City Weekly August 4, 2016

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

AUGUST 4, 2016 | VOL. 33

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For some cyber sex workers, the industry delivers both empowerment and the promise of wealth.

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CONTRIBUTOR KATHLEEN STONE

Editorial intern This Salt Lake City native is a senior majoring in journalism at the University of Montana. She writes on music and, more recently, created a video promoting our upcoming Best of Utah Arts issue, which she says was “a lot of work, but so much fun to make.” Her other interests include Frida Kahlo and eating hummus.

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SOAP BOX

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

Five Spot, July 21, Joel Johnson

Gaining a record for either addiction or recreational drug use is a huge evil. So many people abuse the hell out of powerful prescription drugs, yet are protected by HIPA A. BRYAN ORVIS Via Facebook

Cover story, July 21, “Holy Spirits” Ha that’s chill.

JEAN OFFRET Via Facebook YOLO! TIM PETERSON Via Facebook

Blog, July 22, “Mayor, Chief, Listen as Residents Speak Minds on Police/ Community Relation” Happy about this move.

JUDY MCLAUGHLIN AHUE Via Facebook

Joel, thank you for all of your hard work.

We don’t often get the opportunity to see the men behind the change. And you and [your business partner] Travis really have created change.

CJ STOTT Via CityWeekly.net

Straight Dope, July 21, “Bugged Out”

Nature vs.

Nurture.

Who Knew? @CityWeekly Thanks for sharing as it does explain a lot. @WLEADERSHIPLIVE Via Twitter

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

Opinion, July 21, “For the Books”

I am reading Bill Bryson’s The Road to Little Dribbling and I wish it would never end.

SUE STORY Via Facebook

Film review, July 21, Ice Age Collision Course

It’s the new Land Before Time and Air Buddies rolled into one.

DONOVAN BURNS Via Facebook

Arts feature, July 21, “A Sense of Place”

I think one of the temple burning would be nice.

ROBERT JENSEN Via Facebook The Salt Flats has a nice view.

SCOTT FRANDSEN Via Facebook

Publisher JOHN SALTAS

Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN A &E Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer COLBY FRAZIER Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofreader LANCE GUDMUNDSEN Dining Listings Coordinator MIKEY SALTAS Editorial Interns DASH ANDERSON, JORDAN FLOYD, CASEY KOLDEWYN, KATHLEEN STONE

Contributors CECIL

ADAMS, KATHERINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, BILL FROST, GEOFF GRIFFIN, MARYANN JOHANSON, MICHELLE LARSON, VICTOR MORTON, TED SCHEFFLER, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ZAC SMITH, ERIC D. SNIDER, BRIAN STAKER, ANDREW WRIGHT, BRYAN YOUNG

That’s not amore

One of the problems with SLC is that you can get a good meal, but the little things that make a great meal are missing. The reason we passed by a couple of good Italian restaurants to eat at Sicilia Mia [Food review, June 30, City Weekly] was the spaghetti nero di seppia. And it was excellent.

However, the rest of the experience was typical for SLC. The croutons were out of a bag, the tomatoes weren’t ripe, the fresh mozzarella was from Costco, we had to ask for bread and the wait staff walked around with their hands empty when there were dirty dishes on tables. I don’t think making a carbonara in a cheese bowl makes up for lack of attention to detail and a poorly trained wait staff.

THOMAS GERKE Sandy Correction: The future of Motos in Moab [Cover story, July 28, “Uneasy Riders,” City Weekly] will be voted on by the area’s Grand County Council, not the City Council.

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OPINION

Platform

“There was music in the café at night And revolution in the air.”

—Bob Dylan I don’t know about you, but I have had a surfeit of politicians, pundits and pollsters!

Their nattering is Muzak to my ears. Blah, blah, blah. It’s been 12 long months of tumult and tweets. No small irony that we now find ourselves with two, imperfect candidates. One is rich and secretive. The other is a rich buffoon. Neither has Barack Obama’s oratorical skill. Both provide fodder for fact-checkers and opposition researchers. Trailing the two like a pack of hyenas are the pundits who take turns with Anderson Cooper, Sean Hannity and their ilk. They bloviate. They argue loudly. They interrupt each other. They serve up specious “analysis” for hours on end. Where is Jon Stewart in this hour of need?

Perhaps the din of politics is more intrusive this year because the 2016 election is such a watershed moment. Besides the whiff of revolution in the air, an ideological realignment of the Supreme Court hangs in the balance. Each candidate promises to appoint great justices while steering the country to greatness. But most campaign promises have the half-life of a fad diet. Moreover, plenty of liberals mistrust Hillary, and a lot of conservatives loathe Trump. Only the party platforms have managed to reach consensus. At 50-plus pages each, the platforms are short on data but long on self-aggrandizement and patriotic tropes. Each criticizes the other. Taken together, they provide a sharply divided view of what needs to be done to achieve greatness—a noun defined differently by each party. Here are some extracts: Campaign Finance Reform D: We will fight for real campaign finance reform. Big money is drowning out the voices of everyday Americans.

R: We support repeal of federal

restrictions on political parties ... raising or repealing contribution limits, protecting the political speech of advocacy groups, corporations …

Death Penalty D: We will abolish the death penalty. The application of the death penalty is arbitrary and unjust. The cost to taxpayers far exceeds that of life imprisonment.

R: The constitutionality of the death penalty is firmly settled by its explicit mention in the Fifth Amendment. With the murder rate soaring in our great cities, we condemn the Supreme Court’s erosion of the right of the people to enact capital punishment in their states.

Public Health Exigencies D: Gun violence is a public-health issue.

R: Pornography is a public-health crisis.

Gun Control D: Keep weapons of war—such as assault weapons and large-capacity ammunition magazines—off our streets.

R: We oppose ill-conceived laws that would restrict magazine capacity or ban the sale of the most popular and common modern rifle. We support constitutionalcarry statutes Climate Change D: Lead the fight against climate change around the world, ensure no Americans are left out or left behind as we accelerate the transition to a clean-energy economy, and be responsible stewards of our natural resources and our public lands and waters.

R: Climate change is far from this nation’s most pressing national security issue. This is the triumph of extremism over common sense.

Same-Sex Marriage D: We applaud last year’s decision by the Supreme Court that recognized that LGBT people—like other Americans—have the right to marry the person they love.

R: Traditional marriage and family, based on marriage between one man and

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one woman, is the foundation for a free society and has for millennia been entrusted with rearing children and instilling cultural values. We condemn the Supreme Court’s ruling in ... United States v. Windsor.

If you were running for office, what would your platform be?

Income Inequality D: We will ensure those at the top contribute to our country’s future by establishing a multimillionaire surtax to ensure millionaires and billionaires pay their fair share.

R: We oppose tax policies that deliberately divide Americans or promote class warfare.

Public Lands D: We need policies and investments that will keep America’s public lands public, strengthen protections for our natural and cultural resources, increase access to parks and public lands … protect native species and wildlife, and harness the immense economic and social potential of our public lands and waters.

R: Congress should give authority to state regulators to manage energy resources on federally controlled public lands.

And so it goes. The devil is in the details, and there are plenty of them. The contrast between the platforms is stark. I found only two areas of agreement—support for Glass-Steagall-style bank regulation and funding for NASA. Both platforms do address the coming changes in the Supreme Court, however. Given the ages of the justices—two are in their 80s—the next president might fill as many as four vacancies. I believe the lesson of Citizens United is that we can’t abide any more ultra-conservative jurists like Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas. Confronting a Hobson’s choice, then, you have to vote for Hillary. That’s a tough call in Utah. Republicans despise the Clintons, but they share Mitt Romney’s dislike of Trump. As they twist in the revolutionary wind, I hope they are mulling Ted Cruz’s calculated advice: Vote your conscience. CW

Bryan Mannos: Free Ice Cream Fridays.

Jeremiah Smith: Abortions for some; tiny American flags for others.

Scott Renshaw: No one may be permitted to use a supermarket self-check lane without passing a test demonstrating basic competence.

Mikey Saltas:

Increase background checks on gun purchases, end war on women, increase minimum wage, free community college. Man, I miss Bernie.

Josh Scheuerman: Ban plastic bags, fund skateparks and after-school art programs, divest coal production with increased renewable energy and liquidate the Zion curtain! Vote Scheuerman!

Tyeson Rogers: My platform would be: the truth. Let’s keep it 100, America.

Jordan Floyd: Essentially, all things Karl Marx circa 1848.

Mason Rodrickc: My platform would be to give every American a handful of gerbils.

They would fall soooo in love with them, but then they will all die and America will feel bad about what it just did. America needs a time out.

Doug Kruithof: Linoleum.

Nicole Enright: The president doesn’t really have that much power. Do people get that?

They are the face, but not really the power.

So on that note, I’d like everyone to write my name in November. I’ll do absolutely nothing and look great while doing it.

Sierra Sessions: Platforms? Probably Louis Vuitton.

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Liquor Lawmakers

Actually, Utah legislators, it’s not about the law so much. Research shows that parents are the key to teenage drinking.

And isn’t that what Republicans prefer anyway—to get government out of family business? But wait. Lawmakers continue to tinker with the state’s liquor laws to universal ridicule. The Salt Lake Tribune enumerated many of the silly rules for tastings. Hey, it’s just a tasting, guys!

Now liquor manufacturers have to create distinct spaces for tastings so kids can’t see. Sometimes that’s a cramped hallway. And of course, you have to have “substantial food” and a tasting fee. The Hive Brewery, according to Fox News, thinks it all has to do with LDS Church influence. And it might. Mormons do stack the DABC board. There’s no research to show that Zion curtains or other restrictions keep kids from drinking.

It’s the parents, stupid.

Get the Story Straight

And on the passing-stupidlaws front, we should look at the story of sex trafficking in Utah. To Deseret News’ credit, they have been running stories about research and legal cases involving sex trafficking. A recent study showed that most sex workers have no pimps, but rather turned to the trade because of family or friends. And we don’t mean gentle urging. Take the story of Jose Balam Valencia, whose daughter testified about his rape and mistreatment.

So what does the wrong story do to victims? It “leads to laws and solutions that do nothing for a person running away from an abusive group home, or LGBTQ youth with nowhere to stay,” Johannah Westmacott, housing coordinator for a homeless youth service program in New York City, told the D-News.

Manning the Watershed

Salt Lake City has a lot of collaborative relationships in their watershed management. Just ask them. But that’s not the way that many who live and play in the Wasatch Front canyons see it. Salt Lake has been the only big city granted watershed regulation rights, a Deseret News story notes. But three other cities are due to join the ranks, and no one knows exactly what that will mean. As it is, dogs aren’t allowed up in the canyons (deer are, of course), and swimming, wading and motorized boating are prohibited.

That, notes one detractor, happens even though water comes from Jordanelle. A state committee is looking at Salt Lake’s unusual powers—obviously because of population and development pressures.

If the city plays nice, maybe the Legislature won’t repeal its watershed oversight.

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS LAURA MULLEN

@kathybiele

FIVE SPOT

JORDAN FLOYD

BY KATHARINE BIELE

LAURA MULLEN

HITS&MISSES

Murray resident Ryan Bahr is an avid hiker and prospective medical student completing his undergraduate work at the University of Utah. Oh, and if you care to know, he’s also an amputee. The 21-year-old recently was a counselor at the Amputee Coalition’s Paddy Rossbach Youth Camp, which is designed to help young amputees feel like any kid should: normal and accepted. The decision to help children who face similar struggles as Bahr seems to be an easy one for him. Perhaps, just as easy as the decision to amputate his right foot, which he made by simply saying, “Get rid of it.”

What is your story? How did you become an amputee?

I was born with bilateral clubfeet, which means my feet were turned upward and inward. I had seven surgeries throughout my life on my right foot, and then at age 18, I electively decided to have it amputated. I was between two choices: either have a triple arthrodesis—which means they would fuse all three joints so that I would pretty much have dragged my foot with me everywhere I went, and with that comes no running, no hiking, no biking, which is what I really enjoy doing—or amputation. I knew from that point, amputation was what I wanted. In February of 2014, I had the right one amputated.

Was the choice to amputate an easy choice, per se?

When I was younger, I actually used to say, ‘Cut if off.’ My parents used to say, ‘Be careful what you wish for.’ For me, I knew I didn’t want the foot. We used to go hiking as a family over spring break down in Zion National Park, and I couldn’t do more than a mile without pain. I used to say, ‘Leave me at the bottom,’ but they would drag me to the top. Now with the amputation, I mean, I hiked 14 miles in Arches National Park this year, I did 10 with my sister in [Zion National Park] and we are planning on doing Havasupai Falls. With the amputation, I can do so much more than I used to. My dad was afraid to have me do it, but I was ready, and I said, ‘Just get rid of it.’

What is the Amputee Coalition’s Paddy Rossbach Youth Camp and how did you get involved as a counselor?

The National Amputee Coalition of America has for 10 years now, I think, done a camp for kids ages 10-18 in Ohio. They do five days for the kids, where they come out, each with any limb difference—it doesn’t have to be amputation—and they do fun things to try and get them to see they can be normal. We went out as counselors two days before the kids and did team-building activities. I was with a co-counselor and we were [in charge of] 11- and 12-year-olds for those five days. I had 10 of them. We did ropes courses, canoeing, fishing, arts and crafts, running and sports, swimming, and had a dance for everybody.

It’s a big camp for everybody to come together and see there are other people like them.

And for the kids, they see they aren’t alone.

For you, what was the most meaningful part of the camp?

On the first day, everybody is so timid and shy. It’s life-changing to see them be shy and not know each other—and then on the last day, they were one. The girls were asking guys for phone numbers, and the same with the guys. The dance, it’s not really an ask-to-dance kind of thing, but the older kids were doing that. It’s cool to see these kids come together and see that, hey, we can be friends, and even though we don’t all live in the same place, we are the same.

What are your plans for future involvement in the amputee community?

Every year, they do this camp in July. I’ll apply again. I’m planning to go to medical school, and I don’t know what that will bring as far as being able to go to this camp. But I’ll look at that when I’m actually in medical school. I really do it for the kids. It’s not necessarily for me. I used to be 50-pounds overweight before my amputation. There are bigger kids with amputations out there, and they feel like they are teased more and not in the group.

If I can even help one of them see that they are a person still, and they can be someone in the future, that makes me happy.

—JORDAN FLOYD comments@cityweekly.net

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For the past year or so, steel shipping containers have been piling up on every vacant commercial lot in every town in America, offered for sale or lease. What’s up?

Is there a new, better way to ship and deliver bulk cargo? Or has there been a decrease in shipping due to the worldwide recession?

Could shipping containers provide a low-cost housing alternative?

—Brent McGregor

Past year? Buddy, empty shipping containers have been piling up for decades.

Not just in the lot across the street, incidentally, but also on the ocean floor, which accepts thousands of the steel boxes annually—they fall off boats in bad weather, etc. This has risen to the level of a capitalP problem, with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Atmospheric Administration publishing a 2014 study of the containers’ effects on aquatic ecosystems. Short answer? Not great.

But that’s a question for another day.

Back on land, the reasons for the glut of intermodal cargo containers, as they’re called, are neither mysterious nor particularly complicated. Take the relationship between the U.S. and China. The relative strength of the American dollar, paired with the weakness of the Chinese economy, means we’re currently buying a lot more stuff from them than they are from us. So a ship laden with iPhones crosses the Pacific to the Port of Los Angeles, unloads, and … then what? It either takes the empties back, or it leaves them behind. Extrapolate this over the vast, intricate web of various international economic relationships—and consider that moving those empties around the globe accounts for 5-8 percent of shippers’ operating costs, maybe $20 billion a year all told—and you’re looking at a whole lot of accumulated empty containers. As I say, it’s been a problem for a while: Back in 2001, for instance, the Chicago City Council passed an ordinance limiting the height to which empty containers could be stacked— they were becoming an eyesore.

Before we go on, though, let’s pause for a brief appreciation of containers. Prior to their invention, things were basically thrown onto boats willy-nilly, which as you can imagine wasn’t ideal for business— for one, it took forever to load a ship that way. In 1956, a North Carolina truckingcompany owner named Malcom McLean started moving cargo in stackable containers (wheelless trailers, essentially) that could be transferred straight from truck to boat. It made so much sense that a mere five years later, the federal government announced it’d give subsidies only to ships configured to carry such boxes. International sizing standards soon emerged, resulting in the Lego-like multicolored stacks of 8-foot-wide containers, mainly in lengths of 20 or 40 feet, seen on cargo ships

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Bulk Cargo Carcasses

today. This was such a boon for efficiency that within 20 years the cost of shipping from North America to Asia dropped by half; The Economist has argued that containerized shipping has been more important to globalization than 50 years of trade agreements. (As ever with globalization, not all benefits have been equally distributed: The ease with which American cotton could be shipped to China and shipped back in the form of T-shirts helped sink the U.S. textile industry.)

OK, yay for American ingenuity and all that. But what the hell do we do with all the empty ones? You’re not the first to suggest they could be used as dwellings; this is one of those trendy ideas that the media marvels over every few years, and it’s been tried here and there. Containers could house the homeless, the thinking goes, or provide temporary lodging in the wake of natural disasters.

There’s a catch or two, though, as pointed out in a 2011 article at the architecture website ArchDaily. Designed to stand up to all sorts of weather, shipping containers come coated with some pretty toxic stuff—think lead-based paint—that has to be stripped off before they’re inhabitable, and their plywood floors contain things like arsenic to keep pests away. “The average container eventually produces nearly a thousand pounds of hazardous waste before it can be used as a structure,” ArchDaily notes.

