City Weekly November 21, 2024

MORAL PANIC

DIRTY LAUNDRY PILES UP AT UTAH’S ANTI-PORN AND ANTI-TRAFFICKING

CHARITIES.

BY MICHAEL DEAN MCGRADY JR

Michael Dean McGrady Jr.

SLC FORECAST

S AP

BOX

Are You Not Entertained?

The movie Gladiator II entertains hugely. However, it does not educate people about how vengeance came to be the ruling principle of civic and international life in ancient Rome. That rogue philosophy resulted from the drying up of Rome’s system of civics education and from the unregulated accumulation of money and power.

Yes, characters in the two Gladiator movies have a “dream of Rome” as it once was. But there is no hint of how or why democracy happens in the real world

of history. The two movies are full of throat-slashing violence, mutated baboons and man-eating sharks—the kind of stuff that makes rich producers richer and poor people poorer.

If it were put in a modern context, Gladiator II would be about a young Muslim in Gaza whose family was killed, thus radicalizing him during America’s puppet war there. He comes to America to exact revenge on the political establishment that harmed his family.

Because we are so busy being entertained with the low-life elements of an ancient culture, we are learning nothing about how to avoid reliving Rome’s history in America.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY Woods Cross

Best of Utah 2024

Imagine being 53 years old and saying something is “based.” [Worst Utahn Mike Lee] log off and go spend some time with your wife, dude.

XANDERBRICKEY Via Instagram

If I were a betting person who would bet on MAGA sports/politics, I’d place money on old Based Mike Lee to get a SCOTUS nomination from the Orange One (or his successor, Vance).

CATHERESTILL Via Instagram

Can we launch all 3 [Worst Utahn] finalists into the sun please?

RENDERNEGATIVE Via Instagram

City Weekly is already the Best of Utah.

TACOSDONRAFA_MILLCREEK Via Instagram

Y’all are a bunch of POS bozos.

MINUTEAFTER8 Via Instagram

Man. City Weekly has really gone to shit. Pure clownery.

STEPHEN HEBER RUSHTON Via Facebook

I love to see the bike speaker guy made the [Best Utahn] list! Even if his music wakes me up on Thursday nights.

CJSPAYER Via Instagram

Erin Mendenhall to Mitt Romney [in Best Elected Official] is wild, LOL.

PUNKROCKMAYORSLC Via Instagram

You really missed with the Made-Up Controversy category. The displacement of communities is not something to be flippant or callous about.

STEPHMVEG Via Instagram

“Stamp Acts,” Nov. 14 Hits & Misses

Everyone should have an easy way to vote. Mail-in voting is best for seniors. I heard about long lines at the polls.

JEFF MYERS Via Facebook

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

When was the last time you were proud of yourself?

Katharine Biele

Last night, when I ran a webinar on open meetings and public records. These are small things I can do for democracy.

Scott Renshaw

When I managed to reply to this Water Cooler prompt earlier than the day of the deadline.

Kelly Boyce

After filming Get Freaky and the Afters for three days while making after-movie reels immediately after.

Kayla Dreher

Waking up this morning without pushing snooze!

Paula Saltas

When my homemade yogurt turned out perfectly yesterday. I’m practically perfect in every way!

Benjamin Wood

I managed to get the Christmas lights up at my house before the weather turned unbearably cold.

Wes Long

It’s always an honor to assist, however modestly, the mending of fences and healing of wounds among my friends. A couple such instances occurred this year.

PRIVATE EYE

BY JOHN SALTAS

Bluetah Cometh

It’s only been two weeks since election day—and just 206 weeks away from our next presidential election (should we even have another)—and, by golly, it appears winter did indeed come early to Utah. They are not completely silent, but it’s noticeable that the formerly upbeat folks (including moi) who predicted a Kamala Harris win over Donald Trump are a bit less rosy-cheeked these days.

What rosy Utah cheeks one does see are not due to cheerfulness, nor to the impact upon them from the frosty winds blowing from the Arctic North. For the first time in the history of jet streams and air pressure zones, a different freezing wind is a-blowin’, sent forth from what future historians will fairly describe as the transplanted cold heart of America itself: Florida.

But what do we expect from Florida anyway? Name an important or famous Floridian besides Henry Morrison Flagler, who basically created Florida. No one outside the circles of capitalist American history would even know who Flagler is, so that leaves only Carrot Top, Jim Morrison, Wesley Snipes and a pitiful few others who actually admit to being from Florida, despite Flagler lending them every opportunity.

Well, there’s possibly Janet Reno, but I thought she was from Nevada. And, yeah, Ernest Hemingway, Winslow Homer and Thomas Edison were Floridians, but they had the good graces to leave or die before Florida became the modern hellhole it is today.

Florida is where people escape from to be free of the people escaping to Florida. Like Donald Trump, who has basically moved the White House there.

Sure, the election showed that decency took a nosedive and honor took a cold-cocked right hook. There’s no point in belaboring that ethics and morality have been revealed to have no meaningful relevance in today’s political discourse. America’s once honorable, stone-cut attributes and core beliefs now take a back seat in the bipolar express that favors the botoxed and power-hungry quislings who seek favor at Mar-a-Lago.

When one discovers that the warmest heart among the entire lot of Mar-a-Lago Trump toys—the current cabinet nominees for positions in his next administration—pumps blood through the body of Florida Senator Marco Rubio, you know you’re in for a cold spell. At least three of Trump’s appointees face credible sexual abuse allegations. You thus know that such proclivities (once a disqualifier not only on moral grounds, but also because such activities reveal blackmail opportunities) are no longer career barriers, so long as the mission of exacting revenge upon foes and imaginary demons is done. And maybe blackmail is being done, but never mind that.

Over the coming months, we’ll all discover which side of the bed we sleep on—the cold or the warm—and we’ll all discover, as have all other occupiers of similar historical beds, that no one will be sleeping well. Blankets will tug and new alliances made.

It’s already happening. Some residents of red areas within blue states are calling for new borders to be drawn so that they might join a neighboring red state.

Residents of Weld County, Colorado, are clamoring to leave their Coors Beer behind and join their non-beerproducing neighbors in Wyoming. Sections of Illinois want to create a new state that doesn’t include folks who eat Chicago Dogs. Parts of California seek to be free of San Francisco liberals and Hollywood elites. The best-known movement thus far is being driven by the supposedly forsaken rural residents of eastern Oregon, who want to be pulled into the gawdawful orbit of Idaho.

I say go for it. Indeed, in a country where our formerly

common institutional currencies of human value are now debased, why not? Utah residents should do the same— but the opposite. If the residents of southern Illinois have legitimate claim to disenfranchisement, then so do the residents of Salt Lake County with but one glaring difference: Residents of Salt Lake County have it worse.

This is an ideal time for Salt Lake County—and Summit County, too—to leave red Utah and form its own new state. A decent placeholder name can be the barely original Bluetah. It will do for now.

Harris got more votes (273,000) in just Salt Lake County than did Trump in the entire state of Wyoming (193,000). Democrats Bill Campbell (67% in Salt Lake County) and Nathaniel Woodward (62%) beat hell in the 1st and 2nd Congressional Districts. It was more of a horse race in the 3rd District that favored Republican Mike Kennedy. Why does Wyoming have three members of Congress while Salt Lake County has zero but should have at least two?

No matter. I’m a fair person. Thus, my first executive order as president of Bluetah will be to leave the cities of Draper and Herriman in red Utah. Less than 50% of both Salt Lake County and Summit County residents are Latter-day Saints. Yet our Legislature is more than 85% LDS, with a paltry few members either ethnic or workingclass citizens.

Bluetah should happen and it should include Grand County, Ogden and Roy for good measure. Blue zones generate (with the feds, mind you) a disproportionate share of the tax base that allows for the Cox clan and others down in Sanpete County (82% to Trump) to run their farming or turkey operations while their gas-guzzling farm implements convey water-sucking alfalfa off to China on roads afforded by urban taxpayers who they commonly despise. They say the blues will starve without the reds. Nope, it’s the other way around. Americans—Utahns—need to share the blanket. Because the blue zones are what again? Yep, cold. CW

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele BY

MISS: AG Gagging

It should surprise no one that our elected officials are interested in enhancing their personal brands. Attorney General Sean Reyes fought long and hard to keep his calendar from the public—you know, the public that elected him and pays his salary. Then a district court judge ruled the calendars should be released, and a settlement with The Salt Lake Tribune and KSL-TV set them free for all to view. What was obvious was that Reyes, who may have been pursuing legitimate issues, was also wildly interested in beefing up his persona as a Marvel-like fighter against child sex trafficking and opioid abuse. True to the spirit of our supermajority Legislature, lawmakers responded to the court’s ruling by immediately passing a law making calendars of all Utah leaders secret. Still, what was clear was that Reyes enjoyed the limelight, the world travel and, perhaps, whatever grift he might have gotten from promoting businesses and their products.

MISS: Cold as Ice

They’re not hard-hearted. They wish they could help. They’re trying to find a solution. But alas, the unsheltered may be spending a cold, potentially deadly night on the streets anyway. The good people of Davis County just couldn’t find a place to put these frightening homeless people far enough from Godfearing residents. One reason, some said, was that housing them—even for one night—would not allow easy access to resources. Say, what? Mountain Road Church in Fruit Heights had offered “Code Blue” services to shelter the homeless, but residents were stunned. “My number one concern is the safety of my community,” one resident told Fox-13. “You bring in 16 or 18, you cannot force someone to stay in a building, you cannot force them back on a bus, they have constitutional rights, they are able to walk the streets, and they would break into buildings, break into homes.” Scared, much? As we enter the holiday season, residents should experience 18 degrees on the streets, and perhaps think about, yes, WWJD?

