Newsletter spring 2017

Edition 7, Issue 28 - 2017

LIFE

IN THIS ISSUE Finding Peace Creating Reflective Space Collective Teacher Efficacy and much more

WELCOME....

The LIFE publication is produced quarterly. Our desire is to bring you stories and articles that will encourage, inspire and perhaps even challenge you as you journey through life.

Life is a journey with many twists and turns, valleys and mountains, laughter and sorrows. It is not always how we start that matters, rather how we choose to live everyday with the options and choices that are before us.

Today choose to live and love your life!

Table of Contents Edition 7, Issue 28 - 2017 ........................................................................................ 1

Alterity ............................................................................................................ 2 Finding Peace ................................................................................................. 3 The Art of Relaxing to RECEIVE ...................................................................... 4 Excellence ....................................................................................................... 5 Random Acts of Kindness ............................................................................... 6 The God I Know .............................................................................................. 7 Creating Reflective Space ................................................................................ 8 Effective, Powerful Praying ............................................................................. 9 How do you Feel? .......................................................................................... 10 Collective Teacher Efficacy............................................................................. 11 Success and Autism Spectrum Disorder ........................................................ 13

Alterity

your hunger, did you have a viewpoint on how they looked, their culture, etc.? Imagine if there was only one colour in the world and that was green. No shades of green, just green. What would the world look like? What does your idea of green look like?

Candy Daniels You might all be familiar with the term diversity, but have you considered the term alterity? Alterity is the state of being different or other. In a world where many are looking to be like the other, diversity and alterity celebrate the other. Or do they? Actually, do we celebrate someone being different to us? Have you considered what it is about the other person that unsettles or distracts you?

I am part of a team. We bring variety: different viewpoints, characteristics, skills, talents and dreams… We are all different. The majority of us are counsellors, yet how we see things, understand things and do things are very different.

Have you ever noticed how we can all follow the same recipe, yet the food tastes different?

Well, I would say that is because there is something in each of us that is different. Perhaps it’s how we stir the food.

What is it about us humans that often looks to be like another or seek approval from others?

Why are we less likely to declare ‘I am...’ than asking ‘who am I?’ Is it possible that we tend to look at others first before looking at ourselves? Hence we struggle to appreciate who we are and thus struggle to truly appreciate others because we see the difference.

Some of us look different on the outside and therefore we are not accepted; we are criticised or bullied.

This also can apply when we share our views or values. I think one of the most important things to keep in mind when we see or know someone who is different to us is that beneath all that is different, there is a person with the same needs and desires as us. The chances are, if you struggle to accept the differences in you, you will struggle to accept the differences in another.

The Australian song says ‘We are one, but we are many, and from all the lands on earth we come. We'll share a dream and sing with one voice, "I am, you are, we are Australian".’ I know we are not all Australian, yet we are all human beings. Imagine if we were able to truly grasp the richness inherent in diversity, with wonder and the fullness that it brings to us as we do life together. Imagine embracing a life that compliments diversity, rather than viewing life as a competition.

If we are able to embrace diversity we will be richer, as it introduces us to variety and often can assist us to pull down the walls that we put up when we meet someone whom we perceive as other. Imagine you were hungry. What would you do if you couldn’t appreciate the hard work of the farmer and all the work that goes into transporting what the farmer has produced to the supermarket, to the cook in your kitchen, to the food on your table. Now, I have rather fast tracked that process; my point is, do you know who was behind all that hard work? As these individuals met your need by satisfying LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

If we struggle to accept the other whom we term as different from us, regardless of what the difference is, I can assure you we will struggle to feel accepted and even have a sense of belonging with our families and community.

What part of alterity do you contribute to your family and community? Will you dare to look past the differences in people and embrace what unites us as human beings? The most basic human desire we all have is to be accepted and to belong, that is, to know that we are loved.

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Finding Peace

genie God who fixes or engineers our circumstances, but a God who is intimately with us amid them, and who constantly pursues us.

