Life Newsletter - January 2018

Edition 8, Issue 29 - 2018

LIFE

IN THIS ISSUE Courageous Living The Theology of Suffering The Purposeful Life and much more

WELCOME....

The LIFE publication is produced quarterly. Our desire is to bring you stories and articles that will encourage, inspire and perhaps even challenge you as you journey through life.

Life is a journey with many twists and turns, valleys and mountains, laughter and sorrows. It is not always how we start that matters, rather how we choose to live everyday with the options and choices that are before us.

Today choose to live and love your life!

Table of Contents Edition 8, Issue 29 - 2018 ........................................................................................ 1

Write Your Story ............................................................................................. 2 A Theology of Suffering ................................................................................... 3 Going the Extra Mile ....................................................................................... 4 Courageous Living .......................................................................................... 5 The Purposeful Life ......................................................................................... 6 Him................................................................................................................. 9 Silly Season ..................................................................................................... 9

Write Your Story

life, what will you change (if anything) to ensure that you will have a harvest in season and even out of season. We must make the most of each new day, each new moment. Each breath we take is a privilege and we should not take it for granted. For some, a day could make up a page, a chapter, or a day could make up a book.

Candy Daniels I have been making plans and setting goals for 2018. However, it was only when I wrote the date down for the first time in this NEW year that it dawned on me that in my busyness of being in holiday mode I had missed over a week of journaling.

What would each new day look like if we started with a heart of gratitude? If gratitude was a seed that was planted in your life garden what would the harvest be like? I believe 2018, for many of us, has the potential to be a year of harvest. But to see a harvest and to enjoy a harvest we must be prepared to do the work. We must be willing to keep the weeds from choking the seed, we must be willing to prune, we must be willing to tend to the garden at all times.

I enjoy journaling because this is the place where I get to not just write my story but where I get to write down the things I am grateful for and keep record of my thoughts, ideas, dreams, and set goals. I enjoy looking back at my journals and finding treasures, being able to tick off goals with the date I achieved it. Then there are the entries where I have written a prayer and I can go back and write the date when the prayer was answered. Not always the way I expected it, but the day it dawned on me that God had answered the prayer. We don’t always appreciate the simple things in life.

One day these books that I have penned in my own handwriting will be part of my story that I will not just leave for my family, but they will perhaps become part of their story and an encouragement.

Consider what you want to see and enjoy more of by this time next year or next month; keep in mind that some things take longer. Be mindful with your thoughts; our thoughts are like seeds, and by our actions we tend to our thoughts.

Keep a journal; it is your record book of your story and what you are hoping for. It can be a reminder of why you seek a particular harvest.

Remember happiness is a lifestyle and it starts with us being grateful. It’s a bit like the grass is greener where we water it.

We tend to celebrate, and many set goals and even make resolutions, when a new year dawns. Yet, how do we seek to live each new day that we enter into? Why is it that we take each new day we are alive for granted? I came across a quote by Brad Paisley who stated “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one”. This had me thinking about how much emphasis we put into tomorrow, yet we miss today. If you follow us on Facebook you would have seen the following post on the 1st of January 2018 – “We have 365 days to renew our mind. 52 weeks to be intentional about the choices we make. 12 months to plant seeds that will offer us a harvest for the years to come.”

This year I encourage you to start writing your story. You might be a seasoned journalist or you might be just starting; either way, these are some points to consider as you pen your page.

Date your page and at the end of each month see if you can find a theme and name the month. The following are some things to assit you to start your story: • • • • •

We are still in the first month of the year. If today could be the first day of the rest of your LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

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I am grateful for …

My prayer today is …

I appreciate …

My goal for today, for this week …

Name what you appreciate about each member in your family Page 2

A Theology of Suffering

an aggressive form, had spread and metastasized to the lymph nodes. Statistically this limited my future even more.

Grant Buchanan (originally written as a post for Harvest Bible College)

Each step of the way Trudy and I were confronted with decisions and faith challenges.

Because the uncertainty at the beginning of my treatment of whether I would be able to work or not challenged my ability to earn, we had to make decisions about the house, our social life and our spending. My physical resilience diminished after each treatment which also limited what we could do. Because we were uncertain about the outcome of treatment we had to talk openly and realistically about what a limited time together looked like. It is here where the struggle of personal suffering has changed us.