“All of this, coupled with the fossil fuels required to move the container into place with heavy machinery, contribute significantly to its ecological footprint.” However unsexy, it’s often greener and cheaper to just build a new wood-framed structure than to repurpose a container.

Housing aside, another proposed solution to the empty-container problem is the “gray box”: Moving away from the current practice of companies owning, painting, and labeling their own containers, and toward a more fluid, coordinated system where everybody draws from a collective pool, the boxes reassigned as needed. Will this happen? Not immediately. Any comprehensive fix will be a heavy lift, trying to get all the shippers, regulators, et al. in sync, meaning you’ll have to put up with the eyesore a while longer, I’m afraid. But hey, better in your front yard than banging into the Great Coral Reef, right? CW Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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NEWS

ENVIRONMENT

Toxic Times

BY COLBY FRAZIER cfrazier@cityweekly.net @ColbyFrazierLP

L

ike the sludge of a toxic winter inversion along the Wasatch Front, the thick soup of algae that recently clogged Utah Lake acted as a stark visual reminder that we humans do not tread lightly upon the resources our lives require.

During the lake’s 14-day closure, pictures of the algae slurry spread across the globe. Wired magazine even penned a story with the headline, “Utah Lake’s Poop-Driven Algal Bloom is a Crappy Situation.”

While algal blooms and the seeds that breed them—nutrients like phosphorus and nitrogen—are nothing new to Utah Lake, the size and toxicity of this particular bloom was unprecedented.

And while the ever-brightening sun and global warming play an integral role in helping to reduce snowpacks and penetrate the shallow waters of Utah Lake to help give birth to algae, the humans who inhabit Utah also contribute mightily to the problem.

The largest source of phosphorus pumped into Utah Lake arrives courtesy of the eight wastewater treatment plants that dot its banks. Pretty much every single flush of the toilet in Utah County ends up—after being treated—in the lake. Likewise, the bulk of wastewater in the Salt Lake Valley is processed and disposed of by four treatment plants into the Jordan River, which is born in Utah Lake.

That both Utah Lake and the Jordan River aren’t gems in the state’s quiver of natural resources has for decades confounded some environmental groups and recreation lovers.

The highly visual nature of the algal bloom, though, like Utah’s polluted air, is a great reminder, some say, that Utahns ought to be doing more to care for their environment.

“The visibility of the whole thing is certainly dramatic,” says Dr. Brian Moench, president of Utah Physicians for a Healthy Environment. “The algae bloom should be a stark reminder, easily visualized by anybody, of the climate crisis threatening basic life support systems. It threatens our air, it threatens our water, it threatens our food supply.”

Ben Holcomb, an environmental scientist with the Utah Division of Water

UTAH DEPT. OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY

UTAH DEPT. OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY

There’s a little bit of us all in the recent algal bloom at Utah Lake.

An aerial photo of Utah Lake in the early days of the algal bloom; a water quality tester captures a sample.

Quality, says the algal bloom was unlike anything witnessed before on the lake. Like Moench, he says it appears as though the bloom—which prompted more than 500 people to contact the Utah Poison Control Center during the lake’s closure—can thank rising temperatures as a contributing factor.

Utah officials, Holcomb says, haven’t needed to be overly concerned with algal blooms until recently. While nutrient levels in the lake have been high for decades, and the lake has always had shallow portions which can help breed algae, he says a few recent developments have played a key role in the large algal bloom.

Among them is a string of light snowpacks. In dry years, he says, more water is held back in mountain reservoirs like Jordanelle and Deer Creek. That means less water tumbles down the Provo River into Utah Lake. At the same time, businesses and municipalities with water rights downstream from Utah Lake (downstream is the Jordan River), still need water. And with warmer winters, the water in Utah Lake freezes less, and is exposed to more sunlight.

“Utah Lake, in a sense, is being pinched from both ends, where it’s not receiving much and it’s delivering a lot,” Holcomb says. “As you draw the water down, making things more shallow, making things warmer and concentrating the nutrients that are there, we’re just kind of adding insult to injury.”

Since Holcomb doesn’t control the sun’s thermometer or the winter’s ability to create snow, he says state officials have eyed stormwater runoff and the high nutrient levels spewing from wastewater treatment plants as areas that can be improved.

The Division of Water Quality has given notice to water treatment plants that by 2020, they need add new technology that will allow them to discharge less nutrient-laden water into the state’s waterways.

“The significant source that we’re keying in on, and not solely, we’re

keying in on the wastewater treatment upgrades,” Holcomb says. “There’s a large number of them that need to be upgraded to, in the very least, what’s available in [today’s] technology.”

As the Utah Lake algal bloom kept boaters and other fun-seekers off of Utah Lake, the toxic sludge migrated north into the Jordan River, with high levels of cyanobacteria, which can be produced by the algae, being detected at the mouths of Big and Little Cottonwood creeks.

Laura Hansen, executive director of the Jordan River Commission, says the river and the lake where its water comes from have come a long way since the days when livestock companies poured so much blood into the river that it ran red, and raw sewage discharges were the norm.

But recently, Hansen says wastewater treatment plants, which are perhaps the heaviest users of the river (during certain times of the year, the majority of the Jordan River’s water is treated wastewater) have shown an interest in the River Commission, asking for places on the organization’s board.

While treatment facilities grapple with nutrient levels, Hansen says that, like the river and its connection to Utah Lake, regular, everyday choices made by the people who live here can be impactful.

“It’s our fertilizer on our lawn, it’s the grass clippings in our gutter, it’s the wastewater treatment facilities, it’s our water consumption in our state, which draws down the level of water in all of these water bodies so that everything is more concentrated,” Hansen says.

Just as this combination of factors magnifies the concentration of certain components in an algal bloom, so too does it magnify the interconnectivity of all living things. What happens in Utah Lake also happens in the Jordan River, the pristine mountain creeks that feed it and provide much of the Salt Lake Valley’s water supply, and the Great Salt Lake.

While Utah Lake and the Jordan River have been maligned as polluted

wastelands at various points in history, it is easy to look at both water sources and wonder how it is that they are not valued on the scale of other lakes and rivers across the country.

This always puzzled Candace Jacobson, who moved to Utah County decades ago to attend college and never left. She says a brief effort to form an advocacy organization with the lake’s interests in mind occurred two decades ago, but was scuttled when it was discovered that Utah Lake’s water belonged to downstream interests.

“To have a lake that’s 95,000 acres that’s for the most part unusable for anything, recreation or any commercial value at all, made me really interested in finding out how it turned out that way,” Jacobson says. “There’s just never been anyone who suggested that we can’t keep abusing the lake.”

To Jacobson, Utah Lake is an example of how the state takes care of its natural resources.

“I think in this environment, where we have the Public Lands Initiative and we have all of our representatives in Washington pounding their chests about ‘We need our land back,’” she says, “I just think people should take note and think, ‘Do we take care of it, or do we sell it to the highest bidder?’”

Zach Frankel, executive director of the Utah Rivers Council, echoes Jacobson’s sentiment about the lake and the river being managed as something other than natural assets.

And if there’s one thing that comes to Frankel’s mind when discussing how Utah Lake and the Jordan River have been managed, it’s “plumbing.”

“The Utah Lake and Jordan River have been managed almost totally as a liability,” Frankel says. “Here in Utah, we’ve ignored many of the economic benefits that come from recreation.

We’ve treated our rivers like plumbing and people don’t want to recreate in plumbing fixtures. They want to recreate in nature.” CW

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AUGUST 4, 2016 | 13

THE

NUEVE

THE LIST OF NINE

BY MASON RODRICKC & MICHELLE L ARSON

@MRodrickc

USED BOOK SALE

Yes, some people still read real books.

So, this is your day, book lovers. That funky little used bookstore on 11th East is holding its sixth annual parking lot sale. Wander into the bookstore among stacks and stacks of pre-loved paperbacks, their wear showing what good reads they are. You’ll find prices so low you won’t be able to walk away with just one. Central Book Exchange, 2017 S. 1100 East, 801-485-3913, Friday, Aug. 5, noon-8 p.m., free, CentralBookExchange.com

AFRICAN FESTIVAL

African culture is rich and musical— and you can participate this weekend at the inaugural African Festival. Learn how to play African drums. Enjoy authentic African food from various part of the continent, crafts, fashion, dancing, talents, poetry, an African Zumba class and lots more. There’s even a playhouse and balloon art for the kids. The festival is designed to share and showcase African tradition, culture, heritage and customs, and also serves as a vehicle to promote Utah businesses in general, and African small businesses in particular. South Towne Expo, 9575 S. State, Sandy, 808-237-0543, Saturday, Aug. 6, 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Facebook. com/UtahAfricanFestival/?fref=ts

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CITIZEN REVOLT In a week, you can CHANGE THE WORLD

Nine new sports that should be showcased at Outdoor Retailer show this week:

9. Sit-down-and-like-turn-

over-sometimes paddle boarding.

8. Horse learnin’.

7. Sleep-fit.

6. Rubixminton.

5. Slowboarding.

4. Competitive fitness blogging.

3. Sag gliding.

2. Baguette fencing.

1. Blame tossing.

KIDS DANCE CLASSES

We know your kids are perfect, but wouldn’t you like to see them learn enduring skills such as rhythm and coordination? Better yet, they’ll gain confidence that contributes to their future success in life. That’s what DF Dance Studio promises as they open 14 new dance classes for youth ages 4-18.

Come to one of the free parties every Wednesday through mid-August, meetand-greets with the program director and fun classes. The Glow in the Dark Dance Party is one of the best blacklight parties around. White and brightcolored clothing is recommended, and kids can take dance classes in styles such as ballroom, ballet, tap, jazz, salsa, hip-hop and break dancing. DF Dance Studio, 2978 S. State, 801-466-0490, Wednesday, Aug. 10, 11 a.m.-noon, free, DFDancestudio.com

—KATHARINE BIELE Send events to revolt@cityweekly.net

S NEofW the

Trompe l’Oeil Jungle A conservation biologist at Australia’s University of New South Wales said in July that his team was headed to Botswana to paint eyeballs on cows’ rear ends. It’s a solution to the problem of farmers who are now forced to kill endangered lions to keep them away from their cows. However, the researchers hypothesize, since lions hunt by stealth and tend to pass up kills if the prey spots them, painting on eyeballs might trick the lions to choose other prey. (For the same reason, woodcutters in India wear masks painted with faces—backward—for protection against tigers.)

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

Suspicions Confirmed Many website and app users are suspected of “agreeing” to privacy policies and “terms of service” without comprehending them (or even reading them), though most judges routinely assume the user to have consented to be bound by them. In a controlled-test report released in July, researchers from York University and University of Connecticut found that 74 percent skipped the privacy policy altogether, but, of the “readers,” the average time spent was 73 seconds (for wordage that should have taken 30 minutes), and time “reading” terms of service was 51 seconds when it should have taken 16 minutes. (If users had read closely, they might have noticed that they had agreed to share all their personal data with the National Security Agency and that terms of service included giving up their first-born child.)

WEIRD

“Big Porn” Gives Back In June, the online mega-website Pornhub announced a program to help blind pornography consumers by adding 50 “described videos” to its catalog, with a narrator doing play-by-play of the setting, the actors, clothing (if any) and the action. Said a Pornhub vice president, “It’s our way of giving back.” n Later in June, another website of the same stripe (IJustCame.org) inaugurated a plan to donate a penny to women’s health or abuse prevention organizations every time a user reached a successful “ending” while viewing its videos (maximum two per person per day). Its first day’s haul was $39, or $13 for each of three charities (including the Mariska Hargitay-supported Joyful Heart Foundation).

What Goes Around, Comes Around In May, the Times of India reported the death of a man known only as Urjaram, in Rajasthan, India, when, while hosting a party, he forgot that while he was enjoying himself, he had left his camel in the sun all day (during a historic heat wave) with its legs tied together. When Urjaram finally went outside, the enraged camel “lifted him by the neck,” “threw him to the ground” and “chewed on his body,” severing his head.

Leading Economic Indicators Update: News of the Weird reported in 2007 and 2014 that, despite the abundant desert, Middle East developers were buying plenty of beach sand from around the world (because the massive concrete construction in Dubai and Saudi Arabia, among other places, requires coarser sand than the desert grains tempered for centuries by sun and wind). The need has now grown such that London’s The Independent reported in June that black market gangs, some violent, are stealing beach sand—and that two dozen entire islands in Indonesia have virtually disappeared since 2005 because of sand-mining. n Farmers high in Nepal’s Himalayas are heavily dependent on harvesting a fungus which, when consumed by humans, supposedly produces effects similar to Viagra’s—but the region’s rising temperatures and diminished rainfall (thought to result from global climate change) threaten the output, according to a June New York Times dispatch. Wealthy Chinese men in Hong Kong and Shanghai might pay the equivalent of $50,000 a pound for the “caterpillar fungus,” and about a million Nepalese are involved in the industry, producing about 135 tons a year. (The fungus is from the head of ghost moth larvae living in soil at altitudes of more than 10,000 feet.)

People With Issues Joshua Long, 26, was arrested in Carlisle, Pa., in June for possession of a suspected-stolen human brain (which he allegedly kept in a shopping bag under the porch at his aunt’s trailer home). Police believe that the brain had been a medical teaching aid, but that Long was lacing his marijuana with the brain’s embalming fluid. (Long and a former resident of the trailer home called the brain “Freddy.”)

The Passing Parade Large-schnozzed people from all over Europe squared off in June for the World Nose Championship in Langenbruck, Germany (held every five years since 1961). After judges applied precision calipers (adding length plus width), Hans Roest was declared the winner. (Also reported: Contestants believe snuff tobacco and beer to be size-enhancing substances.) n An unnamed man, 55, and woman, 40, were arrested near Joplin, Mo., in July, after being spotted riding a stolen lawn mower at 8:45 a.m.—naked. They told police that someone had stolen their clothes while they were skinny-dipping and that the mower was their best option to make it home.

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AUGUST 4, 2016 | 15

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Visit any Wednesday at 6pm

n The thief who ransacked a community greenhouse in County Durham, England, in July got away, but, according to residents, among his bounty was a bottle of rum that is usually offered only as a constipation remedy, in that it contained a heavy dose of the aggressive laxative “lactulose.” Said one resident, “Maybe (the thief has) left a trail” for the police.

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n One of America’s major concerns, according to a U.S. congressman, should be the risk that if an apocalyptic event occurs and we are forced to abandon Earth with only a few species to provide for humanity’s survival, NASA might unwisely populate the space “ark” with same-sex couples instead of procreative male-female pairs. This warning was conveyed during the U.S. House session on May 26 by Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (who seemed not to be aware that gay males might contribute sperm to lesbians for species-continuation).

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Can’t Possibly Be True A motorist in Regina, Saskatchewan, was issued a $175 traffic ticket on June 8 after he pulled over to ask if he could assist a homeless beggar on the sidewalk. According to the police report cited by CTV News, the “beggar” was actually a cop on stakeout looking for drivers not wearing seat belts (who would thus pay the city $175). Driver Dane Rusk said he had unbuckled his belt to lean over in the seat to give the “beggar” $3—and moments later, the cop’s partner stopped Rusk (thus earning Regina a total of $178!).

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16 | AUGUST 4, 2016

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ENTERTAINMENT PICKS AUGUST 4-10, 2016

JEFF FASANO

CAL BECK

COURTESY THE LEONARDO

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

CRAIG FISHER

ESSENTIALS

the

Salt Lake City’s beautiful Abravanel Hall—home to the Utah Symphony—is a magnificent place in which to enjoy classical music. There are, however, limitations to any venue. For instance, it’s not the best place for firing off cannons.

Deer Valley’s Snow Park Amphitheater, however, is a perfect place for musical munitions, as the Deer Valley Music Festival hosts the Utah Symphony’s performance of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s famous 1812 Overture, under the baton of Rei Hotoda. It has become a crowdfavorite staple over the years, as one of the bestknown pieces of music in the symphonic canon— yes, pun intended—sets the mountain air ringing with actual cannon fire (courtesy of Cannoneers of the Wasatch) during its climax. You’ll feel like you’re there on the battlefield, defending Mother Russia against the invading army of Napoleon, in a victorious battle Tchaikovsky was commemorating with his 1882 composition.

The evening’s program includes a number of other highlights to get even more bang for your buck. Utah native Will Hagen (pictured) visits as soloist to perform Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D major. And, in honor of the Summer Games getting underway in Rio de Janeiro, John Williams’ Olympic Fanfare and Theme—written originally for the 1984 Summer Games in Los Angeles—will also be featured. Rounding out the program are Shostakovich’s Festive Overture, Borodin’s Polovtsian Dances from Prince Igor, Khatchaturian’s “Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia” and Sousa’s Washington Post March.

Head up to Park City for an evening of triumphant music. (SR) Utah Symphony: Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture @ Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive, Park City, 801-355-2787, Aug. 5, 7:30 p.m., gates 5:30 p.m., $15-$75.

DeerValleyMusicFestival.org

Waiting is hard. Sometimes that’s what makes the thing you’re waiting for more valuable, like it does with blue moons; other times it simply drains your patience. Thankfully, you don’t have to wait for any lunar phenomena to enjoy Holladay’s annual Blue Moon Arts Festival.

An actual blue moon won’t be making an appearance at this year’s festival. However, it has headlined the event a few times in the past, as it did in 2012, which gave the festival its name. Now, coincidental blue moons are simply a nice bonus to the regular festivities.

