campus january 2013 by Campus Magazine

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IT’S EVERYTHING BUT PORN

JANUARY 2013

Dedicated to a good year ba2a!

‫وكفاية خالص تتندم‬

889 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

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888 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

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IN THIS ISSUE

Feature 6 The Story of Happiness 12 Cairo... It Grows on You

40 How to Have a Non-Awkward First Date 42 A Love Note

Underscore 18 Survival Redefined 20 You’re Happy, You Just Don’t Know It 22 Work Vs Marriage

Patterns 46 Trends 48 International Fashion News 50 Made in Egypt

`Opinionated 26 The Vegetarian’s Rant 28 Happiness is a State of Mind 32 The Bubble! My Recipe for Tuning the World Out 34 Dear 2013 The Gay Section 38 False Confidence: The New Dating Epidemic

Screens, Shelves & Speakers 58 The Hobbit: The Drawn Out Journey to Lonely Mountain Balls 62 Learning from the Devils

Chairman Shady Sherif

Editor-in-Chief Awad El-Ghannam

facebook.com/campusmagazine @campusmaglive

Managing Editor Wessam Sherif

Creative Director Leila Tapozada

Junior Editor

Youssef Saad Eldin

Business Development Ismaeel Khoudeir

Media Executive Ghada Zayed Eslam Abd Elalim

Financial Manager Ehab A. Aziz

Chief Accountant Sherif El Haggar

Accountant

JANUARY 2013

Ahmed Serag

Office Manager Sylvia Peter

Office Assistants Ibrahim Mansour Mohamed Eid

IT Manager Ahmed Saher

Production Executive Manager Sherif Mahmoud Mahmoud El Araby

Distribution Manager Shazly Eid

Distribution

Abdelhamed Fathy Ashraf Ramadan Gamal Moustafa Karim Ibrahim Ramy Afifi Ragab Fathy Aly Afifi Mahmoud Samir

Sr. Art Director

IT’S EVERYTHING BUT PORN

Khaled Khidr

Art Director Ahmed Saad

Graphic Designers Bassem Raafat Nora El Gazzar

Writers & Contributors Amy Quotb A.K Hend Ghorab May Kamel Menna Alaa Mohamed Adel Mohammed Jamal Regina Inani Seham Kafafi Sherief Hassan Summer Nazif

Cover Credits Ahmed Saad Bassem Rafaat

CTP & Printing

Sahara Printing Company

Campus Magazine's Address 24 Abdelmenim Riyad St. Mohandiseen Tel: 3749 8730/3 Fax: 3749 8736

Emails

mail@core-publications.net info@core-publications.net customerservice@core-publications.net sales@core-publications.net

Heliopolis

69, Adidas (El-Marghany), Africana Café, C&CO (Horreyya St- El Korba), Belino Café, Blueberry (Ard El Golf ), Beano's Café (British Council – El Korba – Airport – British University), Charleston Café, Cortigiano, Café Mo, Cairo International Airport, Coffee Roastery, Colors, Cat, Diwan Bookstore, Diadora, Desire, Every Man’s Bookstore, Farah Café , Flower Market, G Live, Genga Café, Gelateria Roma Café, Harris Café, Gallery Bel3araby (El Nozha St.), House Café , Hope Flowers, Hot Pink, In Flower, Hyper Original, Khodier, Rosso Cafe, IIPennello Ceramic Café, Kan Zaman Restaurant, Le Rince, Linea, La Cassetta Retaurants, Makani, McDonalds, Mobil Mart, Mori Sushi (Salah Salem), Milk, Musicana (El Korba), Munchies Café, No Name, Nuts @ Nuts, Occo, One 4 all, Polka Dolka, Pottery Café, Schatz Café, Smart Gym (Sheraton & Ard El Golf), Roma Café, Shell Mart, Salah Beauty Salon, STR8, Spicy, Style Gym, Tres Bon, Up 2 Date, Viking Cafe, World Gym, Waffle Point, Zein, L’Aubergine

Nasr City

Adidas(Genina mall), Aroma Lounge (City Stars), Beano's Café (City stars – Makram Ebeid – Abbas El Akkad), Beka, Calvin Klein Jeans (City Stars), Casper & Gambini's, C&Co (City Stars – Geneina Mall), Esprit (City Stars), Farah Café (Geneina Mall), Le Gourment Marche, Kenouz Restaurant, ISI (City Stars), Martino, McDonalds (Abbas el Akkad), Musica (Abbas el Akkad), My Day Cafe, Pascucci Café, Ravin, Spicy (City Center - Geneina Mall) ,Virgin Megastore

Mohandiseen

Adidas/Timberland (Lebanon Street, Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Beano's Café (Gameat El Dowal Street), Beau Jardin Café, Bershka (Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Café Mo, Cedars café , C& Co, Café Bean (Aswan Sq.), Cocolina (Syria Street), Ciccio Café, Cilantro, Mohamed El Sagheer, Cocolina, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Diwan, Eventya Flowers, Laguna Café, L`Aroma Café, Makani, Marsh Café, McDonalds, Mori Sushi, Multi Stores, Non Bookstore, Pasqua Café, Quick24, Renaissance Library, Safari Café, Samia Alouba, Silviana Heach, Solitaire Café, Shoe Room, Scoop Café, Second Cup, Spectra, Spicy, Sports Café, Tommy Hilfiger, Toy Story, Trianon Café, Tornado Café, Volume One, Zarina, Zee Lounge, P 75, Al Dar, Café De Fiori

Downtown & Mokattam

AUC Bookstore, Beano's Café, Beymen, Cilantro, Maktabet El Balad, McDonalds (Tahrir), Balady

Dokki

Ahl Cairo, Adidas, Beano's Café (British Council), Coffee Roastery, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Mr. Joe, Makani, Korista Café, Momento, La Boutique, Orange, Quick24, Retro, Spicy, Tabasco, Zein, Zarina

Zamalek

Al Akhbar Bookstore, Arabica, Beano's Café, Coffee Bean, Cilantro, Cocolina, Crave, Diwan Bookstore, Euro Deli, FDA, 69, Gardenia Flowers, Goal, Googan Bookstore, Kodak Express, L'Aubergine, Makani, Mezza Luna, Mobil Mart, Mohamed El Sagheer, Mori Sushi, Munchies, Orangette, Tabasco, Quick 24, Ravin’, Romancia Bookshop, Sequoia, WIF, Zamalek Bookshop, Van Gogh Bookshop, Zafir

Maadi

Adidas, Adam Bookstore, Arthur Murray, Bakier Stationary, Bander Café, Beanos, Beau Jardin, Books & Books, Beta Bookshop, Bookspot, Caj, Euro Deli, Cat, Condetti, Chilis, Coffee Roastery, Gengra Café, Greco, Costa Coffee, El Shader, Dunes Lounge, Ghazala Stationary, Green Mill, Gudy, Kotob Khan, Kiwi, Honest Bookshop , I Spot , La Gourmandise, Makani, McDonalds, Mediterraneo Restaurants, Reebok, Renaissance Library, Rigoletto, Samia Alouba, Second Cup, Shell Shop, Shoe Room, Spectra,The Bakery, Timberland, Volume One

October City

Beano's, Byblos Café (Dandy Mall), Café Mo, McDonalds, Mexicana Café, Mori Sushi (Dandy Mall), Second Cup, Shell Shop, Solitaire, Sans Soucis Café, Trianon

El Rehab & Fifth Settlment

Food Court (Le Reve Grand Café, Jounich Café, Gauchos Café, Mercato Italiano), AUC Bookstore

Giza & Haram

Beano's, Dar El Shorouk, Mexicana Café, Polo Shop

Alexandria

24Seven Café, Adidas & Timberland (Syria st, - City Center), Banna Stationary, 24/7 Café, Adidas/Timberland, Banna Stationary, Beano's, Cillomo Café, C&CO, Cilantro, Coffee Roastery, Deekom, Mazaya, McDonalds, Quiksilver, The Sixties Café, Tamarin Center, Rapo

Tanta

Axon, Pizza Station, La Plato Café

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To each their misery, but a little perspective never hurt anyone. Man the f*ck up. @Wessam_S 4 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

] FEATURE ]

6 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

The Story of Happiness By Wessam Sherif

FEATURE

EARTH’S FIRST SUN SHONE BRIGHTLY UPON VIRGIN MOUNTAINS, COLORING THEM, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD, FOR THE FIRST TIME. A MAN WALKED SLOWLY OUT OF A CAVE AND STARED AT THE SKY, FEASTING ON THE FIRST SUNSET, ABSORBING THE BEAUTY. THEN, A CHILD WALKED OUT OF THE CAVE, HELD HIS FATHER’S HAND AND STOOD THERE, SHARING THE MOMENT WITH HIS OLD MAN. The man looked at his son and then back to the sky, and smiled, for he felt a surge of warm emotions running through his every vein, bloating his senses. He felt it, but didn’t know what it was, he didn’t even realize it was an emotion, but he felt it. And happiness was born. Happiness, a newborn child, instinctively and blindly followed its creators, the caveman and his son, learning from them and adapting to their whims. You see, happiness always tried to fit in, despite the fickleness of her companions. That’s why she tried to be a common factor in all their endeavors. She was there during the child’s first hunt, she woke up early to attend every sunrise and never went to sleep until she listened to the caveman’s night tales to his son, she basked on the beauty of a full moon and the love the of child for his father. She was there. She always tried to be there. Years later, the child became a young man, his father a senile graybeard and happiness had grown up and learned much about man herself. Meanwhile, life had also grown up and learned enough about man to commit its first murder, taking the father away from his one and only. Happiness witnessed the young man’s first tears in horror and confusion, not knowing how to adapt to his pain. She had only known how embrace his smiles and laughter, but not this, this was a new situation. Nonetheless, she approached him; she was there like she always was. But, to her surprise, the young man shrugged her off, revolting against all she stood for, mocking her, regretting having created her. Broken hearted, she left, not knowing where to go. One would assume that sadness was born at this moment, but one would be mistaken. Sadness was never born, it never came to existence. Sadness was the illusion that people wrapped themselves in when happiness departed; when they kicked her out or drove her away. And mind you, happiness, after leaving her original companions, met a lot of people as she tried repeatedly to fit in and be there. Her first encounter was with a woman who took her in, nurtured her and demanded nothing in return. It was baffling for her to be around someone who wanted nothing at all, who was so content and comfortable in her own skin that it was her who took care of happiness, not the other way around. It was simple, relaxing and it reminded her of her first days on earth. Consequently, she decided the she wanted to hang around more people who reminded her of the old days, for she wanted to be happy, she wanted someone to take care of her and help her grow. So having found purpose, happiness roamed God’s green Earth, hungry for attention and experience. And she did find plenty of what she sought: A girl who taught her how to read and enjoy music. A young man who smiles upon remembering his late parents. A couple who took her to watch the sunset every day. An old man who just didn’t give a f*ck about dying of terminal cancer. A fat guy who laughed at every insult and had no problem taking his shirt off at the beach. A young woman who was dumped many a time and still managed to

