CommUNITY Magazine ( vol 1 iss 9) by Pride Center of the Capital Region

We’re Proud to Support These Businesses as They Support the LGBT Community Members as of October 1, 2013

AIDS Council of Northeast New York Athos Restaurant Bombers Schenectady Broughton Properties/ Keller Williams Realty Buenau's Opticians Central Avenue BID Charles F. Lucas Confectionery and Wine Bar Connections Psychotherapy Consumer Optical Crisafulli Bros.Plumbing & Heating Contractors, Inc Customericity, LLC GayAlbanyOnline.com Geri Pomerantz, Esq Grappa '72 Ristorante Hokkaido Albany Interim HealthCare

James W. Leone, State Farm Agent Joseph Dalton / Prudential Manor Homes Joseph Roche Journey United Church of Christ L&P Media Latimer/Stroud, LLP Mark D. Witecki, CPA CFP CFE Ronnie Mangione / Merrill Lynch Security Plumbing & Heating Supply Skylands Services, INC Steve Cook / State Farm Insurance Sunrise Management and Consulting The Point Restaurant Thomas J. Walling/Tower Square Securities, Inc. Tri City Rentals

Don’t Miss The Regions Fastest Growing LGBT Professionals Mixer: Our Business Alliance mixers have quickly become one of the most anticipated and popular Pride Center events.— and are only getting bigger. IF you haven’t joined us yet, make plans now for our next three mixers! Come and meet up with friends , distribute your business cards, enjoy some light fare and cocktails while making important business contacts.

Tues. Nov. 12th 6-8pm Experience & Creative Design

Tues. Dec. 10th 6-8pm University Club

510 Union St., Schenectady

141 Washington Ave., Albany

Tues. Jan. 14, 2014 6-8 pm Jack’s Restaurant Oyster House 42 State St., Albany

For More Information or To Join Visit: www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance/

Message

from the

President

Ken Mortensen

that I had during the summer. The Pride Center comes alive in the Fall. The Annual Gala will have passed as you read this. We are expecting over 340 people to the event. It’s an exciting time; I thank everyone for their efforts in making the Gala a success.

Fall is here! The weather has been delightful so far, but it will change at some point in the near future. For me it is time to put my gardens to rest, close up the screened porch, and reflect on the wonderful times

Election time is also here. How wonderful it is to have so many GLBT identifying politicians. This was not the case in many years past. I feel honored to know most of our local elected officials. Our Community is respected and officials are looking to “earn” the support of the GLBT Community. I have known Mayor James Gaughan of Altamont for many years. He was the Pres-

ident of OBKF when I first got involved with the organization. He is very active in our Community as are many other elected officials. I’m very thankful for all of their involvements in our region. I remember when I used to work the polls on Election Day. It was a very long 18 hours. It was good to see so many people at the polls. That was how I met many of my neighbors, and made some new friends. Please be sure to exercise your right to vote, it’s very important. In closing, I want to thank those who volunteer for the Center Youth Action Team. These youth are going out in the Community and making things better for all of us.

Director’s Note Can by

the affordable care act change our community? Curran Streett, Executive Director dotally or even firsthand of the needs that are unmet by our health care system. Too often our community is uninsured, misunderstood and poorly treated in the medical system. Many of us have given up on expecting quality care, or know someone who has.

You may have heard about the Affordable Care Act implementation, and you may have strong feelings about the new law. At the Pride Center, we have strong feelings about the health disparities our community continues to experience. You may know some of the numbers, or know anec-

The Pride Center is leading the way in the Capital Region as an advocate in the health care arena, both highlighting the need for increased attention to our community and providing necessary trainings to increase provider competence in working with LGBT people. We are proud to announce that in addition to this work, we will be enrolling people in the new health insurance benefit system as a result from a grant from the New York State Health Foundation. We see this opportunity as an important chance to reduce barriers our community has experienced and link LGBT people to a system

From The Editor’s Desk -

For almost 2 months, I’ve been coordinating and supervising the renovation of the

Michael Weidrich,

commUNITY

Pride Center’s basement (a/k/a the Garden Level). The space hadn’t been touched in nearly 20 years and was the last floor of the Center that needed some tender love and care. Let me tell you, it took a village to do this project! From a group of Eagle Scouts handling the demolition and painting, to another volunteer sanding and polishing the new hardwood floors, to the contractors installing donated kitchen cabinets and new appliances, to finally those Eagle Scouts building new shelves; it has been an amazing transformation! The Garden Level is now a warm and inviting space for our Center Youth Program. Not a bad 30th an-

that has been designed to be more supportive. As the landscape of healthcare access changes in our country, we are invested in advancing our community and leveraging the changes to improve our community’s health and well being. We hope you are excited about this opportunity, and look forward to serving you. As the “open enrollment” period progresses (from now until March) please consider how much more our community deserves from the health care system, and who can benefit from the Pride Center’s new program. Make an appointment to talk to an enrollment specialist from within our community, or refer your friends and family who have gone unserved for too long. While the Affordable Care Act has inspired much controversy, differing of opinions and we know it is not perfect, we deserve to find out for ourselves how we can benefit.

Editor niversary gift for the program! The other amazing building related development is that we now have a sign on the front of the building! A real Pride Center of the Capital Region hanging sign, telling the world “We’re here!” In the beginning, the Center wanted to remain anonymous and nondescript so closeted members of the community could access the building. Times have changed and this year marks 40 years that the Pride Center, formerly the Capital District Gay & Lesbian Community Council, has resided at 332 Hudson. So it is another fitting anniversary gift and definitely a “sign” of the times! 5

Here’s Guffman Talking “Next Act!” With Maggie Artistic Director, Maggie MancinelliCahill and asked her where the idea for Next Act! came from.

One of the most exciting times I spent in a theatre last year was at Capital Repertory Theatre’s “Next Act! New Play Summit”. This year’s festival will be held November 2nd through November 4th at both Capital Repertory and the GE Theatre at Proctors (see www.capitalrep.org for details). The program I saw was “The First Ten” which had readings of the first ten pages of a number of new plays which the audience was then encouraged to write down their reactions with response cards distributed by the theatre. I wonder how many of the audience’s initial impressions of these plays lined up with the professionals. It was a delicious appetizer of selections with topics ranging from Somali pirates to a KKK ladies bake sale. Last year’s festival also had full readings of two plays and a musical and a roundtable of reviewers discussing what they look for and how they respond to new work. It was such a great opportunity to encounter new theatrical work for everyone involved: administrators, authors, actors and audience alike that I was very pleased that they’ve scheduled it again this year after last year’s inaugural run. What I love about seeing new work is the grappling to get your bearings (who are these people, what do they want and what’s the author trying to say?) and the thrill of discovery after you’ve expended your energy, enthusiasm and concentration that is almost always rewarded with a new perspective. You’ve encountered a new point of view, turn of phrase and sometimes had a change of heart. To pay proper respect for this exciting new event on the Capital Region cultural calendar I went to its creator and mastermind, Capital Repertory Theatre’s

“Years ago, I was asked, ‘If you could have anything in the world as an artist, what would you want?’ I replied that I would like to be sitting on the Hudson River, on a beautiful summer afternoon, talking with playwrights about their work. As an Artistic Director, I have a great respect for ‘the word,’ and for those who are the source of all creativity in the theatre: playwrights. When Proctors and Capital Rep joined staffs, I told Philip Morris, Proctors CEO, that more than anything, I wanted to have more opportunities to work directly with playwrights to bring original works to our community. “’Next Act!’ is the result of that dream. I think that whenever audiences have a chance to understand an artist’s mission and intent -- all of us become richer: author, artist and audience. We deepen our relationship with the work and with one another. These experiences allow each of us to walk a mile in another person’s shoes. We don’t do that very much in our current fast-paced culture - so when we get an opportunity to meet one another on the same emotional or intellectual plane, it can be profound. That is what the act of creation is all about.” So, what does new work offer to Capital Region audiences? Why is it important to them and how do artists visiting Albany feel about us? “Regional theatre connects people with art: art that is happening in our culture - and art that is about to happen in our culture! Our audiences in the Capital Region are so savvy. We have one of the highest per capita of book buyers in the United States and everyone here talks politics. We want to KNOW. We are curious! This makes a great audience for new work! I want our audiences to savor the best of American culture and also have the opportunity to add to our culture by being a part of new work. I love our audience and feel that our patrons can be so helpful to authors and composers. When Gordon Greenberg and Tommy

Patrick White

Newman (book writer and composer of ‘Single Girls Guide…’) came to be with their show, I asked them, ‘Why us? You could do this work at other theatres.’ Both of them said to me, ‘Yes, we could, but your audiences are smarter and will help us get to New York!’ They were right. ‘Single Girls Guide…’ was accepted into the National Musical Theatre Association festival in NYC this fall as a result of all the work we did here at Capital Rep!” Can you give us a peek at what will be featured at this year’s “Next Act!”? “This year’s ‘Next Act!’ is the culmination of sorting through almost 300 play submissions! When ‘Next Act!’ was founded, we made a declaration that we wanted to highlight works that illuminated the role of technology in our society. This year, we had many plays that really focused on the role that technology plays in impacting our lives and our relationships. We are so thrilled that we have a drama that uses texting, Skyping and You Tube to convey the complexity of living in our modern world, as well as a very funny comedy about a charity scheme gone wrong via the web. This is Tech Valley. We are living in an area that is being transformed with technology firms and the changing populations that come with that territory. We are really thrilled to be able to have plays that reflect who we are in the Capital Region.” That’s something that theater is uniquely qualified to grapple with as our region grows and changes…showing us who we are. Not just by the stories presented onstage but by who are the performers and audience as well… “All the tech workers and artists in our area are a part of what Richard Florida termed, ‘the creative class.’ We are all in this petri

dish together - and we are all relevant!

Art matters and ‘Next Act!’ is a testament to that!” “Patrick White is a Capital Region actor who will be performing in “The Snow Queen” at Siena College directed by Jeffrey Mousseau November 14-23.”

My Big Gay Ears

Joseph Dalton years or so. Apart from appreciating the poems themselves, another fun aspect is collecting the little volumes of verse. I’m buying fewer novels, biographies and sundry other books than I used to. They’re darned expensive and they take up lots of space. Instead, I generally wait for interesting new titles to be available at the library.

