City Weekly July 4, 2019 by Copperfield Publishing

JULY 4, 2019 | VOL. 36 N0. 06

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Inside one he inland port. fight to stop t N BY PETER HOLSLI

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COVER STORY

ANXIETY? DEPRESSION?

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Inside one grassroots group’s fight to “abort the port.”

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4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 11 NEWS 18 A&E 25 DINE 30 MUSIC 43 CINEMA 45 COMMUNITY

PARKER S. MORTENSEN

A&E, p. 20 Parker Scott Mortensen is a Salt Lake City-based nonbinary writer and producer, who this week makes their debut in our A&E and music sections. Their writing chases a curiosity about the lived intersections of art, labor, technology and gender.

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A salute to State Street’s patriotic displays. facebook.com/slcweekly

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

Cover story, June 20, “Life Levitated” UFOs? Got my interest. JEFF TERICH Via Twitter

Seriously? First ghosts and now aliens? When are people going to grow the hell up? DIANE ARMSTRONG Via Facebook Great article. I hope the UFO fest continues to grow! TOM BENNETT Via cityweekly.net Nice article, Peter Holslin! Thanks for showing up and sharing your experience at the Utah UFO Festival! Awesome information about it all. Cool to see a couple pictures with me in them. Keep up the good work. KCFISH Via cityweekly.net Peter, it’s so good! Please update me about the sandwiches and also, the cuyamaca guy. JULIA DIXON EVANS Via Twitter Thank you so much for spending the weekend with us and such a great article. I hope you can join us next year. Heinee Hinrichsen Via cityweekly.net

Hi, I know this isn’t the point of sharing this story, but I have to say I really like the digital layout of this piece. CANDICE ELEY Via Twitter

News, June 20, “Taking the Plunge: Inside the legal and moral struggle to legalize sex work”

It’s about time. Victims never deserved to be prosecuted when reporting crimes. COURTNIE RUSSELL Via Facebook The issue is not legalization; it’s helping people see the logic and reason behind it. Otherwise we’ll keep finding ourselves in this ridiculous battle between emotions and reason. @PHOBOSTECH Via Twitter

Online news post, June 19, “Triggered: Pro-life organization seeks to end elective abortions in the state”

If you love babies and mommas then you have to actually support them

after birth. How about affordable health care for a start? CHARITY O’HAODAGAIN Via Facebook Hmm. Are they supporting and using adoption agencies and foster care in their areas? Are they supporting singlepayer health care, and strengthening education and childcare options? This is a personal/public boundary that needs to be respected as to privacy, personal needs vs. judgemental invasions with high cruelty and little merit. MARIE LARSEN Via Facebook Ummm, know what has lifelong consequences? Having a baby. That’s what has literal physical, mental, and emotional lifelong consequences. But I’m guessing this woman would say that those are the consequences that a girl signs up for when she chooses to have sex. If you are really interested in reducing abortion rates, why on earth would you defund Planned Parenthood—an organization that helps countless girls and women avoid unplanned pregnancies … KATIE JEAN MASON GREY Via Facebook

Sad, misguided, tragic busybodies. What other women do is none of their business. MIKE SCMAUCH Via Facebook This issue is basically a single-issue-voter issue. It’s something Republicans use to get voters, and they’re probably fully aware and conscious of this tactic. BLAINE LAFRENIERE Via Facebook I invite them to leave Utah. KAREN CLAY COOLEY Via Facebook I don’t see them inviting an addict mama into their home with their kids supporting and paying for them. Just look at the homeless shelter. I’m sure there are a lot of babies needing saving. RAELYNN JOHNSON Via Facebook Like what consequences? Life imprisonment? What are these lifelong consequences and what of them? Who is anyone to determine what another person should do with her body or cause them to face consequences outside of the scope of their own personal ramifications. The mental emotional consequences are real. They should be

talked about. They should be set out as warnings. But making abortion illegal is not going to stop the choice that women would make. The situation above many others needs to be treated with sensitivity by the people involved— health professionals, social workers, families—not the government! HEATHER M. COLSON Via Facebook Yup, that’s a lot of #Karen haircuts. Thanks, #Karen. C. ROY PITCHER Via Facebook

Tommorowland

After reading your June 20 This Modern World cartoon by Tom (was over the hill yesterday and will be forgotten) Tomorrow, I had an epiphany.

Tomorrow claims that after a zombie virus attacks all Republicans and Trump loses, Republican zombies will “be willing to work together to get things done!” My rebuttal is as follows: Tom, there will be an epiphany by the Republicans, yes there will be. But that epiphany will be that Republicans will always remain hungry because Democrats don’t have any brains, lol. DAVID JANSEN, An Independant (sic) voter

STAFF Publisher COPPERFIELD PUBLISHING, INC Director of Operations PETE SALTAS

Contributors KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, KYLEE EHMANN, COLETTE A. FINNEY, GEOFF GRIFFIN, MARYANN JOHANSON, NICK McGREGOR, PARKER SCOTT MORTENSEN, DAVID RIEDEL, MIKE RIEDEL, MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR., ALEX SPRINGER, LEE ZIMMERMAN Production Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Graphic Artists SOFIA CIFUENTES, SEAN HAIR, CHELSEA NEIDER

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Salt Lake City Weekly is published every Thursday by Copperfield Publishing Inc. We are an independent publication dedicated to alternative news and news sources, that also serves as a comprehensive entertainment guide. Copies of Salt Lake City Weekly are available free of charge at more than 1,100 locations along the Wasatch Front. Limit one per reader. Additional copies of the paper can be purchased for $1 (Best of Utah and other special issues, $5) payable to Salt Lake City Weekly in advance. No person, without express permission of Copperfield Publishing Inc., can take more than one copy. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher. Third-class postage paid at Midvale, UT. Delivery might take up to one full week. All rights reserved.

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OPINION Trump’s Golf Caddy Tells All

As sabers rattle and bird-brained POTUS’ tweets echo around the globe, the “stable genius” in the White House has conceived a remarkably rational long-term plan. So, here it is, straight from his confidant-golf-caddy, Bruce Schtikelmeister: “As his golf caddie, I’ve been priv y to some of Trump’s deepest thoughts. Indeed, he has shared some remarkable off-the-record remarks. For instance, we were on the second hole tee box at the Trump National Golf Club, when he turned to me and said, ‘You know that little bimbo that works in the pro-shop? Pretty fucking sexy, huh? I nailed her in the clubhouse after hours last Easter, and, frankly, it was even better than the second coming.’ “I tried to suppress my shock, but my mouth was stuck wide open. ‘I can see you’re horrified,’ he added. ‘You should try her sometime yourself—best lay you’ll ever have.’ Then, as a sort of afterthought, he noted, ‘You know, a little strange ass is good for your marriage.’ “Besides his advice on spicing up my sex life, Trump has occasionally taken me into confidence on his strategic plans for our nation. Each time he does that, I feel more than a slight rush of fear. He’s tried to legitimize his sharing of state secrets by ordering the State Department to give me a top secret security clearance. He was turned down. Any way, just the other day, he turned to me as we

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR. headed out to the course. ‘Bruce,’ he said warmly, ‘I’d like to bounce an idea off of you. As my caddy, I have great respect for your opinions—not just about golf, but about international affairs as well. I trust your judgment, almost as much as I trust Jared’s.’ “I was gob-smacked; here I was, a mere caddy, and the President of the United States was, essentially, making me part of his family. ‘Sir,’ I beamed, ‘I’m overwhelmed by your confidence.’ Then his tiny little mouth opened into an almost perfect circle, and he started: ‘Bruce, I’ve given a lot of thought to the environment—particularly the threat of greenhouse gasses on our world—and I’ve come up with a brilliant solution. I guess you’ve seen the latest news on tankers in the Gulf of Oman being blown up? (You can’t say anything to anyone else, but those were my people who did it.)’ “My sense of privileged elation hit a wall, and a sick feeling enveloped me. I always knew the boss was a complete SOB, but this was the worst. ‘You, know, Bruce, we’re going to be attacking Iran and blowing it off the map.’ My nausea worsened. ‘That means in order to save face on my previous threats, it will have to be 100% annihilation.’ I gasped; I couldn’t believe what he was saying, but his serious look morphed into a devious smile. ‘That,’ he beamed, ‘is what I call my own Green New Deal. With 81 million less people on the planet,’ he paused as he pulled out his pocket calculator and punched its keys, ‘that will lower CO2 emissions— at 2.3 pounds per person per day—by over 32 million tons per year. Even my most vocal opponents will understand that I have done something truly great for the world.’ “As Trump’s caddy, I had a role to play. It didn’t matter how appalled I was; my job was to agree with everything

he said. I had advised him to use a nine iron on his 13th hole approach shot, but he insisted on his eight. As his conscientious advisor, I had a duty to make sure his erratic game came together, so I took a moment to reason with him. ‘President Trump, it’s only 80 yards to the hole, and we have a nasty tailwind.’ Almost apologetically, I added, ‘I’m just helping you to win this round.’ His orange face turned a bright red, and he barked like a rabid dog. ‘Don’t ever question my judgment,’ he yelled. Realizing that there were other people close by, he toned it down to a whisper. ‘It’s an eight-iron; you’ll see. Remember, I’m a lot smarter than you.’ “He leaned over, addressed the ball, did a perfect backswing, and did the shot. The ball was still exactly where it lay. ‘Oh, fuck,’ he blurted, ‘I’m going to have the pro-shop manager fired. He’s the one who re-gripped my clubs, and the new ones absolutely stink. They’re too damned slippery; that’s why I missed the ball.’ I did my conciliatory nod of reverent acknowledgment. Once more he addressed the ball and swung, overshooting the hole by a good 15 yards. ‘Damn it, Bruce, you picked the wrong club.’ “I almost whispered because I sensed it to be a mistake, ‘Sir, you didn’t take my advice.’ Once again his face turned beet red. ‘Any caddy worth his salt would have had me play the nine. You’re fired—but could you stay on at least for the rest of this round.’ I let his golf bag slip off my shoulder and dropped it at his feet. ‘With all due respect, sir, you can carry your own fucking bag from now on.’” CW

The author is a former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and one mongrel dog. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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CITIZEN REV LT IN ONE WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

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ISLAMOPHOBIA AND THE MAYORAL RACE

There is no lack of forums, debates and candidates for the Salt Lake City mayor’s race. The Emerald Mayoral Forum addresses a hidden issue in our community during this era of heightened fear and distrust. Six candidates participate in a round robin-style forum “to talk about issues within the Muslim community, systemic roots to Islamophobia and how we can make Salt Lake City feel like home to Muslims,” the event’s website says. Questions will come from the Muslim community and from the audience. SLCC South City Campus, 1575 S. State, Tuesday, July 9, 6-9 p.m., free, bi t.ly/2Yg84jf.

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You want to trust the police, but as more and more people fall to deadly officerinvolved shootings, what’s missing is understanding. How do we reduce the situations that lead to these incidents? Organizers of Officer Involved Shootings in Utah: A Panel Discussion note that in 2018, Utah had a record number of officer-involved critical incidents. Panelists include Lex Scott from Black Lives Matter, Chief Mike Brown from the Salt Lake City Police Department, Dave Newlin from Utah Against Police Brutality, and Josianne Petit from Mama and Papa Panthers. The panel is moderated by Anna Thomas, policy analyst for Voices for Utah Children. University of Utah College of Social Work, 395 S. 1500 East, Wednesday, July 10, 6-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2Yfp4G1.

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SOCIAL MOVEMENTS TOWN HALL

You’ve probably been involved in one. Over the past several years, social movements have burst on the scene in an effort to give voice to the unheard. These large, sometimes informal, groupings of individuals or organizations focus on specific political or social issues. Think about the Women’s March, March for Our Lives and even the white nationalist rallies. Social movements are meant to carry out, resist, or undo a social change. Join one another at the KRCL Marmalade Town Hall Series to talk about the benefits and dangers of this growing phenomenon. Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, Thursday, July 11, 7-9 p.m., free, bit.ly/2YhIavt.

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Kinda-Sorta Gary

Well, thanks Gov. Gary Herbert for kinda sorta supporting the push toward banning conversion therapy. In Utah, we grab every crumb like it’s a life-saving meal. But please don’t get us wrong. We are happy that you want the experts to look at the issue, but we’re perplexed that you maybe want to limit the therapy ban to physical distress. Let’s talk suicide. The spike in youth suicides is not due to kids being physically abused. It is due to something endemic to this state—peer pressure from the ruling theocracy and a general misunderstanding of biology. Herbert might want to take a page from the Salt Lake County Council, which unanimously passed a resolution urging the state to pass a conversion therapy ban. There’s just something a little creepy about how people in power want to control other people’s bodies—and their minds.

Malleable Gary

Meanwhile, this could be one of those “hits” too, if only because Herbert’s thinking is a bit malleable—or dare we say muddled—on the subject of gerrymandering. It’s interesting how fearful the GOP is of losing even a teeny bit of red power in Utah. You’ve already seen two Republican women challenge U.S. Rep. Ben McAdams, the lone Democrat in the federal delegation. Back to Proposition 4, the redistricting initiative: Herbert made note of that in his June news conference where he talked about “guidelines” for redistricting. The law doesn’t employ guidelines, unless, of course, the Legislature changes it. They meddled with two others—Medicaid expansion and medical marijuana. Senate President Stuart Adams, R-Layton, said, “We did our best.” They did a damned good job undermining the will of the voters.

Been-There Mike

Best Sunday read from the Deseret News: “How Hobby Lobby changed religious freedom.” Yes, the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court case was all about the Affordable Care Act and abortion. But what we learned was that it has “weaponized” the 1993 Religious Freedom Restoration Act as it is used “against less powerful Americans instead of an important protection for members of minority faiths.” Not unlike the Citizens United ruling, Hobby Lobby gives corporations brains, beliefs and rights. In February, Congress introduced the Do No Harm Act to prevent the use of RFRA to skirt compliance with federal civil rights, labor, child welfare and health care laws. Last year, our Sen. Mike Lee reintroduced the First Amendment Defense Act which the Human Rights Campaign said would legalize state-sanctioned discrimination. That’s pretty much what the Hobby Lobby decision has already done.

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NEWS

BUSINESS

Final Chapter Iconic downtown bookshop Eborn Books shutters. BY PETER HOLSLIN pholslin@cityweekly.net @peterholslin

PETER HOLSLIN

Above left: The inside of Eborn Books’ downtown location during its last week of business. Right: Cindy and Bret Eborn stand outside a mural along Salt Lake City’s Main Street.

