Real Life Real Faith RestoreHER Magazine January/February Issue by Cheryl Lacey Donovan

Real Life Real Faith

RESTOREHER DECEMBER SPECIAL EDITION

January/February Edition 2021

POSITIVE ENERGY IN MOTION

MEET .

Sheena Lynne

The Waffle Queen Kemet Co Clothing Healing, Enlightenment, and Renewal

RestoreHER

HEALIING ENLIGHTENMENT RENEWAL

09 Positive Energy in Motion

34 Meet Sheena Lynne

43 Being a Woman Makes Me Feel Powerful

R E A L L I F E R E A L FAITH R E S T O R EH E R MAGAZINE P.O. Box 212, 45012 Houston, Texas 77245 832-827-4438 hello@restorehermovement.org www.restorehermovement.org

E L I S S A G A B R I E LLE

WELCOME

C H E R Y L L A C E Y DONOVAN

S U B S C R I B E O NLINE bit.ly/restorehermag

RestoreHER is a magazine for women that is built on intention. We don't want to put any guest, article or recommendation here that doesn't have a focused intention of empowering women behind it. We're living in a moment where it's more important than ever to put yourself first therefore, we want to inspire you to unapologetically become all you were created to be while learning to care for yourself in order to better care for others. RestoreHER really wants to give women more to look at, to inspire them and to remind them that life is fun! w. Our goal is to provide women with as much inspiration as possible online and in the magazine. We pledge to provide more curated inspiration, to give our audience real stories so that our women will get great ideas on how to live authentically . And now with a legion of lovely readers, some awesome sponsors, a collection of wonderful contributors, and a huge social media followings, RestoreHER is heading into 2021 with the aim of bringing you even more thought provoking advice to ensure your transformation.

RESTOREHER/ MARCH/APRIL

Cheryl Lacey Donovan

Here are five ways you waste time every day. See if you can relate. 1.

Social Media/Emails/Texts

It’s become a vital part of our lives. But the world won’t stop turning if you don’t look at your social media for 15 minutes. Another big distraction is hearing that too familiar ‘ding’ that comes with a new email or text message. It prevents you from finishing the task at hand because you keep looking at your phone every five minutes. Picture this scenario: you’re in the middle of work when your phone beeps. You reach for your phone to see your incoming message. So, you go from message to email to Facebook to Instagram. Then, when you’re done, you notice that 20 minutes have gone by. Research shows that each time you get distracted, even for a couple of minutes, your brain needs more than 20 minutes to refocus. Imagine how much wasted time that amounts to at the end of the day! The Fix: Avoid randomly checking social media, emails, or texts. Instead, set up a certain time during your day for doing just that. In the meantime, turn off any notifications or mute your phone. 2..

Organizing and Preparing

You’re probably wondering: how is this a time-waster? But too often we fall down the rabbit hole of ‘organizing’ our day. Sometimes, we take too far that we actually run out of time to do any of the things on our list. The Fix: Find an online planner and to-do-list. Then, pick one day out of the week where you plan out the whole seven days in advance. Schedule in work-related projects, meetings, and deadlines. You can also include a workout schedule and get-togethers with friends. 3.

Multitasking

Multitasking: another thing that we do to trick ourselves into believing we’re being productive.

Yet, the sad truth is, multitasking wastes a ton of time. It’s counter-productive when your attention is divided among several tasks at once. In other words, it’s just another form of distraction. The Fix: It’s simple. Just put all your attention and focus on one task at a time. When you’re done, move on to the next task, and so on. 4.

Checking the News

In this day and age, it seems something is happening in the news every five minutes. So, it’s easy to use the news as an excuse for procrastination. After all, we all want to be in the loop when it comes to politics, sports, and local news. The Fix: Force yourself to stay away from checking news updates every half hour. You can use sheer self-discipline, or you can use a site blocker. One great example is the Stay Focused Chrome app. It helps you ‘hide’ certain websites for, say, 45 minutes. Then, tell the app you want to spend 20 minutes on the so-and-so website. After the 20 minutes are done, the app will block you again until your next break.

Errands and Chores

The problem isn’t with the errands or chores themselves; it’s when you do them. Running errands during rush hour is one of the biggest time wasters ever! Doing chores is another. You might be sitting at your desk, working away when you notice a dusty shelf or a cluttered drawer. So, you do the responsible thing and start dusting and decluttering. You tell yourself that it’ll only take five minutes. Then, when you’re done cleaning the entire room/office, the day is over! And you still haven’t finished what you’re initially working on. The Fix: Plan your errands ahead when you know there’ll be less traffic. Also, try to do your shopping when you know the stores won’t be as crowded and they’re in their least peak hours. As for chores, set up one or two days during the week when you do all the dusting, cleaning, and decluttering. This way, even if you see catches your attention, you can push back in your mind and wait until ‘chore day’ rolls around. A Final Note We all get the same amount of time each day: 86,2400 seconds, 1,440 minutes, or 24 hours. It’s up to you to figure out how you’re going to spend that time. Sadly, many of us spend our days doing things that don’t really add any value to our lives—or anyone else’s for that matter. The good news is you can train yourself to focus more and have fewer distractions. Make a conscious effort to add purpose and value to your life and follow through. You’ll soon notice you’re getting more done during your day than ever before!