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love herself, others and fall for a man she eventually ended having a “happily ever after” with. A paraplegic who runs right into people’s hearts. Parents, during their daughter’s birth, graduation and wedding. A bunch of friends, who only found pleasure in eating and playing video games. A beggar child who always got distracted from asking for money by drawing on the pavement. A group of people who made it their life’s purpose to help others. A person who always felt free. A boss, loved by his employees. An employee quitting a shitty job. A dream coming true. A lost soul finding faith. Another lost soul questioning faith. Happiness was happy at those times. She never left so long as these individuals always remembered the reasons that kept her around. But life being life, people forgot and she eventually moved on. Nevertheless, along with the good, came the bad, and happiness had her share of people who were the reason for her current state. These are people who thought they could keep her around: The widower who taught her to drink and do drugs. The businessman who believed he could buy her off. The advertising agencies that consistently told people how to find her, continuously making up lies about what she liked and what she didn’t. The girl who was only in a good mood when her mirror said so. The young geek who was just like happiness when she was young; consistently trying to fit in, always seeking approval. The “hunk” who thought he could get in her pants, just like he does with any other girl. A young girl who drowns her misery by sleeping. The workaholic. His constant excuse was “career fulfillment”, neglecting the family he constantly claimed he was “working his ass off” for. The academic who spent her entire life studying and learned nothing about life. A person who so eagerly and competitively wanted to be with her that he hurt a lot of people in the process, losing everything eventually. The mother who worried too much about her son’s welfare that she stifled him leading to his eternal disdain of her. A man who worked on his marriage with other women. A man who gave up on her, then hated her, just like her original friend. Confused yet again, happiness took to herself, vowing never to pursue people again, because the good found it in themselves to forget her and take her for granted, even if temporarily, and the bad showed her a side to her persona she never thought existed. Happiness now shelters herself from the world, despite the never-ending pleas. And every now and then, she could hear her old friend crying again, but this time in regret for ever letting her go.

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By Mohammed Jamal

12 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

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I always say that Egypt is like a chronic disease, once you get it, it never leaves. The country as a whole is an addiction - let alone Cairo, the city that –TRULY– never sleeps! I moved to Egypt in 2002, after finishing high school in Abu Dhabi. I was too scared to live in a city as big as Cairo, so instead I decided to enroll in The University of Alexandria, just because I thought Cairo was too scary for me and since Alex is a smaller city, I would adapt more easily. Little did I know that later during my stay in Alexandria, fate would lead me into falling in love with Cairo, despite the dirt, filth, pollution, contradictions and enormousness. It will always be where my heart resides, no matter where I shall go. Moving to Cairo was not easy, in fact I had to do it gradually. At first, I stayed in Alex but most of my close friends lived in Cairo, and that’s why I went back and forth between the two cities quite often. I consequently developed a strong relationship with Cairo mainly because of my close friends. Not much later, I started having a love-hate relationship with Cairo, a relationship I’m sure millions others have with this city as well.

The Life

In Cairo, you learn to live and adapt. Let’s face it, our generation has been screwed. Football, deaths, traffic, jokes; all of the former coupled by the revolution and its aftermath were catalysts that led to our permanent emotional crash. Yet, we live, we travel, we make friends, we love, we make love, we share special moments in every single part of the city, we celebrate national, religious and non-religious occasions and we find endless ways to be happy, get emotional, be patriotic and laugh. Foreigners living in Cairo would tell you the same. Most of my foreigner friends always end up feeling like they’re home after living in Cairo for a while. They say that there’s just something magnetic about this place. It's full of crap, yet you just love it, because people know how to live, and by live I mean appreciate the life they've been given.

The Places Downtown

First of all, we have downtown, or West el Balad, where diversity lies. You'll find everyone; from the conservative to the liberal, from too Egyptian to too foreign, from extremely poor to extremely rich, from artist to activist and everything in between. Downtown is where you’ll find all kinds of places to go to, ranging from the landmark, El Borsa, to the Greek Club.

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There are many rooftops in downtown where both beer and shisha are served! There are also fancy restaurants that serve great food, Le Bistro and Swiss Inn Restaurant are great examples. And of course, there's Tahrir Sqaure with all the memories and history it has now. Not to forget, Horreya, the ahwa that serves beer.

Garden City

Close to Downtown is also Garden City, where two very important things happen: felouka rides in front of the Four Seasons, and Mahrous! For those of you who don't know Mahrous, it's THE 3arabeyet foul in Cairo. Remember 7amada bta3 Sheraton? Da ba2a Mahrous beta3 Garden City, w ye7ott 3ala 7amada lamo2akhza!

Zamalek

Zamalek is the posh neighborhood, with good food, cafés, bars and fancy shisha places (with no beer). Of course two of the most important arts and culture venues are also in Zamalek, El Sawy Culture Wheel and the Cairo Opera House. They both host major events, concerts, exhibitions and cultural festivities. Ali El Haggar, one of Egypt's most powerful oriental music singers, Omar Khairat, who needs no introduction and top local bands and artists, all have regular performances at both venues. International festivals also take place in Sawy and the Opera House like the Cairo International Jazz Festival, Cairo Film Festival and many more. It's like an overdose of arts and culture throughout the year. There are also culturally oriented places in Zamalek that you'd only know of if you spend a lot of time in Zamalek and thoroughly look for places around. There’s the Italian culture center, the Russian culture center, the DAAD and many others that always have monthly arts and cultural events, educational or otherwise. And of course, we have Zamalek's favorite rooftop, at the top of Nile Hotel on Brazil Street, where there's also shisha and beer together!

Mohandessin

I'm not a big fan of Mohandessin and Dokki, but I have had amazing memories throughout the years in those two neighborhoods and I can't deny the fact that there are a few places there that I keep going to every once in a while. There are music studios, restaurants, friends' places where house parties always are and Dokki's own rooftop, Nomad, that's off Tahrir street. Also, if you haven't tried Tout Express' fresh juice at Vinnie Square in Dokki, you should be heading there now!

Imbaba

Before I forget, I have to mention that in Imbaba there’s one of God's most precious gifts to humanity, El Brens, Malek El Kebda, Malek el Akl! Egyptian food at it's very best! It’s seriously a top notch Egyptian eating experience; I go at least once a month. It's the kind of food you need to finish, not because you're still hungry, but because it's too good to be left unfinished. And after that you can cross the river to the other side through the steel bridge that takes you from Kit Kat in Imbaba to Shobra's Corniche where the Nile Towers are. And while you cross that bridge, take a look at the Nile because you’ll be standing at the widest spot in the river stream, the view is beautiful.

Moqattam

I live in Moqattam. There are six special things about this mountain: the temperature on top is always 4 degrees less than the rest of Cairo (win), the layer of pollution that covers the city is below the top of the mountain (another win), it's a very quiet neighborhood, it's a central area despite what most people think, and the rent is cheap! Last but and most importantly, there’s El Bazbooz, or the Moqattam corniche, where you get to sit, enjoy the splendid view of Cairo, drink overpriced tea (that you'd still pay for because of the view and weather are too damn great), and if you want, smoke shisha and chitchat with friends, or just sit quietly.

Maadi

What makes this area stand out is the fact that is quite different than Cairo, it feels like it’s not even part of Egypt! There’s greenery everywhere, less traffic (except El Nasr Street) and it’s far more organized in general. The fact that it’s also full of foreigners (usually seen walking their dogs all over the place) is the reason why there’s a lot of shops that sell imported goodies. There’s also Road 9, which has a wide array of shops, cafés, ONE bar and Lucille’s, where you can get some seriously tasty meals (THE BURGER!).

Nasr City

Moving on to Nasr City and Heliopolis, to me Nasr City is a curse, but I can never deny the fact that many of my teenage memories were there. Movies at Wonderland and then billiards with the boys; we could go for six consecutive hours of hardcore billiards and then eat at Abu Rami, the best bolobeef bel beid in the world.

Heliopolis

the cafés or restaurants on Baghdad Street on a chilly, sunny weekend is a mood-setter. I've had a few of my best dates in Korba - memories that shall never be forgotten. Shisha and tea at night with the boys at Aswan while munching on sandwiches full of contradicting ingredients from Shabrawy and then later we head to one of Heliopolis' rooftops, Karvin or Horreya. Yes I'm quite fond of rooftops.

