City Weekly March 17, 2016 by Copperfield Publishing

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

M A R C H 1 7, 2 0 1 6 | V O L . 3 2

There were moments when the 2016 Legislature appeared to really care about the people, but, in the end â&#x20AC;Ś not so much.

By Colby Frazi er & Eric Ethington

N0. 45

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2 | MARCH 17, 2016

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There were moments when the 2016 Legislature appeared to really care about the people, but, in the end ... not so much. Cover illustration by Will Dinski

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LETTERS Looking for Mueller Park Trail

In your Feb. 11 issue, there was an article about Bountiful’s Mueller Park Trail [“Trail Mix,” City Weekly]. I hike weekly in the three canyons east of Salt Lake City, but this trail sounds like a pleasant option. I would appreciate driving directions to reach the trailhead.

PETE SCHWAGER

Salt Lake City Editor’s note: From the U.S. Forest Service’s website: From Salt Lake City, take Interstate 15 North to Exit No. 315 (2600 South) in North Salt Lake. Continue east on 2600 South (Orchard Drive) to 1800 South, then east (right) on 1800 South until it enters the Mueller Park Picnic Area. Trail starts across the trail bridge. The author also recommends visiting this website: AllTrails.com/trail/us/utah/mueller-park-trail

It’s Hard to Shake Utah

Great piece of writing [“Some Thanks,” Private Eye, March 10, City Weekly]. I especially enjoyed the Sen. Mark Madsen angle, and the skullduggery played to win by “the church”—this being simply the latest in a long line I have witnessed over the decades. You know you can’t make this shit up. Don’t have to. We live in Utah and experience the absurd day-in and day-out. My thoughts on living in this state were echoed by several who commented in the Staff Box. I’ve lived on the East

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. Email: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on emailed submissions, for verification purposes. Coast, West Coast, in the big city, small town—always to return. I just can’t shake this state. Utah is like your first girlfriend: far from perfect—but, oh, Lord, wasn’t she sweet and special? Unique, really.

STEVE MICKLEWRIGHT Salt Lake City

A Crime Against Humanity

Many things that are going on in America today show what happens when a nation denies God’s word and then follows man’s ideas of what is right. The nation becomes morally corrupt. In Psalm 14:1 of the Bible, it says, “The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.” One of the latest examples of a corrupt America is evident when you see what happened in the case where concerned American Christians videotaped those involved in the sale of human baby body parts. One of the investigators was indicted and threatened with a 20-year imprisonment. Meanwhile those who were doing “abominable works” weren’t touched. Apparently, the ungodly law, passed and re-approved, by this nations’ top court, is so revered, that there is no oversight whatsoever on those practicing this terrible inhumane injustice. Yes, America, we are not only committing a crime

against God, we are committing a heinous crime against humanity. And yes, senators and congressmen/women, you could have stopped it in 1973, and even now, if you have the guts to stand on God’s word. And his word is “Thou shalt not kill,” and he is talking about the innocent, not the murderers. So ask the present sitting Supreme Court justices to reverse or annul Roe v. Wade and to vote on it within three months. Those judges who vote to continue the murdering of unborn babies are disobeying god’s law, and therefore, not “holding their offices in good behavior.” Meanwhile, start impeaching those justices who completely disregarded God’s laws by approving same-sex marriage. They not only threw your law out, but also completely disregarded “the will of the people.” Wake up, America!

MANUEL YBARRA JR. Coalgate, Okla.

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS General Manager ANDY SUTCLIFFE

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Me and We

I’m nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there’s a pair of us—don’t tell! They’d banish us, you know. —Emily Dickinson Wanna fool around with Emily Dickinson? Try this: Change “nobody” to “Democrat” to elicit a knowing smile from long-suffering lefties after another session of Utah’s Star Chamber Legislature. Or you could substitute “gay Mormon” for “nobody” and get a smile from no one. My interests lie in a different direction, however. Today, it’s pronouns. Bear with me. In 1975, Mohammad Ali gave the commencement address at Harvard University. Renowned for his wit as well as his “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” boxing prowess, Ali was interrupted by a student shouting, “Give us a poem!” Obligingly, he interrupted his speech on friendship, pointed to himself and said, “me.” Then, pointing to the audience, he said “we.” Not quite Dickinsonian but not bad for impromptu verse—two assonant syllables, paired pronouns and a crowd-pleasing example of the I-to-we transition examined in James Pennebaker’s 2011 book, The Secret Life of Pronouns. Like you, I pay no more attention to pronouns than I do to articles like “a” and “the.” I have tried to remember my first insight into the implications of first- and thirdperson pronouns. What comes to mind is the 1960s joke about the Lone Ranger and his faithful sidekick, Tonto. The two men find themselves in a firefight with hundreds of hostile Native Americans. As he loads his last silver bullet, the Lone Ranger says, “We’re done for, Tonto.” To which Tonto replies, “What do you mean we, white man?” A better I-to-we example also predates Pennebaker’s book. I read it in Chapter 14 of The Grapes of Wrath. In the novel, Steinbeck dramatizes how the elite class—the 1-percenters who own the banks, the usedcar lots and the grocery stores—manipulate

BY JOHN RASMUSON

workers’ self-interest to gain advantage. The implicit goal is to prevent an I-to-we transformation—from “I am hungry” to “We are hungry”—with its potential to generate political and economic power. Steinbeck scorns the moneyed, owner class because “the quality of owning freezes [them] forever into ‘I’ and cuts [them] off forever from the ‘we.’” It is hard to imagine anyone but Ebenezer Scrooge and Ted Cruz being frozen in “I,” unwarmed by the congenial “we.” Nevertheless, “I” is the most frequently used word in the English language by far. “We” doesn’t make the top 20 most-used-words list, but “my,” “he,” “it” and “you” do. I-words (I, me, my) signal self-attention, Pennebaker writes. That’s why women use them more than men. Research confirms women are “more self-aware and self-focused” than are men. When it comes to the we-words (we, us, our), both sexes use them at about the same rate. “We” is the chameleon of pronouns, according to Pennebaker. For the most part “we” reflects connection, but it also can be used as a backhanded directive, for example: “We need to stop bickering.” The Royal We is used by such high-ranking people as Queen Elizabeth and Pope Francis in place of “I,” and the Ambiguous We is a favorite of politicians as in, “We need to make this country great again.” (Who? Me? You?) But “we” can also trip up politicians as John Kerry found in 2004. As a campaigner, he came across as aloof and disingenuous. In short, not a guy you would want to have a beer with. Kerry’s image-conscious advisers insisted that he use fewer I-words and more we-words in his speeches. That was bad advice, according to Pennebaker. Politicians using I-words seem honest and personal; those using wewords “sound cold, rigid and emotionally distant”—unless you are Bernie Sanders! Hillary Clinton dispensed with “I” during the Nevada caucus.

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Dickinson, too, dabbles in ambiguity. She uses the I-to-we transition to get us closeted nobodies introduced before the faceless “they” arrives on the scene as menacing as Gayle Ruzicka. Ruzicka, who believes organizations like the Utah Pride Center pose a threat to society, will go nuts when she learns that “they” is morphing into a gender-neutral pronoun. (She might not have noticed that Facebook now offers more than 50 gender options beyond “male” and “female.”) For those who don’t identify as either he or she, “they” is more and more the pronoun of choice as in, “LaVar was happy to find their seat in-between Molly’s and Emma’s.” The change is so significant that the American Dialect Society (ADS) recognized “they” as the 2015 Word of the Year. In doing so, the ADS noted that “they” is also becoming acceptable as a singular pronoun. I saw an example in a recent edition of the Westminster College newspaper, The Forum. An opinion piece by Avenel Rolfsen had sentences like this: “No one in my family has faced violence because of their skin color.” Sure, that’s the way most of us talk, but we old-timers were taught by English teachers to write, “… because of his skin color.” Now, in the post-feminist age of “Ms.,” we write, “… because of his or her skin color.” Microsoft’s grammar checker still prefers “his or her.” “Most pronouns are, by definition, social,” Pennebaker writes. “Words such as “we,” “you,” “she” and “they” tell us that the speaker is aware of and thinking about other human beings.” The self-aware Ms. Dickinson makes the point in 26 words, almost half of which are pronouns. The little, unpretentious words describe an I-to-we arc that takes us from the solitary to the communal. The playful tone of the verse makes nobodies of every stripe feel more connected and more secure. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

THE FACELESS “THEY” ARRIVES ON THE SCENE AS MENACING AS GAYLE RUZICKA.

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What’s your reaction to the genderneutral “they”? Have you embraced it? Mason Rodrickc: “They” is totally reasonable. I don’t mind it at all, and I’m all about people finding themselves and letting people know the pronoun they’d prefer if that’s what they want. But, when someone gets mad at someone for getting their preferred pronoun wrong, that’s when it becomes an argument and nobody wins. “Ugh, doesn’t Xe know that I prefer ‘Starblast’, ‘Starzonton’ and ‘Starself?!” is an example of a sentence that I fear could be hurting more than helping. Jeremiah Smith: I think we should try to come up with a brand new non-gender specific pronoun to refer to people in general. Something non-threatening like “pie” ’cause who doesn’t like pie?

Andrea Harvey: This is a sensitive topic for me. I’m a huge grammar fan, but screw the gender binary in all its evil forms. I wouldn’t say I’ve embraced it, but I’m doing my best. Scott Renshaw: Language is a living, vital thing, and we should embrace the changes that make it more relevant to the modern world. Still, people: Get a grip on the whole “your/you’re” issue.

Pete Saltas: The email that solicited my response to this question included an image of a leprechaun dancing on Bart Simpson’s head, which is all I can think about. What would the leprechaun do? Or what would they do? Is the leprechaun a he, she or they? Do leprechauns have genders or do they just exist at the end of rainbows? Does the leprechaun want to buy an ad? Can someone in editorial tell me what to say? I can’t stop watching the dancing leprechaun.

Jerre Wroble: It’s hard for editors and copy editors to accept changes in bedrock grammar rules. But like, evolve, or die.

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Legislative Relief

STAN ROSENZWEIG

Yes, the Legislature has adjourned. But don’t relax yet. In fact, don’t ever relax. There are lobbyists working full-time against your interests, and Interim is just around the corner. The big tell this year was what everyone calls the Rocky Mountain Power Bill. That’s because RMP wrote it and, somehow—can we say money—convinced legislators that it would be good policy to pass more risk to consumers and have them face rate hikes without the filter of that pesky Public Service Commission. You may ask how the Legislature gets to call itself fiscally conservative by not taking full Medicaid expansion when it spends $53 million to send coal to a California port and endorses a $14 million lawsuit to usurp federal lands. Oh, and don’t forget they sent $250,000 in tax dollars to some odd nonprofit for a legal defense fund for convicted County Commissioner Lyman. Pay attention, Utah.

Air and Billboards

It’s not the best time for clean air or pristine vistas in Utah because it’s all about business these days. Utah Policy reported that the Utah Air Quality Board rejected three proposals to beef up oversight on the state’s biggest industrial polluters. The argument was that it would be burdensome and time-consuming to consider the proposals. As if breathing bad air isn’t burdensome! Also, this year’s Legislature passed a bill by rural cult hero Rep. Mike Noel, R-Kanab, to propagate billboards along scenic byways. All you have to do now is prove to an administrative judge (chosen by the property owner and the scenic byway committee) that it’s not a scenic byway. That basically bypasses local control. Just a side-note: Once a billboard goes up, it could be there forever. “Exempting parts of the road from designation is like tearing pages out of a book: It ruins the story,” wrote Mary Tracy in a Salt Lake Tribune letter.

Singing to the Choir

Just when you think there’s nothing good in the world, along comes National Pi Day. Well, that’s past, but you can still dream. And you can marvel. Even if you’re not a “Christian,” you should take a minute to listen to the Virtual Hallelujah Choir (Bit.ly/1UagPWw). “More than 2,000 people submitted digital files of themselves singing the chorus from Handel’s Messiah. Their voices are blended with the actual Mormon Tabernacle Choir and video boxes with their faces are seen surrounding the choir in the video,” the Deseret News reported. Yeah, you may be used to seeing the MoTab in matching outfits and precision expressions, but now you can see real people with beards and hoodies and faces of color. No kidding.

The City of Cottonwood Heights appears to get way more publicity than other small cities in Utah. It has been both lauded and condemned. It has built parks, trails and bike paths, helped create a new school district, set an example for the rest of Utah with all vote by mail. Then, it negotiated a private snow-removal contract that missed success by a very large margin, and it created a police department that some love and others love to hate. All of it, the good, the bad and the ugly, carry the image of only one mayor in office spanning its 11 year existence, Kelvyn Cullimore Jr.

What’s the big secret that your neighbors don’t know about you?

I was on Family Feud in 1981. If you want to see something comical, get the tape. See (M.C.) Richard Dawson kiss and hug me and my wife. The family tricked me into doing it. They lied and said it would only be an hour. It was all day. Did I jump up and down like crazy contestants are supposed to? Yes, I did.

How did you become CEO of public company Dynatronics Corporation?

In 1984, we had a nice smaller business. We were developing new medical products that we needed to put into clinical trials in order to sell them. That takes a lot of money, so we went public to raise the funds. The trials didn’t go as planned, and the FDA didn’t approve our device, but we have been public ever since.

So, how did you get into politics and why does a CEO of a public company want, or need, this other job?

My dad used to say, “If not you, who?” So, at BYU, I became student body vice president. When I was on mission, I spent a lot of time driving around Quebec, Canada, with the late U.S. Rep. Wayne Owens, our mission president. He taught me a lot about doing the right thing. I was one of the originators of forming Cottonwood Heights and felt I needed to see it through as first mayor. It’s taken more than a decade to get us where we are, but, lately, the job is becoming more maintenance than innovation.

Does it hurt your feelings when the press slams you, or when City Weekly’s publisher called you “the Kelvynator”?

No. When you run for public office you hold yourself out for good and bad. You have to be thick-skinned because, in America, freedom of speech is a right even if it’s different from yours. My regret is that we really need good people to engage, but I fear that so much toxic discourse discourages them from getting involved.

—STAN ROSENZWEIG comments@cityweekly.net

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BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE In Cold Blood If humans could change to become coldblooded, would it be advantageous to us? (Assuming we changed instantly.) —Zayne Johnson And assuming some of us haven’t already made the transition. I mean, try convincing me Vladimir Putin doesn’t have at least a little reptile in him. I kid, of course, but before getting to your question, I’ll just note some research showing how humans can in fact become a little colder-blooded in a hurry: through social exclusion. In one study, after some subjects were excluded from what they thought was a communal computer game—frozen out, you might say—their skin temperature measured 1.3 degrees Fahrenheit lower than subjects who’d gotten to play. Other experiments have likewise confirmed that temperature influences our interpersonal skills, such that when folks are warmer, they’re more likely to engage in social behavior; simply raising the temperature of the room can improve relations within a group. Need a converse data point? Take the Donner Party: when the going got cold, the cold ate each other. These are minor, temporary fluctuations, of course, and you’re apparently thinking bigger and bolder, Zayne. OK, but first we should be clear on what we mean. “Coldblooded” is layperson-speak, and corresponds to several overlapping technical terms describing an animal’s metabolism and how much variance in body temperature it can handle. The concept we’re really interested in here, though, is ectothermy. Ectothermic animals—reptiles, amphibians, fish and invertebrates, basically—don’t generate significant body heat; their external surroundings determine their internal temperature, which they can only regulate via behavior: seeking out sunlight or shade, burrowing, etc. (This limitation is called poikilothermy, but let’s keep things moving.) Endotherms, by contrast—birds and mammals, including us—maintain consistent body temperature using their own metabolic heat, and can regulate it physiologically as needed (by shivering or sweating, for example). The primary advantage endotherms have over ectotherms is the ability to thrive in a wider variety of climes, whereas the big advantage for ectotherms is lower food consumption, meaning a higher carrying capacity for the habitats they do live in. So humans becoming ectothermic—out of the question, right? Not so fast. That first fish crawling out of the primordial sea was cold-blooded, and we evolved from it—suggesting that creatures can change teams, thermoregulation-wise, but it’s likely to take a while. If somehow we were to manage it on the expedited schedule you propose, though, here are a few practical effects the switch might occasion: n Life would go by at a different pace. Because ectothermic creatures rely on external temperatures for energy, we’d have to spend some time lolling in the sun each

morning before we were really able to get going—like drinking coffee, but cheaper. Wintertime? You might want to set up a few heat lamps in your house, lest you run the risk of descending into a state of torpor. On the other hand, your Facebook habits probably already primed you for this. n With torpor on the menu of metabolic options, though, space travel should be much easier for cold-blooded humans—kind of like the “cryosleep” you see in sci-fi (which, by the by, NASA-funded research really is exploring as a means of enabling long-distance missions—say, to Mars). A cold-blooded crew could survive at low temperatures for much longer than a warm-blooded one, allowing them to travel months, maybe years, on minimal resources. This won’t make the trip to Alpha Centauri any quicker, of course, but time flies when you’re torpid. n Come to think of it, combing the universe for other habitable locales might start to look like a pretty good idea. Back here on earth, land-dwelling ectotherms tend to do best in a temperature range of about 70 to 105 degrees Fahrenheit. So, provided we wanted to lead reasonably active lives, ectothermic people would likely gravitate toward latitudes close to the equator, and presumably give rise to the kinds of malign side effects that come with large-scale human migration: overcrowding, resource depletion, political destabilization. Think Cancun’s packed now? Just wait till it’s beset by lizard people. Then again, there’s global warming to consider. If the world gets too hot, those warmer regions might not end up being so attractive to the cold-blooded version of us after all, or for that matter to any ectotherms. We don’t have to speculate alone on this topic: The co-author of a 2009 paper described the outlook for tropical ectotherms as “catastrophic,” given the narrow range of temperatures in which they’re comfortable. Too cold, they can’t move; as it becomes too hot for them, though, they’ll spend all their time searching for shady spots—which, with deforestation, are already disappearing— thus reducing the amount of time they’re able to look for food or reproduce. We’re talking about everything from crocodiles all the way down to insects; you can’t take a swathe of creatures like that out of the food chain without some major repercussions. So not to get too cheery here or anything, but: If by some future miracle, humans are able to render ourselves cold-blooded, we’ll already have foreclosed the possibility of living successfully that way on Earth. n Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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NEWS The 2016 Foilies

T R A N S PA R E N C Y

Does Gmail work

Some government agencies are so bad at handling public records requests, they deserve an award. BY THE ELECTRONIC FRONTIER FOUNDATION comments@cityweekly.net

ast spring, Shoshana Walter with the Center for Investigative Reporting filed a routine public records request with the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department for a story on a rogue firearms instructor. The request was unceremoniously denied, so Walter did exactly what reporters do in that situation: she pushed back. Moments later, she received an email that she was never meant to see. “Okay, now what? She is being a pain. Do we ask Peter what to do with her?” wrote the public servant handling the request. The official immediately tried to recall the message. Within an hour, the sheriff’s department had a sudden change of heart and agreed to release the information. Meanwhile, all Walter could do was commiserate with other transparency advocates on the #FOIAFriday thread on Twitter. Scroll through #FOIAFriday tweets, and you’ll find that Walter’s story is far from uncommon. In fact, the only thing unique is that, for once, Walter caught a glimpse of the cavalier attitude many government agencies take toward transparency. March 13-19 is Sunshine Week, the season in which open-government activists around the country make as much noise as possible about the need to reform laws on access to information, whether that’s the federal Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) or state-level laws, such as Utah’s Government Records Access and Management Act (GRAMA). Journalists, government watchdogs and regular citizens around the country encounter weak excuses, flagrant stonewalling and retaliation from government officials on a daily basis. That’s why, to celebrate Sunshine Week, the Electronic Frontier Foundation created “The Foilies,” our name-and-shame awards for agencies and officials who stand in the way of transparency and accountability. Join us on this journey as we examine some of the most ridiculous experiences members of the public have faced while pursuing James Madison’s 1822 advice: “Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.”