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“When you’re in retail, the day before Christmas has a certain darkness at the end of the day. It gets kind of quiet in the afternoon, and the last people you meet are the desperate procrastinators,” he says. “You feel kind of sorry for them, because they’re the people who are shopping alone, and they only have an hour, and they still haven’t done something for this person in their life. You can feel their angst.” Today, business can be mixed for bookshop owners—though profit margins remain slim, many retailers find success by diversifying their merchandise and hosting local events. The American Booksellers Association recently announced that 99 new indie bookstores with ABA membership opened up in 2018, a 32% increase from the year before. “The news of our demise is greatly overrated,” Anne Holman, co-owner of The King’s English Bookshop, says. “There are bookstores closing, but there are lots of bookstores opening.” While the ink is dry for Eborn Books, their story has not yet reached a climactic ending. Bret Eborn says 2018 was his most successful business year yet. He’s still got so many books at the downtown shop that he plans to keep opening up every Saturday until the inventory’s all moved away to a warehouse in Tooele. As Eborn moves on and grows his homegrown chain’s online retail arm, he still emphasizes that nothing can quite replace the charm of the old-fashioned, brick-andmortar bookshop. “Even though a lot of people have gone to their electronic devices, there are those who just want the smell of the book, the feel of the book,” he says. “You can’t do online what you can do in here—come in and look around and discover things you didn’t know existed.” CW

“I’m sad to see the store go for Salt Lake, but it’s going to be nice he doesn’t have to do 6-13’s anymore,” Cindy adds, referring to her husband’s often grueling work schedule—13 hours a day, six days a week. Like all independent bookstores, the one at 245 S. Main has faced many challenges. A fire in the early ’70s compelled the elder Weller to buy an ownership stake in the David Keith Building. In the 1980s, retailers across downtown lost business to ZCMI Center Mall and Crossroads Plaza, dueling shopping centers located just up the street from Sam Weller’s, where City Creek Center now stands. The book retail business experienced a convulsive boom and bust in the 1990s, according to a 1999 report by Richard Howorth of the American Booksellers Association. Earlier that decade, sales from independently owned bookstores made up more than a third of book sales in the country. The number of books being published was on the rise, and publishing houses were reaping healthy profits. Then retail giants Barnes & Noble and Borders swept into prominence, leading to a glut of unsold books and an industry-wide slump. Amazon—touting itself as the “Earth’s Biggest Bookstore” when it launched in 1995—dealt a major blow to the big retail chains as it cornered the online book sales market. Borders went bankrupt in 2011 and last month, Barnes & Noble announced it was being sold to a hedge fund for $638 million after closing dozens of locations and enduring years of corporate turmoil. After facing declining sales and the loss of retail neighbors, the Wellers closed up their Main Street shop on Christmas Eve 2011—leaving some of the inventory behind for Eborn. Tony Weller thinks back to the fateful night with a “strange gumbo of emotions.”

of his youth hanging out with the lovable “freaks” who worked there, all while learning the ropes of the book business. He can’t imagine how he would’ve turned out, had he not been raised by booksellers. “To the degree that we read, we can actually select our influences from the greatest thinkers of history,” Weller explains. (His father died in 2009 at the age of 88.) “Here I am—Utah guy—yet because of a bookstore, I abandoned the Mormonism of my youth for Zen Buddhism, even though I did not have Japanese or Chinese parents. Nobody in my schools taught me about it. I found it in a bookstore.” Other Salt Lake bookstore owners say the history of this bookworm’s sanctuary could fill a leather-bound tome. “For me, it was nirvana,” Ken Sanders of Ken Sanders Rare Books muses. He was a regular at Sam Weller’s from the 1960s onward, and thinks back fondly to the day he helped the impassioned bookstore patron unload a semi-truck trailer’s worth of books published by the United States Geological Survey, carting in tens of thousands of scientific studies one hand-truck at a time. “I even had to build the shelves that they went on,” Sanders recalls. “To me, going into Weller’s, it was a magical experience. It was an endless amount of books. You could just find anything there.” When Eborn Books set up shop, it brought new generations of dedicated patrons with it. Bret Eborn says one customer met her future husband at Coffee Garden, the adjoining café. He later proposed to her amid the bookshelves. “There’s people who filmed small scenes for films and movies [in the shop]. Even a Hallmark movie did a scene in there,” Eborn recalls. “Whenever somebody says, ‘Can I film? Can I take pictures?’ we always say, ‘Go ahead.’”

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aturday, June 29, was ostensibly the last day of operations for Eborn Books’ flagship downtown Salt Lake City location. That morning, a truck hauled away 500 boxes of hardbacks and paperbacks from the 40,000-square-foot space, located on Main Street in the historic David Keith Building, where City Weekly also has its offices. While the sheer number of boxes sounds imposing, the place still managed to overflow with product on Saturday afternoon. Up until the last minute, owners Bret and Cindy Eborn were selling stock at half price. Dozens of customers were taking the plunge into a multi-level maze piled with books, books and more books—Western literary classics, rare Mormon texts, studies on Freemasonry, sci-fi pulps, Harlequin romances, anthologies of military history and oddball how-to guides with titles like How to Hide Anything and Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life. “It’s kind of like a big treasure hunt in here,” Bret Eborn says surrounded by literary stockpiles. Per his estimation, inventory on closing day included an approximate 1 million books. Eborn, who launched the eponymous outlet in 1989 and has been at the Main Street location since 2012, had to close up shop after receiving an eviction notice from the landlord, Holladay mayor Rob Dahle. Most of the building’s tenants (including the Weekly) have to move out because Dahle is planning a major renovation for the building. Loyal customers were instantly upset, but Eborn made his peace with the move. He still has locations in Provo, Ogden, Layton and even Nauvoo, Ill., while 70% of his business consists of online sales. “I feel like it’s Salt Lake’s loss. It’s a piece of downtown that’s not going to be here anymore,” he says. “But for me and my wife personally, we’re fine … we’re still going to sell books.” The locale has been a bookstore under different owners for nearly 60 years. Before the Eborns moved in, it was the home of Sam Weller’s Books—the namesake of World War II veteran and beloved downtown businessman Sam Weller. Later, the space was taken over by Weller’s son Tony, who alongside his wife, Catherine, now owns and operates Weller Book Works in Trolley Square. Tony Weller was born in 1962, a year after his dad moved into the downtown digs. The younger Weller says he spent untold hours

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BY PETER HOLSLIN | PHOLSLIN@CITYWEEKLY.NET | t was like a scene out of a Hitchcock end-of-the-world thriller. In a packed committee room in the Utah Capitol in early June, 25-year-old activist Ethan Petersen handcuffed himself to a door handle and bellowed warnings laden with doom as Utah Highway Patrol troopers struggled to haul him away to Salt Lake County Metro Jail.

Hitting Them In the Mouth

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The June protest at the Capitol was Civil Riot’s second attempt to throw a wrench into the gears of the Inland Port Authority. The group also shut down the board’s previous meeting in April, drowning out the proceedings with a megaphone and forcing board chair Derek Miller to adjourn the meeting less than 10 minutes after it began. The Inland Port Authority recently announced it has canceled its next two meetings. According to spokesperson Aimee Edwards, the decision has nothing to do with Civil Riot—the board wants to give time for Jack Hedge, the body’s new executive director, to get settled into his job. Civil Riot members scoff at this excuse, claiming the cancellations as a small but notable victory. “I think there’s some reason to be happy. We kind of hit ’em in the mouth,” Petersen says. “We shut down one of their meetings, we almost shut down another, and now they’re canceling two other meetings. They can act like, ‘This is on the schedule,’ but it’s not. They weren’t planning on doing it. They’ve had to switch up their game.”

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Civil Riot, a civil resistance collective that in a few short months has launched a spirited debate over the highly contested project. Since it was established last year, the Inland Port Authority has been the subject of backlash and controversy. Now, Civil Riot is upping the ante with civil disobedience tactics. Critics dismiss the activists’ efforts as counterproductive pandemonium. But Civil Rioters have also gotten the thumbs-up from influential inland port opponents—including Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski, who last week said she “absolutely” supports the protests. “People need to have a voice,” Biskupski told reporters at a news conference where she announced filing an amended complaint to her civil suit against the inland port, seeking a temporary injunction to shut it down while the case is litigated.

“At the end of the day, people on the board are not listening to this community. So, of course, there’s going to be protests—and there likely will be more,” Biskupski declared. In interviews with City Weekly, members of Civil Riot say they’re determined to vigorously disrupt the inland port, out of concern that the project will wreck the environment, worsen air quality and exacerbate economic disparities. Taking their cue from liberation thinkers like Angela Davis and movements like the “water protectors” of the Dakota Access Pipeline protests, Civil Riot activists say the public has been ignored and it’s time for stakeholders to listen. Organizers see what they’re doing as part of a wider effort to reverse environmental degradation and create better opportunities for marginalized communities. For them, it seems the battle over the inland port is just the beginning. “There’s so many different fronts to fight for people to have better lives,” Petersen says in an interview at a café on North Temple. “I think we want to bring an energy that’s very much direct action-oriented, so that people would start shutting stuff down and actually taking control of their communities again.”

“This project is environmentally destructive! It will exacerbate climate change! This is destruction of the planet—we’re not going to allow it anymore!” Petersen cried, interrupting a public meeting of the Utah Inland Port Authority, the state-appointed body in charge of overseeing development of a commercial hub in Salt Lake City’s Northwest Quadrant. Reporters snapped pictures and took video as troopers pushed dozens of activists chanting and holding banners out into the hallway. When a Deseret News reporter tried to step out to watch Petersen literally carried off to jail, an oil and gas lobbyist stood in her way, chiding her for giving the protesters media attention. The demonstration—staged in flagrant disregard of the “rules of decorum” that guide the state’s otherwise sleepy public hearings—was put on by

@PETERHOLSLIN

Inside one grassroots group’s fight to stop the inland port.

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We Predict Ri ot

—Mayor Jackie Biskupski

RAY HOWZE

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“At the end of the day, people on the board are not listening to this community. So, of course, there’s going to be protests—and there likely will be more.”

It seems their efforts have made an impression. Hedge, who previously worked as director of cargo and industrial real estate for the Port of Los Angeles, says in an email that meeting with community members is key to grasp peoples’ concerns and to clarify what this project is all about. “It’s important for people to know and understand what the Utah Inland Port Authority is and is not—with what it can and cannot do,” Hedge tells City Weekly in response to a list of questions sent seeking comment about the project. (Edwards declined multiple requests to make him available to speak over the phone or in person.) “It is important for me to meet with community members and understand [the] issues and concerns of the community to help us develop and craft the vision and mission of the Utah Inland Port.” State officials have been kicking around the idea of an inland port for decades. The plan, supporters of the project say, is to build a major hub for shipping and trade, leveraging Salt Lake’s centralized location in the Intermountain West and the city’s already robust network of shipping infrastructure, rail lines, airport access and road routes to make big gains on global business opportunities. They say a “hub-and-spoke” model recently introduced in an amended state bill also offers possibilities for rural areas in Utah, which can serve as satellite ports to the one planned for Salt Lake’s as-yetundeveloped Northwest Quadrant. “I think that there would be a lot of interest, a lot of economic activity, a lot of warehousing where people would want to access the port here—or ports here—in the state of Utah. And all of that lends itself to a stronger economy,” Greg Hughes says. The former Speaker of the House helped bring the Inland Port Authority to fruition and is now weighing a run for governor.

History repeating The idea for an inland port first emerged in 1974, when the Legislature passed a bill granting state and municipal officials the ability to establish a port authority to shore up shipping and trade in Utah. In 1987, Salt Lake County established a task force dedicated to the idea of a port authority. A Virginia consulting firm was hired to draw up a comprehensive report on potential economic benefits and laid out a plan for how to start one. But the efforts stalled when members of the task force reportedly couldn’t agree on whether the undertaking was worthwhile. Hughes says there also wasn’t enough funding to pay for what, no doubt, would have been a costly undertaking, requiring massive construction of warehouses and other infrastructure. According to a report by the Kem C. Gardner Policy Institute, interest over an inland port authority resurfaced in 2006, when the World Trade Center Utah opened and Union Pacific built a $90-million intermodal terminal for cross-country railroad shipping in northwest Salt Lake. A few years later, Salt Lake City reactivated its Foreign Trade Zone—a federally authorized area where international companies can operate without paying customs duties or import tariffs. Elected officials, land developers and other stakeholders were also encouraged when reconstruction on Salt Lake City International Airport began in 2014 and the state decided to relocate the prison to the city’s Northwest Quadrant. Last year, Gov. Gary Herbert signed the Utah Inland Port Authority into law with SB234. The bill was introduced by Sen. Jerry Stevenson, R-Layton, and it passed in the final hours of the Legislature’s 2018 session. The sudden passage of the bill left Salt Lake officials and residents feeling blindsided. The city had sought to revitalize the area on its own terms by adopting the eco-

logically friendly “Northwest Quadrant Master Plan” and engaging in other efforts. Biskupski has refused to negotiate with state officials as she pursues her lawsuit. Her amended complaint, filed in 3rd District Court, argues that the project violates the Utah Constitution because it takes away city authority over land and property taxes in the 16,000 acres of Salt Lake’s Northwest Quadrant where the Inland Port Authority now holds jurisdiction. Other activists have voiced concerns about worsening air quality, increased traffic congestion and the way the project could disrupt the habitat of migratory birds in the Great Salt Lake wetlands. Long-underserved western neighborhoods like Rose Park and Poplar Grove could also face the brunt of industrial pollution and congestion. Given his experience in California and the Pacific Northwest, Hedge says he’s aware of the impact port operations can represent. “I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it, and I didn’t move here to recreate it,” he states. “We will do better. We have a lot of work to do to get there—but we will do better.”

Resistance DNA

To Civil Riot, the inland port represents just another example of capitalist greed—a project that will contribute to the exploitation of wildlife habitats and indigenous lands, further depleting the planet’s natural resources while laying environmental burdens on underserved communities. Petersen and Sonny Anderson, the founders of Civil Riot, held their first meeting on March 14. They keep the group open-ended, welcoming anybody who would like to attend. So far they’ve attracted as many as 100 people at each meeting, with about 20 or 30 fellow activists forming a core group. Their approach is modeled on Petersen and Ander-

Welcome to the Big Top

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Jeff Hartley, a Utah lobbyist and political strategist who has been part of discussions over the Inland Port Authority since its inception—and who drew jeers on social media when D-News reporter Katie McKellar posted video of him standing in her way during Civil Riot’s June protest—says the project would offer major benefits, bringing the state’s array of import and export activities under one roof. “You already have a lot of these activities going on, they’re just not coordinated,” Hartley says. “Under a state initiative, you could coordinate all of that activity so that it is logical and it makes sense. You could actually divert a lot of traffic that’s going to Salt Lake City now and keep it out of Salt Lake County.” Important things like this are impossible to talk about, though, when groups like Civil Riot create a “circus atmosphere” at public meetings, Hartley says. “Rather than having good policy debated in those board meetings, we just have protesters chaining themselves or handcuffing themselves to fixtures in the room,” he says. “It’s just a distraction. It’s just noise.” And what about interfering with a reporter who’s doing her job? Hartley downplays what happened with McKellar, claiming he was acting out of frustration and only blocking her way for four seconds. “I have a right to express my frustration with and disagreement with Katie’s choice of what’s newsworthy.” Hughes, for his part, bemoans the way hardline opponents of the inland port refuse to participate in the public process. The board has hired an outside company, Envision Utah, to gauge public opinion, while its meetings are meant to provide a way for citizens to observe proceedings and get involved. Hughes says he’s sympathetic to opponents’ concerns and thinks it would be more effective if they voiced them through the proper channels.

to join the protest at Standing Rock, where he says he was arrested multiple times. The experience deepened his knowledge of social issues and indigenous culture, he adds. “A lot of it was just learning and being quiet,” Petersen recalls of meeting Native American activists and organizers from across the country. “They implemented a lot of stacking where, for example, white men were discouraged from speaking in certain meetings, so that the voices of women and people of color could be prioritized. It was really insightful because we tend to occupy all the predominant spaces in society, and we tend to have a disproportionate influence on policy and everything.” Back in Salt Lake, Petersen has taken these lessons to heart in his work with Civil Riot. He says members make decisions collectively, embracing progressive values against misogyny, racism and homophobia while avoiding the dogma of ideological purity. Some Civil Riot members joined in the effort against the inland port because they see parallels with struggles they’ve previously been involved with. ‘Amelia Niumeitolu and her husband Ti Tavai were part of an initiative in Los Angeles County dedicated to halting construction of the Southern California International Gateway, a $500-million rail yard project headed up by a subsidiary of Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway conglomerate, which threatened to bring clouds of diesel fumes and other health risks to nearby residential areas and schools. “As soon as we heard about what was going on here in Utah, we felt that it was going to be the same thing—but inland,” Tavai says. “Reaching the communities of people of color, working its way out here.” “We wanted to get involved,” Niumeitolu adds.