People respond to, and journey through, suffering differently. Personally, I am pain and suffering averse. I don’t seek it but when I do experience it, no matter how small the pain, I grumble and complain … externally and, many times, quite dramatically. My wife Trudy, on the other hand, takes pain in her stride and often you wouldn’t know there was a problem. I am very much like my father, and Trudy like hers. For example, it was always clear when my father was sick by the way he spoke and by his demeanor. Like Trudy, in his earlier years her dad seldom let anyone know he was struggling as his demeanor gave little away. While age lessened his ability to remain stoic through subsequent illness, how he approached death through cancer was quite different than my father. Both had faith; yet again, one internalized most of their struggle while the other externalized it. That said, while both fathers understood that the Bible speaks of healing and had a personal faith with Jesus the Healer (my dad had been miraculously healed of a duodenal ulcer about 20 years prior to passing), both succumbed to disease. It is important to note that neither response to personal suffering is wrong; it is just different. Furthermore, I watched my father confront and manage other struggles extremely well.

From the outset we discussed how we were going to confront and transition to our current reality. Trudy needed a plan — how we were going to plan for our future, albeit uncertain.

So we planned. We planned contingencies for finances and potential loss of resource and health. We also planned opportunities and what decisions will we implement in the next few years. I needed a story, and this is where my personal suffering came into its own.

Firstly, I never denied my diagnosis; I had cancer and it is what it is. Nor did I reject medical advice or treatment. Through this I was confronted by my own fear of death and potential loss of dreams; yet at the same time, we were able to reflect on what we did have and had done. Secondly, I listened. I began listening to the numerous stories of others struggling through cancer. In the oncology ward I attended, I met so many others far worse off than me. I heard their struggle and fears; I heard their stories and desires; I encouraged them as they encouraged me.

Recently I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and presented with a prognosis of a very limited future. This emphasized to Trudy and me the fragility of life and the frustration of mortality. The greatest frustration at the time of diagnosis was that there were limited symptoms prior to it, so I had no idea that my body was struggling with itself. However, the greater struggle and emotional turmoil came after we learnt that the cancer was not contained but, as

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Reflecting on the past few months I am grateful for the opportunities this disease has provided. I connected with many I would never have met. I observed many who, just like my father-in-law, suffer in silence. I have met 2018

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Going the Extra Mile

amazing people who provide medical and pastoral support. I have a new appreciation for what I already have — my wife and family, friends, work, church and study. I have a renewed determination to live differently regardless of my circumstances. My experience has also informed and shaped my theology — especially my theology of suffering — just as my theology of suffering has shaped my experience. My picture of God has been both affirmed — God is as present in my illness and through my treatment — and changed. While faith has been challenged and my response varied (not always silent and good), I have learnt that God is Healer, whether through treatment, miracle or even death.

Jodie Chambers Many Christians are familiar with the story that Jesus tells of going the extra mile, turning the other cheek and giving your cloak (Matt 5:3842). There are many commentaries on these verses. As with many parables in the Bible, what insight we gain will depend on what is happening in our own lives at the time of reading. One commentary I read on these verses has stuck with me over the years and helped me understand what it may look like to go the extra mile, turn the other cheek or give my cloak in order to show love to others without leaving me feeling used or taken advantage of.

Jesus did all of the above, going that little bit further, not reacting when He was unjustly treated and giving all that He had. However, Jesus was always in control and didn't allow others to manipulate Him. He knew the when, how, what and why in all situations.

It is this last point where suffering and theology interact most. We don’t know where we will end up in and through suffering, but we will change. It is not in the avoidance or absence of suffering that this occurs. Furthermore, it is not beyond suffering that we find God. As for the psalmist in Psalm 23, it has been in the midst of suffering that God has become more present. The last few months were emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually difficult. Paul’s words, however, speak volumes through my story.

During the Roman Empire it was not unusual for the soldiers to get slaves to carry their heavy packs; in fact, it was encouraged. When Jesus suggests we 'carry the pack' an extra mile, or do that little bit extra, He is saying that by doing a little more you show others up for their laziness and manipulation. You see, the Roman soldiers were encouraged to give their packs to the slaves to carry for a distance.