El Hussein

I spent endless nights at Zeinab Khatoun in El Hussein (especially in Ramadan), where Beit El Harrawy lies, listening to Um Kalthoum or Mohammed Mounir play in the background. Not to mention the walks down el Moez Street and concerts in Beit El Seheimy, El Ghoury and Beit El Harrawy - this whole area is a favorite of mine. Also, Coptic Cairo is a great area for history and culture geeks as well as Al Azhar Park, which is actually a proper park.

Nazlet El Semman

Horseback riding through the desert with the silhouette of the Pyramids in the background on a full moon night. Romantic much? Its loads of fun, especially in good weather. You should try that if you haven't.

The Faces

“Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.” Rod McKuen There are strangers everywhere you go, yet they all look familiar, there are even strangers in Cairo who will eventually become your friends, you just don't know it yet. Think about how many people you ran into randomly and eventually ended up being friends with. Cairo is particularly amazing in that matter, because although it's a huge city, you always get the feeling that everyone knows everyone, or maybe because our social circles intersect so haphazardly. Plus, we also have Twitter and Facebook to thank for becoming part of one big bubble. The friends you've made in this city throughout the years will remain there for as long as you live. Believe me.

The Love

Despite the horrendous traffic problem, despite the pollution, despite the unavailability of activities that have nothing to do with food and beverage, despite the sometimes harmful intersection of social circles, despite the lack of pretty scenery and despite our government, Cairo remains and will always remain where love happens. It grows on you!

Korba and the vintage areas around it are probably one of the biggest reasons why Heliopolis still retains its appeal. Breakfast and coffee at one of

No day is so bad it canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be fixed with a nap. ~Carrie Snow

[ UNDERSCORE ]

By Mohamed Adel

18 january 2013 CAMPUS

It’s a Thursday, which means that the weekend is here. Everyone is happy and excited. Well, everyone except for me. It’s not because I’m a cynical horrid person - no, that’s not the point- but a Thursday, for me, means a 12-hour shift at the Pediatrics Emergency Room. That’s 12 hours of wailing, slobbering, puking little creatures. 12 hours of screaming, freaked-out parents. 12 hours of non-stop interactions with mostly uneducated parents, dumb nurses and utterly pretentious doctors. 12 hours of running all over the place saving babies’ lives from deadly diseases and/or parents’ carelessness. 12 hours of checking my watch every 15 minutes, estimating the time left for that hand to hit that mark so I can finally go home, lie down on my bed and sob silently till I pass out. So there I was, doing some paperwork, when this family approached the doctors’ desk; the mother in her late thirties carrying a baby who looked ill, her husband and their older kid who looked about 10 years old. They handed me a chest X-ray, along with the little paper where the admitting doctor had jotted his provisional diagnosis: chest infection. I started asking them some questions to confirm the diagnosis. They did not speak; they replied in hand gestures that I could not decipher, but their 10 year-old son started giving voice to their mimes. It took me awhile to realize that the parents were mute. I was so baffled that I kept repeating the same questions until I finally got my act together and asked the mom to put the baby on the bed so I can examine his chest. As I began to explain to them what should be done next, their 10 year-old started to translate to them what I said in sign language. Not only were they mute, but they were also deaf. Although they were not the first deaf-mute people I meet in my life, I was taken aback by them. I was awed by how normally functional they were. How –apart from this plight of situationthey looked like a happily married couple living in bliss with two beautiful kids without letting their so-called “disability” hinder their lives. This couple and their little 10 year-old of a man, inspired me like no one else had done in the longest time. They were not the least bit grumpy, they were not angry at God or life, and they were not complaining. And I, the talking hearing man, was jealous. I was jealous of how gracefully they were leading their lives. It’s infuriating how we tend to find ugliness in beauty while less fortunate people take life as it comes. Dealing with this family for less than 2 hours changed my blurry notion of survival. As they were leaving, I had this tremendous urge to hug them for making it to the hospital during my shift, for picking me and making my exhausting 12 hours shift worthy. I wanted to thank them for their commitment to life, for their dedication to their kids and for their ability to thrive and function like a family regardless of the unfairness of life. They were making a vivid life out of nothing. Their life might not be the perfect life in our book, but they were happy. They had nothing and everything.

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You’re happy, you just don’t know it! By Youssef Saad Eldin

20 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

FOR ME, WRITING AN ARTICLE ABOUT HAPPINESS IS LIKE HITLER GIVING LECTURES ON TOLERANCE AND COEXISTENCE. AS A MATTER OF FACT, MANY OF CAMPUS’ WRITERS HAVE STATED THAT WRITING ABOUT HAPPINESS IS NOT REALLY THEIR THING, AND THAT LEAVES US WITH ONE OF TWO HYPOTHESES: EITHER SOMETHING IS INHERENTLY WRONG WITH EVERYBODY WRITING FOR THIS MAGAZINE OR SOMETHING IS WAY OFF WITH THE WORLD. BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY. I won’t be talking about “true happiness” and how you can achieve it, I leave that sort of thing to the Dalai Lama and the likes. I’m talking about something a lot simpler, easier, and more importantly, more concrete. I’m talking about the kind of happiness that hits you without you noticing. The type that shields you from thoughts like “when is it going to end?” and “I wish the Mayans were right.” It’s about the seemingly meaningless things in life. It has nothing to do with family, relationships, or career. In short, it’s about what everybody redundantly refers to as “the little things”. There is no specific set of things that will cheer all people up in the same way; different things appeal to different people. The following is a list including a number of things that can make most people happy: • Finding a 20 LE in an old jacket. • Watching a good movie. However, keep in mind that not all good movies are good for you at all times. I mean, you wouldn’t want to watch a movie like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind while going through a breakup! • Having the perfect meal. • Being late but finding out that traffic isn’t actually that bad and you make it to work on time. • Listening to a song you like on the radio (it’s always different than listening to it on your iPod). • Having your favorite sports team win the league. If you’re a Zamalek fan, you’ll have to be practical and settle for winning just a match. • Your favorite brand of clothes going on sale. (This one is for women only… I guess) • Enjoying a sunny day in winter. • Discovering a new good band (I know. You’re more likely to encounter a sal3awa on your way to work). • Hearing “that was amazing”. • Successfully framing someone else for your fart. • While being stuck in traffic, beggars skip your car because they realize what a cheap bastard you are. • Losing weight. Or gaining weight, as*holes. • Having a good conversation with someone you’ve just met for the first time. • Peeing after holding it in for too long. • Having a random pretty girl/ good-looking guy smile at you (unless it’s in a creepy manner). • Bumping your car but finding out that there isn’t even a scratch on it. • Playing a new, brilliant video game. • Just before you start wodoo2 to pray, you remember that you’re already metwady. • Seeing someone you don’t like on the street and actually managing to avoid him/ her unnoticed. • Catching a big fish while on a fishing trip. (I know most people won’t relate, but I had to say it) • Finding a good parking spot. • Sadly enough, taking a walk without being sexually harassed. (Obviously, for females only. Unless our problem is way bigger than we thought) • Having enough change for el sayes. • Drinking too much and waking up the following morning without a hangover. • Ordering fast food and it actually takes “30 de2ee2a ya fandem” to arrive. • Dreading waking up early the following day because it’s a Sunday only to remember that it’s actually a Saturday. • The moment when you’re standing in front of the ATM machine and you’re not sure whether your salary has been transferred to your account or not, but voila, let there be money. • The fact that the Twilight Saga is over. Praise the Lord. • Just before heading to bed you remember that you’re out of cigarettes and that you won’t be having your precious bedtime smoke, but when you double check you find that last cigarette hiding in your pack. Thing is, you don’t have to do any real effort to make any of these things happen, it just takes a bit of effort to realize how much you enjoy them instead dwelling on your misery. It’s all a matter of perspective and common sense.

UNDERSCORE

Work vs. Marriage You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to resort to killing your husband

22 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

By Regina Inani

THERE IS A HAPPY PLACE ON THIS EARTH WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR DREAM JOB AND A GREAT HUSBAND WHO SUPPORTS YOU! REGARDLESS OF WHERE THIS HAPPY PLACE IS, IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT NO WOMAN WANTS TO BE PUT IN A PLACE WHERE SHE HAS TO PICK BETWEEN HER JOB AND HER HUSBAND. OVERCOMING THIS DILEMMA DOES NOT COME EASILY; IT REQUIRES A LOT OF WORK AND PERSISTENCE. THIS IS REAL HARD WORK, ESPECIALLY FOR YOUNG PROFESSIONALS WHO ARE AT THE START OF BOTH THEIR CAREERS AND THEIR MARITAL LIVES. If you are newly married, the challenge is quite hard because not only are you multi-tasking work and your social life, but you are also building a foundation for your future life. The future of your marriage may rely a lot on how much effort you and your husband are willing to invest in this foundation. It is essential that you involve your husband in your career decisions just as he should involve you in his. This requires establishing a healthy communication framework in which you are both willing to meet half-way to work for the well-being of your marriage. Easy work? Not at all! When it comes to this specific issue, there is no handbook on the dos and don’ts. It’s all about the emotional intelligence involved in fulfilling your dream of a happy marriage while having a successful and rewarding full-time job. The big question is: how can you apply this ‘emotional intelligence’ to be able to create and maintain this balance?