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son’s experiences at the Standing Rock Indian Reservation in North Dakota. In 2016 and 2017, they joined thousands of other “water protectors”—including Native Americans from across the country, along with politicians, environmentalists, activists and journalists—in a mass protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline, a 1,172-mile-long underground oil pipeline that threatened to ruin sacred grounds and contaminate the region’s water supply. Although the protests attracted broad-based support and widespread media attention, they also turned violent as private security contractors and police in riot gear sought to clear out the unarmed protectors with attack dogs and water cannons. To these two young activists, the militant response underscored the unwillingness of government authorities and business interests to compromise when decisions have already been made behind the scenes. It also made Anderson reflect on the larger history of Native American persecution in the United States. In 1961, his own tribe, the Menominee, were stripped of their tribal status by the federal government. They spent the next decade fighting back, retaining their hunting and fishing rights in a landmark 1968 Supreme Court ruling and later regaining their sovereignty with a bill signed by President Richard Nixon in 1973. “I come from a long line of resistance. It’s in my DNA,” says Anderson, who also has roots with the Ho-Chunk Nation. “I think I was drawn to stuff like this. I always had it in me, but it took me a while.” Petersen grew up in Cache Valley in northern Utah. He was studying math, chemistry and biology at the University of Utah when he first started getting into the writings of political thinkers like Gene Sharp and Frances Fox Piven. He took a leave of absence from his schooling

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

Stop the Polluting Port Coalition’s Deeda Seed

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PETER HOLSLIN

“It’s sad, because I think there are incredibly important questions to be raised about our air shed, about truck traffic,” Hughes says. “But I also think there are discussions and answers, or at least ideas to be shared, that would address these concerns. “If public access is merely meant to shut down the work—the public work—[then] that is not what open hearings were ever meant to do,” he adds. “You don’t want people screaming past one another or not hearing each other.”

Keeping It Civil These assurances don’t mean much to Civil Riot. In their experience, the public meetings mostly just provide a pro forma opportunity for citizens to vent their feelings, and then watch helplessly as the real decisionmakers get down to business. “We know it’s bullshit, and we’re calling it as bullshit,” Petersen says. Members of Civil Riot rolled deep at Inland Port Authority meetings in February and March, with a handful of activists delivering public comments for the official record. Petersen and others also attended an Envision Utah public forum in February, as did Niumeitolu and Tavai. But the meetings felt to them like a charade. The board members were letting the people speak, but were they listening? “They set their timer and you’re, like, mid-stream thought and the timer goes off and they start talking

over you,” Nate Haslam, a Civil Riot member who spoke at the March board meeting, says. “We sat there for two and a half hours to get three minutes.” Other critics of the project share their frustrations. “They did come to testify. This wasn’t just out of the blue,” says Deeda Seed, a former city councilwoman who has been following the inland port project closely as a member of the Stop the Polluting Port coalition. “We’ve all been testifying for over a year now, and have been really dismissed by the board: ‘Oh, this is just a perfunctory thing.’ There’s been no substantive response to the concerns that are expressed. And I will say that the testimony for the most part has been really eloquent and issue-specific … All sorts of community members have been coming and very bravely speaking to the port board, but we haven’t really seen a response.” Civil Riot wants the inland port to end, or at least for stakeholders behind the project to put out a more concerted effort to engage the people of Salt Lake.

Ruthless & Individualistic On June 19, members of Civil Riot marched to the Sugar House offices of Colmena Group, a real estate firm involved in efforts to develop the inland port. Two activists blockaded the door with a giant banner, while another lead the group in a series of chants of “Abort the port!” and “No justice, no peace!”—their voices bouncing off the brick walls of the surrounding buildings in the courtyard that included Colmena’s offices.

PETER HOLSLIN

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Michelle McKee

Michelle McKee, a mother who has struggled with asthma because of Salt Lake’s air quality, knocked on the heavy glass doors with hopes of delivering a letter of protest to Colmena president Lance Bullen. When nobody answered, she read the letter out loud: “We are no longer interested in politely asking those of you with power and influence to allow us a livable planet. Your pursuit of profit and luxury requires that you be ruthless and individualistic to a degree that is criminal.” Later that day, a woman who answered the phone at Colmena Group’s offices took down City Weekly’s contact info and passed it to an outside PR firm for comment. Mike McCarlie at DJM Consulting Group, a Salt Lake City-based agency that specializes in crisis management, emailed a statement that pointedly did not mention the protest or the activists behind it: “We are encouraged by the Utah Inland Port Authority (UIPA) Board’s desire to create a project that is smart, forward-thinking, sustainable and clean. Many ideas have been discussed, such as increasing rail capacity to slow the growth of truck traffic, use renewable energy within the port, construct energy efficient buildings and other ideas that are sustainable and would benefit our state. We look forward to working with the State, the UIPA Board, cities involved and city councils as they determine the way forward.” Who did the statement also forget to mention? The public. CW

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Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre When summer hits and temperatures soar along the Wasatch Front, a 90-minute drive north to Logan to see the Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre is a great chance to beat the heat. The festival features six different productions that rotate daily at 1 and 7:30 p.m., Monday through Saturday. The opera section features Master Class, The Marriage of Figaro and Bravo, Caruso! Michael Ballam, founding general director of the festival, stars in Bravo, Caruso! Set backstage at the Metropolitan Opera in 1920, legendary singer Enrico Caruso prepares for his last performance; the catch is he doesn’t know it’s his last time. Master Class stars Suzan Hanson as opera diva Maria Callas, advising young singers at Juilliard in 1971. The Marriage of Figaro, Mozart’s well known operatic comedy, rounds out the trio. The musical theater portion of the festival offers a lineup of family-friendly Disney favorites Newsies and Mary Poppins, along with the classic West Side Story. Besides those performances, a number of other experiences are available to add behindthe-scenes information to the on-stage entertainment. Cast members will perform in a “Late Night Cabaret” at Cafe Sabor at 11 p.m. on July 11, 18 and 25. Literary seminars take place in the mornings Wednesdays through Friday to let patrons get a sense of all of the elements that go into a production. And be sure to check out one of the free, 30-minute “Informances” one hour before each show. (Geoff Griffin) Utah Festival Opera & Musical Theatre @ Ellen Eccles Theatre (43 S. Main) and Utah Theatre (18 W. Center St.), Logan, July 4-Aug. 3, dates and times vary, $25-$79, ufomt.org

THURSDAY 7/4

Independence Day Celebrations July 4th is here—bringing American flags, fireworks and a host of community-wide parties along the Wasatch Front. The Gateway Mall’s plaza features live music, a karaoke station and contests throughout the afternoon. Attendees can get craft beer from Bohemian Brewery and cocktails from Five Wives Vodka. For family-friendly options, restaurants will be open and local food trucks will be in the plaza. Fireworks at The Gateway: The Gateway, 18 N Rio Grande St., July 4, 4-10 p.m., free, shopthegateway.com Sandy’s all-day festival starts at 6:50 a.m. with a 5k race and continues through the night with music, a 5050 BMX Stunt Show, a Youth Arts Festival, parade and more. Metro Music Club headlines the traditional evening concert before and after the fireworks “sky concert.” Sandy City’s July 4th Celebration: 10000 S. Centennial Parkway, Sandy, July 4, 6:50 a.m.-10:30 p.m., free, sandy.utah.gov In addition to the standard outdoor sports, kids’ activities, parade and live music, Park City’s all-day festival offers a pancake breakfast in the morning, refreshments at noon and a barbecue in the evening. Celebrate in the cool mountain air. Park City 4th of July Parade and Celebration: Historic Main Street & City Park, 1354 Park Ave., Park City, July 4, 7 a.m.-10 p.m., free, visitparkcity.com Keith Urban headlines this year’s annual Stadium of Fire concert in Provo, culminating in one of the largest stadium fireworks shows in the states. If you’re looking for more fun after the fireworks, the city hosts a family-friendly street dance on the west side of the stadium. (Kylee Ehmann) Stadium of Fire: Lavell Edwards Stadium, 1700 N. Canyon Road, Provo, July 4, 8 p.m., $35-$250, freedomfestival.org

KAREN BOE

KABIR BAKIE VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

KENDAL BATES

THURSDAY 7/4

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, JULY 4-10

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

KAT HENNESSY

ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 7/5 Love Letters

One does not have to be a font aficionado to enjoy the pop-up exhibit Love Letters now open through Sept. 1 at The Gateway. Collaborating with Hall of Breakfast pros John Connors and Sophie Weichers, creators Becca and Josh Clason have spent weeks working to create an engaging wonderland of art within the alphabet. Showcasing artistry in the form of books, stories, words and letterforms by local and worldrenowned artists, the hands-on exhibits offer an experience unlike anything seen before. With 15,000 square feet of space, all are encouraged to immerse themselves into many forms of letter love as soon as they walk through the secret door. Fifteen site-specific creations include gliding down oversized pages of a book, giant alphabet blocks perfect for climbing and a discovery of hidden treasures in the Tiny Art Show gallery. “This exhibit serves as an empowering reminder to visitors that the words they speak and write each day are meaningful, and can be used to tell stories and foster connection,” Connors says. Open just more than a week at press time, compliments are already beginning to flood the museum’s Instagram page. “My kids have been asking if we can go back every day! Love this so much! This is brilliant!” one person writes. Love Letters is meant to show that everyone has a story worth telling and tickets include entry to the exhibit, a custom pin, a linocut art print and a stamped postcard to mail their own personalized love letter. (Colette A. Finney) Love Letters @ The Gateway, 24 S. Rio Grande St., through Sept. 1, TuesdaySaturday 11 a.m.-8 p.m., adults $16.50, under 10 years old $12, 2 and under free, lovelettersmuseum.com

SATURDAY 7/6

Bravo Broadway! Life Is A Cabaret Ask most folks the names of the composers responsible for the all-time great Broadway musicals, and the songwriting teams of Lerner & Loewe and Rogers & Hammerstein are usually those that initially come to mind. However, true Broadway buffs will also note the contributions of John Kander and Fred Ebb, the prolific team responsible for such musicals as Chicago and Cabaret. A diversified duo, Kander and Ebb scored what was arguably their biggest success through their musical contributions to Martin Scorsese’s classic film New York, New York. The title tune became a massive hit as Frank Sinatra’s definitive signature song. Likewise, Liza Minelli and Chita Rivera also benefitted from the pair’s captivating catalog, parts of which became integral additives of their stage shows. It’s little wonder then that the Utah Symphony chose to invite Broadway veterans Debbie Gravitte (Les Miserables, Chicago), Morgan James (pictured, Motown the Musical, Godspell) and Hugh Panaro (Les Miserables, The Phantom of the Opera, Sweeney Todd) to join them in a salute to these most successful songsmiths. The production, grandly dubbed Bravo Broadway! Life Is a Cabaret, finds guest conductor Randall Craig Fleisher taking the podium for another of the symphony’s 16th season of appearances at the Deer Valley Music Festival, a seven-week series of concerts featuring a variety of stars and styles. OK, so life isn’t always what we’d call a cabaret. It’s tough at times. So what better way to escape than allowing a symphony to seduce you? (Lee Zimmerman) Bravo Broadway! Life Is A Cabaret @ Deer Valley Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Park City, July 6, 7:30 p,m., $15-$97, arttix.org

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A&E

Believe the Hyper

David Payne turns an arcade game collection into a mobile gallery of “fine hyper art.” BY PARKER SCOTT MORTENSEN comments@cityweekly.net @_coldbloom

pend enough nights out in the city and you’ll come across it: a mysterious black bus parked outside a bar, maybe another venue. A string of neon lights leads inside, and by the door, a chalkboard sign reads, “Dare to enter: Gallery of Fine Hyper Art.” Inside, the bus seats have been gutted. Instead, you’ll find eight different arcade cabinets—some recognizable to any casual arcade goer, like Altered Beast or Ghosts ’n’ Goblins, and some obscure, curated works, like Batsugun or Radiant Silvergun. Five of the eight games are shoot-’em-ups, or “shmups,” games of the Galaga lineage where the player must survive and retaliate against volleys of bullet-hell-spewing enemies. The Gallery of Fine Hyper Art (GoFHA) is something of a shrine to these types of games, a mobile museum wrapper that contextualizes them as the fine hyper art that the gallery’s owner, David Payne, believes they are. If you’ve never heard of “fine hyper art” before, it’s because Payne invented the phrase. “It describes what happens when you put all these mediums together into one cohesive form,” he says. The art, the game mechanics, the user interaction, even the sculpture-like physicality of the cabinets themselves— this is, the Alpine, Utah, native argues, the intersection of maximum labor and maximum tradition.

