March/April 2018
MEN OF FAITH Real Life Real Faith
UNDERSTANDING SPIRITUALITY VS. RELIGION IN LEADERSHIP ROLES
THE EPIDEMIC OF SHORTAGE OF MEN IN THE CHURCH
DR. DARIUS OMAR WILLIAMS
EMPOWERING YOU TO EMPOWER YOURSELF
THE CHOCOLATIER CHEF
TONY'S
SPECIALTY Â IS
NEW
RESTAURAN
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Understanding Spirituality vs. Religion in Leadership Roles Alvin C. Romer delves into the differences between Spirituality and religion as it pertains to leadership
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Dr. Darius Omar Williams Join the conversation as Hurley Morgan speaks with Dr. Darius Omar Williams, Associate Professor and Director of the BFA Professional Theatre Training Program
· North Carolina A&T
State University
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THE EPIDEMIC OF SHORTAGE OF MEN IN THE CHURCH Why are there so few men in the church? Teddy A. Jones explores this phenomenon in an in-depth expose' on the shortage of men in the church.
MARCH ISSUE 2018
REAL LIFE REAL FAITH
Men of Faith
Editor in Chief Cheryl Lacey Donovan Publisher Elissa Gabrielle Senior Editors Hurley Morgan Cee Cee H. Caldwell Columnists Alvin C. Romer, Leroy McKeknzie, Jr. Hurley Morgan Contributors Hurley Morgan, Richard Brody, Anastasia Kanli, Teddy A Jones Designer Cheryl Lacey Donovan
EDITORIAL OFFICES P.O. Box 450121 Houston, Texas 77245 832-827-4438
SUBSCRIPTIONS (832) 827-4438
. realliferealfaithmagazine.net
march madness
Ask yourself what's the worse than can happen
COCOA A P R
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• A SWEET EATS MAGAZINE •
THE CHOCOLATIER CHEF
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Editor's Note HURLEY MORGAN
Words from the Senior Managing Editor… Greetings, We are steadily springing through 2018. Speaking of spring…spring is in the air! Spring is the time of the year where things that once appeared absent of life becomes vibrant and life enriched. When you think of spring words such as vividness, rejuvenation, enrichment, growth, newness, and encouragement, to name a few, may come in mind. That is what we seek for not only this issue…but also every issue of MOF. We want to provide vivid articles that rejuvenate the mind while enriching the soul. We want to encourage you to desire to grow and go out in the world to help others grow! We are pleased and honored to feature in this issue Dr. Darius Omar Williams, Associate Professor of Theatre, Director, Actor, Author, & Playwright. Brazilian writer, Augusto Boal, once said “Theatre is a form of knowledge; it should and also could be a means of transforming society. Theatre can help us build our future, rather than just waiting for it.” Dr. Darius Omar Williams’ awesome interview not only gives us an up and close look at this distinguished gentleman’s many accomplishments in theatre, but also shows us how true to heart the above quote is for Dr. Darius Omar Williams. Check out his awesome and very encouraging interview and see how he is able to continue to do so much in the world of theatre and do it well. Also…continue to be entertained and educated by the writings of the contributing brothers of Men of Faith. These brothers all work diligently at bringing to you a taste of “spring” within the words expressed through their contributions. The conscious brothers that grace the pages of this magazine seek to plant within the minds of each one of you seeds that are springtime worthy that are intended to sprout, leaving you full from the harvest of knowledge. We seek to cultivate minds with insightful and entertaining knowledge that is meant to help someone in need of food for thought. We continue to strive through our articles to educate, uplift, motivate, inspire, and create a magazine by men for men. With this magazine, our mission continues to be to address many topics that men not only want to hear but also need to hear. With that being said… Happy Reading & Much Love! Hurley Morgan Senior Managing Editor
UNDERSTANDING SPIRITUALITY VS. RELIGION IN LEADERSHIP ROLES Alvin C. Romer
In the real world we are all on pathways toward spiritual maturity, and as Leaders, it’s not always an easy row to hoe. I was asked recently “what the difference between being spiritual as opposed to religious affiliation in a leadership role.” I rendered a pregnant pause because my station in life as a Deacon and Elder warranted a response for clarity. Without giving a dissertation, I attempted to make it brief, but after a while, I knew that I had to go as deep as I could so that my explanation would resonate with reasonable resolution. Trying to explain the former and the latter can be daunting at best, but I had to do it right, lest there be yet, another confused but uninformed individual. Looking at all angles, I surmise that the spiritual defines and considers what is positive in a given situation alongside what is unsatisfactory before advocating change. It gives individuals autonomy over his or her interpretation of the soul, whereas religion has implications on participatory energy in communal practices of divine belief and worship, as in denominational affiliation. This is my own definition as I will give reasons why the leadership aspect shouldn’t be dismissed in all things, Divine. As such, I feel that the spiritual dimension of our lives is where the deeply personal mindset meets the universal innate perspective. Spirituality forces you to be a bit profound. Spirituality, as I mentioned earlier is deep-seated and personally aligned with mental well-being depending markedly on feelings that we each have in that special
place in the universe with a unique contribution as a benefit to other folks. More often than not, most people have a choice about religion and spirituality. They are separate, but definitely not equal. It’s about conforming more or less rigidly to an accepted teaching or to think and act independently. Of course, there are problematic issues often resolving spontaneously if there’s no set of true values. I can honestly say adamantly that spirituality has quite a bit to do with ‘thus sayeth the Lord’ principles. Can I say the same for being religious? Albeit, how would it affect leadership? I’m always in awe of the differences among the major religions of the world, and how the deal with the aspects of inspirational value and transformative insight in knowing the difference in how to maintain righteousness. It was becoming clear as the person and I talked that he felt vindicated and convicted that the religious order took precedence over the spiritual realm. Moreover, he felt that religion itself was supreme in how people worshipped while understanding the importance (in his way of thinking) of the presence of a superhuman controlling power. Although at points in our discussion I made reference to the fact that indeed, the two are not at odds with each other, and have areas of historic and doctrinal overlapping. My main concern was how he ascertained the necessary application in a leadership role. I didn’t disagree when he kept opinioning that religion requires structure, where it typically has set
creeds and teachings, and where leadership, as well as the spiritual arena, are parallel to each other. In closing, I’m at peace with myself after setting my course straight while agreeing to disagree on certain points of contention we espoused. My leadership acumen wasn’t to be compromised. I think about the perpetual chaos emanating from the White House as barriers to our walk with Christ is being challenged by President Trump without the personal wherewithal to lead without institutional racism. My whole resolve centers around my interpretive value in being spiritual as opposed to being religious as a personal self-journey that connects me with a much deeper meaning; without the often complicated boundaries that contrived religion brings. Here’s hoping that when someone tells you that they are religious, that you don’t hesitate to give reference to being ‘spiritual’, especially if you’re a Leader!