Here are a few tips: • Make sure that you don’t use the master bedroom as a home office. The master bedroom should be off limits to computers and business calls! • When you first arrive home from work, make sure your husband feels that he is your first priority. Then spend some time talking together about how the day went. • Don’t use your work schedule as an excuse to bail on doing your share of the household chores. • Forget that you have a business Blackberry when you go home. If it is something that is urgent, an e-mail outside working hours wouldn’t be the best way to communicate a work crisis to you. You would definitely get a screaming phone call instead! • If you have a hard day at work, don’t let it ruin your evening at home! It is best to follow one of the below scenarios to release your work stress before going into the house: - Sit in your car for 10 minutes a block away. - Stop at a park to jog or walk. - Work out at a gym for a few minutes. - Listen to an audio book or music as you drive back home. You may now have a clue about where to do to draw the line between your professional and personal life. But what if on a loaded work day, you need to bring your work home or you have to work for a couple of hours on a weekend or during a vacation? This must have happened to you more often than not. If there is a way through which you can manage to finish your extra work by staying an extra 30 minutes at work, then definitely do that! 30 minutes of focus and accomplishment at work will be way more efficient than an hour of divided concentration and continuous distraction at home. But if you have no choice but to do some work at home, make sure that you have some sort of a buffer zone between your home office and the rest of your home. Try using one of these options: • A door • A shelf with plants or books • A screen • Hanging beads • A curtain or drapes

What if you have children? Let me put your guilty conscience at ease. While you’re considering your options, keep this vital fact in mind from Ellen Galinsky, president and co-founder of the Families and Work Institute: there is no evidence that shows children of full-time, part-time or stay-at-home moms turn out any different. “The kind of parent you are makes the biggest difference, not simply whether you are employed or not.” Stay focused on what you can do for your child instead of thinking about what you are not doing well. Always remember this: not all stay-athome moms are doing a great job at being mothers!

The following tips might come in handy: • Never miss a parents’ meeting at your child’s school. • Go on school field trips or volunteer in the classroom if you can take time off from work. • Volunteer to help after work hours -- plan parties, prepare crafts, make phone calls. • Stay in touch with your child’s teacher by phone and visit the school when possible. • Donate snacks and supplies for parties or projects. • Ask your child’s teacher to keep a journal of your child’s activities and milestones. All of these tips may be for you, but it is so important to involve your husband in your daily endeavor of trying to create a balance between work and marriage. It is pointless to commit to coming early to an empty home because your husband does not get off work before 9 pm. This life that you have is shared by you two and it is of significant importance for the health of this life and its longevity to practice ongoing two-way compromise on daily basis. You will be facing hard times in trying to maximize on your role as a wife if your husband does not meet you halfway. Take care of your job, take care of your husband and take care of your family. And most importantly, remember to take care of YOURSELF! It may not be an easy job, that’s why there are some super women out there and you can be one of them!

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” - Gustave Flaubert

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always going to be someone with a bigger toy than yours. - Daniel Craig

] OPINIONATED ] SECTION

The Vegetarian s Rant

By Seham Kafafi

THAT’S ALL FINE AND DANDY FOR ME. GO AHEAD, EAT YOUR BURGERS, STEAKS, CHICKEN FINGERS, FRIED FISH, PORK CHOPS, AND SHRIMP. ENJOY THE SIZE OF YOUR PORTIONS, THE JUICINESS, AND THE TENDERNESS OF YOUR COOKED MEAL. EAT MCDONALDS, EAT KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN, EAT AT RUBY TUESDAYS, LUCILLES, CARNIVORE, OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE, CHILI’S, AND ALL THE OTHER RESTAURANTS THAT SERVE YOUR FAVORITE MEATS.

26 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

Just don’t bring me into it. You do not need to feel sorry for me because I am a vegetarian. This was a decision that I personally made, if I wanted to take a bite of a huge Texas burger, then don’t worry I will. Except I will never have this desire. I haven’t had this desire for 9 years now, and believe me it’s not coming anytime soon. I do not need your looks of pity. I do not miss eating it either. You also do not need to feel as if you are offending me by eating meat around me. Just like it’s my choice to thrive off of vegetables, fruits, nuts, bread, and so forth, it is your choice to eat meat. I RESPECT your choice. You were raised this way. Eating meat is very common. I am aware that I live in a society that thrives off of meat. Enjoy your meal and I will enjoy mine. You do not need to lecture me on the relationship between religion and eating meat. Muslims believe that God created certain animals for our consumption including chickens, goats, and cows. Some of you may say that I am going against God’s wishes, that I am sinning, or I am doing something that is haram by being humane towards animals and that my feelings towards resisting eating living creatures is not Islamic. Let me worry about my relationship with God and what he will do to me on Judgment day, and you worry about yourself. Please do not try to convince me to eat animals. I do not push you and strike your emotions by telling you all the negative side effects of eating animals. I do not tell you that you are heartless for eating meat. I do not tell you that you have no feelings and that you disregard living creatures for slaying them for your personal enjoyment. I have never removed a piece of meat from someone’s plate in order to turn them vegetarian. Please do not squeeze the juice of chicken onto my plate, please don’t hide beef bolognese in my pasta, please don’t slip tuna in my salad. If you put meat on a dish, and then simply remove it and serve it to me, I’ll find it extremely offensive if you do not tell me. You clearly do not respect my values. I don’t care if the soup has chicken broth and there are no pieces, I will not eat it. I don’t care if you removed all the tiny pieces of chicken from the dish, I will not eat it. If there was any sort of animal contact with my food, I will not eat it. If you do not let me know what you did with my food, I repeat, I’ll consider it extremely offensive and I will not take it lightly. It isn’t a laughing matter to me at all. If I slipped a frog, a cockroach, a worm, or a snake into your food, I’m sure you wouldn’t take it very lightly. This is the exact same concept for me. Being a vegetarian is important to me. I understand that you cannot wrap your head around the concept of eliminating meat from your diet, but this is still my body, my decisions, my life. Don’t worry about my protein. Don’t worry about my health. Don’t worry about how I look. I am handling my own diet just fine. If there is ANYTHING wrong with the food I am eating, it’s not that I don’t eat any meat, it’s that I eat more chocolate than Willie Wonka intended us to. I have a sense of humor. I am ok with joking about it. In fact, I have great friends that respect my decision and it’s still a source of laughter. The reason I love them is they leave it at that. They have never taunted me, nor lectured me, nor tried to throw it in my face the greatness of eating flesh.

The things that piss me off are:

1. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you to crack eventually.” No you won’t, give up. 2. “You’re crazy for not eating meat.” Yes, I am crazy for not eating a carcass. 3. “You don’t know what you’re missing.” Yes, I do. The only thing I am missing is constipation, a bloated stomach, and uncomfortable digestion. 4. “I once knew a vegetarian that had some random disease because he didn’t eat meat.” Are you a doctor? Did you go to medical school? Did you check his blood levels, his kidney functions, his liver, his heart condition? Or did someone just drop you on the head and cause you to be outrageously ignorant to other causal factors? I am officially fed up with the rude remarks, the attacks, and the lectures. I am fed up with your lack of understanding, critical thinking, and closed-mind. We do not need to ever have a discussion about this if you will verbally shower me with your ridicule. If you have a question for me, be ready to accept my answers. I don’t give a sh*t if Stephen Hawking himself proved that animals can make your brain grow to the size of a whale. If your goal is to convince me to change my eating habits, then stop right there because you are wasting your time. Please have respect for my lifestyle. I am a vegetarian, and I’m damn proud to be one.

SECTION OPINIONATED

By Summer Nazif

28 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

A FRIEND OF MINE FOUND IT IRONIC WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT I’M WORKING ON AN ARTICLE ON HAPPINESS, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO HIM, I’M THE LEAST CHEERY PERSON HE’S EVER MET. SO, A SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLAN: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT GOING TO BE ABOUT HOW LITTLE THINGS MAKE ME HAPPY OR ABOUT ALL THE PLEASURES AND RAINBOWS AND HALF-FULL GLASSES IN LIFE, OR EVEN HOW BRIGHT THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE DARK TUNNEL IS. IF BY ANY CHANCE YOU’RE LIKE ME, ACCUSED OF ALWAYS BEING SAD AND MOROSE (HAVE A HUG, I FEEL YOU), THIS ONE’S FOR YOU: MIND TRICKS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL/SEEM HAPPIER. There are 100 billion neurons in your brain. They make connections with one another at synapses, where chemicals called neurotransmitters are released. Each neurotransmitter is a signal, a coach belting out instructions from a playbook. Every neuron listens to the coach saying “Hey, get in the game!” or “You’re not needed. Sit this one out.” If a neuron is needed, it fires a signal of its own. And so begins a recruiting process (neurons that fire together, wire together), where the signal of one neuron tells a fellow neuron to fire. The key to creating a happier brain is altering your thinking. It’s quite obvious how a particular way of thinking gives the neurons repeated practice at running a given play. Over time, the same positive thought (I will catch this ball) reinforces the strength of the positive route that’s being run. And, similarly, a negative thought (I don’t think I can catch this ball) reinforces the neurons’ familiar negative route. So, is it possible to “train” your brain to become happier? The answer is hell yeah! Here are a few ways you can. 1 - Happiness is Contagious: New research from Harvard Medical School and the University of California showed that happiness spreads through social networks, like a virus, meaning that your happiness could influence the happiness of someone you’ve never even met. They concluded that the happiness of an immediate social contact increased an individual’s chances of being happy by 15%, the happiness of a second-degree contact, such as a friend’s spouse, increases the likeliness of being happy by 10%, and the happiness of a third-degree contact -- or the friend of a friend of a friend -- increases the likelihood of being happy by 6%. So the next time you could use a happiness boost, find a friend in a good mood. Just make sure not to turn your friend into a Debbie Downer, too. 2 - Facial Expressions Can Stimulate Emotion: Smile. Even if you don’t feel happy, smile anyway. It tricks your brain into thinking you are in a good mood, and then the rest follows. Charles Darwin first posed the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings in 1872. “The free expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it,” he wrote. The esteemed 19th-century psychologist William James went so far as to assert that if a person does not express an emotion, he has not felt it at all. 3 - Happiness is a Full Schedule: Are you so busy today that you’re not even sure how you’ll make it through the rest of the week? Believe it or not, it’s better than the alternative. A study published in Psychological Science confirms that busy people are happier than those who are idle or have more “I’m bored” (insert whiney voice) downtime. Tiring as it may be, accomplishing a bazillion little things in a day is like a happy pill. On the flip side, lazy days tend to leave people feeling a little blue. 4 - Crank the Tunes Music therapy is one practice experts are increasingly suggesting helping lift the blues. A number of studies suggest that listening to music stimulates the brain to release endorphins. Research at the University of Manchester showed that listening to loud music activates a part of the inner ear called the saccule, which is connected to an area of the brain responsible for drives like hunger and pleasure seeking. So next time you’re feeling down, play a cheery song, do a little happy dance, the brain will start pumping out dopamine and we’re right back in happy town. And just like the way those smiling people you may surround yourself with will help cheer you up, so can listening to music with others. The shared experience, along with the personal, can help trump any sad feelings you’re having by weaving you in to a positive social fabric. 5 - Move It! Even a single workout can noticeably change your mood -- and for a lot longer than anyone previously thought. A 2009 study presented at the annual meeting of the American College of Sports Medicine found that the post-exercise “glow” can last as long as 12 hours, happily affecting your entire day. Scientists aren’t exactly sure why it works so well: because it relieves stress, acts as a distraction, stimulates production of neurotransmitters (including endorphins—which have painkilling properties and can bring feelings of euphoria—as well as serotonin and dopamine), or all of the above. So if you’re sick of always coming off as sad and depressed, trick your mind into thinking you’re happy and you might just be! Also, let me know if it works, I have finals so I can’t risk it!

