Practicing Practical Self-Care

If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’re guilty of putting everyone and everything in your life before your own needs and priorities. But between the everyday stressors of family, jobs and social obligations, and the extra-stressful times we are living in, taking care of ourselves has never been more important.

It’s important to remember that self-care goes far beyond an hour in a Barca lounger with cucumber slices on our eyes and a green juice in hand. Self-care encompasses the intentional practice of learning, supporting and fostering total wellbeing so that we can live our happiest, best and most productive lives.

To learn more, we sat down with Dr. Shainna Ali, mental health counselor, author, and upcoming presenter of Community Education Programs at the Center for Health & Wellbeing (CHWB). Keep reading for more on her approach to practical self-care, her advice on how we become better at practicing it, and her insights on how gratitude and optimism fit into a self-care routine.

CHWB: When some of us consider self-care, we have thoughts of spa days with cucumbers on our eyes while we sip green juice. But that image isn’t necessarily accurate. What is your definition of self-care?

DR. SHAINNA: I encourage folks to think about what self-care means to them, because it does vary from person to person and knowing our personal definitions are key to the practice. The definition that I use is that self-care is recognizing and tending to your needs in the current context. So, you use some examples – cucumbers on the eyes and green juice – and there are some moments when those things can fit into self-care practice. But self-care isn’t that for everyone, and for folks who may have those as part of their practice, it isn’t just that all the time. There are lots of different needs that we might have, and paying attention to where our needs are, and how we can meet them is more of the engaged practice of self-care.

CHWB: Let’s talk about the benefits of prioritizing selfcare. We know we should do it but…why?

DR. SHAINNA: It really should be “what doesn’t self-care benefit?” The truth is that sometimes we are misled to think that self-care is solely for the self. So that means that if you are investing in self-care, your loved ones, your coworkers, and your community suffer, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. When you are investing in yourself, you’re better able to show up in different spaces for yourself and others. The benefits are so broad. Self-care can better regulate your blood pressure, improve your mood, and reduce stress, just to name a few. Again, it’s really hard to think about what doesn’t get better when we commit to practical self-care practice. Unfortunately, many of us learn how essential self-care is when we are living with the consequence of not having it.

CHWB: Does practicing self-care take just that…. practicing? And if so, how do we become better self-care advocates for ourselves?

DR. SHAINNA: There’s a reason why I use that word, practice. First, it requires engaged action, not just the thought of “I should sleep more” or “I should use my phone less.” The thought is a great start, but true self-care happens with action. Framing it as a practice allows us to take a humble approach to the process. There is no echelon we can reach where we don’t need self-care. We all need it, and it needs to be practiced, no matter who you are.

I think people approach self-care in bulk, “I took this class, and I ate this way today, I’m good for some time.” I wish it were that simple! In reality, we need to continue to invest in our self-care over time. Something that can help us over the course of our lives is developing our self-care kit. For some people, it’s something literal. And for some people, it’s a little bit more like a list so that when we recognize a need in a certain dimension of our wellbeing, we have a strategy ready that we can go to.

CHWB: Is there a magic formula for how and how much we prioritize each of the things in our life that matter to us – our jobs, our families, our social connectivity, our self-care?

DR. SHAINNA: I love this question because it’s one that we are diving into deep in the series we’re doing in September at the Center for Health & Wellbeing. I do believe there’s a formula. I also believe that as we change and the world changes, that formula changes. Part of our self-care practice is looking at this recipe and asking, “Is it the same today as it was last year? Is it the same as it will be next year?”

I use an example of someone who just got a new diagnosis that causes their priority to be really spotlighted on their physical health. Sure, it doesn’t mean that your social wellbeing, your spiritual wellbeing or your vocational wellbeing doesn’t matter to you anymore. Based on this context, your formula requires that physical wellbeing is going to take a lot of your time and energy. But that’s appropriate, and that’s really the underpinning to this formula framework.

CHWB: We talk a lot here at CHWB about the principles and attitudes of gratitude and optimism. How do those play into practicing practical self-care?

DR. SHAINNA: Holding both gratitude and optimism are absolutely practices of self-care. Giving yourself space to reflect on what you are grateful for or giving yourself space and grace around any pessimistic thought – those are practices of self-care. Giving yourself time to do that, whether it’s through journaling, whether it’s a meditation, prayer, community, a support group and chatting together, I think that that’s the key to make both gratitude and optimism a priority in your life.

Dr. Shainna is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, educator, and advocate who is passionate about destigmatizing mental health counseling and helping individuals worldwide recognize the importance of fostering mental wellness. She is the creator of The Self-Love Workbook, The Self-Love Workbook for Teens, Luna Finds Love Everywhere: A Self-Love Book for Kids, The SelfLove Planner, and Designing Healthy Boundaries. She has been featured through outlets such as ABC, CBS, NPR Washington

Post, and Insider. Dr. Shainna is the host of The Mental Wellness Practice Podcast and owns a mental health counseling and consulting practice in Central Florida. You can learn more about her on her website, www.DrShainna.com or reach out on Instagram @DrShainna.

This September, Dr. Shainna will present a free four-part series at the Center for Health & Wellbeing designed to help you dig deeply into self-care and learn actionable, research-based steps to prioritize your wellbeing. Learn more and register at YourHealthandWellbeing.org/events.