City Weekly October 10, 2024

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CITY WEEKLY

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On Repeat

Donald Trump returned to Butler, Pennsylvania, on October 5, 2024, and Benjamin Netanyahu returned figuratively to Auschwitz, Germany, on October 7, 2024. Each one reveled politically in what they say are the deeply felt, recurring miseries of their people.

Donald Trump’s people have been trained to believe the 2020 election was stolen from them and that today it is happening again. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s people have been trained to believe that the “Never Again” holocaust recently happened to them all over again.

Both claims wither under even the most pedestrian kind of examination. Massive evidence exists that the opposite of Donald Trump’s claim actually happened in America—Donald Trump stole the 2016 election from Hillary Clinton by covering up his affair with porn star Stormy Daniels. He tried to steal it again in 2020 from Joe Biden.

The real holocaust that happened after October 7, 2023, has been Netanyahu’s propaganda-supported slaughter of Muslim civilians in Gaza and now in Lebanon. Some 1,200 Israelis died in October 2023, but since then, more than 40,000 Palestinians have died in the disproportionate recriminations that followed. Do the math, people.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY

Woods Cross

All Talk

Donald Trump has been critical, as usual, about President Joe Biden not spending enough money on the damage of Hurricane Helene and spending too much money on the problems of immigration.

First, Trump killed the deal between the Blue and Red on the improvement of the border situation. Second, what about the $138,000 dollars and the 308 days Trump spent playing golf during his four-year tenure?

Maybe he should pay back the golf bill that the American public paid for and donate it to the victims of Hurricane Helene. He is always bragging about how much money he is worth, why doesn’t he put his money where his big mouth is?

BARRY HECKER

Salt Lake City

Liz

Liz Cheney, oh my oh my, what have we here,

A courageous woman who has no fear.

Her politic peers genuflect to their “orange Jesus”, She, a staunch defender of the democratic process.

A powerful leader of her political party, Lost her positions defending our liberty. So easy to acquiesce to one’s self-interest, But not this woman who co-chaired the riot inquest.

Sharply agree or disagree with her missions, But her integrity allows no seditions.

Liz challenges fake conspiracies to our freedom, Which wanton authority leads to serfdom.

Whether you love to hate or hate to love her, Liz’s love of “freedom” harbors no idolater.

GEORGE KIBILDIS

Sparta, New Jersey

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

Where’s the scariest place you’ve been.

Scott Renshaw

Easy: Driving through central Utah during a blizzard around 10 yeas ago. I’m convinced that there is still residual whiteness in my knuckles exclusively from that multi-hour ordeal.

Benjamin Wood

The suburbs of Salt Lake City. Mile after mile of identical, cookie-cutter homes and not a single person in sight. Absolutely terrifying—I don’t understand how people live like that.

Eric Granato

It is a toss-up between the Motel 6 on 600 s. 200 West. or driving downtown during conference weekend.

Chelsea Neider

Brazil’s Favelas, or parts of Cairo, Egypt. Lots of crime and different dangers we aren’t used to.

Paula Saltas

Driving on I-15 lately. It has tripled in congestion and road ragers in the last few years.

Wes Long

There was a house I encountered as a missionary in Los Angeles that gave off truly malevolent vibes. We opted not to enter, despite an invitation to do so, but that was the only time I felt truly scared. That and the years we lived in UT County.

PRIVATE EYE

Ouzo Time

Well, September sure came and left. I’ve just now returned stateside, after a month of drinking ouzo and beer visiting from one side of Greece (Olympia, plus the islands of Cephalonia and Lefkada) to the next (the islands of Tinos, Syros and Naxos).

About 60 great folks (split into two overlapping groups in Athens) came along for the annual City Weekly Trip to Greece. In truth, I drank more than ouzo and beer, sometimes opting for wine or a delicious craft cocktail.

Athens is home to several clubs that have been named in the Top 10 cocktail bars in the world. Have you ever been to The Clumsies or Baba au Rum? Well, you should. The first was a pioneer in the craft cocktail arena and even serves a drink called the “Greek Salad,” which by damn does indeed taste like a Greek Salad. And the latter must have hundreds of rum varieties available.

I never drank rum unless it was stupid night. But, to have a rum cocktail served up at Baba au Rum? Well, I gotta admit my mind has been altered, a revelation you might say.

And that says nothing for other beautiful and distinctive bars in Athens like the Juan Rodriquez, 7 Jokers, En Aithria, S.I.X. Dogs and the crazy cool antique drinkery, Brettos. There are so many to choose from, and each is basically a work of art. Email me and join us sometime to see for yourself.

Among my rituals for a Greece visit is the near-virtual tune out of all news. I never watch TV (except late night pirated University of Utah football games) and I avoid news-

papers. It’s hard to lose complete touch with all things thanks to social media, but by and large I limit that, too.

An exception this year was that, despite how much ouzo, beer, wine or cocktails I had, I kept circling back to whatever stupid comments were being uttered by Utah’s favorite Trump pets, Sen. Mike Lee and Gov. Spencer J. Cox. As you know, Trump famously has no real pets, so he kicks human beings around instead. They seem to like it.

So it was last Tuesday, while putzing around Athens on our final day when, lo, Mike Lee proclaimed on a Tucker Carlson podcast his latest dumb theory about global warming and climate change. For those with longish memories, recall that in 2019, prior to Lee completely losing his mind and handing both hair follicles and brain cells over to Trump Laboratories, he said that the solution to climate change was not only to deny it, but to save the planet by having more children. I didn’t then, and I do not now, get the connection.

What he said, in response to the Satan Devil Democrats discussing the Green New Deal was: “The solution to climate change is not this un-serious resolution that we’re considering this week in the Senate, but rather the serious business of human flourishing. The solution to many of our problems, at all times and in all places is to fall in love, get married and have some kids.”

And they say down at BYU that ouzo kills brain cells?

That was back in Lee’s lucid phase. Last week, in his classically ambiguous way, Lee told Tucker Carlson that “someone” had sent him “some pictures” of “some Roman baths” that were located “somewhere along the coast in Europe” that are at the same distance to the sea now as they were during the days of the Roman Empire. Because that is the case, reasoned Lee, it is solid evidence that the seas are not rising and all this global warming, climate change nonsense is just fiction.

As luck would have it, when I saw that “news” I was at a vantage point in Athens that overlooks the Ancient Ro-

man Agora, wherein sits “some Roman baths,” but which are better known as “shitters” down in Fairview where Spencer J. Cox lives. To be fair, they are not near the sea, therefore in this case, not a reliable comparison.

However, just to the north of Athens is Thermopylae, where the 300 Spartans died fighting the Persians. History tells us that battle was in a narrow passage between the mountains and the sea. Now the sea is about a mile away. Just east of Athens is a partially submerged city near the famous Poseidon’s Temple at Cape Sounion. Farther south is Pavlopetri, a fully submerged ancient city, shitters and all.

The point is, Lee again doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but as a dutiful born and bred Utahn, he cannot help himself but to jump to stupid conclusions about something he knows nothing about—in this case not only climate change, but also why and how sea levels fluctuate. He just talks and people are awed.

I am not awed by Lee’s words any more than I was awed by Edgar Bergen’s Charlie McCarthy. Lee is just a puppet after all.

Still, there’s time between ouzos today to help Mr. Lee and other BYU science majors. Take a look at that big white “Y” on the hillside above the BYU campus. See those lines running along the foothills? If you can’t see them, look harder or come up here to Salt Lake Valley where they are easier to view. Anyway, those lines were once the various shorelines of the fluctuating levels of ancient Lake Bonneville.

If Lee went up there, he might find evidence of ancient transgender restrooms left by Utah’s original inhabitants. They are no longer at lake level because there is no lake. Why? Well, it isn’t due to not having enough babies. If he had a personality, I’d invite Lee out for an ouzo. He’s gonna need it. CW

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

HITS & MISSES

MISS: Paying Up

The High Life

Idid

not make the decision to move into a high-rise lightly. I was worried about all sorts of things: not being able to park just outside my door; not having an enclosed, exclusive backyard; the feeling like we would be living on top of each other; noise from neighbors; not having enough storage space; and the list went on.

Utahns are all about health and welfare—as long as it doesn’t take money. That is the disconnect shown in a new Utah Foundation survey. “60% of respondents support strengthening environmental regulations in the U.S., and over 75% indicated that protecting the environment should be more important than economic growth.” And yet, ask people what they’re willing to pay for. How about a 5% improvement in air quality if it means taxes or cost of goods go up 5%? Nope. No surprise, the more conservative someone is, the less likely they’ll want to fund their own welfare. Only 37% of Utahns were willing to pay more—almost half were a definite “no.” Maybe people just think air is free, but Chinese studies show that people migrate to places with cleaner air, so they are willing to pay indirectly. The problem may be less partisan and more educational. Understanding the downside of dirty air can change minds—and, obviously, health.

MISS: Bump, Set, Spike

Fear of the unknown or misunderstood is perhaps Utah’s greatest legislative motivator, and we’re still whipping up suspicion and animus. Our sweet, vulnerable volleyball players will not go head-to-head with San Jose State University because—gasp—the team may have a “man.” Utah State University joined Southern Utah University, Boise State University and the University of Wyoming in righteous indignation over Blaire Fleming’s existence. Never mind that USU has won three of four games against San Jose featuring Fleming, according to Utah Public Radio. As if it isn’t enough that government has become an abortion hunter, it is now passing laws to check girls’ hormone levels and banning anything transgender. The New York Times calls it “unhinged hysteria”: “A recent Pew Research survey found that fewer than 0.6 percent of American adults say they’re transgender.” Their personal and professional struggles are real. Our lawmakers prefer to think of it as a threatening abomination.

HIT: Virtue Signaling

This year was definitely a different kind of LDS General Conference. Beside the fact that it wasn’t rainy and gloomy, a small group of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are calling out Trump voters—and saying “don’t.” Maybe you don’t know all the Mormon scriptures, but here’s one they point to, in Doctrine and Covenants 98, a Salt Lake Tribune story says: “Honest men [and women] and wise men [and women] should be sought for diligently, and good men [and women] and wise men [and women] ye should observe to uphold … I give unto you a commandment, that ye shall forsake all evil and cleave unto all good.” What that means is that Donald Trump is unfit for office, that he fails the character test and that Utah Republicans need to see this as a come-to-Jesus moment. They even have an online petition going—“LDS Opposed to Trump.” In about a month, we’ll see if Utahns can wrest themselves from the electoral “R.” CW

Thankfully, I was purchasing from a friend who first let me rent for six months to ensure it worked for our family. The truth was, within a week we knew—condo life was for us.