Williams
DR. DARIUS OMAR .
MOF: We are so thrilled to have you
MOF: It seems that theater has been
Brother Darius. We see that you are
what you were called to do based on
MOF: When did you first realize that
an Aggie. So that means that you
your impressive bio. What was it that
theater was what you wanted to do?
know about the GHOE. Tell us what
drew you to theater? Brother Darius Omar Williams:
that experience is like being a part of Brother Darius Omar Williams: I
Starting around age 7, every
started in the church. I was born and
Christmas I would produce, write and
Brother Darius Omar Williams: Yes I
raised in Mississippi in the 1970’s and
direct a Christmas play using my
am honored to serve in the capacity
from around the age of about five
younger siblings as cast members
of Associate Professor, Director of
years old, in spite of the hyper-
and subsequently present these mini-
the Theatre Arts Program and
invisibility I endured, I always found
productions to the family on
Executive Director of the Paul
myself tapping into a creative energy,
Christmas. From that moment on I
Robeson Theatre. What an honor and
a spiritual beyond myself. There was
never stopped. At age 13, I met my
responsibility I do not take lightly by
always this urge for me, especially as
drama teacher Miss Vicki Little
any means. When I arrived to
I listened to the stories of my mother,
Waters, a young hippie beautiful and
Greensboro in 2016, shortly after
father, grandparents, aunt and uncle:
precocious white woman from
officially accepting my offer from this
I felt a responsibility early on to give
Clinton, MS. She took me under her
distinguished land grant research
voice to a history and narratives
wings in preparation for my first
based institution, there was no way I
unique to my experience in
Dramatic Forensics competition in
could not bear witness to and
Mississippi otherwise untold. I will
the state and the rest is history. In
ultimately experience the rich cultural
forget visiting my grandparents every
sum, I went from performing plays in
history of #AGGIEPRIDE which has
Saturday afternoon and as I sifted
the intimacy of home, then within the
permeated the campus community,
through a huge stack of vintage JET
church community, high school and
surrounding communities and even
magazines (cause I was always
subsequently college, grad school
has transcended local Greensboro
getting into things) I ran across a
and eventually professionally as a
with such urgency that #AGGIEPRIDE
1955 issue that covered the brutal
member of Actor’s Equity Association.
has literally transformed itself into a
murder 14 year old Emmett Till. Upon
I feel fortunate and blessed that
collective global culture unmatched
questioning my mother and Uncle,
once I found my niche I never
by many defining institutional
they began to engage into a
stopped.
traditions and continues to hold great
discussion about Emmett Till and his
promise for the life line, sustainment
subsequent brutal murder. From that
MOF: You are doing so much as it
and forward movement of North
moment on, I began to read James
pertains to theater and
Carolina Agricultural and Technical
Baldwin, Toni Morrison, and Alice
accomplishing some great things. If
State University. Recently, A&T has
Walker, any piece of African Drama
you had to pick an accomplishment
remodel the staple of #AGGIEPRIDE
or literature I could get my hands on.
that stands out the most which would
with the more contemporary mantra
Shortly afterwards I started writing
you pick and why?
of #AGGIESDO which speaks
and performing original poems and
specifically to the actualization of
plays. I am grateful for the
Brother Darius Omar Williams: One of
#AGGIEPRIDE through the necessary
professional mentors who guided me
the most recent accomplishments
mobility of action which truly
along this divine path I am blessed to
that stands out for me is directing
ennobles the promise of pride
traverse including Dr. Billie Jean
Tarell Alvin McCraney’s lyrical drama
whether it be through teaching,
Young, Akin Babatunde. There were
In the Red and Brown Water on the
scholarship, community engagement,
also innumerable inspirational figures
main stage of Paul Robeson Theater
service to the institution: the ultimate
and cultural icons who because of
at NC A&T SU, the production was
goal is for us to collectively strive to
their work and service to the industry
subsequently chosen for official
be good citizens and stewards of NC
I was constantly evinced by their
selection in the 2017 National Black
A&T SU and these effort TO DO must
invaluable contributions to poetry,
Theater Festival in Winston Salem,
be consistent and purposeful. This is
music, theater, television and film
NC. This afforded me to garner
the only way pride can be sustained
including but not limited to: Ossie
international visibility for myself and
and preserved regardless of
Davis, Ruby Dee, Beah Richards,
for the B.F.A. professional theater
institution: through doing and being.