The “Old School” Award: Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis

in Benghazi? The Self-Server Award: Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton The homebrewed email server former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton used during her time in office was lighter on complying with the spirit of FOIA than that watered-down lager brewed in your cousin’s closet. And just like your cousin deciding which buddies get to share in the homemade suds, Clinton herself decided which of her emails to share with the public and then deleted 30,000 of them. Transparency advocates and journalists are right to criticize Clinton for using an insecure private email server, but it is important to remember that her story is merely the highest-profile example of a public official misusing technology to stifle public oversight. For years, officials at the local, state and federal levels have been using private communications to shield their work from public scrutiny—New York Gov. Anthony Cuomo has communicated exclusively with Blackberry PIN messaging to avoid creating any records, and high-level White House officials used their private email to conduct government business. There are, sadly, dozens of other instances of governors, city councilmembers and county commissioners doing the same thing. When officials use private communications for work, they are not just potentially violating open records laws, they are stymieing the public’s ability to understand operation of their elected government and to hold those officials accountable for their actions. Clinton deserves this award, but so does every official who seeks to hide his or her actions from the public by using private communications systems.

Kim Davis, the Rowan County Clerk in Kentucky, ignited a national controversy last year when she was jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. MuckRock News’ Shawn Musgrave filed two requests for emails from that period, including emails covering the time when she supposedly scheduled a meeting with Pope Francis. It turned out that marriage wasn’t the only issue where Davis took a “traditional position.” Rather than provide the 6,000 or so communications to MuckRock in a digital format, she insisted she was “old school on this email stuff,” and instead asked for $1,200 for print-outs, despite the Kentucky Open Records Act requirement that electronic records be available in an electronic format. After a lengthy back-and-forth, Davis finally complied with the law and began forwarding the records.

Worst Definition of Terrorism: State of Georgia Transparency advocate Carl Malamud’s Public.Resource.Org has been on a quest to make sure people have access to the laws that govern them. A righteous and benign endeavor, right? Well, not according to the state of Georgia, which is suing the organization for publishing a searchable and downloadable scan of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated. Georgia claims to hold the copyright in the laws, and by publishing them, Public.Resource.Org is not only engaged in piracy, but employing “a strategy of terrorism.” Just to be clear: reading a state’s annotated statutes might bore some people to death, but publishing the laws of the land has never killed anyone. Full disclosure: EFF represents Malamud and Public.Resource.Org in similar lawsuits around the country, but not the Georgia case.

Most Expensive FOIA Fee Estimate: Department of Defense

Last year, we issued this award to the Drug Enforcement Administration for asking for $1.46 million in fees to process a FOIA request related to the capture of Mexican drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán (and that’s even before he escaped, was interviewed by Sean Penn and then was recaptured). This year, the Pentagon makes the DEA’s assessment look like pocket change. When MuckRock user Martin Peck asked for the number of “HotPlug” devices (a tool used to preserve data on seized computers), the agency came back with a whopping $660 million fee estimate to “perform the necessary redactions of proprietary data.” The Secretary of Defense claimed it has no way to do a text search of its document system, so it would take 15 million labor hours to do the search and redact the documents. By MuckRock’s calculations: “15 million labor hours breaks down into 625,000 days, or a little over 1,712 years. So assuming one DOD employee started working on this nonstop tomorrow, they’d finish somewhere in the summer of 3728.”

Gitmo, Get Less Award: Department of Defense

Miami Herald reporter Carol Rosenberg has been covering Guantanamo Bay for more than a decade, and that’s how long its taken the Department of Defense to release information on the costs of running the offshore detention facility for enemy combatants in the “War on Terror.” In 2004, a DOD official started compiling answers to her questions, but later informed her he was under orders not to release the information. So, Rosenberg filed a formal FOIA request in February 2005, received a rejection and then appealed. In 2015, almost 4,000 days later, she received an apology for the delay and a decision that the secrecy was unwarranted. She received three pages of information that showed the tens of millions spent to maintain the controversial facility in its first years.

Special Prize: Drunk Dialing for Public Records: New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez

The United Kingdom also has a Freedom of Information Act, and last year, a new body was formed to review the state of play (read: investigate whether transparency is too expensive and invasive). But at its first meeting in 2015, the Independent Commission on Freedom of Information announced a ludicrously ironic set of ground rules for reporters. As The Guardian reported, the meeting would be “off-the-record,” and journalists could not quote anyone. Transcripts weren’t published, either.

The Timey-Wimey Award: City of Wilmington, Delaware

In October, Wilmington Mayor Dennis Williams had to clarify that he had not endorsed Secretary Hillary Clinton for president after the campaign had listed his name on her website. The next day, America Rising, a conservative opposition research organization, filed a records request for all communications to and from the mayor’s public relations team for that single, tumultuous day. Here’s where the timeline gets bizarre: America Rising filed the request on October 21, asking for communications that were exchanged on October 20. Instead, the city said that America Rising had demanded the request be fulfilled by October 20, one day before the request was actually filed. The city denied the request, essentially claiming they lacked the time travel capabilities to respond. Since then, America Rising has clarified its request twice, and it’s still pending. The Electronic Frontier Foundation is a nonprofit organization that defends free speech, privacy, innovation and transparency in the digital world. The Foilies were compiled by Dave Maass, Aaron Mackey and Parker Higgins of EFF, with assistance from Michael Morisy and JPat Brown of MuckRock News.

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Local governments hate gadflies—those tenacious citizens who troll public meetings at every opportunity. The city of Inglewood in California thought it would use copyright law as a swatter, suing local resident Joseph Teixeira. Teixeira had been posting video clips from city council meetings (which are public records) to YouTube with his own DVD-Bonus-Feature-style commentary, accusing officials of lying and betraying their constituents. Teixeira won the case in federal court in August, proving that trying to use copyright law to silence critics is a waste of everyone’s time and tax dollars.

This year, we received three separate nominations in which FOIA officials were absurdly mindful of the privacy of animals. Reporter Elizabeth Dinan found on at least two occasions that the Portsmouth Police Department in New Hampshire were redacting the names of lost and loose dogs from its blotters. Meanwhile, MuckRock contributor Carly Sitrin found that New Jersey initially refused to release the necropsy results for a dolphin that died in the South River, citing the dolphin’s “medical privacy.” The state later reversed course. The prize, though, goes to the Oregon State Legislature, which renewed a law exempting the names of people who sell laboratory animals to Oregon Health & Sciences University, ostensibly to protect vendors from overzealous animal-rights activists. InvestigateWest reporter Lee van der Voo obtained records (released seemingly by accident by the Oregon Department of Agriculture) that illustrated the pitfalls of shielding an industry from scrutiny. As it turns out, one of the primary primate dealers to the university had previously served time for illegally smuggling orangutans as part of the infamous “Bangkok Six” case.

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Copywrong Award: City of Inglewood

Beasts of Privacy Award: Oregon State Legislature

The Department of Justice believes that exhibits it used in open court when prosecuting a doctor convicted of illegally distributing prescription drugs are not, in fact, public records. The DOJ staked out this curious position in a long-running FOIA dispute with Rhode Island-based reporter Phil Eil after he filed a request for copies of the exhibits prosecutors used during the 2011 trial of Dr. Paul Volkman. After stalling for several years and requiring Eil to sue for the records, the DOJ proposed to release the records in heavily redacted form. Of course, anyone who attended the trial would have been able to see the records without the DOJ’s redactions, which the DOJ claims were in part necessary to protect law-enforcement concerns, despite airing those records in open court.

The Sacramento News & Review filed a public records request with the city of Sacramento for communications from Mayor Kevin Johnson’s office regarding how the former basketball star and his staff allegedly engineered the collapse of the National Conference of Black Mayors. The city attorney agreed the emails were public, but then Johnson’s legal team threatened to file a lawsuit against SNR unless they abandoned their quest for transparency. The newspaper refused, Johnson sued and now the story has been stalled as the case plays out through a protracted legal process. It remains to be seen whether the case will wrap up before Johnson leaves office next year.

Ministry of Silly Talks Award: UK Independent Commission on Freedom of Information

The U.S. Army wasn’t happy with The New York Times reporter Dave Philipps’ investigation into concussions at West Point. As documents show, Army officials came up with a plan to undercut his story by stalling the release of FOIA documents until they could publish their own report. What’s worse is that this wasn’t the first time they’d pulled this trick. As Army surgeon general Lt. Gen. Patricia D. Horoho said, according to a meeting summary, “Timing is everything with this stuff. We were able to do something similar … when The Colorado Springs Gazette attacked them with treatment of wounded warriors last year—killed any scrutiny from the media and killed their story.”

Exhibit Inhibition Award: Department of Justice

Sue the Messenger Award: Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson

The Houston Chronicle was researching a reported spike in crime along the Mexican border by filing Open Records Act requests for crime data with sheriffs across south Texas. None of the sheriffs asked the Chronicle to pay records fees, except for one: The Willacy County Sheriff provided Brian M. Rosenthal with an itemized invoice for $339.60 that included—wait for it—$98.40 worth of Wite-Out. Based on Staples pricing, that’s a full 55 bottles worth of redaction or one bottle of WiteOut per 18 pages of responsive documents.

Head Trip Award: U.S. Army Surgeon General

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New Mexico media outlets have been battling against Gov. Susana Martinez’ stalling tactics with records requests basically since she was elected to office in 2010. Yet, when it comes to her own requests for public information, Martinez is a little impatient. Last year, Martinez was partying in a room at a downtown Santa Fe hotel when the police responded to complaints of noise and bottles being tossed off the balcony. While still at the hotel, a furious Martinez called 911 and demanded to know the name of the person who filed the complaint. As the released dispatcher recording revealed, Martinez demanded: “It’s a public record—give it to me.” We’re a little sympathetic: The world would be a better place if we could all get public records on demand with a simple phone call. Unfortunately, that’s not the case yet, apparently not even for governors. Martinez claims she’d only had one cocktail, but witnesses told police she was visibly “inebriated.” She later claimed, “nothing that I said or did was as a result of any alcohol.” That’s almost worse, isn’t it?

Correction Fluid Award: Willacy County Sheriff, Texas

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CHOCOLATE & CHEESE FEST

Who doesn’t need chocolate after that Utah legislative session? The Natural History Museum of Utah placed its annual Chocolate & Cheese Festival at the perfect time, so if you’ve had your fill of idiocy, you can drown your sorrows in your favorite foods. NHMU will have a variety of workshops including Chocolate Tasting 101 with Matt Caputo and Cheese Tasting 101 with Mariah Christensen, director of specialty cheeses for Harmons. You should pre-register for workshops—including some for kids— which sell out fast. Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, 801-581-6927, March 19, 10 a.m.5 p.m.; March 20, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., regular admission, NHMU.Utah.edu

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Nine new cocktails to try on St. Patrick’s Day this year:

1. No Officer, I’m not drunk. I’m just Highball.

2. Hillary Wallbanger 3. Trump on the Beach 4. Jäger-Domestic Terror Threat 5. Not Gay, No, Just Daquirious 6. Rubio Colada 7. Give Me Another Biskupski. 8. Bourbon Sanders 9. Whiskey Dick Nixon

Get pumped for the sixth annual Hurricane Mountain Bike Festival, a three-day event with one-of-a-kind riding trails hosted by Over the Edge Sports, from March 18-March 20. The weekend will include special riding trails, live entertainment, games, prizes, pancake breakfasts, a Dutch-oven dinner and a beer garden. Ever heard of a “pump track?” It’s a new recreational activity for parents and kids. Instead of pedaling, riders use an up-and-down pumping motion to propel the bicycle forward—ideal for practicing balance and improving confidence on the bike. Hurricane Community Center, 63 S. 100 West, Hurricane, 435-635-5455, March 18-20, $55 festival pass, HurricaneMtBFestival.com

T-SHIRT DESIGN CONTEST

This year you don’t have to just experience the art, you can become part of it as the Utah Arts Festival launches a contest for Original T-Shirt Design. Up to four winning designs will be reproduced on hundreds of T-shirts, to be sold at Library Square during the 40th anniversary festival. Each individual who enters will receive two tickets to the 2016 festival, and the winning designers will be awarded bragging rights plus eight individual 2016 tickets and two “Friends for a Day” passes. Email submissions to Amanda Neff, amanda@uaf.org, before midnight, Friday, March 25, 801-322-2428, UAF.org

—KATHARINE BIELE

Submit events to editor@cityweekly.net

S NEofW the

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

WEIRD

Take That, Portland! Seattle’s ambitious Office of Arts & Culture has allocated $10,000 this year to pay a poet or writer to create a work while present on the city’s Fremont Bridge drawbridge. The office’s deputy director told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in January that the city wants to encourage “public art” and that the grant will oblige the recipient to create a work of prose or poetry from the bridge’s northwest tower, to help the people of Seattle understand the function of art in the city. (The artist will not be “in residence,” for the tower has no running water.) The Continuing Crisis The dominant-submissive lifestyle soared to higher-brow status in February when The New York Times reported on the recent marriage of the celebrated composer of “moody, queasy” works (and compulsive dominant) Georg Friedrich Haas to Mollena Williams, who blogs introspectively about her own kinky bondage as “The Perverted Negress.” Friedrich had introduced himself to her on a dating site with the note, “I would like to tame you,” and credits her acceptance for his improved productivity— because, he said, “I am not (any longer) disturbed by unfulfilled thoughts.” Although Williams-Haas is a black woman submitting to a white man, she explained that, “To say I can’t play my personal psychodrama out just because I’m black, that’s racist.”

Bright Ideas The roadside billboard giant Clear Channel Outdoor Americas announced in February that it would soon be recording the cellphone locations of drivers who pass the company’s signs in 11 cities in order to give advertisers more information on how to pitch products to people with those particular travel patterns and behaviors. Clear Channel asserts that no individual identifications would be sought, but privacy advocates fret about potential abuses, and even a Clear Channel executive acknowledged that the program “does sound a bit creepy.” (On the other hand, as Clear Channel pointed out to The New York Times, cellphone users’ locations and characteristics are already being extensively monitored by advertisers.)

n Rob Moore, 32, was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession in Marathon, Fla., in February, but he had only come to police attention when an officer heard him banging on the trunk of his car from the inside. Without follow-up reporting, Moore’s story was that he was looking for something in the trunk, fell in, and couldn’t get out.

Least Competent Criminals Anthony Nemeth, 26, seeking pain medication but lacking a prescription, leaped over the pharmacy counter of a Walgreens in Bradenton, Fla., in February and demanded a supply. Customer David West, 25, standing at the counter with his girlfriend, ended the “robbery” with four quick punches, sending Nemeth to the floor. (West is a competitive boxer and reportedly a former state champion.) n Wheelchair-user Betty Jeffery, 76, was briefly the victim of a purse-snatching in Pitsea, England, in February. She appeared vulnerable, but in fact is a former national arm-wrestling champion and slugged the young female thief in the face, slowing her down and leading her to drop the purse as she fled.

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Didn’t Think It Through Simon Chaplin, 62, thought he had cleverly evaded police near Hebron, England, recently (thus avoiding a speeding ticket) by employing a do-it-yourself, James Bond-style smokescreen device on his Peugeot sedan, facilitating a smoggy getaway. Initially, baffled police officers were forced to hang back, but of course as the haze broke, they merely followed the smoke trail up ahead and caught Chaplin (who was convicted in Swansea Crown Court in February).

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Not the Usual Suspects A then-married couple, both graduates of elite California law schools, were convicted of felonies and went to jail briefly two years ago for a criminal scheme inexplicably tawdry—and in February 2016 lost a resultant civil lawsuit for $5.7 million to the scheme’s victim. A woman at their child’s school had referred to the lawyers’ son as “slow,” enraging Kent Easter (University of California at Berkeley) and then-wife, Jill (UCLA), who retaliated by planting drugs and paraphernalia in Kelli Peters’ car and

Nothing More to See Here? Andrew McNeil, 34, was arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in January and charged with disturbing the peace. According to the police report (and lacking follow-up reporting by local news outlets), McNeil was found around 11 p.m. naked and “covered in sawdust.”

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n “Medical” marijuana will take on a new meaning soon if the Food and Drug Administration approves Foria Relief cannabis vaginal suppositories for relieving menstrual pain (from the California company Foria). Currently, the product is available only in California and Colorado, at $44 for a four-pack. The company claims the inserts are targeted to the pelvic nerve endings, but International Business Times, citing a gynecologist-blogger, noted that the only studies on the efficacy of Foria Relief were done on the uteruses of rats.

Can’t Possibly Be True Vicky Leyton, 72, announced her retirement recently in Benidorm, Spain, over health concerns, but the lady’s 30-year run in her one-of-a-kind, “Sticky Vicky” magic show can hardly be forgotten by the 6 million fans who have witnessed it. Trained as a ballerina but emulating magicians who pull rabbits out of top hats, Vicky extracted an impressive array of items, also—from the body cavity that is occasionally the subject of News of the Weird stories. One review in Spain’s El Pais newspaper described a typical inventory: fluffy flags, flowers, ping-pong balls, sausages, eggs, a string of razor blades, a bottle and a light bulb (that was aglow!).

