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It’s a mans world gam By Jonathon Wig
Scripture Mark 16:15 Proverbs 27:17
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Let’s Focus: Why do evangelism specifically among men? What is the context for such a ministry? First we need to recognise that there are different types of men, and there are therefore different reasons why men are not drawn to Christianity. I believe that God the Holy Spirit is stirring men in fresh and relevant ways to show that Jesus Christ and Christianity do not take away manliness, but can enhance and bring out the best qualities of men. Jesus had no problem attracting men – His strong leadership, blunt honesty and bold action mesmerised men. So what is the problem with men, church and Christianity? Look to the local church what is the percentage of men in the congregation;? Average statistics would suggest 70% women to 30% men. Because of this there is an imbalance between the feminine and masculine in church, this is one of the reasons why many men choose to stay away from Christianity and remark that ‘Christianity is for women, wimps and is not relevant.’ There are those men who feel that to be manly means to be macho and so see Christianity as in some way taking away from that - there are others who don’t feel they need to be macho but consider Christianity to be a non-male environment and also not relevant. There is also a feeling among men that you have to be strong and macho and cope with whatever life throws at you – many men turn to alcohol, binge-eating and other addictive behaviours to deal with their problems, many men suffer in silence. Research bears this out in that a staggering 51% of men feel depressed, stressed or anxious at least once a month. These are some of the reasons why we do evangelism amongst men.
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Let’s Reflect: As Christians, God teaches us that we should look at our context with Him, and seek to make Him known. Let us look at some of the principles that we should put in place as we seek to reach out to non-churched or as others would say ‘not yet believing men’. Firstly, we should look at our mission context – factors that should be taken into account are culture, class and ethnicity. Secondly, ask the obvious questions relating to why men consider Christianity not relevant. Thirdly, consider what and where are the points of contact, the networks where Christian men cross over with non-churched men e.g. family, friends, work colleagues, sport clubs, hobbies, other local communities such as football club, or military. Also ask, what are men interested in, what can we do realistically? Statistics that have encouraged evangelism among men – 0.6% of British men attend church weekly. It takes 3 to 5 years on average for a man to come into a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ. • If you lead a child to Christ, 3% of their families follow • If you lead a mother to Christ, 17% of their families follow • If you lead a father to Christ, 93% of their families follow These do not take away from the fact that God intervenes miraculously in a person’s life without any other human intervention. However what they do show is that most men come to know Jesus through a process of time and for this to occur men will be required to be conduits, explaining the good news to other men. (Romans 10:14-15)
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A male environment is essential to attract men. In the UK over the last 20 years not much has happened in terms of direct ministry to men, and consequently the attention of men has not been captured by the church – the window by which men understand Christianity and its relevance. A male environment is also essential for discipleship growth. ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another’ is so apt for men as they do not have many close friends; they may have many colleagues or acquaintances but trusted friends with whom they bond deeply are usually in low numbers. Some men have no firm male friends. Some men find it difficult to start conversations and therefore talking in large groups is difficult other than the usual small talk. Discipleship through friendship sharpens a man’s spirit and passion for Jesus. Two minds acting on each other and two spirits acting on each other sharpens men’s natural and spiritual character – men meeting together in small groups enables opportunity for accountability and encouragement, challenge that provokes a man to understand and accept himself, his weaknesses and his strengths and find his completeness in Jesus Christ. Strong and tough men, shy men, suffering men, angry men, and ordinary men begin to believe in themselves. Generally speaking, men like to be active both physically and mentally. Masculine values that men appreciate such as risk, challenge, adventure, fun, healthy competition and achievement are worth considering when planning any evangelistic events for men; but always take a broad approach as men enjoy many different interests.
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Successful elements have proved to be: • High standard of hospitality (men appreciate things done well) • High fun content • Escapism • Some level of challenge • Unique – an event that a man can go to that he can’t or would not do at home or in his normal social network • Social – any event where men can talk side-by-side or be occupied and talking. Face-to-face talking is difficult and awkward not a natural stance for men • Friendship – men don’t easily share inner emotions or significant issues, men require friendships of substance Examples of events - Giant Scalextric, Radio Control Tanks, Pub Nights, Themed Food Nights, Science & Faith Debate, Adventure Days, Weekends Away, Sports Days and Movies. Prayer is an important part of evangelism and discipling of men. ‘Go everywhere in the world, and tell the Good News to everyone’, including men. Men are hard to reach for Christ; some have likened it to ‘pushing boulders up hill’ and suggested that it ‘can’t be done single-handedly’. To reach men, to keep men, prayer is key; It is a partnership between the Holy Spirit and us but also requires a team effort, standing together to see men set free, empowered and moving forward with a sense of purpose.
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Let’s Discuss: 1. How can we encourage and empower men to use their skills within our ‘churches’ as a means of assisting them to feel like they belong?
2. How committed are you to sharing your faith with a man, whilst knowing that it could be a long time before you get the ‘results’ you want?
3. What encouragement can you give to your church leadership to ensure they account for men in their mission/evangelism plans?
4. What environment do we need to create so that men can share their faith with other men?
5. How can we show men that being a Christian does not diminish masculinity, but actually enhances and brings out the best qualities in men?