I’ve been dreaming well lately. One likely explanation for my pleasant journeys through slumber is that I’m reading a few poems before turning out the lights. There’s a growing collection of gay poets on a shelf in my bedroom and one volume or another usually rests on the nightstand. As my cat snuggles up beside me on the bed, I flip through the pages and randomly select a few short things to read. I read the poems out loud. I’m the only one listening (at least I think so). Poetry’s magic seems to give out more sparks when the words can be heard. And not just through the mind’s ear but through actual ears. Like a child’s bedtime story, this practice of evening recitation seems to form a bridge to dreamland. And as I said, I’m liking the results. My infatuation with poetry is relatively new, coming on in just the last five

Poetry books, on the other hand, can be purchased for modest prices, especially when picked up at used bookstores. They don’t take up a lot of space, but still provide the tactile satisfaction of good old fashioned print on paper. Building a library of poetry books has also opened up for me a new pathway into gay culture. There’s so much more to be discovered than just Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman, though those guys are fine places to start. A third touchstone name would be Allen Ginsberg. He was an iconoclastic, defiantly out man, part of the famed beat generation from the mid 20th century. His most famous work is “Howl,” which opens with the line “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked…” “Howl” was the name of a film from 2010 starring James Franco. When it wasn’t recounting Ginsberg’s fight

against censorship because of his explicit poetry, the film slipped into hallucinating images from the epic poem, such as: “angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.” This fall Ginsberg and the beats are depicted in yet another major film, “Kill Your Darlings.” Daniel Radcliff plays Ginsberg. Though the film debuts in October, I’m writing this column before any reviews have appeared. It’s scheduled to open at Albany’s Spectrum 8 on November 22. If the story of some gay American poets isn’t reason enough for you to buy a ticket, then go to see Harry Potter in a gay love scene (I won’t tell). One more tip and one more name before signing off this paean to gay poetry. Christopher Bram’s “Eminent Outlaws: The Gay Writers Who Changed America,” published last year, is an excellent overview of the 20th century writers who helped establish gay rights. While introducing their major works, it includes plenty of lore about the love affairs and feuds that broke out among legends like Truman Capote, Gore Vidal, James Baldwin, and Edmund White, among many others. Finally, the poet who most frequently winds up on my bed stand is named James Broughton. Besides a writer, he was maker of experimental films and also a mystic (as are most poets). A new indie film about him is appropriately titled “Big Joy.” Broughton’s verses dance on the thin line between blaspheme and ecstasy, and that’s a place I like to hang out. Here’s a sample from his poem “Here Comes Your Messiah”: “Hello again / I am your overhead operator / I am the last message at the end of your line / If I plug you in / will you listen this time?” Joseph Dalton writes about the arts in the Times Union and sells houses across the Capital Region. Find out more about all his endeavors at: www. JosephDalton.net.

Introducing you to the City of Albany Citizen’s Police Review Board (CPRB) by

David A. Rozen, Esq.

Police violence is a pervasive problem facing lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people in communalities worldwide. Victims and community members share stories every day about being profiled by police and subjected to harassment, improper arrest, and violence at the hands of the police based on their perceived gender identity, and sexual orientation. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs released their report “Hate Violence Against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and HIVAffected Communities in the United States in 2012” in early June, 2013. In New York City, the results raised concerns. They found that in 2012 nearly 40% of LGBTQ individuals interacting with the New York Police Department (NYPD) reported police misconduct. Reports of police misconduct increased significantly from 8 cases in 2011 to 78 cases in 2012. The report also found that citizens reports of hostile attitudes from police doubled in 2012, with 43 reports, up from 21 reports in 2011. These incidents highlight a contentious relationship between the NYPD and LGBTQ communities in New York City. The Albany Police Department has made huge strides in rewriting protocol and procedures and devising training for officers intended to preserve the dignity of LGBTQ people who are arrested. They continue to work in a positive way with community-based organizations such as The Pride Center of the Capital Region, In Our Own Voices, etc. We have a diverse community in Albany and the police department’s job is to make sure they recognize and respond to that. It is their duty to treat everybody fairly and equally, with respect and dignity as human beings.

Effective civilian oversight of police is essential to ensure that the police department uses its powers and authority in a manner reflecting respect for law and individual rights and freedoms. Transparency and accountability to the public are the key ingredients for an effective program. Civilian oversight in the City of Albany is comprised of the nine-member volunteer civilian Citizen’s Police Review Board (CPRB). The board, which is administered by Albany Law School’s Government Law Center, was created in 2000 to improve communication between police officers and the community. The CPRB is an independent body established by the city of Albany in 2000 to improve communication between the Albany Police Department (APD) and the community, to increase police accountability and credibility with the public, and to create a complaint review process that is free from bias and informed of actual police practice. In addition to its authority to review and comment on completed investigations of complaints made by citizens against officers of the APD for alleged misconduct, the nine-member Board may make recommendations to the Common Council and the Mayor regarding police policies and practices relevant to the goals of community policing and the exercise of discretionary authority by police officers. Board members are appointed by the Mayor and the Common Council. In recent years, the Board has spearheaded three initiatives to improve policecommunity relations: an early warning system, which internally flags officers whose behavior signals potential problems; police internal affairs is now required to inform people filing a grievance of the CPRB; and cameras and audio equipment were installed in patrol cars, which has helped eliminate some of the difficulties in parsing complaints.

Ultimately, the CPRB’s responsibility is to determine if a complaint received due attention. When the CPRB analyzes a complaint, it looks at the APD’s investigation and decides if the APD did a complete and professional job. The CPRB cannot decide who is right and who is wrong. It cannot investigate; it cannot determine whether events alleged in the complaint are true; and it cannot discipline officers. The CPRB’s role is to determine if the APD thoroughly investigated a complaint. Sometimes, the CPRB may disagree with the APD about a complaint, but it can only decide if the Department did everything it could to investigate the stated events. To file a complaint: (i)send a letter detailing the incident to the attention of the Citizens’ Police Review Board, c/o Government Law Center, Albany Law School, 80 New Scotland Avenue, Albany, NY 12208. Please be sure to include your name, address, telephone number and any details about the incident that you are able to provide; (ii) Fill out a Citizens’ Complaint Form. You may file a complaint in-person or by mail with the CPRB or with the APD. Complaint forms must be signed by the complainant and can be dropped off at the CPRB’s office or at any Albany Police Station. I look forward to fostering a positive relationship between the LGBTQ community and law enforcement to ensure that any pervasive fear and mistrust of police on the part of our community is erased and police have the tools necessary to fight anti-LGBTQ hate. David A. Rozen, Esq. is a Board Member of the City of Albany’s Citizens’ Police Review Board, Chair of the Public Official Liaison Committee (CPRB), Member of the Community Outreach Committee (CPRB), and a Member of the Police Department Liaison - Policy Review/Recommendations Committee (CPRB).

Photo Caption (from top left to right): Rafi, Eliza, John, Eric, Tory, Jahnay, Nina, Jah-Sier, Gab, Katie, AJ, Troy, Taylor, Caragh, Athena, & Michaela.

The Center Youth Action Team Has a Record Number of Youth Leaders! by

James Shultis, Youth Program Coordinator

If you aren’t already familiar with our Center Youth programming at the Pride Center, hold onto your hats, because since September things have been moving in high gear! Now into November, we are excited to announce that this year; our Center Youth Action Team has a record number of youth leaders participating! We have 16 exceptional students from communities all over the Capital Region who have been working hard to encourage more welcoming environments for all youth, but especially those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer and questioning (LGBTQ). The Center Youth Action Team is designed to encourage youth leadership, contradict myths and stereotypes of the LGBTQ community, give voice to the rich diversity of the LGBTQ community, and provide positive representations of the LGBTQ and allied community. Throughout the year, our team engages in a number of training and speaking opportunities to help make schools and youth-serving organizations safer. The school year has already proven a busy one, in September and October alone our Center Youth program has already visited: Schuylerville, Schenectady, Tamarac, Troy Middle School AND High School, Voorheesville, Columbia, Albany, Shenendehowa, South Glens Falls, Bethlehem, Guilderland, Mohonasen, Cohoes, Stillwater, Saratoga and Emma Willard! In November we’re looking forward to working with many more schools

including Hudson, Burnt Hills, and Doane Stuart! Sometimes these school visits are with student groups like a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA), or peer-mediators/hall-monitors, other times we meet directly with faculty and administration where we deliver ally trainings and speak to best practices individuals can implement in their classrooms and school. We also help schools be in compliance with the Dignity for All Students Act (DASA) by taking a look at their anti-bullying/harassment/discrimination policies and talking about how to best tackle those issues. Want the Center Youth Action Team to come to your school? Let us know! We’re always looking for new schools to connect with! You can contact us directly at (518) 462-6138 or email jshultis@capitalpridecenter.org The Pride Center serves 10 counties in the Capital Region including: Albany, Schenectady, Rensselaer, Saratoga, Warren, Washington, Columbia, Greene, Fulton and Montgomery counties. Within those counties are over 200 schools, many of which we work very closely with to ensure they are supportive of the LGBTQ youth that attend through our Capital Region Safe Schools Coalition! You can learn more by visiting our website! Meet our team on Page 11!

The Center Youth Action Team Has a Record Number of Youth Leaders! by

James Shultis, Youth Program Coordinator

Check out our 2013-2014 Center Youth Action Team cohort! They are from all over the Capital Region and excited to be working to improve their schools and communities!

coming out as LGBTQ in the community. He is looking forward to being a part of the CYAT to encourage others and help them gain confidence.

AJ is a junior at Emma Willard in Troy. He is openly trans. He enjoys working within the LGBTQ community to promote change, and likes meeting others who share this goal. He also loves the feelings of accomplishment that come from creating a positive change in the community. Besides doing social justice work, AJ is into photography, playing the guitar, and hanging out with friends.

John is a senior at Schalmont High School in Rotterdam. In school he’s involved in numerous extracurricular activities including Key Club, the school literary magazine, school beautification club, MasterMinds, of which he is the captain, and Co-President of the school’s GSA. He is positively enraptured to be a part of CYAT because it is his hope to be able to assist in facilitating further tolerance and support in our community through education and interaction.

Annina is a junior at Bethlehem Central High School where she is President of her school’s GSA. Annina is also a part of the Lab School, a student-driven program situated inside BCHS, which encourages risk-taking, independent research projects, and interdisciplinary studies. She enjoys gymnastics, music, current events, and being involved in the community in whatever way she can! Athena is a senior at Albany High School. Currently she is in Art Club, Model UN, GSA, and STEP. She likes to read and draw, and is really excited to work on the CYAT because she enjoys being involved with the Pride Center and is looking forward to meeting new people and talking to others about the LGBTQA community. Caragh is 16 years old and is currently homeschooled. She joined the Center Youth Action Team to make friends, gain experience working with fellow LGBTQ and allied youth to help make a difference in schools. She loves reading, gaming, and goofing off with friends. She hopes to go into psych medicine someday, but for now she's active in Girl Scouting and Mensa in addition to the CYAT. Eric is a junior at Averill Park High School and identifies as gay. Joining the CYAT was important to him, because he wants to educate others. Education is the most effective tool for securing rights for LGBTQ people and fighting homo/trans-phobia, so he’s determined to do just that. When he was struggling with his own sexuality, he says he was extremely thankful for positive LGBTQ role models; now that he’s out, he wants to give back and be that role model for others.