Mon-Fri 5am-2:30pm I Sat 7am-12 pm

n “Microaggression”: In its brand-new communications stylebook this year for city workers, San Diego officials noted that the city’s then-upcoming Presidents’ Day announcements should, to be bias-free and inoffensive, never refer to America’s “Founding Fathers”—even though they were all males—but only to “founders.”

n The online-pornography colossus Pornhub’s charity fundraising promotion during February benefited the Moclips Cetological Society (“Save the Whales”) in honor of World Whale Day on Feb. 13. Its news release celebrated whales’ sexuality—that they, like humans, do not limit their horniness to procreation. The company said it would, from Feb. 8 to Feb. 29, donate a penny for every 2,000 videos played on its ubiquitous free websites. (That offer might appear modest, but a Seattle Post-Intelligencer reporter noted, over the first two days, the world’s porn consumers had played 532 million videos—earning the charity $2,660.)

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New World Order Exasperated, Columbia County (Pennsylvania) District Judge Craig Long felt the need to post a sign outside his courtroom in January informing visitors that they should not wear pajamas to court. However, even Judge Long acknowledged that his admonition was not enforceable and that he was merely trying to encourage minimal standards.

then, a man identified via circumstantial evidence as Kent (with an accent as if from India), called in a DUI tip to police, resulting in Peters’ arrest. According to Peters, neither perpetrator has ever expressed remorse, and although Kent admitted to “stupidity,” he now complains that Peters does not deserve her windfall (like a “Powerball winner,” he said).

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m e h T t Le

There were moments when the 2016 Legislature appeared to really care about the people, but, in the end … not so much.

By Colby Frazier and Eric Ethington comments@cityweekly.net

n some baseball leagues, there is a rule—the mercy rule—that’s used when one team is beating another so badly, the umpire lifts his mask and declares the game over. In Utah, there’s a constitutionally mandated mercy rule built into the Legislature, requiring, forcing, limiting, restricting and demanding that this body of 104 souls meets no longer than 45 days. Lobbyists with money on the line and bills languishing in the final days might view this timeline as tyrannical, but warm-blooded citizens of Utah will remember 2016 as a year when this time limit was merciful. For, what if the Legislature met for 90, 120 or an unlimited number of days, as do lawmakers in other states? What if? All anyone knows is that in 45 short days, the Utah Legislature lived up to its reputation as a body thoroughly dominated by special interests as it invested hundreds of millions of dollars in a coal-shipping port in California and dubious water-pipeline projects, while simultaneously insisting it lacks sufficient funds to expand Medicaid and properly fund public education. Yet, for every skull-thumping oddity that took place, an opportunity seemed to exist for redemption. For instance, the Legislature came within a yard of ending the death penalty, but in the last minute, decided it wanted to keep killing people. A pair of dueling medical-marijuana bills—one from Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Saratoga Springs, that extolled the medicinal benefits of the entire pot plant—fizzled and died after they essentially killed each other. Then, as if acting with animus toward women, the Legislature lodged itself between women seeking abortions and the doctors who help them by requiring that fetuses receive anesthesia before being aborted. A bill that would have given teeth to Utah’s flimsy hate-crime laws failed, quite possibly at the behest of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which cheerleaded its demise in order, as it claimed, to preserve the “balance” achieved when the Legislature passed an anti-discrimination law in 2015. Those fighting a yearslong battle to see Utah provide health insurance to roughly 100,000 uninsured residents who don’t qualify for Medicaid and can’t

afford private health insurance plans were placated with a bill that covers a small fraction of residents while the state failed to accept the bulk of the hundreds of millions of dollars that the federal government would return to Utah if Medicaid were expanded. People are one thing, though, and the natural world is another. For the latter, which is voiceless and defenseless against humans with bulldozers and earth-movers, the world will continue to grow smaller. For a body that demurred on Medicaid expansion under the guise of being broke, vast sums of cash were mined from previously untapped sources and made available this session. The will of a single lawmaker, Sen. Stuart Adams, RLayton, helped funnel $53 million in taxpayer money to build a deep-water shipping port in Oakland, Calif., ensuring that rural Utah communities will long continue to rely on the boom-and-bust whims of global mining conglomerates, and that Utah’s coal will make it into exciting new markets where it will aid in the befouling of the atmosphere and hasten global climate change. Using an apparently unlimited amount of political capital, Adams, a developer, also managed to divert tens of millions of dollars away from transportation earmarks to the Water Infrastructure Restricted Account, which was set up in 2015 by Adams to fund the Lake Powell and Bear River pipelines. By 2023, this account will warehouse $165 million in taxpayer money. If all of this stuff makes you want to move to another state, or even another country, you’re not alone. After watching his medical-cannabis bill get torpedoed in the House, Madsen said he, his wife and five children will, in short order, be moving far away from Utah. It would be disingenuous to attribute Madsen’s decision to any of the issues listed above, with the exception of his medical-marijuana bill. Madsen, a firm libertarian, says he’s tired of being over ruled by his colleagues who seem intent on restricting freedom, rather than protecting it. “I’m concerned that the people I’m serving with, or at least many of them, are much more inclined to rule me than represent me,” Madsen says. With that, raise a glass to the conclusion of the 2016 Legislature, and be glad for mercy. —Colby Frazier

MediPot

In Utah, where children and adults alike are shielded from the terrifying sight of a bartender shaking the hell out of a cocktail mixer, it’s not surprising that a second effort by Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Saratoga Springs, to make Utah the 24th state to permit sales of medical marijuana crashed and burned in the hands of the Legislature. Madsen’s Senate Bill 73, which would have provided cannabis to roughly 2 percent of Utahns who need it, and initially aimed to make the entire pot plant available as medicine, cleared its first hurdle on Feb. 4 in the Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Committee, on a 4-1 vote. Eighteen days later, Madsen’s bill cleared the Senate on a 15-13 vote. But so, too, did a rival bill, Senate Bill 89, which would have made cannabidiol more widely available to patients, keeping actual marijuana out of the hands of those who say its psychoactive powers has soothed their cancer, halted their seizures and provided a more healthy and less addictive way to treat pain than their opiate-filled medicine cabinets. The specter of SB89, Madsen says, haunted his bill for much of the past year. And it stalked SB73 until March 7, when both bills wound up being considered by the House Health and Human Services Committee, which swiftly killed Madsen’s bill on a 4-8 vote. Madsen had tough words for some of the committee members, whom he says told him that a quick read of his bill wasn’t even worth their time, since they knew they were going to stab it in the heart. And, by the time the session ended, Madsen’s claim that SB89 had been crafted for the sole purpose of slaughtering his bill was realized, as it failed to receive a vote from the full House, leaving marijuana and its oils carrying a big, fat zero. “The other bill was drafted from the get-go with the purpose of torpedoing my bill—muddying the water, creating confusion—and it was ultimately effective for its purpose,” Madsen says. Madsen, who is retiring from the Legislature after a 12-year run, provided a candid view of how political gamesmanship and ignorance can blow up the work of Utah’s elected leaders. It’s important to note that, while many may write off the possibility of Utah permitting legal sales of marijuana as ludicrous, Madsen believed that, if his bill made it to the House floor, it had a good shot at passing. That fact, he says, made it all the more important to receive a fair committee hearing.

Eat Coa l

Medicaid Expan … er … Extension

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More than a few lawmakers were celebrating as the 2016 legislative session drew to a close, patting themselves on the back for finally passing “Medicaid expansion.” The problem, however, as critics have fiercely pointed out, is that what the Legislature passed actually has nothing to do with the Medicaid expansion program of the Affordable Care Act. Lawmakers have already dithered away the years of free expansion Utah could have received had it joined the more than 30 other states who accepted full expansion. But now, instead of passing the type of expansion intended under the Affordable Care Act (which comes with a 90-10 payment match from the feds), lawmakers ended up passing what would more accurately be described as an “extension”: one year of Medicaid coverage for Utah’s chronically homeless and a few others. Because it only extends to 16,000 of the most needy, the new law authored by House Majority Leader Jim Dunnigan, R-Taylorsville, will only be covered by the feds at the current 70-30 rate. To qualify for Dunnigan’s new plan, one needs to be “chronically” homeless, recently released from prison or mentally ill. That doesn’t mean all of Utah’s homeless will now qualify, however, because the bill specifically says only those who have been homeless for more than a year will actually qualify. There are also income restrictions. Dunnigan’s bill set the income cap at $0 for Utah’s side, so a childless adult can only make up to 5 percent of the federal poverty level (about $49 per month) before earning too much to qualify. The income restriction applies no matter which of the three groups you fall into: chronically homeless, recently released from prison or mentally ill. Adults with children can only make up to 55 percent of the federal poverty level. One of the most interest-

ing things to come out of the debate around Dunnigan’s bill was the complete fracturing of the coalition that had stood so firm behind full Medicaid expansion for the past few years. While legislative Democrats and the Utah Democratic Party stood firmly in opposition to Dunnigan’s bill as not going far enough, Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams and Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski—Democrats who work directly with their homeless populations—were strongly in favor of the law, even holding a press conference with Dunnigan to lend their support. Homeless advocate Pamela Atkinson lent her name to the bill, but liberal advocacy group Alliance for a Better Utah strongly opposed it. Utah Health Policy Project, on the other hand, remained very quiet during the debate, telling City Weekly that it was remaining neutral because, while it agreed that getting coverage to the 16,000 “poorest of the poor” Utahns is a good thing, the nonprofit is concerned that lawmakers will look at this as a job well done and never again revisit the subject of Medicaid expansion. And there are still tens of thousands of working Utah families who don’t have health care. (Eric Ethington)

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Knowing that many of the Health and Human Services Committee “positively swoon when they see a badge,” as Madsen puts it, and that law enforcement was united in its opposition to the bill, he knew a fair hearing was unlikely. Nevertheless, he was assured by House Speaker Greg Hughes, R-Draper, that a fair hearing he would get. Yet, according to Madsen, the hearing was anything but. “I just frankly don’t really consider it a fair hearing when I have committee members telling me, ‘Why should I bother to read your bill or talk to you when I know I’m going to vote against it anyway based on the things that I’ve heard about your bill?’” Madsen says. Madsen and medical-marijuana advocates say a ballot initiative could be the next step but, due to time constraints, would not likely make it onto the ballot until 2017. As for Madsen, who calls himself a “Jeffersonian Republican” and says his guiding principle of freedom and individual liberty has fueled his time in elected office, he intends to move to South America. His battle over marijuana with his fellow Republicans may have been the tipping point, but he says a string of anti-freedom laws emanating from the Legislature over the years cemented his belief that Utah could never be his permanent home. The grandson of the late Mormon president, Ezra Taft Benson, Madsen says he and his family have “always been on our way somewhere else,” noting he was born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Denver. “The policy that comes from the Utah Legislature—and I can say this with authority now after being here 12 years—is not friendly or conducive or inviting to somebody who wants to live their life the way I want to live it.” As for the eight people who voted against his bill, Madsen—who was puzzled that the committee didn’t ask a single question about his bill—was unsparing in what he hopes Utah voters do at the ballot box. “Those eight people, with their vote, cast a lot of misery, and I think it was improper for them to take the issue that is so important to so many so lightheartedly,” Madsen says. “It was humiliating, it was frustrating and it was a very poor reflection on the institution of the Legislature. I really do hope that their constituents think better of returning them to elected office.” (CF)

For example, on Feb. 11, the bill was debated on the Senate floor. During the hearing, Sen. Allen Christensen, R-North Ogden, asked Adams if “this is the Lake Powell Pipeline funding proposition or the Bear River Diversion proposition?” Adams responded, saying that the money goes into a restricted account, and that “none of the money can be used for the Lake Powell Pipeline or the Bear River project.” Adams continued, noting that although the account specifically states that its monies can be spent on these two projects, it also notes that the money can be used to pay for maintenance projects. Adams’ 2015 bill was quite clear about what money in the restricted account would be spent on: “The development of the state’s undeveloped share of the Bear and Colorado Rivers.” The bill cleared the Senate on a 19-10 vote, and passed the House 48-26 after Adams agreed to shuffle some of the money that was being siphoned

out of the transportation fund back into the general fund, where it could be used for education. For environmental groups like the Utah Rivers Council, the bill represents the worst in pay-to-play politics, where lawmakers listen to doomsday scenarios about a water shortage while refusing to heed the advice from their own auditors, the governor and organizations on the ground level. “It’s a series of calculated lies and misinformation and they know they can get away with it because the leadership was corrupt and willing to walk away from principles that Utahns embrace,” says Zach Frankel, executive director of the Utah Rivers Council. “It’s really been disappointing. Money won out and logic and humanity lost.” (CF)

All That Glitters Is Coal

economy, and if the industry were to disappear overnight, there would be thousands of Utah families instantly flung into poverty. But, at the same time, coal isn’t going to last forever. The burning of fossil fuels like coal, oil and gas have reached critical pollution levels on a global scale, and countries are finally starting to take steps to curb our dependence on dirty energy. That’s why California state Sen. Lori Hancock, D-Oakland, unsuccessfully urged Utah lawmakers to use the $53 million to invest in sustainable energy jobs in those rural economies—so, instead of just continuing to slowly lose coal jobs, they can be replaced by jobs that will last for decades. “Coal is dying. Coal is going to be gone,” Hancock told City Weekly as the bill from Sen. Stuart Adams, R-Layton, was progressing through the Legislature. “Instead of propping up this dying, toxic industry with taxpayer money,” she says, “now is the time

to use those funds to start developing the alternatives.” For Hancock, this is a personal issue because the people of Oakland are strongly opposed to having tons of coal shipped through the middle of their city. Hancock has introduced legislation in the California Legislature to block Utah’s efforts, and even Oakland’s mayor and city council have spoken out against the project. The East Bay Express reported on March 10 that the coal company, Bowie Resource Partners, which operates coal mines in Utah and Colorado, has donated $29,000 to the campaigns of both key Utah lawmakers working on the bill, as well as to Gov. Gary Herbert. Bowie has previously said that it wants to export the Utah coal to Asian markets through West Coast ports. China, where supporters of the law say most of Utah’s coal would be shipped, is the largest consumer of coal on the planet,

burning up three times as much as the United States. However, the country’s demand for coal power is tumbling quickly as the country seeks alternatives. According to an analysis in January by the Institute for Energy Economics and Financial Analysis, China’s coal consumption dropped 5 percent in 2015. And even more significantly to the Utah project, their coal imports fell by a full 35 percent. Perhaps that explains why Utah taxpayers are footing the bill for the coal-export port, instead of those freemarket private i nv e s tor s . (EE)

What do you do when the governor of your state says in his budget that billions of dollars shouldn’t be spent on water projects until Utah—the nation’s most wasteful water user—begins to meaningfully conserve? Or, say the Office of the Legislative Auditor issues a report, requested by Senate President Wayne Niederhauser, R-Sandy, and the late House Speaker Becky Lockhart, which found water managers used faulty data to project the state’s needs, and that, on paper, existing water sources can become adequate to quench Utah’s growing need without funneling the state’s remaining rivers into lawn sprinklers? Answer: The state’s water districts used profits garnered from property taxes and water bills to hire lobbyists, including at least one former speaker of the House, to go to bat on Capitol Hill. The outcome: Senate Bill 80, sponsored by Sen. Stuart

Despite Utah’s fast-growing market of consumers seeking sustainable power sources like solar or wind, lawmakers chose to use this legislative session to double down on coal—sending $53 million tax dollars to build a coal-export port in Oakland, Calif., to ship Utah coal to Asia. While the consumer base for sustainable energy in Utah is growing rapidly, particularly on the Wasatch Front, it is still a fact of life that in rural Utah counties like Duchesne, Emery and Carbon, coal is one of the primary drivers of the local

Jeff Larsen, Vice President of Rocky Mountain Power

All Hail Rocky Mountain Power

The company’s influence over lawmakers is truly something to behold. On the last day of the session, Rocky Mountain Power Vice President Jeff Larsen was given 30 minutes to privately brief House Republicans during their caucus lunch as to why they should support Senate Bill 115. The law pulls $1 million away from solar-power investment and puts it into “clean coal” research, instead. It also eliminates an incentive program for residential consumers to use solar power and could even end up increasing rates for consumers because the utility company will now be able to pass along 100 percent of the costs of buying power to ratepayers (as opposed to the current 70 percent threshold). After it passed in the Senate, the bill died on the House floor early on the final night of the session by a vote of 33-40. But following the dinner break, lawmakers voted to recall the bill and quickly passed it 46-26 after 13 House Republicans changed their votes. (EE)

Workers’ Rights Watered Down

As originally written, a bill by Rep. Greg Schultz, R-Hooper, would have completely banned noncompete agreements—contracts employees are forced to sign when they are hired that forbids them from working for a competing company when they quit or are fired. While it passed the House without much issue, the bill faced heavy opposition from the business lobby when it reached the Senate, with employers arguing that since they put all the time and effort into training an employee, it isn’t fair for them to take those skills to a competitor. Instead of banning noncompetes, the final bill ended up only limiting them to a duration of one year. (EE)

COURTESY PHOTO

Adams, R-Layton, who managed to gut several earmarks that fund transportation projects and divert the lion’s share of the money—$165 million by 2023—into the Water Infrastructure Restricted Account. In the early days of 2016, Adams’ bill seemed as though it might face some level of friction as it fumbled through the process. But then the powers of trust took over. It is often said that with hundreds upon hundreds of bills being considered by lawmakers during the 45-day session, there simply isn’t enough time for lawmakers to read and understand every bill. And so, as Adams went from meeting to meeting insisting that Utah’s economy will grind to a halt unless some flashy money is spent on new water projects, the man’s word went some distance.

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Funding Tomorrow’s Pipelines Today

TY MANNION

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UCDP.UTAH.EDU

Quotes from the 2016 Session

Rep. Carol Spackman-Moss

Education Giveaways

Vaccination Videos

Give Us All the Power

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Citizens voting was not exactly a high priority for legislators this year. House Republicans twice defeated a proposal from Rep. Fred Cox, R-West Valley City, that would have made it slightly easier for citizens to propose passing or repealing laws on the November ballot. The restrictions have gotten tighter ever since Utahns overturned lawmakers’ school-voucher law in 2007. Meanwhile, lawmakers did give their approval to a bill calling for Congress to

It’s a weird moment when the libertarians join forces with the foodies. But that’s what happened when Rep. Marc Roberts, R-Santaquin, proposed his “Food Freedom Act.” The idea was that local farmers should be able to sell their raw poultry and dairy directly to consumers, without having to go through food safety inspections. Plenty of public testimony was given, with advocates saying that people have a right to locally produced food because it’s healthier than prepackaged and processed foods. The problem, however, is that those foods aren’t being denied in Utah; producers are just required to go through safety inspections to make sure raw chicken and milk isn’t being processed in a toilet. The bill, and another nearly identical proposal by Roberts, was held in committee. (EE)

Rep. Sandra Hollins

Ban the Box!