HIT: The Rights Stuff

The City of St. George is going to have none of that drag-show business. Ever since an HBO series highlighted the fabulous costumes of drag queens, city officials have had their panties in a bunch. While there was nothing sexual in the drag shows, well, there could be. Southern Utah Drag Stars sued the city when it denied them a permit for a 2023 show. But even after a federal judge cleared the way for a performance, the City Council came up with a new law, which the ACLU claims creates new problems. Now the city is about to fight another lawsuit over First Amendment rights. True to the puritanical mindset in Utah, the Legislature passed a law to criminalize “lewdness involving a child.” Anything that might likely “cause affront or alarm or with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of the actor or the child.” If that means drag shows, lawmakers surely haven’t been to one. Still, the ACLU is on the case—as it should be. CW

Hair Apparent B

ack in September, City Weekly news editor Benjamin Wood emailed me with the question, “Are you watching The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?”

(He’s relatively new around this publication, probably unaware of my disdain for reality TV shows that stretches back to the early 2000s—I’ll let his egregious inquiry slide.)

Wood continued: “I’m not too proud to admit that I am. It’s delicious local trash.” Then he asked if I’d consider writing about the Hulu series for City Weekly, either as a TV column or a Small Lake City entry. I passed.

But then, a series of events led me to change my mind. First, Hulu announced that the first season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives would make its broadcast debut on ABC in January—both ABC and Hulu are owned by Disney, BTW—following the 2025 premiere of The Bachelor. This will mean millions more eyeballs on Utah, for better or worse.

Then, I ran across an October Wall Street Journal article about “Utah Curls,” the new, hot fashion trend of long, beach-wave hair inspired by a reality show set in a state with no beaches (unless you’re the Toxic Avenger on vacation, the Great Salt Lake doesn’t count).

Thirdly, I was laid off from Corporate America recently (actual phrase: “Your role has been reduced”), so now I’ll write about pretty much anything for money. Don’t judge me.

For those unfamiliar with The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, it follows the daily drama of gratuitously named Latter-day Saint women and social media “MomTok” influencers Taylor Frankie Paul, Demi Engemann, Jennifer Affleck, Jessi Ngatikaura, Layla Taylor, Mayci Neeley, Mikayla Mathews and Whitney Leavitt. Taylor Frankie Paul gained viral preshow infamy from a “soft swinging” scandal that she, her ex-husband and other Mormon couples were involved with; the rest are far less interesting.

But back to that hard-hitting WSJ expose of “Utah Curls”: Women across the country are now spending thousands of dollars to achieve the hair-extension-ed look of the Mormon Wives.

“The goal is to be beautiful,” an exLDS woman told the Journal. “But to be beautiful in the same way.”

Mission accomplished—the Mormon Wives are indistinguishable from one another. Well, except maybe Layla Taylor, the lone brunette in the bunch. Her addiction to dirty soda (another Utah staple) will do her in by season 3, though, when she’ll be replaced with another Stepford blonde and no one will be the wiser.

So, get ready for a roaring beach wave of attention when The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is broadcast to millions of national viewers in January, Utah.

Also, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? Your 15 minutes are up. CW

BILL FROST

DANCE

Back Around Again

Themes of listening and community connection emerge in the return of I Am…

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

As people still wrestle with their raw emotions in the wake of the November elections, it might seem like a challenging time to present a creative work inspired by an awareness of systemic, institutional racism and police violence against Black bodies. And it’s true that there is a kind of political message in I Am…, receiving a return engagement this year from Repertory Dance Theatre after its 2023 premiere— but according to choreographer Natosha Washington, that message might not be exactly the one you’re expecting.

“In the past, I’ve very much struggled with creating anything that would be kind of in-your-face, politically-charged,” Washington says. “And it’s not a fear of me saying the thing; I think I’ve become pretty good at saying what I feel. But there are some things, when it comes down to your own life experience and you put it out there, you want to say, ‘You don’t get to comment on this, because this is my experience.’ Sometimes we forget the value of simply listening, of taking information in. That’s part of why we as a society feel so polarized now: We are not taking the time to stop and listen and hear each other.”

The origins of I Am…—and the personal experience that inspired it—date back to 2018, and a shorter work titled Say Their Names that was commissioned by RDT. It was a piece that emerged from a time of more general reckoning surrounding police violence against Black and brown peo-

ple, but was ultimately shaped by Washington’s personal experience with a family member dying in an incident of police violence. Yet it was so close to home, that Washington initially didn’t even realize it was weighing on her creative process.

“I went into the theater with RDT, and I was trying to ignore it, [thinking] ‘I’m just going to create dance,’” Washington recalls. “And I kept getting stuck. Generally speaking, I don’t get stuck; I always know what I’m doing, but I had no idea. The reason I was getting stuck was, without paying attention, I wasn’t allowing myself to create what it was that my whole being needed to express.”

In the aftermath of Say Their Names, Washington and RDT agreed that an expanded, evening-length interpretation of similar themes was warranted. I Am… premiered last year, including original music by Trevor Price and a narrated component by actor (and longtime friend of Washington’s) Dee-Dee Darby-Duffin. As Washington recalls, one point of particular emphasis in creating the longer work was making sure that the transition points allowed viewers to absorb and process what they had experienced.

“I did have to think about the transitional component for audiences and dancers,” she says. “I wanted there to be a place for the work to be felt, held and observed. So I’m not a fan of quick transitions.”

Since this is the second time in just over a year that the RDT company has performed this piece—with just one individual dancer changing in the cast from 2023— it might seem like a chance to slip into a familiar groove. But Washington believes that everything that has transpired in the lives of the artists involved will inevitably make the work different and unique, even from last year’s version.

“What I’m excited about is, having done this a year ago, and having [the dancers] live in it for a year,” Washington says.

“Those experiences will impact the way these stories will be interpreted. One of the dancers is currently experiencing great

loss. When you have this significant impact of life that happens, and it directly impacts your community, we have these people that we need to lean on. And you have to feel okay to lean. I have this belief and this hope that this piece is going to have a really profound shift from last year, and how it’s bringing the dancers together.”

Of course, one significant shift from last year is that aforementioned election—and while Washington initially notes with surprise that she hadn’t really considered how I Am… might be seen in that context, she does realize that it has some resonance.

“I think it’s going to say some things that validate people’s feelings,” she says. “I

think it will impact people in a way that says, ‘We have to be there for each other.’ … It’s undeniable, this piece of, ‘Oh, this has happened. This continues to happen. How am I going to be part of the change? And even if I don’t have the ability to make a change on a large scale, what can I do inside a smaller community?’” CW

REPERTORY DANCE

Repertory Dance Theatre’s I Am...

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Sean Dorsey Dance:

The Lost Art of Dreaming

Like all art forms, dance—and particularly modern dance—has evolved greatly over the years and decades. Yet there might still be an expectation in audiences about gendered norms in the art form, whether in terms of costuming or in terms of the gender expression of dance partners. Those expectations are continuously turned upside down, however, by choreographer Sean Dorsey, a transgender man who has made it a priority over more than 20 years to create work celebrating the experience of queer, non-binary, gender-expansive and trans people.

His current production, The Lost Art of Dreaming, showcases Dorsey’s talent for story-based dance, unique combinations of dancers of all gender expressions and fabulous costumes. While the show has been touring for a couple of years already, it feels sadly timely for a community fearing what might be soon to come in America. “As queer and trans folk, we don’t grow up being told we have a right to dream about our futures,” Dorsey said in a 2023 interview with The Bay Area Reporter. “And especially at this brutal moment in America—well, when has it not been a brutal moment—permission to dream and feel joy is hard to come by. I created this show as a love letter to longing and our deepest dreams.”

Sean Dorsey Dance brings The Lost Art of Dreaming to Kingsbury Hall (1395 E. Presidents Circle) on Thursday, Nov. 21 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $13 - $57; visit utahpresents.org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

From Our Friends At

theESSENTIALS

Matteo Lane @ Kingsbury Hall

Fifteen years into his career as a standup comedian, Matteo Lane has absolutely carved out a distinctive niche for himself as an out gay man sharing stories—often TMIpersonal ones—about his life and experience. And nobody is about to tell him that being a gay comedian means his comedy has to be explicitly political.

“I found a groove in expressing myself this way, whereas other comics like Trevor Noah, for example, or Jon Stewart, are people who find the humor in politics,” Lane said in a 2024 interview with The Advocate. “I don’t know that I find the humor yet. I don’t know if that’s my lens in life. So, do I hate Trump? Of course. Is my show a political rally to prove to people that Trump’s an idiot? No. But are we all like-minded because we’re all coming from similar backgrounds? Probably.”

Even those who aren’t from similar backgrounds can find the hilarity in Lane’s material which has at times turned into full-on crowd work. In his The Advice Special (available via YouTube), Lane listens to audience members’ unique situations, and offers them words of wisdom—whether the audience member is a gay man trying to figure out how to deal with a relationship with someone who doesn’t speak English, or a straight woman who created a break-up text via ChatGPT.

Matteo Lane brings his “Can’t Stop Talking” tour to Kingsbury Hall (1395 E. Presidents Circle) on Saturday, Nov. 23 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $39.50 - $69.50; visit artstickets.utah.edu to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

N & N &

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Leo Espinosa: The Creature of Habit Tries His Best

Let’s face it: Learning to do something new is hard. And although it may seem to get even harder for us the older we get, it’s still an often-frustrating experience at any age. With wisdom and gentle humor, best-selling YA author Jennifer E. Smith (The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, This Is What Happy Looks Like) and illustrator Leo Espinosa approach the challenge of new experiences from a kids’-eye-view in the new picture book The Creature of Habit Tries His Best.

