City Weekly November 7, 2024

CITY WEEKLY FREE

During the Roaring Twenties, a Utahn’s candidacy for president sought to shake up America’s two-party politics.

BY WES LONG

S AP

BOX

“Of Bugs and Bellwethers,” Oct. 24 Opinion

Not wanting to be “that guy,” but gonna be that guy—a quick Google search says that mantises are native to Utah. I don’t blame you. I’ve lived off and on (mostly on) in Utah since the mid 60s and the first time I saw mantises was against the wall of the old Ethan Allen store in the University Mall parking lot in the 70s—or maybe early 80’s. I collected a lot of both the brown/tan and green ones to put in my parents’ gardens.

But still, I had been interested in them

since ’75/’76 when I first saw them wild in Maryland and it took me that long to see them wild in Utah. I’ll bet if you keep an eye out, and check Google, you’ll find a lot more native bugs that look invasive.

TOD WHITE Orem

“Just Say No,” Oct. 31 Private Eye

They jailed grandmas who gingerly walked into an unguarded Congress building and several Americans committed suicide after the wildly unconstitutional treatment they received by the most ruthless and unethical Justice Dept in our history ... so yeah, let’s avoid fascism by any means.

MRUIZJR3 Via Instagram

Shhhhh, your Trump Derangement Syndrome is completely out of control right now. Seek help, fellow American.

DEAD_HEADFORD Via Instagram

Spot on again. Keep up the good work.

KENNETH IVIE Via Facebook

Great article, John Saltas. Thanks Washington Post and LA Times for demonstrating today exactly what our free speech rights will look like when we’re living under a fascist autocrat. Meanwhile, the Las Vegas Sun had the courage to write a spot-on editorial.

ANDY JORGENSEN Via Facebook

I have optimism and hope for the future after the recent rally in Washington D.C. Over 75,000 in attendance—old, young, professionals and non, races of all colors. There were no insults or hateful rhetoric. After it was over, the massive crowd dispersed calmly.

LEEANNA XANTHOS-MCQUEEN Via Facebook

“Local Music Playlist …”

Oct. 31 Music

Beautiful music can always pull people’s hearts.

ARLENE HICKS Via Facebook

years of salt lake

CITY WEEKLY

City Weekly 40th Anniversary Book

Editor’s note: This year we celebrated our 40th anniversary! To help celebrate, we’re putting together a 40-year anniversary souvenir book to showcase all of the best of City Weekly’s first 40 years! Included will be recaps from each year in operation. If you followed along with our weekly “rewind,” we will have more pieces included here as well as flashbacks from folks near and dear to City Weekly. Let us know if you’re interested in being on our outreach list for the release date! Contact marketing@cityweely.net for more information.

Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER Rewind

If a restaurant offered you a 5% discount to not have a phone on the table or look at it, would you take the offer?

Bryan Bale

They would need to offer a bigger discount than that. I rely on my phone for timely reminders.

Katharine Biele

It partially depends on whether I’m dining alone or with someone else. If the latter, easy yes. If the former? Well … do I get to bring a book instead?

Benjamin Wood

I don’t like to be on my phone anyway so I’d be happy to take a discount.

Chelsea Neider

Heck ya, I’m a deal girl! Any type of discount, I’ll take it.

Kayla Dreher

Sure, but then I won’t be able to take cute pics and tag them on my Instagram story. That’s the only purpose for phone out at dinner.

Doug Kruithof

I vote 10% discount—but you can’t have a physical menu either—total trust on pricing and the food you get to eat.

Krista Maggard

Oh yeah, no problem at all—I’d rather be in the moment anyway!

But here I am (we are) again mixing misery and gin

Sitting here with all my (our) friends and talking to myself (ourselves)

BBY JOHN SALTAS

PRIVATE EYE Prayer Time

y the time you read this you will know the results of Tuesday’s election, so there’s no point in me waxing about how you might consider voting this way or that. What Election Day means to me, today—like all others since 1972—is that I can rest assured that my ballot was duly cast and duly collected. My vote will be counted and verified and I’m confident that nobody cheated.

Despite that bit of warm and fuzzy, there’s one thing surely afoot: The single most consistent theme of my life has been losing at the election booth. Well, I also lost many foot races, but I always felt I could win those. I’ve no such illusions as a Utah democrat.

I seldom vote straight ticket (not much of a reveal if you’ve ever paid attention to this column), and I didn’t this time. My votes induce great sorrow and are cast for a person who, if he or she drinks, should start drinking right now. If that person is a non-drinker, they can contact me and I will teach them the ways of looking at the world through the bottom of a glass.

We can raise our glasses while toasting the great Merle Haggard (easily one of the top five live performers I ever saw), plugging our coins into that jukebox over in the corner—wait, maybe not the jukebox, but we can find him on Spotify.

And we shall sing his famous anthem “Misery and Gin,” but with lyrics modified from that of a pining barfly to that of pining Democrats after yet another election day rejection:

I (we) look like I’m (we’re) having a good time, but any fool can tell

That this honkytonk heaven (living in Utah) really makes you (us) feel like hell

I (we) light a lonely woman’s (Democrat’s) cigarette

We start talking about what we wanna forget.

Her (their) life story and mine (ours) are the same

We both lost someone (another election) and only have ourselves to blame.

Truth is, though, we don’t have ourselves to blame. I believed in 1972, and in every election since, that I voted for the right person at the right time. Not to brag or anything, but I think history has borne me out. I didn’t vote for Nixon, Ford, Reagan, either Bush nor for Trump. I voted for every Democrat running for Utah governor, except in the case of Republican Jon Huntsman Jr, who—before he became a sideline-sitting, political ghost—was, in fact, a genuinely good governor.

Seriously. Since Huntsman decided not to run a thirdparty ticket, has anyone heard from the guy? Is he ok? I believe he’s helping direct things over at Ford Motor Company these days, so it would be nice to hear from him about what he thinks and who would be the better guardian of our United States autoworkers, but nada.

I’m still pissed at him for the way he coyly endorsed Mike Lee in the last senate race—he coulda’ just said “Vote for Mike” instead of candy kissing Lee’s face—but I’m not so pissed that I wouldn’t buy him breakfast if I ever saw him. Wait. I did that already, a couple years ago in a popular Salt Lake diner. He never said squat, just ate his food and left. Maybe he didn’t know. It’s just my easy-going good nature to give the benefit of the doubt, so I don’t blame him, but I doubt he didn’t know, nonetheless. If he had come over

to say “screw you Greek boy” and spill coffee over my head, that would’ve been acceptable.

And if he had, I would have good-naturedly said “that’s ok, I had it coming.” Because after all, my knowing Jon puts me one Kevin Bacon handshake away from Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rocket Man and, of course, Donald J. Trump. It’s something I can tell my imaginary grandkids.

Still, I’d rather be one Kevin Bacon away from Aaron Judge. Yep, I’m also a loser New York Yankee fan, and a Chicago Cubs fan if you want to rub it in. But I don’t feel like a loser because to paraphrase a popular meme, “You don’t learn a goddamned thing by winning.” It’s fun. There may even be a trophy.

Some trophies aren’t worth it though. Does anyone except Spencer Cox—and the rural Republicans who pull his strings—think he has any redemptive qualities left? That he can ever be trusted? I don’t. Hell, if I lived in Fairview, I’d pull Cox aside at the next ward meeting and say, “WTF, man? Aren’t you embarrassed yet?”

I’m not a fortune teller, but come Wednesday I hope to wake up with Brian King as our next governor-elect. He’s everything Spencer Cox claims to be, save for three huge differences: King does not betray his LDS faith; King is a Democrat; and King needn’t sell his soul to gain respect. King is an honorable man—a door opener, not a door closer.

In 2000, City Weekly ran a cover story by Alexander Nibley, son of LDS Scholar Hugh Nibley. It remains a fantastic read of the slow sands that move LDS political thinking. He asked the nagging question of the era, “Can you be a faithful Mormon and a Democrat?” and he answered, “Can you be a faithful Mormon and tolerate a one-party state?”

Nibley, thus, fairly predicted the coming of men like Mike Lee and Spencer Cox. Such a predicate indicates that the LDS faithful may one day see through the political con. They say that is happening today. Let’s pray. CW

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

Your fall planting headquarters

HITS & MISSES

BY BENJAMIN WOOD BY BENJAMIN WOOD

HIT: Tricks and Treats

Halloween came and went and with it, the annual cycle of news reports on the surge in pedestrian fatalities linked to trick-or-treating. As always, most of the local media focused on ways children are expected to avoid being killed by drivers, like going out before sunset (boring), spoiling their costumes with lights and reflectors (lame) and generally refraining from the carefree revelry of youth (groan). But Fox 13 went beyond the typical victim-blaming and highlighted SLC residents obtaining block party permits to close their streets to traffic, boosting safety by eliminating the threat of drivers entirely. “We can take a break from our last-minute errands and driving and just sort of, maybe, get to know our neighbors and our trick-or-treaters and keep them safe,” said Adelaide Corey-Disch, who organized a street closure in Sugar House. Even on Halloween, not all heroes wear capes.

MISS: Bump, Set, Spike It

‘Handling’ Growth

There’s a bit of journalistic shorthand my Utah media colleagues use when reporting on the Utah Department of Transportation’s expensive plans to widen Interstate 15. In report after report they say that, according to UDOT, adding lanes is necessary to “handle the growth” projected for the Wasatch Front in the coming years.

The exact wording varies: sometimes it’s “manage,” or “accommodate;” on occasion, UDOT must “respond to” or “address” growth. But the general meaning is the same—more people will live in Utah and, ergo, we must have more road for them to drive on. But where the press falls short is in its failure to ask the necessary followup question: What exactly does UDOT mean by “handling” growth?