Former Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson’s March 12 Facebook post: [House Bill 279, sponsored by Rep. Ken Ivory, R-West Jordan] was passed on the last day of the legislative session providing that a child sex-abuse victim can bring a civil action against a perpetrator even though the statute of limitations had previously run. ... If this bill becomes law (unless vetoed by the governor, it will be effective May 9), everyone over 18 should know that if he/she has any sexual contact with a person under 18, he/she can be sued at any time the rest of his/her life. All victims of child sex abuse, whenever the abuse occurred, should know of their dramatically enhanced rights to hold their abusers accountable. Karen McCreary, ACLU of Utah’s executive director: “Although I am disappointed [Senate Bill 189, which would repeal the death penalty in Utah] didn’t have a chance to clear this hurdle to passage, I am very proud of the progress we made. Utah’s legislative leaders, led by Senator Urquhart and encouraged by many from the community, looked hard at the reality of our failed death penalty system and took important steps to move to a more just and effective alternative.”

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Rep. Sandra Hollins, D-Salt Lake City, had high hopes for her bill to forbid state employers from including check-boxes or questions on an initial employment application asking if a candidate has any prior felonies. While employers have every right to run a background check before making a final hire, Hollins argued, job seekers should have the opportunity to explain their criminal history during an interview (where they can give the context and time period around the conviction) instead of being rejected out-ofhand for something that might have happened 20 years ago. While the bill successfully passed the House, it ran out of time and was not heard in the Senate before the session ended. (EE)

House Democratic Whip Rebecca Chavez-Houck, D-Salt Lake City: Re: Senate Bill 234 Protecting Unborn Children Amendments requiring doctors to administer anesthesia to a fetus that is beyond 20 weeks gestation: “This bill is incredibly invasive. As legislators, we have no right to step in and tell a doctor what is safe or what is right and we certainly have no right to criminalize them for performing medical procedures that they are trained to do within their scope of medical practice. We also have no right to tell a woman who is making one of the most personal decisions of her life that she doesn’t matter, and that her health and life do not matter. This is not policy; this is pure politics. Politics has no place health care.”

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Civil Asset Forfeiture is a process wherein law enforcement is allowed to seize property (cars, cash, etc.) if it is believed the property is connected to a crime. While the program was designed to target drug cartels, it has a history of being abused by police departments who seize property (particularly cash) and then spend it on department resources unless the property owner files suit to get it back. But paying $10,000 on a lawsuit to get $8,000 back isn’t exactly worth it. Rep. Brian Greene, R-Pleasant Grove, tried to curb the practice this year, but his bill died in the Senate after some lawmakers expressed surprise, shock and perhaps doubt as to whether abuses are actually happening—despite the many documented cases. (EE)

(Untested) Farm Food

Sen. Jim Dabakis, R-Salt Lake City: “Utah Weeps: Instead of 105,000 Utahns covered by full Medicaid expansion, we get 17,700. Instead of $417 per person charge for full Medicaid expansion, we get $2,259 per person. Instead of $532 million in Utah’s share of federal funds, we get $90 million.”

Rep. Brian Greene

Policing for Profit

repeal the 17th Amendment. If the amendment were actually appealed, citizens wouldn’t get to vote for their U.S. senators any longer—that vote would be made by state legislatures themselves. (EE)

Easily one of the most contentious proposals this session was whether or not parents who enroll their unvaccinated children in public schools should be required to watch a video explaining how best to keep them pro-

tected from diseases without vaccinations. The bill was substituted—altered in part or in whole—10 times—a rarity. The debate over the bill was punctuated by accusations that the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Carol SpackmanMoss, D-Salt Lake City, was trying to get between parents and their children, and Rep. Jacob Anderegg, R-Lehi, arguing that “for all the science supporting vaccinations, there is equal information out there opposing it.” The bill died in the House without receiving a final vote. (EE)

Rep. Marc Roberts

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Ask a lawmaker why Utah is dead-last in the nation on per-pupil education funding, and you’re likely to hear a rehearsed speech about large families. But every year, most lawmakers are perfectly willing to vote for bills that strip more education funding away. This year, one of those bills was House Bill 61 from Rep. John Knotwell, RHerriman, which pulled $3 million annually out of the education fund (originally it called for $138 million) to give away as a tax break to some of Utah’s largest corporations. One lawmaker told City Weekly that if Utah canceled all of the extra corporate tax breaks it pays for with the education fund, Utah schools could have an extra $500 million to $750 million per year. (EE)

Rep. Fred Cox

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Rep. John Knotwell

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Sen. Todd Weiler

Lawmakers Punt on SB54 Breastfeeding at Work

Senate Bill 54’s “compromise” election law was on many lawmakers’ minds this session, as the Utah Republican Party launched yet another lawsuit seeking to overturn the law that requires political parties to give candidates a dual track to reach the ballot (the traditional caucus/convention system, a signature-gathering route, or both). The biggest effort to repeal the law this year came from Rep. Justin Fawson, RNorth Ogden, when he launched a surprise amendment on the floor of the House to change another bill into a SB54-repeal. His attempt failed, and Utah will just have to wait and see how the judge rules. If SB54 is overturned, expect Count My Vote to launch a new ballot initiative seeking to find a way to get candidates on the ballot outside of winning die-hard delegate support. (EE)

The list of reasons employees can’t be fired just got a little bigger. Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, successfully added breastfeeding to the list, saying that employers must provide “reasonable” accommodations in the workplace for women who need to either breastfeed or express milk. There was, of course, some snickering about women’s anatomy, including one moment where former Senate Majority Leader Scott Jenkins, R-Plain City, asked what it meant to express milk, and then jokingly referring to it as “milking.” Weiler also had to explain to his colleagues that his bill does not require employers to allow babies on site at all jobs (such as dangerous workplaces such as construction sites or coal mines). (EE)

Most Prolific Democratic Bill Sponsor: Sen. Karen Mayne, West Valley City 14 Bills

Sen. Steve Urquhart

Hating on Hate Crimes

Sen. Steve Urquhart, R-St. George, spent his last legislative session pushing for expanded hate-crimes legislation. A hate crime, Urquhart argued, is different from a regular crime because it is specifically meant to strike fear into an entire community of people, such as painting a swastika on a synagogue, or lighting a cross on fire in the yard of an African American. Prosecutors like Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill were heavily in favor of the bill, saying Utah’s current hate-crimes law lacks any teeth. But the bill was effectively killed when the LDS Church released a statement in opposition, saying it could also be applied for the protection of LGBT people, which they said could upset the “balance” between LGBT rights and religious liberty reached during the 2015 legislative session. (EE)

BILLS PASSED IN 2016: 475 BILLS PASSED BY UTAH HOUSE: 271 BILLS PASSED BY UTAH SENATE: 204

51 BILLS

424 BILLS

PASSED BY DEMOCRATS

PASSED BY REPUBLICANS

CURTBRAMBLE.ORG

KIRSTEN FRANKLY

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Rep. Justin Fawson

Sen. Curt Bramble

Science vs. Values

Lawmakers heard from many doctors during the legislative session who were opposed to a bill from Sen. Curt Bramble, RProvo, which would require doctors to give a fetus anesthesia if a woman has an abortion after the 20-week mark. The doctors argued that the law has no basis in science, because it is unknown if a fetus is capable of feeling physical pain at that stage, and administering the anesthetic carries serious health risks, possibly including death, to the woman. The doctors also objected to being required to tell women they are getting the anesthetic because of the implication that the fetus feels pain. The bill passed easily, however, with Rep. Brad Dee, R-Ogden, saying “I’ve listened to the science, and I’ve listened to the medicine, but sometimes, you just have to go with your values and make the right decision.” (EE)

Most Prolific Republican Bill Sponsor: Sen. Todd Weiler, Woods Cross 19 Bills

ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 3.18

TUESDAY 3.22

Los Angeles Angels vs. Salt Lake Bees The Boys of Summer will visit Salt Lake City in early spring when the Los Angeles Angels make a rare Utah appearance this week to take on their AAA-affiliate, the Salt Lake Bees. Although there are no guarantees as to who will make the trip up from the Angels’ spring training camp in Tempe, Ariz., it could be a homecoming for several prominent Angels. American League MVP Mike Trout, starting right fielder Kole Calhoun, former Bee and Utah Ute C.J. Cron, starting pitchers Garrett Richards and Jered Weaver and several others all spent time playing at the corner of 1300 South and West Temple on their way to the big leagues. Seeing a Major League team in Salt Lake City is a relatively rare thing. It last happened three years ago, when the Rockies and Mariners played an exhibition game at Smith’s Ballpark in March 2013. Other MLB games through the years have included Indians vs. Giants in 1957, Cubs vs. Red Sox in 1964 and A’s vs. Padres in 1970. Those games all took place at the old Derks Field, which would be replaced by what is currently known as Smith’s Ballpark on the same site in 1994. The Twins visited in 1995 and 1999 when they were parent club to the Bees (then known as the Buzz). March 22 will be a teaser for the Bees official Pacific Coast League season, with their home opener scheduled for April 7. The Bees will play 72 home games stretching from April through early September. (Geoff Griffin) Los Angeles Angels vs. Salt Lake Bees @ Smith’s Ballpark, 77 W. 1300 South, 801-325-2337, March 22, 4 p.m., $10-$40. SLBees.com

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John Patrick Shanley’s Pulitzer Prize- and Tony Award-winning Doubt: A Parable begins with a simple question, asked from the pulpit by Father Brendan Flynn circa 1964: “What do you do when you’re not sure?” But, as that question evolves over the course of the play, it means something even more complex: Why should we consider certainty such an inherent moral good? In Utah Repertory Theater Co.’s production, Roger Dunbar plays Father Flynn, who comes under the scrutiny of Sister Aloysius (Tracy Callahan), the principal of the Catholic school where Father Flynn serves. Information from one of the teachers, Sister James (Cylie Janiece), has led Sister Aloysius to suspect that Father Flynn may have initiated an “inappropriate relationship” with the school’s first black student—and that suspicion soon becomes an absolute conviction. Callahan turns in a fierce performance as the stern nun, caught in the transition of the Vatican II-era church to a different sensibility. Indeed, the performances are uniformly strong, in a production that allows Shanley’s text to shine (while making the small mistake of including an intermission that interrupts it). Mostly, the play captures something painfully timely for contemporary American society: the damage that can be caused by an inability to acknowledge one’s own blind spots, and by focusing on the idea that people are corrupt. Father Flynn insists that Jesus’ message was “not suspicion, disapproval or judgment, but love of people,” and Doubt brilliantly questions the virtue of a worldview too little informed by compassion. (SR) Utah Repertory Theater Co.: Doubt: A Parable @ Sorenson Unity Center Black Box Theater, 1383 S. 900 West, through March 20, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 3 p.m. UtahRep.org

Grupo Corpo is, where technique is concerned, a ballet company. But even if you’re not interested in ballet, don’t rule out seeing this Brazilian dance troupe. This company does more than just blend ballet with the sensual movements of its home country; it creates an entirely new dance language born of Latin movement and European tradition. In the words of Rodrigo Pederneiras, the company’s choreographer since 1978, Grupo Corpo “harbors the xaxado, the samba, the ballroom dance, the celebrations, the capoeira … with a certain amount of joy and humor, which does not hide the violence and the ambiguity of our condition.” Suíte Branca (“White Suite”)—by the young Brazilian choreographer Cassi Abranches, and one of two works featured in Saturday’s performance—perfectly exemplifies this unique dance hybrid. The point of the feet, the piercing arabesques, the graceful sweep of the dancers’ arms are all undeniably classical, but what the women do with their hips is something I doubt any other classically trained dancer outside of Brazil could accomplish. Suíte Branca also showcases the exceptional lighting and set design of Paulo Pederneiras, troupe founder and artistic director (also Rodrigo’s brother), as the dancers dressed entirely in white move across a milky linoleum backdrop. Dança Sinfônica (“Symphonic Dance”), a piece created in 2015 for the company’s 40th anniversary, finds choreographer Rodrigo Pederneiras revisiting some of his best works from 34 years with the troupe, reconfiguring and reimagining them into a climactic Grupo Corpo experience. In one particularly intimate pas de deux, the ease of strength and crispness of form perfectly exemplifies what this talented troupe brings to their art form. (Katherine Pioli) Grupo Corpo @ Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-655-3114, March 19, 7:30 p.m., $25-$75. EcclesCenter.org

Grupo Corpo

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SATURDAY 3.19

Utah Repertory Theater Co.: Doubt: A Parable

FRIDAY 3.18

There’s a little salt-and-pepper in that trademark spiky hair, and he’s prone to making selfdeprecating gags about his crumbling body these days, as he did on his 2010 CD All By Myself: “Oh, my hip hurts … I guess, forever.” Yet, it’s still somehow difficult to imagine that the everboyish Brian Regan has been a professional comedian for more than 30 years, as he continues to prowl and bounce around a stage with goofy enthusiasm. That charm is part of what has made him such a favorite in Utah whenever he visits, along with his history of providing hilarious observational comedy that generally stays clean. And his long career of avoiding potty talk on stage is part of what made him a safe bet for Comedy Central’s first-ever live broadcast of a stand-up performance, which Regan did from Radio City Music Hall in September 2015. But the real reason Regan has continued to endure and sell out arenas boils down to a dedication to the craft of live comedy performance that seems all-too-rare. Where most of his successful peers from the 1980s and 1990s comedy scene looked for crossover fame in sitcoms or movies, Regan simply continued to tour. Rather than shifting his act to accommodate the whim of trends, he opted to perfect the art of the simple, absurd observation, using his versatile voice and exaggerated body language to enliven the most mundane situations. All he has done, for more than three decades, is make thousands of people at a time laugh themselves hoarse. (Scott Renshaw) Brian Regan @ Vivint HomeSmart Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 801-325-7328, March 18-19, 8 p.m., $36.50-$61.50. SmithsTix.com

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

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Brian Regan

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS MARCH 17-23, 2015

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A&E Pop Politics

Utah’s thriving geek culture seems at odds with its conservative political one. BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

ou see it all the time: Utah is the nerdiest state in America. We like Star Trek and Star Wars more, per capita, than anywhere else in the country, according to a couple of not-terribly-scientific studies. Anecdotally, though, I find it to be true. Love of Star Trek and Star Wars cuts across just about every division of opinion we have in Utah, from religious to political. And it’s not just those two franchises, but comic books, Dungeons & Dragons, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings and many other nerdy criteria. Right out of the gate, Salt Lake Comic Con had the highest attendance of a first-time geek convention ever. There’s a thirst for these sorts of stories here that is unrivaled. But then you look to other data that indicates that Utah is one of the most politically conservative states in the country. Some might not see a contradiction there, but I see a cognitive dissonance so massive that I really can’t understand it. Star Trek offers viewers an optimistic view of how the world could look once we’ve unchained ourselves from the destruction of capitalism, and everyone works toward the aims of humanity. The world has united, and education is a way of life. Is there anyone on Star Trek—from artists and journalists to Starfleet officers—who doesn’t have a solid background in science and engineering? Every character has been well-schooled in many disciplines. Yet Utah lags behind in education funding, and even the mere mention of a candidate whose platform would set us on a path toward Starfleet virtue is met with suspicion and cries of “socialism.” The Star Wars saga’s Episode I opens with a parable about the corrupting influence of money in politics. We watch as vague and obscure

big SHINY ROBOT

political maneuverings in an inept political body lead to the destruction of the local religion and dominate the galaxy in a darkness so total that it takes a new generation, rooted in the spirit of goodness, to fix it. And yet every election cycle, Utah sends the same lawmakers to the state and federal level where they work hard to give away our rights to the “Trade Federation.” According to The Salt Lake Tribune, one in five bills introduced at the state level smack of conflict of interest. Sending these cronies to do the people’s business is akin to knowing that Senator Palpatine is a Sith Lord, yet still sending him to represent the people in the Senate. And our federal delegation consists entirely of Sith Lords. How do we love Star Wars so much, but learn nothing from it? Doctor Who is another popular franchise that gives us a hero who loves humanity so much that his weapon is a screwdriver, and he’s given two hearts rather than one. He’s a superhero who fixes things and abhors guns almost as much as Batman does. But don’t mention gun control inside the state for fear of an open-carry nut going to the dark side. Every day, the world of geekdom brings more and more tolerance to the world, from increased diversity and better representation of minorities, to life lessons that add up to a modern mythology that is as humane as it is fun. How are the lessons of these franchises not making their way into the worldviews of the voters of Utah? Is there no overlap in the Venn diagram between likely voters and nerds? Maybe we, as Utahns, can take a deeper look at the positive messages in popular culture. And if you’re in Utah, and you consume this nerdery but don’t vote, ask yourself what your favorite hero would do. Would Luke Skywalker let a Sith Lord represent him in the Senate? Would Captain Picard (or even Kirk) allow anyone in their charge to go without education? Or health care? Would The Doctor vote for a bully? The answer is no. So, for the sake of your state and your country and your world, do something about it. CW

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FRIDAY 3.18

A Call to Place: The First Five Years of the Frontier Fellowship

Jobs Rentals ll Buy/Se Trade post your free online classified ads

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Among the various landscapes of Utah, the region around Green River is often overlooked. With red cliffs and terraces, alongside the namesake river, there are verdant vistas and open skies; to call it picturesque would be an understatement. The completion of Interstate 70 in 1992, bypassing the town, rendered it no longer the crossroads it had been since the railroad days, and saw jobs and residents leave. For the past five years, Epicenter (RuralandProud.org)—a nonprofit community design center serving the once-booming town—has sponsored “Frontier Fellows,” a one-month artistic residency for participants to generate place-based work. The exhibit A Call to Place at Rio Gallery collects the work of 50 diverse artists and collaborators. Raphy Griswold’s sculpture “Czech Hedgehog” (pictured) evokes World War II battlements, while Eliza Fernald’s “Green River Quilt” uses her medium to reinforce a sense of community. The community remains small in number, but their vision is expansive. (Brian Staker) A Call to Place @ Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, March 18-May 13, artist reception March 18, 6-9 p.m. ArtsAndMuseums.Utah.gov

