City Weekly December 26, 2019

C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

THE YEAR IN

DEC. 26, 2019 | VOL. 36

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY OH, SNAP!

Thrills, spills and a protest or 15: We remember the year that’s passed in pictures.

Cover photo by Enrique Limón

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CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 16 A&E 22 DINE 27 MUSIC 37 CINEMA 38 COMMUNITY

JENNIFER GUZMÁN

Online contributor Fresh out of an internship with KSL, Guzmán hit the ground running with us with two back-to-back dispatches—one from the Homeless Persons’ Memorial Day vigil and another on the Temple Square takeover by ERA supporters. Read both now at cityweekly.net.

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NEWS

Candlelight vigil remembers homeless lives lost.

Your online guide to more than 2,000 bars and restaurants • Up-to-the-minute articles and blogs at cityweekly.net

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Cover story, Dec. 12, “No Garments Needed” Very interesting.

ALASDAIR EKPENYONG Via Facebook Sounds cold.

PATRICK R. JONES Via Facebook Religion can be used to justify anything. That’s why it should be treated like the cancer it is.

CHARLES PROWS Via Facebook Oh, the magic of warm and fuzzies to justify whatever crackpot shit people want to embrace.

JENNIFER GUEST BILLINGSLEY Via Facebook Nude yoga? A creeper’s wet dream sitting in the back of class. Next week, Twister?

ANDY WHITLOCK Via Facebook Do they sunbathe their balloon knot, too?

RYAN NORTHROP Via Facebook

News, Dec. 12, “Rebel Spirits”

Wrong target. The DABC is only following the laws written and enacted by the state Legislature. Why blame [them]?

C.J. SOUTHWORTH Via Facebook Oh, give me a break. Pot is now legal in Utah and 3.2% beer is now going away. If you can make a buck from it, they’re going to back it.

MARK JOHNSON Via Facebook It’s really just about control and money though, eh LDS church? Notice how their stance on marijuana has changed lately? Nonwhites in the priesthood?

Money! So hurry up, and legalize for recreational use. I’d like a dispensary to be as convenient as booze. @GRMPYOG Via Twitter

Because it’s immoral for a “person” to profit from something immoral. having the state make money is just fine. If you don’t get off your ass and vote for people who represent you, it’s your fault if you’re not happy at the system in place.

C. ROY PITCHER Via Facebook Good luck. As in, I honestly wish you luck and hope you can make a difference!

CASEY SMITH Via Facebook

Opinion, Dec. 12, “POTUS: ‘Hater-inChief’”

Michael, I just had the pleasure of reading your piece, and I just wanted to say thank you. Your choice of words accurately portrays what all we “resisters”—we few Americans left with reason—have been thinking and have been aching for someone to say, especially through the lies and brazen deception put on display by Republicans during these impeachment hearings.

So I say again: thank you.

JACOB M. STOUT, Midvale Donald and Melania doubtless have a prenup that leaves her with little if she leaves him. She is nothing, and has nothing, without him.

PAUL BROWN Via cityweekly.net Lost my readership with this hate piece, Hater Weekly.

DAVE ROSENFELD Via Facebook

This is exactly why Donald is winning. And you wonder why nobody believes the media.

Article was trash. There is no logic or proof. It’s all opinion.

BLAIR LEWIS. Via Instagram Editor Enrique Limón responds: The piece referenced was, in fact, an opinion piece.

Restaurant review, Dec. 12, Steyk Center

Alex, while I generally agree with your positive review of Steyk Center’s burgers, I simply can’t let your adoration of the bun pass without disagreement. After two bites, my Tav Burger completely obliterated the bun and ended up being one of the messiest eats I’ve had in recent memory. My dinner companion ended up eating his with a knife and fork. The flavor was great, but the process was a catastrophe. Not an experience either of us will rush to repeat. Good fries, but that bun still needs lots of work, and as we both recognize, the bun is integral to the experience, much like the tortilla to the burrito.

DUNCAN OSBORN Via CW comments I recommend the spicy chicken sandwich with a side of funeral potatoes topped with cheese, but it’s all delicious!

GIA BIANCA STEPHENS Via Facebook

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All Contents © 2019

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Contributors KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, KYLEE EHMANN, COLETTE A. FINNEY, GEOFF GRIFFIN, PETER HOLSLIN, CASEY KOLDEWYN, KELAN LYONS, PARKER S. MORTENSEN, NIC RENSHAW, MIKE RIEDEL, MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR., ALEX SPRINGER, LEE ZIMMERMAN

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OPINION

Fake News?

Prejudice Can Skew Coverage American newspapers and mass media may be referred to as the “free press,” but they are anything but free. While rabid Trump supporters have continuously howled accusations of “fake news,” they might actually have a point. After all, a) The news is not always necessarily correct; and b) News is predictably sorted by how much advertising it can sell or by the views of the media’s ownership. Unpopular but newsworthy stories often get buried. I am particularly disturbed, as a journalist, that the news is largely the de facto servant of advertising dollars and management’s opinions, instead of the balanced coverage it ought to be.

Case in point: Rainer Huck, Ph.D., retired engineer and a two-time unsuccessful candidate for Salt Lake City mayor, recently filed a lawsuit in federal court, claiming that the wholesale closure of public lands to motorized vehicles is highly discriminatory to certain groups of the population— namely, the elderly and disabled. He prepared a news release on July 29 that was sent to scores of Utah newspapers, which read, in part, “The American Public Lands Equal Access Lawsuit was filed in Federal District Court against the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) because the agency has systematically eliminated access—by virtue of excluding

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON, SR. motorized travel—for elderly, disabled, and handicapped persons …” The lawsuit seeks redress for generations of biased and discriminatory management practices. Huck noted that, during the past 40 years, the percentage of public lands previously open to motor vehicles has dropped from 95% to only 5%.

The lawsuit states: “Plaintiffs assert that all Americans, regardless of religion, age, race, health, strength, economic standing, and especially those who are handicapped or disabled, have constitutional and other legal rights to access public lands held under the jurisdiction of the BLM on a basis equal to those who have the strength and ability to travel by muscle power.”

To me, Huck’s news release was interesting and compelling, pointing out what can only be seen as built-in BLM discrimination against the elderly and disabled. Utah has fabulous natural beauty, but it belongs only to the young and strong; others are out of luck. Although the aged and infirm are generally considered to be inherently newsworthy, not one of Utah’s news organizations chose to run the story.

But, oops, another lawsuit, closely related to Huck’s news release, came along only a few days later. It got highly-visible coverage, plastered over dozens of newspapers and made its way into the evening news. The Salt Lake Tribune was among the organizations that covered the new suit filed by the environmental group Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA). It’s one of those groups that has faithfully barraged media with reasons why public lands should not be public, and particularly why motorized vehicles should be barred.

SUWA’s lawsuit, which is enjoined by other environmental watchdogs, accuses the BLM of improperly ending the 13-year closure of 5,400 acres surrounding Factory Butte (near Hanksville) to off-road vehicles. It asserts that

the BLM violated the law by not giving proper notice and opportunity to debate the re-opening, though the BLM claims the issues were thoroughly studied before the closure was rescinded.

The reality is that the problems of access need to be intelligently balanced with environmental concerns. In this case, SUWA argues that the Wright Fishhook Cactus deserves protection, and no off-road vehicles should be allowed. I hold the belief that, for the media to serve its public responsibility, both stories deserved coverage—rather than quashing one through an arbitrary pick-and-choose routine.

Reflecting on what appears to be visible prejudice of Utah’s news organizations, it’s easy to see why the public is suspicious of the media. For some reason, the ravings of rabid environmentalists are one of the trump cards for what gets printed and aired. My take is that a significant amount of environmentalist noise is merely specious grandstanding, and the areas being protected are often not nearly as vulnerable as the tree-huggers would have us believe.

The red rock country around Moab and Canyonlands is an excellent example of how motor vehicles don’t have to hurt the environment, and how the majority of motorized sightseers hold a responsible attitude toward the privilege of access. As for the aged and disabled, there is no alternative; either they will be able to enjoy these lands with the help of motorization, or they won’t at all.

The media should strive to regain trust as the “watchdog of our society,” and that means covering the news with an impartial and fair approach—not just those stories that please owners and stroke their partisan base. CW

The author is a former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and one mongrel dog. Send comments to comments@cityweekly.net

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HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

CITIZEN REV LT IN ONE WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

OK, Boomers

WHO DOESN’T NEED A HUG?

Wild Mismanagement

WRITE YOUR HEART OUT

Watch out, Utah. We’re about to see a baby boom—at least if you read between the lines. Yes, as hard as it is to believe, Utah’s fertility rate has taken a dive, and the Deseret News calls this front-page news. Utah demographer Pamela Perlich calls it a new era. It’s an era that’s hit the nation, too—four years in a row. There are many reasons, which The New York Times’ podcast The Argument discussed: Rising individualism, focus on careers, women seeking more egalitarian relationships, and a wariness of bringing children into a suffering world. In Utah, add a lower LDS missionary age for women, independence, rising costs and better education. No one knows how the LDS church will react, except that it does value large families. Still, the decline in births is not necessarily a bad thing. There are plenty of people on the planet.

In the world of land management and the era of Trumpism, there’s so much to worry about. Let’s start with wild horses and a compelling commentary in The Salt Lake Tribune by documentarian Ginger Kathrens. She calls out the Bureau of Land Management for its wild horse management plan. The BLM maintains that the horses are an existential threat to public lands. Kathrens says fertility control is a sham and there’s no way to monitor how the BLM will spend federal dollars on wild horse management. “It’s a diversionary tactic with the objective of distracting the public and Congress from the real threats to public lands: poorly regulated oil and gas drilling, mining, overgrazing by taxpayersubsidized cattle, the diversion of water resources for these activities and the administration’s gutting of environmental safeguards for wild lands and wildlife,” she writes. And now the EPA is allowing oil and gas wells to self-regulate. How’s that going to work?

The People Fight Back

It’s a herculean task, but Utahns have been known to climb those hurtles in the past. They passed three ballot initiatives in 2018 despite the best obstructionist efforts by the Legislature. Now, poverty and education advocates have set their sights on a referendum to derail the hastily passed tax reform law. The governor thinks the law is a great idea because state revenues are falling. But former Rep. Fred Cox and now, the United Utah Party, want him to think hard about the consequences. The clock is ticking even though they are about to submit the first batch of the required 115,000-plus signatures needed. Signatures have to come from 15 of the state’s 29 counties by Jan. 21. That’s just before the session begins, when lawmakers have been known to try to overturn those citizen initiatives.

This is not a joke. The HugTrain Stops in Salt Lake and its “HugMaster” Anton Zyngier is ready to mete out hugs, one at a time—starting really late on Christmas Day when the train rolls into the station.

“Study after study has shown that loneliness is causing premature deaths at similar levels to cigarettes and obesity. Not only is it a major risk factor for suicide and an important contributor to anxiety and depression but it also has significant effects on our cardiovascular health, our brain function and our immune systems to name just a few,” the event’s Facebook page says. So don’t be lonely.