A group of Utah lawmakers wearing cringeworthy “BOYcott” t-shirts—led by Morgan Republican and culture war reactionary Rep. Kera Birkeland—put on a big show of sanctimonious superiority by attending a Utah State University women’s volleyball game over (what else?) the inclusion of transgender athletes. There’s hundreds of issues affecting Utahns that would be a better use of a lawmaker’s time and attention, and while outlets like The Salt Lake Tribune couldn’t resist the catnip, they did at least make a point to feature the thoughtful comments of Southern Utah University student Kaleb Cox—son of Gov. Spencer Cox— who criticized SUU administrators for their “deafening silence” in the wake of a broiling controversy that has made campus feel less safe. “We’re letting these hypotheticals get in the way of human decency and kindness and compassion,” Kaleb Cox told the Tribune. “[It’s going] toward someone who’s just trying to play a sport that they love with their friends.”

MISS: Big Brother is Watching

The Utah County Clerk’s Office has a storied history of tripping over its own feet, particularly around Election Day, when the state’s second-largest county is regularly among the last to get its ballots counted. But Clerk Aaron Davidson outdid himself by exposing a questionable practice of tracking the personal voting habits of state lawmakers. Spanish Fork Republican Sen. Mike McKell cried foul after Davidson let slip that he knew exactly how and exactly when the good senator cast his mail-in ballot, after which Davidson doubled-down, telling the Deseret News his list goes well beyond just McKell. “I have a list of all the politicians,” he said. “There’s nothing in statute that says how you voted is a private record.” McKell described Davidson’s behavior as troubling and unethical, and various calls for the clerk’s resignation soon followed, but Davidson continued to thumb his nose at detractors while

Earlier this year, the West Davis Corridor opened to much fanfare. Residents in the far-flung areas of Davis County—my brother among them— were thrilled to shave precious minutes off their commutes. And local media was more than happy to report the ostensibly wonderful news of a taxpayer-funded highway being completed, and the “easing” or “improvement” of congestion that it represented.

Then the reporters moved on to the next story of the day. But if you keep paying attention to the West Davis Corridor, you’ll notice the story has already started to change. Up and down the new highway, land is being sold off to developers, who are rolling out plans to fill the vacant or sparsely-inhabited areas with scads of housing. One such townhome project in Clinton has been met with a petition from neighbors— again, my brother among them—who object to their city doing what it always intended to do: build new homes for new residents who can use the new road to get to Salt Lake County.

It won’t be long—typically five years or so—before those new residents clog up the West Davis Corridor, reverting traffic back to its inevitable state: gridlock. Around that time, we’ll likely hear from UDOT about the need to widen the road further, to “handle” more growth, and to unlock new areas of suburban sprawl development.

Because that is what UDOT means by “handle.” Growth either occurs within town centers (via density) or on the periphery (via sprawl) and the reality is that while sprawl is unsustainable, it’s easier to accomplish politically—all you need is a big enough road.

Density means fewer, shorter trips; sprawl means more driving over longer distances. People see empty fields turning into subdivisions and they see work crews on their once-sleepy arterials and they know there’s a connection but they have it backward: the highway makes the sprawl possible; UDOT is the tail that wags the dog.

This is the feedback loop we’re trapped in—a barely-scrutinized policy choice with staggering implications for municipal budgets, pollution, health and safety. If you’re worried about growth, if you believe neighborhoods are being “ruined,” don’t fight the townhome project, fight the highway widening. CW

Second Chance Theater

If you missed it the first time around, it’s new to you—shows Netflix has salvaged from obscurity.

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

Besides poverty and eyeball strain, one of the biggest hazards of being a TV critic is surfing too far ahead of the curve. I’ll praise a cool new show on an obscure platform strictly on its merits, not its availability: Don’t have a Snork+ subscription? Sucks for you. Then, years later, that cool new-to-civilians show turns up on Netflix, and everybody hits me up about it. Here are a few examples, all now streaming on The Big Red N. Loudermilk (2017–2020): Loudermilk, a comedy about a recovering alcoholic Gen-X rock critic (Ron Livingston), premiered to no one on DirecTV’s ironically-named Audience Network. It later turned up on Prime Video, but the show blew up bigly when it dropped on Netflix in January 2024. Sam Loudermilk runs a recovery group, lives with a pair of former addicts (Will Sasso and Anja Savcic), and regularly rants about modern culture and popular music (he’s not a fan of either). Four seasons, no filler.

Detroiters (2017–2018): Before he had a hit with I Think You Should Leave, Tim Robinson co-created and starred in Detroiters on Comedy Central—this was back when CC produced originals beyond South Park and The Daily Show. Best friends Tim (Robinson) and Sam (Sam Richardson) work at a Detroit ad agency, cranking out low-budget/high-hilarity TV commercials for local businesses. Detroiters has the lived-in feel and flow of a 10-year comedy, but it only lasted for two terrifically rewatchable seasons. Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021–2022): Annie Murphy went hard, dark and weird for her first post-Schitt’s Creek TV series, Kevin Can F**k Himself. In one reality, housewife Allison (Murphy) suffers moron husband Kevin (Eric Petersen) and a braying laugh track that thinks he’s hysterical. In another, the laughs are

gone, the lights are low, and Allison is desperate to get out of this abusive, subKing of Queens hell. The sitcom/drama pivots of Kevin Can F**k Himself are black comedy gold, and Murphy crushes both. Preacher (2016–2019): One of AMC’s most gonzo gambles, besides Kevin Can F**k Himself, was Preacher, based on the Vertigo Comics series. When hard-drinking and harder-living Texas preacher Jesse (Dominic Cooper) mysteriously gains the power to bend people’s will, he hits the road to find God with his violence-prone ex, Tulip (Ruth Negga), and Irish vampire Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun). Preacher is a righteously blasphemous thrill-kill ride that takes no prisoners, and wisely capped at four seasons. UnReal (2015–2018): For those who hate reality TV (guilty), UnReal is a dark, devious pleasure that somehow began as a Lifetime(!) original. Rachel (Shiri Appleby) is a producer on “Everlasting,” a Bachelor-esque dating show. She excels at ginning up TV-ready drama between contestants, but it wears on her soul. Meanwhile, her boss Quinn (Constance Zimmer), who has no soul, pushes Rachel to do anything for ratings. Everyone on UnReal is awful, but you still root for them. Just like reality TV.

Dare Me (2019–2020): Dare Me premiered on USA Network in the TV dead zone between Christmas and New Year’s Day—you know, that magical time of year when everybody’s looking for a glum psychological thriller about high school cheerleaders. The story centers on besties Addy (Herizen Guardiola) and Beth (Marlo Kelly), who find themselves at odds when a new cheerleading coach (Willa Fitzgerald) arrives who has a mysterious past with Addy. Come for the routines; stay for the sheer tension.

Warrior (2019–2023): HBO afterthought Cinemax’s ambitious-butdoomed foray into original programming produced some solid shows (Banshee, The Knick, Quarry), but none of them topped Warrior. The action series, executive-produced by Shannon Lee (daughter of Bruce Lee, who ideated Warrior), follows Chinese martial arts prodigy Ah Sahm (Andrew Koji) as he battles to stay alive—and find his sister—in 1870s San Francisco. The cinematography is as gorgeous as the fight scenes are brutal. CW

Loudermilk

theESSENTIALS ENTERTAINMENT PICKS,

Glass Art Guild of Utah: Art in the Garden

The creation of great art of any kind can seem like a magic trick, pulling beauty out of thin air. But there’s an added component to the magicshow of creating glass art—a kind of danger like escaping from handcuffs while underwater. The fragility of the pieces only adds to the glory of their creation—and you can experience a glorious showcase of the 4,000-year-old art form when the Glass Art Guild of Utah presents the 22nd annual Art in the Garden show at Red Butte Garden.

More than 30 members of the Glass Art Guild of Utah—a community of artists working collaboratively to support, promote and develop warm glass art forms—will be bringing their work to this group show, part of a showcase of more than 1,000 individual one-of-a-kind pieces (Suzanne Larson’s “Cheval Esprit” is pictured) available for purchase for personal display or for gifts as we hit the holiday season. The majority of the proceeds from the show go to the participating artists, with a small percentage going back to the guild and designated items going to a newly established scholarship fund, and a portion as a fundraiser for Red Butte Garden.

Art in the Garden runs Nov. 7 – Dec. 21 on the 2nd floor of the Red Butte Garden building (300 Wakara Way), with an opening reception on Saturday, Nov. 9 from 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. offering a chance to meet with the artists. The exhibition is open to the public during regular operating hours; visit redbuttegarden.org or glassartguild.org for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

Mad King Productions: Heathers: The Musical

With the release of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice earlier this year, audiences got a reminder of what it was like in the late-’80s, when Winona Ryder was an icon of dark comedies. That certainly includes Heathers, the 1989 feature starring Ryder and Christian Slater. It seemed like an unlikely candidate for being turned into a stage musical, but that was before composer Laurence O’Keefe got hold of it. And as the person who found stage-musical gold in a tabloid headline with Bat Boy: The Musical, O’Keefe might have been the perfect artist for this job.

The 2013 musical version sticks to the story of Veronica Sawyer, a teenager who becomes part of her high school’s popular clique of three Heathers: Heather Duke, Heather McNamara and Heather Chandler. Veronica’s frustration with the vapidity of her friend group finds a kindred spirit in new arrival J.D., a mysterious bad boy with a dark side. Soon, Veronica finds herself caught up in murder and other mayhem, set to grimly funny tunes like “Our Love is God,” “My Dead Gay Son” and “Kindergarten Boyfriend,” in a satire of teen life full of trigger-warning-worthy subject matter, but still all too relevant more than 35 years after the film’s initial release.

