Catholic East Texas: January 2016 (Vol. 29, No. 2)

T

EXAS CATHOLIC EAST

THE MAGAZINE OF THE DIOCESE OF TYLER

The

Family

JANUARY - FEBRUARY 20161

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On Our Cover-A CATHOLIC FAMILY

For this issue of the Catholic East Texas, we talked to a variety of families from our diocese, to see what makes them tick. We talked to young families, old families, families in Catholic schools, families who teach other families, and families who minister to families in trouble.

Bishop Strickland writes first in his reflection about the ideal of the family, and the value of this ideal to keep us oriented in a world where families often have many different compositions out of necessity.

The Bishop also writes about Natural Family Planning and the Catholic teaching on chastity in marriage. Although many find this teaching difficult, Bishop Strickland reminds us that following God’s will is often difficult, and grace is the help God sends to each one of us to meet life’s challenges.

Dan and Natalie Hererra, Natural Family Planning instructors in the Diocese of Tyler, write about their experience as students and then instructors of NFP, and give a directory of instructors in the diocese.

Next we talk to Jamon and Jess Copeland, a married couple who are both coaches, about the struggles facing a Catholic family.

They describe the parallels between spiritual growth and athletics,

workouts and coaching in the spiritual realm, and how to be a Catholic team player.

Dr. Allison Low writes about Catholic wisdom for people in struggling marriages. Don’t lose hope! Marriage requires sacrifice, and God leads us by His example on the cross and gives us His grace to help us in the most difficult situations.

Susan DeMatteo reports on the pilgrimage to the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, and on the Families Anonymous ministry at St. Charles Borromeo Parish in Frankston.

We examine Catholic teaching on marriage and annulment, and the changes Pope Francis has made to the annulment process for the Year of Mercy. Margaret Oppenheimer, Tribunal Administrator, explains the process and encourages people to seek help.

We discuss Catholic education with the Richbourg family, whose third generation is in Catholic schools in Tyler. They agree that Catholic education is the best foundation for a Catholic life.

We talk to three couples who have been married more than 50 years, and ask them what it takes to stay together for life. They testify to the action of God’s grace in their own lives.

Visión Hispana examines the family in God’s plan, as a source of religious vocations, and as participant in the works of mercy. q 1

ONLINE

Between issues of the CET Magazine, you can always get the latest news and information from the Diocese of Tyler online. Here are some of the online updates and features available right now at dioceseoftyler.org>>> 271

YEAR OF MERCY: BISHOP’S REFLECTION

37

Sun Valley Detroit Reno Blossom

Toco

82 Honey Grove

82

Paris

Roxton 19

271

Clarksville

259 82

Annona

37

Deport

Avery

De Kalb

Bogata

Pecan Gap

271

Cooper Tira

Hooks New Boston82

30

Jesus Christ, True Mercy 24

37

67

67

Como

Lone Oak 69

West Tawakoni East Tawakoni

Emory

Edgewood

Fruitvale

Mabank

Tool

Payne Springs Enchanted Oaks

Caney City

155

Winona

Gallatin

79

294 79

164

Grapeland

Huntington

Burke Diboll

287

Lovelady

75

Huxley

21

59

Broaddus

Fuller Springs

69

87

San Augustine

Chireno

103

Lufkin

Hudson

94 19 21

21

103

Kennard

Centerville Leona

96

59

7

Crockett

7

Wells

21

Latexo

147

Zavalla

Bronson Hemphill 96

Pineland 87

Groveton

Normangee

94

Madisonville 190

7

287

7

Marquez7

7

Center

59

Appleby

Nacogdoches

69

75

79

Joaquin

84 Tenaha

Garrison

Cushing

21

Alto

Oakwood

Buffalo 45

Jewett

59 Mount Enterprise 84 Timpson

84

69

294

Gary 59 City

315

Reklaw

Rusk

84

Elkhart

79

Carthage

79

259

84 75

59

149

Henderson

79

155

Palestine

Fairfield Teague

Tatum

Beckville

New Summerfield

Jacksonville

75

84

149

Waskom

20

43

Easton

43

64

Troup

175

Streetman

14

Rolling Meadows Lakeport

135

Poynor Berryville69 Frankston

19

Uncertain

Scottsville

Marshall

80

Hallsville

Liberty City

New Chapel Hill 64 135 Overton New London Arp Whitehouse 259

287

Wortham Kirvin

20

Tyler

Coffee City Bullard

Trinidad

175

49 Jefferson

59

Nesbitt

259

Warren City Clarksville City White Oak Longview

80

271

Kilgore

155 Moore Station

Athens

59

49

154

West Mountain East Mountain Union Grove

Big Sandy

Gladewater

Chandler Brownsboro Murchison 31

19

175

Star Harbor Malakoff

31

Hawkins

Lindale

64 Edom

Seven Points Gun Barrel City Eustace

Avinger

155

154

271 300

155

80

69

Van

20

77

155

Gilmer

Mineola

Grand Saline

Canton

Ore City

155

154

69

Wills Point

Texarkana

Domino

59

59

Linden

Hughes Springs

Lone Star

37

Quitman

Alba182

19

80

243

Nash

67

Douglassville Queen City 77 Bloomburg Atlanta

8

Daingerfield

Winnsboro

Yantis

77

Marietta

259

49

271

Rocky Mound Pittsburg

154

19

Point

Omaha

Mount Pleasant

Monticello

37

Naples

67

Mount Vernon Winfield Millers Cove

30

Sulphur Springs

Maud

8

19

Cumby

Leary

Wake Village

259

Talco

287

69

63

Trinity

45 75

19

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With the Year of Mercy beginning last month on December 8, Bishop Joesph Strickland has asked the clergy, religious and lay faithful of the Diocese of Tyler to consider what mercy really is. The Bishop writes, “Real mercy is strong and powerful because it does not shy away from our broken existence... it brings the healing balm of truth and genuine freedom to bear.” Read the reflection: cetmag.org/truemercy NEWS: TCC STATEMENT

Syrian Refugees & Security

The Bishops of Texas have issued a statement regarding the security situation with respect to Syrian refugees. The bishops ask all to “avoid impulsive judgments in setting public policies.” Read the statement: dioceseoftyler.org/syrianrefugees

SOCIAL: LIKE, SHARE AND DISCUSS

Find us on Facebook

The Diocese of Tyler has a growing presence on Facebook! Follow us to see photos, news and videos. Many of our parishes are also on social media. facebook.com/dioceseoftyler YEAR OF MERCY: DIOCESAN WEB SITE

Merciful Like the Father The official web site for the Year of Mercy in the Diocese of Tyler features prayers, information on diocesan events, and guidelines for pilgrims coming to the Cathedral to pass through the Door of Mercy. More information, including special catechesis and a program on the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy will be posted to the site throughout the Jubilee Year, which runs through November of 2016. Visit the site for the Year of Mercy: dioceseoftyler.org/mercy 2

Find photos from a variety of diocesan events: www.flickr.com/dioceseoftyler/albums

THE MAGAZINE OF THE DIOCESE OF TYLER

Vol. 29 Issue 2 January - February 2016 Catholic East Texas (USPS 001726) is a publication of the Catholic Diocese of Tyler, 1015 ESE Loop 323, Tyler, Texas 75701-9663. Telephone: 903534-1077. Fax: 903-534-1370. E-mail: news@ catholiceasttexas.com. ©2015 Diocese of Tyler.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: CET Subscriptions, 1015 ESE Loop 323, Tyler, TX 75701-9663 Published five times per year. Periodical postage paid at Tyler, Texas, and additional mailing office.

Subscription is $20 per year. News, calendar and advertising deadlines: Aug. 10, Oct. 10, Dec. 10, Feb 10, April 10.

The publisher and editor reserve the right to reject, omit or edit any article or letter submitted for publication. The Diocese of Tyler and/or the Catholic East Texas cannot be held liable or in any way responsible for the content of any advertisement printed herein. All claims, offers, guarantees, statements, etc., made by advertisers are solely the responsibility of the advertiser.

Deceptive or misleading advertising is never knowingly accepted. Complaints regarding advertising should be made directly to the advertiser or the Better Business Bureau.

Publisher Most Rev. Joseph E. Strickland Bishop of Tyler Editor-in-Chief Peyton Low peyton@catholiceasttexas.com Managing Editor Ben Fisher ben@catholiceasttexas.com Assistant Editor Susan De Matteo sue@catholiceasttexas.com Spanish Editor Sr. Angélica Orozco EFMS sistera@dioceseoftyler.org

www.dioceseoftyler.org

This Issue

01 05 06 10 13 16 20 24 26 30 32 34 40 41 42 44 46 48 52

On the Cover

Bishop Strickland Diocesan News and Calendar Susan De Matteo

Natural Family Planning and God’s Will

Bishop Joseph Strickland

One Family’s NFP Experience Dan and Natalie Herrera

Teamwork: Building the Catholic Family The Copeland Family

Marriages in Touble Allison Low

The Family: God’s Masterpiece

Tyler Delegates at the World Meeting of Families

Be Not Afraid

Understanding Annulment and the Year of Mercy

Families Anonymous

Offering Hope to Families torn by Addiction

Dividends for Life

Three Generations in Tyler Catholic schools

Golden

Three couples married more than 50 years share their stories

Monseñor Strickland

La Familia

Según el Designio Amoroso de Dios

Familia Cristiana

Fuente Principal de Toda Vocación

Los Reyes

Una Familia de “Inteligentes” para Cristo

Familia y Obras de Misericordia P. Roberto Gomez

Tribunal Eclesiástico P. John J. Gomez, JCL

Learning the Sacred Liturgy Peyton Low

All registered parishioners in the Diocese of Tyler receive the Catholic East Texas magazine for free. If you are a member of parish or mission in the Diocese and you are not receiving your free subscription to the magazine, please contact your parish/mission or complete this form so that we may add you to our mailing list. http://cetmag.org/cetsubscribe

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Photos on these pages are from the visit of the major relics of St. Maria Goretti to the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Tyler on November 2, 2015.

For more photos from the event, go to:

www.flickr.com/dioceseoftyler/albums

Bishop Strickland

Fourth Bishop of the Diocese of Tyler

I am pleased to be able to share some personal reflections in regard to marriage and family as part of this edition of the Catholic East Texas. As I ponder these central elements of our human journey, my thoughts move from my own personal experience of family to some of the beautiful teachings that our Catholic tradition offers us.

Although we must acknowledge that the institutions of marriage and family are threatened in our modern era, it is my hope that as believers we can truly celebrate marriage and family and all the goodness they bring to our world. As our bodies are composed of a myriad of cells with diverse functions and purposes, the Body of Christ is composed of a similarly diverse community of “cells” which are the family. To take the analogy a step further, every marriage between a man and a woman committed to each other for life is the nucleus of a “cell” that is the family.

It is essential that we hold on to this ideal image of family. The basic model of family is the union of a man and a woman for life surrounded by children. Because the variations on this model are countless, we are often tempted to ignore the fact that this basic definition of family is the model that God our creator offers us. Too often in modern society when we hold up this model of family we are accused of being judgmental, uncaring or bigoted. It is essential that we embrace every individual and whatever family they are a part of with great compassion. It is a great challenge for us to keep all of this in balance because there are so many

complex elements that enter into how an individual family is composed. There are many variations from the above model of family that create great challenges and are not by anyone’s choice, but we must also acknowledge that many times our personal choices impact our family in significant ways. Often in numerous ways every family fails to be a model of the ideal. This should not cause us to ignore the ideal but guide us to compassionately embrace every family, however fragmented.

During his recent visit to the United States, Pope Francis spoke of the family as “God’s masterpiece.” I encourage us all to embrace this image and glean from it the joy and hope that our loving God wants to share with every family. Just as in the world of art there are many variations on how a masterpiece is expressed, the same is true for the family. Seeing the family as God’s masterpiece reminds us that God is an essential member of each family. Every member of every family is a sinner and in need of God’s masterful work of mercy in their lives. God, the master artisan, is at work on each of us offering His mercy, His love and His life.

The ideal of family is God’s masterpiece, but we acknowledge that each of our individual families is an unfinished masterpiece. The call of our Catholic faith is individually and within our families to cooperate with the master artisan as He transforms us in His image. The Year of Mercy is an ideal time for each of us to reflect on how we can be models of mercy in our own family and the wider family of God’s people. Ultimate-

ly the family itself is a beautiful expression of God’s love, mercy and compassion for every human person. He knows that we need family as a place to grow and develop and become more and more fully His children.

May we continue to journey in the Lord as we seek to gather one day at the family table that is His heavenly banquet. q

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Diocesan News

By Susan De Matteo

and Calendar of Events Sue@CatholicEastTexas.com

Diocese

The Diocese of Tyler Office of Faith Formation has scheduled a number of formation events for parish catechists.

The office is sponsoring Spanish-language catechists’ formation days for children with special needs Jan. 9 and March 5, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. in the chancery.

John Barone will present a session on How to Succeed in Learning Situations for parish catechists March 5, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at the chancery. Cost is $15 by March 3 or $20 at the door.

Formation days for parish Christian Initiation teams will be Jan. 30, April 2 and June 25.

Presentation of candidates and the elect to Bishop Joseph E. Strickland will be Feb. 14 and Feb. 22 at 4 p.m. in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. A reception will follow in the Cathedral Center.

To register for any of the events or for more information, contact the diocesan Office for Faith Formation, lporter@dioceseoftyler.org or tramirez@dioceseoftyler. org, or call 903-266-2146.

National Catholic Schools Week is Jan. 31-Feb. 6. The theme for this year is Catholic Schools: Communities of Faith, Knowledge and Service. The Diocese of Tyler is blessed with six Catholic schools: St. Mary in Longview (pre-K3-12), St. Patrick in Lufkin (pre-K3-8), St. Joseph in Marshall (pre-K3-4), St. Gregory Cathedral School in Tyler (pre-K3-5) and Bishop T.K. Gorman in Tyler (6-12). All combine a strong academic curriculum with education in the faith. Contact your local Catholic school for enrollment and tuition information, or for a schedule of Catholic Schools Week activities.

Men and women religious serving in the Diocese of Tyler are invited to close out the Year of Consecrated Life at a Mass and celebration Feb. 6, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at St. Peter Claver Church in Tyler.

The Daughters of Divine Hope will offer an 11:30 a.m. Mass Jan. 14 for clergy celebrating birthdays or ordination anniversaries this month, and for deceased clergy. The Mass will be celebrated in the Cathedral of 6

Send us your bulletins!

If your parish is not already sending weekly bulletins to Catholic East Texas, please do so. Bulletins are where we get information about parish events for the news, and ideas for features and profiles. We prefer electronic submissions, either PDF or Word documents. These can be emailed to sue@catholiceasttexas.com. We will also accept bulletins by mail. Send to: Susan De Matteo, Catholic East Texas, 1015 ESE Loop 323, Tyler, TX, 75701. Information on upcoming parish events and photos of recent events may also be submitted this way. Photos should be emailed as JPEGs, with all persons in the photo identified and information about the event provided. We look forward to hearing from you! the Immaculate Conception, with lunch following in the Cathedral Center.

The Diocese of Tyler Office of Youth Evangelization is offering a Summit Leadership Weekend Jan. 9-10 at Casa Betania in Tyler. Youth leaders, catechists and pastors are invited to come together to meet, pray, play and share ideas about youth ministry in the diocese. Cost is $20 for room and meals.

A private room is $30. Scholarships are available. Casa Betania is at 10645 County Rd 35, Tyler, TX 75706. For information, contact Mark Knox at mknox@dioceseoftyler.org or see the Office of Youth Evangelization website, www.dioceseoftyler.org/ youth.

The Youth Office invites teens ages 15-18 on an Adventure Trip to Arkansas March 5-20. The trip will include hiking, camping, canoeing and daily Mass in the woods. Cost is $450 per student. To register, see your parish youth minister. For information, contact Mark Knox at mknox@dioceseoftyler.org or see the Office of Youth Evangelization website, www.dioceseoftyler.org/youth.

The diocesan Office for Marriage and Family Life has scheduled a Marriage Preparation Day for Jan. 23, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. in the chancery (English) and at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Tyler (Spanish).

Marriage preparation weekends are scheduled for April 8-10, April 9-10 (Spanish), Sept. 23-25, and Nov. 5-6 (Spanish). For information or to register, contact the office at 903-534-1077, ext. 165, or email mbesze@

dioceseoftyler.org.

The Office for Marriage and Family Life invites couples celebrating 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years of marriage in increments of five, and all celebrating more than 50, in 2016 to a World Marriage Day Anniversary Mass and celebration Feb. 13 at 2 p.m. in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Tyler. To register or for more information, contact the office at 903-534-1077, ext. 165, or email mbesze@dioceseoftyler.org.

The diocesan Office of Vocations is sponsoring a Vocational Discernment Program for Women, with discernment days for young women ages 16-30, Jan. 23, Feb. 20 and March 19, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at St. Mary Magdalene Church in Flint.

To speak with a priest about a possible vocation, call Father Justin Braun at the chancery, 903-534-1077, ext. 171, or email fatherbraun@gmail.com. To speak with a nun, contact Sister Angelica Orozco, EFMS, at the chancery, 903-534-1077, ext. 145, or email sistera@dioceseoftyler.org.

Catholic counseling services are now available in the Diocese of Tyler. Simone Key, MA, LPC-I, is on staff at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception to provide faith-based family, marriage, individual and group counseling. Initial phone consultations are free, and services are provided on a sliding fee scale. For information, call 214640-0651.

The Maria Goretti Network is a peer

More news is available at www.dioceseoftyler.org/news ministry group for survivors of abuse and their families. The East Texas Chapter of the Maria Goretti Network meets the third Saturday of every month in the Cathedral Office meeting room (not the Cathedral Center) at 7 p.m. For information, contact Peggy Hammett, 903-592-1617, ext. 19, or email phammett@thecathedral.info.

Irish Eyes of Texas Gala Event of the month!

Don’t miss buying your ticket today!