Katie is a junior at South Glens Falls High School. She is currently the secretary of the school’s GSA. She is excited about being on the CYAT because she hopes to learn how to help others cope with the realities of society. Katie wants to be able to make someone happy to be themselves and let them know that they aren’t ever alone. Michaela is a junior at Schalmont High School. She serves as the President of her school’s GSA. Michaela hopes to gain a fuller understanding of the community with her experience on the Center Youth Action Team, as well as get the chance to interact with more people who identify as LGBTQ or allies! Rafi was born in Woodstock, NY, in 1999. He currently attends Albany High School. All his life, he has been adventuring all over the United States with his family. Rafi’s hobbies include playing piano, singing, climbing, and creating stop-motion animation films. He joined the CYAT, because he has always dreamed of helping to spread equality. Taylor is a senior at Albany Leadership Charter High School for Girls! She is involved in the Future Problem Solvers, Drama, and the GSA within her school. She is excited to on the CYAT this year, because she loves helping people! When she was a part of CYAT last year, she helped and reached out to so many people it brought glee to her heart. Giving back to a community that has given her so much like the LGBTQA community is extremely important to her!

Eliza is a junior at the Doane Stuart School, where they co-run their school's GSA. They are an active member of their soccer, track and mock trial teams, and enjoy art and math. They hope to be able to help other LGBTQ and allied youth become informed and confident in themselves and their identities.

Tory is a junior at South Glens Falls. Tory identifies as pansexual and gender-fluid. She is an active member of her school’s GSA and is always interested in meeting new people (one of the reasons she joined the CYAT), plus she would like to discover events going on in the LGBTQ community.

Gab grew up in Troy, NY, where their family has been for generations. Gab is a senior at Troy High School and a captain of Troy High’s GSA.

Troy is a senior at Tech Valley High. He is socially and politically active in his community. This past year he volunteered as a stage manager in a professional theater company, a local library, a food kitchen, and his community’s summer recreation program. He is interested in studying sociology, psychiatry, and philosophy. He has done individual projects like teaching a spoken word class, curating a youth art show, and organizing safe sex and HIV/AIDS awareness initiatives in his school. Troy believes being socially active is one of the most important things we can do for society.

Jahnay is a junior at Albany High where she is the GSA’s President. She is excited to be a part of the CYAT because she will be working in a place most comfortable for her, plus she gets to travel to different places to talk about LGBTQ issues. Jah-Sier is a freshman at Albany High. He loves to speak about his experience in life and love to help others who are looking at

Michael Cooks and You Can Too by Michael Meade

It’s that time of year again - it’s time to begin your Thanksgiving dinner planning. Thanksgiving is the time to gather with your friends and family, turn on some football, and enjoy your Thanksgiving meal. Thanksgiving dinner is the one meal of the year where you usually know what to expect and what you will be eating. Different areas of the United States have different Thanksgiving traditions, plus family have their traditional dishes that must be prepared. Honor your family’s history and make the traditional foods expected, then add a new dish that you would like to introduce. Thanksgiving dinner is a simple meal to prepare. All it takes to pull it off is some advance planning. The best advice is to write down everything you’ll need to do, break it down into manageable components and tackle each task in order. Two Weeks Before Thanksgiving Write out the menu, read over each recipe and make out your shopping list. Plan a cooking schedule and timetable. Indicate the dishes you can make ahead, those that can be frozen, and those that must be cooked at the last minute. Decide whether you want to ask people to help you, either by bringing parts of the meal (wine, dessert, appetizers, and side dishes) or by coming early to help in the kitchen. Make sure everyone knows what they are bringing and what, if any, serving dishes and utensils they should also bring. Make sure you have all the kitchen equipment you will need, especially a large roasting pan if you are roasting the turkey. If you don’t have a meat thermometer, purchase one. If there are any new recipes that you plan to serve for the first time, do a test run now. If you are making cheesecakes, make them

now and freeze them for later use. This will save you lots of time and frustration. If you’re baking pies for dessert, make the dough for the crust, roll it out, lay it into the pie plates, wrap in plastic wrap, and freeze. And please keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with buying a pie or cake at the bakery if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Decide how you are going to cook your turkey. If you choose to barbecue, deep fry, or smoke your turkey, you will not be able to stuff it. Stuffing or dressing will have to be made as a side dish. One Week Before Thanksgiving Clean out the refrigerator to make room for the Thanksgiving dinner groceries and prepared dishes. I know you probably don’t feel like doing this, but you will thank me later. Do your shopping now and purchase all non-perishables. Buy all the ingredients listed for your recipes. NOTE: Wait until the day before Thanksgiving to buy salad greens, fresh breads or seafood.

ing Day mistakes is not giving the turkey enough time to thaw and ending up with a turkey-sicle a few hours before dinner is scheduled to be served. Start defrosting the frozen turkey in the coldest part of the refrigerator (usually in the back). Never defrost a turkey at room temperature, since bacteria multiplies and breeds at room temperature. 3 Days before Thanksgiving A few days before Thanksgiving, iron table linens, designate serving platters, and make sure your glassware and silver sparkles. If you’re planning on having a separate “kids’ table” (a really good idea of you have more than a couple of children on board), buy some festive, colorful paper goods (tablecloth, napkins, decorations) and some sturdy plastic plates and cutlery. Some streamers or balloons will make it festive enough that they won’t whine about not sitting at the big table. Make cranberry sauce and refrigerate. Prepare other sauces, jellies, and dressings; store in the refrigerator.

Purchase your turkey. If you’re a novice, there are a lot of good websites where you can learn about the different types of turkey that can be purchased. If you buy a frozen turkey, store it in the coldest part of your freezer. To figure out how big of a turkey you need, estimate that each guest will eat about 1.3 pounds, and then round up:

2 Days Before Thanksgiving

8 guests: 8 x 1.3 = 10.4; your turkey should weigh at least 11 pounds.

Remove frozen cheesecakes or frozen pie crust from freezer and let thaw in the refrigerator. If you are making a gelatin dish, make it now and store in the refrigerator.

13 guests: 13 x 1.3 = 16.9; your turkey should weigh at least 17 pounds. At this point, you should also make sure that you have all the necessary cooking equipment. Besides the usual assortment of pots and pans, you should get your hands on a cheese grater, a strainer, an electric mixer, and various sized mixing bowls and baking dishes. 4 Days Before Thanksgiving If you’re bought a frozen turkey, you’ll need to start thawing it. Every 5 pounds of turkey will require 24 hours of thaw time in the refrigerator (i.e., a 15-pound bird will take 3 full days). One of the most common Thanksgiv-

Clean your house. The most important areas are the living room, kitchen and the bathrooms the guests will be using. Resist the temptation to redecorate or rearrange, as this will only give you unnecessary stress.

The Day Before Thanksgiving Finish preparing any pies that you are making. Purchase perishable items such as salad greens, fresh breads, or seafood. Clean and dry salad greens, and store in a resealable plastic bag. Mise en Place is a French term for preparing all the ingredients for a dish in advance, such as washing, trimming, chopping vegetables, setting out your spices and herbs, etc. If you do all this stuff today, you’ll have a stress-free tomorrow. (continued on page 14)

Michael Cooks and You Can Too (continued) Set the table as far in advance as you can. Use your best dishes for special occasions. Having your family together for Thanksgiving is a very special occasion. You will have plenty of things to do on Thanksgiving Day without worrying about setting the table.

stuff a turkey. NOTE: Never stuff the turkey with stuffing and then refrigerate it overnight or hours in advance; this is very unsafe. Prepare the turkey according to your recipe. Roast the turkey; baste every 30 minutes with pan juices.

Thanksgiving Day

Check the temperature using an instant read cooking thermometer. Always use a cooking thermometer. The turkey is done when the thigh meat reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees F. To get an accurate reading, be sure that your thermometer is not touching the bone. If your turkey has been stuffed, it is important to check the temperature of the stuffing; it should be 165 degrees F. Cooking time will vary with different ovens and whether or not the turkey is stuffed. Generally speaking, a 10 to 18 pound stuffed bird will take around 4 to 4 ½ hours. Remember to leave time for the turkey to stand before carving.

First thing, remove the turkey from the refrigerator, allowing it to sit for 90 minutes to 2 hours at room temperature. Depending on the size of your turkey, you’re going to need to start working on it 5 to 7 hours before dinner is served. Make sure that you take the giblets and neck out of the inside of the turkey. Rinse the turkey in cool water, pat dry, season, and dress it according to your taste and traditions. Prepare stuffing and stuff the turkey. It takes about 45 minutes to clean and

Remove the turkey from oven and make the gravy according to recipe. Complete the vegetable dishes. Reheat before the meal. Make the mashed potatoes. Prepare whatever appetizers you plan to serve. Warm breads or rolls. Garnish desserts. Now, relax and enjoy the day with your guests.

Happy Thanksgiving! Michael Meade studied at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently souschef for Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy. Send questions or comments to Mmeade1215@aol.com

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Supporting Yourself When by

Loved One

Madeline Nussbaum, LCSW Family Therapist

When the people you love go through changes it can be a challenging time for a relationship. Couples often navigate the process of becoming parents, shifting careers, buying a home, losing a loved one, and aging. When these changes include one partner coming out as transgender it can be especially hard. Although we are often prepared to manage our feelings when it comes to more expected transitions, when a partner or spouse reveals that they are unhappy with their gender, a host of complex emotions can arise. Being supportive to a loved one through this journey can be both difficult and rewarding. There are a myriad of implications that one partner coming out as transgender has on a couple’s identity, both as individuals and as partners. Often when someone first comes out as transgender, the way their partner accepts and receives this information is of primary importance. Many trans people hide their true feelings from their loved ones out of fear of rejection and mounting the courage to discuss this issue takes true bravery. Being the partner of a trans person requires being sensitive to your loved one’s vulnerability while also managing your own emotional reactions. In the initial stages of coming out, these reactions can range from shock and/or sadness to acceptance and excitement. It can be a rocky period for both new and long-term relationships. Often partners need to go through a process that includes anger, denial, and grief for the loss of the loved one’s prior identity. Some partners may have a harder time integrating this new information about their loved one. For others this news does not come as a surprise, and they are committed to help their partner connect more deeply to their

is in

Transition

Choices Counseling

and

true self. Regardless of the initial reaction, partners of transgender individuals will have various complicated feelings, questions and concerns both during and after their partner’s transition. Learning that one’s partner is transgender can change how one (or both) of the individuals in the couple think about their sexual orientation. This is true for those who are heterosexual and those who are LGBQ identified. Transition can bring up questions about attraction, sex, and sexuality. Does this mean that I am gay/lesbian? How will our sex life change? I’m not sure if I am attracted to men/women. It may raise concerns about how the couple will be perceived by chosen communities. How will our friends react? Will we be accepted if we stay together? What if we decide to split up? When couples have children together these questions can get even more complex. How will we talk with our kids? Will they understand? Some couples can weather these changes and grow stronger together. Some couples ultimately decide to end the relationship. For those who are in long-term relationships with a trans partner, life stage changes may present new hurdles. Having children or moving to a new community may bring up concerns that a couple has previously not had to face. How do we decide who to come out to, if at all? Will we be able to have our own children or adopt? How will others perceive our sexual identity as a couple? As couples navigate this process they need support. It can be beneficial for partners to seek support together, with an experienced couple’s therapist, but also as individuals. It can often seem like no one else in the

Consulting

world understands what it feels like to be going through situations. As a therapist working with couples and families, I have often heard from clients how meaningful it has been to meet others who can identify with what they are experiencing. Seeking community with others is one of the best things you can do to take care of yourself, in order to be healthier in your relationship. Hearing how others are managing can expand your horizons of what is possible. It is also important to take time for self-care. So much energy can get focused on your partner that it can be easy to forget to take space for yourself. Treat yourself to a long bath or a walk in the woods. Spend time as a couple focusing on things other than transition and gender concerns- going to a movie or out to dinner can help you remember that your lives are not all gender all the time. Finally, give yourself time to adjust to whatever changes are happening in your relationship. We all need time to process new things, and transition is not only a huge change for trans people, but for their partners as well. Madeline Nussbaum is a licensed clinical social worker at Choices Counseling and Consulting and also has offices in Springfield, MA. She works with individuals, couples, and families and currently runs a support group called “Trans Partners” that meets monthly on Fridays from 6-7:15. The group is for partners and spouses of trans people regardless of their sexual orientation, gender, or where they are in transition. More information can be found at the Choices website http://choicesconsulting.com or by calling 518-348-2222.