PERFORMANCE THEATER

Aida Utah Opera, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, March 12, 14, 16 & 18, 7:30 p.m.; March 20, 2 p.m., UtahOpera.org Climbing With Tigers Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through March 27; Fridays, 7 p.m.; Saturdays, 3 & 7 p.m.; Sundays, 1 & 6 p.m., SaltLakeActingCompany.org The Crucible CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through March 19, Monday & Thursday-Saturday, 7 p.m., CenterPointTheatre.org Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 435-649-9371, March 11, 12 & 17-19, 8 p.m.; March 13 & 20, 6 p.m., EgyptianTheatreCompany.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, 801-572-4144, through March 19, Friday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30 p.m., DraperTheatre.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through March 26, MondaySaturday, 7:30 p.m., CenterPointTheatre.org Disney’s The Little Mermaid The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, March 18-April 23, Mondays, Fridays & Saturdays, 7:30 p.m., ZigArts.com Doubt: A Parable Utah Repertory Theater Co., Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, 435-6120037, through March 20, UtahRep.org (see p. 20) Greece is the Word The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through April 16, Mondays, Fridays & Saturdays, 7:30 p.m., TheOBT.org Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through April 9, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 3 p.m., HaleTheater.org Mother Courage and Her Children Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 801-4222981, March 17-19, 22-25, 29-31, April 1, 7:30 p.m.; March 19 & 26, 2:00 p.m., Arts.BYU.edu My Valley Fair Lady Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through March 19, Monday & Wednesday-Saturday, multiple

showtimes, DesertStar.biz Picnic The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, 801-9573322, March 17-April 2, 7:30 p.m., The-Grand.org The Pirate Queen Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, 801-984-9000, through April 2, weekdays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays, 2:30 p.m., 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., HCT.org Play On! Sugar Factory Playhouse, Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-294-1242, March 17-19, 21, 24-26 & 28, 7:30 p.m., SugarFactoryPlayhouse.com Selma ‘65 Pygmalion Theatre Co., Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, through March 19, various showtimes, PygmalionProductions.org The Taste of Sunrise Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 801-422-2981, March 16-19 & 22-25, 7:30 p.m.; March 19 & 26, 2 p.m., Arts.BYU.edu

DANCE

Expansion Dance Co.: moves | countermoves Rose Wagner Black Box Theater, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, March 22-23, 7:30 p.m., ArtSaltLake.org Grupo Corpo Eccles Center, 1575 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-655-3114, March 19, 7:30 p.m., EcclesCenter.org (see p. 20) Shut Up & Dance Series Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, 801-495-3262, through March 19, various shows, dates & times, OdysseyDance.com

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Bach at the Library Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, March 21, 9 a.m.-9 p.m., SLCPL.com Bach Organ Recital Zion Evangelical Lutheran Church, 1070 Foothill Drive, 801-582-2321, March 20, 7 p.m., ZELC.org Pines of Rome Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, March 19, 7:30 p.m., WestValleySymphonyUtah.org The Probably Untrue Story of Mary (Who) Had a Little Lamb Utah Symphony, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, March 19, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org Salt Lake Symphony: Primal Energy Libby

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Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, 801-5817100, March 19, 7:30 p.m., SaltLakeSymphony.org

Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Feb. 25, 7 p.m., NHMU.Utah.edu

COMEDY & IMPROV

ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Andrew Sleighter Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, March 18-19, 8 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Brian Regan Vivint SmartHome Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 801-467-8499, March 18-19, 8 p.m., SmithsTix.com (see p. 20) Crowdsourced Comedy St. Patrick’s Day Improv Club at 50 West, 50 W. 300 South, 385229-1461, March 17, 7 p.m. Club.50WestSLC.com Faux Pas Improv Comedy Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, March 18, 8:30 p.m., SandyStation.com Jacob Leigh Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, March 20, 7:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., LaughingStock.us Sarah Tiana Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Feb. 18-19, 7:30 p.m. & 9 p.m., WiseGuysComedy.com Quickwits Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-824-0523, Saturdays, 10 p.m., QWComedy.com

LITERATURE

TALKS & LECTURES

PechaKucha Night The State Room, 638 S. State, 800-501-2885, March 18, 8 p.m., TheStateRoom.com Unraveling the Unknown—21st Century Explorers: Phyllis Coley Natural History

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

2016 César Chávez Visual & Language Arts Contest Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, March 15-April 8, Facebook.com/MestizoArts Abstract Expressions Evolutionary Healthcare, 461 E. 200 South, 801-519-2461, March 18-June 11, EvolutionaryHealthcare.com Adriana Vawdrey: Please, You’re Welcome, I’m Sorry, Thank You Visual Art Institute, 2901 Highland Drive, 801-474-3796, March 10-April 1, VisualArtInstitute.org Anna Prosvirova: Iris and Orchid Collection Day-Riverside Library, 1575 W. 1000 North, 801594-8632, through March 27, SLCPL.org A Call to Place: The First Five Years of the Frontier Fellowship Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, March 18-May 30, VisualArts.Utah.gov (see p. 20) Christopher McKellar: If the Rock is the Word, Color is the Music Anderson-Foothill Branch Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through April 21, SLCPL.org Digital Photography by Martin Novak Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, March 4-April 18, SaltLakeArts.org Elaine Coombs and Heather Patterson: Second State J GO Gallery, 408 Main, Park City, 435-649-1006, through March 19, JGOGallery.com Hadley Rampton, Maung Maung Tinn & Nyan Soe: On the Border: Thailand and Myanmar Paintings Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, 801-328-0703, March 18-April 8, Monday-Friday, AccessArt.org History of Photography: Recent Work by Laurel Caryn Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, 801-2457272, March 11-May 6, Heritage.Utah.gov Ice: New paintings by Philip Buller Julie Nester Gallery, 1280 Iron Horse Drive, Park City, 435-6497855, through March 29, JulieNesterGallery.com

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PARTICIPATING BARS

MARCH 17, 2016 | 25

Chocolate & Cheese Festival Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, 801-581-4303, March 19 & 20, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., NHMU.Utah.edu

VISUAL ART

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FESTIVALS & FAIRS

SPECIAL EVENTS

12-5:

Brandon Mull: Five Kingdoms: Death Weavers Barnes & Noble, 330 E. 1300 South, Orem, 801229-1611, March 17, 7 p.m., BarnesAndNoble.com; The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, March 18, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com An Evening of Story with Kevin Kling Orem Public Library, 58 N. State, Orem, 801-229-7175, March 18, 7 p.m., TimpFest.org J. Aaron Sanders: Speakers of the Dead: A Walt Whitman Mystery The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, March 17, 7-9 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Jessica Day George, Jonathan Ryan, Jo Schaffer & Sara Zarr Weller Bookworks, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, March 22, 7 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Jessixa Bagley: Before I Leave The Kings English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, March 19, 11 a.m., KingsEnglish.com Jim McDermott: Bitter is the Wind The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, March 23, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Katherine Coles: Flight 15th Street Gallery, 1519 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, March 23, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Paul Collins: The Book of William: How Shakespeare’s First Folio Conquered the World Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, 801581-6273, March 22, 6 p.m., Lib.Utah.edu

APRI3L03pm

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AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Leo Libations: Pints for St. Paddy’s The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, March 17, 7 p.m., TheLeonardo.org Shanahy: St. Patrick’s Day Concert The Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main, 801-718-3862, March 17, 7:30 p.m., ExcellenceConcerts.org SLAMROCK 2016: The Green Mile Pub Crawl Lumpy’s Sports Bar and Grill, 145 Pierpont Ave., 801-883-8714, March 18, 9 p.m., RedLotusEntertainment.com

SUNDAY

Mexican Food & cantina Since 1997

Rice Basil is a hidden Holladay gem. BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

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26 | MARCH 17, 2016

Rice, Rice, Baby

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ot far from the shiny new Holladay Village complex—housing Caputo’s Deli, Copper Kitchen, Taqueria 27, Tonyburgers, 3 Cups and other independent businesses—is Rice Basil Sushi Bar & Asian Fusion Cuisine. It’s easy to miss, since it’s tucked away and part of a larger commercial building, but Rice Basil is well worth discovering. A while back, Rice Basil moved from its original home on State Street to this space that was formerly Sunset Boulevard Café. Some of the café’s décor and design remains, and that’s a good thing. It’s a very classy interior and ambiance, but one that is also cozy and comfortable. Soft, warm hues of brown, orange, gold and tan dominate the décor and lighting scheme, and a large fireplace adds to the glow of the restaurant. It’s an interesting mix of classic and modern, with zebra-patterned chair cushions juxtaposed with dark woods and traditional detailing. It’s not exactly dazzling, but Rice Basil is just one of the most inviting Salt Lake valley eateries I can think of. On our visits, the experience has always started on a high note, being seated by a wonderfully friendly and accommodating hostess. From there, the service continues—friendly and flawless—by employees such as Jordan (a server who would easily fit into Michelin-starred restaurants), James, Jeremy and others. Service at Rice Basil is unhurried, accommodating and thoroughly professional—a happy surprise, to be honest. I have to confess that the word “fusion” doesn’t hold much culinary appeal for me. Most of the fusion cuisine I’ve endured has been ill-conceived, and a much better idea on paper than on the plate. So, I was a bit hesitant about eating at a place called Rice Basil Sushi & Asian Fusion Cuisine. Thankfully, though, fusion dishes account for only a small portion of the menu, which is dominated more by sushi, nigiri, sashimi, maki rolls, bento boxes and classic Japanese entrées such as donburi, tempura, teriyaki and the like. The first dish we ordered was the Jalapeño Hamachi ($12) appetizer. I was stunned at the presentation. Were we at Nobu? It was six pieces of raw hamachi (yellowtail/amberjack) served on a square black stone tile. Each piece of hamachi was topped with thin-sliced radish, jalapeño

and a tiny parsley leaf. Alongside was the chef’s special yuzu sauce, six tiny dots of citrus mayo, fresh ginger and wasabi. The contrast of the food on the black plate was gorgeous, as were the flavors of the combined ingredients. However, you might want to remove the incendiary jalapeños if you don’t love spicy food. Another sensational appetizer—and one that could have easily been consigned to the “silly” shelf—is Rice Basil’s tuna tartare ($8). Why silly? Well, you see, the tuna comes served on avocado slices atop Pringles potato crisps, garnished with micro-sprouts. It would be a silly idea, except for the fact that it works. The crunchiness of the Pringles and their slight saltiness actually make for a good tuna tartare partner. And, it’s also very functional: The chips are a terrific handheld delivery device for the tuna. An equally artful presentation of sashimi—a 20-piece sashimi platter ($35)— piqued my interest in Rice Basil’s chef. The chef/owner is Batsaikhan Ariunbold, who hails from Mongolia. Friends and regulars at Rice Basil know him simply as “Soy.” He’s worked at a number of Japanese restaurants here but is knocking it out of the park at his own place. I do have to say, though, that I was a bit disappointed in the (chef’s choice) sashimi platter. Since it was a 20-piece platter being shared by two people, I just assumed there would be 10 different types of sashimi: two per person. Instead, there were five pieces each of four different types of sashimi: salmon, tuna (maguro), escolar and yellowtail. There was nothing at all wrong with the high-quality, very fresh sashimi and presentation (or the price, which is very reasonable); I just expected a more varied assortment. For cooked dishes, the saba shioyaki ($17) is hard to top. It’s two whole skin-on grilled mackerel fillets, served on a bed of assorted sauteed vegetables. This is a less-

Rice Basil’s Tuna Tartare is-more type of entrée, wherein the chef allows the beautiful mackerel flavors to shine through without burying them in unnecessary sauces or garnishes. For the quality of food, ambiance, service and such, the prices at Rice Basil strike me as very reasonable. Beef donburi, for example, is a mere $14—a generous portion of steamed rice topped with tender slices of beef along with tempura vegetables and teriyakitempura sauce. During lunch—served Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.—Bento boxes are $9, as are sushi lunch specials. Most nigiri is priced at $6 for two pieces, and rolls run from $5 to $11. Even the ramen ($13) was a beautiful thing. Swimming in a very respectable pork broth were fish cake slices, generous portions of tender marinated pork belly, a hard-boiled egg, bean sprouts, seaweed and julienned scallions. As with almost all of chef Soy’s dishes, desserts at Rice Basil are eye-poppingly beautiful works of art. His Key Lime Calypso ($8), for example, is Key lime mousse topped with vanilla ganache, white chocolate chips, a chocolate wave texture and a white and dark chocolate diamond. Bright swooshes of strawberry and Key lime purée add color to the plate. Simply gorgeous. For all of you lovers of sushi and modern Asian cuisine, there’s an important new player in town: Batsaikhan Ariunbold’s Rice Basil. CW

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FOOD MATTERS BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

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Easter Eats

In a quandary about where to dine on Easter Sunday (on March 27 this year)? A few local restaurants will be open and offering special Easter fare. Here are some that contacted me with their offerings. Tuscany (2832 E. 6200 South, 801-2779919, TuscanySLC.com) will host an Easter Brunch from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on Easter Sunday. The buffet-style brunch will include an omelet bar, waffle station, eggs Benedict, honey-glazed ham, Prime rib, a seafood bar, salads and house-made pastries. The cost is $49 for adults; $25 for kids 12 and under. Fleming’s (20 S. 400 West, 801-3553704, FlemingsSteakHouse.com) Easter Brunch is $39 per guest and includes a wide selection of starters, entrées, sides and desserts. Among them are potato-leek soup, porcini-crusted Prime rib, Brentone omelet, baked brioche French toast, Callebaut white chocolate pudding and much more, including specialty cocktails. At Texas de Brazil (50 S. Main, 385-2328070, TexasdeBrazil.com) they’re “carving” a new Easter tradition by celebrating the holiday with their regular dinner menu, nonalcoholic beverages, and dessert for the reduced price of $39.99. The dinner includes the full-on churrascaria experience of continually rotating meats carved at your table, a 50-60 item salad buffet, and for Easter only, specialty breakfast items, egg dishes, bacon and assorted pastries. Grand America (555 S. Main, 801-2586708, GrandAmerica.com) is offering an Easter Bunny Afternoon Tea ($28) with an Easter bunny appearance, along with their Grand Easter Brunch in the Garden Café ($55/adults; $27.50 for kids ages 5-12; children 4 and under free). Brunch will include live music and brunch favorites from chef Fernando Soberanis and his talented team. In addition to traditional Easter fare, there will also be a seafood/sushi station, carving station with Prime rib, lamb and roasted ham, barbecue station, antipasto station, crêpe station, juice bar, dessert station, kid’s station and much more, including cocktails, wine and beer available starting at 11:30 a.m. Quote of the week: “I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, ‘I gotta use that one.’” —Paul Simon Food Matters 411: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

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BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

The Case for Rosé

Food-friendly, low-alcohol Rosé is a hit in France BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

hen this article publishes—on St. Patrick’s Day—your head might be full of green beer and Irish whiskey. I will be spending this St. Paddy’s Day in France, and chances are good that there will be a glass of Rosé wine in front of me. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a bar or restaurant in France that didn’t have more than one Rosé to choose from, and it’s not unusual to see a dozen different kinds on French wine lists. Although, here in America, we tend to think of the French as being so serious about wine—picturing them as pondering pricey reds and whites—but many of them aren’t. They often drink local, unpretentious and inexpensive wines, and Rosé is

very popular there—even in Paris, where Bordeaux tends to be the go-to drink of choice. To this day, I remember exactly where I was when I took my first sip of Rosé. It was on the beautiful terrace of the restaurant Le Fournil, in the small provençal village of Bonnieux. I noticed that at least half of the tables surrounding mine had carafes of Rosé on them, Provençe being the home of French Rosé. So, I ordered an inexpensive carafe myself, and have been a militant campaigner for Rosé ever since. Now, let’s not confuse good Rosé with other sweetish blush wines, such as White Zinfandel. White Zin is nothing more than the bastard cousin of real Rosé. And, it drives me nuts when I see White Zinfandel on American restaurant wine lists taking up room where a proper Rosé should be. As I’ve said before, Rosé is a red wine that drinks like a white wine. Most is virtually tannin-free. Rosé is made from black-skinned grapes—Grenache, Syrah, Cinsault, Mourvèdre, Sangiovese and the like—that are crushed and left to intermingle with the juice for just a short time, usually one to three days. In red-wine making, the skins would be left in contact throughout the fermentation process. With Rosé, the skins are discarded, which also removes most of the tannins from the wine. Many people have the mistaken notion

DRINK that Rosé wines are sweet, probably due to their color—which ranges from pale orange to light purple—and, also due to the common misconception that White Zinfandel and Rosé are the same thing. But in fact, many of the best Rosés are bone-dry, with great acidity. And that makes them a very good partner for a wide range of food pairings. One such domestic example is Lorenza Rosé 2014 ($17.99), a blend of Grenache, Carignan, Mourvèdre and Cinsault from Napa. It’s desertdry and, like most Rosés, fairly low in alcohol (11.4 percent). I love the fact that Lorenza and other Rosé wines don’t overpower a meal. They are very versatile with foods, and can pair with everything from seafood, sushi and chicken dishes to pork, veggies, salads and lighter pastas. Whereas many people opt for

Pinot Noir with salmon, I think Rosé is more often a better pairing, depending on the sauce and/or seasoning. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s not unusual to see Parisians sipping Rosé with simple steaks and other meat dishes. While Rosé is a natural for springtime and summer sipping, I drink it year ’round. There’s always a bottle in our easy-to-reach wine cooler. And, although Rosé wines have risen in price the past few years, they’re still quite affordable. Even the best Rosé from France typically sells for $20 or less. The prototypic Château d’Aquéria Tavel—which garnered 90 points from Robert Parker—is $21. So, go forth and drink pink! CW

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Christopher’s, situated in downtown Salt Lake City, is known for its slow-roasted Prime rib, but the Kansas City sirloin is a crowd-pleaser, too. And then there’s the classic Delmonico steak—a true centercut rib-eye that weighs in at more than a pound. For seafood aficionados, line-caught wild sockeye salmon, cioppino and grilled Alaskan halibut are but a handful of the many appealing seafood selections available—all flown in fresh. And the portions at the restaurants are generous, to say the least. 134 W. Pierpont Ave., Salt Lake City, 801-519-8515, ChristophersSteakHouse.com

Gateway Grille

Need a reason to visit Kamas? Sean Wharton’s Gateway Grille is a great excuse. The Gateway Grille’s southwestern breakfast items are a sensational way to spice up the morning: Carne asada, huevos rancheros, the Mexican scramble and breakfast burrito. For

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more traditional fare, the “Twice the Meat and the Kitchen Sink” potato platter features ham, bacon and sausage with country-fried potatoes, melted jack and cheddar cheeses and two eggs, all for under $8. The buttermilk biscuits with country-style sausage gravy are to die for. For dinner, try the tangy barbecue spice-rubbed pork tenderloin with cheddar and chipotle mashed spuds. 215 S. Main, Kamas, 435783-2867, GatewayGrille.com