Hug it out. And you might want to help fund the hugs through their GoFundMe campaign. Amtrak Station, 340 S. 600 West, Wednesday, Dec. 25, 11:05 p.m.Thursday, Dec. 26, 11:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2PFefLB

Got something that’s eating at your heart? Politics can be frustrating— unless you do something about it. Join activists for a bi-monthly rite of participation as they pen postcards to Utah members of Congress. Postcards for Democracy is a great way to make sure the issues you care about are getting to your representatives, that they know you are a serious constituent. It’s also nice to share your concerns with like-minded citizens. Salt Lake Indivisible will provide everything—postcards, pens, addresses, stamps—and even the issues. “All you need to do is show up, buy yourself a treat and join the party. Bring a friend, bring a family member; all are welcome!” the event’s Facebook page says. Armour Café SLC, 1329 S. 500 East, Sunday, Dec. 29, 2 p.m., free, bit.ly/35GevQf

SCAMMERS HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU

If you believe that, then you need to join other easy targets for a training on Password Management and Authentication. Teens, seniors and adults—everyone’s at risk in this state, known as the fraud capital of the United States. In fact, Utah came in sixth among all states for the most Ponzi schemes, according to ponzitracker.com. Once registered for this class, you’ll learn how to manage your passwords safely, how to use your phone to authenticate and how to be aware of online fraud, the event’s website says. Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Monday, Dec. 30, 5-6:30 p.m., free/ library card required, bit.ly/2sNlqZa

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

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PETER HOLSLIN

A LOOK AT THE PEOPLE, MOMENTS AND PROTESTS THAT SHAPED 2019.

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—Enrique Limón, Editor

O

h, what a year. From divisive national politics to homebred stories like the inland port debacle, a seemingly never-ending mayoral race and the arrival of high-point beer for all, 2019 left an enduring mark.

Following the swell of public outcry evidenced in our past photographic yearin-reviews, Salt Lake City residents continued to take to the streets to demand everything from equal rights to clean air for all and, in one case, the end of “traumatic” infant male circumcision. Other snaps included reflect some of the people and moments that our readership most identified with.

In the end, we chose 44 photographs that in their own unique way contributed to shape the past 365 days. Not bad for a scrappy weekly with no staff photographer.

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THE YEAR IN

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ENRIQUE LIMÓN

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PEOPLE 1. Jack Hedge, executive director of the Utah Inland Port, received a warm Utah welcome over the fall during his first public meeting. He promised to build the port “right, from the beginning,” with an attendee shouting, “Don’t build it at all!” as a response.

2. Former Salt Lake City Councilwoman Deeda Seed came out in vocal opposition to the inland port. “Today, we have development occurring on warehouses, possibly as much as 6 million square feet of new warehouse space, with no analysis of the air quality harms,” she said during October’s public meeting.

3. “It doesn’t make economic sense to raise

cattle and hay in Salt Lake City anymore,” rancher Dalon Hinckley, whose property borders the proposed inland port site, lamented. “There’s no tractor dealer. There’s no fertilizer salesman. Nothing’s close.”

4. When it comes to Beyoncé, Brooklyniteby-way-of-Logan’s Kevin Allred wrote the book—literally. His academic take on the diva can be found on Feminist Press’ Ain’t I a Diva?

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Headline-maker Stormy Daniels shared the following piece of advice for would-be porn performers during an “intimate evening” at Metro Music Hall: “Grandma’s going to see your butthole … This is going to ruin Christmas.”

Wiser words have never been spoken.

6. Utah County Commissioner Nathan Ivie knew coming out of the closet in 2019

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would have ramifications. “If we want to stop the systematic tide of socialism, the over-taxation of people, and the redistribution of wealth in this country, we need to set aside our prejudices against the LGBT community,” the Republican professed.

7. Dan Barker started Utahns Against the DABC with hopes of creating a grassroots campaign to promote more sensible drink-

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conceded to her fellow Democrat the following day.

11. While Salt Lake City’s crowded election might now be a thing of the past, the impression would-be mayor Rainer Huck left with his unique fashion sense is indelible.

12. Dubbed in a City Weekly cover story as “the unsinkable Shireen Ghorbani,” the

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Salt Lake County Democrat finally got her turn following two electoral defeats.

13. Self-proclaimed “Queen of Salt Lake” Wiltavious hams it up for the camera. The West Jordan rapper graced our Pride issue cover, later memorializing the occasion in the lyrics of his track “KTSE.” 14. Last December, City Weekly was the first outlet to report Jim Dabakis was

running for SLC mayor. After coasting through his campaign, the former state senator—considered a shoo-in by many insiders—didn’t make the primary cut. His Twitter bio now includes the line “current proud Citizen,” though it’s hard (and plain boring) to imagine the future local political landscape without him involved in one way or another.

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ing election.

9. Make way for Mayor Erin Mendenhall.

The two-term city councilwoman, chair of the state’s Air Quality Board and co-founder of Breathe Utah will take her oath of office on Jan. 6.

10. “This race isn’t over yet,” minority whip Luz Escamilla said on election night. With 9,744 yet-to-be-counted ballots, Escamilla

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ENRIQUE LIMÓN

ing laws. “We need to have somewhere where people can be in one place and show their voice,” he said. As of press time, the Facebook group had amassed more than 5,000 members.

8. With Gov. Gary Herbert not seeking reelection, would-be guvs are slowly coming out of the woodwork, laying the groundwork for what will certainly be an interest-

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MOMENTS 1. Valley View teacher Moana Patterson, center, makes an about-face after she wiped off one of her students’ foreheads on Ash Wednesday.

2. Salt Lake City mayoral candidates meet to discuss Muslim issues.

3. Magnolia Steele reads to children at The King’s English Bookshop.

4. Cindy and Bret Eborn, the couple behind

iconic downtown bookshop Eborn Books, pose in front of the mural located on the side of their now-shuttered shop.

5. Descendants of slave pioneer Green Flake take part in the Days of ’47 Parade.

6. David Hampshire, longtime resident of fabled enclave Allen Park, aka Hobbitville, looks out from his former home. Remaining residents were unceremoniously evicted in January.

7. Hello inversion, our old friend. The city’s dreaded annual visitor made its stop starting

in December, with some days reaching poisonous levels.

8. Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski and Rob Moolman, executive director of the Utah Pride Center, raise a rainbow flag outside city hall ahead of Pride Week celebrations.

9. Following a revelation, the LDS church reversed their policies on the children of LGBTQ parents in April.

10. First e-scooters and then bikes. Motorized mobility devices continued to litter SLC side-

walks, which the city launched an online questionnaire to gauge residents’ opinions on them.

11. Marie Micheline and Joseph Ernst Montfleury hold up a family portrait taken during happier times inside their Orem home. At the time, their eldest son, Mackenley, was held in a Colorado detention facility, where he remained in immigration limbo.

12. A flyer in downtown Salt Lake City features missing person Mackenzie Lueck. The U student was found dead in June.

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13. Flanked by CW editor Enrique Limón, and another famous Jackie, drag superstar Jackie Beat, Mayor Jackie Biskupski proclaims this publication a “community asset” during the 10th annual Miss City Weekly.

14. Mitt Romney calls himself a “renegade Republican” during a visit with Democratic lawmakers at the Capitol.

15. Fearing a deadly temperature dip, activists call for The Road Home to remain open through spring.

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quest the deferral of parcels in the BLM’s oil and gas lease sale that month.

10. Tensions over the inland port turned confrontational when police and activists lost their cool during a demonstration at the Chamber of Commerce building.

11. Ahead of the annual Pride events in June, activists held a rally at the Capitol to raise awareness of the goal behind Pride festivals around the country.

12. Those with the organization Abortion-Free Utah gathered at the Capitol to support Sen. Daniel McCay’s plan to propose a law in the

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“Womxn’s March” to emphasize inclusivity.

7. “Blood Stained Men” held demonstrations around the West, including Utah, protesting alleged harms that come from infant male circumcision.

8. During this year’s Legislative session, the Native American delegation honored the memory of murdered and missing indigenous women and LGBTQ individuals. Salt Lake City is among the Top 10 for murdered and missing indigenous women.

9. Students gathered outside Gov. Gary Herbert’s office in March asking him to re-

2020 session that would end elective abortions.

13. Ermiya Fanaeian speaks outside the state House chambers in support of trans rights and awareness.

14. Demonstrators marched to the Capitol to denounce rape culture and sexual violence in the wake of Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings.

15. Activists in support of protecting wild horses on Bureau of Land Managementowned land gather at the Capitol to raise awareness for the program’s management, or lack thereof. CW

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Ninety-two homeless people died on Utah streets in 2019.

4. Aiming for more equitable and affordable housing, activists gathered before a city council meeting in April asking for more to be done for “housing justice.”

5. Hundreds gathered outside the Wallace F. Bennett Federal Building downtown on the eve of the U.S. House of Representatives’ vote to impeach President Donald Trump.

6. An estimated 2,000 people marched on State Street to the Capitol in January for the annual Women’s March, this time dubbed the

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1. Carolers took over Temple Square in December to protest The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ opposition to ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment.

2. Activists blocked off streets around the Capitol in September in hopes of asking the governor and other leaders to declare a climate emergency.

3. A group gathered at the annual vigil remembering homeless lives lost in Utah asking for more to be done to solve the crisis.

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ISAIAH PORITZ

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ISAIAH PORITZ

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KELAN LYONS

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ISAIAH PORITZ

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RAY HOWZE

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RAY HOWZE

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JENNIFER GUZMÁN

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ENRIQUE LIMÓN

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16 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

Cirque Musica: Holiday Wishes Offering an electrifying fusion of thrilling theatrics and live holiday music, Holiday Wishes—presented by world-renowned Cirque Musica—could be the gift that keeps giving. “We really like creating memories for families,” Stephen Cook, creator and producer for Cirque Musica, says. “It is what we do.”

Attendees will experience a show filled with some of the world’s greatest circus performers, fearless acrobats and hilarious hijinks, topped off with charming holiday cheer by a full symphony orchestra. A sensory extravaganza, Holiday Wishes takes audiences on a journey of dazzling beauty and mystery performed at a high level of creativity.

Putting on a production of this magnitude relies on hard workers to bring it to life. “We change venues every day, travel 100-500 miles per night, load in, rehearse, show and load out in same day, etc.,” Cook says. “It is a lot, but we have a great cast and crew that love what they do and want to put on the absolute best show they can for the audience.”

Cook was inspired to create a show combining live music and visual entertainment after working with the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus as well as the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. There is no doubt this event will leave family members leaping for joy during this merry month. “At the end of every show we, have the cast come out to the lobby and meet the audience as they leave,” Cook adds. “Everyone is talking and taking pictures and it really is a great way to end the evening.” (Colette A. Finney) Cirque Musica: Holiday Wishes @ Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 801-325-2000, Dec. 27, 7:30 p.m., $32$62, cirquemusica.com

KOVERT CREATIVE

20th CENTURY FOX

TRACEY BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

FRIDAY 12/27

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

KELI HIATT ANDERSON

ESSENTIALS

the

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, DEC. 26, 2019—JAN. 1, 2020

SATURDAY 12/28

SATURDAY 12/28

TUESDAY 12/31

Ogden’s Peery’s Egyptian Theater is offering a chance for Utahns to run away and join the circus, if only for a few hours, with their upcoming screening of a sing-along version of The Greatest Showman.