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” -Erma Bombeck

ÂŠ Bill Watterson

opinionated

By Amy Quotb

32 january 2013 CAMPUS

I can get in my bubble faster than you can say «bubble». And it's a powerful bubble too, because it engulfs every other bubble known to man. My bubble is a huge umbrella, called self-empowerment, under which everything else falls into place. You see, life has taught me -so far- that only I can stir my life. Nobody else calls the shots in MY life, and if I let anyone do that then I have only myself to blame. Simply, nobody else should drive me I Choose To Remain Here I didn't choose to be here in the first place, yes. But I know deep down that I have the choice to get out. Now THAT feels good. Religion and folk belief aside, I know that I can end this game with a click-of-a-button type of decision. As morbid as this sounds, believe me, it gets me through a whole lot of crap that I don't want to go through. I just keep reminding myself that I remain existing by choice, that I'm facing this sh*t by choice and that I can say “game over” if I choose to do so. It makes it a lot easier to endure all the -lemons?- that life throws at me. I'm playing along just because I want to know how far I can get. Will I get to the final round? Will I beat the 'final boss' or will I run out of lives before I reach his castle? It's just a game to me.

I Belong To Me This is the second motto that really relieves me. I don't feel a belonging to any place or anyone, which makes me practically free. Mind you, I know this makes me sound cold, but I see love and connection completely different from belonging. There's nothing I can't live without, but I choose to live WITH because of love and connection. Many people accuse me of being rootless and that I don't care, because I believe that my roots may be different from theirs. Their roots grow outwards, and attach to things outside of them, while mine grow inwards, just gluing me together.

Things Don't Have To Happen For a Reason If I keep telling myself that things happen for a reason, and with my super analytical self, I'll probably go mad. But I'm okay with believing that things don't have to happen for a reason, or maybe I'm not meant to know all the reasons. Sometimes I decide to do things “just because”, so I guess it’s okay for the universe to f*ck me over “just because” every once in a while. And as long as I haven't decided to get out just yet, I'll just pick myself up and move on... Just because!

I'm Only Human I believe that I'm half-god half-demon. And by accepting that, I'm okay with making mistakes. It's perfectly fine to say 'Whoops, I f*cked up! Who doesn't?' and do your best not to make the same mistake again. I'm not going to put myself down, I have enough of everyone else trying to do that. I'm going to do my best to fix it, but I won't blow it out of proportion. And if I hurt in the process, too bad, I get hurt in people's processes all the time. It's just how the world works.

The Matrix And because I believe that all of this makes up my “matrix”, I can go there when the going gets tough. This matrix is the umbrella under which all my guilty pleasures fall. This is where I go to stabilize and recharge, watching a movie or reading a book, listening to music, dancing, gobbling Nutella blobs, crying, or having an utter nervous breakdown. This is how I heal, because I know that everything will be okay, because everything is under MY control, no matter how hard the universe tries to convince me otherwise.

SECTION OPINIONATED

Dear 2013 By Menna Alaa

34 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

LET’S PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE, YOUR SISTER, 2012, WAS THE BAD APPLE IN THE FAMILY. IN HER COMPANY, WE SUFFERED DEATH, OPPRESSION AND DEPRESSION. WE HAD A BITTERSWEET TASTE OF DEMOCRACY AS WELL. SHE PROMISED GREAT THINGS JUST LIKE 2011, YET SHE COULDN’T KEEP UP HER PROMISE AND FAILED MISERABLY. SO, YEAH, LET’S PUT NEW RULES TO THE GAME HERE; THIS TIME WE WILL CONTROL OUR DESTINY, NOT YOU. THIS TIME YOU WILL BE REQUESTED TO GO WITH THE FLOW WITH US INSTEAD OF IMPOSING THINGS WE DON’T WANT. THIS TIME WE MAKE UP THE RULES OF THE GAME; WE WILL BE THE ONES WHO CHANGE THE ABNORMALITIES YOUR SISTER WAS ABLE TO CREATE INSIDE EACH ONE OF US. SO YES, WHAT DO WE WANT? We want our youth back especially that your sister’s events aged us 20 years. We want the good music of John Lennon and co. to return, because let’s be honest, your sister’s crush on One Direction was quite the disappointment. We want the visionary art of movie creation back, seeing that your predecessor has proven to be the worst critic after the latest Breaking Dawn movie. We want our smiles again because seeing death around all over and getting shot by the police weren’t the best things one could go through. We want every child with cancer to feel less pain, we want every child with special needs to feel equal. We want people to look us again into our eyes and tell us that we are the heroes they never were instead of cursing us. We want to fulfill the wish of every martyr who always hoped that the country will evidently be a better place to live in. We want to fulfill the wish of every martyr’s mom who still believes that justice will be served. We want to fulfill the aspirations of Sheikh Emad Effat, Alaa Abdel Hady, Anas, Jika, and Islam. We want to be equal, I want the daughter of my housekeeper to have the same rights as me, we don’t want to see fear in each others’ eyes. We want the government to treat us like human beings with dreams, dreams they can’t kill, dreams that are probably more consistent than any action they would ever take. We want Assiut’s 50 kids to forgive us for not asking for safety measures on roads earlier. We want the elders to leave us alone, for sometimes our desires are stronger than their experiences. We want them to sit back after we suffered from the consequences of their generations’ mistakes. We need love, we need to be loved back, we need someone to tell us it will be alright. We need to be told that when one trips, one can always stand on their feet again. We want to speak up, for we’ve had our share of life gagging us, we’ve had enough of boundaries. We want to be able to say that we’re different, we don’t want fingers to be pointed at us, we don’t want to be ordered to shut up because our ideas are divergent. We don’t want to follow and obey like sheep, we want our own brains to be our leaders, we want our own actions to lead us somewhere. Dear 2013, Don’t stand in our way, don’t be an obstacle and let us win.

SECTION

TEDxCairo 2012 Does it Again!

IN LIGHT OF THE POSITIVE TONE WE’RE ADOPTING THIS ISSUE, WE DECIDED THAT IT WOULD ONLY BE APPROPRIATE TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON TEDXCAIRO’S LATEST CONFERENCE, COLLISIONS. The fact that Egypt is now going through one of the roughest phases of economic, social and political instability did not prevent TEDxCairo from holding its annual conference on the 1st of December. Collisions was held at the AUC’s New Cairo campus, where 28 speakers covered a wide array of topics including medicine, economics and philosophy. Ahmad El Esseily, the prominent TV and radio host and author of 2 bestselling books, was one of TedxCairo’s speakers. Esseily is well known for his reflections and his dissection of the Egyptian society and way of life. Mohamed Dahshan, a research fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government, spoke of entrepreneurship in light of his experience as a consultant for several international organizations and governments on small and medium enterprises growth policies. Yasmeen El Shawy is a graphic designer who was diagnosed at the age of one with spinal muscular atrophy, a disease that severely affected her ability to move. Although Yasmeen is unable to move without an electric wheelchair, she overcame her disadvantage and is now studying

36 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

graphic design. Along with her freelance work and her volunteer work for Productive Muslim, Yasmeen’s story is truly a great inspiration. Founder of the renowned Egyptian Sarcasm Society ESS and CEO of Sarcas-tech (Egypt), Kareem Sami, talked about Building Communities. Sami is a 24 year old medicine school senior who has a notable interest in psychology and philosophy. Khaled Bichara, co-CEO of Accelero Capital and co-founder of LINKdotNET spoke of starting a business and what it takes to turn it into a successful one. Also, among the speakers was Youssri Helmy, an entrepreneur who cofounded several startups worldwide. Helmy co-founded and served as the CEO and chairman of ITWorx, which eventually became one of the largest software services providers in the Middle East. Voiceover actor, writer, and comedian Khalid Mansour was the event’s MC. Mansour maintained a very friendly and engaging atmosphere with the audience.