However, if the slave carried the pack too far the soldier was humiliated and thought of as lazy. To carry the pack an extra mile would bring disgrace and punishment to the Roman soldier. Roman soldiers took orders from their superiors without question and prided themselves on their courage, so to disobey an order was not an option. Going the extra mile is not about yourself but about the other person.

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy!

God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

(2 Cor. 1:3-4 MSG)

My story continues … and will be changed and develop further, not in the absence of suffering, but in, through and beyond suffering.

Turning the other cheek, when looked at from this commentary, has a similar outcome. To slap someone on the cheek you would use your

…and this is life … lived to the full.

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right hand; when you turn your cheek, the slapper would need to use their left hand. During Jesus’ time, using your left hand was seen as unclean, therefore bringing disgrace on the left-hand user. Similarly, when you had your tunic taken, to also take someone's cloak would leave them with nothing, again bringing disgrace on the taker.

work? After all, "cleanliness is next to godliness". Right!?

If you answer 'yes' to these questions, then that is good because now you have self-understanding and can stop complaining about how nothing gets done if you don't do it. Perhaps that is the point. While you're doing everything, no one else needs to do anything. If only you know how best to do something, then it is best you do it. If you want to prove your own worth and value, then keep on going. You can stop yelling at others to do jobs you want done, or take responsibility for things you won't let go.

Maybe they don't need things done and while you continue being responsible, they don't have to. Perhaps you need to reuse the dishes in order for someone to ‘reap what they sow.’ You may even find yourself in a place of accepting that others do things differently to you and that is ok. Maybe you can then begin the journey of discovering your value and worth apart from the things you do. You may discover new food flavour combinations when eating from a dirty plate.

I have translated these verses for myself in my own life to mean that I need to give only as much as I'm prepared to lose. Giving more is not about putting myself out or doing more than another, it is looking at how my actions reflect on the people around me. What is my motive for going the extra mile? How does ignoring needs reflect on others? What is my reward? Is it pride, recognition or maybe status?

Going the extra mile is good but not if the person you are doing things for doesn't appreciate it or you are stopping them from the consequences and rewards of their own actions. Turning the other cheek is good, but not at the expense of putting yourself under pressure, being too busy for your family and others you love or receiving the consequences of another's laziness or inadequacies. Another's inability to organise themselves is not your problem.

Sometimes you need to let the dishes go dirty and pile up in the sink if you want to see change.

One of my favourite sayings is "No one will clean the dishes as long as you are cleaning them". If someone can get you to 'go the extra mile', without consequences for themselves, they will. If you can't stand seeing dirty dishes in the sink, then why are you yelling at others to clean them up? If they leave the dishes long enough they know you will wash them even after you have lost your cool and told them to clean up. Maybe they don't mind seeing dishes in the sink. If 'going the extra mile' doesn't reflect on the other person, then you need to ask yourself "why am I doing this?". Is it to show others what a wonderful Christian you are? Are you working your way into heaven? Are you looking for recognition for all your hard LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

Courageous Living Kate Reimer A personally central theme of this past year has been courage. I, along with many of you, have experienced new and stretching opportunities for growth, situations that have challenged core insecurities, and circumstances that required prolonged persistence. At times, courage has simply been evidenced by the fact that regardless of the amount of times we fail, we still show up.

Courage has been conceptualised as “daring and risk in the face of fear” (Hewitt, 2014, p.

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57), linking courage not with the absence, but with the presence of fear. Courage involves extending oneself beyond one’s comfort zones (Tsai, Callaghan, & Kohlenberg, 2013). These understandings of courage give perspective to the frequently overwhelming flood of new and challenging experiences we face. Fearing a task or situation does not mean we are failures, or even that we are failing. Instead, it’s what we choose to do in the presence of fear that determines success.

don’t have to tackle the whole year in January.

Choosing courage is about using the resources we have been given and taking one step – and then the next – outside our comfort zone towards our goals. What is your next courageous step?

