City Weekly April 25, 2024

Bite into the trends, innovations and classic staples of Salt Lake’s food and beverage scene.

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Tax Freedom Day

As most Americans know, the Internal Revenue Service’s deadline for filing 2023 federal income tax returns fell on April 15 this year.

Millions of Americans probably waited until the last minute to file those returns, in part because nobody likes doing the paperwork (even if it’s done on a computer with expert assistance), and in part because they dreaded the possibility of having to cough up even more money instead of getting a refund.

As many Americans may not know, Tax Freedom Day fell on April 16. Tax Freedom Day is the day when—according to the Tax Foundation—the average American has earned enough to cough up what the government is going to demand from him or her this year. After Tax Freedom Day, you’re theoretically earning money for yourself instead of for Uncle Sam.

As of 2020 (the last year I could find Tax Foundation information for), the average American forked over 13.6 cents of every dollar earned ... and that’s just for federal income tax. It doesn’t include capital gains taxes, state income taxes, property taxes, sales taxes, tariffs (you only see them as price increases, but you’re still paying them), gas taxes, “sin” taxes on booze and tobacco—the taxing just never stops.

The message of “tax day” and “Tax Freedom Day” is really the same: For nearly one-third of the year, the government considers itself entitled to everything you earn or produce, and demands that you do

the work of documenting whether it took “enough.”

There’s a word for that kind of claim ... but we supposedly ended slavery in 1865. I guess there are reasonable arguments for using weaker terms like “theft” or “extortion,” but there’s no honest way of making taxation sound moral.

The dishonest way is best exemplified by Oliver Wendell Holmes’s claim that “taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society,” or Barney Frank’s definition of “government” as “simply the name we give to the things we choose to do together.”

Paying taxes is not something we “choose to do together.” It’s something we do because government threatens to steal our stuff and/or lock us up if we don’t.

As for “civilized society,” I refrain from beating my neighbor senseless or burning down his house because I’m not a terrible person, not because he filled out a 1040 form. I’m inclined to doubt that my fellow citizens will suddenly descend into sav-

agery if the government stops stealing a third of their wealth every year.

And even if the “civilized society” dodge made sense at all, I’d have to conclude, like Jimmy McMillan, that “the rent is too damn high.” The government has enough money to build 750 military bases in other countries (not counting the ones in the U.S.) and enough money to track me down and put me in a cage if I smoke the wrong plant—neither of which has anything to do with “society” being “civilized.” In short, it has way too much money.

If politicians need money, they should hold bake sales instead of holding guns to our heads.

THOMAS L. KNAPP

The William Lloyd Garrison Center for Libertarian Advocacy Journalism

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Benjamin Wood

I pretty much always wanted to be a writer, but when I was younger, the dream was books and screenplays. Back then, before the internet destroyed the news industry, journalism seemed like the “safe” writing career. Lol!

Chelsea Neider

An artist—always wanted to be one.

Bryan Bale

When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad was a cross-country truck driver. I missed him when he was on long road trips, but I was fascinated by 18-wheelers, so I thought I might have liked to be a trucker like he was.

Carolyn Campbell

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a 9-year-old in fourth grade. Champion swimmer and librarian were my second and third choices.

Katharine Biele

I know you won’t believe this, but I’ve always wanted to be a reporter. Why, you ask? It may have started when I saw a really old movie about a Revolutionary War kid reporting the news. Cool, huh? Apparently, it stuck even as journalism is reviled and the pay ridiculous. It’s still a worthy calling.

OPINION

BY CHRISTOPHER SMART

Cheeks Ahoy!

Remember the “Girl From Ipanema?” In Brazil, they’ve been wearing thong bikinis for quite a while now. You’ve seen the pictures, all those tanned butts up and down the beach.

That’s what you expect in Rio de Janeiro. Well, Wilson, it’s hard to believe but thong bikinis have come to the States. And even right here in Utah, you see bare butts all over the place. Rio comes to Zion.

Luckily, the “Word of Wisdom” has nothing to say about thong bikinis. And we’re not talkin’ one here and there. Go to the park, and take a gander at the young women sunning themselves. It’s butts up.

No, Wilson, we don’t know if there is a special butttanning lotion, but that could be a good business opportunity. You could call it Cheeks Ahoy. Makes you wonder what young kids are going to think around the pool come summer.

“Hey, Mom, why is that lady’s butt hanging out?” “Look away, Bobby.” “But mom, why does she have that thing in her butt crack?” “Bobby, here’s some money. Go get an ice cream, and don’t hurry.”

Butt-crack bikinis can be attractive—or not. Beautiful butts are in the eyes of the beholder. Speaking of which, there’s trouble on the horizon. Hold on to your California baggies—soon, men will be wearing thong bikinis. Yecht. You’re right, Wilson, that’s just wrong.

Time to Kill Off the Homeless

There are too many homeless people, and it’s high time we get rid of them. They’re camping everywhere and us-

ing parks for restrooms, and they drive real estate down.

The U.S. Supreme Court soon will consider making homelessness illegal. The idea would be to ticket them and fine them and even jail them. HUD estimates there are some 650,000 homeless, but the reality is closer to 1 million.

Luckily, there are some good ideas out there. One is to drive them like cattle to Canada. Another is to hire the Israelis and force them into the sea, kinda like Gaza. Or we could just send them all to Phoenix, Arizona, where they would soon burn up.

But right now, homelessness is legal following a ruling from the 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals: “[T]he Cruel and Unusual Punishments Clause of the Eighth Amendment precludes the enforcement of a statute prohibiting sleeping outside against homeless individuals with no access to alternative shelter.”

If the Supreme Court lets that ruling stand, the whole country could look like San Francisco or New Delhi. Of course, about the time Ronald Reagan moved into the White House, homeless people were hard to find. But what’s the sense in talking about what causes homelessness when we can just outlaw it and send them to the Galapagos.

Diamond in the Rough

Salt Lake City’s Rio Grande District is a miracle waiting to happen ... and waiting and waiting and waiting. Walt Disney took a barren chunk of land in Southern California and turned it into a magical wonderland. Well, imagine the magic makeover the mayor and city could do for the Rio Grande District—once home to the homeless and an open-air drug market.

You may be pleased to know there are brand new plans for the area just west of the historic Rio Grande Depot. It’s going to be swell—even more sweller than the last plan that wasn’t implemented. It’ll be something like Bourbon Street in New Orleans, sans the Bourbon and the beads.

With a cost of $5 billion, it will be so cool as to be unbelievable. Many of the details are under wraps, but sources who wished to remain anonymous tell Smart Bomb that plans include coordinating transportation systems with a wild mouse connecting FrontRunner to the light rail—people could jump off at Festival Street. OK, what is Festival Street? Much like Main Street, U.S.A., at Disneyland, it will feature fun stuff for the whole family, like Mr. Toad’s bridal gowns, Bear County lingerie and Frontierland Gun Shop. But as has been the case for decades, plans remain in flux. For updates, check back in 2028. It’s going to be so cooooool.

Postscript—Alright that’s going to do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the room temperature at Trump’s “hush-money” porn star trial so you don’t have to. Fact is, it’s just damned cold in there. But even with the AC on blast, the former president keeps dozing off. His defense team is working feverishly to come up with ways to keep him awake, including putting chili powder in his Gucci loafers and Bengay in his Jockeys. Something burning?

Here’s an item from our “New Celebs” file. “The Devil Wears Prada” and so does Caitlin Clark. At the presser where she announced signing with the Indiana Fever, the b-ball scoring phenom who was No. 1 in the WNBA draft, was outfitted by—you guessed it—Prada. She cut a stylish figure sporting a double white satin shirt and skirt with an embroidered rhinestone mesh top—the first basketball player to be dressed by the luxury label for draft night.

Prada isn’t paying her, but Nike is. Clark has reportedly signed a eight-year, $28 million deal with the shoemaker. That should help make up for her $76,000 WNBA salary. Just imagine, five years ago, she was a kid trying out for the Iowa women’s basketball team. You’re right, Wilson, that’s one heck of an education. CW

Private Eye is off this week. Christopher Smart writes the weekly Smart Bomb column available online at cityweekly.net. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele BY BRYANT HEATH

MISS: Gawk the Vote

In these days of election skepticism, it would be good to have a system that instills confidence. Legislators typically say they are looking for ways to give voters that confidence, because problems abound. Just look at all the voter fraud—wait, there isn’t any? But … but there could be, right? That must be why Republicans in Salt Lake, Weber and Davis counties are calling for an end to Utah’s participation in the Electronic Registration Information Center, or ERIC, because it’s “a politically driven voter registration scheme,” KSL reports. Of course, any voter registrations—by their nature—are political, but that hasn’t stopped a nationwide conspiracy network. ERIC is a nonprofit, bipartisan, voluntary consortium of 32 states to help election officials improve the accuracy of their voter rolls and register more eligible Americans to vote. But since 2022, eight states have pulled out of ERIC, believing incorrectly that it’s bankrolled by George Soros and is a left-wing tool. The misinformation machine has come to Utah and ironically is working to make elections less secure.

MISS: Bring in a Ringer

Utah managed to stop all those transgender youth athletes from playing in girls sports. Mommy and Daddy want to see their little girls win, even though trans girls aren’t really taking all the Ws. And the whining continues. Now international students are in the spotlight. Frankly, it’s because some private schools might have been recruiting abroad. KSL and the Utah High School Activities Association have been investigating. “The alleged recruiting of foreign players appears to have limited the opportunity for Utah players to participate,” said UHSAA’s Mark Van Wagoner, who’s proposing a rule change to ban students on a certain visa. The evidence is “clear,” investigators say. Layton Christian won seven championships, and Judge Memorial won its first since 2008. So rather than target the noncompliant recruiters, UHSAA is choosing to go after the students. It’s the Utah Way.

HIT: Extraction Distractions

Of course, the state just wants the feds to trust us—especially with public lands. “Utah has a long track record of successful conservation and restoration of its public lands in tandem with local BLM offices,” Gov. Spencer Cox said in a statement. The Bureau of Land Management released a rule to conserve federal land on a landscapewide basis, meaning landscapes have to be intact. Cox and his governor friends want that changed, fearing that “multiple uses such as conifer removal projects, livestock grazing, renewable energy development, mining, oil and gas exploration, road improvements, dispersed camping, and many other activities could be deemed to ‘disrupt, impair or degrade’ in different situations.” Note the inclusion of mining and oil and gas exploration. BLM did revise the rule some while the feds continue to protect federal lands for the future. CW

Less Is More

Cruising around Salt Lake City, you are guaranteed to spot a wide variety of vehicles. From Ferraris to Fiats, Lamborghinis and the occasional Lada, we’ve got them all and everything in between.

Subarus, of course, reign supreme. But some will be surprised to hear that the top-selling vehicle in Utah— alongside 12 other states—are the Ford F-series pickup trucks. It appears the Utah Way of doing things differently does not extend to automobiles.

But what’s caught my eye lately while driving is another type of pickup: kei trucks. In a sea of cars, these Japanese miniatures—with exotic model names such as the Subaru Sambar, the Mitsubishi Minicab and the Mazda Scrum—still find a way to stand-out. They are the counterbalance to Tesla’s behemoth Cybertruck: both have quirky aethestics and, ironically, the same bed size, so you can haul equal amounts of mulch from Home Depot, if need be.

Now, it could be the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon in action—once you see one, you can’t help but start noticing them more—but based purely off my own personal observations, I’ve seen a noticeable uptick in their popularity here in the city (photo above).

I’d be willing to guess that you’ve seen them as well. My meticulous chronicling of every sighting over the past three years suggest that they’ve made an appearance in practically every neighborhood: Harvard-Yale— check; Rose Park—yep; The Avenues— well, that one is probably obvious to all, but, yes, as well.

If you’ve been to a farmers market or a street fair any time over the past year, you’re sure to have seen the one whose bed was retrofitted by Mims Bakery to appear more like a bread box. Turns out sourdough tastes best delivered by microtruck. And if you’re wanting a peek without having to search hard, you can always pop in to Nate Wade Subaru on 1300 South and Main Street, where they have a few classic models in the showroom.

Kei trucks exist in an interesting gray area of legality and are weirdly regulated depending on what state you’re in. In fact, just this past week, the great state of Texas—where everything is allegedly bigger, except automobile freedom—granted permission to allow these vehicles on the road, something that Utah did way back in 2008.