For the second year in a row, lovers of the film are invited to sit beneath the faux-starry night of the theater’s ceiling and belt out the musical’s catchy tunes like “This Is Me” and “The Other Side.” Attendees are also encouraged to show up in their best circus-inspired outfits, whatever that means to them.

With its whimsical, but, inaccurate take on history, The Greatest Showman stormed into viewers hearts’ and minds when it premiered two years ago. The musical follows an idealized version of the carnival showman P.T. Barnum (Hugh Jackman), his quest to create an entertainment extravaganza and the misfits he uses to do so using uplifting and pop music-style songs.

If you somehow missed the movie on its first run, but still want to experience a night out with your fellow theater nerds, you’re in luck. The theater will be screening a version of the film with the words appearing on the screen so audience members can sing along. While tickets are available up to one hour prior to the show, organizers noted that the event sold out last year and will likely sell out again. (Kylee Ehmann) The Greatest Showman Sing-Along @ Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., 801-689-8700, Dec. 28, 2 p.m., $6, egyptiantheaterogden.com

For Utah native comedian Joshua T. Fonokalafi, self-deprecation is a fundamental part of his stage persona. But he also remembers that being too self-critical almost kept him from trying his first open mic in 2009. “I almost backed out,” Fonokalafi recalls. “I wrote the three best jokes I could possibly think of. I just wrote the stupidest stuff. Even to this day, I repeat in my head, ‘You only have stupid jokes.’”

Local audiences seem to disagree, as Fonokalafi has built a 10-year career with gags poking good-natured fun at his ample frame and his Pacific Islander heritage. He has had to shift the focus of some of his jokes more recently, as references to being a doofus single guy became outdated when he got married. “When you start comedy, you crack your brain open and see all the stuff inside it and pick at it,” he says. “After getting married, that’s like another head inside your head to crack open. … I see my comedy evolving because of my life.”

What hasn’t evolved is the sense that Fonokalafi is doing what he was born to do. He was even willing to risk the opposition of his father, when he remembers “coming out of the comedy closet” and having his dad tell him he was wasting his time. Only two years after he started was he able to get his father to come see a show, and turn him into a fan. “Dad said, ‘I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t open my eyes,’” Fonokalafi says. “‘You have to keep doing this.

You can’t stop.’” (Scott Renshaw) Joshua T. Fonokalafi @ Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, 801-463-2909, Dec. 28, 8 p.m., $15, wiseguyscomedy.com

The idea of “working blue” is certainly nothing new in stand-up comedy, and the stereotype of female comics constantly talking about sex dates back decades. So it’s no mean feat that Nikki Glaser has managed to build her entire career around discussing risqué topics in a way that feels genuinely fresh and unique. The 35-year-old comedian has shown an impressive willingness to veer off into any and every aspect of sexuality—from broader fare like first boyfriends and porn habits, to more unusual topics like the perils of sodomy and the oddly familiar shape of diaphragms.

This fearlessness in the face of filth paid off in a big way with Glaser’s 2016 series Not Safe w/ Nikki Glaser, a sort of X-rated Bill Nye Saves the World that used Glaser’s comedy as a vector to explore and educate on topics like male enhancement pills, sex work and open relationships.

Despite being a compassionate, surprisingly informative and side-splittingly hilarious look at sex in the modern age, Not Safe only made it a scant one season and 20 episodes before being shafted by Comedy Central, and the prospect of new installments of “Tinder Tapout” or “What’s Your Number?” anytime soon seems unlikely.

Since Not Safe’s cancellation, Glaser has kept busy, hosting the daily radio talk show You Up?, in addition to maintaining an active social media presence and regularly performing stand-up on and off television. She’s currently slated for a feature in Season 2 of the Netflix comedy showcase series The Degenerates, as well as a live performance at Salt Lake’s own Wiseguys comedy club on New Year’s Eve. (Nic Renshaw) Nikki Glaser @ Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Dec. 31, 7 & 9:30 p.m., $35, wiseguyscomedy.com

The Greatest Showman Sing-Along

Joshua T. Fonokalafi

Nikki Glaser

How to ring in 2020 with revelers of all ages.

BY GEOFF GRIFFIN comments@cityweekly.net

W

hen it comes to New Year’s Eve, celebrants can be sorted into two very distinct groups looking to get completely different things out of the night. The first is people without kids—or people who booked a babysitter far enough in advance that they don’t have to worry about their kids on New Year’s Eve. The second is people who need to entertain their kids in some way while ringing in a new collection of 365 days.

The first group tries to carry on the celebration as late as possible without any seri-

DAVID NEWKIRK PHOTOGRAPHY

Last Hurrah! at The Gateway (3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-7682300, thanksgivingpoint.org): The night will be doubly bright as guests are encouraged to dress in neon to attend balloon drops at 10 p.m. and midnight to ring in 2020 at the Museum of Natural Curiosity.

Partygoers will also be able to dance to a live DJ and explore the museum exhibits.

Snowbird Torchlight Parade and Fireworks (9385 S. Snowbird Center Drive, 800-232-9542, snowbird.com): The Plaza Deck at Snowbird Center offers beautiful views of the mountain ski runs. It becomes even more stunning at 6 p.m. on Dec. 31, when dusk arrives and skiers come down the mountain in a torchlight parade followed by a fireworks show. Making the setting even more perfect is the presence of fire pits and hot cocoa. After the parade and fireworks, the evening can continue at Snowbird’s restaurants, which are featuring special menus­­. CW

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 17

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from your friends & family at Toasters

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Planetarium.

Noon Year’s Eve at Natural History Museum of Utah (301 Wakara Way, 801-581-4303, nhmu.utah.edu) and Loveland Living Planet Aquarium (12033 Lone Peak Parkway, Draper, 801-355-3474, thelivingplanet.com): Both the museum and aquarium will count down until the magic hour of 12—but in this case, it will be noon. The museum features activities and music while the aquarium offers a live DJ and prize giveaways. Either way, there’ll be an explosion of confetti at 12 sharp.

15th Annual New Year’s Eve Powwow presented by Native American Events at Mountain America Exposition Center (9475 S. State, Sandy, eventbrite.com): Native American Events invites natives and non-natives to this annual social powwow in Sandy that runs from 6 p.m.-midnight.

After the Grand Entry at 6 p.m., the night will feature food, arts and crafts, including a booth with Navajo tacos, frybread, Navajo burgers and stew.

Thanksgiving Point Night Bright

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Games at Last Hurrah! at The Gateway

DAVID NEWKIRK PHOTOGRAPHY

A Family New Year

ous injuries or other adverse consequences.

The second tries to wrap up the celebration as early as possible without any serious injuries or other adverse consequences. This publication is full of content catering to the needs of the first group. So as a public service, City Weekly also offers the following list of family-friendly activities for those ringing in the New Year with people who aren’t usually allowed to stay up past 9 p.m.

Hogle Zoo Early New Year’s Countdown (2600 Sunnyside Ave., 801-584-1700, hoglezoo.org): Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been a parent to kids who aren’t yet old enough to know the difference, when the East Coast feed of the ball drop at Times Square comes on at 10 p.m. MST, you tell those unsuspecting youngsters that it’s now the New Year, and send them to bed before they get any crankier. Hogle Zoo is ready to do you one hour better. The festive ZooLights exhibition opens at 5:30 p.m. on Dec. 31, along with a special countdown display that will ring in 2020 at 9 p.m. local time, complete with complimentary noisemakers.

New Year’s Eve on Temple Square (50 W. North Temple, 801-531-1000, templesquare.com): The lights at Temple Square are always a popular spot leading up to Christmas, but the very center of downtown will also host a variety of events that are free to the public with no tickets or passes required on Dec. 31. Five different musical performances will take place between 6-9 p.m. in three different settings. The list includes a family sing-along of Broadway and movie tunes in the Assembly Hall, Latino performers celebrating the New Year in a program called “Fiesta!” in the Tabernacle, and Stratford Street Big Band playing dance tunes in the lobby of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

Last Hurrah! at The Gateway (400 W. 100 South, 801-456-0000, shopthegateway.com): Another downtown destination for evening fun is at The Gateway’s Last Hurrah! from 8 p.m.-midnight. Live music is on tap all evening on multiple outdoor stages, while dining and drinks are available at food trucks and pop-up bars. Kids’ activities include free karaoke at Dave & Buster’s, a chance to make your own noisemaker at Discovery Gateway Children’s Museum and extra shows at Clark

A&E

moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

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JESSE HOWELL

Homebred showgirl Gia Bianca Stephens and a bevy of local talent give you a little bit of pre NYE glam on Sunday during the Quorum of the Queens drag brunch at Tabernacle Social Club (201 E. 300 South, tavernacle.com)

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PERFORMANCE THEATER

A Christmas Carol Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Dec. 26, dates and times vary, hct.org The Greatest Showman Sing-Along, Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Dec. 28, 2 p.m., egyptiantheaterogden.com (see p. 16) Pete the Cat Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Dec. 30, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org Seussical Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Jan. 18, dates and times vary, hct.org

DANCE

Ballet West: The Nutcracker Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, through Dec. 26, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org Cirque Musica: Holiday Wishes, Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W. South Temple, Dec. 27, 7:30 p.m., cirquemusica.com (see p. 16) Imagine Ballet Theatre: The Nutcracker

Ballet Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden, through Dec. 28, dates and times vary, smithtix.com Thank You Theobromine The Chocolate Conspiracy, 774 S. 300 West, through Jan. 5, dates and times vary, thankyoutheo.com

COMEDY & IMPROV

Christopher Titus Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Dec. 31, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Ivan Decker Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 30, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Joshua T. Fonokalafi Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Dec. 28, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 16) Marcus & Guy Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Dec. 27-28, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Nikki Glaser Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 31, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 16) Random Tangent Improv Comedy Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Saturdays, 10 p.m., randomtangentimprov.org Sam Poulter Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 29, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

Steve Rannazzisi Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 27-28, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Steve Soelberg Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com TJ Miller Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 26, 7 p.m.; Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Dec. 27, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

SPECIAL EVENTS LGBTQ

Quorum of the Queens The Tabernacle, 201 E. 300 South, Sunday, Dec. 29 at noon, tavernacle.com (see p. 18)

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Hogle Zoo Early New Year’s Countdown Hogle Zoo, 2600 E. Sunnyside Ave., 5:30-9 p.m., Dec. 31, hoglezoo.org (see p. 17) Last Hurrah! at The Gateway The Gateway, 400 W. 100 South, 8 p.m.-midnight, Dec. 31, shopthegateway.com (see p. 17) New Year’s Eve Powwow Mountain America

Expo Center, 9475 S. State, Sandy, 6 p.m.midnight, Dec. 31, eventbrite.com (see p. 17) New Year’s Eve on Temple Square multiple locations, 50 W. North Temple, 6-9 p.m., Dec. 31, templesquare.com (see p. 17) Snowbird Torchlight Parade and Fireworks Snowbird, 9385 S. Snowbird Center Drive, 6 p.m., Dec. 31, snowbird.com (see p. 17) Thanksgiving Point Night Bright Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 8 p.m., Dec. 31, thanksgivingpoint.org (see p. 17)

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Abstraction Is Just a Word, But I Use It UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 4, utahmoca.org A Living Legacy: Celebrating Native American Heritage Month Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through Jan. 10, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Connie Borup Holladay City Hall, 4580 S. 2300 East, Holladay, through Jan. 31, holladayarts.org

THE NATIONAL KETAMINE-DEPRESSION DILEMMA

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DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 19

Robert C. Hiemstra M.D. Ketamine for Depression SLC 385•474•6946 At this moment in history, psychiatry is at a major crossroads in its approach to mental health.