Some quick details: our family is me and two small kiddos; our place is an efficient 1,300 square feet with one bedroom, a den we’ve treated like a second bedroom (with bunk beds) and a sunroom that has served as guest room for hundreds of friends using our place as a downtown basecamp. We have an en suite master bathroom and guest half-bathroom. In other words, our place is not big.

In preparing to write this column, I found myself repeatedly tempted to talk about all the great neighborhood amenities—like the Gallivan Center, the surprising amount of green space nearby, the grocery store within walking distance, etc. And I think that reveals something really important: we did not buy the condo for the condo itself, we bought the condo to be outside the condo—at Pioneer Park, at Abravanel Hall, at a Jazz game, getting breakfast at Eva’s Bakery or eating dinner on the charming Blue Iguana patio.

We also ski a lot and love to road trip, camp and hike. A surprising bonus to living in a high-rise is that there is no yardwork or major house projects to consume your weekend. Living in a high-rise, we now spend more time in nature than we did when we had a home at the mouth of Parley’s Canyon!

Some other pleasant surprises: my children are always within the sound of my voice—no need to yell—and that feels right. Also, there is something so nice about the economy of space. Nothing is ever too far or too buried. Minimal storage forces you to jettison the things that you will truly never use.

The parking issue resolved itself when we ditched the car (more on that in a future column). The noise issue is super manageable and we’ve come to really enjoy the hum of the city. We have several backyards (aka parks) and the fact that they aren’t exclusive has helped prevent me from becoming the helicopter parent my kids don’t need (more on that in the future as well).

In short, the condo is just the home base our active family needed. CW

Big Shiny Robot

Witching Hours

Agatha All Along reminds us that we need more stories of powerful, magical women.

Marvel’s new Disney+ series, Agatha All Along, takes the lead villain from their critically acclaimed show WandaVision and puts her in her own adventure. Agatha Harkness (played by Kathryn Hahn) is a witch whose lifespan dates back to the old Salem Witch Trial days, and she is very much in it for herself. The show brings horror sensibilities and Marvel comedy to The Wizard of Oz and—led by Hahn’s performance—is truly a delight. It feels different from all the recent Marvel fare, shows us something magical and dark, and is a refreshing take on the mythos of witches. Agatha has to reckon between her quest for power and her desire to make up for past deeds, and—gasp—perhaps do the right thing?

More than anything, Agatha All Along makes me want more shows and movies and books about witches in this vein, as well as others.

In many instances, witches have been maligned in the public consciousness and the zeitgeist of our storytelling. They’ve generally been the villains, the things that scare us.

Historically, though, the accused witches who were prosecuted in places like Salem were really women who either refused to conform to Puritan society or just ticked off their neighbors. The monsters were the ones who hung them.

It seems like this might be the right moment for witches to return to the popculture spotlight—and maybe through a feminist lens. We may be about to have our first woman in the presidency of our country after a legacy of hanging women who were “afflicting” others more than 300 years ago.

Zombies have already had their moment. George A. Romero brought them into the zeitgeist as possible metaphors for integration, the civil rights movement or even the Vietnam War with 1968’s Night of the Living Dead. That popularity was kicked off all over again thanks to Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead, and zombies were seemingly everywhere for a decade.

Vampires have served as metaphors in the popular culture for many things over the years when their popularity has skyrocketed—for addiction, for queerness, for leeching off society. Twilight brought them back out and kicked off another surge in popularity. Werewolves get a similar surge

now and again, although their cycles last about as long as a full moon. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein seems to get its moment in the spotlight on occasion, but it’s also fleeting.

I think witches, on the other hand, have been left out of that cycle more and more over recent decades. Sure, they might get a WB television show here or a cartoon short there. They’ll appear in comics, or incidentally as counterparts to wizards in a transphobic creator’s series or something, but they never really get the over-saturation we see with vampires and zombies.

Agatha All Along made me realize that maybe now was their time. There is so much to say with witches metaphorically and symbolically in the contemporary setting, but also across history. Seeing retellings of old stories we thought we knew through a lens of reframing history and— well, making it “woke” or something— would be utterly fascinating.

It would piss off a lot of the right people, too. And why would it piss them off? Be-

cause witches have power, and so do women. A book I read recently touched on some of these themes: Zen Cho’s Sorcerer to the Crown. It came out in 2015, and if you can find a copy, snag it—it’s delightful. It’s a Victorian era story of wizards and witches, but the women are oppressed—and while they aren’t allowed to ply their magic, the magic of the men in England is dying. In the women, meanwhile, it’s never been stronger, and the men are too stubborn to see it.

Sure, we’re getting stories like this occasionally, but they’re few and far between. I just want more—and I don’t think I’m the only one.

I think folks are going to enjoy Agatha All Along and, like me, they’re going to crave more of this sort of storytelling and these sorts of characters and archetypes, too. I think the faucet is just trickling on. In a year or two, let’s hope the spigot has filled an entire cauldron, and that it’s bubbling at a full boil. CW

Agatha All Along

Odyssey Dance: Thriller

When City Weekly spoke to Odyssey Dance founder Derryl Yeager in September 2022 about his decision to put the company—and its popular productions like the Halloweenthemed Thriller—on hiatus while he and his wife served an LDS mission, he wasn’t sure at the time that the show would go on upon his return. But he can recall the very specific moment when he realized the company would come back. “We had a great experience,” Yeager says via email, “but at one point I was pressure-spraying 114 toilets one day, and I thought, ‘I think I’m better at this dance thing!’ And we realized that providing a professional dance experience to Utah’s talented dancers was a ‘mission’ in and of itself.”

The show’s return also marks the company’s 30th anniversary season, so what better way than to kick it off with its trademark show? Those who spent years making it a part of their Halloween-season traditions will find a familiar parade of pop-culture characters—Friday the 13th’s Jason, Frankenstein’s monster, zombies, skeletons and more, along with the titular paean to Michael Jackson’s hit—dancing their way through lively numbers, leaning into the fun and funny rather than the genuinely creepy.

After wrapping its stint at Park City’s Egyptian Theatre (parkcityshows.com) through Oct. 13, Thriller takes up residence at the Grand Theatre (1575 S. State) Oct. 14 – 26, with performances Monday – Saturday, 7:30 p.m. and 2 p.m. Saturday matinees. Tickets are $42 - $77; visit odysseydance.com to purchase tickets, and for information about other performance locations. (Scott Renshaw)

involving murder and cannibalism—or, indeed, perhaps because of that content— there’s an undercurrent of grim comedy threaded throughout, in songs like “The Worst Pies in London” and “A Little Priest.” And Sondheim’s songs dip and weave their way through unconventional approaches to melody, like in the dissonant love ballad “Johanna.” Halloween-season entertainment doesn’t get much better than this. Utah Opera’s production of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street comes to the Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South) for five performances, beginning Saturday, Oct. 12 at 7:30 p.m. and also including Monday, Oct. 14 and Wednesday, Oct. 16 at 7 p.m., Friday, Oct. 18 at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Oct. 19 at 2 p.m. Tickets start at $26.50; visit utahopera.org for tickets and additional event information (SR)

Ogden Día de los Muertos

There’s a tricky grey area between cultural appropriation and recognizing the universal appeal behind a culturally-specific tradition, but in recent years, it has become common for the Latin American celebration of Día de los Muertos to be recognized even by those who didn’t grow up in that tradition. Honoring the memory of departed ancestors is an idea we can all get on board with, and Ogden Friends of Acoustic Music continues its own recent tradition of bringing Día de los Muertos to the wider community for the fourth year.

The 2024 version of the celebration features music by several Mexican musical acts, including Los Angeles-based headliners Las Cafeteras, returning from the 2021 event to bring their unique fusion of traditional Mexican folk, soul, electronic dance music and hip hop. Additional live performance acts include Ballet Folklorico Eck, Tamborazo Diamante de Utah, Mariachi Fuego de Utah and mariachi students from Ogden School District. Also on the agenda are an equestrian showcase, an art show by Ogden students, pedestrian parade and a marketplace of local vendors, in addition to plenty of wonderful food. And for anyone who wishes to honor the memory of a departed loved one, a community ofrenda, or altar, will allow anyone to participate with pictures or mementos; a pet altar will also be featured.

Día de los Muertos comes to Ogden Amphitheater (343 E. 25th St.) on Saturday, Oct. 12 from noon – 8 p.m. The event is free and open to the public. Visit ofoam.org/dia-de-los-muertos for full schedule of events and additional information. (SR)

Primal Fears

The scariest stuff from movies that live in your humble narrator’s psyche.

You learn a lot about someone when you understand what they find funny, but it can be just as revealing to learn what they find scary. Both responses are primal stuff, examples of things that either work or it doesn’t, in a way that is difficult to analyze.

I watch hundreds of movies a year, but I still approach most horror movies with dread, because I find being scared almost too unsettling to be shared in a public space. It occurred to me, then, that one of the most honest things I could do for a Halloween-themed cinema feature would be to give you a peek inside the movie stuff that has frightened me most over the years. Your mileage, of course, will vary—that’s part of what makes the psychology of terror so intensely personal.

The Wicked Witch of the West, The Wizard of Oz (1939): The original nightmare fodder of my childhood came from my first-ever viewing of the classic L. Frank Baum adaptation, likely when I was around 7 years old. Margaret Hamilton’s performance as the Wicked Witch is iconic on its own merits, but what probably made the character most terrifying to me was that she took such delight in terrorizing a kid. Plus, she had an army of flying monkeys to do her bidding, and man, that’s just never good.

Discovering Ben Gardner’s boat, Jaws (1975): While staying with my cousins in the summer of 1976, my uncle took me, my brother and my eldest cousins to a double-feature of Steven Spielberg’s blockbuster classic and the subsequent year’s killer-animal knockoff Grizzly—when I was 9 years old. The latter was just kinda gross and silly, but Spielberg’s scenes were absolutely chilling, particularly the moment when Richard Dreyfuss’s Matt Hooper goes underwater to investigate a derelict fishing boat, and finds what’s left of its owner. It haunted my dreams for months, but

it probably still didn’t match the fury unleashed on my uncle by my mother for letting us watch it.