The story is set on an island called Habit, where a large creature is experiencing the joys and disappointments of trying to learn new things, and not always succeeding immediately or without problems. His latest effort involves learning to ride a bike, which might be easy to do once you already know how, as the saying goes, but isn’t quite so easy at the outset. This is a story about the big emotions involved in trying to do something hard, and the payoff of sticking with the effort, told with charm and an understanding of how to keep going when you sometimes just want to stomp your feet.

Illustrator Leo Espinosa—a native of Bogotá, Colombia now based in Salt Lake City— reads from the book and will sign copies of The Creature of Habit Tries His Best in an appearance at The King’s English Bookshop (1511 S. 1500 East) on Saturday, Nov. 23 at 11 a.m. The event is free and open to the public; visit kingsenglish.com for additional event information. (SR)

Oz-stentatious

Wicked: Part One makes frustrating choices that blunt the source material’s impact.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW

scottr@cityweekly.net

@scottrenshaw

Live theatrical spectacle and cinematic spectacle are two very different beasts—and sometimes it becomes clear why that should be the case. Such a moment occurs not far into Wicked: Part One, as our protagonists Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo) and Galinda (Ariana Grande)—later to become the legendary witches of The Wizard of Oz—sit in a university classroom taught by Dr. Dillamond, a talking goat. In the stage version of Wicked, as necessitated by the realities of people performing in front of an audience, Dr. Dillamond is a human actor in goat makeup; in the film, Dr. Dillamond is a CGI goat voiced by Peter Dinklage. That might not seem like a crucial distinction, until it becomes clear that one of the key thematic components of Wicked involves demagoguery and the demonization of minority groups, which hits quite a bit differently depending on whether the characters in question are humans being treated like animals, or literal animals.

It was perhaps inevitable that a fantasy like Wicked would be given the full blockbuster treatment, and director Jon M. Chu makes that clear in the opening seconds as he sends his camera swooping over the computer-generated landscape of Oz during the overture. But it’s maddening when the sorts of options available to a filmmaker feel like they’re changing the appeal of the source material in fundamental ways. It’s a test case for the idea that limitations can help make a creative form

can do anything, you don’t always do the right thing.

The bones of Wicked are certainly sturdy enough, built on the often-contentious relationship between the generally-ostracized, green-skinned Elphaba and perky blonde queen-bee Galinda, stuck together as odd-couple college roommates. Writer Winnie Holzman—adapting her own book from the stage musical with Dana Fox—offers up a pair of terrific characters, and the casting here nails it. Erivo plumbs Elphaba for the sense of otherness that engenders her compassion for other ostracized beings, as well as the growing sense of her own power to do something about it. And Grande nails everything that’s delightful about Galinda’s own evolution from narcissism to caring in a gloriously buoyant performance. Watching the two actors work, both alone and together, is nearly enough to make Wicked: Part One soar.

Yet repeatedly, throughout the film, you get reminders of why making it bigger has not necessarily made it better. That idea certainly begins with the decision to break it into two parts in the first place, some-

how thinking the pacing of a single twohour-and-forty-minute stage production wouldn’t be impacted by turning it into two two-hour-and-forty-minute movies, or that the truncated character arcs are made okay by a “To Be Continued” card. One piece of padding includes a perhapsinevitable but nevertheless eye-rolling nod to the original Broadway production, but many of the visual decisions also contribute to the frustration. Wicked: Part One becomes almost hopelessly busy, adorning every scene with neon-colored bumblebees or flitting hummingbirds or somesuch. The melancholy of Elphaba alone on a stage lamenting her prospects in “I’m Not That Girl” is not helped by having her wander through a forest of glowing flowers that looks like an outtake from Avatar It would have been hard to ruin Wicked entirely—especially the first act, since it features all the best bangers from Stephen Schwartz’s killer song score, including “Popular” and the trademark show-stopper “Defying Gravity.” Chu also happens to be one of the few working movie directors who seems capable of handling musi-

cal material, as evidenced most recently by his adaptation of In the Heights. But here, he simply can’t get out of the way of the expectation that turning Wicked into a blockbuster meant turning it into something … else. It’s hard to convey how the stagecraft required to elevate Elphaba for the Act I finale of “Defying Gravity” loses nearly everything remarkable about it when it’s simply Cynthia Erivo against a greenscreen with a billowing digitallycreated cape. It’s kind of fitting that the Wizard of Oz is played by Jeff Goldblum, as I kept thinking about paraphrasing one of his most famous lines from another fantasy spectacle: They were so concerned about whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. CW

Grande

Goldblum

MORAL PANIC

DIRTY LAUNDRY PILES UP AT UTAH’S ANTI-PORN AND ANTI-TRAFFICKING CHARITIES.

BY MICHAEL DEAN MCGRADY JR COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

Pornography consumption has become pathologized by a class of so-called experts fighting “porn addiction,” who rely on faulty evidence or who conflate the legal adult entertainment industry with being supposedly tied to human trafficking. And Utah is at the center of a so-called “industry” built around such beliefs.

Last year, City Weekly published a two-article series on the constitutionality of Utah’s age-verification bounty law, SB287, which was successfully championed in general session by Rep. Susan Pulsipher, R-South Jordan, and Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross. SB287 prompted opposition, which led adult industry firms to slug it out with The Beehive State in federal district court and the Tenth Circuit in Denver.

While the Utah case was ul-

timately killed on technical grounds, similar age-verification legislation adopted in Texas is now the subject of another adult entertainment industry lawsuit challenging its constitutionality and whether age-gating laws targeting adult content websites violate the First Amendment.

The case involving Texas was accepted for review by the conservative U.S. Supreme Court, with civil liberties advocates across the political spectrum urging the nine justices to uphold the First Amendment rights of legal online porn users.

There are many forces behind the uptick in anti-porn laws in the U.S., and some of the more influential are based here in Utah. And many of these forces—which present themselves as “anti-porn” or “anti-trafficking” groups—are linked directly or indirectly to

each other. Utah-based charities Fight the New Drug and the Malouf Foundation both at varying degrees have hands to play in the enterprise laid out above.

To begin, City Weekly inquiries yielded evidence of apparent connections to Tim Ballard, former CEO and founder of Operation Underground Railroad (OUR)— now called OUR Rescue—and the so-called “rescue operations” on which Angel Studios’ motion picture Sound of Freedom is based. Ballard is implicated in many civil and criminal cases, including allegations of being a sexual abuser with ties to the rich and powerful of conservative Utah.

Ballard founded OUR to counter sex trafficking by engaging in vigilante-style, extrajudicial incursions into foreign countries— primarily in Latin America—to “save people.” Now, he is being

sued in federal district court by some of his victims, who allege that Ballard and his associates, Matt Cooper and Michael Porenta, actually engaged in human trafficking themselves.

Natasha Helfer is an AASECTcertified sex therapist based in Salt Lake City. She is also the founder of the Mormon Mental Health Association, a secular association of mental health professionals who specialize in treating Mormon clients. She was excommunicated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 2021.

“With issues as severe as sex trafficking, these types of organizations—even if well-meaning—can perpetuate stereotypes, myths, and lies that end up hurting victims more than helping them,” Helfer said.

Fight the New Drug (FTND) and the Malouf Foundation have pre-

viously coordinated with or appeared at events and anti-porn functions alongside Ballard and OUR. And both participated in anti-trafficking efforts tied to the office of Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes.

It was through connections like these AG efforts that suggested much deeper ties to individuals such as Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight the New Drug, and Sam Malouf, a co-founder of the Malouf Foundation. Both organizations recently reorganized into a new combined charity group—with the Elizabeth Smart Foundation— called the Phase Alliance.

FTND presented itself as an evidence-based, non-denominational and secular anti-porn group. That’s a hard sell. Olsen, Ballard and AG Reyes jointly participated on panels and gave talks at the World Congress of Families IX gathering, which took place in October 2015 in Salt Lake City. Ballard and Olsen appeared at a panel seminar entitled “Pornography and Sex Trafficking.” Both Olsen and Ballard also appeared alongside Reyes in a panel for this event titled “Sexual Exploitation.” During that panel, Dawn Hawkins of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) served as moderator.

The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) classifies the organizer of World Congress of Families events—the Rockford, Illinois-based International Organization for the Family (IOF)—as a far-right hate group.

“Tim Ballard has spoken at some of the same third-party events as our co-founder Clay Olsen,” confirmed Schae Richards, communications and marketing manager for the Phase Alliance, in an email to City Weekly. “Attorney General Sean Reyes was a board member of Fight the New Drug before his time in office. He has not filled that role for over 10 years.”

The Ballard Connection

Olsen openly shared the stage with individuals such as Reyes (a former FTND board member), Tim Ballard (a friend of Reyes’ who reportedly brought the attorney general along on OUR “rescue operations”) and Dawn Hawkins (an anti-porn advocate with ties to other hate groups identified by SPLC). He did so at an event hosted by an alleged hate group caught advocating for anti-LGBTQ+ laws in countries such as the Russian Federation.

Richards denied that Fight the New Drug had formally worked with OUR, but did not specifically address the organization’s direct involvement with anti-trafficking advocacy organized by Reyes in his official capacity as Utah’s attorney general.

A cursory search of the Utah Attorney General’s Office website yields various press releases and blog posts touting Reyes’ successes in fighting human trafficking and supporting anti-pornography measures. The blog posts

feature accolades for several local organizations and law enforcement agencies active in campaigning against trafficking—namely all of the groups in the Phase Alliance (e.g., FTND and the Malouf Foundation) and OUR.

Through an open records request, City Weekly asked for documentation outlining how groups such as OUR, FTND, and the Malouf Foundation had collaborated with Reyes on anti-trafficking and anti-pornography efforts. The Utah Attorney General’s Office initially delayed cooperating with the request before subsequently denying it in early November, claiming that no such records exist.

