COCOA THE CHOCOLATIER CHEF
TONY'S
SPECIALTY Â IS
NEW
RESTAURAN
NOW
OPEN
08
Discerning the True Meaning of Christian Values Alvin C. Romer
12
Meet Bishop Aaron Parish Hurley Morgan
22
Venture Capital Funding Ideas for Your Business Marc Bandemer
24
Money Power Respect Leroy McKenzie
MARCH/APRIL ISSUE 2019
REAL LIFE REAL FAITH MEN OF FAITH
Editor in Chief Cheryl Lacey Donovan Publisher Elissa Gabrielle Senior Editors Hurley Morgan Cee Cee H. Caldwell Columnists Leroy McKenzie Alvin C. Romer Hurley Morgan Bryant Lewis Marc Bandemer
Designer Cheryl Lacey Donovan
EDITORIAL OFFICES P.O. Box 450121 Houston, Texas 77245 832-827-4438
SUBSCRIPTIONS (832) 827-4438
. realliferealfaithmagazine.net
Editor's Note
Words from the Senior Managing Editor… Greetings, We are springing into our second issue of Men of Faith in 2019. Speaking of spring…spring is now upon us! My favorite time of the year…where things come back to life! Spring is the time of the year where things that once appeared absent of life becomes vibrant and life enriched. When you think of spring…words such as vividness, rejuvenation, enrichment, growth, newness, and encouragement, to name a few, may come in mind. That is what we seek for not only this issue…but also every issue of MOF. We want to provide vivid articles that rejuvenate the mind while enriching the mind and soul. We want to encourage you to want to grow, feel the need to grow, and go out in the world to help others grow! We are pleased and honored to feature in this issue Bishop Aaron Parrish, pastor of the Bridgeton Church of God in Bridgeton NJ. Not only does Bishop Parrish preach the gospel, but he utilizes his gift in the Human Services field working with those with mental health challenges. In this interview you will learn about this great man of God. Also…continue to be entertained by the writings of the contributing brothers of Men of Faith. These brothers all work diligently at bringing to you a taste of “spring” within the words expressed through their contributions. The conscious brothers that grace the pages of this magazine seek to plant within the minds of each one of you seeds that are springtime worthy that are intended to sprout, leaving you full from the harvest of knowledge. We seek to cultivate minds with insightful and entertaining knowledge that is meant to help someone in need of food for thought. We continue to strive through our articles to educate, uplift, motivate, inspire, and create a magazine by men for men. With this magazine, our mission continues to be to address many topics that men not only want to hear but also need to hear. With that being said… Happy Reading & Much Love! Hurley Morgan Senior Managing Editor
DISCERNING THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTIAN VALUES Alvin C. Romer Have you ever experienced wondering why God seemed to have ignored your prayers, or perhaps things took quite a while into rectifying issues that you’re dealing with? I wasn’t immune to such situations as I transitioned from mediocre to a sense of magnified bearing once I changed my life. In this article I will attempt to shed light on my opinionated views of discernment for valuable assets of character development for reverence. Recently I encountered a mentee that I’ve counseled who had the same question where I had to give life lessons on Christian value, and what it meant to live life on different dispositions. Of course, my rationale bordered on what I could give him on Biblical principles relative to what does it says about Christian values, and a life of righteous intent. To wit: How can one follow and obey God’s will and live a Godly life? What does it mean to do good works? What should be done to avoid sinning? What values and virtues are taught in the Bible? All of these queries and more are part of the process of understanding the meaning of living life to the fullest, and being in position to reap the benefits of not running afoul. Many of us sincerely want to live Godly lives but we often hear conflicting ideas of what that means. Worldly values include wealth, power, pleasure, revenge, fame, vanity and status. Yes, these are the most important things to people who perceive no power or purpose beyond themselves. But then again, what about values promoting jealousies, resentments and conflicts among us in accordance with satanic influences? Obedience and adhering to good counsel will never be a barrier obstructing change. In all of the classes I teach, I introduce standards and strive for my students to be outstanding in every area.