TV spot for It’s Alive (1974): This one is kind of an odd example, because the movie in question is one I’ve still never seen. The reason for that is probably my intense reaction to the TV spots that aired for the 1977 re-release of the monster-baby horror film, in which a music-box lullaby plays as a basinet slowly rotates to reveal a clawed hand dangling from one side. It freaked me out so much that I had to leave the room any time it came on. In the same category: the TV ads for the Anthony Hopkins psychological thriller Magic, with its evil ventriloquist dummy.

The shape in the hospital, The Exorcist III (1990): Very little else about William Peter Blatty’s own follow-up to his classic The Exorcist sticks with me decades after seeing it, but I sure as hell can recall what might be the single most effective jump-scare I’ve ever experienced. If you’ve seen the movie, there’s no need for me to explain which scene I’m talking about; if you haven’t seen it, I wouldn’t dare deprive you of the experience. Suffice it to say that I’ve learned from that scene how much the effectiveness of a scare depends on the use of distance and off-screen space to keep a viewer off-balance—and this was a moment of terror I never saw coming.

Heather’s search for Mike, The Blair Witch Project (1999): Some folks may recall the scariest-movie-ever hype that followed this “found-footage” horror tale out of the Sundance Film Festival, simultaneously making it an immensely successful box-office hit when it was released that summer, and causing a backlash among those disappointed in its aesthetics and anti-resolution. As for me, it caused one of the most gut-deep feelings of dread I’ve ever experienced, particularly as our protagonist Heather (Heather Donahue, in a performance I still consider astonishing in its understanding of feeling scared beyond reason) made her final quest into what might be the home of the titular creature. The movie’s final shot still gives me shivers every time I think about it—and when, upon leaving the midnight Sundance screening where I saw it, a stray tree branch snagged the cuff of my pants, I nearly jumped out of my skin. That’s the power of cinema, folks. CW

The Wizard of Oz
Jaws
The Blair Witch Project

I“It’s a business, but at the end of the day our management chats with them, we hang out, we cook for them, we throw parties. We feel that it’s one, big team.”— NIghtmare on 13th’s Phil Wright.

CREEPY CASTING

AT SALT LAKE’S HAUNTED ATTRACTIONS, SCREAMS AND SCARES ARE ALL IN A DAY’S WORK.

Photo

f you’ve never had the opportunity to appear as a haunt actor at a haunted attraction—and that’s probably most of the people reading this—you’re missing out on a type of seasonal employment and sensory experience that’s a bit hard to explain. The evenings are all different, yet still based on a certain flow.

Arriving at the venue, you join the ranks of good-natured, upbeat folks who are readying themselves for the evening through the use of makeup, wigs, prosthetic devices, masks and no shortage of tornand-tattered clothing.

As the opening hour draws near, you’re given instructions and assignments, sent to specific scenes within the attraction, with set tasks to do while in that space for the next several hours. And as a group lead walks through the space, hyping everyone up along the way, you realize that customers are going to be walking through your zone shortly, huddling together and wanting—really wanting—to be frightened, shocked, scared.

Once the night begins, your actions repeat themselves: actors jump out of secluded, dark corners; animatronics crackle; “spooky music” loops become the

soundtrack; and screams alert you to the next guests’ momentary arrival.

Needless to say: it’s all a blast.

And for some folks in Salt Lake City, nights spent working at haunts can become an annual thing. For fans of horror and Halloween, haunted attractions are a great side gig in September and October, with many actors returning year after year to take part in the organized madness of these spaces.

City Weekly spoke to folks at two of Salt Lake City’s leading haunted attractions, getting their unique take on what they seek in actors and what types of folks are wellsuited to one of the strangest gigs you could hope to find every autumn. And yes, you’ll find even introverts within the mix.

As Fear Factory’s Heidi Dunfield says: “There’re a lot of shy people in our cast. But once they get the costume and makeup on, they can come out of their shell.”

Nightmare on 13th

Phil Wright is a mainstay at Nightmare on 13th, part of a two-haunt operation that also includes the Institute of Terror. He’s among those that are around the business through all four seasons.

“We basically have a staff, including the owner, that’s an eight-person group year round,” Wright said. “The owner is here during our peak and the rest of us all have our specialty departments. We all shift into different roles as the season becomes close. I’m in marketing and business development, then I take over the retail and frontof-house operations, such as ticketing, while the tech and build team takes over operations. The creative team moves into the personnel team.”

By that point, the work that takes place all year is largely complete: sets have been built or refined from previous years; flooring might be repaired, holes in walls patched (unless those defects are intentional); and animatronics have been run through testing. The bones of the operation are there and the crucial ingredient of staffing is the main thing that now occupies a good chunk of time.

Casting means bringing in some 100 to 150 seasonal employees, all of them moving through a process that’s not unlike a lot of other jobs. Calls for workers go out, interviews are held with candidates, training sessions are scheduled. Calendars are made, with up to “70, 80, even 90 people” on hand

during peak weekend nights, when the paying audience swells.

“A lot of it depends on their interest and availability,” Wright said of the employees, noting that some will slot into a weekly shift—or several—while others essentially make this their nightly gig for the season.

“We have close to a 50% retention rate,” he reported. “People drop off every year, but other people have been here 20 years as seasonal employees. Others have been over 10, and tons have been here over five.”

A culture has to be established and Wright says that mutual respect, from the start of the annual process, is critical.

“We’re about diversity and inclusion and don’t tolerate drama,” he said. “A lot of that crap is squashed at the very beginning. It’s a business, but at the end of the day our management chats with them, we hang out, we cook for them, we throw parties. We feel that it’s one, big team.”

Haunted attractions, of course, vary wildly in their approaches to the scare game. Some rely more on the theatrical abilities of their staff. Others are popular due to the simple built environment—the overall “spooky” vibes of the place.

As varied rooms and sections highlight

Courtesy
Behind the scenes at Salt Lake City’s Nightmare on 13th.

“You’re not just popping out and back in, you have to do improv. You’re on stage and they have to see you for an extended period of time.”

different themes or scares, there are always areas to which actors are drawn. At Nightmare, the idea is that people should be able to work their way into roles and scenarios, which sometimes means having a starring role in a prime section, sometimes not.

“It’s definitely not a veteran’s choice; the casting director looks at a variety of factors,” Wright said. “Somewhat it’s about seniority. But if someone’s killing it in a certain role, it’s a no-brainer to keep them in it, make the show look the best it can. People will get a variety of roles and if someone wants one, they’ll at least get a shot at the role. The stars, though, are going to be the stars. If you get one of the better roles, it’s because you’re one of the best performers.”

At Nightmare, the main haunt keeps performers locked into their specific rooms, while Institute of Terror’s smaller cast is able to roam and engage audience members a bit more freely. Even with that freedom, Nightmare has certain parameters of behavior. Cast members aren’t allowed to curse and actual, physical contact is a no-no; that’s true of audience members touching the cast, as well, though in the confines of a tight space that can inadvertently occur. Which can, on very rare occasions, lead to a confrontation.

“Part of our training is our telling people that you can disengage and disappear,” Wright remarked. “Obviously, if it escalates into a conflict, our actor leads are our first security people. There are cameras on all of our actors, across every zone. Someone’s watching those and an actor can give hand signals to the camera. There are security staffers and police officers on-hand. I think a lot of people feel safer knowing that, even in a haunted house, you’re being watched for the safety of guests and actors, both. We don’t want anything bad to happen to anybody.”

But these are rare moments, Wright explained. Most of the time spent with customers is a simple transaction: as an actor, you’re there to scare the customer—over and over as the hours pass.

“Whether you’re a 20-year veteran or a newbie, you’re here to make people scream,” Wright said. “We tell you to hydrate and eat well, come ready, then pace yourself. On busy nights, you’re scaring for five hours or more. We have breakers that go through the haunted house to give you 10 minutes to breathe and relax.”

And as for those introverted cast members, Wright adds that, perhaps surprisingly, many actors fit that description.

“There are a lot of roles that are not speaking,” he said. “You jump up, use shakers, noise makers, then you disappear. There are a lot of ways to express yourself.”

Fear Factory

It’s a known thing: Fear Factory’s not just a haunted attraction. It is, by many accounts, legitimately haunted.

Dunfield, a co-owner of the space, spends a fair bit of time in the facility, sometimes alone.

“We have a company called Grimm Ghost Tours, who come in and do ghost hunts for the public,” she said. “This is one of the most haunted places in Salt Lake. I haven’t done ghost hunts in a while and I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I did. The times, for me, when it’s most creepy is when I’m in here all by myself. When I’m walking through with actors and guests it’s one thing—but being here alone is another level of creepy.”

The venue’s reputation has made it a regular hit with paranormal enthusiasts and media content creators, drawing attention from the likes of Discovery’s Ghost Adventures, among others.

Dunfield said the mystique of the Fear Factory is one major appeal in it drawing a large cast every season.

“We get all walks of life,” she related. “It’s crazy, because when they all come together at showtime, no one cares about your background. You might have someone professional working with another cast member who just graduated from high school. And they just get along, these people who wouldn’t even be talking to each other in real life.”

With an intricate system of “zones” and “districts,” Fear Factory puts a premium on every nook and cranny of the place pulsing with life. That can mean animatronics and set design, of course, but it’s human performers who add the extra fuel every fall. Getting a big, diverse cast together is a long process and begins well before the season’s kickoff in the autumn.

“We start in February, usually getting our leaders assembled,” Dunfield said. “There’s a lot of leadership training, doing things like ropes courses up at Camp Tuttle. And then, starting early in July this year, we do our interview days. Depending on how they do, we take them in and do a hands-on approach, see if they can scare inside the house.”

Those who move through the process arrive for a fall sea-

son in which a good amount of holdovers are on the crew from previous seasons.

“It varies, but I would say in year’s past, it’s been close to 70% retention,” Dunfield said. “I’ve gotten a little bit pickier about cast over the past three years. We offer a large bonus to those who work through the season. Then it’s pretty basic stuff: you can’t no-show and you can’t quit altogether and get the bonus. This filters out the problem people from the year before. And most people do get the bonus.”