These groups “are often founded by people who lack a background in robust ethics, which leads to the horrific types of exploitation we’ve seen in cases like Tim Ballard and OUR,” said Helfer.

Ballard’s connections to the Malouf Foundation are much deeper. Richards, of the Phase Alliance, confirmed that Sam and Kacie Malouf, through their namesake foundation, directly supported OUR. They supported after-care programs for people “rescued” by Ballard.

Richards said that OUR and the Maloufs haven’t collaborated officially since 2018.

“As our work evolved at the Malouf Foundation, we [have] shifted our focus to confront sexual exploitation through education, healing and advocacy—moving away from the rescue initiatives of OUR,” Richards explained.

News reports dating back years laud the Maloufs—and Sam Malouf specifically—for his work to counter human trafficking by collaborating with Ballard and OUR. A report by the Cache Valley Daily published in October 2017 features Sam Malouf explaining the extent of the relationship he had

with Ballard and OUR. Malouf said his companies, which manufacture home goods and bedding, were “shipping mattresses and different bedding products to some of their [OUR] after-care centers and safe houses they work [within] different parts of the world.”

He then went on to explain how they expanded the relationship at the time and actively participated in fundraising efforts for OUR by hosting events and, through the Malouf Foundation, provided bedding to the after-care settings operated by Ballard’s charity.

Additionally, the reporter for the Daily explained how Sam Malouf loaned out “facilities and expertise” to OUR, referring to a “well-staffed imagery team that consists of photographers, videographers and production people” and noting that Malouf creatives produced “documentary components, training videos, [and] documenting legislature and governmental interactions in Peru.”

The actual Malouf Companies, by Sam Malouf’s admission, supported OUR by providing shipping fulfillment for people who purchased products like t-shirts and stickers. Press releases and news reports by furniture and home goods outlets also tout these groups’ deep affiliation and integration. A report in February 2018 by Business of Home recollected the Malouf Foundation raising money alongside Tim Ballard and actress Kathy Ireland in Las Vegas.

Despite the Phase Alliance’s claims, a simple fact remains—the alliance’s sub-groups operate as one larger, interconnected organization to achieve its goals. Based on such an assessment, as a single organization, the non-profit Phase Alliance, in previous iterations of the charity, worked with Tim

Before his election as Utah Attorney General, Sean Reyes was a board member for the antipornography group Fight The New Drug.

“Pornography is now fantasized to be a weapon of psychological warfare.”

—historian Kristoff Kerl

WIKI COMMONS

Ballard. It aided, per Richards’ comments to City Weekly, the “rescue initiatives of OUR.”

Those “rescue initiatives” have been characterized as unethical, traumatizing for survivors and possibly illegal.

Profit and Sensationalism

Tara Burns, a sex workers’ rights advocate and author of a book called Sex Work Policy, described how groups like those in the Phase Alliance approach anti-trafficking advocacy.

Burns said FTND, the Malouf Foundation and others mentioned in this report are “Christian nationalist groups” who are “obsessed with taking away our livelihood and making felons out of us.”

Burns said these groups misrepresent trafficking statistics and pair those numbers with cherry-picked stories to implicate sex workers and trafficking survivors as traffickers.

“[We] see them doing just like the government and using sensationalist … stories of trafficking to raise money, and then using extremely broad definitions of ‘sex trafficking’ to include all sex work,” she said.

Nicole Gililland told City Weekly something similar. Gililland was formerly a porn performer and sex worker who made national news when she sued her community college in Oregon for discriminating against her by forcing her out of a competitive nursing program due to her work history. She won.

Gililland now works as a sex workers’ rights activist and criticized Ballard for what she sees as a pattern of targeting children from impoverished backgrounds for financial gain.

“I’m from Utah,” she said. “You would have to be naive enough to not follow the money or still support such a questionable man after antitrafficking experts have spoken on the matter.”

In a similar vein, FTND—via the Phase Alliance banner—regularly circulates pseudoscientific claims about pornography addiction. A further indication of ideological alignment and FTND’s reliance on quackery can be found in its platforming of the NoFap movement and individuals like the late Gary Wilson.

At the time of this report, men around the world are embarking to refrain from viewing porn or masturbating in recognition of “No Nut November.” No Nut November started as an internet meme but took on a new life. A man named Alexander Rhodes founded NoFap LLC— a private company based in Pittsburgh, Penn.— to serve as a “self-help” group for people who struggle with pornography addiction.

The term “NoFap” was popularized on Reddit through the r/NoFap subreddit. On this forum, redditors—predominantly men aged from early teens to well into adult years—support other members by touting a concept called “rebooting,” which was popularized by Gary Wilson. Before his death and long after it, Wilson’s

mark on the world was that he founded Your Brain on Porn (.com) and wrote a book of the same name. Wilson proposed that pornography is as addictive as illicit drugs and could go on to alter a human’s brain chemistry. He also said that men can develop erectile dysfunction from watching too much porn, which is false.

“Rebooting” is a practice to refrain from watching porn, masturbating and orgasming. A so-called self-treatment for “porn addiction,” Wilson’s theory is regarded as pseudoscience by mainstream medicine and psychology.

But FTND has posted several articles about Rhodes, Wilson and “rebooting,” despite claiming to be doing its work based on “evidence.” Both men are regarded as highly litigious, often threatening legal action against academic sex researchers and journalists who scrutinize their claims.

It is Rhodes, in particular, who has been much more visible in courtrooms and by threatening news publications that even hint at NoFap LLC, the company he founded, as a platform for extremist misogyny common among far-right ideologies, including some religious groups allied to Christian nationalism. Rhodes is even locked in a years-long legal battle against his mother, Althea Azeff, a lawyer by training and former journalist, per federal court documents.

“[NoFap] is already linked to misogyny in that the entire concept hinges on the idea that men are the ideal and need to retain an essential masculinity through retaining their semen,” Eleanor Janega told City Weekly in an email. Janega is a Londonbased medievalist who studies the intersections of gender and sexuality and previously criticized the concepts behind “rebooting.”

Janega added: “This is further complicated by the fact that the majority of people who complain of ‘porn addiction’ usually come from hyper-religious backgrounds. These individuals, because of the intense guilt they feel about their sexuality, are likely to announce that they suffer from ‘porn addiction’ even if they only very infrequently view pornography and masturbate.”

Extreme Misogyny

NoFap LLC maintains that it disavows extremist ideologies, including antisemitism. But growing bodies of academic research and journalistic investigations have linked sentiments found in the broader “rebooting” and “NoFap” movements to those perpetuated by far-right extremists like the Proud Boys.

No Nut November in 2018 saw the circulation of anti-Semitic conspiracies claiming that the world’s porn companies are controlled by a cabal of Jewish elites who want the death of the white race. NoFap disavowed the hatred, but that lingering specter remains.

Kristoff Kerl, a historian who has studied farright extremism and antisemitism, added context.

“With the rise of internet pornography the concept of porn addiction increasingly gained ground in anti-porn narratives,” Kerl said. “In antisemitic anti-porn discourses, pornography is now fantasized to be a weapon of psychological warfare used by Jews to keep white men docile and prevent them from fighting against the alleged social dominance of Jews.”

This logic espoused by antisemites in anti-porn discourse is observed as not consistent with NoFap

Advocate and author Tara Burns said that some anti-porn groups erroneously conflate sex work with sex trafficking.

Nicole Gililland successfully sued her community college for discrimination based on her work as an adult performer.

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

branding, despite its still problematic messaging about porn addiction.

“The official NoFap brand puts a considerable amount of effort into distancing itself from partisan initiatives and from association with the right, with Christianity, or with anti-feminist sentiments,” explained Scott Burnett, assistant professor of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies at Pennsylvania State University. “The mainstream version, in my view, presents problematic constructions of masculinity—of femininity too, but I think masculinity is the real issue.”

Considering the degree of hyperreligiosity and masculinity in Utah, linking movements like NoFap to FTND while arguing that watching porn is tantamount to sex trafficking is analogous.

Helfer added that “none of the organizations you are investigating have taken the time to adequately educate themselves, nor have they involved experts in the field of accredited sex therapy.”

Porn isn’t illegal, either. When regulated like it is in the United States, the adult entertainment industry, in general, hardly meets the standard of a shadowy cabal of criminal trafficking rings.

The adult content that users can view on platforms like Pornhub— provided those people have VPNs if logging on from devices in Utah—is legal to view, and is protected by the First Amendment. Unfortunately, the damage is done when people and organizations like the ones discussed

in this report actively conflate legal activity with illegal activity.

The adult entertainment industry has seen unethical behavior and criminal actors among its ranks (name an industry that hasn’t). But the reality is that the overwhelming majority of individuals and companies that make a living in the adult entertainment industry do so willingly, safely and legally. That isn’t human trafficking; that is running a business or having a job.

Pair the anti-trafficking rhetoric with anti-pornography advocacy, experts warn, and the result is a unified front of organizations that— directly and indirectly—are comfortable limiting consensual sexual expression and exploiting survivors.

Ricci Joy Levy, the chief executive officer and president of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, said that while the intentions of many anti-trafficking groups are commendable, it can be harmful to conflate legal pornography with illegal activities.

“It risks misdirecting resources and attention away from genuine trafficking cases and can undermine the rights and safety of consensual sex workers,” Levy said. “Additionally, the use of deliberately inflammatory rhetoric about pornography can exacerbate these issues by creating moral panic rather than fostering informed dialogue.” CW

Michael Dean McGrady, Jr. is an investigative legal journalist and essayist focusing on the adult entertainment industry. He writes from Missouri.

Some Like It Hot(pot)

From elk to Wagyu beef, Kuchu Shabu keeps things sizzling.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

When winter starts to declare its inversion-choked presence, I like to mentally and spiritually prepare for those days with a bowl of something hot. Food slut that I am, this bowl of something hot can be anything. As this particular winter has an acrid whiff of apocalyptic doom to it, however, I was looking for something that was both comforting and surprising.