Trudy Buchanan Recent circumstances in my life have made me consider what peace is and how we find a true sense of it. Peace is discussed often in the Bible and, depending on the context, has different meanings. The peace I have been seeking to discover is one of rest and tranquility—a contentment—despite circumstances. I have often been frustrated at frameworks of faith that merely profess positive thinking or faith guised as denial. I believe these stances deny the fullness of our humanity, our emotions and sometimes the reality of our situation.

2. Find and develop a new normal of what the circumstances mean for your life. The day after receiving this diagnosis hubby and I went for a walk. We talked about what was important in life and what our values are.

We recognised that we can’t control when life ends, or when sickness occurs, but we can control in some measure how we choose to live and think, and what we do with each day.

A few months ago, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The diagnosis, alongside a poor prognosis, was delivered to us by phone.

Such a diagnosis confronts many of our structures and beliefs in life: What do I value most? Who is important is my life? What is our human mortality? What is life about? and What happens after this life? The reality is there is only so much of our life that we can control and when life ends is certainly not one of them. The harsh reality of such a diagnosis given us shatters our veil of control and brings the reality of how fragile our human existence is, and how little control we have over it. It is confronting, to say the least, bringing these questions a whole lot closer into the foreground of our thinking and feelings, destroying not only our control mechanisms but also our illusion of peace.

3. Determine what we can and can’t control This can help manage expectations to find a new normal.

This also helps us to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers to life and faith and that’s ok. Learn to live with the questions! Incorporate strategies to manage the ‘what if’s’.

4. Live each day whilst balancing the management of future outcomes. As humans, we can control how and what we think.

During our first walk after the diagnosis, we determined that cancer wouldn’t define us but that our values would determine what and how we lived. This required working to develop a new normal around treatment etc, which also putting in strategies to live an intentional value-based, meaningful life rather than being identified and absorbed by cancer and our circumstances. This helps us go beyond just coping or managing our circumstances, to living life to the full regardless of the circumstances.

In what follows I would like to share some of what I have discovered and experienced about finding true peace despite circumstances.

1. Relate to God Emmanuel — the God who is with us and who by nature is agape love.

This is a sacrificing and pursuing love of a God whose love is beyond and despite our circumstances and behaviours. This is our agape-ing God whose love is not contingent on our sense of worth, what we do or who we are … it just is. This is not the magic LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

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5. Lean on your support networks and ask for help when you need it.

As a self-sufficient and capable person, I find it challenging to let people assist. We have been overwhelmed by the generosity of many, and how caring people can be if you let them in. Peace comes when life is shared with community and empathy (and practical help) is received from friends, family, and God.

The Art of Relaxing to RECEIVE Jodie Chambers

6. Find a place of gratitude. During challenging times, it’s so easy to focus inward and let the circumstances absorb life.

There are always things to be thankful for — even if it is that we have breath and another day to walk through. We are thankful that despite the fact hubby has cancer we have the gift of time. We have been thankful for the many memories and experiences we already have had. We are thankful to be in Australia where we can access amazing medical facilities for free. We are thankful for the opportunities we have had whilst in treatment to brighten other cancer patients’ days and hear their stories.

Currently I am halfway through a six-week recuperating period after an operation. I was told I would need to do nothing for the first two weeks, followed by not much more for another four. In preparation for this I was required to have an interview at the hospital where they would take me through what the procedure entailed and what was required during the rehabilitation period.

It was during this interview that I came to realise what six weeks of doing nothing really meant. You see, my idea of doing nothing and the hospital’s idea of doing nothing was a little different. It was at that moment that I realised God was about to take me to the edge of the cliff, or rather, the edge of my independence. As a self-confessed ‘doer’, clearly my idea of knowing whom I belong to and who is in control was about to be exposed.

It is not the first time God has led me here, so although I felt apprehensive, it is a familiar journey so I was more excited to see what six weeks with God was going to bring.

7. Enjoy what you do have — despite circumstances, make time for fun and meaningful activities. This includes simple things in life such as being mindful of the sun on your back, the colour of your window, a nice cup of coffee or a walk.

Enjoyment and meaning is not found only in the bold, extravagant, or expensive, but in the mindfulness of what is already around us.

Counselling is a profession largely based on emotional wellbeing and how this is influenced through our relationships. It was no surprise to me that I felt God was going to have me look at my relationships with my family and friends in regard to ‘doing’ things for them and now having to rely on them ‘doing’ things for me.