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Action: Paul’s story – I was born in Manchester over 50 years ago, I was raised as a Catholic and spent 10 years being nearly brainwashed to death by religion. By my mid teens I had had enough of its hypocrisy and rejected God as not relevant. The Lockerbie bombing and 9/11 terrorist attacks made me realise my attitude to the world needed to change. I became involved with Holy Trinity Church, Aldershot. It was here that I encountered J-men, a social group for men that offers first and foremost fun, as well as adventure, healthy competition, challenge and a little uncertainty. The J-Men introduced me to other Christian guys and the respective journeys they had taken to reach Christ. Listening to their stories made me realise that you could find answers to difficult questions, receive advice on dealing with difficult issues and develop spiritually. Most of all, through J-Men I have developed lasting and dependable friendships I did not think were possible. I was encouraged with my passion in playing guitar and have ended up playing rock and roll songs. I heard about the Alpha Course and went along out of curiosity. I was surprised by the relaxed style and how much sense it made. I have learnt about why people feel a need to worship and why spiritual sustenance is so important, how the Bible is relevant to every day life, I slowly began to realise that God does indeed work in mysterious ways to bring back the lost. As well as now going to church, I have joined a Magnet Group (Men’s Accountability Group Network). The group has proved invaluable in providing support and encouragement for me as a man and a Christian. Would I go back to my past life? No way.
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Prayer: Heavenly Father, assist me to be a good witness to the men who are my friends. Help me to be strong in my faith, energetic in my actions and clear in my words. Bless me with creativity and passion for the way I will evangelise. Open up my heart and mind, that I too may learn from life and its experiences. Amen.
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s e t o N g n i Support uals and d i v i d n I for s r e d a e Group L I remember the first time I prepared to lead a bible study; I was 22 years old and went bald! Well, I think that was down to nature rather than the preparation. However, it was scary as well as exciting. Ring a bell? Then read on‌. The scriptures are littered with stories of God's people being called to do something they feel they are not humanly capable of. Yet it is similarly littered with outcomes of God's people completing what He has called them to undertake and the blessing therein. So let's take those fears and chill a bit, in the knowledge that God will help you, as he has helped countless others. Part of my ministry as an evangelist over the past 10 years has been to encourage and enable, so be encouraged that the Lord is moulding you in leadership. In my experience it helps to know that you do not have to be an expert on the Bible or even a college professor! Essentially it is all about preparation and discussion. Allow God to enable you by His Holy Spirit to lead you with confidence and discernment. Therefore in order to offer some help to you, I have set out below some of the things that have aided me in leading studies in the past.
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Before you begin Studying the scriptures and exploring other people’s experiences of evangelism can be for some, very exciting; for others it can be very daunting indeed. I have put together some suggestions that may help you as you prepare to get the most out of The Fullness of Life. We hope that each week you will be stimulated through the scriptures and through the content on the Web. To find out more about how all of our Evangelists and staff are working at transforming lives and communities visit http://www.churcharmy.org.uk/people to see videos of ministry in action. Each of our contributors to these studies has carefully thought through how you can apply this learning in your own life and context, in order to engage in evangelism. Their questions are designed to challenge and encourage action.
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Studying as an individual Pray: Before you begin each study, ask the Lord to guide you and open your mind. Give yourself time to allow God to stabilise your inner self so that you can apply what you are learning in your life. Time: Give yourself space to learn; the studies are designed that you can learn at a pace that suits you. It may help you to briefly read all seven studies before you begin; this may help you to think about where the studies will take you. Bible: Having your own Bible is important as it will be a book that you will be familiar with. The version that you find most helpful is the best one to use. All Bible verses quoted in these studies are from the New International Version. Notes: Make notes within each study. Remember there are no wrong answers; the beauty about our relationship with God is that He illuminates our life and inspires us by the Holy Spirit. So jot down your response to the question honestly.
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Studying as a group For the leader: These notes may be of some help as you prepare to lead the group either for the first time or as a seasoned veteran! Preparation: Groups are naturally formed of individuals, so be encouraged to follow the points suggested for individuals, as you prepare for your group study. In this way you will find your learning in group study deepens through your preparation. Participation: Discussion is by far the best form of learning. Remember that as the leader you will need to ensure that everyone has their say. No answer is wrong! Share how God is teaching you, how He is encouraging/challenging you, and how He is doing that with others. Be focussed: Stick to the study material being discussed for that week. It has been my intention that you only have to use the scriptures referred to. There is no need to look up commentaries or other views. The core essence of these studies is to reflect upon the evangelistic example given. Therefore the paramount questions of the study are: How can I do this? How do I apply this? Listen: Encouraging all that listening to other members of a group is as important as contributing. If you have an attentive ear, you may be surprised at how much you can learn from others. In parish ministry I was always amazed at how the quiet person sometimes came with a suggestion that was as a blast of fresh air. A balanced input: As group leader you should be able to ensure all have the chance to contribute. It is important that we ensure that individuals do not dominate the discussions. The eagerness one has to share can often be at the cost of others not having time to respond. Therefore encourage one another; after all, the Christian journey really should not be about outsmarting each other. Involve God: God wants to share with each of us; His desire to see us evangelise. Be open to the Holy Spirit talking to you and to your fellow group mates. Most of all have fun discovering new boundaries.
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