City Weekly March 26, 2015

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

MARCH 26, 2015 | VOL. 31

N0. 46

Living in the In-Between

An English teacher born in Vietnam grapples with a lifelong identity crisis.

By Tam Hoang

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Living in the In-Between

An English teacher born in Vietnam grapples with a lifelong identity crisis.

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Brian Staker

Stroke of ‘Scenius’, p. 19 Brian Staker was born and raised in Salt Lake City and earned an MFA from the University of Utah in creative writing. He has written on visual arts and music for numerous local and national publications, including Artpapers and Blurt magazine. He is the host of the Awkward Hour podcast.

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Letters The PR Version of SB296

In regard to your commentary [“Dr. Strangelaw,” Opinion, March 19, City Weekly], Brandon Burt stated: “The bill, which passed March 12 amid much fanfare by LGBT activists and LDS Church authorities alike, codifies the rights of people to be secure in their jobs and their homes without fear of reprisal from anti-gay bosses and landlords.”

And this: “For the vast majority of Utahns, these job and housing protections are real.”

Let’s see how well that public-relations version holds up.

Senate Bill 296 has a couple of seemingly notable exemptions, which are conspicuously absent from your commentary. Employers with 15 or fewer employees are exempt from job discrimination, and landlords with four or fewer rental units are exempt from housing discrimination.

So if I understand it correctly, these are in addition to the exemptions for the jobs and housing owned by or contracted to religious organizations. Taken together, those exemptions are no small thing, and one could reasonably surmise they likely encompass a rather large portion—if not a majority—of the rental units in Utah and more than a few jobs, especially in smaller cities and towns. No offense intended, but it seems one could reasonably offer that if that is taken into account, those codified and real protections in jobs and housing appear a bit less vast and real than you and others would have readers believe.

Also, it seems foreseeable that legitimizing and legaliz-

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106.

We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes. ing discrimination with SB296 will surely open a Pandora’s box of “closely held beliefs” posing as rights. Think in terms of the cop and the Utah Pride parade—see Sen. Stephen Urquhart’s comment, as reported by Eric S. Peterson [“Utah Legislative Wrap-Up 2015: Up in the Air”]. The assertion that religious protections are strictly limited to church organizations also fails to hold up under scrutiny.

Seems one could reasonably say that two truths of SB296 are it expands/legitimizes/legalizes discrimination beyond church boundaries—even setting acceptable limits of discrimination, and the vast and real protections you mentioned aren’t all that vast and real after all.

If the above is accurate, does omitting it from the conversation in favor of the public relations version of SB296 really feel like the thing to do?

Of course, all of this is probably moot considering the likelihood that legalizing discrimination in the public square won’t pass constitutional muster.

But, hey, other than that, I agree with you.

Brandon Burt categorizes those who disagree with him on this issue as Neanderthals, he attempts to remove any real dialogue [“Dr. Strangelaw,” March 19, City Weekly].

The LGBT community continually uses this tactic by referring to dissenters with negative terms such as homophobes or bigots. The pressure put on our society to agree or be banned only creates continuing hostility or cowardly submission.

I am not LDS, but the LDS Church’s effort to stop discrimination towards LGBT while maintaining their rights to their own convictions is admirable. Those of us who do not endorse the LGBT lifestyle may have valid reasons for our objections, but you will need to stop the name-calling if you have any intention of hearing any real dialogue.

Mark Anderson Salt Lake City

Correction: In the March 19 issue, we incorrectly titled Beardyman’s 2014 album [Concerts & Clubs, City Weekly].

The correct title is Distractions.

Ross McCollin South Salt Lake

We’re Not All Neanderthals

In textbook analysis of argumentation, the “straw man” argument is considered faulty because an opponent is painted with a broad negative generalization that excuses the audience from hearing the straw man’s argument. When

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Vord of Visdom

Whenever the LDS faithful gather for conference, as they will April 4 and 5, I think of my father. He liked to watch the proceedings on television. I am sure he was the only one in the audience smoking Camels as the brethren held forth from the Tabernacle pulpit. He was raised a “Sanpete Mormon” in Ephraim, 120 miles south of Salt Lake City, the last stop on Highway 89 before the Manti Temple. Like most Mormons in Sanpete County in the 19th century, his great grandparents emigrated from Denmark.

What distinguished them from Brigham Young’s other Deseret enclaves was their brand of “low peasant” humor. That and the fact that Sanpete Mormons were likely to ignore the Word of Wisdom’s prohibition of coffee, tobacco and alcohol—and joke about it! They loved humorous stories—typically recounted in a Danish-tinged dialect—and they had a penchant for funny nicknames.

In Ephraim’s Humor, Lucille Butler writes that of the 1,000 people who lived in Ephraim in 1900, 350 of them—primarily men—had nicknames. The received wisdom is that nicknames were needed to identify individuals in a place shot through with identical, patronymic names like Peterson, Jensen, Anderson and Rasmussen. What the received wisdom fails to address is the fact that nicknames were not evident in Denmark, nor were they characteristic of any other Utah town settled by Scandinavians. This story illustrates how a paucity of surnames might have spawned the need for nicknames: An LDS Church official traveled from Salt Lake City to attend a conference in Ephraim.

He was unacquainted with the lack of variety in surnames, and during the meeting, he called upon Brother Peterson to rise. All the men present, with the exception of two small boys toward the back of the hall, stood up.

“No, no!” protested the churchman. “I meant Brother Peter Peterson.” Whereupon three of the men sat down.

According to the History of Sanpete County published by Utah State Historical Society, nicknames drew on professions

BY JOHN RASMUSON

(“Painter Hansen”), prominent physical attributes (“Grin Billy”), or a colorful— preferably embarrassing—incident (“Bear Hans” Hendrickson). The provenance of others like “Brazilian Blacksmith” Jensen, “Scottie Water-eye” Christensen, and “Absolutely” Mortensen were more obscure.

Not many women had nicknames, but “Hilda Bear Hans” was “Bear Hans” Hendrickson’s daughter, and “Peggy Anderson” had a prosthetic leg. A nickname often replaced a person’s given name to a point that the original was unneeded as this story suggests: A handful of Ephraim elders occupied a “wise bench” on Main Street each morning.

One day, a stranger stopped to inquire after a Jacob Jensen. No one sitting on the bench could help, but the stranger persisted.

“I have his address.

He lives in the South Ward, four blocks east of Main Street.

Are you sure you don’t know Jacob Jensen?”

Jake Butcher, one of the old-timers idling on the bench, suddenly straightened up, scratched his head, and said, “Hell, that’s me!”

Many of the humorous anecdotes in circulation in Ephraim had mildly rebellious overtones. That meant the prevailing authority, namely the LDS Church, was the target of good-natured ribbing. This story, narrated by a Mormon bishop—the most powerful figure in the community in the 19th century— shows that that those in authority did not take themselves too seriously: “One time after I had been in the hotel telling stories to the Lion’s Club, I met Sister Swenson. She said, ‘Bishop Peterson, have you been in there?’

I said, ‘Yes, Sister Swenson.’

‘Hmmmm, did you know who was in there when you went there?’

I said, ‘Yes, Sister Swenson.’

‘Will you please answer me one question?’

‘I will try,’ I said.

She said, ‘Are you a Lion, bishop?’

I said, ‘There ain’t any other kind.’

References to the problematic “Vord of Visdom” are part of the humorous folk canon. This story is typical: “Brodders and sisters,” began a Danish man, getting to his feet in church one Sunday.

“I do not drink coffee. That iss for the yentiles. I do not drink tea,” he continued, with a proper note of compassion for those unfortunates who might be steeped in the same, “That iss for the yentiles!” He gazed about.

Everyone seemed properly impressed. “I do not use tobacco!” He waited for rhetorical effect after mention of this sinful item. “That iss for the yentiles! I do not drink …” he paused long and dramatically before referring to the Devil’s brew, “… liquor!” Then he said, “That iss for the yentiles.”

As the man took his seat amid murmurs of approval, another Danish brother popped to his feet.

“Brodders and sisters,” he said querulously. “Vy iss it that all the good tings shall be for the yentiles?”

My father didn’t leave the “good tings” for the “yentiles.” His name was Roger Rasmuson, but his nickname was Pete. He was so well known as Pete that we put it in the headline of his obituary.

Although he liked to watch conference on television, he never went to church. However, he was a good violinist and performed at LDS funerals. On one such occasion, he was seated in the front of the chapel, near the piano, facing the congregation. In acknowledging those sitting behind the podium, the presiding official introduced him as “Bishop Rasmuson.” The service dragged on interminably, and by the end, he craved a cigarette.

As the audience rose after the benediction, he ducked out a side door, made for the parking lot and lit a Camel. The mourners were no doubt startled as they emerged from the church to encounter Bishop Rasmuson having a smoke. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

That meant the prevailing authority, namely the LDS Church, was the target of goodnatured ribbing.

STAFF BOX

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

What’s the weirdest small town you’ve ever been to?

Pete Saltas: Waco, Texas. I’ve seen Baylor plenty of times on TV. But, seeing it in real life surrounded by … Waco was kind of a letdown. Like, really let down.

Like, keep-on-driving let down.

Eric S. Peterson: As far as charming/weird goes, I have fond memories of watching a July 4th parade in Eagle, Ala. The ceremonies started with an 80-yearold woman dressed in a clown costume singing “God Bless America.” The parade itself included children marching in Halloween costumes, and instead of candy, they threw cubes of chicken bullion. Never seen a better parade to this day.

Scott Renshaw: I don’t know if “weird” is exactly the proper word, but I once drove through Roslyn, Wash., back when they were still filming the TV show Northern Exposure there (though not on this particular day). This little main street had “Hot Set” signs in places where you weren’t supposed to touch any of the props. It felt like being in a ghost town where all this hustle & bustle was just around the corner.

Stephen Dark: It’s a small town in Argentina where residents seemed uniformly to have blue eyes and blond hair and traces of German accents in their Spanish. I believe they were descendants of survivors of a German warship sunk on the River Plate. The sense of time standing still was eerie.

Tiffany Frandsen: Scipio, Utah. Right next to a gas station is this darling petting zoo that is full of three-legged and oneeyed animals. It’s sweet—those animals need love too.

6 | MARCH 26, 2015

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The March 22 Salt Lake Tribune editorial intoned, “UTA going forward, agency must still win voters’ trust.” Sure, the voters can decide if they want another tax hike, but how does that help solve UTA’s systemic problems? The transit agency just voted to cut executive bonuses by 80 percent and some executive salaries by 20 percent. That “some” means newly hired executives coming in at 20 percent below the now opulently paid execs. According to an August 2014 legislative audit, UTA General Manager Mike Allegra got more than $400,000 in 2013 with a $30,000 bonus. Say that bonus is now down to $7,500. Does that make you cry? Although UTA didn’t get its tax hike this year, it got the support of the city and county, which could have benefited from some of the money. But at least UTA has given us something to think about. Get rid of all the old execs and at least you’d come in 20 percent below budget.

The Sales-Tax Carrot Speaking of taxes, the burning question in Salt Lake City isn’t whether residents will get another “fee” tacked on to their bills, but whether there was a back-room deal with Mayor Ralph Becker and the Legislature. House Bill 454 is now in the governor’s hands. It’s a prison development bill that adds a sales-tax option to cities that decide to host a prison. Way down in the 2,104-line bill is the financial enticement. Becker’s spokesman, Jill Love, insists there was no such deal, although Becker’s opponent in the coming election, Jackie Biskupski, finds the whole thing just a little too convenient.

Well, yes, it’s a mayoral election year, but the question is legitimate. Taxes are never popular, and this law would give good cover.

Political E-mail In the wake of the Hillary Clinton’s—what do they call it? “Emailghazi”—we are now finding out more than we’d ever want to know about politicians’ e-mail habits. For instance, a New York Times story lets us know that Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, not only has an iPhone6, but he barely uses it. His e-mail habits, he said, “are not very much,” and usually just, “Thanks” or “Great.” Many are saying they prefer face-to-face contact—like that ever happens anywhere anymore. Phoning a politician is even less than satisfying, unless you enjoy the runaround from staff. But the best revelation came on Jimmy Kimmel Live! when President Barack Obama said he’s not allowed to use anything but a Blackberry—because it can’t easily be hacked.

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Bonus Blues

Any day now, look for local Facebook profile pictures to become faces splashed with colorful dust. Held the final weekend of March, the Holi Festival of Colors has grown to attract thousands, so that organizers now have to charge for parking. Colors are thrown every hour at the Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple (8628 S. State Road, Spanish Fork, FestivalOfColorsUSA.com), where the event is not only considered to be among the largest, it also sparked the trend of color runs and color festivals across the nation. Temple President Caru Das Adikari discussed the colorful history of the Holi Festival with City Weekly.

What’s so special about Spanish Fork Holi Festival of Colors?

Three things: We got people together en masse, we introduced the countdown and throw, and we’ve brought contemporary music to the ancient mantras. In ancient times in India, people used to grind up flower petals and throw them on each other. We can’t afford to do that, so we use a substance called gulal. It’s corn starch, usually lightly scented with musk, sandalwood or jasmine. In India, they do it wet, but we don’t want anyone to catch cold. Plus, when you add water, it makes it all brown and you lose the colorful effect, so we keep everything dry.

How did the event become such a viral phenomenon?

We have someone on stage, who, in unison with the crowd, will count down from 10, and they’ll throw their colors straight up in the air. It has the effect of a fireworks show in broad daylight. It’s a photographer and videographer’s dream come true. When these images of 7,000 or 8,000 people throwing color into the air started to appear on Flickr and Pinterest and videos on YouTube, people started to put it up all over the world, so now there are color events everywhere. There was an article in The Wall Street Journal about a year ago that talked about the worldwide phenomenon of color runs and color events and said it all started in Spanish Fork, Utah.

Do you worry the spiritual significance of the event is getting lost?

It’s really not about the meaning, because as soon as you approach a mantra with the idea of meaning, then you have intellectualized it. It’s a spiritual experience, and the best way to get the benefit from it is to just listen to it and just give yourself over to the mood and the melody and let the Lord within the heart work his own magic inside of you. We would like people to know why we do it—of course that’s beneficial—but ultimately, to intellectualize it is to not get as full of the benefit from it as you could.

Why the colors?

We still think of ourselves as the cutting edge because, for us, it’s as much about the transformative effects of the event. Colors will help you have a good time, and they have the effect of bringing people together—lots of hugs, lots of love—when you look as silly as you do, being covered in colors. It breaks down the barriers that keep us remote from each other.

It’s really the music, the yoga, the Mediterranean cuisine, the messages we get from stage, which may take it from the level of being a potentially transformative event.

By Tiffany Frandsen comments@cityweekly.net

STRAIGHT DOPE Deep Thoughts I was watching G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and these government types taking a prisoner to an underground facility in a former East German mine shaft made some comment about how they’d gone so deep they were no longer technically in Germany and were now in international territory. Lunacy aside, are there international agreements on how deep someone’s sovereign boundaries run? If someone runs a rail line 10 miles underground from London to Moscow, would the developers or governments have to get approval from all the countries they would go under?

—Steve Selman

SLUG SIGNORINO

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can allow for mining parts of a vein that extend underground beyond a claim’s surface boundaries.

International law hasn’t spelled much of this out in any blanket fashion, and really it hasn’t had to, as thus far few conflicts seem to have arisen from any ambiguity. In part, this may be because only a relatively small portion of earth’s crude-oil reservoirs lie beneath international borders. One place where they do, though, is the Iraq-Kuwait border; a major point in the dispute that led to the 1991 Gulf War was Iraq’s claim that Kuwait had used slant drilling to pump billions of dollars’ worth of oil out of the Iraqi side of the field.

Sometimes the issue is figuring out where the borders are. A nation’s territorial waters extend 12 nautical miles off its coast, but its exclusive economic zone, where it has rights to natural resources, go out 200 miles.

Currently Russia, Canada, and Denmark (via Greenland) are each asserting that the Lomonosov Ridge in the Arctic Ocean is an extension of their respective continental shelves, thus expanding their EEZ to include potentially oil-laden stretches of Arctic floor that previously seemed pretty useless.

Recent developments in the energy industry may require refinement of underground law—a big one being fracking, where injected hydraulic fluid is used to break up subsurface rock and release oil and natural gas. When this fluid finds its way under neighboring property, the rule of capture butts up against the concept of subsurface trespass, which covers things like slant drilling; court rulings thus far haven’t done much to sort it out.

Geologic sequestration—stowing captured CO2 emissions in underground cavities—raises some similar questions. To get the EPA’s go-ahead, a would-be sequesterer has to show that the gas won’t seep into the water supply, but issues of (e.g.) leakage into adjacent property currently have to be wrangled out under local law.

Anyway, in the absence of clearer guidance, it’s safest to say yes, anyone who wants to run a 10-mile-deep railway tunnel from London to Moscow should at least get in touch with the Germans, Poles, et al. before making with the shovels. Oh, and also: At 10 miles, down the temperature will be about 750 degrees, so make sure that bar car has plenty of ice.

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To review: What we have here is an admitted watcher of G.I. Joe movies suggesting that—“lunacy aside,” mind you—one might plausibly dig a tunnel running the breadth of northern Europe without getting the surface dwellers on board. I’m not sure I have anything to add before we move on.

OK, backing up a bit: The accepted legal wisdom in the U.S. long held that property rights associated with a plot of land extended usque ad coelum et ad inferos: up to the heavens and down to hell, here meaning to the center of the earth. But, as I mentioned when explaining why you can’t just shoot down planes flying over your house, the ad coelum part didn’t survive the advent of aviation— the Supreme Court threw it out in 1946. And in a 2008 article, property-law professor John Sprankling argues that despite its continuing prevalence in American legal texts, the center-of-the-earth theory (we’ll call it COTE) isn’t actually the law either. His key conclusions: 1. There’s no common-law basis for COTE—the English jurist William Blackstone pulled it out of his ass circa 1765.

2. More importantly, courts haven’t actually ruled in a COTE-consistent manner: They’ll generally uphold a landowner’s subterranean rights near the surface, but “the deeper the dispute, the less likely courts are to recognize the surface owner’s title.”

3. At depths below the immediate subsurface but less than two miles down, court decisions and statutes have created so many exceptions to COTE that it can’t really be considered a rule.

4. Whether the surface owner’s rights go any deeper than two miles underground is something U.S. law has never established.

Subterranean property rights also vary depending on what you’re trying to get at down there. Oil, flowing where it will, is governed in the U.S. under the “rule of capture,” as admirers of Daniel Day-Lewis may remember: Anything you can produce from a vertically drilled well on your property is yours, even if it comes from underneath your neighbor’s land. Mineral deposits are generally assumed to belong to the surface owner (unless the mineral rights have been sold separately), but here, too, there’s a principle called extralateral rights, which

BY CECIL ADAMS

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10 | MARCH 26, 2015

The Gumball Gamble

“Oh my gosh! Call the culture police. … It’s comical.”

—Stan Graham COURTESY PHOTO

NEWS

Business

Eric S. Peterson

An ambiguous state law may allow gas-station vending machines to pay out like games of chance.

Anyone who’s waltzed through a casino has likely seen the game where a player drops a quarter in, and, with a little luck, it gets pushed onto a metal shelf full of quarters, perhaps spilling a handful of lucre off the shelf, out of the machine and into the player’s waiting hands.

If you haven’t seen coin-pusher machines in Nevada or Atlantic City, N.J., you might soon be seeing more of these machines in Utah gas stations. A new company began marketing these diversions here despite the Beehive State’s strict anti-gambling laws. The Utah machines differ from actual gambling machines in that they offer a guarantee: You might not win with every quarter, but you will always get a bubble-gum ball for every two bits deposited.

For some, this innovation could be construed as sidestepping the law—in a way that not only allows gambling, but essentially opens it up to anyone, regardless of age. Little Suzie could legally blow all her lunch money on such a machine—but, even if she didn’t win any cash, she would at least walk away with a fistful of candy.

These coin-pushers are in use in at least two Utah gas stations. Both—a Chevron at 1508 E. Highway 89 in Layton and one right in the heart of Happy Valley at BJ’s Short Stop, 130 W. Center St. in Pleasant Grove—are under the same ownership. Both prominently feature the vending machines near their entrances. Recently, in the Layton location, a woman intently pumped quarters into a machine, while a young man next to her watched and scooped up the gumballs that were dispensed.

“She won $100 yesterday,” the man said.