Feb. 20, 6 p.m., Athens Country Club 500 Park Dr, Athens, TX 75751

Families Anonymous, a support group for those affected by a loved one’s addiction, alcoholism or other destructive behaviors, meets the second Monday of every month at 6:30 p.m. in the parish hall at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Frankston. The group is the only FA chapter in East Texas, and is open to anyone who has known the despair of a loved one’s addiction. Meetings follow the 12-step model, and the anomymity of members is paramount. For information, contact Rick at 817-994-8248 or Kathy at 817-319-9843.

Bishop Joseph E. Strickland’s pastoral reflection on mercy is available on the diocesan website (dioceseoftyler.org). The reflection is addressed to the clergy, religious and faithful of the Diocese of Tyler and offers Bishop Strickland’s thoughts on the Year of Mercy proclaimed by Pope Francis, which will run until November. The reflection is presented in English and Spanish.

A training day for all interested in participating in the Texas Catholic Conference’s Advocacy Day will be held Feb. 28, 9 a.m.noon, at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Tyler. Father Nolan Lowry, pastor of St. Edward Church in Athens, and Jeff Patterson of the TCC will present the session.

The TCC Advocacy Day is a bi-annual rally at the Texas State Capitol hosted by the Texas bishops to promote the Church’s values of life, justice, charity, and religious freedom to members of the 84th Texas Legislature.

The bishops and participants will address a broad range of diverse issues including abortion facilities regulation, advance directives reform, school choice tax credit scholarships, payday lending and Medicaid expansion.

This year’s Advocacy Day is March 24 and will begin with the Texas bishops and participants joining together in a rally at

Featuring The Young Wolfe Tones Irish band Traditional Irish short rib dinner with dessert Live and Silent Auctions featuring: • Two tickets on AA round trip business class to Rome • Four-night stay at a Texas Hill Country resort • “Chef” Father White’s dinner for eight Contact Steve Fowler at 214-704-5233 • Sponsorships begin at $2,000 • Platinum tables for eight, $3,000 • Event Table tickets $150 per person Proceeds benefit Mary Queen of Heaven rebuilding fund For more information, go to www.MQHMalakoff.com 11:30 a.m. on the south steps of the Capitol.

A barbecue lunch will be served on the lawn.

We Are as a Parish” meeting for all parishioners at 7 p.m.

Athens

Longview

St. Edward Church. Adult Bible study is every Thursday at 2 p.m. in the parish hall.

Richard Lynd directs, and all are invited.

El grupo de oración se reúne los Miércoles después de la misa en la casa blanca. Todos están invitados.

St. Mary Church. John Michael Talbot will lead a retreat Feb. 8-9, beginning at 7 p.m. each evening, in the church. Talbot is a Catholic singer-songwriter, guitarist, author, television presenter and founder of a monastic community known as the Brothers and Sisters of Charity. There is no cost for admission, though offerings to support his ministry are welcome. The church is at 2108 Ridgewood in Longview. For information, contact the church at 903-757-5855.

Frankston St. Charles Borromeo Church. The SCB Food Pantry is open each second Thursday of the month, 9-11:30 a.m. Volunteer your time or donate to help feed the hungry in our area. Contact Mary Ann Cluley, 903-876-3309, for information.

Jefferson Immaculate Conception Church. The parish will hold its Christmas Fish Fry Dinner Jan. 7, 5-6:30 p.m., followed by a “Where

Lufkin St. Andrew Church. The parish rents the education building and parish hall to non-parishioners. If your company is looking for a location for a party or an event, please call the parish office to reserve the space.

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Diocesan News

By Susan De Matteo

By Susan De Matteo

and Calendar of Events Sue@CatholicEastTexas.com Sue@CatholicEastTexas.com

Breaking ground – Bishop Joseph E. Strickland, far right, and Father Dan Dower, left, watch as members of Christ the King Church in Kilgore break ground for a new church. The groundbreaking was held Nov. 22, the Solemnity of Christ the King. The new church will replace the current one, which was built in 1936.

Madisonville St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church.

Monthly meetings of the Men’s Club are Wednesdays at 7 p.m. in the Seton Center.

You never know what the men will come up with, but you can be sure that it will be fun.

All men of the parish are cordially invited to join this rowdy group.

Bible study is held on Mondays at 6:30 p.m. and Wednesdays at 8 p.m. (Spanish).

Marshall St. Joseph Church. Hot meals are served each Tuesday, 4:30-5:30 p.m. in the parish hall.

Youth group meetings are held at St. Joseph “Chili’s” Youth House Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. for high school students, Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. for middle school students, and Sundays at 7 p.m. for college students.

Nacogdoches

Throw a celebration that takes the cake.

Tyler • 4917 S Broadway Ave. • (903) 504-5366 8

St. Mary Chapel, Stephen F. Austin State University. St. Mary’s students will be partnering with Family Missions Company to take a mission trip to General Cepeda, Mexico, during spring break. See the website, sfacatholic.net, or one of the campus ministers for information.

More news is available at www.dioceseoftyler.org/news Meat and fire – Men and boys from Buffalo’s St. Kateri Tekakwitha Church gather for an evening of “meat and fire,” an event intended to promote close ties between fathers and sons, said Father John-Mary Bowlin, administrator. The evening featured cooking over a fire pit, with fathers and sons sharing responsibilities and stories and was hosted by the Freeman family, St. Kateri Tekakwitha parishioners, at their home.

Photo courtesy of Father John-Mary Bowlin, St. Kateri Tekakwitha Church

Tyler

Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. Tyler Friends of

the Poor is a non-profit 501(c)3 organization created to support the mission of St. Vincent de Paul, Immaculate Conception Conference.

We seek to meet the expanding ministry of caring for those in need in our community through a foundational model. The board members are Greg Richbourg (President), Byron Meads, Andy Navarro, Diane Frossard, and Danny and Kelly Jackman. We are pleased to announce that we have received nearly $75,000 in donations in the past 2 years. We also are most grateful for the funding of our first endowment–the Frossard Family Endowment established by Mike and Diane Frossard. If you would like to contribute to the long term support of this mission, begin a family endowment, provide for a perpetual gift through estate planning, or learn more about Tyler Friends of the Poor, please contact any board member or Kelly at 903-570-1800 or jackcajun@aol.com.

Catholic Campus Community of Tyler. Catholic college students in East Texas are invited to the Patriot Awakening IV retreat, Feb. 5-7, at Bethany House in Tyler. Cost is $50 for meals, a bed and activities. The weekend will offer a chance to pray, celebrate the faith and get to know other Catholic college students. For information, email patriotawakening@gmail.com.

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Catholic Ascension Garden How will your final arrangements be decided?

Rose Lawn’s Ascension Garden is a place for all Catholics to have hope and reflection. This area serves as a visual reminder of the Paschal Mystery, the dying and rising of Christ in which we all share. It is the place that reminds us to hold a joyful hope for Christ’s return to glory, with all those who have gone before us, marked with a sign of faith. Putting plans into place now becomes a testimony to both our faith and our love of family. It is a loving and considerate thing to do for those we leave behind. Come out and visit our compassionate people and find how simple this decision can be. With each sale Rose Lawn will make a donation in your name to the Church of your choice or the Catholic Diocese of Tyler.

Rose Lawn Cemetery is located on Blue Mountain Blvd., One block East off Old Jacksonville Hwy, just South of Swann’s Furniture.

2003 Blue Mountain Blvd.

Tyler, TX 75703 Ph.903-939-9922 9

Natural Family Planning

Understanding this Catholic teaching in terms of God’s will

Christianity is about doing God’s will.

It’s really that simple. Our model for the Christian life is Jesus, who did God’s will perfectly. We look to the saints, who did God’s will in difficult and dangerous situations in their lives. When we pray the Lord’s prayer, we pray that God’s will may be done perfectly on Earth, and we are those people tasked with doing it. To do God’s will is our basic challenge, and it is the purpose of our lives on Earth.

The Church teaches, and has always taught, that God’s will for all of us is to live chastely. To live a chaste life means simply to do God’s will with our human sexuality, whatever our state of life. It means to honor our vow, whether it is a vow of celibacy or of married fidelity.

For married couples, part of living chastely is to avoid artificial contraception and direct sterilization. This is the solemn teaching of the Church, to be followed by all Catholics, everywhere. Many people, however, have despaired over this teaching, and think themselves unable to follow it.

By considering what this teaching means in the context of God’s will, it is my hope that Christian couples can be inspired to take up this teaching, perhaps for the first time after a long time away from the grace of the sacraments, and learn to rely on God’s help to do things that at first seem impossible.

1. It’s never easy at first

We live in a very Christian part of the world, for which we should be thankful, and most of our friends and neighbors are people of faith. Faith, however, means more than simply a belief in God. Faith means trust in God as a father who knows best for us, and

10

following His will out of that trust.

God has revealed Himself to us as a parent, and we can learn much from this.

Like children, we often do not want to do the difficult thing that our parent has asked us to do. Parents can see farther into the future than children. They see the value of school in the development of the child into an adult, even on days when the child doesn’t want to go. Parents see the value in healthy eating to build a strong body, even when children only want junk food. God, a parent with infinite wisdom, knows what we need to make us holy for our eventual happiness, even when we can’t see it and don’t want to do it.

Have you ever said “No” to God, or questioned His wisdom? Don’t worry, we all have, and we are in company with all of humanity. Everyone on earth today has sinned, which means that every one of us has been that stubborn child, refusing to do what our loving parent knows is best. What we all need is to recognize that we are wrong when we reject God’s will for our lives and substitute a contrary will of our own. God is trying to free us from the entanglements of the world, from the enslavement to sin, and it is our very human reaction to childishly refuse, and tell our loving Father, “No!” The ancient Israelites did exactly this.

God’s will was for them to be free of slavery in Egypt, and so He sent Moses and performed the miracles necessary to bring about their freedom. They marched into the wilderness where life was tough, and almost immediately began to grumble. You can read about it in Exodus chapter 16, where in essence they say, “Life was easier as slaves!

We wish we were back in Egypt.”

We can look back on this event with 20/20 hindsight and see that God’s will for the Israelites was so great and so magnificent, but they couldn’t see it. They didn’t yet have faith to see that God was testing and training them, teaching them to rely on Him and Him alone. Forty years later, the nation of Israel, tested by the desert, would emerge onto the world scene as a magnificent power, a nation to be reckoned with, worthy of the name “The chosen people.”

We are the same. God’s plan for us is amazing, overwhelming, and almost unimaginable. His will is for us to become His chosen people and be with Him, happy for all eternity. However, we find that doing His will is almost never the easy thing. Like the Israelites, when we follow God, we might find ourselves for a time in the desert, and we might be tempted to grumble. We might be tempted to turn back to the comfortable life we know, even if it is a life of slavery.

2. God’s will includes chastity

When it comes to our lives as sexual beings, God’s will for each and every one of us is to live chastely.

2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has “put on Christ,” the model for all chastity. All Christ’s faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life.

-The Catechism of the Catholic Church Chastity means to follow God’s will for sex, not just some of the time, but always.

Catholic priests and religious who have taken vows of celibacy have a particular kind

Living God’s design for human sexuality in marriage can be difficult. But husbands and wives have not been left alone to live out this fundamental life challenge. If you have failed to do so in the past, do not be discouraged. God loves you and wants your ultimate happiness. Loving as Christ loves is a possibility opened to us by the power of the Holy Spirit, as a free gift of God. Through prayer and the sacraments, including Reconciliation and the Eucharist, God offers us the strength to live up to this challenge.

-Married Love and the Gift of Life United States Conference of Catholic Bishops 2006

By Bishop joseph Strickland of chastity to live. Unmarried persons also are called to live chastely, reserving sex for marriage and cultivating purity. What is surprising to many people is that married persons are called just as strongly to chastity, to follow God’s will for their sexual life within their marriage.

Married couples are called not only to the obvious aspects of chastity, such as being faithful to each other, but also to keep their marital acts pure and holy. The Church teaches that any artificial contraception, or any acts which are designed to render the sex act unable to create life, are wrong and must be avoided.

2370 Every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible is intrinsically evil.

2399 The regulation of births represents one of the aspects of responsible fatherhood and motherhood.

Legitimate intentions on the part of the spouses do not justify recourse to morally unacceptable means (for example, direct sterilization or contraception).

-The Catechism of the Catholic Church We as Catholics believe that sex between a husband and wife is a holy thing, and not to be tampered with. Sometimes the world outside the Church accuses Catholics of “hating sex” or being “anti-sex,” but the reality is far different. Catholics believe sex

in marriage to be a great gift of God, to be held in the utmost respect. It must never be unnaturally or artificially changed from its essential life-giving form into something else by artificial contraception or any kind or sterilization.

The Catholic Church has taught this since the beginning, and you can find this teaching repeated many, many times in our 2,000 year history. While today, the Catholic Church stands alone in maintaining this original Christian teaching, this was not always the case. The Protestant churches which began almost 500 years ago (and are the ancestors of the non-Catholic Christian churches in East Texas today) all taught this same thing. Until 1930, every single Christian group in the world taught that artificial contraception is wrong, and Christians, following God’s will, should use only natural methods in planning their families. In recent times, most Christian groups outside the Catholic Church have bowed to pressure from the world, and have compromised this teaching. We, as Catholics, refuse to compromise on the truth.

3. Grace is the answer

If this teaching of the Church is frightening to you, you are in good company. The Apostles of Jesus were frequently upset and frightened by His teachings. Several times in the Gospels, the Apostles react to one or another of Jesus’ teachings on marriage and otherwise with, “This saying is hard! Who can follow it?” Later, the Apostles would go on to do amazing and heroic things in the service of the kingdom of God…what changed? What transformed these frightened men into the heroes of Christianity

who braved the worst and risked (and lost) their lives to preach the Gospel? The answer is grace.

1996 Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life.

-The Catechism of the Catholic Church Grace is simply God’s help, and God working within us. When we think doing His will is too hard, grace is the answer.

Grace is real, and it works.

When we read the lives of the saints, and we see the big moment when the saint chose to do God’s will despite some awful hardship, that saint did not make that choice alone. God was right there, helping. Being a saint, living the Christian life (even the difficult teachings) is not about being stronger or tougher than other people. It is about being more reliant on God’s help. Keeping the faith when things get rough is only accomplished when we admit that we cannot do it alone.

How do we obtain God’s grace? The surest source of God’s grace is the sacraments.

We need the grace that comes through the sacraments if we are going to do God’s will on earth. This is, in essence, what the Church on earth is all about. The Church evangelizes the world, teaching everyone about God’s will and His plan for humanity, and then delivers the sacramental grace, every day, that people need to do God’s will.

Sin is the opposite. When we choose our own will in opposition to God’s will, and

chase God out of our hearts, we lose the help of His grace.

If you have been living away from the sacraments because of contraception, or if you have been receiving the Eucharist without first repenting of this practice, then you have not been enjoying the gifts of grace God wants to give you. If making a change looks impossible, you need what the Apostles needed: God’s grace. Grace has been transforming ordinary men and women into saints for 2,000 years. It still works.

If you are not living fully in God’s grace, you are not experiencing all of the help God is offering to you.

Perhaps you have never attempted to live according to the teachings of the Church in your marriage. Perhaps you attempted to, but no longer do. Perhaps you are experiencing a disagreement with your spouse over this teaching. Perhaps you chose a sterilization procedure in the past. Everyone’s life is different, and every situation, but God wishes to heal and help every single one. If you have stumbled and fallen in chastity, do not despair. Do not give up. Try again with the help of God’s grace.

If you look at your own life as the story of a saint, consider what it would say. “This saint was faced with a difficult choice, to rely on God’s help when it looked impossible to follow God’s will. The easier choice was to do nothing and to continue as before, while to follow God’s will might result in many kinds of hardship.” What do we expect the saint to do? We expect the saint to go to God, and we know that God will help. That is what makes them saints, admitting they need God and throwing themselves fully and honestly into His arms.

4. Through the wilderness

Your story is your own. At any moment, no matter your age, or situation, you can begin to depend on God’s help. That won’t mean the problems will all go away, but it does mean that God will help you get through them. It won’t all be done in an instant. Learning to live the teaching of the Church concerning sex and fertility in marriage can be difficult, but it offers great rewards in heaven and on Earth.

As a pastor, I have known many couples who undertook this challenge, and they will tell you it is one of the best decisions they have ever made. I have seen it many times. Couples who strive together to live this teaching become, over time, happier and holier. Like the Israelites in the desert, there is going to be some grumbling, as husbands and wives learn to live in chastity. Like the 12

Israelites, however, the time in the desert binds the family together and makes it better and stronger. A couple who lives God’s will for fertility can handle anything, because they are united in their reliance on God. Once a couple has made this commitment to live according to God’s will as concerns sex, and has experienced the natural frustrations, and withstood the temptations to go back thanks to grace, they are renewed.

Placing God’s will above their own in such an important and central way restructures the family to do God’s will. Problems will still come, since every family has problems, but they can be dealt with by asking, “What is God’s will for us?”

When doing God’s will is the guiding principle for family decisions, and God is helping all the members of the family through grace, amazing things are possible.

This is God’s plan for every family.

5. You are not alone

Our priests are ordained to offer God’s grace to everyone. If you have been away from the worthy reception of the sacraments for a long time, don’t worry. Go to your priest; this is exactly what he was trained and ordained for. Tell him that you want to get rid of your sins in confession and begin to worthily receive the Eucharist again. He will help you. Remember, this man has committed his life to bringing mercy and grace to the whole world, and he understands how difficult these decisions are. Make an appointment, or go to confession at the scheduled time at the parish. This is the first step.

When considering living according to the teaching of the Church, many people worry, “Does this mean I have to have all the children I possibly can?” No. Living in chastity is not about having a certain number of children. It certainly is not about having the maximum number of children. The Church teaches clearly that it is the right and responsibility of parents to determine when it is possible and wise to have another child.

Catholics are encouraged to learn and use Natural Family Planning methods in their marriage.