: “Positive Energy in Motion” (Emotional) Jamesina Green Without a doubt, 2020 tried our very Souls. Emotionally we were pushed to the limit. Many of us struggled to believe that we would survive. Yet, here we are! Some of us were wounded, sick, broken and discouraged, yet we remain. We walked through fire and learned yet again, that there is no struggle beyond God’s ability to reach. Multiple times our Faith was shaken and our Hope diminished but through our transparency and cries for help, we healed. Periodically, events will occur, people from your past will cross your path and you realize that there are areas where you are not as healed as you thought you were. But even in those moments, you must remember your Divine purpose and let it guide you to where you need to be. There is no timetable for Emotional healing or recovery. Very often it takes longer for the soul to heal than it does the body. However long it takes, you must keep speaking peace to yourself and celebrate every single stage of success. It is imperative that we surround ourselves with those who speak life into our lives. Those who understand the power of unity and positivity. We are called to a higher level, in this Season of life. We are rising above the lower-level thinking, the victim mentality the blaming and shaming and we are marching forward. We gather the lessons we have learned in the wilderness and we are consuming them. At some point you mature and realize that you receive what you give. If you want to be loved, you must love. If you want to be respected, you must respect. Positive Energy is fed and nurtured through reciprocity. Life is full of harsh realities, it just is. During those times you must still yourself, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Get still. As you still yourself, get clarity about your next move. Stop worrying and thinking that you are not good enough. Stop believing that other people know what is better for you than you do. Stop allowing others to tell YOUR story.

Understanding your worth includes making others value you, your time and your gifts and your space. You know YOU and what makes you uncomfortable. Make the choice not to do it. That’s your right. My Sister, you deserve a peaceful and positive existence. Demand it for yourself. Realistically, there are times when you can be doing your very best. Achieving and succeeding at higher levels, and there will STILL be those who find fault with you. Family members and Friends who never clap for you. That’s okay. Focus your Energy on continual success. Connect with those who impart wisdom and carry on. Remember, your Life Journey is much bigger than just a few negative occurrences and who you are at this moment is a sum total of all you have experienced. It has taken rejection and redirection. With every breath that you breathe, you breathe Purpose. With every step you take, you get closer to Destiny. We must commit to breathing and walking. We cannot quit. Here, at this place, you can realign, refresh and recalibrate, then move forward. There is no limit to where God will take you when He can trust you.

Journal Prompt

WHAT DID

YOU LEARN TODAY?

Managing COVID-19 Stress Tips on looking after yourself

Take a break from the news.

Take care of your body.

Make time to unwind.

Connect with others.

The situation may be overwhelming, but coping with stress will make you, the people you care about, and your community stronger.

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT.

KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. Meditation can help, but it's not the only solution.

Know your options and take care of yourself.

CHEF JIKU

SKINSECRETS.COM

DRINK WATER Avoid dehydration by drinking of plenty of water in between dinner and your pre-dawn meal

SELF QUARANTINE PROCEDURES Source: Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention

Stay in a designated room and use designated toilet/bathroom if possible.

Wash your hands with soap and water. You can also use alcohol or hand sanitizer. Check your temperature at least two times a day Practice social distancing. If you need to go out, maintain at least 2m (6ft) distance from others) Watch out for other symptoms Covid-19 symptoms include fever, cough, difficulty breathing, and fatigue

6 Signs of a Positive Self Identity Cheryl Lacey Donovan

Do you find yourself wondering who you are? Do you feel at a loss sometimes when your opinions are put into question? We’re part of a society that plays a large role in how we see ourselves. Everything we see and hear in the media can sometimes make our self-esteem waver a bit. It has the power to transform the way we identify ourselves. We can no longer see the good and tend to focus more on the bad. Or worse, it can even make us question our core values and beliefs. Use these strategies to put an end to self-sabotage and claim your right to success: What is Identify Your identity is the total sum of your behavior, values, morals, and looks. There are three more important aspects of anyone’s identity. These include your language, your culture, and your religion. These provide you with a moral compass and help draw up an imaginary line between right and wrong.

Here are some aspects that help identify your uniqueness: Values and beliefs Interests Talents and skills Likes and dislikes Goals Is My Identity the Same as My Personality?

Sometimes, the internet influences our selfidentity. Hiding behind the screen makes it more accessible to pretend we’re other people. However, this type of behavior leads to severe negative consequences. To get out of that vacuum of self-doubt, we must consciously make the decision that we like who we are and how we look. That’s the beauty of having a positive self-identity. You don’t care what anyone thinks. Love yourself for who you are because there’s no one in the world like you.

Staying true to your feelings and beliefs no matter where you are in the world is what defines you. Your identity stays the same throughout the years.. On the other hand, your personality is how you behave. This changes according to the situation or circumstance you’re in You could be in a bad mood one day, hopeful the next. Another example of personality is how you behave around others. You don’t act the

same around your work colleagues the same as you do when you’re with your family or friends. Yet, even with all these changes in moods and behavior, our identity stays the same.

Remember, life is all about how much trust you have in your abilities. Like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t-you’re right.” Take a minute and think about it. 2. Plan Out a Purpose in Your Life

6 Signs of a Positive Self-Identity Here are six ways to reacquaint yourself with your identity in a healthy and positive way. 1. Recognize Strengths

Your

Weaknesses

and

The first step in having a positive selfidentity is to know where you excel. Maximizing your skills in your everyday life is how you shine as an individual. It’s also about knowing the areas where you don’t shine. Once you’ve come face-to-face with your weaknesses, you’ll have a choice to make. You can either trust in your ability to achieve a certain goal and overcome your weaknesses. The second choice is to accept that you’ll never be the world’s best pastry chef or computer programmer. That’s ok. You’re much better in other areas that a programmer, for example, would fail miserably at.

Setting out a plan for your life means you’re striving to have a sense of purpose. The best way is to combine both short-term and longterm goals. This plan should also include having a positive outlook on your future. This sense of hope will come in handy when you’re going through a difficult time in your life. 3. Form Meaningful Relationships A well-balanced sense of self is established when you form healthy relationships with various people in your life. It could be your colleagues, neighbors, or the cashier at your local grocery store. For one, it’s a great way to broaden your social circle. Plus, you gain certain skills, such as how to communicate effectively with others. It also teaches you how to resolve conflicts peacefully. 4. Take Part in Your Community Your perception of self is heightened when you’re part of a group, especially one with

similar interests. Joining a volunteer group is one way to start. You can help out at local retirement homes or animal shelters. Here are a handful of other ways to help around your community: Donate food, books, cleaning supplies

clothes,

linens,

Buy from local grocers and food markets Look for local music and arts festivals Support local sports teams 5.