In both locations, besides the gumball/quarter dispenser, there are also machines that allow individuals to put money in a video sweepstakes offering gift certificates as prizes.

Rick Patel, manager of BJ’s Short Stop in Pleasant Grove, explains that coinpushers operate under the law based on what representatives of

COURTESY PHOTO

By Eric S. Peterson epeterson@cityweekly.net @ericspeterson

Coin-pusher machines, located in Pleasant Grove and Layton, pay off every time: Always in gum, and sometimes in cash.

Intermountain Vending—the company that provides the machines—told him.

Patel says gift-certificate vending machines are no different from sweepstakes games offered by fastfood chains that let customers enter to win prizes by purchasing meals. People who put money into the machines have that money credited toward gift certificates, even if they don’t win the sweepstakes.

“It’s like the McDonald’s game when you buy a burger—same thing when you put a dollar in the machine. You get one pin number, and you can go to the website and use it to buy anything you want,” Patel says.

As for the other game, a coin-pusher emblazoned with a smiling cartoon gumball and the words “Chewin’ Gum, Havin’ Fun,” Patel says it’s not a gambling device, because it also vends gumballs.

Patel says a salesman from Intermountain Vending made it clear that coin-pushers had been cleared by law enforcement. He says he even had police visit his establishment and inspect the machine—after which the police left and have not brought the issue up again. Patel also says a company salesman told him there are hundreds of these machines in locations across the state. Without these assurances, he says, he never would have agreed to have the machines in his business.

“If it’s not legal, we don’t want to keep it,” Patel says.

The legal question is not exactly clear, especially since many govern-

ment authorities only recently learned of the these coin-pusher machines from City Weekly. Missy Larsen, spokeswoman for the Utah Attorney General’s Office, says the agency has received no complaints of the machines, and neither did the Davis County Attorney’s Office.

Davis Count y Attorney Troy Rawlings says that his first reaction is that the gumball machine appears to be in conflict with state law, though he also suspects such a case might be difficult to prosecute.

Steve Garside, deputy attorney for Layton City, agrees, noting that without further investigation, it would be hard to know whether the gumball machine was breaking the law or merely skirting it.

Garside says these situations aren’t always clear-cut. For example, certain organizations in other cities offer people the chance to win money at bingo in exchange for buying spaghetti dinners, he says.

Determining the legality of the gumball machine would come down to whether the coin-pusher was primarily about getting a sugary treat or wagering on the opportunity to win back more than you put in the slot—which meets the definition of gambling. It could mean the owner of such an establishment could face a class B misdemeanor for allowing gambling devices at a place of business.

“You have to evaluate what is the underlying purpose, what is the activity, and then go from there,” Garside

says. “It’s not always a black-and-white thing.”

Stan Graham, legal adviser to Intermountain Vending, scoffs at the reaction some have had to the gumball machines.

“Oh my gosh! Call the culture police,” Graham says in mock indignation. “It’s comical,” he says.

The state’s gambling statute contains a key exclusion, Graham says, referring to language in the state code that states “a lawful business transaction” is not gambling.

Graham points out that, if not for that crucial line in the state code, many activities would be considered gambling—from depositing money in a savings account to taking out a loan or buying stocks. Such “business transactions” are protected by law, since many business deals cannot guarantee the outcome of an investment.

“There are all kinds of things you don’t consider that are legal games of chance. It’s all chance,” Graham says.

“And the return you’re going to get in exchange for your premium is up in the air.”

Those transactions, he stresses, are just as lawful as buying a gumball.

“A person puts a quarter in, and gum comes out,” Graham says. “If he doesn’t buy the gum, he can’t make a choice to play—he must first enter into the lawful business transaction of buying gum—which happens millions of times a day in this country. That’s a lawful business transaction.” CW

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Do you know the Jesus story?

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Tuesday at 11 a.m. - Chrism Mass and Renewal of Ordination Vows of the Clergy Wednesday at 8 p.m. - Tennebrae, a service of music and words Thursday at 7 p.m. - Maundy Thursday Liturgy with foot washing and stripping of the Altar Friday at Noon - Good Friday Liturgy with the Veneration of the Cross Friday at 5:30 p.m - Stations of the Cross Saturday at 8:00 p.m.- The Great Easter Vigil

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Holy Week Services

Sunday at 10:30 a.m.- Festive Easter Service with brass and tympani

Cathedral Church of St. Mark

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Call 801-322-3400 for details

An Episcopal Church

801-322-3400 | stmarkscathedralut.org Tours available daily - The Very Rev. Raymond Joe Wald0n, Dean

MARCH 26, 2015 | 11

231 East 100 South, Downtown Salt Lake City

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12 | MARCH 26, 2015

CITIZEN REVOLT

by COLBY FRAZIER

the

OCHO

@colbyfrazierlp

the list of EIGHT

by bill frost

Climate Hoopla

@bill_frost

Before you spend Friday watching the Utah Utes men’s basketball team beat the snot out of Duke, go check out a presentation at the U about catastrophic, human-herdthinning climate events. Or, if you dare venture into the congested heart of Sugar House, you could rub shoulders with the neighborhood’s movers & shakers and tell them how you feel about what’s been done to the place. The very next morning, hours before the Utes spring into action, check out the forum at the U titled “How Congress Really Works.”

“Black Swan” Events Thursday, March 26 This presentation might not be superhappy, but Lonnie Thompson, a researcher at Ohio State University, is going to talk about rare, catastrophic episodes in human history known as “black swans.” These include the bubonic plague in Europe and a massive famine in India, which Thompson has linked to climate events. By studying polar ice-cap samples, Thompson and his colleagues have reconstructed climate and environmental data dating back 25,000 years, findings they say may help explain “devastating population disruptions.”

Aline Skaggs Biology Building, 259 S. 1400 East, Room 220, University of Utah, March 26, 6 p.m., Science.

Utah.edu

Eight college basketball teams that don’t actually exist (adjust your NCAA March Madness brackets accordingly):

8. Alabama Evolutionists 7. Cal State Compton Ice Cubes 6. Cleveland Steamers 5. NorthSouthern WolfOwls 4. DeVry Graduates 3. Colorado Fightin’ 420s 2. Sedona Dreamcatchers 1.

Dixie State Homogeneous, Universally Inoffensive Mascots

Sugar House Chamber Thursday, March 26 Gift cards available

25% OFF

HAPPY HOUR

MON - WED 10:00 am - 3:00 pm Expires 4/30/15

celebrate with us! 20% off any service on your birthday, Anniversary, or graduation

464 S 600 | Suite B • 801-363-0659 • facebook.com/SLCfourseasons

With a streetcar humming through town, traffic that would make a New Yorker blush, and two—count ’em—two sort-of brew pubs located almost next door to each other in a hulking multi-use condominium project that occupies the former Sugar Hole, Sugar House is up & coming.

And, whether you think Sugar House is speeding toward suckiness or awesomeness, you can air your views at the local Chamber of Commerce mixer.

Blush Salon & Spa, 2021 Windsor St., Salt Lake City, March 26, 5:30 p.m.7:30 p.m., SugarHouseChamber.org

How Congress Works Friday, March 27 Have you ever wondered how Congress works? Many may wonder whether or not Congress works at all. No matter: This forum, stocked with professors from across the country, will explain, as the event’s title suggests, “How Congress Really Works.”

Hinckley Institute of Politics, Orson Spencer Hall, 260 S. Central Campus Drive, Room 255, University of Utah, 10 a.m.-11 a.m., Hinckley.Utah.edu Send tips to cfrazier@cityweekly.net

NEWS

Curses, Foiled Again Rocco Tumbarello, 41, stole stuff from a home in West Boynton, Fla., authorities said, but he didn’t get far. He lives across the street. The victim came home to find had his 42-inch TV and his mother’s laptop gone, the sheriff’s report said, and spotted his neighbor “running across the street with his television in his hands.” (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

QUIRKS

n The civil marriage of Zubair Khan, 48, and Beata Szilagyi, 33, was exposed as a ruse to skirt British immigration laws when Khan couldn’t remember Szilagyi’s name. He delayed the ceremony to call his marriage broker for the name. The suspicious registrar called authorities, who arrested bride and groom for what Home Office immigration official Andy Sharpe called “a farcical, but nonetheless serious attempt.” (New York Daily News)

Nothing to Fear Here The month after an inebriated government employee crashed a small drone on the White House lawn, the Secret Service announced plans to test its own “unmanned aircraft systems” to help protect the White House from drone attacks and other incursions. “I don’t think we’re talking about a battle of drones in the skies,” Michael Drobac, executive director of the pro-drone Small UAV Coalition, said. “This isn’t Battlestar Galactica gone drone. I think this is simply an ability to monitor. I’m confident they’re not intending to use weaponized drones.” (The Washington Times)

pants on. I think the phone melted my pockets shut so I couldn’t get into it, and I had to rip my pants off. A couple of people actually said they could smell my body burning.” Apple said it is looking into the case. (CNN)

It Happens U.S. Customs and Border Protection posted job opportunities for doctors to help monitor suspected smugglers’ bowel movements at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport.

Applicants must be available around the clock to use X-rays to examine body cavities of suspected “swallowers.” If drugs or other contraband materials are detected, “the detainee may be held for a monitored bowel movement (MBM) to wait the passage of the contraband,” according to the CBP, which uses a high-tech toilet to recover the material from the waste passed by the suspected smuggler. (The Washington Times)

n Human waste left by climbers on Mount Everest is causing pollution and threatening to spread disease, according to the head of Nepal’s mountaineering association. Ang Tshering told reporters more than 700 foreign climbers and guides spend two months climbing the world’s tallest peak during the brief climbing season, leaving feces and urine at four camps where they stay to acclimate themselves to the altitude. “Climbers usually dig holes in the snow for their toilet use and leave the human waste there,” Tshering said, adding the waste has been “piling up” for years. (Associated Press)

Familiarity Breeds Attempt Christopher Miller, 41, served 15 years in prison for robbing three businesses, including a Stride Rite shoe store in Toms River, N.J. The day after he was paroled, he returned to the same Stride Rite store and robbed the same clerk, who had been notified of Miller’s release. Miller pleaded guilty and faces 10 to 20 years in prison. (NJ.com) Compiled by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

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Hot Pockets Erik Johnson spent 10 days in a hospital burn unit in Lindenhurst, N.Y., recovering from second- and third-degree burns after his iPhone exploded in his pocket. “I bent over to get keys, and all I heard was a ‘pop’ and, after a little ‘ssshh,’ smoke coming out and just, like, an instant burn,” Johnson said. “My leg just starts going on fire, try to get it out, can’t get it out. I was literally jumping up and down to get the phone out of my pocket, but I had dress

BY ROLAND SWEET

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14 | MARCH 26, 2015

Living in the In-Between An English teacher born in Vietnam grapples with a lifelong identity crisis.

By Tam Hoang comments@cityweekly.net

I

f you grew up speaking Vietnamese, like I did, there was probably a moment in your life when you realized the limitations of your vocabulary. So, a conversation with your mom went something like this: “Vietnamese Vietnamese registration Vietnamese units Vietnamese Vietnamese credentialing.”

The word that comes to mind is “static.” Or maybe even “arrested.” So, as your life moved on to more complex topics such as Roth IRAs and escrow accounts, the conversations you had with your parents revolved around what you ate last, which of your cousins got pregnant recently, and how soon after they got married they got pregnant.

Look no further than a Vietnamese for Native Speakers class to see this in effect. I took one in college and the same kids who spent their days discussing molecular synthesis or Kristeva would patter about sounding like 10-year-olds at a backyard gathering.

I remember coming back home from college and being told by a family member that I sounded ng ọng, which meant it sounded like I was speaking like a deaf person. For some older Viet folks, not being able to speak well is tantamount to having a disability.

Perhaps I should back up. I am a first-generation Vietnamese immigrant. My dad spent five and a half years in the “re-education camps” of post-war Vietnam, and that is why we were able to be here.

I teach high school English. I sometimes get asked about why and how I became a teacher—and an English teacher, of all things. I suppose the answer can be found in a spot where history, family and personal temperament intersect.

My students and community don’t often give me this impression, but occasionally there is a sense of novelty surrounding what I do in light of where I’ve come from. I was born nine years after the Vietnam War ended, but we know that the legacies of wars don’t end with the last chopper out of the country.

The Vietnamese person as victim of history is sometimes a tired trope. The question of why and how I came to do what I do, though, does tie itself to this trope, as common as it is.

History Done to Others

I think I pursued English because of an arrested sense of cultural and political identity.

It’s not that I don’t have a connection to my Vietnamese-ness or that I’m some sort of self-hater in the Amy Tan sense. It’s that the Vietnam War kind of screwed everything up. It deprived us first-generation immigrants of a holistic awareness of our identities by denying us of historical continuity. There’s a line from the film Magnolia that goes something like, “We might be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us.” It sounds kind of cheesy, but it’s true. It ain’t through with us, so it prevents us from having a streamlined sense of self.

I’m also an educator, and I don’t particularly agree that teaching is a noble profession. The phrase is used in a lot of tired ways: as a backhanded compliment, as a way to silence demands for better working conditions, as a pointless bromide. I don’t like the phrase because teaching, for a lot of teachers, is incredibly rewarding in a selfish way: You learn so much more than you think you can learn by watching young people think. And having a background in literature is handy because you get to be there to help them connect the dots from past to present to future.

There are not a lot of current problems that can’t be held up to the light of a text from the past. In my classes, we read Art of War to appreciate the Spurs’ beautiful offense against the Heat in the NBA finals, discuss Snow White’s themes on love in relation to Taming of the Shrew, make Lena Dunham and Mindy Kaling argue with Christopher Hitchens on whether or not women are funny. I suppose I try to offer my students a sense of what I lack: continuity and meaning.

We have the luxury of living in a country that is not regularly confronted by history on a massive scale.

We live in a nation of such diversity of experience that we can sometimes be selective about the historical happenings that matter to us. What’s more, we do history to other people. And I say this not in an accusatory way, but it is something I still deeply feel as a Vietnamese-American. Talk to Vietnamese people and you won’t often find a sense of grievance or victimization because of the war. What you will sometimes find is a sense of loss not different from that felt by members of the Lost Generation or those who lived through the World War I. The only difference is we don’t have a Hemingway to dramatize and explain this feeling to others.

In teaching, my students and I get to engage and unpack ideas, to make sense of things. We ask questions and defend claims. We draw lines between things, or make existing lines more visible. Teaching gives me continuity. Teaching makes things make sense. The same can’t really be said for the history of Vietnam, or in my family history.

I grew up in a village in Vietnam called Lam Son, a small backwater south of Saigon (if you’re speaking to a Vietnamese-American, don’t even think about calling it Ho Chi Minh City. Because, Communism. Because, sore losers.) It had no running water or electricity, and separating the village from the market was a two-lane freeway that people crossed at their peril every day.

Uppity for a Poor Person

Church was a big part of our lives. We went to mass at least five days a week, more if there were special masses like the one celebrating the Assumption of Mary, or if it was a family member’s patron saint’s mass. I didn’t really mind it, and neither did the people in the village. There was, after all, only one TV. Also, the masses let me keep track of where we were in the year. Free popcorn and Ben-Hur projected onto a blanket meant that it must be Christmas. Wake up all alone in the morning, and it’s probably Easter because your parents went to early mass.

I suppose my appreciation for violence and suffering as a way to experience and confront reality came from this early Catholic upbringing. Vietnamese Catholicism lags behind the Catholic Church the way the Catholic Church lags behind contemporary culture.

So a lot of the iconography I grew up with was brutal.

Our Jesus had all the lurid wounds a Renaissance Jesus was supposed to have as a reminder of sin. Our Mary was not just the Virgin, but a mother to a violently murdered son. This iconography spoke to us because it was life writ large.

The stories I read, too, weren’t exactly Goodnight Moon or Everybody Poops. The first books I read were religious ones, comic books based on Bible stories that were surprisingly graphic—people had their arms cut off and got stabbed pretty regularly in those panels.

I also remember my next-door neighbor teaching me to read the Bible, and it was through the brutal and dramatic Old Testament stories that I began to make sense of the world. The world was an arbitrarily cruel place, governed by an unpredictable God. It didn’t

Good-Bellied Intentions

tral region have a heavy accent in every sense of the word; they sound like they’re carrying a really heavy backpack when they speak. This is why sometimes they’re perceived as being difficult or demanding. It probably has to do with the fact they lived in one of the most politically volatile regions in the country.

When I travel abroad, I tell people I’m American.

And when I say that, I mean I am American in the political as well as cultural sense of the word. But when I say I’m Vietnamese, I am so culturally but not politically, or even in a historical sense. When I was growing up and attending Vietnamese school or church scout group, we would sing the national anthem of the Republic of Vietnam. This was the regime that was toppled by the Communists in 1975.

April 30 was always understood as a dark day in our history, the day that the North overran the South.

This attachment to a state that no longer existed was bizarre sometimes. If you went to Little Saigon in Orange County, you used to be able to sometimes see guys walk around with their Republic of Vietnam military uniforms. I remember during elementary school, my teacher produced a play that recounted folktales from around the world. Each country was introduced by students walking across the stage holding its flag. When the other Vietnamese students and I saw the red flag with yellow star for Vietnam, we intervened and told our teacher that the flag was actually the yellow flag with three red stripes, the flag for South Vietnam, which officially no longer existed. This is akin to some Southerners’ sentimental attachment to the Confederate flag.

Well, at least without the racism.

I still have relatives who refuse to go back to Vietnam as long as there is a Communist government, not because they fear some sort of retribution, but to make a political statement. It used to be the norm to slip a $5 or $10 bill into your passport at customs going into Vietnam, and I recall a relative telling me that doing so was a traitorous act, or, more precisely, “an act of betrayal against the fatherland.” I know. Heavy stuff.

So it’s only natural, then, that my truncated relationship with Vietnam led to my interest and eventual investment in English and the Western tradition.

Tam and his family were resettled in Milpitas, Calif., in April 1991.

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There’s this Vietnamese oldies song that goes, “I have loved the language of my country/ From the day I came into the world.” The song is typically Vietnamese in tone: sentimental and unironic. I am also sentimentally unironic about how enamored I am with my native language.

Vietnamese is tonal, so in order to make meaning with words you do stuff with your throat, chest and belly, moving up and down a minor pentatonic scale.

In English, the emphasis is on your throat, tongue and mouth. This is why I don’t always insist that people pronounce my name the way it’s meant to be pronounced: It’s just a different set of muscles. I rarely see a Vietnamese person speak the language accentuating their mouth and baring their teeth.

When I do, that person seems shady, as if they’re over-enunciating to hide something. It’s probably fitting that Vietnamese is a belly language, because the belly is an important place on a person. Whenever a person has good intentions, they are called “goodbellied.” When my mom tells me a story and she is recounting a thought, she goes, “So, I was thinking in my belly that. …”

The language is also weirdly precise: There’s a word for the smell of urine; there is a word for spoiled rice. It also uses precision in order to express generalities. My mom would sometimes say a phrase that translates to “thirty-nine thousand” to call something bullshit. She would also say, “tomorrow or the day after next” to mean, “maybe never.”

Just like English, Vietnamese can at times be a mongrel language that hints at periods of colonialism and conflict. There are Chinese words, French words, English words. A derogatory slang term for “gay” is the same in French: pédé. For all the rancor surrounding the French and their colonized subjects, at least they both can agree on bigotry.

And, like any language out there, there are prejudices and stereotypes associated with each dialect.

Northerners like myself have a mostly flat accent that can seem overly formal or slick. Southerners have a melismatic twang—imagine the bends in blues music—that connote conviviality and warmth, but also redneck provincialism. People from the cen-

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scare me, not really. Expecting life to be arbitrarily cruel can be comforting when it proves you right.

Lots of events in the Old Testament didn’t make sense, but they were told in a “Well, this is stuff that just happened” sort of way. This clicked with me at a young age. For example: This man named Onan gets killed by God for exercising the pull-out method during coitus because he didn’t want to impregnate his dead brother’s wife, whom he had to marry, because their offspring wouldn’t officially be his heirs.

God, after telling Moses that he was going to be his messenger, waits for him at a roadside inn to kill him. And his wife sees this, so she circumcises her son and touches the foreskin to Moses in order to ritually connect him to the God of the Hebrews.