Judging by attendance, the event is worth it even without one. Margo Richards, Holladay City’s Arts Council coordinator, says, “It doesn’t seem to matter when it’s held; the community comes together for a fun-filled day of music, artisan booths, food, free kids crafts, beer and wine.” Given the wide variety of activities, the festival’s popularity probably shouldn’t be too surprising. For its current iteration, all of the festival’s music will come from local entertainers, including Tamarra Evans, Excellence in the Community, Hot House West and Joshy Soul and the Cool.

A small firework show ends the festival activities, so feel free to sit back and enjoy the lights sparkling against the night sky. Even without a blue moon in the background, the setting shouldn’t disappoint. “When you are on the lawn watching the concert with Mt. Olympus as a backdrop, it just doesn’t get any better,” Richards says. (Casey Koldewyn) Holladay Blue Moon Festival @ City Hall Park, 4580 S. 2300 East, Holladay, Aug. 6, 3-10 p.m., free. HolladayArts.org

The Leonardo has hosted a number of large, well-received traveling exhibits, such as Body Worlds and Dead Sea Scrolls. This week, the downtown museum that connects science and technology with creativity and art is opening its very own gigantic exhibit.

Flight will be a permanent exhibit at The Leonardo—in part because, once you’ve knocked out some walls to fit a C-131 military aircraft inside the building, you’re probably going to want to leave it there for a while. The plane, which moved into the museum in June, measures 105 feet, 4 inches from wing-tip to wing-tip, and has just 6 inches of clearance to the walls of the museum on either side.

The plane is just one of the attractions that make up Flight. Visitors can immerse themselves in the world of animal flight, or fastforward to future long-term explorations of space. There will also be a “Tunnel of Dreams” that covers the history of flight and those who studied it—including the museum’s namesake, Leonardo da Vinci. The Tunnel exits into a 1969 replica living room, where guests can watch the first moon landing.

Those who dream of flying can try the two “hyper-realistic” flight simulators on display to get the feel of what it’s like to be in control of a plane. The Rockwell Collins simulators are the same type used to train pilots.

The exhibit is included with general admission to The Leonardo, which offers many other exhibits and activities such as Perception and Leonardo’s Studio. (Geoff Griffin) Flight @ The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, opens Aug. 6 as permanent exhibit, free with regular admission, open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m., 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Friday, $8.95-$12.95. TheLeonardo.org

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 21

Many of history’s most horrifying tragedies have been captured in iconic photographs, like a terrified 9-year-old girl fleeing a napalm attack in Vietnam. But many of the people captured in those photographs lived afterward. How does life go on after surviving a nightmare?

In her 2012 play The Witness, Vivienne Franzmann speculated on the aftermath of a heartbreaking real-life photo from the 1994 Rwandan genocide, which showed a crying baby reaching across a pile of corpses, trying to get to her dead mother. Franzmann imagines that the orphaned girl, here named Alex, was taken in by the British photographer, Joseph, who captured that image. Twenty years later, Alex has been living a comfortable life, and is returning home after her first year at Cambridge—but the ghosts of her past still haunt her, especially as she comes to wonder if secrets are hidden just out of frame in that famous photograph.

People Productions artistic director (and this production’s director) Richard Scharine finds plenty of thorny issues in the play’s moral questions, including America’s own guilt over not interceding in Rwanda. “The dramatic power behind the play is a question of where guilt and family coincide,” Scharine says in an email reply. “I’m not sure I believe in God, but I do believe in the Taxman—that sooner or later, someone will show up at the door and demand to see the books. Sooner or later you have to face the consequences of your actions.”

(Scott Renshaw) People Productions: The Witness @ Sugar Space for the Arts, 132 S. 800 West, Aug. 4-14, Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., 2 p.m. matinees Aug. 7, 13 & 14, $10-$15.

PeopleProductions.org

Flight

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SATURDAY 8.6

Holladay Blue Moon Arts Festival

SATURDAY 8.6

Utah Symphony: Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture

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FRIDAY 8.5

People Productions: The Witness

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THURSDAY 8.4

Responsible Nerdery

It’s not impossible to fold your lifelong pleasures into a grown-up life.

BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

F

or schoolchildren all over the city, it’s still summer break. Responsibilities are few, and going back to school seems like a lifetime away. Their days are filled with the usual summer fare: games and play, time spent at parks and on trails, sleepovers for as many days as parents will allow.

When I had my summer breaks, my days would be spent in week-long sleepover binges of role-playing games. It didn’t even matter what we were playing; there was no plan.

We’d grab a random stack of RPG books, roll up characters, and be playing an adventure in an hour. My son has been doing this all summer with his friends, and I marvel at it.

As an adult, it’s a lot harder to be a nerd for things, because you have to do it responsibly. How do you maintain a relationship with a spouse if you’re playing video games for 8-hour stretches? How do you have a stable home life if you have a group of people over every night to play tabletop games? As you get older, it gets even harder. How do you balance time spent being a geek with your growing responsibilities— as a person with a day job, as a partner, as a parent?

It’s not as easy as it looks, but there are definitely ways to get that balance. Having loved ones that are fellow nerds can make it much easier. I can get a role-playing game together with my son and his friends if I want in on that. My wife will play card games and some board games with me and our mutual friends. They’ll all come to conventions with me, and deal with me going out of town occasionally for one. They have to put up with a little bit of that anyway, since I’m a semi-professional nerd.

Society-at-large has a dim view of this sort of life of nerdery. We’re told we need to grow up. We’re accused of infantilizing society by not taking serious issues seriously. These critiques are largely without merit, though, made by people who simply don’t understand the value of geekdom. We learn critical thinking skills and creativity playing role-

big SHINY ROBOT

playing games. We learn moral and ethical lessons as valuable as those in faith traditions from stories like Star Wars and Star Trek. Science fiction and fantasy at its best shows us reflections of our world, and helps us understand the plight of others. We can take these lessons and use them to become more responsible citizens.

Sure, I’m using people in tights punching each other to get to that point, but how is that aspect any different than following a professional sports team?

No, telling someone who is into nerdy things to grow up isn’t helpful. If they’re anything like me, they have grown up, because I’ve been able to fold that identity into my adult responsibilities. I don’t get to play video games as much as I used to, and having friends come over for impromptu RPG sessions is a thing of the past. But I can balance my life and my interests, even if my interests are “infantile” in the opinion of the same bullies who didn’t like my interests when I was younger, either.

It’s not wrong to love the same things you loved as an adolescent once you’re an adult. You can manage to keep a hold of those parts of your identity without “outgrowing” them. There’s no reason to discard your interests. You just need to help them evolve in a way that makes sense for your life. Sometimes, that means you’ll look back with longing and nostalgia for the days when you had it better and easier, but that’s just part of being an adult.

Uncle Ben once told his nephew that, “With great power comes great responsibility.” What he might have said, if he’d been given the time, was that finding that equilibrium would be more difficult the older you get. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth striving for. CW

DAVID NEWKIRK

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A&E

Deadline for voting August 29th

cityweekly.net/bestofutaharts

Performing Arts

ONLINE Dance Production  The Nijinsky Revolution [Ballet West]  Revere [Repertory Dance Theatre]  They Reminisce [Bboy Federation]

Theater Production  The Count of Monte Cristo [Pioneer Theatre Company]  The Kreutzer Sonata [Plan-B Theatre Company]  Stupid F**king Bird [SLAC] Theater Original Play

Dance Choreography

 Stephen Brown, sNaked [SB Dance]

 Crowdsourced Comedy

 Javen Tanner, Sleeping Beauty’s Dream [Sting & Honey]

 Garret Smith, If We Linger/10,000 Hours [Salt Contemporary

 Toy Soup

 Daniel Charon, Together Alone [Ririe-Woodbury]

Dance]

Theater Performance

 April Fossen, Stage Kiss [Wasatch Theatre Company]

Individual Dancer  Emily Adams [Ballet West]  Efren Corado Garcia [Repertory Dance Theatre]  Lorin Hansen [Samba Fogo]

 Teresa Sanderson, Wit [Wasatch Theatre Company]

 Aaron Swenson, Buyer & Cellar [Pygmalion Productions]

VOTING ONLY

Vote for your favorites now and help support our local art community.

Online votes will be automatically entered to win a pair of tickets from a variety of arts groups.

 QuickWits

Theater Touring Production [write-in]__________________________________ Opera/Classical Music Performance or Production [write-in] __________________________________

LiterAry Arts Fiction Book  Dream House on Golan Drive, by David Pace  Hour of the Bees, by Lindsay Eagar  Summerlost, by Ally Condie

Non-Fiction Book Poetry Collection  All Better Now, by Emily Wing Smith  Blue Patina, by Nancy Takacs  The Mirror Test: America at War in Iraq and  Flicker, by Lisa Bickmore Afghanistan, by Kael Weston  Flight, by Katharine Coles  The Three-Year Swim Club, by Julie Checkoway

Illustrated Book/Graphic Novel/Zine  The Princess in Black series, by Shannon Hale, Dean Hale & LeUyen Pham  Purge Worlds, by Chris Black and Josh Oman  Super, by Joshua Todd Crowther

VisuAL Arts & CrAfts

Fashion Design

 Simone Gordon, Hoodlands & Co.  McQuiston Marié

 Nyssa Pack, Sapphire Coast Swim

 Steve Tippets, Ironclad Tattoo/Anchor Ink Tattoo

Photography Exhibition

 Laurel Caryn: History of Photography (Alice Gallery)  Willy Littig: Vecinos (Mestizo Gallery)

 Utah Travels (Utah Cultural Celebration Center)

Short Film

 B + A, directed by Connor Rickman

 Hammer Suite, directed by Lincoln Hoppe  Papá, directed by Danny Russon

Jewelry Design  Tiffany Blue, Peach Treats  Zell Lee, Asana Natural Arts  Nick Burke & Magen Mitchell, Obake Style

#BOUArts Deadline: Monday, August 29, 2016, midnight.

Best Local Instagram [write-in] __________________________________ What Did We Miss/Outside These Categories [write-in] __________________________________

RECOGNIZING THE FINEST IN

SALT LAKE’S ARTS COMMUNITY COMING SEPTEMBER 15, 2016

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Public Art/Graffiti Art [write-in] __________________________________

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Nominees in selected categories were chosen

by City Weekly arts & entertainment staff and freelance contributors. Write-in nominees may be submitted in all categories, including those for which nominees are provided.

 CJ Fishburn, Cathedral Tattoo

Touring/Non-Local Exhibition  The British Passion for Landscape: Masterpieces from National Museum Wales (Utah Museum of Fine Art)  Treasures of British Art 1400-2000:  The Berger Collection (BYU Museum of Art)  Jennet Thomas: The Unspeakable Freedom Device (Utah Museum of Contemporary Art)

Mixed Media/Sculpture/Interactive Exhibition  David Brothers: Rolithica (Utah Museum of Contemporary Art)  Scott Filipiak (Mod a Go Go, January 2016)  Jim Jacobs, Josh Winegar & Paul Crow: Raw and Cooked (Rio Gallery)

Tattoo Artist

 Sarah de Azevedo, Oni Tattoo

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Painting Exhibition  Firelei Baez:Patterns of Resistance (Utah Museum of Contemporary Art)  Hadley Rampton, Maung Maung Tinn & Nyan Soe: On the Border (Art Access Gallery)  Kevin Red Star (Modern West Fine Art)

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V

Comedy Improv Troupe

 Shawn Fisher, Streetlight Woodpecker [SLAC]

 Elaine Jarvik, Based on a True Story [Plan-B Theatre Company]

L

Stand-up Comedian  Abi Harrison  Christian Pieper  Alex Velluto

PHOTOGRAPHERS WANTED Cara Koolmees’ “Ice Cream on the Beach” is among the seasonally appropriate works featured in the exhibit Summertime at Utah Artist Hands Gallery (163 E. 300 South, 801-355-0206, UtaHands.com) through Sept. 10.

PHOTO

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T! O B O R Y N I H S BI G News from the geeks. what’s new in comics, games, movies and beyond.

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PERFORMANCE THEATER

An Ideal Husband Little Theatre of Clearfield City’s Community Arts Center, 140 Center St., Clearfield, through Aug. 8, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7 p.m., NextStageProductions.org Arsenic and Old Lace Caine Lyric Theatre, 28 West Center St., Logan, 435-797-8022, through Aug. 5, varying days, 7:30 p.m., CCA.USU.edu Baskerville: A Sherlock Holmes Mystery Caine Lyric Theatre, 28 West Center St., Logan, 435797-8022, through Aug. 6, varying days and times, CCA.USU.edu Bye Bye Birdie American Fork Amphitheatre, 851 E. 700 North, American Fork, 801-319-0928, Aug. 5-13, Monday & Wednesday-Saturday, TimpanogosArts.org Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley, through Aug. 6, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., SmithsTix.com Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, Aug. 5-Oct. 1, Monday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Sat, 12:30 p.m., 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., HCT.org EYT: Li’l Abner Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-347-7373, July 29-Aug. 20, varying days and times, EmpressTheatre.com Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Old Barn Community Theater, 3605 Bigler Road, Fielding, 435-458-2276, through Aug. 13, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Aug. 6, 2:30 p.m., OldBarn.org The Music Man Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, through Aug. 13, Mondays & Fridays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays, 2 & 7:30 p.m., TheZiegfeldTheater.com Neil Simon Festival Heritage Center Theatre, 105 N. 100 East, Cedar City, 435-267-0194, through Aug. 8, various days and times, SimonFest.org Oliver! Covey Center for the Arts, 425 W. Center St., Provo, 801-404-0736, through Aug. 8, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Aug. 6, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., AlpineCommunityTheater.org Perfect Pitch Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State,

Murray, 801-266-2600, through Aug. 20, varying days and times, Monday-Friday, DesertStar.biz Peter Pan Hale Center Theatre Orem, 225 W. 400 North, 801-226-8600, through Aug. 6, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 P.M., Saturday matinee 3 p.m., HaleTheatre.org Rodger & Hammerstein’s South Pacific SCERA Shell Outdoor Theatre, 745 S. State St., Orem, 801-255-2787, through Aug. 13, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m., SCERA.org Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Aug. 28, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 & 6 p.m., SaltLakeActingCompany.org Singin’ in the Rain Caine Lyric Theatre, 28 W. Center St., Logan, through Aug. 6, varying days and times, CCA.USU.edu The Three Musketeers Adventure Valley, 1811 W. 900 North, Lehi, through Aug. 8, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7 p.m., CobbCoTP.Wix.com Transmorfers: Mormon Meets the Eye The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Aug. 5-Sept. 10, Monday, Friday & Saturday; no performance Aug. 8; 7:30 p.m., TheOBT.org Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre Ellen Eccles Theatre, 43 S. Main St., Logan, 801-3552787, through Aug. 6, varying shows and times, ArtSaltLake.org Utah Shakespeare Festival Randall L. Jones Theatre, 351 W. Center St., Cedar City, 435-5867878, through Sept. 11, varying days and times, Bard.org The Witness People Productions, Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, Aug. 4-14, Thursday-Saturday 7:30 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m., PeopleProductions.org (see p. 21) You Can’t Take It With You Caine Lyric Theatre, 28 W. Center St., Logan, through Aug 5, varying days and times, CCA.USU.edu

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Beethoven Festival Concert Park City Community Church, 4501 N. Highway 224, Park City, Aug. 4, 7:30 p.m.; Temple Har Shalom, 3700 N. Brookside Court, Park City, Aug. 7, 3 p.m., PCMusicFestival.com Chamber Music in the Park Park City City Park Bandstand, 13th St. & Sullivan Road, Park City,

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moreESSENTIALS Aug. 8, 6 p.m., PCMusicFestival.com Jelena Cingara Ed Kenley Amphitheater, 403 N. Wasatch Drive, Layton, 801-546-8575, Aug. 7, 7 p.m., DavisArts.org Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture Deer Valley Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Park City, 801-355-2787, Aug. 5, 7:30 p.m., ArtSaltLake.org (see p. 21)

COMEDY & IMPROV

Asperger’s Are Us Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, Aug. 8, 7 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Dustin Hagen Presents Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, Aug. 6, 8:30 p.m., SandyStation.com Improv Comedy Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, every Saturday, 9:30 p.m., OgdenComedyLoft.com Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., LaughingStock.us Off the Wall Comedy Improv Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-572-4144, every Saturday, 10:30 p.m., DraperTheatre.org Quick Wits Improv Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-8240523, through July 30, every Saturday, 10 p.m., QWComedy.com Ron Placone Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, Aug. 4, 8:30 p.m., SandyStation.com Sarah Colonna Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, Aug. 5-6, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Steve Soelberg Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., 801-622-5588, Aug. 5-6, 8 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Debbie Macomber: Sweet Tomorrows Viridian Event Center, 8030 S. 1825 West, West Jordan, 801-948-7858, Aug. 4, 7 p.m., ViridianCenter.org Wendy Terrien: The Rampart Guards The

King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801484-9100, Aug. 4, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Will Everett: We’ll Live Tomorrow Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Aug. 5, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Alison McLennan: Ophelia’s War Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Aug. 6, 2-4 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Colonel Raymond E. Brim: Pathfinder Pioneer: The Memoir of a Lead Bomber Pilot in World War II The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Aug. 6, 2 p.m.4 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Shawna Tenney: Brunhilda’s Backwards Day The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Aug. 6, 11 a.m., KingsEnglish.com Kim Karras: Accidentally Me The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, Aug. 9, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Jonathan Bailey: Rock Art: A Vision of a Vanishing Cultural Landscape The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, Aug. 10, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Park City Farmers Market The Canyons Resort, 1951 Canyons Resort Drive, Park City, Wednesdays, noon-6 p.m., through Oct. 26, ParkCityFarmersMarket.com Park Silly Sunday Market 600 Main St., Park City, Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., through Sept. 18, ParkSillySundayMarket.com Sugar House Farmers Market Fairmont Park, 1040 E. Sugarmont Ave., Salt Lake City, through Oct. 26, Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m., SugarHouseFarmersMarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 300 S. 300 West, Salt Lake City, through Oct. 22, Saturdays, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., SLCFarmersMarket.org