This was my cliff edge. Was I going to be able to humble myself enough to ask for help

Dr Ben Shahar offers a good summary that can lead to peace: Give ourselves permission to be human Reconstruct the future learning lessons Gain a perspective of where this situation fits into the grand scheme of life.

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knowing I would not be able to repay the gift?

Was I going to be able to accept their gifts of help without feeling indebted to them? Could I even ask for what I needed? And what was socially acceptable to ask someone for? I have never been in this position before. Yes, there have been times I have needed a helping hand, however, I would just wait until I was able to do it myself or at the very least be able to assist or pay someone else in some way to help me.

So, what have I gleaned over these past three weeks of nothing? Two things so far. God is inviting me to be at the table of the Trinity, to experience and be a part of the joy and delight of the relationship between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It is an invitation to come and sit, empty-handed before Him. Secondly, it is neither ‘nothing’ nor ‘doing’ when I am with Him in the place of receiving. God doesn’t need anything from me, has no social expectations or requirements, and simply asks me to come as I am. I need to forgo my obsession and addiction of the ‘other’ and instead focus on the way God is able to tenderly, carefully, lovingly and kindly hold me in my deep desire to be needed and useful.

For most of my childhood my father was disabled so it was normal for me to be helping him with most things and me not asking for help. It was not that he didn’t want to help me, he simply wasn’t able to so I didn’t ask. I had no point of reference for asking for help. The first week after my operation threw me into this exact place, the place of receiving.

At the end of these first three weeks unfortunately, I have been told that I am doing too much and need to do even less in order to get the best outcome. Well, that’s perhaps not what I was hoping to hear, and I’m not sure what less of not much even looks like, yet I am ready for the challenge and to take another step towards the edge of that cliff.

I have been reading a book called Dancing with God by Irene Alexander. She suggests that our need for intimacy and self-worth comes from being image bearers of God and has been placed there by Him. However, we are obsessed with what other people say about us, leading to a misdirected yearning (chapter 12).

She suggests this is an obsession we have that consumes our time and keeps us in an addiction of self-rejection. What has struck me is the idea of working on who I am through doing the right things and the self-rejection of only seeing what I am not able to do or doing what others say.

What am I basing my worthiness of receiving on? How will my inability to ‘do’ or ‘give’ affect what my family and friends say about me?

Will they say I am lazy or not trying hard enough to get better? Will I ask too much of them? Who am I looking for to tell me if I am meeting the requirements of my rehabilitation?

Is it my colleagues, my children, my family, my friends or perhaps my peers? And what does society say about me? What cultural expectations am I trying to measure myself against? My operation has received comments of ‘You’re too young to have that done’. What does that mean?

LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

Excellence Kate Reimer I grew up in an environment in which ‘striving for excellence’ was deemed an utmost priority.

However, it was accompanied by a fear of punishment if one failed, so excellence became equated with perfection. However, in hindsight I realise that those who modelled excellence to me were more concerned about the outward show than of genuine excellence. I came to believe that excellence involved burdensome effort, and that anything short of perfection was failure. As a result, whenever I heard people talking about seeking excellence individually or in a team, part of me cringed because of these internalised childhood beliefs. My youthful conclusions about excellence tainted an 2017

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Random Acts of Kindness

otherwise healthy, useful concept by which to conduct my life.

Karen Bekker

I believe that genuine excellence lies within an honest acceptance of one’s humanity. It is obvious that living with excellence involves utilising personal strengths to achieve one’s best, but I believe it also involves recognising one’s weaknesses and failings. This acknowledgement identifies areas we can seek to improve while also seeking assistance from others who have strengths in those areas. To those who, perhaps subconsciously, view excellence as achieving perfection, the thought of embracing one’s humanity may be intolerable. Yet acknowledging both our strengths and our weaknesses gives a depth to what we do, transforming excellence from merely outward show to being rooted in reality.

Rather than being mutually exclusive, humanity and excellence need to be intertwined.