The things my family has seen, by Vietnamese standards, are pretty common. Ask any VietnameseAmerican their family story and you’ll get a novel’s worth of material. Like the Old Testament, crazy stuff happened. For example: After my brother died, my mom received proposals from people offering their children to pretend to be him so that their child can come to America with us. She obviously declined those offers, but not without being accused of being uppity for a poor person.

My dad saw our neighbor get clubbed to death after refusing to pay his bar tab.

My grandfather had three wives at the same time.

He also had dozens of kids, and when he died, we had to wear color-coded mourning headbands to keep track of who our grandmother was.

My neighbor’s son hanged himself on our mango tree after a fight with his dad. His brother was the guy that was clubbed to death a few years before.

Our neighbor left her family to try and leave the country by boat. I saw her daughter plead with her as she left, and a few years later the mother returned, pregnant with another man’s child.

I carry my obsession with these types of stories into my instruction, too. I had a student’s parent tell me once, not in a hectoring sort of way, but as a way of observation that I had really, really depressing texts for students to read. It somehow didn’t occur to me that happy texts were something people wanted to read.

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 15

Vietnam and I had a past, but I didn’t feel any more connections to its present or future. Heck, I didn’t even know the Vietnamese word for Internet until a few years ago. Vietnam had moved on without me, too.

Even as a kid in Lam Son, I’ve associated the English language with power. But this may be in some way a type of biographical revisionism—I am not always quite sure how memories I have reinterpreted or reshuffled in order to conform my experiences to my current self-conception.

American = White

Tam as a child, at left, with his mother & father and the rest of his family in their home in a village south of Saigon.

16 | MARCH 26, 2015

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Release papers for Tam’s father after he spent more than five years in a re-education camp.

Tam, left, with his older brother in their village.

Tam, right, at his brother’s funeral.

That said, I remember the first time I heard English in person. I was about 5 or 6, and we were in Saigon doing an interview with an immigration official. We sat in a dark office and the American sat behind a desk.

To his right was a translator, who negotiated the questions between him and my parents. This was a Very Big Deal moment because of the body language and tone of everyone in the room. There was my dad with hat literally in hand, answering questions and avoiding direct eye contact.

The translator spoke to the official with a hushed deference. I don’t particularly recall my impressions about the language upon hearing it, but it registered with me that it was the language used to talk about important things.

When my family came to the United States in 1991, I was in the second grade.

I knew three sentences that I strung together as a stock response: “How are you? I’m fine. I’m from Vietnam.”

I remember being bombarded with questions from well-meaning teachers and I would respond, in rapid fire, those three sentences, no matter the situation.

So, conversations probably sounded something like this: “Hey, check out my rad marble collection!”

“How are you? I’m fine. I’m from Vietnam.”

“I can tell those twins from Full House are gonna grow up to be just fine!”

“How are you? I’m fine. I’m from Vietnam.”

My first day of school also had a scene that was so powerful to me that I used it in my job interview to explain why I became an English teacher. My uncle Frank, who was in the Air Force, was American. By the way, when Vietnamese people say “American,” they always mean “white.” He had married and brought over my aunt from Vietnam. On that first day of school, he walked my dad and me into my classroom.

I stood in a corner and watched the scene in front of me, and again, I saw just how much of a difference knowing English made. My uncle was comfortable, in control, conversing with his hands. My dad stood to the side, hands still, smiling a sheepish grin.

I don’t think people always realize how important language mastery is when it comes to basic things like receiving dignified treatment from others. Both my parents are smart, passionate, complicated people who have smart, passionate, complicated thoughts. But when I sometimes see them engage with the Englishspeaking world, or see the way they sometimes fret over an opaquely worded policy, I see a look of helplessness.

What I mean by this is that sometimes when they’re in a store or asking a question, or being seated in a restaurant, and they open their mouth to speak to take the time to come up with the word they mean, there is a look in the listener’s eyes that tell me my mom or dad is at this moment a subhuman. I know this sounds dramatic. But it’s something that bothers me all the time. We don’t, as a culture, validate people based on who they are, but their perceived intelligence in our language.

This helplessness translates into the way my parents engage with the world, too. I’ve seen them fearful of advocating for themselves at work because they were terrified of losing their jobs. My mom used to work in a computer-chip factory and had developed carpal tunnel as a result of repeatedly squeezing a nozzle. She used to come home in tears sometimes, but she sucked it up and fought through the pain. I remember once, when I was 12 or 13, hearing my dad leave his boss a voice message asking if he could take the next day off. The servility in his voice, the pleading, the struggling to get out words, was painful to hear.

Unco Fann

So, I was motivated at an early age to get proficient at English. My uncle Frank was a vital part of it. He taught me how to count and introduced me to American things like birthday gifts and helped me with difficult sounds like the “th” sound in “father.” Even when I got better at English, I still affectionately called him “Uncle Frank” but maintained my original Vietnamese pronunciation that sounded like “Unco Fann.” He used to thank me with the honorific ông, which meant “sir.”

He used to take me to Moffett Field golf course and introduce me to his buddies.

He used to compliment me on my Calvin and Hobbes illustrations, even though he knew I traced them from a book. So when he died of cancer when I was in elementary school, I had not only lost a great friend but also an interpreter of American culture.

TV was also a big part of my early cultural education. I sometimes have a drawl in my speech I swear comes from Michelangelo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I also watched Batman reruns from the ’60s, and the part that I loved most about the show was that it featured

think I could be more generous with myself. Maybe I’m the Reverse Co-opter of Western Literature. Some of you probably had that one friend in school who was really, really into Asian stuff. Import cars. Anime.

Snacks. Asian girls. The kind of guy who would try to order his ramen in Japanese, or who would get a kanji for the word “power” inked on his forearm, draped by an Asian dragon. That dude. I want to be the reverse of that dude. You got Orientalism? I got Occidentalism.

I will make the Celtic cross my own. I will find Queen Victoria exotic and sexy. I want to have a misspelled Greek word tattooed onto my forearm.

If I sound like I have a chip on my shoulder, I probably do. I think that every sonnet I can write, every obscure neoclassical reference I catch, every unpacking of a poetic verse undoes one moment of linguistic inadequacy from the past. But by embracing this tradition, I further remove myself from the Vietnamese language and culture I love. Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. I live in America, after all. This is the home of have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too. The home of losing weight by eating what you want, the home of the name-it-and-claim-it gospel.

Other cultures have words for people who live in these culturally liminal spaces. Mexicans have the word pocho, for example, for Spanglish speakers or assimilated Mexicans. While I suppose I could feel some sense of shame and denigration for living in the in-between, I actually relish it. Being neither-nor helps me to be fluid, to defy and define expectations, to build myself based on my own terms. I’ve realized that, in order to free myself from the historical-victim trope, I should relish living in the in-between. And if this means offering narratives that challenge my present environment or prove to be uncomfortable to my audience, so be it.

So, what’s the so-what? I think throughout my life I’ve struggled with being an in-

betweener. My in-betweenness was brought out by specific policies that led to a specific political outcome that displaced me into a specific country. I’ve been inbetween cultures and personalities; political views and priorities. And I’m sure a lot of people struggle with that, too. And, though the past may not be through with us, it is present to remind us of where we came from, and to shape our priorities about who we want to be.

I think I know now what my parents’ generation’s ultimate sacrifice was. It wasn’t just braving the open seas to escape a totalitarian state. It wasn’t just taking on menial jobs in restaurants or beauty salons to send their kids to school. In some ways, my parents and those of their generation subsumed their need to be a part of a historical narrative so that we, their kids, could have the freedom to define ourselves on our own terms.

When I think about what it means to be a firstgeneration immigrant, I’m reminded of what Brutus said in Julius Caesar: “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves or lose our ventures.” We came here on a wave, for sure, but I never knew how much my parents knew they were going to be in the shallows. I suppose the only thing to do is to take the current. CW Tam Hoang is an English teacher and freelance writer. This story originally appeared in the March 11, 2015, issue of the San Diego Reader.

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Reverse Co-opter

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Tam and his family spent their first year in America with his Uncle Frank, second from right, and his aunt in Milpitas, Calif.

MARCH 26, 2015 | 17

Having taken Post-colonial Lit, I am aware of this tension in my being so invested in Western literature. Is my consumption of the Western literary tradition just another example of servile colonial admiration for Western culture, the same way some Indians have a love for whiskey and Anthony Trollope? Or is it a sort of reverse co-opting?

Sometimes, though, I feel my knowledge of the Western literary tradition serves as a “Hey, I may not be one of you, but I sort of get you” tactic. This sort of Uncle Tom syndrome is actually something I’ve been accused of before. In my grad program for education, we had an exercise meant to demonstrate how learning can feel for English Language Learner students. Our instructor, knowing it was California, knew that not a lot of people would speak French; Spanish was the usual preferred second language. So, she had an exercise where she asked if anyone spoke French. I raised my hand. She gave me a French story to read out loud. I read it, and then we began to converse in French about the story. The experience did what it was supposed to do. Some students were confused, some checked out. This Vietnamese guy in the back of the room shouted, “Oh, man, you speak that oppressor language like it’s your business!”

So, I carry that feeling with me, of being the servile colonial subject eager to impress. But I

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a man who became something by adopting a persona that represented a projected ideal of himself. We also watched a lot of Family Channel shows like Big Brother Jake. We watched the nightly news, and sometimes I catch myself during class talking like an over-enunciating newscaster. You know what I mean: the voice that people of color do when they imitate white people.

That voice.

So, naturally, once I picked up the English language, the thing to do was to get into the literature. I remember the moment I became aware of my language proficiency. In sixth grade, after testing out of English as a Second Language, I had an assignment where we had to write an alliteration accompanied by a drawing.

Mine was: “An azure-attired Ares ate an apple on an ass.” I can re-create the drawing upon request. There was a tan-colored donkey, with Ares kind of standing on its back because I didn’t know how to draw him in a seated position. He had a cleft chin (of course), and was holding an apple while frowning.

I started with the Greek myths and was hooked from there. The struggle between human endeavor and fate had the ring of the Old Testament to it, and the gods’ unpredictability meshed well with my Old Testament god. And so my interest in literature came from synthesizing the narratives I was accustomed to with the new traditions I saw in school.

Literature was always there at all the important moments in my life. In middle school, I got rejected pretty badly by a new girl in my English class. I told my teacher, Mr. Haughey, about it, and I remember the next day he made a photocopy of a poem about taking chances in life. He had marked it up and said it made him think of my situation. I don’t remember the poem, but the feeling it gave me was what made me want to teach English. It wasn’t the poem, it was the way the poem negotiated communication and empathy between two human beings. I wanted to keep being able to reproduce that feeling in my life.

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18 | MARCH 26, 2015

ESSENTIALS

the

Entertainment Picks MARCH 26-APRIL 1

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

THURSDAY 3.26

FRIDAY 3.27

FRIDAY 3.27

TUESDAY 3.31

“As a professional typographic designer, it’s my job to bring visual clarity to other people’s ideas and information,” David Wolske says. It’s true that he does this, but in bringing visual clarity to typographic design, Wolske is also an undisputed artist in his own right and a master in this field.

Currently at Finch Lane Gallery, Wolske’s work features what he does best: making the letters of words beautiful. Wolske creates text while also bringing it to new levels, creating an art form out of traditional typeset lettering and through his own invention.

“Words are vessels that contain and transport thought, sentiments, opinions and convictions across time, space and cultures,” Wolske says.

In this show, he demonstrates his creation of an abstract language and an “isotype” technique, which he developed in 2012. By “isolating and layering the vertical, horizontal, diagonal and curved components,” he says, he is able to focus on the structural components of the letters to encourage new readings. For example, “Vessel M-1,” using only components of the letters W, O, R and D, registers as playful and exotic. “Vessel M-3” seems lush, rich and serene, where “Vessel No. 1” (pictured) feels enigmatic, kinetic and intense.

It is surely the case that if Wolske’s isotypes register so clearly, then there’s much truth to his statement that “words are vessels.” Moreover, he demonstrates that words are an art form that contain and transport ideas and meanings across color, shape and line. (Ehren Clark) David Wolske: Vessels @ Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through April 17, free. SaltLakeArts.org

Shakespeare’s most famous creation, Hamlet, has traditionally been the top of the proverbial dramatic mountain. Playing a great Hamlet can make an actor’s reputation; playing a bad one is ruination. What Paul Rudnick’s I Hate Hamlet presupposes is: What if an actor, cast as Hamlet, discovers he never really liked the role much, but is forced by the ghost of John Barrymore to go on?

The play that unfolds is a sympathetic, if barbed, look at the life and crippling insecurity of the actor, with an (only slightly anachronistic) conflict set up between the true art an actor can create on the stage and the banal, bourgeois comforts of living in Los Angeles and acting on television.

Pioneer Theatre Company’s production is a fine one, and it succeeds in no small part through the excellent casting of its leads. As the erstwhile television star Andrew Rally, Ben Rosenbaum spends most of the play as the straight man to Barrymore, but still conveys the nuances of the character’s (ultimately feigned) ambivalence toward the character of Hamlet. The showstealer, in the flashier yet just as layered role, is Barrymore, played to hammy perfection by J. Paul Boehmer. Since one of the play’s subtler and more profound points turns out to be that hamming it up is harder than it looks, it does the production much good for the role to be played with such care, sensitivity and skill. (Danny Bowes) I Hate Hamlet @ Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, March 20-April 4, Tuesday-Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.; $25-$38. PioneerTheatre.org

Over the past 20 years or so, more people around the world have come to embrace tattooing as a legitimate, challenging art form. Once a mark of deviancy, tattoos have slowly crept into mainstream social consciousness and are evolving into an acceptable form of self-expression.

This shifting acceptance has opened doors for the tattooed community in Salt Lake City.

The Salt Lake City International Tattoo Convention will be back for its 12th year at the Salt Palace Convention Center, bringing together approximately 400 of the world’s elite tattoo artists along with an anticipated 5,000 tattoo enthusiasts. The convention is a great opportunity for Utah residents to get inked by artists from as far away as Japan. Also, because many of the artists are good friends and close colleagues, the convention allows them to share new ideas and techniques they’ve developed over the past year.

There will be two new art shows featured this year. One (pictured) features the work of Jeromey “Tilt” McCullough from Champaign, Ill., who has spent the past five years painting 100 back-piece designs, all of which will be displayed.

Additionally, Art DeckCo is a company that works with talented artists from around the world to create unique, hand-painted skateboard decks.

They will showcase around 500 different skateboards this year.

Participating artists will be awarded each day for the day’s outstanding achievement in certain categories, such as best portrait, best color and best tattoo. (Shawna Meyer) Salt Lake City International Tattoo Convention @ Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S. West Temple, 385-468-2222, March 27, 3-11 p.m.; March 28, noon-10 p.m.; March 29, noon-8 p.m., single-day ticket $20, three-day pass $40, age 12-17 $5, under 12 free. SLCTattoo.com

Ken Sanders, owner of Ken Sanders Rare Books, has a reputation for being a bit countercultural. Among his friends, Sanders counted the late author/environmentalist Edward Abbey, whose monkey-wrenching stunts often targeted development in Southern Utah, such as the Glen Canyon Dam. So it is no surprise that Sanders’ bookstore will host a reading of a book titled Deadbeat Dams: Why We Should Abolish the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation and Tear Down Glen Canyon Dam. The surprising part is the author’s own background. Far from being a monkey-wrencher, Daniel P. Beard has held powerful positions in the U.S. government. He served as deputy assistant secretary for the Department of the Interior, as staff director for the Water & Power Subcommittee and, in 1993, became commissioner of the Bureau of Reclamation.

From the beginning of his tenure, Beard’s relationship with the Bureau of Reclamation was unconventional. In an interview conducted during his service at the bureau by the branch’s senior historian, Beard openly addressed his concerns about the government’s management of water.

“The dam-building era is over in the United States,” he declared. “Frankly, they’ve had a lot of unintended, unanticipated, negative impacts.” By the time Beard left the bureau in 1995, he had significantly shrunk the agency, giving increased decision-making authority to local-level field personnel.

At a time of rising concern over drought in the West, and when conservative politicians are demanding less government, Beard’s reading of Deadbeat Dams will be an interesting alternative take on how limited government might lead to better policy-making. (Katherine Pioli) Daniel P. Beard: Deadbeat Dams @ Ken Sanders Rare Books, 268 S. 200 East, 801-521-3819, March 31, 7 p.m., free.

KenSandersBooks.com

David Wolske: Vessels

Pioneer Theatre Company: I Hate Hamlet

Salt Lake City International Tattoo Convention

Daniel P. Beard: Deadbeat Dams

A&E

VISUAL ART

Stroke of ‘Scenius’ Collective Experience showcases artists inspired by one group performance.

By Brian Staker comments@cityweekly.net @stakerized

T

Jenevieve Hubbard’s “Touch” in the gallery where the sculptures were then installed.”

Jenevieve Hubbard’s description of her performance work “ Touch” could extend to the show as a whole: “ What the piece may mean in a literal sense is not as important to me as the many shifting possibilities of what it may mean to an individual,” she says. “One small, often-insignificant mark that can mean the world in different circumstances. A great equalizer. A record of what is.” CW

Collective Experience

Rio Gallery 300 S. Rio Grande St. 801-236-7555 Monday-Friday 8 a.m.-5 p.m.

Through April 29 Free Heritage.Utah.gov

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I am wandering (perhaps aimlessly) in my own desert land looking for the road to the road that can lead us in a new direction.” Brunvand walks the hills above her home; her evidence of place is a paper-trail installation.

Joey Behrens, meanwhile, asks her performers to wander through the city with their homes on their backs. Behrens describes her piece, “Architecture Embodied,” as one that “utilizes walking as a tactic in the production and dissemination of a body of work that examines notions of place, community and our relationship to the built environment. The project involved 13 volunteers, each of whom shared with me their sense of Athens, Ohio, as a place by taking me on a walk intended to show me something. “ The structures and landscape I was shown, along with what I gleaned from the individual during our conversation, and my own observations of place, became the basis for the wearable sculpture I built for each volunteer. The volunteers wore their sculptures as they walked separate routes through various Athens neighborhoods to converge

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he newest exhibition at the Rio Gallery had its genesis five years ago. In 2010, Ernesto Pujol’s group performance Awaiting involved more than 80 participants in a 12-hour walk/meditation, during the time it takes for the sun to make its trek across the sky. The project created a space for participants—including local artists, University of Utah educators, students and local community leaders—to reflect on subjects both personal and regional. Artist Stefanie Dykes, co-founder of Saltgrass Printmakers, proposed the exhibition Collective Experience to the state-operated gallery, prompted by her own reflections on that day.

“I had noticed over the years themes of walking, gender roles, embodiment, the gestural, site-specificity and notions of waiting in works produced by a few individuals [who participated in] the Awaiting performance,” Dykes says. “I wondered if others off my radar were working through these ideas. What I was seeing wasn’t multiple people making the same innovative idea in different places; I was seeing many people involved in a certain place and time subsequently creating very different type of works with similar themes.

So, Dykes contacted her “brain trust,” local artist Ed Bateman, who said the idea

sounded like musician/producer/artist Brian Eno’s idea of “scenius”—“how a group of people gathered together in one place for a specific time have an incredible creative output,” she says.

As opposed to the notion of the creative genius working alone, Eno’s neologism refers to a place in time where the combined thought processes of a large group of creative people creates an “ecology of talent” that produces “new thoughts and good new works.” It is an experimental environment that can lead to prolific and inventive results.

Artists represented in the Collective Experience exhibit—all of whom participated in Awaiting—include Dykes, Sandy Brunvand, Michael Handley, Jenevieve Hubbard, Satu Hummasti, Beth Krensky, Colin Ledbetter, Dawn Oughton, Suzanne Simpson, Jim Frazier, Heidi Somsen, Amie Tullius and Lucia Volker.

“I think I may be the best example of ‘stimulus to create,’ ” Dykes says of her own contribution to the show. “ While I was writing this proposal, I developed a new performance piece, ‘Inscribed,’ for the opening event. It will be an opportunity to create a work that is well beyond my personal practice; to echo the Awaiting experience and to extend themes of Maurice Merleau-Ponty’s ideas of the ‘sedimented body.’ ” Dykes describes “Inscribed” as “a walking performance. Performers will be wearing gray clothing, carrying deep white ceramic bowls filled with ink. The bowls will be left at the exhibition following the performance to allow the ink to evaporate and reticulate.”