Whether in church or any academic setting the children are at the heart of everything I try to instill in them; and I strongly believe in offering them opportunities to develop into thoughtful, confident and compassionate members of society. In order to achieve this, values in God’s eyes are plentiful in the Good Book. I've come up with an acronym that gives discernment for deductive reasoning and logic to fueling common sense. You may say that not all people are common to the senses that give clarity understanding the true meaning of Christian value. This is true. Bear with me though, as I introduce my KFC Principle (and no, it’s not Kentucky Fried Chicken!) of life for this theme. Let’s start with KINDNESS, including being generous, forgiving, tolerant, caring, thoughtful, gentle, grateful, and supportive. Each of these characteristic are valuable in any social setting. We have far too many folk who don’t love each other, do not go out of their way to smile appropriately to foster benevolent intent, nor giving credence to have a giving attitude making others feel appreciative. FELLOWSHIP on the other hand incorporates all of the aforementioned, complete with vestiges of self, family and community congruous with cooperative loyalty and trustworthy attributes. Treating each other with respect defines the very meaning of Koinonia, being right with all that espouse a basic Christian value. It is the basic foundation that allow Christian value to validate how we embrace life among each other in an Agape way. Endowing yourself for favor and flavor often has a lot to do with influencing someone, and being influenced by someone. Familial order cannot be understated, for God places more when they pray individually and collectively for unity.
We cannot afford to have our communities disenfranchised at the expense of not a good sense of discernible options therein. Last but certainly not least is the term, CONFIDENCE where resilience, self-esteem, commitment, determination, imaginative, and diligence aid and abet optimism beyond doubt. When everything is assessed for applicable means we then can fathom a practical way of calculating results based on solutions. Bringing closure to this subject depend on how you persevere in life putting God first. This means continuously seeking His righteousness and totally relying on Him. As responsible adults and obedient adolescents we have freedom of choice to decide what is right and wrong…we should publically express our desire as Christians understanding the values we hold without apology. Moreover, we should definitely ask as David did, “search me, O Lord, and know my heart…try me and know my thoughts, and see it there be any wicked way in me. Lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24) .
R E A L
M E N
P R A Y
BISHOP AARON
Parrish
Bishop aaron parrish Bishop Aaron Parrish Sr. is the Pastor of the Bridgeton Church of God in Bridgeton NJ. Bishop Parrish is one of the gifted communicators of his generation as he maintains the integrity of the word of God while making it relevant to its hearers. Bishop Parrish is passionate about developing leaders who are critical thinkers, who share the responsibility of equipping believers to be laborers together with Christ. Bishop Parrish is an Ordained Bishop in the Church of God, Cleveland Tennessee and has a Master of Human of Services degree from Lincoln University, Lincoln PA. Of his many accomplishments, Bishop Parrish is most proud of being used by God to touch lives, empower believers, and encouraging them to press through life’s obstacles and do extraordinary things for God. Bishop Parrish loves to show the mercy of Jesus Christ to everyone he encounters. This is evident not only in his ministry but also in his secular vocation as a Human Services provider, working with people experiencing mental health challenges. Bishop Parrish is an approachable, down to earth person, who enjoys reading books, watching movies, and spending time with his wife and children, especially his granddaughter Aziyah. Bishop Parrish motto in life is “Ones Past does not have to determine their Future.”
father's deserve love too Bryant Lewis This is a subject matter that is not only close to my heart, but something that I’m extremely passionate about bringing to the forefront, being a dad, being a dad of color, being a single dad of color.
First, it’s important to let you know that I do not I repeat, DO NOT have negativity towards women whatsoever. I have so many women who have been great influences in my life, including 5 sisters who are all simply tremendous mothers. It’s also important to write that I have 2 sons, Bryant, 28 and Jordan, 18. Needless to say, they are the loves of my life, and I will, and hopefully they feel I have done everything within my power to put them in the best position possible to succeed. I’m very proud of what I’ve done as a father, and even prouder of the accomplishments my sons have achieved to this point, but what I’m most proud of is the influence other dads of color have told me I’ve been to them.
Forever, fathers in general and
Black fathers in particular have been stigmatized as not caring about their children, not paying child support, being absentee fathers etc. While I have to admit that there have been plenty of men who deservedly were put out there as being those things, it became too easy to make a generalization of Black men that we just didn’t give a damn. While I can’t speak on the men of past generations, I know men of my generation and younger are simply enjoying the joys of fatherhood. And yet, this isn’t being recognized, because it’s another way of dehumanizing the Black male. Why isn’t more made of dads doing great things with their kids? Why when mothers do something amazing they are almost Canonized, when fathers do something equally amazing, we get “well that’s what you’re supposed to be doing?” While I do agree with that in principle, don’t we all want to be acknowledged for doing positive things?
