11 minute read
Louanna Miller
Advertisement
Q. Tell everyone who you are and what you do.
A. I’m Louanna Miller (Faine). Wife, Mother, Journalist, and Branding and Digital Marketing Specialist. While I’ve been fortunate to create a life that I love with the love of my life Desmond and my daughter Laila and being pregnant with my second child it’s been a long road getting here. The journey that I went on to arrive at this point in my life wasn’t easy but arriving where I am now is one of my greatest accomplishments. Because of my brutal childhood, the thought of becoming a mother myself sent me into a whirlwind of emotions. But one thing was for certain, I was determined to give my daughter a loving childhood, the childhood that I never had. When asked about my experience as a mother, “I didn’t want to be like my birth mother and how I would raise my own daughter would reflect that. To this day, I still have my own issues from all the neglect and abuse that I suffered through but with the love and support of my husband and daughter we get through them together.
Laila is now 2 years old and is my world. I am currently expecting baby number 2 in September. Being a mom is the greatest gift that I could’ve ever asked for. After years of desperately trying to fit in and create families with foster homes and people who mistreated me, I can finally say I have my own family that genuinely loves me. I currently have a branding agency where I coach small business owners to
Q. Define motherhood in your own terms.
A. Motherhood starts when you get pregnant, and you feel that first kick and you are talking to your unborn child throughout the day. You feel that baby growing inside you. As a mom you do everything to protect them by staying away from certain foods, beauty procedures while sacrificing your whole body just to make sure they are healthy. Once they make their day view in the world it doesn’t matter how much it hurts cause once you hold them it was worth it. Motherhood is when they are first born you don’t sleep, you will do anything for them. Motherhood to me was despite of all the pain of breastfeeding I kept doing for my daughter. Despite of how sick I was during my daughters second birthday I built all the strength to decorate the house for her birthday. It’s about being vulnerable but protecting your child at all costs. Motherhood is about pushing through all the sleepless nights because your child needs you. Motherhood is the most rewarding job/ title I ever carried.
Q. What are some things you love about being a new mom?
A. The best part about being a new mom for me is the unconditional love I feel for my daughter and the love she feels for me. I never realized how big my heart would get, especially since I’ve never experienced this kind of love before. The way my daughter looks at me and smiles, or how I can be doing work and she climbs up on the couch and cuddle with me is priceless. I love watching her grow and try new things every time I praise her, she gets so excited. Experiencing the small moments that can’t be explained, characterized, or memorized. Those fleeting moments go by so fast. I look at pictures when she was a newborn, like where did the time go. It’s her love that helped me get through postpartum depression I knew I needed to be strong for her.
It’s even her love that has given me the strength to fight all these health scares during this current pregnancy. When you become a new mom there is nothing like it.
Q. Can you tell us some of the difficulties you’ve had during your pregnancy?
A. In my first pregnancy I had extreme nausea and every smell bothered me. I struggled with having swelling in my feet and legs I was put on bed rest and then my second trimester in the middle got a little better. Then here comes preeclampsia where I had to go see my doctor weekly and get weekly stress test. I was supposed to get induced at 37 weeks cause of the high blood pressure but due to Covid my doctor held out which I later found out was more dangerous. The week my daughter was born I started having contractions and she gave me morphine and send me home. I ended up having more contractions and went back to the hospital and because I hadn’t dilated, she proceeded to give me morphine the third day I went in I only dilated .5 cm and demanded them to induce me. 20 hours later of pain and hard delivery I deliver a beautiful baby girl. This current pregnancy where I am 23 weeks has been even a harder one, I have Hyperemesis and was unable to hold down any food for months causing me to lose weight and being hospitalize. I than had to receive IVs daily where I had doctors coming in and telling me that because of the hyperemesis and my Addison’s Disease flare up I have 50% chance of dying along with my unborn baby. It ended causing me to have an emotional breakdown and had to trust myself and even though the doctor told me don’t force myself to eat, I pushed myself to eat so I could stop getting IVs and started taking natural medicine to combat my Addison’s Disease. Right when we thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, I started struggling with having a high pulse and shortness of breath. It’s still a struggle so I have to take it easy, and a lot has been put on my husband. We are hopeful that I will not get preeclampsia but as of right now I must limit my trips to the store and take my blood pressure daily and see my doctor every 2 weeks.