Both Beth Krensky and Sandy Brunvand are also addressing concepts of place and walking, Dykes notes. Krensky’s work is performance-based, with video and stills as evidence of the action. Krensky’s performance pieces are part of a “larger series of portable sanctuaries that are intended to respond to the natural or built environment while providing a refuge—a space within a space. …

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 19

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20 | MARCH 26, 2015

moreESSENTIALS

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Thursday 3.26 Performing Arts $5 Thursdays, ComedySportz Provo, 36 W. Center St., Provo, 801-377-9700 The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-957-3322 Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-9849000 A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate, 155 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-971-7349 I Am Comic: A Night of Stand Up, Movie Grille, 2293 Grant Ave., Ogden, 7 p.m., 801-6214738 Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628 I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 Eastast, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6961 Rowland Hall Dance Concert, Rowland Hall, 843 Lincoln St., Salt Lake City, 801-718-8165

Literary Arts Richard M. Siddoway: The Cottage Park Puzzle, The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100 Farther Traveler: Poetry, Prose, Other, Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, Salt Lake City, 801-596-5000 Ronaldo V. Wilson, Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, Salt Lake City, 801-596-5000

Tim Wirkus: City of Brick and Shadow, Weller Book Works, 665 E. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-328-2586

Friday 3.27 Performing Arts Beethoven and Wagner, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-533-6683 Red vs. Blue, ComedySportz Provo, 36 W. Center St., Provo, 801-377-9700 Hairspray, Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-572-4144 Film Faculty Screening Series: Part 3, Fort Douglas Post Theater, 245 S. Fort Douglas Blvd., Building No. 636, Salt Lake City, 801-948-0631 The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre The Mikado, Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392 Laughing Stock, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628 Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Rowland Hall Dance Concert, Rowland Hall A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Off the Wall Improv, The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787 Friday Night Flicks, United Studios of Self Defense, 78 W Center St., Provo, 801-373-4844 Brad Bonar, Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St.,

FRIDAY 3.27 Brian Posehn

For nearly 20 years, Brian Posehn has been one of those comedians who seemed just on the verge of breaking big, appearing on TV shows like Mr. Show With Bob and David, Just Shoot Me and The Sarah Silverman Program. But the fact that he’s hovered on the fringes seems like a perfect fit for a stage persona that has always been about his status as nerdy outsider.

On his 2013 comedy CD, The Fartist, Posehn talks about limping his way into middle age. The guy who once joked that if he ever had a baby and talked about his baby onstage, you should “punch my baby,” now realizes he’d like that baby to “remain unpunched for as long as possible.” And he’s selfaware about the rage that has grown within him over his once-beloved Star Wars movies: “I’m the old guy that loses his shit when that comes up. That’s what my son’s gonna have to hide from me: ‘I was over at my friend’s house and saw Phantom Menace. It wasn’t that bad.’ ” (Scott Renshaw) Brian Posehn @ Wiseguys West Valley, 2194 W. 3500 South, 801-463-2909, March 27-28, 7:30 & 9:30, $20. WiseguysComedy.com Ogden, 801-622-5588 Brian Posehn, Wiseguys West Valley City, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 801-463-2909

Saturday 3.28 Performing Arts Beethoven & Wagner, Abravanel Hall Red vs. Blue, ComedySportz Provo Hairspray, Draper Historic Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre The Mikado, Heritage Theatre

A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Anjelah Johnson, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, 801-581-7100 Quick Wits, Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St. (7720 South), Midvale, 801824-0523 Laughing Stock, Off Broadway Theatre Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Rowland Hall Dance Concert, Rowland Hall Brad Bonar, Wiseguys Ogden

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moreESSENTIALS Brian Posehn, Wiseguys West Valley City

Sunday 3.29 Performing Arts Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre

Monday 3.30 Performing Arts Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre

Literary Arts

Salt City Slam, Weller Book Works, 665 E. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-328-2586

Tuesday 3.31 Performing Arts

Literary Arts

Visual Arts New Monday 3.30

Senior Student Art Exhibition, Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, Salt Lake City, 801448-4660, through April 29.

Continuing 3.26-April 1 Other Places, Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-236-7555, through May 8 Don Thorpe, Salt Lake City Library AndersonFoothill Branch, 1135 S. 2100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-594-8611, through March 28 Kevin Marcoux, City & County Building, 451 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-535-6333, through April 3 David Wolske, Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, Salt Lake City, 801-596-5000, through April 17 Human Landscapes, Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, Salt Lake City, 801-5965000, through April 17 No Fixed Address, The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-531-9800, through May 15 Collective Experience, Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St. (455 West), Salt Lake City, 801-2457272, through April 29 What’s My Name, UAF Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, (801) 322-2428, through April 8 [con]text, Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, University of Utah, 801581-7332, through July 26 Our America: The Latino Presence in American Art, Utah Museum of Fine Arts, University of Utah, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-581-7332, through May 17 Personae: deliberate . dissociative . disorder, Whitespace, 2420 Wall Ave., Ogden, 801-8952278, March 6-28

Wednesday 4.1 Performing Arts

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Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Generation A: Portraits of Autism and the Arts, Salt Lake Community College (South City Campus),

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Norman Doidge, M.D.: The Brain’s Way of Healing, Grand America Lobby Lounge, 555 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-258-6707.

Daniel Beard: Deadbeat Dams, Ken Sanders Rare Books, 268 S. 200 East, Salt Lake City, 801-521-3819 Chris Grabenstein: The Island of Dr. Libris, The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100 Salt City Slam Team Selection Finals, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-916-4016

1575 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-957-3413 Open Mic, Wiseguys West Valley City, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 801-463-2909

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Ghost: The Musical, Hale Centre Theatre A Night With Brent B-Real & Spanky, The Hotel/Club Elevate Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theatre Salt City Slam Team Selection Finals, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-916-4016 I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre

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Cheese

THAI RESTAURANTS

CAVE #2 Two for Thai Now Open!

DINE

Digging into the complex flavors of Chabaar Beyond Thai and Thai Curry Kitchen.

By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

Happy Spelunking

Caputo’s Downtown 314 West 300 South 801.531.8669 Caputo’s On 15th 1516 South 1500 East 801.486.6615 Caputo’s Holladay 4670 S. 2300 E. 801.272.0821 Caputo’s U of U 215 S. Central Campus Drive 801.583.8801

caputosdeli.com

JOHN TAYLOR

O

f all the world cuisines I’ve had the pleasure of exploring, the food of Thailand may be the most complex.

That’s not too surprising, given the multitude of nations that surround Thailand and the vast array of Asian flavors that influence Thai cooking. The cuisine of Thailand is impacted by Laos, China’s Yunnan province and Myanmar (formerly Burma) to the north; Cambodia and Vietnam to the south and east; and the Thai coconut-milkflavored dishes we’re so accustomed to are quite similar to Indonesian and Malaysian ones.

The complexity of Thai food is quickly evidenced by the fragrant aromas of most dishes, followed by a circus of flavors on the palate: sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and salty. A common dish like pad thai offers up all those flavor components, plus a complex and interesting texture—another trait of Thai cooking. Although the food needn’t be fussy or precise—as found in molecular gastronomy or France’s nouvelle cuisine, for example—it’s anything but simple, and much more than just the sum of its parts.

For me, Thai cuisine is, above all, about harmony.

We are blessed with an abundance of very good Thai restaurants in Utah, and one that’s becoming a favorite of mine is Midvale’s Chabaar Beyond Thai. It’s the creation of Anny Sooksri, who also owns Tea Rose Diner and Siam Noodle Bar in Murray. And, like Tea Rose Diner (and true to its name), Chabaar goes way beyond Thai. American breakfast items like omelets, pancakes, waff les, eggs and hash browns mingle in the spirit of multicultural detente with Thai breakfast soups such as kow tom kai (rice soup with chicken, egg, scallions, celery, carrots and ginger). There’s even a Thai vegan omelet that City Weekly and Devour Utah contributor Amanda Rock raves about: “a delicate crepe made from rice flour and served in the style of pad thai, with chopped lettuce, crisp cucumber, sliced carrot, bean sprouts, cubes of tofu and a generous sprinkling of peanuts.” It’s a Midvale melting pot, right down to the lunchtime Reuben and tuna sandwiches.

As good as the American staples are, I come to Chabaar for the flavors of Thailand and usually start with an appetizer of fresh spring rolls ($5). Aptly named, these rolls are a taste of spring itself: glass vermicellistyle noodles with crunchy carrots, iceberg lettuce, bean sprouts, cucumber and mint

wrapped up in a rice-paper wrapper and served with a scrumptious peanut satay sauce. It’s a generous serving of six 3-inch rolls for $5.

I’d heard others sing the praises of the drunken noodles ( pad ki mao) at Chabaar, and I can see why. It’s a big plate of stirfried broccoli, carrot slices, bell pepper, tender boneless beef, onions, mushrooms, scallions, chili peppers, baby corn and tomato wedges with thick, wide rice noodles in a rich, dark sauce ($11). A number of folks rave about ordering drunken noodles with a fried egg on top, but I was talked out of it by our server, who said it was “untraditional.” My noodles were delicious sans egg.

The pad thai ($13 with shrimp) is excellent as well: a hefty serving of thin rice noodles tossed with a tangy, citrusy and slightly sweet pad-thai sauce, scrambled egg, green onion and a half-dozen medium-size shrimp, topped with shredded carrot, bean sprouts and crushed peanuts, plus lime wedges on the side. It’s nearly as good heated up as leftovers for lunch as it is fresh from the kitchen.

For those who prefer their Thai food on the mild, lighter side, I recommend Chabaar’s Jungle Curry ($12) with tofu. It’s a coconut-milk-free curry—a large bowl brimming with zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, baby corn, onion, pineapple (added at the suggestion of our server), bamboo shoots, bell peppers, snow peas and lightly seared tofu cubes in a dark broth flavored with kachai (Thai ginger) and chili paste.

The pineapple added a pleasant sweetness that contrasted nicely with the curry.

Meanwhile, in Ogden, restaurateur Steve Ballard (Sonora Grill) is providing a low-cost introduction to Thai flavors at his new Thai Curry Kitchen. It’s a cool concept: a Chipotle-style walk up & order eatery with a small but tantalizing menu that tops out at $8.95. There are three Thai salads, including a salad of green papaya, cherry tomatoes, long beans, mint, papa-

Intoxicating: The drunken noodles at Chabaar are delicious with or without egg. ya dressing and chopped peanuts ($5.95 regular/$8.95 large).

There are six curry-bowl options ($4.95 regular/$7.95 large), three of which are vegetarian. Each includes a choice of brown or white rice. I loved the flavors of the coconut-milk-based red panang beef curry, with long beans, potatoes and peanuts in a delicious broth. Unfortunately, the meat was of poor quality: large, tough, chewy chunks as opposed to the tender slices I’m accustomed to in Thai dishes.

A much better option is the green chicken curry with carrots, mushrooms, chicken, bean sprouts and fresh basil.

Kale lovers will enjoy the Papuan yellow curry with purple cabbage, kale, sweet potatoes and cherry tomatoes, while the more adventurous might try the tangy and slightly bitter sour-orange curry with cashews, long beans, tamarind and jackfruit. The vegetarian Jungle Curry features bamboo shoots, long beans, eggplant, mushrooms and baby corn.

Impressively, everything at Thai Curry Kitchen is made from scratch, right down to the deep-fried crispy shallots that are just one of many garnishes available at the modern, efficient eatery. It might not be the most authentic Thai food in town, but it’s a good and inexpensive place to start. CW

Chabaar Beyond Thai

87 W. 7200 South, Midvale 801-566-5100 AnnysTakeOnThai.com Thai Curry Kitchen

582 E. 25th St., Ogden 385-333-7100 ThaiCurryKitchen.com

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24 | MARCH 26, 2015

FOOD MATTERS

by TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

Feel Good Getting

Bleu

BRUNCH

SAT AND SUN | 9AM-1PM

Brown Nominated for Beard

Bowman Brown—chef and co-founder of Forage, Salt Lake City’s most cuttingedge restaurant—has been named a semifinalist in the “Best Chef—Southwest” category for the 25th-annual James Beard Foundation Awards. With business partner and former co-chef Viet Pham, Brown pushed the boundaries of American cuisine at Forage and continues to do so, often using ingredients that are literally locally foraged. “It’s exciting to see the incredible chefs of Salt Lake, including Bowman Brown of Forage, receiving due recognition for their culinary excellence,” said Scott Beck, president/CEO of Visit Salt Lake. The semi-finalists for the Best Chef awards were chosen from more than 34,000 candidates representing 10 different regions across the United States. For more information, visit to JamesBeard. org/awards online.

Winegars’ Effortless Shopping

Frankly, I didn’t expect Utah’s Winegars grocery stores would be pace-setters, but they are. Using an online platform called Curbside Powered by Rosie, Winegars stores in Bountiful and Roy have begun offering customers the option of shopping online and having their groceries delivered to their doorsteps. “Sometimes getting to the store can be a challenge, especially for moms and busy professionals. Curbside Powered by Rosie makes getting the things you need a lot easier,” says owner Weston Winegar. “We are excited to bring online grocery shopping to our guests and know it will make a big difference.” Winegars shoppers can create free online accounts at Winegars. com, and then shop online, with the option of home delivery or curbside pickup. Customers can even specify how thick or thin they’d like their deli meats and cheeses sliced—pretty cool.

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You can keep up with the brewery’s news at MineShaftBrewingPC.com.

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GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

1/2 OFF APPETIZERS Everyday 5-7pm why limit happy to an hour?

(Appetizer & Dine-in only / Sugarhouse location only)

Koko Kitchen

Koko Kitchen is a small, friendly neighborhood place specializing in Japanese and other Asian fare. There’s no table service; just order at the counter and pick up your food when it’s ready. There’s fresh sushi and sashimi, teriyaki dishes, yakisoba, tonkatsu and surprisingly good housemade kimchi. Sit outside and enjoy your meal on the patio during warm weather.

702 S. 300 East, Salt Lake City, 801-3644888

1405 E 2100 S SUGARHOUSE ❖ 801.906.0908 ❖ PATIO SEATING AVAILABLE LUNCH BUFFET: TUE-SUN 11-3PM ❖ DINNER: M-TH 5-9:30PM / F-S 5-10PM / SUN 5-9PM

Tuscany

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2005 E. 2700 South, SLC

The lovely, sprawling tree-shaded patio is a super spot to dine al fresco, and Tuscany’s interior is gorgeous as well. Hand-painted tiles, stone fireplaces and plenty of terra cotta give Tuscany a Mediterranean feel; the wood-fired pizza ovens add to the restaurant’s look and flavor. The private club is a great spot for a quiet drink, an intimate rendezvous or just a snack, and the barkeeps are some of the Salt Lake Valley’s finest. Excellent dinner choices include beef stroganoff, herb-roasted half chicken and chicken piccata. Wrap up a meal with the signature “7-foot-4-inch” chocolate cake with chocolate ganache frosting. 2832 E. 6200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-277-9919, TuscanySLC. com

Alamexo

7903 S. Airport Rood (4400 West) 801-566-4855 | WWW.RILEYSSANDWICHES.COM

Pasta for the People since 1968

A o cal FavLo r For 1 ite 8 Yea rs!

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Start your dinner or lunch with some spicy guacamole, which is prepared at your table and comes with chips & salsa. For appetizers, try the hearty tortilla soup or the ceviche of the day. Alamexo makes choosing an entree difficult, since there are so many delicious surf & turf options. If you’re in the mood for seafood, try the salmon mancha manteles: the salmon is slow-cooked

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5370 S. 900 E. / 801.266.4182

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BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Thai One On Pair your Thai meal with the perfect libation.

By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

A

s I mentioned in this week’s Dine column (p. 22), Thai cuisine is one of the most complex you’ll ever encounter. Many dishes are simultaneously bitter, sweet, sour, salt, tangy, spicy and multi-textured. Depending on whether you’re a “glass half full” or “glass half empty” sort of person, this can either pose problems when looking to pair alcoholic beverages with Thai foods, or it can launch an adventure.

As with most foods—but especially those that have heat from chilies and such—I recommend choosing lower-alcohol libations. High-alcohol drinks just make fiery foods more incendiary on the palate. The higher in alcohol the wine that you drink to extinguish the fire on your tongue, the worse things get, as alcohol creates the sensation of heat on its own. Plus, you’ll get soused, which isn’t the goal.

It’s not surprising that you’ll find Singha beer served at most Thai restaurants. Named for a powerful mythological lion, Singha beer is a 5 percent alcoholby-volume lager produced by Thailand’s Boon Rawd Brewery. Singha’s relatively low alcohol content and light, crisp lager flavors make it an obvious choice to pair with a wide range of Thai dishes. For that matter, many lagers and IPAs work well with Thai cuisine.

Choosing wines to drink alongside Thai food is a little trickier. In doing so, I recommend keeping in mind the “weight” of the foods. That is, if you’re enjoying a somewhat heavy dish with a dark, rich sauce, it might be a good candidate for a red wine.

Something lighter—a rice noodle-wrapped vegetable spring roll such as those at Chabaar Beyond Thai (87 W. 7200 South, 801-566-5100, AnnysTakeOnThai.com), for example, would call for a light white wine or perhaps some bubbly. I was surprised and pleased to find Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc on Chabaar’s wine list—it was a good pairing for many of the dishes there.

I think Champagne and other sparkling wines are too often overlooked in Asian eateries. The lightness, effervescence and relatively low alcohol of most Champagne, domestic sparklers, cava and prosecco make them great partners for a wide range of Asian dishes. Sparkling wine helps clean

FR ES H . FAST . FABU LOUS

DRINK the palate of fats and spices, so it pairs well with Thai dishes ranging from tongue-coating coconut-milkbased curries to the ever-popular pad thai and beyond, even serving as a crisp, refreshing balance to the deepfried honey-ginger duck at Pawit’s Royale Thai (1968 E. Murray-Holladay Road, 801-277-3658, PawitsRoyaleThai.com).

A r omat ic w h it e wines with a touch of sweetness (of f-dr y) are often good choices to sip with Thai dishes. With that in mind, I’d lean toward R iesling , Chenin Bla nc, V iog nier, G e w ü r z t r a m i n e r, Pinot Gris, Pinot Grigio and Pinot Blanc, especially those from Alsace and Germany. Or, you might give a Grüner Veltliner from Austria a try. A good rosé would be an option, too, pro-

viding a little more heft and body than some of the aforementioned white wines.

As for reds, stay away from high-alcohol and high-tannin wines; they’ll overpower almost everything on a Thai menu.

You could, though, get away with lighter reds such as Beaujolais or even Merlot and Pinot Noir. The Oregon Ponzi Pinot Noir on the wine list at Bangkok Thai on Main (605 Main, Park City, 435-649-8424, BangkokThaiOnMain.com), for example, is an excellent pairing for their gang phed ped—sliced boneless duck simmered in red curry.

And the cinnamon and spice notes of Stags’ Leap Merlot work nicely with the pad see ew wheat noodles in a dark but sweet black-bean sauce.

Still, the main thing to remember when pairing Thai foods with wine or beer is to have fun. CW

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GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net and served with crispy bananas and pineapple salsa.

Or, go with the enchilada suiza, which includes roasted pulled chicken baked in a tomatillo cream salsa topped with melted queso Chihuahua, cilantro and white onion.

In addition to an array of Mexican beers, Alamexo offers a wide variety of tequilas and Latin-inspired cocktails that will pair well with your meal. 268 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-779-4747, Alamexo.com

Back Door Deli

This family-owned deli is a welcome sight, especially during the Sundance Film Festival. Unpretentious and efficient, its selection of 50 sandwiches and salads are more satisfying than a long wait to dine with Hollywood’s elite. 136 Heber Ave., Park City, 435-647-9200, BackDoorDeli.SquareSpace.com

Zoom

Enjoy the Aerie Sushi Bar sushi masters’ creative Japanese cuisine at a scenic altitude of 8,500 feet.

Located atop the Cliff Lodge at Snowbird Resort, the Aerie Sushi Bar is a bustling place to enjoy sushi, sashimi, sake, and some of the most breathtaking views in the state. Highway 210, Little Cottonwood Canyon Road, Snowbird, 801-933-2160, Snowbird. com/dining/the-aerie-restaurant

El Paisa Grill

El Paisa Grill features traditional Mexican food favorites that are made fresh from scratch daily, ranging from specialty burritos to an all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.