GenderF*ck: The Emergence & Danger by

Drew Cordes

Thanks to media portrayals and social privilege, trans* people like me (i.e., white, employed, well-educated) are increasingly able to have their voices actually reach some eardrums. Therefore, the cis mainstream actually has a detailed preconception of what the story of a trans* person probably entails. I’ve come to identify this as the “acceptable” trans* narrative. This is the story everyone can write: Ever since childhood, so-and-so felt they were “trapped in the wrong body.” They wanted to wear the clothes and play with the toys of the other gender. They were bullied and ostracized. As they grew up, they became depressed. Perhaps even suicide was considered or attempted. Eventually they got the help they needed and transitioned to the opposite gender through hormones and surgery. They’re much happier now, but things are still tough and they struggle sometimes. We all know it because this is the narrative our media and our political movements have chosen to portray, over and over, because it is the easiest to understand. Because it’s the least threatening to the actually-somewhatlimited political goals of the mainstream LGBT justice movement. Because this is the scenario our health-care industry has a treatable, profitable answer for (not even the answer, mind you, just an answer). Because

of the

‘Acceptable Trans* Narrative’

it does not challenge the established poles of the gender binary. We know it because it is an entertaining, satisfying narrative. Those who hear the story can slap a bow on it... and then walk away. But does this portrayal represent all of us? No. Does this narrative help all of us? Again, no. Part of me is thrilled that trans* people are becoming more visible and gaining social acceptance, but the picture cis people and cis media paint of us is simplistic to say the least. My concern is that it should not be only those trans people that our empathy, and thus, our resources, are going toward. We don’t want to hear about the messy cases. We’re not as familiar with the stories of inner-city trans* women of color who grow up disadvantaged, below the poverty line, poorly educated, disowned by family, and turn to sex work or living on the streets to survive. We don’t hear those stories over and over, but they happen over and over. And usually those stories do not conclude on a hopeful note. Anyone who’s ever attended a Trans* Day of Remembrance ceremony and heard the stories of all those murdered in the past year will solemnly corroborate this fact. We don’t hear about those who rebel against going from one sex all the way to the other, against our notions of what male and female

are in the first place. We’re out there in sizable numbers, but culturally and politically, we are not allowed to exist. It would be too off-putting to readers, viewers, listeners, students, employees, audiences, legislators, etc. To make even the tiniest strides toward justice that our easily spooked legislators will allow, our mainstream rights movement has decided it must put forth the most squeaky-clean, non-threatening, easiest-to”fix” representatives. I don’t wish to suggest that those who do fit the “acceptable trans* narrative” are unworthy of help. But there are countless trans* people out there whose voices you never hear, and I would like to suggest that maybe the reason we never hear their voices is because they are the very people who need the most help. In those cases, we cannot just sit and listen. Because there’s nothing to hear. We have to go find them. Albany resident Drew Cordes identifies as queer, trans, and genderqueer, and is a part of the trans* social justice group Transgender Advocates of the Capital Region. Reprinted with permission of The Bilerico Project: www.bilerico.com.

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*Trans is an inclusive term referring to transgender, transsexual, and other gender non-conforming people.

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For issue released in November

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Trans View #117: Remember November Is For Remembering.... by

Each year when November rolls around we begin a cycle of holidays that bring us together through the various communities in which LGBT people are a part. By that I mean, we are part of the United States War Veterans either through our own service or through the service of a loved one. We are now 75 years past Kristallnacht, November 9th, 1938 that previewed the horror and unmitigated tragedy of the Holocaust. We are part of what is barely recognizable today as a form a ancestor worship between the pagan New Year, Samhain (pronounced Sow-in), to All Soul’s Day, All Saint’s Day in the various Christian traditions, and in Mexico, and many parts of Central and South America, and increasing in the US, El Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), all happening from October 31st through the first week in November. In the Transgender Community there is November 20th, the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR). Then the energy shifts and in the United States the fourth Thursday of November is Thanksgiving Day. “Thank God!” we might exclaim after all of that deep remembering. One might ask, how do we bear the burden of so much remembering? So much reconnection to, often, what we consider, the tragedy, loss and pain that is often associated with death. That is especially true with the Transgender Day of Remembrance. We are not yet at a time in the trans community where we have created a counter balance to the horror and loss we experience from the continued onslaught of death by hate crime and suicide often visited very disproportionately to transgender women of color. I think in our own loosely parallel way, we attempt to create a sort of El Dia de los Muertos sort of remembrance ritual when we gather, now across the US and around the world, in ceremony and ritual to remember those we’ve lost, but we miss an important spiritual piece still. I would offer, we cannot as a community afford to just only remember and grieve anew, but we need to move forward to a more resolute, and yet more spiritual evolution in our relationship to the transgender individuals we have lost. The other holidays of remembrance have been with us long enough that resolve and spiritual relationship has taken root and blossomed. We, in the transgender community, are not there--yet. But with this, the 15th Annual TDoR, we might wish for something more with what we seek to accomplish with our remembering and grieving. Sup-

pose like El Dia de los Muertos, we took time to set up altars to remember individuals who have passed? Suppose we took time in contemplation of their lives to commune with them and communicate with them to put both them and us at ease, at peace, to listen for and to the wisdom of the departed? All the major religious holidays above presume that during this November remembering time the veil between the realms of the living and the dead is at its thinnest and there is this hope, this promise of peace through connection across the realms. We, in the transgender community could begin to build upon others example and existing wisdom to move our community toward a deeper more complete and evolving remembrance experience. Suppose like those who still walk among us who were witnesses to the horror of Kristallnacht and of World War I we listen and learn and we find our resolve? We become resolute in seeing that such things as transgender hate crimes become a thing of the past? Suppose we continue to broaden our educational efforts not only about transgender related hate crimes, but we educate about how we are not separate from others in our call for the end of all forms of hate and oppression, and to continue to recognize the intersectionality of such. We could educate why is it so important to cherish and love diversity--in all its forms. It is useless to mark TDoR without accompanying it with the resolve to make life for transgender people different in the future. Like war and genocide, this future does not come in 75 years or even 95 years (W.W.I ended in 1918) to be sure. But it can get better--that we know, that history promises us. It is important, too, that in our resolve, we become committed to shifting the conversation about transgender--among ourselves and in our culture. Our community needs to not only have the accompanying Transgender Awareness Week which now often co-occurs TDoR, but go beyond that. We need a holiday-perhaps a month or at least a week where we celebrate, wildly celebrate, all of that which we are and show to the world what a wonderful vibrant and valuable people transgenders are! Because that’s as much a part of changing hearts and minds and honoring and remembering our dead. Finishing the month with Thanksgiving Day is fitting. Moving beyond what has

become an ode to overeating and football, Thanksgiving Day is a day we can truly set aside to remember how grateful we are for all the little and big victories in the trans community, to be thankful for all that we have. Yes, for many transgender people Thanksgiving is a day filled with dread, disrespect, going back into the detransition closet and indigestion resulting from the stress of spending time with families who are intolerant. I know many in the LGB community face the same challenges. When we live in community with each other, it’s important to “be in community” with each other. Every year I support community dinners for Thanksgiving by sending a contribution or donating food. I encourage transgender folks who have no where to go for community, to go to one of the community dinners, where all are welcome--better yet to volunteer at one and make some new friends--oh, yeah, and educate others at the same time. What can we do in our community? Well, if you’re setting the table, make room, as the NE Regional Food Bank suggests, for the person who has no where to go. With social media so effective these days, there is no reason why we can’t create community for a day with and for others who would otherwise be suffering, stressed or alone. There could be, should be a way for folks to find each other and be with each other in the service and celebration of gratitude and thankfulness. Years ago, when my former partners and I would be making Thanksgiving dinner at home, we would always cast about for those in need of company, community and a good meal--we loved doing so, and the folks we served, were very thankful--and so we created a new LGBT painting from Norman Rockwell’s iconic paintings of the Four Freedoms: Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Worship (or not to worship, too), Freedom from Fear and Freedom from Want. May you all, transgender, cisgender and ally, be free in your remembering and in your thankfulness, and above all be Community to each other. Until next time...T Rev. Moonhawk River Stone of RiverStone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years experience and with extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and heatlh.

Out

in the

Garden Late August

By Judith Fetterely

mid-September to mid-October I am totally in love with my garden. I do not want to be anywhere else. The quality of light this time of year is clear and tender. The sun’s lower angle softens and warms all its light touches. Early morning is cold, but from late morning to late afternoon I can indulge. It is not yet time to take the garden down or to prepare my clients’ gardens for winter, so I am free to design and shape, to transplant, prune and thin. I am grieving the death of a friend. I am stunned by the gap her leaving has made. I am stunned by the strength of my conviction that she left too soon. My friend was in her 80’s and suffering from serious depression. Even so, she radiated life. My friend died before her time, that is all there is to it, and this has left me profoundly sad My garden is dying too, but this death does not make me sad. It is time for the garden to die and besides it does death so beautifully. Like Matisse, I am mad for color, and like Monet, I am obsessed with light. Autumn in my garden satisfies my lusts. From

Unlike August, the autumn garden requires some work to look its best for some of what was lush and tumbling a month ago is now bent and scraggly or just plain too much. So I release the vibrant pink mum from the mass of salvia that surrounds it, and I trim back the well-named creeping sumac to provide a view of the ice-blue needles of the dwarf white pine, and I cut down the daylilies so that the maroon of the sedums pops out. After work, Sara and I have tea on the patio. We sit and talk in the warmth of the late afternoon light and enjoy the magnificent orange of the maple tree, the dull burnished red of the sweetspire, the fire-engine red of the winterberries, the translucent yellow of the parrotia

Ask Mark Your Tax Questions Welcome to the DEAR MARK column where you can ask a tax question. Of course some questions cannot be answered due to the limited space in this column or warrant more facts due to specific circumstances of the taxpayer. Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304 Dear Mark, I worked in two states, New York and Massachusetts in 2012. My boss handed me my W-2 last January, but the only state wages shown were in New York. I contacted the payroll department and they told me they only withhold New York taxes. What to do? Should I be filing in Massachusetts as well? I have asked others and have received different answers. I don’t want to pressure my boss and lose my job, either. Signed, Confused

leaves, the shocking pink of the aster ‘Alma Poetschke.” My garden is dying but my lawn is surging back to life. The perennial rye, the red fescue, the Kentucky blue grass, even the tall fescue which I did not plant and do not want, are creating a carpet of the most vibrant green, life pulsing riotously in the midst of death. Though a Quaker and hence nominally a Christian, I do not believe in a literal resurrection. Still the beauty of the death all around me, the ferocity of my lawn’s continued growth, the force of my grief for my friend, all lead me to believe that energy persists; in some form or another we continue. Perhaps the secret lies in the timing. It was not time for my friend to die, but it is time for the leaves of the river birch to fall and my pears to drop from the tree. May I have the grace to know when my own time has come. Judith Fetterley lives and gardens in Glenmont,New York. She also runs Perennial Wisdom, a garden design business for new and existing gardens. She can be reached at fetterleyj@gmail.com.