]THE GAY SECTION ] SECTION

The New Dating Epidemic By A.K

LIFE ALWAYS TENDS TO SURPRISE PEOPLE. YOU THINK AN ORANGE IS AN ORANGE, AND POOF, IT’S AN OVERSIZED, AWKWARD-LOOKING, MOLDY PARSNIP— OR SOME RANDOM VEGETABLE TO THAT EFFECT. I SWEAR THERE IS A POINT TO THAT RANDOM ANALOGY, JUST BEAR WITH ME.

38 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

Throughout my teenage and early adult years, I was the cutesy chubby girl with the ‘amazing’ personality. Constantly surrounded by people who always had some sort of male attention that wasn’t more than just platonic, I always wondered if something, other than my weight, was wrong with me. For my own sanity, I concluded not. I continued to live my life as the girl with many guy friends, yet was always ‘friendzoned’ by these guys. They’d always tell me how amazing and cute I was, they’d tell me how I would make the perfect girlfriend; boosting my false confidence for short periods of time. After those brief flashes of confidence fade away, I always came back to the same questions: “If I am as amazing as everyone says I am, then why am I single?” or “If you think I’d make the perfect girlfriend, why aren’t you dating me?” Fun, huh? In any case, most people would come to the same conclusion; I was too chubby to be attractive enough for someone to date. Clearly that was the reason, right? With that fatalistic thought in mind, along with various other self-esteem issues, I decided to drop the weight, be healthy, and in turn, gain the confidence (and body) I needed to attract the opposite sex to something other than just my personality. The new thinner me would be the answer to my singlehood, or so I thought. Almost three years after my supposed epiphany as to the cause of my general unhappiness, I worked my butt off (literally and figuratively), dropped the weight, got healthy, and started strutting my stuff. Gaining the physical confidence I had lacked for most of my life, I naively thought that meeting new people and actually managing to hold on to a man would finally prove to be easy. Oddly enough, and to my disappointment, meeting people and finding men of interest proved to be much more difficult than anticipated. It’s funny how when one gains confidence in their physical appearance, they lose confidence in their personality, which they once believed was their strong suit. The thing is, at first, my sense of humor, kindness, and general friendliness seemed to somewhat compensate for my lack of physical appeal, and now, I feel the opposite is true (and I mean this is the most un-snobby and non-arrogant way possible).

As I began, once more, to branch out, I noticed a pattern; at my age, *cough* 26 *cough*, there are four types of guys out there—mind my generalization, but I speak from personal experience. Male type 1: Married/engaged/ in a serious relationship, off limits. Male type 2: Gay/ closet gay, not the route I was going for. Male type 3: Wants to have fun and mess around, been there, done that. Male type 4: Too young, don’t even get me started on this one. I know we’ve all heard this before, but it still remains true: finding someone who is single and at the same life stage as you is almost impossible these days; either that or something is severely wrong with me. At the end of the day, what I’ve now come to realize is that everything happens in due time. Being chubby gave me confidence in my personality while being healthy gave me confidence in my physical appearance, and now as I am finally starting to gain confidence in both simultaneously, I now understand things more clearly. You can be fat, ugly, gorgeous, dumb, intelligent, blah, bah, blah, and at the end of the day, how you carry yourself is what matters. This is what attracts the opposite sex to you. This is what will ultimately lead to your happiness. With a lack of confidence in our physical appearance we tend to overcompensate with excessive friendliness, which ultimately leads one straight in to the ‘friend-zone’ while with lack of confidence in personality, we tend to overcompensate in attempted sex-appeal, and we all know where that leads. One way or the other, we don’t want to be in either place. We must all learn to accept that no matter how many new people you meet, how your thighs look, or how dumb you might think you are, we are responsible for what we draw to ourselves. As I bask in all my dating epiphanies, I can do nothing but wait, grow, and learn. Dating is not something that comes easy to all, and at the end of the day, everything is an experience. Hone in as much energy and clarity from your past experiences, and fold them into your present and future. I am still in this transitional phase, and I have yet to perfect the dating game, but slowly, yet surely, I am on my way. So I leave you with this, don’t want what you can’t have, want what you already do have. That way, someone else will want it too; all of it. They will come straight to you.

Let me explain. I’m not quite sure where I went wrong, but as I entered my supposed ‘prime’ I had hoped to find someone who would appreciate my newfound physical confidence as well as my personality. However, as of late, all the male encounters that I have dealt with, have mostly, if not all, been completely about physicality (again, I mean this is the most non-slutty manner possible). It seemed that now, guys wanted to get to know me for physical reasons rather than personal ones, which in turn, made me question the attractiveness of my personality. This made me feel cheap, unwanted, and even lonelier than before. Ironic isn’t it? The big question here is where does the fault lie? Is it me? Is it men? What? I had recently decided to shake off all my negative dating experiences, both as the chubby girl and as the not-so-chubby girl and go back out there and attract the right kind of guy. Confidence in both personality and physical appearance (supposedly) back, I started to branch out, or at least tried to. The thing is, where does one start to look for new people to meet? I began to join exercise groups, go out with new people, meet friends of friends, and even go along with the occasional set up. What I came to realize quickly was that it was not going to be an easy task. I was always so consumed with the idea of just finding someone who was interested in me, that I began trying to attract men in the wrong ways. I had a newfound confidence in my physical appearance, but still was stuck in the mindset of the chubby girl, which inevitably meant that I would allow for men to walk all over me, hence, I escaped the friend zone only to enter the friends-with-(some) benefits zone. For example, I was in a sort-of relationship, where I was expected to act like a girlfriend, yet allow for the guy to do whatever he wanted. In other words, I was in a relationship, without actually being in one. The guy obviously wins with that one. This second dating epiphany made me realize that I was selling myself short, settling for those who were kind of fun, kind of my type, kind of attractive to me, and kind of giving me what I wanted. Then, I decided to ‘date’ properly, and only seek out those who I truly felt were genuinely interested in me, have common interests, and are at the same stage of life that I am.

THE GAY SECTION

How to Have a Non--Awkward Non- Awkward First Date

It›s an effing jungle out there. In a world of 7 billion people, how many of them do we actually not mind being in a room with? And out of those, how many do we actually LIKE, and by “like” I mean kissy-kissy like, not “If you WhatsApp me I might actually reply sometime this century” like. Finding a normal, non-annoying person who you like and might actually like you back is no easy feat, and most of us go and ruin it by going on a first date that›s so awkward, it’d make you cringe for years to come. But don’t worry, even though the idea of a first date may loom ominously over your head, it›s possible to make it out alive with as little trauma and scar tissue as possible. Follow me this way please, as I try to navigate you through the murky awkward depths of dating in Egypt and try to bring you out unscathed on the other side:

40 january 2013 CAMPUS

Possible Awkward Situation #1: Take two cars or one car? Although it may seem nice and chivalrous of the guy to pick the girl up, it's really best for the first date if the couple arrives separately. You never know how the date is going to pan out, and you don't want to be stuck with the person for longer than necessary if things take a disastrous turn (and knowing Cairo traffic, you might get stuck together in the car for a looooooong time). Having your own car works as a quick exit strategy if you decide you're actually bored out of your mind; just pull any excuse out of your hat and haul ass out of there.

Possible Awkward Situation #2: Watch what you eat. And I'm NOT talking about eating like a bird if you're a girl, to show how ra2ee2a you are. No, I mean that no one wants to see you (a girl or a guy) sucking up spaghetti with sauce smeared all over your mouth, or rolling up your sleeves to show that grilled chicken who's boss. Save that for at least Date 5. Your date might not remember exactly what you were wearing that day, but they'd definitely remember you with grease running down your chin. Order something that has least potential of making you look like a pig or spilling on yourself.

Possible Awkward Situation #3: Have a back-up plan. Is there anything in this world as bad as awkward silences? Besides Morsi, that is? A moment of awkward silence to me is even worse than a moment sprinting on the treadmill, and God knows, I hate the treadmill. But sometimes you just find yourself in one of those situations where the conversation fades out, and you're left staring blankly at each other and for the life of you, you can't thing of a single damn thing to say. In these situations, it's best to be prepared in advance. Have a few stories saved up and on the tip of your tongue for that moment when things turn awkward.

Possible Awkward Situation #4: Don't put your foot in your mouth. Um. We're speaking metaphorically but obviously this should be taken literally as well, if you have a self-foot fetish or something of the sort. There are certain topics that are just destined to be awkward and are best left until you know each a bit better, and these include exes, family drama, the deaths of people close to you, any suicidal thoughts, etc, etc. Try to keep things light and flirty and remember that you're on a date, not a therapy session.

Possible Awkward Situation #5: Don't become a drunken buffoon. A drink or two is fine to take the edge off and to relax, but careful not to drink too much lest you become that guy/girl who makes a fool of themselves and then can't remember the details the next day. Getting drunk has a whole unhappy array of potential horribleness -- falling on your face, rambling like an idiot, throwing yourself at your date, saying embarrassing sh*t, going further physically than you would've preferred to, drunk-calling/texting your date after you're home, being unable to drive and/or throwing up in front of, or God forbid, ON your date.

Possible Awkward Situation #6: Don't act like a neanderthal. Don't stare at her boobs. Don't whip out your makeup mirror and check yourself at the table. Don't fiddle with your phone too much. Don't keep looking at your watch. Don't stay so long in the bathroom that your date thinks you have explosive diarrhea. Don't stare at your date's phone when it rings. Don't let your phone ring/beep throughout the night, put it on silent. Don't pick your teeth.

