Copyright © 2017 by Gloria Ward All rights reserved under the international copyright law. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the express, written permission of the author or publisher. The exception is reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review. ISBN 978-1-56229-805-0 eBook Version ISBN 978-1-56229-807-4 Christian Living Books, Inc. P. O. Box 7584 Largo, MD 20792 www.christianlivingbooks.com Printed in the United States of America Unless otherwise indicated, Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Scriptures marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked THE MESSAGE are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ISV are taken from the Holy Bible: International Standard Version®. Copyright © 1996-2012 by The ISV Foundation. All rights reserved internationally. Used by permission. Signed Illustrations by Jonathan D. Davis
Contents
Preface ix Chapter 1 What Really Happened?
1
Chapter 2 Who Made You Head?
9
Chapter 3 The Wanna Be Alone Husband
15
Chapter 4 Divided We Fall
21
Chapter 5 Signs of a Breakup
29
Chapter 6 What Is Hidden In the Dark?
47
Chapter 7 Sound the Alarm! Blow the Trumpet!
51
Chapter 8
55
Walk in the Light
Chapter 9 Take Care of Your Bride
65
Chapter 10 Leadership In the Home
85
Chapter 11 A Dwelling of Peace
95
Chapter 12 It’s Yours. Take It Back
99
Afterword 109
vii
Preface
Adam, Take Your Position is the sequel to my first book, Eve, Get In Your Place. These books, birthed in my spirit, are a testament to the divine order of God. When my husband prayed to God: “Lord, I am in my place, please help my wife to get in her place”. God spoke this phrase into his spirit, “Eve, get in your place”. My husband spoke these words to me every time we had a disagreement. However, my ears were closed to my husband; I did not hear him. A year later, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me, “Eve, get in your place”. I share this story with the readers in the Eve book. In order to receive the blessings, instruction and protection of God, husband and wife must be in their rightful positions. They both must accept and assume their respective responsibilities in the marriage. When God revealed to us the divine order for the home, we both obeyed His command and began the process of getting in order. We will be the first to say that it does not happen overnight. It takes a lifetime of covenant, commitment and companionship. The principles in the text are based on and derived from the infallible, inspired Word of God, the Holy Bible. These principles define the husband’s leadership role in Christian marriages. The responsibilities are great, but not impossible to accomplish. Jesus’ leadership and love for His Church is the divine model for Christian husbands to emulate. ix
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Adam, Take Your Position
Hopefully, this book will be a useful resource to help both husband and wife to understand God’s divine order for the family. I pray that Christian husbands, who are walking in disobedience to God’s commands, will repent, take back their rightful leadership position, and lead their families according to God’s plan and purpose.
4 Divided We Fall
And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand (Mark 3:25). For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? (1 Timothy 3:5). How long can a marriage survive when it is crumbling within? The breakup of a marriage does not happen overnight. It happens day by day; hour by hour; and minute by minute. When you fail to get it right before the sun goes down, it carries over into the very next show down. The distractions, missteps, and strain of everyday living
21
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Adam, Take Your Position
can take a toll on the best of relationships. Your vows “for better or worse” will be tested. What you thought would be a bed of roses has turned into a garden of thorns. At times you wonder, “How did I get into this mess? How do I get out of it?” When these thoughts occur, the seed of separation is planted in your heart. As the seed takes root, cleaving now becomes leaving the relationship. Distractions can interfere with the oneness in the marriage. If the husband and wife are divided, the rest of the household will follow. The husband is responsible to God for what goes on under his roof. Working long hours to make ends meet can take precious moments away from the wife and children. Time and energy spent on outside activities and relationships may interfere with your efforts to bond with your family. Cell phones, television, and internet compete for the attention of family members. This obsession with technology can result in less conversation at the dinner table. If not watchful of these distractions, everyone will become strangers living in the same house. Fred: I have been here for two hours and only caught one fish. It was a big one. No need to complain. I need to wait for the tide to change. Speaking of change, my wife changes like the weather. We cannot come together on anything. Putting my house in order will not be easy. Holy Spirit, I need your help. The Voice of Unity: Fred, when God commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, He did not intend for her to be your slave. She was created to be a companion and helper to her husband. Proverbs 18:22 says, ‘Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord’. Have you turned what was intended to be good into bad? If you love and encourage her like Jesus loves the church, you can safely trust in her to share your dreams, hopes and plans for the home. If you treat her as God commands, Proverbs 31 tells us that she will do you good and not evil all the days of your life. She will become a precious gem to you. She will become your virtuous wife.
Chapter 4 n Divided We Fall
23
Fred: I’m not sure if we can come together long enough to discuss anything. Communication has become a problem for us. We try to avoid talking to each other. We have run out of things to say. It is easier to say nothing than to end up in an argument. The Voice of Unity: Fred, a house divided cannot stand. There are so many distractions and unseen forces that come against the marital relationship. You must be watchful. Stand firm. Be strong in Lord and in the power of His might to protect your family against the deceptive devices of the devil. Fred: It is a challenge to stand my ground with my wife. She is a very stubborn woman, bless her soul! It is so much easier to give in to keep the peace. If she wants to wear the pants, let her wear them! The Voice of Unity: If we open the book, what will be written about Fred’s house? Let’s take a look: There is quite a bit of information here. I see some distractions and unforeseen forces at work in your home. Do any of these scenes look familiar to you?