Short of an e-bike or public transit, I can’t imagine a better way to get around this “20 Is Plenty” city than with a kei truck. You’d really have to press the accelerator hard to get above that speed anyway! CW

Rewind

CITY WEEKLY

BY WES LONG wlong@cityweekly.net

“We make plans and God laughs,” wrote editor Enrique Limón for the March 19 issue. “Boy, oh boy, that has never rung truer than in the past few days. Unless you’ve been living under a Purell-soaked rock, you’ll know it’s full-blown coronavirus pandemonium out there, with misinformation spreading quicker than the virus itself, and otherwise law-abiding citizens reverting to their most primal selves by punching grannies in the face over the last antibacterial soap pump on the grocery store shelf.”

It was not a pretty sight. Wrenched from the modern enervation of snark and spectacle, the country had firmly landed in the COVID era with much to sort out. Not that we weren’t already tracking the alwayshead-spinning developments of Utah news while also dealing with our own internal modifications. But them’s the breaks in the world of journalism. Through our 36th year, global climate change activism was taking place, the first impeachment of President Donald Trump rocked the corridors of power and Kurdish Utahns decried the Trump administration’s withdrawal of American military support from northern Syria. Erin Mendenhall was elected Salt Lake City’s mayor and Gov. Gary Herbert attempted to cut into federal public forests by petitioning the rollback of the Roadless Rule.

Main Street’s Eborn Books shuttered, homeless Utahns froze on the streets in alarming numbers and controversy erupted over a local child at Kaysville’s Creekside Elementary coming to school dressed as Adolf Hitler. Police and activists clashed during protests of the Inland Port Authority and the old Zephyr club building was torn down—nearly 17 years after its closure. And don’t forget the Utah Legislature, which balked at efforts to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment, passed an abortion “trigger law” and rammed through a major taxreform package that raised the sales tax on services and food—subsequently spawning a public referendum effort.

City Weekly welcomed Peter Holslin as news writer and later bid adieu to editor Enrique Limón. John Saltas stepped up once more as Executive Editor, Christopher Smart returned with a revamped “Smart Bomb” column and a number of CW staff were furloughed in the wake of the pandemic. Even with all this tumult and trouble, our

contributors produced memorable stories that provided needed clarity, such as Kaz Weida’s look at Utah’s clean air fight, Tara Lohan’s report on Kanab’s success fending off the fracking industry, Isaiah Portiz’s examination of the chilling effects of Utah’s Student Clubs Act, and Savannah Pace and Naomi Ward’s profile of a local adoptee discovering her Chinese birth mother.

Despite our frustrated plans and the harrowing events gripping our world, papers like ours remained in place—God willing— to keep us informed, amused and united. Heaven knows little else was.

Remembering Vol. 36: In quarantine

“The annual Utah Chinese New Year celebration is normally a time of jubilation among Salt Lake City’s Chinese American community,” Jennifer Nalewicki wrote on March 5. “But this year’s event, held at Skyline High School’s auditorium on Jan. 25, was shrouded in an aura of uncertainty.”

Organizer Xiaoming Dong told Nalewicki they almost canceled the event over ominous reports coming from overseas. “We had just heard the news from China about this brand new virus,” he said, “so there was a little bit of panic about what to do.”

They were not the only ones feeling this tension. Before long, the panic and turmoil wrought by the COVID-19 pandemic along with shaky official responses from near and far would be felt across this state, no less than it was for the rest of the world.

“School, services and hospitality are basically shut down statewide due to the coronavirus outbreak—and the real havoc is yet to come,” John Saltas reported on March 19. Conflicting messages confused the public while local clubs and restaurants purchased supplies that would, due to shutdowns, either need to be cleared out or go to waste. Discharged employees and permanent closures awaited many small businesses across the valley, and that in turn affected papers like City Weekly. (Our revenues have always risen and fallen with the health of local hospitality, clubs, events and cafes.)

“It hurts us to know that so many of our friends in the industry are in pain right now,” Saltas continued. “We’ve seen the tears. It also hurts to no end to know that any next issue could be our last. That’s our reality; if they die, we die.” By March 22, Utah’s first COVID-related death occurred

in Davis County, with hundreds of cases already tracking. The times were grim and hardly helped by the rising clamor of selfstyled patriots and conspiracy theorists who bristled at any measures to halt the spread of a disease no one fully understood.

“While the current health crisis has brought out the worst in some, it has also brought out the absolute best in many more,” Enrique Limón observed on March 26. “It’s hard to be numb when businesses and community leaders across the valley are standing up to fill the gaps left by the federal government. At every corner, it’s apparent that our roots are indeed tough. I would like to think City Weekly is also playing a small part in nurturing those roots.”

Amid so much uncertainty and with a shrinking staff, City Weekly put together a number of special issues to help readers weather the ongoing crisis. Immediately following Salt Lake County’s public health emergency order, the paper provided a special puzzle activity book for March 19; a spotlight of local “helpers” by Alex Springer for March 26; and community reports on lockdown living and support throughout the subsequent two months. Salt Lakers could do with some diversion and uplift— they too were living on a tenuous financial thread as the health crisis deepened.

“It is only a secret to our elected officials that most Americans really do live paycheck to paycheck, no matter their pay strata,” John Saltas wrote in April. Similar conditions were the experience of small businesses as well, and for both groups, the meager relief programs trickling out through federal/state/local governments were welcome but nevertheless insufficient. After all was said and done, Saltas wondered how much of the relief funds would actually go to the people and businesses hurting in this crisis, rather than the rich and well-connected. Nevertheless, in spite of the questions and problems, community welfare was paramount. “Public health wins,” he stated.

Barely a month after putting health restrictions in place, Katharine Biele reported in May, that Gov. Gary Herbert eased state enforcement, quickly followed by Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson. Biele was disgusted by the “tepid” response to the crisis and their caving to pressure from a “small but intimidating minority” of anti-mask protestors. (The less said about Utah’s in-

flated purchase of the anti-malarial drug hydroxychloroquine as a makeshift COVID cure, the better.)

“This me-me-me generation of freethinkers demand an opening of the economy because they don’t care if they get the virus,” Biele seethed in April. “Protesters apparently don’t care if you get it, because they’ve been hearing the wildly inaccurate mantra that it’s just as deadly as the flu.”

In the oven

“When you’re a housebound food writer and all the local restaurants close their dining areas,” remarked Alex Springer on April 9, “you learn to get creative.” While Springer continued to observe the takeout and delivery options offered by local eateries as the pandemic unfolded, he also looked to homemade fare. “I’m an OK cook, meaning I know how to follow a recipe without screwing it up,” he wrote. “But I also know my limitations.” Thus, he began providing homebound readers with recipes supplied by local cooks, such as pastry chef Amber Billingsley’s “Chocolate Chunk Cookies”:

—8 ounces unsalted butter

—½ cup granulated sugar

—1 cup brown sugar

—2 large eggs at room temperature

—1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

—2 ¾ cups all-purpose flour

— teaspoon baking soda

—1 teaspoon kosher salt

—8 ounces roughly chopped chocolate

Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl with a whisk and set aside. Cream butter and sugars until pale and fluffy, about five minutes. Add eggs one at a time, beating between additions to fully incorporate. Scrape bowl and mix again, adding vanilla. Add dry ingredients and chopped chocolate. Mix slowly until fully incorporated. Set dough aside in refrigerator for about 30 minutes to rest and firm up.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Scoop dough onto parchment-paper-lined sheet pans. Space a couple of inches apart—cookies spread while baking. I like to sprinkle a bit of flaky Maldon Sea Salt on top of mine before baking, so if you have it, give it a try. Bake 10-12 minutes. Check at 8 minutes because all ovens are different. I like mine deep brown around the edges and still a bit pale and soft in the middle. Let cool on the sheet pan, as the heat from the pan finishes baking the cookies CW

A&E

Bedroom Eyes

Artist Ashley M. Bautista explores her family history.

BY ARICA ROBERTS comments@cityweekly.net

Enter the poetic bedroom of Ashley M. Bautista and walk through her postmodern dreamscape, curated with objects that represent the thoughts and experiences that make up her identity. While the imagined space is incredibly vulnerable and personal to Bautista, be prepared to reflect back on your own childhood, your family and the memories that shape who you are.

The Mestizo Institute of Culture and Arts (MICA) is hosting Bautista’s exhibition Bedroom Poetry through May 18. The art installation exhibits the different aspects of Bautista: as a woman, a person of color, a child of immigrants from Mexico, a first-generation student, and as an artist. Bautista says that “the work is extremely personal. I recently moved out of my parents’ home to go to school, and I found that they were a huge part of my identity and life, which I didn’t realize until I left. I wanted to explore that part of my identity.”

For example, Bautista’s installation features a mattress in the center of the room, draped with a quilt. In reference to the caring way to say goodnight in a Spanish-speaking home, this part of the interactive exhibit is titled, “Que Sueñes Con Los Angelitos,” which translates to “sleep with the angels.” Bautista also pays homage to her parents’ life journeys before she was born. Included on the top side of the quilt is a photogram taken by Bautista of her parents lying on a bed. The process included a cyanotype process of chemical immersion and UV light exposure. Bautista explains that she “coated [the quilt] in a chemical and had my parents actually lay in the sun. So this is their imprint…it’s to scale, it’s their actual bodies.” She was inspired by the belief in the early days of photography that one’s soul is captured through the camera. On the other side of the quilt, there are curated images of her family’s archive, such as old photographs and letters belonging to her parents. These showcase different

stages of their lives, such as their wedding photo, her mother’s first residency card in the United States and her father’s first ID when he moved to Utah in the 1980s. The letters include personal correspondences with family members in Mexico. Bautista points out the intergenerational relatability of the letters. For example, correspondence between her maternal grandmother and her mother includes the complaint, “You never write me back!”; now her own mother chastises her, saying, “You never text me or call me!” This surrealist and conceptualist approach extends to the bedside table with a radio next to the mattress, representing the sound of loud music Bautista’s dad would play that would wake her up each morning.

Bautista’s exhibit is the second in a series of solo shows at Mestizo Gallery. The first exhibit from Alethia Lunares, Lagrimas, set the tone for the main goal of the gallery, which vice-chair Bianca Velasquez explains is to, “give artists who have never had a solo show—or an opportunity for one—have the opportunity to do so, and how to do it. We are mentoring them to go from here and to pitch themselves to other museums and galleries.”

While Mestizo has been around for almost 21 years and began as a West Side organization in Salt Lake City, the current gallery space only opened up in October 2023. Past events have included the annual fundraiser in September and October and a winter art market in December, both

theESSENTIALS ENTERTAINMENT

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

PICKS, APRIL 25-MAY 2, 2024

Come from Away

It has become something of a cliché to refer to Mr. Rogers’ now-oft-repeated encouragement to “look for the helpers” in times of stress and tragedy—and few occasions in modern American history needed that idea more profoundly than the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. Yet clichés bear a note of truth, and writer/composers Irene Sankoff and David Wein looked for the helpers as inspiration for their fact-based 2017 musical Come from Away, which received seven Tony Award nominations and two Drama Desk awards.

The story surrounds the events in the immediate aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks, when planes were grounded throughout North America. That decision sent multiple aircraft to unexpected destinations—including 38 aircraft landing in the small Canadian town of Gander, Newfoundland, with a total of nearly 7,000 people stranded for nearly two days. What followed was an almost heroic demonstration of hospitality, as both group shelters and individual citizens opened their homes to unexpected guests, and almost ceremonially made them honorary locals. Come from Away captures tales of people bonding over their common experiences, even as people come to terms with the reality of what transpired, and how some of them might have had their lives changed forever. Broadway at the Eccles brings the touring production of Come from Away to the Delta Hall of the Eccles Theater (131 S. Main St.) for five performances: April 26 at 8 p.m.; April 27 at 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.; and April 28 at 1 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $55 - $149 at arttix.org. (SR)

of which featured 30 works from MICA artists. In January and February a showcase titled, “Love Letters to the Westside” was held to bring attention to maintenance and activism to the West side and address accessibility issues on roadways in Fairpark.

With the help from the Chair, Horacio Rodriguez, newer Latinx artists learn about framing, spacing and marketing, including artist statements and press releases. Artists can have their launch point at the gallery, and greatly benefit from Rodriguez’s mentorship as a tenured artist.