Sidney Poitier, Louis Gossett, Jr.,
training program. The student
The branding of #AGGIESFO is a call
Sonia Sanchez, Nikki Giovanni, Maya
enjoyed a successful four production
to action ennobled by the doers,
Angelou, Barbara Ann Teer, Ernie
run and was able to interface with
believers and seekers of excellence
McClintock, Clinton Turner Davis,
notable and respected figures in the
that is most certainly interdisciplinary
Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, Aretha
industry. In the Fall of 2017, we also
across various fields and respective
Franklin and the list goes on and on.
produced the World Premiere of my
such a prideful culture…#AggiePride
disciplines.
new play Mississippi Born and Bred
(in which I also produced and directed) starring guest artist Awardwinning New York film, stage, television professional actress Johnnie Mae Allen. Subsequently, I recently received two meritorious awards for Excellence in Direction from The Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival Region 4 for both my direction of In the Red and Brown Water and Mississippi Born and Bred.
MOF: Who or what has been your biggest inspiration in life? What drives you to do what you do?
Brother Darius Omar Williams: I am grateful for the professional mentors who guided me along this divine path I am blessed to traverse including Dr. Billie Jean Young, Akin Babatunde. There were also innumerable inspirational figures and cultural icons who because of their work and service to the industry I was constantly evinced by their invaluable contributions to poetry, music, theater, television and film including but not limited to: Ossie Davis, Ruby Dee, Beah Richards, Sidney Poitier, Louis Gossett, Jr., Sonia Sanchez, Nikki Giovanni, Maya Angelou, Barbara Ann Teer, Ernie McClintock, Clinton Turner Davis, Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin and the list goes on and on. There are countless untold narratives across the African Diaspora that has yet to be told. I continue and am inspired to keep doing what I do because I want to give a voice to the lost, discarded, marginalized and forgotten ancestral memories of African descended people. As a playwright, as a director, as a poet, as an acting teacher coach, as an indigenous African spiritual being, I have barely scratched the surface as far as continuing to unfold, unpack and illuminate countless histories using both traditional and untraditional dramatic frameworks. I am a part of a continuum of voices that will continue to tell stories, perform stories and direct stories that speak to how infinitely great we are and how terribly beautiful we are as human people.
MOF: What is the biggest challenge
MOF: Are there any projects that you
that you are faced with as it pertains
are currently working on? What do
to teaching, directing, acting, writing,
you have on the horizon? Any future
or being a playwright? Is there any
projects that you would like to talk
one of these that are more
about?
challenging than the others? Brother Darius Omar Williams: I am in Brother Darius Omar Williams: The
the process of collaborating with a
biggest challenge I face is
colleague of mine John Jennings on
colonialism and how subversively the
an illustrative Afro-futuristic comic
Western hemisphere has stripped the
book series entitled Box of Bones. I
indigenous African person of
am also presently revising my play
traditional spiritual practices, value
Mississippi Born and Bred for
systems, cultural mores, languages
subsequent publication and have
and rituals that should be a part of
been in conversation with a few
the African /African American
regional professional theatres with
Theatrical framework/continuum just
the aim of having my play produced
as much mainstream culture insists
by 2019. I am almost done revising my
and persists with its unique emblems
debut novel Blue Light ‘Til Dawn and
and motifs. My efforts to confront the
am gearing up as we speak to begin
West as the gatekeeper of the
writing my fourth play Iyami.
American Theater landscape have been the most daunting challenge of
MOF: It seems that you are quite a
my professional career. There are
busy man. Outside of being a
specific tools, skills and acting
distinguished professor, acting,
techniques that speak specifically to
writing, and your incredible work as a
the primordial rich history of African
playwright what else can we find you
descended people and quite frankly I
doing? Any hobbies?
often experience push back on many fronts in my artistic attempts to
Brother Darius Omar Williams: I love
transform audiences with other
nature, taking walks in nature, being
consciousnesses that are far removed
connected to the earth, God, my
from Westernized mainstream
ancestors and Sprit (this is not a
streams of theatrical consciousness.
hobby, it’s my way of life). Old school R&B fills me with joy and makes me
MOF: Out of these, being a
move. I love to travel when I am able
professor, being a director, being an
to find time to do so. Lately I have
actor, being an author, or being a
been enjoying quality when I am not
playwright, which one do you find
working with my four furry friends: my
more pleasure in doing?
two cats (Kokumo and Blessed) and my two dogs (Sunny and Ayokunle)
Brother Darius Omar Williams: All. They are all interchangeable and I
MOF: As you see the title of the
could not do one without the other.
magazine is Men of Faith Magazine.