To this end, I decided to check out Kuchu Shabu in Sugar House. Based on the restaurant’s description and menu, its mission is to fuse the flavors of Utah with traditional Asian cuisine. There has been a Kuchu Shabu in Park City for around five years now—it’s currently closed for renovations, with plans to open before December—and the Kuchu Shabu in Sugar House is the restaurant’s second location. It opened a little earlier this year right next to Silverside Deli, which has the potential to make for a great Sugar House power couple.

Kuchu Shabu’s main draw is perhaps its shabu-shabu—the popular Japanese hotpot method of cooking different proteins and veggies directly at your table. Each table at Kuchu Shabu is outfitted with its own electric stove top and diners can select different broths and proteins to cook up for themselves. This is an area that the restaurant takes seriously—everything from Japanese W5 Wagyu beef ($99-$135) to elk ($35-$47) is on the menu. There is even a plant-based option with wild

mushrooms ($28), which is nice to see on a hotpot menu.

Those in the market for something a little less DIY will want to turn their eyes to the menu’s entree section. Kuchu Shabu serves up both Japanese ramen and Vietnamese pho along with a few different rice bowls. Each month, the restaurant features a seasonal ramen, and November’s is a savory birria ($18) that will definitely be turning some heads.

When my order arrived, Zach Wojdula the chef and kitchen manager ran through all of the culinary creativity that goes into the birria ramen. For starters, this broth has swapped out the tomatobased acidity that is often incorporated into traditional birria with smoky, sweet gochujang. It’s an inspired choice for a few reasons—gochujang most definitely adds some acid and flavor to the protein, but it also helps bridge the gap between this traditional Mexican preparation and Asian-inspired flavors.

To get the birria broth’s luxurious, almost silky texture, Wojdula uses the leftover cuts of Wagyu beef and elk that don’t end up making their way onto the table. This flavorful reduction imparts some top-notch flavor and viscosity to the broth; this stuff eats like a meal all on its own.

The beef birria itself completely melts in your mouth with each bite and the noodles have an excellent texture. It’s served with some sliced carrots and a boiled egg sliced in half. Each bite is a wonderful combination between the meaty, brothforward flavors of pho, the slow-braised beef and the toothsome noodles. There are so many flavor combinations that I couldn’t get enough of and all of them reminded me why birria and ramen can work so well together. I know it’s the kind of thing that has even showed up at Del Taco, but it’s a concept with so many possibilities—and many of those possibilities are being explored at Kuchu Shabu.

If you’re going with pho, I’d suggest the elk pho ($22), because that lean elk meat does wonders when tossed with the Kuchu Shabu pho broth. Anyone who goes for the ribeye pho at local Vietnamese spots will definitely want to check this one out. On the plant-based side, the veggie pho with tofu ($14) is another great bet.

Regardless of whether you go for the hotpot or the noodles—or both—the appetizer menu has a few gems you’ll want to check out. I really liked the chicken karaage ($11) and the pork gyoza ($10); both of them pack a lot of great flavor in each bite. Chef Wojdula explained that they use rice and potato starch in their karaage because they’re both glutenfree and result in a light, crispy crunch. Served up with some signature bang bang sauce, which is great for dipping, this is a great way to kick off a meal at Kuchu Shabu. I’m always going to dig a gyoza, but I appreciate it when the filling balances its savory pork flavors with a bit of garlic, scallion and ginger—which is what’s happening here.

It’s no secret that Utah has welcomed some heavy hitters when it comes to ramen and pho, and it’s looking like Kuchu Shabu is coming into Sugar House pretty hot. I love that it features a monthly ramen which is a nod to the collegiality between Kuchu Shabu and Silverside Deli, which also features a sandwich of the month. Yes, I know the construction in this neck of the woods is dire, but so is your need for hot noodles and good company this winter. You won’t regret a visit to Kuchu Shabu. CW

73 West 7200 South, Midvale

2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: Piney Peaks “West Coast

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap:  Festbier

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: Steam Lager, Oktoberfest Märzenbier

NEW: BrewSki German Pilsner, Munich Dunkel Bier

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: HARVEST - Wet Hop Amber

Craft by Proper

1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Ay Curuba! Curuba Sour

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Chasing Ghosts IPA

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: Imperial Cider, RaspberryHibiscus Session Mead

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Campfire Smoked Lager

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Now with a full bar license & draft beer cocktails!

On Tap: Gluten Free Peach Bellini

Sour

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna-Style Lager

Follow us on Instagram: @ levelcrossingbrewing

Level Crossing Brewing Co.,

POST

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Bat Country Blonde Ale

FREE yoga every other Saturday. 10:15am

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Cranberry Rosemary Hard Cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewing 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com On Tap: Galaxy Haxy Pale - 5.0%

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Blizzard Wizard Hazy Pale Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Dog Tag IPA 4th Tour

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Roosters Ogtoberfest

SaltFire Brewing

2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Mt Naomi Cab Fran Pilsner Oenobeer

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com On Tap: Prickly Pear Kolsch

Scion Cider Bar

916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Art + ScienceHumble Perry 7.2% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider. com

On Tap: Spiced Peach

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Fresh Hop IPA (with homegrown local hops)

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com On Tap: Hellion Blonde Ale; Black Cloud Lager

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George SGBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co. – Lambert’s Holiday Nut Brown Ale

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery

1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: 20 beers with 12 rotating small batch releases: Black Tea English Porter, Hazelnut Brown Ale, and more! Small Batch Series Release: Back Abbey Double Belgian Ale (available 11/22)

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi

3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com On Tap: Lonesome Shadow (Schwarzbier); Fish Tank (Collaboration Munich Dunkle w/ Fisher Brewing)

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: The Gambler (Mango Kolsch); Caught in the Rain (Pineapple Sour)

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Strata Fresh Hop Pale Ale

BEER NERD

Shades of Black

Eight degrees of alcohol separate these two light-and-boozy stouts.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Epic - Milk Stout: Milk stouts get their names from the addition of lactose (milk sugars). This type of sugar is not fermentable, and lends a sweetness to the roasty stout base, providing a latte to milk chocolate flavor profile. These stouts are generally low in alcohol, but can be as big as a brewer’s enthusiasm.

It pours a soft foamy head of mocha cream color over a near-black body; retention is very good and lacing is light and streaked. The roasted malt aroma comes forward first, generating notes of earth and delicate fruit with lesser characters of a malt body, light caramel and milk chocolate with a touch of lactose sweetness for some cream and sugar. Potency is modest.

The roasted malt is more forward in the flavor, with lightly toasted caramel bread, cocoa and soft lactose for a modest coffee-like profile, finishing with an earthy bitterness of light hops. Subtle notes of fruit account for significant enough balance to maintain interest.

The depth of flavor may resemble more of a cup of black coffee over a brewed latte, but the balance comes forth better at warmer temperatures, cutting through some of the bitter edge. The texture is slightly chewy, silky, clean and mildly dry. Carbonation is mellow, generating a medium frothiness and a very soft crisp finish for a creamy mouthfeel overall. The body is medium for the style, while the balance is nearly even between earthy, bitter and sweet, although roastiness slightly wins out. The 5.0 percent alcohol presence is mild, and there are no notable off-characters.

Verdict: If you’re not a fan of milk

stouts, this one may appeal to you.

Compared to beers like Left Hands Milk Stout, you’ll find Epic’s take on the style to be much less sweet, which increases its overall drinkability.

Uinta - East Bench: This whiskey barrel-aged stout pours a thin-looking, deep brown that rests pitch black in the glass, with zero light penetration. A finger of foamy chocolate milk-colored head rests atop, eventually fizzling out to a collar. Nose is rich and fudgy— chocolate malt, vanilla, big barrel presence of rye and bourbon with that big, beautiful dark fruit aroma that you get from barrel-aged imperial stouts. The aroma wraps with notes of currant and boysenberry.

The palate greets you with an immediate dark chocolate/fudge flavor— moderately sweet, with a balanced touch of roast. The barrel treatment is immediately evident and delightfully forward, with all of the vanilla/bourbon/oaky/ char/spice notes that a bourbon barrel should relay. While the barrel characteristics are still dancing over the palate, all those juicy, deep, dark fruit notes that the nose hinted at—prune, currant, boysenberry and plum—come to the surface and become a fulfilled promise. Mouthfeel is slightly thick and viscous, enough to where one needn’t complain about lack of body. The 13.0 percent alcohol isn’t too hot or boozy.

Verdict: Quite pleasant. I’ve had many bourbon barrel stouts, and fairly often I’m left disappointed. “East Bench” has everything you could possibly want. It lacks the serious “wow” factor and complexity that some pastry stouts have, but it’s still nothing to scoff at. This is a seriously great BA Imperial stout and it deserves high regard.

As of right now, East Bench is a oneand-done, so if you’re into this type of beer, I’d pull the trigger on this one sooner rather than later. Epic’s Milk Stout is on permanent rotation and should be widely available in the state’s grocery and convenience stores.

As always, cheers!

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

PIKO Mexican Grill Opens

I recently heard about PIKO Mexican Grill (511 E. 500 South) celebrating a Dia de los Muertosthemed grand opening a few weeks ago, and I am officially all ears. For starters, PIKO is owned and operated by Kasandra Galindo whose family runs Victor’s—you know, the tire place where you can also get some of the best tamales in town. One of Galindo’s primary goals with PIKO is to capture the same traditional flavors from Victor’s while also serving alcohol. I don’t know about you, but the only thing that I think would make tamales from Victor’s any better would be a cold margarita, so yeah—I’m pretty much sold on this one.