Scene #1 – Television
Fred arrives home from work and greets his wife in the kitchen. She acknowledges him with a nod and turns to the stove to fix his plate. He immediately goes to the den; sits in his favorite chair; picks up
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Adam, Take Your Position
the remote and press the “on” button. His wife brings his dinner and sits it on the TV tray, next to his chair. She returns to clean up the kitchen from dinner. She fed the children earlier. They have retired to their bedrooms to watch televisions. Everyone has their own TVs to watch whatsoever their eyes desire. The children love to watch music videos. The wife is hooked on the not-so-real life movies. Fred enjoys watching anything on television that involves sports. After cleaning the kitchen, the mother walks to the bottom of the steps. She yells up to the children: “It is bedtime! Turn off the TVs!” She peeks in the den to find Fred sound asleep with the TV blasting and the remote still in his hand. She goes to the bedroom to retire for the night. While waiting for her husband to come to bed, she falls asleep while watching a not-so-real life movie.
Scene #2 – Cell Phones
Fred arrives home from work. His wife waves to him while talking on the cell phone in the kitchen. He nods and goes directly to the den to watch TV. As soon as he sits in his comfy chair, his cell phone rings. He answers: “Hey man, how are you doing?”
Chapter 4 n Divided We Fall
25
Flo brings her husband’s dinner to the den. Fred points her to the TV tray while continuing his conversation on the cell phone. Flo returns to the kitchen. The children were fed earlier and are in their rooms with their TVs blasting. As Flo cleans up the kitchen, she can hear the laughter of her husband from the den. She is curious, but has no idea who he is talking to. He did not ask who she was talking to when he came in. She knew it would be war if she asked who he was talking to. She walks to the bottom of the steps and yells up to the kids: “It is bedtime! Turn off the TVs and cell phones. Go to bed!” She retires to her bedroom, alone, to watch TV. She falls asleep while listening to her husband’s one sided cell phone conversation. He remains in the den, watching TV until the early morning hours before coming to bed.
Scene #3 – The Internet and E-Mails
Fred arrives home from work. His wife is not in the kitchen. He finds her in the study, on the computer. She informs him that the pizza should be delivered shortly. He asks: “How long do you plan to be on the computer? I need to check my e-mail.” She replies: “Not long, I need to respond to a few more e-mails.” The doorbell rings. Flo goes to the door to get the pizza. She calls everyone to the kitchen to get their pizza. The children come with cell
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Adam, Take Your Position
phones in hand. They grab their pizzas with one hand while texting with the other. They return, plate in hand, to their rooms. Fred goes to the kitchen to get his pizza and immediately goes to the study to get on the computer. Fred yells out to his wife: “Did you change the password on the computer?” Flo replies: “No! We need to change it to keep the children from using the internet without our permission” Fred responds: “Oh, OK. I am in! I see that you did not change the password to my email.” She responds: “No. How can I change the password to your email? I do not know your password!” Finishing up in the kitchen, Flo peeks in the study to say, “Good night.” Fred nods his head while keeping his eyes on the computer screen and hands on the keyboard. She retires to her bedroom, alone, to watch television. She is curious, but has no idea who he is sending emails to. He does not ask her who she is emailing and she dare not ask him who he is emailing. She falls asleep to the sound of her husband clicking on the computer into the early morning hours.
Scene #4 – Two Separate Directions
Chapter 4 n Divided We Fall
27
Alarms go off early Sunday morning. Flo drags out of bed to begin her routine to get everyone ready for church. The wife and children eat a quick breakfast and hurry out of the house to attend Jesus Is the Way Church. Fred, with bible in hand, leaves for First Bible Church. Voice of Unity: There looks to be a lot of divisions among you. There is very little communication in the house, except for television and one sided cell phone conversations. Fred, in the episodes shown, you spoke six brief sentences to your wife. Can you recall them? Secret emailing is destructive to the oneness in your relationship. Is it not important for your family to know your associations? Do you not care about who is communicating with your wife and children? Where is your concern about what is going on under your roof? Where is your leadership in your home? You are emailing and talking to Nobody’s Business but Mine. Your wife is communicating to Whomsoever She Desires. Your children are calling and texting to Nobody Cares. Beware that family relationships in the home are important. Do not take your family members for granted. If you are unable to communicate with your wife, your communication with the Father will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). You must eliminate the distractions of the enemy, wherever it raises its ugly head. Satan comes to divide and destroy your home. Fred: It is not a pretty picture. We are definitely not going in the same directions. Fred’s phone rings again: Hello. Flo: The Youth Choir is singing Tuesday night at the revival. Fred Jr. and Keisha have been selected to lead a few songs. They are so excited, but nervous about singing in front of the crowd. Will you be able to come? Fred: You know that I go to bible study at my church on Tuesday night. Flo: It would make us all happy if you’d come and see the children perform.
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Adam, Take Your Position
Fred: I am not sure if it is a good idea for me to be attending other churches. Flo: So, is that a no? Fred: I will let you know. Is there anything else? Flo pauses‌and sighs. There are a few moments of silence before she hangs up the phone.