Demonstrate Positive Values

Your values are what you prioritize in yourself and others. They also help you set up boundaries with the people in your life. Learning how to stand up for these values is a sign of a positive self-identity. Some of these values include: Honesty Responsibility Compassion Trustworthiness Integrity Empathy 6. Avoid Unhealthy Behavior We fall into certain bad habits that affect the way we see ourselves. These habits can range from how we see ourselves to things we do, like comparing ourselves to others. Some people turn to food, alcohol, and drugs to compensate for their low selfesteem. In all scenarios, the result is usually the same.

The following are some other unhealthy habits we need to avoid: Agreeing to what others want to make them happy Putting others’ needs before your own to feel more accepted Procrastinating Talking bad about yourself Dwelling on negative past experiences The Takeaway Developing a positive self-identity is hard. But it’s so worth it! When you acknowledge who you are and your view of the world, you become a strong individual. The good news is that people already see a part of your identity whether you want to or not. They know from your actions, responses, and looks a bit of who you are as an individual. So, trying to hide it or run away from it won’t do any good. Why not focus on the true identity within yourself, instead? Take pride in your accomplishments, no matter how small they are. What’s equally important is that you always pat yourself on the back. Encourage yourself to do a bit more the next day and try a bit harder the next time. If you don’t motivate yourself, no one else will! So, go out there and be the best you can be!

Leading a Healthy Lifestyle Good nutrition and physical activity are important parts of leading a healthy lifestyle. A balanced diet can help you to reach and maintain a healthy weight, reduce your risk of chronic diseases, and promote your overall health.

EXERCISE REGULARLY

DRINK LOTS OF WATER

EAT NUTRIENTRICH FOOD

REST AND REFRESH

Regular physical activity helps keep your brain healthy, helps you manage your weight, reduces disease, strengthens bones and muscles, and more. Getting at 30 minutes of exercise for 5 days a week can really boost your system.

Adults and children need to consume water everyday as it benefits overall health. With zero calories, it lubricates joints, helps get rid of waste, protects thhe spinal cord, and prevents dehydration.

A healthy diet not only helps you manage your weight, but also builds and strengthens your body. Focus on adding fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

Getting enough sleep and rechargnig your mind is also a good way to stay healthy. Meditation, breathing techniques, and a soothing sleep environment can add balance to your mental well-being and restore your body for another day.

ABILITY

IS WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF DOING

MOTIVATION DETERMINES WHAT YOU DO

ATTITUDE DETERMINES HOW WELL YOU DO IT

n n y L a n e e h te S e M

RESTOREHER

.I learned and grew in so many ways. I met people and began to develop business relationships that I still use today. Some of the closest people to me, I met there. Naturally when you are so focused on proving people wrong you tend to put yourself in a lot of unnecessary situations. Of course you began relationships that became toxic and a hindrance to your growth. I reached a point where I didn’t know how I would feed my kid. We were sleeping in my car and the only reason it wasn’t repossessed was because I lied about the address. I had to hold on to that car. To add insult to injury I found out that I was pregnant with my second daughter. The pregnancy took a toll on my body. So much so that it nearly killed me. I laid in a hospital bed for weeks with a machine breathing for me and my organs slowly shutting down. There were tubes in my throat because I had so much fluid in my lungs I was literally drowning. I had IV'S in EVERY vein in my body. I was losing so much blood and my blood refused to clot. I needed 12 rounds of platelets. I had so many blood transfusions I lost count. I remember faintly hearing the doctor tell my sister that she needed to get me to a trauma hospital.

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This hospital was almost an hour away. The doctor said I didn’t have an hour. My mom once told me that the doctor told her to bring in my daughter and close family because I wouldn’t make it through the night. I wasn’t able to hold my child who needed 45 mins of CPR in order to live .All of this created a very emotional and unhealthy mental state for me. Growing up as a black woman you are always told to keep going and be strong. So naturally that’s what I did. I took all my hurt, pain and trauma and put it deep down in my soul. I would walk around with a smile on face and so much pain in my heart. I had kids to take care of! So from modeling, promoting for clubs, I sold insurance , worked at a dealership., all of this, I did to make sure me and mines were going to be ok. I never forgot my dreams and my goals. That yearning to be my own boss was drastically influenced by losing jobs. I mean I was out here busting my behind for companies who didn’t care about me or my family. So I started to hustle. At that time it made more sense then depending on a company to make sure me and my kids were good. I Started doing makeup and selling lashes mainly because it was easy for me and it was what everyone else was doing to make money. However, the issue I ran into was if I’m not passionate about it will never produce anything. Naturally I went back to work in Corporate America. I had my third child and was in a stable relationship. I felt I was doing pretty good for myself so I continued. I was always so exhausted. I was so tired. It felt like I was making JUST ENOUGH to have to go back and I was miserable. My mental health, depression, and anxiety was at a all time high!!! I literally went to work and then laid in the bed for the rest of the day. If I didn’t have to work all I did was eat and sleep. I didn’t want to be around anyone. It was draining to be around others. So I stayed in my house. I took pain pills to make me numb. This lasted just over two years. However I knew something bigger was out there for me I knew I wanted to have my own. I thought I could start a boutique and sale women’s clothes. because again that’s what everyone else was doing.. Can you imagine how long that lasted.? A a crossroads, I started to do some research on our history. I had determined that if I was going to do anything at all, I wanted to do something that was meaningful. I decided instead of trying to make it into a lane I would create my own and that’s what I did.. I didn;t tell anyone about my brand, KEMET CO CLOTHING, for months. I knew the type of items I would sale because I loved hoodies and joggers. I felt that would be a true representation of me. Noevertheless, months and months passed where the idea was still an idea. . I had so many people around me trying to motivate me., but due to my mental state I just couldn’t get it together.