Natural Family Planning, because it does not tamper with the marital act itself, is moral and Catholics may make use of it.

We have a wonderful team of Natural Family Planning instructors in our diocese.

These are married couples who have been there. They understand the challenges and problems couples face, and they can help you.

They give generously of their time and effort to help married couples understand how their fertility works and how this knowledge

can be used to plan families. You can use the information on the next pages to contact them. If you are of child-bearing age, NFP is for you, and the instructors of the diocese offer these classes to help you. Taking advantage of this opportunity is an important step.

If you are past the child-bearing years of your marriage and used contraception, or if you have undergone an elective sterilization procedure in the past, God’s grace is waiting for you. His forgiveness is as close as the confessional. Meditate on God’s will, and His love, and open yourself up to His forgiveness. Our mistakes of the past can be healed in an instant by the power of God once we simply say, “Your will, not mine. I agree with you, God.” 2367 Called to give life, spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God. 2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood.

-The Catechism of the Catholic Church To everyone else, please consider: married couples today are faced with many challenges to holiness. No other group in the world values chastity within marriage as Catholics do, and society can be hostile to families attempting to live according to God’s will. Catholic couples who take up the challenge of chastity in their marriage are often met with criticism from family members, from the media, and from society at large.

Catholic families need our encouragement.

Be kind and helpful to growing Catholic families. Do the simple things that give them confidence. Offer to babysit! Encourage mothers and fathers. Do acts of practical charity for them. We are all in this together as one Body of Christ. We must pray for each other and encourage each other to avoid sin and seek grace. Rejoice with each family in each new child.

Finally, remember, we are all on this journey through the desert together, away from sin and toward heaven. The people around you, walking with you, are your brothers and sisters. Our job is to help everyone around us make it to the destination.q

One family’s story Dan and Natalie herrera learned to live according to the teaching of the chuch in their marriage. now they help other couples as nfp instructors.

Dan’s Story I was a cradle Catholic, but as a young adult I didn’t believe all that the Church taught. I filled up my cafeteria tray with portions of childhood catechesis and Sunday Mass, but I didn’t have room on my tray for things like fasting or confession. Natural Family Planning was going to be another one of those things that just didn’t fit on the tray.

“You’re one of seven kids?” That was the thought going through my head early on in our courtship when Natalie was talking to me about her family. I knew her parents had practiced NFP, and I figured the whole seven kids thing and NFP had to be pretty closely related. Now it’s important to point out that NFP families come in all sizes. It is evident, though, that couples practicing NFP often have larger families. I grew up in a family with one sister, and most other families I was around were of similar size. Larger families were pretty foreign to me. I thought that I would probably have two, maybe three kids at most when I got married.

Later on, I got a chance to meet Natalie’s family and observe how they interacted with each other. I was struck by the energy of their gatherings. They genuinely seemed to enjoy being around each other, shared many inside jokes, and looked out for each other. Of course, they fought from time to time, like siblings do. And it definitely wasn’t, “the last shall be first,” when it came to eating meals, in particular, dessert! But I could feel God transforming my heart through my interaction with them, helping me to overcome my family-size bias. I thought that I might even want something similar for my family.

Little by little, God worked in my life to break down these hesitations I had. I could feel God working to help me have more trust in the Church and her teachings as well, no matter where that took me. In the months leading up to our wedding, I agreed to take an NFP class with Natalie, so we would know the method before we actually practiced it when we were married.

NFP has been a blessing in our relationship, but it can also be challenging. First of all, yes, NFP does require abstinence when trying to avoid a pregnancy. Everyone knows this is one of the challenges. We’ve found that during these times of abstinence God

brings about other fruits in our relationship, though. When the physical marital embrace isn’t there, we have to focus on other ways to show our love for each other. Also, the “fast” from it during the fertile time truly helps us to appreciate the time we can be together.

When the infertile time returns, despite busy schedules, we make sure to prioritize time with each other.

We continue on our NFP journey. We have four wonderful daughters and don’t know whether God has another child in mind for us or not. With God’s help I have come to appreciate large families, like Natalie’s, as well as smaller ones, like my own family of origin. We are trying to prayerfully discern His call for our own family, and we take comfort in the fact that NFP has been effective in helping us to carry out that call.

Everyone can learn and practice NFP. I was one of the many who started out with doubts. Now I can’t imagine using anything else!

Natalie’s story

Jesus, I trust in You! These words from St. Faustina’s picture of Divine Mercy sum up for me our ongoing decision to use Natural Family Planning. When Dan and I were engaged and learning NFP, we were hoping to conceive soon after our wedding, so at that time, trusting Jesus by following His Church’s teaching regarding family planning wasn’t too difficult. We learned the method, felt comfortable with our understanding of it after charting for several months during our engagement, got married, used it to postpone pregnancy for a few cycles, and then used it to conceive our first daughter.

After Monica was born, however, my trust needed to grow. I struggled a lot during the first year postpartum, and, of course, that affected our intimate life. I was overwhelmed and unable to be what I thought a “good” wife and mother should be – Dan came home to dirty laundry, no meal on the table, and a tearful wife. I was afraid I might get pregnant again, afraid that we would have to abstain a lot, afraid that if that happened, Dan would get fed up with all of it and call it quits, or that he wouldn’t love me anymore. You see, I had believed the lie that the world tells us about men – that they only want “one thing.” And when that “one thing” was missing, where did that leave me?

We did abstain a lot during that first postpartum year – looking back, I believe we abstained more than we needed to – but during that time I was able to learn a lot about real love. I saw that even though the abstinence was difficult, Dan wasn’t going to leave. His patience and attitude of facing the abstinence together enabled me to see that he loved me – not all of the things I could provide for him – but me. It also told me that he believed that trusting Jesus with our intimate life and family size was more important than satisfying his own desires. As my understanding of true love was healed, my faith and trust in Jesus began to grow. What Jesus offered me was a deep and lasting joy and a strong, healthy marriage based on real love, if I would cede control of my life and family to Him. Our marriage has been a journey – from naïve newlyweds to fearful young parents, through family illness and death, through 13

months of prayer and discernment of God’s will for our family size, through diagnosed postpartum depression and caring for our older children with their particular needs. But through it all, we have learned that Jesus is indeed trustworthy. Surrendering our marriage to Him has involved suffering, which He promised that His followers would undergo, but He has also redeemed that suffering. He has given our marriage new life time and time again.

Our early postpartum experience led us to become NFP instructors in 2004. We want others to know the freedom that comes with this trust and surrender! There are crosses to carry as we practice marital chastity, but God’s grace is sufficient for us, and for everyone, regardless of their situation. Only doing God’s will for our family, whether that be welcoming another child to the family or avoiding pregnancy for a time by virtuously practicing abstinence during the fertile time, will satisfy our deepest hunger and give us true joy. Yes, Jesus, I trust in You!!

We’re here to help!

We as instructors are committed to making sure that our students understand the method of NFP. We, like all the instructors, have been through extensive training to ensure that we understand and can teach the method expertly, as well as introduce to our students the Church’s teachings on married love. We make ourselves available to our students by phone, text, and email anytime for consultation, and our classes cover a span of 2-3 months to ensure that our students have real world experience with charting and interpreting their signs. We offer special classes for situations which can be particularly challenging – the postpartum and pre-menopause transition times – and refresher classes at any time. If you want NFP to work for you, please do yourself a favor and take a class, whether that is an online class, a virtual class via skype, or a live class, and learn the method well!

The practice of NFP is not just for a select few Catholic couples. Jesus meets us right where we are and gives us the grace we need to follow His will, no matter our situation. If you use contraception of any variety, if you think your spouse would never go

along with NFP, if you have tried to use NFP and it has “failed” you, if you are in a mixed-faith marriage, still Jesus is calling you to surrender your marriage and family to His will and follow the Church’s teachings regarding family planning. In this way, your marriage can be strengthened and your love deepened, which is the real “work” of NFP. Please, talk to us, or talk to one of the other instructors in the dicoese, or talk to a priest – we want NFP to work for you!q Dan and Natalie were married in 2002. They have four daughters: Monica (12), Elaine (10), Sylvia (7), and Christina (1).

NFP Instructors in the diocese of Tyler: Jerome and Deya Stavinoha Longview 903-757-2507 English, Spanish Patty Greer, RN Longview 903-291-8815 English Adam and Jodi Todd Tyler 972-998-1038 English Dan and Natalie Herrera Tyler 903-574-8872 English, Spanish Online resources: www.ccli.org - Online self-paced classes and virtual classes via Skype, English and Spanish www.learnNFPonline.org

www.thepines.org

summer camp grades 2-12

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register today!

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TEAM

Jamon and Jess copeland, with sons Corban (6), blaise (4), and Asher (2).

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BUILDING THE CATHOLIC FAMily REQUIRES

WORK We talked to Jamon Copeland, head coach of men’s basketball at UT Tyler, and his wife Jessica, a personal trainer, Crossfit coach, and mother of their three boys. Being a family of athletes, they have a decidedly goal-oriented outlook on faith and family. These cradleCatholics met at Mass in Coppell, Texas, and came to Tyler in 2013.

We asked them to be candid about the parts of the Catholic faith that are hard, and the importance in relying on God’s help to make it.

Before the marriage “Having a chaste courtship is so important, but it’s difficult to do,” Jamon told us. “We met at Mass, and we’ve both been Catholic our whole lives, but living in chastity before marriage is a struggle every day.”

Jess Copeland said, “Chastity is important to avoid sin, but it’s also just a good idea from a human standpoint. You’re considering whether you’re going to pledge your lifelong love, faithfulness and help to this person, until death, you want to have your eyes open! You want to reason with a level head, and sex clouds your judgement. You need to get to know this person without any distractions.”

The Copelands relied on the sacraments for help. “Yeah, we were going to Eucharistic adoration almost every day during our engagement, and that’s pretty incompatible with committing grave sins, but it was still difficult,” remembered Jamon. “One thing I’ve learned – often it’s easier to avoid sin if you make the decision before you get into a difficult situation. A man and woman can have the best intentions to remain chaste, but if you spend a lot of time alone in an apartment, you’re going to have problems.” Jess agreed, “We spent as much time as possible outdoors, walking, doing activities, or else it would have been much harder to bear.”

“For me, as a man, I think of it like any challenge. You never find your true potential by giving into what’s easy. Never. I’m a coach, and so I tend to make athletic analogies, but it’s true. You find your true potential as a human being by striving, whether it’s in physical training or in purity and holiness. I want to push myself, with God’s help, to live according to His will,” Jamon explained.

“Purity isn’t just for dating and engagement,” Jess added. “Once you’re married, if you want to live according to God’s will, then you’ll have to exercise self-control within your marriage, too. If you’ve trained yourself during your courtship to help each other to be holy, then you can do it within your marriage. You don’t have to change direction in your life.”

In good times, and in bad Talking to the Copelands for this interview, it’s difficult to im-

agine them ever fighting. They seem perfectly of one mind about everything, but it’s not always that way. “Oh, we’ve gone through awful patches in our marriage,” admitted Jamon. “During our move to Tyler was probably the worst.”

He was head basketball coach at Ave Maria Catholic University in Florida when he was offered the position of head coach at UT Tyler. “With a coaching job, you’ve got to go. I had to leave, immediately,” he explained. “The players had been without a coach for six weeks; I had to be in Tyler to retain the players we had, and it was past time to bring in new players. For a coach, every day you aren’t in your new program is disastrous. I had no choice but to drop everything. I had to abandon Jess and our kids in Florida and move to Texas in the middle of May, 2013.”

“We had two kids and I was pregnant with the third, and he had to leave us,” said Jess. “I had never even been to East Texas, and suddenly I had to move our family there, during my third trimester of pregancy. From May to August, I never saw him for more than a few hours, weeks apart. The boys were uprooted and moved across the country and their dad wasn’t around to help them. I got very accustomed to doing everything myself and taking care of the family by myself. When we could be together again, I didn’t want him to help. I resented him.”

“Being a Catholic family doesn’t mean you won’t have problems, or fight, or experience despair. It just means you pray and trust in God to get you through.”

“It was bad, we were so cold to each other,” Jamon admits. “If we weren’t Catholic, I’m sure we would have been thinking about divorce, but having gone through Catholic marriage prep, we understood that divorce is not God’s will. I knew we couldn’t go on like this, we knew we had to work it out. So, I got down on my knees and prayed. Jess was challenging me, to see what I was going to do to help the family, and I did the one thing I knew I had to do. I asked God for help. That was the start of us working together, as a family, again.”

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Building a family is a process

“

of learning to trust

“

God.

-JESS COPELAND

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Learning to trust “God can change your desires,” Jess said. “I always wanted a big family, but I also wanted a big, expensive house. As the wife of a basketball coach, I’ve has to surrender a lot of this materialism.”

“Yeah, with the birth of each of our kids, I’ve made significantly less money,” Jamon agreed. “As a dad, I feel this temptation to worry all the time about providing. I guess it’s just part of being a man, you want to be in control, have the situation all figured out, and life isn’t always like that. At some point you have to trust in God.” “We knew all about the method of Natural Family Planning before we were married, but it’s hard work to do it right, for the right reasons. I struggled with that,” Jess admitted. “Jamon had always been involved in athletics, but I wasn’t. After we got married, I started fitness training, and I loved it. I became a personal trainer and Crossfit coach and after our second child, I became really reluctant about having a third. I just didn’t want to give up the body I had worked so hard for. I started to give in to a mindset that was not Catholic; it was definitely selfish. I

struggled so hard with this.” It all came to a point one evening, Jess recounted, “I call it my own Dark Night of the Soul. I felt so terrible. I knew the impulses I was feeling were not from God, but I felt powerless against them. I prayed what little I could and Jamon prayed for me. When I got up the next morning, things turned around. I felt ready to trust God. We had Asher not long afterward.”

The Copelands agree, “Being a Catholic family doesn’t mean you won’t have problems, or fight, or experience despair. It just means you pray and trust in God to get you through.”

Body and soul Talking to a family of coaches about the faith, there is a strong union of body and soul in their thoughts. “Oh yeah, there are lots of parallels between athletic training and spiritual development,” says Jamon, “First and foremost, you have to try. To become more, to be better, you have to try. With the body or the soul, it’s not easy, and you won’t have a smooth road forward. You will slip backwards sometimes, but if you trust, if you keep your eyes on God, you can overcome.”

Jess describes the concept of working out, in both body and soul. “To work out is to expend effort to become better. In the spiritual life, it takes effort to pray, to learn, and just like with the body, you have to do the difficult things. It’s often a challenge to find time for a spiritual workout, just like with a physical one. For a mom, maybe it’s a few minutes when the kids are taking a nap to read the daily Scripture readings, but I need to do these things.”

“My life isn’t in balance otherwise,” said Jamon. “I have to be doing my physical and spiritual workouts, then my life feels right.

My spiritual director is very much my coach. He has the entire game plan in mind, and directs me in my spiritual efforts. My spiritual workout changes with my life, in consultation with my director, but always he helps me stay focused on God, and my goal of my family being with God for eternity.”

Team Players “We are so thankful to be in the Diocese of Tyler. It’s awesome,” said Jess. “It’s very much like being on a team. I have a group

of girlfriends that I’m in constant communication with, texting and talking, and we encourage each other in our lives. Whether it’s discussing Scripture or just listening to frustrations, having a group of friends that share the faith is a priority. We recognize that we’re doing something important together, striving to be saints and to raise families of saints.”

“For me, I’m thankful for the opportunities for men’s fellowship in the diocese. Catholic men have to stick together and support each other, and this is happening,” Jamon observed. “I’m going to the men’s holy hour at the Cathedral, there are men’s Bible studies happening, and Catholic men are responding. There’s a real interest in building fraternity among men.”

“As St. Paul says in scripture, we’re all running a race together.

We really are on a team,” Jess added. “We have to help each other, whether that’s through support or correction. You have to be willing to give correction to your firends and take it from them when you need it. That’s what a team does.” q Jamon and Jess are parishoners at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception and volunteer in the Marriage Preparation program.

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Marriages in Trouble

by Allison Low

Embracing the Cross through Sacrifice, Humility and Holiness When a man and a woman enter into the life-long bond of marriage, it is a moment of great joy and celebration. Those early years are often extensions of the honeymoon, full of hope and happiness. But just as life always presents difficulties and challenges, so too marriage, even in its great beauty, will not always be easy. The time will come when there are stresses and arguments. In our fallen humanity, one spouse may betray the other emotionally or physically, or the couples may seem to grow apart and “fall out of love” in the face of challenges and disappointments. For some married couples, the pain may seem unbearable and one or both of the spouses may long for a way out – an end to the unhappiness and suffering.

Before discussing the way forward in these painful situations, we first examine the nature of marriage itself. We recall that God created human beings not out of necessity, but because of love. In that love, God created man and woman for each other so that they might become “one flesh.” Their mutual love was to reflect that of the Holy Trinity – a communion of persons (husband and wife) that is fruitful (producing children). In one of the most clear teachings of the Gospel, Jesus emphasizes this reality when the Pharisees question him about divorce, telling them and us that from the beginning God made man and woman to be joined together in a union where “they are no longer two but one flesh.” He overturns centuries of Jewish teaching and practice, which permitted divorce, by declaring for all time that, “What God has joined together, no human being must separate.” This beautiful imperative of Christ leads to the Church’s unchanging and binding moral truth that the marriage bond is indissoluble.

But this hard teaching leaves many bewildered, incorrectly viewing the Lord’s teaching as merely an ideal, something that is impossible to do for most couples in the real world when the really 20

difficult times come. We know, and of course the Lord knew better than any of us that marriage can be extremely difficult and, in the worst cases, can be pushed to the breaking point. Faced with Christ’s very clear teaching, what then is the answer when marriages seem headed for failure?