By Mark Witecki

Dear Confused,

Dear What should I do,

Wages should be allocated to the state that you worked in or had substantial contact with.

You should amend the return as quickly as possible. You need to file a form 1040x for the Federal, and assuming (you don’t say which states you have income from) your only income is from New York and that you are a resident of New York, you should file an IT-201X to correct the wages as well as the withholdings. While amending, be sure to review the entire return for any other missing or erroneous items. Also, with a large increase in state withholding, you may now be able to itemize where before you would not have been able to do so. Your letter does not indicate whether this is the case. In any event, it is best to contact a tax professional such as myself to evaluate all the facts and circumstances.

In this day of telecommuting and the internet, the lines can be blurred as to which states to file in. You don’t say if you worked only a few days in Massachusetts, or the majority of the year, the nature of the contact, or what type of employment you are engaged in. Physical presence in a state is one, but not the only factor that determines filing requirements. Some states do not require a return where the income is less than the amount for one exemption for the state. I would contact a tax professional such as myself to evaluate all the facts and circumstances. Dear Mark, My employer just sent me a corrected W-2 for 2012. I already filed my taxes as a single person back in April. This new W-2 shows an increase in wages as well as withholding, and the increase is substantial. What should I do? Re-file the return? If so, how? How soon do I have to do this? Truly, What should I do?

The Gabyboomer Diaries: Sixty Feet to Success: Dr. Ray’s Road to Sports Stardom (Part 1) by Dr. Raymond H. Werking, Jr.

The year was 1958. Dwight D. Eisenhower was still in the White House, and the decade was slowly coming to a close. Rumors abounded that seated Vice-President Richard M. Nixon might well face the challenge of a dashing, young senator from Massachusetts named John F. Kennedy in the upcoming Presidential race of 1960, still two years hence. Against this backdrop, in the midst of a terrifying Cold War between the U.S. and Russia, a gay little farm boy languished in relative obscurity on a produce farm in East Greenbush. The young man was a student in Mrs. Condor’s 5th grade class in Green Meadow Elementary School in Schodack. The child begged the aged woman not to call him the formal version of his first name, but his desperate pleas went unheeded. It didn’t help that he possessed the athletic talent of a gnat and was picked last for every team except kickball. His social skills were about as impressive as his inability to play sports. The ten-year-old’s peers often called him a “sissy,” and that just about broke his skinny, little heart. All of this changed on the sunny morning of November 6th when his grandfather arrived home with a promotional pamphlet in hand put out by AMF

(American Machine and Foundry) and endorsed by the legendary Dick Clark of American Bandstand fame. The publication promoted the vastly growing popularity of bowling as a serious sport for those of all ages and just happened to mention that nearly every bowling establishment in the country had junior leagues scheduled on Saturday mornings. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I was the “basket case” just described. Ray NOT Raymond was about to move up in class.

of our ranch house with miniature pins and a baseball. For Christmas of 1960, I received a regulation bowling set and immediately constructed a scaled down version of an actual lane in the cellar. The World Book Encyclopedia provided me with the exact dimensions. Using tile, linoleum, couch cushions, and abandoned heater parts, the little gay boy who could not make a sugar scoop in shop managed to build the coolest bowling lane this side of the Mississippi.

I entered the bright, new lanes known as Bowling Green only two days later and was immediately assigned to a five man team. The establishment was nothing like the dark and dank building I had imagined. It was state of the art and offered automatic pin setters and underground ball returns, truly novelties for the day. Although my first few shots of our shadow ball practice session found their way into the gutter, I learned something amazing about myself on that fateful Saturday morning. I had been blessed with unbelievable hand-eye coordination. Within a few months, I was vying for the lead on the average chart of our small, new league. My teammates respected me and I was a “sissy” no more!

I practiced hundreds of games on weekends alone. What I may have lacked in natural talent, I more than made up for in accuracy. Relatives and neighbors used to marvel upon entering the house as to how my parents managed to tolerate the ungodly noise which made its way upstairs. Never once did my parents complain. Perhaps they knew that their firstborn was on his way to becoming a contender!

The proliferation of TV bowling shows was amazing. I watched each and every one and developed heroes. TV Tournament Time, the local Sunday morning show, actually had more viewers regionally than the wildly successful Ed Sullivan Show. Little did I realize that I would one day become a champion on the program myself in less than a decade. By the time puberty arrived, I had already started bowling in the downstairs

COMING UP NEXT: Meeting Heroes and Villains on the Way to the Top . . . Dr. Raymond H. Werking, Jr. is a lifelong educator and published novelist who has rededicated himself to completing his tell-all autobiography, “Unapologetically Alive.” He has a doctoral degree in English from the State University of New York at Albany. He volunteers as Executive Producer of HomoRadio which is now in its twenty-second year of service to our community. Don’t miss this awardwinning LGBT news and public affairs program’s live broadcasts every Sunday from 10:00 am until 2:00 pm on WRPI 91.5 FM, on www.wrpi.org, or via iTunes. Ray would love to hear your comments, questions, and feedback at DrRayWerking@yahoo.com.

ASK THE LAWYER by Carolyn A. D’Agostino, Esq. Question: What happens to a couple legally married in New York, if they move to a state where their marriage is not recognized? Though DOMA’s demise is a huge victory for marriage equality, the legal landscape is far from settled. Couples faced with the possibility of relocating or retiring to a non-marriage recognition state should carefully consider the impact of state laws on their family’s financial and legal status. Taxes: The IRS recently announced that it will use a “state of celebration” standard for determining whether a married same sex couple may file jointly. Thus, if you were married in NY but relocate with your spouse to Pennsylvania, you may still file a federal tax return as a married couple in Pennsylvania, but you may still be required to file your state income tax return singly. Given the unsettled state of the law in this area, couples should consult a tax advisor and consider filing a protective claim for state tax refunds if the state law becomes favorable to joint filing in the future. Estate taxes, too, are in limbo in non-recognition states. Most couples, same sex or not, are not affected by federal estate taxes because only gross estates in excess of $ 5.25 million are subject to estate tax. This means that, with careful tax planning and the use of trusts, a married couple can shelter more than $10 million from federal estate taxation. State estate taxes are a different matter. Twenty states (including New York) currently assess estate taxes and the exemption amounts are generally much lower, often $1 million or less. Married couples in both recognition states and non-recognition states should consult an attorney to determine whether an estate plan can minimize or eliminate estate taxes and should carefully consider the implications of retiring to a state in which their marriage will not be recognized for state estate tax purposes. Health Care Proxies: These are governed under state, not federal law. Couples should execute valid health care proxies designating each other as agents and take these documents with them on vacation, especially if they are traveling to states in which their relationship is not recognized. Employee Benefits: Governmental plans in states which recognize same sex marriage, such as New York, will recognize a spouse’s

entitlement to death and survivor benefits. The federal government, too, will recognize the designation of a federal employee of a same sex spouse for surviving spouse annuities. Recently, a federal court ruled that a private sector profit sharing plan that did not have an internal definition of “spouse” in its plan documents must recognize the surviving spouse’s claim as beneficiary of her wife’s death benefits. In that case, however, the couple resided in a state which recognized their marriage. It is unclear a couple who relocates to a non-recognition state would enjoy the same level of protection as many federal laws look to the state in which the couple resides to determine whether they are legally married. A married employee who resides with his husband in Pennsylvania, but who works in New York, might not be eligible for family leave to care for his spouse because the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) presently looks to the state of domicile to determine whether the couple is “married” for purposes of eligibility. Family Law: If you marry in New York, and then relocate to a state in which your marriage is not recognized, you may have difficulty dissolving that marriage if you and your spouse decide to split. Many in this situation are stuck in legal limbo – they cannot meet the jurisdictional requirements of residence to become divorced in the state in which they were married, and they are not able to get legally divorced in the state in which they reside. Pennsylvania, being a state with its own “mini-DOMA” law banning same sex marriage, will not grant a divorce to a same sex couple married elsewhere. Some states are contemplating allowing “tourist divorces” or a waiver of residency requirements for a same sex couple who is unable to divorce in their state of residency, but these would likely be limited to dissolving the marriage, only, and would be legally effective to distribute jointly acquired property. Relocation to a non-recognition state may have a powerful impact on custody and parental rights. Many states only recognize the right of the parent who is biologically related to the child and will not recognize the right of the other parent absent formal adoption. In some states, even adoption by the second parent is not permitted. This can become very problematic for the parent who is not biologically related to the child as many courts in non–recognition states will find

that this parent is a “legal stranger” and has no parental rights whatsoever. Debtor/Creditor Law: If you marry in New York, and divorce in New York, you and your spouse will both be jointly liable for joint debts you both acquire during the marriage if you are both the holders of the account. A business loan acquired by one spouse is not likely to be subject to collection from the other spouse in a non-community property state. If you are married in, or relocate to a “community property” state (such as California), you could be liable for your spouse’s debts even if your name is not on your spouse’s credit card or business loan. Bankruptcy: The demise of DOMA means that married same sex couples may jointly file for bankruptcy instead of filing two separate bankruptcy petitions which would save money and allow the couple to use the bankruptcy exemptions for married couples and the automatic stay protections to prevent creditor harassment and foreclosure once they have filed. Because bankruptcy petitions are heard in federal court in every state, it is likely that bankruptcy filings by same sex married couples will not be opposed, even in a state which does not recognize same sex marriage. Immigration: One of the most positive effects of the end of DOMA is its effect on immigration law. Many bi-national couples were forced to end their relationships or reside in different countries because they could not legally reside together. Couples who applied for permanent residence based on marriage to a same sex partner were often subject to deportation proceedings. Married couples who were unrecognized under DOMA are now eligible to sponsor a spouse for legal immigration or permanent residency. Family reunification provisions formerly enjoyed only by heterosexual married couples may also apply. Children of a lawful permanent resident (i.e. by adoption, born to the marriage or a stepchild of the US citizen) may also enjoy immigration benefits and the children of a legal permanent resident spouse of a US citizen may also file for that spouse’s children. Immigrant spouses who are victim... (continued on page 27)

ASK THE LAWYER (continued) of domestic violence may also petition for permanent residency under the Violence against Women Act, which now would apply the same coverage to same sex couples in the aftermath of DOMA’s demise. Accordingly, a legally permanent resident of an abusive U.S. citizen need not fear deportation after leaving that spouse. It is important to consult with an attorney well-versed in the subject area in which you are seeking answers before making any important decisions,

particularly a decision to relocate to a state which does not recognize your marriage. The use of documents such as wills, trusts, partnership agreements, and powers of attorney documents cannot be over-emphasized. Until all fifty states recognize marriage equality, there will continue to be unsettled legal and financial issues facing married couples. Carolyn A. D’Agostino, JD., LLM., is an attorney in Latham, New York. She has an advanced law degree in estate

planning and elder law and assists same sex and different sex couples and individuals in estate planning, family mediation and elder care issues. She is a past president of the Rensselaer County Bar Association, a member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of the Capital District and a certified mediator. She may be reached at Carolyn.dagostino@gmail.com, or by phone at 713-2144. Any opinions expressed herein should not be a substitute for legal advice and are not the opinions of the Pride Center.