The idea for GoFHA slowly came together after Payne developed his own game, JPO in SLC. It’s a shmup that retells Payne’s experience as a member of his brother’s nine-piece orchestra, “playing the saxophone in dangerous places in a city with poor arts infrastructure because of strict alcohol laws,” the mobile curator says. He started development in 2017, and gained a new appreciation for the complexity of video games after years of only collecting them. In the winter of 2018, Payne realized his desire to show off not only his own collection, but JPO as well. “If I got a bus, I could display and transport [the cabinets] easily,” the 43-year-old says, “and I wouldn’t have to pay fees to get into conventions.” It seemed like an exciting workaround to the problem many arcade collectors have in sharing their pieces with others. Payne used a $10,000 inheritance from his grandfather to purchase a van on KSL. “I spent the next month cutting the seats out and wiring it for voltage, plugs and everything,” he says. “Over the next three months, I added little details. It’s pretty much done now. The last thing is the gift shop, because now I’m trying to hype the museum aspect.” Before GoFHA was even conceptualized, Payne met Josie Cordova, who was also developing their own game, To Space, Comrade! The two met through playing small electronica shows around town, and, realizing they shared a hobby, decided to collaborate and fuel each other’s fervor. At the time, Cordova had recently left a stable job and was somewhat rudderless, pouring themself into To Space in hopes of selling it on a digital storefront. But, because of the way To Space was originally coded, it became unfeasible to create a commodified version for download. “Eventually I realized that To Space, Comrade! wasn’t going to precipitate financial security for me,” Cordova says. “At that point, it shed that high-stakes monetary significance.” Payne persuaded Cordova to put the

BLYTHE PENN

GAMING

game into cabinet form. “Our earnest, early plan was to sell these cabinets,” Payne admits. He even built a second cabinet of JPO to shop around town, hoping Quarters Arcade Bar would be interested; it fell through. GoFHA then crystalized: They’d take these arcade cabinets, typically thought of as commercial and interchangeable commodities, put them with other classics from Payne’s collection and shine an artistic light on them. It’s worth visiting GoFHA to see the original works alone. To Space, Comrade! plays unlike any other game. You control a flotilla of pods headed to Mars in hopes of forming a new Soviet worker state. Although it plays similarly to a shmup, the player can’t shoot—only avoid incoming asteroids and space debris. It’s difficult. To survive, you must extract resources from comets, execute moles and be willing to lose dozens of frozen corpses to space. Your reward? A radicalized Mars, along with all her moons.

David Payne and his Gallery of Fine Hyper Art

“Losing is fine in this game, because it’s about the journey, the grasping,” Cordova says. “In GoFHA, this surreal arcade on wheels, any game within takes on that gestalt, magical status. Because of Dave, because he built this thing, the creative output of this painful but ultimately productive and transformative year of making To Space was transmuted into a finer state. It has fully embodied its status as hyper art by becoming a disembodied expression of myself, floating around our city.” GoFHA is a hard experience to catch. “I take it out when I’ve just added something new or am feeling stoked on it,” Payne says. Follow its Instagram, @thegofha, for your best shot. He announces its next destination only days—sometimes just hours—in advance, but if you do find it, dare to enter, and celebrate this unlikely expression of fine art. CW

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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Photographer Ed Kosmicki explores the phenomenon of air pollution along the Wasatch Front, in both its visible and invisible forms, in Under the Bad Air of Heaven at Marmalade Branch Library (280 W. 500 North, slcpl.org), through Aug. 15.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

A Chorus Line Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, July 5-21, dates and times vary, parkcityshows.com Cinderella Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., through Sept. 7, showtimes vary, hct.org Freaky Friday Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., through Aug. 24, dates and times vary, hct.org My Fair Lady CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, through July 13, dates and times vary, centerpointtheatre.org Mary Poppins Ellen Eccles Theater, 43 S. Main, Logan, July 6-Aug. 3, dates and times vary, ufomt.org (see p. 18) The Marriage of Figaro Ellen Eccles Theatre, 43 S. Main, Logan, July 5-Aug. 2, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org (see p. 18) Newsies Ellen Eccles Theater, 43 S. Main, Logan, July 5-Aug. 2, dates and times vary, ufomt.org (see p. 18) Nunsense CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, through July 6, dates vary, 7 p.m., centerpointtheatre.org Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Sept. 1, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org Sunday School Musical Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, Murray, through Aug. 25, desertstar.biz Utah Shakespeare Festival Southern Utah University, 195 W. Center St., Cedar City, through Oct. 12, times and prices vary, bard.org West Side Story Ellen Eccles Theater, 43 S. Main, Logan, July 6-Aug. 3, date and times vary, ufomt.org (see p. 18)

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Bravo Broadway! Life is a Cabaret Deer Valley Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Park City, July 6, 7:30 p.m., deervalleymusicfestival.com (see p. 18) Concert III: Death and the Maiden Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, July 8, 7:30 p.m., intermezzoconcertseries.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Heather Mabbott Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, July 5-6, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Heath Harmison Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, July 5-6, times vary, 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Hive Comedy Presents: Jokes 4 Barb The Hive Collaborative, 591 S. 300 West, Provo, July 6, 7 p.m., thehivecollaborative.com Laughing Stock Improv Comedy The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., theobt.org Open Mic Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Wednesdays, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Random Tangent Improv Comedy Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Saturdays, 10 p.m., randomtangentimprov.org Stand & Deliver Improv Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, July 9, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

9th West Farmers Market Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 West, Sundays through Oct. 13, 10 a.m.2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Saturdays through Oct. 19, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Park City Farmers Market Silver King Resort, 1845 Empire Ave., Park City, Wednesdays through mid-October, noon-5 p.m., parkcityfarmersmarket.com Park Silly Sunday Market Main Street, Park City, Sundays through Sept. 22, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., parksillysundaymarket.com Wheeler Sunday Market Wheeler Farm, 6351 S. 900 East, Murray, Sundays through Oct. 27, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., slco.org/wheeler-farm

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Arts in the Park West Ogden Park, 751 W. 24th St., Ogden, July 8-12, noon-1 p.m., weber.edu

LGBTQ

1 to 5 Club: Fluidly Speaking Discussion Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, fourth Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m., utahpridecenter.org 1 to 5 Club: Game Night Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, first Mondays, 7:30-9:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org 1 to 5 Club: Radical Reading Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, third Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m., utahpridecenter.org TransAction Weekly Meeting Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, Sundays, 2-3:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce Breakfast Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, third Thursdays, 7:30-9 a.m., utahgaychamber.com

INDEPENDENCE DAY

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Samantha Hastings: The Last Word The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, July 9, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

TALKS & LECTURES

Collector’s Book Salon Weller Bookworks, 607 S. Trolley Square, every last Friday, 6:30 p.m., wellerbookworks.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

| CITY WEEKLY |

Andrew Dadson: Roof Gap UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org Deanna & Ed Templeton: Contemporary Suburbium UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org Following in the Footprints of Chinese Railroad Workers Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, through Sept. 27, goldenspike150.org Form, Line and Color: Modernism and Abstraction David Dee Fine Art, 1709 E. 1300 South, Ste. 201, through Aug. 30 Hannah Emerson and Jesse Campbell: What Do You See? Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, through July 12, accessart.org Jiyoun Lee-Lodge: Waterman the Stranger Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through July 5, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Love Letters The Gateway, 24 S. Rio Grande St., through Sept. 1, lovelettersmuseum.com (see p. 18) Neo Archaic Magic and Happiness is Humanness Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, through July 12, accessart.org Paper and Thread Modern West Fine Art, 412 S. 700 West, through Aug. 31, modernwestfineart.com Reimagined Travels, J GO Gallery, 268 Main, Park City, through July 24, jgogallery.com Spencer Finch: Great Salt Lake and Vicinity Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through Nov. 28, umfa.utah.edu Taralee Guild: Distorted Reflections J Go Gallery, 268 Main, Park City, through July 24, jgogallery.com Time + Materials Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through Aug. 30, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Under the Bad Air of Heaven Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, through Aug. 15, slcpl.org (see p. 22) The Wonder of Watercolor Utah Cultural Celebration Center Gallery, 3155 W. 3100 South, through July 9, culturalcelebration.org

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

74th Annual Bit n’ Spur 4th of July Rodeo Deseret Peak Complex, 2930 W. Highway 112, Tooele, July 4, 8 p.m., tooelebitnspur.com 2019 “Small Town Fourth” Midway Town Hall, 145 W. Main, Midway, July 4, 7 a.m., midwaycityut.org 4th of July Celebration Thanksgiving Point, 3003 Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, July 4, 4 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org 4th of July Parade Kaysville Elementary School, 50 N. 100 East, Kaysville, July 4, 10 a.m., kaysvillecity.com 4th of July Celebration and Fireworks Park City Mountain Resort, 1345 Lowell Ave., Park City, July 4, 11 a.m., pcski.com (see p. 18) Fireworks at The Gateway 400 W. 100 South, The Gateway, July 4, 4 p.m., shopthegateway.com (see p. 18) Cherry Days North Ogden Park, 2705 N. 550 East, July 4, 6:30 a.m., nowplayingutah.com Fourth of July Celebration Fisher Park, 934 S. 1000 E., Clearfield, July 4, 6 p.m., clearfieldcity.org Freedom Days Utah County Courthouse, Provo, 51 S. University Ave., through July 6, times vary, freedomfestival.org Huntsville Independence Day Celebration Huntsville, 7309 E. 200 South, July 4, times vary, huntsvilletown.com July 4th Parade and Festivities Fitts Park, 3050 S. 500 East, July 4, 7:30 a.m., southsaltlakecity.com Independence Day Celebration and Parade Bountiful City Park, 400 N. 200 West, Bountiful, July 4, times vary, wbcity.org Layton’s Liberty Days Layton Commons Park, 437 N. Wasatch Drive, Layton, July 4, 6 a.m., laytoncity.org Magna 4th of July Celebration, Magna Copper Park, 8950 W. 2600 South, July 7 a.m., magnautah.org Murray Fun Days Murray City Park, 296 E. Murray Park Ave., July 4, a.m. murray.utah.gov Park City’s 4th of July Parade and Celebration Historic Main Street, Park City, July 4, 7 a.m., visitparkcity.com Sandy City’s July 4th Celebration Sandy City

Hall, 10000 Centennial Parkway, Sandy, July 4, 7 a.m., sandy.utah.gov (see p. 18) Stadium of Fire LaVell Edwards Stadium, 1700 N. Canyon Road, Provo, July 4, 8 p.m., freedomfestival.org (see p. 18) West Jordan Grand Parade West Jordan City Hall, 8000 S. Redwood Road, July 4, 10:30 a.m., westjordan.utah.gov

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| CITY WEEKLY |

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GRAND OPENING!

Cajun Seafood & Bar

1508 Woodland Park Dr. Layton, Utah 84041 385-278-6666

ALEX SPRINGER

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

AT A GLANCE

Open: Monday-Thursday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday, 10 a.m.-midnight; Saturday, noon-midnight; Sunday, noon-9 p.m. Best bet: Chubby boba, anyone? Can’t miss: Spam musubi all the way

JULY 4, 2019 | 25

frozen yogurt shops where you can pile the stuff high on whatever dessert you’ve concocted. That said, there are a few telltale signs that the place where you’re sipping on some whacked-out flavored tea, as you watch those chewy little orbs of tapioca slide up

| CITY WEEKLY |

The rise and fall of the boba trend has left its mark on coffee shop menus all over the country. It’s not hard to transfer the concept to other drinks, so it’s become more common to see boba drinks at several local coffee shops. I’ve also seen it cross borders into DIY

f a coastal dining fad like boba tea and smoothies makes its way to a landlocked state like Utah, you know it’s become a permanent part of American dining culture. While drinking flavored tea loaded with slippery pearls of tapioca has lost a bit of its novelty as of late, boba joints like Quickly (3521 W. 3500 South, 385-274-4938, quicklyutah.com) have continued to find success in their business model. A big part of Quickly’s success is its association with the Quickly USA franchise group, which opened its first store in Southern California in 2002. The early 2000s saw boba tea explode in popularity, and Quickly used this momentum to open several stores in California before setting its sights on other cities. It came to its West Valley digs in 2017 where it’s been thriving ever since.

meat with a sushi-like preparation— it’s the perfect middle finger to sushi snobs worldwide. I’ve had this once or twice before, and I have to say that the musubi here is among the best. Here, the excess rice is necessary to help tamp down the saltiness of the Spam and the teriyaki sauce, creating balanced, sweet-and-salty bites throughout the experience. In a menu replete with weird choices, you’d almost expect this peculiar Hawaiian export to make an appearance—I’ll leave it up to the individual diner to decide whether this is a good or a bad thing. Overall, Quickly is ideal for a quick stop for an inventive—and reasonably priced—beverage, but there is some definite charm in being able to order up some egg rolls or pot stickers in a to-go bag for the road. It’s also perfect for that person in your life who loves their food deep-fried and spherical. I’m sure they exist. Somewhere. CW

Whether it’s boba or takoyaki, Quickly has a round-shaped snack just for you.

primarily when you’re in the mood for something slightly textural and weird to drink, since their menu of snacks and rice bowls is not as inventive as their drink selection—though it does share a certain spherical cohesion. Fish balls, shrimp balls and takoyaki—octopus balls—are the stars of the menu. Golden brown and topped with sweet teriyaki sauce and creamy mayo, all these balls are good balls. Their snacks come in wax paper bags or cardstock boxes, which lends a fast food aesthetic to the bulk of the menu. Since everything is deep fried, it only seems appropriate. The rice bowls ($5.99) are little more than a gigantic wad of white rice topped with whichever fried balls you’d like, along with the option to choose grilled teriyaki chicken or fried popcorn chicken—which is still vaguely ball-shaped. They throw on a bit of sauce for good measure, but I’d suggest getting whichever fried snack sounds best and ditching the accompanying bowl of rice. In most rice bowls I have known, rice can be a good starchy complement to most any dish, but here it just gets in the way. The most notable edible on the menu would have to be the Spam musubi ($1.99), an unapologetic Hawaiian delicacy that mixes canned

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Belle of the Balls

your straw, is one of the genre pioneers. For example, offering a drink menu that completely dwarfs the food menu is a sure sign that you’re in a place that knows what it’s doing. Quickly’s menu starts off with around eight drink bases, from fresh tea ($1.50) to the more tricked out panda milk tea ($3.50). From there, you can choose flavor combinations from a list that contains lychee, taro, peppermint and other more familiar fruits—all of which comes before you pick what flavor of boba or jelly you’d like to add. Honestly, a drink menu of this magnitude throws me for a loop. When I see a menu with such mind-boggling potential, I tend to get distracted with all the strange combinations that I could order. Quickly maintains a steady flow of customers, so in consideration of the line behind me, I shot from the hip and got a green tea with mango and some lychee popping boba ($2). I like a place that can supplement the grassy green tea flavor with the right amount of sweetness, and overall, this was not a bad drink for an increasingly hot summer day. Those who are really thirsty will want to upgrade to a chubby for $1.50 more— just remember to keep a straight face when you place your order. I’d suggest hitting up Quickly

Summer is here...

Bröst!

BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Celebrat i

year

Bento boxes at Kyoto

20 W. 200 S. SLC

(801) 355-3891 • siegfriedsdelicatessen.com

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BACK BURNER

26 | JULY 4, 2019

the

Executive Chef Peggi-Ince Whiting has recently announced the addition of lunchtime bento boxes at Japanese restaurant Kyoto (1080 E. 1300 South, 801-487-3525, kyotoslc.com). For $15, diners can get a bento box filled with teriyaki chicken, tempura shrimp, gyoza, tuna sashimi and a California roll with rice and a choice of miso soup or salad. Bento boxes are designed for a grab-and-go approach, which makes them perfect for something quick to take wherever you might be going. They’ve also become quite popular as catering orders since they’re ready made and packed with variety. That being said, no one is discouraged from picking up a box and enjoying Kyoto’s ambiance while you dine in.