Bambara Announces Drag Brunch Series

Hotel Monaco’s Bambara (bambara-slc.com) recently kicked off a recurring drag brunch series called Spill That Tea, Sis! From the sound of things, Spill That Tea sounds like everything you’d want from a tea party with local drag queens: live performances, togetherness and a whole lot of both tea and T. The inaugural event has already passed for this month, but it will be returning every second Sunday of each month going forward. That means you can get a monthly helping of tasty food prepped by Bambara’s kitchen along with your monthly helping of hot, hot local T. I’m sure someone will be sneaking in alcohol from the Vault at some point, so it’s sure to be a riot.

Tous le Jours Launches “Give Thanks” Collection

The French-Asian bakery Tous le Jours (tljus.com) announced its “Give Thanks” collection just in time for your Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. It’s a collection of seasonal pastries like pumpkin spice caramel cake, ube cloud cake, a lavender lemon cake and pecan tartlets—they’re gluten free! For anyone unfamiliar with Tous les Jours, it’s set up like an a la carte dessert cafeteria, so you can pop in and load up on whatever fall baked goods that sound like they’d fit into your holiday meal plans, and then snag them all to go. Or just sit at one of their tables and eat them all yourself. No judgements on the holidays, after all.

Quote of the Week: “White wine and weed.” – Alaska Thunderfuck on being asked about her favorite comfort food (per advocate.com)

SLC Rock

A roundup of local bands for banging heads and cranking up to 11.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Every genre has a wide range of sound to it, as individual bands create their own unique spin to make it their own. Rock music might just be one of the most encompassing out there. With hundreds— possibly thousands—of subgenres, there’s something for everyone. From Bob Dylan to AC/DC, Nirvana to Slipknot, and everything else in between—there’s no denying the genre’s significance.

SLC has a burgeoning rock scene, so if you love the genre, here are some bands you’ll want to check out.

Boyfriend Sushi Town:

Bands that are named after food are some of the coolest and most fun out there—that’s just science. Okay, it may not be an exact science, but bands like Boyfriend Sushi Town make a great case for the theory. Boyfriend Sushi Town hit the scene in 2021 with their debut album Rufus, and what an introduction it was! The album is complete with a great mix of acoustic and electric guitar as well as fiddle. If you’re a fan of folk music, but also like to dabble in heavier territory, Boyfriend Sushi Town is a great in-between for you. Their latest album, Player, features much of the same, but you can tell that the band has worked on refining their sound between the two works. “Ski Mask” is a definite standout in the band’s library, an intense song that slowly builds before dipping down and

then building up again. It sounds scratchy and fuzzy and epic—so it’s no wonder it’s their most-streamed track online.

Homestyle Dinner Rolls: Echoing the same sentiment as above, Homestyle Dinner Rolls bring a delightfully fun name to the table along with some righteous rock tunes. The Dinner Rolls made their debut in 2020 with their single “Standing By” and have since grown their library to include some great tracks. Their latest, “A Bit Too Heavy,” is the opposite of what its name suggests and is just the right amount of heavy. It’s fast and has a cheerful, upbeat sound that can appeal to listeners of all types. It also features a ripping guitar solo in the middle, so headbanging fits comfortably with this one. Their 2023 single “Take” is another that’s easy to listen to again and again, with its tasty bassline and even more excellent guitar playing. Anything that Homestyle Dinner Rolls puts out makes for effortless listening, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s easy to come back to over and over again, especially if you need something on the more cheerful and fun side.

Del Perro: Indie rock band Del Perro take their music into more of a new wave direction, so when you press play on their tracks, you’ll get slower, more atmospheric sounds that feel floaty and feature comforting retro electronic/synth elements. One standout is their single “NVM” from the beginning of this year. It’s an emotional roller coaster, detailing the back-and-forth of a situationship. “I can’t wait for you to think it through / I guess you’re not that desperate twenty something with a lot to prove / If you ever cared, it seems I’ll never know / And you have really let yourself go,” the song croons. Then the next line says, “Wait, never mind.”

Many of us can probably (unfortunately)

MUSIC

relate to these lyrics, and the way Del Perro lays them out in this song is exquisite. Another song to check out is their single that name-drops SLC entitled “Salt Lake City is for Lovers.” You really can’t go wrong with any Del Perro song, though.

Slick Daddies: Four-piece rock band Slick Daddies combine elements of rock with reggae, a magical island fusion that many people enjoy. Slick Daddies describe themselves as being heavily influenced by “Pepper, Slightly Stoopid, 311, Bad Religion, Rancid, and tax evasion.” Listening to this group will take you right back to late ’80s and early ’90s with their easy-sounding, tropical-themed tunes. At the moment, they only have one fully-produced song available, but an entire album of live recordings can be enjoyed, especially if you’re unable to catch the Daddies live anytime soon. The group plays with a smoothness that’s easy to get lost in, which is a great quality to have when playing reggae—it’s music that you want to drift away to. The live album dates back to 2022 at Boardwalk Sound in Orem, and

sounds as good as the produced single they have online. This is another rock band that will bring you nothing but smiles.

Stephen’s Dead at Last: I’m not sure who Stephen is, and why we’re glad he’s dead at last—but if it means getting more great rock music, fine by me. This alt/rock group brings a slurry of interesting elements to their music, not limited to your typical guitar but showcasing trippy, overlapping vocals and weird electronic elements. Weird, but in the best way, of course. Their latest album Thru the Vale never gives the answer as to why it’s good that Stephen is dead, but it does take you on a fun ride that’s worth revisiting. If you’re craving something that’s out there and off the beaten path, look no further.

As we reach the end of this non-exhaustive list of great rock bands in SLC, it seems only fitting to quote the late, great Ronnie James Dio from the 2006 cinematic masterpiece Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny: “Now go my son, and rock.” CW

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

MUSIC PICK S

Loom, The Magpipes @ Metro Music Hall 11/21

Going to a show featuring jam/improv bands is an underrated excitement. The bands feed off of the energy of the crowd that evening, so no two shows will ever be the same. You get to live having that awesome connection with the bands, knowing that it will be completely distinct from someone else’s. SLC rockers Loom have been taking the local scene by storm with their powerhouse musical abilities and reputation for giving audiences a great time. Having taken the stage with acclaimed groups like Tauk and Polyrhythmics, Loom has solidified their reputation as a band capable of holding their own alongside formidable talent. Loom’s journey also took a vibrant turn during their unofficial Kilby Block Party afterparty earlier this year at The State Room, where they rocked the house to an enthusiastic crowd that danced until the early hours. The energy was palpable, a testament to their growing prowess as performers who thrive on interaction and spontaneity. Joining in the fun is jam band The Magpipes. Don’t miss out on a fun night of spontaneity and good music. Catch Loom on Thursday, Nov. 21 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $20, and can be found at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

AND 2 EACH 3 BUTTON KEY FOBS

MUSIC PICK S

JD McPherson @ The Commonwealth Room, 11/21

The best retro-minded music is made when the artist has a genuine feel for the style; there’s no substitute for having a real and abiding understanding of the music. JD McPherson is one such genuine practitioner. He writes his own songs in the here-andnow, but those songs are imbued with the character and sonic qualities of classics of the past. The Tulsa native was raised on a diet of Buddy Holly, while his own early forays into music were in the punk idiom, and those twin influences would eventually yield McPherson’s own distinctive sound. His debut album, Signs & Signifiers, was released on a small label in 2010 and then picked up and reissued two years later by prestigious roots label Rounder Records. That release soared to the number one spot on Billboard ’s Heatseekers chart. His second album, 2015’s Let the Good Times Roll, repeated that feat and soared to the number 17 spot on the Rock Albums chart. With equal parts raw energy, songwriting smarts and nuance, Let the Good Times Roll could have been a career peak. But McPherson’s subsequent releases—including the brand-new Nite Owls —demonstrate that his good times continue to roll. Kate Clover opens the 21+ show when McPherson plays the Commonwealth Room on Thursday, Nov. 21 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $35 at axs.com. (Bill Kopp)

JD McPherson

Olivia

Linda Ronstadt

ZandZ @ Sky SLC 11/22

The ever-evolving local DJ and producer duo, ZandZ (formerly Z & Z), are playing their well-known “For the Love of Bass” show this weekend. ZandZ (Allen Salazar and Omar Jamhour) incorporate many different subgenres in their electronic music— from dubstep to house to future bass—making them a truly eclectic and versatile experience for listeners and fans. From humble beginnings, they have risen to the forefront of the local SLC scene, both headlining at its biggest nightclubs and playing at its largest music festivals (such as Das Energi and Get Freaky this year). They frequently open for EDM’s best-known international headliners, and have performed as direct support for Diplo and Afrojack. Their music incorporates a mixed spectrum of musical influences from across the globe—such as Latin and Arab infused sounds from their respective backgrounds—and an ability to incorporate a wide variety of genres and tempos into their performances, possessing unique international reach. For example, the song

“El Dunya,” translated from Arabic, means “the physical world,” or life in the here and now with all our material desires. Also, ZandZ’s remix of Enrique Iglesias’ hit “Hero” is one of their most streamed songs, which features singer Marin Hoxha. Their shows are high-energy, so expect lots of dancing and lots of bass. Come check them out on Friday, Nov. 22 at Sky SLC. Doors open at 9 p.m. There is free entry with RSVP before 10:30 p.m. Visit tixr.com. (Arica Roberts)

Anna Tivel @ Kilby Court 11/23

Singer/songwriter Anna Tivel attempts to define the various aspects of sentiment and understanding as borne from everyday experience. She’s made a career out of sharing life lessons that find their way into the human psyche, entangled as they are with the inexplicable emotions that intrude upon everyday existence. Indeed, Tivel’s always taken a philosophical stance throughout her career, allowing her craft and creativity to clearly come through in the most evocative way. The music is always memorable and mesmerizing in and

MUSIC PICK S

of itself, as well as both tender and touching courtesy of her adroit execution. So while this Portland, Ore.-based singer-songwriter has more or less remained below the radar as far as wider recognition is concerned, she’s been consistently hailed by critics as one to watch. Indeed, those familiar with Tivel’s efforts likely know what to expect from her in concert; her sensual delivery and atmospheric arrangements ought to easily translate from studio to stage. For those unaware, expect a series of melodic and mediative songscapes, leaving the audience blissfully engaged and in awe.