Bautista incorporates methods and techniques she is learning through this mentorship, as well as from her Bachelor of Fine Arts at the University of Utah. For example, the exhibit is meant to be interactive, and Bautista encourages people to sit on the bed or touch the other objects to gain a stronger connection to the work and ideas presented. She also experimented with a liquid emulsion technique with film negatives onto her brother’s skateboard decks. Other aspects of the exhibit include a wall exhibit entitled “Ojos,” meaning “eyes,” showing photos of the eyes of her loved ones; photos of her mother’s plants; and an artist book with accompanying poetry.

Check out Bedroom Poetry at the Mestizo Arts Gallery located at 95 S. Rio Grande Street in The Gateway. See their Instagram page @mestizoarts_slc for upcoming events and opportunities to be involved. CW

COURTESY PHOTOS

Artist Ashley Bautista

theESSENTIALS ENTERTAINMENT

Diane Tuft: Entropy panel discussion and book launch

Artists both locally and nationally have looked to the Great Salt Lake as a kind of canary in the climate-change coal mine, examining how the threat to its very existence poses an immediate danger to humans and other life in this valley, and signals other possible changes to come. Since January, the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art has hosted Entropy, an exhibition of photography by Diane Tuft that the artist said “illustrates the ecological changes that I witnessed in the Great Salt Lake. Many areas of the lake are rapidly drying, caused by evaporation and lack of water replenishment. … It is apparent that climate change and global warming are wreaking havoc on the Great Salt Lake, which translates visually to a wonderland of beauty born of tragic consequences.”

This week, the exhibition closes with a panel discussion that also serves as a book launch for the published version of Entropy. The event continues a UMOCA series on climate change, this one examining the idea of “entropy”—the descent of things into chaos—from not just an ecological perspective, but in a range of fields. Scheduled participants in the discussion, moderated by UMOCA Curator of Exhibitions Jared Steffensen, include Tuft herself; Westminster University microbiologist Dr. Bonnie Baxter; Utah State University hydrologist/geomorphologist Dr. Patrick Belmont; and poet Nan Seymour.

The Entropy discussion and book launch takes place at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art (20 S. West Temple) on Thursday, April 25 at 6:30 p.m. The event is free to the public, but RSVP is requested; visit utahmoca.org to register, and for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

Fem Dance: As within, so without Fem Dance describes itself as a “collective that strives to represent and empower women in dance”—and that mission statement applies to a production like the current As within, so without. According to company director Alicia Ross, “This program as a whole encompasses so many perspectives and experiences of the women on the company. Our shows uniquely represent the dancers and their artistic voices, so every show will allow the audience to see, understand, and appreciate those individuals on a new level.”

As within, so without showcases three new works of contemporary dance choreographed by Ross, Jessi Stegall and Meagan O’Brien, and featuring 10 company artists performing. “Each of the pieces in this show dive deep into an emotional journey of their own,” Ross shares via email. “The opening work reflects on allurement and the various relationships a woman experiences in her life and the impacts they make. The two pieces that I choreographed for the show explore feelings of intuition and connection to the world around us, in the sense that we are both incredible and fragile beings in this life. The closing work is more introspective and focuses on coping mechanisms that we, as individuals, utilize to make sense of our emotions and choices.”

Fem Dance’s production of As within, so without comes to the Regent Street Black Box Theater at the Eccles Theater (144 Regent Street) on Friday, April 26 and Saturday, April 27 at 7:30 p.m. nightly for a 70-minute production with no intermission. Tickets are $25 general admission; visit arttix.org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

DIANE TUFT

COURTESY PHOTO

Bite into the trends, innovations and classic staples of Salt Lake's food and beverage scene.

IDINING GUIDE 2024

t’s been seven years since I took over City Weekly’s food and dining beat, and I couldn’t have asked for a better stretch of time to explore Utah’s dining scene. In that time, local foodies have seen culinary empires rise and fall in a cultural melting pot that, despite its hardships, never fails to impress. We’ve seen chefs and restaurateurs from out of state recognize Utah’s hospitality industry as a place to make a name for themselves and carve out their own turf within the Wild West of food trucks, commissary kitchens and takeout restaurants. We’ve had the opportunity to observe how so much passion, enthusiasm, conflict and struggle continue to evolve into something new, exciting and, above all, delicious.

This year’s City Weekly Dining Guide is all about that brave new world that’s just over the horizon for Utah’s food scene. We’ve set our sights on culinary innovators who are snagging James Beard nominations and challenging entrenched beliefs about what a fast-casual restaurant can do. We’re exploring the new and interesting ways local restaurateurs are approaching

the wage gap. We’ve also taken some deep dives into how Salt Lake’s plant-based restaurants manage to innovate and create plant-based versions of everything from fast-food classics to desserts. Along the way, we’ll check in on some crave-worthy burger trends and what’s next for our local mixologists.

Our 2024 Dining Guide promises to be stuffed with diverse dishes, heady cocktails, on-trend cooking and plenty of vegan options to make sure the calories don’t count—that’s how vegan food works, right? We’ll always be enamored with Utah’s food scene, and we hope this issue provides a sumptuous list of ways for you to live deliciously along the Wasatch Front.

–Alex Springer Food and dining critic

Utah’s Dining Evolution

How local restaurateurs and chefs are propelling Utah’s food scene into the future.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Long before our dining and hospitality scene endured the myriad trials and tribulations brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, Salt Lake’s food scene was evolving at a rapid pace. If anything, the lessons learned by steering a restaurant through a pandemic has galvanized our chefs and restaurateurs into an unstoppable force that is hurtling into the future faster than ever before.

At the forefront of this momentum are the culinary minds who saw the pandemic as a lens with which to view a changing landscape. Those stormy years in which they opened restaurants were opportunities to usher local dining into a brighter, tastier future. Among these visionaries were Josh Poticha, whose hip eatery Bricks Corner (1465 S. 700 East, SLC, 801-953-0636, brickscornerslc.com) introduced many of us to Detroit-style pizza; and Giuseppe Mirenda and Elsa Medina, the team behind Italian fast-casual hot spot Basta Pasteria (6157 S. State, Murray, 385-474-2093, bastapaseriaut.com).

Poticha opened Bricks Corner based on his affection for Utah’s powdery slopes; his last residence was in South Carolina. Snowboarding excursions led to a fullon relocation when he decided to bring Detroit-style pan

pizza to the Beehive State. Not only did Poticha design Bricks Corner to serve the well-being of his staff and customers—the restaurant’s HVAC system is equipped with UV filters, and three garage doors open onto the patio to improve air circulation—but he’s found some crafty ways to upgrade the restaurant’s vibes as well.

“At my previous restaurant in South Carolina, bars are the showcase, but in Utah, that creates a dilemma,” Poticha says. “So, following the DABS guidelines, we were able to make the bar a showcase using a pony wall to provide the bar vibes.”

Anyone who has visited Bricks Corner will know exactly what Poticha means here—the place feels like a pizza joint for sure, but it has all the trappings of a cool nightspot as well. What makes this vibe even better is that those who want to visit Bricks Corner with their kids won’t find themselves in an environment that isn’t suitable for all ages.

Poticha’s approach to making Bricks Corner a unique destination in Utah’s dining scene has helped break new ground on territory that was previously thought to be off-limits thanks to Utah’s archaic liquor laws. Pizza, of course, is the unifying factor in the equation; whether you’re looking for a cool nightspot to hang with some friends or a family-friendly restaurant that has something for everyone, the pizza at Bricks Corner will do the trick. But beyond that, the template that Poticha has created with Bricks Corner proves that it’s possible to feature nightspot energy in a hospitality landscape policed by the DABS.

In a similar vein, chef Giuseppe Mirenda and his wife, Elsa Medina—who share ownership of Basta Pasteria— have managed to capture the charm of a fine dining establishment behind the guise of a fast-casual concept. Diners have been buzzing about Basta since it opened late last year because the power couple who brought us Italian favorite Sicilia Mia have pushed the boundaries

of what a fast-casual concept can be in today’s dining scene. “We love fine dining and that whole experience,” Mirenda says, “But we wanted something fun that was high quality, which is why all the pasta and sauce is homemade.”

Medina adds, “We’re also parents, and sometimes it’s hard to take kids to a fine dining restaurant, but here you’re giving kids a healthy choice, and they can literally run around in here.”

Like Bricks Corner, Basta has managed to create a hybrid of restaurant spaces that cater both to Utah’s family-centric social scene and to members of the counterculture who need restaurants and bars to be reliable third spaces to spend their recreational time. “We do live DJs here on Fridays and Saturdays,” Medina says. Basta’s cocktail menu and wine selection go a long way to creating a nightspot feel, and its cozy seating arrangement is perfect for those who want to socialize while they enjoy their handcrafted Italian classics.

While the concept itself really needs to be seen to be believed, Mirenda and Medina are no strangers to trend-setting. “When Sicilia Mia first opened in 2014, there was nobody with a traditional Italian menu,” Mirenda says. “We kind of raised the bar a bit for everybody to follow.”

It’s restaurateurs like Mirenda and Medina who help put Utah on the map for culinary minds from all over the country to notice. “The more people who come from different cultures and different culinary experiences, the more enjoyable our food scene becomes,” Mirenda says. “We’re cheering for everybody.”

Whether it’s engineering a physical space to maximize coolness beneath the watchful eyes of the DABS or being bold enough to serve house-made pasta with imported Italian semolina flour at a fast-casual restaurant, it’s folks like Poticha, Mirenda and Medina who will imagine the future of Utah’s dining scene.

The Shotgun at Bricks Corner

Basta Pasteria: original pasta and pizza that people can’t get enough of

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Josh Poticha

Elsa Medina and Giuseppe Mirenda

Setting Tables, Setting Trends

Two culinary innovators reflect on thinking outside the takeout box.

BY ALEX SPRINGER

comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

One of the fun things about observing the pace at which our dining scene is evolving is seeing how confident it makes our local food and hospitality businesses. We’ve got chefs opening restaurants midpandemic, people trading up their commissary kitchen rental for a permanent space, restaurateurs turning to event catering as a side hustle and home bakers building a solid following on social media. All of this controlled chaos has spurred local innovators to step in and do something crazy like get nominated for a James Beard Award (like Urban Hill’s chef, Nick Zocco) or challenge our decades-long perspective on what a fast food burger can be (like Loco Burger’s Maria Cano).

When making a list of culinary innovators in Salt Lake, chef Nick Zocco of Urban Hill (510 S. 300 West, SLC, 385-295-4200, urban-hill.com) is showing up at the top. A New Mexico native who rose to prominence

working a successful career in Las Vegas, he boasts a résumé that includes SW Steakhouse and Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill. Eventually, he and his wife moved to Utah, where he was chef de cuisine at Tupelo before opening his own outdoor concept in Heber called Afterword.

It wasn’t long before Brooks and David Kirchheimer of Park City’s Hearth and Hill approached him about taking the reins as executive chef of Urban Hill, their Salt Lake concept that opened in December 2022. “I felt like Salt Lake was going to be this big opportunity and that something was going on here, so I really wanted to be a part of that,” Zocco says.

He definitely wasn’t wrong. After only a year and a half with Urban Hill, Chef Zocco has been nominated as a regional finalist for this year’s James Beard Awards. “It was a very humbling moment,” Zocco says, “I am super happy to be a part of that community, and it’s something I’ve always dreamed of.”

Zocco’s culinary aesthetic comes from what he calls “comfort food with an elevated touch,” a humble statement describing a foundation of European classics that incorporate notes from Asian and Mexican cuisine to ramp up the flavors. When I bring up his role as a culinary innovator, Zocco chuckles. “I think about how I can take what I’ve learned and innovate there, but I just want to understand what people are coming out to eat,” he says, “I’m innovating to help Utah diners experience something they’ve never had, and also help visitors from out of town see that Utah has restaurant quality that could exist in metropolitan cities.”

As important as chefs like Nick Zocco are to the invigoration of our fine dining scene, we’ve also been fortunate to have restaurateurs like Maria Cano, co-owner of Loco Burger (1702 S. Main, SLC, 801-386-2875, locoburger.com), helping to further diversify our casual dining landscape. Loco Burger’s rapid success has led to a second location in Kearns, and its efforts to bring

a Mexican-style burger to the Wasatch Front have emboldened Hispanic restaurateurs to enrich our food communities with regional flavors from all over South America.