Dunfield said that her team at Fear Factory works a bit differently than the ones at Nightmare on 13th and other comparable haunted attractions. Here, she said, an actor is typically assigned a character early on that they portray for the entire season.

“We do move them around, but only if someone’s sick, then we’ll shift people in that way,” Dunfield noted. “We want them to have a backstory in their mind of how that character came to be and mostly people do get into whatever character they’re assigned. Front line is where everyone wants to work, which requires a different type of performer. You’re not just popping out and back in, you have to do improv. You’re on stage and they have to see you for an extended period of time. These actors are recommended by other leaders from past years.”

As with Nightmare’s staff, Dunfield says that her crew is an all-comers, all-kinds lineup.

“It’s crazy,” she adds. “There are people that are younger; they want that first job. And some older people join, too, so it’s not an all-young cast. I’m surprised at how many people are even retired, now getting to do whatever they want.”

Among that diverse cast of actors, Dunfield said the connective tissue is a love of Halloween.

“One of our managers was a nuclear engineer and an athome haunter,” she said. “We placed an ad and he applied. [He] said, ‘now I can come, have fun and spend someone else’s money.’” CW

AFTER DARK

A UTAH FILMMAKER’S SEARCH FOR CROP CIRCLE CREATORS LEFT HIM OPEN TO THE MYSTERIOUS.

In 2009, one of the world’s most complex crop circles appeared out of the blue, and Utahn Erik Hutchins was there to see it. He’d been trying to capture its creation on film, and he says his failure to do so was also a great success.

“My college buddy contacted me and said, ‘I’m going to England [to make a film], would you be part of the crew?’” Hutchins said.

A man with a zeal for the paranormal, Hutchins is co-owner of Park City Ghost Tours, where he helps research the true stories behind Park City’s most haunted locations. His interest in the space where fact and mystery intersect led him to accept the invitation to England.

The crew of five was making an investigative documentary of the crop circle phenomenon that most famously occurs in the grain fields of Wiltshire, and Hutchins accepted the role of second camera for the film, A Field Full of Secrets.

The crew spent the entire 10-week growing season in Wiltshire, and more than 40 crop circles popped up during that time. Crop circles only appear in the summer because the stalks of wheat, barley or rye standing in the field are the circle-makers’ artistic medium and must be used before harvest.

The documentary chases the crop circles as they appear, aided by a bookstore owner whose Wiltshire shop happens to be the epicenter for crop circle “comms.” A new crop circle is a huge tourist draw to these fields on private land.

“It was very important to be in with the bookstore, because he would immediately call us so we could be the first in the crop circles, like a crime scene,” Hutchins explained. “When you start walking in there, you start breaking the plants with your weight.”

According to media outlets like The New York Times, the supernatural origins of crop circles have been thoroughly debunked. A June 12, 2022, article’s incredibly pat title said it all: “Crop Circles Were Made by Supernatural Forces. Named Doug and Dave.”

The Times and other media claimed that hoaxers had demonstrated that they’d made all the crop circles in England using a string tied to a central post, a sighting loop on the end of a cap and boards strapped to their feet.

But crop circle enthusiasts like Hutchins and the documentary crew doubted this explanation. In the film, they host one of the hoaxers, who spends an entire day demonstrating how he makes an apparition in a field. The hoaxer certainly laid down a flattened circle of rye, but he wasn’t able to even approximate the amazing fractal patterns that pop up overnight, like the Milk Hill design, comprised of 409 connected circles, or the Pi circle, which the UK Telegraph called “the most complex, ‘mind-boggling’ crop circle ever to be seen in Britain.”

The hoaxer’s methods also left the field’s stems damaged.

“In a genuine crop circle, the stems aren’t broken,” Hutchins said. “The crops survive and you can actually harvest them in the fall.”

He also noted that the circles, made on undulating hills, often need to be oval-shaped to account for the hillside and give the illusion of perfect symmetry from above. Then there’s the fact that not all crop circles are even circular.

If the circles were the obvious creation of hoaxers, the crew thought they should be able to catch some in the act—other than the one they’d asked to demonstrate on film. Eight times they pulled all-nighters, staking out a likely field, keeping their cameras trained on it throughout the night. They knew that a group sneaking in to press a design into hundreds of acres of grain would inevitably be caught on camera. But the film crew was never in the right place at the right time.

And then they were.

“It was our last night that it happened,” Hutchins recounted.

Two cameramen and a sound technician had spent the night on Silbury Hill, the highest point in the area. Hutchins and his college buddy were next to the field, on ground level.

In the film, they greet the dawn disappointed, thinking they’ve been skunked once again, but that’s the moment when they get a radio call from the guys on the hilltop.

“Ryan [a crew member], could see the circle emerge as the sun was rising,” says Hutchins. “He’s like, ‘Do you see what I’m seeing? I think there’s something in the field.’”

The crop circle that materialized is now called “Mayan Mask,” and it was spectacular. It was built within a single circle and seemed to be a stylized Indian headdress with long, pointed feathers coming out from a central point and a squared geometric border.

The whole thing was 200 yards in diameter, and it certainly wasn’t made by Doug and Dave. Hutchins knows that the crew, who kept their cameras trained on the field throughout the night, would have caught human hoaxers at work.

“The crop circle that happened in front of us— Mayan Mask—wasn’t there when the sun went down. It was there when the sun came up,” he stated. “You can see a car coming from miles away or a person with a headlamp. But we saw nothing. Nobody was out there.”

Hutchins says the film demonstrates that the origins of all crop circles can’t be simplistically explained away. He adds that we should open our minds to bigger possibilities—not just for the thrill of a mystery, but for our own good.

“When we think there’s something greater than us out there, it helps us coalesce with each other,” he says. CW

Filmmaker Erik Hutchins during production of A Field Full of Secrets, which tracked the not-fully-explained appearance of crop circles in England.

BRUSHES WITH THE BEYOND

A MORTICIAN, A MEDIUM, A GHOST HUNTER, A FUNERAL BAGPIPER AND AN ATHEIST WEIGH IN ON GHOSTS, SPIRITS AND THE AFTERLIFE.

Matt Jensen sees spirits. One night, working alone in a Southern Utah mortuary, he prepared to lock the outside door. Then he saw a man standing in front of the elevator.

“He was all dressed up in a black suit and tie—as if he were a funeral director or someone attending church,” Jensen said. “But I just knew he was a spirit in body form.”

The man was short and appeared to be in his 70s or 80s. Jensen locked the door and, moments later as he started to walk up a flight of stairs, he saw the man again.

“This time, he looked down at me from the top of the stairs,”

Jensen recounted. “We made eye contact, and I felt chills.”

Another day, Jensen said he saw a similar spirit while working in the basement file room. Again, the spirit wore a black suit, white shirt and black shoes.

“We kept looking at each other,” Jensen said. “He turned around and walked out the door. Then he disappeared.”

Once, when Jensen was alone in a darkened viewing room where there was already a body in a casket, he saw a bright light, about chest high, that surged across the room in half a second.

“Then it was gone,” he said.

It’s not just Jensen who has experienced strange phenomena in a mortuary setting. A funeral

director once told Jensen about a time when she was alone in the prep room preparing to embalm a man who lay on the table.

“She was wondering about his facial hair,” he said. “If people recognize someone for having a mustache, you want to keep it for the viewing. It could lead to monumental problems with the family if you shave it off.”

While the funeral director pondered how best to proceed, she heard the man’s voice. He told her to leave his beard alone, saying that was how people knew him.

For this story, Jensen asked to be referred to through the use of a pseudonym because mortuary personnel are reluctant to dis-

cuss spiritual encounters.

Jensen doesn’t want to alienate his colleagues in the funeral business; yet he affirms such spiritual encounters happen and says they are unforgettable.

He recalled a time when a woman passed away, and her relatives—including a mentally challenged daughter—came to the viewing.

“The mom asked the daughter if she would like to walk to the front of the room, where her grandmother lay in her casket,” Jensen said. “The mother asked, ‘Would you like to walk up to see Grandma?’ The daughter replied, ‘I can see her from where I’m at. She’s standing right next to the casket.’”

“We made eye contact, and I felt chills.”—Mortuary worker Matt Jensen (pseudonym) says he has experienced several spiritual encounters. Continued

Close to Home

Salt Laker Don Cannon lived in a mortuary with his family for 34 years. It was a typical house when they purchased it, but was later remodeled to double as a funeral home.

“I never thought about being a mortician when I was younger,” Cannon said, “but the work-from-home lifestyle appealed to me.”

The Cannon family—which has owned Cannon Mortuary for 43 years—said that they have not seen any ghosts, but they do often feel spiritual presences as part of their work.

Cannon remembers seeing a glow appear around the body of his wife’s grandmother after she passed, like a halo.

And while that’s the only visual manifestation that he said he has experienced, he recalled feeling a similar presence after his wife’s grandfather died.

“In that brightly lit prep room, when you’re preparing the body of someone you know— you’re feeling it,” Cannon said. “You’re really feeling it.”

The Cannons once received the body of a little girl who died in Utah. She was from Texas, and Jackie Cannon—Don’s wife—explained how morticians are legally required to embalm bodies before shipping them across state lines.

A part-time employee who worked for the family embalmed the girl. Afterward, he told the Cannons he’d never felt like this—while he knew nothing about the child, he felt her presence the whole time. Like she was sitting there and watching him.

The Cannons told him the girl was from a Texas town and the embalmer replied, “Oh? I’m from Texas. Where are you sending her?”

It turned out that the employee and the young girl were from the same small town.

“It blew our minds,” Don Cannon said. “He felt he had never sensed someone’s presence while preparing them. And now it was this little girl who was from his hometown.”

Reaching Out

With more than a decade of experience as a paranormal investigator, as founder of Advance Paranormal Services and as a bagpiper at funerals, DeAnn Thomas said that she often encounters phenomena similar to those that morticians reportedly experience.

“When a man in his early 30s died under suspicious circumstances, at the funeral, you could feel the energy of spirits in the room,” she recalled. “It wasn’t a peaceful feeling; it was angry and frustrated.”