“Nobody tells it like it is / hey say don’t blow around on a different wind,” she sings on the title track of her latest LP, Living Thing. “You’ll be everything, you’ll be riotous / What a feeling to be alive.” Witnessing Tivel in full stride will likely allow those sentiments to shine.

Anna Tivel performs at Kilby Court with special guests Cactus Tree and Sam Weber on Saturday, Nov. 23 at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $15 at 24tix.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

iDKHOW @ The Complex 11/27

Salt Lake City-based singer/songwriter and I Don’t Know How But They Found Me’s frontman Dallon Weekes isn’t all doom and gloom. He writes tunes that are ironic, selfdeprecating, theatrical and frequently hilari-

ous, marking him as a fantastic performer who can constantly turn a downside into an upside. “There are few activities in the world that can disengage my ADHD brain, and being on stage is one of them,” Weekes told musicdaily.com in October. “The multiple trains of thought, and all the noise inside my head gets switched off for a couple of hours and I get to exist in the moment and just simply be where I am. I hope it’s that way for everyone.” Unlike many peers, Weekes doesn’t seem to shy away from his beginnings (The Brobecks, Panic! At The Disco), but embraces the opportunities it opened up for him. iDKHOW’s second LP Gloom Division, released back in February, showcases a more mature creative direction (co-produced by Weekes and Dave Fridmann), one that suits them. “Emo” is a worn-out label from the mid-2000s used by individuals who lack imagination to describe any music that doesn’t fall neatly into a specific category. iDKHOW continues to defy genres, expectations and they perform incredibly live. ALEXSUCKS opens. Catch these acts on the iMPENDiNG Gloom tour at the Complex on Wednesday, Nov. 27. Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $29.50 and can be found at thecomplexslc.com. (Mark Dago)

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Award-winning filmmaker Quentin Tarantino was born and raised in the U.S. But he has said, “I don’t make movies for America. I make movies for planet Earth.” I applaud his perspective and recommend you cultivate your own version of it in the coming weeks. You will generate good fortune for yourself as you enlarge your audience, your range of influences and your sphere of activity. It will be a time to transcend previous notions of who you are and what your life’s assignments are. The frontiers are calling to open your mind wider than ever as you leap to the next higher octave of your destiny.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“Earth knows no desolation. She smells regeneration in the moist breath of decay.” Author George Meredith said that and I’m conveying it to you. Why? Because you’re entering a phase when you will have maximum power to ensure that decay leads to regeneration. My advice: Instead of trying to repress your awareness of what’s decomposing, tune into it energetically. The sooner you embrace the challenging but interesting work to be done, the faster and more effective the redemption will be. Here’s your battle cry: Turn rot into splendor!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Mercury will be your slippery but sticky companion in the coming weeks, Gemini. Whether or not you believe he is a literal god who abides in the spiritual realm, I trust you will acknowledge that he is a vivid archetype. He symbolizes forces that facilitate communication and promote connection. Since he is constantly traveling and conversing, he also represents boundary-crossing and thresholds. I encourage you to summon his assistance whenever you want to lubricate links and foster combinations. He can help you unify disparate influences and strengthen your network of allies.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Utility poles and telephones poles may seem to be indestructible towers, but they have a limited life span. A prime factor in their gradual demise is woodpeckers. The birds drill holes that over time weaken the wood. Their handiwork allows moisture to seep in, causing rot, and creates access points for small animals to burrow in and cause further disintegration. I bring this to your attention because I want to encourage you to launch a woodpecker-like campaign against any seemingly impregnable structures that oppress and restrict you. It might take a while to undermine their power to interfere with your life, but now is an excellent time to begin.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

As an American, I’m jealous of how many festivals the Japanese people celebrate. By some estimates, there are more than 100,000 every year—an average of 274 per day! They may feature music, theater, dancing, entertainment, karaoke, sumo matches, games, delicious food, colorful costumes, spiritual observances and parades of floats and shrines. If you are a Japanese Leo, you’re in luck. The indicators suggest that in the coming months, you should take extra advantage of your culture’s revels, parties and social merriment. If you’re not in Japan, do your best to fulfill your cosmic mandate to frolic and carouse. Start as soon as possible!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

The Flintstones was an animated TV comedy show broadcast in the U.S. from 1960 to 1966. It was colossally silly and wildly popular. It portrayed cavemen and cavewomen living suburban lives in the Stone Age with dinosaurs as pets and cars made of wood and rocks. The chirpy theme song for the show was stolen from a piano sonata written by the classical composer Ludwig van Beethoven. In the coming weeks, Virgo, I invite you to steadily carry out the opposite of that conversion. Transform what’s daft or preposterous into what’s

elegant and meaningful. Change superficial approaches into righteous devotions. Move away from trifling diversions and toward passionate magnificence.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Even if you’re not a professional writer, I invite you to compose three lyrical messages. One will be a psalm of appreciation for a person who enchants your imagination and inspires you to be your best. Another will be a hymn of praise to yourself—a gorgeous, expansive boast or an outpouring of gratitude for the marvel and mystery of you. The third salutation will be an address to a higher power, whether that’s God, Goddess, Nature, your Guardian Angel, Higher Self or Life itself. If you can find it in your brave, wild heart to sing or chant these exaltations, you will place yourself in close alignment with cosmic rhythms. (PS: Now is a time to identify what you love and express your feelings for what you love.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The Greek term pharmakon has a complicated set of meanings: scapegoat, poison, remedy and recipe. According to my analysis, all of these could soon be operative in your life. One surprise is that a metaphoric “poison” you are exposed to may ultimately serve as a remedy. Another curiosity is that a scapegoat may reveal a recipe for redemptive transformation. A further possibility: You will discover a new recipe for a very fine remedy. I’m not certain how the whole story will unfold, but I’m betting the net effect will be a lot of healing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The Museum of Broken Relationships is in Zagreb, Croatia. It collects objects left behind after intimate relationships have collapsed. Among its treasures are love letters, wedding rings, jars of bitter tears, stuffed animals, feather-filled quilts and matching sweaters. Inspired by this sad spectacle, I invite you to create a very different shrine in your home: one that’s dedicated to wonderful memories from times of successful togetherness. Making this ritual gesture of hope and positivity will prepare you well for the potential relationship growth available for you in the coming months.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

It’s the Soul Retrieval phase of your long-term cycle, Capricorn. Have there been people, alive or dead, who wounded or pirated parts of your treasured essence? Have you experienced painful events that weakened your connection to your inner riches? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to undertake meditations in which you carry out repair and restoration. You will summon curative agents whenever you reclaim lost and missing fragments of your soul. Be aggressive in seeking helpers who can synergize your own efforts.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The Wistaria vine in Sierra Madre, California is the world’s biggest blooming plant. Spread over an acre, it weighs 250 tons and teems with over 1.5 million blossoms. I propose we regard it as your inspirational symbol for the coming months. Why? I expect you will be more abundantly creative and generative than maybe ever before. Your vitality will overflow. Your vigor will be delightfully lavish and profound. Homework: Start planning how you will wield and manage all that lushness.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Piscean playwright and songwriter Robert Lopez is the only person to have won all four of the following awards more than once: Oscars, Tonys, Emmys and Grammys. He’s also the youngest person to have won all four. I propose we make him your role model in the coming weeks and months. According to my astrological analysis, you are primed to ascend to new levels of accomplishment in your chosen field—and to be acknowledged for your success. Think big! Then think even bigger.

LEAD DEVELOPER BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE

JetBlue Airways Corporation: Lead Developer Business Intelligence – Salt Lake City, UT. Responsible for creating compelling & action-oriented data visualizations & dashboards. Req’s bachelor’s or foreign equiv in Computer Engineering, Technology, or in closely related field followed by 5 years progressively responsible exp creating data visualizations & dashboards using Tableau or Spotfire OR master’s or foreign equiv in Computer Engineering, Technology or in closely related field & 1 year of exp. Will accept any suitable combination of education, training and/ or experience. 100% remote; may be performed anywhere in the US where JetBlue has legal presence. Up to 15% travel. SALARY: $123,552-$175,523/ yr. TO APPLY: Email resume to talentacquisitionsupport@ jetblue.com. Reference JB128. EOE/M/F/D/V.

PHOTOGRAPHERS WANTED

urban LIVING

Rate Jump

Strange things are happening in the financial world and many folks are either not paying attention or confused as to what’s going on with mortgage interest rates and the economy. Here’s my take on this, based on what my clients have been asking of me for the last month or so.

First, the Federal Reserve has lowered interest rates during its last two meetings. The Central Bank of the United States (“The Fed”) manages the supply of money by helping to control inflation through interest rates that can make borrowing money cheaper. This can stimulate job growth and encourage investment.

The Fed doesn’t actually make and print money—that’s up to the Treasury Department. Generally, when the Fed lowers its interest rate to banks, the cut trickles down to borrowers in the form of lower credit card and mortgage interest rates. However, mortgage/home loan rates did not go down with the last two rate cuts … they went up! WTF?

Second, mortgage rates from a few months ago were in the low 6% range and are now at 7% or slightly higher. This keeps many buyers—especially first timers—out of the market, and a helluva lot of people are not making loan applications as they wait for a break in rates. When news came that Donald Trump won the election, the stock market went nuts and soared by 1,500 points, making many investors very happy while their portfolios grew overnight.