Dutch oven cooking class

Hogle Zoo (2600 E. Sunnyside Ave., 801-584-1700, hoglezoo.org) is always on my list for something fun to do during the summer, and I recently learned about the classes that they hold on the first Saturday of the month. These classes range from snowshoeing to archery, but on Saturday, July 6, interested parties can learn how to cook up a meal with a Dutch oven. Hosts from Hogle Zoo meet attendees in Millcreek Canyon from 10 a.m. to noon to demonstrate some of the techniques and materials needed to create campfire vittles. Classes cost $5 per person, and families are welcome to attend.

Food truck roundup AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -CREEKSIDE PATIO-89 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO-SCHEDULE AT RUTHSDINER.COM“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

Independence Day and food trucks go together like volatile explosives and short fuses. Regardless of what neighborhood you plan on winding down after your patriotic festivities, you’ll not be far from a food truck or two. North Salt Lake: Legacy Park (1140 W. 1100 North), Monday, July 8, from 5 to 9 p.m. Enjoy the park while chowing down on food from The Rollin Mug, Fry Me to the Moon and Jamaica’s Kitchen. Downtown: Trolley Square (602 S. 700 East), Wednesday, July 10, from 5 to 9 p.m. Hit up our favorite local mall to check out offerings from Kona Ice, MamaLau and the Traditions Mobile Café. Sandy: Sandy Amphitheater (1245 E. 9400 South), Monday, July 8, from 5 to 9 p.m. Features Leroy’s Cowboy Sushi, Last Course and Monsieur Crepes. Check out The Food Truck League’s website for more details and locations (thefoodtruckleague.com)

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Barreling Along

Top of Main series breathes new life into Wasatch Brewery. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

deep brown color. Clarity looked good on the pour, but in the glass not a shard of light passes through, even toward the edges. A finger of creamy and dense dark tan head sits atop the beer for a good, long time. On the nose, brandy is noticeable up front; it’s sugary and chocolatey, with a swirl of dark fruit and spiced wine. It’s quite fruity up front as the first sip hits the tongue, but the brandy slowly fades into a chocolate assault—milk chocolate mixing with some bitter char. It’s in the realm of Black Forest cake topped with a brandy reduction. Dark roasted flavors, including a bit of coffee, linger past the swallow well into the aftertaste. To me, this really comes across as a rich dessert in a glass. Smooth and frothy

carbonation takes you to a milkshake state of mind. There is a noticeable warmth and liquor impression from the brandy barrels, but it’s not even close to overpowering or totally dominant. Overall: For as busy as this 9.9% beer is, it’s drinkability is higher than you might imagine. The chocolate and brandy combo recalls the familiar flavors of those liqueurfilled wrapped chocolates many of us enjoy over the holidays. Like all barrel-aged beers, these will be limited in availability. Look for these special canned releases at Wasatch’s flagship brewery in Park City or at West Side Tavern (Utah Brewers Cooperative) in Salt Lake City. As always, cheers! CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

nce upon a time, Wasatch Brewery’s Park City Brewpub was the most innovative craft beer spot in Utah. It was the first and only local brewery to open in Utah since Lucky Lager closed shop in the 1960s. Every beer that came out of Wasatch was innovative, because every beer was a first locally. Increased competition might have slowed their ability to be the revolutionaries in Utah-brewed beer, but new energy at the state’s original craft brewery has been setting new standards with its Top of Main series. Wasatch English Style Barleywine Ale: This special barleywine was aged in Pinot Noir barrels. It pours a dark hazy amber, almost brown in color with a smallish fluffy, khaki-colored head that leaves some

spotty lacing. The aroma begins with a decent amount of wine character, including grapes, dates and figs. Then you get the dark toffee and caramelized sugar and honey typical of the style. As it warms, you get some lighter, boozier Pinot notes of rum-soaked raisins. The tastes follow the nose, but are slightly less complex, as the same dark caramel, toffee and rum-soaked raisins are present once again. The vinous taste blends well with the toffee and vanilla base of the beer, and adds complexity to the bold alcohol character. It is readily noticeable that at the time of this sampling, though the beer is relatively fresh, it does have a cellared or aged feel to it. After the brew came up to almost room temperature, there was a bit of a twang about it that had me thinking it was a lactic note, but not quite. Perhaps it was just another one of the somewhat strange vinous contribution from the barrels. Overall: This is a very high quality barrel-aged barleywine from a division of Wasatch that doesn’t do much barrel aging. Nils Imboden, head brewer at Wasatch’s grand dame Park City brewery, deserves big props for this adventurous beer, and I can’t wait to get a few more cans to see how a little in my cellar treats this barleymeets-vine combination. Wasatch Baltic Porter Lager: Our second beer from the Top of Main series was laid down to age in brandy wine barrels. As you can imagine, this porter pours a very

MIKE RIEDEL

BEER NERD

18 MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

JULY 4, 2019 | 27

L U N C H • D I N N E R • C O C K TA I L S

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Contemporary Japanese Dining

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Japanese Cuisine

423 Broadway (By Homewood Suites) 801.363.0895 | samesushi.com

RicArepa Xpress

NOW OPEN

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REVIEW BITES

SO GRILL KOREAN BBQ AND SUSHI 111 W. 9000 S. Sandy, Ut | 801.566.0721

As soon as I think I have some semblance of understanding about Central American sandwich culture, I try an arepa—a flattened cornmeal cake that’s been griddle-grilled to perfection—and conclude that I truly know nothing. The exterior firms up into a pleasantly crisp crust, while the inside remains chewy and soft. Once it’s stuffed with fillings like shredded beef, black beans, fried plantains and cheese like the arepa pabellón ($8.95), the flavors and textures combine in all the best ways. The pabellón was the most balanced of the group, but I didn’t try anything that wasn’t delicious—and enormous. The arepa pernil ($7.95, pictured) combines shredded pork and a Venezuelan potato salad, which creates a starchy counterpoint to the fattiness of the pork and cheese. Those who can’t decide on which arepa best suits their mood will want to check out the goliath arepa especial ($10.95), which contains huge scoops of shredded beef, chicken, cheese and potato salad, along with shrimp for good measure. Abandon all hope of eating this entrée without the aid of a fork—once the arepa soaks up all that love, its structural integrity tends to relax and jettison its cargo. Reviewed May 23. 4616 S. 4000 West, Ste. D, West Valley City, 801-966-9393, ricarepaxpress.com

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net

Delivering Attitude for 40 years!

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves. Laid Back Poke Shack

Award Winning Donuts

Hawaiian poke has been taking the nation by storm. For those who have not yet experienced this tropical phenomenon, poke consists of sushi-grade fish piled high on a rice bowl with a seaweed salad. Laid Back Poke Shack has a multitude of menu items and they let you sample any of their seafood before you decide on the poke bowl that best defines you. Seafood fans who like heat should try the spicy ginger ahi and the spicy salmon. 6213 S. Highland Drive, 801-6358190; 1851 W. Traverse Parkway, Ste. 1, Lehi, 801-901-6397, 808to801.com

150 South 400 East, SLC | 801-322-3733 www.freewheelerpizza.com

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3370 State Street #8 South Salt Lake, UT 801-466-8888 | Full liquor license

LUNCH - $11.99 DINNER - $19.99

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT SAKURAHIBACHISLC.COM

4150 S, REDWOOD ROAD TAYLORSVILLE 801.878.7849

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| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

Located in the Commons at Sugar House, Yellowfinn serves an eclectic array of Asian and international cuisines. The main draw, however, is professionally prepared sushi and sashimi. Also on the menu are sliders, wings and salads. Be sure to stop in for “hammertime specials,” featuring discounted rolls, appetizers, sake and Sapporo beer, served up in a cozy, contemporary ambiance. 1166 E. 2100 South, 801-466-2600, yellowfinnsushi.com

JULY 4, 2019 | 29

GIFT CERTIFICATES TO UTAH’S FINEST DEVOURUTAHSTORE.COM

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STORE ★★★★★

Dinner & a Show BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

t’s easy to forget that seeing live music doesn’t always have to involve standing for hours on end, pretending your feet don’t hurt, while sipping a beer that definitely won’t take away the pain. Lowkey jams can be found at bars around the valley, where music lovers can tuck in and dine on anything from comforting bar fare to fancy fine plates. Here are four great places—among many, many more—where you can enjoy dinner, a show and a seat.

Funk ’n’ Dive

Don’t think we forget that people outside SLC go to shows too. Ogden’s Funk ’n’ Dive is the truly funky downstairs sister to the pub Harp and Hound. Both establishments are known for their killer menus, which offer up standard bar fare like quesadillas, burgers, wings and sammies—but with the twist that they offer all that on a fully-stocked vegan menu as well as their omnivorous one. Funk ’n’ Dive also plays host to nights of music, karaoke and trivia—real dive bar behavior, if you ask me. Cool down from the Fourth of July festivities in this underground haven with the groovy offerings of Logan’s psychedelic, folky, funky Panthermilk, who are joined by Neil-Young styled The Painted Roses and local duo Josh & Gary. Order some vegan Buffalo Tender Tigers, wash it down with a few beers and let the alcohol and good food fuel you for a night of stomping along to these spirited local musicians.

PANTHERMILK, THE PAINTED ROSES, JOSH & GARY

Friday, July 5 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden 9 p.m., 21+ facebook.com/funkndive

Silver Star Café

If you ever find yourself in Park City wishing to enjoy the mountainous scenery, the fresh air and a menu to die for, The Silver Star Café is the place to go. With ample outdoor seating and a dedicated outdoor music presence in the summer, plus a menu that earned them a spot on Food Network (the part of me that is most related to my mother is very impressed by that), this is a spot for when you want to treat yourself to both really good food and really good entertainment. The restaurant hosts acoustic music dinner shows, known as Park City Limits, every Thursday,

GAVIN POUQUETTE

A few local spots where you can sit back, relax and enjoy the music. Friday and Saturday night, on the patio in the summer. It’s an intimate affair that features singer-songwriters and is open for all diners to enjoy. Saturday finds the harmonious tunes of the Mister Sister Trio—a group made up of sisters Brady Chavez, Nina Oyler and their “mister,” seasoned guitarist Dan Hall—there to delight the diners.

MISTER SISTER TRIO

Saturday, July 6 1825 Three Kings Drive Times vary, all ages thesilverstarcafe.com

Hog Wallow Pub

Who says nightlife has to happen in the city? It doesn’t, especially when places like Hog Wallow Pub exist a short 20-or-so minutes from downtown Salt Lake, on the edge of Big Cottonwood Canyon. Covered in ivy, this squat little bar is the perfect getaway if you want an easy bar to relax at to hear some music and enjoy a bite in the fresh open air of the canyon. The historic spot—open since 1947— feels like the perfect neighborhood bar, where you can reliably enjoy bar food classics (burgers, loaded fries, wings and ribs) alongside live music most nights. The music one can find there matches the vibe of the homey mountain location—Americana, reggae, blues, funk, soul and jazz all find an easy home at Hog Wallow. Locals of these genres play here often, so it’s a great place to get in touch with the local scene. Get there at dusk, order dinner, camp out on the back porch and head back inside once the sun sets to listen to some tunes. Utah’s own four-piece band Triggers & Slips plays a show that touches on almost all of Hog Wallow’s welcomed genres on Saturday. Their music— assisted by lap steel and electric guitars, along with harmonicas, drums and bass—dabbles in everything from psychedelia to bluegrass, shot through with rock, folk and a touch of country. Sounds like a good sampler for the sort of thing Hog Wallow always has to offer.

Panthermilk

Lake Effect

There’s a rustic, easy-to-miss sign outside of Lake Effect that says something about a Rabbit Hole—and this SLC bar is just that. The inside is like a fever dream, with a back bar featuring towering shelves of liquor so high that the bartenders have to swing up on ladders to grab them. There are gray booths with ridiculously high chair backs, and fairy-light-like chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It would be easy to feel swallowed up at this bar, but luckily good music and food pull everyone back down (up?) to earth. With an inventive menu weighted with tacos, BBQ and small plates (which extends itself to an equally delicious late-night menu for night owls), diners can eat a full meal and enjoy one of Lake Effect’s lounge-y evening shows, which often feature local DJs, folk, jazz and blues artists. Tennessee-to-Utah duo Sauce It headlines on Tuesday, with opener Tony Oros spicing things up to start the evening. CW

SAUCE IT, TONY OROS

Tuesday, July 9 155 W. 200 South 6 p.m., 21+ lakeeffectslc.com

Triggers & Slips

TRIGGERS & SLIPS

Saturday, July 6 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road 9:30 p.m., 21+ thehogwallow.com

PATRICK CARNAHAN

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MUSIC

CONCERT PREVIEWS

We sell tickets!

check us first! low or no fees MAL BLUM $

MONday, 08/19 | KILBY COURT

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COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY NICK McGREGOR, ERIN MOORE, PARKER SCOTT MORTENSEN & LEE ZIMMERMAN

2106 W. North Temple. Salt Lake City, Utah 801-741-1188

10% off for military, firefighters and law enforcement

FRIDAY 7/5

SATURDAY 7/6

Sub-Radio, Galactic Touring

Sub-Radio is an interesting name for a band that actually seems to be stomping their own beat atop the very definition of radio pop. The D.C.-based sextet delivers infectious, bright pop peppered with vocalist Adam Bradley’s carefree falsetto, spirited group shouts and fast drumbeats that echo the pace of the heartbeats in the youthful narratives described in their songs. In their 2019 single “Better Than That”—where the lyrics smack of Carly Rae Jepsen and the guitar does some 1975esque jangling—Bradley sings, “Everybody’s talkin’/ and I’m feeling forgotten/ are you thinking of me? ’Cause all I see is you and me gettin’ high for free, just trying to figure it out.” Their upcoming EP was produced by Dylan Bauld, whose work with Halsey and Lights ensures that we can only expect more of their pop-perfect sound, which would be at home on any of my high-school playlists in 2011. Yes, their sound (along with their coordinated, bright, florally-accented outfits) harkens back to a moment in time when what was taken initially as indie pop quickly transformed into the standard for pure pop, when bands you discovered on Tumblr were suddenly making it onto the radio. It turns out the reason for this is that they’ve been together since 2009, when they were all, in fact, in high school together. There’s something admirable about a band willing to stick to each other, and a sound, this way. If you want a dose of glittery pop positivity, be sure to catch them at ABG’s Bar in Provo (a fitting location for such a pop act) alongside The Tourists. (Erin Moore) ABG’s Bar, 190 W. Center St., Provo, 7 p.m., $10, 21+, abgsbar.com