Because I refuse to be pigeon holed
Being that there are some pretty
or boxed or even tasked to choose
discouraging events going on in
one over the other. My work as an
society today and with all the
actor is relevant to my work as a
challenges that men face, especially
director because we are always in
men of color, what words of advice
conversation. In different ways. One
can you give any man that may be
cannot escape the other. As my work
going through something in their life
in all of these capacities
right now? How do you manage when
interconnect, they interpenetrate one
the going gets tough for you?
another and are always in discourse. Being whomever and whatever in this
Brother Darius Omar Williams: I would
thing called art is not fixed nor is it
encourage any man faced by an
monolithic. If anything it is
obstacle or challenge to first and
foremost yield to Spirit. Cause without a conscious connection to Spirit it is impossible for us to overcome the trauma we often face in the world. So yes, I would simply say become rooted and consistent in a spirit that is going to sustain you, propel you forward while also providing the necessary tools and skills to help us all navigate through the unexpected obstacles that confront us daily. Be of service to God, yourself, your ancestors, your family and the community at large. The key word is service. This requires humility and a tremendous amount truth searching as we all seek to get to the core of the who, what and how of who we were truly meant to be and accomplish on this earth. It’s called divine destiny. And for me, you can’t even begin the path of divine destiny until you recognize and strip away every element of your being that is of no service to you. Alice Walker calls this process: “stripping bark from myself”. Unless one knows who they are, and is willing to be still in order to find out, these challenges you speak of can never be overcome.
MOF: We would love to be able to keep up with you in order to show support. Tell the readers how they can keep up with what’s going on with you? What are dates, show times, and locations of your current productions?
Brother Darius Omar Williams: This summer, as Founding Artistic Director of the Mississippi Black Theatre Festival, Inc., I will be producing the 2nd Annual Mississippi Black Theatre Festival: Higher Ground in collaboration with cultural-historical institutions in Mississippi. Dates are yet to be determined. Meanwhile, interested patrons can catch the Theatre Arts Program and Paul Robeson Theatre’s final 20172018 mainstage production of award-winning playwright’s Dominique Morisseau’s DETROIT ’67 directed by my theatre colleague Miller Lucky, Jr. The production runs Thursday April 12, 2018 @7:30pm – pay what you can night, Friday, April 13, 2018 @7:30pm, Saturday, April 14, 2018 @7:30pm, Sunday, April 15, @3:00pm, Thursday April 19, 2018 @7:30pm, Friday, April 20, 2018 @7:30pm, Saturday, April 21, 2018 @7:30pm and Sunday, April 22, 2018, @3: 00 pm
NOMADIC
|
24
leadership feature
Why Quality Leaders Put Themselves in Others' Place RICHARD BRODY
One of the most significant, and
conceived, leadership planning, their
5. Empathy; energy; emphasis: Only
often, most challenging, to overcome,
plans must emphasize relevant
when one focuses on effectively
challenges/ obstacles of effectively
service and direction!
listening, and truly learning, from
leading, is, to recognize and realize,
every conversation, and experience,
one's constituents, neither, have the
2. Listen; learn; leadership:
and genuinely cares about his
level of understanding, nor
Perceptive leadership requires the
constituents (and their needs), is the
commitment, which quality leaders
commitment to consistently listen
emphasis placed, where it makes the
must possess! Therefore, doesn't it
effectively (far more than speaking),
most difference, for the better! How
make sense, to make every effort, to
and learning from every conversation,
else could someone, know, where he
attempt to see, and perceive things,
and experience, in order to provide
should place, his most emphasis?
as one's constituents do, or, in other
relevant, sustainable ways, to
words, to put oneself, in others'
proceed!
PLACE? Unfortunately, this is often,
The finest leaders are those who put themselves in others' PLACE! Are you
quite challenging, because. far too
3. Attitude; attention; articulate: True
ready, willing, and able. to make that
many individuals, in positions of
leaders overcome any tendency, to
commitment?
leadership, are willing to fully
prioritize negativity, and opt for
consider the best way to proceed, in
proceeding with a positive, can - do,
Richard has owned businesses, been
order to provide service and
attitude! When this is combined with
a COO, CEO, Director of
direction, which, not only serve the
the willingness, and ability, to
Development, consultant,
best interests of constituents, and the
proceed with an open - mind, and
professionally run events, consulted
interests of the organization, but
pay keen attention, to what is a
to thousands of leaders, and
also, are perceived by others, in a
priority, relevant, and sustainable,
conducted personal development
motivating, inspiring manner! With
and demonstrate, they deserve to be
seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has
that in mind, this article will attempt
a leader, by effectively articulating
written three books and thousands of
to briefly evaluate, consider, and
their message, and getting others, to
articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD,
discuss, using the mnemonic
buy - into, their visions, and follow
LLC has an informative website
approach, what this means, why it's
their leadership!
http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead
important, and some considerations.
can also be followed on Facebook 4. Character; creative; cooperative:
http://facebook.com/Plan2lead
1. Perceptions; priorities; planning:
It often requires, being an individual,
Until/ unless, constituents perceive,
who possesses the finest character,
the group is important, and
to permit him, to focus on seeing
somewhat essential, to them, and
things, through the eyes, of those one
Article Source:
their perceptions, tell them, their
serves and represents! When this
http://EzineArticles.com/9898190
leaders, are focused on the priorities,
quality, is combined with genuine,
near and dear, to them, few will
relevant, well - considered, creativity,
follow the leader, for any significant
and a cooperative spirit, the leader
period! Since effective leaders must
begins to be capable of putting
consistently proceed, based on well -
himself, in others' place!