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Blue Moon Arts Festival Holladay City Hall Park, 4580 S. 2300 East, Holladay, 801-272-9450, Aug. 6, 3 p.m.-10 p.m. CityofHolladay.com (see p. 21)

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

Ogden Pride Festival 2016 Ogden City Amphitheater, 343 25th St., Ogden, 801-9174588, Saturday, Aug. 6, 2 p.m.-8 p.m., free, OgdenPride.org Great Salt Lake Fringe Festival various venues, Sugar House, August 3-7, 11 a.m.-12 a.m., $7-$10, GreatSaltLakeFringe.org

TALKS & LECTURES

Bree from Disney XD’s Lab Rats Elite Force Outlets at Traverse Mountain, 3700 N. Cabelas Blvd., Lehi, Aug. 6, 3-5:30 p.m., OutletsAtTraverseMountain.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Architecture of Place Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, 801-236-7555, through Sept. 9, VisualArts.utah.gov A Beautiful Wall CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385215-6768, through Sept. 9, CUArtCenter.org Colleen Ann Wooten: HeArt to Recover Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801594-8611, through Aug. 12, SLCPL.org Colour Maisch and Gary Vlasic: Albedo Nigredo Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801596-5000, through Aug. 5, SaltLakeArts.org Composition of Elements: New Paintings by Chris Hayman Julie Nester Gallery, 1280 Iron Horse Drive, Park City, 435-649-7855, through Aug. 30, JulieNesterGallery.com Cori Redstone: The Women’s Association of Lecherous Treachery Charley Hafen Gallery, 1409 S. 900 East, 801-521-7711, through Aug. 12, CharleyHafen.com David Sharp: Primitive Spirit Salt Lake City Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-5948623, through Aug. 25, SLCPL.org DemoGraphics Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, through Sept. 2, Heritage.Utah.gov Elmer Presslee: Unprovoked Collaborations God Hates Robots, 314 W. Broadway, Ste. 250, through Aug. 12, GodHatesRobots.com Intermountain Society of Artists Red Butte Garden, 300 S. Wakara Way, 801-585-0556,

through Aug. 14, 9 a.m.-9 p.m., $7-$12, children under 3 free, RedButteGarden.org Jim Williams: 265 I...Home As Self-Portrait Utah Musuem of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 24, UtahMOCA.org Jennifer Seely: Supporting Elements Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 24, UtahMOCA.org John Berry: Duality Modern West Fine Art Gallery, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through Aug. 13, ModernWestFineArt.com Jorge Arellano: Alza la Voz con el Puño en Alto Mestizo Institute of Culture and Arts, 631 W. North Temple, 801-361-5662, through Aug. 12, Facebook.com/MestizoArts Love Letters: A Gallery of Type Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-585-6168, through Sept. 30, Lib.Utah.edu Magical Thinking CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, through Sept. 9, CUArtCenter.org Nomenclatures: Group Ceramic Exhibit Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, 801-328-0703, through Aug. 12, AccessArt.org Sibylle Szaggars Redford: Summer Rainfall Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-649-8882, Aug. 5-Sept. 25, KimballArtCenter.org Steve Dayton: The Cayucos Project Corinne and Jack Sweet Branch, 455 F St. (9th Ave.), 801-594-8651, through Aug. 20, SLCPL.org Susan Makov A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801583-4800, Aug. 5-Sept. 3, AGalleryOnline.com Summertime Utah Artist Hands Gallery, 163 E. 300 South, 801-355-0206, through Sept. 10, UtaHands.com (see p. 24) Tom Horton: 214222367: A Photographer’s Passport Sprague Branch, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through Sept. 10, SLCPL.lib.ut.us What is Home? Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, 801-581-6577, through Aug. 11, Utah.edu Where Is My Mind? Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-230-0820, through Aug. 14, UrbanArtsGallery.org The World Around Us Evolutionary Healthcare, 461 E. 200 South, through Aug. 7, MondayFriday, EvolutionaryHealthcare.com

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DINE JOHN TAYLOR

RESTAURANT REVIEW

Holy Gao

Finding Chinese magic at Chef Gao.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

I

normally consider it to be a plus when I don’t see General Tso’s chicken or sweetand-sour pork on a Chinese restaurant menu. It means that I might just be in the vicinity of Chinese cuisine that’s a bit more authentic and complex than the Americanized versions dominating the dining scene— especially in a place like Utah, which is rampant with cream cheese-filled wontons.

The menu at Chef Gao, in that respect, is enticing. Sure, there’s the obligatory kung pao chicken ($9.95), beef with broccoli ($11.95), ham-fried rice ($7.95) and other popular staples. But there are also items that don’t make the cut in many local restaurants, such as eggplant with onion and jalapeño ($10.95), fish with black bean sauce ($10.95), cumin-flavored lamb with onion, scallion, cilantro and chili peppers ($13.95), pork intestines in brown sauce ($6.95) and dried shrimp with Napa cabbage ($5.95). In fact, the very first item on the dinner menu is said to be one of chairman Mao Zedong’s favorite dishes: a mélange of braised pork belly with bamboo shoots, dried red chilies and a sweet, salty brown sauce called “Mao’s-style braised pork” ($12.95).

I wasn’t even aware that the restaurant existed until I happened to pass it recently during a run for a Moochie’s cheesesteak in Midvale. As it turns out, there are three Chef Gao eateries: one in downtown Salt Lake City, the Midvale restaurant, and a

new outpost in Orem. Apparently Sweet Ginger (the restaurant’s former name) had been open for years in Midvale, with a mediocre reputation at best. New management took over the operation in 2012, then opened a Salt Lake City location in 2014. I can’t speak for the SLC or Orem spots, but I’ve grown quite fond of the Midvale restaurant. One thing is certain: You won’t go home hungry or broke. Portions are gargantuan, and prices are very reasonable.

I can never resist dumplings or potstickers; they’re one of my favorite vices. At Chef Gao, an order of dumplings—either panfried or boiled—are a mere $5.95 for 10. They tasted and looked housemade: soft, plump (we ordered ours boiled) and stuffed with minced pork (or beef) and a choice of Napa cabbage, chives, preserved veggies or celery in a wonton wrapper. Our pork and cabbage dumplings were delicious, served with a special bottle of soy-based dumpling sauce.

Traditional spring rolls (two for $2.95) are another great starter, or you might want to share a bowl of the generously portioned egg drop or hot-and-sour soup ($5.95).

I always feel it’s a good sign in a Chinese restaurant when the vast majority of customers are Asian, as was the case here. I try to peek at customers’ tables to see what everyone’s eating. During my visit, I saw a couple share a huge pot of food on a tabletop burner. It turned out to be one of the restaurant’s clay pot specialties; you can get a seafood assortment ($14.95), fried tofu and seafood ($12.95) or cuts of beef such as tendon ($12.95) in a clay pot. The beef comes to the table uncooked, and guests dip the beef pieces into a pot full of hot broth, cooking them right at their table. I’d estimate that they could serve six to eight people.

One of the best menu items is called simply “spicy boiled fish” ($12.95). There was a bit of confusion when I asked a server what type of fish was used. We eventually determined that it was sole. Plan on sharing this

Chef Gao’s kung pao chicken item with a few people because it’s a very large bowl of oh-so tender and juicy boneless sole fillets bathed in an incendiary red broth with shredded Napa cabbage, green onions, garlic and other veggies. Two of us could barely put a dent into the spicy fish, so we took it home and enjoyed for days to come. Fair warning, though: This dish is super spicy. Thankfully, big bowls of steamed white rice come gratis with most orders; you’ll need it to tone down the heat of some of the authentically spicy fare.

Somewhat oddly, there are empty wine bottles on display in the front of the restaurant, yet no wine is available—just beer.

A Tsingtao beer, however, was the perfect accompaniment to my favorite dish: shredded pork with Beijing sauce ($11.95).

Normally, Beijing sauce is a fairly common blend of oyster sauce, rice wine, sweet bean sauce, ketchup, sesame oil, corn starch and egg. At Chef Gao, shredded pork—a mountain of it—is somehow infused with the flavor of Beijing sauce, but the dish isn’t the slightest bit saucy. It’s dry, but very flavorful. The serving was so big that I literally had leftovers for lunch three days in a row.

Stir-fried, thinly sliced beef with flat, wide rice noodles, bean sprouts, shredded cabbage and onions ($8.95) was bursting with flavor, and I loved the texture of the noodles, but the dish was a bit on the oily side. Next time, I’ll try the noodle soup with pork and mustard greens ($6.95) instead.

By the way, for you late-night types, the Midvale location has a cash-only “late night” menu available after 9 p.m. with 60 different items priced at $5.49 apiece.

That’s a hard bargain to beat. CW

CHEF GAO SWEET GINGER

Multiple locations ChefGao.com

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FOOD MATTERS

BY TED SCHEFFLER

Take A Bite

@critic1

Don’t Chai for Me

Described to me as “a London style café in Utah” by owner Lavanya Mahate, her new venture Biscotts Pastry & Chai (1098 W. South Jordan Parkway, Ste. 110, 801-890-0659, Biscotts.com) recently opened with a ribbon-cutting ceremony.

Following on the success of her Saffron Valley eateries, Biscotts pays tribute to the London cafés that combine English and Indian traditions of chai with pastry. The pastry menu features loaf cakes, biscuits, cookies, croissants, rolls, puffs, muffins, macarons, breads and more, while breakfast and lunch menus offer items like poached eggs with saucy beans, toasties, paninis, wraps, soups, sandwiches and such. Beverages include fresh juices, smoothies, coffees, organic hot teas and chai flavors—ranging from caramel rooibos and Dutch chocolate to apple-spice, vanilla and detox green.

Sanich Draper Bound

One of my favorite Utah chefs is Jeffrey Sanich, who has done tours in the kitchens at Sundance Resort, Summit Powder Mountain and, most recently, North Fork Table & Tavern. His newest culinary role is as chef and partners with Roy and Jennifer Olsen at Draper’s Bake 360 (725 E. 12300 South, 801-571-1500, OlsensBake360.com), where Sanich is scheduled to launch dinner service on August 12, showcasing dishes such as tea-smoked duck, local charcuterie and cheeses, heirloom carrot risotto and Mediterranean lamb meatballs. Bake 360 was established in 2012 as a retail bakery specializing in baked goods from around the world. Sanich says, “I first became aware of Bake 360 a couple of years ago when I luckily stumbled across a beautiful almond croissant the likes of which I had not seen outside of Europe or Manhattan. I was blown away.” Regarding his new role, he adds, “I’m fired up to give it my best.”

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Deer Valley Resort is welcoming new chef Hector Armendariz at the resort’s brickoven restaurant, The Brass Tag (2900 Deer Valley Drive East, 435-615-2410, DeerValley.com/Dining). I’ve enjoyed Armendariz’ talents while dining at the Grand America (where he was chef de cuisine), at Snowbird’s Aerie restaurant and at Montage’s Apex. I look forward to his cooking at The Brass Tag, as well.

Quote of the week: “I can’t cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.”

—Carol Siskind Food Matters 411: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

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Magnificent Moët

A visit to the Champagne house of Moët & Chandon.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

O

ne of the highlights of my recent visit to France’s Champagne region was spending the better part of a day at the glamorous house of Moët & Chandon, also known simply as Moët. The day began with selfies of the missus and me with the statue of Dom Pérignon, which welcomes visitors to the cellars, and ended with a tasting of various vintages hosted by the house sommelier. Days like that don’t suck.

Located in Épernay, Moët is France’s largest sparkling-wine producer, first established by wine trader Claude Moët in 1743 as Moët et Cie (Moët & Co.). His grandson, Jean-Rémy, transformed the company into Moët & Chandon toward the end of the 18th century and introduced the world to Champagne, helping to create global

appeal for French bubbly that thrives to this day.

You learn a lot about Champagne in general—and this winery in particular—when you spend the day with Moët’s superviseur visites, Marie-Filomène Martins. For example, the tradition of Grand Prix and Formula 1 race drivers spraying Champagne to celebrate a victory dates back to the celebrations of the winners of the 24-hour Le Mans race in 1967. That’s when driver Dan Gurney was handed the Jeroboam of Moët, and used the bottle like a firehose to spray the nearby guests and fellow drivers.

Today, the man considered by many to be the greatest tennis player of all time, Roger Federer, is Moët’s brand ambassador—a class act if ever there was one. And such was her love of Moët & Chandon that the Marquise de Pompadour, mistress of King Louis XIV of France, declared, “Champagne is the only wine in the world that makes every woman beautiful.”

Visiting these cellars is simply breathtaking. Spanning some 17.5 miles and situated 30-100 feet below ground, the labyrinthine subterranean cellar tunnels take visitors past new and non-vintage Champagnes, as well as vintage offerings, including the much-heralded Dom Pérignon. I won’t go into all the minutiae of Champagne-making here, since I’ve done so previously, but suffice it to say that over the past 270-plus years of bottling bubbly,

Statue of Dom Pérignon outside Moët & Chandon headquarters on Avenue de Champagne. this winery has it nailed.

The best-seller and most well-known in Moët’s lineup is Moët Impérial Brut ($49.99), a unique style of non-vintage created in 1869. The house’s flagship Champagne owes its name to Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, and some historians say that the art of sabering open bottles with a sword is also credited to Napoleon—his way of celebrating victories. Impérial’s classic blend of pinot noir, pinot meunier and chardonnay is the signature house style—a wine that is both elegant and subtle, while simultaneously offering sumptuous white-fruit flavors of pear, apple and peach.

For some fun fizz on a hot summer day,

TED SCHEFFLER

DRINK

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

give Moët Ice Impérial ($59.99) a try. It’s designed to be served over ice, with bright flavors of tropical fruits, stone fruits and hints of raspberry and ginger. As regular readers of this column probably know, I’m a big fan of rosés, both still and sparkling.

During our visit, we got a sneak peek (or sip) of Moët & Chandon Grand Vintage Rosé 2008 ($69.99), which has just been released. Its delicate bouquet is followed by succulent strawberry notes on the palate—a spectacular vintage that you could drink now or cellar for a special occasion.

More affordable, but also enticing, is Moët & Chandon Rosé Imperial ($55), a gorgeous and versatile wine that pairs well with foods from sushi to paella. Santé! CW

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

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Lamb’s Grill

Originally opened by Greek immigrant George Lamb in 1939, Lamb’s is one of Salt Lake City’s most durable and endearing downtown institutions, and is still dishing up the same comforting grub that it has for decades (fresh rainbow trout, for example, or baby-beef liver and onions). The poached Nova Scotia Finnan haddie is a mainstay, as is the corned beef hash at breakfast.

And nowadays, there’s even a respectable wine, beer and liquor selection. 169 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-364-7166, LambsGrill.com

Pallet

This restaurant feels like an escape from the city, even though it’s right in the middle of it. The décor is gorgeous and inviting, with reclaimed wood floors and soft, golden lighting. If you like a bustling dining atmosphere, you’ll enjoy the communal tables.

The food is eclectic and creative, and must-try dishes include housemade gnocchi with sage, Parmesan and sweet hints of amaretto; truffles fries (with actual truffles); blackened salmon on a bed of spinach with pomegranate dressing, and pepper-crusted New York steak. 237 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-935-4431, EatPallet.com

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The name has been a mainstay of the Salt Lake City dining scene since the original opened in 1952 at the top of Parley’s Way. Today, Finn Jr. and his wife, Vickey, carry on the family tradition at Finn’s Cafe, where Scandinavian specialties provide an interesting alternative to the more common array of standard morning choices. Some popular items are the Norwegian waffles with lingon berries and sour cream, Jule Kake French toast and the Norsk omelet with bay shrimp, havarti and capers. 1624 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-467-4000, FinnsCafe.net

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

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Padeli’s gyro Padeli’s Street Greek

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Brothers Leo, Frank and Chris Paulos named their newest venture after their father, and while the Paulos family founded Utah’s Greek Souvlaki restaurants, Padeli’s is more upscale. To build your own meal, first pick your “base”—a warm pita gyro, “street” mini-gyros, a bowl (with lemon rice and garbanzo beans) or a wrap—then choose a filling from traditional lamb and beef gyro meat, chicken rotisserie, falafel or pork rotisserie. Afterward, pick a sauce from choices that include traditional tzatziki, spicy feta, creamy Sriracha, hummus, creamy mustard or roasted pepper tzatziki. Finally, bring it all together by choosing three toppings, providing a lot of room for customization. I’d happily eat everything I’ve tried at Padeli’s again. The classic gyro is a slam-dunk with roasted pepper tzatziki, and the chicken is great with creamy mustard sauce. The falafel is especially memorable thanks to its moist interior and superb flavor (the secret is blending feta cheese in with the falafel mixture). While you’re there, be sure to treat yourself to one of the homemade brownies—they’re killer.

Reviewed March 3. 30 E. 300 South, 801-322-1111, PadelisStreetGreek.com

Delicious Food, Great Atmosphere!

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34 | AUGUST 4, 2016

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FILM REVIEW

CINEMA

Villain the Blanks

DC tries too hard to play movie universe catch-up with Suicide Squad.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

A

Focus (2015) Will Smith Margot Robbie Rated R

Batman v.

Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) Ben Affleck Henry Cavill Rated PG-13

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 35

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Chris Pratt Zoe Saldana Rated PG-13

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End of Watch (2012) Jake Gyllenhaal Michael Peña Rated R

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require some kind of “origin” informa(Clockwise from left) Margot Robbie, Adewale tion, to a greater or lesser degree, along Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Joel Kinnaman, Will Smith, Jai with the stories of the team’s military leader, Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), and Courtney and Karen Fukuhara in Suicide Squad.

Flag’s personal bodyguard with a souleating sword, Katana (Karen Fukuhaunhinged as the scene-stealing Harley ra). We learn about Deadshot’s relationship Quinn, and it’s great to see Will Smith back with his daughter, Harley Quinn’s transition in charismatic, quip-slinging mode; the from Joker’s psychiatrist to his willing thrall, less said about Leto’s Joker, whose brand Diablo’s haunted past, and Flag’s connection of “look at me, I’m mercurial” nuttiness to the ancient, powerful Enchantress (Cara gets blessedly little screen time, the better.

Delevigne) who will become the team’s first But the individual character arcs mostly opponent. That makes for one cumbersome, become a jumble, leaving the primary stuffed-to-the-gills narrative, so uncertain question—just as it was in the first Avengers about all the information it’s trying to convey movie—as “will this disparate group pull that Ayer actually uses two different back-to- together when the chips are down?” And back scenes for the purpose of introducing if they do, will we buy that it’s more than a the concept and characters. writer’s contrivance?

That kind of throat-clearing has been It’s not surprising—given Ayer’s backtypical of most 21st-century super-hero ground in police dramas (End of Watch, blockbusters, but Suicide Squad seems par- Sabotage) and war movies (Fury)—that the ticularly determined to do all the things that action here is almost entirely street-level worked in the Marvel films. There’s a need military, which does provide some unique to set up links with the other DC films, so we visual style. But most of Suicide Squad feels get a cameo appearance by Ben Affleck’s Bat- like something that’s been given almost no man and additional set-up for the upcoming room to breathe, as Warner Bros. races to Justice League film. Guardians of the Galaxy establish the DC cinematic universe. There got the kids humming along to classic-rock may be nominally more fun here than in the chestnuts, so Ayer cranks up a playlist that brutal Batman v Superman, but it still feels includes “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Super like the bigger battle in this movie is the Freak,” “Bohemian Rhapsody,” etc. etc. And one that’s taking place outside the frame, because a threat isn’t a threat unless it in- in corporate boardrooms. CW cludes potential apocalypse, the climactic battle must include a mission to destroy a Gi- SUICIDE SQUAD ant World-Ending Machine.

BB The distinctive personality of Suicide Squad is left almost entirely to its Will Smith characters, which becomes a hit-and- Margot Robbie miss proposition. Robbie is satisfyingly Joel Kinnaman

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t the Hollywood premiere for Suicide Squad, writer/director David Ayer took up the rallying cry suggested by a fan in the audience, and let loose with a hearty, “Fuck Marvel!” For the benefit of those not caught up in silly fandom turf wars, enthusiasts of the Big Two comic-book publishers—DC (which includes Suicide Squad) and Marvel—have turned the movies based on their respective costumed characters into the latest battlefield in a grueling campaign over who rules and who sucks.

The success of these movies—both financial and critical—matters insanely to these people as a kind of “scoreboard” taunt; and for the last several years, that scoreboard has belonged rather decisively to Marvel.

While Ayer later apologized for getting caught up in the moment with his profane outburst, the notion that DC is playing catch-up is real. The Marvel cinematic universe launched by Iron Man in 2008 has become a powerhouse; this year’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice marked DC’s first real attempt at building a similar interconnected film franchise. Suicide Squad continues that effort in a manner that suggests imitation is the sincerest—and possibly most desperate—form of flattery.

The premise is a nifty spin on the concept of anti-heroes, building a team of incarcerated “meta-humans” who have to be threatened, blackmailed and cajoled by a shadowy government operative (Viola Davis) into forming a team of disposable villain/heroes for particularly dangerous missions. They include Deadshot (Will Smith), an assassin who never misses; Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), the mentally unstable girlfriend of Joker (Jared Leto); the mutated, sewerdwelling Killer Croc (Adewale AkinnuoyeAgbaje); and flame-throwing ex-gangbanger El Diablo (Jay Hernandez).

Every one of those characters will then

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EAT THAT QUESTION: FRANK ZAPPA IN HIS OWN WORDS BBB.5 In a film of mostly chronological Frank Zappa performance footage and archival interviews, we see Zappa eat his journalistic interviewers’ lunch—sometimes aggressively, sometimes dismissively, but never with anything but honesty based on the conviction that he was the smartest man in the room. Nor did he duck questions; as he nears his 1993 cancer death, Zappa directly, unemotionally admits having more bad days than good, and not working as hard as he had. This is a portrait of the artist as, in Rossellini’s formulation about Charlie Chaplin, a free man— absolutely free, a Zappa fan might say. He literally gave no fornications, which is why his persona—and this film—wear so well.

Within 90 minutes, director Thorsten Schutte does a decent job both of representing the various phases of Zappa’s career (though he was too prolific and eclectic to cover satisfactorily) and of sampling related topics: Zappa’s politics (apart from censorship from both political sides, he was an uninterested aesthete), drugs (agin’ ‘em), and all the Problematics. “Tinsel Town Rebellion” could not be released today, and one knows Zappa would have made it anyway. He was a free man. Opens Aug. 5 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Victor Morton

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THE INNOCENTS BBB.5 Anne Fontaine tells a knotty story about the brutality of war that digs into complex matters of faith and morality. In 1945 Poland, just after the end of World War II, French Red Cross doctor Mathilde (Lou de Laâge) comes to assist at a convent where several of the nuns and novitiates have become pregnant after they were raped by Russian soldiers. The strongest moments are anchored in the interaction between Mathilde, an atheist Communist, and Sister Maria (Agata Buzek), a nun with a more worldly past than many of her peers, as they respectively attempt to comprehend both the atrocities that led to these pregnancies, and the response of the convent’s abbess. In fact, the main hitch in Fontaine’s story may be that Sister Maria could have made a more compelling central protagonist in her crisis of faith, with less of a stacked deck in favor of Mathilde’s secular perspective. But the simple, taut direction finds both the tension and the serenity in the story’s setting, and in the narrative’s commitment to finding sense in horrific events—and entirely from a female point of view.

Opens Aug. 5 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw

SUICIDE SQUAD BB See review p. 35. Opens Aug. 5 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN At Brewvies, Aug. 8, 10 p.m. (PG-13) LEGEND At Tower Theater, Aug. 5-6 , 11 p.m. & Aug. 7 , noon (R) SHALL WE DANCE? At Main Library Plaza, Aug. 10, 2 p.m.. (PG-13)

CURRENT RELEASES ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS: THE MOVIE BBB Did PR agent Edina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders) mean to push fashion icon Kate Moss off a balcony and into the Thames to her apparent death? Sweetie! We who know Eddie well—from the 1990s BBC sitcom about her outrageous misadventures alongside her best friend, fashion editor Patsy (Joanna Lumley)— know better. Un-mellowed by time, the besties now take their pursuit of an endless Champagne-fueled good time to the south of France while on the lam. No knowledge of the show is required: Stand-alone send-ups of the emptiness of one-upwomanship and reflexive hedonism zing, and the celebrity cameos hit justright notes of clued-in ridiculousness. Best of all, it’s a triumph to see two older women—Saunders is 58, Lumley 70—being really funny onscreen, in all sorts of ways, from sly character satire to literal falling-down slapstick. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson BAD MOMS BB.5 Writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (The Hangover, 21 & Over) have certainly found their drunkenly misbehaving raunch-comedy niche. In this one, average mom Amy (Mila Kunis) gets fed up with an impossible standard of perfection and cuts loose with her new friends Carla (Kathryn Hahn), a promiscuous and irresponsible single mother, and Kiki (Kristen Bell), a modest stay-athome wife. The film is hilarious when those three are together, harmoniously representing three distinct types (or stereotypes) of modern moms; it’s less successful when addressing Amy’s

personal life (her deadbeat husband; the new guy she likes). The story is careless about details—you wonder if Lucas and Moore have any experience with parenting, jobs or relationships—and wrapped up with lazy tidiness. But it’s worth it for MVP Hahn, a devastating comedy force whose powers Hollywood is just beginning to comprehend. (R)—Eric D. Snider CAFÉ SOCIETY BB.5 Woody Allen’s movies are psycho-analyzed for autobiographical subtext as much as they’re actually watched. His latest is set in 1930s Hollywood, where recently-arrived Bobby (Jesse Eisenberg) finds work with his high-powered agent uncle (Steve Carell) and falls for his uncle’s secretary, Vonnie (Kristen Stewart). Romantic roundelays ensue—with strong performances by Stewart and Eisenberg, the latter of whom avoids obvious Woody-surrogate tics—alternating with life among the members of Bobby’s New York-based Jewish family. But while Allen’s own voice as narrator evokes the nostalgia of Radio Days, there’s a more acidic bite in this story’s look at what people lose of their souls while pursuing what appears superficially to be a successful life. It’s too uneven to be fully satisfying, but you don’t have to call it a mea culpa to find at least a little wisdom.

(PG-13)—SR HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE BBB.5 Almost everything in Taika Waititi’s rambunctious comedy is built on formula, but when a formula is this well-executed, it’s hard to complain. In rural New Zealand, 13-year-old foster kid Ricky (Julian Dennison) is taken in by Bella (Rima Te Wiata) and her crusty husband Hec (Sam Neill). But when Bella dies, Ricky and Hec are left alone—and improbably become fugitives when Hec is suspected of foul play in Bella’s death. Neill and Dennison make for a terrific pair, riffing off the familiar premise of a surly adult reluctantly dragged into surrogate parenting. But it soars thanks to Waititi’s off-beat sense of humor, like turning a child welfare agent into a relentless pseudo-Javert repeating the mantra “no child left behind.” It may be utterly weightless, and its premise wears thin, but there’s always room for something that nails effervescent silliness. (PG-13)—SR JASON BOURNE BB.5 It’s been nine years since we last saw Matt Damon racing around the world and beating people up as brainwashed assassin Jason Bourne—and while the world has moved on from the initial confusion and upheaval of the years just after 9/11, this installment can’t keep up with how much darker and grimmer things have gotten. Pitting an off-the-grid Bourne against the CIA to find out more about how he became a killer, it waves vaguely at hot-button

more than just movies at brewvies

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36 | AUGUST 4, 2016

NINE LIVES [not yet reviewed] An uptight guy (Kevin Spacey) finds himself trapped in the body of his family’s pet cat. Opens Aug. 5 at theaters valleywide. (PG)

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STAR TREK BEYOND BB.5 As attested by the four Fast and the Furious movies he made before Star Trek Beyond, director Justin Lin was never a big fan of gravity. Here he can abuse it with impunity, and some of the most exhilarating moments in this amiable, low-stakes sequel involve upended spaceships and artificial atmospheres, people running up walls and sliding down corridors. It’s fun to feel the ground fall out from under you in those moments, especially since everything else about the movie is so steady and unsurprising, with a villainof-the-week ordinariness to it. That villain is Krall (Idris Elba), a warlord who attacks the Enterprise in search of (what else?) an ancient artifact with which to conquer the galaxy. Chris Pine and company are comfortable in their iconic roles, and the film (written by Simon Pegg and Doug Jung) glides merrily through its paces. But it has no more urgency than a mid-season episode of a Trek TV show, and even less character development. If Lin’s keen visual sense were paired with a weightier, meatier story, he’d really be able to soar. (PG-13)—EDS

oom r e t a t s e th th 8 t s u g au

NERVE BB A reserved high school senior (Emma Roberts) finds herself walking the Wild Side after signing on to a hot new app, where shadowy viewers goad participants into paid dares. As the challenges ramp up, she’s paired with another player (Dave Franco) with a mysterious knowledge of the game’s inner workings. There’s a germ of a good, nasty idea about modern voyeurism in this achingly trendy exploitation flick, which gives the first half of the movie some genuine juice. What ultimately sinks it, however, is that directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman (the Catfish guys) can’t settle on a consistent style, switching from faux Unfriended screengrabs to slow-motion party sequences to muted PG-13 Purge anarchy, resulting in a movie that becomes hilariously dated while you watch. If production had begun a few hours later, there’d be Pokémon in every frame. (PG-13)—Andrew Wright

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LIFE, ANIMATED BBB Roger Ross Williams’ profile of Owen Suskind—a 23-yearold Massachusetts man living with autism, making tentative first steps toward independent living—allows a person with a disability to be the star of his own story, rather than an opportunity for growth in someone else’s. The narrative hook involves the way Owen’s parents connected with him through his love of Disney animated features, and the film effectively conveys how archetypal stories served as a bridge for Owen understanding his own world. But while the flashbacks are necessary to lay the foundation, they’re also a distraction from the present-day reality of Owen learning to deal with adult realities that most of us take for granted. The lovely animated interludes may show how Owen saw himself as “protector of the sidekicks,” but here we see him as unique, fully human hero. (PG)—SR

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id: a m r e m e l the litt usical the m

issues like government cyber-surveillance and Assange-esque whistle-blowers, but without any bite. Everything looks great on paper—Damon’s brawny presence; smartly staged action; a cool supporting cast including Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander and Vincent Cassel—and it’s not un-fun. But it feels less black-ops than old hat. We’ve been here before, and this visit ultimately disappears in a wisp of inconsequence. (PG-13)—MAJ

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BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Stream Dream

TV

Twenty gone-but-great (some good-ish) TV series to stream right now.

Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 (Netflix; 26 episodes): Before she was Jessica Jones, and after she was a Breaking Bad casualty, Krysten Ritter was the funniest bitch ABC ever dared to cancel. Besides Elizabeth Hasselbeck, anyway.

Gravity (Hulu, 10 episodes) But, before she was the B, Ritter starred in this mopey-but-magnetic Starz dramedy about a suicide-survivors group that’s occasionally as dark-humored as Jessica Jones. Original title: Suicide for Dummies.

Penny Dreadful (Hulu, Netflix; 27 episodes): The justended Showtime steampunk soap opera that’s one part Victorian X-Files and 50 parts crazeepy (crazy + creepy), with Eva Green’s killer performance inducing all of the feels.

Better Off Ted (Netflix; 26 episodes): Ted Crisp (Jay Harrington) works for mega-corporation Veridian Dynamics, an obvious precursor to Mr. Robot’s Evil Corp., in yet another of ABC’s genius comedy cancellations.

Happyish (Hulu, Netflix; 10 episodes): Steve Coogan (stepping in for Phillip Seymour Hoffman) seethes hilariously as an advertising man in waaay more midlife turmoil than Don Draper ever drank through. A 2015 one-seasonwonder.

The Venture Bros. (Hulu; 26 of 75 episodes): Not just the best cartoon on Adult Swim, but the best—and most densely back-storied—animated series ever, with a richer character bench than the Marvel Cinematic Universe (yeah, I said it).

Birds of Prey (Amazon Prime; 13 episodes): In 2002, long before the DC Comics TV takeover, The WB gave us Batman’s daughter, Huntress, fighting crime and metahumans in Gotham. For DC completeists, mostly … or only.

Human Target (Amazon Prime; 25 episodes): And another DC Comics property: A 2010 Fox take a snarky bodyguard-for-hire (Mark Valley) action thriller. Also starring Jackie Earl Haley (Preacher) and Janet Montgomery (Salem).

The Good Guys (Netflix; 20 episodes): A criminally (ha!) overlooked 2010 Fox buddy-cop comedy starring Colin Hanks and an over-the-top-of-the-top Bradley Whitford as Dallas detectives. Not to be confused with the lesser The Other Guys.

The Riches (Amazon Prime, Netflix; 20 episodes): Killed off by the 2008 TV writers’ strike, The Riches, about a family of traveling grifters led by Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver, should have been an FX classic, not a footnote.

Invader Zim (Hulu; 27 episodes): Pint-sized alien Zim is dispatched to Earth to prep the planet for takeover, resulting in one of the smartest and funniest cartoons ever to somehow wind up on Nickelodeon. Seriously, how did that happen?

Nikita (Netflix; 73 episodes): Where La Femme Nikita was ponderously talky and (sigh) Canadian, The CW’s Nikita upped the action and intrigue, putting Maggie Q and Lyndsy Fonseca up front as serious (if 98-pound) ass-kickers.

Boss (Netflix; 18 episodes): Cutthroat Chicago mayor Tom Kane (Kelsey Grammer) keeps his degenerative dementia a secret and makes House of Cards’ Frank Underwood look like a pansy. Another Starz shoulda-been hit.

Lucky Louie (Amazon Prime; 13 episodes): Louis C.K.’s comedy experiment—a cheap ’70s-style sitcom with adult language and nudity—plays even better now than it did in 2006, removed from TV critics who don’t “get it.”

Huff (Crackle; 26 episodes): Hank Azaria starred as troubled psychiatrist Dr. Craig “Huff” Huffstodt in this overlooked 2004-2006 Showtime series, along with Paget Brewster and Oliver Platt. No, no one else has heard of it, either.

8 | AUGUST 4, 2016

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TRUE

M-Sat 8-7 • Sun 10-5 • 9275 S 1300 W 801-562-5496 • glovernursery.com

Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 (Netflix)

Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Hulu; 32 episodes): The professional misadventures of high-end London escort Belle (Billie Piper) are funny, sexy and even educational—and a lot more fun than The Girlfriend Experience.