Priests

Priests, Olivia Neutron-John, 90s Television

Propulsion is the name of the game for post-punk trio Priests. The Washington, D.C.-based rippers lurch out of the gate on their new album The Seduction of Kansas, funneling their particular brand of American rage into rapid-fire bursts of cultural critique. Think digital immersion is destroying our youth? “Youtube Sartre” and “68 Screen” should serve as your new rallying cries. Obsessed with examining the United States’ imperial history? “Good Time Charlie” will obliterate your preconceived notion of military intervention. Fascinated by the decaying of mid-century mythology? Vocalist Katie Alice Greer feeds your fire on The Seduction of Kansas’ bookends, “Jesus’ Son” and “Texas Instruments,” which blend the danceable urgency of synth-pop with a sneering summation of our country’s hollow consumerism. The new record’s ferocity is particularly impressive when you consider that Priests’ three-person configuration is fresh; founding bassist Taylor Mulitz left the band on good terms after 2017 debut Nothing Feels Natural. But Greer, drummer Daniele Daniele and guitarist G.L. Jaguar rebuilt Priests from the ground up, “sawing off the fourth leg of a chair and rebuilding it to balance on three” as they put it in a news release for Kansas. With production from famed engineer John Congleton and multi-instrumental contributions from Janel Leppin, however, Priests 2.0 pulses and agitates with even more fire and fury. As Greer sings on “Control Freak,” updating pop culture’s most iconic Kansan for the 21st century, “You’re out of the woods, Dorothy/ I’m your control freak/ I’m your ‘no place like home’/ Bedsheets tucking you to sleep.” If the ever-evolving insanity of the American experiment fascinates you, Priests are here to roust you from your slumber. (Nick McGregor) Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court, 7 p.m., $12 presale; $14 day of show, all ages, kilbycourt.com

Sub-Radio represent the city with distinction and diversity. The New Orleans Suspects can easily be considered a super-group of sorts, given that the individual members are all veterans of some of The Crescent City’s most distinguished ensembles—among them, The Neville Brothers, The Radiators and The Dirty Dozen Brass Band. Indeed, each one of them that has contributed to the city’s enduring legacy, both past and present. Not surprisingly, then, the music they make spans a remarkable array of influences, from jazz and funk to rock, zydeco and R&B. Currently consisting of guitarist Jack Eckert, bassist Charlie Wooten, sax player Jeff Watkins, pianist CR Gruver and drummer “Mean” Willie Green, the group’s collective expertise reflects a vast array of combined influences. Little wonder then that for the past decade, the sound they’ve created has made an incisive impression of its own. That ought to come as little surprise, given that each of their four albums demonstrates the verve and versatility that only a place like NOLA can offer. Their sound also incorporates the players’ outside associations, which, over the years, have included The Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Cedric Burnside, Sonny Landreth, Joss Stone, and the Meters, among others. Even if you’ve never been to Mardi Gras, the Suspects share a sense of the sound their hometown is famous for. (Lee Zimmerman) Canyons Village at Park City, 4000 Canyon Resort Drive, Park City, 6 p.m., free, all ages, canyonsvma.com

The New Orleans Suspects

Given its musical legacy and indelible imprint on American culture, it’s appropriate that New Orleans should lend its name to an all-star group of revered musicians who

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JULY 4, 2019 | 33

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7.11 MICHELLE MOONSHSINE

JULY 11

7.10 JOHN DAVIS

JULY 07

JULY 10

7.08 OPEN BLUES & MORE JAM

JULY 09

TUESDAY NIGHT BLUEGRASS JAM WITH PIXIE AND THE PARTYGRASS BOYS 7PM

DAVE BOWEN ORCHESTRA 6PM THURSDAY NIGHT PATIO CHILL WITH ROBOT DREAM

7.06 TRIGGER & SLIPS

MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ 7PM

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SPIRITS . FOOD . LOCAL BEER

PLAY GEEK WHO DRINK PUB TRIVIA 6:30 PM BREAKING BINGO 8:30 PM TOURING ARTIST TEJON STREET CORNER THIEVES 7 PM ON PATIO

DAN FOLE

TUESDAY 7/9

Shanghai Beach, Child of Night, Glume

Brooklyn-based Steven Salazar, the man behind Shanghai Beach, is right at home in the current movement of new dark wave, which has blossomed at the hands of contemporary acts like fellow Brooklyn-ites Black Marble, Drab Majesty and The Soft Moon. Compelling as it is, moody, wormy, wire-y synths and snappy, clean electric drum beats hook you into an endless, spiraling dreamscape the way only electronic music can. I’m surprised and disappointed that as a fan of this genre’s resurgence, this is the first I’m hearing of Shanghai Beach, which has been an active project of Salazar’s since the release of the single “Space” in 2013. His long career, which has found him experimenting with sound and medium (he uses analogue and digital synths on his 2018 EP Contamination), is very respectable. He’s certainly plugged into the genre, explaining to Louder Than War that “Around the time I was writing Contamination, I was really into Boy Harsher, High Functioning Flesh, and a lot of Ministry’s first record, With Symphony.” His self-released fast, aggressive 2017 album Bizarre Mutation is certainly that, a move in an altogether more intense direction, where he ditches his deep new-wave vocals to let the shadowy synth landscape stand on its own. I’ll be sure to make up for lost time by seeing him when he comes through town with fellow gothic dark wave band Child of Night from Columbus, Ohio, and SLC’s own Glume, the solo dark wave project of Tyler Tovey. (EM) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 7 p.m., free, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

Timecop1983

Shanghai Beach

WEDNESDAY 7/10

Timecop1983, Arcade High, Korine

Jordy Leenaerts, the sole member of Timecop1983, has been making music since the days of the 386 and MS DOS. Although he exists in the crowded ’80s retrowave scene, Leenaerts’ compositions stand out for their heart, with sentimental and even romantic undertones. You can see an easy contrast from openers Arcade High and Korine—both experiment with a similar synth sound, but theirs is more percussive and energized while Timecop1983’s strengths lie in Leenaerts’ slow, winding ballads. For newcomers to this genre, the reliance on a reimagined ’80s aesthetic might be grating, but it’s hard to imagine the sound divorced from the visuals, and it’s probably why artists in this space are thought of as “cinematic.” Timecop1983’s most recent album, 2018’s Night Drive, gave us some interesting collaborations with The Midnight, LeBrock and Kinnie Lane providing vocals. Leenaerts also collaborated with Chris Köbke on last year’s Crossing Souls, a Stranger Things-influenced action-adventure video game about teens who discover a mysterious stone that lets them interact with the plane of the dead. This is all to say that, while one could imagine the sound of Timecop1983 based on a quick description alone, Leenaerts’ sound thrums at just the right wavelength to break through preconceptions. His most recent single, “My Delorean,” features Primo, who channels moments of Kate Bush in each chorus (despite singing about a car!). It’s the only Timecop1983 material to be released this year, so fans should find this live performance a treat to tide them over until the next full release. (Parker Scott Mortensen) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 8 p.m., $20, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

LYONNE VAN DER HAGEN

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JULY 4, 2019 | 35

& BLOODY MARY BAR

July 5th

Dog Friendly Patio is open!

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WORLD CUP SUNDAY BRUNCH

WITH MURPHY AND THE GIANT

Saturday July 6th Ivie Brie

KITCHENS OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT FULL VEGAN & OMNI MENUS • WEEKEND BRUNCH

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36 | JULY 4, 2019

THURSDAY 7/4

CONCERTS & CLUBS

DEBBY WONG

Keith Urban

THURSDAY 7/4

Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Jack Beats & Craze (Sky)

LIVE MUSIC

Dave Bowen Orchestra (Gracie’s) Israel Starr (The Royal) Keith Urban (LaVell Edwards Stadium) see above Memphis McCool (Park City Mountain) Natural Roots + Israel Starr Makisi (The Royal) Nick Welch (Lake Effect) Reggae at the Royal (The Royal) The Soulistics (Park City Mountain) The Underground Railroad Tour feat. Zion I (The Cabin) Whiskey Fish (Snowbird Plaza Deck)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Dusty Grooves All Vinyl DJ (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz on the Patio (Twist) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial +

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke Night (Tinwell) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck w/ Mikey Danger (Chakra Lounge) Karaoke (Union Tavern) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 7/5 LIVE MUSIC

The B.D. Howes Band (Gallivan Center) Badfeather (The Cabin) Blue Divide (The Spur) Gracie’s Bluegrass Jam (Gracie’s) Gorgeous Gourds (Gracie’s) Goth Formal (Urban Lounge) Matt Calder + Matthew Bashaw & The Hope (Lake Effect) Mister Sister Trio (Silver Star Café) see p. 30

NEW HIMALAYAN PUB FUSION SMALL PLATES MENU

To make use of an old expression, Keith Urban would seem to share in the best of both worlds. A native of lands down under—Australia and New Zealand, specifically—he continually reigns at the top of the charts. And given that he’s married to actress Nicole Kidman, he also mingles among the Hollywood elite. Add to those advantages his reputation as an exceptional guitarist, his Everyman demeanor, an ongoing role as a judge on American Idol, enough gold records to fill Fort Knox and practically every honor imaginable—Grammys, CMT Music Awards, Country Music Association Awards, Billboard Awards, Academy of Country Music Awards and People’s Choice Awards—and it’s little wonder that his star still shines so brightly. Happily, he doesn’t rest on his reputation, but instead mines a crossover appeal that attracts fans of country, rock and the various genres in-between. In addition to the nine albums he’s released in the past 30 years, his headlining tours—including his current Graffiti U World Tour—have affirmed the fact that he’s an electrifying live performer and a consistent draw capable of connecting with fans and pundits alike. Not surprisingly then, “We Were,” the single released last month, was accompanied by these musings from Urban himself: “I like the idea that life just happens. At some point, whether in the moment or not, you just gotta go with it.” Fame and fortune aside, that’s something everyone can hope for—celebrating one’s independence not only on July 4th, but every other day as well. (Lee Zimmerman) LaVell Edwards Stadium, 701 E. University Parkway, Provo, 8 p.m., $35–$250, byutickets.com Nate Robinson (The Cliff Lodge) Nathan Spenser (Harp and Hound) Ocean Alley (Kilby Court) Chase Atlantic (The Depot) Patriotic Celebration feat. Broadway’s Hugh Panarob (Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater) Panthermilk + The Painted Roses + Josh & Gary (Funk ’n’ Dive) see p. 30 Rick Gerber (Legends) Sammy Kershaw + Collin Raye + Aaron Tippin (Dejoria Center) Sub-Radio + The Tourists (ABG’s Bar) see p. 32 SuperBubble (Hog Wallow Pub) Vaudeville Nouveau (Lighthouse Lounge) Will Baxter Band (Woodenshoe Park in Peoa) 4th Ryte (Ice Haüs)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Jpan (Downstairs) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle)

Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke (Union Tavern)

SATURDAY 7/6 LIVE MUSIC

The Bankrupt Conspiracy + One Way Only (Ice Haüs) B-Side Junkeez (Johnny’s on Second) Christine Kinslow (Miner’s Plaza) Critical Speed + Hoodoo Child (The Royal) The Electric Moose Band (Park City Mountain) Evanoff + Mikael Lewis (Snowbird Center) Folkin’ Around (The Yes Hell) Home Free (Sandy Amphitheater) Ivie Brie (HandleBar) Jack Russell’s Great White (Leatherheads Sports Bar) Jazz on the Patio (Twist)

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FUNKIN’ FRIDAY

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CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

wednesday 7/3

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saturday 7/6

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Meat scam of the century skype damn dirty vultures

coming soon

7/30 7/31 8/18

9/8

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165 E 200 S SLC 801.746.3334

JULY 4, 2019 | 37

8/23

devin the dude saliva, saving abel, trapt, tantric hinder with royal bliss faster pussycat and bang tango quiet riot FOZZY

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7/26

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38 | JULY 4, 2019

PURGATORY BAR

ERIN MOORE

BAR FLY

Jim Fish + Los Hellcaminos (Lake Effect) Jim Fish (Miner’s Plaza) Justin Martin (Soundwell) JT Draper (Harp and Hound) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music (Touche Tavern) Live Trio (The Red Door) Matthew and The Hope (Garage on Beck) Mortigi Tempo + Burn L Washburn + Scenic Byway (The Art Garden) New Orleans Suspects (Canyons Village at Park City Mountain) see p. 32 Nina West (Metro Music Hall) Priests + Olivia Neutron-John + 90s TV (Kilby Court) see p. 32 Pinetop Inferno (Lighthouse Lounge) The Rolling Stones Tribute Night (Urban Lounge) Sammy Brue + Branson Anderson (Pale Horse Sound) Shannon Runyon (Cliff Lodge)

Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Triggers and Slips (Hog Wallow Pub) see p. 30 Whiskey Rebellion (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) DJ Brandi Cyrus (The Cabin) DJ Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Dirty Dave (Sky) DJ Jskee (The Spur) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Spryte (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Gothic + Industrial + Dark ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Sky Saturdays with Dirty Dave (Sky) Top 40+ EDM + Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Highlander Club)

I found myself at Purgatory on an all-too-bright Sunday, which had me squinting in hungover pain. I was headed there for a farewell brunch for a bartender at my other, grittier job that isn’t this one. The bartender was an hour late to her own party, which gave me and my fellow barback and past roommate plenty of time to take in the place. Stretching out on the spacious back patio under a blessed umbrella with the sound of pop-punk from the late-aughts filtering through the warm air, my friend points out a big mural in the back of the space. There are skulls, big bold colors; it’s the sort of art that is seeking to be edgy. We order drinks while we wait, because with all the skeletal artwork around the joint (some of the skeletons have tattoos and mustaches because they’re extra-cool dead people), it makes sense to continue the alcoholic dance of death. I get a $2 beermosa, and another plus a coffee once we move inside at the behest of a coworker who is terrified of being stung by a bee buzzing around the patio (she’s allergic). While I’m enjoying the validation of my favorite morning mixed drink actually being on a menu, and Paramore hits like “Crushcrushcrush” play over the speakers—blasting me back to middle school—my pal remarks that this place is a result of people our age who grew up and opened a bar. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? Like purgatory itself, this bar is somewhere in between. (Erin Moore) 62 E. 700 South, 801-596-2294, purgatorybar.com

Karaoke (Club 48) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-Rad (Club 90)

(Garage on Beck) Vervex (Gracie’s) Whiskey Fish (Snowbird Center)

SUNDAY 7/7

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

August Burns Red: 10 Years of Constellations Tour (The Depot) Brothers Osborne (Eccles Theater) Big Baby + Corner Case + Coolaid + BOBO (Kilby Court) Cash’d Out (Urban Lounge) Che Zuro (Lighthouse Lounge) Drouth (The Loading Dock) Dr. Bob (Park Silly Sunday Market) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Lost in Bourbon (Quarry Village) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Sophia Dion (Legends) Sundog Sky (Park Silly Sunday Market) Teresa Eggertsen Cook (Legends) The Joe McQueen Quartet

Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Union Tavern)

MONDAY 7/8 LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Idlewild Duo (Gallivan Center) Joshy Soul & The Cool (Utah Cultural Celebration Center) Mitch Raymond Trio (Lake Effect)

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40 | JULY 4, 2019

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DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00 pm

SUN:

Brunch 11:00 - 3pm DJ Soul Pause @ 9:00pm

MON:

$3 pints local micro-brews Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00pm!

TUE:

$2 Coors Light Karaoke That Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Suck! @ 10:00pm

Brunch served all day Breaking Bingo. @ 9:00 pot $2200

WED:

25oz Coors or Coors Light $2.50

THU:

CLOSED Enjoy the holiday!