18
L.E.A.P. Forward Here we are at the beginning of the 3rd month of
When you choose to L.E.A.P. FORWARD you are
2018. Are you ready to L.E.A.P. FORWARD? What
saying to yourself, I am going to Be Better, Do
do I mean by that? I am glad that you asked.
better and Become Better!!!! Our achievements
L.E.A.P. stands for Let Every Assignment Propel
grow us no matter how small or large they may be.
you. As men, we should be setting the tone for our
When your focus is to progress in all aspects of
families and our businesses. No matter what
your life you begin to think different, your choices
position you hold you should always be looking to
become better and your actions take on a different
be moving forward in whatever you do. L.EA.P.
outlook. As men, it is important that we choose our
FORWARD is a mindset and a lifestyle. Here are
assignments carefully and strategically. There will
the simple steps to being a man that is ready to
be others that will take their example from you.
L.E.A.P. FORWARD.
You can’t afford to be afraid to take on those things that will make you feel uncomfortable. The
STEP 1. Compile a minimum of 10 assignments
assignments should make you feel that way. If you
that you want to achieve in 2018. These
don’t feel uncomfortable then what you are doing
assignments should be things that deal with all
will not stretch you to be greater. Real Men Real
aspects of your life.
Life, Men of Faith wants to see you flourish in 2018 and the only way that you will do that is if you are
STEP 2. Create a plan of action that you will enact
uninhibited in your thinking and in your action.
so that you can achieve/complete the assignments
You were built to be greater and the only thing that
that you have written down.
is stopping you is you. The question that you must ask yourself is this….do you want more? Do you
STEP 3. IMPLEMENTATION. You must now
want to be better at the end of 2018 then you were
implement the plan of action and begin to work on
at the beginning of 2018?
your assignments. You are 3 months into 2018 so you want to make sure that you begin to put in
If the answer to that question is yes, then you have
place your assignments and plan of action as soon
some work to do. We all have some work to do.
as possible. Great men develop into being great
We all should be looking to make ourselves better
because they focus on becoming better every day.
in every way possible. Are you ready to L.E.A.P.
The mission as men is to become better every day.
FORWARD?
We become better in our family life, we become better mentally, we become better in our
LEROY MCKENZIE JR.
relationships. We become better spiritually, and
jnfenterprises@yahoo.com
we become better professionally.
Real Life Real Faith | 16
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RLRF
NEW AGE LUXURY TRAVEL Anastasia Kanli
The present luxury travelers are looking for new and unique experiences. They want to learn and understand the culture and history of the places they visit. They must experience it like a local, or more aptly, a very wealthy local. The new aspect of luxury vacation, it's no longer about living in the most expensive hotels or eating off gold (or actually eating it); it's now about experiences that you'll never forget that no one else has Instagrammed. A choice that could provide you a real new experience in terms of the modern meaning of luxury traveling is a private sailing cruise on a luxury yacht. A cruise like this in the Aegean Sea and especially in the Cyclades island group can provide an authentic experience of the town, city or village you're visiting. Although there will always be "must see" tourist spots to go to, you could also live authentic and local experiences. For instance, on the islands, you are going to visit you could participate in events that locals would frequent, like local festivals with music, dance, food and drink. For those who love to shop, you'll have the opportunity to try and buy local products that you can't find anywhere else. Try amazing wines, cheeses, exceptional Hellenic products like herbs coming from the Greek earth and grown with the help of sun and salty wind. Among others, you'll have also the option of arranging with your skipper a unique experience by mixing and matching different excursions, day trips, cruises, and activities to suit your personal preferences and interests. You could visit such as archaeological sites or secret buys or even enjoy a massage or personal counseling session like Ayurvedic & Thai massages, Healing, Reiki, Aromatherapy. If you wish you could also enjoy water sports or a relaxing yoga workshop. All the above could be a memorable time of your life consisted of services planned only for you, private visits, isolated beaches, private tours, or a relaxing afternoon cycling through the Greek countryside to a vineyard where a wholesome Mediterranean meal awaits? The options are endless. Of course on a trip like this, the crew of the sailboat can ensure you a level of safety and security, a calm cruise, a safe anchor the best services in and out of the boat. Everything on a trip along these lines is designed to satisfy your peace of mind and give you the pleasure you swear by at new age luxury travel.
Exclusive interview with
Kenkyusha Manila's Rising Sun
Page 31
?yvaeHooTdaoLruoYsI erutaeF htiaF fo neM
Hurley’sMentalNote
Men of Faith Feature
Changing the Mental Health Narrative Hello men. I hope that you all are paying real close attention to what’s going on in
how they affect one’s physical health as well. Now...back to the topic at hand. Men you are not
this country as it pertains to mental health
excluded from mental illnesses. Most of you, if
and the illnesses that come with it. To me
not all of you, are aware of this fact. The issue for
it appears that many have decided to close
us men, however, is that a lot of us are not willing
their eyes and ignore all the signs and all
to seek help. Our pride and the fact we don’t
the events that are going on in this
want to open up to talk about our feelings are the
country. Some even go as far as to say that
big reasons that we would go against the better
mental illness is a cop out to allowing people to get by with their actions… actions that impact numerous people in a single event.
