HEARTH 36
Reflections on rooting change-making into our daily lives, as a means of living the future now.
Chain Reaction #141
Friendship as anti-capitalism Aia Newport
Friendship isn’t some ground-breaking new solution to our 21st-century problems but if this column is to talk about the foundations of our lives, friendship is surely one of them. In a world so measured, economised and aimed at extracting profit, friendships allow us to practice relating outside of a capitalist mindset. On a fundamental level, connecting with others comes from a need for safety, security and support – the classic ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’. Yet if this is all we are seeking from fellow humans, we would be satisfied calling our therapist, hiring someone on airtasker to help or ordering uber eats for a hearty soup when we’re feeling sick. While friends absolutely provide us with support and a sense of safety, friendship is so much more than that. Friends bring us joy, companionship, solidarity and meaning. They bring us to life, make us laugh, feel loved, show us new perspectives and challenge us to be better. The joy we feel in friendships has radical potential for liberation. Adrienne Maree Brown, a post-nationalist writer, doula, activist and Black feminist, teaches us the power of pleasure activism and “the work we do to reclaim our whole, happy, and satisfiable selves from the impacts, delusions, and limitations of oppression and/or supremacy”.1 Like Brown, I believe joy is a precondition for liberation, and friendships allow us to tap into this. Friends also help us feel less lonely. In a world where capitalists profit off our fear and isolation by selling us products that will supposedly make us happier, leaning into our friendships and feeling the connections we already have can reduce the power of the ruling class. Moreover, the sense of solidarity that comes from friendship can help us face what can be an overwhelming picture of the future and give us reassurance that whatever is coming, we will face it together. The giving that exists between friends is also anti-capitalist in the ways it challenges economised interactions. With friends we are drawn to giving to each other out of trust, care and co-operation, rather than the monetised exchanges we see in many other areas of life. We care for our friends’ well-being and so we give without expectation of trade or remuneration. In a capitalist society it has become normalised to approach social interactions with the question, “What can I get from this interaction?” Perhaps with friends we ask, “What can I give?” For example, if a friend of mine has had a rough day and I ride over to their place to make them a hearty soup I would have no expectation that they pay me for my time and energy, nor would I expect December 2021
Photo: Aia Newport
them to trade anything or come and make me the same soup next time I’m sad (though I might hope they will). The soup was made out of love and the delivery of it was a gift not a transaction. The way we give to our friends is inherently anti-capitalist and shifts the motivation for sharing our time, energy and resources from one of personal gain and profit to co-existence, joy, empathy and care. Letting the generosity we see in friendships flow into other areas of our lives also has potential to shift us towards less transactional ways of being together. Mutual aid networks are a great example of what can happen when we care for our wider community in the way we care for our friends. I’ve recently moved to a new town and found myself living in a long-standing share-house. Some of my housemates have close connections with people living across the road, and even as I was write one of them walks through the backdoor to grab a cake-tin. One of my housemates is in his sixties and the two of us quickly bonded. One day he took a friend and I for a bike tour of the town and showed us his favourite buildings and rock walls for climbing while he told us some history of the town. I don’t have many friends who are old enough to be my grandparent, but I’ve found having older friends is so important for creating space where stories, knowledge and life experiences can be passed on.