Try the house specialty: molcajete grill supreme with carne asada, chicken, and shrimp with tomatillo sauce, nopalitos, corn tortillas, rice and beans, and served very hot on a lava-stone dish. El Paisa also features good seafood. 2126 S. 3200 West, West Valley City, 801-973-6660, ElPaisaGrill.com

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Fiddler’s Elbow

A Sugar House institution since 1996, Fiddler’s regularly has its many tables and booths packed with sports fans who want good beer, good company and stellar wings while they watch the Utes. Saturdays feature a world-famous breakfast, and Sundays are home to the Prime-rib buffet brunch. With 32 beers on tap, including many locals, you’re unlikely to be disap-

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Robert Redford meets Martha Stewart at this cozybut-hip Sundance-owned eatery, opened by Redford in 1995. Located in the old Union Pacific Depot at the bottom of Park City’s historic Main Street, Zoom is casual but elegant dining in a unique setting. It’s hard to beat the pecan-encrusted trout after you’ve started off with the seared scallops, truffle mac & cheese or the spicy Buffalo onion rings. And there’s a well-selected wine list to accompany Zoom’s rustic American cuisine. 660 Main, Park City, 435-6499108, ZoomParkCity.com

Aerie Sushi Bar

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 27

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28 | MARCH 26, 2015

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net pointed when seeking a pint of your favorite froth to quaff. 1063 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-463-9393, FiddlersElbowSLC.com.

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Mariposa

HOUSE OF TIBET Tibetan Restaurant

|145 E. 1300 S. Ste. 409 | (801) 364-1376 |

The phrase “melt-in-your-mouthâ€? is dead-on for describing the exquisite pan-roasted sea scallop with oak-smoked bacon-chive risotto, gala apple, basil and friseĚ e salad, and Granny Smith beurre blanc. Niman Ranch beef short rib with maple-peppered bacon, crisp potatoes Anna, sauteed wild mushrooms, roasted cipolline onions, rich red-wine sauce, horseradish creme fraiche is a rich, earthy dish, yet somehow light on the palate. Add superb service and a top-notch wine list to all those good flavors, and you’ve got a real ski-town winner. Silver Lake Lodge, Deer Valley Resort, Park City, 435-645-6715, DeerValley.com

Sabaku

This restaurant mixes classic Asian cuisine with Southwestern flavors for meals that fit its Moab surroundings. Sabaku flies its fish in overnight from Hawaii, ensuring that each bite is fresh, and the wasabi is freshly ground. Daily specials mean that returning customers always have something new to try. Brave customers are rewarded with the Chef’s Freestyle roll—you never know what you might get! 90 E. Center St., Moab, 435259-4455, SabakuSushi.com

Check out our daily lunch specials .

2335 E. MURRAY HOLLADAY RD 801.278.8682 | ricebasil.com

Left Fork Grill

Everything at Jeff Masten’s Left Fork Grill is made from scratch daily, including the phenomenal pies that are frequently gone by noon. Seasoned servers dish up delicious items such as the soup of the day, and fish & chips made from center-cut halibut. Grab a seat at the counter or a table of this remodeled diner and tuck into the bodacious albacore-tunasalad sandwich, grilled pastrami sandwich or the scrumptious Reuben sandwich with freshly made coleslaw. The pulled-pork sandwich features real pork, and good ol’ grilled ham & cheese is a throwback to simpler times. 68 W. 3900 South, Salt Lake City, 801-266-4322, LeftForkGrill.com

Em’s Restaurant

Chef/owner Emily Gassmann has created a strangely un-Utah-ish bistro in the Capitol Hill neighborhood that serves up simple and wholesome food in a cozy bistro setting. Potato pancakes with creme fraiche is a great Em’s appetizer, and how could you go wrong with phyllo rolls stuffed with goat cheese and duck confit?

For dinner, red-wine-braised short ribs, wild salmon, free-range chicken and rack of lamb all compete for attention. Thankfully, there’s also a compact but wellconstructed wine list to accompany the range of flavors at Em’s. Check out Sunday brunch, which is especially appealing in warm weather on the spacious patio. 271 N. Center St., Salt Lake City, 801-596-0566, EmsRestaurant.com

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Breakfast until 4pm, Lunch and Dinner 7 days a week

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677 S. 200 W. Salt Lake City 801.355.3598

whylegends.com

REVIEW BITES

NINTH & NINTH & 254 SOUTH MAIN

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

Riverhorse on Main

Not only is Riverhorse on Main relevant again under chef/ owner Seth Adams, but it’s offering up some of the best fare in Park City. The Ahi Tuna Duo appetizer offers a generous plate with sliced sashimi-grade tuna raw on one side and minced poke-style tuna tartare on the other, served with shredded green papaya, yuzu and crispy fried wonton wedges, and sprinkled with sesame seeds. I don’t often get excited by salad, but the poached pear & burrata salad at Riverhorse on Main is outstanding. For as long as I can recall, The Riverhorse’s signature dish has been macadamia-nut-crusted Alaskan halibut ($38.50), and it’s not surprising that it’s great. However, the Utah red trout is also as tasty as it is colorful, and the veal chops are grilled perfectly. For dessert, the Dutch apple cake is irresistible, served in a cast-iron pot with vanilla ice cream, hot caramelized butterscotch and pecans. With Riverhorse on Main firing on all cylinders, it might just be around for another three decades of meaningful dining experiences.

Reviewed March 19. 540 Main, Park City, 435-6493536, RiverhorseParkCity.com

Taco Taco

of an American brasserie, with a bustling vibe. I’d expected Copper Onion 2.0, but the Copper Kitchen menu is far from a photocopy of its predecessor’s. A duo of duck croquettes is simple but exceptional—finger food at its finest. Even better is grilled porkbelly, pressed, grilled and served on a bed of frisee with carrot-ginger vinaigrette and apple-cider reduction.

Copper Kitchen now offers lunch service—with menu items like tuna Niçoise, Philly cheesesteak, fried-egg sandwich and pasta dishes—plus, there’s an outstanding weekend brunch including a delicious chicken hash. Reviewed Feb. 26. 4640 S. 2300 East, 385-237-3159, CopperKitchenSLC.com

Tamales Tita

Avenues Proper Restaurant & Publick House

You might know Tamales Tita from various farmers markets, and now they’ve finally opened their first restaurant, which features not-so-typical Mexican fare. There are no burritos, for example, and the tacos aren’t standard, but rolled tacos dorados. As the name suggests, tamales are the big draw—housemade from scratch, and in a wide assortment of flavors, including chicken, pork, jalapeño & cheese, chicken with mole, bean & cheese and vegan.

There’s also a selection of sweet tamales, plus a breakfast tamale with bacon, sausage, egg and cheese. Reviewed March 5. 7760 S. 3200 West, West Jordan, 801282-0722, TamalesTita.com

Copper Kitchen

With its large, airy, open space and high, copper-colored ceilings, the latest venture by Ryan and Colleen Lowder is sort

Despite its contemporary décor, Avenues Proper somehow manages to feel comfy and cozy—an inviting neighborhood space. The amazing “Prop-corn” appetizer features popcorn tossed in seasoned duck fat with sea salt and fennel pollen, while the “small” side of the menu includes appetizers like a cheese plate and roasted beet salad.

Avenues Proper’s poutine offers deeply flavored braised short-rib beef and dark roasted-chicken gravy smothering homemade pommes frites, garnished with truffled cheddar and minced scallions—and the fries at Avenues Proper are so good that it’s almost tragic to see them soaked in gravy.

Of course, there are the craft beers, adding to a terrific spot that’s perfect for proper food, proper drinks and proper service. Reviewed Feb. 19. 376 Eighth Ave., Salt Lake City, 385-227-8628, AvenuesProper.com

2014

2005

2007

2008

VOTED BEST COFFEE HOUSE

KING BUFFET

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Adjacent to Cannella’s Italian Restaurant, this new eatery is a joint venture by Cannella’s and its longtime chef, Alberto Higuera Calderon. The menu isn’t extensive—about the range of items you’d expect from a taco cart—but it packs a punch. Tuesday is a particularly good day to drop in; that’s when all tacos are $2 each. But I’d enjoy the tacos here any

day, especially the chicken mole negro taco, and the excellent zucchini-blossom tacos are a good choice for vegetarians. However, my favorite item is the carne asada burrito.

It’s a large flour tortilla stuffed—and I mean stuffed— with heaping amounts of tender, flavorful, slightly salty morsels of grilled beef along with white rice, corn and black beans. I love the simplicity of the tacos and burritos, all of which can be adorned with a variety of garnishes and sauces from the salsa bar. I’ll go so far as to say it is Salt Lake City’s best burrito. Reviewed March 5. 208 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-428-2704, TacoTacoSLC.com

L U N C H B U F F E T s D I N N E R B U F F E T s S U N D AY A L L D AY B U F F E T

MARCH 26, 2015 | 29

TEL: 801.969.6666 5668 S REDWOOD RD TAY L O R S V I L L E , U T

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CHINESE SEAFOOD | SUSHI | MONGOLIAN

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30 | MARCH 26, 2015

KUMIKO, THE TREASURE HUNTER

Language Barrier

CINEMA

The powerful need to be understood drives Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter.

By Scott Renshaw scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

“T

his is a true story,” reads the introduction to the Coen brothers’ 1996 film Fargo—and Kumiko (Rinko Kikuchi) takes the Coens at their word. A 29-year-old “office girl” in Tokyo, Kumiko has become obsessed with the movie, and with the idea that the bag of ill-gotten money buried in the snow at the end of the film by Steve Buscemi’s character is still out there somewhere on the American plains. She doesn’t understand the possibility that the “true story” claim is a gag—or perhaps she needs it to be true too much to consider the possibility that it’s not. And the irony of it is that David and Nathan Zellner’s brilliant Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter is fundamentally about the tragic consequences of not being understood.

Kumiko is generally miserable in a society that doesn’t seem to think she has any value. Her boss (Nobuyuki Katsube) sends her on menial errands, to which she can only respond by spitting in his tea. Phone conversations with her mother inevitably turn to why she isn’t married yet, and why can’t she be a good daughter and come back to live at home. The Fargo treasure, in Kumiko’s mind, is the thing that will give her life significance. So, when her boss hands her the company credit card to buy a present for his wife, it becomes her opportunity to take that trip to America, armed with a detailed notebook, charts and a map that she’s torn out of a library book.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter is constructed largely as a series of episodic encounters once Kumiko arrives in Minnesota, yet those events are far from random. The people she meets are almost all well intentioned, yet they’re not able to comprehend what it is she needs, even if they can literally understand it when she says the word “Fargo.” In the airport, a pair of

Christian proselytizers try to steer her toward the path they think she needs to be on; a woman (Shirley Venard) who gives her a place to stay for the night helpfully offers her thoughts that “you don’t want to go to Fargo,” and shares her knowledge of Japanese culture from the novel Shogun. Even the kindly sheriff (played by director David Zellner) initially tries to understand her by bringing her to a Chinese restaurant so the owner can translate, not quite grasping that there’s no overlap in the languages.

What the Zellners are attempting with Kumiko is a kind of feminist road-trip fable, a spiritual cousin of sorts to Thelma & Louise.

From the sense in her native country that she’s already over the hill at unmarriedand-not-yet-30, to the responses of those she encounters in America, Kumiko faces nothing but attempts to convince her that her own dreams and goals are foolish or worthless; sitting at a restaurant table with the child of an old friend, a reminder of the only role that’s expected of her, inspires her to run out the door. It’s no fluke that one of Kumiko’s last encounters is with a deaf cab driver, complicating things to the point where she might as well not be expressing her own desires at all.

At the heart of the story is Rinko Kikuchi’s performance as Kumiko, which has to walk a tricky line that has had some viewers interpreting the character’s behavior as mental illness. There’s cer-

Rinko Kikuchi in Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter

tainly a kind of monomania to Kumiko’s quest, and a tenacity that refuses to permit the thought that her one pursuit isn’t real, but Kikuchi finds powerful emotion in the way Kumiko has turned inward, because nobody else around her offers real help.

There might not be a more heartbreaking scene at the movies this year than Kumiko preparing for her trip to America by saying goodbye to her pet rabbit, Bunzo, her only apparent companion.

In a sly self-referential moment, the Zellners open Kumiko with their own “This is a true story” intro, a nod to the urban legend about a real-life Japanese woman that inspired this story. They’re not telling that real-life story, of course; they’re listening for something deeper about what might inspire someone to look at a fanciful, fictional movie and think it might be her only chance for salvation. Sometimes listening—really listening—to someone’s story is the thing they need most in the world. CW

KUMIKO, THE TREASURE HUNTER

HHHH Rinko Kikuchi David Zellner Not Rated

TRY THESE Fargo (1996) Frances McDormand William H. Macy Rated R

Babel (2006) Brad Pitt Rinko Kikuchi Rated R

Goliath (2008) David Zellner Nathan Zellner Not Rated

Kid-Thing (2012) Sydney Aguirre Nathan Zellner Not Rated

CINEMA CLIPS NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

’71 HH.5 Somewhere on the continuum between “spells absolutely everything out” and “bordering on incomprehensible”—nearer to the latter than to the former—is this “come on, throw us a bone” narrative. Jack O’Connell (Unbroken) plays Pvt. Gary Hook, a British soldier circa 1971 deployed to Belfast, Northern Ireland, and who finds himself left behind by his unit in a city where plenty of people want him dead. Director Yann Demange keeps up a propulsive pace as Hook tries to stay alive, with a particular burst of energy when Hook finds assistance from a hard-nosed young Protestant boy. But while trying to portray a place where even people who are supposed to be on the same side are at one another’s throats, screenwriter Gregory Burke tangles his story such that it’s often hard to understand who’s trying to kill whom, and why. And Hook himself is little more than a cipher of innocence, with a backstory too enigmatic to make an impression.

When he throws away his dog tags, as though symbolically starting a new life, it would have helped to really understand much of anything about his old one. Opens March 27 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw

of prison rape, but there are funnier ways to do it than by merely repeating “You’re going to get raped” over and over, which is essentially what Get Hard does. It’s a shame, too, because when the movie isn’t obsessing over forcible sex, it has a handful of solid laughs and a couple of great scenes. Hart’s motor-mouth energy and Ferrell’s patented cluelessness often work in beautiful harmony, and the film addresses race and class issues with broad but incisive satire. But it gets bogged down with that other subject, mentioned frequently but seldom humorously. To paraphrase a classic Seinfeld line: It doesn’t offend me as a homosexual; it offends me as a comedian. Opens March 27 at theaters valleywide.

(R)—Eric D. Snider Grey Gardens HHH.5 The Maysles brothers’ 1975 documentary is a masterfully assembled, deeply troubling piece of work. It is, on the one hand, possibly one of the best documentary films ever made and a stunning piece of filmmaking. On the other, it’s a rather lurid exercise in gawking at two women solely because they have the name Bouvier, and are respectively the aunt and cousin of former First Lady Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. The film’s very existence invites uncomfortable questions about Americans’ knotty relationship with the concept of an aristocracy, and whether our need to prove our lack of need for the institution invites cruel attitudes toward the moneyed (or formerly moneyed) classes.

And, paradoxically, whether we make certain concessions for our would-be/has-been aristocrats that we don’t make for the neverwere/never-will-be’s. In any case, Grey Gardens is undoubtedly, by purely aesthetic standards, a great film, but it is a great film that is exceedingly difficult to sit through. Much like its moral paradox, it is a film at once confined to Grey Gardens as its protagonists are, and yet, through that confinement, stretches out in all directions in an eternity of discomfort. Opens March 27 at Tower Theatre. (NR)—Danny Bowes

It Follows HHH.5 Appearing at first glance to be little more than a (very well-executed) exercise in cinematic style, It Follows—about teenagers terrorized by a supernatural curse transferred through sex—has quite a bit going on beneath the surface. Writer/director David Robert Mitchell’s framing, lighting, tone, use of Steadicam and score all scream “John Carpenter” in mile-high neon—which is of course one of the furthest things from bad that there is, although Mitchell seasons it with an additional postmodern streak. It Follows has been described as “The Ring with sex,” which is not inaccurate, but doesn’t sufficiently grasp the way and depth with which Mitchell plays with horror-film traditions. The way both his script and camera regard the “threat” the protagonists face runs counter to the way less-confident filmmakers treat the genre, and takes advantage of the fact that few things are as scary as the unknown, and few things are less scary than a fully explained horror-movie villain. The visceral power dissipates a bit by the concluding act, when it fully shifts into “movie about horror movies” mode, but overall it’s still a terrific piece of work.

Opens March 27 at Tower Theatre. (R)—DB Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter HHHH See review p. 30. Opens March 27 at Broadway Centre Cinemas.

(NR)—SR The Salvation [not reviewed] A Danish settler (Mads Mikkelsen) in 1870s America faces the wrath of a vengeance-driven gang leader. Opens March 27 at Tower Theatre. (R)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS Inglourious Basterds At Brewvies, March 30, 10 p.m. (R) Song of the Sea At Sorensen Unity Center, March 27, 6 p.m.

Still Alice At Park City Film Series, March 27-28 @ 8 p.m. & March 29 @ 6 p.m. (R)

SALT LAKE CITY Brewvies Cinema Pub 677 S. 200 West 801-355-5500 Brewvies.com

Megaplex 20 at The District 11400 S. Bangerter Highway 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Broadway Centre Cinemas 111 E. 300 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org

PARK CITY Cinemark Holiday Village 1776 Park Ave. 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Century 16 South Salt Lake 125 E. 3300 South 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Redstone 8 Cinemas 6030 N. Market 435-575-0220 Redstone8Cinemas.com

Cinemark Sugar House 2227 S. Highland Drive 801-466-3699 Cinemark.com

DAVIS COUNTY AMC Loews Layton Hills 9 728 W. 1425 North, Layton 801-774-8222 AMCTheatres.com

Water Gardens Cinema 6 1945 E. Murray-Holladay Road 801-273-0199 WaterGardensTheatres.com Megaplex 12 Gateway 165 S. Rio Grande St. 801-304-4636 MegaplexTheatres.com Redwood Drive-In 3688 S. Redwood Road 801-973-7088 Tower Theatre 836 E. 900 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org WEST VALLEY 5 Star Cinemas 8325 W. 3500 South, Magna 801-250-5551 RedCarpetCinemas.com Carmike 12 1600 W. Fox Park Drive, West Jordan 801-562-5760 Carmike.com Cinemark 24 Jordan Landing 7301 S. Bangerter Highway 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Valley Fair Mall 3601 S. 2700 West, West Valley City 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Showcase Cinemas 6 5400 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville 801-957-9032 RedCarpetCinemas.com

Megaplex Jordan Commons 9400 S. State, Sandy 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Megaplex Legacy Crossing 1075 W. Legacy Crossing Blvd., Centerville 801-397-5100 MegaplexTheatres.com WEBER COUNTY Cinemark Tinseltown 14 3651 Wall Ave., Ogden 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex 13 at The Junction 2351 Kiesel Ave., Ogden 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com UTAH COUNTY Carmike Wynnsong 4925 N. Edgewood Drive, Provo 801-764-0009 Carmike.com Cinemark American Fork 715 W. 180 North, American Fork 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Movies 8 2230 N. University Parkway, Orem 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Provo Town Center 1200 Town Center Blvd., Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark University Mall 1010 S. 800 East, Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex Thanksgiving Point 2935 N. Thanksgiving Way 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com Water Gardens Cinema 8 790 E. Expressway Ave. Spanish Fork 801-798-9777 WaterGardensTheatres.com

MARCH 26, 2015 | 31

Cinemark Sandy 9 9539 S. 700 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Gateway 8 206 S. 625 West, Bountiful 801-292-7979 RedCarpetCinemas.com

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Cinemark Draper 12129 S. State, Draper 801-619-6494 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Tinseltown USA 720 W. 1500 North, Layton 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

SOUTH VALLEY Century 16 Union Heights 7800 S. 1300 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Station Park 900 W. Clark Lane, Farmington 801-447-8561 Cinemark.com

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Home HH There’s an edge to the source material, Adam Rex’s book The True Meaning of Smekday, in which alien invasion becomes an allegory for colonialism, with humans rounded up and sent to Florida’s “Happy Mouse Kingdom.” Don’t expect any such bite in this shapeless animated silliness, in which the Boov take over Earth after being chased from their home world by the powerful Gorg, and an outcast Boov named Oh (Jim Parsons) winds up accompanying a young human girl named Tip (Rihanna) on a journey to find her mother. Home has no interest in dealing with the tricky moral material of claiming dominion over an inhabited region, which is perhaps to be expected. But all that remains is a tired mismatched buddy comedy about friendship and family and other easily digestible notions, predicated on finding Parsons’ perpetual malapropisms hilarious. There’s some effective visual humor—the aliens collect items they find worthless in hovering

balls of garbage, leading to, e.g., a massive sphere of accordions floating over Paris—and fine voice work by Steve Martin as the narcissistic Boov leader. In general, though, limp family movies like this belong somewhere in a hovering airborne ball. Opens March 27 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—SR

Theater Directory

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Get Hard HH On paper, the central joke of Get Hard is that a white-collar criminal (Will Ferrell) hires someone he believes to be a tough felon (Kevin Hart) to help him prepare for a stint in San Quentin.