decision of seeking help to address whatever mental illness that may be negatively impacting our lives. For some, I am preaching to the choir… i.e. the ones of you that have sought or are currently seeking help for mental illnesses. For
There is not a day that goes by that you cannot
the ones that continue to ignore, overlook, or try
look into the newspaper or turn on the local or
to hide a mental illness…I dare you to consider
national news and see some form of mental
seeking some sort of help. Seeking help is not the
illness impacting someone’s life. Some
end of the world…as a matter of fact, it may be
psychologists have even stated that the current
the beginning of a new world for you. And for
President of the United States of America suffers
those of you that still need convincing, keep this
from a mental illness called Narcissism. Before
in mind…ANXIETY and DEPRESSION are
anyone loses their mind with that last sentence, I
considered forms of mental illnesses. So that we
challenge all of you to do some research on the
understand…mental illnesses are health
mental disorder Narcissism.
conditions involving changes in thinking,
Speaking of research…I need all of you to take
emotion, or behavior, or a combination of any of
time to do research on mental health, mental
these. Mental illnesses can be connected to
illnesses/disorders, and what mental
distress and/or problems functioning in social,
illnesses/disorders do to you, which includes
work or family activities.
Issue 27 | 234
Men of Faith Feature So, men, I have a question? Why does society tend
with the body. What would you think was going on
to give us men a pass in most cases when it comes
with you if you are experiencing a racing heart,
to seeking help for mental illnesses? How we
tightening chest, ongoing headaches, and/or
express emotions as men are big contributors to
digestive issues? Most people will attribute these
how society often overlooks mental health
symptoms to something that is physically
symptoms of men. One example is how people
happening with your body, which may very well
may look at depression or anxiety symptoms in
be so. However, if you are having a lot of
men versus how they look at the symptoms in
emotional problems or your stress level is through
women. Since men tend to hide emotions a man
the roof…these factors can be the catalyst to what’s
that is really showing signs of depression or
causing these symptoms. What are some signs that
anxiety may appear to others as being angry or
there may be some sort of mental health problem
aggressive, while for a woman, on the other hand,
going on with a person?
people will tend to see it as expressing sadness. This is why we must do more to bring awareness
Warning signs that may be mental health
to mental health and become knowledgeable.
symptoms • Anger, irritability or aggressiveness
When an individual has a serious mental health
• Noticeable changes in mood, energy level, or
issue that goes undiagnosed or untreated
appetite
sometimes the individual seeks other ways to try to
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
make the way they feel go away or try other ways
• Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on
to make his/herself feel better. Sometimes what
edge
people will do is latch on to prescription
• Increased worry or feeling stressed
medications, drugs or alcohol to fix how they feel
• A need for alcohol or drugs
at that moment, which may turn into an addiction
• Sadness or hopelessness
of some sort. Some men may turn to prescription
• Suicidal thoughts
medications, drugs or alcohol to try to cope with
• Feeling flat or having trouble feeling positive
their emotional issues. Do you know anyone that
emotions
has done this before or are currently doing this?
• Engaging in high-risk activities
Would you be able to honestly admit to this if this
• Ongoing headaches, digestive issues, or pain
was in fact you? In the world of mental health this
• Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior
is oftentimes labeled self-medicating. The
• Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work,
definition of self-medicating is taking addictive or
family, or social life
habituating drugs to relieve stress or other
• Unusual thinking or behaviors that concern other
conditions. We will dig more into this in a future
people
article for this topic is well-deserving of its own article.
Now men…after seeing this you must then take a look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with
Sometimes mental health symptoms will be
yourself. Have you in the past or do you currently
mislabeled as physical issues that are going on
experience any of these symptoms? If you answer
Issue 27 | 234
Men of Faith Feature yes, you must then ask yourself why do you currently experience these? What kind of stress is going on in your life that may have you experiencing any one of these symptoms? We, as men, must do a better job acknowledging the fact when it comes to mental health. We can no longer afford to overlook symptoms in ourselves or in anyone that is in our lives. The news is proving this fact. Case studies and research are telling us this fact. Your life, your marriages, your family, your friends, your church family‌society‌all need you to seek help if you are dealing with mental health symptoms. Men, we must change our mentalities. We must not look at ourselves as weak if we seek help. We must not care about what others will think if we seek help. We must change the narrative!
Issue 27 | 234
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WISDOM FOR EVERYDAY LIFE FEATURE
2018
THE EPIDEMIC OF SHORTAGE OF MEN IN THE CHURCH Teddy A. Jones "De Man dem short and de ooman dem
• Less than 10 percent of churches can maintain a
plenty"
thriving men's ministry. The majority of men who actually show up for Sunday worship are there in
It Nuh Pretty at all Welcome to Man Short Church, the statistically average US congregation. This week • Man Short Church will draw an adult congregation that's 61 percent female, 39 percent male. • Almost 25 percent of the married women who attend Man Short will do so without their husbands. • Man Short will attract a healthy number of single women, but few single men. • About 90 percent of the boys who are raised in church abandon it during their teens and twenties. Most never return. • This Sunday in America, six million married women will worship without their husbands. That's one out of five. • Most churchgoing guys are "lifers" who grew up in church. Men are the hardest group to reach.