The one stigma I would
love to see us men erase, is that we are strong and that we can do this by ourselves. NO WE CAN’T!!!! We should have the opportunity to look for advice, comfort, prayers and just plain old dialogue from other men, especially those that have gone through similar experiences. I went through a lot in my life as I have gone through parenthood. I didn’t have anyone to lean on, or really just vent to, especially early on. I wanted to start an advocacy group. A group of men, fathers who are able to come together and share experiences and ideas. Have professionals come and give advice on how to handle situations like divorce or custody. Maybe you have to deal with a serious illness or death of a spouse. Prepare you and your child for college. My brothers in arms, don’t be afraid or letting the stereotypes of our past keep us from making the future bright and prosperous for us and for our offspring.
Finally, I want to encourage the women to be a positive influence in the lives of the men in your life. I’m not advocating doing it for the sake of doing it, if the father of your child isn’t doing right by you or your children, please by all means, do whatever you need to do to make sure he does what he’s supposed to be doing. But for those that are being fantastic dads, even if the two of you aren’t together, make sure that you acknowledge it, especially in front of the children. Remember, your sons are going to grow up and hopefully be fathers as well.
For more information, please visit https://www.jcgardnerspeaks.com.
Real Life Real Faith | 15
interview with bishop aaron parrish MOF: It’s our honor having you…how are things going for you these days? Bishop Parrish: Things are going well! God has been good to me and my family! MOF: You have a Master of Human of Services degree from Lincoln University in Lincoln, PA. You an Ordained Bishop in the Church of God, Cleveland Tennessee You are the pastor of the Bridgeton Church of God in Bridgeton NJ. When did you decide to go on your path in ministry…what led you to your calling? Bishop Parrish: I believe our steps are ordered by God. Looking back over my life, I can say that God has had his hands on me since conception. All of the things I have experienced in life was preparing me for the moment I would surrender to God’s plan for my life and embrace my calling. You see, I didn’t choose God Rather He has chosen me! MOF: Being that you touch so many lives and so many people look to you for spiritual guidance…what do you feel is your main purpose in life? Bishop Parrish: As I have matured and come to a fuller understanding of myself and my purpose, I realize that my purpose during this season is to be a champion for those who don’t see themselves as God sees them. My purpose is to help them to see the beauty they possess on the inside and the outside. One of the ways I do that is by communicating truths of the word of God so that people can rightfully see themselves the way God sees them. My focus is on encouraging people to be their best “SELF.” To love themselves just the way God made them! MOF: When people see your name, Bishop Aaron Parrish, what do you want people to say? What type of man do you want to be known as especially since you reach so many lives? Bishop Parrish: When people see me, I want them to see a servant and follower of Jesus, not a title. Over the years, I have had the privilege to minister to people from all walks of life. One of the things I often hear as it relates to my character is that I’m humble, transparent, and relatable.
Real Life Real Faith | 15
.MOF: What can we find you spending a lot of your time doing today as it pertains to your calling and outreach?
Bishop Parrish: I’m always in search of ways to engage people in my community and ultimately leading them to having a personal relationship with Jesus. This requires me to spend a lot of time doing ministry beyond the four walls of the church. When I was growing up, if someone put up a tent for a revival people would come. Today, that is not the case. We have to meet people where they are, engage them, help meet their basic needs, and deliver the gospel to them.
MOF: In the light of all the pain, suffering, and hate that you can see, nowadays pretty much everywhere you turn…what is it that you would like to see happen to make things better for not only African Americans but everyone? Bisho Parrish: I would like to see more love in our communities and a shared interest in the betterment of mankind. MOF: You work in the Human Services field. It takes a special person to be able to work in mental health…many people have their own way of thinking as it pertains to the stigmas surrounding mental health and religion being said under the same breath. What do you find to be the most challenging aspect of working in the field and yet keeping true to your faith? Bishop Parrish: As a human service practitioner, one of the most challenging aspects of working in the field of mental health is wanting to help everybody. Whether it’s linking them to resources in the community, obtaining entitlement programs, or finding temporary housing. It can be very challenging because people are at different stages of change. And some people do not want help even though they may need it. MOF: Out of all the things that you have accomplished up to this point in your life…what has been your biggest accomplishment so far? Bishop Parrish: My biggest accomplishment I would have to say I have big accomplishments: 1)being a loving husband 2)a good father. MOF: Are there any projects that you are currently working on? What do you have on the horizon? Any new projects that you are planning to take on?