In practice, the central joke is this: “Hey, did you know that in prison, there is a lot of rape?” Not that a comedy about a scared rich dude heading for state prison shouldn’t address the subject

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

CINEMA

CLIPS

CURRENT RELEASES The Divergent Series: Insurgent HH The most interesting aspect of Divergent was its fundamental resistance to establishing its story and world-building, focusing instead on training montages occasionally interrupted by Shailene Woodley and Theo James being attractive at each other. This chapter has none of those respites: The dialogue is endless and artless, while the world-building is too elaborate and literalized to function as metaphor, and too shallowly conceived to work as science fiction. The basic construction of â&#x20AC;&#x153;teen girl fights fascismâ&#x20AC;? may be admirable, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too much clutter here, including in the filmmaking. Woodley and James manage to power through on sheer charisma, and Miles Teller thrives again as essentially the comic relief. There are worse and more harmful ways to spend two hours. Like playing a drinking game where you down a shot every time someone says â&#x20AC;&#x153;divergent.â&#x20AC;? Do not do this. (PG-13)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;DB Do You Believe? HH For a while, this Christian-themed drama feels like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to be about something fairly profound: the imperative to manifest oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faith through service. You can still see that framework throughout much of the narrative, which follows a dozen or so charactersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; including a homeless single mother (Mira Sorvino), a repentant gang-banger and a PTSD-afflicted Marineâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;as they wrestle with doubt and belief. The performances are solid throughout, though the strongest stories struggle to gain momentum as the editing cycles through so many individual stories. But the bigger problem is the inability of writers Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon (Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not Dead) to resist finding villainy in the God-bashing ways of secu-

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Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

lar humanists, while building to a melodramatic climax overflowing with life-or-death scenarios. It feels like someone watched Paul Haggisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Crash and thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nah, too subtle.â&#x20AC;? (PG-13)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

The Gunman H.5 The cinematic trope of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;ex-Special Forcesâ&#x20AC;? badass on a one-man righteous killing spree becomes even more exhausting when draped in a political message. Sean Penn stars as Jim Terrier, targeted by someone trying to clean up loose ends after Terrierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s long-ago involvement in a financially motivated assassination in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The attempts to humanize Terrier include giving him postconcussion syndrome, and a woman he left behind (Jasmine Trinca) who can cry, be in peril and have spontaneous â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s forget you abandoned me eight years agoâ&#x20AC;? sex with him. But whatever worthy notions about the human costs of imperialism might be floating around here, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re buried in unimaginative brutality, leading up to a truly preposterous conclusion. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to wag a finger at corporate opportunism, this is hardly the genre in which to do it. (R)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

An Honest Liar HHH.5 If directors Justin Weinstein and Tyler Measom had offered nothing but a talking-head retrospective on the career of James â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Amazingâ&#x20AC;? Randiâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;escape artist, magician and self-appointed debunker of paranormal fraudsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it still would have been tremendously satisfying. They weave their way from his childhood fascination with Harry Houdini through his professional career, focusing on some of his legendary 1970s/1980s exploits in a way thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s both entertaining and evocative of contemporary attempts by scientists to deal with those who view empiricism as a threat. But thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a curveball as the filmmakers also explore Randiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personal lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;notably his longhidden 25-year relationship with his life partner, JosĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with results that cast a different perspective on the motivations behind Randiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s career of myth-busting. The compelling central figure comes to life in something more vital than a flashback biography. (NR)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

more than just movies at brewvies FILMĂ&#x160;UĂ&#x160;FOOD U NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: MARCH 27 TH - APRIL 2ND MONDAY 3/30

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BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Get Weird Going Clear takes on Scientology,

TV

Revel Record Read a Book

Mr. Selfridge returns and Weird Loners isn’t quite that.

The Walking Dead Sunday, March 29 (AMC)

Season Finale: In which The Walking Dead pulls a Sons of Anarchy and drops a 90-minute finale (though TWD has gone long only twice before, as opposed to every episode of the last SOA seasons). It’s been ham-fistedly hinted that the idyllic li’l bunker town of Alexandria isn’t a great fit for Team Rick—at least not under current management, which likely will be changing soon (and, depending upon how closely the series follows the original comic-book story, not without non-walker casualties). The Internet Echo Chamber of Wild Guesses has, in various combinations, the entire cast being killed off in the Season 5 finale—with the exception of Glenn, but that’s a whole ’nother conspiracy theory—so here’s my prediction: AMC will spend an obnoxious chunk of this hour and a half reminding you that Mad Men isn’t over yet.

Killing Jesus Sunday, March 29 (National Geographic) Movie: Speaking of religious nuttery, here’s three(!) hours of trusted journalist Bill O’Reilly’s account of the life and death of beloved literary character Jesus of Nazareth. As

Mr. Selfridge Sunday, March 29 (PBS) Season Premiere: Now here’s a guy who actually existed: Department-store mogul Harry Selfridge’s (played by Jeremy Piven) life still lends itself well to this lushly produced British period drama, even though the producers are rushing the story to squeeze it into four seasons, er, “series.” As Season/Series 3 opens, Mr. Selfridge has jumped from 1914 to 1919: World War I is over, Harry’s wife is dead, and his arch-nemesis, the appropriately villainously named Lord Loxley (Aidan McArdle) is back to cause trouble—not that Harry needs any help doing that for himself (history shows that Selfridge’s final years were rife with terrible decisions, after all). Catch Piven in this before the Entourage movie digs up Ari Gold again.

Weird Loners Tuesday, March 31 (Fox) Series Debut: Thanks to recent left-field hits Empire and The Last Man on Earth, the bar for “weird” has been raised considerably at Fox, and these Weird Loners can’t quite reach it. Zachary Knighton (Happy Endings), Becki Newton (Ugly Betty), Nate Torrence (Hello Ladies) and Meera Rohit Kumbhani (Black Box) star as perpetually single New York City 30-somethings who wind up living in the same Queens townhouse, and … that’s about it. The “weirdest” thing about Weird Loners is that it’s about the only new NYC comedy not set in Brooklyn. Still, considering the weak material, the cast nails the funny with ease (Knighton and Newton, in particular, have been deserving of a break for years), and Weird Loners is a good fit with Tuesday partner New Girl—now if only they shared some of the same writers as well. CW Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Documentary: All—and I do mean all—religions are based on insane mythologies; the origin story of Scientology is no more loony than any other faith’s, just newer and sporting more celebrity endorsements. Alex Gibney’s documentary Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief, based on the 2013 book by Lawrence Wright, mostly sidesteps the sci-fi legend of Xenu and focuses on the here & now practices of Scientology, and they’re more frightening than John Travolta’s hairpiece: torture, isolation, blackmail, the silencing of critics, the “disconnecting” of families, the possibility of a Battlefield Earth 2 movie (never actually mentioned, but it should have been). And if you hate, hate, hate Tom Cruise, prepare to squee like you haven’t since he was rendered dead several dozen times in Edge of Tomorrow.

Weird Loners (Fox)

| cityweekly.net |

Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief Sunday, March 29 (HBO)

with O’Reilly’s previous books-turned-TV-movies, Killing Kennedy and Killing Lincoln, Killing Jesus has been criticized for “historical inaccuracies”—which is like saying this column is “lacking in monster-truck engine specs.”

One has nothing to do with the other, but distrust of a Fox News host is understandable, even when it comes to fictional hippies.

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 33

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34 | MARCH 26, 2015

Pater Noster

MUSIC SARA XIAYU

FATHER MURPHY

Father Murphy uses religious symbols to tell archetypal tales of enlightenment.

By Kolbie Stonehocker kstonehocker@cityweekly.net @vonstonehocker

B

orn in Italy and raised Catholic (he even almost became a priest), Freddie Murphy of Italian occult-psychedelic/noise duo Father Murphy has deeply rooted memories of the music he experienced in church. When he and his bandmate, Chiara Lee, were young, “we were going to Mass several times per week, and there were several moments during the year where you have to go for long processions,” he says. “Usually, you keep on singing, and there’s spare percussion, and at the end, you gather in the church and there’s only one organ playing.”

Those experiences, Murphy says, “stuck in our minds,” even after they left the religion of their childhood. So when they sought the truest musical voice through which to express themselves and their disillusionment with religion, they drew from what Murphy calls “the natural construct.”

Sacred music is “the first music that we can think of that we can remember as kids, and so somehow that got through,” Murphy says. “And it gets out when we try to express something that we feel a lot.”

But Father Murphy’s music is unlike anything you’d probably hear in an actual church. The duo’s dense, mostly instrumental sound echoes elements of religious music, but those threads are woven through nightmarish layers of dissonant noise and droning, chant-like vocals. Created with a wide array of effects and custom-built instruments, their music is “like you have a choir where you have so many voices, but at the end, it hits you as one whole thing,” Murphy says.

And at the center is the fictional character of Father Murphy, a priest whose story of suffering, heresy and enlightenment has been revealed one “chapter” at a time with the release of each of the band’s albums. The priest Father Murphy’s story began with his initiation into religion, as told in the band’s self-titled 2003 album, and continues with him exploring the meaning of the symbol of the cross, as depicted in their just-released fifth full-length album, Croce (“cross” in Italian).

The legend of the priest Father Murphy, as the band explains on their website, is a “personal rewriting and abstraction of the Bible as a pretext to say something different.” Similar to how Murphy and Lee are influenced by their religious musical experiences as they write their own music, they also draw from the many symbols and images of Christianity as they express the spirituality of the priest and, on a deeper level, their own approach to spirituality.

“We have a lot of issues with religion,” Murphy says. “We find ourselves longing for religiousness, but we don’t want to have anything to do with religion again. … In order to express that, we go back to the religious imagery that we know, and we use it as parables in order to express something.”

In the early days, Father Murphy started playing shows as something of a “Syd Barrett tribute band or an Os Mutantes tribute band,” Murphy says. But a new “cathartic”

Dark arts: Father Murphy throws shade—literally. direction for Father Murphy soon revealed itself. As the duo recorded and toured, “we noticed that we were losing the rock & roll side of it and getting more like a performance or a theatrical way of expressing something,” Murphy says, “as if we needed to see ourselves from the outside, almost as actors in trying to act out our feelings.”

During live performances, Murphy and Lee wish for the audience to experience those same visceral emotions.

Murphy compares gathering with audience members at shows to priests gathering with churchgoers at Mass.

“There’s one point when there’s no difference between the priests and the believers, and there’s one thing that everyone is feeling,” Murphy says. And at concerts, the goal is for “people to focus on what we do in order to get to the point where they feel what we are feeling.”

Similarly, listeners should be able to identify with the many universal themes found on Croce as well. Told from the point of view of the archetypal character Father Murphy, Croce is the story of one priest’s search for beatitude—blessedness or happiness—but it also seems to be the story of humankind as a whole. On Side A of the record, titled “Sacrificio,” Father Murphy is alone and must find the strength to face pain and eventual crucifixion. But on Side B, “Beatitudine,” Father Murphy hears the approach of an angelic army—signaled in the music by horns—and finds higher consciousness.

Although it sounds like an esoteric tale, the story of Croce is one that’s been told throughout the ages. Whether you’re searching for spiritual enlightenment or just trying to overcome a challenge, walking through the fire is often the first step.

“If you want to go up, you first have to go down,” Murphy says. “In this way, we try to have this parable and this journey where you first go down inside yourself, and then you can go up and then be facing what you’ve got through dedication and through your hard work.” CW

Diabolical Daze: Father Murphy

w/Cool Ghouls, Caddywhompus, Native America, Naan Violence, Temples, Greebes Diabolical Records 238 S. Edison St. Thursday, March 26 5:30 p.m.-11 p.m.

Free FatherMurphy.org, Facebook.com/DiabolicalRecords

Space Is the Place

By Patrick Wall comments@cityweekly.net @weekendofsound

P

ublic Service Br oadc a st i n g ma kes old things new again.

The pseudonymous British duo—multiinstrumentalist J. Willgoose Esq. and drummer Wrigglesworth—use archival film as a departure point for their songwriting, crafting new beats and music and grafting soundbites from old newsreels, in the place of lyrics, onto them.

Where 2013’s Inform-Educate-Entertain flitted between a host of 20th-century events, the duo’s latest album, The Race for Space—released in February—focuses solely on the first 15 years of the Space Age, mining the vaults of the American and Soviet space programs, unearthing samples that hadn’t been heard, in some cases, in a half-century.

Willgoose wanted to bring back the singlesubject approach of the band’s earliest records— their first EP was about World War II propaganda— and space, he says, suggested itself as an obvious topic. He had always been interested in space and interstellar exploration, and the infinite scope of the cosmos lent itself well, he thought, to broadening PSB’s sound, allowing him to work with different instrumentation and arrangement techniques.

The archive Willgoose uses on the new album ranges from the relatively obvious—Kennedy’s 1962 moon speech on the quietly awe-inspiring title track— to obscure 1965 Soviet footage of Alexey Leonov’s first spacewalk, which anchors the gripping “E.V.A.” But Willgoose pairs the historical samples with music that’s not just clever and enjoyable (see: the Daft Punk-y “Go!”), but also thematically fitting. Following the exuberant funk “Gagarin,” which imparts the thrill of the first successful manned mission to space, is “Fire in the Cockpit.” The song is all static, hiss and dolorous drone, implying the confusion and horror of the 1967 Apollo 1 disaster, which killed three American astronauts.

It’s music that entertains as well as it informs; it tells a loose story, but smartly focuses on the inherent humanity and emotion—the excitement, bravery, joy and terror—of the era. After all, the idea behind Public Service Broadcasting, Willgoose asserts, is not to teach history, but to draw contemporary connections to long-ago events.

“I think re-framing stuff from the past, in the way that we hopefully have done, does sort of throw the present into relief,” Willgoose says. “I think there are interesting parallels that can be drawn—and that’s some of the point of what we’re doing, really, is trying to re-examine this stuff that seems a long way away but actually still has meaning.”

But that The Race for Space comes during a time when there’s renewed interest in and public demand for space exploration? Well, that’s just a coincidence.

“I’d like to say that we timed our release to match the comet landing,” Willgoose says with a laugh. “But we’re not that savvy. It was just really good luck.” CW

Public Service Broadcasting

w/Beachmen The Urban Lounge 241 S. 500 East Thursday, March 26, 8 p.m. $10 in advance, $12 day of show PublicServiceBroadcasting.net, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com Limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

The

Westerner

COUNTRY DANCE HALL, BAR & GRILL

2ND ANNUAL

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BUDWEISER GIRLS GIVING OUT SWAG | BRATS & JUMBO PRETZELS BEER COCKTAIL MENU | NO COVER BEFORE 8 P.M.

FREE LINE DANCING LESSONS 7PM - NO COVER

FREE COUPLES DANCE LESSONS 7PM - NO COVER

fridays

LADIES’ NIGHT

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LIVE MUSIC NO COVER BEFORE 8PM

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 35

www.we ste rn e r s lc .c om

| CITY WEEKLY |

STEIN WEDNESDAY

thursdays

wednesdays

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

SATURDAY, APRIL 4

Hurray for the Riff Raff Singer-songwriter Alynda Lee Segarra grew up in the Bronx but struck out at 17 to hitchhike across the country. On her travels, she visited the West Coast, the South and, eventually, her beloved adopted hometown of New Orleans. There, she was so inspired by the music scene that she hung up her traveling shoes (for the most part) and started playing music, first as a busker and later with her country/folk band Hurray for the Riff Raff. Now 26, Segarra sings with a rich, warm voice that seems all the more compelling perhaps thanks to her experiences as a traveler, and is reminiscent of Lucinda Williams’ earthy grit as well as classic Carter Family twang. Hurray for the Riff Raff’s latest release, 2014’s Small Town Heroes, is deeply heartfelt, mature and masterfully crafted, with several songs dedicated to New Orleans (“St. Roch Blues”) as well as stunners like “The Body Electric,” which is a traditionally structured murder ballad told from a feminist perspective. Adia Victoria will also perform. The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $18, TheStateRoom. com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com Beat Connection For some weird reason, it’s difficult to find much information about these guys online, but really, checking out the Seattle pop band’s music will tell you everything you need to know. Their 2012 debut album, The Palace Garden, was as lush as the title implies—a colorful mix of synths, sleek beats and tropical sounds—and, as evidenced by the different moods captured in tracks like “Further Out” and “Invisible Cities,” could hold its own as a dance record as well as something you could bliss out to.

A few years later, Beat Connection seem

Beat Connection

CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY KO L B IE S TO N EH O CK ER

@vonstonehocker SARRAH DANZINGER

Thursday 3.26

LIVE

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE

to be experimenting with adding funk elements to their music. No word on a new album yet, but you can get a taste for their new direction by listening to Beat Connection’s new track “Illusion,” released a couple of weeks ago. Also on the bill are Elel and Shaprece. Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), 8 p.m., $8 in advance, $10 day of show, KilbyCourt. com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

Friday 3.27

This Will Destroy You Texas instrumental post-rock quartet This Will Destroy You wrote their challenging 2011 album, Tunnel Blanket, after a particularly dark time for the band that involved personal tragedies, departing band members and other difficult events. Their latest release, 2014’s Another Language, comes after another trying period, but unlike the brutally morose sounds on Tunnel Blanket, the songs on Another Language convey themes of hope and overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges. They’re still plenty brutal, though, in true This Will Destroy You fashion; 50-foot-tall walls of guitar, bonebreaking percussion and touches of piano and shimmering synths combine to form explosive, heart-rending rock that would be fitting as a soundtrack to a movie about a harrowing climb up a blizzard-bound mountain. Tracks such as “Serpent Mound” and “Mother Opiate” stand out on their own, but really, Another Language is an epic that should be listened to from beginning to end. Cymbals Eat Guitars will open. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 10 p.m., $12 in advance, $14 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

Hurray for the Riff Raff

Saturday 3.28

Sturgeon General 20th-Birthday Show An interesting chapter in Utah’s music history is that period of time in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s when Utah County randomly became the birthplace of a vibrant local ska scene. Many ska bands—including acts like Stretch Armstrong and Swim Herschel Swim—came together then, but while a lot of them are now defunct, Sturgeon General stuck around. Now, 20 years later, Sturgeon General are celebrating the fact that, although they apparently can’t do math (the band was on hiatus from about 2003 to 2013, but still somehow racked up birthdays), they can still do the ska. These days, they’ve abandoned the touring life for playing a lot of local shows, and are writing new music—check out Sturgeon General’s newest song, “Hold on Tight,” released in 2014 on the Sounds of »

This Will Destroy You

KARLO X. RAMOS

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36 | MARCH 26, 2015

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

UPCOMING SHOWS FRIDAY, MARCH 27 Doors at 7PM

SALIVA

THURSDAY, APRIL 2 Doors at 7PM

DJ MARSHALL AARON

DJ SKRIBBLE America’s Best DJ

THURSDAY, APRIL 9 Doors at 7PM

FRIDAY, MAY 1 Doors at 7PM

149 Pierpont Ave, SLC | 21+

MARCH 26, 2015 | 37

Get your tickets today!

SKYSLC.COM VIP:801-883-8714 or info@skyslc.com

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PUDDLE OF MUDD W/ Whiskey Fish

FASTER PUSSYCAT W/ Radiata

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EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT

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W/ Texas Hippie Coalition

LIVE

We are proud to be Draper’s first bar/social club.

Come see why we are the best.

MONDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

75 Wings Industry Night

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38 | MARCH 26, 2015

Draper’s First and Finest

APRIL 4TH, 7PM -YK^ YP 7KXc -YVY\] $5 ADVANCE A TRIBUTE TO DOLLY PARTON: STARRING JASON COSMO $10 DAY OF

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Talia Keys & Friends Woodstock Tribute Sodium compilation. To celebrate their sort-of 20th birthday, Sturgeon General are putting on (what else?) a show, with a lineup of California bands Some Kind of Nightmare and Monkey, as well as Ogden hardcore-punk act Draize Method. Bar Deluxe, 666 S. State, 7 p.m., $7, BarDeluxeSLC.com

Sunday 3.29

Talia Keys & Friends Woodstock Tribute The Woodstock Music & Arts Fair happened in Bethel, N.Y., more than 40 years ago, but as it’s often the subject of concerts played in tribute to its legacy, Woodstock is a golden memory that seems like it will never fade away. For this homage, local musician Talia Keys (Marinade, Lady Legs, Gemini Mind) is joining forces with a group of musician friends—from local bands including Stonefed, Candy’s River House and Tony Holiday & the Velvetones—to perform songs by Woodstock acts including Santana, The Grateful Dead, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Janis Joplin, Sly & the Family Stone, The Who, Jefferson Airplane, The Band, Jimi Hendrix and others.

The night will also feature performances by an all-female group as well as various guests, and should be full of nostalgia and ear-catching musical surprises. One-man-band Brian Ernst will open. The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $10 in advance, $12 day of show, TheStateRoom.com

Coming Soon At the Gates, Converge, Pallbearer (April 2, The Complex), Micky & the Motorcars (April 2, O.P. Rockwell, Park City), George Ezra (April 3, The Depot), Yonatan Gat (April 5, Kilby Court), Monophonics (April 6, The Urban Lounge), Punch Brothers (April 6, The Depot), Ratatat (April 6, The Complex), Kiesza, Betty Who (April 7, The Depot)

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MAR 26: 8 PM DOORS

BEACHMEN

MAR 30:

MAR 31: 8 PM DOORS

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MAR 27: 9 PM DOORS

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9 PM DOORS FREE SHOW

GENERATIONALS YIP DECEIVER

Apr 4: Max Pain & The Groovies Return From Tour Apr 6: Monophonics Apr 8: Medusa Collective Apr 9: FREE SHOW Stag Hare Apr 10: Folk Hogan Album Release Apr 11: Electric Wizard Apr 13: Harsh Toke Apr 14: Black Milk Apr 15: FREE SHOW Strange Family Apr 16: The Bee: Dirt Apr 16: DIRT FIRST (LATE) Apr 17: Michal Menert Apr 18: Better Taste Bureau Apr 19: Big Data Apr 20: Peelander-Z Apr 21: Twin Shadow Apr 22: The Soft Moon

9 PM DOORS

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COMING SOON Apr 23: Buku Apr 24: Acid Mother’s Temple Apr 26: Kaleb Kanly Album Release Apr 27: FREE SHOW Starmy Apr 28: Tennis Apr 29: Oddisee Apr 30: FREE SHOW Hip Hop Roots May 2: Strong Words Album Release May 4: Utah Beats Society May 5: Pianos Become Teeth May 6: Young Fathers

May 7: Luke Wade May 10: Dan Deacon May 11: Filibusta May 12: D.O.A. May 13: The Rentals May 17: Jon Spencer Blues Explosion May 18: Local H May 21: Bad Manners May 22: True Widow May 25: FREE SHOW Slow Season May 27: The Mountain Goats May 28: Copeland

MARCH 26, 2015 | 39

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

WITH MATTY MO GORILLA JESUS

8 PM DOORS

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2014

REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND

MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSIONS. FIND OUR FULL LINE UP ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE.

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MAR 28:

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LEOPOLD & HIS FICTION UTAH COUNTY SWILLERS

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SLOW BIRD FRANCISCO THE MAN ARTISTIC VIOLENCE

8 PM DOORS

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Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com

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40 | MARCH 26, 2015

SHOTS IN THE DARK

BY AUSTEN DIAMOND @austendiamond

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MARCH 26, 2015 | 41

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| CITY WEEKLY |

42 | MARCH 26, 2015

T A bHE eer

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Trampled by Turtles Minnesota prog-bluegrass/folk-rock band Trampled by Turtles launched into their NPR Tiny Desk Concert in September 2014 with lightning speed, as they strummed, picked and bowed their stringed instruments so quickly it seemed like smoke should’ve been rising from their fingers. But since forming more than 10 years ago, Trampled by Turtles have proved they’re not limited to one speed or even one genre. As heard on their 2014 album, Wild Animals, all the songs feature their signature percussion-less blend of acoustic instruments—such as guitar, banjo and mandolin—as well as smooth vocal harmonies. But they also show that the band isn’t afraid to slow things down or pull in pop elements and synthesized effects to convey an idea. In this case, guitarist/lead vocalist Dave Simonett was inspired by his recent move from Duluth, Minn., to Minneapolis, which made him feel like he’d lost his connection to nature. If you feel like turning your bluegrass experience into a double feature, check out Yonder Mountain String Band on April 1, same venue.

(Kolbie Stonehocker) Friday, March 27 @ Park City Live, 427 Main, Park City, 9 p.m., $25-$50, ParkCityLive.net

Thursday 3.26

Local Vibes: Kemosabe (Downstairs) Jordan & Tony (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Salt Lake City

Utah County

DJ Infinite Horizon (5 Monkeys) Lyrics Born (Area 51) Yamn, Grand Banks, Lazy Susan, Soft Limbs (Bar Deluxe) Vincent Draper (Bleu Bistro) Karaoke (Bourbon House) Live Band Karaoke With TIYB (Club 90) Diabolical Daze: Father Murphy, Cool Ghouls, Caddywhompus, Native America, Naan Violence, Temples, Greebes (Diabolical Records, see p. 34) New Orleans Jazz Septet With Doc Miller (Dopo) Alan Michael Quintet (Gallivan Center) Jazz Joint Thursday: Mark Chaney and the Garage All Stars (The Garage) Karaoke (Habits) The Steel Belts (Hog Wallow Pub) Beat Connection, ELEL, Shaprece (Kilby Court) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (Liquid Joe’s) Famous Last Words, Tear Out the Heart, For All I Am, Former Tides, Away at Lakeside, Forget the Sunset, Verities (The Loading Dock) Antidote: Hot Noise (The Red Door) Hurray For The Riff Raff, Adia Victoria (The State Room) Public Service Broadcasting, Beachmen (The Urban Lounge, see p. 34) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Weekly Live Reggae Show (The Woodshed)

Ogden

March 27th - 28th

http://www.soundwarehouseutah.com

City Weekly’s Hot List for the Week

Zoran Orlic

WEDNESDAY

COV ER

$

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NO

Alicia Stockman, Thirsty Thursday With DJ Battleship (The Century Club)

Park City Cowboy Karaoke (Cisero’s)

The Awful Truth, Violet Waves, James Allen Spirit, Das Nix (Velour)

Friday 3.27 Salt Lake City

The Stoney Lichens (5 Monkeys) DJ Kronic (Area 51) Madchild (of Swollen Members) (Area 51) Snake Rattle Rattle Snake, No Nation Orchestra Album Release (Bar Deluxe) Paul Boruff (Bleu Bistro) One Way Johnny (Club 90) Diabolical Daze: AMFMS, Accordion Crimes, No Body, Foster Body, Passive Tourist (Diabolical Records) Knight Hawk Karaoke (Do Drop Inn) Cool Jazz Piano Trio With Fred McCray (Dopo) The Nathan Spenser Revue (Fats Grill & Pool) Dark Seas (The Garage) Apres Ski with DJ Gawel, DJ Matty Mo (Gracie’s) DJ Scotty B (Habits) Brian Ernst, Talia Keys (Hog Wallow Pub) Bad Religion, OFF! (In the Venue/Club Sound) The Home Team, The Mailbox Order, My New Mistress, The Last Gatsby (The Loading Dock) The Awful Truth, The Circulars, We are the Willows, David Williams (Kilby Court) Sister Wives (Pat’s Barbecue) DJ Choice (The Red Door) Float the Boat, Static Waves, Shasta & the Second Strings (The Royal) This Will Destroy You, Cymbals Eat Guitars (The Urban Lounge) »

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| CITY WEEKLY |

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44 | MARCH 26, 2015

CONCERTS & CLUBS CHECK OUT PHOTOS FROM...

LASERMANIA 3/18

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net Wild Country (The Westerner) Alien Landslide, Hemaskas Woodshed)

(The

Ogden Badfeather (Brewskis) Folk Hogan (Funk â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;N Dive Bar) Cryptic Wisdom (Kamikazes) Colt 46 (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City Kemosabe (Ciseroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) Shawn Colvin (Egyptian Theatre) Trampled By Turtles (Park City Live) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County The Troubles, Baby Gurl, Die Off (ABGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Desert Noises, Grandparents, Sego (Velour)

Saturday 3.28 Salt Lake City

HAIRSPRAY 3/23

UPCOMING EVENTS: SLC TATTOO WINTER CONVENTION

FARMERS MARKET

Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Play (5 Monkeys) Sturgeon General, Some Kind of Nightmare, Monkey (Bar Deluxe) In Time (Bleu Bistro) One Way Johnny (Club 90) TV On The Radio (The Depot) Bad Alibi (Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Daughter) Knight Hawk Karaoke (Do Drop Inn) Cool Jazz Piano Trio With Stan Seale (Dopo) Tony Holiday With Risinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Sun (Fats Grill & Pool) The Donkeys (The Garage) Chaseone2 (Gracieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Global Deejays, Metal Massacre (In the Venue/Club Sound) From Indian Lakes, The Soil & the Sun, Lemolo, Alarm Call (Kilby Court) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Main Street Revelators (Patâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Barbecue) DJ E-Flexx (Sandy Station) Pertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Near Sandstone (The State Room) DJ Flash & Flare, DJ Matty Mo, Gorilla Jesus (The Urban Lounge) Fictionist, Mount Saint, Two Nations (Velour) Wild Country (The Westerner)

Ogden Who Knows (Funk â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;N Dive Bar) Colt 46 (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City

MARCH 27-29 SALT PALACE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; HALL 5 100 S. WEST TEMPLE

SATURDAY, MARCH 28 10AM-2PM

RIO GRANDE DEPOT 300 S. RIO GRANDE ST.

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Rubblebucket KhXWd Bekd][

D7A7B 17BGE339:GB7F 1=; 4=@ ;=@3 A6=EA 23B/7:A

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Sunday 3.29 Salt Lake City

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

❱ Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports ❰

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

wednesday 3/25 thousands

songs to KARAOKE ofchoose from

Friday 3/27

Liv� Musi�

Float the Boat

Oh be clever Static Waves Shasta & the second strings

Ope� a� 11 for Brunc�

50¢ Wings $ Bloody Marys, bud tallboys,

3 Screwdrivers & Mimosas

every tuesday

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

COMING SOON

4/12

One drop w/funk & Gonzo Herban Empire

420 Party w/ Green Leefs & Afro Omega

5/6

UTAHPIZZAPARTY.COM

Ogden Karaoke Sundays With KJ Sparetire (The Century Club)

Park City Red Cup Party: DJ Matty (Downstairs) Shawn Colvin (Egyptian Theatre) Open Mic (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Mo

Monday 3.30 Salt Lake City Cool Jazz Piano With Doc Miller (Dopo) Monday Night Jazz Session: David Halliday & the Jazz Vespers (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Self Defense Family, Makthaverskan (Kilby Court) Radiator King (Piper Down) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Rubblebucket, Vacationer, L’anarchiste (The Urban Lounge)

Park City

Tuesday 3.31 Salt Lake City Krazy Karaoke (5 Monkeys) Open Mic (Alchemy Coffee)

�n S�� and �eyond A Free Public Event SLC Public Library Main Branch, Auditorium Join us for music and conversation as we explore the political and educational significance of hip-hop with award-winning artist and activist �eorge �ithm �artinez, Pace University professor �hristopher �alone, �� Street �esus, �ig �urna, and more!

Sponsored by the Tanner Humanities Center, the College of Humanities, the Department of Communication, and the College of Fine arts at the University of Utah. It has also received funding from Utah Humanities (UH). UH empowers Utahns to improve their communities through active engagement in the humanities.

MARCH 26, 2015 | 45

Mike Rogers (The Spur Bar & Grill)

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

(LOWER LEVEL ACROSS FROM THE OLYMPIC PLAZA)

| CITY WEEKLY |

4/20

w/ Kettlefish

SATURDAY, APRIL 25, 6-10PM AT THE GATEWAY

4/17

Uta Pi z z h par a ty

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W/Sum Pplzkidz & morgan hays every saturday & Sunday

UTAH PIZZA PARTY!

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Liv� Musi�

Saturday 3/28

AMFMs (Bar Deluxe) Funk & Soul Night With DJ Street Jesus (Bourbon House) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Dark Star Orchestra (The Depot) The Steel Belts (Donkey Tails) The Last Honkytonk Music Series (The Garage) Karaoke Church With DJ Ducky & Mandrew (Jam) Robert Delong, Lynden Williams (Kilby Court, early show) Joey Fatts, A$ton Matthews, Better Taste Bureau, Young Age (Kilby Court, later show) Barrier, Villains, 2X4, Left Behind, The Glass House, Ten Plagues, Amorous (The Loading Dock) Jarabe de Palo, Los Hollywood (Murray Theater) Entourage Karaoke (Piper Down) Talia Keys & Friends Woodstock Tribute: Brian Ernst, Sam Smith, Tony Holiday and More (The State Room) Sunday Funday Karaoke (Three Alarm Saloon) Of Montreal, Generationals, Yip Deceiver (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

IS THROWING THE FIRST ANNUAL

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T N L E O C RDS N I V

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

MASTER MYSTIFIER

Shervin Lainez

NEXT SHOW SATURYDAY MARCH 28 Rubblebucket

THIS SATURDAY! 9PM

GET TICKETS ONLINE @ SANDYSTATION.COM

VINCENTLORDS.COM

21+

PRESENTED BY:

8925 HARRISON ST. 801.255.2078

The Basement Whiskey Series 1/3oz Whiskey Tastings Wednesday April 22th at 6:30pm RUSSELL’S RESERVE 10YR • RANSON HENRY DUYORE ELIJAH CRAIG BARREL PROOF • HIGH WEST CAMPFIRE SUNTORY HAKUSHU 12YR • HUDSON MANHATTAN RYE • THOMAS H HANDY RYE WILLIAM LARUE WELLER • PAPPY VAN WINKLE 20YR

$70/Person, Includes 9 Course Light Apps & Gratuity RSVP to:

info@bourbonhouseslc.com

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | MARCH 26, 2015

CONCERTS & CLUBS

COMEDY HYPNOSIS

Rubble bucket—it’s a can people living in the U.K. put trash into. It’s also a playful indiepop band from Brooklyn, on tour in support of their new album, Survival Sounds, which is light-hearted and almost surf-rocky, but still has some grit. Under the bubbly-as-sodapop melodies, guitarist Ian Hersey plays garage-band power chords and the brass trio play triumphant anthems. If you’re lucky, you may see the cotton-candy-pink insulationtextured mascot of Rubblebucket come on stage, recognizable by its fuzzy belly-button face. Philadelphia band Vacationer and local group L’anarchiste open. (Tiffany Frandsen) Monday, March 30 @ The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $13 in advance, $15 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com, limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com Charlie Parr, Betse Ellis (of The Wilders) (Bar Deluxe) Devil’s Club (Bleu Bistro) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Nights to Remember: DJ Jpan, DJ Bentley (Canyon Inn) Karaoke With KJ Sauce (Club 90) Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter) Brazilian Jazz With Alan Sandomir and Ricardo Romero (Dopo) The Ting Tings (In the Venue/Club Sound) Karaoke (Keys on Main) The Mowgli’s, Hippo Campus (Kilby Court) Open Mic (The Royal) Taboo Tuesday Karaoke (Three Alarm Saloon) Stars, Wild Moccasins (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

Karaoke (Area 51) Andy Grammer, Alex & Sierra, Paradise Fears, Rachel Platten (The Complex) Karaoke Wednesday (Devil’s Daughter) Cool Jazz Piano With Doc Miller (Dopo) DJ Street Jesus (The Green Pig Pub) Gary Stoddard (Hog Wallow Pub) Wednesduhh! Karaoke (Jam) Jeff Rosenstock, Gymshorts (Kilby Court) Open Mic (Liquid Joe’s) Entourage Karaoke (Piper Down) Karaoke (The Royal) Joe Pug (The State Room) The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, Leopold & His Fiction, Utah County Swillers (The Urban Lounge) DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge) Jam Night Featuring Dead Lake Trio (The Woodshed)

Ogden

Karaoke (The Century Club) Karaoke (Funk ‘N Dive Bar) Karaoke (Outlaw Saloon)

Karaoke (Brewskis)

Park City DJ Stereo Sparks (Cisero’s)

Park City

Utah County

Open Mic (Cisero’s) Miss DJ Lux (Downstairs) Colin Hay (O.P. Rockwell) Yonder Mountain String Band, Ben Sollee (Park City Live) Cowboy Karaoke (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Grover Anderson (The Spur Bar & Grill) Open Mic (Velour) Open Mic (The Wall)

Wednesday 4.1 Salt Lake City 19 east 200 south | bourbonhouseslc.com

Ogden

Karaoke With Steve-O (5 Monkeys)

Utah County Karaoke (The Wall)

CHECK US

FIRST! Special Limited Quantity

cityweeklytix.com CITY WEEKLY

Bar exam

NO C

OV E R EVER!

Campfire Lounge is perhaps best known for camping-themed fare, including variations on cherished campfire delicacies such as tots, s’mores, wieners and hobo dinners, but the real reason to go is for the patio. Getting better by the minute, the large patio has plenty of shade and cooling misters during the hot summer, and three fire pits and heaters during the chillier times of the year—and it’s dog-friendly.

837 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-4673325,CampfireLounge.com

COUCHES

WILDCAT STRIKE + H. GRIMACE + BEACHMEN + 90’S TELEVISION

YAMN

SOFT LIMBS + LAZY SUSAN

FRI 3.27:

NONATION ORCHESTRA COIL

2750 SOUTH 300 WEST (801) 467- 4600 11:30-1AM MON-SAT · 11:30AM-10PM SUN

EP RELEASE SHOW W/ SNAKE RATTLE RATTLE SNAKE +

GRASS + BOYFRNDZ FUTURE DEATH + WEARING THIN

SAT 3.28:

STURGEON GENERAL’S

20TH BIRTHDAY SHOW W/ MONKEY + SOME KIND OF NIGHTMARE + DRAIZE METHOD

SUN 3.29:

AMFMS

MANAERO + DRONE

TUES 3.31:

CHARLIE PARR

@

BETSE ELLIS(OF THE WILDERS) COMING UP

APRIL 2ND: SCALAFREA APRIL 17TH: MR GNOME APRIL 22ND: SHY GIRLS MAY 6TH: SOLSTAFIR JUNE 15TH: ELECTRIC SIX

CityWe�kly

WWW.BARDELUXESLC.COM

OPEN MON-SAT 6PM-1AM 668 South State - 801.532.2914

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

The Green Pig Pub

THE LAST SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN Capital Theatre April 13rd

With live music, trivia nights and amazing breakfast buffets, not to mention the stellar atmosphere and killer menu, The Green Pig Pub has everything you could want from a bar. Since its opening in 2006, The Green Pig Pub has been one of the most popular bars in Salt Lake City. 31 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, 801-532-7441,TheGreenPigPub.com O’Shucks

MR. PERFECT

Your source for Art & Entertainment Tickets

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

MARCH 26, 2015 | 47

Salt Lake Acting Company April 19th

Just a long ball away from Smith’s Ballpark, Duffy’s is a mecca for devotees of the diamond. Pregame here as the Bees take BP, then return to soothe your heckle-weary throat with an icy postgame brew. Even after the boys of summer go into hibernation, Duffy’s is an idyllic neighborhood sports bar, with charming staff, cozy booths, a big-screen TV, pool tables and a menu that includes 18 generously filled sandwiches.

932 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-6401

CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

| CITY WEEKLY |

Duffy’s Tavern

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED

This windowless hole-in-the-beautiful-brick-wall is everything an underground sushi bar should be: inexpensive, unassuming and chock-full of regulars. A self-proclaimed peanut bar, O’Shucks makes the legumes readily available to its customers—but don’t worry about making a mess with your shells, that’s part of the charm.