She knows of a local mortician who finished preparing a body for a viewing several hours before the family’s arrival. As he closed the door to shift to a different task, he saw a man sitting in a chair.

“Looking closer, he saw it was the deceased man he had been working with,” Thomas said. “They looked at each other before he finished closing the door.”

Hraefn Wulfson (he pronounces his AngloSaxon name as “Raven”) said he knows that the spirits of dead people exist. They’re part of how his gifts work during his readings as a medium, rune reader and intuitive at Golden Braid Bookstore in Salt Lake City.

“Surprisingly, the spirits of people’s deceased pets show up to the point where I can describe their characteristics,” he said. “I often get loved ones or deceased friends. I’ll describe their attributes and attitudes, and I’m never wrong.”

One client told him she felt a woman’s presence when she was in a particular place.

“I feel like she is your aunt,” said Wulfson.

The client said her mother had a twin sister who died at age 14—the same age that Wulfson’s spiritual manifestation appeared to be.

Michele Victoria is an Irish psychic medium who does readings for Elysium Evanescents, a metaphysical supply store in Ogden. In her readings, the spirits of her clients’ loved ones emerge like a TV screen in her mind.

“While they don’t want us to become depen-

dent on them and give away our power, our loved ones know how tough life is here,” Victoria explained, “and they come through to provide guidance, love, and support.”

She said she does not doubt that there is an afterlife. After people die, she asserted, their souls continue.

“They’re not just hanging around us; when you think about a loved one, it’s a direct call. It only takes a thought, and they’re there,” she said. “Thinking about them draws their energy to you.”

“Our loved ones know how tough life is here and they come through to provide guidance, love and

Paranormal investigator and funeral bagpiper
DeAnn Thomas
support.”—psychic medium Michele Victoria.
Continued from page 25
COURTESY
The Cannon family, of Cannon Mortuary, have not seen ghosts, but say the presence of the dead can be felt during services.
Continued on page 28

“I’ll describe their attributes and attitudes, and I’m never wrong.”—Hraefn Wulfson, a medium and rune reader.

ows or had nothing better to do.

Beside brushes with the beyond, morticians have a unique view into how people say goodbye to their loved ones. The Cannons receive many unusual requests. Customers have asked to have their cremated pets buried with them, they said, or that a Latter-day Saint temple recommend be placed in a pocket.

“We’ve had people put a Diet Coke or a Doctor Pepper in the casket,” Don Cannon disclosed.

As a bagpiper who plays at funerals, Thomas said she once saw a casket filled with so many mementos that you could barely see the deceased. She remembers someone calling, “Does anyone else have anything they want to put in?”

She saw a corpse with a thimble on his finger and a tape measure beside it. Her husband’s family buried her father-in-law with a Diet Coke and his poker chips.

“When I die,” Thomas said, “I wonder what my kids will put in with me.”

She added that she will never forget seeing a casket that was draped with a flag emblazoned with the sentiment, “I Love Boobies.”

But Dan Ellis, president of Atheists of Utah, says that the concept of heaven, hell and an afterlife never made sense to him.

If he heard someone from heaven was watching people here, he wondered if they were lurking in shad-

“So, Grandpa is watching me poop?” he speculated.

Responding to the idea that people will see their relatives in heaven, he wondered how he might recognize them, or whether his pets would be there as well.

“Pets get a free ride and don’t have to attend church,” he says.

Further, he wonders what would happen if he wanted to spend time with people from Earth who didn’t make it to heaven.

“Do they live in some purgatory?” Ellis questioned.

He adds that some religions’ afterlife views are mutually exclusive with those of other faiths, and considers all the points do not match up.

“It’s all just so weird,” he expressed.

But after working with many cultures and faiths, the Cannons say most people with a religious background believe in an afterlife of some sort, even though the specifics may vary.

“They attach different names to the person in charge and do different things, but they feel there is a great truth out there that we are all part of,” Don Cannon said.

“This web of connections might not be exactly what we think or someone else thinks,” he added. “We don’t know. But we’ll understand someday, hopefully.”

Memento Mori
COURTESY PHOTO
COURTESY PHOTO
Dan Ellis, president of Atheists of Utah.

CITY WEEKLY

DRIVER WANTED

Blow Your Horn

FRA revokes Utah’s railroad ‘quiet zones’ along the Wasatch Front

Residents of the Wasatch Front can expect to hear more train horns—day and night— after maintenance failures led the Federal Railway Administration (FRA) to revoke 16-year-old “Quiet Zone” status at Utah’s surface crossings.

In a joint statement released Tuesday, the Utah Transit Authority (UTA) and Union Pacific (UP) confirmed that cities between Ogden and Provo—an area that includes Salt Lake City—had fallen out of compliance with FRA safety regulations, requiring both freight and passenger train operators to sound their horns at all hours of the day.

“Rail safety is critical—it only takes seconds for tragedy to strike,” the statement noted. “Union Pacific and Utah Transit Authority’s compliance of horn sounding keeps people safe in areas where things like striping, signage, curbing and other enhanced safety measures by applicant cities do not meet FRA quiet zone standards.”

UTA spokesman Gavin Gustafson reiterated to City Weekly that UTA and UP are willing to provide what assistance they can to cities as they endeavor to become compliant. But he reiterated that road and crossing maintenance falls under the jurisdiction of municipal governments, and he was unable to identify where the problem areas are located, or how many out-of-compliance crossings there are.

“If the quiet zone is lifted, we have to blow the horn,” Gustafson said. “That’s not a judgment call.”

In Salt Lake County, the Frontrunner and UP rights-of-way are largely located in westside communities and have long caused residents there to be divided from their east-side counterparts. Freight trains can stretch beyond a mile, with rail activities leading to daily road closures, sometimes for an hour or more.

Recent years have seen the launch of a citizen-led effort known as the Rio Grande Plan, which proposes to reduce the number of surface crossings by burying passenger and freight lines in an underground “train box.” While Salt Lake City has studied the proposal, there are no current plans to implement it, or to close any of the city’s many at-grade crossings.

In the meantime, east-west streets and non-driving connections like the 9-Line and Folsom trails see users routinely impeded from travel by stopped trains.

The change in quiet zone status came in response to application renewals being handled by Lehi and Woods Cross on behalf of their Wasatch Front sister cities.

Andrew Wittenberg, spokesman for Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall, said it is not yet known how many crossings were deemed insufficient by the FRA or in which cities those crossings are located.

“We didn’t have any advance knowledge,” he said.

In their joint statement, UTA and UP said that operators will return to no-horn passage through Wasatch Front cities once federal regulators deem it permissible to do so.

“As cities determine how they respond to the FRA findings, UTA and Union Pacific must instruct our operators to sound horns every time we cross these areas,” they said. “When the cities receive compliance approval again from the FRA, freight and commuter trains will resume quiet zone protocols.”

A stopped Union Pacific train blocks the Folsom Trail on Salt Lake City’s west side on Aug.

Dinners for Sinners

How to indulge your favorite dining sin this Halloween season.

As I get into the Halloween mindset, I often think about the relationship between food and sin. From the Bible’s metaphorical use of a forbidden fruit to illustrate the fall of Adam and Eve to Persephone’s underworld imprisonment for noshing on a few pomegranate seeds, there is something profound about our own spiritual connection to the food we eat. Which is why I’m probably screwed.

If the quality of one’s food has a direct correlation to the quality of one’s soul, there’s not a whole lot I can do to recoup my wayward spirituality. I’m too far gone into the world of dining and restaurants. Food has become less about sustenance and more about sensation–every time I pursue a previously unknown indulgence, I fall deeper into this sensory world of culinary possibilities.

My own desire to “live deliciously” as The Witch’s Black Phillip would put it has surely marked my soul for at least a teensy bit of damnation. Why, I can even guide you to dishes that best represent each of the seven deadly sins, which you’ll find contained within. Read on…if you dare.

Lust - Paris Baguette

Lust represents coveting something you cannot–or more accurately should not–have. As pastries, sweets, doughnuts and

cookies are among the most delightful ways to pour empty calories into your system, Paris Baguette is a great place to indulge one’s lust for sweet things. Their shimmering display cases proffer everything from buttery croissants to creamfilled pastry, and it’s all right there for you to reach in and take–pay for it, please. Theft may be a symptom of lust, but I haven’t time to get into all that nuance right now.

parisbaguette.com

Sloth - DoorDash & Grubhub

The nice thing about sloth is that you can really eat whatever you want as long as you’re having someone else bring it to your door. Even if you’re getting something healthy from Protein Foundry or Vessel, thy slothfulness hath marked thee one of the devil’s own. Ordering food from a service like this may also be actual evil–not just fun evil–since they really price gouge local restaurants who rely on their service to reach more diners. My one commandment for committing this sin: Thou shalt only door dash thy vittles when thy vittles are prepared by a multinational corporate conglomerate.