Let us first consider what all of us know: marriage requires sacrifice. The nature of these sacrifices in is explained by St. Paul when he writes that wives are to submit to their husbands and that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, even to the point of death. Recognize how Paul says the husbands are to be like Christ – obedient to God, humble, honorable and selfless. The husband is to be the spiritual leader of the house helping all to grow in holiness. A husband must be willing to love his wife to the point that he is willing to sacrifice everything for her – his wants, desires, pleasures and even his own life! Being a husband is a challenging vocation and one that every man accepts when he gets married.

Paul also has tough words for wives whom he calls to “submit to their husbands.” Wives are to yield to the counsel and guidance of their husbands when husbands are fulfilling their own calling of being like Christ. But there is a deeper understanding as well. The Greek word used here for submit is hypotasso which is a term also used to describe a voluntary attitude of cooperation, willingness to help with various responsibilities and to help others in carrying a burden. Paul is not saying a wife is to be a slave but rather a coworker and help-mate with her husband! Wives are to be humble, selfless and loving. Wives are to help their husbands so they both can faithfully live out the vocation of marriage as well as the vocation of holiness helping to sanctify each other for heaven.

With the Lord’s prohibition of divorce and St. Paul’s teaching in mind, the answer to difficulties in marriage becomes clear. And

it is not easy. The solution to these great trials can only be found in making even greater sacrifices through personally embracing that suffering that Christ experienced in His passion and cross. What does this look like? One or both spouses may feel sad, depressed, rejected, hopeless, angry, disappointed, rejected, and humiliated – the crown of thorns pressing on their scalp. They may experience jealousy, contempt, exhaustion, dishonesty, doubts and disillusionment – the nails being driven into their hands and feet. Husbands and wives may be faced with situations that involve addiction, illness, financial crises, loss of a child, dysfunctional relationships with extended family members, differences in parenting, personality conflicts, disputes regarding religion or politics or an unfaithful spouse – the lance thrust into their side.

While taking advantage of the healing that can come from counseling and especially assistance from our priests, in the most difficult times we must turn our gaze to the crucified Jesus who, in his humanity, would have been faced with the temptation to lose hope or feel hatred as well. But like Christ, we cannot give up! In the darkest and most painful moments, we are to plant our feet even more firmly in the ground and rely solely on God and His grace. We must unite ourselves to Christ on the cross and say, “God, I cannot do this, but I know nothing is impossible for you! I give these struggles over to you. Please help us.”

It is also important in these times of tribulation to recognize that we are married to a human being and each of us in this relationship is a sinner. We have our own imperfections and vices. There is no perfect spouse other than Christ Himself. The person we are married to will inevitably make mistakes – many of them. Once we acknowledge this about our spouse, we need to turn our attention to ourselves. My spouse is a sinner, but so am I! My spouse will make mistakes, but I will surely make many more! Too often we are quick to point fingers (even if justified) and magnify the faults of the other person without recognizing the many times I have failed or inflicted harm on the relationship. How often am I selfish or unkind? How many times am I too prideful to say I am sorry or that I was wrong?

Do I lash out in frustration or anger? Am I regularly showing my spouse, in words and gestures, my love and affection? Do I share words of appreciation and affirmation with my spouse? Do I make every effort to spend time with my spouse regularly? Am I gracious?

Do I truly listen to my spouse? Do I hold my spouse in esteem before my friends, my work, my entertainment and hobbies? Even in those moments when I am innocent of wrongdoing, how did I handle the situation? Did I react cruelly and uncharitably? How did I show the love of Christ to my spouse in all situations? Most importantly, do I always without exception forgive my spouse? This in no way is to say we must accept or tolerate the sins of our spouse, but God’s own love and mercy for us cannot penetrate our hearts if we have put up barriers such as resentment and lack of mercy towards others! Forgiveness does not remove the pain or suffering but it allows God’s grace to enter into our hearts and heals us! We can then turn to God and offer intercessory prayer for the one who harmed us. If we struggle with forgiveness, consider the greatest injustice of all time was Jesus Christ crucified on the cross, yet some of His last words were, “Father, forgive them!”

The best way to respond in these difficult situations is to strive for personal holiness, be faithful to God’s will, and grow in our own relationship with Christ. This witness of life is one of the most effective ways to help your spouse and your marriage, and prayer is the most powerful weapon in that struggle for holiness and fidelity. Like our lives as Christians, marriage is both natural (the lifelong union of a man and woman) and supernatural (raised by Christ himself to

a sacrament). Not only must we use natural means to support our marriage, but also supernatural means – prayer and the sacraments.

To put it another way, we cannot hope to live a supernatural life, a life of holiness and grace, with only natural means. We must work toward our own holiness and the success of our spousal relationships by trusting in the power of Grace mediated in prayer and sacramental life. We can also place God at the center of our life and marriage by surrounding ourselves with other married couples living God’s plan of marriage faithfully and involving a priest or Catholic spiritual director for guidance (even before we see signs of problems).

When faced with difficulties and trials within our marriages, rather than see divorce as the first solution like most of our culture,

“Faced with Christ’s very clear teaching, what then is the answer when marriages seem headed for failure?”

the Church calls us to recognize that divorce is an offence to the marital covenant and it introduces disorder into the family and society, as well as bringing harm to the spouses and the children.

The Church does recognize that there may be some situations in which living together for the two spouses becomes impossible for a variety of reasons (CCC 1649). Even when this is permitted, the marriage bond is not broken, the couple is still husband and wife in the eyes of God, and the goal of these situations is always reconciliation. Physical separation is even recommended in situations where a spouse is putting the soul or body of another in grave danger. Physical separation also becomes an option of last resort in situations such as obstinate refusal to accept one’s religious views, a spouse having a shameful criminal life or if the spouse’s cruelty renders the conjugal life intolerable. If couples feel they are in these situations it is necessary to talk to a priest as soon as possible.

The Church also acknowledges the practical reality that in some cases a civil divorce is the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of children or protecting an inheritance and says that as a last resort for these grave reasons civil divorce can be tolerated (CCC 2383). However, even in these situations, the couple is still validly married. A civil divorce in no way affects the indissoluble bond of the marriage covenant and, as such, neither spouse is free to enter into another marriage (nor, by extension, have sexual relations with another) while their spouse is still living.

The Church stands firmly on this teaching because these are the words of Jesus Christ himself. This is countercultural. This is radical compared to the ways of the world. Even the Apostles tell Jesus that this is a hard teaching! But this is God’s plan for marriage. Why? Because as human beings created in God’s image, we are a reflection of God to the world. The covenant of marriage is a foreshadowing of the wedding banquet with Christ the Lamb of God that awaits us in heaven. In heaven our communion with God will be indissoluble, eternal, with perfect fidelity – an experience of unconditional love, peace, joy, happiness and fulfillment. We are called in our marriages to show the world an image of God’s love and be a sign of the marriage in heaven that awaits us. Living out our marriage here on earth is far from easy but all are called to live out their God-given vocation faithfully. God certainly wants us to be happy in this life, but the greater concern is happiness for eternity. When we face difficulties, let us unite ourselves to Christ on the cross, rely on God’s grace and turn to prayer. Let us show the world, especially in our struggles and pains, a reflection of the love of God for us - a love that is unending, unconditional and that was willing to sacrifice everything, including His own life, because of His merciful love for us.q 21

Parishoners of Christ the King Parish in Kilgore pose with Bishop Strickland at the groundbreaking for their new church on November 22, 2015.

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tmfhc.org 23

Cardinal O’Malley of Boston addresses the World Meeting of Families

The Family: God’s masterpiece D e l e g a t e s f r o m t h e D i o c e s e o f Ty l e r a t t e n d t h e Wo r l d M e e t i n g o f Fa m i l i e s i n P h i l a d e l p h i a

by Susan DeMatteo

The Catholic Church has long held the family close in its mind and heart, promoting strong families as integral to a strong society and teaching that the family is the “domestic church,” the means through which faith and values are taught and internalized.

That sharp focus on family continued in 2015, with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia in late September during Pope Francis’ first visit to the U.S. Pope Francis has spoken many times on the family, tying it to everything from the current refugee crisis in Europe and the problem of joblessness to the simple act of sharing meals without everyone staring at their phones. He continued his “catechesis on the family” in his address at the Festival of Families Sept. 26 and in his homily at the closing Mass Sept. 27 in Philadelphia.

Bishop Joseph E. Strickland attended the meeting on families, as did Teresa Ramirez and Teresa Tiscareño of the chancery office, and a group of about 30 pilgrims from throughout the Diocese of Tyler led by Father Bernard Boteju of Tyler.

“Something Pope Francis said in Philadelphia brings it all into focus for me,” said Bishop Strickland in reflecting on the gathering and the Church’s continuing emphasis on the family. “He called the family ‘God’s masterpiece,’ and I think that’s a perfect way of looking at it. Certainly, in our Catholic faith, we believe and teach the importance of the family. But when Pope Francis called it ‘God’s masterpiece,’ it emphasizes to me how essential the family is to human society in the most basic way.”

In his homily at the closing Mass in Philadelphia, Pope Fran24

cis spoke of “little gestures of love” in the family, the “quiet things done by mothers and grandmothers, by fathers and grandfathers, by children, by brothers and sisters.” Those gestures are “little signs of tenderness, affection and compassion” by which love is shown and faith is shaped.

Bishop Strickland said those “little gestures” are precisely what make families the very building blocks of society.

The family “is where, really, we learn to be human,” he said. “It’s where we learn our first lessons about existing with others in the same space, where we learn about cooperation, negotiation, compromise. And it’s where we learn to serve others. Those ‘little gestures’ Pope Francis talked about are our first lessons in serving others, in giving ourselves to others. Being nurtured in the context of family takes us out of ourselves, out of a me-centered mindset, and allows us to look to the other. In families, we learn that the world doesn’t revolve around us. There are others in that family, all with their needs, their interests, their wants, and we have to learn to consider those in our daily life. In families, we learn our first lessons about taking a back seat to others, letting others come first and waiting our turn.

And those lessons are invaluable for creating a healthy, functioning society.”

Of course, no family is perfect, and many families in today’s world suffer various forms of brokenness. Divorce remains a sad reality, even for Catholic families who strive to practice their faith. The conference addressed this through a session on divorce, and through the testimonies of a number of families who recounted their strug-

gles.

Teresa Tiscareño is secretary to the diocesan Tribunal, and so sees the effects of divorce as she works with those seeking an annulment. She attended the session on divorce in Philadelphia, and said it gave her a new perspective on the issue.

“For us in our work in the Tribunal, we see people come to us who have been through divorce,” she said. “But sometimes we are so involved in the work that we don’t think about the situations people go through, about the pain they have suffered. It’s very easy to see them as ‘cases’ and not people.

But listening to the people there, listening to their stories and what they have been through, it opened my eyes and helped me to understand them a little better. I understood better that we are not there to judge them, but to help them.”

“ We learn that, just as no one member is any more important than other, neither is any one member any less” -Bishop Joseph Strickland

Teresa Ramirez said she was encouraged to see so many multi-generation families represented in Philadelphia. “We saw so many families with young children and with grandparents, and I thought that was beau-

tiful. Pope Francis reminded us that we are to care for the family in all its aspects, from the youngest to the elderly, and we saw that there. It was a reminder to me that, yes, every family has issues and problems, but we are better when we stand together, when we care for all our members. And when families are strong, our society is strong.”

And that, said Bishop Strickland, was his greatest take-away from the World Meeting on Families.

“I know people say, ‘family is just the Church’s latest issue,’” he said. “But the Church has always been concerned with the family, and the reason is simple – the family is how God orders society. It’s not just an element of our Catholic faith; it’s an anthropological truth. Families are the building blocks of society. When families are protected and nurtured, when they’re strong, then society is strong. When families are threatened, when they’re disordered, then society suffers. Families are where we learn to be human, and if we never learn those lessons, or if we learn the wrong lessons, then the breakdown of society becomes violent and drastic.

“Families are where we learn about mercy and forgiveness,” he said. “We learn that, just as no one member is any more important than other, neither is any one member any less. No one is to be discarded or discounted. Yes, we mess up. Yes, we hurt each other. Yes, we sin. But in families, we forgive.

In families, we learn to show mercy.

“And those lessons then translate into society, and into the world at large,” Bishop Strickland said. “No one is ever less than a child of God, no matter what they’ve done.

No one is disposable. No one is beyond the reach of love. This is the great lesson that society can learn from the family.” q

25

BE NOT AFRAID Many Catholics who have been divorced and re-married outside the Church live in despair, apart from the sacraments. In this Year of Mercy, the Church is calling these Catholics to come and seek assistance. The diocesan marriage tribunal is ready to help, and recent changes

by Pope Francis make the process simpler. Do not be afraid. Seek the help of the Church.

The Catholic teaching on marriage is often misunderstood, but rests upon the teaching of Jesus Christ: So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.

(Matthew 19:6) If a man and woman are validly joined together in an actual marriage, nothing on Earth can separate them.

The Church recognizes, however, that not every attempted marriage is a valid marriage.

Marriage between two baptized persons is a Catholic sacrament, and just like the other sacraments, the Church teaches that there are requirements. Water is required for baptism. Bread, wine, a priest and the words of consecration are required for a valid Eucharist. In the same way, marriage has requirements.

If these requirements are not present, no matter how the people involved feel, or 26

how impressive the ceremony looks, a valid marriage cannot happen. This is an eternal truth of the Catholic faith, and the Church teaches it consistently.

As such, any Catholic whose marriage has resulted in legal divorce has a right to a judgement from the Church regarding the validity of that marriage. In this way, they can learn if they are free to marry. If their attempted marriage was invalid, they are free to marry again. If their marriage was, in fact, valid, then, just as Jesus taught, it is permanent.

If you have suffered through a divorce, and you wish to know if you are free to marry, the Church is ready to help. If you are a divorced Catholic who has re-married outside the Church and as a result cannot receive the sacraments, the Church is ready to help you, too.

On the following pages are questions

and answers about annulment and the recent changes made to the process by Pope Francis. He has made these changes to take effect during the Year of Mercy to encourage people to seek the help of the Church. Many of the most common questions concerning marriage and nullity are answered here.

There is also a link to a more thorough article on the subject by Father Lawrence Rasaian, Judicial Vicar of our Diocese, for persons who want to understand the details.

Margaret Oppenheimer, the Tribunal Administrator, explains some of the basics of the process. She assists many people seeking a judgement and prepares cases for review by the judges of the tribunal. She explains many common fears people have about annulment and pledges to help in any way.

The Year of Mercy is the perfect time to seek the help of the Church. The Diocese of Tyler is ready to help you.q

Questions and Answers about Annulment Understanding what the annulment process is, and the changes pope francis has made Why does the Church teach that a valid marriage is for life and cannot be un-done?

Because “in the beginning” God established marriage to be a lifelong union. (Matthew 19:8) Hence “What God has joined together, men must not divide.” (Mark 10:9) What are the elements required for a valid marriage?

1. A man and a woman must both be free to marry; not married to anyone else, nor otherwise impeded.

2. They freely exchange their consent to marry.

3. In consenting to marriage, they both intend to be married for life, to be faithful to one another, and to be open to children.

4. They intend the good of each other.

5. For Catholics: Their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. (Exceptions to this last requirement may be granted by Church authority.)

What is an annulment?

Why does the Catholic Church require divorced non-Catholics to obtain an annulment before marrying in the Catholic Church?

Since God established marriage for all of humanity, the Church presumes all marriages to be valid and binding for life. This is true for all people, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or even non-religious. By seeking a declaration of nullity, a person can seek to have this presumption of validity legally overturned.

If a marriage is declared null, does it mean that the marriage never existed?

It doesn’t deny that a relationship ever existed, nor the civil/legal effects connected with marriage. It does mean that at the time of the wedding, something was lacking that God intended for marriage and so the couple was not joined together by God in a valid (or authentic) marriage.

If a marriage is annulled, are the children considered illegitimate?

An “Annulment” is actually a Declaration of Nullity. It is a declaration that for some specific reasons the couple at the time of the wedding had not in fact established a marriage as God intended it. The process recognizes the reality of the lack of an authentic marital bond, it does not nullify, or otherwise change, an authentic marriage.

No. Civil law concerning paternity is respected. Further, Church law itself recognizes the legitimacy of children when the child’s mother and father were presumed to be married at the time that the child was born.

Why does the Church require a divorced person to obtain a declaration of nullity before re-marrying in the Church?

The diocese has a Church court, called the Diocesan Tribunal, which can hear cases of possible marriage nullity. It consists of judges who are canon lawyers, and their staff, who work to seek the truth in cases brought before it.

Jesus taught that: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

(Mark 10:11–12) We are bound to respect that a valid marriage is lifelong, as Jesus Christ taught. A divorce obtained from the government cannot change this. Before consenting to marry a couple the Church must determine if both parties are free to marry.

Who determines if a marriage is valid?

What is involved in the process?

A person who is divorced and wishes to obtain a judgement of nullity, the petitioner, submits written petition and gives testimony to the tribunal. They also identify possible witnesses who can testify about the wedding

and marriage. The person they are divorced from, the respondent, is contacted so they can respond to the tribunal. The respondent is welcome to participate in the tribunal case, but is not required to do so. After available testimony is obtained, the tribunal considers the case and delivers its judgement.

How much does the process cost?

Pope Francis has made clear the process must be available for all those desiring it. No case is refused for lack of funds. The Diocese of Tyler asks for a $25 filing fee and a donation to help with costs when possible, but the people of the diocese generously help operate the tribunal through the Bishop’s Annual Appeal to assist those who cannot pay.

Why did Pope Francis make changes to the tribunal process?

So that ordinary people seeking the truth about marriage validity could receive help from the Church, in a timely fashion.

How has the process been streamlined?

Previously, every single decision had to be ratified by an appellate tribunal in another diocese. Pope Francis has done away with this requirement for a second, agreeing decision. In practice, the decisions of the tribunals are very reliable (since 1983 the church has required Judges to be better educated) and the Pope felt that the requirement for the second tribunal review was no longer necessary. For us in the United States this will reduce waiting times for a decision by about 6 months.

What is the expedited or “Fast Track” process?