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This affected my relationship, it also took a toll on my children and their behavior. The day before I launched my line I laid in my bed in a dark room with a knife. It felt like my whole body was on fire. I sat in that bed crying and going back and forth with this idea that I had . I thought that if I took my life all my problems would be gone. I cried so long and so hard that night. I felt this was over I was done and out of here. I don’t know who was praying for me but it worked.I woke up the next morning and literally said “forget it” I’m going to push this and see what happens.That day Jan 10, 2020 I launched KEMET CO CLOTHING. See, the thing is I always knew I had it in me, I knew I was meant for something bigger. Life sometimes deals you blow after blow. So even if you want to get better, do better or be better you can’t seem to find a way out. That is the toughest part. I’m here to motivate and inspire. I now know that THIS is my purpose. I want to tell my story so that the next person knows it’s possible. If I can encourage one person not to give up., one person to say because of you I didn’t give up, my purpose is fulfilled!! Because at the end of the day I am a kid from DESIRE PROJECTS that had a dream. A DREAM FROM DESIRE. I didn’t create this line in rage or disappointment. I created it to be a tool for education. They say if you want to keep something from a black man all you have to do is put it in a book. The goal for my line is to create an open discussion between two people. Regardless of race. To break the rules and create your own. To know your history. To question what you thought you knew. So it is a reminder everyday that we are GREAT… we are POWERFUL…..With the climate today and all the things going on in the world, I wanted to produce something that will make you feel powerful. When you wear my brand it is your armor… your shield… WE ARE LEGENDARY!!!!

affirmation and self reflection

There are certainly some trying times that we go through in order to reach the other side of the rainbow. During these troubling times, I notice that if I focus on the pain and suffering, I continue to hurt and experience negative things. Therefore, instead of focusing on the negative, I choose to focus on what the positive outcome of this pain and suffering might be. I ask myself whether or not I can use this pain and suffering in some way. Is there a way that I can show others the good things that come from pain? Whether I am experiencing physical pain or emotional distress, can I learn from what I'm going through? Yes, I can take the issues I face and find the silver lining, regardless of how difficult it may be. I can find happiness within this suffering. I can draw strength from the inspiration of others who have experienced pain and suffering before me. Today, I choose positive thoughts about what joy might come out of this distress. Perhaps I can achieve new areas of personal growth. Maybe I can forge a stronger bond with my loved ones. Maybe I can even learn how to approach situations differently in ways that avoid much of the pain and suffering. Indeed, learning and growing through the pain is one sure way to experience joy and self-satisfaction.

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Self Reflection Questions WRITE A PERSONAL REFLECTION BASED ON THE PROMPT.

1. If I am honest with myself, are there lessons that I can learn in my suffering?

Self Reflection Questions WRITE A PERSONAL REFLECTION BASED ON THE PROMPT.

2. What are some lessons that I have learned about my own strength in past challenges?

Self Reflection Questions WRITE A PERSONAL REFLECTION BASED ON THE PROMPT.

3. Who are some others that have inspired me through their own suffering?

Make your trips go smoother and smarter with these fun and cool travel gears.

What is Emotional SelfControl? Chery; Lacey Donovan Having emotional control takes practice; it’s a skill that you have to work to develop. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Developing emotional control is an important part of human development, as well. In order to function as an adult in society, you have to have emotional intelligence and emotional control. Through this article, we’ll explore the topic of emotional control; what it is, how to strengthen it, and why you should bother. What is emotional control? The term “emotional control” is pretty selfexplanatory; it refers to the skill that can be practiced, strengthened, and developed over time to help you keep yourself from making decisions you might later regret in the heat of your emotions. Having a strong sense of emotional control requires emotional intelligence, strength, perseverance, and selfawareness. Emotional intelligence: Emotional intelligence refers to your awareness of the emotions you’re experiencing, the signs that indicate how you’re feeling, and how to handle them appropriately and healthfully. Your emotional intelligence will help you to identify the emotions and help you determine an appropriate response when you need to control your emotions.

Strength: To exhibit emotional control, you have to have both emotional and physical strength. You have to be able to have the emotional strength to calmly analyze the situation and what you’re feeling so you can determine the most appropriate reaction. You also have to have the strength to admit you’re wrong, if that’s what the situation calls for. Perseverance: It’s often hard to confront those who have upset us, especially when they aren’t receptive to what we’re saying; it requires perseverance to ensure you handle the situation in a healthy manner for you wherein your emotions are under control and in check. It also takes perseverance to admit there is the potential of a problem within yourself. Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is a crucial part to your emotional control; the two most important parts are emotional intelligence and self-awareness, though the other two play key roles as well. It requires self-awareness to identify there’s a problem to begin with, identify the emotion, and resolve the problem within yourself. How can you strengthen your emotional control? There are a number of ways in which you can strengthen your ability to control your emotions; it’s mostly done with practice

and training, like any skill. The first way you can work to strengthen them is by making a diligent and noble effort to recognize your emotions and feelings. If you don’t know your triggers or your warning signs for certain emotions, you won’t be able to control them. You can regularly practice by taking a minute to slow down and analyze your emotions when you start to notice yourself getting worked up in anyway. Pay attention to how long it takes for the emotions to escalate, what triggered them specifically, and what seems to help to calm you down. Another good way to practice strengthening your emotional control is clearly expressing your feelings to those around you when necessary. Make it a regular practice to clearly and calmly explain what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it in a way that won’t hurt anyone else but helps to resolve the issue in a healthy way. This will also help to keep you from just bottling up things that truly bother you. Emotional control is an important part of being a well-functioning adult in society. If you’re unsure if you have emotional self-control, you can ask yourself a few questions but to determine the true answer, you'll have to be honest with yourself. Do you often find yourself not expressing your emotions properly so that you have frequently feel overwhelmed? Do your friends frequently tell you to calm down or curb their behavior to preserve your feelings? Do you tend to overreact to situations? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to work on your emotional control.