Gluttony and Greed - Chuck-A-Rama

When discussing food, greed and gluttony are kind of the same thing–there aren’t a whole lot of restaurant concepts that give you money, after all. Therefore, we can knock both of these sins out with a visit to Chuck-A-Rama. Sure, any all-you-can-eat buffet will do, but there’s just something so Utah about visiting the Chuck. Of course, those who really want to debauch themselves can check out King Buffet, which is arguably larger and contains more variety, but that choice is yours to make. Obviously this is a shoo-in when it comes to places to indulge that desire to simply eat until you bust, and the all-you-can-eat concept is quintessentially sinful–it was born in Las Vegas, after all. chuck-a-rama.com

Envy - Bambara

Every so often, I’ll visit a restaurant and order my food only to find myself envious of the dishes I did not get. This happens a lot at Bambara, where each dish is so beautiful on the plate that you can’t help but wonder how much it will improve the life of whoever will be enjoying it. Once the envy has seized you and you end up ordering more than you should, it simply returns with more potency as you envy those whose stomachs are not as full as yours. Bambara is also a great place to be envious of those around you. Any time you visit, there’s always someone prettier and more successful than you sitting just across the aisle.

bambara-slc.com

Pride - Dollie’s Soup & Salad

There’s nothing more prideful than going out for a meal and only getting a salad. It sends the message that instead of indulging in the wide variety of culinary options at your disposal, you’re going to–eek!–eat something healthy. Dollie’s Soup & Salad has been a local gathering spot for these prideful diners as it touts a menu of fresh ingredients, tasty soups and low-calorie fare. With every crunch of kale and quinoa, I can hear the salad diner mock my decision to eat pizza for the third night in a row. dolliessoupandsalad.com

Wrath - Bucket O’ Crawfish

There aren’t many restaurants that encourage you to take a physically active part in dismembering the main ingredient, which is where Bucket O’ Crawfish comes in. When you order said bucket o’ crawfish, you get a pail of perfectly boiled crawfish that are ready for you to rip and tear your way through their succulence. Heads are twisted and ripped off to access the slurpworthy seasoned juices within. Claws are torn in half, legs are pulled out segment by segment and tails are yanked apart. It’s the angriest dining around. bucketocrawfish.com

2 Row Brewing

73 West 7200 South, Midvale

2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: Lollygaggin’ Farmhouse Ale

Avenues Proper

376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap:  Festbier

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: California Steam Lager, American Heritage Lager NEW: Oktoberfest Märzenbier

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: HARVEST - Wet Hop Amber

Craft by Proper

1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Ay Curuba! Curuba Sour

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Hip Check Ice, an Imperial Lager

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: Imperial Cider, RaspberryHibiscus Session Mead

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2  Helper Beer 159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Basic Witch - Pumpkin Pie Chocolate Stout

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

On Tap: Cheeky (English Pub Ale); Sweet Revenge Oktoberfest (Collaboration with Strap Tank)

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna-Style Lager

Follow us on Instagram: @ levelcrossingbrewing

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Bat Country Blonde Ale FREE yoga every other Saturday. 10:15am

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Barrel-aged Kentucky Mule hard cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewery 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: GNAR Juice - 5.0% Hard Seltzer, infused with electrolytes from Gnarly Nutrition

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Red Rock Brewing

254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project

30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Out of the Park Hazy Pale Ale

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Roosters Ogtoberfest

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Lupulin Dew - Wet Hop Pale Ale

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com On Tap: Prickly Pear Kolsch

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com On Tap: Shacksbury Sweater Weather 8% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider. com On Tap: Spiced Peach

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Slushies; Harvey Wallbanger Sour Ale

Shades On State

366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com On Tap: Salud Mexican Lager; Spring Fever Grapefruit Radler

Silver Reef

4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George SGBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co.

– Oktoberfest Lager

Squatters and Wasatch

Brewery

1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Lord of Bavaria Marzen Small Batch Series Release: Polyandry Pilsner

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: “The Sundering” (Passionfruit/Guava Juicy Pale); “Stay Gold” (English Golden)

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com On Tap: The Gambler (Mango Kolsch); Caught in the Rain (Pineapple Sour)

TF Brewing

936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Strata Fresh Hop Pale Ale

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

BEER NERD

Zom-beers

It doesn’t take eating brains to know these will get you in the Halloween spirit.

It’s the time of year for spooky things— and even the marketing departments from local breweries are getting in on the fun. In October, the obvious beer style would be the tried-and-true pumpkin beers; it’s the only time of year they’re made, and every brewery has at least one. That said, I found some beers that are full of the Halloween spirit with no pumpkin at all, so instead we can focus on some more traditional and (nontraditional) spooky beers.

Hop Butcher For the World - Zombie Hopsicle: This ghoulish beer features Citra, Strata, HBC-630 & Nelson Sauvinhops, a double IPA brewed with guava and strawberry. While it’s technically a “milkshake” IPA, this 7.5 percent ale features no lactose for added sweetness.

Poured into a large tulip, it came out cloudy but bright orange, and not as turbid as I expected considering the style and what I have seen from other milkshake IPAs. But then I poured the rest of the can into the glass, and boom, a sudden, heavy swirl of cloudy, milky debris spiraled around the glass, while a thin white head shyly displays on top. Creamy orange, strawberry and vanilla comes off the nose at first, even before emptying the full can into the glass. Once it’s at full strength, softened, aging guava and pink Starburst emerge. When given a vigorous swirl, rejuvenating the carbonation, huge, explosive, vibrant, fresh and absolutely seductive strawberry powerfully perfumes the glass.

Creamy strawberry-guava flavor comes across first, followed with a tangy zip. Tangerine and pineapple come next, and then, again, when fully poured, super-fresh strawberries take on a life of

their own. Some high-quality custard flavor sturdily runs in the background. There is a yeast tang, but this is the price you pay to obtain these flavors and drink them as fresh as possible.

Verdict: Zombie Hopsicle does not have as thick a feel as it looks. The implied smoothie-like texture is as close as you can get; you can see how weird that might be, and also how that might create problems with the can. In any case, I’m glad this is still in beer territory, with a tingly medium feel and a semidry finish.

Seven Island Brewery - Zombie Beast: This macabre New England DIPA was made with Citra BBC, Krush, HBC 586 and HBC 630. This 8.0 percent ale is all IPA, and it pours a deep, super hazy honey golden color with a two-finger fluffy white head that recedes to a cap and collar. The nose is a delicious hoppy bouquet with definite Citra presence. It’s hard to keep these numbered hops straight in my head, but there’s wonderful passionfruit and mysterious floral notes in here that might be because of their addition. Fittingly, it smells juicy and hoppy.

The palate is big Citra. A huge pop of tangy sweet orange and some zesty bitter grapefruit; “tang” is definitely the appropriate word here. There’s a grassy freshness in the background as well that invokes a subtle sense of unripe fruit, or the color green.

A little bitterness in the tail end builds slightly in the finish, but let’s remember that this is a double IPA; I’ve had plenty of pale ales that were way more bitter than this. The ABV is detectable, but barely, while the mouthfeel is lush and creamy.

Verdict: This is an outstanding and memorable NEIPA. The balance—between flavor and drinkability, crispness and creaminess, juiciness and dryness—is stellar. I’ll definitely seek this out again.

These beers were made for Beer Zombies, and are only available at the Beer Zombies locations in Las Vegas as well as Salt Lake City. They both come in 16-ounce cans.

As always, cheers!

the BACK BURNER

Little America Gets Spooky

Throughout the month of October, the Lucky H Lounge at Little America (500 South Main Street) will take on a spooky new identity. Reinventing itself as The Last Ride of Lucky H, the lounge has become an immersive old West experience where visitors are encouraged to solve the mystery behind Lucky H’s last ride. The transformation has also captured the food and drink menu where spooky cocktails and morbid dining options will be available. Obviously visitors will want to snap a few photos at the lounge, so arriving in your favorite Western attire is encouraged. Any time Little America undergoes these little transformations, it’s always worth checking out.

Red Beryl Kitchen & Bar Opens

Speaking of hotel dining, the Hilton DoubleTree Suites Downtown (110 W. 600 South) recently welcomed a restaurant by the name of Red Beryl. This new eatery will be open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and also has rooms available to rent for private dining events. A quick glance over the menu reveals plenty of contemporary American fare fused with both Latin and European flavors. Red Beryl’s breakfast menu includes a stacked buffet and lemon ricotta pancakes; lunch features plenty of great burgers and flatbreads; and both grilled hanger steaks with chimichurri and seared wild salmon with risotto await you for dinner.

Bix Bakery Closes in Sugar House

Fans of popping into Bix Bakery and Cafe (479 E. 2100 South) for dessert after dining at Saffron Valley in Sugar House are in for some sad news. Per a recent social media post, the local bakery has closed its doors on the Sugar House location and the space will be transformed into a catering facility and commercial kitchen. The post states that this change was made to “provide a centralized kitchen for all our restaurant operations.” Fans of Bix and Saffron Valley can still visit Bix Cafe which operates out of Kiln (26 S. Rio Grande Street, Ste 2072).

Quote of the Week: “Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and just eat one of the pieces.” –Judith Viorst

Hive a Happy Halloween

The moon—a striking glitch within a picturesque black sky—no longer serves as your singular guiding light on Halloween or other dark, cold nights. When breath begins to jump from your mouth just to freeze, and goosebumps prickle the nape of your neck with ease, you should know which venue to head towards when walking down the street. When the wind whispers without reason and your bones take up the leisurely rattle of the season, it’s time to walk yourself down to the right place in town: The Beehive on State Street.

The Beehive has been a working DIY venue for the better part of a decade, but since Andrew Earley’s takeover around the advent of the pandemic, it has haunted its way right into even the most hardened of Salt Lake City hearts.

What started as a decades-long dream to create a safe community space for good, vegan comfort food and alternative art burned itself into a bright reality when Earley received a phone call. “My friend said, ‘Hey, I’m looking at this space, you should stop looking at that other building for your restaurant and come do it here,’ and I said, ‘What’s the address?’ and he said, ‘It’s 666 South State Street,’ and I said ‘Let’s go in the morning!’” And the rest was only the beginning.

Earley and his friend built out a restaurant in the front of the venue, the beloved all-vegan Mark of the Beastro, and revamped (get it?) the Beehive venue with ready and eager fangs. When his friend moved on from the project, Earley took over, and joined forces with the Beehive’s technical director to start the Alternative Arts and Music Program (AAMP Utah), a creative way to help fund The Beehive, and

a 501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on supporting, well, you guessed it, alternative arts and music in Utah.

Earley, now the executive director of the program states, “The focus of AAMP and The Beehive from the get-go has always been building a space for community, a place where we could go, and have shows that we liked, and celebrate the art we like, organize, and create this space that had been really important to us [hardcore kids] growing up.” As the saying goes, the devil finds work (lots and lots of work, it seems!) for idle hands to do.

AAMP “prefers to do a little bit of everything as much as possible,” using The Beehive events space to also support other SLC-based art and activist organizations, including Misrule Theatre, Salt City Slam, Bleached and Bewitched-led markets and performances, among many others.

Most recently, AAMP was approved for a low-power, non-commercial FM radio station, which according to Earley, will specialize in “stuff that other radio stations wouldn’t ever be caught dead playing … the more unique and the more DIY, and the kind of stuff you have to hunt down. That’s what I want to put on the radio. That’s my goal. And that’s kind of what we try to do at The Beehive in general.”

With approximately 250+ events each year, The Beehive sees quite the lineup of music, including favorites such as DARE (the hardcore outfit, not the guy in the suit), SCOUT and Academy Order.