This allows the local Bishop to directly decide a case himself if it is supported by particularly strong and obvious arguments. In this country, this will reduce the time to a couple months. This process is much more significant for places in the world without 27

Annulment questions and answers, cont.

functioning tribunals, as obvious cases can now be readily resolved by the Bishop himself.

How is it possible that a couple who stayed together for many years and had several children could possibly not have a valid marriage?

Many times it is not love for each other, but concern for children that keeps a couple together. Marriage is properly about loving each other as Christ loves the Church.

Couples sometimes struggle because things happen ‘for better or for worse’, however,

sometimes the foundation for marriage was defective from the very time of the wedding.

What happened after the wedding sometimes points to problems which reflect that God had not joined the couple together.

I do not plan to re-marry. Should I seek a decree of nullity from the Church?

Perhaps. Some people find that simply writing out their testimony helps them to understand what was wrong and why. Others say that the process allowed them to tell their whole story for the first time to someone who was willing to listen. Many find that the

I AM HERE TO

HELP

By Margaret Oppenheimer, Tribunal Administrator I’ve been the administrator of the tribunal in the Diocese of Tyler since the beginning of the tribunal in 1992. I’ve been privileged to help many people through this process, and if you are in need of help from the Church concerning the status of a marriage, I will help you.

My job is to prepare cases for the judges of the tribunal. I work with people to gather the required information, evidence and testimony about their cases.

I have immense respect for people who 28

come to us and enter into this process. It’s not easy to re-open an old wound, and many people don’t want to examine a failed marriage. They survived a civil divorce and they just want to put it behind them. I understand.

If, however, a person will make this leap of faith, and work with the Church through this process, they can find out what’s possible for them.

I also find that people, once they are involved in the process, find it cathartic and

process helps them heal and find peace so they can move on with their lives. Also, one cannot know today if he or she might want to marry in the future when crucial witnesses may be deceased or one’s own memories may have dimmed, making the tribunal process more difficult.

How can I learn more?

The Judicial Vicar and head of the Tribunal for Tyler, Father Lawrence Rasaian, JCD, PhD, has prepared a resource on Annulment for the Year of Mercy. This very informative document is available at:

http://cetmag.org/tribunalmercy

healing. More than a few people are very resistant to writing their story down and then afterwards are so glad they did it. It’s like cleaning out a wound so that it can finally heal.

You don’t have to know anything about the theology of marriage or canon law to come to the Church for help. It’s our job to know the laws. Our judges are canon lawyers who train for years for this job and they’re very good at it. Along the way, I try to educate people about the process, and I’m always happy to answer questions. Really all that is needed on the part of the petitioner is a willingness to tell us your story.

Some cases are simple, and some cases are very complex. Multiple marriages may be involved. No matter what the situation, we take them all step by step and work on them for our clients. Everyone has a right to this process if they need it, and we treat everyone equally.

Some people have the idea that this is about assigning blame for a failed marriage. That is absolutely not the case. We don’t judge people, we judge facts. Often, in fact, giving their testimony and hearing the judgement of the Church helps people to see the their situation more clearly and that it never could have succeeded.

Often we have to obtain testimony, which is all handled in private and held in absolute confidence. Everyone who works with the tribunal takes an oath of confidentiality which we take very seriously.

There is no courtroom or cross-examination or anything like that. Everything is done on paper. It’s a completely confidential process. I do still keep a box of tissue on my desk because people are understandably emotional about this topic, but nobody

needs to worry about how they will be treated. My goal every day is to treat everyone I serve with respect and compassion.

It doesn’t matter whether a person is more comfortable communicating in English or Spanish, we can accommodate them. It doesn’t matter how wealthy someone is. Some people believe stories they hear about people “buying” annulments for thousands of dollars.

Nothing could be further form the truth.

We hope that persons using our services will make a donation to help us defray the cost of working on their case, and most people do. If someone can’t afford it, however, we will still help them and spend just as much time and effort on their case. We have a minimal $25 paperwork fee to file a case and get started, but some people cannot even afford that at the time of filing, and we still go to work for them. No one is ever turned away for a lack of money, and money absolutely does not enter into the judicidal process in any way. All cases are treated identically.

Some people are afraid that a judgement of nullity will mean that their children are considered illegitimate. That’s not true. That’s a matter of civil law, and we’re not involved in that.

Some people stay away because someone told them that there was no hope in their case. The only people who can make that judgement are the tribunal judges of the diocese. If you want to know about your situation, call me. I will help you. Don’t listen to hearsay or second-hand stories. There are too many untruths about this process floating around in our culture, and it’s sad that they keep people away from the help the Church offers.

Many people are concerned that the process takes too long. It doesn’t take as long as many people claim, and the recent changes to the process will speed it up significantly. To investigate a com-

plex case and render a reliable judgement on it, however, does take a while. These are important matters, and most of all we owe our clients the truth. It is because we as Catholics are dedicated to the truth about marriage that this office and this proces exist. We must maintain our respect for truthfulness and accuracy, and sometimes that requires patience.

I counsel everyone who asks for this process to be totally honest when they tell their story. That’s the only way to go forward when seeking a judgement based upon truth.

Not every marriage which is investigated is invalid. That’s just the way it is. Our judges must reach a moral certainty on these cases and they have to be totally honest about them. Their souls are at stake here, too.

One petitioner, now returned to the sacraments, wrote us a letter about her experience that I think sums it up: “Thank you all for your kindness in working with me. God has shown me how very serious the marriage covenant is, not to be undertaken lightly or without total commitment and understanding of how God sees it.

Only the Catholic Church understands this and has the authority to rule on it, as recorded in sacred Scripture. I wish all young people seeking marriage understood this.

If I had not received a decree of nullity, I would still continue to go to Mass and practice the faith, and pray for God’s mercy.

I am so thankful that the Church stands firm on the words of Jesus and that Holy Mother Church never departs from the truth.”q Margaret Oppenheimer is the Administrator of the Marriage Tribunal for the Diocese of Tyler. She can be reached at (903)-2662140 or at Tribunal@dioceseoftyler.org

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Kathy and Rick Brockington with the Pastor of St. Charles Borromeo Church in Frankston, Father Christopher Ruggles.

Families Anonymous

by susan de Matteo

Offering Hope to Families Torn by Addiction Addiction isn’t a solitary illness. As much as it ravages the life of the addict, it tears apart the lives of the addict’s loved ones. Parents, siblings, spouses and friends suffer their own torments of guilt, embarrassment, fear and despair.

Rick and Kathy Brockington know these torments only too well. Their son Nathan is a recovering addict, and for years they suffered the pain and helplessness of watching a beloved child very nearly destroy himself.

“It’s devastating,” said Kathy, “especially as a parent. As a mother, your first instinct is to fix things for your kids, to kiss it better and make them stop hurting. But you can’t do that with addiction.

There is no band-aid for this. The hardest lesson for the parent of an addict is to realize that we can’t fix this. Only they can. The only thing we can do as parents is to let go and wait for them to hit bottom. And that’s an agonizing lesson to learn.”

But learn it they did, and now they want to help other families do the same. Rick and Kathy are parishioners at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Frankston, and they have formed a chapter of Families Anonymous, a support group for families of addicts, alcoholics or those with other destructive behaviors. The group meets the second Monday of every month at 6:30 p.m. in the SCB parish hall.

Meetings last about an hour, and are open to anyone touched by the desperation of watching a loved one suffer.

30

It is the only Families Anonymous chapter in the 33 counties of the Diocese of Tyler.

“I couldn’t believe it when we looked on the (FA) website and saw nothing in this entire area,” Kathy said. “There are AA groups, AlAnon groups, but no Families Anonymous. And it’s not like there’s not a need. We have alcoholism and drug addiction in East Texas just like anywhere else.”

They felt the absence of a local chapter keenly, because they know intimately just how important such a group can be. Several years ago, when they lived in the Dallas area, they found and joined a Families Anonymous group in Grapevine, and, said Kathy, “it kind of saved our lives.”

“Addiction destroys a family,” she said. “The person that’s addicted has a disease and is in pain, of course, but they’re kind of oblivious to it. The people around them who are trying to go on with their daily lives are the ones that get ripped apart. You have a lot of fear for (your loved one), you have a lot of embarrassment for your family. The addiction reflects on you.”

“The addict will try to put a guilt trip on you,” said Rick.

“They’ll divide you. In our case, it was our son who tried to divide us, pit one of us against the other. So you have to learn how to figure out what’s going on–”

“And how to continue living,” Kathy picked up, “whether

the addict gets help or not. And that was the hard thing for me as a mother. I had to decide that I was going to do what was best for me, for us, and let him take care of his own life.”

As lifelong Catholics, Rick and Kathy’s first, instinctive step was to turn to their church. They were members of a large parish in Colleyville; Kathy sang in the choir. Where else should they turn but to the community that had nurtured their faith?

“We went to our pastor, told him our story, and asked if the church could help us,” Rick said. “And all he could tell me was that the diocese had a psychologist, and maybe we could speak to him.

That was it. They had nothing else.”

“This is a big metropolitan parish with 3,000 members,” Kathy said. “I know we weren’t the only ones going through this. It was just a shock to realize our church didn’t have anything for us.”

They found a family psychologist and went with Nathan.

The psychologist said he couldn’t help their son, but he had a suggestion for them. He gave them the contact information for the Families Anonymous group in Grapevine. Out of options, Rick and Kathy attended a meeting.

“We were desperate. We couldn’t go on,” Kathy recalled of those dark days. “Nathan’s addiction consumed us. We talked constantly about how to fix this. It was hard to work, it was hard to eat, it was hard to sleep.”

“I retired because of it,” Rick said. “I retired because of the stress of his addiction.”

In that meeting, though, they found others going through the same pain, the same struggles, the same torment. They found support and fellowship. They found hope and healing. And now they want to share that hope and healing with families in East Texas.

“This is a 12-step program very similar to the one used in AA,” Rick said. “We come together and share a reading, and then we talk. We share stories and experiences. And we listen. We don’t have any answers, because everybody’s experiences are different, and what works for one won’t work for all. But we can listen, we can talk. Most of all, we can let others know they’re not alone. They don’t have to be alone.”

“Addiction will isolate you,” Kathy said. “You don’t talk about it. You can’t. So you’re sort of locked into this struggle alone.

But Families Anonymous breaks that isolation. Sometimes, just knowing there are others out there going through the same thing is a tremendous help in itself.”

The Brockingtons moved permanently to Frankston about two years ago, after having weekended on Lake Palestine for some six years before that. Becoming fulltime members of St. Charles Bor-

romeo, they dived in. Kathy is the bookkeeper and sings in the choir, and Rick is president of the pastoral council. As they settled in, they began telling their story to Father Christopher Ruggles, SBC pastor.

“He listened to us,” Kathy said. “He was very empathetic, very compassionate. He became a friend.”

Still they felt the absence of a local FA chapter. And a mission slowly took shape.

“I didn’t want to do this,” Kathy admitted. “I didn’t want another commitment.”

“We attended a few AlAnon meetings in the area, but it never felt comfortable,” Rick said. “We needed Families Anonymous.”

The two began to pray about it. And then they talked to Father Ruggles, asking if he would be open to allowing the church to host a chapter. He was, indeed, open.

“I thought it was a wonderful idea,” Father Ruggles said.

“As the Catholic Church, we are concerned about families, about supporting families in good times and bad. Addiction is a terrible disease that affects families. Christ tells us to take care of those who are suffering, those who are in need. Who is more in need of Christ’s healing than families torn by addiction? I had to say yes.”

While FA is not a Catholic ministry, it was important to Rick and Kathy to have the support of their pastor and their parish.

Rick has also made the rounds of the other churches in the area, distributing information about the group and urging them to pass it on.

“For a lot of people,” he said, “when they’re in pain, the first place they turn is their church. It’s what Kathy and I did. So if we can get all the other churches on board, then we feel like we can reach more people. But whether we have one person or 30 at a meeting, we’ll be here. We’re in this for the long haul. We feel like this is our way of giving back.”

Nathan has been in recovery for more than a year now, and is putting his life back together. He and his older brother recently met and spoke for the first time in six years. The Brockington family is beginning to heal. Now Rick and Kathy want to help others find that same healing.

“Families Anonymous was a blessing to us,” Kathy said. “It saved us. If we can help just one person find that, then we’ll have done what I think God is asking of us.” 

For information about the Families Anonymous chapter in Frankston, call Kathy at 817-319-9843, Rick at 817-994-8248, or email rktnsl@aol.com.

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Call 1-888-322-8284. Proceeds benefit the needy throughout Northeast Texas.

31

DIVIDENDS

FOR LIFE

The 3rd generation of the Richbourg family is in the Catholic schools of the Diocese of Tyler. For this family, there is no question: Catholic education is worth it!

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It’s lunchtime on a busy schoolday when we meet the Richbourg family at St. Gregory Cathedral School in Tyler to interview them. St. Gregory is an organized beehive of activity, with laptop computers on desks and enclosed ecosystem aquariums on windowsills. Three generations of the family join us to talk about their Catholic educations.

Vincent, the patriarch, was a member of the very first 1st grade class at St. Gregory in 1945. His pride in the school is evident.

“Catholic schools lay the

foundation for a Catholic life, there’s no question.”

“This is a wonderful place, and it offers a wonderful education, both from an academic and a spiritual standpoint. Catholic schools lay the foundation for a Catholic life, there’s no question.”

Son Greg, a CPA like his father, agrees.

“I went through these schools, and graduated from TK Gorman. I was well prepared for college, certainly, but I was also just wellprepared for life. The lifestyle you learn in Catholic schools prepares you to make good decisions.”

Greg’s wife Christy was raised in Lindsay, Texas, which doesn’t have its own Catholic school. She recounts her first impression of St. Gregory. “We had visited the public school, and we immediately saw a difference at St. Gregory. The Catholic environment is real and obvious. We see the value of that and we want that for our kids.”

Their son Ryan is in the 3rd grade at St. Gregory. He’s obviously happy about the choice his parents made, and he explained to us in detail about the exciting elective study oportunities he has.

“Starting in 3rd grade, we can choose from athletics or computers or cooking or drama or other things. I chose drama. I’m learning about character and expression, and right now I’m playing the Big Bad Wolf in Red Riding Hood.”

Ryan’s cousin Joseph cousin is also at St. Gregory, in the 4th grade. His eyes light up while he describes the work he is doing in his computer elective, learning about programming this year.

He is obviously excited to be at school.

The boys leave to rejoin their classmates and the adults reflect on their familty tradition of Catholic education. Vincent says, “It really works, you know? It really does. Catholic schooling, in my own life, set my faith

on a firm foundation. It worked that way in my wife’s life, too. We could see that. We had eight children, and we knew we wanted to give that to all of our kids, that firm foundation.”

Greg feels the same way. “A critical time is when you leave home and go away to college; that’s a real test. In my life, my Catholic education helped me immensely through that time. You’re thrown into a strange environment when instead of 200 people in your school there are 200 people in one class, and it can be intimidating. The combination of academics and education in the virutes is what a person needs to survive.”

Christy adds, “This investment in your children’s character and values, it stays with them, it can help them at every stage of life.”

The family becomes passionate talking about Catholic schools, and their dedication is obvious. “I worked for years in fundraising to support Catholic schools, and now Greg is doing the same,” Vincent says. “These schools are a tremendous resource for our diocese.”

“They are successful in their lives and they are people of faith. A big part of that is the Tyler Catholic schools.”

Greg and Christy have another son at Bishop T.K. Gorman School, and they recommend Catholic education to everyone. “There are a lot of Christian schools in our diocese, but why wouldn’t you want your children’s daily experience of faith to be grounded on the solid rock of Catholicism?

For us, school and home cooperate, working together to reinforce the virutes in a wonderful way. To go to Catholic school is to spend every day within a Catholic community of faith.”

As we near the end of the lunch hour, teachers and students start to fill the surrounding classrooms. We ask Vincent to sum up the Richbourg family’s 70-year history with the Catholic schools in Tyler: “There is no better foundation for a Catholic life, period. It works. It worked in my life. It worked in my wife’s life. We had 8 kids, they all went through Catholic schools.

They are all Catholic today. They are successful in their lives and they are people of faith. A big part of that is the Tyler Catholic schools.

It works. It’s as simple as that.”q

Catholic schools in the Diocese of Tyler offer academic excellence and faith-filled education for students that pays Dividends for Life! National test scores, high school graduation rates, college attendance and other data show that Catholic schools frequently outperform schools in both the public and private sectors.

National Catholic Schools Week is the annual celebration of Catholic education in the United States. It starts the last Sunday in January and runs all week, which in 2016 is January 31 - February 6. The theme for the National Catholic Schools Week 2016 is “Catholic Schools: Communities of Faith, Knowledge and Service.” Schools typically observe the annual celebration week with Masses, open houses and other activities for students, families, parishioners and community members. Through these events, schools focus on the value Catholic education provides to young people and its contributions to our church, our communities and our nation.

Our Catholic Schools - Bishop Gorman (Tyler), St. Gregory (Tyler), St. Joseph (Marshall), St. Patrick (Lufkin) and St. Mary (Longview) - will observe the annual celebration week with Masses, open houses and other activities for students, families, parishioners and community members.

Through these events, our schools will focus on the value Catholic education provides to young people and its contributions to our Church, our communities and our nation.

National Catholic Schools Week January 31 - February 6 33

V I S I Ă“ N H I S PA N A Deacon Jerry and Mary Besze

Three couples married more than 50 years share with us the role of grace in their marriages. Their message? Trust in God with all your heart, seek His grace and help in the sacraments and you will be...

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GOLDEN They shall

Become One

An interview with Deacon Jerry and Mary Besze of Sulphur Springs.

“When I was a teenager, I was often asked if I was interested in being a priest.

I never was. Instead, in my mind, there was always an image of a woman I would marry and build a family with. When I met Mary, suddenly that image had a face, and I was sure,” says Jerry Besze.