We often hear of certain individuals going out of their way to perform Random Acts of Kindness. Just this morning I was watching the television and they were interviewing a hairdresser/barber who takes the time to give haircuts and shaves to the homeless. I also know many people who have dropped food hampers on the doorsteps of families in need. Or people who have just decided to pay for the fuel of another at a service station and then quickly left without getting any recognition and thanks.

Whenever I hear of these people sacrificing time and money to help others, it makes me smile.

Often in our society today we are so busy with our own lives, or trying to pay our own bills or accumulate things for ourselves that we can easily forget to stop long enough to help or encourage another. There is a special kind of joy we experience when we take time to help or bless others.

Questions for Reflection: •

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• • • •

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What are my internalised beliefs about excellence? (notice any feelings/emotions and body sensations along with thoughts) Why do I have these beliefs? (notice any memories of situations that impacted your beliefs) Are these beliefs bringing me and others around me life, or do they oppress?

What is an alternative, life-giving perspective of excellence?

What difference would this perspective make to me and those around me?

What are some actions I need to take to live according to these life-giving beliefs?

What are some of my strengths and weaknesses, and how can I embrace them and utilise them in living life well?

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Maybe like me, you have a busy life. Or you may be thinking, ‘I don’t have the time or money or talents to help another’. Well, a good place to start is at home. Are you married? Do you have children? Often, we are so busy going through the requirements and motions of life that we forget to look out for the ones we love.

Love breaks down barriers and even small random acts of kindness can show love in a big way.

At home, some of the things I do are: - write a special note of encouragement - randomly text an encouraging message - buy a special surprise. It doesn’t have to be big: a chocolate heart, or something they have been wanting for a while - give time (time is a big one). When they know you are busy, surprise them with a special date, a trip to McDonalds, a coffee shop, a walk - whatever they are interested in - taking time to listen, (really listen) 2017

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tidy their room (be careful if you have a fussy teenager), wash their car - anything that will make them happy take time to help them if they are struggling with something

not attempting to tell you who God is based on some theological or philosophical expertise, rather I would like to give you a glimpse into who God is to me. Perhaps also, when you read the articles and stories in our publications you can have an idea of the God we are talking about. All of us can have different understandings of who God is, but the one thing we as Christians have in common is that we believe God is the Creator, that He loves us and that we can choose to have and be in relationship with Him.

I find when I go out of my way to give something or do something that is random and kind, the response is amazing. Sometimes the response of the recipient isn’t always immediate, but when we put our own agendas aside and do our Random Acts of Kindness with a heart of love, expecting nothing in return, it is amazing what can happen.

Now let me introduce you to the God I met when I was a little girl. Yes, I was born into a family that believed in God. The very first story that was told to me by my mother was the story of creation. This story ignited within me a desire to get to know this God who was incredibly powerful and creative.

So, a good starting point is at home. Family first, and from there, extended family, neighbours, work colleagues and total strangers in random places. If there is someone who might be a bit challenging in your life, instead of complaining or arguing, why not try a Random Act of Kindness or two! Love and Kindness breaks down barriers.

You see, I have a gift of imagination and listening to the story of creation that was read to me from a childrens book took me on an adventure in my mind that made me want to know more about this God. I heard many of the other stories in the Bible as well; the good, the bad and the not so nice, but what has kept me always intrigued is His love for who and what He has created.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 9:6, ‘Remember this; whosoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, whosoever sows generously will also reap generously!’.

So, what are you sowing? A little Random Act of Kindness may seem a small thing to do, but it can go a long way

Have you ever made something with your hands or spoken to anyone that made a difference through their life? The Bible tells us that God spoke creation into being and that He handcrafted Adam and Eve. Then looking at all that He had done, He was pleased as He saw that all of it was very good. Have you experienced a great sense of pleasure when you have cooked a meal, even before anyone has tasted it? How often have you made something or were part of something and looked at it and thought, ‘wow, I did that!’, and been pleased?

The God I Know Candy Daniels I am sure you have heard people, and perhaps you also, make comments that go something along the lines of ‘God bless’, ‘where is God?’, ‘I don’t believe in God’ or ‘who is God?’. Those who identify as Christians would say that God is the creator of the universe. They believe that God is personable and therefore relational.