Bishop Parrish: I’m currently working on building partnerships with agencies in my community that are providing various services for the community. My long term goal is to build a community center on the land next to our church that provides child care and after school programs for youth. MOF: Outside of your work spreading the Gospel what else can we find you doing? Any hobbies? Bishop Parrish: I love going to the movies, shopping, and spending time with my family. MOF: Of course, you know the title of the magazine is Men of Faith Magazine. With all the challenges that men face, especially men of color, what words of advice can you give any man that may be going through something in their life right now? Bishop Parrish: Getting an education is a must. Be determined to succeed even if it means working burning the midnight oil. Last but not least, keep God first. MOF: We would love to be able to keep up with you in order to show support. Tell the readers how they can keep up with what’s going on with you? Bishop Parrish: Our website is www.bridgeton.dynamicradius.com Our service times and upcoming events are on our website. Also, you can send me an email.
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Hurley's Mental Note What's On Your Mind
Let me educate you. There is a term called cognitive distortions that I want you men to ponder. What exactly is it? Let’s break it down. The word cognitive means relating to cognition, which by definition is the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses. The word distortion in this sense is the action of giving a misleading account or impression. Now…let’s put these two terms back together. Simply put cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that can influence your emotions. Do you experience that? It’s ok to admit that you do…why? Everyone experiences cognitive distortions to some degree. The issue, however, is that cognitive distortions in their more extreme forms can be harmful. Now that we know what the term means….what does it look like? Here are examples of cognitive distortions: Magnification and Minimization - Exaggerating or minimizing the importance of events. One might believe their own achievements are unimportant, or that their mistakes are excessively important. Catastrophizing - Seeing only the worst possible outcomes of a situation. Overgeneralization - Making broad interpretations from a single or few events. “I felt awkward during my ob interview. I am always so awkward.” Magical Thinking - The belief that acts will influence unrelated situations. “I am a good person—bad things shouldn’t happen to me.” Personalization - The belief that one is responsible for events outside of their own control. “My mom is always upset. She would be fine if I did more to help her.” Jumping to Conclusions - Interpreting the meaning of a situation with little or no evidence. Mind Reading - Interpreting the thoughts and beliefs of others without adequate evidence. “She would not go on a date with me. She probably thinks I’m ugly.”
Fortune Telling - The expectation that a situation will turn out badly without adequate evidence. Emotional Reasoning - The assumption that emotions reflect the way things really are. “I feel like a bad friend, therefor I must be a bad friend.” Disqualifying the Positive - Recognizing only the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive. One might receive many compliments on an evaluation, but focus on the single piece of negative feedback. “Should” Statements - The belief that things should be a certain way. “I should always be friendly.” All-or-Nothing Thinking - Thinking in absolutes such as “always”, “never”, or “every”. “I never do a good enough job on anything.”
When is the right time to consider VC or Private Equity for your enterprise? Initially every entrepreneur needs to first see if they have exhausted all other options first. Typically, a company would be low on equity when considering private investors. There are however multiple sources of equity capital, including, Friends & Family, Business Angels, VC's, Corporate/Strategic Investors, Private Equity companies or The Entrepreneur's own capital. For those seeking capital of $500k+ look for VC. For smaller investments, entrepreneurs should seek a Business Angel or Debt Capital. An understanding of the different types of funding stages is therefore useful so see below. Pre-seed funding is funding that is needed prior to physically construct the enterprise. Usually this funding goes to putting together a good business plan that can impress potential investors. Seed funding is funding that is required to start building the company. It is possible that some companies could if appropriate skip this funding phase, but seed capital is usually the capital that is required to get the basics for a start-up. Usually at seed stage, a company is not yet ready to open for business, and this funding is usually used to rent office space, real estate, equipment needed to produce the company's product or service. Seed funding is less commonly invested by VC's and is not necessarily a large amount of funding. Seed funding can range from $100k-$500k. Rarely does it exceed $1m. Seed capital can also be raised from a Business Angel, Friends and Family or the Entrepreneur's own funds. Only 15% to 25% of VC's invest in seed funding. Early stage funding is usually where VC is sought. A company is usually ready to trade but requires additional capital for salaries. Later stage funding is also known as expansion/growth stage funding is for companies who are doing well and are seeking to expand. There are numerous ways that entrepreneurs raise seed capital to get started. These conventional ways include raising debt capital from a business lender, merchant bank or angel investor who are willing to invest seed capital into the business. Other more ingenious entrepreneurs raise seed capital through raising debt capital, sweat equity and funding from friends and family. VC is usually raised with early stage funding, i.e. as above, series A or series B funding. In most cases, VC's will not invest less than $1 million in a company. Understand these and you will be off to a good start and be taken seriously. If you need help or guidance contact me by email Marc Bandemer here marc@integerwealth.co.uk Marc Bandemer 2016 or visit our site http://www.integerwealth.co.ukArticle
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Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9500830
Venture Capital - And Other Funding Options For Your Business Marc Bandemer
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2019
2019
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MONEY POWER RESPECT LEROY MCKENZIE, JR.