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LEARN TO BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF Cheryl Lacey Donovan The last thing that you have to do in order to achieve optimum emotional balance is to learn how to be happy with yourself. Your emotions will never be put in their right places when you are not happy and satisfied in your own body. In this last chapter, you will learn some easy ways to embrace happiness within yourself. Did you ever find yourself standing in front of the mirror feeling hateful and resentful of yourself? Do you understand what it is like to be totally disgusted with yourself, feeling a longing for changes? There are times when you feel upset about something and you allow the circumstances and environment to dictate whether you will be happy or not. But the stark truth is that if you live your life with happiness and choose what you want to feel, happiness is easily possible.

Easy Steps to Your Own Happiness Happiness is something that you have to work for. Even in the middle of difficulties and struggles, you have to choose to be happy. It is not something that comes from having things or money for the truth is, happiness stems from within you and you alone. Being happy with yourself simply means that you have to show mercy to yourself, forgive yourself, befriend yourself, accept yourself, and last but not least, love yourself. It is a lifetime journey that calls for regular self-examination as well as a continuous process of making peace with yourself. It is all about discovering the things that make you unhappy and opting to live in true peace. This means that you treat yourself with kindness and compassion. This makes you start to enjoy your life even more. This helps you to live your life to the fullest, allowing you to make the whole world a much better place not only for you but also for others. However, learning to be happy with yourself might be among the trickiest challenges that you are going to face. For some people, such challenges can be too hard to handle, which is why they just let emotions rule their lives. There are also those who wish to conquer a challenge but do not have any idea how to do it.

If you want to be happy with yourself, here are some things that can help you out:

You have to forgive yourself for having negative thoughts. Forgive yourself for not thinking twice and for talking. Forgive yourself for showing rudeness to your superior, parents, friends and siblings. Never think negative thoughts about yourself for the wrong decisions or wrong steps you have made. It is a type of thinking that will put your focus on the issues and not on the solutions. It is best that you say good things regarding yourself instead of saying negative things. Say positive things to yourself because that is the first step in selfforgiveness. Don’t Talk and Think about Your Issues Try to focus instead on the good in all situations that you face and all people that you have relationships with, which includes yourself. Forgive Other People If you like to make peace with other people, forgive, forget and learn to let go of the things that happened in the past. Holding grudges and resenting is never good. To forgive someone easily, assume that they did no cause offense to you in the first place. Be Busy When you are busy, you will have less time to think about someone or something that causes you to have negative feelings. Getting your hands full will keep negative thoughts from triggering you over and over again Be a Blessing to Other People

Get your thoughts off yourself and instead, focus on being a blessing to those around you. Being a blessing to others results to more blessings coming back to you. This is an amazing phenomenon that not all people understand. Remember that life is not about receiving but more of giving. Develop a Hobby You can choose to spend your free time watching movies movies, reading, listening to music, or you could develop a hobby. This will help take your mind off the issues in your life and thoughts that you have concerning yourself.

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Self-Forgiveness

Don’t Lose Hope Remember that even the darkest tunnels have a light at the end. Hope is the one thing that you can never afford to lose and with this, you can take the path towards your happiness. This reminds you that things will be alright. With hope, you will be secure knowing that whatever looks terrible is just a temporary occurrence and soon enough, things are going to turn out fine. Be happy with yourself and soon enough, your emotions will be balanced out perfectly and success will be within easy reach.

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Accept Who You Are Never focus on things about yourself which you cannot control. Never strive to become someone else. Never care about what other people say or think about you when you are not even sure if they are wrong or right. Once you do this, you will be able to free yourself of anxiety and stress. Accept who you are, be contented and hope to become a much better you.

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WOMEN IN BUSINESS

HOMESCHOOL ADVICE Plan the day with your child Even if you're following a lesson plan, it's good to brainstorm with your child about their day ahead. Give them options. Ask them what they feel about doing tasks in certain ways. Give them time to adjust to the schedule.

Keep in touch with teachers Ask the teacher if you have to strictly follow the curriculum given, or if you have the freedom to adjust the schedule. Teachers can also give you tips on how to effectively faciliate your kids' learning. They can also get you in touch with other parents.

Some tips for teaching your kids at home

Involve the family Homeschooling involves integrating your child's educational schedule with your family's regular routine. Have a chat with your family and know what their expectations are with the home school setup—and what is expected of them.

Use free resources The school will provide the lessons, but you can also make use of other resources like worksheets available online to support or expand it. www.website.com www.website.com www.website.com

Take breaks

Be flexible

It's a simple advice - and you can't underestimate the power of breaks.

Learning from can be difficult, new, and frustrating.

Add it to your schedule and make it fun—or be spontaneous and flexible and take it when you can.

Facilitate your child's study schedule closely, but be flexible to change it up based on your child's learning tendencies and emotional state at the time.