As a child, what intrigued me about God was His power, creativity and ability to be genuine, constant and purposeful in faithfulness and commitment. Now, you might wonder how a

I am certain that many people would have lots to say about who God is or is not to them. I am LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

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Creating Reflective Space

child gets to know God in such a manner. Let me briefly tell you that I encountered this God and experienced His faithfulness because I was hungry to see continuity. I didn’t recognise at the time how much we thrive on continuity and familiarity. For me, when things around me seemed to be continually changing, I found that God didn’t change. He was commited to me and those around me. He became my normal when my world around me was ever-changing. As I grew older, I discovered the character and atributes of my God who, in one word, is called love. I soon discovered that love doesn’t change despite the circumstances that create change.

Donna Hunter Traditionally, all cultures have engaged in spiritual practices that promote a sense of connection, belonging and purpose. Practices that promote meaning, internal peace and knowing, connecting the seen with the unseen. Spiritual practices such as prayers, blessings, lighting candles, reading sacred scripts, symbolism, ceremonies, dancing, rhythm, music, art, contemplation and reflection all draw into the ancient conversation that tells the story of love and relationship. These two things people long for in this modern, somewhat disconnected world.

Love. What is it, and if God is love how does He display it through His power and creativity?

Then I found the best definition of love which described the God I wanted to worship out of reverence, honour, respect and curiosity.

I am often in awe when my journey crosses with the life of another beautiful soul that intertwines wonder, imagination and possibility with the wisdom of ancient conversation. It is as if it creatively invites us into companionship in the exploration of our own deep and innate search for belonging within the physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual landscapes that we wondrously inhabit. Our experiences of others and our world beckon us into this ancient conversation that has been going on since before the beginning of time, and allows us to glimpse the powerful connection between what is seen and what is not. This reconciliation with eternity occurs through the power of spiritual practices such as language and reflection touches our own human adventure and our eternal sense of being.

The God I know is patient and kind. He doesn’t demand my attention, yet desires that I spend time with Him. He doesn’t keep a checklist of all the times I have not lived according to His guidebook, yet reminds me that living according to His guidebook, the Bible, will keep me from heartache. He celebrates truth and has patience with me as I work things out. He has never given up on me, yet as a loving parent has disciplined me. This same God has been my friend and cheered me on and challenged me. I find my strength, my peace, my comfort and wholeness in knowing Him and walking with Him. When my world around me changes, my safe place is in being with the God I know.

John O'Donohue (1956-2008) was an Irish poet, author and philosopher, who articulated a profound mystical intuition of the deepest longings of the soul and geographies of the visible and invisible world. Take this moment from the busyness of our modern life to reflect and intertwine your own journey with his and others, as you sit in contemplation of these words he penned. As you do, notice what it stirs up inside, what calls for your attention. Notice the space it creates for you to draw inward and flow in the story that connects us all. Draw on the eternal divine beauty of the invisible embrace of LIFE.

God is not distant to me; matter of fact, I experience Him with me. I have had many adventures and expeditions with Him and I hope to share some of these with you. Stay tuned on our blog www.lifeinternational.com.au/blog if you are interested in hearing some of my stories and how I see and know God.

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Effective, Powerful Praying

For a New Beginning

Amritha Perera

In out-of-the-way places of the heart, Where your thoughts never think to wander, This beginning has been quietly forming, Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

The greatest privilege we all have is being able to communicate with the Creator of the universe - our Heavenly Father! He longs to hear us and longs to talk to us. The best place to learn is from the Bible. Great men and women of God such as Abraham, Moses, Daniel, Esther, Paul and, greatest of all, the Lord Jesus, constantly prayed.

Their prayers were powerful prayers. They saw miracles take place. They were ordinary people like you and me. What was the difference?

How did they pray? Why were their prayers more effective than ours?

For a long time, it has watched your desire, Feeling the emptiness growing inside you, Noticing how you willed yourself on, Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety, And the grey promises that sameness whispered, Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent, Wondered would you always live like this.

There are hundreds of examples in the Bible by which we may learn. The following steps are a guideline to help you have an effective, powerful prayer life.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled, And out you stepped onto new ground, Your eyes young again with energy and dream, A path of plenitude opening before you.