“It’s seeing these bands come through, that you’re like ‘Oh, this is magic, this is something to remember, you’re gonna go on and see them later.’ And there’s been lots of those bands,” Earley asserts. “It’s a lot of these really unique events that are very special in so many different ways, rather than name-dropping these crazy bands. And that does happen, but to me, spaces like this do better when it’s these memorable experiences.”

Ah yes, the music. It’s why you flicked your spellbound fingers through the pages

of our beloved City Weekly towards this section in the first place. And lucky for you, dear reader, within the deep red walls and among the villainous action figures and Halloween decor lined up year-round upon the shelves, is a venue known to be the best—and most inclusive, and activist-oriented—venue for underground music this side of hell.

“I know punk and hardcore kind of have this reputation of being scary, and sometimes violent, and bad guys in ’80s movies,” Earley acknowledges, “but to me it was the thing that taught me how to express myself, and be who I wanted to be, and find values I could resonate with, and find like-minded people who were there to support and build that community, and I wanted to create a space that I could continue that.”

Which is why amongst the Universal Monsters figurines and hardcore scene posters, you’ll also find Black Lives Matter

and Queer Pride prints, community theory bookshelves and a welcoming space to be 100% sober. “So yeah, it gets a bad rap, but it’s mostly righteous anger,” Earley opines. “If you get involved in the right scenes, it’s mostly people who want to get involved and change things for the better.” See? It’s just like The Clash always said! Public service announcements—with guitar!

And, as all things go, what would be truly scary this Halloween is not the monsters under the bed or The Lost Boys aesthetic (even if some of us are still looking for a dupe of Marko Thompson’s patchwork bomber jacket) which coats the history of the hardcore scene, but rather, not taking a chance on a deviously good time at a venue that’s only frightening if you hate bloody good fun.

Find information on The Beehive and AAMP Utah on their Instagram and Facebooks, @beehiveslc and @aamputah. CW

The Beehive

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

GREAT FOOD

MUSIC PICK S

Carbon Leaf @ The State Room 10/10

Critics are often confounded when trying to put a handle on Carbon Leaf’s signature sound. Even so, the Richmond, Virginia-based band has still managed to gain a faithful following, enhanced by their populist appeal and a varied repertoire that combines alt-country, folk, indie rock and Celtic influences. It’s served them well over a career spanning more than 30 years and some 20 albums. “All five members had different influences when we came together—from AC/DC to the Grateful Dead, from the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Neil Young, and from the Beach Boys to R.E.M.,” founding member Barry Privett told Maryville Tennessee’s Daily Times. “We were just throwing everything into the soup starting out … It took us a while to add those influences in, but once we did, it opened up some doors to our sound that proved to be an interesting and enduring twist. It’s nice to have different places to go stylistically … I guess you could call us a rock band with folk roots.” That definition is as good as any, having carved their own unique niche since claiming a major hit in 2004 with “Life Less Ordinary” after reaching the upper realms of Billboard ’s Adult Alternative chart. “Being a band—and staying a band—is incredibly challenging over time,” Privett continued. “But really, just showing up creatively is the key.” Happily, Carbon Leaf has managed to do that, and more. Carbon Leaf performs a 21+ show at The State Room on Thursday, Oct. 10 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $32 GA. Go to axs.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

10/19

Jeffrey Louis & The Voltage

Bleary Eyed

The Bar Code Tour

Ft. Jarren Benton, Locksmith Pony

Mr. Gnome

Alisxn Gray x Hallow

MUSIC PICK S

Healy @ Soundwell 10/11

In the mainstream march to make everything sound squeaky clean and plastic—an era where the death of the “musician artist” isn’t permanent—you find individuals who will absolutely grab you and that have a distinctive identity. Memphis, Tenn.-based recording artist Ethan Healy (a.k.a. Healy) has released a handful of projects, all of them distinguished and interesting. From his Soundcloud days in 2015, to graduating from medical school with a degree in 2018, to getting placement of his single “Nikes On” in the 2023’s Adam Sandler film You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, Ethan Healy is doing without doing, and embracing the Law of Reversed Effort. “I’m just leaning into the space of wanting to bend the rules more within myself. I’m just trying to throw paint at the wall and see what sticks,” he told WeAreMemphis.com. “I have a couple of demos where I’m, like, screaming, and then ones that are very polished. I’ve allowed myself to reinvent myself and shed past skins. I really look forward to the process of discovering.” That discovery comes through writing hopeful words in the face of sadness, with nearly as much emotion or clarity. Healy really hasn’t received the attention and plaudits his talent deserves. Buppy opens. Catch these musicians on Friday, Oct. 11. Doors at 6 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $20 at tixr.com. (Mark Dago)

Olivia

Sparkle Horse

Sparkle

Linda Ronstadt

Matrix Rave @ IYKYK HiFi+ 10/12

It’s the 25-year anniversary of the iconic film The Matrix. To celebrate, local collectives Nightfreq, inhell x exhell, 4s club and IYKYK HiFi+ are throwing a Matrix-themed late-night warehouse rave. This event will include DJs DRINK, Julliette, LampShady, MAPLO and Pears Haus for a night of U.K. Garage (UKG), Bass House and Two Step. Nightfreq has thrown events since 2009, and back in 2017, the collectives decided to explore the UKG market here in SLC and booked Roska from London. Although it had a great turnout, not many people here were familiar with the genre at the time, so they chose to focus on other markets. This was also around the time BYOB after hours were new to the SLC scene. Seven years later, Nightfreq is reintroducing a UKG night in Salt Lake now that more people are familiar with the subgenre. This time, they are teaming up with Myles from 4s club, who has been throwing successful free Drum n Bass events at the rooftop of the Evo Hotel.

What makes this event extra special is the lineup of local DJs with a UKG sound that was curated with the help of Dillon aka DJ Gabba. Matrix-themed costumes are encouraged. Come through Saturday, Oct. 12 to IYKYK HiFi+ (569 W 600 South). Doors open at 10 p.m. and the party goes late, around 4 a.m. Early bird tickets cost $20. Go to nightfreq.com. (Arica Roberts)

Worlds

Worst, Soul Blind, Boyfriend Sushi Town, Bug Bath @ Kilby Court 10/14

Don’t get me wrong, I love a self-deprecating joke. Making jokes on your own behalf is the best kind of comedy, because you’re not making anyone else feel bad—theoretically, anyway. But there are times where you have to give credit where it’s due. SLC rockers Worlds Worst are out and about touring, but are making time for their hometown on Monday, Oct. 14 at the beloved Kilby Court. Worlds Worst truly can’t warrant the moniker

they gave themselves, because they were included on Stereogum’s 2023 “Best New Bands” list, and have thousands of streams on their 2023 self-titled album, as well as their most recent release “Motor Mouth.” Jokes aside, Worlds Worst has an addicting indie/rock vibe that you don’t want to miss out on. Joining them are New Yorkers Soul Blind and locals Boyfriend Sushi Town. Boyfriend Sushi Town brings a delightful mix of sounds with their use of fiddle, but then also serves up the noise on other tracks with heavy, heavy guitar and screaming vocals. Their 2023 album Player is a wild ride in the best way possible, there’s a lot of interesting elements and is a great choice if you’re looking for something new and unique. Also on the bill are Reno rockers Bug Bath, cranking the volume up to 10 with their lively indie rock jams. Come have a good time on this lovely fall evening on Monday, Oct. 14 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $10 in advance, and $12 at the door. Grab tickets at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

A.J. Croce @ Eccles Theater, 10/15

Jim Croce was a giant among singersongwriters. Though his time in the national spotlight was comparatively brief, he left an indelible impression upon pop -

ular music. His musical vignettes were portraits of characters—some partly real, some the product of his fertile and creative imagination—and his straightforward way with words and melody earned him fame. Croce’s success would come comparatively late; after two non-charting albums, he struck gold with 1972’s You Don’t Mess Around With Jim. That LP spawned three hit singles: the title track, “Operator (That’s Not the Way it Feels)” and the classic “Time in a Bottle.” Two more successful albums and four more hit singles (including “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”) followed in rapid succession, but his career was cut short when a plane carrying him crashed, killing him and five others. He was only 30 years old, and left behind a wife and toddler son, A.J. As the younger Croce grew to adulthood, he launched a creatively successful career all his own, with a style that drew upon musical traditions across the American landscape. Now in honor of the 50th anniversary of his father’s best-loved works, A.J. has mounted a tour honoring the life, music and stories of the late, great Jim. The “Croce Plays Croce” tour comes to the Eccles Theater on Tuesday, Oct. 15 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $35 and up, available at arttix.org. (Bill Kopp)

free will ASTROLOGY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

In the coming weeks, you may be tempted to spar and argue more than usual. You could get sucked into the fantasy that it would make sense to wrangle, feud and bicker. But I hope you sublimate those tendencies. The same hot energy that might lead to excessive skirmishing could just as well become a driving force to create robust harmony and resilient unity. If you simply dig further into your psyche’s resourceful depths, you will discover the inspiration to bargain, mediate and negotiate with élan. Here’s a bold prediction: Healing compromises hammered out now could last a long time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Question no. 1: “What subjects do you talk about to enchant and uplift a person who’s important to you?” Answer no. 1: “You talk about the feelings and yearnings of the person you hope to enchant and uplift.” Question no. 2: “How do you express your love with maximum intelligence?” Answer no. 2: “Before you ask your allies to alter themselves to enhance your relationship, ask yourself how you might alter yourself to enhance your relationship.” Question no. 3: “What skill are you destined to master, even though it’s challenging for you to learn?” Answer no. 3: “Understanding the difference between supple passion and manic obsession.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

In 1819, Gemini entrepreneur François-Louis Cailler became the first chocolatier to manufacture chocolate bars. His innovation didn’t save any lives, cure any disease or fix any injustice. But it was a wonderful addition to humanity’s supply of delights. It enhanced our collective joy and pleasure. In the coming months, dear Gemini, I invite you to seek a comparable addition to your own personal world. What novel blessing might you generate or discover? What splendid resource can you add to your repertoire?