Big business loves Trump’s policies. Investor’s Business Daily reported that 13 specific stocks made investors more than $1 trillion after the election results came in. Bitcoin and cryptocurrency-related stocks also soared. It’s interesting that Trump and his sons launched a crypto business this fall and he intends to make the U.S. the “crypto capital of the planet.” His Trump Media also soared in value and his fortunes only benefited from the outcome of the election.

But as stocks went up, the bond market got slammed. This is a different marketplace where investors trade securities like bonds, bills and notes—not stocks. As interest rates go up, the value of these investments go down and mortgage rates go up. With lower bond yields, investors switch to higher-yield investments.

Mortgage lenders tie their interest rates to Treasury bonds. So if you’re watching financial news and thinking of starting/refinancing a mortgage, pay attention to what’s happening in the bond market. Yes, mortgage rates are higher now, but certainly not like when I became a realtor in 1984, when rates were 18% to 20% on a home mortgage! Your lender does have options to get you lower-rate mortgages called “buy downs,” where you pay money upfront to buy down the inter-

from 7.25% to

or even to

n

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. As of yet

6. Judge’s seat, in law

10. “Ray Donovan” actor Schreiber

14. Jumper cable terminal

15. As well

16. Give the creepy eye to

17. Remove all the dirt and grime from

19. Server operating system

20. Release

21. Three-part vacuum tube in old TVs

23. “___ Little Tenderness”

24. Becomes enraged

25. Double sextet

28. Borrower

29. 2001 high-tech debut

30. Apt answer for this clue

32. It had a hub at JFK

35. Keanu’s “Matrix” role

36. What you may need to do to understand the four sets of circled letters

37. Talking computer in “2001: A Space Odyssey”

38. Slippery tree

39. Inquisition target

40. Clock feature

41. Kicks out

43. Injection also used to treat migraines

44. Gangsters’ headwear, in old movies

46. Tiger sound

48. Cider fodder

49. England-Scandinavia separator

53. Golden State sch.

54. They’re unbiased and accepting, and not short-sighted

56. Wine bouquet

57. Expert pilots

58. Rice-___ (“The San Francisco Treat”)

59. Lawyer, for short

60. Put a stop to

61. “The Walking Dead” villain

DOWN

1. Rude response

2. “Falling Slowly” musical

3. Ticonderoga, e.g.

4. Took on grown-up errands, so to speak

5. Like a phoenix

6. Lightweight modeling wood

7. Out of the breeze, to a sailor

8. Hush-hush govt. group

9. In a satisfied way

10. Thelma’s cohort, in film

11. “Disregard what you just saw ...”

12. Avoid some syllables

13. Bewildered

18. Slyly shy

22. Change color again

24. Peasants of yore

25. Feast

26. European car manufacturer

27. Went by quickly

28. “One of ___ great mysteries ...”

30. Locale in a Clash title

31. “Everybody ___” (REM song)

33. Home of Baylor University

34. James Patterson detective Cross

36. Hobbits’ homeland

40. Available to rent

42. Tennis shot

43. Role for Keaton and Kilmer

44. Animals, collectively

45. Disney World acronym

46. “I Only ___ the Ones I Love” (Jeffrey

51.

52.

55.

Last week’s answers

X

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Ross book)

47. Airport code for O’Hare

49. “Great British Bake-Off” co-host Fielding

50. Make out in Manchester

___ Mode of “The Incredibles”

“O ___ Oscar”

“His Master’s Voice” company

NEWS of the WEIRD

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Early on Nov. 4, a British tourist made an alarming entrance at an internet cafe near his hotel in Pattaya, Thailand, Metro reported. First, staff at the Freelancer Hotel heard groans and banging coming from his room—which wasn’t necessarily unusual in the redlight district. But then the 51-year-old man fell from a balcony and through the ceiling of the adjacent cafe, with just his naked legs showing to about 20 patrons below. As onlookers called for help, they realized the nude man was covered in excrement; he was taken to a hospital to sober up and address his minor injuries. Police checking out his hotel room found feces smeared on the floor: “We have some ideas about what he was doing in the room to make it so dirty but there was nothing illegal,” officials said. “He will have to speak with the hotel to negotiate the bill.”

It’s Come to This

We all know Amazon has everything , which apparently includes ready-to-assemble homes, the Mirror reported on Nov. 5. Content creator Nathan Graham ordered a compact home, which showed up in the signature smiley-arrow box. He spent about $39,000, which included a bathroom, kitchen, windows and furniture. The metal home just needed to be unfolded and snapped into place to be livable. “This thing is so easy to build,” Graham said. Another customer was less impressed—at only 5-feet-8, he said he could touch the ceilings. “I’m actually going to Airbnb it,” he said. Just to short people?

Awwwww!

Perhaps it was wedding day jitters for father of the bride Neil Crossley, 60, People magazine reported on Nov. 5. As Crossley sped down the aisle in Yorkshire, England, and arrived at the altar, he realized something was missing: his daughter, the bride. “It was just pure miscommunication between my dad and the staff,” bride Amy Totty said. A staff member followed him down the aisle and guided him back to his daughter as the congregation and family had a good laugh. “It was a special moment none of us will forget,” Totty said.

Bright Idea

Even the Trevi Fountain needs repair and upkeep, but what about those coins tourists toss in to ensure a return trip to Rome? Someone had the idea to build a temporary pool to receive the coins, CNN reported on Nov. 5, but its position behind a fence covered in plastic is problematic—many hopeful tossers simply miss. The fountain nets about $1.6 million a year, which is donated to a Catholic charity called Caritas. Italians aren’t loving the temporary pool, either. One called it “The saddest thing I’ve seen in Italy in as long as I can remember.” Work is expected to be complete in September 2025.

The Passing Parade

A resort in the Philippines has unveiled its new 15-room hotel, which businessman Ricardo Cano Gwapo Tan said he wanted to have a “wow factor that can really leave a footprint of admiration to the public,” United Press International reported on Nov. 5. The building is shaped like a rooster—in fact, it’s the world’s largest building in the shape of a chicken, according to Guinness World Records, at 114 feet, 7 inches tall. Tan said the rooster’s shape is a tribute to the local culture. “It looks calm and commanding, imposing and strong, which reflects the attitude of our people,” he said.

Irony William Hoesch, 71, filed a lawsuit on Oct. 24 against Columbia River (Oregon) Fire & Rescue, the New York Post reported. Hoesch alleges that in October 2022, as he rode his bike through Rainier, an ambulance slammed into him, breaking his nose and destroying

his bike, then billed him nearly $2,000 for the ride to the hospital. The driver, who was moving at less than 10 mph, heard a thump and then rushed the biker to the hospital. Hoesch also incurred about $100,000 in medical expenses and suffers from permanent injuries such as “decreased range of motion” and “reduced grip.” He is seeking almost $1 million for pain and suffering, along with coverage of his medical bills.

Ewwwww!

In October in Sydney, Australia, beachgoers were confronted with mysterious black balls that had washed up on the beaches, CNN reported. Authorities closed the beaches and assumed the balls were unrefined oil from a spill. Now, scientists at the University of New South Wales have discovered what exactly the balls are—and it’s not pretty. The orbs are mini “fatbergs”—human feces, methamphetamine, human hair, fatty acids and food waste, among other gross ingredients. “They smell worse than anything you’ve ever smelt,” said lead investigator Jon Beves. The EPA guesses that the bergs came from “a source that releases mixed waste,” but “testing has not been able to confirm their exact origin.” Bleh.

Recent Alarming Headline

Phi-le Dinh Nguyen, 46, was arrested on Oct. 23 after a violent attack on his Katy, Texas, neighbor, KHOU-TV reported. Jackie Gray said her surveillance camera picked up Nguyen pouring gasoline on the outside of her house and setting it on fire. “I came out, I confront him about it, he admitted it and then after he thinks my home was going to burn down ... he tried to come back, you know, with a sword to attack me,” Gray said. Nguyen also allegedly threatened a Harris County deputy with the sword before he was tased. Other neighbors said they’ve had run-ins with Nguyen too. He was charged with arson and aggravated assault and held on $200,000 bond.

Latest Religious Message

Devotees at the Shri Banke Bihari Mandir temple in Uttar Pradesh rushed to collect water dripping from an elephant-shaped spout on the wall on Nov. 3, believing it to be Charan Amrit, or holy water from the feet of Lord Krishna. Alas, News18 reported, it was merely condensation from an air conditioning system in the temple. Some people caught the water in their hands or placed it on their heads. When confronted with this realization, devotees merely smiled and continued collecting the water.

News You Can Use

n If you’re in the Lowcountry, exercise extreme caution.

On Nov. 6, 43 female monkeys escaped from the Alpha Genesis Primate Research Center in Yemassee, South Carolina, The Post and Courier reported. The monkeys are bred and sold for medical testing and research; the facility houses about 6,700 animals. The company, along with police, are searching with thermal imaging cameras and setting traps. While police say the monkeys pose no threat or health risk to people, they advise residents to “keep doors and windows securely closed.”

“Just don’t try to take these things home or pet them,” said police Chief Gregory Alexander. “That’s a felony because they don’t belong to you.”

n Mourning the end of your vacation? Not to worry!

ItalyCommunica is bottling (or canning) the AIR from Lake Como in northern Italy, CNN reported, and selling it for $11. Each can allegedly contains 400 milliliters of “100% authentic air” that tourists can open at home and then repurpose the can as a souvenir pen holder. “It’s not a product, it’s a tangible memory that you carry in your heart,” said marketing specialist Davide Abagnale.

It’s “something original, fun and even provocative,” he added—and it fits in your carry-on!