body only. Their hearts just aren't in it. Few will do anything during the week to nurture their faith. Man Short Church is the norm in Christianity - in the U.S., and around the world. Your church profile is probably similar. In today's church, women are the participators, men, the spectators. How did we get here? How did a faith founded by a man and his 12 male disciples become the worse curse to men? Why do Christian churches around the world experience a chronic shortage of males, when temples and mosques do not? Why are churchgoing men so hesitant to really live their faith, when men of other religions willingly die for theirs? In "The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity" Leon Poddles quotes from a man he spoke with on the streets: "Life is a football game, with the men fighting it out on the gridiron, while the minister is up in the grandstand, explaining it to the ladies." THE EFFECTS OF THE LACK OF MEN IN THE CHURCH A lack of male participation is not only heartbreaking, it's strongly associated with overall
PAGE 20
WISDOM FOR EVERYDAY LIFE FEATURE
church decline. Over the long term, a lack of men
They have their own language, culture, and unique
will doom a congregation. The gender gap is
needs. It's clear that the church has ignored these
associated with church decline, according to the
needs far too long.
2018
latest studies. The denominations with the fewest men (per capita) are also those that have been
. UNDERSTAND WHY MEN HATE GOING TO CHURCH
losing members and shutting churches. On the other hand, churches with robust male participation
Look at it from a sociological perspective. What
are generally growing.
other behaviors do men avoid? What other venues make men uncomfortable?
The problem of criminality and drug abuse among inner-city black men is a problem of the distortion of
The answer is obvious: in our society, men avoid any
masculinity. The low numbers of men in means the
behavior (or venue) that might call their manhood
church would not be properly positioned to help
into question. For example, men don't go to baby
black men attain the status they so desperately
showers, fabric stores or "chick flicks." So it is with
need for their own good and the good of black
the church: men believe, deep in their hearts, that
women and children: that of patriarchs, responsible
church is a women's thing. Men approach
fathers who rule their families in justice and love.
Christianity with the same apathy or discomfort they display when forced to watch a Meg Ryan film. It just
This has also helped to cause Christianity to be
doesn't resonate with them. We need to Become
dismissed as irrelevant and unimportant. Other
students of men. The truth is many pastors have
effects include
built their ministries on their ability to interact with women. Because men are so unneeded for church
Reduced evangelistic ability as far as males are
work, ministers have had little incentive to go after
concerned
them. A good place to start: read John Eldredge's bestseller, Wild at Heart.
The perpetuation of the cycle of confusion as it relates to defining Biblical manhood.
John Eldredge says it best: men are wild at heart. Though men see the goodness of the Christian faith,
Reduces the mate selection pool for the females
they are not swept up in it because church life is so soft and sweet. The cautious, sensitive culture of
Reduces the credibility of Christianity
today's church fails to match the adventurous spirit found in most men.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT 2. Get rid of the symbols that suggest that the Men are the world's largest unreached people
church building is feminine territory like the pictures
group.
of gentle Jesus meek and mild in a white dress. Stop
PAGEÂ 22
WISDOM FOR EVERYDAY LIFE FEATURE
2018
sending Nick signals that church is for women. From
When possible, choose songs with masculine lyrics.
the moment he walks into the sanctuary, Nick must
Many of today's praise songs feature lovey-dovey
sense that this is something for him, not just
words set to a romantic tune. Nick may feel
something for his grandma, his wife, and his kids.
uncomfortable singing these words to Jesus, a man
Examine everything about your church: the dĂŠcor,
who lives today. Also, whenever possible, move men
the vocabulary you use, the songs you sing, the
outside for worship. There's nothing like a bonfire
behaviors you expect. Men will respond if you meet
and a starry night to connect a man and his Maker.
them halfway. 5. Meet their deepest needs: Men need spiritual 3. Present Jesus as the real hero role model that he
fathers and a band of brothers.
is. For this to happen there should be more focus on the manliness of Jesus. The blue-eyed effeminate-
A spiritual father is simply a layman who takes
looking wimpish white Jesus made famous in a
responsibility for bringing other men to maturity in
painting by Michelangelo will not do (especially if He
the faith. It's based on the discipleship models of
is seen holding that lamb). Here are my suggestions:
Jesus and Paul (1 Cor. 4:14-15). If you really want to
the Jesus who cracks the whip at the
bring men to life in Christ, spiritual fathering is how
moneychangers in the temple; the Jesus who
it's done.
embraced martyrdom to bring salvation; the Jesus who is a winner; who spoiled principalities and
Second, every man needs a band of brothers. Jesus
powers and made a show of them openly; the Jesus
began his ministry by assembling a team. They
who will rule the world with justice one day; the
trained together, worked together, and suffered
kingly Jesus who proclaims and demonstrates the
together. Men cannot succeed as followers of Jesus
Kingdom of God; the Jesus who spoke harshly to
without a team surrounding them. No matter how
scribes and Pharisees calling them 'white-washed
meaty the sermons, no matter how rich their quiet
sepulchers.' [ http://www.jamaica-
times' men will not come to maturity to Christ
gleaner.com/gleaner/20020421/relig/relig1.html ]
without a band of brothers surrounding them, and a spiritual father to guide them. Most churches offer
4. Plan worship experiences that are deliberately
nothing in the way of men's ministry or small
masculine focused. Women do masculine, but men
groups. What a tragedy. Although it's initially hard to
DO NOT do feminine. This is why we need to tip the
engage men in a small group, once they do get
balance toward the masculine spirit in worship.
involved, they're usually hooked. Their faith deepens.