For the past 20 years psychiatry has been battling opponents, suppressing superior agents and generally trying to define a place for itself in a world that has changed in ways that it simply hadn’t predicted. For psychiatry, the focus of that change has been the steady intrusion of ketamine into its confused world of SSRI and SNRI-treated depression. This is a world defined by attachment to money generated by SSRIs that are in turn being defined by the phenomenally effective antidepressant ketamine.

But this is much more than a battle of brands. The huge monies involved are rivaled in importance only by the massive population affected. And this story is not simply one of large numbers.

There is a horrible epidemic going on that is only barely being recognized, let alone defined.

Every segment of the population is seeing an increase in anxiety and depression, and in our teen population - the xGens - the percentage of the involved population may be massive. In my office I query every teen with questions relating to how many of their peers are afflicted. The estimates are seldom below 50% and oftentimes reach up to 90%. These are not professionals, but depression of this variety is hard to hide. In any case, it would seem to deserve far more attention than it is getting, if for no other reason than to settle the public.

Is psychiatry even looking? Of course, they must be, but with the look-the-other-way response that they’ve given to the miracle cures of ketamine - a product that they know works – mustn’t we ask, “Is there a monied interest prompting you, psychiatry, to look in some other direction while whatever it is that is this dark, malignant, and as yet undefined Pied Piper gobbles our children?”

This question of abandonment of one’s medical charge by an entire medical specialty is the topic of an incredibly jarring and disquieting article in the October 31, 2019 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, the world’s most prestigious medical journal. I very literally gasped as I read the article, undoubtedly a product of my near miss in almost selecting psychiatry as a specialty more than 40 years ago.

The article makes the claim that “over the past half-century, biologic research has come to largely replace all other forms of psychiatric research - psychosocial, cultural, public health, and community - which have just been marginalized in spite of the useful knowledge these fields provide for everyday care of patients in prevention of mental illness... Biologic knowledge is foundational to good psychiatry, but we believe that misapprehension of its limitations stunting the field from within and subjecting it to manipulation from without by corporate administrative interests that, intentionally or not, strive to benefit from a falsely simplified, deterministic formulation of mental illness and its treatment.”

The article quotes historian Anne Harrington proposing that “psychiatry limit its scope to severe, mostly psychotic disorders. ‘Make no mistake, today one is hard-pressed to find anyone knowledgeable who believes that the so-called biological revolution of the 1980s made good on most or even any of its therapeutic and scientific promises.’”

On every level, this is big stuff. There are violations of Hippocratic oaths buzzing around the heads of the majority of mental health patients in America.

Shouldn’t these loud, obtrusive, and endlessly hurtful violations be not only resisted, but pointed out? If I keep quiet about the ongoing, constant, negative consequence of continuing to use SSRIs as first-order drugs, aren’t I also guilty?

I think so.

And don’t forget, that Pied Piper feasting on our/your kids.

20 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

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Twas

the night before Christmas

When all through the state,

Not a bartender was stirring, Past 1 o’clock is too late; The shelves were stocked At the DABC with care,

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In hopes that whiskey lovers soon would be there…

holiday gathering. For a gift that makes you want to “steal” your own present, the

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unique Writers’ Tears Copper Pot is a no brainer.

Friend and family gift swapping White Elephant parties—or Dirty Santa or Thieving Elves in some circles—are too saturated with gag gifts and unusable items. That potty putter golf game might look fun for a trip to the loo or two, but we all know that the box remain unopened and will be redistributed at the next

Distilled entirely from Pot Still and Malt, without grain, it’s true to Irish whiskey form. Writers’ Tears is triple distilled, non-peated and matured and aged in American Oak bourbon casks. The whiskey has won numerous international awards, including a top finish at the International Spirits Challenge in London and has been added to Ian Buxton’s publication 101 Whiskeys to try before you die. base. The palate is gently spiced with a burst of ginger and butterscotch with a background notes of toasted oak, with a finish of subtle notes of milk chocolate and almonds. The actual writers and journalists in today’s society will note the whiskey’s 40% APV.

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DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 21

For whiskey aficionados, the nose has flashes of apple with hints of and honey over a distinctively pot still

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22 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

Best Dishes

A look back on the best eats of 2019.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

The Sur 39 at Big Tortas

Throughout our lives, we experience different variations of defeat. There are drubbings that leave us despondent and doubtful—which sucks. But there are also those that leave us baffled in a way that can only be assuaged through laughter. My defeat at the hands of Big Tortas’ Sur 39 ($11.75, pictured) falls hilariously in the latter category. I willingly went toe-to-toe with this monster because I could tell it was the biggest and baddest torta on the menu, and I arrogantly thought I could shut it down. I was able to devour half of this monster— which consists of grilled steak, ham, ba-

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

S

ince there are 52 weeks in a year, 2019 saw me eat my way through that many different restaurants in the line of duty. Factor in the extra legwork needed for City Weekly’s annual Dining Guide, Summer Guide and Best of Utah, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that number was closer to 75 or 80. It’s a tough job, but you’re worth it, dear reader.

I’m bringing this up at the year’s end not (entirely) to boast, but to put things in perspective. Delicious, vibrant, diverse and entertaining as our ever-evolving restaurant scene is, it takes something special to stick in my memory after visiting that many restaurants. These are dishes I’ve revisited long after the ink has dried, creeping into my subconscious as a mid-afternoon daydream. They’ve challenged me in some way or stretched my perception of food into new and exciting territories. Without further fanfare, here are the dishes that I’m still enamored with after a year of gustatory excess.

con, chorizo and a goddamn pork chop piled up with peppers, onions and draped with a thick, melty layer of Oaxaca cheese.

Then, I stared hopelessly at the other half.

Knowing I couldn’t handle one more bite of this colossus, I wrapped it up and ate it the next day in shame. The Sur 39 let me know that we all have limits, and sometimes the best way to define them is to go up against something that kicks your ass. There’s wisdom in defeat, and our pursuit of wisdom should always supersede our fear of failure—especially when confronted with a torta the size of a Jack Russell Terrier. Multiple locations, bigtortas.com

Szechuan Garden’s Mapo Tofu

Trying mapo tofu ($8.95) at Sandy’s Szechuan Garden for the first time was a lot like my first time listening to The Strokes: the slow realization that I’d entered a diner’s nirvana. In addition to its balanced simplicity—it’s a humble dish of cubed silken tofu suspended in an ebullience of angry red oils and tossed with finely minced pork—it represents a centuries-old culinary legacy.

It made me want to further explore food from the Sichuan province of China in the

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same way reading the liner notes of a great album made me want to explore new artists making a similar genre of music. It all hinges upon the Sichuan peppercorn and its delightful, sensory-altering characteristic of numbing the tongue. Once it’s applied its brand of mischief to your taste buds, it enables them to appreciate bold new flavors or to notice the nuance within those that are more familiar. 1275 E. 8600 South, 801-2330027, szechuangardensandy.com

Tradition’s Spiced Cherry Pie

Cherry pie is something that I’ve had—and really liked—so often that I didn’t even imagine that it could be made differently than the vibrant, candy-coated crimson and buttery crust I had gotten used to. My first bite of the spiced cherry pie ($7) at Tradition transformed my pie paradigm forever. It chortles at cherry pies that have used bright red goo and red food coloring to showcase the sweetness of cherries by killing their tartness. This pie is sans goo, and its copious amounts of cherries have been encouraged to exhibit their natural sass with the addition of lemon, ginger, cinnamon and just a touch of black pep-

per. You can’t really go wrong with any of the pies in Tradition’s repertoire, but the spiced cherry is a game changer. 501 E. 900 South, 385-202-7167, traditionslc.com

Popcorn Tin Composed Cone at Normal Ice Cream

Anytime someone can capture the shared experience of a particular flavor combination, you have to stop and take note. The soft serve magicians at Normal Ice Cream succeeded in capturing the sweet and salty notes of a holiday popcorn tin in an ice cream cone, and I’ve been rapt with admiration ever since. It started with their buttered popcorn soft serve that’s topped with cheddar powder and some cheesy poofs. Not only was this a successful attempt at balancing sweet and savory, but it evoked the fun of reaching into one of those holiday popcorn tins with the intent to get a little bit of everything and let it party in your mouth. Such a creation transcends mere sustenance—Alexa Norlin and her team at Normal are purveyors of edible nostalgia. 169 E. 900 South, 385-444-3218, normal.club Cheers to another year of adventurous eating! CW

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DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 23

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BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

New Year’s Eve Dining

Ringing in the new year is always a good excuse to get a bit indulgent before you set your sights on any upcoming self-improvement goals, so here’s a list of local places offering tasty food and drink on New Year’s Eve.

Café Niche

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -CREEKSIDE PATIO-89 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO-SCHEDULE AT RUTHSDINER.COM“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

They’ll be serving a four-course meal that kicks off with deviled eggs, carrot bisque or roasted beets before getting down to business with lobster mac and cheese, green pepper crusted tenderloin, roasted game hen or eggplant stuffed artichokes with a dessert selection of cherry berry pistachio bread pudding or a chocolate mousse tart. Dinner is served from 5 to 9 p.m. at $60 a plate, and reservations can be made online or over the phone. 779 E. 300 South, 801-443-3380, cafeniche.com

Oasis Café

Oasis is going slightly more Mediterranean with a starter of heirloom tomato bruschetta and ahi tartare that moves into an arugula pecan salad with goat cheese or a shrimp bisque. The main course consists of a choice of basil pesto risotto with tiger prawns, Angus prime rib, chicken Marsala or primavera strozzapretti Pomodoro with desserts of espresso chai cheesecake, fresh fruit parfait or a tres leches cake with strawberries. Dinner is served from 5 to 9 p.m. at $55 a plate, and reservations can be made online or over the phone. 151 S. 500 East, 801-322-0404, oasiscafeslc.com

Stanza Italian Bistro 4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD | 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

Stanza’s four-course meal starts with crab and shrimp imperial or a Lucy Glo Apple tower before continuing on to a choice of stuffed rigatoni, butternut squash and arugula tortellini, tournedos Rossini, seared scallops and a rack of lamb before wrapping up with a choice of ruby chocolate cheesecake, tiramisu or pistachio cream cannoli. Dinner is served from 5 to 10 p.m. at $65 a plate, and reservations can be made online or over the phone. 454 E. 300 South, 801-746-4441, stanzaslc.com

Celebrat i

26

ng

24 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

the

year

s!