1. Start your day with the Lord. The rest of the day will be blessed! Read Psalm 51 daily before you pray – it’s a prayer of repentance. Humble yourselves and ask God to forgive you. Empty yourself.

Hand over to the Lord all your concerns, challenges.

2. When you pray – TRUST that your Heavenly Father will handle the situation for you.

3. Use the Scriptures (Bible verses) for each prayer need.

Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure; Hold nothing back; learn to find ease in risk; Soon you will be home in a new rhythm, For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

‘For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.’ Isaiah 55:10-12 When we believe and speak God’s word in prayer, there is a powerful reaction; it will not return empty! You will see amazing results.

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Praying for your job/workplace: ‘The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of His bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none.’ Deuteronomy 28:12

Applying Scripture by reading, meditating and repeating the Word of God to ourselves is the secret weapon to success. The Word of God is the sword given to us to fight our battles. But how many of us realise it? How many of us use the weapon given to us? It’s time to pick up the weapon and move forward. If you encounter the enemy, your only weapon is the Word of God. If we use the right ammunition we can win each battle that is before us!

Praying for your health: ‘But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.’ Isaiah 53:5 ‘Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.’ 1 John 2:2

As you read through this article, I believe the great Holy Spirit will quicken your spirit to have a deeper walk with the Lord, a vibrant prayer life that will make you effective in the Master’s hands. You have been strategically placed by God where you are for His purposes and plans.

Ask God to open your eyes to see His plans for you. Stay blessed!

Praying for your marriage: ‘“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”… So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ Matthew 19:5-6 Praying for your children: The Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon ____.(put your child’s name). ‘The Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might. The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.’ Isaiah 11:2 ‘All your children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be their PEACE. Isaiah 54:13 ‘They will grow in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and people. Luke 2:52

How do you Feel?

Melody Durand

Praying for your church: Jesus prayed for us, ‘I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me”.

John 17:20-21

Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vXzYnoScgWs/UJBRkWTgOKI/...

When someone asks us how we are, are we really ‘fine’, or are there unmet needs below the surface that we haven’t yet acknowledged? Humans are social beings who are born with a need to belong.

Praying for your nation: ‘If my people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.’

2 Chronicles 7:14 LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

This drives: 1. how we think 2. how we feel 3. how we communicate / act 2017

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As individuals, our need for connection varies, but generally, we need to feel connected and experience significant, constructive and pleasant exchanges with others.

really discover who you are, if you are constantly surrounded by other people. If you never experience aloneness, your relationships will likely become very dependent. But spending quality time by yourself, basking in total and complete you time? That's called solitude. In a world that can feel overstimulating at the very least, there's value in being alone and shutting out all the noise. Solitude is restorative for everyone, though there are some people who naturally benefit more from being alone. (If you've ever taken a Myers-Briggs test, those people are known as introverts—and FYI, half the population is classified as such.) All that to say, you shouldn't feel weird about being a bit of a loner (or a total loner, for that matter). Embrace the solitude and use it to recharge.

Personality type and early life experiences play a big role in how a person sees themselves.

Those who have had steady, warm and loving relationships with their parents or carers often have a confident sense of who they are, which helps them be able to develop friendships and connect with others. However, if as young people we have not had positive experiences in early years, this can lead to challenges in making connections, developing friendships and contributing positively in social groups.

There are many reasons why loneliness can be more challenging during teenage years. Teenagers are developing new awareness and understanding of who they are as individuals, distinct from others. There are five significant areas of psychological change that teenagers face as they move from childhood to adulthood. Professionals call these the ‘tasks of adolescence’ and they are briefly detailed below.

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Independence: developing as an independent person, separate from family and other carers.

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Identity: developing self-identity.

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Intimacy: developing an understanding of your own individual sexual identity, and negotiating relationships with your peers and intimate or romantic relationships.

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Image: developing a realistic body image and determining how to feel comfortable ‘in your own skin’.

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Encourage a teen to engage in positive alonetime activities. Reading, drawing, journaling, exercising, crafting and listening to music are activities that your teen can enjoy by themselves without feeling lonely.