Jerry and Mary Besze met in Denton, Texas in 1963. She was in college, and he was on temporary assignment at Shepherd Air Force Base. They were only together a short time before Jerry finished his assignment and was returned to his home in Ohio.

“We burned up the post office sending letters,” recounts Mary. Soon, Jerry made up his mind to risk everything. “I told my parents, ‘I have to go find out what this is about,’ and I hitched a ride on an Air Force plane back

to Texas. I had one hundred dollars in my pocket, and no plan except to get back to Mary. I won 28 more dollars playing poker on the airplane. That was handy!”

Jerry arrived back in Texas the day before President Kennedy was killed in 1963.

“The phrase from Scripture ‘He leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife’ is very meaningful to us. We were engaged for a year and a half, and Jerry never went back to Ohio during that time,” Mary explains.

“He sold his possessions, which were his car and his hunting dog, and left everything to come to Texas.”

Jerry, with the help of his father-in-law, found humble employment stocking shelves as seasonal help at Sears. Afterwards, he was hired by White Motor Corporation as a stock clerk. During that year and a half of time, Jerry lived at the YMCA in downtown Fort Worth. “The Y only cost a pittance, but sometimes I couldn’t even afford that,” Jerry recounts. “Many days I ate only a sandwich, sometimes only an apple.”

“I was still in school, but we were able to spend time together over the holidays. My mother said he came to Thanksgiving dinner and never left!” says Mary. “In the spring, we were talking about our plans for the future.

I told Jerry that my roommate had gotten an engagement ring, and I wanted to know when I would get mine.”

“I went to Zales and bought a $90 diamond ring on credit. I was making $1.50 an hour. By the time we were married I was making $2.05 an hour,” Jerry remembers.

“My parents insisted that I finish school before getting married,” says Mary. “I worked hard, took classes over the summer and did everything I could to finish early. We were married two weeks after I graduated in St. Patrick Cathedral in Ft. Worth. We went to Ohio on our honeymoon, and I met most of my in-laws for the first time. Jerry comes from a Hungarian family, and it was a real shock. They had accents and did a lot more hugging than Texans.”

Jerry recounts, “I remember the first argument we had. It was a shock. I come from 35

this loud, angry, demonstrative Hungarian family which loves to fight. She, on the other hand, had never seen her parents fight, ever.

So, when we had our first argument, I fought like my people did and I yelled and shouted.”

“I thought the world was ending!” says Mary. “She didn’t fight fair,” Jerry says. “She cried. I made up my mind right there, I didn’t want to make her cry. We learned how to disagree in a loving way.”

“When I realized everything he risked for me, it made me love him so much,” says Mary. “He gave up everything he had, everything he owned, everything he knew, all for me.”

“I didn’t feel like I was taking a risk, because I was so confident,” Jerry says. “I knew God was in charge. I knew I was doing right; doing His will. I didn’t have a plan B, and I didn’t need one because God was watching over us. Mary was my only plan, my only desire, and that was all I needed to know.”

The first child came along 11 months after the wedding and the Beszes had their first financial crisis. “The paperwork for our medical insurance wasn’t filed correctly, and we used every last bit of the money we saved from wedding gifts to pay the hospital bill.”

The family moved and grew, adding two more children and surviving many trials and tribulations which eventually brought them to the Diocese of Tyler, where they head the Office of Marriage and Family Life today, and to service in the permanent diaconate.

“I look back on our early life together, looking with the experience of my training in Catholic marriage preparation, and I can see that, despite our lack of formal marriage preparation, Jerry from the beginning was willing to sacrifice for me, and I for him,” Mary observes. “What at the time seemed only a romantic adventure was in reality an exercise on selfless love, self-sacrifice, and truly Catholic devotion to the good of another person. Or, maybe, because our Christian faith was strong, and our faith was the background for everything, we were able to trust each other enough to have this romantic adventure together.”

“Looking back, I can see God’s hand. I can see how grace sustained us, and kept us together. I can remember one day, in Ohio, my dad went out to get the mail, and he came back and said ‘I don’t know what you told that girl in Texas, but here are three letters from her!’ I said, ‘I have to go back to Texas and find out what this is about.’

Mary is my pearl of great price, that I sold everything to have, and I would do it all again. If your spouse is the most precious thing to you, then you will do anything for her, and that is the kind of love God calls us to have, a love that is willing to sacrifice.”

The Beszes conclude, “If you trust God, and follow His will, He won’t lead you astray. If your faith is the bedrock you build on, life can be an adventure.”

A Selfless Love

An interview with Billy and Vonnie Cordova of Nacogdoches.

Billy and Vonnie Cordova have spent their entire lives in East Texas. “The best place in the world,” they both say. As of January 20, 2016, Billy and Vonnie will have been married 60 years. “We’ve never split up, since the first date. We had a short courtship. When you meet the right person, you’ll recognize a selfless love, and you’ll be compassionate, not just passionate,” says Billy.

“I was Baptist, and my parents supported me marrying a Roman Catholic, which was rare. They really liked and respected Billy. I told my parents about the love we had for each other, and they accepted him and gave us their blessing,” recounts Vonnie.

36

“At the time, Catholics would eat fish on Fridays,” says Billy, “and my in-laws would always cook a fish for me on Fridays, even if it meant cooking two meals. That’s how supportive these non-Catholic Christians were of my Catholic devotions.”

The Cordovas scraped and saved and worked to make it in their early marriage. They worked as a team. “I graduated from high school the year we got married, and I enrolled in nursing school right after our wedding. We were young, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We supported each other,” says Vonnie.

“I worked at the gas station to support us and then when Vonnie started nursing, I started working in construction. It turned out to be good for us,” Billy confides. Beginning by remodeling bathrooms, the Cordovas worked together to build a construction business in Nacogdoches. “We even built the church where we go to Mass, Sacred Heart,” Billy says with obvious pride.

“You have to have compassion and selfless love for each other,” Billy explains. “That allows you to work together. At various times, one of us has supported the family while the other one got an education or started a business, and we’ve been together in these efforts, and wanted the best for each other, for us together.”

Vonnie explains that shortly after being married, she began to feel the pull toward Catholicism. “Ever since we were married, I went to Mass with him, and I fell in love with the Catholic Church. I told

Billy and Vonnie Cordova

and wanted to go alone, but no one was allowed to skip out of Mass, ever. That was a strict rule in our house. All three of our kids are still Catholic today, and all the grandkids,” says Vonnie.

“As a Catholic parent,” Billy explains, “you want your family to be in a state of grace. Being in a state of grace, being a holy family, makes for a happy family, too. You have to do the simple things, go to confession yourself, and encourage your family members to go to confession.”

Asked what advice they would give to young people considering marriage or newly married, the Cordovas are ready to offer the wisdom of 60 years. “Make sure you’re in love, and try to understand the difference between selfless love and selfish love. The kind of love that lasts, that will build a lasting marriage, is a love that wants to take care of the other person, to help the other person,” Vonnie tells us.

Billy adds, “You’ll have struggles all along the way. It’s a different kind of a struggle in old age than in youth, worrying about each other’s health, and along the way you worry about your children, but there’s always challenges. Everyone has challenges.”

Vonnie has advice on the family prayer life. “Always pray together. If someone requests a prayer, pray for them together as a family. Pray for your priest, your bishop, and your pope. Have a prayerful life together.” Billy agrees, “Always forgive your spouse. Pray for that first, the grace to forgive each other. You need that most of all. And never go to bed angry.” Vonnie concurs, “Right! You may not wake up! That was always our policy even from the beginning, to always work out a problem before we go to sleep.”

our pastor at the time, Father Cahill, that I didn’t want my husband to know I was becoming Catholic, because this needed to be completely my decision. He was a good priest and a good teacher. He instructed me for a month and then I was accepted into the Church and received the sacraments. I remember when I was a little girl, long before I really knew anything about the Catholic Church, I would see the nuns from Sacred Heart convent here in town. The rest of the kids were scared of the nuns, but I would run down from the playground to talk to them; they were the most beautiful things I had even seen.

As a little Baptist girl, I didn’t understand what they were, but I think that first experience of the Church worked on me. We need more nuns now, they certainly influenced me!”

Billy was indeed unaware. “In 1958, on Christmas Eve, Father Cahill called me and told me I needed to come down to the parish.

I was busy, and I told him I didn’t have time, but he said I had to get down there no matter what. When I arrived, I found that my wife was becoming Catholic that day. I had no idea!”

The Cordovas experienced problems having children, and were even told they could not have any, but six years into their marriage they had their first child, and three altogether. They set about building a thoroughly Catholic household. “We never missed Mass with our family. That’s so important, to take your children to Mass. Sometimes, in the teen years, the kids didn’t want to go with their parents 37

Three to get Married

An interview with Deacon Joe and Marilyn Bianca of Longview.

Joe and Marilyn Bianca met at Loyola University in New Orleans. “We literally bumped into each other in line to register for classes,” Marilyn recounts.

“My parents were against us getting married,” says Joe. “They wanted me to be completely finished with medical training before marriage, and that was a long, long time. away. We wanted to be married, so Marilyn quit school to support us so we could. I finished medical school in 1968 and we came to Longview in 1974. We’ve been here ever since.”

Marilyn describes coming to Longview; “It was a culture shock, for a couple of New Orleans kids who went to Catholic school and were raised in that culture, to come to East Texas where Catholics were almost unknown. At the time there were 113 churches in Longview and only one of them was Catholic. Things are much different now and Catholics are accepted into the Christian culture of the town.”

“What has always guided us is the idea that a real, sacramental marriage is three people,” explains Joe. “Two

Deacon Joe and Marilyn Bianca

spouses, and God. We have shared our faith together since the start, gone to Mass together since the start, and been friends from the start. When you’re young and emotional, your love blooms, but without the foundation of friendship, respect, and God’s presence you won’t make it.”

Being a medical family hasn’t been easy on the Biancas. “When he was at Parkland Hospital in Dallas, he worked 36 hours on and 12 hours off, and during that 12 hours he slept! It was tough,” admits Marilyn. The family had to work hard to arrange time together. “I had to make a decision to do what I had to do to spend time with my family. When our kids were growing up, I couldn’t be at every practice and rehearsal, but I committed to being at every important event. I found a way, even if only for an hour or two, to be with my family,” says Joe. The Biancas can point to God’s grace working many times in their marriage. “Our son, when he was just ten years old, had to attend a school in Dallas for his educational needs for two years. We could only see him once a month in this year-round program. It was necessary to help him become a well-educated, successful adult, but it was so hard on the family,” recounts Joe. Marilyn continues, “When he was away from us, he said the rosary every day, and asked to be taken to Mass in Dallas, and that’s God’s grace working in our family. Grace sustained us when we missed him so much, and sustained him when he was away from us.”

Marilyn suffered from cancer, and the Biancas credit their faith with strengthening them through that trial. “She had to be transferred on an emergency basis to St. Paul’s hospital in Dallas, which at the time was a Catholic hospital. I think having those Catholic chaplains there, having the Mass, having the sacraments got us through,” says Joe. “When things get that bad,” states Marilyn, “having the third person involved in the marriage becomes really, really important.”

“I went to Dominican school as a kid, “ Marilyn explains, “and so I was raised with a devotion to the Rosary and to the Blessed Mother. In my prayer life, I’ve learned over the years what’s important and what to talk to God about. In the beginning of a prayer life, you tend to ask for the wrong things, and as you grow you learn to ask God for what your family needs to be healthy and holy. You learn to pray for the needs of the people you care for, constantly.”

“My education was with the Jesuits,” says Joe. “A lot of who I am, and my formation, happened in Jesuit high school. I think it has reached fruition late in my life with ordination to the diaconate. I went through a period of spiritual dryness, about 20 years ago. I felt everything was just routine, and my faith had to be re-generated.

This happened through an ACTS retreat, and this renewing of my faith eventually led me to be interested in the permanent diaconate.”

Marilyn agrees, “I could see the difference when his faith was renewed. My faith had to be renewed along the way, too. This is important for families, that you support each other to grow in the faith.

I supported my husband, encouraged him through this process and he did the same for me.”

“Whatever it takes as a family, be active. Do what it takes to kindle your faith,” says Joe. “Whether it’s a retreat or spiritual direc-

tion or whatever, the spiritual health of one member affects the entire family.”

We asked the Biancas what advice they give to engaged couples. “First, make your faith the foundation of your marriage,” they say. “Pray together, go to Mass together. When you have children, practice the faith with them. Have the Advent wreath in your house, take them to the Stations of the Cross during Lent, and teach them the Rosary. Only if you give them the faith will they have it and be able to hand it on to their own families. Only if they see you practicing the faith will they practice it themselves.”

They also have advice about fighting. “Oh, you’re going to fight. Nobody makes it 50 years without fighting,” Joe advises. “But when you disagree, respect each other. Talk about the disagreement, never attack the other person.” Marilyn adds, “Make a decision to work it out; don’t end the day and go to bed angry. Never go to bed angry.”

“Be kind to each other,” Joe advises. “God’s grace can and should create kindness in you, especially toward your spouse. Be good to your spouse. Do little things for your spouse. Buy flowers, arrange to take them someplace special. Make time for them.

When we were first married and had no money, we spent time in the park feeding the ducks; later in marriage you still need to find time to be alone together, as hectic as life is. Do those simple things with and for your spouse.”

“I worry for people who go into marriage without faith,” says Marilyn. “Life and marriage are a challenge. In our life together, I can see all the times that God sustained us. I don’t know how anyone could make it without God together with them in the marriage.” q

Pillars of the Community Feliciano Financial Group Proudly Supports

Adam N. Todd

ministries

Upcoming talk THRIVE Catholic Young Adult Conference (Dallas Diocese) – A “Plan” for All Seasons: Catholic Financial Planning

Adam and his wife Jodi coordinate the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception’s Marriage Preparation Program which involves meeting with engaged couples on topics including Finances, Communication, Families of Origin and the Sacrament of Marriage.

Recently asked to be a member of the Board of the St. John Paul the Great Catholic Campus Ministry which serves the students of UT Tyler and TJC.

adam n. todd Vice President of Financial Services Investment Advisor Representative Feliciano Financial Group (O) 903.533.8585 Adam@FelicianoFinancial.com

previoUs engagements • Covenant of Love Date Night Having A “Rich” Marriage: Catholic Perspective on Marriage & Money • Theology On Tap – Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread: A Catholic Perspective On Financial Planning • Tyler Area Senior Citizens Association – Strategies for Charitable Giving

Financial Planning ◆ Tax Planning ◆ ReTiRemenT Planning HealTH insuRance ◆ lTc/cRisis managemenT ◆ liFe insuRance ◆ Risk managmenT 1828 ESE Loop 323, Suite 200 Tyler, TX 75701

Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through a representative of Woodbury Financial Services, Inc., Member FINRA, SIPC, and Registered Investment Advisor. Fixed and traditional insurance offered through Feliciano Financial Group, which is not affiliated with Woodbury Financial Services, Inc. Feliciano Financial Group and Woodbury Financial Services, Inc. are not affiliated entities. Feliciano Financial Group, 1828 ESE Loop 323, Suite 200 Tyler, TX 75701 (903)533-8585. Jose Feliciano is not a government employee, Feliciano Financial Group is not a government entity, nor are they affiliated with any government entity.

39

V I S I Ó N H I S PA N A

Monseñor

Strickland

Me llena de gozo el poder compartir con ustedes mis reflexiones personales, como parte de esta edición del Catholic East Texas, sobre el matrimonio y la familia. Al profundizar sobre estos elementos de nuestra jornada humana, mis pensamientos surgen desde mi experiencia personal de familia hasta algunas de las enseñanzas, más bellas, que nuestra tradición católica nos ofrece.

Aunque debemos reconocer que las instituciones como el matrimonio y la familia están siendo amenazadas en esta era moderna, es mi deseo que, como creyentes, celebremos verdaderamente, el matrimonio, la familia y todo lo bueno que traen a nuestro mundo. Para llevar esta analogía un paso más profundo, cabe decir que cada matrimonio entre un hombre y una mujer comprometidos el uno con el otro, para toda la vida, es el núcleo de la “célula” que es la familia.

Es esencial que nos mantengamos con esta imagen de familia ideal. El modelo bási-

40

co de familia es la unión para toda la vida, de un hombre y una mujer, rodeados de sus hijos. Porque las variaciones de este modelo son muchos, a veces somos tentados a ignorar el hecho de que esta definición básica de familia es el modelo que Dios, nuestro Creador nos ha ofrecido. Muy a menudo, en la sociedad moderna, nos aferramos a este modelo de familia y se nos acusa de ser inflexibles, descuidados y fanáticos. Es esencial que abracemos a cada persona y a cualquier familia, de la cual son parte, con gran compasión. Es un verdadero reto para nosotros el mantener un balance en todo esto porque hay tantos elementos complejos de cómo está formada nuestra familia. Existes muchas variaciones del modelo mencionado, de familia, que crea grandes retos y no son elecciones personales pero debemos reconocer que muchas veces nuestras opciones personales impactan nuestra familia de una forma significante. Muchas veces, de formas diferentes la familia falla en cuanto a ser un modelo ideal. Esto no debe causar que ignoremos el modelo ideal, de familia, sino que debe llevarnos a abrazar con compasión cada familia fragmentada.

Su Santidad el Papa Francisco, durante su visita reciente a los Estados Unidos, describió a la familia como el “La Obra Maestra de Dios”. Yo los animo a abrazar esta imagen y a tomar de ella el gozo y la esperanza que nuestro Padre amoroso quiere compartir con cada uno de nosotros y de nuestras familias.

Así como en el mundo del arte existen muchas variaciones de expresión en una Obra Maestra, así es también, en la familia. Ver a la familia como la Obra Maestra de Dios nos recuerda que Dios es un miembro esencial en cada familia. Cada miembro de cada familia es pecador y con necesidad de una Obra Maestra llena de misericordia en sus vidas.

Dios, el artista, trabaja en cada uno de nosotros y nos ofrece Su misericordia, Su amor y Su vida.