5 Essential Tips for Managing Frustration

Written by

CHERYL LACEY DONOVAN

Not everyone knows how to manage frustration well. It’s not taught in schools (though it should be) and our parents weren’t always the best examples. Even if you’re among the fortunate few who grew up around people who never seemed frustrated, chances are we never learned how to channel our frustration into something positive or good. Managing frustration isn’t impossible. These five essential tips will help you keep your cool, even in the most frustrating of circumstances. Take a Step Back The smartest thing you should do when feeling frustrated is to take a step back. Breathe. Don’t react. Take a minute to distance yourself from the situation so you can ask what just happened and try to figure out an answer. By stepping outside of the situation, you can see things more objectively. Ask if there are pros or cons to this situation. Remind yourself if you’ve been here before, and you’ve gotten out of it unscathed. Even if this is new territory for you, chances are it wasn’t for someone else. Remind yourself you will survive this challenge. Embrace the Emotion – Then Let Go When you’re frustrated, you’re pulling a lot of emotion into a situation. Your first reaction might be to suppress these feelings. Rather than pushing down and trying to ignore them, identify what you’re feeling, then allow yourself to feel it before letting it go. That keeps emotions from controlling the situation.

Act When Calm When you think you’re outside the emotions and able to act rationally, do just that. You should make all decisions from your logical self, not the emotional one. The goal is to respond to a frustrating situation, not react. Identify What You Wanted in the First Place

Frustration tends to happen when you’re not getting something you want. What triggered this frustration? Was this a want or a need? If it’s a want, is it practical or reasonable? Or is this something you need to let go? Make a Choice In the end, frustration only leaves you with two choices: accept the status quo, even If it’s painful, or change the situation to ease the frustration. Decide which it’s going to be. If you’re going with the status quo, you have to accept the frustration as being part of this decision and learn to live with it or let it go. Managing frustration isn’t hard so long as you can stay out of the emotions of the moment. Keep a handle on yourself and take the time to think things through. Then act as needed.

IS KINDNESS THE KEY TO L O V E Adrian T. Cheng How do you find love? While there are many reasons people are attracted to each other, attraction alone is not love. You might notice someone because you think they are handsome or pretty, they are smart, or they seem sociable and friendly. How does that attraction become and stay love? Science says the key to love is the kindness partners show to one another. Building Strong Relationships According to Psychology Today, the most important factor in predicting satisfaction and stability in a marriage is kindness. To move beyond attraction, partners need to be kind to each other. Even if you are attracted to the way someone looks, if they are mean to you, you won’t feel love toward them. Initial attraction starts a connection, and kindness builds that connection into love. Kindness makes us feel good. Receiving kindness is crucial to feeling cared for, understood, and loved. Showing kindness shares those feelings with another person. Repeated kindness, both given and received, is the basis for a loving relationship.

Couples who are kind to each other learn to trust that their partner cares for them and will be there to help and support them. Families who are kind to each other create a haven for love and acceptance. Friends maintain their relationship by being kind to each other, and they often love each other like family. Kindness is the basis for every one of these loving relationships. Kindness Habits for Love Renowned psychologist John Gottman studied couples for years to determine how they stay in love. He found that loving couples practice certain habits that strengthen their relationships. These habits include: • Staying calm • Turning toward your partner • Understanding the intention • Sharing joy

Photograph: Delish.com

Understanding the Intention Everyone has reasons for the things they do. Understanding those reasons or intentions is a part of kindness and love. When your partner is late for dinner, is it because they don’t care or because they stayed at work to earn extra money for a gift for you? If your partner leaves their clothes on the chair, do they do it to annoy you or because they are busy doing something else to make your day better? Understanding the intention behind an action, instead of assuming the worst, is a way to treat your partner with kindness. Loving couples work together and realize that they may not always do things or see things the same way. Instead of taking offense, their love is stronger when they are kind. They understand that their partner has reasons for doing what they do, and those reasons aren’t to make them upset. Sharing Joy Many couples face trying times together. While working through difficulty can bring people closer, sharing joy is an equally important part of love. Couples need to share happy times too and have those experiences to reflect on in their lives together. Kindness brings and acknowledges joy in a person’s life. Sharing kindness and joy helps couples love each other. Joy is a positive emotion that needs to be part of a loving relationship. Love comes from kindness and grows because of kindness habits. A loving relationship needs kindness from both people to be healthy. Finding love is more than attraction and is based on the kindness shown by each partner.

The extension of women’s right is the basic principle of all social rogress. progress. - CHARLES FOURIER

Women's Right Awareness 2020 www.womensociety.com

V E

Y O U R

L I F E

SAY YES TO HEALTHY #INSPIRATION

SAY YES TO NEW ADVENTURES - ESCAPE THE ORDINARY -

STOP THINKING ABOUT THE

BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT THE

HIT LIKE A GIRL

What's Your Mood?

Artists often paint how they feel. They use bright colors when they feel happy or excited. Some use thick, heavy lines for when they're sad or angry. create your own mood portrait below. Use different lines, colors, and shapes and decorate the head to express how you feel.

Husband and Wife DuoDavid and Tiffany SpencerEncourage Unity Through Optimistic Battle Cry "We Are One" David and Tiffany Spencer are a dynamic couple who are married under the bond of God's love and are dedicated to music and ministry. David and Tiffany were high school sweethearts who met during choir rehearsal. Their love of music brought them together David had the beats, and Tiffany had the harmonies. Together they developed chemistry and birthed a sound unique to their special bond. David and Tiffany launched their Gospel music career and have built it as an opportunity to put their love for each other, music, and love for God on full display. They released their debut album ONE TOUCH in 2019. Their indie album laid the foundation for the couple's career and garnered them a 2020 Kingdom Image Award Best Album of the Year and a 2020 Rhythm of Gospel Award for Best Packaging. David and Tiffany recently released their newest single "We Are One” with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s. dream in mind, that we can get to the promised land united as one! "We Are One" is an up-tempo, optimistic battle cry and reminder that we should continue to labor together until we realize and walk together in Dr. King's dream. "I hope listeners really embrace this message," Tiffany shares. "Our goal is to help people move past divisiveness by singing along with us - We Are One."