To Be a Blessing: Harvesting Our Blessings by Billie Aul Audrey Seidman, this column’s editor, celebrated her 60th birthday on the Sabbath during the Sukkot festival at her synagogue. Sukkot, among other things, is a Jewish harvest festival, and Audrey gathered in many friends from the various fields of her life. I was glad to be part of the gathering, especially as, despite my somewhat snarky atheism, I felt the need for some Sabbath peace after enduring a hellish week. It had started with a meeting of women to discuss a craft program for children that deteriorated into bickering over power and status in the group. I returned from the meeting to learn that a dear friend from the community had died. His funeral mass was in the best tradition of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” except for a eulogy, which, while more open, was still discreet. No pronouncements from the Pope, however conciliatory, would have made it possible for anyone there to discuss my friend’s struggles to find an authentic spirituality as a gay man in an institution that was, at its best, willing to overlook an important aspect of his life. The next day I found myself at a trans event. As a non-transitioning genderqueer, trans events focused on surgery and hormones can make me uncomfortable. But people for whom that path is best still need support from the rest of us, so I do go occasionally. This one featured a movie about the lives of trans people, and I thought it would be uplifting. I think, however, that the events of the week had sharpened my “something is wrong here” detector. What I witnessed, hidden in the movie and more overt in the Q&A, was a fair amount of sexism that didn’t have to do with gender

choices, but with the original socialization of the person based on their biological body. In other words, people who had been born as men were marginalizing and ignoring people who had been born as women, whatever their later gender choices were. I was not uplifted. I arrived at Audrey’s event, ready to throw myself into celebrating her and leaving behind the week: some good food at the potluck, some time outdoors on a beautiful evening in the Sukkah (a temporary hut with a roof of branches to allow star-gazing), a congregation open and accepting of people who are different, pleasant liturgy that doesn’t carry emotional baggage for me. And I found all those things. But more importantly I found Audrey’s friends. There were women who were among the people who started the women’s studies program at SUNYA; old friends of Audrey’s and mine from the peace and justice movement; and, most surprisingly, a born-again Christian with ties to members of my former Catholic Charismatic commune. Audrey had met him in her chaplaincy program and, as she had done with all the rest of us there, folded him into her life. As the liturgy wound its way through themes of harvest and autumn, I realized that the people Audrey and I have each gathered around us as we enter this autumnal part of our lives are a rich harvest indeed. Although I didn’t take Women’s Studies courses at SUNYA -- the genderqueer inside was uncomfortable being that closely identified as a woman -- the women who started it and their feminist colleagues gave me the analytical tools to understand

power structures and the damage they do whether it’s in a craft group, a faith group, or a queer group. And the peace and social justice people gave me the courage to speak up for the oppressed and to try and deflect power from harming other people. And my commune, with its large contingent of closeted queer people, surprisingly taught me to value my real self, though I had to leave behind God to embrace it. Seeing the lives of some of the more conservative members of the commune through Audrey’s friend’s eyes, I was reminded that they helped teach me my first lessons in valuing community: the kind of community that Audrey, as well as her born-again friend, create by valuing the individual standing in front of them, rather than meeting people with a pre-conceived set of expectations. My week would have been worse without this harvest, less rich without the invitation to share in it. I hope, as you prepare for Thanksgiving, you will be able to collect some of your harvest about you and be thankful for its blessings. Billie Aul is a genderqueer writer from Albany who has been published in venues such as CommUnity and Chelsea Station. Advocates for Welcoming Congregations (AWC) is a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. AWC also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Shalom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithshalom.com (518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)436-9761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161

First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville.org (518)458-1562

First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580

Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861

First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)5843720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open! Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous!

The Fashionable

and the

Frivolous: The Tailored Life

If you’re going to make one investment in fashion this season, don’t put it into a new coat, or a new pair of shoes, or even a new bag. Invest in the clothing you already own by taking your favorite pieces to a tailor. Far too many of us make the mistake of thinking that we’re a Medium across the board or a size 34 waist exactly. Most women know that sizes don’t run true (in this instance it’s easier to be a man), but there’s a simple solution to this: find a tailor and have your clothing altered to fit the one person who’s unlike anyone else in the universe ~ you. No two people are exactly the same, so it’s foolish to expect a mass-produced item to conform to every body type. When you buy a new house, even if you’ve designed it from the ground up, there are still tweaks and revisions you have to make. As you settle in and see how things work, you realize you need to paint this, or move that, or redesign certain space – and you do, because that’s how you get to a place that you love. The fact is that we live in our clothing just as much as we live in our homes, so why shouldn’t we make sure that they’re just as perfect?

When most of us buy a suit or a formal gown, we think nothing of having it altered before wearing it out. The better department stores have their own altering services to make sure that those items fit exactly as we’d like them to fit. Yet too many of us stop there, investing in a nice suit and forgetting the cargo it sheaths: the shirt. This is where you can separate yourself from the pack, elevating your look to a new level of sophistication and elegance. Even the most extra-slim-fitting shirts can billow for some of us - and what’s right for the build of one person is wrong for another. Tailoring can fix this. It helps if you’ve invested in a quality shirt that will last beyond a few washings (in other words, I’m not sure I’d waste a tailoring charge on something trendy from H&M). But for dress shirts you will be wearing regularly, it’s a worthy investment, and one that can make an old wardrobe feel brand new. While professional tailoring seems to be a diminishing art form, I’ve found that most dry cleaners offer alterations at reasonable rates. For something

Alan Bennett Ilagan

more important - like a formal gown or a proper tuxedo, you may want to find someone more careful. The point is that no matter how small or insignificant the alteration may seem, it will make a big difference. Whenever I’m asked for the number one thing to do to improve a wardrobe, it’s always tailoring. The simple secret to dressing well is to find clothing that fits. And if it doesn’t, a tailor can force the issue in the finest fashion. Alan Bennett Ilagan is a freelance writer and amateur photographer who resides in upstate New York with his husband Andy. He created the website www.ALANILAGAN.com, which contains a repository of his work, as well as a daily blog; the website recently celebrated its tenth anniversary online. He was the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery from 2008 to 2012. His writing has appeared in Instinct, xy magazine, Capitalmen, Q Northeast, the Windy City Times, and the Boston Phoenix. Notable artistic collaborations have been created with the likes of Steven Underhill, Paul Richmond, Dennis Dean, and Michael Breyette.

Is Coming…... 29

COVER STORY: Elected In these days of government shut downs, corrupt politicians and municipal scandals, it is very easy to get discouraged, angry or even downright disgusted with the state of politics in our country. But in honor of this year’s Election Day and in celebrating our constitutional right to vote, we would like to highlight our out-and-proud elected officials from around the Capital Region who are not just representing the LGBTQ community but the greater communities they live in. From Mayors to Legislators to Judges, we cross the spectrum of elected offices, each person standing as role models and leaders that have gained the support and admiration of their constituents. _______________________________ _________

by the

People, Out

to the

People

Michael Weidrich

In the Capital Region, there are several openly gay men in elected offices with very few openly gay women. Why do you think there are not more lesbians in office?

ability to file a joint federal and state tax return. More importantly, from a community point of view, it affirms the legitimacy of our relationships and the respect they’re entitled to.”

“I think it has to do with the proportion of women to men in elected office generally.”

What are you most proud of in your tenure to date? “There is no single issue. I’ve been proud to be an advocate for the LGBT community on the Council winning enactment of domestic partner benefits, transgender non-discrimination law and support for marriage equality. I’ve also worked to make the Council a stronger branch of government and have passed important measures related to neighborhood quality of life, nuisance abatement and public safety.”

RICHARD CONTI -Albany Common Councilor, 6th Ward. First elected in 1997, re-elected in 2001, 2005 and 2009; seeking re-election this year. Democratic and Working Families party candidate.

MARGARET WALSH - Albany County Family Court, elected 2004, Democrat - Married. “I hope that more people will be motivated to get married. I like performing marriage ceremonies.” What are you most proud of in your tenure to date? “Being consistently fair and patient, and catalyzing changes to court procedures that are helpful to children and families.” What is the hardest part of being a judge? “Every day I see people who are traumatized on some level. Often the trauma is significant.”

- Came out in 1987 when he was fighting to win passage of the Albany Human Rights Ordinance. At the time of his first election he had been an out LGBT political activist for 10 years; but he also had a record of involvement in his neighborhood and community on issues that everyone cared about – straight or gay – such as public safety, quality of life and building strong neighborhoods. The 6th Ward, which includes the neighborhoods surrounding Lark Street, has always been a progressive and diverse area. - Richard and his partner Steve Snow have been in a partnership since 1986; on their 25th anniversary, Nov. 1, 2011, they were formally married. On Nov. 1 of this year they will celebrate the 27th anniversary of their partnership and the second anniversary of their marriage. “From a personal point perspective the defeat of DOMA makes life simpler for us in certain ways, especially on the

JUDD KRASHER -On Primary Day, Judd was elected to be the Democratic and Working Families Party Nominee to represent the 11th Ward on the Albany Common Council. What was the biggest catalyst for your political aspirations? “I ran for Council because I see enormous room for growth and opportunity in Albany and, particularly, the 11th Ward. I ran because I want Albany to be a place that people want to call home. We can do that by focusing on our diverse and eclectic neighborhoods. From getting more local businesses to take root, to retaining our young professionals, to making home ownership more affordable, we have a lot to accomplish and I want to be a part of Albany’s renaissance.”