La familia ideal es una Obra Maestra de Dios pero reconocemos que cada una de nuestras familias individuales es una Obra en proceso, es una Obra no terminada. El llamado de nuestra fe católica es individual y para cada familia, y nos llama a cooperar con

El Artista al transformarnos en Su imagen.

El Año de la Misericordia es un tiempo ideal para que, cada uno de nosotros reflexionemos en cómo podemos ser modelos de misericordia en nuestras propias familias y la familia de Dios. La familia es, en sí, una expresión bellísima del amor de Dios, su misericordia y su compasión para cada persona humana. Él sabe que necesitamos la familia como un lugar para crecer y desarrollarnos y ser más enteramente Sus hijos.

Que continuemos en esta jornada con el Señor y busquemos un día reunirnos como familia en la mesa de Su banquete celestial.q

hacia la plenitud, que es El mimo. Es por esto que habla a José y a María individualmente.

La misión de San José y la Virgen María inicia en medio de alegrías y dificultades. Si recordamos, primero no encontraban un lugar para el nacimiento del Hijo de Dios; después, la confusión por la llegada de los pastores y los reyes magos que querían adorarle, y más tarde, hay que salir huyendo a Egipto. ¡Imagino las largas conversaciones que tendrían San José y la Virgen María ante tales acontecimientos! Sin duda había entre ellos una complementariedad perfecta.

Sabían que para los dos Dios tenía un plan y confiaban.

Si nos ponemos a analizar la situación de la familia de hoy nos daremos cuenta de que está en peligro, hace falta meditar en la “complementariedad” de la Sagrada Familia.

Al presente el padre y la madre viven en una constante competencia por demostrar quién es mejor, quien gana más, quien ayuda más y quien puede más con los hijos. Por esta competencia, sin sentido, la familia va perdiendo identidad en su composición de padre, madre, e hijos.

Seden a la distancia entre unos y otros y la convivencia familiar brilla por su ausencia.

En la audiencia general del 15 de abril del 2015 el Papa Francisco decía, que “se va perdiendo la “complementariedad” entre hombre y mujer, ambos hechos a imagen de Dios, con igual dignidad, pero con características diferentes que los lleva a una comunión y no a una competencia”. La falta de “complementariedad” se nota cuando, en las familias, todos tienen prioridades diferentes, cuando no se ve un esfuerzo común por vivir la ley

La Familia Según el Designio Amoroso de Dios

POR: ALMA LETICIA URBINA En el Evangelio leemos como el Angel Gabriel se aparece y habla con una joven doncella, llamada María. Le anuncia que ha sido elegida para ser la madre del Mesías y le comunica también como sucederá esto (Lc. 1:26-28). Por otra parte, también leemos que Dios comunica, su plan de salvación, a san José, por medio de sueños (Mt. 1:18-25) un mismo plan- comunicado de dos maneras diferentes. Humanamente pudiésemos preguntar: ¿Por qué Dios no comunicó el mensaje a estos dos personajes estando juntos? Se hubieran evitado muchas dificultades y dudas. Sabemos que nuestros pensamientos humanos son limitados y con nada se comparan a la sabiduría infinita de Dios. El llamado de Dios es personal para cada hombre y mujer, le habla al corazón y lo conduce

del amor y cuando entre padres e hijos la comunicación es mínima.

Jesús, José y María vivían una vida en armonía con Dios y con ellos mismos y por eso tenían bien claro el plan de Dios para sus vidas. La unión, - en libertad - del hombre y la mujer, así como fue la de San José y la Vírgen, hace posible que en el núcleo familiar se vea reflejado, en cierto sentido este “primer” plan de Dios para esta pequeña comunidad.

Dios pone de manifiesto su amor y su plan se ve revelado cuando en una familia todos se respetan, se valoran, se nutren y se ayudan.

“El matrimonio y la familia están ordenados al bien de los esposos y a la procreación y educación de los hijos. El amor de los esposos y la generación de los hijos establecen entre los miembros de una familia relaciones personales y responsabilidades primordiales” (CIC, 2201), por lo tanto, este plan de Dios para todas las familias consiste en que en ellas se descubra, por su forma de vivir, un amor tan especial que anime a otras familias a vivir de igual modo. Cuando una familia opta por ir contra corriente, por vivir una vida de acuerdo al plan de Dios, él la utiliza para hacerse real y presente a otras familias, especialmente a familias en conflicto.

El vivir de acuerdo al Plan de Dios no quiere decir que se va a vivir sin participar del “sufrimiento”, eso sería iluso. El sufrimiento, los problemas y las dificultades forman parte de nuestra existencia humana, pero esto no obstaculiza, de manera alguna, nuestro intento por vivir vidas auténticas, al contrario, estos pequeños detalles deben animar a padres, madres e hijos a crear un ambiente donde el apoyo y la oración común sea como el pan cotidiano.

Sabemos que hay algunas familias en las que falta el papá o la mamá, así como en la mía. En mi hogar, mi madre era el sostén.

Ella, una mujer extraordinaria, trabajadora, inteligente, emprendedora, protectora, amorosa, ante la ausencia de mi padre, tuvo que redoblar esfuerzos para sacarnos adelante, a mis hermanos y a mí. Mi madre trabajó incansablemente y vagamente recuerdo que nos decía que una herencia, que podía dejarnos para después de su muerte era que estudiáramos, que nos esforzáramos por ser personas de bien, con valores morales definidos y personas de fe. Mi madre nunca nos habló mal de nuestro padre, nunca contaminó nuestro corazón de esta manera.

A la muerte de mi madre me di cuenta de que una verdadera familia es aquella que sabe descubrir, en la Sagrada Familia, la luz que puede iluminar las oscuridades y las malas corrientes que, a veces, trae consigo el convivio familiar. q 41

La familia es el marco perfecto en donde Dios realiza sus grandes obras por la humanidad. Primera comunidad humana instituida por Dios, en cuyo ambiente privilegiado se nace y se crece en todos los aspectos que constituyen la totalidad del hombre. Es aquí donde se moldean buenos cristianos y se perfilan dignos ciudadanos que anhelan construir una sociedad más humana y justa. “La familia es una fábrica de alegrías y esperanzas” nos ha dicho el Papa Francisco. “Escuela donde se aprende a ser persona y se asimilan los valores trascendentes que llevamos inscritos de manera innata”.

Es por eso que en el seno familiar el hombre reconoce su genuina vocación: “Conocer amar y servir a Dios” de la cual se deduce el camino a seguir en la vida o vocación personal. El buen testimonio de Papá y Mamá, como cabezas del hogar, nos permite conocer y sentir la presencia constante de un Dios providente y amoroso, al que aprendemos a llamar Padre. En el diario interactuar con los miembros de la familia nos enseñamos a ser comprensivos, generosos, tolerantes y misericordiosos ante las fragilidades humanas. Tomamos conciencia de las necesidades y urgencia de nuestro tiempo, por lo que en un momento dado nos llevará a tomar decisiones y actuar en bien de los demás. Entonces comprendemos que la vocación, de un profesionista, sea cual sea su especialidad, tanto como la de un consagrado a Dios en los diversos ministerios de la Iglesia, son una respuesta a las necesidades de los hombres y a la invitación de Dios que nos llama para construir su Reino de amor.

Desde mi experiencia como Monja Contemplativa, considero mi vocación como el fruto de la fe de mis padres. Las diversas circunstancias vividas en el hogar me ayudaron creer que Dios está vivo y

muy cercano al hombre. Siempre me cautivó la actitud de mi padre cuando surgía algún problema grave, lo veía con frecuencia ante una imagen del Sagrado Corazón de Jesús, y se quedaba un tiempo más después de misa para visitar a Jesús Sacramentado.

Esas actitudes de él me hablaron de su fe más que sus consejos.

Los días festivos en que asistíamos a la Iglesia en familia, eran realmente una fiesta para todos. Aunque si nos hubieran preguntado a cada hijo: ¿qué celebrábamos hoy? quizá no lo sabíamos, pero estábamos allí contentos de experimentar el amor de Dios, que a través de signos y acciones nos fue convenciendo de que Él realmente está allí. También la devoción de rezar el santo rosario en familia ofreciéndolo por varias necesidades, me llenaba de esperanza sabiendo que ellos rezaban por mí y yo por ellos. Así es como la iglesia doméstica, nos enseña a ser miembros activos de la Iglesia Universal.

“Considero mi vocación como el fruto de la fe de mis padres.”

Yo considero que el rumbo de mi vocación lo señaló Dios por medio de mi madre. Recuerdo que ella, era miembro de un grupo católico y uno de sus ministerios era hacer visitas de caridad. Ella escuchaba

LA FAMILIA CRISTIANA FUENTE PRINCIPAL DE TODA VOCACIÓN

Por: HNA. IRMA ZEPEDA, OP a la gente y les brindaba unas palabras de esperanza compartiéndoles la fe a su manera. Después de hablar con los pobres, me decía: “Ahora vamos a hablar con Dios”. Y se dirigía al Sagrario más cercano para estar allí en silencio durante 30 minutos, lo que a mí me parecía una eternidad. Era una niña de 7 años, que entendía poco, pero mi madre me eligió para acompañarla cada día.

Así fue como a su lado aprendí a disfrutar el silencio del Sagrario y a pensar en el dolor ajeno. No recuerdo haber rezado alguna vez por ellos, mi única oración era preguntar a Dios constantemente: ¿Por qué hay tanto dolor entre la gente?, ¿Es que no habrá alguien que pueda ayudarlos a cambiar sus vidas? ¿Podrá alguien, ayudarles sin costo alguno por sus servicios?.

Unos años más tarde, Dios comenzó a dar respuesta a mis preguntas. Conocí la vida de algunos santos y sus obras heroicas.

Me interesé por saber más de ellos, cómo y dónde vivían, pues yo quería ser como ellos porque había descubierto, en ellos, la ayuda que Dios manda al mundo a cambio de nada. Así preparó Dios mi corazón para decirme un día: “Ve y haz tú lo mismo”.

Cuando escuché su llamada, fue fácil para mí decir: Si, ya que entre los sueños de mi juventud, el principal era llegar a ser una gran amiga de Dios y hablarle en favor de los más necesitados, así como esos grandes santos. Hoy que lo entiendo mejor, veo que aún estoy tan lejos de esa heroica realidad.

Que solo soy una criatura frágil con una hermosa vocación en la que hay mucho por trabajar. Sin embargo, sé que desde la vida silenciosa y orante del claustro yo puedo hacer el bien a mucha gente aun cuando ni siquiera sepan que existo. Nuestra vida y oración constante es un don de Dios para la Iglesia y el mundo entero, no tiene límites.

Nuestro Oficio es Divino y no tiene ningún costo para el mundo.q 43

Los Reyes

Una Familia de “Inteligentes” para Cristo

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Silverio y Margarita Reyes son los padres de cinco hijos: Karla de 16 años, Reyna de 13, Allan de 9, Diego de 7 y Eduardo de 5.

Desde su llegada a EU, hace 17 años, y de después de haber navegado por diferentes parroquias se establecieron en Gun Barrell City un pueblo al oeste de Texas. Se integraron a la comunidad parroquial de St. Jude y ahí ofrecen sus servicios.

Los Reyes son una familia que, a pesar de las circunstancias de la vida, procuran acoplarse al ambiente de este país y buscan, con ahínco, a Dios. Para ellos, vivir la fe y practicarla no es una opción sino que es parte de su estilo de vida. No ven su vida de fe como una carga sino como algo, que como familia, practican.

Es muy bello darse cuenta de que como familia están activos en la parroquia, los padres son Ministros Extraordinarios de la Comunión, imparten clases de catequesis para adultos y ofrecen las clases pre-bautismales. Las hijas, Karla y Reyna, son catequistas y asisten al grupo juvenil. Reyna también es ministros del altar junto con Allan, los más pequeños ayudan en lo que pueden.

A Karla, la hija mayor, el hecho de que sus padres estén tan envueltos en el ministerio la enorgullece sobremanera. Dice: “Me gusta que mis padres busquen a Dios y lo sirvan. Eso me dice que para ellos la fe católica es esencial”. Reyna por su parte, dice que como siempre los ha visto envueltos en la parroquia, no se imagina que podrían estar haciendo otra cosa.

A pesar de que los dos esposos están envueltos en las actividades parroquiales, dicen que la lucha por mantener a su familia unida es un verdadero reto. “Siento que vamos contra corriente”,

dijo Margarita, “la tecnología, la diferentes religiones, las opciones que los jóvenes tienen en este momento de la historia son de verdad retantes. La sociedad aprueba ciertos comportamientos que van contra la moral y contra lo que Cristo nos ha dejado dicho en su Palabra. Los cuestionamientos que nuestros hijos tienen, son validos, pero no son lo mejor que podrían estar cuestionando”.

Por su parte, Silverio dice: “El invitar a los hijos a dialogar y hablar con la verdad es una de las formas con las que hay que enfrentar estos retos sanamente. No hay que utilizar palabras ofensivas, dijo, o humillarlos para que entiendan lo que queremos enseñarles. El diálogo es una herramienta que si se utiliza bien puede servir para conseguir buenos resultados y lograr que los padres e hijos vivamos en paz.”

Por su parte a Allan, el “monaguillo”, le gusta servir a Jesús en el altar, dice que la parte que más le agrada de la misa es el momento en que recibe la comunión. “Me gusta ese momento porque Jesús viene a mi corazón, yo quiero que Jesús siempre esté conmigo”. Entre todos sus sueños, para cuando sea mayor, este niño quiere ser sacerdote.

Para la familia Reyes, este deseo de Allan es una responsabilidad. Saben que ese deseo viene de Dios y que hay que cuidarlo y nutrirlo. Por esto y para pedir a Dios lo que necesitan para mantenerse firmes en su fe, hacen oración todos los días; por la mañana y por la noche. Allan ha tomado esto de la oración muy en serio dice Margarita: “Cuando por algo todos se sienten cansados y no tienen ganas de orar, Allan se asegura de que no nos vallamos a ningún lado sin antes orar, y es este niño el que mantiene a

la familia orando siempre”.

Para Reyna, la oración diaria es lo que rige su día, dice: “La oración es parte de mi horario del día. Sé que es algo que tengo que hacer y si no lo hago, no siento que lograré todos mis proyectos. La oración de todos los días me ayuda a enfocarme y a hacer bien lo que tengo que hacer”.

Los esposos Reyes están agradecidos con Dios por los hijos que tienen: “Somos una familia de inteligentes” dijo Karla, la hija mayor “porque todos tenemos buenos grados en la escuela y porque las decisiones que tomamos usualmente son las mejores. Agradezco el hecho de que mis padres no se pelean o discuten frente a nosotros. Me da mucha seguridad y me siento muy contenta de que ellos sean mis padres. Nunca los cambiaría por otros, porque aunque a veces pienso que no me entienden, siento que tratan de hacerlo y procuran ayudarme como pueden. Sé que quieren lo mejor para mí y para mis hermanos y por esto estoy muy agradecida con ellos”.

El sueño de Silverio y Margarita para sus hijos es que sean personas de bien, que busquen servir a Dios y que logren ser buenos ciudadanos. “Si mis hijos, cuando sean adultos, se involucran en las actividades parroquiales y sirven con amor a sus hermanos sería, para mí, el regalo más grande” concluyó Silverio. q

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Familia y Obras De

Misericordia

Por: P. ROBERTO GOMEZ

El Evangelio de San Lucas 7, 22 dice lo siguiente: “Contestó pues a los mensajeros: Vuelvan y cuéntenle a Juan lo que han visto y oído: los ciegos ven, los cojos andan, los leprosos quedan limpios, los sordos oyen, los muertos se despiertan, y una buena nueva llega a los pobres”.

La misericordia será el núcleo fundamental de la predicación de Cristo y la razón principal de sus milagros.

Cada día se nos presentan incontables ocasiones de poner en práctica las enseñanzas de Jesús acerca de nuestro comportamiento ante el dolor y la necesidad. Y esa actitud compasiva y misericordiosa debe darse, en primer lugar, con los que habitualmente tratamos, con quienes Dios ha puesto a nuestro cuidado y con los más necesitados.

Desde antiguo la Iglesia ha enseñado la práctica de las 14 obras de misericordia: 7 espirituales y 7 corporales. En esta ocasión vamos explicar las corporales. Empecemos por mencionarlas: visitar y cuidar a los enfermos, dar de comer al hambriento, dar de beber al sediento, dar posada al peregrino, vestir al desnudo, visitar a los encarcelados y enterrar a los muertos.

1. Visitar y cuidar a los enfermos. La enfermedad, ya sea física, interior o espiritual forma parte de la vida humana y cuando aparece, la persona siente mucho dolor, pero sobre todo mucha soledad. Es bueno ayudar económicamente a todos aquellos enfermos que nosotros podamos, pero sobretodo la mejor ayuda es estar con ellos, escuchándolos y dándoles palabras de aliento.

2. Dar de comer al hambriento. Jesús multiplicó 5 panes y dos peces para alimentar a mucha gente que estaba hambrienta; él sabía que necesitaban el alimento de la Palabra de Dios pero también el alimento del cuerpo. Cuando nosotros ayudamos al que no tiene que comer estamos alimentando al mismo Cristo y además tomamos la misma actitud de Nuestro Señor.

3. Dar de beber al sediento. El agua es un líquido muy necesario para la vida de las personas; que felicidad sentimos cuando la tenemos con nosotros ya que nos ayuda a subsistir. Sin embargo, en este mundo donde reina la injusticia, hay gente que no tiene agua para consumirla; hay lugares donde el agua está contaminada por las acciones desordenadas del mismo hombre que se ha convertido en el lobo de sus propios hermanos. Pensemos en aquellos que la necesitan y llevémosla con entusiasmo, ya que hay mucha más alegría en dar que en recibir.