jnfenenterprises@yahoo.com
This year is going by in a flash. We are already into
everything. I know that there are men who
March and so much is happening in our society.
would trade their money for a healthy state of
The news is filled with stories that all seem to be
mind. The world we live in will have you
about 3 things…MONEY, POWER AND RESPECT.
believing that he who has money is the
From a male perspective these three things
happiest, but this is so not true...just ask Bill
seem to have a grip on us like the GI Joe with the
Cosby.
Kung Fu grip on it. Let’s discuss how these three things affect us as men and even some of the men who have been in the news lately because of one or all three of these three issues. Let’s begin by talking about the all mighty dollar and how we as men are in a constant state of pursuit of it. MONEY can have you doing things that you never thought that you would do for it. There are many men who believe that money will get them everything that they want in life. Well, money
POWER…and I’m not talking about the great Starz show that comes on either. This power thing is serious. Having power has long been what many men have longed to have. Some men believe that having power gives them a certain status in life. Power gives one the ability to control certain things but that power has gone to many men’s head. This country was founded on a certain group of people having
may get you access to resources, and take you to
power over another group of people. Running
places that you never thought that you could visit
our government is about which party is in
but money is not the be all end all. There are
power. As young boys we are taught that
many men who have all the money that they
leadership means power and that we are
could have in 3 life times but they are miserable
to have that leadership if we want the power.
people and living in a state of depression, self-
We spend our lives working to get, putting
doubt and insecurity. Money can’t buy you
ourselves in the right position and around the
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MEN OF FAITH CONTRIBUTOR
right people just so we can be in control. There are layers to this thing called power and if you are going to play the power game you must first understand the rules. There are men who will go along with other men just for the very fact that it will get them these two things that I have talked about so far, and that is MONEY AND POWER!!! They are inter connected and if you don’t believe what I am telling you just ask R. Kelly what money and power meant to him. These two elements can build you up but they can certainly bring you crashing down and consume you when you allow them to control you. RESPECT is something that is earned not just given. If you want to be respected then you must give respect. I think that one thing that the younger generation of men lack is respect….respect for themselves, respect for family and respect for each other. When you look at the conditions of our communities as a whole throughout the country and see all of the killing that is going on, you can’t help but see the lack of respect. This is a small word but it is such a powerful and meaningful. Word. The older generation has dropped the ball in teaching the younger generation what respect is and how you earn it. You earn respect by treating others right, being accountable for your actions, doing the right thing, even when the wrong thing seems easier to do. Respect comes from the inside out. Your character shows how much respect that you have for yourself and for others. Giving respect shows that your maturity level is on another level than others. Men that we respect are the men who have looked at us and given us respect. They treat us with dignity, humanness and pour into us. They give us pride in who we are because of who they have become. I know for me, when I think of all the great men that I respect, I think of great men like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, my Pastor Bishop Walter S. Thomas Sr., Magic Johnson, President Barak Obama and many others but the one that I respect the most is Leroy Mckenzie Sr., who is the man that gave me life and taught me to respect myself, my family, and others. There are many other men that are on my list but I will just leave it at these just to name a few. What those in leadership today need to have more of for one another and for others is some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. as the great Queen of Soul sang about. You give it to get and we all live much happier lives.
2019
Power of a Praying Man