3 minute read
CHRISTINA
I’m from Black church roots with a progressive spin, open to the universe, chakra openings, smudges and joyous gay wedding receptions
Going to the alter and feeling the Spirit as we cry, sing and protest
From church plays and fashion shows, Sunday School and Jr. Church, girl scout and boy scout trips, Deacon So and So and Dr. Somebody and all the elders that are now dying out
From the Great Migration from Alabama and Mississippi where you can see all the stars and my great grandfather’s land, from freed enslaved peoples’ hopes and dreams
I’m from a late afternoon at Rush Presbyterian St. Luke Hospital in the west loop
From summertimes eating spaghetti, ribs, chicken and sausage mastered all day on the grill and left simmering in Dad’s roaster, fruit salad, potato salad, pop and Mom’s rarely made homemade cake
I’m from Grandma and the rest of the ancestors who paved the way
I’m from the Southside of Chicago where they try, but there is no other
Since no one asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so angry
Because we don’t get paid enough
Because those who were supposed to be the hero instead became the villain in our stories
Because we tried to warn you
Because we still get blamed for what someone else did
Because you don’t listen
Because we did so much and it’s still not enough
Because you made us feel unsafe again
Because we keep having to clean up the mess
Because we are not the maid
Because our feelings aren’t considered
Because you don’t trust us
Because we ’ re tired
Because we deserve more
Because after saying the same thing over and over again, you still don’t get it
Because our feelings matter
Because we matter
Because it’s been too much
Because you don’t have what it takes to keep us
Because no one will fully understand how much we bring and brought to the table
Because nothing ever changes again
Because you think we ’ re crazy
Because you say we ’ re crazy
Because apologies aren’t enough
Because we should be allowed to be full version of ourselves–
Angry, sad, hurt
Because we are not superwomen
Because we should be given love, light, joy, care, peace
I see you.
Even when they don’t.
I see you.
Trying hard.
They aren’t able to see you yet.
You are an enigma.
I know you wished that an explanation would have fixed it.
But they not ready.
I know you weren’t trying to cause harm
Your heart was in the right place
But even when it wasn’t, grace and love is free
But you know what they say, it’s also not cheap
We fall but what’s more important is that you get back up
Try again
Fail again
Learn and try again
This is a cold world sometimes
I hope you find peace within it
Give yourself the love and grace the world can’t
We used to have a better relationship. You supported me and I appreciated you. Somewhere along the way, something got lost. Wish I could have handled it differently But none of us is perfect
Just because we disagree doesn’t mean I don’t respect you
That’s just how I was raised–to have your own opinions and deal with things out in the open
I know you were scared. You thought I was going to take something away from you.
I just wanted you to be better. I was disappointed in how this all went down and how you handled it.
Why you don’t know this basic stuff?
Don’t get mad at me because I do. What it could have looked like. We could have been good. Now I’m just trying to figure out if I should make the effort to reach out.
I am going to create music and art and other good things growth, healing, love, justice, hope, joy and transformation on a grand scale
I am going to all continents except Antarctica because that’s too cold for me (but never say never) to experience new and beautiful places Yes, the touristy places like Eiffel Tower, safaris and pyramids but also the culture, the food, the music and the places not in the tourist guidebook
New conversations, new learnings
New sunsets and sunrises to see My happy place is by the water, feet in the sand, trees, rocks and nature surrounding me
Set intentions at every coast
More ease
More rest
More joy
More strength and flexibility
And they should say she helped create change in herself, her community and this world, tried her best to make the vision, plain
Everybody healthy, happy or joyful, or happy and joyful, whole and FREE Love! Art! Justice!
DROPPING ROCKS BEHIND, REMEMBERING MY JOURNEY.
Diamond
I am going to expand my horizons and live in the moment sometimes I am going to see beauty beyond where I am And go to higher heights
I’m am going to go out into the world to fulfill my purpose and utilize all that I have gained
I am going to honor the small things I have accomplished And not think that it's really nothing
I am going to leave a foot print in the sand At the places I have been
I am going to leave a legacy of love and inspiration
To my children
I am going to be great
I am going to be full of love and positivity With a beaming aura
I am going to be me unapolgetically