4. Dar posada al peregrino. Hay muchos hermanos que por las condiciones de pobreza carecen de un techo digno donde cobijarse; en pleno siglo XXI esto no debería de existir cuando hay los suficientes recursos para tener una vivienda propia, pero lamentablemente es una realidad; otros tienen que emigrar a países extraños en busca de un trabajo con el cual puedan tener lo necesario para vivir dignamente, pero en lo que logran acomodarse necesitan de personas generosas que les brinden un techo donde pasar la noche. Procuremos tener siempre los brazos abiertos para los demás.

5. Vestir al desnudo. Con que frecuencia nos encontramos con hermanos vestidos con ropa sucia y viviendo en malas condiciones por causa de su pobreza; recordemos que toda persona es un hijo de Dios y hermano nuestro. No pasemos de largo solamente viendo y analizando el sufrimiento de los demás, en la medida de nuestras posibilidades brindemos a estos hermanos nuestros un vestido adecuado que les haga recobrar su dignidad. Recordemos que Dios paga con creces el sacrificio que hacemos.

6. Visitar a los encarcelados. Sabemos que hay muchos centros donde hay personas recluidas que tienen que pagar un castigo justo o injusto. No somos quienes para juzgar a los demás, solo Dios conoce el corazón de las personas. Cuantas veces la misma sociedad se encarga de abrir heridas y ataduras en los seres humanos por medio del libertinaje y el consumerismo. Las personas encarceladas necesitan sanar sus heridas, cambiar su forma de pensar e ir logrando, poco a poco, la transformación de sus corazones. Es una ardua tarea, pero el acercarnos a ellos y brindarles el amor de Cristo es una medida saludable que les crea una fortaleza interior que los reanima; recordemos que el Papa San Juan Pablo II visitó y perdonó, en la cárcel, a quien lo quiso matar.

7. Enterrar a los muertos. Nosotros enterramos a los muertos no para olvidarlos y desentendernos de ellos sino porque es una forma de hacer que su cuerpo esté tranquilo y en paz. En cada persona habita el Espíritu Santo, por eso es justo que los difuntos tengan una cristiana sepultura.

“en pleno siglo XXI esto no debería de existir cuando hay los suficientes recursos para tener una vivienda propia, pero lamentablemente es una realidad.”

Varias de las obras de misericordia deben cumplirse primeramente en la misma familia ya que el designio de Dios es que los hombres crezcamos en el amor, y ese crecimiento tiene que darse en la familia.

Los derechos del niño están en primer lugar. Ellos son los más débiles y más necesitados de protección y cariño, por lo tanto hay que desarrollar una profunda estima por su dignidad. Los hijos son siempre una fuente de alegría y no un estorbo. El futuro de toda nación está en los niños pues ellos son los que trabajaran para mantener la cultura, el patrimonio y los deberes de la nación. Por eso es importante que los derechos de los niños sean respetados desde el momento de la concepción.

A la familia también le corresponde el cuidado de la tercera edad. Hay culturas que muestran un profundo respeto por los ancianos. Nunca son vistos como un peso insoportable sino todo lo contrario, por eso siguen insertados en la vida familiar. Así lo dijo el Papa San Juan Pablo II en Familiaris Consortio, no. 27 Por el desordenado desarrollo industrial hay culturas que han marginado a los ancianos causándoles mucho sufrimiento y al mismo tiempo, causando también, un empobrecimiento espiritual a sus familiares.

La vida de los ancianos es muy importante porque ayuda a entender la escala de valores y a perpetuar las siguientes generaciones. Por lo tanto nunca constituyen una carga. La sabiduría de los ancianos es una perla de gran valor que hay que admirar siempre.

En este año de la misericordia brille en nuestras familias la práctica continua de las 7 obras de misericordia corporales para manifestar al mundo que es posible vivir de acuerdo al Evangelio.q 47

V I S I Ó N H I S PA N A

Tribunal Eclesiástico Oficina que procura la justicia desde la caridad de Cristo “… De modo que ya no son dos, sino una sola carne. Así pues, lo que Dios ha unido, que no lo separe el hombre….” (Mateo19, 6) Si le preguntáramos a una persona del común en nuestras parroquias, es decir, a una persona buena y sencilla que no tiene ningún tipo de formación jurídica o teológica, que es un ‘Tribunal Eclesiástico’ tal vez la respuesta más común sea ‘no lo sé, no estoy seguro,’ o tal vez por analogía pueda relacionar la idea de tribunal con los conceptos de leyes, normas, potestad, autoridad y aún castigo. También sería posible encontrar respuestas relacionadas con algún tipo de función de la Iglesia, así como también a las leyes o normas de la Iglesia y su aplicación. Pero podría ser válido afirmar que tal vez una de las últimas palabras que llegan a la mente de las personas cuando se les cuestiona acerca del concepto de tribunal es misericordia o caridad. Definitivamente la noción de tribunal siempre está más relacionada con el concepto de justicia y su aplicación que con la idea de caridad y misericordia.

Para hablar del tribunal eclesiástico como una oficina que busca la justicia desde la Caridad de Cristo, tenemos que tratar ‘de entrar en la mente’ del legislador, o por lo menos, tratar de entender lo que el legislador supremo, que es el Romano Pontífice (Santo Padre) y Vicario de Cristo en la tierra tiene en su mente y en su corazón cuando promulga una ley para la Iglesia Universal. Los tribunales eclesiásticos en la Iglesia son efectivamente organ-

48

(2da parte)

Padre John J. Gomez, JCL Vicario General

ismos que prestan a la comunidad eclesial el servicio de la administración de justicia.

Pero para las personas que trabajamos, o mejor aún, que prestamos este ministerio en la Iglesia nuestro quehacer diario no solo está centrado en la justicia eclesiástica por sí misma, sino en la justicia desde la caridad de Cristo. Cada tarea que asume el tribunal eclesiástico, sea en la vigilancia de la buena administración de la justicia, así como en los procesos para defender los derechos o reclamar los deberes de un clérigo o un religioso, o en un proceso para definir el estado matrimonial de una persona, debe estar regido por la caridad de Cristo buscando siempre el bien supremo que es la salvación de las almas de los fieles del Señor.

Para nadie es un secreto que la mayor parte del tiempo y de los recursos invertidos en el tribunal eclesiástico son en los casos de nulidad matrimonial. El tribunal eclesiástico ayuda a personas que tienen problemas con sus matrimonios, ya sea que necesiten la ayuda de la Iglesia para investigar si su unión anterior fue valida o invalida, o que necesiten ayuda para convalidar una unión ilegitima anterior.

En este último caso a través de una sanación de Raíz, la Iglesia sana (convalida) la unión que se había contraído inválidamente años atrás por razones diversas. El tribunal también responde a las personas que buscan la ayuda especial de una gracia o privilegio especial que llamamos ‘Privilegio Paulino’, el cual consiste básicamente

en la disolución del primer matrimonio entre dos partes no bautizadas (matrimonio no sacramental) y las posteriores nupcias de la parte que recibe el bautismo con un cónyuge también bautizado. Naturalmente hay muchos pormenores y regulaciones que se deben seguir al pie de la letra para poder recibir esta gracia del privilegio Paulino. Como estos procedimientos apenas mencionados, hay muchas otras funciones que el tribunal eclesiástico realiza, en favor de las personas que llegan buscando ayuda, siempre como una extensión de la caridad que el Señor mostró por todos aquellos que se encontró en su camino cuando estuvo entre nosotros.

En la línea de servicio a la comunidad eclesial y de la búsqueda de la justicia desde la caridad de Cristo el Sumo Pontífice publicó en Roma el 15 de Agosto del 2015 (Solemnidad de la Asunción de la Bienaventurada Virgen María) su carta Apostólica en forma Motu proprio, ‘Mitis Iudex Dominus Iesus’ (El Señor Jesús, Juez Misericordioso) la cual reformó el proceso canónico para las causas de declaración de nulidad del matrimonio en el código de Derecho Canónico. Estas nuevas normas y esta reforma entraron en vigor el 8 de Diciembre de 2015 (Solemnidad de la Inmaculada Concepción). En este Motu Propio el Sumo Pontífice deja claro que realiza este acto jurídico usando su potestad como vicario de Cristo y suce-

sor de Pedro y con el ánimo que siempre ha movido a la Iglesia a través de los siglos, que es buscar siempre la salvación de las almas, preservando y buscando siempre, claro está, la Justicia y la verdad.

Dentro de los cambios esenciales que se han dado en la legislación de los procesos de declaración de nulidad matrimonial, se resaltan la necesidad de una sola sentencia en favor de la nulidad. Antes se necesitaban dos sentencias conformes, es decir que una vez el proceso finalizaba en el tribunal de primera instancia, o el primer tribunal que tomó la causa, tenía que ser enviado para una segunda revisión, en nuestro caso al tribunal eclesiástico de San Antonio, y esto tomaba al menos seis meses más de espera para los conyugues.

También el Romano Pontífice ratifica la necesidad de un juez único para las causas de nulidad. Antes se pedían tres jueces, aunque en la práctica ya desde hacía mucho tiempo el juez único se daba como una excepción.

Un gran cambio que se da en la nueva legislación es el principio de dar mucha más responsabilidad y centralidad a la figura del Obispo como Juez. El Obispo siempre ha sido el juez y sobre él pesa toda la potestad judicial, en otras palabras el Obispo siempre ha tenido la responsabilidad de velar porque la justicia se dé en su diócesis y que los procesos sean correctamente administrados. En muchas diócesis esta función ha sido siempre desarrollada mayormente por el vicario judicial que es el encargado del tribunal en cada iglesia local (diócesis). Con esta nueva legislación el Obispo recibe una gran responsabilidad en los procesos de declaración de nulidad. El Sumo Pontífice fue aún más lejos al crear una nueva vía de resolución de los procesos llamada ‘El Proceso más breve’ que no es un proceso administrativo en sí, desde ningún punto de vista. Con esta nueva forma de afrontar el proceso de declaración de nulidad, el legislador supremo busca que aquellos casos en los cuales existen argumentos evidentes para demostrar la nulidad matrimonial puedan ser resueltos en forma mucho más breve que un caso que pase al proceso ordinario. Además el legislador supremo pide al obispo cuidar que no se dé un laxismo, es decir que desde ningún punto de vista se pueda arriesgar o comprometer el principio de indisolubilidad del matrimonio – …lo que Dios ha unido que no lo separe el hombre – (Mt 19,6). En otras palabras con este proceso breve, el Sumo Pontífice

busca brindar justicia y seguir buscando la verdad por encima de todo.

Otro aspecto que se debe rescatar es el deseo de evitar cobros innecesarios y buscar que la justicia pueda ser ofrecida a todos incluyendo a las personas que no puedan pagar. El documento presenta la doble dimensión de la situación al pedir que sin comprometer la justa y digna remuneración del personal de los tribunales, se asegure la gratuidad de los procesos. El principio regente es poder brindar justicia gratuitamente en nombre de Cristo a los fieles, ya que todos hemos sido salvados gratuitamente. Es claro que en nuestros tribunales locales y en los que nos rodean el dinero no ha sido un factor determinante para que un caso se tome o se rechace. Pero siempre es bueno recordar este principio y saber que la justicia y la verdad no se pueden cambiar por unas monedas y que lo que se pueda ofrecer al tribunal es siempre para ayudar a cubrir los gastos generados por estos procesos. Por último, este Motu Propio del Romano Pontífice deja siempre abierta la apelación voluntaria de las partes y esta apelación puede ser como siempre a la segunda instancia (sede metropolitana correspondiente) o directamente a Roma.

Es claro que con este nuevo énfasis y con esta nueva legislación, el Sumo Pontífice busca agilizar los procesos de declaración de nulidad y con ello ayudar a las personas que acuden al tribunal a regresar cuanto antes a los sacramentos, en cuanto puedan entrar en una alianza matrimonial valida. Es claro también que la verdad, la justicia y la caridad de Cristo siguen siendo los motores que mueven el ministerio realizado en los tribunales eclesiásticos y que las puertas de los tribunales y de la caridad de Cristo manifestada en la Iglesia se abren una vez más, especialmente en este año de la misericordia declarado

también por el sumo Pontífice y del cual ya se ha hablado ampliamente.

Si usted necesita ayuda del tribunal para alguna situación particular que este enfrentando en su matrimonio, o si usted no puede participar de los sacramentos por estar en una relación irregular y necesita la asistencia del tribunal para investigar si su primer matrimonio fue valido o invalido.

Más aún, si usted conoce a alguien que necesita ayuda no dude en buscarla. La primera persona que debe ser contactada es su párroco, él debe estar en la capacidad de orientarle y guiarle en el proceso que debe seguir. Pero usted siempre puede recurrir directamente al tribunal para que una persona lo atienda, lo guíe y le ayude a iniciar el proceso que necesita para salir del estado irregular en el que se encuentra.

Recuerde que el Sumo Pontífice también ha cambiado la Jurisdicción, o el tribunal que puede tomar los casos. Anteriormente un caso no podía ser tomado si una de las partes, uno de los cónyuges, vivía fuera de la conferencia episcopal donde estaba el tribunal que tomaba el caso. Con esta nueva legislación se abre la posibilidad para que todos los casos sean tomados con la sola condición que el matrimonio se haya celebrado en la diócesis donde está el tribunal, o en donde vive uno de los ex cónyuges o donde estén la mayor parte de las pruebas. En otras palabras se ha simplificado enormemente el proceso para que muchas más personas puedan ser beneficiadas.

Al final el objetivo es el mismo, llegar a cumplir el mandato evangélico: Sean Santos como vuestro Padre celestial es santo (Mt 5,48). Así que por favor no tenga miedo y busque la ayuda que necesita para que pueda ser cada vez más un mejor discípulo del Señor, experimentando la caridad de Cristo que se derrama en la Iglesia cada día.q

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Learning the Sacred Liturgy Understanding the Mass with Peyton Low, Editor-in-Chief

With ever busier schedules packed full of work, school and activities, families who commit to gathering regularly, if not daily, for a shared meal understand that this is an important way to strengthen their bond and grow closer despite all that is going on around them.

Pope Francis stressed the importance of this in a recent General Audience. “The sharing of a meal – and therefore, other than of food, also of affections, of stories, of events – is a fundamental experience.

If in a family there’s something that doesn’t work, or a hidden wound, at the table it’s understood immediately.”

If the family meal is, in the words of the Holy Father, a fundamental experience that feeds, unites and heals us, then how much more fundamental is the shared, sacred meal of the Eucharist that we, as a Catholic family, are called to each Sunday, and perhaps even daily.

The Eucharistic meal was established by our Lord on Holy Thursday when, knowing that his hour had come, Jesus gathered his family – the Apostles – for a meal during which he washed their feet and gave them the commandment of love. To leave them a pledge of this love, and “in order never to depart from his own and to make them sharers in his Passover, he instituted the Eucharist as the memorial of his death and resurrection, and commanded his apostles to celebrate it until his return.” (CCC 1337) As this passage from the Catechism of the Catholic Church shows us, we recognize and celebrate that there is more to the Mass than a memorial meal shared in love.

It is the memorial of Christ’s sacrifice during which “we offer to the Father what he has himself given us: the gifts of his creation, bread and wine which, by the power of the Holy Spirit and by the words of Christ, have become the body and blood of Christ. Christ is thus really and mysteriously made present.” (CCC 1357) The Mass is truly a sacrifice, yet we know that Christ is not sacrificed again. We understand that the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the once-for-all sacrifice of Calvary re-presented to us down through the ages so that the saving effects of Jesus’ passion and death are made present and its fruits applied each and every time the Mass is celebrated, following the Lord’s command to “Do this in memory of me.”

But these two understandings of the Mass – sacrifice and meal – are not in opposition to one another. Jesus inaugurated the Eucharist at a sacrificial meal, the Jewish Passover, the night before he himself was to be sacrificed on the cross. He chose the Passover meal to fulfill what he had announced at Capernaum: giving his disciples his Body and his Blood. In so doing, he gave the Apostles the key to

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understand what was to happen on Good Friday: Jesus, the spotless lamb slain for us as the new Passover sacrifice, becomes our food. The altar of sacrifice becomes the table from which we are nourished. It is the Catechism that best explains this relationship. “The Mass is at the same time, and inseparably, the sacrificial memorial in which the sacrifice of the cross is perpetuated and the sacred banquet of communion with the Lord’s body and blood.” (1382).

As Pope Francis described, there are many gifts that come from sharing a meal as a family. These unifying fruits of eating together come about in a mysterious and more perfect sense in the sacred meal. Just as having a family meal bring us closer together, Holy Communion intimately unites us with Christ, and through him to our family in faith. “Communion renews, strengthens, and deepens this incorporation into the Church, already achieved by Baptism. In Baptism we have been called to form but one body.” (CCC 1396) Indeed, the Eucharist is properly the sacrament of those who are in full communion with the Church. This unifying aspect of the Eucharist was recognized by Saint Augustine who exclaimed of Holy Communion, “O sacrament of devotion! O sign of unity! O bond of charity!” We may not make such pious aspirations when our unique and sometimes challenging families are gathered for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners, but we nonetheless recognize that these shared meals join us together in the bond of family.

Addressing Cuban families on his Apostolic Journey, Pope Francis made the familial aspect of the Mass clear. “The Eucharist is the meal of Jesus’ family, which the world over gathers to hear his word and to be fed by his body. Jesus is the Bread of Life for our families. He wants to be ever present, nourishing us by his love, sustaining us in faith, helping us to walk in hope, so that in every situation we can experience the true Bread of Heaven.”

In our Catholic faith, by giving thanksgiving and praise to the Father and worthily eating the “flesh for the life of the world” together, we are united as one family despite differences in language, race, culture, education or income level. In this sacred meal, we grow as a divine family that God, through his Son, has adopted us into through the sacrifice of Christ. When we receive the Eucharist in a state of grace, we eat the food that makes us live forever and we are strengthened for the journey toward the heavenly banquet, the great wedding feast of the lamb, where Jesus, the bridegroom, sits with his bride, his family, the Church.

May we never neglect nourishing our families with the heavenly meal that the Son of God sacrificed himself to give us.q

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