Mad King Productions—known locally for its “Drunken Shakespeare” productions—takes on the task of bringing Heathers: The Musical to the stage of the Alliance Theater (602 E. 500 South) in Trolley Square, Nov. 7 – 17, with performances 7:30 p.m. evenings, 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday matinees. Tickets are $25; visit mkpslc.ticketleap.com/heathers-mkp/. (SR)

Ballet West: Pictures at an Exhibition

It’s been quite a year in the local arts community for Modest Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition. That is perhaps understandable, given that the 1874 composition—a piano suite dedicated to the work of artist and Mussorgsky’s friend, Viktor Hartmann—is celebrating its sesquicentennial in 2024. In September, the resident companies of the Rose Wagner Theater themed their annual group showcase around Pictures at an Exhibition; Utah Symphony presents a program featuring the work Nov. 15-16. And between the two, Ballet West offers its program named after a balletic interpretation of Mussorgsky’s music.

First staged in 2014, Pictures at an Exhibition was created for New York City Ballet by Alexei Ratmansky, the celebrated former artistic director of the legendary Bolshoi Ballet. This performance marks the first time that Ballet West will be staging one of Ratmansky’s pieces, and the choreographer will be working directly with the company during the first week of performances. Sharing the program with Pictures at an Exhibition is Serenade (pictured) by George Balanchine; set to Tchaikovsky’s “Serenade for Strings,” Serenade was Balanchine’s first-ever work created in America, and is celebrating its 90th anniversary. Finally, the program includes the Utah premiere of Christopher Wheeldon’s 2008 work Within the Golden Hour. Ballet West’s Pictures at an Exhibition visits the J. Q. Lawson Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South), with performances Nov. 8, 9, 14 and 16 at 7:30 p.m., and a matinee on Saturday, Nov. 16. Tickets are $29 - $108; visit arttix. org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

From Our Friends At

Behold the Mansplainer

Heretic finds its terror not in theology, but in a dude convinced he knows it all.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

You’re likely to see a lot of writing about Heretic that refers to it as being provocative and philosophical, and … I mean, I get it. It’s always going to seem startling in the circa-2024 cinematic landscape to find a movie that has any kind of idea in its head, and fans of genre fare will always be keen on lifting up examples that are more than just genre fare. So when you get a psychological thriller like Heretic that includes thorny musings on the nature of religious faith and the origins of scripture, you’re going to find folks ready and eager to parse those aforementioned musings: Here’s the really deep stuff.

But I think dissecting the arguments swirling through Heretic could end up missing the point regarding what it’s actually about, as well as what works so well about it as an exceptional piece of suspense filmmaking. Because Heretic isn’t actually a movie about its arguments. It’s a movie about arguing—and about how scary it is to encounter someone who turns it into their own personal religion.

Unquestionably, writer/directors Scott Beck and Bryan Woods—the writing team behind the original A Quiet Place—come up with a nifty premise, as they send two Mormon sister missionaries to an isolated Colorado home to visit someone who has expressed an interest in their church. Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) seems to be a genial sort, and Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher)

Sister Paxton

East) don’t really think much about coming into his house from a brewing storm before seeing definitive evidence that there’s another woman in the house. It only starts to go sideways when Mr. Reed gets a bit aggressive in challenging some of the tenets of their faith, and their ability to leave seems to be not entirely in their own hands. Beck and Woods lock themselves into a fixed location for the majority of their story, so it’s a good thing they have a few neat tricks up their sleeves in terms of building tension. They’re adept at the basics of using their camera both to direct attention and to misdirect it, setting up objects and ideas that will pay off later and turning revelations into excruciating waiting games. Because this is less a conventional horror picture than it is a slow burn of Sisters Barnes and Paxton realizing the danger of their situation, Heretic’s mounting suspense needs to emerge from something as simple as watching a single bead of sweat trickling down one of the sisters’ foreheads.

Still, it’s clear that the battle-of-the-

logical-wills premise will be a big draw for some folks—particularly in Utah, perhaps—so it’s understandable if viewers become fascinated with the particulars of the challenges Mr. Reed presents to the earnest sisters. Those conversations wander all over the map, from Joseph Campbell’s monomyth to simulation theory, and extracting metaphorical significance from board games and pop songs. It’s engaging, to be sure, but also not all that different from conversations that have taken place in college dorm rooms for decades, historical gotchas doing battle with sincere belief. No, what matters in Heretic isn’t what’s being said, but who’s saying it—specifically, a middle-aged man talking down to two young women. Hugh Grant’s performance is phenomenal, slipping fluidly between the affable charm that built his film career and genuine menace, but what takes it to the next level is the way Mr. Reed becomes as much of an archetype as the mythological precursors to Jesus he takes so much pleasure in mansplaining to the two missionaries. Mr. Reed is That Guy,

the one who knows he’s got it all figured out, an extremely-not-online variation on extremely-online men. The philosophy that we eventually learn Mr. Reed is espousing is one he’s living, but it’s also one we see plenty of contemporary men living in a slightly-less-extreme form, one that allows them to manipulate those they believe have less power, or at least certainly should have less power. While Heretic plays around with the existential terror of uncertainty, it becomes much more effective as a story of the existential terror of certainty—and what happens when someone turns that certainty into an exercise of dominance, whether it’s dressed up in ecclesiastical robes or a cardigan. CW

and

(Chloe

Hugh Grant, Chloe East and Sophie Thatcher in Heretic

PARLEY FOR PRESIDENT!

DURING THE ROARING TWENTIES, A UTAHN’S CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT SOUGHT TO SHAKE UP AMERICA’S TWO-PARTY POLITICS.

BY WES LONG WLONG@CITYWEEKLY.NET

Asultry summer greeted the assembled delegates to Chicago in July of 1920, but their proceedings became even more stifling by the poor ventilation of their venue and the heated feelings of their factions. Whether farmer or unionist, Socialist or reformer, teacher, minister or war veteran, these delegates had gathered for a serious task— the formation of a new political party.

Warren G. Harding and James M. Cox—the respective presidential candidates for the Republican and Democratic camps—inspired little enthusiasm for what was shaping up to be a lifeless election. Looking for someone more dynamic and progressive, most of the assembled delegates began their convention with a preference for Wisconsin’s Robert M. La Follette or even imprisoned Socialist Eugene V. Debs, but both refused entreaties.

With an unruly crowd jockeying for control, the defection of some moderates over the party platform and little agreement in sight on a candidate, the convention appeared at times to be on the verge of evaporating. Cutting through this muggy maelstrom, however, was the sound of the hammer wielded by temporary chairperson Parley Parker Christensen (1869-1954), a lawyer from Salt Lake City.

“Christensen, who stood well over six feet tall, was handsome, articulate, and genial, and he conveyed the impression of being in charge without seeming dictatorial,” wrote

historian John Sillito in 1986. “Moreover, he appeared at the convention each day in a freshly pressed white suit. When the time came to select a presidential nominee, in the words of one observer, ‘all eyes turned to the man clad in pristine white.’”

One participant further elaborated to newspapers at the time: “Christensen came to the front without a dramatic gesture that served to stampede the convention, but by a natural selection working as it can when men revert to that kind of political gathering, almost extinct in this country, in which the rank and file determine their destiny from the floor.”

Nominated for president through what would become known as the Farmer-Labor Party—with Cleveland’s Max Hayes as a running mate—this was to be Christensen’s most memorable time in the national limelight and the pinnacle of his lengthy career. Not until Evan McMullin’s independent run in 2016 would Utah produce another candidate for the American presidency.

More than a century has passed since Christensen’s run and the corridors of American politics remain sweltering for its varied participants. As the nation awaits the final tally from another high-stakes election, City Weekly invites readers to become acquainted with “the man clad in pristine white” and how he sought to bring in some fresher air.

Agronomist to Attorney

Delivered in a crude dugout of Weston, Idaho and raised in Newton, Utah, Parley Christensen was born to Peter and Sophia Christensen, Danish immigrant farmers who had come to the United States in the 1860s. Running a binding machine as a teenager, Christensen’s left hand slipped, got caught and ultimately lost two fingers. The injury made farming a difficult endeavor and redirected his future to the classroom.

Obtaining a degree in education at the University of Deseret in 1890, Christensen worked as a teacher and principal in the schools of Murray and Grantsville and became involved in local Republican politics, serving as Tooele County’s Superintendent of Schools from 1892 to 1895 and as Secretary of the Utah Constitutional Convention.

According to a 1974 study by Sillito, Christensen—a Unitarian—made enough of an impression on his Latter-day Saint neighbors through his personality and aptitude that “they chose him to serve as City Attorney, even though he had no legal degree.”

Upon his graduation from law school in New York at Cornell University, Christensen returned to Utah in 1897 and set up a practice in Salt Lake City, becoming active in numerous local welfare organizations and societies. In 1901, he became prosecuting attorney for Salt Lake County, demonstrating, in Sillito’s estimation, “a tendency for independent thinking as well as support for reformist causes.”

“Shortly after taking office,” Sillito recounted, “a group of workers, clad in overalls, invaded the City and County Building and demanded to see the County Attorney. When Christensen appeared, the laborers complained to him that the Glenn Construction Company, which had secured several municipal contracts, were compelling their employees, in violation of Utah law, to work 10 or 12 hours each day. After

he pledged to take their case to court. Ultimately, the court agreed that the company was violating the law and the eighthour day was standardized for future contracts.”

Apparently, such experiences were not isolated events. As could be expected, Christensen’s support for labor rights and contempt of partisan patronage elicited the displeasure of Utah’s Republican Party leaders, municipal contractors and those whom Christensen later termed the “bosses and bosslets” under Sen. Reed Smoot, all of whom dominated state party selection processes.