When I ask Cano why the Loco Burger concept has gained such traction, she refers to Eva Longoria’s 2023 film Flamin’ Hot. “American burgers have been around for a long time, and we’re just putting a Mexican spin on it,” Cano says, “We’re the Flamin’ Hot cheeto of the burger industry—the extra kick that everyone has been waiting for, and no one has done.”

My first experience with a Mexican burger—think of it like a torta with a flame-grilled burger patty—was at Loco Burger, and I would bet that I’m not the only one who has benefited from Loco Burger’s concept. Bringing a Mexican-inspired burger with sides and sweets inspired by Mexican traditions and flavors into a market overflowing with American fast-food joints is innovative on so many levels.

Loco Burger’s success has paved the way for other concepts, and it’s helped other members of the Latino community want to share their cuisine with others. “As a whole, I’m seeing a lot of Hispanics bringing their gastronomy here, and the Mexican cuisine has extended out a bit, too,” Cano says, “With a lot of culture coming in and spreading out, Salt Lake might turn into a place like Chicago or Los Angeles.”

With a food scene that encompasses culinary innovation on the fine dining and casual ends of the spectrum, it’s becoming easier to recognize Utah as an up-andcoming gastronomic scene. When you think about the how the landscape looked even 10 years ago, our local chefs, restaurateurs, barkeeps, brewers and bakers have helped local dining grow by leaps and bounds. From award winners like Nick Zocco to passionate restaurateurs like Maria Cano, taking a stroll through our evolving food scene is more exciting than ever. CW

Smoked salmon avocado toast at Urban Hill

The ‘Super’ Loco burger— it’s got allthe meats!

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JACQUE LYNN

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Urban Hill chef Nick Zocco

“I bet once you get rung up and sales tax is added, and then a tip is asked for, and you’re tipping 50 cents or a dollar—I bet we’re the same. Yeah, even a little bit cheaper.”

—Nick Price, Three Pines Coffee

What’s in a Wage?

Some local establishments rethink the way service-industry staff are compensated.

BY ERIN MOORE

comments@cityweekly.net

“What’s your incentive for doing your job well? That’s a crazy question that you would not ask anyone else who has a job,” says Rylee Syme, general manager of The Rose Establishment.

She’s referring to a question that often follows that one: What would happen if service workers didn’t have to work to supplement their very low minimum hourly wage by earning tips from customers? We checked in with some local businesses that are asking that question and enacting some changes when it comes to compensation.

When Nick Price decided to go “no-tip” at his downtown shop, Three Pines Coffee (165 S. Main, SLC, 805-395-8907, threepinescoffee.com), he consulted with friends from The Rose—Syme and owner Erica O’Brien—who went no-tip in 2021. When he made the change in January of this year, it made national news— which speaks to how in-the-moment the service-industry wage issue is.

But if there’s one thing that customers hate more than tipping, it’s when their coffee isn’t as cheap as they think it should be. “We do have a lot of people coming

through who look up at the menu, and they kind of just turn around and walk away, and I can only assume that they’re like, ‘Wow, these prices are high,’” says Price.

At Three Pines, however, the price of a drink includes what it takes to raise employees’ minimum wage to $18 an hour.

Comparing a latte at his shop to what it may cost elsewhere, he points out, “I bet once you get rung up and sales tax is added, and then a tip is asked for, and you’re tipping 50 cents or a dollar—I bet we’re the same. Yeah, even a little bit cheaper,” Price muses.

Price maintains that he thinks no-tip should be the future—for coffee, anyway. “I feel like it’s wrong of most cafes and businesses to put the burden onto the customer of covering the wages of the employees,” he says. “Most” is the key word here.

The Rose Establishment (235 S. 400 West, SLC, 801208-5569, theroseestb.com) is more café than coffee shop, with a full dine-in menu. Because of this, they didn’t integrate the cost of higher wages into their prices. Instead, there’s an 18% service charge at checkout, and an option to tip between 1% and 3%. Syme and O’Brien set it up this way to avoid the kind of “sticker shock” effect that has since higher prices may have made people walk out of Three Pines.

After reopening in 2021 with this model, The Rose did initially lose some servers who missed their rush-time tip bounties. But the servers who like it, they say, stay. Syme and O’Brien are passionate about their model, but like Price, acknowledge that it may not be as realistic for bars or high-volume restaurants, where a higher wage could never match the enormity of a good tip night.

Felt, a new fine dining-cocktail bar on Main Street downtown (341 S. Main, SLC, feltslc.com), is both raising the bar and its server wages. Owners Rich Romney (formerly of Takashi) and Travis Herbert (who has

opened Fleming’s restaurants globally) opened this Japanese-American restaurant with the goal of creating an environment where servers and bartenders could thrive, learn and grow in the industry.

Over the past 30 years in Salt Lake City and beyond, both owners have washed dishes, bussed tables, bartended, served, managed or cooked on the line. They know an essential ingredient to running a restaurant efficiently is contented, and therefore reliable, staff.

“We’ve seen so many places that build it up, build it up, build it up. And then you go in, and it’s a big disappointment,” Romney says, referring to Felt’s intentionally quiet opening. “We definitely wanted to avoid that, and with our staff in mind, we don’t want to have them just get overwhelmed.”

When it comes to the no-tip concept, Romney notes that he’s seen other restaurants “paying their servers or bartenders a better wage, you know, $20 an hour or something like that—but, for example, for the servers of Takashi, $20 an hour doesn’t even touch what they’re actually making in tips.”

That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for restaurants like Felt to shuffle things around, though. “As a server or bartender who worked just for tips, if you aren’t careful, all of a sudden, tax time hits and you owe $5,000, $6,000, $7,000 that you didn’t save up for,” Romney says. So, Felt’s servers make $5 an hour, and the bartenders between $5 and $10, instead of $2.13, Utah’s standard. As Romney points out, “It’s still mostly going to taxes, but it covers a lot more.”

A small contribution it may seem, but for anyone who has worked for tips, it means something. It also inspires the question: If a brand-new restaurant can make such adjustments to a fledgling budget, what’s to stop any other business from taking a hard look at their own numbers, and seeing where there’s room to grow?

DREAMSTIME

Bun for the Money

From classic to creative, these Utah burgers are worth every penny.

BY AIMEE L. COOK comments@cityweekly.net

The all-American burger: a symphony of savory perfection between two buns. But with countless variations on this classic theme, how do you know where to find the best bite? I receive many requests for where to eat the best burger—it might even be an obsession of mine. I have been on this delicious quest across the city, sinking my teeth into juicy patties, melted cheeses and creative toppings. From fine dining establishments to old-school burger shacks, prepare to have your burger cravings satisfied.

Copper Onion (111 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-355-3282, thecopperonion.com): Since chef/owner Ryan Lowder opened his doors in 2010, the Copper Onion burger ($18) has been a staple on the menu. Created by Lowder himself, the burger is a delicious combination of flavors and textures. It’s not overly complicated, just really good. “It’s simple, straightforward and not pretentious,” Lowder said. “You have to start with good meat and a quality bun. Red wine-cooked onions provide the acid pop, cheddar is a burger’s best friend and iceberg is what every burger should have. I hate fancy burgers. That was kept in mind from A to Z.”

What’s between the bun? Grass-fed beef, caramelized onion, duck fat aioli. Add cheddar ($1) and bacon ($3), because you can. Or live dangerously and order the Heart Stopper Burger shown above.

Franck’s Restaurant (6263 E. Holladay Blvd., Holladay,

801-274-6264, francksfood.com): Chef Rob Perkins has been creating unique hamburgers as a Thursday Burger Special since 2017. Coming up with different flavor profiles every week may seem like a daunting task, but Perkins knocks it out of the park. Watch for the burger that started it all to hit the menu—the Root Beer Float Burger ($25)—and always make a reservation to reserve your burger, as he makes limited quantities.

“I’m generally not a dessert person, but I’ll never turn down a root beer float,” said Perkins. “One day, I was braising beef cheek in root beer for our tasting menu. I decided to make a garlic-vanilla bean aioli to compliment the cheek. As soon as I tasted it, I got chills because it took me back to my childhood. When I decided to start doing a super unique burger each week, I said ‘we’re going to start this thing off with a bang.’ ... It quickly became a favorite and is requested often. I do the Root Beer Float Burger once per year; it’s the only burger I’ve done more than once.”

What’s between the bun? You’ll find wagyu sirloin burger, root beer braised shallot, Gruyere cheese, vanilla-glazed chicken skin, tarragon zucchini pickles, raw sweet onion and vanilla garlic mayo.

Salt City Burger Co. (9176 Village Shop Drive, Sandy, 801-495-4111, saltcityburgerco.com): It was born from the creative minds of Denice and Mike Osterloh (19632021), a spark of nostalgia combined with a modern twist. Mike cherished childhood memories of savoring thick, delectable chocolate malts at Snelgrove’s. His father’s own establishment— Fred’s Burger Chalet, founded in 1960 in the heart of Sugar House—further fueled his passion for irresistible flavors. With the closures of these cherished spots, the Osterlohs hoped to recapture the magic. They envisioned a haven where one could indulge in both delicious, quality burgers and rich, creamy shakes. Thus, Salt City Burger Co. came to life.

At Salt City Burger Co., you become the maestro of your meal. With an array of toppings, you can craft the burger (classic burger at $9.79) of your dreams, down to the last detail. And, to make the experience more de-

lightful, every burger is accompanied by unlimited fries.

“We could never find a place that satisfied our craving, so we decided to open our own burger place with Fred’s Burger Chalet’s original grill and made malts the old-fashioned way,” said Denice. “We improved Fred’s burger by grinding our meat in-house to give the customers the freshest burger possible.”

What’s between the bun? Freshly ground beef (or chicken) and all the toppings you can fit your mouth around.

Patty Shack (1207 W. 4800 South, Taylorsville, 385474-6167, pattyshack.com): Forget fancy frills and gourmet gimmicks. At Patty Shack, burgers are an art form mastered on a well-seasoned flat top. Although they serve several variations, the Patty Daddy ($16) will get the job done.

“When we came up with it, we were thinking about doing some kind of a signature burger,” said Justin Newbold, owner. “We were bouncing around names and my teenage son, Ayden, said you should name it the Patty Daddy. It was catchy, so we went with that.”

What’s between the bun? Three beef patties, three slices of melted American cheese, bacon, grilled pastrami and your choice of toppings, all piled high.

Glitretind at Stein Eriksen Lodge (7700 Stein Way, Park City, 435-645-6455, steinlodge.com): Mountain scenery and crisp air bring out the best in a burger. Whether it’s a patty sizzling on a grill at a summer cookout or a steaming masterpiece savored in a cozy Alpenglobe after a winter adventure, few things satisfy more than a juicy burger. But to add a touch of magic courtesy of the breathtaking alpine scenery, head to Stein Eriksen Lodge and sink your teeth into a Stein’s Burger ($26). “A great burger does not need a lot of ingredients—just key components done well,” said Zane Holmquist, corporate chef. “It’s been a classic at Stein’s for 24 years, and I think this is because of its simplicity and its quality ingredients.”

What’s between the bun? You’ll find a hefty half pound of Black Angus top round beef, aged white cheddar cheese and crispy fried onions. CW

The Heart Stopper Burger at Copper Onion

Stein’s Burger at the Glitretind at Stein Eriksen Lodge AIMEE COOK COURTESY PHOTO

Vegan Innovations

Skill, experiments and patience result in plantbased alternatives to great comfort foods.

BY AMANDA ROCK comments@cityweekly.net

From Buddhist monks creating mock meats centuries ago to the plethora of meat and dairy analogs lining grocery store shelves today, vegans have a rich history of ingenious eats. Plant-based restaurants and bakeries are becoming increasingly popular in Salt Lake City, and they all deserve recognition for their innovative dishes.

Since I couldn’t take over the Dining Issue entirely with my passion for vegan food, I’ve narrowed it down to include one business from each major food group: meatless meats, fancy vegan cheese and chocolate.

Vegan Daddy Meats

If you’re craving a Classic Beef ‘n Cheddar sandwich, but don’t want to eat a cow, this is your kind of place. Vegan Daddy is all about re-creating omnivorous comfort food, “without the animal cruelty, impact on personal health and environmental destruction,” says chef and owner Adam Diener.