Saffron Valley

The Avenues location of Saffron Valley is hosting a New Year’s Eve Bollywood Bash complete with a DJ, dancing and a cash bar. Attendees can expect to find chili paneer, vegetable hakka noodles, potato and pea samosas, chicken tikka rolls, fish amritsari and onion bhaji in addition to several housemade chutneys and a black forest New Year’s cake for dessert. The party lasts from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. and advance tickets can be purchased for $25-$40 via Eventbrite. 26 E St., 801203-3325, saffronvalley.com Quote of the Week: “You’ll never get bored when you try something new. There’s no limit to what you can do.”

—Dr. Seuss Back Burner tips: comments@cityweekly.net

ninth & ninth

Award Winning Donuts 705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

M A N F O O D H E AV E N G E Rm licatessen & Restaurant Ger an De

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DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 25

Stouts and porters are the perfect way to end the year.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

S

touts and Porters tend to fill up refrigerators and cellar shelves this time of year. Many often benefit from a little time in the bottle, which has the ability to round out some of the rougher edges that come from a fresh-roasted and toasted ale. The stout and porter that I came across this week really don’t require any aging—though it’s always fun to see how it can affect individual high ABV dark beers. Seek out these two wonderful winter warmers.

Roosters Brewing Co. Nordic Porter: This is the first barrel-aged beer that Roosters has done. It has a midnight-black appearance, with little foam on top. The aroma begins with nice hints of roasted bourbon; the whiskey notes were quickly

MIKE RIEDEL

Winter Warmers

followed by dark roasted malt and dark roasted coffee beans. After all of those roasted aromas had their fun, it then finishes up with some dark chocolate, charred oak, vanilla and a hint of cherry.

The taste came on strong with bourbon, charred oak and dark-roasted malt. There was plenty of bourbon in the taste, but it wasn’t boozy. After the strong flavors, the beer goes into the roasted coffee beans, dark chocolate, black cherry and a subtle pinch of vanilla. I would have liked more sweet flavors like vanilla to round off all the bourbon and oak. I know, I can’t have everything. It was still pretty good as it stands.

Overall: This 9.3% beer represents itself well as a full-bodied, barrel-aged Porter with a good, strong bourbon and charred oak aftertaste.

2 Row Brewing Chocolate Cherries: This one pours as black as can be with a single finger of tan head. That head, however, is thick like whipped cream, and hung on longer than expected. And it smells wonderful—big notes of chocolate-covered dark cherry and heavy on the chocolate, surprisingly so for an imperial stout. No noticeable alcohol from this 11% beer.

Roasted malts are up front, followed by smooth black coffee and bittersweet chocolate, finishing with a mild dark cherry flavor. As the beer warms, you get more of the sweet-tart cherry profile. Between tastes,

there’s a lingering cocoa nib and Bing cherry flavor, which I really dig. It’s creamy with a hint of pucker from the cherries dancing around after the finish.

Overall: I was thinking it was going to be sweet like chocolate covered cherries—and boy, was I wrong. The cherry profile is fresh with dried cherries, with rich bittersweet chocolate. The cherry flavor doesn’t hit you over the head, but it’s noticeable and quite enjoyable. Also, let this beer warm up considerably to get those wonderful cherry

flavors. If you’re looking for a maraschino cherry and milk chocolate-flavored beer, then this is not the one for you.

Both of these beers are limited runs, and likely won’t be around much past the end of the year. Nordic Porter is made at barrel strength, meaning it has been blended down with fresh porter. I’d collect a few of these just in case. Chocolate Cherry is smooth enough to drink any time of year.

You can find both at their respective breweries. As always, cheers! CW

26 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

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Rubigo Pearl

Tuesday 12/31

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Recommendations for ringing, singing and dancing in the new year.

BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

W

ant more than just a glittering ball drop out of your New Year’s Eve festivities? Sure you do. Why wait in the freezing cold for a very bizarre tradition, when you could dance your way into the new year with great music at local spots?

Following are some places where you can indulge in good old rock ’n’ roll, big party vibes or welcome in a brand new roaring ’20s era.

Where to Ring in the New ’20s: Park City is the place to go, it seems, if you’re looking for the ultimate Gatsby-themed party, unless somehow you live another 100 years (not likely, because of like, climate change). Some people find these 1920s-themed parties passé, but I say that when it comes time to ring in the new ’20s, there’s no way to not indulge in this theme. There are two different throwback parties in Park City, so choose wisely.

First, there’s New Year’s Eve at The Cabin Park City, featuring funk and neo-soul tunes from The Pour, with support from DJ Funkee Boss. If you’re looking for something a little more jazz-themed, O.P. Rockwell’s 1920s-themed entry into the 2020s features work from the gold standard of party music: Gold Standard, the jazz fusion group that, on top of delivering classic jazz tunes and covers of reworked modern hits, also infuse DJ elements into their sets.

That means that between songs, the music never dies, swinging between retro chic and the modern swagger of electronic beats all night long. Revelers can come just for the music, cocktails and Gatsby-appropriate apps, or start the evening early by reserving a VIP spot for dinner in The Rockwell Listening Room. No matter what you do, it’ll be a blast to the past as we move into the future.

New Year’s Eve at The Cabin, 427 Main, Park City, 8 p.m., $35, 21+, facebook.com/thecabinparkcity Gatsby Style New Year’s Eve at O.P. Rockwell, 268 Main, Park City, 9 p.m. general admission, $100; 7 p.m. for VIP dinner, $175, 21+, oprockwell.com

Conn Curran, right, and Rob Bennion of Gold Standard Where to Party Massively: So it’s a big, bad party you crave, huh? Luckily, there are two venues that regularly host the best of times for those who love to party. Sky SLC—local EDM hub and one of this city’s most interesting venues, with its multi-tier layout and incredible light shows—will be filled with the sounds of Miamibased DJ Crespo, who has toured the world, showing off his openformat style with a sound influenced by anyone from The Roots to Skrillex. Salt Lake City-based Bangarang joins him on stage.

Or, head out to The Great Saltair for a larger-than-life party inside its massive dance hall. This is also one youth-friendly affair, with the general area being 18-and-up, while upstairs, 21-andolder folks can get a drink at Saltair’s full bar. Bring your friends to live up the last minutes of 2019 with this music-packed night, featuring DJ sets from the alien-beat-infused electronica of LAbased Infected Mushroom, the mayhem of Gravedgr, the epic and dreamy Armnhmr and the EDM duo of Bonnie x Clyde. What better way to enter the new year than way out in the Utah desert in a storied ballroom losing it to good music with all your best friends?

NYE 2020: The Countdown at Sky SLC, 149 W. Pierpont Ave., 9 p.m., $25 presale; $50 day of show, 21+, skyslc.com NYE 2020 @ The Great Saltair, 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 7 p.m., $50; $10 parking, 18+, thesaltair.com Where to Rock Out (or Folk Out): And what about if you just want to listen to some good old folk rock, and maybe have a few laughs? The Commonwealth Room has got you covered, with a performance from Montana-based band Kitchen Dwellers. Combining lively banjo plucking with more standard string instruments, they strum out humble folk-aligned ballads. Kitchen Dwellers can carry you at break-neck speed through a song just as easily as they can pull you along gently. They’ll be joined by Colorado band The Drunken Hearts (which is what everyone’s heart probably will be feeling like come midnight), who will spice things up with their electrifying alt-Americana sound. If this sounds like your thing, don’t miss this opportunity to be carried into 2020 by the sound of good old-fashioned guitar music. The Commonwealth Room isn’t huge, and will fill up fast. CW New Year’s Eve Party w/ The Kitchen Dwellers at The Commonwealth Room, 195 W. Commonwealth Ave., 9 p.m., $30– $60, 21+, thecommonwealthroom.com

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THURSDAY 12/26

BY ERIN MOORE, NIC RENSHAW & LEE ZIMMERMAN

FRIDAY 12/27

The Great Gig—A Pink Floyd Tribute

Tribute bands are pretty popular these days, and for good reason. For starters, many groups no longer exist, and the only way to experience their music live is through other musicians effectively recreating those distant yet distinct sounds. In fact, sometimes even those groups that claim to be the real deal are—when you consider lineup turnover— really only cover bands themselves; they claim

The Great Gig

the brand even when only one or two original members still linger. A good tribute band foregoes the pretense, instead simply sharing the sounds as faithfully as possible. The Great Gig does just that, offering sounds and sights that do Pink Floyd justice. Floyd fans can relish the fact that the music is not only presented with creativity and competence, but also that the players are talented enough to tackle those complex sounds. That’s no small feat in itself. The fact that a portion of the proceeds benefits the Salt Lake Academy of Music makes it all the more admirable. There’s another thing to keep in mind, too: Pink Floyd will never be reincarnated. Original mad-cap Syd Barrett and keyboardist Richard Wright have both gone to that great gig in the sky, and tensions between survivors Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour likely won’t be resolved any time soon. So, consider The Great Gig’s performance a plausible brick in the wall. (Lee Zimmerman) The Depot, 13 N. 400 West, 8 p.m., $15, 21+, thedepotslc.com

The Violet Temper, Mortigi Tempo, Portal to the God Damn Blood Dimension, Together Forever, The Salt, The Sea and The Sun God

All I ever want for Christmas is holiday music that isn’t insufferable. In my long career in retail and service industries, I’ve searched long and hard for Christmas covers by artists I actually like to play at my places of work, fleeing Michael Bublé at every turn. There’s

Tom Bennett not much, but there’s some—Bright Eyes, The Flaming Lips and Weezer all have either done Christmas covers or released original Christmas songs. Indie up-and-comer Sasami just released a three-song Christmas EP called lil drmr bb. So imagine my pleasure at finding that Crucialfest, our local-focused annual festival of the late summer/early autumn, comes to us this holiday season to remedy the pain of hearing shit music—particularly shit Christmas music—for the month-and-a-half leading up to the holiday itself. Crooshmas will host a clutch of locals armed with their own songs, mixed together with a few holiday covers.