Although he later served as a member of the Utah House of Representatives under the banner of Theodore Roosevelt’s Progressive Republicans—nicknamed the “Bull Moosers”— Christensen’s long-standing tension with entrenched party powers drove him to other political pastures.

Backed into the Corner

With America’s entry into World War I, the domestic landscape experienced no shortage of tectonic shifts in terms of political temper and living conditions. Government suppression of political radicals through its “Red Scare” of public opinion had turned any left-wing reform movement into a suspect act of subversion begging for industrial courts and syndicalism laws.

Full wartime employment produced high levels of turnover and strike activity, farm prices tumbled, wages were shrinking, bankruptcy was skyrocketing and the growing ranks of migratory laborers were receiving the brunt of the blame. Immigration was in the process of being limited through quotas and national origin laws, thus heightening general feelings of racial otherness and political estrangement.

David Montgomery, in a 1987 article for International Working-Class History, pointed out that it was in this period that big business puffed “welfare capitalism” for all it was worth, shaping workers’ use of their time for the purpose of capital accumulation through an explosion of amenities and services.

“After all,” Montgomery wrote, “the productive capacity of the American economy by 1920 was more than sufficient to have secured everyone a comfortable existence without feverish toil or unemployment, if that had been the purpose to which it was directed.”

Having found little redress or vision within the country’s two major parties, it was under the aforementioned conditions that assorted labor and reform groups had gathered in Chicago to establish what became the Farmer-Labor Party. Desirous to both win votes as well as to disseminate its ideology, it was perhaps bound to displease whole swathes of its own constituency, some of whom prioritized winning over ideology, or vice versa.

The party functioned under numerous handicaps, possessed limited funds and received scant support from newspapers, observed historian Hamilton Cravens for the Pacific Northwest Quarterly.

“Paradoxically,” he wrote, “many of the very forces responsible for the formation of the Farmer-Labor party …

Parley Christensen served as an educator, city attorney and state lawmaker before running for president in 1920.

helped to defeat it, to push it into an ideological corner by itself where its political opponents could stigmatize it as ‘radical’ and ‘un-American.’”

Even so, such daunting handicaps didn’t bother Parley Christensen throughout the campaign.

“He doesn’t seem to care very much whether he is elected to office or not,” noted the San Francisco Call in its coverage of the campaign. “He is the candidate of a group and never needs to straddle any issue in order to pacify large numbers of powerful but conflicting supporters. He knows he can’t be President. But he knows also that he can be a gadfly. … Whatever happens he is content to wander around the country, conducting a guerrilla warfare with his tongue.”

One interviewer for the same newspaper later remarked that Christensen displayed none of the “oily suavity” one usually expects in a political candidate: “He is a hail-fellow-wellmet sort of person and is possessed of an open frankness that is more characteristic of a blacksmith or a boilermaker, say, than a calculating, carefully spoken man of law. … He may be asked a direct question without preliminaries and will answer with equal directness.”

Following his nomination, Christensen returned to Utah to speak to supporters and hailed the Farmer-Labor Party’s platform—already branded as dangerous and radical in various newspapers—as nothing more than an American effort to “move the capital from Wall Street to Washington, where the Constitution placed it.” He then engaged in an extensive cross-country campaign to advocate his party’s plan for national relief.

“Either the working people have got to have a voice in the control of industrial affairs or they are going to become industrial serfs,” he told a reporter in California, “and you and I— though I am an attorney—and all others who are not of and for the exploiters, are going to be relegated to a lower class caste.”

Ahead of His Time

What was this “radical” platform that so scandalized the party press and political bigwigs? Citing the U.S. Constitution’s description of governmental power being derived from the consent of the governed to serve rather than rule, the FarmerLaborites asserted that in America, the rights of the people had been seized by a few for their personal enrichment and for imperialistic ventures of exploitation.

Denouncing the “fraudulence” of World War I and the greed that had allegedly issued from post-war treaties, the FarmerLabor Party proposed the following planks among their ideas for reconstruction:

—The restoration of civil liberties (free press, asylum, trial by jury) that had been abridged since the start of the war; repeal of “espionage” and “criminal syndicalist” laws; a recall option for limited-term Federal judges and the protection of all workers to strike.

—Withdrawal of American participation in economic exploitation of conquered countries. On top of calling for abolishment of secret treaties and economic/military conscription, the platform also sought American withdrawal of “dictatorship” over the Philippines, Hawaii, Haiti, the Dominican Re-

public, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Samoa and Guam. It sought an international community of nations that were disarmed, where “there shall be no more kings and no more wars.”

—Child labor laws, equal suffrage for all, public ownership and operation of utilities and natural resources, a social security system, a federal department for education, an antecedent to the Civilian Conservation Corps, the taxation of war-acquired wealth, sufficient compensation for soldiers and disabled veterans, an agriculture based on use rather than profit and a labor bill of rights.

Looking over the platform today, Chase Thomas, senior policy director of the progressive nonprofit Alliance for a Better Utah, was struck by some of the measures that have advanced into the American mainstream over the ensuing 100 years with regard to universal suffrage, unemployment insurance and a standard 8-hour working day.

“Specific elements of the platform are not as relevant,” Thomas wrote to City Weekly, “but the themes of economic inequality and a desire for the working class to have a say are still at play in our political landscape.”

Shawn Teigen, president of the nonpartisan Utah Foundation, agreed.

“To my mind,” Teigen expressed in an email, “Parley was ahead of his time.” He noted that much of the Farmer-Labor platform could be considered a way of life today, although the party’s call for the repeal of the Espionage Act and the nationalization of utilities and natural resources still strays from what he calls the “normalcy of 100 years later.”

To these kinds of proposals, Teigen believes that Utah voters today would likely be turned off. The specificity of the overall platform, Thomas opined, would likely be another factor against it for modern voters, who would be sure to find something with which they did not agree.

The Gadfly in Winter

Well, as things turned out, the 1920 election showed the lowest level of voter participation since the 1830s, with Republican Warren G. Harding winning both the popular vote (60%) as well as the electoral one (76%). The Democrats received the remainder, although Socialist Eugene Debs received 3.41% of the popular vote, followed by Parley P. Christensen—who showed up on the ballot in only 18 states—with 0.99% of the popular vote. Christensen’s greatest base of support emanated from northern farming states like Washington.

Following the presidential election, Christensen embarked on an international tour to study global conditions. He traced his familial steps in Denmark and developed a lifelong interest in Esperanto. Upon his return, he told reporters in New York of his impressions of the post-WWI landscape, having found “less democracy” than before.

“Our war for democracy wrecked the world and while it more than doubled the millionaires, it quadrupled the breadlines,” he continued. “The present system of waste, extravagance, and profit has wholly failed.”

In his later years, he took up residence in Los Angeles, California, where he served as councilman for the city’s 9th District from 1935 to 1937 and then again from 1939 to 1949.

The fiery gadfly within him never left, however. In 1936, for instance, he stoutly refused complimentary tickets to the Olympic Games track and field trials, both because of the Games’ Nazi sponsorship as well as for the pressure tactics of city police upon local merchants into buying tickets.

While much more could be gleaned from Parley Christensen’s life, his legacy of reform and political activity through third-party action continues to pose vexing questions for today’s American politics.

Reshuffling the Deck

When asked what remains the biggest factor for the success of third-party efforts in this country, first and foremost to Dylan McDonnell’s mind was ballot access. McDonnell—a former vice chairperson for the Libertarian Party of Utah— cited the differing threshold requirements from state to state in even registering alternative parties.

“The parties making the rules to get on the ballot are also incentivized to keep as few options as possible on the ballot,” he observed. “Members from each of the two parties often decry voting third party as ‘throwing away your vote’ without realizing there are benchmarks that parties can reach by getting ballot access.”

Specificity in policy and office objectives are a must in McDonnell’s view, as are name recognition, a budgeted plan and prime social conditions.

“I like to joke that one can gauge the political climate by how many times you hear someone say, ‘The lesser of two evils,’” he added.

McDonnell cautioned, however, that there is a difference between those “idealists” who sincerely wish to shape the overall debate and “grifters” who hop onto a third-party bandwagon for quick money.

Sure, major parties have an advantage in terms of funding and infrastructure, but Alex Cragun—a former executive director of the Utah Democratic Party with experience in numerous political campaigns—sees opportunity for third-party candidates to introduce policy ideas, work on reforms and, in some cases, wield considerable background influence in the event of a split vote.

“You have to be nimble, you have to be scrappy and you have to find people who are willing to put in the work to effectively educate people about who they are and why [voters] should support them,” Cragun said of the ideal candidate. Such people “aren’t necessarily political but are community connected,” and are likely found at school board meetings and city councils.

“The issues you run on are not always the most important aspect,” Cragun acknowledged, “it’s how you present yourself and how you’re communicating with folks.”

While the political atmosphere in Utah has been largely dominated by a conservative slant over the last couple of generations, Cragun finds that Utahns generally don’t see themselves as “political” people—yet given the right concern, they do take action.

“We’ve seen over the years fewer and fewer Utahns identifying with political parties and it harkens more to kitchen-table issues,” Cragun said. “The most popular candidates that Utah has had weren’t actual people—they were ballot initiatives.”

Cragun hopes that more local citizens get involved in the democratic process, both locally and nationally. As the state and country become more and more diverse, he asserted, such looming troubles as climate change, international conflicts and unsustainable domestic appetites will continue to haunt our lives, stemming as they do from a longstanding cultural insistence on unlimited growth and endless convenience.

“Local issues are going to be the impetus to the reshuffling of our political ideology,” he stressed. “We all share the same issues, but it is to the benefit of the wealthy of this country to continue to let us be divided by things like sexuality, race, class, etc.”

Or, as Parley Christensen observed to Utah’s Park Record in 1910: “The bosses would have us be-still, stand-still, stand-pat, be reactionary.”