Daria (Hulu; 66 episodes): Your old VH1 Classic channel has just been replaced with MTV Classic, a new ’90s rerun home for Beavis & Butt-Head and its superior spin-off, the masterfully deadpan Daria. Watch it on Hulu, instead.

Dead Like Me (Amazon Prime, Hulu; 29 episodes): The oft-forgotten link in creator/producer Bryan Fuller’s (Hannibal, Pushing Daisies) TV résumé, a Showtime dramedy about grim reapers living—and soul-collecting— among us.

Friday the 13th: The Series (Amazon Prime; 72 episodes): Late-’80s horror-cheese that had nothing to do with Jason, just possibly incestuous cousins (John D. LeMay and the gloriously big-haired Robey) and cursed antiques.

Sheena (Crackle; 35 episodes): Ex-Baywatcher Gena Lee Nolin played barely clothed “Queen of the Jungle” Sheena in this early-2000s jigglefest that might be the dumbest series ever syndicated. No, definitely the dumbest.

Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and BillFrost.tv.

ROCK CAMP

The Moppet Show

MUSIC 4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

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Salt Lake City’s first Rock ’n’ Roll Camp for Girls sets its amps to empower.

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

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Thursday 8/4

Campers Lyndi Wadsworth, Stella Schorer and Josie West

herban empire Live Music

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miner

w/ opal hIll drive i black bess & the butchers | whiskey bravo saturday 8/6

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8/28

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Beehive Social Club

666 S. State Saturday, Aug. 6, 12:30 p.m. $5 suggested donation 801-7923426 RockCampForGirlsSLC.com

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made “Hound Dog” a hit before Elvis Presley), Riot grrrl pioneer and Bikini Kill/Le Tigre/Julie Ruin singer Kathleen Hanna, and even Katy Perry, who Saunders says is notable for using her sexuality while also writing songs that are “deep and meaningful.” Additionally, the program includes a workshop by Mormon feminist Kate Kelly, and daily “Tiny Lunch Concerts” by local artists like Keys, Stephanie Mabey, Cathy Foy, Cat Ghost, Lost by Reason and The Aces, as well as Seattle punks Tacocat.

Saunders acknowledges that Salt Lake City has had plenty of youth-oriented music schools, including the aforementioned as well as the (now defunct) Rock ’n’ Roll Academy and SpyHop. The R&RCFG, however, is the first to focus on girls. Saunders says it’s nice, in a liberal town still heavily influenced by a conservative patriarchy, to teach 40 girls general feminist ideas. But it’s not an adversarial men-versus-women deal. Saunders wants to combat problems women have with each other, like being “catty or gossipy,” which can cause creative endeavors like bands to falter. And the camp welcomes male volunteers in non-administrative roles.

Ultimately, the camp aims to introduce ideas about equality, empowerment, growth, positivity, cooperation and community. “If we can start getting young girls to think like this, the sooner, the better—and the better for our planet,” Saunders says.

Nationally, the rock-camp-for-girls movement is already in full swing. Once R&RCFG wraps, they’ll be eligible for membership in a network of well over 100 likeminded rock camps, each abiding by the same general concept: fostering self-confidence, creativity and teamwork, while encouraging girls to recognize, understand and respond to discrimination. “We can empower young girls to not be scared to raise their hand in class,” says Saunders, “and to be the girl that walks around with a guitar at lunch, doing something that is just seen as normal [for boys, but not necessarily girls] … and recognize that it’s OK to make mistakes and be loud.”

You hear that, West? Go get ’em! CW

Reggae reggae legend pato banton

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nside the shell of what was once Ichabob’s, Ego’s and, most recently, Bar Deluxe, are three underage girls. Strangely, Lyndi Wadsworth, Stella Schorer and Josie West are unable to produce valid IDs, much less offer fake ones. Yet, they’re here—and two weeks from now, they’ll perform on its stage.

So how does it feel, having access to a bar 4-10 years before reaching legal age? The girls almost laugh at their interviewer’s ignorance. “It’s not a bar anymore,” they and some of the moms and Rock ’n’ Roll Camp for Girls counselors say, almost in unison. Once the renovations are complete, the portentously addressed 666 S. State, which has been a bar of some type since—a cursory survey of the moms and counselors says—1906, will reopen as the all-ages Beehive Social Club. It’s here where the girls will show what they’ve learned over the first five days of August, when they and dozens of others—from beginners to seasoned vets—perform new original songs at the camp’s grand finale.

Incidentally, just like at regular summer camp, they learn more than how to kill and field-dress a javelina with a spoon (what did you learn at camp?) or, more appropriate to the R&RCFG—how to rock. They learn about themselves: who they are as people, and as young women, and how to work together.

But right now, they’re focused on their first interview, which, from reading the girls’ expressions, is both daunting and exciting.

Guitar player Wadsworth, confident and tomboyish under her long dirty-blonde hair, is 17. She’s been playing for a year and likes “rock” music. What varietal? “Any subgenre of it.” Schorer, equally confident and shy, smiles from beneath her closely cropped hair.

She, as Electric Mayhem four-stringer Floyd Pepper says in The Muppet Movie, blows bass, and also plays acoustic guitar. She digs “all music. … I like jazz, I like folk, I like bluegrass, rock,” and loves singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile, revealing herself to be mature beyond her 12 years. West, 11, is the least experienced and most bashful of the bunch. She speaks softly, answering “keys” and “all music” but especially “reggae” when asked about her tastes.

Wadsworth and Schorer are off to a good start, having participated in other camps—MusicGarage and School of Rock, respectively. They formed their first bands there, and Wadsworth still gigs with hers, called Inside Job. Schorer gravitated toward solo performance, and plays a weekly open-mic night at the Millcreek coffeehouse, Greenhouse Effect. That takes guts for an adult, let alone a teenager. Respect.

Confidence, says musical director Secily Saunders, is part of the R&RCFG curriculum, which she designed. This is the first camp of its kind in Salt Lake City, but it’s Saunders’ fourth; she previously worked with camps in Portland and Los Angeles. In her experience, shy girls like West are “more the norm, less the anomaly.”

That’s why the camp teaches social skills alongside musical ones, Saunders says, “to help girls, in a short, very intense amount of time, learn about their gender, and how that is expressed through music, and how they can become better and stronger people.”

To that end, Saunders plans to use examples like country legend Wanda Jackson (who couldn’t book gigs because female acts were perceived as a poor draw), blues icon Big Mama Thornton (who

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Something for Everyone

MUSIC

DJ Sneeky Long mixes hip eclectica with cheap mainstream-ery.

BY ZAC SMITH comments@cityweekly.net

“I

t sounds pretty dirty, right?” jokes James Ramirez, the turntable maestro otherwise known as Sneeky Long. Chatting with Ramirez in front of the Tower Theatre, I ask how he chose his handle. “It’s a golf term; I saw it on a golf magazine at my dad’s house,” he says. “Also, I’m a really huge fan of the band Steely Dan, and I wanted a name that had that kind of ring to it.” Like Steely Dan, the name is a dick-joke meant to elicit tongue-in-cheek chuckles.

Ramirez DJs for weddings, clubs and bars—and himself, creating captivating live mixes in his living room. Music is his greatest passion, but he also has a great love for film (he’s worked at the Tower for 10 years), books (especially the works of Cormac McCarthy), graphic design and food.

“I’m definitely a foodie. My favorite dish to make is paella.” That’s a Spanish dish filled with near-everything; for those interested, he suggests a visit to local restaurant Del Mar al Lago for a good, authentic paella.

“But first and foremost [my interests] are music and collecting music.”

He says a birthday gift from his cousin Mike on Ramirez’ 8th birthday—It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back by Public Enemy—“changed my life.” Ramirez went on to cultivate large a cassette collection, then a CD library. Naturally, the DJ found his way to vinyl, compiling a vast archive encompassing hip-hop and punk records from RUN-D.M.C., the Beastie Boys, Bad Brains, Circle Jerks and Black Flag. His understanding of record sampling led him to branch out into collecting jazz, soul, reggae, funk and electronic records.

Straight out of high school, Ramirez got his first pair of turntables and started DJing. With a little help from a fake ID, Ramirez booked gigs at some 21-and-up clubs around Salt Lake City. After a few years, he obtained a valid ID and began his first residencies. “I really cut my teeth DJing at Kristauf’s and the Hookah Lounge,” he says. Both establishments, now defunct, gave him the experience he needed to pursue his passion full-time.

Originally a hip-hop DJ, Ramirez began to diversify his live sets, including more mainstream music, which led to his current residency at Twist. In addition, he proudly gestures to his shirt and mentions his affinity for the Caviar Club, which takes place at Bar X on Monday nights. “Caviar Club is a DJ collective of like-minded record collectors,” Ramirez says. “We all bring vinyl and play records; Chaseone2, DJ Finale Grand,

JOSH EDWARDS

FREE SHUTTLE TO ALL R S L HOME GAMES FROM SUE’S STATE LOCATION

DJ Sneeky Long

DJ Godina, DJ Feral Cat, Black Vinyl, Fisch Loops—there’s a lot of us.”

Ramirez is pragmatic about the digital vs. tangible divide: “You will be a wellrounded DJ if you are familiar with both.”

He often uses Serato DJ software for his sets, but returns to vinyl whenever possible—drawing from his eclectic (and often bizarre) collection, which spans soul, psych-rock, Tropicália, Afrobeat, Polish jazz, Nigerian rock, Italian library music and other genres. He likes to work hipper artists like Gal Costa, Arthur Verocai, Gil Scott-Heron, Madlib, Can, Thelonious Monk, Serge Gainsbourg and De La Soul into his sets as much as possible, slipping their deep cuts in between pop songs by Rihanna, Drake and Bieber.

Earlier this year, Ramirez won City Weekly’s Best of Utah Music for Best DJ, Open Format—an award that afforded him the opener spot for BADBADNOTGOOD and Diplo’s at Thursday’s Twilight Concert.

“It’s an honor,” Ramirez says, “and it will be really cool to play with those people.”

He plans a set that seamlessly combines his desires and the audience’s needs, while maintaining a sonic continuity with the other artists. “I hope that people will be pleasantly surprised by what I do.”

As a last word, Ramirez wants to encourage record collectors of all tastes and knowledge levels to shop local. “If you are gonna buy an album, please don’t buy it online if you can get it in Salt Lake. Without independent record stores, our city [wouldn’t be the same].” CW

SNEEKY LONG

w/ Diplo, BADBADNOTGOOD Twilight Concert Series Pioneer Park, 350 S. 300 West 801-596-5000 Thursday, Aug. 4, 7 p.m. $5 advance/$10 day of TwilightConcerts.com

From upstairs...

Utah’s Largest Irish Whiskey Selection

323 south main st whiskeystreet.com

Knappogue 12yr Knappogue 16yr Midleton Rare Irish Midleton Barry Crocket RedBreast 12yr RedBreast 12yr Cask Strength RedBreast 15yr RedBreast 21yr Teeling Small Batch Teeling Single Grain Teeling Single Malt Tullamore Dew Tullamore Dew 12yr Tullamore Dew Phoenix

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To downstairs...

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THURSDAY 8.4 Pato Banton

At 54, Pato Banton is reggae royalty, originally gaining notice for his work with The English Beat and UB40. Since then, his solo career has birthed numerous releases, including his Grammy-nominated 2000 set Life Is a Miracle. Born Patrick Murray, the Birmingham, England, native’s stage name derives from the sound made by a Jamaican night owl, but it also evokes the patois of the genre, and “Banton” is DJ slang for an ace lyricist. Managing to Stay Positive, as his 1996 album is called, while still acknowledging the social issues inherent in reggae music, Banton founded his own record label Gwarn International in 2011, releasing the compilation New Day Dawning. His work is more spiritual lately, as reflected in his 7-CD box set The Words of Christ. (Brian Staker) The Royal, 4760 S. 900 East, 9 p.m., $10, TheRoyalSLC.com IRIE BONUS! If you don’t scratch the reggae itch sufficiently tonight, roots legends Steel Pulse—also from Birmingham— plays the Depot on Tuesday, Aug. 9.

(Randy Harward) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $25 in advance, $30 day of show, DepotSLC.com

ANTOINETTE ROOTS DAWTAH HALL

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FRIDAY 8.5

Summerland Tour 2016: Everclear, Sugar Ray, Lit, Sponge

Everclear

PAUL BROWN

42 | AUGUST 4, 2016

RANDY HARWARD & BRIAN STAKER

I’m a sucker for nostalgia, with fond memories of some of these bands. But their new stuff? Wack. On their latest, Black Is the New Black (The End), Everclear’s porchgrunge sounds cloyingly processed. Sugar Ray … well, their punk/reggae/power pop sound was perfect summer music, even if they, with singer Mark McGrath, perpetrated one of the great crimes of rock history: an odious new vocal style, a nasal drone meant to sound mellow and sensitive, but that hits somewhere between try-hard and date-rapist—and inspired a legion of MySpace emo bands.

Another Orange County, Calif., band, Lit, owns some of the blame for this, and the shtick is alive on both bands’ current albums (2009’s Music for Cougars and 2012’s The View From the Bottom, respectively)—only it sounds sillier coming from middle-aged dudes. Sponge put an explosive, snotty Detroit spin on ‘90s alt-rock—and they once counted as members two-thirds of the gone-too-soon, shoulda-been-huge power pop trio, The Fags. You’d think they’d have held up best, but Stop the Bleeding (Three One Three, 2013) sounds like reconstituted Nickelback. Personally, past iterations of this ‘90s nostalgia tour had better lineups, with Marcy Playground and Spacehog—two reliably awesome bands that didn’t succumb to desperation.

Luckily, the Summerland class of 2016 has plenty of classic crowd-pleasers to play. (RH) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $27 in advance, $32 day of show, TheComplexSLC.com

Pato Banton Aaron Tippin

What’s August for, if not kickin’ back with your buddies and tippin’ a few frosted barley pops? Haaaaa! OK, gettin’ serious now. Did you know you have to stand for somethin’ or you’ll fall for anything? What if you stand for meaningless, jingoistic clichés? Well, Aaron Tippin, since he came bustin’ out of the Nashville songwriting pen like the proverbial hyperbolic bull on ‘roids, has more up his sleeve than his musical balms for ‘Murrica lovers.

He writes a great F-you song (see “Kiss This”) and has a way of making you appreciate what you got, so long as it came from a hard day’s work (“I Got It Honest”). Now those are sentiments I can get behind.

(RH), Deseret Peak Complex, 2930 W. Highway 112 (Tooele), 7:45 p.m., $10, DeseretPeakComplex.com

Aaron Tippin

U.S. NAVY SCOTT A. THORNBLOOM

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SATURDAY 8.6 Two Sets with Los Lobos

Los Lobos—”The Wolves”—have survived more than 40 years with their signature blend of rock, blues, funk, Tex-Mex, cowpunk and traditional Mexican music, and they continue to kick nalgas and take nombres. The band is known for marathon sets that change nightly and leave you wanting “más y más y más,” as the song goes (“Más y Más” from Colossal Head, 1996, Warner). On Saturday, they’re doing two sets, which is great news for the band’s many Utah fans. You see, they’re averaging only nine songs a night on the Wheels of Soul tour with the Tedeschi Trucks Band and the North Mississippi Allstars— which happens the day after at Red Butte Garden. Nothing against the other acts, but that’s not nearly enough Lobos for me. Even if Wheels wasn’t sold out, this is the better show.