Watch the WomensWorld Cup Here! As always, no cover!

32 EXCHANGE PLACE | 801-322-3200 TWISTSLC.COM | 11:00am - 1:00am

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Industry Night w/ DJ Juggy (Trails) Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Motown on Mondays feat. J Godina + Street Jesus + Chaseone2 (Alibi) Open Blues Jam w/ West Temple Taildraggers (Green Pig) Open Mic (Outlaw Saloon) Open Mic (The Cabin) Open Mic (Willies Lounge)

KARAOKE

Kick Ass Karaoke (HandleBar) Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

TUESDAY 7/9 LIVE MUSIC

Groove Tuesdays (Johnny’s on Second) Locals Lounge (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Tuesday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (Gracie’s) Tuesday Night Jazz (Alibi)

LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Lynn Jones (Lake Effect) The Aristocrats (Metro Music Hall) Burly University (Prohibition) David Holliday’s Latin Jazz All Stars (Gallivan Center) Galactic (Red Butte Garden Amphitheater) Gypsy Temple (Kilby Court) Jaime Wyatt (Urban Lounge) Live Music (Chakra Lounge) Nick and Palmer (The Spur) Ona Welch (Gallivan Center) Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater) Timecop1983 + Arcade High + Korine (The Complex) see p. 34 John Davis (Hog Wallow Pub)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Casper (Area 51) Karaoke (Club 48) Karaoke w/ B-Rad (Club 90) Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Johnny’s on Second)

A RELAXED GENTLEMAN’S CLUB DA I LY L U N C H S P E C I A L S POOL, FOOSBALL & GAMES

COVER EVER!

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A weekly video series highlighting the BEST things to do in SLC. ...............................

WEDNESDAY 7/10

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Karaoke (Highlander Club) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Wesley Snipes (Club 90) Karaoke (Union Tavern)

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The Avett Brothers (Usana Amphitheatre) Beautiful Dreamer Trio (Gallivan Center) Big Band Tuesdays feat. Phoenix Jazz & Swing Band (Gallivan Center) Boondox + Young Wicked + YT (Liquid Joe’s) Daniel Torriente (The Spur) Harry and the Potters (Kilby Court) Sauce It + Tony Oros (Lake Effect) see p. 30 Shanghai Beach + Child of Night + Glume (Urban Lounge) see p. 34 Whistling Rufus (Sugar House Coffee)

KARAOKE

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42 | JULY 4, 2019

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FILM REVIEW

Fun Size

CINEMA

Spider-Man: Far From Home almost lets big ideas overwhelm charming comedy.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

MARVEL STUDIOS/SONY PICTURES

Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal in Spider-Man: Far From Home post-Endgame position at every opportunity—this movie might as well have been called Spider-Man: Tony Stark Sure Was Awesome, Wasn’t He?—and to serve the Marvel brand as a summer blockbuster. If there’s a story to be told in the super-hero universe about how we respond to demagoguery, this one probably ain’t it. This is, however, pretty satisfying when it leans into human comedy, along the lines of the more light-hearted, lower-stakes MCU efforts like Ant-Man; if nothing else, it’s delightful watching Peter trying to wrap his brain around a possible romance between his Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) and Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau). There’s no way this movie can compete with the near-perfection of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 when it comes to exploring the tension between heroic duty and personal happiness, but that’s an awfully high bar. While Peter might understand his great power and his great responsibility, we just want to see him have fun. CW

SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME

BBB Tom Holland Jake Gyllenhaal Zendaya PG-13

| CITY WEEKLY |

PAIRS WITH Ant-Man (2015) Paul Rudd Michael Douglas PG-13

Captain America: Civil War (2016) Chris Evans Robert Downey Jr. PG-13

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Tom Holland Michael Keaton PG-13

JULY 4, 2019 | 43

Spider-Man 2 (2004) Tobey Maguire Kirsten Dunst PG-13

Far From Home is at its most engaging, continuing the John Hughes-ian teen comedy vibe that energized Spider-Man: Homecoming. Holland remains a winningly awkward presence when he’s playing Peter, a nice guy trying to figure out if his moral code allows him to put getting the girl ahead of saving the world. That’s a choice it appears he’ll have to make when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) appears and requires Spider-Man’s assistance. It seems that a warrior called Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal) has made his way to our dimension from an alternate reality, trying to save us from the threat of monstrous Elementals that have already destroyed his version of Earth. Gyllenhaal brings a satisfying charisma to the role of a character who has to stroll around in a purple cape wearing a globe full of green gas on his head, but the action sequences are where the Marvel movies often tend to lose sight of their distinctive components in favor of generic spectacle. At a certain point, a battle between someone in tights and a giant magma beast or a living waterspout starts to feel like something you saw just a few months ago. It gets even clunkier when it begins to feel that Far From Home is trying to get topical on us, inserting pointed references to fake news and to the notion that people are easily duped into believing that there’s a threat from which they need protecting. That’s a lot of weight for a movie that already feels obliged to reference its

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

hen we first met Tom Holland’s incarnation of Peter Parker—recruited by Tony Stark in Captain America: Civil War—he was already deep into the philosophy of what it means to be a superhero. “When you can do the things that I can,” he tells Stark, “but you don’t, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.” It’s a wordier version of the oft-quoted sentiment that has always undergirded the Spider-Man mythology— “With great power comes great responsibility”—and it’s a big part of what Peter is wrestling with in Spider-Man: Far From Home. He’s just a 16-year-old kid, who wants to do the things most 16-year-old kids get to do: fall in love, hang out with friends, etc. How do you balance fate-of-the-world stuff with, you know, having fun? As it happens, that’s the same question director Jon Watts has to wrestle with in making Far From Home a de facto epilogue to Avengers: Endgame. He and his screenwriters have to set up the world with the returning half of humanity previously erased by Thanos in a way that inspires more mirth than pathos—a high school band suddenly materializing in the middle of the gym during a basketball game—lest this whole thing be bogged down in angst and the logistics of how all of these people are still high school classmates when some of them have lived an additional five years. The expository intro, in the form of a clumsily sincere “In Memoriam” video to the deceased Avengers and morning announcements at Peter’s high school, amounts to a plea that we move along, nothing to see here. And it’s easy enough to comply, as the focus falls on Peter and his closest cohorts— best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon), thus-far-unrequited crush MJ (Zendaya), et. al.—taking a school-sponsored trip to Europe. Peter has a meticulously-crafted plan for making his romantic move on MJ, and it’s here that

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

44 | JULY 4, 2019

CINEMA CLIPS MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

SPECIAL SCREENINGS BLACK DYNAMITE At Tower Theater, July 5-6, 11 p.m. & July 7, noon. (R) CAPTURE THE FLAG At Park City Library, July 9, 6:30 p.m. (NR)

Film release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net

THE GREAT HACK At Rose Wagner Center, July 10, 7 p.m. (NR)

MIDSOMMAR BBB Writer-director Ari Aster follows up Hereditary with another story that places mental health issues in the framework of contemporary horror, with sporadically compelling results. In the wake of a horrible family tragedy, Dani (Florence Pugh) accompanies her boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor) and his friends to the Swedish pagan commune where one of those friends grew up, and which is preparing to conduct several midsummer rituals. Some of those rituals, not surprisingly, turn deeply disturbing—trigger warnings, everyone—though Aster leavens some of them with a mordant sense of humor. But while the slow burn of the scenario leans way too hard into the “slow” part over nearly 150 minutes, Aster does deliver more than a re-hash of The Wicker Man. In part it’s a way-too-obvious story of a disintegrating romantic relationship, though Pugh captures something awkwardly honest in Dani’s apologetic emotional fragility. It’s much better at juxtaposing a belief system based on natural cycles of life with the anxiety of modernity and the attraction of finding real connection. These characters find themselves in a scary world, but maybe not even as scary as the one they call home. Opens July 3 at theaters valleywide. (R)—Scott Renshaw

RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET At Gateway Legacy Plaza, July 10, dusk. (PG)

SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME BBB See review on p. 43. Opens July 2 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

THE RIVER AND THE WALL At Main Library, July 9, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES ANNABELLE COMES HOME BB.5 If you didn’t already know the Conjuring series and its Annabelle spin-offs, there’s an effective pre-credits sequence in which Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) give an expository recap of scary doll Annabelle’s purpose: To steal a human soul for a demon to eat, or something. Ed and Lorraine leave their daughter (Mckenna Grace) in the care of Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman), whose friend crashes the goings-on to use an evil artifact from the Warrens’ trophy room to contact her dead father. Naturally Annabelle escapes, and a demon hell-raisin’ follows. It’s intensely creepy for about 45 minutes, until jump scares and blown lights kick in, and it downshifts to mediocre horror. The filmmakers are good at making shadows, smoke and mirrors freaky, but this time they phoned it in (literally, in some places). Annabelle deserves better. (R)—David Riedel CHILD’S PLAY BB.5 There’s nothing sacred about the 1988 Chucky origin story, but why call this movie Child’s Play? This remake does include a kid

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named Alex (Gabriel Bateman) who receives a gift from his single mom (Aubrey Plaza) in the form of a large, creepy doll (voiced by Mark Hamill). But instead of being possessed by a serial killer, this Chucky is a malfunctioning “smart toy” that’s homicidally attached to Andy. The prologue promises something more savagely satirical about modern consumerism than the movie delivers, as it dabbles in modern technology anxieties. And despite a few creatively bloody death scenes in the scream and chuckle spirit of the original films, it’s just weird seeing the demented villain doll we know and love turned into an almost-sympathetic mix of A.I.’s David, 2001’s HAL 9000 and an Alexa. (R)—SR OPHELIA BB.5 A story like something generated by an algorithm specifically intended to infuriate a subreddit of Hamlet-loving men’s rights activists, it follows Ophelia (Daisy Ridley) from motherless tomboy to lady in waiting for Queen Gertrude (Naomi Watts), and her romance with Prince Hamlet (George MacKay). Semi Chellas’ script provides a passable imitation of Shakespearean wordplay for 40 minutes, which makes it odd that she then chooses prosaic interpretations of famous lines. But the focus remains firmly on the story’s women, altering key plot points to provide a perspective on characters whose societal roles are limited by gender, class and age. It could have played out as tobe-woke-or-not-to-be-woke stuff, but fortunately Ridley and Watts bring earnest performances to director Claire McCarthy’s well-crafted production. There’s some insight paired with a thumb in the eye to those who resist revisionism. (PG-13)—SR THE OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN 2: FIRE OF FAITH BB.5 Writer-director Mitch Davis returns to the memoirs of John Groberg (Christopher Gorham), as he brings his wife Jean (Natalie Medlock) to his old mission ground in Samoa when he’s called to be mission president. Moral instruction is the central goal here—it’s the kind of movie where someone who is doing bad things is literally punished by a bolt of lightning—but it’s still frustrating that Groberg is such a saintly protagonist. Still, while the central drama comes from not one but two life-or-death medical crises, Fire of Faith pivots around the local Samoan Methodist minister (Ben Baker) dealing with his hatred for Mormons converting his people. Plentiful though the melodrama may be, there’s a potent humanity to a tale showing that hatred evolving and softening, and which suggests that miracles of love aren’t exclusive to any one faith. (PG)—SR TOY STORY 4 BBB.5 This is my truth: The first three Toy Story features are one story

told in more-or-less real time. So it’s disorienting to realize that, despite nine real-world years since Toy Story 3, the toys’ new owner Bonnie is still only beginning kindergarten, with Woody (Tom Hanks) leading an attempt to recover her new favorite, a googly-eyed spork called Forky (Tony Hale). Centering the story on a rescue operation places this film squarely in the series’ comfort zone, and the action is both exciting and silly while effectively integrating new characters. Yet there’s also something that’s just a touch off as Woody—previously a stand-in for Andy’s emotional life—here takes on more of a parental role. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that shift, TS4 is simultaneously delightful, and feels like it’s not part of the earlier installments’ cohesive perspective. (G)—SR

YESTERDAY BB One night, during a worldwide electrical blackout, struggling singer-songwriter Jack Malik (Himesh Patel) awakens from unconsciousness to realize that he’s the only person who knows about the Beatles—then proceeds to pass their compositions off as his own and become famous. Would “I Want to Hold Your Hand” really have the same impact, brand-new, in 2019 as it did in 1964? The Beatles’ songs exist in a bizarre vacuum here, excised from the environment in which they were born. Perhaps the weirdest thing is that it isn’t even an excuse for a revue of Beatles music. It’s all mostly a one-note running joke about how no one except Jack knows all those famous tunes, combined with a blah romance. It defangs the music we know and love so well, diminishing the meaning it has for so many of us. (PG-13)—MaryAnn Johanson

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian voice actor Tom Kenny has played the roles of over 1,500 cartoon characters, including SpongeBob SquarePants, Spyro the Dragon, Jake Spidermonkey, Commander Peepers, and Doctor Octopus. I propose that we make him your role model in the coming weeks. It will be a favorable time for you to show your versatility; to demonstrate how multifaceted you can be; to express various sides of your soulful personality. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo author Donald Miller reminds us that fear can have two very different purposes. On the one hand, it might be “a guide to keep us safe,” alerting us to situations that could be dangerous or abusive. On the other hand, fear might work as “a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” After studying your astrological indicators for the coming weeks, Leo, I have come to the conclusion that fear might serve both of those functions for you. Your challenge will be to discern between them; to know which situations are genuinely risky and which situations are daunting but promising. Here’s a hint that might help: trust your gut feelings more than your swirling fantasies.

adeptly with rumbling love and icy hot love and mostly sweet but also a bit sour love? Do you possess the resourcefulness and curiosity necessary to have fun with funny spiritual love and running-through-the-labyrinth love and unexpectedly catalytic love? Are you open-minded and open-hearted enough to make the most of brilliant shadowy love and unruly sensitive love and toughly graceful love? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I don’t endlessly champion the “no pain, no gain” theory of personal growth. My philosophy holds that we are at least as likely to learn valuable lessons from pleasurable and joyful experiences as we are from difficult and taxing struggles. Having said that, I also think it’s true that our suffering might lead us to treasure if we know how to work with it. According to my assessment, the coming weeks will bring one such opening for you. To help you cultivate the proper spirit, keep in mind the teaching of Aquarian theologian and author Henri Nouwen. He said that life’s gifts might be “hidden in the places that hurt most.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Japanese word “wabi-sabi” refers to an interesting or evocative imperfection in a work of art that makes it more beautiful than VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Why do flocks of geese fly in a V-formation? Because to do if it were merely perfect. “Duende” is a Spanish word referring to a so enhances the collective efficiency of their travel. Each bird work of art that gives its viewers the chills because it’s so emotiongenerates a current that supports the bird behind it. Let’s make ally rich and unpredictably soulful. In the coming weeks, I think this phenomenon one of your power metaphors for the coming that you will be a work of art with an abundance of these qualities. weeks. What would be the equivalent strategy for you and your Your wabi-sabi will give you the power to free yourself from the tribe or group as you seek to make your collaborative efforts oppressive pressures of seeking too much precision and purity. more dynamic and productive? Unforeseen help will augment Your duende can give you the courage you need to go further than you’ve ever dared in your quest for the love you really want. any actions you take in this regard.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini musician Paul Weller is famous in the U.K., though not so much elsewhere. According to the BBC, he is one of Britain’s “most revered music writers and performers.” To which I say: revered, maybe, but mentally healthy? Not so much. He bragged that he broke up his marriage with his wife Dee C. Lee because “things were going too well, we were too happy, too comfortable, everything seemed too nice.” He was afraid that “as a writer and an artist I might lose my edge.” Don’t you dare allow yourself to get infected with that perverse way of thinking, my dear Gemini. Please capitalize on your current CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Life will conspire to bring you a surge of love in the coming comfort and happiness. Use them to build your strength and resilience weeks—if you can handle it. Can you? Will you be able to deal for the months and years to come.