References Hewitt, S. E. (2014). The unfolding heart: What is the nature of courage in the therapeutic domain from the dual perspective of counsellors' personal therapy and their clinical practice? A qualitative study evaluated by Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. (Unpublished masters’ thesis). University of Chester, United Kingdom. http://hdl.handle.net/10034/326264

Approaching tasks and circumstances in this way causes success to be judged not by everyone else’s standards, but personally. The amount of courage one person has may be wholly unattainable for another, yet the seemingly small step that individual makes with the resources available to them demonstrates immense courage. For one person, courage may be presenting a proposal that would be costly to their company, yet has the potential for great growth and benefit; for another, courage may be evidenced by getting out of bed in the morning. We alone (and those closest to us) know the risk we take by our actions.

Tsai, M., Callaghan, G., & Kohlenberg, R. (2013). The use of awareness, courage, therapeutic love, and behavioral interpretation in functional analytic psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy, 50(3), 366-70. doi:10.1037/a0031942.

The Purposeful Life Donna Hunter When I reflect on my first article for this year, I wonder for what purpose I write. This leads me to think about the meaning of ‘purpose’ in relation to a meaningful life. Contemplate the following question:

Social connections, the presence or absence of trauma, mental wellbeing, socio-economic status, and other life circumstances all play a role in the risks people are able to take. While these factors are influential, they need not be defining. Facing fear head on in one area lays the foundation for future steps of courage, growing one’s capacity to dig deep and find the resources within them that are needed.

What is purpose and why does it matter?

Some people may describe purpose as ‘a cognitive process that defines life goals and provides personal meaning’, like thinking about what you want to achieve, having direction and making sense of your life. However, another vital element, I believe, is using one’s gifts and abilities to bring a deep sense of worth or value to one’s self, and to provide a significant contribution to the common good of humanity. Defining purpose this way means personally contributing to making the world a better place and therefore what you do really matters. Thought of perhaps, as a type of ‘authentic purpose’.

This does not necessarily mean giving up your

Fear often presents itself strongest in the area of one’s calling. Consider what you value and your goals for your life. These are also the areas you will most have to contend for. These valued ways of living do not come easily. But even in the presence of fear, they will be the areas in which you feel most alive.

As we contemplate a new year, with its responsibilities, unknowns, and challenges, courage may be the last quality we feel. Thankfully, we LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

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worldly possessions and becoming a missionary, although rallying people for a cause or helping the needy is worthwhile and meaningful work. But so is finding purpose in caring for the sick, designing a beautiful space, or making a nutritious meal to share. Some people find meaningful purpose in the creation of art or music. The Bible talks about this concept in Corinthians 12:12, relating it to many parts of one body working together and needing each other to be whole. In this way, we too need many diverse gifts and abilities to build healthy interconnected lives with others and beautiful flourishing communities.

the proliferation of these inspirational tales, the vast majority of us are not born consciously knowing our purpose or have a defining ‘ah ha’ moment to speak of.

According to recent studies, individuals who possess a sense of purpose in life experience less anxiety and have higher levels of self-esteem. However, around sixty-six percent of people encounter ‘purpose anxiety’ – feelings of stress, worry, anxiety, frustration, and fear during a search for purpose, or while struggling to enact it (www.anxiety.org). There are a number of explanations, including undefined fears, feeling inadequate or loss of hope.

Meaning and purpose are highly connected but not the same. Generally, meaning is reflective and helps us make sense of things that have happened. Purpose, on the other hand, looks forward and helps motivate one into the future.

It involves more than just understanding through reflection, but also moving forward by doing. In understanding we find meaning, in doing we find purpose. Both work together to create a sense of connection and wellbeing.

This makes sense, for creating meaning and defining purpose helps one to find the strength needed to flourish throughout all life stages, especially when experiencing hard times. A sense of purpose connects people and feels like one’s existence matters and one’s daily contributions to the world are important. With purpose comes clear goals and intentions, a sense of direction, and a determination to accomplish something beautiful. Without it we are lost, searching and dissatisfied.

