Kung saan payapa ang daigdig
Where the world is at peace
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caloy pena 1
Kung Saan Payapa Ang Daigdig Š All rights reserved 2015 Walang bahagi ng akdang it ang maaaring kopyahin o ilathalang muli, sa alin mang uri ng paglalathala ng walang kasulatan ng pagpapaubaya mula sa mayakda. Layout mula sa HappyHourProductions Litrato mula sa CBPhotography Isinulat at nilathala para sa internet sa East Coast, Singapore Where The World Is At Peace Š All rights reserved 2015 No part of this book may be reproduced, printed/reprinted or re-distributed, in print or otherwise, without written consent from the author Layout by HappyHourProductions Photo by CBPhotography Written in East Coast, Singapore
Minsan, kailangan mo lang talagang magsulat. Para sa ating mga magsinglikot ang utak. Sometimes, you really just need to write. For those of you who are as messed up as I am.
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Kung saan payapa ang daigdig
Where the world is at peace
ALIMPUYO 5 AND THEN IT ALL WENT SLO-MO 6 BEHIND THE MESS 7 IISANG LIBOG 8 KASABAY 9 OF WALKS AND OLD MEN 10 PAKIUSAP SA LANGIT 11 SI POPO SA SALAMIN NG ALON 12 TODAY I BATHED 13
ALIMPUYO ikot. ikot ka lang. takbo. habol. takbo ka lang. galaw. talon. galaw ka lang. haplos. hagod ka lang. kadyot. ilang ulos na lang. galaw. hagod. galaw ka lang. iyak. hikbi ka lang. hiyaw, sumpa, at dagukan mo lang. ikaw. hindi s’ya. ikaw lang.
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AND THEN IT ALL WENT SLO-MO the cars, the buses, the trucks and their honking the birds, the mothers, all the children and their screaming the world stood still, taken aback by those eyes that stare that held my breath and took me by surprise i dared not to calm myself down, oh no because deep inside of me your fire decided to grow it gnawed from within, unrelenting, all else i’d forgo and then suddenly, you smiled again, and all things went slo-mo.
BEHIND THIS MESS behind this mess of swirling little dots i see myself inching away into sleep that finally decided to dawn on me but never to reside, only to visit and leave me craving for more thereafter. i sit at the edge of the bed, wond’ring what callousness this deprivation imposes to someone so frantic as i am. the night waited for an answer and got none but a naughty heckle known to a few. behind this mess of swirling little dots no mark, no solitude, no spirit rocks; only a lifeless bastard who tames the night.
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IISANG LIBOG iisang libog tayong lahat pawang alipin ng pakikipagsapalaran di iilang langit ang hinahalukay para lamang matukoy ang perlas na siyang magpapaikot ng puso, ng pagkatao, ng buhay. iisang libog tayong lahat kasabay ng bawat ihi ng langit– kumikislot sa ating pagkatao ang iisang daloy ng dugong sinlapot ng pansarili nating pag-iimbot. kabilang tayo sa iisang lipi ng hayop na tila di napapawid ang pagkagumon sa laman, sa kaluluwa, sa kapayarihan na angkinin ang pagkagumon ng iba. iisa ang libog nating lahat– mitsa ng kawalan ng nadarama sa bawat talulot ng pansariling kasarinlan sino ang dahilan ng lahat ng kalungkuta’t hilahil kundi ang ating sarili’t sarili lamang. tayo’y iisang libog, hinubog ng iisang hulma iisang mga kamay iisang pagkamakasarili.
KASABAY kasabay ng pagtagas ng langit ang pagdaloy ng luha nitong puso maging kaluluwa ko’y nananangis tila may hinahanap sa gitna ng kawalan ng pita at ng agam-agam. pinatid ng nawawalang pag-asa ang aking pagkatao at pinagtampulan ng sisi at pangungulila ang walang-buhay kong pagkatao kasabay ng pagtagas ng langit.
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OF WALKS AND OLD MEN man takes long walks along the park and ponders on images he sees– reflections on the lake mirrored on his specs; lover quarrelling at the queue of cement benches; birds perched on old statues that stand still only long enough for you to stare at them, and yet change positions when you are not looking. he wonders why things happen as they are, and why they are not. he asks himself of his definition of reality and how his father used to take trains to work, only to quite after just a few months of getting his dream job.
PAKIUSAP SA LANGIT pakiusap sa langit: iwan mo ang iyong sarili at dal’hin sa imp’yerno ang lahat ng alinlangan. kasabay ng bawat indayog ng pag-ibig ay ang biyaya ng kawalan ng sariling pagkakakilanlan– hindi mo na muling makikilala ang iyong sarili. matapos mong hagkan ang pisngi ng d’yos mong bulaan, ipahid sa iyong mukha ang uling ng kahapon, nang malaman ng lahat na ika’y madungis, puno ng sala may pinagdaanan. halika’t hipan mo ang aliwalas ng langit patungo sa iyong kawalan ng pagkakakilanlan– ito ang iyong pangarap, hindi ba?
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SI POPO SA SALAMIN NG ALON wala kang anino sa salamin ng alon, popo, maghunos-dili ka– wag padadala sa alindog ng alon sa pangako ng katahimikan sa ligaya ng kuliglig ng dagat wala kang pagkatao sa gitna ng laot, popo magpigil ka ng pagluha– ika’y di isdang lulan sa likod ng pating di ka aliping pagong sa bawat hagupit ng talulot ng karagatan popo, maghunos-dili ka.
TODAY I BATHED today i bathed in muted sunlight basked in the silent loss of you refuge regained from dumbed down heat and reality seemingly leveled, unmasked and yet skewed. i took lee in muted sunlight hugging what warmth was left behind tried hard to keep my insanity intact failed miserably, yet unfazed in fact. what little muted sunlight i bore, kept my heart beating, seeting, living wanted to keep in touch but i won’t kept loving you, but the sunlight said, don’t.
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CARLO VENSON PEÑA, MDS Kasalukuyang kumukuha ng kanyang doctorate sa Educational Management, nakatapos siya ng kanyang master’s degree sa kursong pangkaunlarang pag-aaral. Sya ay may-asawa at isang anak na ipinangalan sa kanya. A facilitator by training, he is pursuing a doctorate in Educational Administration, and has finished a master’s degree in development studies. He is married with one daughter named after him. http://www.issuu.com/carlovenson/docs All rights reserved © Written in East Coast, Singapore