"David and Tiffany's single is dope!" says Gospel artist Earnest Pugh. "I love the lyric content and the message in light of such racial divide in our country. Right now this song is very relevant." "I love David and Tiffany's new single!" Stellar Award-nominated Gospel artist Kim Person shares. "There is nothing but good vibes and blessings on blessings that come from this song!" As this beautiful and gifted duo harmonizes in music and life together, David and Tiffany also decided to release a special song just in time for Valentine's day - "Only You".

"I wrote Only You to remind couples to never become too familiar with their spouse," David explains. "There was a reason why you fell in love in the first place. Continue to revisit that reason so that you never forget it. I want couples to hear this song and want to hold their spouses. Only You should also give singles something to aspire to have - real love is fun and still exists. " The inspiring "We Are One" and passionate "Only You" singles are available now on all digital music outlets. You can find out more about David, who is the Minister of Music at Macedonia Missionary Baptist Church in Bennettsville, SC, and Tiffany, who is a music educator at a middle school in North Carolina by following them on their social media pages. David and Tiffany's goal is to show the world that marriage can work if you work at it and that unity can prevail if we make the effort to cohesively live with and love one another. "God trusts us to tell our story and to share our journey," says David and Tiffany. Their story is the balance of family, work, music and ministry, and marriage, and the love and blessings that flow within it and from it. Follow @thesoundofdavid Booking: ts_dynamic@yahoo.comMedia Inquiries: Benita@TheBellamyGroup.com DavidandTiffanySpencer.com

SOULFUL SINGER PATRICK DOPSON SET TO RELEASE POWERFUL NEW SINGLE "MAKE IT ALRIGHT" FEATURING JOHN P. KEE ON FEBRUARY 5. Dallas, TX -- Soulful singer and songwriter Patrick Dopson is a Dove Award-nominated artist and a Stellar Award-winning creative whose Billboard Chart-topping Gospel hits include "God Is" and "God Is Able". After a few years away from recording and plowing through the unprecedented changes and challenges of last year, Dopson continues to push his anointed and poignant pen to craft healing and hope-filled music to inspire the world. “Over the last year, like many, I found myself writing from my own experiences and struggles with the multiple pandemics we’ve faced," Dopson shares. "Covid-19, the political and church divide, depression, isolation, loss, indifference, and fear have all come to undo our Peace. We all have sensed the ebbs and flows stemming from the challenges of 2020. When inundated with it all, it’s easy to forget the One orchestrating it all for our good and that His promises still stand true.” The world continues to seek peace and understanding amidst many social challenges. Dopson responds with his signature warm vocals on a powerful new single "Make It Alright" .Dopson explains, “I began writing this song on a Sunday afternoon, a day that we would typically be in church. I began to feel the encouragement of the Holy Spirit to assure me that God would make it alright. He reminded me of a scripture that I’ve quoted many times: He will perfect that which concerns me, Psalms 138:8. At that moment that was all I needed. The rest began to pour out. I laughed at myself because I sat at my piano and everything started to come out real churchy. I knew then that I wanted others to be encouraged by it, and I wanted to have a legendary voice of the church to join me on this record.”

"Make It Alright" is written by Dopson and Kevin Camp (Israel & New Breed, Smokie Norful, Regina Belle, Donnie McClurkin). Dopson invited Gospel music legend Pastor John P. Kee to join him on the new single. “I’m very ecstatic about this release," says Dopson. "I’m thankful to have my friend Kevin Camp working with me. He does an outstanding job in interpreting my heart with the music. We’re really hoping to encourage people right now, right where they are.” "Make It Alright" is available for pre-order on iTunes and Amazon Music now. The single will release on all digital music outlets on February 5. "Make It Alright" is also impacting Gospel radio now across the country

Booking Contact: Dave Hammond, booking@oilonit.com 571.482.0019 Radio Contact: Jerry Smith | jsmith03radio@gmail.com | 919-395-4905

DO YOU HAVE EMOTIONAL CONTROL Emotional

control

important part of life. In order to be a functioning adult in society, you have to exhibit some

level

emotional

control. Controlling emotions is an important part of life and functioning in all areas of society: romantic, professional, and familial. There are a few ways to determine if you have your emotions

under

However,

control. order

legitimately determine this, you 73

have to be completely honest with yourself in answering these questions. Through this article, we’ll explore how you can determine if you have emotional control. Do you hold back expressing your emotions? The first question you should ask yourself when determining if you have control over your emotions is whether or not you express your emotions properly. If you bottle up your emotions, rather than expressing them, you can cause yourself to boil over.

Another way to identify if this is your problem is to see if you have a tendency to feel overwhelmed by your emotions; if you don’t express them properly, they’ll build up and by the time you notice them, you’re feeling overwhelmed, as if you can’t take anymore. This is a condition we call “emotional overload.” You should properly express your emotions in a healthy way, rather than letting them fester and boil.

RESTOREHER

Do your friends frequently tell you to calm down or curb their behavior to preserve your feelings?

Do you have a tendency to overreact to situations?

It’s rare that, when self-reflection is the task at hand, you are asked to look at those around you but the way your friends act around you could be a helpful signifier. If your friends act like they’re always walking on eggshells around you or babysitting your feelings, you might have a tendency to just exist in emotional overload, where any tiny thing can push you over the edge. You need to openly express your emotions in a healthy way as you experience them, so you can resolve any potential problem in an appropriate and healthy manner and you should allow your friends the same courtesy.

How others are treating you could be an important signifier of your own behavior. Observe the way your friends and loved ones treat you on a regular basis; think about how they’ve told you bad news in the past or how they’ve handled situations that might upset you. 74

If your go-to response is often an overreaction, you might be existing in a state of emotional overload. As we said before, being in emotional overload puts you in a position of every emotion being all or nothing. Imagine your emotions are a cup of water; the cup is already almost overflowing and every time something goes wrong, adding more water to the already full cup, it overflows a little. How this looks in reality is that you have big, blown out responses to normal situation and then it dissipates as quickly as it came. If you find that you’re always overreacting to situations, you should work on your emotional control. Emotional control is an important part of being a functional adult. You have to have some level of emotional control to .

succeed in your career, with your friendships, and with your relationships. Emotional control doesn’t happen overnight, however, it’s a skill that you have to work at and practice in order to develop it There are a number of ways to determine if you are in control of your emotions, but the most accurate way is honest personal reflection. Ask yourself the questions listed above and be honest with yourself about the answers. You have to be objective when observing yourself; you’re hurting no one more than yourself by denying your level of emotional control.