Possible Awkward Situation #7: The cheque. If you're a guy, etiquette and Hollywood movies call for you to pick up the cheque on the first date. Make sure you bring enough cash and an emergency credit card (that works), just in case. Don't make choking noises when you see the bill. If you're not planning on paying for her (no judgment, we all have our short-on-cash days), then trust me, honestly telling her, “I'd love to pay for the whole thing but I'm kind of broke these days,” is way better than just putting your share of the money down w ba3dein te3mel shagara. Any girl would prefer a broke guy than a cheap guy. If you're a girl, don't just rest easy assuming he'll pay. Make sure you have enough money that in case he DOESN'T pay, you're not like, “ummm ma3aya khamsa geneih, and end up looking like an idiot. If he makes a move to pay for the both of you, put in a few little polite protests but then just drop it and thank him sincerely. Don't stare at the wall above his head when the cheque comes, you're not a Disney princess, at least offer to pay even if you know he won't let you. Make sure you thank him again before you both leave.

Possible Awkward Situation #8: Saying good-bye. Now saying good-bye has the potential to be more awkward than saying hello, because you've now spent some considerable time together. Do you hug good-bye? Shake hands? Te-salem bel bos? Make out? Nod politely? There's nothing worse than going in for a hug or kiss right as your date sticks out their hand to shake. It's really about knowing the background of your date -- are they a bit conservative or more laid-back? If conservative, stick for a hand shake to be on the safe side. If more laid-back, try to jumpstart your memory into action - have you seen them do the hipster hug or the breezy kiss-kiss? If by any chance some mishap happens, for example she reaches in to hug or kiss you at the same moment you stick out your hand, hence accidentally poking her in the boob, don't just turn red and pretend like nothing happened and then try to drive your car off a bridge. Just laugh it off and try to make the other person not feel awkward either. It'll be a funny story when you guys get to know each other better.

At the end of the day, let's put things into perspective. This is a first date, not your wedding day, so if something goes awry at least there's no video cameras to catch it and mothers to comment on it while watching the footage. Awkward situations are the bane of our existence, it's true, but if you follow the above as well as just have a sense of humor about everything, who knows, you might actually make it to Date Number Two.

SECTION THE GAY SECTION

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT AN OBJECTIVE ARTICLE. AS A MATTER OF FACT, THIS ISN’T EVEN ARTICLE. THIS IS A LOVE NOTE. For all the pains you have cured, for all the times you’ve been there for us when no one else was, for all the good moments you’ve created and for the unprecedented help you’ve provided humanity: we love you. • You juicy creatures never ask dumb questions, you listen and understand. • You make us fat and jolly, not skinny and sad. • You are the most effective antidepressant mankind has ever known and with the least possible side-effects too (this might not be scientifically proven yet, but we all know it). • Your versatility is inspiring; one can add ANYTHING on top or under you and your character can never be overshadowed. You still pull through. • You never disappoint; hot or cold, you’re always a bottomless source of happiness. • Unlike others, there is no such thing as too much of you. • You kill us softly by causing colon cancer in the long term, generously shortening our miserable lives. • You are the one and only known vaccine to hangovers. Paracetamol, suck on that! • You + Man (or Woman) + French fries = the best threesome anyone can ever have (I might take this one back when I actually have a threesome, but what are the odds of me getting into one? Exactly). Thank you for existing. For that, we mortals are forever in your debt, burgers. Decks of love, Mohamed Adel, on behalf of mankind.

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SECTION ] ] PATTERNS

‫ ‏‬rimark - Gold P platform glitter shoe boot

‫‏‬Le

re e th

‫ ‏‬isguidedM Sparta leather shift dress

‫‏‬Office- Dilly dally boot

‫& ‏‬M- Leather H everyday bag

‫‏‬Debenhams- Cat sweater

‫ ‏‬ilot- Studs spikes high heel P dark red sole shoe in black ‫ ‏‬iver Island – R Dominatrix bustier

el e ‫‏‬ H

p U d

‫‏‬H&M – Beige boots

Women ‫‏‬Flo

wer

ed U

‫‏‬NEXT- Purple floral shift dress ‫‏‬Accessorize - Pansy clutch

‫‏‬George- Flower chemise

Zara – Platform ankle boot with laces

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‫ ‏‬arks & M SpencerAutograph jeans

‫ ‏‬SOS- Slim A jean with authentic wash

H&MKnitted scarf with a fringe trim

‫‏‬H&M- Slim low jeans

‫‏‬Scarfed Up

ed ‫ ‏‬enim D

Up ‫‏‬H&M- Canvas blue sneakers

‫‏‬Zara- Sneakers with stud detail

‫‏‬Sne

ake

H&M- Jacquardknit scarf in a wool blend

red

MEN ‫‏‬G-Star Raw- Core II Gamma Logo sneaker

‫‏‬ASOS - Acid wash jacke

‫‏‬Next-Fairisle pattern scarf

‫‏‬Hudson- Crowe beige loafers (

‫‏‬ASOS- Leopard trainer

PATTERNS

‫‏‬International Fashion News Outfit of the Month Goes to Elle Macpherson Elle Macpherson still wows us at the age of 49 at The Sun Military Awards in London. The supermodel was caught in a strapless black Suzanne Neville mermaid gown. Looking finer than the 20 year old girls, Macpherson’s gothic mermaid outfit complimented her California loose beachy blonde hair and kohl-outlined eyes.

Do I Smell Pizza? This month, the most peculiar product goes to Pizza Hut’s perfume that was created to revolutionize the world of perfumery. Everyone loves the smell of pizza cooking in the oven. Well, now you don’t have to cook nor eat pizza to enjoy its smell, Pizza Hut came up with an idea that will blow your ‘nose’ away. This crazy idea began on the social media powerhouse Facebook, where Grip Limited, an advertising firm that works for Pizza Hut, decided to ask fans to come up with the name for the coolest pizza fragrance, and the response was so high and positive that the hypothetical idea became reality. But what’s even cooler is that Grip Limited decided to make a limited line for this fragrance by making only 100 bottles and distributing them to the first Facebook fans that commented.

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Photo Shoot of the Month: Mrs. Timberlake is Mrs. Elle Jessica Biel’s wedding was followed by her best photo shoot yet. She won best photo shoot of the year- and in our personal opinion, one of the best photo shoots in 2012. Shot in the hottest outfits of the year as Biel gets cozy with the world’s biggest designers. Biel was seen posing with Giambattista Valli, Azzedine Alaïa, Jean Paul Gaultier, the team at Maison Martin Margiela, and Christian Louboutin at their most favorite and desired ateliers and spots all across Paris. Our favorite pieces in the shoot were the Alaïa python bra top, the Gaultier suit, and the macramé shorts coupled with the matching tweed jacket by Valli. Mrs. Timberlake showed us that at the age of 31, she exudes nothing but beauty and supermodel-ness.

Victoria’s Women Awareness Secret Victoria’s Secret’s line, PINK, has launched a new line called Pink Loves Consent. With time, it was revealed that the activist group, FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, has used VS to promote a new line of lingerie that includes underwear that says “No Means No” aimed to raise awareness for the fight against rape. However, this line is not for sale. FORCE is the brains behind the witty campaign and they partnered with PINK to promote their agenda. Thumbs up to FORCE for taking this initiative, and to Victoria’s Secret for aiding in the campaign. Check out the description of the line on VS’s website: “PINK loves CONSENT is our newest collection of flirty, sexy and powerful statements that remind people to practice CONSENT. CONSENT is a verbal agreement about how and when people are comfortable having sex.”

PATTERNS

If you don’t want option 8, get yourself a Me By Alia’s Back Patchwork Cardigan to make any boring outfit loud.

Use your Me By Alia’s leather collar pullover in white everyday in winter, at both, mornings and nights.

Get lazy and comfortable with Amna Amer’s Asymmetric Vest with a leopard accent.

Winter it up with the Sisters’ Leather Zig Zag Vest.

Bedazzle your outfit with an Ain Maha’s Tweedania shoulder bag, covered with purple and emerald green tweed fabric.

Punk it up with Mahy Designs’ Skull Key Double Ring. Made out of 19k gold-plated sterling silver, the double finger ring is encrusted with Zirconia.

Louli’s Princess Precious Evening Clutch is a must have.

Get native with Karma From Egypt by purchasing its Luxor Dress which has a navy skirt with a belted detail for a lower half.

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Amina K blows our mind again with her Back Ruffle Chiffon Jacket.

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“Advance to Go. Collect $200.”

7 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

“Most important thing in life is learning how to fall.” ― Jeannette Walls

Mohamed El Saadany: The Talent Behind ElGTV’s Fotoshop WE DECIDED TO INTERVIEW ONE OF ELGTV’S RISING TALENTS, MOHAMED EL SAADANY. SAADANY IS A GRAPHICS DIRECTOR WHOSE SPOOFS HAVE CREATED A BUZZ ALL OVER THE INTERNET THROUGHOUT THE PAST FEW MONTHS. SAADANY IS ALSO THE CREATOR OF FOTOSHOP, A SHOW ON ELGTV THAT CRITICIZES THE “ARGUABLY SUBJECTIVE” MEDIA IN EGYPT IN A SATIRICAL MANNER. Campus: What’s your main field of interest? Is it comedy or animation? Saadany: I’ve always been interested in animation, which in most cases is a form of comedy. I find them both interrelated. C: How did you get involved in making spoofs? And was that the first thing you worked on? S: After the revolution, black comedy took over the internet. Tragic events were used to come up with funny material to cheer people up. People used reactions from TV anchors to create spoofs and post them on YouTube. This was when I first started my spoofs, but before that, I worked on several animation shows. C: How did you make the transition from making spoofs and posting them on the internet to having your own show on ELGTV? S: ELGTV contacted me and told me that they were interested in my work so I came up with the idea for my show, Fotoshop, and they decided that they’ll take it.