It’ll be fun to see what shoegazers The Violet Temper bring to a song like “The 12 Days of Christmas,” which is already repetitive and long—aka, the basic formula of any shoegaze song (this is only a jolly jest). Maybe the macho rocker boys of Mortigi Tempo will take on “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Perhaps Portal to the God Damn Blood Dimension will teleport us to a goddamned “Winter Wonderland.” Played alongside their original material, this group of great local bands might reconvert showgoers to tired tracks, and polish off the holiday season with a noisy, rocky kind of cheer. (EM) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 6 p.m., $5 presale; $15 day of show, 21+, metromusichall.com

The Violet Temper

CRYSTAL PUCKETT

Based in St. George, but born and raised with a blues background in the Deep South, Tom Bennett is a prolific artist who, despite making his mark as a well-traveled one-manband, Utah still mostly gets to claim as one of its own. After going on an LDS mission to SLC, Georgia-born Bennett made the Beehive state his home, ironically leaving behind the Mormon part and crafting his traditional blues songs around his many travels—including all the details of a vagabond lifestyle, such as jumping on trains, hitching and other vagrancies. He relies on his harmonica—his preferred brand is Oskar Lee Harmonicas, which also endorses him—as well as his resophonic guitar and foot percussion, to deliver his charming foot-tapping, soulful country vocals. They reliably mirror his wandering spirit—with all its troubles and joys. Yet he’s jolly in the many videos he posts of himself playing in some desolate spot, calling for his ruddy-colored dog to stop wandering off as he begins a tune. With roadside cafés, dive bars and any other hole-in-the-wall joint being familiar spaces, he’ll fit right in at the Lighthouse Lounge in Ogden at their upcoming Ogden Unplugged open-mic night. Treat yourself to a night of tunes by a man who seems downright bound to the art of acoustics. If he inspires the way he probably will, audience members can hop on stage with a guitar themselves. (Erin Moore) Lighthouse Lounge, 130 25th St., Ogden, 7 p.m., free, 21+, lighthouseogden.com

BEN BRATEN

Tom Bennett

ADAM MANWILL

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29 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

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DECEMBER 26, 2019 | 30

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LIVE

SATURDAY 12/28

Roccsteady Music, Bipashwi, Theby M, Kenzo, Forskin Boyz, Noyz, T-Tovey

Given how vital the venue has become to Utah’s local music scene, it’s only natural that Kilby Court has a vested interest in fostering up-and-coming talents from all over the state, with particular focus on local acts on the cutting edge of modern music.

For the past few years, that cutting edge has undeniably been the SoundCloud rap and trap scenes. They’ve flourished just about everywhere due to a DIY attitude and a low bar of entry—i.e., pretty much anyone with a laptop can do it—that some have likened to early punk rock in the 1970s. On Saturday, Kilby hosts a showcase of local rap/trap artists, including (but not necessarily limited to) Roccsteady Music, Bipashwi, Theby M, Kenzo, Forskin Boyz, Noyz and T-Tovey. Many of these artists are still in the early stages of their careers, with little to no recorded output available online. However, from the snippets and songs I was able to hear—mostly from T-Tovey and Bipashwi—it looks like a show that anyone keeping an eye and an ear to new and exciting musical trends won’t want to miss. (Nic Renshaw) Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court, 6:15 p.m. $12-$15, all ages, kilbycourt.com

The Spazmatics

Don’t be daunted by the name. The Spazmatics are ... well, decidedly strange.

Their stage gear could best be described as

The Spazmatics

a blend between prep school chic and early Devo. Former Utah residents, they now reside mostly in L.A., but still fly back on a weekly basis for a standing gig at Liquid Joe’s. To paraphrase Tony Bennett, they apparently left their hearts in Salt Lake City.

Bizarre behavior aside, they may well be the best 1980s cover band ever, and regardless of whether they’re basking in “Purple Rain” or singing the praises of “Jessie’s Girl,” they add off-kilter visuals that are best seen and heard. To put it mildly, this bunch is as wacky as they are weird, making for decidedly odd live performances. However, even though they’re nerds, they get the girls. All the evidence you need is a YouTube video that finds Spazmatics singer Zeek doing some serious stage moves while performing a rousing medley of “That’s What I Like About You,” “Footloose” and “Living on a Prayer” during halftime for a Houston Texans vs.

Jacksonville Jaguars football game. These geeks might be freaks, but the jocks were probably feeling a bit envious watching the band rocking with resolve while the Texas cheerleaders giddily danced along. As for the rest of us, consider this gig another welcome return. Maybe we can’t miss them if they don’t go away, but who would really want them to? (LZ) Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 7 p.m., $7, 21+, liquidjoes.net

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80’S NYE PROM PARTY!

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Saturday, December 28th

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY W/ FAT CANDICE

Friday, December, 27th

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33 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

SATURDAY 12/28

CONCERTS & CLUBS

ROB MILLER

Steven Bosco, The Fox Brothers Band

THURSDAY 12/26 LIVE MUSIC

The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) Berlin (Metro Music Hall) Christmas Hangover Party feat. Funk & Gonzo + Skumbudz (The Royal) Dine Krew + Illwinded P + Auratoikal, Mixter Mike + Dj Baloo + Dumb Luck (Urban Lounge) The Hardy Brothers (Gracie’s) Michelle Moonshine (Bourbon House) Midnight Palm (Rye) Nashville Unplugged feat. Aaron Benward + D Vincent + Williams + Monty Powell + Anna Williams (O.P. Rockwell) Nicolas James (Lake Effect) Tom Bennett (Lighthouse Lounge) see p. 29

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos: Jules + Jordan (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dusty Grooves All Vinyl DJ (Twist) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Re:Fine (Downstairs) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Downlink (Sky) Tropicana Thursdays feat. Rumba

The Westerner is often home to the young ambitious music of Steven Bosco, and they’re lucky to be. The young artist— born in Utah, but raised across the country in Staten Island, N.Y.—seems to be shot through with fealty to Utah as well as good old-fashioned country rock. Live performances seem to be his focus at the moment, with a live session via Reel Sessions out on streaming platforms, alongside a 2017 single, “Three Shots Away.” Still, his voice is clear and honest in songs like “Not Missing You Pose,” which depict the pain of someone at a loss at how to act when confronted with an old lover. In addition to shows in Wyoming and Utah, he’s played at the famous Club Bonafide in NYC, as well as the Uncorked Festival there—intent on getting out his stuff and using, surely, his familiarity with that East Coast city and his desert home to find venues that are just right for what he’s got to offer. He’ll be joined by fellow Westerner regulars The Fox Brother’s Band. Bosco happens to have a hand in this as well, so this is almost a double-booked show. He lends his vocals to the group, which brings a country sound that’s more energetic than Bosco’s solo work, more made for dancing, partying and doing shots to—not the sad kind lone cowboys take alone at the bar, but the kind you take with friends. (Erin Moore) The Westerner Club, 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 9:15 p.m., free, 21+, westernerslc.com

Libre (Liquid Joe’s)

FRIDAY 12/27 LIVE MUSIC

The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) The Bully (Garage on Beck) Blue Divide (The Spur) Cactus Cola (Green Pig Pub) Crooshmas! Feat. The Violet Temper + Mortigi Tempo + Portal to the God Damn Blood Dimension + Together Forever + The Salt, The Sea + The Sun God (Metro Music Hall) see p. 29 Dangus Kong + The Chloe Collective + That Can Wait + Blue Filth + Acid Hologram (Kilby Court) DJ Stario (Downstairs) Fox Brothers Band (The Westerner) The Great Gig—A Pink Floyd Tribute (The Depot) see p. 29 Giraffula + Sleepy Passenger + Static Replica (Urban Lounge) The Ivie League (Harp and Hound) John Sherrill + Jake & the Hiest (Lake Effect) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Mokie (The State Room) Riding Gravity + Outside Of Society (Ice Haüs) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon) Scenic Byway (The Yes Hell) Will Baxter Band (The Bayou)

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All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Battleship (The Spur) DJ Brisk (Bourbon House) DJ Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy + Drew feat.

Dave + JC (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Funky Friday w/ DJ Godina (Gracie’s) Hot Noise (The Red Door) New Wave ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

Ol’ Fashion Depot (The Yes Hell) Pixie and the Partygrass Boys (The Depot) Roccsteady Music + Bipashwi + Theby M + kenzo + Forskin Boyz + Noyz + T-Tovey (Kilby Court) see p. 31 Rubigo Pearl + Damn Dirty Vultures (The Royal) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon) Sammy Brue (The Heavy Metal Shop) Shuffle (The Spur) Steven Bosco + Fox Brothers Band (The Westerner) see above The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) see p. 31 Ted Dancin’ (Urban Lounge) Tycoon Machete and Jacob Skeen (Ice Haüs)

SATURDAY 12/28

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) A Rockin’ Cabaret w/ Rich Wyman + Lisa Needham (O.P. Rockwell) B-Side Junkies (Johnny’s on Second) Dine Krew + Night Prowler + Swell Merchants + Umbels + Vinnie Cassius + DJ GRXYMVTTXR (Metro Music Hall) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Trio The Red Door) The Lovely Noughts (Garage on Beck) Matt Calder + Spock Block (Lake Effect) Mokie (O.P. Rockwell) Nicolas James (Harp and Hound) The Number Ones (The Bayou)

Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Jskee (The Spur) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Mr. Rameriz (Lake Effect) DJ Soul Pause (Twist) Gothic + Industrial + Dark ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Scandalous Saturdays w/ DJ Logik (Lumpy’s Highland) Sky Saturdays w/ DJ Matty Mo (Sky) Top 40 + EDM + Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Victor Menegaux (Downstairs)

SUNDAY 12/29 LIVE MUSIC

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The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) Angel Magic + Bobo + Marina Marqueza (Urban Lounge) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Rev (O.P. Rockwell) Say Goodnight 2019! feat. Wounded Knee + Stable Ren + Arktype + Storm Harbor Point + Baker’s Pool + Simple Balloon + Old Face Magenta + Del Perro (Kilby Court)

Celebrate in Style

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur)

MONDAY 12/30 LIVE MUSIC

The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) Eight01’s Finest feat. Kali + Lobo + Elan Blasé (Kilby Court) Los Hellcaminos (The Spur) Rylee McDonald (Lake Effect)

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UPCOMING EVENTS

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Big Head Todd & the Monsters January 10 – 21+ Sleeping With Sirens January 15 – ALL AGES Aaron Watson January 17 – 21+ The Ultimate 80’s Party with Tiffany January 18 – 21+ Ned Ledoux January 24 – 21+

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Pixie and the Partygrass Boys December 28 – 21+

Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam w/ West Temple Taildraggers (The Green Pig) Open Mic (The Cabin)

TUESDAY 12/31 LIVE MUSIC

The 5th Dimension (Egyptian Theatre) ’80s Prom NYE Party feat.

DJ Birdman (Ice Haüs) 9021Yo! (Twist) Escape Reality feat. Miz Cracker and Shea Coule (The Depot) Gracie’s New Year’s Eve Party feat. DJ Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) John Sherrill (Lake Effect)

As I was finishing getting my haircut at Ulysses Salon, I noticed that both wine glasses my stylist and I were drinking out of bore the name “SaltFire.” “Have you ever been there?” I asked her, and she told me yes, and that I should go tonight. I walked into the South Salt Lake brewery craving another white wine, but instead, I found a selection of delicious bottled and canned beers, as well as some guest drafts. I’m a fan of lighter beers, so I started with the NZED Pilsner, bottled at 5.4% ABV. I poured it myself into a glass identical to the one I was drinking from 30 minutes prior while my stylist cut my hair. It was delicious, and didn’t come on strong, with almost no bitterness—the qualities of a good Pilsner. Present, but never bland. I drank it over a half-hour because I was comfortable: The tasting room and bar were dimly lit, in stark contrast to the fluorescent brewing machinery that backlights the west side of the room. The wood bar, track lighting, lit Christmas tree and steel bathrooms with graffiti art all contrast the pragmatic, industrial brewing tanks. You’re not here to get smashed—they close at 8 p.m.—and there’s no liquor or wine—just good, strong beer. “If It Hadn’t Been for Love” played to a quiet room of bearded men, all hunched over. I felt charmed, and my hair looked great. (Parker S. Mortensen) SaltFire Brewing Co., 2199 S. West Temple, 385-955-0504, saltfirebrewing.com

New Years Eve 2019 feat.

