“(Un)finished Business”

They say I look just like my dad with my momma eyes: and I instantly pause cause how can you deny a face that looks just like yours?! The youngest child is always spoiled, the older siblings envy them. I know you ’ re thinking who wouldn’t want to be the spotlight of attention RIGHT?.. Wrong being the youngest isn’t what everyone hypes it up to be. BEING THE YOUNGEST SUCKS! If I knew it came with an expiration of your time, then I would have jumped the line.

Plenty of times I blamed myself for your absence thinking I did something to make you not even want to give me a chance. Maybe If I was a boy then you would have stayed around, or maybe if I was your wife's child then I would have been a priority, Maybe If I just changed my appearance and wore the pretty dresses and purses then you would have treated me like the daddy’s girl that 9year-old KJay thought she needed. Just maybe huh....... I blamed everyone for your fuck up but YOU.

For years I blamed my mom for her poor choice in men for why you left, just thinking if she had just walked right past you then I wouldn’t even be in this predicament. But it wasn’t her fault you couldn’t step up to the plate and be a man. It’s because of my mom playing both roles that I made amends with your absence. She gave me what you didn’t and that’s effort. I remember the last time I heard from you I was 22. I was so excited to hear your voice when you picked up, that little girl who longed for her father that was trapped inside of me had begun to gain hope that just maybe this could be the start of something new until the first thing you asked me for was money. Despite our history I still gave it to you. I know it sounds foolish right, I thought for once that you have got it right, but I was wrong.

I am now 26 and life is going well for me. I graduated college and am still working towards higher education. I got married to a beautiful woman who loves me unconditionally and together we started our own family. My children are the absolute best. They keep me going with their little hugs and kisses. Because of you I am a phenomenal mom. You showed me what kind of parent I never wanted to be. I vow to always be a great role model and to always show up for them no matter how BIG or small the occasion is because those are the moments that matter the most. Because of you I have decided to put me first for once....... I’m done letting U IN THIS BUSINESS IS FINISHED!!!!!!

I am going places I never imagine I’ll be Im filling up rooms that aren’t meant for people like me Im headed down a blank road creating imagery on the walls filling them with what I aspire life to be like No this journey won't be easy….

So I’m staying focused, out of mind, out of sight

I'm going places higher than the mountain peak I may get knocked down trying to get there so remembering my goal is the KEY

I'm going places and Im getting there being UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME

GRATEFULNESS IS THE KEY TO BLESSINGS. krystal

I am from the depths of the Universe, From a King and Queen.

I am Royalty.

I am from the Rivers of the Earth. I am the Sunflower that blooms Big and Strong in a dark room.

I am from Empaths and Fiery Passions. From Trials and Tribulations that turn into Triumph.

I am from Strength and Success.

I am from my Golden Red Copper Ancestors, And from Warriors of Love and Light but also Destruction.

I am from Perseverance and Peace

Dear ME, I’ll tell you why we ’ re grateful

B/C I’m healing everyday.

B/C I’m loving myself more and more.

B/C I’m finally seeing the greener grass.

B/C I’m finally degree’d.

B/C I know everything is working out for ME.

B/C I’m finally at Peace.

It already has been 23 years

23 years of just us, you and I

2 peas in a pod

23 years of getting to know you and experiencing things that makes you me

Spending every second of the day with you literally there's no escaping. It seems like just yesterday we was off to first grade. Now we all grown up getting ready to move into our first apartment. Watching you grow, flourish and change for the better has been an amazing journey.

Watching you get up everyday to make stuff happen is inspiring. I’m finally in a place where I am getting to know you more and more. Understanding your do’s and don'ts. Understanding what makes us YOU. Quality time with you is impeccable and I'm starting romanticize our time alone which is something I always feared.

That golden skin shines as bright as Krystal’s. But it's the unconditional love that I have for you which keeps me motivated day to day. The girl in the mirror.

Where am I going?

That’s a question I myself have yet still found the answer to

Understanding the meaning of life & just enjoying the journey of the unknown While understanding I have a purpose in life

My life will touch and positively influence others

Knowing I will be successful and accomplish my every goal

Being there for my friends and family are some things I honor the most

Taking care of self and loving myself through the process

As life and my journey continuing to flow

PROGRESSION, IS NEVER CONSIDERED AN FAILURE

I am from L-town Chicago ave and Long

From hooping on crates and riding bikes

I am from an three bedroom house filled with art and great tasting food

I am from powerful thunderstorms

I’m from being told be a leader not a follower

And from being told you better be in the house before the street lights come on

I’m from hope and happiness

I’m from outwest Illinois

From sweet potatoes and baked mac and cheese

From Charlie Martin and Lewis Thorpe

I am from a majestic city.

Malik, since you asked , I’ll tell you why I’m so grateful

B/c you push yourself everyday

Because you never give up on your dreams

Because you understand that no one is perfect

Because you are open to criticism

Because you learn from your mistakes

Sometimes the person you need to talk to the most is in heaven.

To watch a bond break and leave is so crazy and hurtful. Everyone has their ups and downs in life. We lose family members and relationships.

Everyone you have crossed paths with has an experience of these things too.

If you ever find yourself feeling sad, don’t. Always remember that you are in control and you have to want it as bad as you want the pain to go away.

You’ve been okay before and you will be okay again. Enjoy the the presence of your family and friends because they won't always be here with you.

I am going to be successful in life

I am going to work my hardest to become the best possible version of myself that I can be.

I will always remain humble and consistent.

One day I am going to be an business owner

I am going to put others in an position to win

One day I hope the world will become a better place And Dr. King's Dreams will become a reality.

I am going to be successful

One day I will reflect on my life as I watch the sunset from a beautiful beach in bora bora as I'm relaxing.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH LIKE-MINDED COMMUNITY MEMBERS.

God, Since you asked, I'll tell you why I'm so optimistic

B/c for years I was drowning,

B/c I’ve never had the opportunity to change the settings to easy,

B/c sometimes I feel unheard,

B/c I didn't get a chance to finish what I started,

B/c when I’m at my lowest i’m never alone,

B/c when i’m up you keep me grounded,

B/c you are building the path as I walk it,

B/c as I walk it I see potholes and narrow streets,

B/c as I walk it I don’t see a dead end,

B/c when I walk it, you walk it with me.

Letter To Granny

Where has the time gone?

It seems like it was just yesterday, I leave school and head to west suburbs.

Everyone is here in the room, except you and you were always there. While you were battling, I was playing cards with Von and Nesha.

Not fathoming what would come to be 10 years later. Hell, there’s a few before that, but it started for me, with you. Life goes on, but time doesn’t heal every wound.

I am going to be wealthy

I will visit Christ the Redeemer

I will reflect on where I was 10 months ago

I will find the right career

But to do that I must stay resilient and humble

I’m gonna visit Egypt and gaze at the Pyramids

I'm going to continue to learn new things

I will be successful.

Flexibility

MOVE LIKE WATER IN ALL FORMS.