There are a number of benefits your child will receive by volunteering their time to those less fortunate. They will feel good about themselves and the experience will bring more meaning to their life. They will realize that they really are one of the more fortunate people in the world which increases their own sense of gratitude for what they have.

Collective Teacher Efficacy Lisa Dumicich Knowing that someone believes in you is incredibly powerful and humbling. Jesus believed in and loved us so much despite of the fact that we are fallen sinners, despite of the fact that we fail on a regular basis and despite of the fact that we seem to take two steps forward and one step back. All. The. Time! Knowing this helps me to do things that I know are not

Integrity: working out your own beliefs and values about life by deciding who to believe and what to believe in.

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possible in my own strength, to take risks and achieve far greater than I could on my own. As someone who is made in the image of God, I need to go and do to others as He is doing to me, so I need to show others how I believe in them just like Jesus believes in them. How powerful!

Now imagine that in a school. Imagine if the teachers in the school believed that they could impact the students and improve their educational outcomes despite the circumstances. Despite poverty or family breakdown or health issues or motivation or anxiety. That would be amazing, right? Well that is called collective teacher efficacy, which is the collective self-perception that teachers in a given school make an educational difference to their students over and above the educational impact of their homes and communities.

Research has shown that collective teacher efficacy is the most impactful factor influencing student achievement. Professor John Hattie, who has a ranking of most impactful to least impactful factors on student achievement, has ranked it as number one with an effect size of 1.57. This means that with the right beliefs, schools can overcome what is going on at home.

goals helps educators achieve purposeful results—especially when the staff reaches consensus on which goals to set. The conditions of effective goal setting required that: 1. the team had the capacity to meet the goals; 2. the goals were clear and specific; and 3. the staff was committed to the goals.

Leaders help build collective efficacy by communicating a strong belief in the capacity of the staff to improve the quality of teaching and learning and attain appropriately challenging goals throughout the goal setting process.

Leaders can also acknowledge joint accomplishments and identify and celebrate small and large wins that have resulted from team work.

3. Responsiveness of Leadership In schools where leaders act consistently with the principle that it is their responsibility to help others carry out their duties effectively, leaders are responsive and show concern and respect for their staff. Responsive leaders demonstrate an awareness of the personal aspects of teachers and protect teachers from issues and influences that detract from their teaching time or focus. This includes providing teachers with materials and learning opportunities necessary for the successful execution of their job. When principals demonstrate the ability to respond to the needs of the staff, teachers feel supported and they have a greater belief in their collective ability to affect student outcomes.

Staff respond positively by working more diligently.

Responsiveness requires awareness of situations – the details and undercurrents in the school. Is anything preventing the team from carrying out their duties effectively? If so, how can leaders

There are three conditions that allow teacher collective efficacy to flourish. They are: 1. Advanced Teacher Influence There is a clear and strong relationship between collective efficacy and the extent of teacher leadership in a school.

Advanced teacher influence involves teachers assuming specific leadership roles and, along with that, the power to make decisions on school-wide issues.

Providing teachers greater autonomy and influence over important decisions will help to build collective efficacy.

2. Goal Consensus Having a clear set of goals is important to the success of any endeavour—including school improvement. Setting measurable and appropriately challenging school LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

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respond to the situation in a way in which the team will feel supported?

changed in the course of parenting a child, and now adult, with ASD.

Collective teacher efficacy models the way that Jesus believes in us. It is then our role as Christian teachers to believe in those who He has placed in front of us in the classroom.

These concepts of success and expectation have been part of a personal journey for myself of late also, as I reflect on my own choices, events life has thrown my way, and my own responses to them. Grief certainly. Disappointment, absolutely. Unmet potential fits in there too. Being able to first recognise and acknowledge these emotions can be incredibly difficult and humbling. Sometimes we need others to point them out, while other times we are aware of them lurking in the background, but don’t have the energy or inclination to deal with them. However, in order to grow and develop healthy minds, and find some semblance of peace, deal with them we must. What I have found most helpful is not only processing the emotions, but also examining the benchmarks I was using to measure myself against, and who was setting them.