Flash & Flare + Matty Mo (Urban Lounge) New Years Eve Party feat.

Kitchen Dwellers + The Drunken Hearts (The Commonwealth Room) see p. 27 New Years Eve at The Cabin feat. The Pour + DJ Funkee Boss (The Cabin) see p. 27 NYE 2020 SLC Countdown Party feat. DJ Phaya + DJ Cytron (The Complex) NYE 2020 feat. DJ Crespo + Bangarang (Sky) see p. 27 NYE feat. Infected Mushroom + ARMNHMR + Bonnie x Clyde + GRAVEDGR + Ubur B2B Somnium Sound (The Great Saltair) see p. 27 Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur)

Roaring 20’s Gatsby-theme NYE feat. Gold Standard (O.P. Rockwell) see p. 27 Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

DJ Jskee (The Spur) DJ SL Steeze (Lake Effect) DJ Spryte (Downstairs) Groove Tuesdays (Johnny’s on Second) Locals Lounge (The Cabin) New Year’s Eve- Black and White Dance Party w/ DJ Drewbacca (The Royal) New Years Eve Dueling Piano feat. Troy + Jules w/ Dave + Shawn (Tavernacle) New Years Eve w/ DJ Juggy (Bourbon House)

35 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

NYE 2020 feat. Crespo (Sky) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Tuesday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (Gracie’s) Tuesday Night Jazz (Alibi)

WEDNESDAY 1/1 LIVE MUSIC

Live Jazz (Club 90) Michelle Moonshine (Lake Effect) Radio Roulette (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) DJ Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle)

MANIC MONDAY KARAOKE 9PM-CLOSE W/ DJ DUCKY TACO TUESDAYS - $1 TACOS WHISKEY WEDNESDAY - $4 PINT OF PBR AND WELL WHISKEY SHOT COMBO

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Fifteenth-century Italian metalworker Lorenzo Ghiberti worked for 28 years to turn the doors of the Florence Baptistry into a massive work of art. He used bronze to create numerous scenes from the Bible. His fellow artist Michelangelo was so impressed that he said Ghiberti’s doors could have served as “The Gates of Paradise.” I offer Ghiberti as inspiration for your life in 2020, Capricorn. I think you’ll be capable of beginning a masterwork that could take quite some time to complete and serve as your very own “gate to paradise”: in other words, an engaging project and delightful accomplishment that will make you feel your life is eminently meaningful and worthwhile.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re wise to cultivate a degree of skepticism and even contrariness. Like all of us, your abilities to say no to detrimental influences and to criticize bad things are key to your mental health. On the other hand, it’s a smart idea to keep checking yourself for irrelevant, gratuitous skepticism and contrariness.

You have a sacred duty to maintain just the amount you need, but no more—even as you foster a vigorous reservoir of receptivity, optimism, and generosity. And guess what? 2020 will be an excellent time to make this one of your cornerstone habits.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When Virgo author Mary Shelley was 18 years old, she had a disconcerting dream-like vision about a mad chemist who created a weird human-like creature out of non-living matter.

She set about to write a book based on her mirage. At age 20, she published Frankenstein, a novel that would ultimately wield a huge cultural influence and become a seminal work in the “science fiction” genre. I propose we make Shelley one of your role models for 2020. Why? Because I suspect that you, too, will have the power to transform a challenging event or influence into an important asset. You’ll be able to generate or attract a new source of energy by responding creatively to experiences that initially provoke anxiety.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libra-born mystic poet Rumi (1207–1273) wrote that he searched for holy sustenance and divine inspiration in temples, churches and mosques—but couldn’t find them there. The good news? Because of his disappointment, he was motivated to go on an inner quest—and ultimately found holy sustenance and divine inspiration in his own heart. I’ve got a strong feeling that you’ll have similar experiences in 2020, Libra. Not on every occasion, but much of the time, you will discover the treasure you need and long for not in the outside world but rather in your own depths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke (1875–1926) embodied a trait that many astrology textbooks suggest is common to the Sagittarian tribe: wanderlust. He was born in Prague but traveled widely throughout Europe and Russia. If there were a Guinness World Records’ category for “Time Spent as a Houseguest,” Rilke might hold it. There was a four-year period when he lived at 50 different addresses. I’m going to be bold here and hypothesize that 2020 will not be one of those years when you would benefit from being like Rilke. In fact, I hope you’ll seek out more stability and security than usual.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): 2020 can and should be a lyrically healing year for you. Here’s what I mean: Beauty and grace will be curative. The “medicine” you need will come to you via poetic and mellifluous experiences. With this in mind, I encourage you to seek out encounters with the following remedies. 1. Truth Whimsies 2. Curiosity Breakthroughs 3. Delight Gambles 4. Sacred Amusements 4.

Redemptive Synchronicities 5. Surprise Ripenings 6. Gleeful Discoveries 7. Epiphany Adventures 8. Enchantment Games 9.

Elegance Eruptions 10. Intimacy Angels 11. Playful Salvation 12.

Luminosity Spells

DAILY ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27 WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Among his many accomplishments, Scorpio rapper Drake is an inventive rhymer. In his song “Diplomatic Immunity,” he rhymes “sacred temple” with “stencil.” Brilliant! Other rhymes: “statistics” with “ballistics”; “Treaty of Versailles” with “no cease and desist in I”; and—my favorite—”Al Jazeera” (the Qatar-based news source) with “Shakira” (the Colombian singer). According to my analysis of the astrological omens in 2020, many of you Scorpios will have Drake-style skill at mixing and blending seemingly disparate elements. I bet you’ll also be good at connecting influences that belong together but have never been able to combine before.

UTAH @ THE ALAMO BOWL 5:30

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When she was 31, Taurus writer Charlotte Brontë finished writing her novel Jane Eyre. She guessed it would have a better chance of getting published if its author was thought to be a man. So she adopted the masculine pen name of Currer Bell and sent the manuscript unsolicited to a London publisher. Less than eight weeks later, her new book was in print. It quickly became a commercial success. I propose that we make Brontë one of your role models for 2020, Taurus. May she inspire you to be audacious in expressing yourself and confident in seeking the help you need to reach your goals. May she embolden you, too, to use ingenious stratagems to support your righteous cause.

TUNES BY DJ LATU

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nazi Germany invaded and occupied Denmark during World War II. In 1943, Hitler ordered all Danish Jews to be arrested— a first step in his plan to send them to concentration camps.

But the Danish resistance movement leapt into action and smuggled virtually all of them to safety via fishing boats bound for Sweden. As a result, 8,000-plus Danish Jews survived the Holocaust. You might not have the opportunity to do anything quite as heroic in 2020, Aries. But I expect you will have chances to express a high order of practical idealism that could be among your noblest and most valiant efforts ever. Draw inspiration from the Danish resistance.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Roman Emperor Vespasian (9–79 AD) supervised the restoration of the Temple of Peace, the Temple of Claudius and the Theater of Marcellus. He also built a huge statue of Apollo and the amphitheater now known as the Colosseum, whose magnificent ruins are still a major tourist attraction. Vespasian also created a less majestic but quite practical wonder: Rome’s first public urinals. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you Leos to be stimulated by his example in 2020. Be your usual magnificent self as you generate both inspiring beauty and earthy, pragmatic improvements.

RING IN 2020 @ THE PIG!

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dante Alighieri (1265–1321) finished writing The Divine Comedy in 1320. Today it’s considered one of the supreme literary accomplishments in the Italian language and a classic of world literature.

But no one ever read the entire work in the English language until 1802, when it was translated for the first time. Let’s invoke this as a metaphor for your life in the coming months, Pisces. According to my visions, a resource or influence that has previously been inaccessible to you will finally arrive in a form you can understand and use. Some wisdom that has been untranslatable or unreadable will at last be available.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” wrote author Zora Neale Hurston. According to my astrological analysis, Cancerian, 2020 is likely to be one of those years that asks questions, while 2021 will be a time when you’ll get rich and meaningful answers to the queries you’ll pose in 2020. To ensure that this plan works out for your maximum benefit, it’s essential that you formulate provocative questions in the coming months. At first, it’s fine if you generate too many. As the year progresses, you can whittle them down to the most ultimate and important questions. Get started!

CINEMA

FILM REVIEW

New Eyes

Greta Gerwig restructures Little Women into a collision between aspirations and societal reality.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

SONY PICTURES

E

they need to shift radically.

If any of that makes Little Women sound more like an earnest treatise than a satisfying film story, nothing could be further from the truth. The casting is top-notch, headed

by Ronan’s furiously spirited Jo and Pugh— a young actor who already seems to have limitless range—finding depth and pain in the usually bratty Amy. Alexandre Desplat’s score provides a lovely backdrop, while Gerwig and cinematographer Yorick Le Saux find beautiful painterly images in candlelit interiors and the riot of colors in a New England fall landscape. It’s also hard to imagine another director that would have turned the first meeting between Jo and Laurie into a gloriously goofy dance which, if perhaps more than a bit anachronistic, is nonetheless delightful to watch.

Little Women builds to a moment that makes it clear this is ultimately a story about its own creation, as Jo negotiates with a publisher (Tracy Letts) over the terms for her semi-autobiographical book. It’s a bit

Emma Watson, Florence Pugh, Soairse Ronan and Eliza Scanlen in Little Women obvious as a crowd-pleaser, bringing more than a hint of “you go, girl” to a tale that had mostly been frank in addressing the societal limitations placed on its female characters.

Then again, this is the different point of view Gerwig has chosen to bring to Little Women, especially as a woman herself establishing a place in the male-dominated world of filmmaking. It’s wonderful to see this source material as a call to recognize the unfairness the world might throw at you, stare it in the eye, and decide you’re going to make your own happiness. CW

LITTLE WOMEN

BBB.5 Saoirse Ronan Emma Watson Florence Pugh PG

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talking about a beloved novel that’s been around for more than a century, including in previous film adaptations—and has even been a punch line for a Friends episode—so let’s not pretend that we have to keep our cards close to the vest.

But there’s more than that going on in Gerwig’s fragmented chronology. As Little Women unfolds, it becomes a tale juxtaposing the lives that the young protagonists imagine possible for themselves with the choices that they ultimately have available.

Meg dreams of escaping a family with constant worries about money, and has a wonderful experience at a fancy ball, then must shift her thinking when she falls in love with and marries a poor teacher; Amy talks of going off to Europe to become an artist, only to face what she perceives as her lack of exceptional talent. This interpretation of the story anchors itself in the collision between the aspirations a girl might have in 1860s America, and how to adapt when those aspirations seem impossible, or when

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

very remake or re-telling of a story on screen comes with an implicit question: Why? What reason is there to do this again, and what new idea do the filmmakers bring to it? Sometimes the answer is obvious: There really isn’t anything new to say, and the only reason is (ringing of cash register noise). But then there are occasions when it’s clear that someone has been able to look at an existing story with new eyes.