C: What’s the difference between working alone and working with ELGTV? S: It’s pretty much the same regarding the freedom I have in choosing each episode’s direction and content, which is one of ELGTV’s best qualities. At the end of the day, this is the whole point of “undirected media”. On the other hand, working with ELGTV gave me the chance to try to further improve my work. C: What’s your next step? S: I believe that people will lose interest in any work of art if it remained stagnant and lacked further development and improvement. Now, I’m trying to work on my spoofs to further improve it and make it evolve to a new level. C: Thank you!

SECTION SHELVES & SPEAKERS ] ] SCREENS,

54 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

The Drawn-out Journey to Lonely Mountain By May Kamel

IN THE WORDS OF NO LESS AN AUTHORITY THAN GANDALF HIMSELF, “ALL GOOD TALES DESERVE EMBELLISHMENT”. AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT PETER JACKSON DID WITH THIS INSTALLMENT OF THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY, BUT IN A GOOD WAY, THAT IS. Based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s shortest book in the Middle Earth series The Hobbit or There and Back Again (320 pages), it’s quite the stretch to make the movie into three installments, but hey, money talks. In their defense though, they didn’t go cheap on us; they put the money on the screen in this one. The movie opens with a quick history on the myths of Middle Earth relating to this particular story - a crash course on the circumstances in which the dwarves were forced to wander the wilderness after losing their home of Erebor to the fiery dragon Smaug. This is followed by a visit to Bag End, Hobbiton, Westfarthing and The Shire in Middle Earth, on the same day and same year that the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings movie begins, with some of the same characters reprising their roles: Bilbo (Ian Holm) and Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood). Bilbo is busy at Bag End writing the account of his big adventure, the storyline of this movie. Rewinding 60 years back in time, young Bilbo (Martin Freeman) is approached by Gandalf the Gray (Ian McKellen) to join him on an adventure, and before he knows it, he’s with an uninvited passel of hungry dwarves. Initially reluctant to join Gandalf and his band of dwarves on their quest, Bilbo finds himself consenting to a contract disavowing any liability for “injuries sustained, including but not limited to laceration, evisceration, and incineration.” He ditches his comfort zone to, later on, realize depths of guile and courage he never knew he had. Familiar with J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic writings or not, it’s more likely that you’ll get lost in this world of extremes that begins on verdant green hills with hobbit holes just before leaving on a journey through exacting, traitorous cliff-side passages towards the far-away quest: the Lonely Mountain. Since this movie is the first of a series of three installments, Bilbo and the dwarves are a long way away from their destination, but they’re well set. A bit under three hours, the movie is all about encounters. Scene after scene, Jackson piles up on action and incident (that are at some points uncalled for), where the party goes face to face against a Great Goblin and his terrible horde, a brutal orc warlord who bears a longstanding grudge against Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) and the Dwarf King, among other things.

At some point, it felt as though Jackson was rather cross-promoting his previous three babies! The meeting with the Elf Lord Elrond (Hugo Weaving), later on expanded to include Rings veterans Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) and Saruman (Christopher Lee) to deliberate the dark tidings sweeping the land, including the discovery of an evil relic: a “Morgulblade” forged for the Witch-King of Angmar (the Lord of the Nazgul). And while Jackson decided there were way too many details in the previous LOTR trilogy that there was no space for some characters, Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy), for instance, is given his fair share of on-screen appearance this time around. While the movie is, no doubt, action-packed, the scene where Bilbo meets Gollum is most memorable and, for my money, is the best part of the movie. Once again, Andy Serkis brings his brilliance to action, but this time with even more character, with Gollum being delightfully passiveaggressive and generates called-for humor too. General consensus? It’s not the best adaptation for a fan of the book(s), but it’s not Twilight either (not that I have read or seen those ones). Despite the bloated length and the twist-and-turn plot, it’s worth watching. Despite the lack of females, the characters are rich. The dialogue is engaging. And most importantly, this is the debut of high frame rate 3D. If you are still confused and you don’t think that shooting at 48 frames per second as opposed to 24 is a huge deal, think twice. On a different, more earthly note, specifically two seats away from me at the movie theatre, a “Nesreen” was totally clueless about what’s happening in Middle Earth, she made me and her significant other ready to slash our wrists. Dear, we would understand if you’re not a LOTR fan, but we sure as hell do not tolerate you invading our space with your questions. People, let’s do this once and for all. Here are 10 things we don’t think anyone should ask/say WHILE watching anything LOTRrelated: 10- Why are his feet big? 9- Who is the tall guy? 8- Heya di Cate Blanchett? 7- Takhayyal ne3eesh fel makan da? Where are they shooting anyway? 6- Is this the ring? 5- Why is he disappearing? 4- I hate people who talk in third person. 3- I don’t get why hobbits love food. 2- I’m bored. 1- You’re my precious.

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” ― Anthony Bourdain

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills.” - Audrey Hepburn

the munchies

Let’s face it, sometimes we just don’t want a fancy burger. Sometimes we don’t want avocados and berries and cheese with names we can’t pronounce. Sometimes we just want a burger that brings back happy memories - memories of being a kid and of running around doing dumb kid things, and at the end of the day being awarded with a simple burger which, at that moment in our lives, tasted like THE BEST THING ON EARTH. Lido, newly-opened in Zamalek, is bringing that feeling back to us, one burger and hot dog at a time. The burgers are fashioned after those of the Gezira Club (hence the name) - the burgers of our childhood, before we understood what “mushroom n’ swiss” meant. They actually brought in the same chefs who used to grill up our burgers in the club back in the day! They’re simple, down-to-earth burgers, grilled right in front of your eyes and topped with either ketchup, mustard or tehina. They’re highly addictive and we bet you a substantial amount of money that you can’t limit yourself to just one.

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Lido itself is a small little take-away place on Shagaret el Dor street in Zamalek, with a few stools to either watch your food be prepared or to eat and flip through a magazine. The restaurant’s theme is “nostalgia”, which describes their kind of food exactly! The menu is simple: either burgers or hot dogs, which are also grilled right in front of you. Their fries are homemade and cut like fat chips -- crunchy on the outside but soft and steaming on the inside, and served in a cone which you’ll have to protect from your friends the whole night because we couldn’t stop stealing fries from each other, they’re that good. Sticking with their nostalgic theme, they also have lemon and tangerine slushies which are good even in the dead of winter, and soft-serve vanilla ice cream. And trust us, even though it’s the beloved burger of kids, it’s the kind of the place that adults will crave just as much (if not more).

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older. ~Tom Stoppard

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“Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!” 1 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

]SECTION BALLS ]

Learning from

the Devils By Sherief Hassan

62 JANUARY 2013 CAMPUS

OUT THERE, BEYOND CHAOTIC CRASHING WAVES AND VIOLENT WINDS, LIES HOPE. THROUGH SKIES DARKER THAN FAILURE AND DESPITE THE HORRID TIMES OF FOOLISHNESS AND DESPAIR, A BEACON STILL SHINES. DESPITE THE LOSS OF EVERY SENSE OF PRIORITY, DESPITE ALL THE DESPITES... Out there, there is Al-Ahly. Yes, that was a dramatic intro, but trust me, it’s rightly placed. Setting an example not only for football teams and athletes, but for every existing person and entity out there, Al-Ahly has proved that it is the true definition of how to keep your head down and focus only on getting the job done. A trait that’s seldom seen in life with such profoundness, and almost never seen in this country, at least not recently. People are infamous for excuses when they fail. Governments and politicians lie to cover up for their other lies. Others are renowned for being “too busy” to ‘enter complaint here’. But in reality, the aforementioned examples could have never had to cover for their mishaps (not the lies, no remedies there) if a very simple check list of priorities was created and committed to. Allow me to refresh your minds on the backdrop to the achievement of Al-Ahly: they have won the African Champions League and reached the semi-finals of the Club World Cup, winning the accolade of African Team of the Year in the process. That sounds rather normal for a team with Al-Ahly’s pedigree, but truth be told, no one in his right mind would have ever laid as much as a word of criticism down Al-Ahly’s path if they had crashed out of the competition early on because the circumstances were ridiculously harsh. First of all there was the revolution and with it came a sense of turbulence and instability, but that’s rather minor factor right now. Then came the Port Said disaster back on February 1st when 84 of the most loyal fans were killed in front of the players’ very own eyes; an event that would disrupt the sanity of the most seasoned man of us. The calamity was aggravated by the ambiguity that still surrounds the incident with no one held accountable for the tragedy. As a result of that incident, the most loyal group of the fans, the Ultras, have turned their backs on the players demanding a complete halt to all activities until those responsible for the tragedy were prosecuted. Another result to that disaster was stopping the league, and with no competitive preparation for the continental competition the players were expected to lose their form. So to sum it all up, an unstable country, a traumatizing disaster, no preparation, and the fans chanting against the team. The expectations couldn’t have been lower for the once all-conquering team. But the delivery was quite the opposite. World class performances became the norm, topping it by snatching the trophy from inside the lion’s den. That’s a feat that should not only inspire sports teams, but also each and every one of us and put us to shame when speaking of obstacles we face and fail to overcome. The formula was apparently quite simple, keeping first things first while getting the job done. No attention to circumstance or surroundings, no attention to peoples’ opinions, no attention to anything that doesn’t really matter, only a positive drive. Sounds quite simple, but in fact, these notions are seldom that simple when it comes to application. A swift look at Egypt nowadays will tell you that. Consequently Al-Ahly’s rise in this country as a complete entity that managed to set priorities straight from the board through the management to the players is a beacon of hope, depicting what some sensible leadership can do. I sincerely hope that the leadership of this country learns from Al-Ahly, an institution that proved the absurdity of the government’s claims that circumstances are against them and that opposition isn’t giving them a chance. Opposition couldn’t be stronger against Al-Ahly and they treated it as if it was never there.

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Why the hell arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you following us? Follow us. Now. @CampusMagLive

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