Nostalgic for the foods he missed after becoming vegan, Diener started experimenting with seitan (a meat substitute made from wheat gluten) when he was 15. “It took a lot of trial and error for each of my recipes,” he says. “I’ve always loved cooking, and there are so many possibilities when working with wheat gluten.”

After perfecting his vegan meats, Salt Lake City’s vegan butcher set up shop serving meatless versions of wings, meaty sandwiches and killer sides. Try the Varby’s Beaf and Cheddar sandwich, for example, where thinly sliced “beaf” is doused with house-made vegan cheese sauce and served on a fresh onion roll. Delicious! Stop by Vegan Daddy to scratch that comfort food itch, and pick up some vegan meats to enjoy at home. 569 N. 300 West, K102, Salt Lake City 385-315-2177

vegandaddymeats.com

Seasons Plant-Based Kitchen

If you haven’t tried Seasons Plant-Based Kitchen’s dairy-free cheeses, you’re in for a treat. Sharp and tangy, their spreadable cheeses are an impressive addition to a charcuterie board and just as delicious scooped up with Triscuits standing in front of the fridge. Choose from Fromage Blanc, Cheddar, Provolone and Mozzarella.

“Giving up cheese can be, for many, the hardest thing to move away from when transitioning to a plant-based lifestyle,” admits James MacDonald, owner and chef at Seasons Plant-Based Kitchen. “We noticed a gap in the market for premium vegan cheese. With all the knowledge and experience I have gained over the years in the kitchen, I wanted to provide a product that closed that gap.”

Developing a premium vegan cheese is no small feat. The secret is fermentation to give the cheese the bite and umami lacking in other plant-based cheeses. MacDonald says there was plenty of research (and failure), but his hard work paid off.

Taste it for yourself; they ship their cheese nationwide. If you’re local, you have to check out their restaurant. Order the Cheese Tasting featuring Provolone and Almond-Herb rolled Fromage Blanc served with crostini. There are plenty of other dairy-free dishes on their menu worth trying, too. Seasons Plant-Based Kitchen also serves pizza, pasta and dessert.

916 S. Jefferson St. No. B, Salt Lake City 385-267-1922

seasonsslc.com

Unicorn Chocolates

Unicorn Chocolates are a treat for the senses. Each distinctly flavored chocolate is a piece of art that tastes as good as it looks. “When someone opens a box of Unicorn Chocolates, we want the colorful designs to elicit a huge smile, and the thought that they’re just too beautiful to eat,” says Gregory Neil, who owns the business along with his wife, Judy.

When the couple started making chocolates for holiday gifts, their friends saw a business opportunity. And so did they. Artisan vegan chocolates were hard to find in Salt Lake City. They got to work veganizing family recipes and taking classes to learn artisanal decorating techniques. Their daughter, meanwhile, got to work designing their cute, colorful unicorn logo.

“Flavor is the most important element for us,” says Gregory. “Judy is a big foodie, and comes up with the bulk of the ideas.” Mango Sticky Rice, Strawberry Prickly Pear and Tamarind Black Sesame are a few examples of the unique flavors offered by Unicorn Chocolates. This layering of flavors will blow your mind. “We currently mix and match with pâte de fruit, gianduja (a mixture of chocolate and hazelnut paste) and fondant fillings,” says Gregory.

As for the ingredients, only the finest will do. “Using the very best chocolate has always been a priority. We’ve been using local award-winning bean-to-bar manufacturers like Ritual and Solstice.”

Unicorn Chocolates ships nationwide. You can also pick up website orders from their Holladay home, or venture out to Sweet Hazel & Co. (282 W. 7200 South, Midvale, see p. 24). unicornchocolates.com

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The Sweet Vegan Bliss of Sweet Hazel

BY LILY SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net

As someone who grew up totally vegan for the first decade of my life, I’ve loved seeing the explosion of veg-friendly options available in Utah Valley in recent years. Sweet Hazel & Co. (282 W. 7200 South, Midvale, 801-889-1466, sweethazelandco.com) has become a staple since my wife and I came across its original incarnation as a 100% plant-based candy shop, and doubly so since Chef Fee reopened Sweet Hazel as a full bakeshop and bistro in 2022.

In spite of the fact that I’ve long since lost count of the number of times I’ve visited Sweet Hazel, it’s one of those golden locations where I can say not one visit or menu item has ever been a miss. I don’t know exactly what vegan sorcery goes on behind the scenes in their kitchens, but they’ve gotten down to a science the art of crafting hearty, filling vegan comfort food without any of the textures or aftertastes that proclaim the lack of animal products on the ingredient list a little too loudly.

The bistro menu features an array of breakfast, brunch and lunch options reminiscent of comforting local diners. My current personal favorite is the Ranch Chick’n Sandwich ($16), featuring a crispy “chick’n” patty with lettuce and tomato on a buttery toasted bun. The sandwich is elevated by a generous dollop of thick house-made ranch dressing and slices of Umaro bacon (made from red seaweed!), adding a salty, fatty, crunchy perfection that would convince even the most contrarian carnivore.

Perhaps most astonishing, however, is the array of entirely plant-based sweets

Sweet Hazel proffers. From candy bars to cinnamon rolls, the vegan sweet tooth is loved and cared for here. However, the mini cakes, hovering around the $8 range, are on another level. With a wide array of flavors ranging from lemon raspberry to chai tres leches, these mini cakes more than hold their own against, and sometimes even outshine, full-dairy desserts. The cakes are moist and delicate with a pronounced crumb texture, and topped with a whipped cream that I find indistinguishable from the real thing. There’s no overpowering coconut flavor or odd oily aftertaste—just pure, creamy vegan bliss. CW

Sweet Hazel & Co.’s Ranch Chick’n Sandwich

LILY SPRINGER

VOTED SLC #1

pizza and deep dish. Utah Award winning chef owned neighborhood family pizzeria and bar.

A ‘Plum Job’ at The Pearl

Beyond the Booze

The art of mixology, where creativity and culinary brilliance collide.

BY AIMEE L. COOK comments@cityweekly.net

In dimly lit lounges and bustling bars around the globe, skilled mixologists are elevating the drinking experience to an art form. With a shaker in hand and an arsenal of ingredients, these drink artists are pushing the boundaries of traditional cocktails and presenting an exquisite fusion of flavors, aesthetics and methods.

The art of mixology is much more than just mixing spirits and garnishes. It is a meticulous craft blending creativity, taste, appearance and culinary technique to create an experience that delights all the senses.

The intersection of mixology and culinary art is perhaps most evident in the modern-day emphasis on gastronomy in cocktail-making. Kyle Maxfield (IG: @kyle_ maxfield) at The Pearl Bar & Kitchen (917 S. 200 West, SLC) focuses on integrating the kitchen using sous vide, immersion blenders and more to capture and extract flavors and introduce multi-sensory drinking elements beyond taste and sight.

“The more I tried things [after turning 21], the more I wanted to. Everything tasted different,” Maxfield said. “I spent five years making cocktails at home, educating myself and sharing with friends. In 2022, I took a job in a bar downtown and realized I loved it. I like to flip cocktails on their heads, inspire drinks from different regions and take an original cocktail and try it with different ingredients.”

What to try? Maxfield’s variation of a daiquiri, which uses makrut lime syrup, Luxardo (to add floral notes) and a rosé float.

Mixology demands a delicate balance between innovation and respect for traditional recipes. Mixologists like Seth Carraway at Wood * Ash * Rye (25 W. St. George Blvd., St. George, 435-522-5020, theadvenirehotel.com/wood-ash-rye-restaurant) experiment with an expansive palette of ingredients, using exotic herbs and bespoke spirits to craft a narrative in every glass served.

“I started as a bartender back, and slowly made drinks when things were slow. Shortly after, they gave me one night a week as a bartender, and I worked my way up to head bartender/mixologist,” Carraway says.

FESTIVAL May 18 • Moab

Tickets and info

utahbeerfestival.com/moab

Our Würst Is Best!

20 W. 200 S. SLC

(801) 355-3891 • siegfriedsdelicatessen.com

Reagan Chung, beverage director for Handle in Park City

“I think presentation is the No. 1 thing that will set a great cocktail apart,” Carraway says. “You can have a drink that tastes good, but people might not want to drink it if it looks boring or dull. If you make a drink that looks appealing, people will be more enthusiastic about trying it, and it will elevate their expectations.”

What to try? The W.A.R. Valley Tan, with High West Rendezvous Rye, Alpine Traveler’s Rest Malt Whiskey, juniper ash honey syrup, black lemon bitters and cedar smoke.

At the heart of cocktail innovation at Handle (136 Heber Ave., Park City, 435-6021155, handleparkcity.com) is award-winning mixologist and beverage director Reagan Chung (IG @rd_craft_cocktails), who has redefined traditional mixology boundaries. Known for his inventive use of unconventional ingredients, Chung states, “I like working with customers and having people enjoy my drinks. A cocktail can have all the craziest techniques and ingredients, but if it doesn’t taste good, that is all wasted.”

His winning cocktail, the “Gin,” incorporates rhubarb-honey syrup and olive oil, creating a sensory experience that is bold and ephemeral. This creation highlights his skill in balancing flavors and showcases his commitment to pushing the envelope in cocktail craftsmanship. “I like to make cocktails with at least a couple ingredients that people are familiar with and can understand and then a few that are really unique,” Chung added. “That will help ease people into the things you want to showcase.”

For a restaurant and bar in a hotel, the Laurel Brasserie (Grand America, 55 S. Main, 801-258-6708, laurelslc.com) has quickly become a destination for locals. An approachable food menu gives way to an approachable beverage program led by mixologist Bojan Filipovic (@bojanfilipovic023). His philosophy puts taste at the pinnacle. Combining sweet, sour, bitter and salty in perfect harmony is a skill that mixologists refine over countless hours behind the bar. Engaging all elements of taste ensures a complex and memorable drinking experience, where the initial sip is as exciting as the last.

“I like using fresh fruits,” Filipovic said. “The tartness and sugar from the fruit, combined with liquors and squeezed citrus and base spirits and herbs, add an extra level of freshness. I usually have seven to ten ingredients in my cocktails, so they are very complex. They create an explosion of flavors in your mouth.”

What to try? The Boujee Spritz created with Grey Goose vodka, Chambord liqueur, fresh blueberries, raspberries, freshly squeezed lime juice, organic agave, cranberry juice, mint leaves, and François Montand French sparkling wine.

BLAKE PETERSON

Seth Adams always wanted to have a bar in his Park City restaurant, Riverhorse, so when the space below the restaurant that is now Palomino (540 Main St., Ste. B, Park City, 435-649-3536, palominoparkcity.com) became available, they snagged it. Adams’ vision was for an upscale cocktail bar serving culinary forward drinks, champagnes and wine; he calls it “the adult bar.” Fresh juices are made daily; house-made buffalo jerky serves as a garnish for Adams’ favorite drink, the Seamstress. Adams and his crew come up with cocktail ideas, and everyone tries them and weighs in. Presentation is just as important as taste. “This is more of a team effort,” Adams said. “At Riverhorse, we are an extended family. Everyone’s opinion matters.”

What to try? The Steamstress: Alpine gin, fresh heirloom tomato juice, St. Germain, fire bitters, peppercorn and house-made buffalo jerky.

Spirit Education by Jim Santangelo

Mixing Drinks | Cocktails & Techniques

Jim Santangelo—spirits educator, connoisseur in the world of mixology and founder of the Wine Academy of Utah (IG: @wineacademyofut)—has devoted years to studying and teaching the intricacies of spirits, their histories and how they can be harmoniously combined to create groundbreaking cocktails. His educational programs have illuminated the paths for aspiring mixologists, emphasizing the technical aspects of cocktail creation and the passion and artistry underpinning the profession. Through his workshops and classes, Santangelo inspires a new generation to view mixology not just as a job but as a creative and fulfilling career.

“I inherited the beverage program [in 2010] while working in a restaurant as a sommelier,” said Santangelo. “I realized then that cocktails and whiskeys were becoming more popular in handcrafted drinks. I brought my knowledge and appreciation of wine regions and different flavor profiles into the bar. A strong drink doesn’t make it a good drink; balance makes it a good drink.”