Beauty is power.

A smile is its sword. - JOHN RAY

Singlehood is my choice

Elissa GAbrielle NAturals

Give your hair some love

You are lovely

HAPPY VALENTINE'S

Why Leaders Must UNIFY Others? Richard Brody

Since, there are so may aspects, involved, in

1. Urge; urgent; useful; unity/ united; usual/

effective

associated,

unusual; utmost: Great leaders must be ready,

understandable,

willing, and able, to urge others, to be united, in

leadership,

responsibilities,

etc,

some,

certain,

neglect,

and is

key

components/

their quest, for the greater good! They must

aspects, etc! After, over four decades of

consider carefully, and, prioritize urgent issues,

involvement, in nearly, all areas of leading,

and provide useful leadership, and direction! It

from identifying and qualifying, to training, developing, and consulting to thousands of actual, and/ or, potential leaders, as well as being

leader,

myself,

for

various

organizations, I have come to believe, one of the most important of these requirements, may be, they must UNIFY their group, as well as all stakeholders (existing, past, and potential ones), in order to benefit the common good, by inspiring and motivating others, to reach a meeting - of - the - minds! With that in mind,

takes the ability to handle, both, the usual, as well as unusual challenges, and, to always, proceed, forward, with the intention, of offering their utmost efforts! 2. Needs; nerve; nuances; niche: A true leaders, proactively, addresses the needs of his group, and stakeholders, and has the inner strength, and nerve, to take decisive actions, in a well considered, relevant way! He must, also,

this article will attempt to, briefly, consider,

address, both, the group's specific nuances,

examine,

and realize/ recognize the niche, the specific

review,

and

discuss,

using

the

mnemonic approach, what this means, and

group, fits - into!

represents, and why it matters.

3. Ideas; inspire; integrity; informs;

80 RESTOREHER

innovate; imagine: Will you be able, to imagine the needs, etc, in a relevant, sustainable manner, and bring forth, ideas, which, might inspire your constituents, to greater caring, and personal involvement? Remember, you must maintain absolute integrity, or why should anyone, trust you, and, thus, follow? Great leaders inform others, with clarity, of reality, relevant, and sustainable possibilities, options, and alternatives! 4. Face facts; future; furnish; fruition: It's essential to face the facts, and consider, ramifications, of every action taken (or avoided), in terms of the future sustainability of the group! A great leader will furnish meaningful leadership, ideas, and a strategic, and action plan, and take these, to fruition!5. Yes; you/ your: One must be willing, to say, yes, to taking the best steps, forward, and accepting, you have personal responsibility, to demand your utmost degree of personal excellence, instead of good enough!Are you willing, to proactively, UNIFY others, for the greater good? Do you have, what it takes, to be a real leader? Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10395113

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN POTENTIAL? ? What is your potential?

While we all have dreams and aspirations, few of us are fully aware of our own potential. It can be hard to see the truly good and admirable traits in ourselves, just like it is our faults. However, believing in your own potential is a crucial part of developing your self-confidence. In order to achieve all, you’re capable of, you have to believe in the potential you have. It can help you to try new things, challenge yourself, and take risks that could all lead to success. We’ve come up with a few ways you can determine if you believe in your potential. Spend Time in Self-Reflection

? What do you want to achieve? ? Do you truly believe you can achieve it? ? What can you do with this potential? Focusing on these things and answering these questions will help you to identify your potential and believe in it more strongly. Write Down What You See As Your Full Potential Now that you’ve had time to reflect on what your potential is, you can list the qualities and skills that entails. This will help you affirm what your potential is and your belief in it. Study this list and keep it with you, being sure to look at it whenever you feel yourself doubting your potential. This will help you keep your potential in the forefront of your mind and helping you to truly believe in your

The first way to determine if you believe in your own potential is to spend time in selfreflection. Ask yourself what you are capable of; what are your strengths and admirable qualities. This time spent determining your potential is valuable to who you are as a person and achieving your full potential. During this time, try to focus on the following:

potential. Prove Your Potential to Yourself For some to truly believe in something, they need to see it. This even extends to what they believe about themselves. A great way to truly believe in your potential is to prove to yourself you have it. Act on it; challenge yourself by pushing the limits of your potential.

This challenge can be career-, hobby-, or relationship-oriented, so long as it challenges you and forces you to showcase your full potential. Once you’ve achieved the goal you set for yourself and fully showcased your potential, you’ll not only have a well-earned sense of accomplishment and confidence, but you’ll also fully believe in your potential without doubts. Surround Yourself with People that Believe in Your Potential We all like to think we don’t let others affect us, but the reality is that the people around us, especially those close to you, do have an effect on us and our emotions. If those close to you doubt your potential, you’re likely to do the same. You don’t need that negative influence in your life. Instead, surround yourself with people that believe in your potential and encourage you to achieve all you can. Their positive influence will provide you with encouragement and help you to see and believe in your potential. We all have a river of potential inside us, but few people truly recognize and believe in that potential. Believing in your own potential is an essential part of your confidence and success. If you believe you are capable of accomplishing something, you’re far more likely to actually accomplish it. However, believing in your own potential may not come as easily for you as it does for others. It’s often something we have to work on and prove to ourselves before we believe it. We hope we’ve helped you to see and believe in your potential. 83