Adapted from Fostering Collective Teacher Efficacy: Three Enabling Conditions, by Jenny Donohoo http://corwinconnect.com/2016/07/fostering-collectiveteacher-efficacy-three-enabling-conditions/

Success and Autism Spectrum Disorder Sam Brown Success:

We as a culture often see success in a particular way. Many westernised societies in particular see it in terms of the definitions listed above – wealth, fame, met expectations, reaching one’s potential. Having goals are a good thing because they give us something to strive for, while potential and expectations give us an idea of our capacity and what is possible. However, where I find conflict and problems arise, and I believe it is the same for families living with ASD, is that often the benchmarks we use to measure these things are set by external others who do not know the details of our challenges. Alternatively, they are set by ourselves without considering factors we do not or cannot foresee. And sometimes it is these factors that are instrumental in whether or not those goals are reached.

1. the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.

2. the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

3. a person or thing that achieves desired aims.

Last year I studied Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at a higher education institution alongside educators, care workers and parents of children with ASD. While it was wonderful to be part of a community that celebrated the uniqueness and positive qualities of ASD individuals, I was also struck by how averse this group was to acknowledge the associated negative aspects and emotions of ASD. Emotions such as grief, loss and disappointment that ASD children may never reach the goals, potential or expectations their parents had dreamed of for them. So, when I recently attended a seminar on Families Living With ASD, I was somewhat relieved to encounter a number of parents, who were also counsellors and educators, who bravely and openly admitted their struggles and grief. They acknowledged how their expectations and visions of success had been significantly challenged and LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

Consider the expectations of a classroom teacher. They may expect that children in upper primary school will be capable of collaborating together on group projects, or that by the age of sixteen they will be capable of catching public transport themselves. Many parents hope that their child will get a job, financially support 2017

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themselves and live independently. These might not even be considered stories of great success, but simple and achievable goals for the majority of individuals. For the child with ASD who freaks out in the classroom and crawls under the furniture because their sensory threshold hits overload when more than one person speaks at a time, the noise levels involved with group work make that expectation almost impossible.

Their delayed executive functioning also renders them incapable of linking multiple ideas at once or keeping up with group conversations.

What ensues is not success and meeting expectations but social isolation and extreme anxiety.

and mental capabilities but also the emotional ones. Again, setting goals is important but when the goal becomes so overwhelming that it becomes a hindrance to itself, then is it realistic and is it worth it?

I found a beautiful definition of the word balance. It refers to balance not in the usual terms of the equal distribution of weight or equal proportions, but as appropriate proportions that bring stability and harmony. When we reach for benchmarks set by and for others, but for whatever reason may be unrealistic and unattainable for ourselves, our stability and harmony will suffer. By readjusting our benchmarks, and setting goals that offer a more realistic possibility of attainment, a right proportion is found and balance is restored.

Similarly, the adult with ASD who does not understand social rules and struggles to maintain personal hygiene, may never be capable of caring for their own child because they can barely take care of themselves. The goals that are often achievable for the majority, may not be realistic for many on the autism spectrum. Similarly, the potential others see in us may not account for underlying emotional turmoil and mental exhaustion we might feel, which is only exacerbated by the idea of having to live up to other people’s expectations. These hidden factors are what can tip the scales of success, such that goals become a burden to carry rather than objectives to aspire to.

The process of changing and realigning unmet goals, of setting new benchmarks for success, often contains an element of grief and disappointment, of letting go the old and embracing the new. It is important to acknowledge the feelings that accompany the loss. However, by readjusting our load and removing that extra weight, we are freer to charge forth on the new journey, down a different road, one that strives for harmony rather than distress, and peace rather than ruin.

So, when we look at goals, when we consider what it means to succeed and reach our potential, we need to do so from a realistic and individual perspective.

FEEDBACK

What does success look like for me? What is my potential? Am I living up to that potential? What are other people’s expectations of me and are they realistic and achievable? In that process, we may need to work through our own grief and disappointments, and decide not what success looks like to others, but what success looks like to ourselves. Parents or carers of people with ASD must do the same. Consider all the factors.

Be realistic about the strengths and weaknesses of the person for whom the potential, goals and expectations are being set. Not just the physical LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

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LIFE Edition 7, Issue 28

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