His 90-minute presentation titled “Mixing Drinks” demystifies the art of making a balanced drink. It covers a review of primary spirits, techniques for crafting cocktails, an overview of bar equipment and plenty of tasting! This session aims to equip participants with the knowledge and skills to elevate their mixology prowess. Register at wineacademyofutah.com CW

Jim Santangelo

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Tree Room and Sugar House Distillery Host Multi-course Dinner

Sundance Resort’s Tree Room restaurant will be joining forces with Sugar House Distillery for a six-course dinner on April 29. Tree Room Chef Diane Davidson has prepared a gorgeous menu crafted in tandem with some signature spirits from Sugar House Distillery. The menu looks ideal for a spring dinner set against the rustic background of Sundance Resort: charcuterie, aged Wagyu tartar and sous vide lamb loin are just a few of the courses that diners will enjoy. The event will feature a chef’s only tasting menu, along with a full experience that combines small-batch samples from Sugar House Distillery. The event lasts from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., and tickets can be purchased at sundanceresort.com.

Patio Dining at Copper Canyon Grill House and Tavern

As the temperature starts to climb in downtown SLC, comfy patio dining starts to become a major draw to dining out. The team at Copper Canyon Grill House and Tavern recently opened its patio (215 W. South Temple), which will be heated just in case our Utah winter decides it’s not quite done with us. Based on Copper Canyon’s proximity to most of downtown’s major venues, it’s a great spot to meet up before checking out an event at the Delta Center or a concert at Metro Music Hall. On top of that, their menu features all kinds of goodies like grilled avocado, bacon popcorn or a pan-fried Utah trout for something more substantial.

Kings Feast at Price City Renaissance Fair

Anyone making the sojourn to the Price City Renaissance Fair this weekend will want to check out the Kings Feast on April 26. This is being billed as a VIP event featuring a multi-course meal, live music, fire dancers and some good, old-fashioned hand-to-hand combat. Any trip to a renaissance fair wouldn’t be complete without ripping apart a Cornish game hen with your fingers, drinking from fancy goblets and watching brave combatants joust the night away to thunderous applause. The event tends to sell out rather quickly, so make sure you’re booking your Kings Feast experience as soon as possible, milord.

Quote of the Week: “Food should be fun.”

–Thomas Keller

Ramen & Sushi Bar

2 Row Brewing

6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Midnight Especial- Dark Mexican Lager

Bewilder Brewing 445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap:  Irish Lager

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: Boho Extra Dry Lager

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Mesogose - Miso Sour with Yuzu & Ginger

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Gungan Sith Lord - Dark Lager

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  La Playa-Mexican Style lager

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Horchata Cream Ale

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer 159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Guava Goddess

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

On Tap: Limited Release IPACitra & Nelson Hops - 7.0% ABV

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, S. Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Our brand new Helles!

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST 550 So. 300 West #100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Philly Sour Fruit Bat

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Bulliet Bourbon barrelaged Brown

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Pomme Paloma- Grapefruit & Hopped Cider collab with Pink Boots Society

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Park City Brewery 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: Jalapeno Ale

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: Cached Out Hefeweisen -- Now available to go!

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

Proper Brewing: SLC Pils - Pilsner

Proper Burger: Salted Caramel Porter - Porter Brewed with Caramel and Salt

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: YRJB - Juicy IPA

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State

Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Draft: 7 C’s (IPA brewers with 7 ‘C’ Hops for our 7th Anny, April 20)

Brewers Select: MEGA Cloud Seeding Hazy IPA

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Pineapple Sour Seltzer

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake

SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Chocolate cherry stout on draft

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Luau Rider - Coconut Chocolate Milk Stout

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Scion Oaked Strangler 7.1% ABV ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek secondsummitcider.com

On Tap: White Sangria Cider

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake

ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Foggy Goggle

Winter Lager

Live Music:  Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blonde Ale

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/

squatters

On Tap:  S Salt Lake Brewing Co’s Staycation Pilsner

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Holy Haze IPA 5% Love Local new release April 26

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap:  Easy Rider: Blackberry Amber Lager collab with Proper Brewing Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Flyin’ Shoes: Rye Kellerbier

TF Brewing

936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Japanese Style Rice Lager

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: The Griffen- Citrus Wheat Ale in collaboration with the 419th at Hill AFB

Top of Main Brewing 250 Main, Park City, Utah topofmainbrewpub.com

On Tap: Top of Main’s Coalition Hellfire Chili Pepper Ale

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG

2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Golden Grant 5% ABV.

Vernal Brewing

55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch Brew Pub

2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ wasatch

On Tap:  Top of Main’s Mother Urban’s Parlor Blonde Ale

Zion Brewery

95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez

205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

BEER NERD

New Takes on Old Styles

Alternative hops enhance classic beers

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

This week, we have two local beers that are new takes on old styles. The hops used are newer varieties that aren’t usually associated with these particular styles. Do they work? Ultimately you will decide, but here are my impressions of these two new brews.

Ogden Beer - Master of None: This new-style American pilsner features Magnum and Adeena hops. Look for herbal and spicy flavor characteristics, with light floral, lemon and pine notes.

It’s beautiful pouring beer—bright crystal-clear gold. As it pours, the most beautiful bubbles form so quickly, and in such quantity, and just as quickly float to the top and make the beautiful white head that you see pictured. The nose on this beer is so nice; it has such a refreshing and snappy smell, redolent of some citrus, grassy, pepper, water crackers and the glorious warm spring days to come.

This is on an extremely clean and crisp base, with light dough notes. The palate opens clean, crisp and lightly oily, lemony, minty, a little herbal and with some earthiness as well. A touch of sweet hop character emerges, along with dough, towards a clean, snappy finish.

Verdict: An absolutely delicious lager. This is not my first experience with Adeena hops, but for some reason they really shine in the lager. Adeena were made for lagers, adding some new flavors with old. It works so well in beers like this.

take on the west coast style brewed with Citra Hops from the Pacific Northwest and Nelson Hops from Clayton farms in New Zealand. Brewed with over threeand-a-half pounds of hops per barrel, this beer is sure to satisfy hop-heads. It pours an unfiltered golden yellow, with orange highlights. There’s a huge, dense off-white head that fades slowly, leaving some chunky lacing as it does. Lacing is average, and it creates a fine web of foam that easily marks the glass as you drink away, kinda like rings in a tree. A good sniff shows some really nice tropical and white wine notes, with some very slight bitterness. I get mango, passionfruit, white grapes—very fruitforward, rich but not with that overripe/ dank fruit character.

This IPA starts with more pronounced sauvignon blanc notes of bright fruit acidity when I first crack the can. Some melon flavors creep in next, with some sweeter tropical notes lurking closely behind, coming out more as it’s warmed in the glass. Minor flavors consisting of mango, pineapple and passionfruit are floating around in there as well. The angle here is fruit, with a medium amount of bitterness. This is a West Coast IPA, so bitterness should be part of the game plan and I’m glad hop dryness is present here. I think this delivers as a WCIPA, though I’m not picking up much from the 7.0 percent ABV (which is fine by me). Medium body, medium carbonation—pretty smooth and crushable.

Verdict: A very delicious take on a West Coast style IPA. This doesn’t taste like previous Kiitos offerings, and definitely stands on its own. If this is a sign that things are changing over at Kiitos, I’m all for it, and I’m really looking forward to the next beer iterations.

Cans of the Limited Release India Pale Ale are available at Kiitos to take home; you can’t enjoy this 7.0 percent ale at the bar, because Kiitos just has a beer tavern license (only beer 5.0 percent and lower).

The Master of None lager is on draft at Ogden Beer Co. in Ogden, and is a limited release—definitely worth the trip. As always, cheers! CW

MIKE RIEDEL MIKE RIEDEL

REVIEW

Mixed Throuples

Challengers offers an unconventional suggestion that its romantic triangle should stay that way.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Studio filmmaking has been, unsurprisingly, slow to recognize the reality that romantic stories don’t only come in one “boy meets girl” size. Love stories are one of the foundational pieces of cinema history, but it’s only been within the past 10 –15 years that anything outside of niche arthouse fare has been willing to acknowledge that “boy meets boy” and “girl meets girl” are also things that happen in the world, and with some regularity. So yeah, not particularly shocking that Hollywood has been skittish about anything that could be construed as “boy and boy meet girl.”

That is, however, the juice that fuels Challengers, a propulsive mix of sports drama and romantic drama that picks perhaps the ideal sport in tennis—one that we’re most used to seeing as a one-on-one scenario, but which can also take on other configurations—as its backdrop. Director Luca Guadagnino and writer Justin Kuritzkes provide a foundation for three great performances to explore how you might find that your “better half” is a better two halves.

It opens in more or less the present day, with the finals of a low-level pro tennis tournament in upstate New York. The participants in that finals, however, make it more interesting than it might otherwise be. Art Donaldson (Mike Faist) is a veteran tour champion who has hit a bad streak, and is trying to get his confidence back; Patrick Zweig (Josh O’Connor) is Art’s onetime doubles partner, whose career never lived up to his talent and who finds him-

CINEMA

self living out of his car. And sitting in the stands at center court is Tashi (Zendaya), the once-promising star whose career was cut short by injury, and who has a complicated history with both of them. The narrative soon backtracks 13 years to the point when Art, Patrick and Tashi are all 17-year-olds on the juniors circuit, part of a structure that repeatedly darts back and forth in the chronology. It’s a somewhat risky move, but it proves brilliant at setting up the stakes of the present-day showdown between Art and Patrick, each subsequent revelation about the complex dynamic of this trio adding to the tension. It’s also a great way to develop character, and the three principals all nail their characters. Zendaya’s the fiery apex of this triangle, and she has a perfect sense for the kind of alpha competitor Tashi was, and how she attempts to re-direct that drive once she can no longer play herself. O’Connor oozes charisma as Patrick, but also captures the arrogance of a scion of privilege lacking the discipline to maxi-

mize his ability. And Faist has the complicated task of bringing to life a character who by design lacks the force of personality both Tashi and Patrick have—someone who’s happy to make tennis his career, but not the only thing in his life that matters.

What Challengers pulls off is showing why there always seems to be something off when any two of these characters are paired off in a configuration that omits the third. Tashi has the work ethic and the killer instinct, Patrick has the raw talent, and Art has the steadying personality, and it becomes increasingly clear that the only thing that creates friction between them is their inability to realize that they all belong together. Luca Guadagnino is certainly no stranger to overseeing unconventional romantic stories—like Call Me By Your Name, or the cannibal love story of Bones and All—and it’s part of his gift that he can tell this story without judgment.

It’s also part of Guadagnino’s approach to Challengers that he goes all-in on big visuals, and an accompanying big score by

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. When there’s a scene involving a secretive rendezvous, it takes place during a raging storm and in slow motion, like a perfume commercial with the wind machine cranked up to hurricane force. And the climactic set of the big showdown match includes every conceivable camera placement, from a ball’s-eye-view to underneath the feet of the competitors. It all proves to be a touch distracting, but only because the drama on the court doesn’t really demand so many bells and whistles to create excitement. Everything we need to build the sense of what matters in this match comes from the characters themselves, and from the hope that this happily ever after might involve a mixed throuple. CW

CHALLENGERS

BBB ½ Zendaya

Josh O’Connor

Mike Faist

Rated R

Available April 26 in theaters

FEATURE MUSIC

Happy Happy

Joy Joy

The Glitter Bombs create music built on positive energy.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

It’s important to have something you can escape into. Whether it’s media, hobbies, spending time with loved ones or all of the above, you have to find things that make you happy during tough times—which these certainly are.

That’s where bands like The Glitter Bombs come in. This is a group that loves what they do, loves sharing their music with people, leading to smiles all around.

The Glitter Bombs started, like many other projects in the last few years, during the pandemic. Vocalist Missy Stone and guitarist John McCool met through BandMix, and began doing some socially distanced jamming together. “It just seemed natural, and we started out just writing songs in the backyard, six feet apart. I think because of COVID, it was a little slow start, but we could see potential there. After time, we realized we had some songs,” McCool said.

“It was a tender and slow and sweet time to get to know each other, but definitely writing and singing and playing in the backyard six feet apart in the sunshine in masks,” Stone added. “It was just such a unique experience, but we definitely saw a lot of potential and started slowly working our way indoors and piecing it together and then integrated Jason, our drummer, about a year after working on things.”