(continued on page 29)

Elected

by the

People, Out

JUDD KRASHER (continued) You ran your campaign as an openly gay man. Did you have any backlash while on the campaign trail? “There was some backlash. While it was troubling, all it did was motivate me to work harder. I won’t forget a conversation I had with a deeply conservative man who wanted to know how about those “f** abominations.” I let the man know that I fell under his definition of an abomination and said “with all respect, I do not want your vote.” However, I was sure to send a note to the man letting him know that even though we have fundamental disagreements, I look forward to serving him on the Council. And even though he despises me because of how I was born, I will fight to make his quality of life and your neighborhood better. One of my friends told me, “You may have ended up earning his vote!” The lesson is: You can make kindness paramount while sticking to your convictions.”

BRIAN HAAK

-Town Councilman, Town of Colonie, interim appointment in June 2012 and elected to a three-year term in November 2012. Democrat endorsed by both the Democratic and Working Families parties. First held public office over 25 years ago at age 20 when appointed to fill a vacancy on his hometown’s village board. Since then, he has held a variety of both elected and appointed offices including village justice (7 years), town justice (6 years) and town/ county supervisor (1 year). Have you been openly gay throughout your tenure? “In my current position, yes. When I interviewed for the position, was appointed, and then ran for the Town

to the

People

(continued)

Board, I was open about being gay because it is part of who I am. I remember one committeeperson telling me he did not support me being selected as the Democratic nominee because he didn’t think Colonie was ready to support a gay candidate. I, however, never thought for a moment about not being open and honest about being gay. I wanted to be open for essentially three reasons. First, I am gay; I don’t hide it. Second, if you keep something so fundamental about yourself secret from the voters, they think you are either ashamed of yourself or they wonder what else you are hiding from them. Finally, if a teenager struggling with his or her sexual orientation sees a positive openly gay role model in sports, politics or business (something I don’t remember having), then hopefully he or she says “I’m okay.”

that, although I “may not be able to do much damage on social issues as a member of the Colonie Town Board,” my election as an openly gay candidate “could help pave the way to a higher office in the future.” I didn’t know I presented such a threat. I keep it hung up on the wall of my office and enjoy a chuckle every now and then.”

Now, I wasn’t always open. I became a teenager in the early 1980s in a small town at a time when being gay was consider an illness or sin by many and AIDS was just starting to be an issue. I went through high school, college and my early political and professional life just avoiding the subject and having absolutely no social life in fear someone would find out. I am glad the world, to a large extent, has changed and people can be open about their sexuality and eventually I became more comfortable simply being myself.”

JAMES GAUGHAN - Mayor of Altamont since 2005; Nonaffiliated. “Altamont, like many villages, does not have party lines, which means no primary as well. Running for office in Altamont means you choose your own party name, which represents what it means to your community. In my case, I chose “Altamont 1st.” There are many interests that can crowd Altamont’s agenda, but for me Altamont comes first. Need I say more!”

Have you had any backlash from your constituents for being openly gay? “From my constituents? None that I am aware of. Some constituents said they were glad I was open and glad that Colonie was a progressive place. However, during the campaign I didn’t talk about my sexual orientation. I campaigned on my 25 years of experience in local government and on the issues facing the town and the voters responded to that. I think I won because of all the experience (both personal and professional) I bring to the table and because the people of Colonie believe we are going in the right direction. In the closing days of last year’s campaign, however, the Association of Politically Active Christians did come out against my election. They expressed a concern

Have you had any backlash from your constituents for being openly gay? “No. The fact that I am gay doesn’t raise much of a ruckus. Keith, my partner, and I have lived openly in the Village for 30 years. Despite the horrors we may witness on the national level, local political life can be much different.” What are you most proud of in your tenure to date? “We have nurtured a progressive community which provides more services and programs to our youth and the elderly population, implemented a master plan for the village, improved our (continued on page 30)

Elected

by the

People, Out

to the

People

(continued)

JAMES GAUGHAN (continued)

City Council but resigned after being elected to this County position.”

aging water and sewer infrastructure, increased the level of professionalism and competence of our staff, kept taxes and costs low, preserved our historic legacy, and increased communication between the community and the government.”

Partnered? Married? What does the defeat of DOMA mean to you? “I was partnered for 26 years but we are now going our separate ways. I am very happy that DOMA was defeated since I thought it was very discriminatory. This country has always stood for freedom and liberty and not limiting freedoms. It must always be this way.”

What is the next big issue you are working on in 2014? ‘My friends often joke that I am in too many meetings about the plumbing! In fact, infrastructure needs and protecting our environment for our historic village will probably predominate my attention through the next several years. Not too sexy, but it is one of the biggest issues that Altamont and communities in the Hudson River estuary will have to address.”

GARY PAVLIC - Elected in a special election last year (2012) and have served since January, 2013 as a Rensselaer County Legislator, representing County District 1, which is the City of Troy. Lifelong Democrat. Have you had any backlash from your constituents for being openly gay? “I have always been openly gay but I have not screamed it from the rooftops. I am myself and live my life openly. I have not seen any backlash yet from constituents for being openly gay. I have been active in Troy for many years and have been very active in the Democratic Party for several years. I also serve as District 5 Democratic Leader and am a Committeeman. Last year I served as Secretary to the Troy

What are you most proud of in your tenure to date? “I am most proud of the work that I have done in Troy by starting the Troy Anti-Violence Initiative (TAVI). I continue my community work because we cannot make a lot of changes on the County level because we are in the minority and I have served less than one year. So I continue my work in my community trying to reduce the number of violent incidents in Troy with TAVI. Part of this group is bringing SNUG to Troy, which is a group trying to reduce the number of illegal guns on the street and reducing violence in the community. I am also assisting with establishing new teen programs so that teens can make good decisions about their time instead of making bad decisions. The Police Athletic League is up and running now because of contacts made through TAVI. Assemblyman John McDonald is working with us to help attain funding for SNUG Troy.”

JOE KEEGAN - Mayor of Village of Castleton. First elected in 2010, in his 2nd term. “Village elections are a little different

from general elections. Most candidates for village offices create their own party designation. My party is called Castleton Village Coalition.” - Partnered. Not officially married yet. Joe and his partner have been together close to 25 years and have a 12 year old son, Timothy. What are you most proud of in your tenure to date? “My emergency robocalls are very popular. If there’s an issue with the water, sewer, trash, power outage, etc I will do a robocall to all village residents and I’ve gotten alot of positive feedback on this. People will pass me on the street and yell “love those robocalls”. As a Mayor I can also marry people. The first couple I married was two women. I realized that this was the first same sex marriage performed in the village since it was founded in 1827. “ What is the next big issue you are working on in 2014? “I worked on some quality of life issues so far (painting some of village hall, paving, crosswalks, community picnic, tree planting on Main St.) and in 2014 my goal is to get a bridge built over the Amtrak tracks to some land the village owns on the Hudson. “

KEN ZALEWSKI -Elected to Troy City Council, District 5 on November 6, 2007; took office on January 1, 2008. Registered Democrat, but also endorsed by the Working Families Party for each of his four campaigns, and this year (2013 election), (continued on page 31)

Elected

by the

People, Out

KEN ZALEWSKI (continued) also endorsed by the Independence Party. Ran unopposed in 2009, and again right now in 2013. Due to term limits, this will be his final campaign, and 2014 will begin his fourth and final term on the Council. Have you been openly gay throughout your tenure? “Yes, when I ran for my first time in 2007, I made the decision to run as an openly gay candidate - the first openly gay candidate, and subsequently, councilman, in Troy’s history. I had already been coaching the Albany Bombers ice hockey team (Albany’s first and only LGBT hockey team) since 2005, and the team had been covered in various news stories, so I was already “out” publicly at that point. The only somewhat negative reference to my sexual orientation occurred during the Democratic primary in 2007. One day before the primary, an anonymous mailer was sent to around 1,500 Democrats in District 5. The mailer used my photo from the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund website (I was endorsed by them), and had quotes such as “OUR guy, OUR time, OUR city. Ken is endorsed by the gay and lesbian victory fund.” Basically, the mailer tried to make it sound like my entire campaign was about me being gay, not about the issues. It was also made to look like my Democratic opponent sent it. It was actually sent by the Republicans, I later learned. It did not influence the electorate at all. I won my Democratic primary with 89% of the vote.” Partnered? Married? What does the defeat of DOMA mean to you? “My partner Mike (Oliver) and I just celebrated 20 years together in June. We were “married” back in 2004 when Mayor Jason West began marrying gay couples in New Paltz. Of course, those marriages were not legal at the time. We are still searching for those documents to determine if we are actually legally married right now. If we cannot find the documents (we moved to a new house since then, and we still have boxes to go through), then we will officially get married within a few months. We were

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absolutely thrilled with the Supreme Court decisions on DOMA and Prop8. I was holding out some hope that maybe the Supreme Court would just declare same-sex marriage a fundamental right and legalize it across the county, but my pragmatic side knew that was a stretch.” What piece of advice would you give an LGBT person who is considering running for public office? “It’s cliché, but clichés are often right: just be you. Don’t hide it. Don’t be ashamed of it. Own it just like any other part of who you are. Ultimately, people don’t give a damn about your private life. They want to know how you’re going to make their life better. Have a plan, articulate that plan, and you’ll be fine. If you happen to be unsuccessful, don’t give up. Always keep pushing forward. And don’t blame any of your failures on who you are as a human being, it’s terribly self-abusive. If people don’t vote for you because you’re gay (and there always will be) that’s a problem for them to figure out, not you!”- Judd Krasher “I give the same advice to anyone considering running for public office: be honest, be sincere, and work hard. The voters want someone who will be honest with them, who truly cares about their lives and who will work hard on their behalf. Do or be those three things and you will be fine.” –Brian Haak “For the county’s LGBT community, many have worked long and hard to achieve equality to marry and to have the same rights as the rest of our citizens. The world changed since Keith and I moved to Altamont 30 years ago from downtown Albany. Much has been accomplished. I know much more needs to be attended to, but in the end, an LGBT person who may run for public office needs to take a long-hard look at their abilities to do well as an elected official. Having the perspectives learned as a gay person is an advantage. However, just being gay is not enough. I believe that an elected official should have strong professional skills, and those skills should be used to create better communication and efficiency.