And we know how much use Christensen had for that kind of politics. CW

Alex Cragun said ballot initiatives have proven to be more popular than many Utah candidates.

Chase Thomas noted that many FarmerLabor positions have entered the modern mainstream.

Dylan McDonnell said the major parties are incentivized to limit the reach of thirdparty candidates.

Dining Out on Turkey Day

Don’t feel like cooking on Thanksgiving? Check out some of these local spots instead.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

With November once more upon us, it’s time to make plans for Thanksgiving—arguably the most important meal you’ll have all month. If you’re like me and enjoy eating food more than preparing it, might I suggest dining out this year? It’s a great way to support your favorite local restaurant, you’ll save yourself the stress of meal prep and, let’s be honest, a meal left to the pros will probably turn out better than your spread anyway. If dining out on Thanksgiving feels like it’s up your alley this year, then here are a few places who will treat you right.

Bambara (202 S. Main Street, SLC, 801363-5454, bambara-slc.com): Chef JV Hernandez recently stepped in as executive chef of Bambara, and the restaurant’s Thanksgiving buffet will be an excellent way for locals to get a sense of his handiwork. Bambara’s Thanksgiving buffet will take place on Nov. 28 from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m., and will run diners $85 per person. There will be plenty of autumnal delights on the docket here, including butternut squash soup, roasted turkey with wild mushroom stuffing, fresh salmon, a house pastrami ham, chai spiced sweet potatoes and much more. With its prime spot near Gallivan Plaza, Bambara is a great Thanksgiving destination for those who are looking for something tasty and classy in the downtown area.

Lupessa (156 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-6446773, lupessa.com): Since it’s a holiday that prides itself on sumptuous spreads, I feel like Thanksgiving and Italian food go hand in hand. Not only is Lupessa one of my favorite spots for multi-course Italian meals, but it’s also open on Thanksgiving this year; it’ll be perfect for those who want to eat well, but don’t really care about a stuffed turkey. I feel like a bit of whipped ricotta and a beet salad would be a great way to kick off a Thanksgiving meal here. Then you could follow it up with some burrata, risotto alla Milanesa and a nice filet mignon—not a bad spread, if you ask me.

Laurel Brasserie & Bar (555 S. Main Street, SLC, 801-258-6708, laurelslc. com): Laurel Brasserie & Bar at The Grand America hosts one of the most popular downtown SLC Thanksgiving buffets, and this year looks to be no exception. The price tag on this one is $95 for adults and $47.50 for kids older than 4; kids under 4 are free. Laurel will be hosting a brunch buffet from 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., and will also be offering a curbside pickup option

that you can order and pick up on the evening of Nov. 27 or the morning of Nov. 28. Their pickup meal includes a Waldorf salad, maple-glazed turkey breast, brown sugar ham, mashed potatoes and crispy brussels sprouts along with bread pudding and pumpkin pie for good measure.

The Salt Republic (170 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-596-1234, hyatt.com): The Salt Republic inside downtown’s Hyatt Regency will be running some Thanksgiving dinner specials on Nov. 28 from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. Its menu includes some homemade focaccia, a silky pumpkin bisque, applewood-smoked turkey with pancetta stuffing and cheesy mashed potatoes. The meals are served family style in threecourse intervals—perfect for those after a long, luxurious meal for the holiday. The price tag here will be $55 for adults and $27 for children 6-12 years old, with children under 6 dining for free. The Salt Republic will also be prepping a Thanksgiving dinner to-go, which clocks in at $45 per person, and it has all the trimmings of the dine-in menu to be enjoyed in the comfort of your own home.

Forty Three Bakery (733 Genesee Avenue, SLC, 435-962-1628, fortythreebakery.com): Those looking for something a bit more casual but no less satisfying will want to check out the Friendsgiving event

at Forty Three Bakery. The event takes place before the Thanksgiving bustle— Nov. 23 from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.—and will feature a menu that includes poached pear salads, croissant stuffing with wild mushrooms, butternut squash mac and cheese, mashed Yukon potatoes with caramelized onion gravy, roasted turkey and plenty of pie for dessert. Attendees are allowed to bring their own wine or beer, and all ages are welcome. The price tag here runs $65 per person.

Paradise Biryani Pointe (280 E. 12300 South, Ste. 110, Draper, 801-999-4133, paradisebiryaniutah.com): Whether you’re looking for something more friendly to plant-based diets, or just something far from the turkey and stuffing that you’re likely to find around town on Thanksgiving, Paradise Biryani Pointe has you covered. The menu here is focused around biryani, a savory Indian dish that features plenty of variety, much of which is on display here. Fans of traditional Indian food like tikka masala and samosas will also be satisfied with a trip here, as Biryani Pointe has plenty of curry-based food on the menu. As Paradise Bakery has folded into Biryani Pointe, diners can also satisfy their sweet tooth with a wide variety of Indianinspired cakes and desserts as well. CW

73 West 7200 South, Midvale

On Tap: Piney Peaks “West Coast IPA”

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

BewilderBrewing.com

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: Steam Lager, Oktoberfest Märzenbier

NEW: BrewSki German Pilsner, Munich Dunkel Bier

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: HARVEST - Wet Hop Amber

Craft by Proper

1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Ay Curuba! Curuba Sour

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: 2024 Big Bad Baptist Variants

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: Imperial Cider, Raspberry-Hibiscus Session Mead

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Raspberry Gose

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

On Tap: Blonde Ale; Pale Ale [Gold medalists at the Great American Beer Fest!]

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna-Style Lager

Follow us on Instagram: @ levelcrossingbrewing

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Bat Country Blonde Ale FREE yoga every other Saturday. 10:15am

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Boysenberry Hibiscus Cider for a Cure

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company

358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewing 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: Galaxy Haxy Pale - 5.0%

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Red Rock Brewing

254 So. 200 West

RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center

Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Brewers Select: Zamboni Hazy IPA

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Roosters Ogtoberfest

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Deep Dive Series - Red Ale on draft

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

Second

BEER NERD

New Zealand Zeal

Hops from down-under provide unique fruit flavors.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Our theme this week is New Zealand hopped IPAs. These Southern Hemisphere hops feature big melon flavors along with berries, citrus and tropical flavors, plus notes of diesel fuel. The diesel is not an aspect of the alcohol, but more of a compliment to the melon-like flavors and aroma.

Proper - Concerning Hops: Named for the tune “Concerning Hobbits” by composer Howard Shore derived from the soundtrack of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (which was filmed in New Zealand). This beer pours an opaque pale but cloudy straw-yellow, with a thick head of satin white foam that laces the glass exceptionally well. Grapefruit peel, pine tar, chamomile and diesel emerge on the nose.

First sip is quite bright and tasty. (I’m drinking this fairly fresh, within a week or two of it being tapped.) The hops still come across as very fresh and are quite bright for a beer with a 5.0 percent ABV. The flavor is reminiscent of ripe melon upfront, then very softly transitions into tantalizingly bitter flavors of citrus that are almost grapefruit gelato- or grapefruit sorbet. Finally, it goes slightly bitter, with long, protracted flavors of pine needles mingled in between peppery notes of diesel and even just a hint of ground mustard seed (not the condiment, but literally the ground seeds of mustard flowers). As it warms, it develops a sort of pretzel/soda bread type of note—pillowy and rich. There are soft but noticeable levels of carbonation, ensuring that it’s not flat or tepid.

Verdict: Like I said, beers like this benefit from their freshness. Do yourselves a service by checking this one out

sooner rather than later.

RoHa - Brewers Select (Zamboni): NHL fever is catching on around Utah, and breweries are on top of it as well. This New Zealand hopped IPA features Galaxy, Motueka and Ahhhroma (yep that’s the name) hops.

You get plenty of subtle radiance with this one, as the golden hue has a glow from the get-go. Enough head topped it off, and the lacing left behind covered nearly all of my pint glass, serving as an indicator of what was to come.

The nose was full-on Motueka, with its characteristic melon-ball fruitiness; think cantaloupe or honeydew. Deep and dank Galaxy, cattiness and earth appear on the nose as it drew me into this beer and never quite let go.

The taste was ballin’—melon ballin’, that is. It was not your typical Southern Hemisphere tropical fruitiness, but instead, cantaloupe and honeydew, with some peach thrown in for good measure. It feels like I’m a born-again Motueka virgin while drinking this one, as if I had never had Motueka before. The finish was semi-dry, with diesel notes but right on the cusp of semi-sweet. The fruitiness was unabating, and had it been the usual tropical suspects, I might not have enjoyed it as much as I did.

Mouthfeel was medium. This had such an earthy feel to it combined with sweetness or bitterness—a “rough around the edges” sensibility that was quite endearing—along with some deep melon and cantaloupe, that had me wanting more from the first sip onward.

Verdict: Enough booze was in this 7.0 percent ale to keep it on par with everything else that was going on, but the ripe tropical fruits, recessed carbonation, and deep, dank hops were what this beer was about. If you like your beers to be green, reach for this one. You won’t be disappointed.

These offerings are not part of their respective breweries’ regular lineup, and thus are in limited supply. You can find Zamboni at the RoHa Brewing Project in 16-ounce cans, while Concerning Hops is only on draft, and can be found at all of Proper’s pubs and restaurants. As always, cheers! CW

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Sweet Deals at Fillings and Emulsions

The team at Fillings and Emulsions (fillingsandemulsions.com) has your buns (and tarts) covered this holiday season. All of this popular local bakery’s tarts are 30% off this season, and you get a dozen fresh-baked rolls for free if you buy two tarts. Now, I am not sure how many of you have seen the beautiful work that Chef Diaz and his team do at Fillings and Emulsions, but these tarts are glossy, creamy, buttery and spectacular—perfect for an end-of-meal showstopper at your next gathering, or just something to eat in shame while you start your annual binge of Hallmark movies by yourself this year.