Q. Let’s talk about juggling life, love and business all at the same time.
A. Don’t believe the hype in movies about how perfect motherhood will be especially for those first-time mothers who are business owners. The fake reality of Hollywood will showcase how you snapback instantly, with a sleeping baby while catching up with your friends. Then on top of being married and being a wife to my husband. I’m not going to lie I failed on this one over and over my husband kept expressing how I put my daughter first and feeling left out. I didn’t learn how to balance this one until my daughter became a toddler. The key is balance. As a founder and business owner and a first-time mother, I can say that it’s harder than I ever could imagine. I must remind myself there are only 24 hours in a day. Especially when I was a breastfeeding mother, I must prioritize with my clients because when my daughter wants to eat or just wants to be comforted by mommy, she doesn’t care about what work needs to be done. Now that my daughter is 2 years old the demand for my attention is much greater. I can be working on a project, and she wants my attention she doesn’t care what is going on all she knows is that she wants mommy. I thought that was demanding and then in January I became pregnant with my second child while having a toddler it is no joke and not for the weak while running a business and being a wife. In the beginning of pregnancy, I thought that time management would be the key but then I got hyperemesis and other health issues. I had to prioritize my health by praying and having regular self-talks daily because I was beginning to feel guilty. I’m constantly filled with selfdoubt and feeling doubt am I am able to do both. Every day I found myself beating up on myself about my appearance and failing to complete every task from cleaning and working. I recently had to take a moment and remind myself I am enough and that I can conquer what is ahead. I must say having my baby girl and being pregnant may have had challenging days but is the best gifts I ever received.
Q. How did motherhood change your life?
A. As a young girl, I always felt like my childhood destroyed any chance of being Someone’s mom. When I found out that I was pregnant with my first daughter, the reality of being a mother hit me hard. As someone who had been in foster care her entire childhood and lacked any family support system to back up these feelings it scared me because of all the things I’ve gone through in childhood, but now as a mother it’s given me a true meaning in life. I never experience unconditional love before until my daughter came in
the world. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. I realized that it no longer matters if I had a mom, sister or family because I was going to give my daughter everything I didn’t have. I had to learn the hard way through my postpartum journey that even so called friends wouldn’t be here but that’s ok cause I was exactly what she needed. I became extra protective of my child because of what I went through. There was one point that the only thing that matter was my daughter I had to learn that wasn’t healthy and learn how to trust others and learn how to take some self-care time so I can be the best mom for her. Now that I am expecting baby number 2, I can say things will be a little different but she was my first.
Q. If you had to choose one parenting mantra for yourself, what would it be?
A. I choose to be proud of myself today. The transition into motherhood was a shock for me. My daily routines, expectations of myself and life in general were all challenged after becoming a mama! It felt like everything I had created for my own personal success just didn’t fit anymore - from the way people treated me; to feeling fulfilled as if this is what’s expected out of you when you become someone else’s momma... I struggled a lot with not really having a support system and dealing with postpartum depression but it’s okay because many other women have gone through similar feelings too. You are the only one who can stop yourself from going down a dark path. Choose to be proud of yourself now and every day, focus on what you’re grateful for in your life instead!
Q. What are you most proud of in your motherhood journey?
A. Growing up, I had very little access to regular meals, appropriate clothing, and proper education. I experienced rejection, neglect, and abandonment at such a young age by my biological mother who was a drug addict who sold me for drugs so needless to say, I had never had an example of a mother and how to be one. Becoming a mom was one of the scariest but rewarding at the same time because of not an example of what a mother should be. Granted I had mother figures in my life that offers their knowledge but it’s not the same as having your mom. despite of not having a mother or family when my first daughter was born, I instantly became the mother hen. To be able to show her unconditional love and never experience it myself must have been one of my proudest moments in life so far! One thing that made me feel good about giving birth is how much effort went into breastfeeding for almost 2 years- even though there were many obstacles when I made the choice to breastfeed my daughter, it wasn’t an easy path but one that has been worth every minute. She is currently over two years old and never got sick even with Covid. The bond that me and my daughter have is like no other every time I leave the house, she runs up to me. I am so blessed to be her mother and experience this gift called motherhood.
Q. Are you working on any projects or upcoming events?
A. After struggling with health complications during my pregnancy, I’ve had to put all future projects on hold. It’s not easy but it has been worth every moment spent taking care of myself and our second baby girl. My pregnancy isn’t an easy one but will be worth every moment when I hold her in my arms.
Q. Where can the readers follow you?
A. www.realtalkenterprise.com www.realtalklouanna.com @realtalklouanna on all social.