That’s what Greta Gerwig has done with the 150-year-old text of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women: She has found a way of telling it that feels new and absolutely vital.

Most obviously, she radically re-imagines the structure. Gerwig’s Little Women opens well past the mid-point of the novel, with Jo March (Saoirse Ronan) already living in New York and trying to build a career as a writer. From there, it ultimately flashes back seven years to the four March girls—Jo, Meg (Emma Watson), Amy (Florence Pugh) and Beth (Eliza Scanlen)—living in Massachusetts with their mother, Marmie (Laura Dern), while their father serves in the Union army. And for the rest of the running time, Gerwig shifts back and forth between the two time frames.

At first blush, that approach might seem to be a violation of a narrative that presents certain events as revelations. For example, we already know that Jo has rejected the marriage proposal of her neighbor and friend, Laurie (Timothée Chalamet), before Gerwig actually gives us the scene in which that rejection takes place. On one level, it could work simply as a tweaking of “spoiler” obsession: We’re

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8. ____ en scène 9. “The Thin Man” dog 10. “The Sound of Music” tune 11. Guitar, in slang 12. J’s value in Words With Friends 13. Member of an underground colony 21. Inc. alternative 22. Song of mourning 25. When preliminary steps are taken?

26. Citi rival 27. Move like Jagger 28. Where oysters and clams are served 29. ____ Island 30. Karl Marx’s “____ Kapital” 31. Super Mario Galaxy platform 32. Parts of shirtsleeves 33. “Charlotte’s Web” boy 37. O.C.’s home 38. 1914-18 conflict, for short 39. Wine: Prefix 43. Sterile 45. Kidman who is neither a kid nor a man 46. They yearn 47. Coors Field player 48. Flamenco cheer

52. Just ____, skip and jump away 53. Pro ____ 54. Good lookers?

55. First name at Woodstock 56. Klondike strike 57. Competitor of Amazon Handmade 58. Comfy sleepwear 59. Fast asleep 60. Wise ____

Last week’s answers

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WHERE REAL GAY MEN MEET

Did you know that 1 out of every 6 Utahns moved last year? Although we’re about to embark on a 2020 Census, we still use information from the Census Bureau that is rather surprising. The good news is that more people are moving into Utah than leaving. If folks were running away from here, property values would drop and inventory would increase.

Most people moving here are coming from California. Why? Easy answers: California has high housing prices; has one of the nation’s highest state income tax rates MediaBids_190103_24.indd 1 12/28/2018 5:15:20 and horrific traffic. Relocating adults are also coming from Idaho, Washington, Texas, Arizona, Oregon, Colorado and New York, to name a few. Several of those states also have bad traffic or high taxes as well. What those states don’t have is our snow and ski resorts, our “Big Six” national parks and a very healthy, but conservative, state economy.

According to topmoving.com, the average cost of hiring a professional moving company to get someone from San Francisco to Utah is $2,848. If you rent a 10-foot truck from U-Haul to move from Salt Lake to San Francisco, you’ll pay $469 for four days and 871 miles. That is if you can find a parking place in the Bay Area to unload your treasures! (By the way, I don’t recommend that website—because once I entered my basic info, I received 10 phone calls and THIS WEEK’S FEATURED 10 emails within 10 minutes from movers trying to sell me their services.) Hell, PARTLOW RENTALS: I have a friend who rents a one-bedroom space there in an old home just outside of the Castro District for $3,500 per month.

He has a handicapped license plate but no off-street parking. On somedays, he has to drive around for an hour just to find parkLIBERTY PARK MILLCREEK ing. And then, if he doesn’t move the car on certain days or hours, he gets towed.

Lovely 1 bdrm. w/ dishwasher, track Must Have 2 bdrm. w/ vaulted lighting, wall mounted A/C, on-site Whether you’ve moving in or out of state, ceilings, private balcony, central A/C, laundry, cat friendly! washer dryer hook-ups! $995 there are some basic tips from moving.com PRICE DROP $795 that will help: Call utility companies to start or stop service; set your budget for a mover or truck and get bids; get packing supplies; leave your clothes on hangers and get a clothing box with a hanging bar; wrap breakables in your linens and towels; fill up your pots and pans with small items from your kitchSOUTH JORDAN BOUNTIFUL en (like spices and food) but also put plastic Luxury 3 bdrm 2 bath condo loaded Beautiful 2 bdrm. with semi-formal wrap over those pots in case things spill; with amenities! Attached garages, dining, central air, covered parking, private balcony, HOA Dues included! same with your suitcases—use them! Also, if extra storage! $995 $1395 you have to hire movers, be aware that you’re going to be charged by weight. Is your old washer and dryer or refrigerator worth the expense, or would it be better to purchase new ones for your new place? n

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We celebrate diversity!

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

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Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Go bananas 5. 2005 biography subtitled “The Making of a Terrorist” 10. Contents of spreadsheets 14. Firehouse fixture 15. LP players 16. Yoked pair in a field 17. Where icicles may hang 18. Passover no-no 19. Hit musical set in 1990s New York 20. “The Cloister and the Hearth” author (what an apt surname!)

23. Baby’s crib part 24. Desktops that debuted in 1998 28. “Native Son” author (what an apt surname!)

32. James of “Elf” 34. Watergate-era White House chief of staff 35. Place for a stud to go 36. Alphabetic trio 37. Actress Kurtz 40. Michigan rival, for short 41. Only mo. that can begin and end on the same day of the week 42. Was short 43. Van Halen’s “Live Without ____” 44. “Household Saints” author (what an apt surname!)

49. Arab country expelled from the Arab League in 2011 50. Princess loved by Heracles 51. “Showing My Color: Impolite Essays on Race and Identity” author (what an apt surname!)

58. ____ stick 61. Actress Salma 62. Bring (out) 63. E-cigarette company since 2015 64. ‘90s “SNL” regular Cheri 65. Misfortunes 66. Ocular malady 67. No longer in 68. Wyoming town that’s home to the Buffalo Bill Museum

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38 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

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Wait, What?

Joe Rwamirama, 48, of Kampala, Uganda, has an unusually practical superpower: “He is known all over the city as the man who can kill mosquitoes with his farts,” local barber James Yoweri told The Sun on Dec. 10.

Rwamirama said no one in his home village has ever contracted malaria because his gaseous ejections knock out insects over a 6-mile radius. “He is respectful of people around him and will only fart when there are mosquitoes around,” Yoweri continued.

Rwamirama hopes to market his gas and claims that insect repellant companies have been looking into its chemical secrets, but The Sun couldn’t verify those claims.

WEIRD

Undignified Death When a Shelby, Ohio, police officer responded to a call on Nov. 13 about a sick or rabid raccoon on a residential street, he had a tough decision to make. The raccoon did seem either injured or ill, and according to WJW, the officer decided it needed to be destroyed. However, there is no area animal control department, and police officers don’t have the “training or equipment to capture a potentially rabid animal,” officials said. And the officer was hesitant to use his firearm because of the time of day and because some residents were outside their homes. So he decided to use his vehicle to eliminate the raccoon, running over it several times to finish the job. Unfortunately, a bystander was recording the incident, and people on social media are calling for the officer’s removal. The Shelby police chief responded: “The video is disturbing to watch. ... We are having an independent group, with a prosecutor, to determine if any criminal charges are appropriate (but) ... this incident doesn’t violate any wildlife laws.”

Bright Idea The Raleigh (North Carolina) News & Observer reported on Dec. 9 that a 14-year-old runaway made a logical choice when deciding where to hide. Around 8:30 that morning, as workers at Bed Bath & Beyond opened the store in Greenville, they discovered someone hidden in the store and called police. Officers responded for a “breaking and entering in progress,” but found only a teenage boy who had “camped out” in the store overnight.

He was returned to his home.

Great Art! In Miami Beach, Fla., you don’t even have to leave the oceanfront to get caught in a traffic nightmare. For Miami’s Art Basel, Argentinian artist Leandro Erlich unveiled on Dec. 3 a masterpiece three months in the making: sand sculptures of 66 actualsize cars and trucks locked in a traffic jam, which he calls “Order of Importance.” His artwork is meant to bring attention to the climate crisis, Dezeen reported. The work includes several lanes of traffic split by a traffic divider. Most of the vehicles are partially submerged in a nod to rising sea levels created by global warming. “As an artist, I am in a constant struggle to make people aware of this reality,” Erlich said. It is his largest project to date.

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Bah, Humbug!

Marie Bennett, 40, and Joseph Betancourt, 24, of Woodland, Calif., would have made the Grinch proud, but police in Red Bluff weren’t having it. On Dec. 5, the two allegedly broke into the Children First Foster Family Agency, where they stole “(a) large amount of toys that were being held there for children for Christmas presents,” police told Fox News. Surveillance video showed the burglars coming and going from the home next door; officers arrested Bennett and Betancourt for burglary, theft and breaking and entering, and they recovered the stolen toys, declaring, “These ‘Grinches’ will not be stealing Christmas from kids on our watch.” n The Bosch’s Country View Nursery in Allendale, Mich., is a longtime favorite destination for Christmas tree shoppers. But sometime in early December, the Grinch visited, lopping the top halves off more than a dozen trees, according to WZZM13. It takes a fir tree between six and 10 years to grow to Christmas tree height, explained owner Brian Bosch. “Somebody had a bad day, I’m assuming,” he said. “I don’t know why somebody would do that.” Bosch did say that the trees might recover, although it would take a few years.

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n Meanwhile, it’s warm and sunny in Las Vegas, and the pigeons are wearing cowboy hats. What? On Dec. 9, KVVU reported that pigeons have been spotted with tiny red cowboy hats on their heads. Mariah Hillman, who runs an animal rescue, at first thought the little headwear was cute, but then began to worry about how the hats had been affixed to the birds’ heads.

“Did they glue them? ... Is it something that’s going to impede their flight or attract predators?” she wondered. Hillman and her agency have been handing out business cards and asking people who see the little urban cowbirds to “just feed them until I get here. I’m only 3 miles away and I’ll come trap them.”

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| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Just Weird It’s very cold and very dark, in an existential sort of way, in Minneapolis at this time of year. To wit: Cianna Violet, 24, passes by a certain spot, near a Broadway Pizza location, as she commutes to work. In November, she noticed a yellow traffic pylon with an extra something clinging to the top and pulled over to check it out. It was a rat—dead, frozen, sad. Until Dec. 3, when Violet noticed something about the rat had changed.

Sure enough, someone had dressed the chilly little rodent and even remembered accessories, like a tiny silver backpack and furtrimmed boots. The outfit is “100% seasonably appropriate,” Violet told CityPages. “I’m sorry it had to die, but in death it has brought a reason to smile to hundreds.”

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

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40 | DECEMBER 26, 2019

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