Lulu’s Hot Oven Closes

The Mi Ranchito’s sister concept known as Lulu’s Hot Oven recently announced its closure via Instagram (@lulushotoven). An Oct. 31 post from the pizza-and-tortas restaurant indicated that Halloween would be its last day in operation, and thanked everyone for the business over the past year. I for one will miss this place; a one-stop shop for both pizza and tortas was a bit of a longshot, but I always enjoyed the food when I paid them a visit. While their tortas were always on point, I think the birria pizza will leave the biggest hole in my heart. That innovation was brilliant, and I’ll miss having a pizza that I can fold up and dip into consommé.

Crumbl Continues to Piss People Off

In a recent press release, animal rights nonprofit The Humane League (thehumaneleague.org) announced that it has launched a campaign to petition Utah-based Crumbl Cookies to adopt a 100% cage-free egg policy. Crumbl was highlighted in The Humane League’s 2024 Cage-Free Eggsposé for sourcing eggs from caged hens, which is a practice that many national chains have since left behind. With 11 states already adopting cage-free legislation, it’s looking like Crumbl may need to seriously reconsider key parts of its sourcing model. This recent outcry is just one of the many bits of less-than-awesome press that Crumbl has received, such as the child labor law violations incurred by 11 of its franchises in 2022.

Quote of the Week: “I don’t share blame. I don’t share credit. And I don’t share desserts.” – Beverly Sills

SLC Pop

Roundup of pop bands in SLC

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Pop as a genre encapsulates so many sounds. In general, it’s music that appeals to a wide audience, has danceable tempos and easy-to-remember lyrics. That’s an oversimplification of the genre, and can make pop music sound boring or overly simple, but nothing could be further from the truth—especially when it comes to the pop artists of SLC. Here are some local pop artists you need to check out if you enjoy the genre.

Bobo: “I know I know, I told you I would go out tonight / But my boss called and I gotta open tomorrow / So I think I’m gonna change my mind,” sings pop duo Bobo on their song “Crowded Hall.” This light, airy bob comes from their most recent EP Bobo II, and perfectly captures that feeling of wanting to be out with that person (or people) that you love having a good time. You’ll certainly have a good time while listening to “Crowded Hall,” or any of the songs on Bobo II. The EP is full of beautiful vocals, punchy beats and satisfying electronic elements. This is one you’ll listen to over and over and find new elements each time.

Daytime Lover: Pop music can take many forms, and can be fused with other genres to create a unique sound.

SLC band Daytime Lover takes a bit of pop, a bit

of rock and a bit of psych, mushing them all together to create their lovely and addicting sound. Their latest EP, Shimmer, was recorded in summer 2023 and released in May 2024, and it will transport you to lazy summer nights by the pool. Reverb-drenched guitar melds beautifully with saxophone and sharp drums to create tracks that make you feel like you’re floating—where exactly to, I’m not sure, but all I know is I want to stay there for a long time. Shimmer is one of those bodies of work that you keep coming back to over and over, even when you get to the point of knowing it like the back of your hand. There’s a lot of great vibes to be had here, whether you’re at home dancing on your own, or hanging with friends.

Addison Grace: Of all the acts on this list, Addison Grace is one of the most recognizable, whether from his presence on TikTok or his debut album Diving Lessons, but if you aren’t familiar with Grace and his music, you should definitely get acquainted. Grace’s sound blurs the lines between bedroom pop, indie rock, emo and folk with ease. Diving Lessons combine themes of anger, sadness, trauma and healing with an atmospheric sound that feels incredibly full and takes up a lot of space. The darker themes in the lyrics are easy to relate to for those who have had similar life experiences, but even if you haven’t, the music is incredibly satisfying, and will keep you coming back for more.

Choir Boy: Dream-pop outfit Choir Boy have aptly dubbed themselves “SLC pop minstrels,” and their retro-yet-fresh pop sounds will make you feel like you’ve time-traveled back to the 1980s, but with all of the modern convenience of streaming. Vocalist Adam Klopp’s voice stands

MUSIC

Addison Grace

out with its deep, smooth tones, giving the music a romantic quality. Songs like “Rowdy Friends” and “Complainer” are standouts from the group, and unfortunately the band hasn’t given us new tunes since 2021 to sink our teeth into. Choir Boy, if you’re reading this: More, please.

iDKHOW: Former duo/ now solo project iDKHOW (short for I Don’t Know How But They Found Me) burst onto the scene in 2017 with an indie pop/ new wave sound that was hard to ignore. Now nearly 10 years later, iDKHOW’s music is just as addicting as ever. The most recent album from remaining iDKHOW member Dallon Weekes entitled GLOOM DIVISION is an exciting adventure full of intricate instrumentation and high energy. Like, not able to sit still while listening, high energy. GLOOM DIVISION is the perfect backdrop for a night of partying and dancing until you can’t stop.

Staycation: Sometimes you need a hefty helping of funk with your pop, and luckily Staycation has that in spades. Their music “thrives on great, rhythmic dance music, hanging out, and enjoying the simple things in life,” according to their Spotify bio. They released their debut self-titled album at the beginning of this year, and it’s so smooth that you’ll get to the end of the album and wonder how you got there so quickly. Tracks like “Running Out of Time” and “If You’re Lonely, LMK” do a splendid job of showcasing the band’s sound, but you really can’t go wrong with any of the songs on the album. Staycation is a fun indie group who definitely puts everything into their music, and it’s evident on each track. Their Spotify bio is incredibly relatable, ending by saying, “We don’t know what the future holds or have the finances to go on vacation, but at least we still find joy in the simple pleasures of life. And at the end of the day—we can always take a Staycation.” CW

THURSDAY, NOV. 7

FRIDAY, NOV. 8

SATURDAY, NOV. 9

GREAT FOOD

MUSIC PICK S

ZZ Ward, Angel White @ The State Room 11/8

“This EP is about coming back to who I am and the music I’ve always wanted to make,” ZZ Ward told Grateful Web about her new EP. “It’s a reflection of everything I’ve gone through and all the things I’ve been faced with—motherhood, self-discovery and empowerment.” The indie singer/songwriter burst onto the scene back in 2012 with her captivating debut album Til the Casket Drops, and since then she’s continued to keep listeners on the hook leading up to her new EP Mother. The title track hits hard with its emotionality and ripping guitar solos. “That’s a mother’s cry,” Ward explains. “It’s that feeling of being weighed down with this new situation. But when you get tested, you discover who you are, and that’s where the song comes from.” This EP is Ward heading in a new direction, embracing her true self. “I didn’t plan to make a blues album about motherhood—it just happened,” she said. “The blues has always been my most authentic voice, and now I’m back to it.” This stop in SLC is one of many as she shares this new music and direction with listeners. “I can’t wait to share these songs live,” she said. “It’s going to be an incredible experience to see how these stories connect with people.” Come check out ZZ Ward and Angel White Friday, Nov. 8 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $59 and can be found at thestateroompresents.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

MUSIC PICK S

ill.GATES @ Plumhouse 11/9

The dubstep/drum-and-bass combo is having its moment in the world of electronic music in Salt Lake City. The mixture of heavy basslines and fast breakbeats keeps listeners on their toes. Dylan Lane—also known as ill.GATES—has become a master at this type of music, having been part of the electronic music world since the age 13. The Toronto-born DJ and producer is described on Insomniac.com as “a bass-droppin’, educatin’, oscillatormodulatin’ space genius from the future.” It’s quite an introduction to what you will be getting into for one of his live performances. ill.GATES has had a long career, and collabs with huge names in music (EDM and outside), including Apashe, Clozee, Excision, Destroid, KJ Sawka, Vibesquad, Beats Antique, Mimosa, Opiuo, Gucci Mane, Star Wars and the Dead Kennedys. This impressive list showcases the eclecticism of his work, which truly stands out for its breakbeats and downtempo sound. Check out his ill.Methodology album to hear how he’s pulled together a big picture for other musicians to emulate; integrating psychology and philosophy into one’s music. A favorite on there is ill.Gates featuring Ana Sia’s “Extraordinary Rendition” which takes you on quite the sonic journey. ill.Gates plays at the elevated underground warehouse called Plumhouse on Saturday, Nov. 9. It may be cold out, so bundle up and be prepared to dance! Tickets cost $25 at the door. Check out their Instagram for event information and updates @plumhouseslc. (Arica Roberts)

Supersuckers @ Urban Lounge 11/11

The Supersuckers claim to be The Greatest Rock and Roll Band In the World. Who are we to disagree? Even though they jest (a bit), the group founded in Tucson, Ariz. in the late 1980s has as legitimate a claim to that title as anyone else. In practice, the group—fronted by bassist and lead vocalist Eddie Spaghetti—combines C&W with roaring punk. So while audiences might do some boot-scootin,’ the rip-roaring songs keep things rooted in the rock idiom. These days, the Supersuckers are closer to “outlaw country” than anything else, but applying any label sells the group short. Razor-sharp wit and irreverent humor are at the core of the band’s music: song titles on their latest studio set (2020’s Play That Rock N’ Roll, recorded at Willie Nelson’s home-based studio in Austin) include “Getting Into Each Other’s Pants” and “You Ain’t the Boss of Me.” One can’t go wrong with most any of the Supersuckers’ 15 plus albums—especially the live ones—but there’s really no

equivalent to catching them in the flesh. The Supersuckers come to the Urban Lounge with Atomic Bitchwax on Monday, Nov. 11 at 7 p.m. Tickets for this 21+ show are $20 at 24tix.com. (Bill Kopp)