The name took a bit of time to come to mind, as it tends to when it comes to naming a brand-new and meaningful artistic endeavor. It’s hard to find something unique enough that 20 artists of the same

name don’t pop up on a Spotify search, but catchy and recognizable enough that listeners will remember you. Whatever the name was, it had to be reflective of the band’s positive, fun, goofy, vibrant personalities. Enter: The Glitter Bombs, an atomic-inspired, sparkling and energetic name fitting of a band who aims to make that exact sound in their music.

The Glitter Bombs started work immediately on their 2023 debut album, Bombs Away, a 12-track adventure full of joy, dynamic and lively sound and plain old good vibes. The group has an addicting rock/ punk sound that is timeless, yet sounds like it comes from songs and bands of the same genres in the ’80s and ’90s. The songs are full of whimsical lyrics and ripping guitar solos; it’s nearly impossible to be sad during a rad, ripping guitar solo.

Bombs Away is something the group is very proud of, as it marked the beginning of something good, and the start of how they found their sound. The Glitter Bombs have tons more material ready to record,

so they’re excited about moving forward. “We don’t have any shortage of stuff, so we probably have enough material for another couple records,” McCool said.

Their Tiny Desk contest submission, “Never Gonna Letcha,” is an example of what the band is aiming for as they put out more music. The video is eye-catching, and the sound is infectious and energetic. “I think [the video] is reflective of the fact that we are very visual,” McCool said. “That really has come about in our writing, how our writing and songs have evolved over the last couple of years. We started out as a rock band, but we see the virtue of having videos and being visual on stage.”

“‘Never Gonna Letcha’ from Tiny Desk is one of our more fun and enthusiastic songs that we’ve actually been performing live for the last year but didn’t make it on the first album, so it’ll definitely be on album number two,” Stone added. Because they had a great time shooting this video, more is to come along with the new tunes.

“I just feel like we’re in a really great mo-

mentum with ideas and energy right now because there’s so many different thoughts and ideas and ways to do this,” Stone explained about the band’s path forward. “I feel like we’re pretty aligned with how much we want to give the band, which is exciting.”

As listeners continue to join The Glitter Bombs on their journey as a band, the members hope listeners are able to feel the joy they do when they’re writing these songs and performing on stage. “[Our music] is supposed to be positive and energetic and a celebration of life,” McCool said. “I want listeners to feel just happiness and joy and energy from our music the way it has fed me since I’ve been playing it, developing it with these guys,” Stone added. “It’s been such a positive experience in my life the last couple of years. I just want to spread that out like a care bear and have people just feel uplifted.”

Stay tuned for what The Glitter Bombs have in store, and be sure to stop by their library when you’re needing a little pickme-up. CW

The Glitter Bombs

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS HIP HOP WEEKENDS

SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY TANNER

MONDAYS REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

Krizz Kaliko @ Liquid Joe’s 4/25

Kansas City legend Krizz Kaliko is unbelievably talented. The Strange Music prodigy has been an elite performer since even before his first LP, Vitiligo, dropped back in 2008. Working with his friend Tech N9ne since the late ’90s, the artist born Samuel William Christopher Watson elevates a type of rap that gets packaged and delivered in a way that not many are capable of doing with the strength of being vulnerable. “As a kid, I prayed to not look like this. To not have this vitiligo on my face, because the judgment of the world will drive you crazy if you care about such things, and most people do,” Kaliko told Flaunt.com “I’ve always wanted to eliminate that weight from me. I’ve gone through mental health issues. I’ve always wanted to alleviate myself from mental health, from vitiligo, and from weight.” The rapper, singer and songwriter departed his longtime label back in 2021, and started his own independent imprint, Ear House Inc. With new music on the horizon, one can expect even more technical verses, powerful hooks and songs where every breath is planned perfectly. Representing the 801, hip-hop heavyweights Self Expression Music (SEM) will be rocking with Cristalz and Slimm El Loko hosting and Jef Doogie, Kaotic, E Will and LAM performing. Also, Co1eone and Greeneyez (Rescope Records), Rap 2 Recovery and Heeva will open with DJ Leemont on the wheels of steel. Touring artists Locksmith and Vin Jay are on the bill as well and are sure to catch wreck. Catch these acts at Liquid Joe’s on Thursday, April 25, doors at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $35 at liquidjoes.net (Mark Dago)

THURSDAY,

WEDNESDAY,

JOYRYDE @ Sky SLC 4/25

Therapy Thursdays have been a staple of the electronic dance music community in Salt Lake City for 10 years, but the last Therapy Thursdays ever will be JOYRYDE at Sky SLC. The decision to end these weekly events comes with sadness, as well as excitement over allowing a focus on other future events by ever-growing production company V2 Presents. JOYRYDE is a fantastic choice to go out with a bang. The U.K. DJ and producer Jon Ford is the son of John Phantasm (John Ford), the legendary psy-trance producer, so he’s been living and breathing EDM from birth. JOYRYDE is the epitome of a rambunctious, bass-heavy fusion of garage, house and trap, and he always has super-high-energy sets. The momentum and hype he had in the mid-to-late 2010s, when Therapy Thursdays first started, was unmatched by most other bass music producers at the time, and he kills it with the energy and production of live sets. His ability to blend bass house and trap music is unlike anyone else’s; songs like “Agen Wida” featuring legendary producer Skrillex, “Focus,” and “I Ware House” still go insanely hard to this day. He’s a perfectionist, which sucks in terms of no new releases in years, but the quality of his older music still sets the standard in EDM, and leaves us wanting more. See JOYRYDE at Sky SLC this Thursday, April 25. Doors open at 9 p.m. General admission costs $35 at tixr.com (Arica Roberts)

Cypress Hill @ The Complex 4/29

I owned the original soundtrack cassette from the irresistible ’90s thriller Judgement Night, before getting a used copy on CD. The Sonic Youth/Cypress Hill collab “I Love You Mary Jane” was the opening track, and it blew my mind. Sure, I had Cypress Hill’s groundbreaking self-titled LP in constant rotation, but something about this rap/rock hybrid felt a bit more than just another college dorm staple. The Hill’s emcees B-Real and Sen Dog have been high on enthusiasm, jagged noise and shouting since the days of their earliest singles, “How I Could Just Kill A Man” and “Hand On The Pump.” Shout out to DJ Muggs, whose impact and influence can’t be overstated. The group’s tenth studio LP, Back in Black, was released in 2022, and the LP solely produced by Black Milk felt like a return to form without sounding dated. “Sometimes you have to reflect and remind yourself and others. As artists, we evolve, and certain music speaks to us a certain way,” B-Real told Spin. “I’ve always subscribed to: whatever the music is telling me, that’s what I’m telling you.” The Pharcyde and Souls Of Mischief open—and all of these California supergroups are not to be missed. Catch these acts on the We Legalized It 2024 bill at the Complex on Monday, April 29, doors at 7 p.m. One dollar from each ticket purchased will be donated to The Last Prisoner Project. Tickets for the all-ages show are $42.50, and can be found at thecomplexslc.com (MD)

Tenille Townes @ The State Room 5/1

Tenille Townes has effectively evolved over the course of her career, but she’s always stayed true to her roots. Born Tenille Nadkrynechny some 30 years ago, she’s Canadian by birth, but after relocating to Nashville, she got her big break after being signed to Columbia Records. Nevertheless, her ties to our northern neighbors remain intact. At the age of 17, she was nominated for a Canadian Country Music Award as Female Artist of the Year. At the same time, her single “Somebody’s Daughter” hit number one on the Canadian country music charts. Two years later, she won four Canadian Country Music Awards (!) including Female Artist of the Year and three more for “Somebody’s Daughter,” including Single, Song, and Video of the Year. Her ties to her initial environs remain intact in other ways, including having raised nearly $2 million for Sunrise House, a shelter for homeless youth in Alberta, courtesy of her annual fundraiser Big Hearts For Big Kids. As for her adopted surname, she explained it all in an interview with the Canadian publication Everything GP. “Townes is actually from Township Road 722, which is the road that I grew up on and the house that built me essentially,” she recalled. “So that’s where that all comes from.” That would seem a wise move; Nadkrynechny doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Besides, after three successful albums and four EPs, it seems to have served her well. Tenille Townes performs a 21 + show at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, May 1 at The State Room. Tickets cost $27 at tix.axs.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

STRFKR @ The Complex 5/1

Riding the wild wave of indie sleaze at the peak stage of the scene, STRFKR brought a thus-far unmapped optimistic melancholy to a genre that thrived on breakup ballads and liquor-laced seduction. What began as a solo project for singer/guitarist Joshua Hodges hurtled towards unsuspecting young ears and the Billboard charts of the early aughts with the self-titled release, featuring the easily recognizable “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second,” made famous by a Target ad (I’m serious)! Although 17 years (feel old yet?) distanced from this blast from the past, STRFKR has since flaunted many singles embedded into popular memory, including “Khalil Gibran,” “Maps,” “Boy Toy,” as well as albums relatively peerless in the indie-pop canon such as Vault (Vol.1-3) and, as of March of this very year, Parallel Realms. Known for their use of light, color and psychedelic hypnotist-like visuals, STRFKR boasts live performances far more entrancing than any single you can queue up on Spotify. Performing an all-ages show live at The Complex on Wednesday, May 1 for only $26 feels borderline like theft—so get your tickets while you still can at tickets.thecomplexslc.com. Doors at 7 p.m., music at 8, as it ought to be. (Sophie Caliguiri)

EITAN MISKEVICH

Cyprus Hill STRFKR

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Have you ever gotten your mind, heart and soul in sweet alignment with the spiritual beauty of money? An opportunity to do that is available. During the next four weeks, you can cultivate an almost mystical communion with the archetype of well-earned wealth. What does that mean? Well, you could be the beneficiary of novel insights and hot tips about how best to conduct your finances. You might get intuitions about actions you could take to bring more riches into your life. Be alert for help from unexpected sources. You may notice that the more generous you are, the more the world’s generosity will flow your way.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Bordering the Pacific Ocean for 1,000 miles, Chile’s Atacama Desert is a place of stark, startling beauty. Unfortunately, its landscape is also a dumping ground for vast amounts of discarded clothes that people bought cheaply, wore out quickly and didn’t want anymore. Is there any other place on earth that more poignantly symbolizes the overlap of sacred and profane? In the coming weeks, Taurus, you will possess a special aptitude for succeeding in situations with metaphorical resemblances to the Atacama. You will have an enhanced power to inject ingenious changes wherever messiness is mixed with elegance, wherever blemished beauty requires redemption, and wherever lyrical truths need to be rescued from careless duplicity or pretense.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

My Gemini friend Alicia thrives on having a quick, acute, whirling-dervish-like intelligence. It’s one of her strong points now, but it wasn’t always. She says she used to be hyperactive. She thought of serenity as boring—“like some wan, bland floral tea.” But after years of therapy, she is joyous to have discovered “a kind of serenity that’s like sweet, frothy hot chocolate spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg.” I’m guessing that many of you Geminis have been evolving in a similar direction in recent months—and will climax this excellent period of relaxing growth in the coming weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

All Cancerians who read this are automatically included on the Primal Prayer Power List. During the next 13 days, my team of Prayer Warriors will sing incantations to nurture your vigor, sovereignty and clarity of purpose. We will envision your dormant potentials ripening. We will call on human and divine allies to guide you in receiving and bestowing the love that gives your life supreme meaning. How should you prepare for this flood of blessings? Start by having a long talk with yourself in which you describe exactly why you deserve these gifts.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

A meme on Instagram said, “The day I stopped worrying about what other people think of me was the day I became free.” This provokes mixed feelings in me. I agree it’s liberating not to obsess with what people think. On the other hand, we should indeed care about how we affect others. We are wise to learn from them about how we can be our best selves. Our “freedom” includes the discernment to know which ideas people have about us are worth paying attention to and which are best forgotten and ignored. In my opinion, Leo, these are important themes for you to ruminate on right now.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia is a holy place for Islam. Jerusalem is the equivalent for Judaism, and the Vatican is for Catholicism. Other spiritual traditions regard natural areas as numinous and exalting. For instance, the Yoruba people of Nigeria cherish OsunOsogbo, a sacred grove of trees along the Osun River. I’d love it if there were equivalent sanctuaries for you, Virgo—where you could go to heal and recharge when-

ever you need to. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to identify power spots like these. If there are no such havens for you, find or create some.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In my opinion, you are entering a period when you can turn any potential breakdown into a breakthrough. If a spiritual emergency arises, I predict you will rouse wisdom that sparks your emergence from numbness and apathy. Darkness will be your ally because it will be the place to access hidden strength and untapped resources. Here’s the best news: Unripe and wounded parts of your psyche will get healing upgrades as you navigate through the intriguing mysteries.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