Ginger’s Garden Cafe

Located inside Dr. Christopher’s Herb Shop in downtown Springville, this unique restaurant offers organic, vegetarian and vegan options to satisfy health concerns without sacrificing taste. At Ginger’s Garden Cafe, they’ve taken the liberty of upgrading some favorite classic dishes to something a little more wholesome for you. You can dine in or take your meal to-go. Most of the menu is vegan, but they also offer several meat options. Ginger’s features organic soups, salads (with gluten-free dressing), a barbecue tofu wrap, smoothies, sandwiches and more. There’s also a kids menu, so you can get ’em started young. 188 S. Main, Springville, 801-489-1863, GingersGardenCafe.com

It’s Tofu

At It’s Tofu, you can expect to find tofu in many, many variations. The restaurant’s menu is essentially Korean, with killer kimchi and Korean soon dishes. Among the specialties are Japchae, stir-fried squid, a beef tofu bowl and dumpling soups—all under $15. All dishes are available in three different levels of spiciness: mild, medium and very spicy. 6949 S. 1300 East, Cottonwood Heights, 801-566-9103, ItsTofu.com

HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS

The Long and the Short of It

CINEMA

Hello, My Name Is Doris adds humanity to a one-joke short film. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Sally Field in Hello, My Name Is Doris to clean up and sell the family home, she begins meeting with a therapist (Elizabeth Reaser). Yet Doris really doesn’t seem to know how to deal with Doris’ hoarding—as a quirky character trait (“You’ve got duck sauce in your fridge from the 1970s!” “It keeps!”) or as a genuine mental illness. The film’s generally whimsical tone in telling the story of a lonely woman gets much less whimsical as that woman starts to seem more than merely lonely. What carries Doris through its unevenness is Field’s lovely performance, capturing a kind of eager, giddy watchfulness in her attempts to attract John’s attention. Hers is the behavior of a senior citizen who still acts toward the guy she likes as though she were a swooning middle-school girl, sharing secrets with the teenage granddaughter of her best friend (Tyne Daly). It’s crucial to have her as the appealing anchor for the attempt to take a 9-minute cougar cartoon and make it the story of an actual woman. CW

HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS

BBB Sally Field Max Greenfield Stephen Root Rated PG-13

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TRY THESE Places in the Heart (1984) Sally Field John Malkovich Rated PG

The Baxter (2005) Michael Showalter Elizabeth Banks Rated PG-13

New Girl (2011) Zooey Deschanel Max Greenfield Not Rated

MARCH 17, 2016 | 33

Being There (1979) Peter Sellers Shirley MacLaine Rated PG

daring to imagine a real relationship for herself. When they do drop a few of Doris’ fantasies into the story, they’re a chaste brand of romanticism. It’s the story of someone who wonders if being in love could still be possible. There is, however, a lot of time to fill in Doris between the first stirrings of her crush and whatever epiphanies she might reach, and Showalter ends up with wildly different ideas bumping up against one another. As Doris begins Facebook-stalking John to learn more about him, she discovers his favorite EDM band, and arranges to be with him at a Brooklyn club where the band will be playing. The neon-clad but hopelessly unhip Doris suddenly winds up backstage with the band and their photographer (Kyle Mooney, essentially playing the exact same character he played in Zoolander 2). Doris becomes a darling of the band’s fans and John’s trendy friends; one self-identifies as a “teacher at a gay preschool in Park Slope,” while Thanksgiving dinner involves a smudging ritual and the reading of banal confessional poetry. For a few delightful moments, it feels as though Doris is going to turn into the Williamsburg hipster version of Being There. Showalter and Terruso also try to add emotional heft to Doris’ story by turning her into a hoarder—and it’s here that the narrative starts to get more than slightly bumpy. As Doris starts to clash with her brother (Stephen Root) and sister-in-law (Wendi McLendon-Covey) over her refusal

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aura Terruso’s 9-minute Funny or Die short film Doris & the Intern is—to put it charitably—a one-joke concept. Doris, a frumpy older woman, becomes infatuated with the young new intern in her office. She fantasizes about him with his shirt off; she follows him when she spots him with his girlfriend, and is caught by him coming out of a store where she has just purchased a sex toy. The music of Notorious B.I.G. plays as an improbable underscore. Doris is a horny weirdo, and that’s about all. So, what Terruso and co-writer/director Michael Showalter (The Baxter) do in Hello, My Name Is Doris becomes a fascinating object lesson in adapting a short to feature length. You get a sense for how much richer a story can be when you start with compassion for your characters. And you get a sense for how awkward it can be trying to flesh out 9 minutes into 90. The feature’s heroine, Doris Miller (Sally Field), is a never-married 60-something woman whose life for years has consisted of nothing more than taking care of her elderly mother in their Staten Island home and doing data entry in the same Manhattan office. Then Doris’ mother dies, leaving her alone and adrift. And at around the same time, her company hires new art director John Fremont (New Girl’s Max Greenfield), inspiring an infatuation that completely takes over Doris’ thoughts, fueled by the inspiration of a motivational guru (Peter Gallagher). It is not, however, the same kind of lascivious attraction that made up virtually the entirety of the short film (leaving aside a funny scene where John assisting Doris with an underinflated office “posture ball” turns into a parade of double-entendres). Showalter and Terruso transform Doris into a woman who has spent decades not

CINEMA CLIPS

NEW THIS WEEK

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Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. BOY AND THE WORLD BBB.5 Using a style reminiscent of a child’s artistic view on the world— all stick limbs, overbright colors and machines turned into monsters—Brazilian filmmaker Alê Abreu entices us into the fantastical perspective of a small boy from the country on an odyssey in the Big City. Abreu—who wrote, directed, edited and created the utterly unique hand-drawn animation himself—paints an expansive impressionistic canvas of unease and disquiet, but also of hope and wonder, as memories of the carefree natural landscape of the boy’s home clash with the mechanistic regimentation of the urban chaos and mess. There is no dialogue to speak of; a few lines in a fake language (actually, backwards Portuguese) suggest grownups talking about adult worries the boy cannot really understand. Yet there is glorious music everywhere, expressed in color as well as in sound. This is a magical film—though sometimes it’s of the scary, black-magic kind—full of imagery by turns lovely and startling, often both at the same time. It’s a stunning example of the power of animation, color and music to evoke powerful and profound emotion. Opens March 18 at Tower Theatre. (PG)—MaryAnn Johanson

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT, PART 1 BB This third outing in the dystopian adventures of Tris Prior (Shailene Woodley) in post-apocalyptic Chicago is a disappointing come-down from the first two films, which only just skated by on the novelty of a female action hero, and the appealing metaphor for the struggle against enforced conformity her world offered. Now, the reasons for the apparently precarious foundations of her world are revealed, metaphor no longer, and the concrete reality it is replaced by is far less intriguing. With Chicago’s citizens welcomed to rejoin the rest of humanity outside the wall that has contained them, off go Tris, her boyfriend/lieutenant Four (Theo James) and a handful of others, to see what—and who—is out there. They find accidental conundrums of plot and character that smarter scripting and a more cohesively considered science-fiction culture-scape could have avoided, including a huge plot hole here that brings the entire story crumbling down, one that will echo through the rest of the film: “Why didn’t those experimenters just do X?” The ending is so foregone as to be downright anticlimactic—and there’s still another whole movie to be gotten through. Opens March 18 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—MAJ

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THE BRONZE B.5 Screenwriters often try to make anti-heroic characters just unpleasant enough to be “did he/she say that?” funny, but not so unpleasant that they can’t convincingly be redeemed. The Bronze somehow fails at both. It’s a nice idea to spin the Kerri Strug story into the tale of Hope Ann Greggory (Melissa Rauch), who won a 2004 gymnastics bronze medal while soldiering on after an ankle injury; 12 years later, she’s bitter and pathetic, living off her celebrity in her Ohio hometown and wondering if her opportunity to coach up-and-comer Maggie (Haley Lu Richardson) is actually a

chance to sabotage someone whose talents may surpass her own. Rauch throws herself into playing the helium-voiced terror, but the character always feels like merely a collection of acidic punch lines, few of which actually earn a laugh. And by the time we’re expected to believe that she’s learning important life lessons, she has been established as wretched beyond hope of salvation. A set piece involving the way two gymnasts would have sex provides a rare hint of the wild romp this could have been if there’d been any reason to care about Hope. Opens March 18 at Broadway Centre Cinemas and Century 16 Theatres. (R)—Scott Renshaw

MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN [not yet reviewed] The faith of a mother (Jennifer Garner) is tested by her daughter’s serious illness. Opens March 16 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

ONLY YESTERDAY BBB.5 One could rejoice that a never-before-released-stateside Studio Ghibli feature is finally appearing in the United States, or mourn anew what we’re now missing in the animated feature-film landscape. Because there’s such a unique point of view in Isao Takahata’s story of Taeko Okajima (voiced by The Force Awakens’ Daisy Ridley), a 27-year-old Tokyo woman whose vacation in the countryside is accompanied by reminiscences about her fifthgrade year (voiced by Alison Fernandez) circa 1966. Those flashback segments are phenomenal, patiently observing childhood anxieties—over parents not supporting their dreams, feelings of inadequacy, the uncertainties of incipient adulthood—in a way that has always been a Ghibli trademark. Those scenes are so good that it’s often disappointing when the “present-day” segments roll around, addressing the less complex matter of what Taeko wants to do with her life, including assessing her friendship with a kindly young farmer (Dev Patel). It’s visually gorgeous from start to finish, but at its most engrossing when it finds the gravity-defying magic of a girl’s first crush, or the devastation of having your father slap you across the face. Opens March 18 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—SR

SOUTHBOUND BBB A series of bad events occur to a number of varyingly bad people, all linked by a buzzard-studded strip of lonely desert highway. Indie horror guru Larry Fessenden can be heard as a suspiciously velvet-toned radio DJ, which should hint at the bad mojo going down. Horror anthologies can generally be counted on to contain a whiff or two, but this taut effort—from some of the folks behind the V/H/S series—boasts an admirably high success rate, with each of its five segments generating some clever moments of just-plain-wrongness, including a terminal case of dèjá vu, one seriously botched home invasion, and what happens when a van full of plucky riot grrrls meets up with a hilariously blasé coven. MVP honors, though, go to director David Bruckner’s brilliant centerpiece segment, a cautionary tale about proper cell phone usage and impromptu surgical techniques that plumbs some remarkably icky depths. Throw in a demonic bar and grill, Dana Gould as a sweater-wearing Satanist and some pretty unnerving skeleton squid thingies, and you’ve got yourself a party. Gah, those skeleton squid thingies. Opens March 18 at Tower Theatre. (R)—Andrew Wright

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BROOKLYN At Park City Film Series, March 18-9 @ 8 p.m., March 20 @ 6 p.m. (R) HAVANA MOTOR CLUB At Main Library, March 22, 7 p.m. (NR) LEPRECHAUN At Brewvies, March 21, 10 p.m. (R) ON MOONLIGHT BAY At Main Library, March 23, 2 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

THE YOUNG MESSIAH BB.5 As speculative theological history, it’s intriguing; as filmmaking, not so much. Adapting Anne Rice’s novel, Cyrus Nowrasteh and Betsy Giffen Nowrasteh contemplate the life of 7-year-old Jesus (Adam Greaves-Neal), returning to Nazareth with Mary and Joseph from exile in Alexandria. The non-biblical material becomes a spin on contemporary hero narrative, as the young boy wonders about what makes him unique, and why his parents remain secretive. But that central story is folded into a subplot about a Roman centurion (Sean Bean) tasked with finding the boy who survived the slaughter of newborns in Bethlehem, often losing track of the central emotional/spiritual conflict. Throw in ill-advised choices like a bleached-blond personification of Satan, and you’ve got a movie that can’t entirely lock into its most compelling angle: how a human family wrestles with being part of a divine plan. (PG-13)—SR

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MARCH 17, 2016 | 35

ZOOTOPIA BB.55 Spoiler alert: Zootopia is about how prejudice is bad. The premise—set in a world of integrated talking mammals—finds rookie rabbit police officer Judy (Ginnifer Goodwin) teamed with street hustler fox Nick (Jason Bateman) in the familiar but welcome rhythms of a “mismatched buddy cop” movie, as cheap, obvious animal-based pun gags are kept to a minimum. But there’s a lack of depth to the world-building, with habitat-based “ghettos” that are rarely relevant to the story, and a reliance on stereotype jokes that work against its own message. While there’s a welcome complexity to the way prejudice is addressed, and the relationship moments between Judy and Nick are earned, the ideas never sneak up on you emotionally. “Prejudice is bad” is an important idea to convey, with plenty of better ways to convey it. (PG)—SR

EMBRACE OF THE SERPENT BB.5 Writer/director Ciro Guerra’s Oscar-nominated drama offers a beautifully made but pedantic lecture on European imperialism. The narrative focuses on two somewhat parallel early 20th-century journeys through the Colombian Amazon basin, separated by several decades in search of a legendary plant, both guided by solitary shaman Karamakate (as a young man by Nilbio Torres, later by Antonio Bolivar). The two journeys involve various encounters with indigenous people, all focused on the harm brought to the region by rubber barons, religious

SINGING WITH ANGELS BB Is it a fictionalized drama, or a feature-length commercial for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? The story follows MoTabs soprano Aubrey (Sarah Kent), flashing back and forth over five years in the life of her family as the choir’s music—and her Mormon faith in general—gets them through various crises. Director Brian Brough approaches interesting material in the contentious relationship between Aubrey and her mother-inlaw, and wisely includes plenty of beautiful choir music as the emotional centerpiece. But at its core, this is like a hundred other faith-based melodramas, with overwrought depictions of everything from grief to contemplations of suicide, and plentiful recommendations to pray about difficult decisions. As sincere and occasionally effective as it may be at demonstrating the supportive power of community, there might be more stirring drama in a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert documentary. (PG)—SR

THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY [ZERO STARS] It’s a soul-crushing experience not only in itself, but for what it represents about the downfall of Sacha Baron Cohen: He now panders to those he once rightly mocked. He plays Nobby Butcher, who is unemployed, has 11 kids and proudly announces his welfare scams; eventually he finds his long-lost brother, Sebastian (Mark Strong), a top agent with MI6. Any attempt to create an authentic brotherly feeling between the men is missing. In its place, we have a thoroughly fatuous spy send-up with drawn-out scenes of penis panic and the assertion that overweight women are gross. And after all of this, we’ll be invited to consider that the people whom the movie offer up as poor, dumb and good-for-nothing are in fact the foundations of society. Even the movie itself doesn’t seem to buy it. (R)—MAJ

zealots and generally anyone Karamakate angrily refers to as “the whites.” And while a few of these episodes are compelling—particularly at a Spanish mission turned into the cult of a self-styled Messiah—Guerra seems less concerned with building characters than with having Karamakate tell his white charges “You’ll devour everything” so that we can nod along. Hurray, simple wisdom vs. rapaciousness! (NR)—SR

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10 CLOVERFIELD LANE BBB.5 If there’s something about a movie that you can’t talk about without spoilers, it might as well be literally the only thing wrong with it. For 90 minutes, this pocket-size thriller—about Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who awakens from a car accident in the fallout shelter of a man named Howard (John Goodman) who claims there’s been an apocalyptic event outside—is almost a textbook example of building suspense through character and situation. With only one other person (John Gallagher Jr.) in that shelter, director Dan Trachtenberg builds a cat-and-mouse game around terrific performances, particularly Goodman’s brilliant display of twisted entitlement to respect. The conclusion can’t quite hold up to everything that comes before, with a story predicated on whether you’re willing to risk that the monster you don’t know is less monstrous than the one you do know. (R)—SR

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

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6 | MARCH 17, 2016

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Devil’s Night

Marvel’s Daredevil returns for Season 2; Heartbeat flatlines. Daredevil Friday, March 18 (Netflix)

Season Premiere: Compared to Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, the 2004 Thomas Jane-led Punisher flick wasn’t that bad—but Jon Bernthal (The Walking Dead) is the ultimate Punisher that the fanboys have been waiting for. Season 2 of Marvel/Netflix smash Daredevil picks up a few months after the end of the first chapter, with Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox) doing his Hell’s Kitchen vigilante thing by night and sort-of attending to his lawyer duties by day. But, as busy as DD is keeping, someone doesn’t think he’s doing enough, hard enough—that’s Frank Castle (Bernthal), aka the Punisher, a brutal, relentless mercenary with a “Kill ’Em All, Let Me Sort ’Em Out” credo that clashes with Murdock’s less murder-y version of street justice. As if that weren’t trouble enough, another fan-favorite frenemy is also in town with a score to settle: Ninja-assassin Elektra (Elodie Yung). Aside from the new additions, and better lighting (seriously— Season 1 was dark in every sense of the word), this is still the Daredevil you fell in tortured love with last year.

The Passion Sunday, March 20 (Fox)

Special: Myself and at least a dozen readers like to think that I’m kind of funny. But, sometimes, you just have to admit utter comedic defeat—from Fox PR: “The Passion, a two-hour musical event airing live from New Orleans, tells the 2,000-year-old story of the last hours of Jesus Christ’s life on earth. Hosted and narrated by Tyler Perry, the special will feature a cast of today’s biggest stars performing a variety of popular music. Set in modern day, The Passion will follow the dramatic and inspirational story of Jesus of Nazareth (Jencarlos Canela), as he presides over the Last Supper, and then is betrayed by Judas (Chris Daughtry), put on trial by Pontius Pilate (Seal), convicted, crucified and resurrected. The story will unfold live at some of New Orleans’ most iconic locations, while featuring a procession of hundreds of people carrying a 20-foot illuminated cross from Champion Square outside the Superdome to the live stage at Woldenburg Park on the banks of the Mississippi River.” Damn.

FTW FFT WTF Heartbeat Tuesday, March 22 (NBC)

Series Debut: Melissa George—and everyone else—deserves better than this: In the cleverly titled Heartbeat, George stars as heart-transplant surgeon Dr. Alex Panttiere (woman with a dude’s name—one cliché checked), a brilliant doctor who doesn’t play by the rules (and there’s another cliché) whose accomplished-if-occasionally man-splained career (and another) contrasts with her messy personal and romantic life as a single mom and Melissa George-level hot thang (and there’s all the remaining clichés). Need I even mention that this was originally called Heartbreaker? At best, Heartbeat plays like an unaware spin-off of sexy-docs spoof Childrens Hospital; the rest of the time, it’s just pretty people in scrubs Acting! Really! Hard! in a communitytheater production of House M.D. It’s not too late to rebrand it as Chicago Heartbeat, NBC.