Lemon Twigs @ Kilby Court 11/11

It’s hardly surprising that the Lemon Twigs have become a new pop sensation. Brothers Brian and Michael D’Addario’s affection for music of the ’60s and ’70s is obvious, and over the course of their five full-length studio albums, an EP and eight years of making music, they’ve explored a myriad of styles and sounds representing a decidedly radioready approach. Both brothers are singers, songwriters and multi-instrumentalists, and while they enlist a backing band on tour, they’re proficient enough to make their records entirely under their own aegis. With their shaggy locks and engaging attitude, they boast an appropriate look as well. It’s little wonder, then, that they’ve garnered the admiration of such stellar artists as Elton

John, Todd Rundgren, the Zombies, Flea, Boy George, Alice Cooper, Questlove, Iggy Pop and Michael McDonald, to name but a few. They bring to mind a mesh of Paul McCartney and Wings, Badfinger, The Beach Boys, Big Star and any number of other early architects of an essential retro rock regimen. They jokingly refer to their sound as “Mersey Beach,” an amalgam of the music that emerged from the sunny shores of Southern California and the early form of the British Invasion. While some sibling duos—think the Everly Brothers, Oasis, the Kinks—tend to quarrel and quibble incessantly, the D’Addario brothers are clearly intent on making their parents proud. Credit these Lemon Twigs with creating a flavorful treat with a decidedly big beat. The Lemon Twigs play Kilby Court on Monday, Nov. 11 at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $28 - $76 at vividseats.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

Dance With The Dead @ Urban Lounge 11/12

Styles, sounds and idioms of the ’80s are exerting such an influence on the current culture. The images with DeLoreans, palm trees, girls in sunglasses framed against window blinds and jagged, slanting pink neon typeface scream hypnagogic

Reaganopop. However, Dance With The Dead’s aesthetic pulls from metal fantasy and classic blood-and-guts flicks. A Southern California duo, Justin Pointer and Tony Kim are music geeks first, with a taste for the cinematic as well as metal/horror enthusiasts. Established back in 2013, Dance With The Dead takes that modern retro-electronic rock/dark-synth sound to a whole new level of awesome. “As we kept making more records and more songs, guitars in a way also kind of became like the vocal part of the music, along with the synthesizers,” Kim told Bloody-Disgusting. com. “Rather than just doing a fancy solo, we come up with catchy melodic riffs that anyone can kind of hum.” Look, it’s easy to be noisy, atonal and “difficult to listen to,” but it takes real talent to craft a great song or make a great groove. With over seven albums, four EPs and countless worldwide tours, Dance With The Dead ride that fine line of distinction between restorative and reflective nostalgia while emulating a sound with an understanding of where it all came from. Korine opens. Catch these acts at the Urban Lounge on Tuesday, Nov. 12. Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $22 at 24tix.com. (Mark Dago)

Lemon Twigs

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I rarely recommend acquisitive behavior. But my analysis tells me you have cosmic authorization to indulge in a sublime version of voracity. We might also refer to it as a license to practice a spiritually correct variety of greed. The fine print: You should not interpret this as permission to amass materialistic treasures and status symbols. Instead, the things you gather will be rich feelings, encounters with inspiring beauty, epiphanies about your divine purpose and exquisite states of consciousness. You can also ask for and receive colossal supplies of love and affection.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

The last time I ate a hamburger was in 1994. I doubt I will eat another. Why? The taste is not enjoyable to me and no matter how well I chew it, my stomach rebels. There’s an additional problem: For several reasons, cattle farming is a significant factor in the climate crisis. I would rather not contribute to the decimation. Does my attitude toward hamburgers mean I am a judgmental, close-minded zealot? No. I don’t proselytize to those who relish burgers, especially if they take other measures to reduce their carbon footprint. In this horoscope, dear Taurus, I am illustrating an approach I hope you will cultivate in the coming weeks. Be extra zealously devoted to your ideals and proclivities without condemning and dismissing those who don’t share them.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

There are numerous approaches to getting good results from meditation. One is to sit silently and still in a tranquil sanctuary. Another is to lie on the ground under a dark sky and beseech the stars to bestow inspiration. One of my personal favorites is to sing rowdy hymns to birds, insects and trees while hiking vigorously in nature. How many other varieties can you imagine, Gemini? The coming weeks will be a favorable time to develop and expand your meditation skills. Here’s a key consideration: How can you achieve maximum fun while meditating? I recommend you free your mind to experiment with a host of interesting approaches.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

If there was ever a time to indulge in creatively rowdy thoughts and inspirationally unruly behavior, it would be now. Life is giving you license to de-emphasize decorum and formalities and emphasize boisterous enthusiasm and plucky adventures. For your mental health, I believe you need to engage in experimental improvisations with maverick expressions. What areas of your life need liberation? What feelings need to be released from constraints? What worn-out theories and opinions should be abandoned?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Are your talents even slightly underrated and overlooked by others, Leo? Have your gifts received less than the full appreciation they deserve? Could you be of greater service and inspiration to your fellow humans if only your offerings were better known? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I’m pleased to tell you that the coming months should bring remedies. Life will be conspiring with you to help spread your influence and boost your clout.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

I wish it were true that the forces of darkness are lined up in opposition to the forces of light. Life would be so much easier for you. But I’m afraid it’s not that simple and clear. In my view, a more accurate metaphor might be that the energies of smoky gray are squaring off with the energies of dusky beige. Each side has a touch of both wrongness and rightness, a bit of ugliness and beauty. So what is the most honorable role you can play in this showdown? My suggestion is to develop a third side, an alternate way.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In the early part of his career, Libran author Mario Puzo wrote short stories and novels, but never a screenplay. At age 49, he was asked by director Francis Ford Coppola to

co-write the script for the film The Godfather. It turned out to be a sensational rookie effort. He was ultimately awarded an Academy Award for it, and later garnered another Oscar for his screenplay for The Godfather Part II It was only then that Puzo realized he had found his calling and decided he should study the art of screenwriting. In the first chapter of the first book he bought about the subject, he read with great amusement that the ideal screenplay was the one by Mario Puzo for The Godfather I bring this story to your attention, Libra, because you are approaching a time with resemblances to Puzo’s situation before Coppola solicited his work. Trust your rookie instincts!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In the life cycle of a butterfly, the earliest stages are larva and pupa. As a larva, the future beauty crawls around as a caterpillar, cramming itself with nutritive substance. After it transitions into the pupa state, it’s inert for a while, working on the inside of its cocoon to transform itself into its ultimate form. I don’t want to be too literal about the comparison, but my sense is that your time as a larva will last another two months, whereupon you will begin your pupa phase. When will you emerge as a winged creature? It depends on how earnestly you work as a pupa, but I expect no later than March 2025.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Brian Wilson, co-founder of the Beach Boys, is one of the most innovative and imaginative songwriters ever. Many of his compositions have become bestselling hit tunes. But he had a rough start in his craft. The first song he ever wrote was “Surfin.’” He submitted it to fulfill an assignment in his high school music class, but his teacher gave it an F, the lowest possible grade. Fifty-eight years later, Wilson returned to the school for a visit, and the new principal changed his original grade to an A. I foresee a comparable event occurring in your life sometime soon: a vindication, restitution, or reparation.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Earlier this year, 79-year-old rock singer Rod Stewart performed his greatest hits during a multi-city tour in many countries. “I shall never retire!” he proclaimed. Can you guess what astrological sign he is? Capricorn, of course. Many members of your tribe age very well, displaying stamina and vitality into later life. I bring this to your attention because I think you are close to discovering new secrets and tricks that will serve you well as you ripen. Here are some meditations that might be helpful: 1. What haven’t you been ready to do before, but might be soon? 2. What fun things would you love to be doing years from now, and how could you seed their future growth?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Scientists have discovered the fossil remains of more than 700 dinosaur species buried underground. But the experts agree there are many more down there. Previously unknown species are still being unearthed every year. Let’s use these facts as a metaphor for your life in the coming months. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you could learn a host of fresh truths about your history. You may have imagined that your past is finished and finalized, but it’s not. I encourage you to have fun hunting for revelations and investigations that will transform the story of your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

You haven’t fully tapped into all of your vast potentials, Pisces. Latent talents and aptitudes within you may still be at least partially dormant. And it’s even possible that some of your future powers are so foreign to your self-concept that they will feel like magic when they finally come into full expression. But now, here’s the very good news: The coming months will be an excellent time for you to figure out what you need to do to express a more complete version of yourself.

Pamper Yourself

BOTOX Jeuveau and Xeomin $8 a unit

A NEW DAY SPA

4970 SOUTH 900 EAST #J MURRAY UT 84117

801-272-3900

WWW.ANEWDAYSPA.COM

urban LIVING

Trans Away

Well, this is something I never expected—clients and potential customers are calling me to sell their homes. That’s not unusual, but the why is unusual and disturbing.

They are calling me because they are leaving Utah due to the anti-trans laws our phobic Legislature has passed and they simply don’t feel like they and/or their children will be treated fairly or receive future health care here that addresses their needs.

There’s a “Final Pre-Election 2024 Anti-Trans Risk Assessment Map” (look it up), which came out this year and was updated before we all voted earlier this week. It shows which states have a “Do Not Travel” warning (Texas first, with Florida a close second) and which states may be safer.

If you go to the map (at aclu. org/legislative-attacks-on-lgbtqrights-2024) you can click on each state and it will show you the legislative bills that have passed or were defeated there. The map will be updated as bills are written for future legislation in 2025 around the country.

You may not have heard or seen any anti-trans ads here in Utah—because national politicians don’t spend much money on ads in a solidly “Red” state— but across the U.S. anti-trans ads were a major part of many of this year’s campaigns.