Specials on Tuesdays and Wednesdays keep the locals loyal and also bring in a college crowd. 22 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-596-8600

| cityweekly.net |

This cozy, friendly LGBT-owned & operated social club is all sparkly, remodeled and under new management. A spacious patio and two bars accommodate weekend crowds, but a friendly group of regulars is sure to greet you any day of the week. Johnny Disco’s bloody marys are a surefire cure for what ails you, and co-owner/manager Frank Chugg slings a midweek mind eraser you wouldn’t believe. There are also dart tournaments on Fridays and karaoke on Mondays.

102 S. 600 West, Salt Lake City, 385-2356786, SunTrapp.com

WED 3.25:

THURS 3.26:

Explore the latest in Utah’s nightlife scene, from dives to dance clubs and sports bars to cocktail lounges.

Send tips & updates to comments@cityweekly.net

The Sun Trapp

MANHATTAN TRINITY Capital Theatre March 30th

DA I LY L U N C H S P E C I A L S POOL, FOOSBALL & GAMES

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Campfire Lounge

LOW OR NO SERVICE FEES!

A RELAXED GENTLEMAN’S CLUB

VENUE DIRECTORY

48 | MARCH 26, 2015

| CITY WEEKLY |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

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live music & karaoke

now

! g n i r i h

& INSIDE S! SITION ve O P S E L SA nd creati UTSIDE tivated a

O

mo eferred. king for o lo e r rience pr a e p x We e s n digital perso arket or m l a c lo s. ge of ities a plu n tu r Knowled o p p o ume to: Email res ET

ITYW PETE@C

EEKLY.N

5 MONKEYS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801266-1885, Karaoke, Free pool, Live music A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, Trivia Tues., DJ Wed., Karaoke Thurs.

A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, Karaoke Tues.

ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, Live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-990-0692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-534-0819, Karaoke Wed., ‘80s Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. BAR DELUXE 666 S. State, SLC, 801-5322914, Live music & DJs THE BAR IN SUGARHOUSE 2168 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-485-1232 BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BATTERS UP 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-4634996, Karaoke Tues., Live music Sat. THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-9618400, Live music Fri. & Sat. BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801746-1005, Local jazz jam Tues., Karaoke Thurs., Live music Sat., Funk & soul night Sun. BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-3941713, Live music CANYON INN 3700 E. Fort Union, SLC, 801943-6969, DJs CAROL’S COVE II 3424 S. State, SLC, 801466-2683, Karaoke Thurs., DJs & Live music Fri. & Sat. The Century CLUB 315 24th St., Ogden, 801-781-5005, DJs, Live music CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801575-6400 CHEERS TO YOU Midvale 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871 CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-5315400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-649-5044, Karaoke Thurs., Live music & DJs CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-5663254, Trivia Mon., Poker Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat., Live bluegrass Sun. CLUB DJ’S 3849 W. 5400 South, Murray, 801964-8575, Karaoke Tues., Thurs. & Sun., Free pool Wed. & Sun., DJ Fri. & Sat. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-364-3203, Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. club x 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-9354267, DJs, Live music THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801528-9197, Live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, Free pool Wed. & Thurs., Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-2612337, Live music THE DEERHUNTER PUB 2000 N. 300 West, Spanish Fork, 801-798-8582, Live music Fri. & Sat. THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801355-5522, Live music

DEVIL’S DAUGHTER 533 S. 500 West, SLC, 801-532-1610, Karaoke Wed., Live music Fri. & Sat. DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134. Karaoke Wed.; Live music Tues., Thurs. & Fri; Live DJ Sat. Dopo 200 S. 400 West, 801-456-5299, Live jazz DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435226-5340, Live music, DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 The Fallout 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801953-6374, Live music FAT’S GRILL 2182 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-9467, Live music THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-250-1970, Karaoke Thurs.

FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, Trivia Tues., Live music Fri. & Sat. FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, Karaoke, Live music FUNK ’N DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, Live music, Karaoke THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-5213904, Live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-8197565, Live music, DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, Live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, Live music Thurs.-Sat. HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-2682228, Poker Mon., Ladies night Tues., ’80s night Wed., Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, Karaoke THE HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, Live music The HOTEL/Club ELEVATE 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-9665, Reggae Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, Live music & DJs JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, Karaoke Tues., Wed. & Sun.; DJs Thurs.-Sat. JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tues. & Fri., Karaoke Wed., Live music Sat. KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-3633638, Karaoke Tues. & Wed., Dueling pianos Thurs.-Sat. KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, Live music, all ages KRISTAUF’S 16 W. Market St., SLC, 801-9431696, DJ Fri. & Sat. THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801467-5637, Live music Tues.-Sat. The Loading Dock 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, Live music, all ages LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801-4874418, Trivia Wed.

LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-938-3070 LUMPY’S HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON/THE COWBOY 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, Live music, DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 9 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-328-0304, Poker Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. METRO BAR 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801652-6543, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 The Office 122 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801883-8838 O.P. ROCKWELL 268 Main, Park City, 435615-7000, Live music PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, Live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, Live music Thurs.-Sat., All ages The penalty box 3 W. 4800 South, Murray, 801-590-9316, Karaoke Tues., Live Music, DJs PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-4681492, Poker Mon., Acoustic Tues., Trivia Wed., Bingo Thurs.

POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, Live music Thurs.-Sat. THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801363-6030, DJs Fri., Live jazz Sat. THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801590-9940, Live music SANDY STATION 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, DJs SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801604-0869 SKY 149 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-8838714, Live music THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, Live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800501-2885, Live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, Live music, All ages SUGARHOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 The Sun Trapp 102 S. 600 West, SLC, 385-235-6786 THE TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Dueling pianos Wed.-Sat., Karaoke Sun.-Tues.

TIN ANGEL CAFE 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, Live music THE URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, Live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801818-2263, Live music, All ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801-5312107, DJs Thurs.-Sat. THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, Live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760-828-7351, Trivia Wed., Karaoke Fri.-Sun., Live music THE WOODSHED 60 E. 800 South, SLC, 801-364-0805, Karaoke Sun. & Tues., Open jam Wed., Reggae Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat. ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

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March 26, 2015 | 49

CityWeekly

| CITY WEEKLY • ADULT |

@

anonymously Confess your

© 2015

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Across

1. How a rose by any other name would smell, per Juliet 2. Thin layers 3. Indentation between the upper lip and the nose

47. Sandra Day O’Connor’s birthplace 48. 2000 Flushes rival 51. Tourney round 53. Philosopher for whom a logical “razor” was named 54. You be the Judd 55. Field yields 57. “What ____ ever do to you?”

58. Convene 61. Quiet ending?

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Down

4. Berry with an Oscar 5. “The results ____!”

6. 1981 assassination victim 7. Ladies 8. Bolivian president Morales 9. Juiced (up) 10. Show off a new skirt, say 11. “Mi casa ____ casa” 12. Made a person write “LOL!” 13. Zodiac sign 14. Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, notably 22. “Hostess with the mostest” socialite Perle 24. They symbolize toughness 26. Graffitist, e.g.

30. “Heart of Darkness” author 31. Calendar abbr.

33. Knock back, say 34. Hosp. scan 35. Half of a music genre 37. What the NBA’s 6’ 9’’ Kris Humphries can say he has held 38. MCL + MCL 39. 1963 NFL MVP 43. More openly emotional 44. They do as they’re told 45. Morphine, e.g.

46. Comment when making a pass to a woman?

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Leaders of the pack 7. “Beau ____” 12. Sit in a wine cellar 15. It includes parts of Sudan but not South Sudan 16. Openly declares 17. Guat. neighbor 18. Prepared to be shot?

19. C.K. on TV 20. The “him” in “Kill him!” in “Casey at the Bat” 21. Robin nominated for an Emmy for his role in 36-Across 23. Historic realm that becomes a modern nation when its first letter is removed 25. Diplomat’s victory 26. Speed: Abbr.

27. Pup ____ 28. Hearing aid 29. Whole bunch 31. Masters of film 32. German: Abbr.

34. School recalled in Orwell’s “Such, Such Were the Joys” 35. Auburn, e.g.

36. TV sitcom starring 21-Across or 58-Across (!)

40. Each of the Oinker Sisters on “Sesame Street” 41. Accelerate, with “up” 42. Starch-yielding palm 45. 1300 48. Rash soother 49. It may have clawed feet 50. Ask around 51. Barrett of Pink Floyd 52. Unloquacious 56. Barred 58. Melissa who won an Emmy for her role in 36-Across 59. Major minor league 60. Permeate 62. Hasbro game with plastic antennae 63. Univ. figures 64. Part of LED 65. More plentiful 66. My Chemical Romance genre 67. Transatlantic flight sight 68. Scrooges

SUDOKU

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| CITY WEEKLY |

50 | MARCH 26, 2015

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

Daniel Gentry

#CWCOMMUNITY

community

beat

send leads to

community@cityweekly.net

THE PERFECT DAY

INSIDE / COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 51 Poet’s Corner PG. 52 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 53 URBAN LIVING PG. 54 SLC CONFESSIONS PG. 55

I took up golf only recently. I live so close to Mick Riley Golf Course that getting up in the morning to hit a bucket has become a thing for me. Last weekend, I finally bit the bullet and bought my f irst set of irons—last-season’s model Calloways at a significant cost savings.

Still, they’re mine.

We have it pretty good here, though many fail realize it. Hence, the Perfect Day of both snow and sun activities.

Traffic and distance prohibit many other destination cities from making such a claim. For me, that will be this Sunday when I ride Brighton one last time this season, then head over to Mick Riley on the way home to break in my new clubs.

Seriously, where else in the world is that possible?

Follow my adventures on Instagram and Twitter @petesaltas. n

| cityweekly.net |

Transition season (Utah’s unofficial fifth season) can be a little trick y to navigate. Is it going to rain, snow, or will it be a sunny 72 degrees outside? Luckily for outdoor enthusiasts, it doesn’t matter one bit. There are still trails to hike, slopes to shred, and golf balls to be driven before spring truly kicks in.

Though not much of a regular hiker myself, I did enjoy my trips up A ngel’s Landing, the Living Room and Bells Canyon. They were especially exhilarating considering my 265-pound self was fairly pessimistic before each hike. I made it to the top where I smiled, laughed and nearly cried, as I wanted to roll back down. Plain and simple, I’m just not built for it.

But I did enjoy the challenge!

That’s the reason I enjoy snowboarding so much. It’s a time I can move faster than ever—and down a mountain, no less! With my frame, gravity does the brunt of the work. But I pick up steam like it’s nobody’s business. Falling sucks, so I’ve learned to do that as infrequently as possible. My favorite place to ride is the place I learned: Brighton. Until Brighton’s April 19 closure, it is offering a $20 night-riding pass. I’m looking for ward to hitting that up as much as possible.

| COMMUNITY |

MARCH 26, 2015 | 51

| cityweekly.net |

I Dream Of Words

I dream of words whispered in my ear, harmonies that will make my soul voyage to a place I once knew well.

A dwelling I covet. Living in a city of disquiet, a strung out, compulsive borough with words harsh and intangible holds no revelry for me.

Solace is held within a separate province, closed off by doors through which only lovers may pass, to gain entrance in the world which I will someday hold residence.

Celeste Nelson

Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

52 | MARCH 26, 2015

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Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The term “jumped the shark” often refers to a TV show that was once great but gradually grew stale, and then resorted to implausible plot twists in a desperate attempt to revive its creative verve. I’m a little worried that you may do the equivalent of jumping the shark in your own sphere. April fool! I lied. I’m not at all worried that you’ll jump the shark. It’s true that you did go through a stagnant, meandering phase there for a short time. But you responded by getting fierce and fertile rather than stuck and contrived. Am I right? And now you’re on the verge of breaking out in a surge of just-the-right-kind-of-craziness.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Give yourself obsessively to your most intimate relationships.

Don’t bother cleaning your house. Call in sick to your job. Ignore all your nagging little errands. Now is a time for one task only: paying maximum attention to those you care about most. Heal any rifts between you. Work harder to give them what they need. Listen to them with more empathy than ever before. April fool! I went a bit overboard there. It’s true that you’re in a phase when big rewards can come from cultivating and enhancing togetherness. But if you want to serve your best relationships, you must also take very good care of yourself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) If you happen to be singing lead vocals in an Ozzy Osbourne cover band, and someone in the audience throws what you think is a toy rubber animal up on stage, DO NOT rambunctiously bite its head off to entertain everyone. It most likely won’t be a toy, but rather an actual critter. April fool! In fact, it’s not likely you’ll be fronting an Ozzy Osbourne cover band any time soon. But I hope you will avoid having to learn a lesson similar to the one that Ozzy did during a show back in 1982, when he bit into a real bat—a small flying mammal with webbed wings—thinking it was a toy. Don’t make a mistake like that. What you think is fake or pretend may turn out to be authentic.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) It’s after midnight. You’re half-wasted, cruising around town looking for wicked fun. You stumble upon a warehouse laboratory where zombie bankers and military scientists are creating genetically engineered monsters from the DNA of scorpions, Venus flytraps, and Monsanto executives. You try to get everyone in a party mood, but all they want to do is extract your DNA and add it to the monster. April fool! Everything I just said was a lie. I doubt you’ll encounter any scenario that extreme. But you are at risk for falling into weird situations that could compromise your mental hygiene. To minimize that possibility, make sure that the wicked fun you pursue is healthy, sane wicked fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Annie Edson Taylor needed money. She was 63 years old, and didn’t have any savings. She came up with a plan: to be the first person to tuck herself inside a barrel and ride over Niagara Falls.

(This was back in 1901.) She reasoned that her stunt would make her wealthy as she toured the country speaking about it. I recommend that you consider out-of-the-box ideas like hers, Pisces. It’s an excellent time to get extra creative in your approach to raising revenue. April fool! I half-lied. It’s true that now is a favorable time to be imaginative about your financial life. But don’t try outlandish escapades like hers.

MARCH 26, 2015 | 53

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) No matter what gender you are, it’s an excellent time to get a gig as a stripper. Your instinct for removing your clothes in entertaining ways is at a peak. Even if you have never been trained in the art, I bet you’ll have an instinctive knack. April fool! I lied. I don’t really think you should be a stripper. But I do recommend you experiment with a more metaphorical version of that art. For instance, you could expose hidden agendas that are causing distortions and confusion. You could peel away the layers of deception and propaganda that hide the naked facts and the beautiful truth.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Some Aquarian readers have been complaining. They want me to use more celebrity references in my horoscopes. They demand fewer metaphors drawn from literature, art, and science, and more metaphors rooted in gossipy events reported on by tabloids. “Tell me how Kanye West’s recent travails relate to my personal destiny,” wrote one Aquarius. So here’s a sop to you kvetchers: The current planetary omens say it’s in your interest to be more like Taylor Swift and less like Miley Cyrus. Be peppy, shimmery, and breezy, not earthy, salty, and raucous. April fool!

In truth, I wouldn’t write about celebrities’ antics if you paid me.

Besides, for the time being, Miley Cyrus is a better role model for you than Taylor Swift.

| COMMUNITY |

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “The national anthem of Hell must be the old Frank Sinatra song ‘I Did It My Way,’” declares Richard Wagner, author of the book Christianity for Dummies. “Selfish pride is Hell’s most common trait,” he adds. “Hell’s inhabitants have a sense of satisfaction that they can at least say ‘they’ve been true to themselves.’”

Heed this warning, Leo. Tame your lust for self-expression.

April fool! I was making a little joke. The truth is not as simplistic as I implied. I actually think it’s important for you to be able to declare “I did it my way” and “I’ve been true to myself.” But for best results, do it in ways that aren’t selfish, insensitive, or arrogant.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “The past is not only another country where they do things differently,” says writer Theodore Dalrymple, “but also where one was oneself a different person.” With this as your theme, Capricorn, I invite you to spend a lot of time visiting the Old You in the Old World. Immerse yourself in that person and that place.

Get lost there. And don’t come back until you’ve relived at least a thousand memories. April fool! I was exaggerating. While it is a good time to get reacquainted with the old days and old ways, I don’t recommend that you get utterly consumed by the past.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Novelist L. Frank Baum created the make-believe realm known as Oz. Lewis Carroll conjured up Wonderland and C. S. Lewis invented Narnia. Now you are primed to dream up your own fantasy land and live there full-time, forever protected from the confusion and malaise of the profane world. Have fun in your imaginary utopia, Cancerian! April fool! I half-lied. It’s true that now would be a good time to give extra attention to cultivating vivid visions of your perfect life. But I wouldn’t recommend that you live there full-time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) If you were a ladybug beetle, you might be ready and eager to have sex for nine hours straight. If you were a pig, you’d be capable of enjoying 30-minute orgasms. If you were a dolphin, you’d seek out erotic encounters not just with other dolphins of both genders, but also with turtles, seals, and sharks. Since you are merely human, however, your urges will probably be milder and more containable. April fool! In truth, Sagittarius, I’m not so sure your urges will be milder and more containable.

| cityweekly.net |

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In the spring of 1754, Benjamin Franklin visited friends in Maryland. While out riding horses, they spied a small tornado whirling through a meadow. Although Franklin had written about this weather phenomenon, he had never seen it. With boyish curiosity, he sped toward it. At one point, he caught up to it and lashed it with his whip to see if it would dissipate. This is the kind of adventure I advise you to seek out, Gemini. April fool! I half-lied. I don’t really believe you should endanger your safety by engaging in stunts like chasing tornadoes. But I do think that now is a favorable time to seek out daring exploits that quench your urge to learn.

| cityweekly.net |

| COMMUNITY |

54 | MARCH 26, 2015

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Since global warming appears to have landed in Utah this spring of 2015, we are going to have to get used to changes. The fruit growers statewide are pretty much crapping their pants right now because the freaky warm spring is causing things like apricot and peach trees to be in full bloom a month too early. One dip into the low twenties and orchards will lose virtually any possibility of bringing profits this year.

My wife has noticed the early spring. She has a perpetual surprised look on her face, indicating she’s ready to sneeze into her bent arm at any moment. I feel for her. When I moved to Utah, I was allergic to every growing thing in the state. I had allergy tests and weekly allergy shots for a year. She had the test too after moving here for love, and she found out there were at least 10 plants here she didn’t react to before when she lived in Oregon. The worst reaction she had was to the pollen of Russian olive trees. Her allergist advised her not to get shots until she acclimated to the plants and seasons here.

Have you seen magnification of pollen parts before? Holy hell, they look like spikey evil Goat Head sticker plants or micro-satellites with razor sharp appendages. Would you know it but pollen is the MALE fertilizing aspect of plants. Some plants have insects pick up the pollen while others let the wind carry the evil dudes to impregnate plants all helter skelter. Our noses inhale the sharp pollen particles and they then impale themselves on our sinuses to cause nonconsensual pain and suffering. Our noses run as a biological reaction to try and wash out the balls of misery and we sneeze to let high force nasal winds attempt to blow them back to where they came from.

Alas, trees are pollinating now and will continue until Memorial Day. Then the wild grasses and lawn grasses will follow until Days-O-47-ish and then the weeds take over until the first hard frost happens.

Cottonwoods, cedars/junipers, willows, elm, oak, ash, birch and Russian olives are sending their love to all sufferers right now.

When it’s windy the pollen gets stirred up even more and the Kleenex manufacturer gets even happier. Homeowners along the Wasatch front and in Cache Valley have been adding air filtration systems to their furnaces to strain out the pollutants in our air during winter inversions. These devices also will help purify the air inside your house from mold/ mildew, bacteria, pet dander and many pollens the rest of the year. Call your local HVAC service provider and get a bid to add one to your home. Some of them are even good for the environment by not contributing to pollute the ozone by using coconut husk filters-cool, huh? ​n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

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 I sneak into my roommates room at night and pour water on his crothch so he thinks he’s wetting the bed. It’s so fun to see his face when I ask why he washes his sheets so much.

| COMMUNITY |

 I had a friend who thrived on believing that everyone thought she was the sweetest woman on earth - but she’s a vapid and self absorbed monster. I ousted her from my life, and now it’s messing with her head that I won’t be her friend. She keeps trying to text/ facebook/instagram me and kiss my ass, and I revel in watching her suffer over the fact that somebody out there hates her.

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 I broke up with a guy when I was 23 because he still lived at home and was a waiter with no prospects. I still check in on him from time to time, and nothing has changed at all.

I am now 31 and married. I don’t do it because I secretly still love him or something, I do it to say to myself, “I was right.”

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