According to my astrological perspective, you are entering a phase to dramatically refine how relationships function in your life. To capitalize on the potential, you must figure out how to have fun while doing the hard work that such an effort will take. Here are three questions to get you started: 1 What can you do to foster a graceful balance between being too self-centered and giving too much of yourself? 2. Are there any stale patterns in your deep psyche that tend to undermine your love life? If so, how could you transform or dissolve them? 3. Given the fact that any close relationship inevitably provokes the dark sides of both allies, how can you cultivate healthy ways to deal with that?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I feel sad when I see my friends tangling with mediocre problems. The uninspiring dilemmas aren’t very interesting and don’t provoke much personal growth. They use up psychic energy that could be better allocated. Thankfully, I don’t expect you to suffer this bland fate in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. You will entertain high-quality quandaries. They will call forth the best in you. They will stimulate your creativity and make you smarter and kinder and wilder. Congratulations on working diligently to drum up such rich challenges!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In 1894, a modest Agave ferox plant began its life in Oxford, England. By 1994, 100 years later, it had grown to be 6 feet tall but had never bloomed. Then one December day, the greenhouse temperature accidentally climbed above 68 degrees F. During the next two weeks, the plant grew twice as tall. Six months later, it bloomed bright yellow flowers for the first time. I suspect metaphorically comparable events will soon occur for you, Capricorn. They may already be underway.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Have you felt a longing to be nurtured? Have you fantasized about asking for support, encouragement and mentoring? If so, wonderful! Your intuition is working well! My analysis suggests you would benefit from basking in the care and influence of people who elevate and champion you; who cherish and exalt you; who can feed and inspire you. My advice is to pursue the blessings of such helpers without inhibition or apology. You need and deserve to be treated like a vibrant treasure.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In his book Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perception, Thom Hartmann theorizes that distractibility may have been an asset for our ancestors. Having a short attention span meant they were ever alert for possible dangers and opportunities in their environment. If they were out walking at night, being lost in thought could prevent them from tuning into warning signals from the bushes. Likewise, while hunting, they would benefit from being ultra-receptive to fleeting phenomena and ready to make snap decisions. I encourage you to be like a hunter in the coming weeks, Pisces. Not for wild animals, but for wild clues, wild signs and wild help.

Review existing ETL processes involved in the loading of financial data; provide feedback on possible improvements; Analyze sfwr to ID potential reuse of existing process for planned enhancements. Reqs Masters. Send resumes to Zions Bancorporation at ZionsCareers@ zionsbancorp.com. Must reference job title & code in subject line.

The Creepies

I recently had a client who is new to the area ask about sex offenders who were located in a neighborhood where she wanted to purchase a home. Her concerns were especially strong as she has two very young children and wants a safe neighborhood to live in upon closing escrow.

She googled a particular address and found there were more than 30 offenders living within a few miles of the home. No surprise to me as I get this question a lot and, frankly, I was surprised there weren’t more noted on the site she was using.

There are a tons of websites that may lead you to the information, but the best one in Utah is maintained by the Utah Department of Corrections, which uses OffenderWatch, the nation’s leading registered sex offender management and community notification tool. It’s updated instantaneously throughout the day, with offender addresses and other information. All you do is enter an address anywhere in the state of Utah and you will see realtime info on the publishable offenders within a specific radius of the address you enter.

For example, I recently entered the random address of 125 S. State in downtown Salt Lake, which is where the Bennett Federal Building is located. The site found 12 offenders nearby, in 10 locations. I clicked on the numbered dots on the map and instantly found a photo, name, age, height and weight, eye and hair color and address of the offenders. As examples, one lives on Second Avenue and was convicted in 1998 of “lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor under 16.” Another, who is living in Farmington, but showed up on the downtown map, was found guilty of sexual abuse of a child in 2008 and was released in 2013.

When I changed the address to Westminster University on 1300 East and 1700 South, 10 offenders came up. Looking at other universities, seven offenders were listed within a mile of BYU’s Provo campus, four within a mile of Utah State University in Logan and three were within a mile of Utah Tech University in St. George.

A convicted sex offender can remain on the list for a long, long time. If a person was convicted of a sex crime and is required to register as a sex offender but is later granted a pardon by the Board of Pardons, they qualify for removal from the state registry. They can be on the registry for 10 years or for life, depending on the seriousness of the crime. Hell, getting caught pissing in public can land you on the site as a sex offender! Offenders also cannot live near daycares, preschools, public pools, public or private schools, parks or playgrounds.

Want to know where the creepies live in your ’hood? Start with the Utah Department of Corrections website for the most up-to-date information and you can even register for email alerts if one moves nearby. n

“... like ___ of bricks”

17. Neck warmer

18. Incomplete musical about royal footwear?

20. Recording material

22. Anti-pollution gp.

23. Chess or key lime, e.g.

Tattoos

27. A bunch

29. Instigate

31. Incomplete musical

play about Yogi or Boo-Boo?

49. Aretha Franklin’s longtime label

51. Broadway play or musical

52. Org. based in Langley

53. Animation sheet

54. Retreating tide

56. Toaster-based brand

58. Incomplete musical about Chucky or Annabelle?

61. Keep clear of

“Garfield” dog 66. Hideaway

67. Giant tourist attraction 68. Sweet endings? 69. Ready and willing go-with

DOWN

Notable period

4. Sour-ish

5. “Our Gang” member

6. “... the Lord ___ away”

7. Prefix before raptor

8. Gold source

9. They’re squeezed at some weddings

10. ___ Schwarz (toy store) 11. Perfect

Last week’s answers SUDOKU X Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

NEWS of the WEIRD

Boom!

Police in Rose, Idaho, revealed on April 10 the names of the victim and suspect in a home invasion that took place in March, EastIdahoNews.com reported.

Officials said that around 2 a.m., 85-year-old Christine Jenneiahn was sleeping in her home when she awoke to a man shining a flashlight and pointing a gun at her. Derek Ephriam Condon, 39, allegedly then handcuffed Jenneiahn and moved her to the living room, where he cuffed her to a chair and asked her where the valuables were. She told him there were two safes, and he left to investigate. While he was out of the room, Jenneiahn dragged herself and the chair into her bedroom and got her .357 Magnum revolver, which she hid on a nearby couch after returning to the living room. Ultimately, she made a “now or never” decision and drew the gun, fatally striking Condon with two shots. He returned fire, hitting her multiple times, but Jenneiahn survived and has already left the hospital. The case, said Bingham County Prosecutor Ryan Jolley, “presents one of the most heroic acts of self-preservation I have ever heard of.” Officials said the two knew each other, and it was not a random incident.

Rectum? Killed ‘im

A 24-year-old man, Yogesh R, in Bengaluru, India, recently died on March 25 of massive intestinal damage after a friend, Murali, 23, playfully inflated his rectum with a powerful car wash blow-dryer. The friend, an employee at a motorbike service center, had finished washing and drying the vehicle of the victim when their horseplay ensued, the Times of India reported. The dryer’s wand was not particularly close to Yogesh, but the pressure was such that the victim collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were unable to repair his exploded colon. Murali was arrested for culpable homicide.

Animal Antics

n In the wee early hours of April 10 at a train station in Sydney, Australia, an unexpected commuter showed up, United Press International reported. A horse, wearing a blanket, appeared on the Warwick Farm station platform during a period of heavy storms and even tried to board onto the train. The escapade was captured on the train platform’s security camera video. The horse trotted up and down the platform and chased another rider before its owner was summoned to collect it. Transport for New South Wales declared that the wouldbe rider was “only horsing around” and was returned to his residence.

n On April 8 in Kansas City, Missouri, police were summoned after someone saw a mountain goat standing on a ledge under a highway overpass bridge, United Press International reported. Authorities tried using a rope to rescue the goat, who ended up hanging from the rope for a short while. Finally a veterinarian on the ground sedated the animal and it was taken to a local animal shelter to recover. Apparently, the goat had recently been adopted by a nearby resident and had escaped its enclosure.

Precocious

At the Country Oaks Elementary School in Hendry County, Florida, two 10-year-old boys were trading more than Lunchables on March 27. ClickOrlando reported that one of the boys had agreed in February to sell a handgun belonging to his father, who had recently died, to another for $300. The gun was located under a shed in the boy’s backyard, along with a baggie containing 74 grams of marijuana. Both boys were arrested—one for selling a firearm to a minor, the other for purchasing a firearm as a minor. The seller’s mom is a sheriff’s deputy; she was put on administrative leave while the investigation continues.

Holier Than Thou

Peter Owens, 35, of Ellenton, Florida, went to a Walgreens store in Clearwater on Easter Sunday to buy

some headphones, The Smoking Gun reported. While there, he got into an argument with an employee of the store and the manager, 36-year-old Nicole Merck, tried to intervene, asking Owens to leave the store. That was when Owens, according to police, struck Merck in the face with his Bible. Authorities tracked him down and he admitted striking her “because she was being rude to him.” The charge was bumped up to a felony because of Owens’ 2020 conviction in Michigan for assault and battery. WWJD?

Overserved

n Anna Louise Keller, 49, of Seminole, Florida, was shocked— shocked! —on April 8 when Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies stopped her because she was driving recklessly and, critically, missing her right front tire. Fox13-TV reported that officers smelled alcohol, and Keller admitted that she had been drinking and was unaware of the missing tire. She tested over the legal limit, and deputies found four empty Busch Light containers in the car. She was charged with DUI.

n When police came across Wyly James Weeks, 35, on April 5 in St. Petersburg, Florida, he was sitting in a trash can, on a sidewalk, and completely naked. The Smoking Gun reported that Weeks told cops he “was allowed to be drunk and disorderly and sit naked in a trash can on the public sidewalk.” Indeed, they found him to be unsteady on his feet and smelling of liquor. He also told them he didn’t have to provide his “name or demographics.” He pleaded guilty to disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence and was fined $520.

Total Eclipse of My Parts

In what is apparently a regular prank in Mexico, someone submitted an adults-only video clip of their view of the eclipse on April 8 to an RCG Media news program, the New York Post reported. But this particular clip was of a man blocking out the sun with his testicles. While the male anchor read on from a list of locations where people could watch the celestial phenomenon, one of the two female anchors gasped as the crude image flashed on the screen. The male anchor then apologized; an X user with the name Rhevolver took gleeful responsibility for the joke.

Bright Idea

At the home of Omar Gabriel Munoz in Sacramento County, California, on March 29, a package was delivered, Fox News reported. But when Munoz got back to his home, the package wasn’t there. When he checked his doorbell video, he found out why—and he had to give credit to the porch pirate, who he said showed “a lot of creativity.” The thief shuffled up to Munoz’s front door dressed as a bag of trash, with only their feet showing, stood over the box and picked it up, then shuffled away. Munoz said the box contained only two iPhone chargers; he didn’t report the theft to the police because “they have more important things to do.” “At first I was kinda angry but when I saw the video again, I was laughing,” Munoz said.

Oops!

The U.S. Navy is the subject of much ridicule after it recently released a photo online depicting Commander Cameron Yaste, the captain of the USS John S. McCain, shooting a rifle—but with the scope mounted backwards and the lens cap still on. The Telegraph reported that the image also accompanied an official press release and was captioned, “From engaging in practice gun shoots, conducting maintenance, testing fuel purity and participating in sea and anchor details, the #USNavy is always ready to serve and protect.” One commenter on X noted despondently, “We’re going to lose a major war.”

Send your weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com

SVP, Revenue Strategy and Operations sought by Pluralsight LLC in Draper, UT. Partner w/go-to market exec team to create go-tomarket strategy. Req: BS+12 yrs. Up to 20% international & domestic travel req’d. WFH. Apply via email to: Pluralsight LLC, Attn: Conner Shaw, peopleops@pluralsight.com. Must Ref Job Code UT1202