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FROM THE PORCH SWING I CONFESS I hate to admit it, but it’s true. The ‘From the Porch Swing’ column isn’t always written from my porch swing. I moved a couple of years ago, and the swing that was happily under a covered and screened porch is now mostly out in the elements and the bugs, subject to leaves and rain and mosquitos and wasps and wind. So sometimes - heck, often - this column is written from an airplane seat. Not just any airplane seat, but the one, best,
screen, the keyboard is too close to my belly (like jammed into it) for me to type on it. And conversely, when the keyboard is at typing distance, the lid with the screen on it is up against the back of the seat in front of me and won’t open enough for me to see it. And, no, I can’t afford first class airfare, even if Southwest did offer it. But, but, but, and again but (Ian Fleming’s Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), in just one exit row,
golden seat on Southwest Airlines. Well, at least the one, best, golden seat if you want to work while you are flying. The rows on most airplanes are too close together for a man 188 cm (6’ 2”) tall with proportionate arm length to type into a laptop. When the lid is open far enough for me to look down onto the
on just one side of all of Southwest’s planes, there are only two seats instead of three. The window seat next to the emergency exit is missing, but there is still a tray table behind the seat in front of that space. So, so, so, and again so (I made that one up), if I sit in what is normally the middle seat in that row, I can
HCB MONTHLY | APRIL 2020
use the missing seat’s tray table by pivoting about 45 degrees. At that diagonal angle (not Diagon Alley), I can both type and see my laptop screen at the same time! Woo-hoo! This makes my spot in the boarding line crucial. Southwest doesn’t assign seats, they’re ‘first come, first served’ upon entering the airplane. But they do assign spots in the queue (that’s “line” to you Americans reading this) for boarding. I can tell you that I have watched the person directly in front of me in line (“queue” for you Europeans reading this) take my one, best, golden seat. Being in the right order in the boarding line/queue can make my day (Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry), while being in the wrong order can break it. Sequence is thus very important to me.
