down?

he was very successful both in Europe and in the United States. He shared stages with many respectful world musicians like Eric Clapton, BB King and George Harrison. And hey, he has a star dedicated to him on the Hollywood Walk of Fame since November 14th 1991.

Cause of death: too many sleeping pills – he was then choked to death by his own vomit.

So you see, reading about this Club 27 myth made me think, and reflect, I don’t think these artists lived each day like it was the last day intentionally, but nevertheless, each of them died leaving behind a legacy, something to be remembered forever for. What would I leave behind?

What would any artist living in this fast moving world leave behind to be remembered for forever? I made a list of things I have accomplished, and I’m not even halfway through what I should have accomplished, but at least I know where I stand, and hence I would like to say, or rather call out to everyone whose job is to influence, to produce, to impact the world, the society, other people. Live each day as if it were the last, make use of your talent and art. Make it last. And when you turn 27, be forever 27.

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]BALLS ]

So Much for Fair Play

By Sherief Hassan

CALL ME OLD FASHIONED. I STILL BELIEVE IN THE HIGHER MORAL END; THE COMPENSATING GLORY YOU BASK IN EVEN IF THE SCOREBOARD SAYS YOU LOST.

I for one don’t see any glory in quick wins, easy routes or acheless rises to prominence. It’s an insult to everyone who tasted the sweet taste of sore muscles after a battling day, everyone who conquered despair and adversary and came out victorious.

These men are invincible, because no matter how hard they hit the ground they always summon the courage to rise up again.

These men are winners, just because they don’t know how to lose. They come out of every battle with their heads up high because they know what they had to do and gave it their all.

Morals are tricky nowadays, it’s easy to get lost and be oblivious to what a right decision is; I’m not saying that’s exactly new, I’m just saying it’s getting harder. I pity the young ones for they have no proper idols to look up to, no enduring sports champion (the closest thing to a super hero they’ll ever encounter) who gets stuck day in, day out putting his heart out there for a cause. Nowadays sportsmen -and namely footballers- are a big influence on the younger lads. They are the tingling dream manifestation and that flashing beacon of light that should cause inspiration and give them tangible proof that they can achieve anything.

The Olden Days My generation was luckier in that aspect; football had less money, less agents and much more glory back then and thus had more soul. Once upon a time players played for their teams, supporters were not all glory hunters lurking after the all-conquering team to root for it, there was a price for sweat and toil on the pitch and players were not the money-grabbing prima donnas of today.

You see, football is a team game at heart, the core is the team; the eleven men you need to trust blindly. Your teammate should be reliable and you need to know that when called upon you’ll find them there already doing their part and more. Because it’s not always a picnic or a walk in the park; challenges will never stop rising and there will always be a tougher challenge right around the corner, and if you can’t trust your teammate, the heart of the team isn’t beating.

Money and greedy agents have destroyed the culture of the game nowadays. If there’s say a medium-sized team that did its homework, put a strategy and a plan, molded a crop of fine young players and groomed them for glory, it would normally start winning and eventually start earning stature, prize money and glory. But natural order doesn’t prevail. That mediumsized team will get hampered by its own boys-turned-men seeking easier and faster money from the first buyer.

The Devils’ Experience Now allow me to reveal my little secret. I am a proud Manchester United fan. I’ve been rooting for this great team since 1996, the majestic days of the popped-up collar of ‘Le Roi’ Eric Cantona.

Back then, serious money was just finding its way into football, wages were rising, TV revenues were escalating and endorsements were the new money-maker, taking over the historical match day gate income. Manchester United was the pioneer in sports marketing, finding groundbreaking innovative ways to generate sustainable funds to follow a fine strategy of how to reach the top of world club prominence and stay there. The strategy was perfect and clubs elsewhere started to copy the strategies of the Manchester based club, pre-season tours to populous regions like South East Asia and the USA yielded a massive commercial success. People often claim the United was one of the first teams to exploit money in football and thus are the reason for the turmoil we’re hitting, but I disagree. United earned every penny on the pitch with honor, sweat and toil years before their commercial success. The legendary Sir Alex Ferguson spent years building a winning team before putting hands on any form of silver. And it needed years after that to transform the success on the pitch into a commercial one. So the commercial success was an absolutely well-deserved one, a tale to be told of how hard work pays off eventually.

Along Came the Cash Ridiculousness comes when average teams sailing the seas of mediocrity have a rich playboy suitor strolling over to buy them, injecting ridiculous millions and then all of a sudden that team is a strong contender to win the European Champions League. Now that breaks everything good about football, fair fights, reward for effort made and demolishes every reason to work hard. And it doesn’t just stop there, it ripples to reach players always wanting more money without actually doing something to earn it, nurturing clubs being unable to harness the fruit of their work because the culture turned into a graband run one and subsequently it reaches community, in the form of young kids aspiring to be like their money grabbing idols, always looking for the easy route.

Courage is my favorite virtue; it is the one that ensures the best personal qualities are there when most critically needed. Now that trait is crucial in football as in life, not only to ensure the rest of the qualities, but to be able to walk in when everybody else walks out, that rare breed of one-club players like Giggs, Del Piero, Buffon and others; those who endured the hard times with their clubs and rose to the challenge every time with loyalty that is rarely seen in the football world anymore. Del Piero and Buffon for instance accepted playing in a lower league and rejected lucrative deals to move to a higher league club and winning easy trophies, they stuck in with their club through its darkest hours, the latter even just recently accepted a contract earning him 2 million Euros less than his previous contract just because he wanted to carry on with his team. The older generation won’t be around for long and we will be stuck with money grabbing players willing to abandon ship at the first troubling breeze. This not what football is all about and not what life is all about.

It’s not all gloomy though, there are still some enduring players of good nature worthy of admiration for what they stand for, there is still room for regulation of the amount of money being injected into football teams that they didn’t generate in anyway, there is still room to restore the fairness of the game. But it’s not about enforced regulations only, it has to be coming from the hearts of players, just give them the healthy environment and leave them to show their true colors, the scoreboard doesn’t always tell the true champion.

Support the true champions.

62 AUGUST 2012 CAMPUS

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@CampusMagLive 64 JUNE 2012 CAMPUS