It does not have to be this way. There is a great word in the Japanese language – ikigai – that means having ‘a reason for being’ and is similar to the French phrase raison d'être. The concept of ‘The Meaningful Life’ explores the cultivation of a sense of belonging, wellbeing, and of purpose. You may live to wake up in the morning and raise your children, build your business, go for a walk, or simply tend your vegetable garden. It may also be that you have more than one purpose in your life and that each is completely independent of the

How do we find purpose?

We have all heard the stories of accomplished luminaries who have felt their calling their entire lives, or the proclamations of people who have survived against the odds and now live life to the full. However, despite LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

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other. Finding purpose is to have a meaningful life.

in the world by nurturing my family and friendships and by journeying with others to understand the world through the connection of the stories we share.

People move through life spending time doing routine tasks, but also doing things that have great personal significance. These things are important to you and give a sense of purpose and value. Therefore, rather than asking vague questions such as “why am I here?” or “where is my place?” what we really need to be asking is “how can I use my gifts and talents to find the thing I love, that is important and meaningful to me and makes me feel valued and connected?”

So, how do you define your purpose?

My purpose in life is to…

5 Keys to Keep You Moving

Keeping in mind the aforementioned idea of authentic purpose, you might like to think about how to use your gifts. “What gives me a sense of value, and how can I contribute to the common good?” You might then ask, “What lights me up and provides a tangible benefit to the lives of others?”

For me, I am a ‘quality time’ person and having meaningful, close relationships with others is essential, which is why nurturing my family and friendships is so important to me. I spend a lot of time developing this concept in my world, but often in the busyness of life, I do not reach the bar I set for myself. My family of origin did not do this well and I am always mindful of how this affects my relationships, how I can challenge my learned weaknesses and develop inner strengths.

As this year begins, I am becoming increasingly aware that I am on this earth for an extraordinarily brief period and that I want to make the most of it. My focus is to seek inner understanding and to teach and empower others to find the life they love. I love the thought of journeying with others and sharing our stories to encourage and motivate each other. By doing this, I hope to create positive change in the world. I am still working on refining all this into a neat sentence, but for now, I will go with this: I purpose my life to create positive change LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

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Passion: drives a person forward, reducing fear of failure. Passion keeps you focused as to why you do what you do. Make it worth it. “Whatever your life’s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.” Martin Luther King

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Confidence: having an expectation of success. Even if you don’t have confidence in yourself, have confidence in God. “The world has the habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.” Napoleon Hill.

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Determination: purposefully not giving up despite the challenges. Determine to start your plans with God, He will be with you. “Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.” Brian Trancy.

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Commitment: psychological attribute, characterized by dedication. Commit your thoughts and plans to God; He is committed to you. “When you make a commitment, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership.” – Barbara De Angelis

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Courage: the quality of mind enabling one to face danger. Fear is not the absence of courage, rather it is what/who we believe. “Whether you be man or woman you will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honour.” James Allen

Incorporate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control with the above keys and you will see more because you will dare to move out of your comfort zone with a desire to be all that you can. We are only limited by the standard, excuses and limitations we set for ourselves.

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Him

Silly Season

Melody Durand

Sam Brown

A longing to see, a longing to hear, a longing to ask, are you the one for me?

December is one of my favourite times of the year. Some call it the silly season, usually because of all the craziness and busyness of school holidays, Christmas shopping, New Year’s Eve parties, long-overdue household projects, or just catching up with friends. For me, particularly these past few years, it is a time of the year when I feel like I am moving in slow motion and everything else around me is in fast forward; I am slowing down and everybody else is speeding up. For me it is a silly season, not for the aforementioned reasons, but because I see so much contradiction going on that it really does seem odd, and yes, even a little silly.

Years rolled on with no opportunity to express these restless yearnings, confidently!

Wait, I did for the one with a heart that is large to give and to receive, One, which I could continue to walk life’s path and create memories to keep.

I saw you for the first time; I wondered will this stay a dream?

Tall, dark and handsome, but does he have vision, and desire for me?

In December the summer arrives, and we almost leap over the end of the year. As the days grow longer we see more usable daylight hours and sunshine brings growth to our flourishing gardens. The children are sprouting up too, some growing up to three inches before they head back to school in February. Everything seems to be looking forward, preparing for the new year, and what is on the horizon. But how often do we look back? What about the holidays we didn’t take, opportunities we didn’t make the most of, things we wish we had done but didn’t make time for, friends we haven’t seen for ages, people and things we have loved and lost, things we wish we had done differently? There are so many memories to treasure and reflect on, but so many plans to make; there are people and things to grieve for, whilst anticipating new loves and new adventures. So much contradiction.