1. Actresses Butler and Somers 2. Harley-Davidson competitor 3. Greet the morning 4. Terre Haute sch. 5. Revolutionary Guevara 6. Penalized move in baseball 7. Org. in "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" 8. Sends a racy message to

49. Like some bagels and dips 50. Little shaver, to a Scot 53. What Pepsi and Coke engage in, from time to time 56. Speak indistinctly 57. Jennifer of "The King's Speech" 58. Tennis great Nadal, to fans 62. Touch lightly 63. Chowderhead

Last week’s answers

JULY 4, 2019 | 45

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Dear Sagittarius: I invite you to make a copy of the testimonial below and give it to anyone who is in a position to support your Noble Experiment. “To Whom It May Concern: I endorse this Soulful Sagittarius for the roles of monster-tamer, fun-locator, boredom-transcender, elation-inciter and mountaintop visionary. This adroit explorer is endowed with charming zeal, disarming candor and abundant generosity. If you need help in sparking your enthusiasm or galvanizing your drive to see the big picture, call on the expansive skills of this jaunty puzzle-solver.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Most American women couldn’t vote until 100 years ago. Women in Japan, France and Italy couldn’t vote until the 1940s. Universal suffrage has been a fundamental change in how society is structured. Similarly, same-sex marriage was opposed by vast majorities in most countries until 15 years ago, but has since become widely accepted. African American slavery lasted for hundreds of years before being delegitimized all over the Western world in the 19th century. Brazil, which hosted 40% of all kidnapped Africans, didn’t free its slaves until 1888. What would be the equivalent of such revolutionary transformations in your own personal life? According to my reading of the astrological omens, you have the power to make that happen during the next 12 months.

DOWN

9. Combo with an ice bucket and cocktail shaker 10. "What ____!" ("That's robbery!") 11. The U.S. Women's Open is part of it 12. Horticultural practice 13. So-called 18. Comic-Con attendee 22. Sci-fi flyers 24. Biblical name of ancient Syria 25. O. Henry's "The Gift of the ____" 29. Has to pay back 30. Sounds of laughter 32. Cal. neighbor 34. Thanksgiving side dish 36. Not level 37. DVR remote button 38. NYC home to Mondrian's "Broadway Boogie Woogie" 39. Chief 40. 1968 #1 hit with a four-minute coda 41. Rarely used golf club 44. Like a spot by the fire 45. ID such as 123-456789 47. Da's opposite 48. Like some tricky basketball passes

| COMMUNITY |

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In accordance with astrological rhythms, you are authorized to make the following declarations in the next two weeks: 1. “I refuse to participate further in this situation on the grounds that it might impinge on the expansiveness of my imagination.” 2. “I abstain from dealing with your skepticism on the grounds that doing so might discourage the flights of my imagination.” 3. “I reject these ideas, theories ,and beliefs on the grounds that they might pinch, squash, or deflate my imagination.” What I’m trying to tell you, Scorpio, is that it’s crucial for you to emancipate your imagination and authorize it to play uninhibitedly in the frontiers of possibilities.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): When the universe began 13.8 billion years ago, there were only four elements: mostly hydrogen and helium, plus tiny amounts of lithium and beryllium. Now there are 118 elements, including five that are key components of your body: oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. All of those were created by nuclear reactions blazing on the insides of stars that later died. So it’s literally true to say that much of your flesh and blood and bones and nerves originated at the hearts of stars. I invite you to meditate on that amazing fact. It’s a favorable time to muse on your origins and your ancestry; to ruminate about all the events that led to you being here today—including more recent decades, as well as the past 13.8 billion years.

1. ____ landslide 4. Some WMDs 9. Raft-making wood 14. Cold and damp 15. Pentagon, e.g. 16. Adrien of skin care fame 17. Grammy-winning pianist who once published a crossword in the New York Times 19. Brightest star in Orion 20. Viewpoint 21. Handbag designer who was known for her trademark black nylon purses 23. Aries 26. Abbr. in many an office address 27. Word aptly hidden in Instagram 28. She plays Dr. Cristina Yang in "Grey's Anatomy" 31. Character who was on a show about nyucking? 33. Retailer of livestock feed and farm supplies 35. Regretted 36. "Call Me by Your Name" actor 40. Table d'____ 42. Setting for several "Survivor" seasons 43. Makes into law 46. Wrecked ship of sitcomdom 51. "Affirmative" 52. Mexican mama bear 54. "Who's interested?" 55. German fashion designer whose real first name is Heidemarie 59. Peace Prize winner Wiesel 60. Range dividing Europe and Asia 61. Put-down that could aptly apply to 17-, 21-, 36- or 55-Across? 64. Coffee go-with 65. Sporty Italian autos, for short 66. "Based ____ true story" 67. Doorway 68. Gathers from the fields 69. Playwright Thomas who predated Shakespeare

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue,” mused Libra author Truman Capote. “That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.” That cynical formulation has more than a few grains of truth in it, I must admit. But I’m pleased to tell you that I suspect your experience in the coming weeks will be an exception to Capote’s rule. I think you have the potential to embark on a virtual binge of rich discussion and intriguing interplay with people who stimulate and educate and entertain you. Rise to the challenge!

ACROSS

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

TOOL

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

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5 Things to Do

We’re approaching the dog days of summer, so here are a few ideas to keep you busy: Lagoon: They’ve added a German beer garden. Sure, you have to actually sit in the biergarten to drink it, but hey, at least there’s beer to be found once again at the amusement park. A frothy mug was served at the Gaslight Restaurant there until the 1990s when the restaurant closed. If you camp overnight at the Lagoon campground, you can buy a cold one at the little store located within earshot of the roller coaster, and your group could always BYOB it to the park’s pavilions (with advance permission). During the 1800s, the Lagoon area was a swimming pond with a local dance hall and saloon and reportedly sold bootleg booze. Now it appears the amusement park is finally adulting. Dog-friendly hiking trails: Millcreek and City Creek Canyon are the only two canyons in the Salt Lake City area that allow dogs. Big Cottonwood doesn’t allow Fido off-leash but you can let your canine friends swim in Blood and Lackawaxen lakes off Guardsman Pass. If you and Spot want to get some walking and hiking in, check out the Mount Olympus Trail, Killyon Canyon at the top of Emigration Canyon, Dimple Dell Nature Park, Neff’s Canyon and Tanner Park. Rio Tinto Visitors Center: Six years ago, the visitors center at the top of one of the world’s largest open pit copper mines (that giant scar on the mountain in the southwest part of the Salt Lake Valley) started to slide into the pit. Now, the renamed Visitor Experience at the Bingham Canyon Mine is again open from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. through Oct 31. Check out kennecott.com to get a reservation, then drive up to the mine and park in designated lots to hop on a shuttle that runs every 30 minutes. There is a $5 fee. Pioneer Memorial Museum: If it’s hot, head inside. What I like to call “the hair museum” is located just west of the state capitol building at the top of Main Street. Victorians made jewelry out of human hair and I personally think the little museum smells a bit like old hair. It’s got some of the oddest and most unusual collections you’ll find, from original items of those migrating Mormon pioneers to a collection of rattlesnake rattles, bottles of teeth and Mormon money/currency. It’s free and open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. State capitol: If you head to the Pioneer Museum, go to the Capitol building, too. There are guided tours from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday and Wednesdays at 6 or 7 p.m. with reservations. You can also do a self-guided tour by picking up a brochure on the first floor at the east door. Free, of course … your tax dollars at work! n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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Niche Marketing Say you have a new baby. Say you’re overwhelmed with love and sleep deprivation, and say you’ve been auditioning names for months, to no avail. Future Perfect, a web startup, will happily accept your $350 fee to “email you a customized list of names,” plus 15 minutes of phone time with one of its consultants. “Working your way through thousands of alphabetized names can be a useful exercise for some,” the website explains, “but the lists we provide are personalized, hyper-curated and unique to each client’s specific criteria.” They’ll even help you name your pets! WABC reports that Future Perfect offers lessexpensive packages as well, such as a $100 “namestorming session.” Oops! As members of New Life Baptist Church in Advance, N.C., prepared to merge with a nearby congregation, they removed the handmade steeple from their building, intending to return it to church member Mike Brewer, who made it. But a passerby who saw the steeple at the curb on June 5 thought it was intended for garbage pickup and took it home, sparking a different kind of steeplechase, according to the Winston-Salem Journal. Church pastor Matthew Pope called it a clear misunderstanding: “The person assumed we were throwing it out. She ... didn’t want it to go to the dump.” The unwitting steeple thief saw a post about the missing structure on Facebook from Pope’s wife and returned the steeple five days after its disappearance.

n Hundreds of divers set a Guinness World Record on June 15 at Deerfield Beach, Fla., where they met to perform an underwater cleanup. Fox35 reported that 633 divers collected 9,000 pieces of debris on the ocean floor during the event, which was organized by Dixie Divers. The previous record, 615 divers, was set in the Red Sea of Egypt in 2015.

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n In the Colombian city of Buenaventura, violence and corruption are on the rise, and after the shocking June 1 murder of a 10-year-old girl, the local bishop devised a plan to purge the city of evil. Monsignor Ruben Dario Jaramillo Montoya will perform a mass exorcism, and to help him, he has enlisted the National Navy, which will fly a helicopter over the city to distribute holy water on its inhabitants. The ritual is scheduled in mid-July during annual patron saints festivities. “We want to ... see if we can exorcise, drive out these demons that are destroying the port,” the bishop told Caracol Radio.

Compelling Explanation You think you hate your job? Last year, in April, Eli Aldinger, now 23, told police officers in Bothell, Wash., he intentionally drove his Toyota Camry into two different groups of pedestrians in order to “get out of going to work.” Aldinger, who worked in food service at McMenamins Anderson School, first hit a woman who was crossing the street with her husband, admitting to police that he sped up to 35 or 40 mph so he could “hit her before she made it across the road,” reported the Bothell-Kenmore Reporter. A bit farther on, he swerved to hit another pedestrian—but declined to strike a third, believing that would have been “a bit excessive.” He stopped when he spotted a police car and told the officers he was looking forward to “spending a few years in a room.” On May 31, he got his wish: Aldinger will spend 14 years in prison for assault. Let the Buyer Beware Kerville Holness of Tamarac, Fla., thought he’d scored big when his $9,100 bid for a $177,000 villa in South Florida was accepted. The home was part of an online auction in March of properties that had been foreclosed on. Only later did he find out he paid thousands of dollars for a 1-foot-wide, 10-foot-long stretch of grass between two driveways. Now the first-time bidder wants Broward County to void the deal and return his money. “It’s deception,” Holness told the South Florida Sun Sentinel. “There was no demarcation to show you that it’s just a line going through (the villa duplex), even though they have the tools to show that.” Officials aren’t sure why the strip of land was put up for auction separately from the properties on either side of it, but they say they can’t refund Holness’ money. Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Last Wishes Laurence Pilgeram, who died in 2015 in California, paid Alcor Life Extension Foundation $120,000 to preserve his body indefinitely at minus 196 degrees Celsius in the hope of being brought back to life in the future. But a month after his death, his son, Kurt Pilgeram of Dutton, Mont., received a box containing his father’s ashes. The company sent all but the elder Pilgeram’s head, which is stored in liquid nitrogen at its facility in Arizona. “They chopped his head off, burned his body, put it in a box and sent it to my house,” Kurt told the Great Falls Tribune. He is suing Alcor for $1 million in damages and an apology—plus the return of his father’s head. “I want people to know what’s going on,” he said. For its part, Alcor says its contract was with Laurence Pilgeram and that it met that agreement. The company contends Kurt is trying to get the life insurance money that paid for Alcor’s services. The trial is expected to begin in 2020 in California.

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Bold Francesco Galdelli, 58, and Vanya Goffi, 45—otherwise known as the Italian Bonnie and Clyde—were arrested on June 15 at a luxury villa in Pattaya, Thailand, after years of avoiding Italian authorities for various scams and frauds. The Telegraph reported that Galdelli had confessed to posing as George Clooney and opening an online clothing business “to trick people into sending money.” The two would also sell fake Rolex watches online, sometimes sending packets of salt to their customers instead of wristwatches. Clooney testified against the couple in 2010, but they fled Italy before being arrested there. Galdelli was arrested in Thailand in 2014, but soon escaped after bribing prison guards. The pair will be returned to Italy for trial.

Bright Ideas A Domino’s pizza delivery driver in London was the unwitting victim of a prank on June 6 when he tried to deliver four large cheeseburger pizzas to Buckingham Palace, for “Elizabeth.” At the security gate, he was stopped by two armed police officers, who checked to make sure the queen had not, indeed, ordered the pies. “The next thing the copper said was, ‘Sorry, sir, Elizabeth is the name of the queen—and she lives at Buckingham Palace. I think someone is winding you up,” a source told The Sun. The original phone order had promised cash payment at delivery. Store manager Zsuzsanna Queiser said the “pizzas seemed to go down pretty well with the police officers on duty. Next time, Your Majesty.”

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Awesome! In Saint Petersburg, Russia, motor enthusiast Konstantin Zarutskiy unveiled his newest creation in early May: a Bentley Continental GT sedan refitted with heavy-duty rubber tank treads instead of regular tires. He calls the resulting vehicle “Ultratank” and is hoping to get permission from the local government to drive the car on city streets. Zarutskiy tells EuroNews his Ultratank is very easy to drive, although creating it took him seven months as he faced a number of technical challenges. We’d like to see him parallel park it.

Chutzpah German Instagram “influencers” Catalin Onc and Elena Engelhardt have faced a digital dressing-down after they set up a GoFundMe page requesting donations for a bike trip to Africa. They want to raise about 10,000 euros for the jaunt, but some people aren’t on board. Onc and Engelhardt live with Onc’s mother, who supports them by working at two jobs, The Independent reported. They posted on their Instagram page: “Some will just tell us to get jobs, like everyone else and stop begging. But when you have the impact we do on others’ life (sic), getting a job is not an option. A normal job at this point would be detrimental.” Commenters let loose on the couple: “Get a job and treat your mum, she shouldn’t be funding her grown son to wander the world like a lost boy.” And, “You’re not impacting anyone’s life, you are just a couple of freeloaders trying to get holidays paid for by mugs.”

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