You Me Her Tuesday, March 22 (Audience/DirecTV)

Series Debut: In 2015, DirecTV’s Audience Network quietly slid into the half-hour-comedy game with Billy & Billie, a breezy rom-com about step-siblings in love/lust from the hilarious Neil LaBute—needless to say, it won’t be back for a second season. This year, Audience is trying out You Me Her, an indie-flick-esque dramedy they’re billing as “polyromantic,” which probably tested better than B&B’s “incesteriffic.” You Me Her stars Greg Poehler (Welcome

Daredevil (Netflix)

to Sweden) and Rachel Blanchard (FX’s Fargo) as a bored suburban Portland married couple who inadvertently end up hiring/sleeping with/falling for the same female escort (Priscilla Faia, Rookie Blue). Naturally, they decide to bring the escort on full-time and make their marriage a threesome, because, Portland. It’s all funnier, and sweeter, than it sounds, but … huh?

Stitchers Tuesday, March 22 (Freeform)

Season Premiere: Kirsten (Emma Ishta), a ridiculously good-looking 20-something with no discernable personality and “temporal dysplasia” (no sense of time—and no, this condition doesn’t exist), is recruited by a black-ops government outfit to have her consciousness “stitched” into the quickly slipping-away minds of the recently dead to help solve crimes (all of the scientists are ridiculously good-looking 20-somethings, too). Sound like iZombie? Close, but Stitchers, now entering Season 2, takes itself way more seriously than anything else on Freeform (well, before Shadowhunters showed up, anyway). But, it could potentially be leading somewhere … not terrible? That’ll work.

Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes, Stitcher and BillFrost.tv.

ROB CROW

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MINER

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

MARCH 17, 2016 | 37

w/ Palace of Buddies, Birthquake The Urban Lounge 241 S. 500 East 801-746-0557 Saturday, March 19, 8 p.m. $10 in advance, $12 day of show TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

bud tall boys long island iced teas liquid mary janes, amfs

ROB CROW’S GLOOMY PLACE

3 $ 5 $

including an Optiganally Yours set, one by Thingy, and two by Goblin Cock: “One’s a regular album, and one’s the Cock Opera!” Also, he says, “Alpha Males is a really fun power-violence band I was in for a while.” He doesn’t have plans to release any of these right now, lacking funds and proclaiming, “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s hustling my own shit. I hate talking about myself more than anything.” Always eccentric, Crow describes You’re Doomed as “a solo album with friends.” He recorded it by himself, then taught the songs to his cohorts, and re-recorded them in a studio with an engineer. “It sounds more like the band does live than any of my solo albums would.” A song like “Business Interruptus” (which might be taken as about his hiatus), is peppy without being artless—a rare combination in today’s music world. Also, the album title makes you do a double-take, but it’s a wit common in all his work. Rob Crow is back, with a release that is strong, and doesn’t dilute his creative energy by going off in all different directions. Crow is also representative of indie rock because, like many listeners, at some point between the emergence of indie in the ’90s and now, had married and become a parent, and faced the challenges of trying not to let an important part of his life fall by the wayside. “I was always interested in the autonomy of art—how fast, when inspired, I could finish something before the inspiration left the idea,” he says. “Now that I’m forced to act that way, I’m glad I have the experience.” CW

open @ 3:00 pm green beer & food specials

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panning 20 years, Rob Crow’s complete list of projects is literally too expansive for the space allotted here. Even the broad strokes form a long list, representing a microcosm of indie rock as a whole: the canonical, at times almost flawless, indie pop-rock songwriting with Pinback, the Krautrock-influenced Physics, the progressive indie unit Heavy Vegetable, retro poprock project Optiganally Yours, acoustic trio Thingy, doom-metal combo Goblin Cock and Crow’s introspective solo albums. All of it is peppered with math-rock polyrhythms, and their respective styles sometimes spill over from one project to another. Crow is the very personification of eclecticism. So when Crow announced last March that he was quitting music, it was almost taken as emblematic of indie rock itself, in all its various incarnations and varieties, having reached some kind of terminal point. When such a prolific songwriter, fluent in so many musical subgenres, announced the end of his career, it inspired one at least to pause and consider whether “indie rock” (we can debate the exact definition, even the actual existence of the genre, at another time) had exhausted its ability to express anything authentic or genuine. But, in November, Crow revealed that he was coming back to the fold, and working on a new project. This month, Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place releases the album You’re Doomed. Be Nice on Temporary Residence. Having felt the need for an explanation when he stopped, he, at the time, wrote several notes on Facebook, saying, among other things, “I have come to the realization that making music in this climate is financially irresponsible to my family and ultimately humiliating to my psyche.” Now that he’s returned—and the new album gives plenty of evidence of his renewed vigor—Crow says he learned something during the hiatus. “While trying to do what I thought was best for my family, I realized my family didn’t want me to quit, but wanted me to keep going.” Having lost weight and stopped drinking, he has found a way to make music again while avoiding “certain situations” that weren’t healthy. His wife’s new job enables him to focus on music again. Crow looks back on his earlier work with pride, if perhaps tempered with a little embarrassment, but that’s what happens sometimes when you are a musical risk-taker. “One thing different from when I started is, I’ve definitely veered away from anything cute, or any kind of happy horseshit,” he maintains. Like his music, talking to him is replete with a sometimes dark, if disarming and apparently effortless, sense of humor he displays at times. Crow’s favorite works from his oeuvre aren’t the most wellknown. He says The Other Men album Wake Up Swimming (Robcore, 2007) is “the best record I ever made, but most people don’t know about it.” It sounds kind of like if Phish played math rock—and that’s a compliment. When Crow quit, he said, “I’m gonna finish up and release all my current records,” and he touts a bunch of these unreleased gems,

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KARAOKE

BY ZAC SMITH comments@cityweekly.net

THUR

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Sinking In

“T

he album is called Sinking As A Stone, after a Wipers song. But in Hebrew, it’s called Hashiamum Shokea. That means The Boredom Sinks In,” says Yuval Haring, vocalist and guitarist for the Tel Aviv-based shoegaze trio, Vaadat Charigim. The Wipers song, found on the seminal Portland punks’ 1996 album The Herd, features the lyrics, “She said you are a soul mate/ But you’re never gonna settle down/ I wish this craft could swim/ All I ever get is the same old thing/ She said you are a soul mate/ Living as a stowaway/ Sinking as a stone/ Feeling that you’ve thrown away.” These lines, aside from acting as context for the sound, feeling and direction for Vaadat Charigim’s second album—a record filled with menacingly layered indie-pop shoegaze sweeps—also act as an indication of the band’s movement and mindset: that of burdened optimism. Haring, along with drummer Yuval Guttmann and bassist Dan Bloch, formed Vaadat Charigim in 2012. The band name loosely translates to “exceptions committee”—the sort of meeting one attends at school if you want to continue to next year, but lack the proper grades. As an exceptions committee of sorts, the band has made it a point to tackle the bittersweet and the painful in a poignant way, making artistic allowances, but never compromising their voice or mission. “Our music is loud, slow, nihilistic and, at the same time, very hopeful,” Haring says. “Songs are mostly, if not all, from the point of view of a person living in Tel Aviv.” It is the climate of Tel Aviv—one of religious and political turmoil, yet also of change—that has affected the band deeply, personally. “We are influenced by growing up in Israel with hopeless government and cyclical warmongering,” Haring says. “[Israel] is a place where almost everything, including art, is very political.” And though Vaadat Charigim’s lyrics do often touch on the political, perhaps the lyrics’

Vaadat Charigim

most noticeable feature is the fact that they are sung entirely in Hebrew. “Hebrew is in the DNA of this band, because it allows us to express local Israeli thinking,” Haring says. On top of incorporating home into the very being and expression of the lyrics, the move is a bold challenge to international acts, seemingly saying to never sacrifice personal integrity; let your spirit, the feeling you create with sound, speak for you. Furthermore, it is a challenge to the American music industry, Haring says. “I hope [Sinking As A Stone] creates room for [more foreign-language] music to flow into the American scene and enrich the narratives of contemporary underground music.” With influences like Yo La Tengo and The Feelies, Vaadat Charigim have gone on to create a simplified yet alluring shoegaze sound. “I see many shoegaze bands with huge effects racks. I use a simple DigiTech delay, a simple DS1 distortion pedal, and an MXR phaser. Nothing more,” Haring says. Vaadat Charigim end up sounding like a darker Craft Spells or Wild Nothing—a mostly, if not entirely, pleasing move. Through Sinking As A Stone, released on the Orange County-based Burger Records, “we hope to create a wider definition of indierock that [reaches past] the American drugs/ surfing/relationships narrative most music is about,” Haring says. Ideals in mind, it is also the personal connections that Haring finds rewarding. “Meeting people that are into what you’re doing reaffirms that it’s real, and not some make-believe ethos,” he says. “When you are performing in front of people and they come up to you later to buy merch or offer a place to sleep, this whole underground rock thing becomes real.” In the future, Haring hopes to go on a more inclusive world tour, possibly hitting Japan somewhere along the way. But in anxious anticipation of their upcoming visit to Utah, Haring says, “Come to the show at Kilby. We look forward to meeting you!” CW

VAADAT CHARIGIM

w/ Methyl Ethyl, Honduras Kilby Court 741 S. 330 West 801-364-3538 Wednesday, March 23, 7 p.m. $10 KilbyCourt.com

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MARCH 17, 2016 | 39

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This is NOT A Lounge Act! os Our Dueling Pian T are Smoking HO

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

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THURSDAY 3.17

Bar J Wranglers (March 17-19, 24-26)

After appearing at the Heber Valley Music & Cowboy Poetry Gathering in October, Wyoming’s Bar J Wranglers return to serve up “some of the purest harmony, best musicianship and funniest ranch humor ever seen on stage”—not to mention dinner! You’ll be pickin’ and grinning and pickin’ your teeth while the five-piece performs classic country western tunes like “Rawhide” and “Ghost Riders in the Sky,” as well as patriotic and religious songs— with some yodels tossed in. No word on what kind of grub they’re servin’, but my money’s on red meat. (Randy Harward) Dejoria Center, 970 N. State Road 32 (Kamas), 5:30 p.m., $65 ($45 for kids aged 2-12), DeJoriaCenter.com

SATURDAY 3.19 Young Dubliners

Back in the mid-’90s, Celtic rockers the Young Dubliners and Salt Lake City commenced a still-running love affair that has found them playing larger and larger venues each time they visit. It started, mainly, with our dearly departed Zephyr Club and the early triple-A radio station The Mountain 105.7. While The Mountain played the hell out of the band’s Breathe album—particularly the character-driven pop-rock gem “Mary,” which showed the band’s considerable songwriting talent— the Zephyr gave the “Young Dubs” (as their fans know them) a platform for their electrifying live performances. Onstage, the Dubs’ songwriting and energy dovetail to whip crowds into a blissful, drunken frenzy. Whether they’re singing about sad Mary (since replaced by the more upbeat entreaty “Rosie”), covering The Pogues’

Leyenda Oculta

LIVE

hit “If I Should Fall from Grace with God” or shaking a club’s foundation with their signature version of the traditional “Rocky Road to Dublin” (sing along: one, two-three, four-five!), you will be moved tonight. And on the way home, you’ll be singing or whistling to the annoyance of a blessedly sober Uber driver. King Washington opens the show. (RH) In the Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 6 p.m., $23, InTheVenueSLC.com

De Despedida, Leyenda Oculta, La Calavera

Who would’ve known that Salt Lake City has a burgeoning rock en Español scene? While the Latin alternative genre, as it’s become more widely known, has been picking up steam nationally and internationally, it’s been fairly silent in Salt Lake City—at least as far as most of us know. Club Karamba has been booking bands like De Despedida and Leyenda Oculta for quite some time, and these bands and others have been part of a monthly rock en Español showcase at Liquid Joe’s

Young Dubliners since September. Now they’re getting a turn on the Kilby Court stage, with this three-band show headlined by Kaysville’s De Despedida, whose late-’80s/early-’90s AOR/melodic rock will sound even bigger in a tiny venue. Leyenda Oculta of West Valley City—whose sound is similar but traipses into rockabilly and even ska territory—and Salt Lake City alt-rockers La Calavera open. (RH) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $6, KilbyCourt.com

The Portland Cello Project

Thanks to artists like Rasputina, Apocalyptica and Erik Friedlander, the cello is no longer an instrument for freakishly strong, bespectacled nerds. In fact, it’s been outed as an all-around musical beast capable of playing everything from longhaired chamber music to full-on, equally hirsute heavy metal. The PCP, in fact, is known

The Portland Cello Project

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MARCH 17, 2016 | 41

Live Music Friday & Saturday 6pm - 9pm

MARCH 18TH

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32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am-1:00am

FUNK & GONZO MARCH 19, 9PM

WEDNESDAY TEXAS HOLD ‘EM - FREE 8PM

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42 | MARCH 17, 2016

LIVE A series of classes to bring out the Queen in all of us! CLASS 1: MAKE-UP TUTORIAL Learn the tricks of the trade from our favorite Queens!

Saturday, April 9 | 6-9pm at

(751 N. 300 W.)

Get tickets at cityweeklystore.com All genders encouranged to participate!

to cover metal giants Pantera, atmospheric alt-rockers Radiohead, pop star Taylor Swift and late indie-rock singer-songwriter Elliott Smith—among many, many others in its repertoire of more than 1,000 compositions, which also includes originals by PCP founder Gideon Freudmann. With such a wealth of material, and a lineup that features anywhere from four to 12 cellists, their proclamation that no two shows are alike is undoubtedly true. (RH) The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., $20, TheStateRoomSLC.com

WEDNESDAY 3.23

Diabolical Daze Night 1: Adult Books, The Rich Hands, Boyfriends, The Nods, Mommy Long Legs, Brothers In Law

Brought to you by:

Along with their popular in-store concerts and musical matchmaking event Bandemonium, Diabolical Records’ Diabolical Daze is an eagerly anticipated event leading into Boise’s big Treefort shindig. Held over the course of three days, it brings together bands from all over the world. DD’s first night features six bands, including Adult Books, out of Los Angeles by way of Orange County. The trio purveys a catchy blend of punk rock and post-punk with reverb-y surf tones. Their eponymous 2012 EP proved to be Lolipop Records’ best-selling cassette release ever and, only four years later, the band is back with their debut LP, Running from the Blows (Lolipop/Burger). The album finds the band as spunky and tuneful as on the EP but a little more grown-up as a band.

Adult Books

The sounds remains the same, perhaps with a bit of shoegaze influence coming through in the songs, which are slower and more thoughtful, with atmospheric mixes. The lineup is rounded out by Austin power-pop threesome Rich Hands, Seattle brat punks Mommy Longlegs, new wave/ punk foursome Boyfriends (also from Seattle), Italian indie rockers Brothers In Law, and Salt Lake City’s own garagerock badasses The Nods. (RH) Diabolical Records, 238 S. Edison St., 7 p.m., $10, Facebook.com/DiabolicalRecords

LEX

Get on YouTube and find Lex’s NPR Tiny Desk Concert contest submission. There, you see only the members of this Los Angeles-based, all-female synth-pop foursome in their shiny costumes performing live in front of bookshelves. Now stay and watch the artsy-fartsy-cool official video for the dreamy, pulsing “Mystery Boy” (same song as the NPR clip). Now, hit the site. Scroll down immediately and stream their EP. Finally, catch the band, discovered by Daft Punk engineer Peter Franco, tonight—performing with a sweet, light show that makes their music a terrifically sleepy trip. Brothers In Law and Crescendo open. (RH) Club X, 445 S. 400 West, 8 p.m., $10, ClubXSLC.com

LEX

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44 | MARCH 17, 2016

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Neal Middleton, Craig & Joslyn Poole

Jordan Young

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Andrea Harvey, Alec Bruhn

St. patrick parties like a pig!

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Chris Metos, Stauss Paulos, Eleni Saltas, Anna Adondakis, Whitney Anderson

BY JOSH SCHEUERMAN

SKY

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CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

THE PEDS MOOSEKNUCKLE

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

THURSDAY 3.17

SATURDAY, MARCH 19TH

CIRKA: SIK A BALANCE OF POWER YOU’LL DIE KNOWING

COVER E VER!