That's the format most likely to make everyone
Their lives change.
comfortable. Helping men worship. With men, it's all about quality. Men appreciate good music from
6. We need to understand the qualities of maleness
talented musicians, played in their vocal range.
and femaleness. Males and females are differentÂ
and this is borne out by both Scripture and science. In his book, 'The Masculine Journey", Robert Hicks examines six Hebrew words that are used to define males. These six words, he argues, form the stages of a man's life.
a. understand that males relate around what they DO together b. males prefer action to conversation
a. adam describes the CREATIONAL MALE b. zakar describes the SEXUAL MALE c. gibbor describes the MALE AS WARRIOR
c. males find it uncomfortable to be vulnerable d. effective relating to males requires you to learn to "flex"
d. enosh describes the WOUNDED MALE e. ish describes the MATURE MALE f. zaken describes the WISE MALE OR SAGE Other than the first word 'adam all these words are used distinctively to describe males alone. 7. We must understand the cultural context in which our youth males grow, develop and live. Cultural practices vary from place to place and thus the impact on persons will vary. Our cultural context can be described, in part by two simple phrases: a) no father
b) nuff "mothers" These two factors have created many wounds in both males and females (the father wound and the mother wound) and a crisis in understanding themselves. The impact varies from person to person and is somewhat different for males than it is for females. 8. We must also know how to relate to males as males. Relating to males: We live in a very homophobic culture where close relationships with other males are often suspect and where even when males try they find it difficult to relate to each other. We offer some simple guidelines:
Skype: ghettopriest1 Home Page: http://www.TeddyAJones.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6727189
e. you will have to meet a man on his turf before you can move or guide him to where you want him to be. 9. We must provide a context in which males can release and realize their essential nature without the criticism of females and where they can learn from responsible male models who can provide experiences and ceremonies that will nurture and mark their development. 10. For churches to attract and retain men, they need to intentionally develop masculine modes of doing evangelism and pastoral care. E.g. Sports Evangelism. The church must deliberately tailor its evangelistic efforts to win men. What obtains at present is that evangelistic meetings try to win everybody and invariably end up with a handful of men at best and a ton-load of women and children. That is perhaps where the church has gone wrong.
11. You must put a high priority on developing leaders, especially male ones. Men are not looking for theologians, teachers or facilitators. They are looking for men who will lead them to greatness." Men need great leadership. Men are drawn by vision and purpose, by achievement and power. Churches that attract enthusiastic men do so by taking risks, dreaming big, and bringing a measure of adventure back to the Christian life. 12. Take risks and develop ministries that have a danger factor because men are adventurous and risk takers. Other Considerations Men love technology. "Information conveyed through the use of technology often has a higher degree of believability than does information coming directly out of the speaker's mouth." Men love excellence and quality. "Men are turned off by mediocrity, amateurish music, worn-out facilities, and unkempt grounds. Men love the outdoors. Plan activities to be held in the outdoors as much as is possible. Men feel closer to God when they are outdoors. Men love adventure. Men are transformed more by what they experience and less by what they are told. Helping men learn. Men's brains are less verbal than women's, so they require a different approach. Men have been trained to focus for 6 to 8 minutes (the length of TV commercials). The lengthy monologue sermon, so effective in the Victorian era, fails to reach today's men. Rick Warren of the Purpose Driven Church may have an answer: he frequently breaks his sermons into 5 to 7-minute chunks, with a video, drama or song between each segment. And object lessons are essential: never take the pulpit without an object in hand. Jesus called these parables, and they survive to this day because men remembered them. Effective pastors and teachers draw metaphors and illustrations from the realms of sports, business, battle, and survival. Helping men serve. Roger from Ohio says, "If serving in the church was more about pounding nails and less about wiping runny noses, I'd probably be interested." Men will gladly serve if we let them do what they're good at. Why not work on cars? One Illinois church has an on-site auto repair facility, staffed by volunteers, that benefits single mothers and the working poor. Even a small church can offer free oil changes in the church parking lot. Our congregation started doing this twice a year; the event attracts more than fifty guys who give up a Saturday morning to serve God. What's more remarkable, we almost always get a few nonreligious husbands of churchgoing wives. A clear mission for every church. Most church mission statements are rambling and non-specific. Men are drawn to clarity and brevity. If they're going to give up their weekend, they want to know why. High moral standards. Family men are looking for a church that's different from the world they see on TV. This is why conservative churches are growing and liberal ones are dying. Few men are drawn to squishy morals. They want a church built on a firm, time-tested bedrock. Men need help and backup enforcing morals at home. Children today are bombarded with immoral messages. Men feel powerless against MTV, South Park, and the Internet. Churches should train men how to deal with these situations - how to say no to sin in a loving way. www.churchformen.com/?p=203 Why Men Flock to Islam Develop a culturally relevant, Biblically grounded, practical affirmation of sexuality The church and Christian radio have failed to support a married man's need for regular sexual intimacy with his wife, which is an insult and a betrayal. We are men, not eunuchs.
TELL ME WHAT YOU EAT, AND I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE. ANTHELME BRILLAT-SAVARIN