If you select Utah on the website, you’ll see there are 10 bills the ACLU followed that passed into law or were defeated, including public accommodation bans, school facilities bans, etc. It’s a real fear of parents around the country and in Utah that their trans kids might be taken from them or that our legislators will meet this January and pass laws to force trans kids and people into medical detransitions, ban the use of anything but dead names or disallow gender to be changed in legal documents. Cities and towns can pass similar kinds of laws, like Odessa, Texas, which became the first city in the nation to pass a $10,000 bounty on transgender people inside bathrooms.

The rise of anti-trans bills around this country is astounding and, sadly, the fearmongers will submit more laws next year to restrict gender-affirming health care for trans and gender-expansive people, with most bills targeting children under 18.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. President Franklin

7. Immediately

11. Leatherworker’s poker

14. Of a part of the heart

15. LBJ son-in-law Charles

16. By way of

17. *Big, round housecats (answers to starred clues are new words added to Collins Official, for international non-US play as of 1/1/25)

18. *Most materialistic and high-class (using four different vowels)

20. In ___ (basically)

21. Golf stroke

22. Algonquian-speaking Canadian group

23. Four-hour movies, maybe 25. Feathered scarf

26. *Flattens out like a hot resting dog (just a fun word to say)

29. *Whatchamacallit (previously in the list, but with a Y)

33. Infants’ sicknesses

34. Four-handed piano song

35. Psychologist/writer/PBS host LeShan

36. Little help

37. Mario’s brother

39. Video games playable by large groups simultaneously

40. Happy tail movement

41. Bit of a cloud

42. American tennis star Stephens

44. *”Isn’t that true?” (not a type of mineral)

46. *Became a huge fan of (all tenses are now fair game)

47. “Oh yeah? ___ who?”

48. “The ___ Kid” (1950s Western)

49. Liquidation event

51. Oktoberfest ___ (website with an “O’Fest Essentials” category)

53. Nevada neighbor

56. *Cranial attack in a fight (surprisingly, new to the list as one word)

58. *Subject-changing segue word (either spelling is new)

60. Java brewer

61. Multigenerational baseball surname

62. Sweetsop relatives

63. “Yup,” without the out-loud part

64. Forrest played by Tom Hanks

65. Malaria-carrying fly

DOWN

1. Lobby gp.

Dr. Diana Finkel at Rutgers University Medical School told Reuters in Aug. 2023 that “If you, as the parent of a 16-year-old, want your child to have breast augmentation because she wants a larger bosom and she is a cisgender girl, she can do it,” but observed that the law would ban a trans girl from having the same surgery.

We don’t yet know the final outcome of this week’s election, but it’s certain that the creation of anti-trans laws and their enforcement will continue despite what so many medical professionals and their research have found … that touting the mental and physical health benefits of gender-affirming care is good for children and adults seeking to transition. n

2. “Am ___ only one?”

3. Greek god of love

4. Wash, as containers for leftovers

5. Sweet spheroid on a stick

6. Golfer Ernie

7. Photographer Diane

8. Chimney remnants

9. Be adjacent to

10. Simple sandwich, for short

11. Statistician’s unnamed guy

12. Sagacious

13. “The ___ Show with Stephen Colbert”

19. Desktop image

21. Computer lab inventory

24. “This party rocks!”

25. Commit to the ___

26. Uh, it’s a vowel sound

27. King of Troy in “The Iliad”

28. Place for “iced tea”?

29. Harbor hauler

30. Bank jobs

31. “What Have ___ to Deserve This?” (Pet Shop Boys song)

32. Became less difficult

34. Tzatziki, for example

38. Fair ___ laws

39. Any one species constituting a genus

41. “The ___” (Diana Ross musical)

45.

49.

50.

51. “Life & Beth” streamer

52. Molecular component

54. At the drop of ___

55. “___ the weather up there?”

57. Checkout purchase (if you forgot to bring one)

58. Fitting

59. Sugar suffix

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

43. Gaps

Oregon college near Portland

46. Maya Harris, to Kamala Harris

48. Jokester

Avoid

Bubbly British chocolate bar

NEWS of the WEIRD

BY

‘Tis the Season

If the waiting list isn’t too long, you may still have a chance to visit McKamey Manor in Summertown, Tennessee, an “immersive horror” experience that is personalized to each guest and involves a six-hour-long tour. People magazine reported on Oct. 8 that guests are required to sign a 40-page waiver and must be over 21; in addition, they may have to complete a “sports physical” and provide proof of medical insurance before arriving. “We’re known for no quitting and no safe word,” said owner and Navy veteran Russ McKamey. “Your hair may be chopped off, dentistry may be done, you may have a tooth extracted.” McKamey was arrested in July for second-degree attempted murder, rape and domestic violence after an incident with his girlfriend, but the charges were dropped in September, and McKamey Manor is up and running.

What’s in a Name?

Hades Funeral Services in Stalowa Wola, Poland, had to apologize after a mishap with a corpse on Oct. 19, the Associated Press reported. “As a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse,” the company announced, “during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred”—that is, the corpse came flying out the back of the car and landed in a crosswalk. The accident “does not reflect the high standards of our company ... and the respect we always show to the deceased,” Hades claimed.

The Way the World Works

Stop that hugging! Travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin better say their goodbyes at home, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. The airport’s drop-off area will now restrict parting hugs to three minutes in an effort to prevent traffic jams. Airport CEO Dan De Bono said officials hope to “keep things moving smoothly.” Not all travelers were accepting of the time limit, saying the rule “breached basic human rights.” But, De Bono assured them, “We do not have hug police.”

Suspicions Confirmed

Nope, that wasn’t Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on your pizza. Police in Dusseldorf, Germany, uncovered a drug ring after busting a pizzeria manager who was selling a popular “No. 40” pie, which was delivered with a side of cocaine, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. As officers buzzed the apartment of the manager, he threw a bag of cocaine, cannabis and money out the window, which landed in the officers’ hands. After the manager was released, he went right back to delivering No. 40, and that’s when investigators uncovered the supply chain, arresting three suspects and raiding the homes of 12 others. Pizza man is back in custody.

Speaking of Whales ...

The orca show audience at SeaWorld San Antonio on Oct. 12 was treated to a little something extra when the whale defecated in the pool, then splashed the soiled water onto spectators, United Press International reported. The crowd and employees were hit with the poopy water; SeaWorld has not commented.

Weird in the Wild

Matilda Campbell was visiting the Hunter Valley on Oct. 12 in New South Wales when she dropped her phone into a 3-meter crevice between two boulders, The Guardian reported. Instead of waving goodbye and heading to the mobile store, Campbell tried to retrieve the device. That’s when she slipped upside down into the gap and hung there for seven hours as her friends and emergency workers tried to free her. The team navigated Campbell through a “tight S bend.” “In my 10 years as a rescue paramedic, I had never encountered a job quite like this,” said Peter Watts. “It was challenging but incredibly rewarding.” Campbell, in her early 20s, escaped with only minor scratches and bruises. Her phone is a goner.

It’s a Mystery

Scientists in Canada are trying to figure out what the white blobs are that are washing up on Newfoundland beaches. The masses range in size from a coin to a dinner plate, United Press International reported recently, and started appearing in September. Officials said the mystery substance is under investigation, and opinions are split about whether it could be coming from a whale. “An answer would be nice,” groused resident Dave McGrath.

Fetish Afoot

A 28-year-old Greek man was arrested on Oct. 8 in Sindos, Greece, after a neighbor reported that he was in the front yard, sniffing his family’s shoes, which had been left outside to air out. The Associated Press reported that the sniffer told the court that he couldn’t explain his behavior and was embarrassed about it, stressing that he had no intention of hurting anyone. On Oct. 17, the judge sentenced him to a month in prison and mandatory therapy.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

n Is today April 1? The Campbell’s Co. announced on Oct. 23 that for a limited time, it is changing the name of its popular Pepperidge Farm cheese snacks from Goldfish to ... Chilean Sea Bass. CNN reported that the switch is part of a strategy to attract adult fans, and the crackers themselves will not change. “We know Goldfish are ... loved by snackers of all ages. ... We went ahead and gave our iconic cheddar cracker a new, fun, grown-up name,” said Danielle Brown, vice president of Goldfish. (Best job title ever.)

n In Chestertown, Maryland, students have been studying since 1782 at Washington College, WTOP-TV reported. Our nation’s first president gave permission for his name to be used for the school, and even contributed 50 guinea coins toward its founding. But on Oct. 8, the college announced that it would update its logo, adopted in 2013, which traditionally uses the general’s scripty signature, for something less cursive-y. “Because cursive writing is no longer taught universally in K-12 education, the script ... was difficult to read and not immediately recognizable for many prospective students,” said Brian Speer, the college’s vice president for marketing and communications.

Government in Action

After an adult man injured himself on a cactus in a school building in Plettenberg, Germany. Mayor Ulrich Schulte and the town council have moved to ban cacti from all municipal buildings, schools and nurseries, Sky News reported on Oct. 16. “All official and private cacti must be removed,” Schulte proclaimed, because such plants can cause “ugly injuries.” “Even if this order seems adventurous, superfluous or ridiculous to some employees, it has a serious background in terms of protecting the health of all employees and especially children,” he said.

Redneck Chronicles

Ernest T. Bass has nothing on Roy Clowder, 37, of Coden, Alabama. On Oct. 11, WALA-TV reported, Clowder, who was already on probation, allegedly approached a woman who had stopped at a convenience store and asked her for a ride home. She agreed to take him, but he displayed a gun and told her to move to the passenger seat. Clowder took her to a local church, where he and the woman had a “makeshift wedding” on the church steps. They returned to the car, where Clowder assaulted her while driving around Mobile County; he eventually released her and her car. Authorities arrested Clowder the next day, charging him with first-degree sexual abuse, first-degree kidnapping and first-degree robbery. He’s being held without bond.