Unless you’re lucky and rich and can do both. (RH) The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., $65, TheStateRoomSLC.com

DANIEL NOBLE

MICHAEL WINETROB

ALEX MORGAN

LIVE

Summer Slaughter Tour: Cannibal Corpse, Nile, After the Burial, Suffocation, Carnifex, Revocation, Krisiun, Slaughter to Prevail, Ingested

Do you ever wonder if the day will come when even death/grind/extreme/black metal bands will start selling out? You know, when songs like “Hammer Smashed Face” by Cannibal Corpse will be licensed for use in commercials plugging over-the-counter headache medicine? Stranger things have happened (see veggie Violent Femmes letting Wendy’s use “Blister in the Sun”). In fact, I just tried to stream Nile’s Annihilation of the Wicked (Relapse, 2005) on YouTube and had to sit through a Subway ad first. Now I’m all hungry for a “Spawn of Uamenti” footlong with extra “User-MaatRe” sauce. Song idea, guys: “Om Nom Nom.” (RH) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 2 p.m., $28 in advance, $33 day of show, TheComplexSLC.com

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WEDNESDAY 8.10 BulletBoys

There’s only one original BulletBoy in the band today, but Marq Torien was the voice and one of the songwriters behind the Los Angeles glam metal band’s towering swagger. Now he’s even playing guitar (like he did in an early version of genre heavyweights Ratt) and showing off his pipes, which aren’t nearly as rusty as those of his peers from the ‘80s Sunset Strip scene. In fact, a YouTube clip from a year ago finds Torien crushing it on “Smooth Up in Ya,” the band’s most recognizable hit. The track was also used in the 2010 comedy Hot Tub Time Machine, which shows that it, like Torien, has staying power. (RH) Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 8 p.m., $12 in advance, $15 day of show, LiquidJoes.net

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Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

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AUGUST 4, 2016 | 45

SHOTS OF SUMMER

BY JOSH SCHEUERMAN @scheuerman7

nd 2232 S. Highla / facebook.com ague le thefoodtruck

LIVE Music WEDnesday, August 3 7TH ANNIVERSARY PIG ROAST ALL DAY RAFFLE & PRIZES!

thursday, august 4

COLUMBIA JONES

Kait & Josh Gifford Marco Reynaga

friday, august 5

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PHOENIX RISING saturday, august 6

DJ LATU

Weeknights monday

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OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Fun for the whole family

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT Alan & Johnny Sheffer

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Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Great food

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Every Monday night at Sugarmont

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Food Truck League Sugarmont Plaza Dr., 5-9pm

MONDAY - FRIDAY $

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Jos Mendoza, Madison Mansfield

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AUGUST 4, 2016 | 47

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48 | AUGUST 4, 2016

TODD ATTENBERRY

Holladay’s Premier Martini & Wine Bar

Live Music Friday & Saturday 6pm - 9pm

DJ’s Friday & Saturday 9pm - Close

Full dining menu available from Cafe Trio

Reservations for special events / private parties

6405 S 3000 E | 888.991.8147 | ELIXIRLOUNGESLC.COM

CONCERTS & CLUBS THURSDAY 8.4 LIVE MUSIC

Diplo + DJ Sneeky Long + BADBADNOTGOOD (Pioneer Park) see p. 40 Joe McQueen Quartet (Garage on Beck) Joshy Soul & The Cool (Gallivan Center) Mokie (O.P. Rockwell) New Shack + Neu Yeuth + Tarot Death Card (Kilby Court) Pato Banton (The Royal) see p. 42 Rick Gerber (The Hog Wallow) YEYEY + Jazz Jaguars + Two Nations + Colin Cronin (Urban Lounge)

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WHERE SOPHISTICATED MEETS CASUAL

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Therapy Thursdays feat. Party Favor (Club Elevate)

KARAOKE

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20

BLACK SHEEP Bar & Grill

1520 W. 9000 S. WEST JORDAN 801.566.2561 | THEBLACKSHEEPBARANDGRILL.COM

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

FRIDAY 8.5 LIVE MUSIC

Aaron Tippin (Deseret Peak Complex) see p. 42 Barrie Rose + Dream Slut + Rabbit (Kilby Court) Dubwise + 6 Blocc + Strk-9 + MorzFeen + illoom (Urban Lounge) The Iguanas (The State Room) Khemmis + Towards Chaos (Metro Bar) Miner + Opal Hill Drive + Black Bess +

SUNDAY 8.7 Faun Fables

Faun Fables is the vehicle of singer/songwriter “Dawn the Faun” McCarthy and Nils Frykdahl. I first became aware of Frykdahl because of his work with the groups Idiot Flesh and Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, both of which blended an atmosphere of 19th-century traveling freakshow with Dadaist performance art and progrock level musicianship, all in service of the absurd to a degree that would have Frank Zappa nodding in approval. Their work in Faun Fables has been more squarely in the folk realm, and their newest full-length, Born of the Sun (Drag City) is melodic and dreamy, yet solidly grounded in the folk tradition of embracing the natural world. Locals Vincent Draper and Officer Jenny open. (Brian Staker) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $10, KilbyCourt.com

The Butchers + Whiskey Bravo (The Royal) Motherlode Canyon Band (O.P. Rockwell) The Motet (Sky Lounge) Summerland Tour feat. Sugar Ray + Everclear + Lit + Sponge (The Complex) see p. 42 Tour Wavy feat. Ras Kass + Planet Asia (Liquid Joe’s) “Weird Al” Yankovic (Red Butte Amphitheatre)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Chase One2 (Twist)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 8.6 LIVE MUSIC

Boys of Summer (In the Venue) Dennis Jones Band (O.P. Rockwell) Grizzly Goat + Jack Pines + Pipes + Spencer Russell (Velour Live Music Gallery) Hot House West + Joshy Soul & The Cool (Holladay City Hall Park) Los Lobos (The State Room) see p. 44 The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Queen Tribute Night feat. Rumble Gums + 90s Television + Westward + Totem and Taboo (Urban Lounge) Rock ’n’ Roll Camp for Girls Finale (Beehive Social Club) see p. 39

The festival that proves Utah LOVES beer! ld o s l a v i t fes t year! out lasckets in Buy ti ance adv

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27TH 2PM - 8PM*

Featuring

gaming area

gluten free cider area

pet adoption

live music over 150 beers

a benefit for

& much more!

at utah state fair park | 155 n. 1000 w. i slc TICKETS on sale now at utahbeerfestival.com Prices go up day of.

$5 dd

$20 GA

$30 early beer drinker

$55 vip (very limited)

admission only

5 tokens i taster mug

8 tokens i taster mug

vip lounge + beer and food pairings

SPONSORED BY:

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 49

UTAH BEER FESTIVAL TICKET IS VALID AS TRANSIT FARE FOR UTA (PRE-SALE ONLY)

almos

sold outt

| CITY WEEKLY |

limited quantity

limited quantity

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

local food vendors

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

*VIP & EARLY DRINKERS GET IN AT 1PM

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50 | AUGUST 4, 2016

CONCERTS & CLUBS Summer Slaughter Tour feat. Cannibal Corpse + After The Burial + Suffocation + Nile + Carnifex + Revocation + Krisiun + Slaughter to Prevail + Ingested (The Complex) see p. 44 Teeth + Wulf Blitzer + INVDRS + Turbo Chugg (Kilby Court) Well Hung Heart + American Coast + Money for Water (Muse Music)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Jason Lowe (The Royal) DJ Kyle Flesch (Sky Lounge) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

KARAOKE

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

SUNDAY 8.7

MONDAY 8.8

TUESDAY 8.9

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

Faun Fables + Vincent Draper + Officer Jenny (Kilby Court) see p. 48 Mike Posner (Deer Valley) Sevendust + Crobot + Red Tide Rising (The Complex) Tedeschi Trucks Band + Los Lobos + North Mississippi Allstars (Red Butte Amphitheatre)

KARAOKE

Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue State) Karaoke (The Tavernacle)

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

GO HOG WILD AT THE HOG WALLOW

Culture Club + Groves (Red Butte Amphitheatre) Walter Etc. + Blowout (Kilby Court) Ziggy Marley (The State Room)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Jazz, Blues and Rock ‘n’ Roll Jam (Twist) Monday Night Blues Jam (The Royal)

KARAOKE

Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Bingo Karaoke (The Tavernacle)

In an effort to be the best for brunch in SLC, Rye has decided to focus on the AM hours.

Going forward Rye will be open: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm.

What this means for you: even more house-made breakfast and brunch specials, snappier service-same fresh, locally-sourced fixins. Come on in. www.ryeslc.com

QUEEN TRIBUTE NIGHT AUG 10: ZOMBIE COCK ALBUM RELEASE BREAUX AUG 6:

8PM DOORS

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

AUG 11: 9 PM DOORS $5

AUG 12: 8PM DOORS

DARK LORD EXES

SURPRISE GUEST! BREAKERS

Galactic (Sky Lounge) Michael Franti & Spearhead (Red Butte Amphitheatre) Sianvar + My Iron Lung + Save Us From The Archon + Visitors (Kilby Court) Slipknot + Marilyn Manson + Of Mice & Men (Usana Amphitheatre) Steel Pulse (The Depot)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Open Mic (The Royal) Slipknot After Party feat. DJ Starscream + DJ Lethal (Sandy Station)

Murrays ##1 New Tavern 4883 S State St.

Local beers on Tap Wings, Burgers, BBQ & More T.V.s in every corner Free Pool Wednesday’s $2.50 Drafts on Thursday’s Karaoke Every Friday Night. *Plenty of Parking in the rear just south of the Desert Star Kicknitsportsgrill.com 801-448-6230 / to go orders welcome

CHOIR BOY

RUMBLE GUMS ALBUM RELEASE MOOD BEACH SOFT LIMBS DJ NIX BEAT

AUG 13: 8PM DOORS

A RELAXED GENTLEMAN’S CLUB

GOD’S REVOLVER TEMPLES

DA I LY L U N C H S P E C I A L S POOL, FOOSBALL & GAMES

RED BENNIES MANANERO SPONSORED BY DISTILLERY

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY 8.04 RICK GERBER 8.05 RED DOG REVIVAL 8.06 RICHARD CORY AND THE LOST PROJECT TOUR 8.08 OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

8.09 GIGI LOVE 8.11 KAPIX 8.12 YOU TOPPLE OVER 8.13 BROTHER CHUNKY

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

COMING SOON Kurt Vile SOLD OUT Ras Kass & Planet Asia Throwing Shade Daisy & The Moonshines Album Release Boris I Hear Sirens Samantha Crain The Bee Noer The Boy Urban Lounge 15 Year Anniversary Trash Bash

Car Seat Headrest Juliette Lewis Allah-Las, Swans Quiet Oaks Xenia Rubinos Band Of Skulls Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats Caveman Joseph Arthur Junior Boys YO Cass McCombs Crystal Castles

NO

COV ER E V ER!

2750 SOUTH 300 WEST · (801) 467- 4600 11: 3 0 -1A M M O N - S AT · 11: 3 0 A M -10 P M S U N

THURSDAY: Ogden’s Own feature & DJ ChaseOne2 FRIDAY: DJ ChaseOne2 SATURDAY: DJ Sneeky Long MONDAY: JAM! with Mark Chaney 7:00 TUESDAY: The art of ORIGINAL HOOLIGAN followed

by Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck!

WEDNESDAY: PIG-EON lights up the patio, then VJ Birdman on the big screen!

AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am-1:00am

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AUGUST 4, 2016 | 51

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52 | AUGUST 4, 2016

CORBY WALTERS

NO R VE CO ER! EV

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JOHNNYSONSECOND.com

WEDNESDAY/SUNDAY

HOME OF THE 4 shot & A beer

$

SATURDAY

AUGUST 5 @ 9PM

WEDNESDAYS

7PM-10PM $5 Cover LIVE JAZZ DINNER

Aug 3: The Dan Jonas Quintet SUNDAY&THURSDAY&SATURDAY

WASATCH POKER TOUR @ 8PM BONUS: SAT @ 2PM MONDAY

STARTS @ 9PM

FREE TO PLAY ENTER TO WIN CASH & PRIZES

$2,450 CASH POT!

Every SUNDAY 6-9PM LIVE JAZZ JAM

Young Lions Jazz Band

First SUNDAY

of the month June-Sept.

12PM-3PM No Cover LIVE JAZZ BRUNCH

August 7:

Young Lions Jazz Band

THURSDAY LIVE BAND KARAOKE W/ THIS IS YOUR BAND

YOU ARE THE SINGER OF THE BAND! NO COVER! 9:00PM - 12:00AM

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

KARAOKE STARTS @ 9PM FRIDAYS

DJ RUDE BOY BAD BOY BRIAN

I LOVE THE 80’S PARTY & CONTEST MALE & FEMALE BEST 80’S COSTUME EACH

WINS $100

FRIDAY & SATURDAY LIVE BAND

CHANNEL Z TUESDAY

FREE KARAOKE 8PM PRIVATE SPACE FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES & MEETINGS CALL OR STOP BY FOR A TOUR! MUST BE 21+ 150 W. 9065 S. • CLUB90SLC.COM• 801.566.3254 165 E 200 S SLC I 801.746.3334

Adlib and Friends

Philadelphia, Pa., emcee Adlib took his nom-de-rhyme from that most highly prized skill of the rapper, the ability to rhyme extemporaneously. His blunt (you might say) expressions of counter-culture issues are refreshing, including his cannabis advocacy.

He is probably best known for his HighWay LP and Teenagers from Marz EP (both on the Sensi Starr label). In a genre noted for collaborations, Adlib has toured or collaborated with the likes of Doodlebug of Digable Planets and Jedi Mind Tricks. The show includes gLife, a recent CMJ “Top Mover,” Big Tone and locals violinist Master Q, Clawson, The Hidden Sound and DJ Pookie. (BS) Club X, 445 S. 400 West, 8 p.m., $10, ClubXSLC.com

KARAOKE

Karaoke with DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue on State) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke (Keys on Main) Karaoke (The Tavernacle)

WEDNESDAY 8.10

GROOVE TUESDAYS

DISKO KLOWN CODY BINX AND FRIENDS

WEDNESDAY 8.10

OPEN EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK

LIVE MUSIC

Adlib + gLife + Master Q + Big Tone + Clawson + The Hidden Sound + DJ Pookie (Club X) see above Bad Feather (Deer Valley) The B-Side Players (The State Room) BulletBoys (Liquid Joe’s) see p. 44 Famous October + Quiet House + Emily Brown + Brother (Kilby Court) Forn + Yellow Eyes + Tempestarii (Metro Bar) King Lil G (The Complex) Mariana’s Trench + Skylar Stecker (The Complex) Zombiecock album release show + Dark Lord + Exes + Breaux (Urban Lounge)

Monday @ 8pm

breaking bingo

wednesdays @ 8pm

geeks who drink

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Open Mic (Muse Music) DJ Birdman (Twist) DJ Kurtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge)

KARAOKE

Areaoke (Area 51) Ultimate Karaoke (The Royal)

live music sunday afternoons &evenings

2021 s. windsor st. (west of 900 east)

801.484.6692 I slctaproom.com

Live Music Nightly! See website for details $4 Tacos Every Tuesday & Thursday Craft Cocktails, Beer & Food

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

POLARIS RAZOR STEREO PACKAGE PMX-2 STEREO AND FRONT SPEAKER KIT FOR SELECT POLARIS® RZR® MODELS.

99

699

$

10AM TO 7PM

FREE LAYAWAY

MONDAY– SATURDAY CLOSED SUNDAY

NO

CREDIT NEEDED

Se Habla Español

• OGDEN 2822 WALL AVE: 621-0086

Se Habla Español

90 OPTION

• OREM 1680 N. STATE: 226-6090

DAY PAYMENT

Se Habla Español

MODEL CLOSE-OUTS, DISCONTINUED ITEMS AND SOME SPECIALS ARE LIMITED TO STOCK ON HAND AND MAY INCLUDE DEMOS. PRICES GUARANTEED THRU 8/10/16

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 53

LABOR SOLD SEPARATELY

W W W. S O U N DWA R E H O U S E .C O M HOURS

| CITY WEEKLY |

NO DRILLING OR CUTTING REQUIRED DIRECT CONNECT WIRING HARNESSES FOR RZR MODELS STEREO KITS BOLT TO FACTORY ATTACHMENT POINTS SYSTEM IS ELEMENT READY TO WITHSTAND HARSH OUTDOOR ENVIRONMENT SPEAKER & SUB ENCLOSURES INTEGRATE WITHOUT LOSING PASSENGER/CARGO SPACE PMX-2: COMPACT DIGITAL MEDIA RECEIVER W/ 2.7” COLOR DISPLAY RFRZ-PMX2DK: INSTALLATION KIT FOR DASH RFRZ-FSE: RZR 6.5” FRONT SPEAKER ENCLOSURE (PAIR) RM1652B: 6.5” SPEAKER BLACK (PAIR) RFRZ-PMXWH1: RZR PMX POWER & SPEAKER HARNESS CONSUMER SAVINGS ON KIT PRICE $79.96 1 YEAR STANDARD WARRANTY

SLC 2763 S. STATE: 485-0070

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

www.goodgrammar.bar | 69 E. Gallivan Ave | 385-415-5002

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

54 | AUGUST 4, 2016

VENUE DIRECTORY

LIVE MUSIC & KARAOKE

A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, Trivia Tues., DJ Wed., Karaoke Thurs.

A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, Karaoke Tues.

ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, Live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-9900692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-5340819, Karaoke Wed., ‘80s Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. THE BAR IN SUGARHOUSE 2168 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-485-1232 BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BATTERS UP 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-4634996, Karaoke Tues., Live music Sat. THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-9618400, Live music Fri. & Sat. BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-1005, Local jazz jam Tues., Karaoke Thurs., Live music Sat., Funk & soul night Sun. BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-3941713, Live music CAROL’S COVE II 3424 S. State, SLC, 801-466-2683, Karaoke Thurs., DJs & Live music Fri. & Sat. THE CENTURY CLUB 315 24th St., Ogden, 801-781-5005, DJs, Live music CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801575-6400 CHEERS TO YOU MIDVALE 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871 CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-5315400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-6495044, Karaoke Thurs., Live music & DJs CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-5663254, Trivia Mon., Poker Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat., Live bluegrass Sun. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-364-3203, Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. CLUB X 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-9354267, DJs, Live music THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-528-9197, Live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, Free pool Wed. & Thurs., Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-2612337, Live music THE DEERHUNTER PUB 2000 N. 300 West, Spanish Fork, 801-798-8582, Live music Fri. & Sat. THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801-355-5522, Live music

DEVIL’S DAUGHTER 533 S. 500 West, SLC, 801-532-1610, Karaoke Wed., Live music Fri. & Sat. DO DROP INN 2971 N. Hill Field Road (400 West), Layton, 801-776-9697. Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134. Karaoke Wed.; Live music Tues., Thurs. & Fri; Live DJ Sat. DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435226-5340, Live music, DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 THE FALLOUT 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801953-6374, Live music FAT’S GRILL 2182 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-9467, Live music THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-250-1970, Karaoke Thurs.

FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, Trivia Tues., Live music Fri. & Sat. FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, Karaoke, Live music FUNK ’N DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, Live music, Karaoke THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-5213904, Live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801819-7565, Live music, DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, Live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, Live music Thurs.-Sat. HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-2682228, Poker Mon., Ladies night Tues., ’80s night Wed., Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, Karaoke THE HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, Live music THE HOTEL/CLUB ELEVATE 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-9665, Reggae Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat ICE HAUS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801266-1885 IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, Live music & DJs JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, Karaoke Tues., Wed. & Sun.; DJs Thurs.-Sat. JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tues. & Fri., Karaoke Wed., Live music Sat. KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-3633638, Karaoke Tues. & Wed., Dueling pianos Thurs.-Sat. KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, Live music, all ages KRISTAUF’S 16 W. Market St., SLC, 801943-1696, DJ Fri. & Sat. THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801-467-5637, Live music Tues.-Sat. THE LOADING DOCK 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, Live music, all ages LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801487-4418, Trivia Wed.

LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-938-3070 LUMPY’S HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON/THE COWBOY 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, Live music, DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 9 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-328-0304, Poker Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. METRO BAR 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801652-6543, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 THE OFFICE 122 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8838 O.P. ROCKWELL 268 Main, Park City, 435615-7000, Live music PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, Live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, Live music Thurs.-Sat., All ages THE PENALTY BOX 3 W. 4800 South, Murray, 801-590-9316, Karaoke Tues., Live Music, DJs PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-4681492, Poker Mon., Acoustic Tues., Trivia Wed., Bingo Thurs.

POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, Live music Thurs.-Sat. THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-363-6030, DJs Fri., Live jazz Sat. THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801590-9940, Live music SANDY STATION 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, DJs SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801604-0869 SKY 149 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-8838714, Live music THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, Live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800501-2885, Live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, Live music, All ages SUGARHOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 THE SUN TRAPP 102 S. 600 West, SLC, 385-235-6786 THE TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Dueling pianos Wed.-Sat., Karaoke Sun.-Tues.

TIN ANGEL CAFE 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, Live music THE URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, Live music TWIST 32Exchange Place, SLC 801-3223200, Live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801818-2263, Live music, All ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801531-2107, DJs Thurs.-Sat. THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, Live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760828-7351, Trivia Wed., Karaoke Fri.-Sun., Live music ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

CHECK OUT ALL OF OUR EVENT PHOTOS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET/PHOTOS

14TH ANNUAL ALOHA FESTIVAL 7.29

UPCOMING EVENTS

TWILIGHT CONCERT SERIES

FT. DIPLO

FIRE, WATER & ICE FESTIVAL

THURSDAY, AUGUST 4 SATURDAY, AUGUST 6

DOORS AT 5, MUSIC AT 7 STARTS AT NOON

AT PIONEER PARK

AT KEARNS OQUIRRH PARK FITNESS CENTER & UTAH OLYMPIC OVAL

The

Westerner

is looking for editorial interns for the fall 2016 term.

COUNTRY DANCE HALL, BAR & GRILL

WEDNESDAYS

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS

SATURDAYS

STEIN WEDNESDAY

THIRSTY THURSDAY

LADIES’ NIGHT

LIVE MUSIC 8.5 & 8.6

FREE LINE DANCE LESSONS 7PM- NO COVER

FREE COUPLES DANCE LESSONS 7PM- NO COVER

NO COVER FOR LADIES FREE LINE DANCING LESSONS 7PM

KALEB AUSTIN

ARRIVE EARLY! NO COVER BEFORE 8PM

FREE MECHANICAL BULL RIDES • FREE POOL • FREE KARAOKE • PATIO FIRE PITS

OPEN WED - SAT, 6PM - 2AM 3360 REDWOOD ROAD | 801.972.5447 | WESTERNERSLC.COM

ALL THE NEWS THAT WON’T FIT IN PRINT

Do you love media, want to be part of a thriving newsroom and have a desire to hone your writing chops? We’re on the hunt for hard workers to assist in the inputting of online events and writing of blurbs/articles for our award-winning weekly paper and daily website.

Requirements: • Be available 10-12 hours a week starting Wednesday, Aug. 24.

• An interest in pursuing journalism as a career is a must.

• As is a strong desire to add to City Weekly’s established, alternative voice.

• You think outside the box, know how to take direction and pay attention to detail.

• Ability to get along with others and keep your cool while working on deadline is nonnegotiable.

Please send résumé and no more than three published pieces to elimon@cityweekly.net by Tuesday, Aug. 16.

Long-long-long-read Interviews With Local Bands, Comedians, Artists, Podcasters, Fashionistas And Other Creators Of Cool Stuff

CITYWEEKLY.NET/UNDERGROUND

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 55

Those interested please contact Larry Carter: 801-575-7003

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City Weekly is looking for a Driver for the: West/South Jordan, Murray, and West Valley areas.

Drivers must use their own vehicle, be available Wed. & Thur.

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

© 2016

COBBLER

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

Last week’s answers

AUGUST 4, 2016 | 57

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

| CITY WEEKLY |

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

SUDOKU

1. Interject 2. ____ Jones Industrials 3. Vowel's value in Scrabble 4. "Wowie!"

5. Shortstop Jeter 6. "Alrighty" 7. Least outgoing

53. "I'm going to put ____ to this!"

54. Florist's supply 55. Source of eggs 57. Financial guru Suze 60. To date 61. Some records 65. "Now I see!"

66. Loud noise 67. 2015 Melissa McCarthy comedy

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DOWN

8. 43rd president's nickname 9. Fur trader John Jacob ____ 10. Escorted, as to the penthouse 12. Toothpaste option 14. Carol ending?

17. They're raised in some gardens 21. The way things are going 22. Surgical beams 23. "Groundhog Day" director Harold 24. Move on all fours 25. Response to "Are not!"

31. "Game of Thrones" network 33. Opposite of cruel 35. Olive ____ 37. Deceitful 38. ____-turvy 39. Actress Sarandon 41. [That is so funny] 42. Area of Manhattan where the Jeffersons were "movin' on up" 43. Arrive by plane 48. Singer Richie 49. Galápagos creature 51. Geographical place name alphabetically between Maine and Mauritania

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

1. "Without further ____ ..."

4. Altar exchange 8. Marx's "____ Kapital" 11. End of a doorbell sound 13. "ER" actor Phifer 15. "WWE Raw" airer 16. Hardly Mr. Cool 18. "Our father who ____ heaven ..."

19. "Incidentally," in a text 20. When the person in need arrived, the cobbler/Jesus Christ said "____" 23. Sony rival 26. Coffee Cakes maker 27. 50 or more people?

28. Sleeve filler 29. "Oh yeah? ____ who?"

30. Unspecified degrees 32. It has many functions 34. Prefix with liberal or conservative 36. Passenger safety items 40. To the person in need's astonishment, the cobbler/Jesus Christ then said "____" 44. Replay view, often 45. Kobe Bryant's team, on scoreboards 46. Doesn't gulp 47. "That's ____ ask" 50. Prefix with pathetic 52. Org. of concern to Edward Snowden 53. "____ calling!"

56. "You can't stop me!"

58. Ob-____ 59. And to the person in need's relief, the cobbler/ Jesus Christ said that he was prepared to "____" 62. Org. with a prohibited-items list 63. As a friend, in French 64. 2010 releases from Apple 68. Opposite of 'neath 69. End of the first decade in the Christian calendar 70. Tanker or cutter 71. "Gangnam Style" rapper 72. Narrow street 73. At all

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Art Scene

Art lovers have a unique opportunity to explore the great outdoors this month with Michael Nikola’s upcoming Nature: A Retrospective. Nikola, a lifelong Utahn, is excited to share his love of the outdoors through his art, which is on display at Salt Lake Community College South City Campus from Aug. 10-25.

The artist, who earned his associate degree with an emphasis on illustration from SLCC and a Bachelor of Fine Arts, cum laude, from Utah Valley University, has been interested in art for as long as he can remember. “At 5 or 6, I would doodle at church to keep myself entertained,” he says. “My whole life, I have been selling my art and doing commissions on the side of whatever day job I had at the time. Now I do it on the side of graphic design, which is a career I got into so I could be artistic in a day-to-day job setting.”

Nikola’s exhibit proposal was accepted in March 2016, but he says that, in a way, he’s been planning for it his whole life. He prides himself in finding beauty in everyday experiences, so his exhibit focuses on landscapes and sketches from his travels. “Since March, I’ve been drawing these 3-by-3-inch mini landscape sketches of all the places I’ve traveled to, and there are 60 of them that will be up at the show,” he says. “Ultimately, the show will be full of landscapes that I love, and I am looking forward to people seeing how I interpret nature through my painting and drawing.”

“Whether it’s painting, drawing, pushing pixels or vectoring, my goal is to make beautiful, clever, creative, simple and captivating designs,” he says. With a wide range of artistic abilities, it’s no wonder he has found a group of loyal fans in Salt Lake City.

community@cityweekly.net Nikola’s “Alaska,” oil on wood, 2012

Fellow artist Curtis Jensen loves Nikola’s process. “I feel like Mikey is in love with nature and, at times, he has no other way to express that passion other than oil paint,” he says. “Mikey is a happy person in general, but I’ve never seen an artist so euphoric while working. You can take Mikey out of nature, but he’s just going to sit in his studio and create his own wilderness.”

Local fan Lindsey Sine also is excited for the upcoming exhibit. “I’ve had the honor of being able to watch him draw and paint, and what impresses me the most about his approach and final work is the creativity and elegance he uses to capture nature’s beauty,” she says. “His interpretation of the outdoors is incredibly unique. … I’m excited for people to have the chance to see this amazing work.” n

Michael Nikola: Nature: A Retrospective August 10-25 Opening reception Aug. 12, 7-9 p.m.

Salt Lake Community College 1575 S. State MichaelNikola.net

“Moab Sunset,” oil on wood, 2016

58 | AUGUST 4, 2016

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PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

T BEA

Big Cottonwood Canyon, graphite on recycled Bristol paper, 2016

Poets Corner

The Mark

We missed the mark, on a tired evening When stars aligned, to steal our breath A mix of passion, and sunken feelings A cocktail of words, and quaint misgivings Leading our souls, toward their end Skipping blindly, on our merry Down the path, and round the bend Following on, our foolish errand To be at one, and peace again Can you feel it, moving forward?

Can we taste it, on the wind?

Rushing past, our strong position To open doors To shake the shutters And let us know, just where we stand

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Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) I apologize in advance for the seemingly excessive abundance of good news I’m about to report. If you find it hard to believe, I won’t hold your skepticism against you. But I do want you to know that every prediction is warranted by the astrological omens. Ready for the onslaught? 1. In the coming weeks, you could fall forever out of love with a wasteful obsession. 2. You might also start falling in love with a healthy obsession. 3. You can half-accidentally snag a blessing you have been half-afraid to want. 4. You could recall a catalytic truth whose absence has been causing you a problem ever since you forgot it. 5. You could reclaim the mojo that you squandered when you pushed yourself too hard a few months ago.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) August is Adopt-a-Taurus month. It’s for all of your tribe, not just the orphans and exiles and disowned rebels. Even if you have exemplary parents, the current astrological omens suggest that you require additional support and guidance from wise elders. So I urge you to be audacious in rounding up trustworthy guardians and benefactors.

Go in search of mentors and fairy godmothers. Ask for advice from heroes who are further along the path that you’d like to follow. You are ready to receive teachings and direction you weren’t receptive to before.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) When a parasite or other irritant slips inside an oyster’s shell, the mollusk’s immune system besieges the intruder with successive layers of calcium carbonate. Eventually, a pearl may form. I suspect that this is a useful metaphor for you to contemplate in the coming days as you deal with the salt in your wound or the splinter in your skin. Before you jump to any conclusions, though, let me clarify. This is not a case of the platitude, “Whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” Keep in mind that the pearl is a symbol of beauty and value, not strength.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You may experience a divine visitation as you clean a toilet in the coming weeks. You might get a glimpse of a solution to a nagging problem while you’re petting a donkey or paying your bills or waiting in a long line at the bank. Catch my drift, Capricorn?

I may or may not be speaking metaphorically here. You could meditate up a perfect storm as you devour a doughnut. While flying high over the earth in a dream, you might spy a treasure hidden in a pile of trash down below. If I were going to give your immediate future a mythic title, it might be “Finding the Sacred in the Midst of the Profane.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I’ve worked hard for many years to dismantle my prejudices.

To my credit, I have even managed to cultivate compassion for people I previously demonized, like evangelical Christians, drunken jocks, arrogant gurus and career politicians. But I must confess that there’s still one group toward which I’m bigoted: super-rich bankers. I wish I could extend to them at least a modicum of amiable impartiality. How about you, Aquarius?

Do you harbor any hidebound biases that shrink your ability to see life as it truly is? Have you so thoroughly rationalized certain narrow-minded perspectives and judgmental preconceptions that your mind is permanently closed? If so, now is a favorable time to dissolve the barriers and stretch your imagination way beyond its previous limits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Are you lingering at the crux of the crossroads, restless to move on but unsure of which direction will lead you to your sweet destiny? Are there too many theories swimming around in your brain, clogging up your intuition? Have you absorbed the opinions of so many “experts” that you’ve lost contact with your own core values? It’s time to change all that. You’re ready to quietly explode in a calm burst of practical lucidity. First steps: Tune out all the noise. Shed all the rationalizations. Purge all the worries.

Ask yourself, “What is the path with heart?”

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I hear you’re growing weary of wrestling with ghosts. Is that true? I hope so. The moment you give up the fruitless struggle, you’ll become eligible for a unique kind of freedom that you have not previously imagined. Here’s another rumor I’ve caught wind of: You’re getting bored with an old source of sadness that you’ve used to motivate yourself for a long time. I hope that’s true, too. As soon as you shed your allegiance to the sadness, you will awaken to a sparkling font of comfort you’ve been blind to. Here’s one more story I’ve picked up through the grapevine: You’re close to realizing that your attention to a mediocre treasure has diverted you from a more pleasurable treasure.

Hallelujah!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Did you honestly imagine that there would eventually come a future when you’d have your loved ones fully “trained”? Did you fantasize that sooner or later you could get them under control, purged of their imperfections and telepathically responsive to your every mood? If so, now is a good time to face the fact that those longings will never be fulfilled. You finally have the equanimity to accept your loved ones exactly as they are.

Uncoincidentally, this adjustment will make you smarter about how to stir up soulful joy in your intimate relationships.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You’re not doing a baby chick a favor by helping it hatch. For the sake of its well-being, the bird needs to peck its way out of the egg.

It’s got to exert all of its vigor and willpower in starting its new life.

That’s a good metaphor for you to meditate on. As you escape from your comfortable womb-jail and launch yourself toward inspiration, it’s best to rely as much as possible on your own instincts. Friendly people who would like to provide assistance may inadvertently cloud your access to your primal wisdom. Trust yourself deeply and wildly.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Your strength seems to make some people uncomfortable. I don’t want that to become a problem for you. Maybe you could get away with toning down your potency at other times, but not now. It would be sinful to act as if you’re not as competent and committed to excellence as you are. But having said that, I also urge you to monitor your behavior for excess pride. Some of the resistance you face when you express your true glory may be due to the shadows cast by your true glory. You could be tempted to believe that your honorable intentions excuse secretive manipulations. So please work on wielding your clout with maximum compassion and responsibility.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) It’s your lucky day! Spiritual counsel comparable to what you’re reading here usually sells for $99.95. But because you’re showing signs that you’re primed to outwit bad habits, I’m offering it at no cost. I want to encourage you! Below are my ideas for what you should focus on. (But keep in mind that I don’t expect you to achieve absolute perfection.) 1. Wean yourself from indulging in self-pity and romanticized pessimism. 2. Withdraw from connections with people who harbor negative images of you. 3.

Transcend low expectations wherever you see them in play. 4.

Don’t give your precious life energy to demoralizing ideas and sour opinions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Could it be true that the way out is the same as the way in? And that the so-called “wrong” answer is almost indistinguishable from the right answer? And that success, at least the kind of success that really matters, can only happen if you adopt an upside-down, inside-out perspective? In my opinion, the righteous answer to all these questions is “YESSS???!!!”—at least for now. I suspect that the most helpful approach will never be as simple or as hard as you might be inclined to believe.

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I’m a college graduate. I was awarded two degrees in three majors back when they gave out diplomas on sheepskins. OK, no, I’m not quite that old, but I do get that urge to buy three-ring binders and pencils this time of year. Don’t be too impressed, as my ADHD and OCD led me to take many classes and change majors many times. Then, when I couldn’t get a job in my chosen profession (no one would hire an out gay person back then), I went back to college and designed another degree for myself that worked.

Hell, Burning Man hasn’t even happened yet, but students are already being forced to end their summers to sit in lecture halls soon.

It seems far too early to me. Classes begin at the University of Utah, Dixie State, Southern Utah University and Utah Valley University on Monday, Aug. 22. Westminster College, Snow College and Salt Lake Community College follow with classes starting Aug. 24. BYU, Weber State and Utah State’s first day is Aug. 29. All schools in the Salt Lake City School District start Aug. 22.

So much for summer vacation. But be thankful if you’re a student because you could be going all year long without much time off, as most of us adults do. CNN reported last year that when our public education system started in the 1800s, school calendars were different depending on the needs of the local community. In big cities, schools were open practically year-round—like 240 days a year. Then again, if you lived in farmland, you’d never go to school during planting and harvest seasons.

As Utah became inhabited by white settlers, schools would pop up at church meeting houses during the weekdays.

These structures were often the largest and most accessible buildings in town. In 1851, the Office of Territorial Superintendent of Schools was created here to standardize curriculum. Really odd to me is that between 1867-1900, over 100 private elementary and secondary schools were established

by Utah Presbyterians and Methodists who didn’t want their kids educated along with Mormons. The Free Public School Act was passed by the Legislature in 1890 and despite outcries from some, the private school form of education dwindled and almost disappeared in favor of a public school system. We still have our private schools, though, from Challengers to Juan Diego, Rowland Hall and McGillis, Montessori and Madeleine Choir and on and on.

Remember to slow the F down in school zones—a $400 ticket is not what you want to budget for the remainder of your summer fun! n

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