An elected official should seek to understand and clarify the issues of your community, listen to the divergent and valuable input of those who are affected, and make decisions that strike the best balance among differing opinions - a decision-making process that will always put your community first, not single interests or one-sided points of view. You do not just work hard, but work smart. Being gay has added value to the capabilities and perspectives I have as mayor for sure. I believe I have a deeper understanding of equality and basic rights, have an acceptance for others who may be different than the norm, and recognize that all people bring talent and strengths to the table, not just those representing the status quo. I assume that those who elected me have some sense of the diverse talents that I bring to government, but I think that I was elected because I was the best candidate for the Village, and being gay had little to do with winning, nor was it a detriment. In the end, Keith and I are proud that we have nurtured a perspective for our community that makes it much more multifaceted and accepting of people of many different perspectives.”- James Gaughan “Do it! You will have a lot of support from the LGBTQ community and beyond.” – Margaret Walsh “My advice: Just be true to yourself and to those you seek to represent. People dislike politicians in part because politicians are perceived as saying anything to get elected - morphing themselves into whatever they think the voters will desire. At the local level especially, you are offering yourself up to serve your neighbors and fellow citizens. Your connection with them should stem from a true representation of yourself. My other piece of advice is to stick to the issues. While being “out” on the campaign trail is important personally, most people don’t care either way, and they want to know that you are going to take their problems and concerns seriously, and that you have solutions to their problems. Campaigning is not about you - it’s about the people you seek to represent.” –Ken Zalewski

Elected

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People, Out

What is the biggest challenge to living your life in the public eye? Anyone who lives in the public eye has to expect a certain sacrifice of privacy and also understand that the job is 24/7 365 days a year.- Richard Conti Not rolling my eyes at the person in front of me in line at the grocery store counting out their change. Just kidding. As a young, single guy I think the biggest challenge is dating. Being in the public eye immediately puts you under more scrutiny. Being part of a generation where online dating is preferred can be frustrating. Ultimately it is entirely worth the sacrifice and I’m hopeful I’ll find my partner regardless. Otherwise, it’s just the little things like not leaving the house in your PJs and with bed head to grab a cup of coffee! - Judd Krasher I am very, very bad at remembering

LAW OFFICE OF ANNE REYNOLDS COPPS Casey Copps DiPaola, Associate Kate Siobhan Howard, Associate

126 State Street, 6th Flr. Albany, New York 12207 518.436.4170

arcopps@nycap.rr.com kdipaola@nycap.rr.com katesiobhanhoward@nycap.rr.com

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names. When people who have been in my court talk to me outside of court, I can’t always remember their names. I’m working on it. – Margaret Walsh The biggest challenge in being open and serving in the public eye is remembering that most people are good at heart and if you treat them well and with respect they will reciprocate. – Gary Pavlic There have been contentious issues where some residents end up unhappy. Running into them at a school sporting event or the library, for example, can sometimes be awkward. Oh, and getting through the supermarket checkout without someone asking about road paving when I’m just trying to get a quart of milk. – Joe Keegan Keith’s and my professional life in State government taught us what it really means to be a public servant. On the one hand, being a successful elect-

Adoption Business Formation Education Law Employment Law Estate Planning Family Law Matrimonial Law Medicaid Planning Name Changes Real Estate

ed official, is gained by hard work and a selfless dedication to community, not one that is given to you just by getting the most votes. On the other hand, being a gay couple in the public eye raises the stakes in a sense. You work harder to demonstrate that anyone like us can succeed in public service, so that others may see us a role models and encourage them to serve their community as well. As mayor I send a clear message that we are a vital part of our community and that public service is an integral part of who we are. My election was a small victory in the greater scheme of electoral politics. But, I think it means huge gains for Altamont and the LGBT community. Altamont has a mayor with skills and knowledge who leads the Village in a new direction of open government and accountability. The LGBT community has one more elected official whose commitment and compassion has made our Village a better place to live.- James Gaughan

Pride Center Special Events Friday, November 1: 1st Friday at the Romaine Brooks Gallery, 5-9pm. Come to the Romaine Brooks Gallery, the Pride Center’s very own art gallery! This month’s featured artist is Lisa McLain. Wednesday, November 6: Board of Directors Meeting, 6pm. The Board meets the first Wednesday of every month at the Center. All meetings are open to the public to observe for the first half of the meeting. Friday, November 8: CONNECT: Supporting Families of LGBTQ Youth, 7-8:30pm. Come together with parents, family members, and friends who have LGBTQ youth. Finding and extending support; building community. Every second Friday of the month. Tuesday, November 12: Business Alliance LGBT Professionals Mixer, 6-8pm. Experience & Creative Design, 510 Union St Schenectady. $5 suggested donation. Meet up with friends and network with new contacts. 5% sales from evening donated to Pride Center. Thursday, November 14: Dinner at the Century House, 5-9pm. 997 New Loudon Rd. (Route 9), Latham. 10% of bill donated to Pride Center. Be sure to tell your server that you are there for the Pride Center - and enjoy your meal! Thursday, November 14: College Student Night, 7-9pm. RPI Student Union, Mother’s Room, 15th Ave & Sage St, Troy. Join your fellow local LGBTQ students for a night of socializing, networking, and getting to know the Pride Center. Free food and refreshments! Sunday, November 17: Vintage Pride Potluck, 1-3 pm. First Presbyterian Church, 362 State Street, Albany. Bring a dish to share and enjoy drinks and dessert provided by the Pride Center. A casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55+. Sunday, November 17: Queer Film Night, 6pm. Come watch a free movie in our Rainbow Café and stay for a discussion led by our Center Youth Action Team! All ages. Wednesday, November 20: Transgender Day of Remembrance, 6-8pm. Emerson Hall, 405 Washington Ave, Albany. Gather as a community to celebrate, memorialize, and commemorate those lost this year to violence based on gender identity and expression. Sunday, November 24: Supper Sunday, 5-9pm. The Pride Center’s monthly program that offers a free, delicious community meal home-cooked by our fabulous volunteer Mike C. the last Sunday of each month. Thursday, November 28: Potluck Dinner: Relearning History and Building Community, 5-7pm. Join us for dinner as we discuss both Thanksgiving's misrepresented history and what chosen family can mean in LGBTQ communities. Please bring a dish to share! SAVE THE DATE! For our Holiday Party on Wednesday, December 18, 6-8pm! All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Avenue, Albany) unless otherwise noted. For more information call (518) 462-6138.

Ongoing Events Sundays

Wednesdays

Rainbow Café Drop-in

Board of Directors Meeting 1st Wednesday of the month, 3rd Floor, 6pm

Weekly, 1st Floor, 6—9pm LGBT Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 11am-1pm

Vintage Pride Potluck Lunch 3rd Sunday of the month, 1—3pm First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany Movie Night 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 6:30pm Supper Sunday Last Sunday of the month, 1st Floor, 5—9pm

Women’s Group 2nd & 4th Wednesday of the month, 1st floor 6-7pm Potluck, 7-8pm Support Group Live from the Living Room Open Mic* 2nd Wednesday of the month, Garden Level, 7pm LGBT Book Club* 3rd Wednesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7pm

Thursdays

Rainbow Café Drop-in, 6—9pm Thrive LGBT Youth Group (Ages 16—24) Weekly, 3rd Floor, 6—7:30pm LGBT Narcotics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm

Mondays

Men's Peer Support Group Weekly, 1st Floor, 7—8:30pm Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm

Schenectady Rainbow Nights Youth Group (Ages 13—18) 1st & 3rd Thursday of the month, 6—7:30pm Proctors Theater, Underground Space, 432 State Street, Schenectady

Free Confidential HIV Testing 1st & 3rd Monday, 3rd Floor 4—7pm

Game Night 2nd Thursday of the month, 1st Floor, 6-9pm

Tuesdays

Fridays

Capital Region Support Group for Family and Friends of LGBT People 2nd Tuesday of the month, 7pm First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady More info: Julia Helfman 518.372.9911

1stFriday @ Romaine Brooks Gallery 1st Friday of the Month, 3rd Floor, 5—9pm

Trans Pride Discussion Group 1st Tuesday of the Month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm

Trans Pride Meet & Greet 3rd Tuesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm

* Indicates outside groups that meet at the Pride Center.

Albany Youth Group (Ages 13 – 18) Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm

CONNECT: Supporting Families & Friends of LGBTQ Youth 2nd Fridays, 3rd Floor, 7-8:30p Free Confidential HIV Testing 2nd & 4th Friday, 3rd Floor, 4—7pm

All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Ave) unless otherwise noted.

Pride Center Administrative Office Hours Monday—Friday: 10AM-5PM Saturday—Sunday: Closed

November 2013

Pride Center Affiliate Events Sundays, November 3 & 17: Bisexual Potluck Brunch, 11a-1pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany. Come for great brunch and a meet other bisexual members of the Capital Region community. Wednesday, November 13: “Live from the Living Room” Poetry Open Mic Night, 7-9pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany. This month’s featured poet is Eileen Clynes. Wednesday, November 20: LGBT Book Club, 7-9 pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany. The book this month is The Bridge of San Louis by Thorton Wilder. Thursday, November 21: Saratoga Pride Lesbian Breakfast, 7:30am. Country Corner Café on High Rock, Saratoga. Latecomers welcome.

Community Events Wednesdays, November 6 & 20: In Our Own Voices’ Out The Closet I Am Support Group (Ages 21-30),* 6-8pm. For more info visit www.facebook.com/ outtheclosetiam Wednesdays, November 13 & 27: In Our Own Voices’ TransCare,* 6-7:30pm. TransCare is a social group for transgender POC to share their voices about community issues. Saturday, November 16: "Mother's Little Helper" Calendar Launch Party, 811pm. The Hangar, 675 River Street, Troy. $10. 1940's-themed party with Drag Review, Comedienne, Photostation and DJ Truemaster to benefit the Pride Center of the Capital Region. Calendars available! Contact: brenda@upstatephotographers.com

*All In Our Own Voices events take place at 245 Lark Street, Albany unless noted. For more info, call (518) 432-4188 or email info@inourownvoices.org

H If you would like to have your events posted in the CommUNITY newsletter, please visit our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org and click on the events tab and select calendar of events. From there you can submit your own event. Or email lcudlitz@capitalpridecenter.org. Events must be submitted for approval by the 5th of the month.

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Our faith is over 2000 years old...

Our thinking is not. Worship Every Sunday 10:00 a.m. “Comma Club for Kids” 9:00 a.m. Children’s Program during Worship

Journey United Church of Christ NEW LOCATION: 27 Hannay Lane (off 9W) (Cyprus Shrine) Glenmont, NY 12077 (Behind Milestone; near Johnny B’s)

No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here. God is Still Speaking

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Seeking to be a Multicutural, Multiracial, Accessible to All, Open and Affirming, Peace and Justice Congregation that welcomes all regardless or frace, gender o rsexual orientation.

The Albany Gay Men’s Chorus Presents

“A Place Called Home”

Friday, December 13, 2013 - 8:00 PM First Congregational Church 405 Quail Street (oﬀ New Scotland Ave.) Albany, NY Adults $10

Saturday, December 14, 2013 - 7:30 PM Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Ave. Saratoga Springs, NY Students $7

Under 12 Free

(Advance discounted tickets available at Romeo’s Gifts in Albany and through the Pride Center of the Capital Region at www.capitalpridecenter.org.) (A portion of the proceeds will beneﬁt the Albany Damien Center Rebuilding Fund)

AGMC

e-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com website: www.albanygmc.org facebook: AGMC

AGMC is an afﬁliate of The Pride Center of the Capital Region

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