LIVE MUSIC

Bar J Wranglers (DeJoria Center) see p. 40 Betty Hates Everything (The Huka Bar) Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys (Garage on Beck) see p. 46 Canyons Music (Owl Bar) Crook and The Bluff + June Brothers + Michelle Moonshine (The Urban Lounge) DJ Courtney (Area 51) Folk Hogan (The Cabin) Hot Noise (The Red Door) Robyn Cage (Prime Piano Bar) SpyHop801 Sessions Presents: Cephas + The Wednesday People + Resonate (Kilby Court) Therapy Thursdays: Myon + Shane54 (Sky) Violent J + Nova Rockafeller (The Complex)

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Monday @ 8pm

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Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee)

Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

FRIDAY 3.18 LIVE MUSIC

geeks who drink

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801.484.6692 I slctaproom.com

Aly & Fila (Park City Live) Barbaloot Suitz (Lighthouse Lounge) Bar J Wranglers (DeJoria Center) see p. 40 CHON + Polyphia + Strawberry Girls (Kilby Court) Controlled Burn (Garage on Beck) Colours in the Basement (Muse Music Cafe) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) DJ Reverend 23 + Stryker (Area 51) I Am Haunted (Black Lion Events) Michelle Moonshine + Canyons (Hog Wallow) Nightfreq Presents: Thriftworks & Late Night Radio + Special Guests (The Urban Lounge) The Night Spin Collective (Area 51) The Raven and the Writing Desk (Alleged) Shred Kelly (The Cabin)

wednesdays @ 8pm

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KARAOKE

3.17 MATT CALDER

3.24 JOHN DAVIS

3.18 MICHELLE MOONSHINE IV

3.25 DEVIL’S CLUB

3.19 BIG BLUE OX

3.26 BACKWASH

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

MARCH 17, 2016 | 45

3.23 MARCUS BENTLEY

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SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY

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46 | MARCH 17, 2016

3.17 CONCERTS & CLUBS THURSDAY Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys

Rockabilly and swing music have plenty of fans here in Salt Lake City, which is why every time genre luminary Big Sandy and his boys tour, they hit us up. That’s good for us—this’ll be the Rockabilly Hall-ofFamers’ second visit inside of a year, on the tour celebrating the band’s well-deserved 25th anniversary, leading up to an appearance at the Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekend next month. So, hop online and get yourself a nice can of pomade, grease up and hit the Garage tonight with a Bettie Page lookalike—or, failing that, a Tinder date. (Randy Harward) The Garage on Beck, 1199 Beck St., 8 p.m., $10 (plus $2.50 service fee), GarageOnBeck.com

WEDNESDAY 3.23

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Geographer, The Crookes

Mike Deni, the nucleus of San Francisco’s Geographer, once described his music as “soulful music from outer space.” For many music fans, that’s ‘nuff said. We love soul, and we love space—the two together amount to relaxation and daydreams, and that’s exactly what Geographer sounds like. His third album, Ghost Modern (Roll Call) came out last year, along with the Endless Motion EP. British alt-rock quartet The Crookes, out of Sheffield, are touring behind their two-month-old fourth album, Lucky Ones (Anywhere/Modern Outsider). Their breezy, spacey songs are a good complement to Geographer—not to mention a pleasant spring evening. (Randy Harward) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $12 in advance, $14 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Retro Lounge Club Night (Maxwell’s)

SATURDAY 3.19

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Guru’s Cafe)

SUNDAY 3.20 LIVE MUSIC

MONDAY 3.21 LIVE MUSIC

Aenimus + Aethere + Thalgora + Wulf Blitzer (The Loading Dock) Murder By Death + Tim Barry (The Urban Lounge) Sol (Kilby Court)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub)

TUESDAY 3.22 LIVE MUSIC

Alex G + Porches + Your Friend (Kilby Court) Bag Raiders + Plastic Plates (The State Room) Banners + The Moth and the Flame + Pop Etc (In The Venue) Lillie Lemon (Club X) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Self Defense Family + Culture Abuse + Strange Wilds (The Loading Dock) Terence Hansen Trio (Montage) This Will Destroy You + Vinyl Williams (Metro Bar) Young Fathers (The Urban Lounge)

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MARCH 17, 2016 | 47

Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Retro Lounge Club Night (Maxwell’s)

Karaoke Bingo (The Tavernacle) Karaoke Church (Club JAM) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue on State)

| CITY WEEKLY |

OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE

KARAOKE

Adrián Terrazas-Gonzáles (The Funk & Dive) Bar J Wranglers (DeJoria Center) see p. 40 The Brocks (Wilkinson Ballroom) The Canyons (Garage on Beck) De Despedida + Leyenda Oculta + La Calavera (Kilby Court) see p. 40 Dusty Boxcars (Deer Valley) EL84 (Red Eye Express Coffee) John Brown’s Body + Byron Friedman & Friends (Canyons Resort) Harlis Sweetwater Band (The Funk & Dive) Matone + Bonneville + Ritual + Dimond Saints (Club X) Method Man & Redman (Park City Live) Neil Jackson + Brisk (Downstairs) The Portland Cello Project (The State Room) see p. 40 Primal Energy (Libby Gardner Hall) Queenadilla (Muse Music Cafe) Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place + Palace of Buddies + Birthquake (The Urban Lounge) see p. 37 Young Dubliners (In the Venue) see p. 40

CITYWEEKLY.NET/UNDERGROUND

LIVE MUSIC

Long-long-long-read Interviews With Local Bands, Comedians, Artists, Podcasters, Fashionistas And Other Creators Of Cool Stuff. Only On Cityweekly.net!

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE

Booker Tha Don + TRE dMC + DJ Battleship (Kilby Court) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) Face Your Maker (The Loading Dock) John Brown’s Body (The State Room) Melody Pulspher + Michelle Moonshine (Garage on Beck) Mike Rogers (Deer Valley) Pop Evil (Club X) Your Meteor + Pansies + Season of the Witch (The Urban Lounge)

ALL THE NEWS THAT WON’T FIT IN PRINT

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

48 | MARCH 17, 2016

VENUE DIRECTORY

LIVE MUSIC & KARAOKE

A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, Trivia Tues., DJ Wed., Karaoke Thurs. A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, Karaoke Tues. ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, Live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-9900692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-5340819, Karaoke Wed., ‘80s Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. THE BAR IN SUGARHOUSE 2168 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-485-1232 BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BATTERS UP 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-4634996, Karaoke Tues., Live music Sat. THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-9618400, Live music Fri. & Sat. BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-1005, Local jazz jam Tues., Karaoke Thurs., Live music Sat., Funk & soul night Sun. BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-3941713, Live music CAROL’S COVE II 3424 S. State, SLC, 801-466-2683, Karaoke Thurs., DJs & Live music Fri. & Sat. THE CENTURY CLUB 315 24th St., Ogden, 801-781-5005, DJs, Live music CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801575-6400 CHEERS TO YOU MIDVALE 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871 CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-5315400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-6495044, Karaoke Thurs., Live music & DJs CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-5663254, Trivia Mon., Poker Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat., Live bluegrass Sun. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-364-3203, Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. CLUB X 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-9354267, DJs, Live music THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-528-9197, Live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, Free pool Wed. & Thurs., Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-2612337, Live music THE DEERHUNTER PUB 2000 N. 300 West, Spanish Fork, 801-798-8582, Live music Fri. & Sat. THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801-355-5522, Live music DEVIL’S DAUGHTER 533 S. 500 West, SLC, 801-532-1610, Karaoke Wed., Live music Fri. & Sat. DO DROP INN 2971 N. Hill Field Road (400 West), Layton, 801-776-9697. Karaoke Fri. & Sat.

DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134. Karaoke Wed.; Live music Tues., Thurs. & Fri; Live DJ Sat. DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435226-5340, Live music, DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 THE FALLOUT 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801953-6374, Live music FAT’S GRILL 2182 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-9467, Live music THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-250-1970, Karaoke Thurs. FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, Trivia Tues., Live music Fri. & Sat. FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, Karaoke, Live music FUNK ’N DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, Live music, Karaoke THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-5213904, Live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801819-7565, Live music, DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, Live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, Live music Thurs.-Sat. HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-2682228, Poker Mon., Ladies night Tues., ’80s night Wed., Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, Karaoke THE HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, Live music THE HOTEL/CLUB ELEVATE 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-9665, Reggae Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat ICE HAUS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801266-1885 IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, Live music & DJs JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, Karaoke Tues., Wed. & Sun.; DJs Thurs.-Sat. JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tues. & Fri., Karaoke Wed., Live music Sat. KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-3633638, Karaoke Tues. & Wed., Dueling pianos Thurs.-Sat. KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, Live music, all ages KRISTAUF’S 16 W. Market St., SLC, 801943-1696, DJ Fri. & Sat. THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801-467-5637, Live music Tues.-Sat. THE LOADING DOCK 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, Live music, all ages

LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801487-4418, Trivia Wed. LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-938-3070 LUMPY’S HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON/THE COWBOY 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, Live music, DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 9 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-328-0304, Poker Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. METRO BAR 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801652-6543, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 THE OFFICE 122 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8838 O.P. ROCKWELL 268 Main, Park City, 435615-7000, Live music PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, Live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, Live music Thurs.-Sat., All ages THE PENALTY BOX 3 W. 4800 South, Murray, 801-590-9316, Karaoke Tues., Live Music, DJs PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-4681492, Poker Mon., Acoustic Tues., Trivia Wed., Bingo Thurs. POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, Live music Thurs.-Sat. THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-363-6030, DJs Fri., Live jazz Sat. THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801590-9940, Live music SANDY STATION 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, DJs SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801604-0869 SKY 149 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-8838714, Live music THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, Live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800501-2885, Live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, Live music, All ages SUGARHOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 THE SUN TRAPP 102 S. 600 West, SLC, 385-235-6786 THE TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Dueling pianos Wed.-Sat., Karaoke Sun.-Tues. TIN ANGEL CAFE 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, Live music THE URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, Live music TWIST 32Exchange Place, SLC 801-3223200, Live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801818-2263, Live music, All ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801531-2107, DJs Thurs.-Sat. THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, Live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760828-7351, Trivia Wed., Karaoke Fri.-Sun., Live music ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Open Mic Night (Velour) Open Mic Night (The Wall)

KARAOKE

Karaoke with DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue on State)

WEDNESDAY 3.23 LIVE MUSIC

Bart Crow (State Room) Battalion of Saints + Phobia (Metro Bar) Conn and Rob Live Jazz Music (Maxwell’s) Diabolical Daze Night 1: Adult Books, The Rich Hands + Boyfriends + The Nods + Mommy Long Legs + Brothers In Law (Diabolical Records) see p. 42 Geographer + The Crookes (The Urban Lounge) see p. 47 Jazz at the 90 (Club 90) LEX + Brothers In Law + Crescendo (Club X) see p. 42 Miss DJ Lux (Downstairs) Prawn + Weatherbox + Enemies + Gatsby (The Loading Dock) Vaadat Charigim + Methyl Ethyl + Honduras (Kilby Court) see p. 38

OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Open Mic (Muse Music Cafe)

KARAOKE

Areaoke (Area 51) Karaoke (The Wall) Ultimate Karaoke (The Royal) Wednesduhh! Karaoke (Club Jam)

CHECK US FIRST! LOW OR NO FEES! Thursday, March 17 Roosevelt Collier W/ Jelly Bread The State Room

friday, March 18

Chon

Kilby Court

saturday, March 19

Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place Urban Lounge

An Evening With The Portland Cello Project The State Room

monday, March 21

Sol

Kilby Court

Murder By Death Urban Lounge

tuesday, march 22

Alex G/ Porches Kilby Court

PINKY’S CABARET CHECK OUT OUR NEW

Young Fathers Urban Lounge

Bag Raiders The State Room

This Will Destroy You Metro Bar

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

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BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

| CITY WEEKLY |

MARCH 17, 2016 | 51

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Sounds from a souse 2. Go ____ great length 3. Trial fig. 4. Baseball scoreboard letters 5. "Dawson's Creek" actor James Van ____ Beek 6. One having a little lamb 7. Atypical 8. The "S" of TBS: Abbr. 9. Title for Powell or Petraeus: Abbr. 10. Former fort on Monterey Bay 11. 1st or 2nd, e.g. 12. Object of pity for Mr. T 13. Hankering 14. [Hey, buddy!] 18. Rights org. 22. Not single

briefly 60. Bit of riding gear 61. Lamebrain 62. Liz Taylor role of '63 64. Pittsburgh-to-Boston dir. 65. "Way cool!" 66. Neurotic condition, for short 67. "If I Ruled the World" rapper 68. ___TV ("Impractical Jokers" airer)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

DOWN

23. Suffix with drunk 24. Heavy-metal singer Snider 26. Vote for 27. You might get stuck with them 28. Spiced Indian tea 29. Civic engineer? 30. Title role for Charlton Heston 31. Hit hard 32. Pam of "Jackie Brown" 33. Director Polanski 34. "... to fetch ____ of water" 37. Tough to grasp 40. Donkey Kong, e.g. 43. Go beyond 44. The Cavs, on sports tickers 45. Since Jan. 1 47. Tick off 48. TV forensic series 49. "Empire" network 51. Title girl in a J. D. Salinger story 54. October birthstone 55. "Grand" or "petit" dance move 56. Dept. of Labor arm 58. What pi may be used to find 59. La Jolla campus,

SUDOKU

1. Long-running A&E series ... or, read as two words, a description of this puzzle's theme 9. Slip 15. Preventing progress 16. Slips 17. Scene at the big party at the finish line of the Iditarod Great Sled Race? 19. Squalid digs 20. And on and on 21. "Before ____ you go ..." 22. Crumple (up) 25. The Eagles' "____ Eyes" 28. What always perked up Fidel Castro when he was feeling despondent during the Cuban revolution? 35. Cherish 36. Inclined 38. Nelson Mandela's org. 39. Hamm of soccer 41. Novelist Rita ____ Brown 42. Folly 46. Not just a slip, in modern lingo 50. Sign meant to keep out all monogamists? 52. Senators Cruz and Kennedy 53. General Mills offering 54. Eyes of the tigre? 57. Egyptian ____ (cat breed) 60. Public health agcy. 63. Who to call when a person is nagging you? 69. Goddess with a European capital named for her 70. Salad green 71. Made like Baryshnikov 72. Totals

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itting the gym on the regular can be difficult for even the most dedicated, so if you’re looking for a fun new way to shake up your fitness routine, check out The Salt Mine, a co-op poledancing studio. The Salt Mine is a place where clients can learn new pole-dancing techniques or even host private parties. The Salt Mine got its start in 2014 when Mel Heins, one of the co-owners, asked different instructors in the pole-dancing community to perform in a showcase. The group had so much fun performing together that soon they were looking for a consistent spot to rehearse. When their current location became available, Heins and others founded The Salt Mine. Now, it’s co-owned by Heins, Katie Peterson and Sarah Baird, all of Salt Lake City. Peterson loves running a business where the entire pole-dancing community can come together in their journey. “We offer different contracts that allow a person to use The Salt Mine as a student, a trainer who has full control over her classes, or a key holder who can have access to The Salt Mine at their convenience,” she says. All Salt Mine instructors are certified and insured. The Salt Mine also brings in guest instructors and programs periodically. On March 19 and 20, The Salt Mine is hosting the first Flexibility Flow instructor training in the United States. “Flexibility is something I have to work hard at and something my students are always wanting more of,” Heins says. “This is an expert training and is going to be amazing. It’s a great program to help them meet their goals safely.” And the fun doesn’t end there—The Salt Mine will be hosting Josiah Grant in April. “[Grant] is a really special pole dancer with his own style,” Heins says. “All levels are welcome.” Grant will also be available for a meet-and-greet event on April 22. “We like to invite famous pole people from all over the world and host them for the community,” Heins says. In June, Karol Helms will be coming, and in November

@CITYWEEKLY

MARK JUDKINS

Pole Palace H

Katie Peterson, one of the three owners of The Salt Mine

Jeni Janover will be bringing her “Liquid Motion” movement method back to Salt Lake City. “The best part of working at the Salt Mine is the opportunity to meet and collaborate with so many amazing people,” Peterson says. “As an instructor I love seeing the self-confidence my students gain with each class. As an owner, I love working with [Heins] and [Baird]. We all have this vision for the Salt Mine and, as our vision becomes reality, it pushes us to expand our vision.” Not sure you’re ready to jump up on the pole? You can still check out The Salt Mine. Instructor and co-owner Sarah Baird also teaches yoga on Tuesday and Thursday nights—all skill levels are welcome. A three-class package is $30, or each class is $15.n

THE SALT MINE 734 West 1355 South, Salt Lake City 801-541-1967 TheSaltMineSLC.com

The Salt Mine’s interior entrance and retail

The Salt Mine’s dance troupe, SALT

COURTESY OF THE SALT MINE

MARK JUDKINS

52 | MARCH 17, 2016

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

T BEA

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Artist Steven Spazuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both welldone and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at Spazuk.com.)

and be with your special counterpart. He or she has the precise set of problems you need, and is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: Tinyurl. com/BoydQuote.)

I am a woman I see my addictive nature to men I hear the warnings I touch the broad muscular structure anyway I am indulging in my desires.

I feel regretful I fear the loneliness I hope to move forward I believe in a future filled with PEACE and love. I am a woman moving on.

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~C.L.C.~ Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

MARCH 17, 2016 | 53

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imagining how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.

~I am poem~

| COMMUNITY |

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In the coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right. But there is no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways—you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find

Poets Corner

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradic- and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination? Meditate on tory attitudes: an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all that the things-getting-taken-away period of your cycle is winding ideas, old and new.” Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, one-half truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.” of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene. That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio— GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the to take that advice to heart, Gemini. According to my analysis of intensity has been, it has blinded you to some of the possibilities the astrological omens, you not only have a license to engage in for collaborative growth that have been emerging. You may now rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures. get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures—or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have har- “The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the vested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them. least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope. In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will CANCER (June 21-July 22) At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. need the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of you. Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelwarm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw—and at once you ligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul. were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all— Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and about his creative process: “At each stage, I reach a balance, a imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary weakness—I re-enter through the breach—and I reconceive the whole. Thus, everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend toward it now.) this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn. You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) On a social-media site, I posted the following quote from self- work, you should now find where the cracks are, and let them help teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is unconditional love. The teach you how to proceed from here. job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “‘Pushing buttons’ is a meta- AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) phor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t “We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas you come up with something fresher?” So I did. Here are a Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one and the one we few potential substitutes for “push our buttons”: “tweak our are not aware of.” I suspect you’ll get big glimpses of your third manias,” “prank our obsessions,” “glitter-bomb our biases,” life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: the one you’re normally “squeeze our phobias,” “badger our compulsions,” “seduce our not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few repressions” or “prick our dogmas.” Whichever expression you blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your cur- revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing rent job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life and cathartic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life. is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas.

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y friend Ed is 93 years old. His daughter was my best friend. She died 12 years ago after a freak blood clot hit her lungs, thrown off from a mending broken ankle. Later, Ed’s second wife experienced health issues. They relocated out of state, so we lost touch. His wife suffered from dementia and believed that her fellow patients in the care center were her students, and that made her happy. She, too, passed. Ed’s now living in senior housing by himself and has macular degeneration, which basically means he’s visually impaired. At lunch, we hugged and smiled and reminisced about good things. Ed volunteers at one of our local hospitals three times a week and was given its “Volunteer of the Year” award recently. I don’t want to tell you what he actually does there because the rest of this story is a bit intimate, and I don’t want to bust his cover. You see, Ed can’t drive to his volunteer digs. So, he takes TRAX, and he gets excited when he talks about his riding experience because he’s really, really in love with “Traxie,” as he calls it. As he went on, I began to realize he wasn’t talking about the transit train at all. He was swooning over the female voice of the train car who gives directions and alerts riders on the train. He told me that, when he gets to his destination, the “sweet and careful, sedate business-like voice” tells him over the intercom, “This is the end of the line. It’s as far as we go.” Damn, his ride is over and his mental musings about his girlfriend on the electric rail line are dashed once again. For a month or so, he was convinced that Traxie was surely after his heart and was taking a bolder step for his affections. He heard her say over and over to him, “Use your phone to keep falling in love.” On subsequent trips he inched closer to her lips, (the overhead intercom) to hear her better. Alas, Traxie was really saying, “Consider others when using your phone and keep the volume low.” I asked Ed if Traxie could be found at other UTA stations around town, as I was eager to experience her dulcet tones, too. “Oh, no,” he replied instantly. “That’s her aunt.” He leaned over and whispered to me, “Traxie’s only on my train.” Wanting to help make his fantasies come true, I told Ed I had an “in” with UTA these days and bet I could track down the voice of Traxie. He quickly responded, “No, thanks. I don’t want to spoil this affair,” and grinned wistfully at the restaurant ceiling. n

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