Wait, I did for God above to pave the way and soften our hearts to need and want, One, to cherish and love and live restored in the promise of prevailing harmony.

We meet, our hearts guarded to protect wounds and scars, with no effect, against destiny; You commit to like, hold and love me as you nurture us on our life’s parallel journeys.

Wait, I did for this man of substance, surrendered to bring honour to his Creator above.

One, to rekindle an enduring flame and share favour, grace, restoration and love.

Saying goodbye to 2017 means looking back at what has gone, whilst preparing for 2018 and what is yet to come. We face transition and change every day of our lives, but when the calendar ticks over and time - by which so much of our lives is measured - tells us glaringly that things are moving on, suddenly those LIFE Edition 8, Issue 29

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daily opportunities for change are magnified.

Like those expensive fashion magazines that dictate to us what styles and colours are ‘so last year’, suddenly 2017 becomes “the year I did (insert biggest mistake ever, right here)”, or “the year that (insert significant life event) happened”, or “the year that I (insert greatest achievement here)”. We get to December and suddenly, rather than winding down, we are jumping ahead. We are boxing up our 2017 lives and putting them away in the cupboard with the fake Christmas tree. The difference seems to be that next year we will take the tree back out, but 2017 and all that it encompassed ends up stuck in the cupboard, never to be seen again, and only on occasion talked about.

things that drive change, incite growth, and develop understanding.

The world is abuzz with movement and progress and yet for me it is the greatest opportunity to stop, rest and reflect. Rather than put the memories and moments of 2017 into a box and pack it away, I like to pick up those significant moments, turn them over in my hand, in my head and most importantly in my heart.

The end of the year is not just the time to make a fleeting wave goodbye to what was. I think of it more as two versions of myself passing each other in cars going in opposite directions. Each catches a glimpse of the other and they hold each other’s gaze. As they drift off into the distance until they can hold the gaze no longer, the image of that other face will be burned in the memory forever. For me the end of the year is not about packing away 2017 and putting it behind me, it is looking at what the past year brought me, and also what it taught me. What lessons have I learned? What can I use that will help me make 2018 not only different, but better? What can I see in the eyes of that other me I am saying goodbye to? What do they know that will help me move forward and become a better version of myself? There will be things I put away in the box and not want to see again; those things that were too painful, too sad, too hard. These are the ones that we are inclined to hide away in the dark box, but these are often the things that we need to be reminded of, the

So, if you are one of those people who pulls down the Christmas tree the day after Boxing Day, taking off all the decorations in record time and packing it all away for another year, I prompt you to take a little more time with task like these. Do not simply glance past or catapult over the stuff that has gone before, particularly the hard stuff. Instead, in the process of dismantling your 2017 tree of life, take the time to really look at each decoration/event before you pack the year away. Look back at the events of 2017. What have I learned? What could I have done differently, and would I do it again if I had the chance? We don’t need to study every moment, but pick out the most impactful ones; the ones you put pride of place at the top, and the ones you hide around the back because you don’t want to be reminded of them, or don’t want others to see. These are the ones that matter. These are the ones that we, like it or not, tend to care about the most.

These are the ones that will impact on the journey, and have the power to transform our future. I am not suggesting that we hold on to the past forever. However, as time marks the coming of one year and the going of another, take some time to stop, just for a moment, or maybe a few, and in the ‘silliness’ of the season embrace the juxtaposition, the beginnings and the endings that create change and stimulate growth.

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Often we are afraid to look back, or we just don’t, for whatever reason. The process of change is about letting go, but not necessarily without saying goodbye. I find growth and change are found in the stopping, and marking the moments, taking a last look back. Those are the things that facilitate our coming to terms with what life looks like going ahead, and accepting a new view. We appear to do it so well; we get new mobile phones and new toys and gadgets for Christmas, but it just seems so much harder when it involves our feelings and things that really matter.

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