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Ayurnamat is a word used by the Inuit people. It refers to when you long for the relaxed tranquility that comes from not worrying about what can’t be changed. You wish you could accept or even welcome the truth about provocative situations with equanimity. Now here’s some very good news, Cancerian. In the coming weeks, you will not just yearn for this state of calm, but will also have a heightened ability to achieve it. Congratulations! It’s a liberating, saintlike accomplishment.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Healing will be more available to you than usual. You’re extra likely to attract the help and insight you need to revive and restore your mind, soul and body. To get started, identify two wounds or discomforts you would love to alleviate. Then consider the following actions: 1. Ruminate about what helpers and professionals might be best able to assist you. Make appointments with them; 2. Perform a ritual in which you seek blessings from your liveliest spirit guides and sympathetic ancestors; 3. Make a list of three actions you will take to make yourself feel better; 4. Treat this process not as a somber struggle, but as a celebration of your mounting vitality.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The Beatles were the best-selling band of all time and among the most influential, too. Their fame and fortune were well-earned. Many of the 186 songs they composed and recorded were beautiful, interesting and entertaining. Yet none of the four members of the band could read music. Their brilliance was intuitive and instinctual. Is there a comparable situation in your life, Virgo? A task or skill that you do well despite not being formally trained? If so, the coming months will be a good time to get better grounded. I invite you to fill the gaps in your education.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In 2010, Edurne Pasaban became the first woman to climb the world’s tallest 14 mountains, reaching the top of Shishapangma in China. In 2018, Taylor Demonbreun arrived

in Toronto, Canada, completing a quest in which she visited every sovereign nation on the planet in 18 months. In 1924, explorer Alexandra David-Néel pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of visiting Lhasa, Tibet, when that place was still forbidden to foreigners. Be inspired by these modern heroes as you ruminate about what frontiers and adventures you will dare to enjoy during the next six months. Design a plan to get all the educational and experimental fun you need.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Alnwick Garden is an unusual network of formal gardens in northeast England. Among its many entertaining features is the Poison Garden, which hosts 100 species of toxic and harmful plants like hemlock, strychnine and deadly nightshade. It’s the most popular feature by far. Visitors enjoy finding out and investigating what’s not good for them. In accordance with astrological omens, Scorpio, I invite you to use this as an inspirational metaphor as you take inventory of influences that are not good for you. Every now and then, it’s healthy to acknowledge what you don’t need and shouldn’t engage with.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Sagittarian Tom Rath is an inspirational author who at age 49 has managed to stay alive even though he has wrangled with a rare disease since he was 16. He writes, “This is what I believe we should all aim for: to make contributions to others’ lives that will grow infinitely in our absence. A great commonality we all share is that we only have today to invest in what could outlive us.” That’s always good advice for everyone, but it’s especially rich counsel for you Sagittarians in the coming months. I believe you will have a special capacity to dispense your best gifts to those who need and want them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorn writer Susan Sontag was a public intellectual. She was an academic with a scholarly focus and an entertaining commentator on the gritty hubbub of popular culture. One of my favorite quotes by her is this one: “I like to feel dumb. That’s how I know there’s more in the world than me.” In other words, she made sure her curiosity and open-mindedness flourished by always assuming she had much more to learn. I especially recommend this perspective to you in the coming weeks.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The Salem Witch Trials took place in Massachusetts from 1692 to 1693. They were ignorant, superstitious prosecutions of people accused of practicing witchcraft. The modern holiday known as Freethought Day happens every October 12, the anniversary of the last witch trial. The purpose of this jubilee is to encourage us to treasure objective facts, to love using logic and reason, and to honor the value of critical thinking. It’s only observed in America now, but I propose we make it a global festival. You Aquarians are my choice to host this year’s revelries in celebration of Freethought Day. You are at the peak of your ability to generate clear, astute, liberating thoughts. Show us what it looks like to be a lucid, unbiased observer of reality.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

A YouTube presenter named Andy George decided to make a chicken sandwich. But he didn’t buy the ingredients in a store. He wanted to make the sandwich from scratch. Over the next six months, he grew wheat, ground it into flour and used it to bake bread. He milked a cow to make cheese and butter. He got sea salt from ocean water and grew a garden of lettuce, cucumber, tomato and dill for toppings. Finally, he went to a farm, bought a chicken and did all that was necessary to turn the live bird into meat for the sandwich. In describing his process, I’m not suggesting you do something similar. Rather, I’m encouraging you to be thorough as you solidify your foundations in the coming months. Gather resources you will need for long-term projects. Be a connoisseur of the raw materials that will assure future success in whatever way you define success.

AUDIT ASSOCIATE:

urban LIVING

If You’re Homeless

We’ve had unseasonably warm fall weather, but cold is coming. Imagine if you lost your job, had a medical episode and no insurance, couldn’t make your rent for a few months and ended up on the streets here. Where would you go to seek shelter?

Salt Lake City, UT 84111

During the Great Depression in the early 1930’s, Utah’s unemployment rate was 36%—the fourth highest in the nation—and we had homeless tent cities (aka “Hoovervilles”) just like we find in the state today. Last year, Utah’s point in time count found about 3,700 individuals experiencing homelessness during one night in January.

The state has several shelters offering different services, including:

—The Rescue Mission, with emergency services and recovery programs. One can stay for three to four months while staff works to help you secure employment, save money and get into housing (Salt Lake location—463 S. 400 West; Ogden location—2775 Wall Ave.)

—Volunteers of America. This nonprofit runs several centers, including The Geraldine E. King Women’s Resource Center (at 131 E. 700 South) with shelter for up to 200 women, and the Youth Resource Center for individuals age 15-22 (888 S. 400 West).

—The Road Home oversees the Pamela Atkinson Men's Resource Center (3380 S. 1000 West, SLC), The Gail Miller Resource Center (242 W. Paramount Ave., SLC), and the Connie Crosby Family Resource Center, aka the Midvale Family Resource Center (529 W. 9th Ave., Midvale).

—Catholic Community Services, which provides daytime refuge at the Weigand Resource Center (437 W. 200 South) for those who are unsheltered and a warm place in the winter to stay out of the cold.

—Lantern House (269 W. 33rd St., Ogden) is the largest shelter in Northern Utah. Men, women, families and pets are welcome. Iron County’s Care & Share Emergency Shelter program houses around 400 individuals and families per year suffering from housing instability (244 W. 900 N., Cedar City). Moab doesn’t have a general shelter but has a domestic emergency shelter for female and adolescent survivors and a few non-profits who can assist in finding emergency shelter.

—Switchpoint Community Resource Center in St. George (948 N. 1300 West) is Southern Utah’s go-to shelter. They are also in charge of the 50 micro shelters for the winter that just opened up at 548 S. 700 West in Salt Lake City, the second year in a row for this program that was funded by our Legislature.

You can call the Homeless Connections Hotline at 801-999-9999 for bed availability at shelters in the state.

If you’re not suffering from lack of housing, consider donating to any of these programs this winter—either with money, foodstuffs and clothes or by volunteering your time. Or do a food/clothing drive at your office, neighborhood or condo complex. Most of these groups always need donations and many have food banks connected to

community. n

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. Structural material

6. Nehi offering

15. “Somewhere Only We Know” performers (2004)

16. Stopped oneself

17. Element #18

18. Up against it

19. West of “Futurama”

20. Helper, for short

21. “Agreed”

22. Mellow

23. Baryshnikov’s former dance co.

25. Blender brand

26. Scottish veto

27. Withdrawn

31. Preparing it may involve a snap

34. Mandatory

37. Spots for scritches

39. “___ are rarely the protagonists in the English novel, but they are oddly abundant in its margins.” (2017 essay in The Conversation)

41. “Still ___” (1999 track ft. Snoop Dogg)

42. Off-schedule

43. H, as in Greek

45. Pastor’s nickname

46. Fashion designer Cassini

47. Tomato variety

50. “The Hobbit” setting

52. Court order?

54. Well-connected Bacon

55. Greeting to new arrivals

56. Upright, as posture

57. Waiting areas

58. “Tiny Bubbles” singer from Hawaii

DOWN

9. Nitwit, to a Brit

10. Take a course?

11. Resists squirminess

12. Airing when old networks would’ve signed off for the day, maybe

13. Found to be

14. Snake with a puff variety

24. Goddess, box, and cornrow, for example

25. Radical that’s C8H17 (with more focus on the 8)

28. “All done”

29. Robins, outside of the U.S.

30. Optimally

1. Musicians that suggest you pick it up?

2. Actress with the autobiography “Speedbumps: Flooring It Through Hollywood”

3. Vision of near-perfection?

4. Unstable chemical compound

5. Lotte ___ of “The Threepenny Opera”

6. Long-necked wader with about a fivefoot wingspan

7. Deep sleep states

8. Edwards and Lackland, e.g.

32. Netflix series that spawned a Netflix reality show

33. Full of wordplay

35. Like some Internet searches and surreal art, these days

36. Prospectors’ reaction after striking gold, maybe

38. 53 minutes past

39. Brawl setting in Westerns

40. Like jigsaw puzzles and some lumber

42. 2017 role for Margot

44. Set a price at

47. Start again

48. Twistable cookie

49. Seriously harm

51. Deli sandwich

53. ___ y tierra burrito (steak and shrimp option)

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

NEWS of the WEIRD

Creme de la Weird

Sean Edward Uribe, 35, was arrested on Sept. 12 in the wake of two incidents at Miami clothing stores, The Smoking Gun reported. During the first, at a Ross Dress for Less in June, Uribe allegedly used a medical syringe to squirt a substance on the back of the shorts of a juvenile as he recorded with his phone, police said. Witnesses alerted store employees and the victim as Uribe fled the scene. In late August at a Marshalls store, Uribe allegedly struck again, this time targeting an adult woman to “spray an unknown substance on the victim’s left buttocks area,” police said. When Uribe was taken into custody, he confessed and said the liquid in the syringes was moisturizing lotion. Then he called his father, as police listened, and instructed him to go to his house and remove hard drives. “Put them under lock and key,” he said. Officers got there first and seized the drives, along with loaded syringes. So far, he’s been charged with battery on a child, two misdemeanor battery counts and tampering with evidence.

Awesome!

n In November, Stack’s Bowers Galleries in Boston will offer an extremely rare three-pence coin from 1652 for auction, CBS News reported. The coin, which was minted in Boston at the Hull Mint, was purchased from a shop in the Netherlands. It is one of only three known coins like it, one of which was stolen and hasn’t been seen since. Store manager Stanley Chu expects it to fetch well over $1 million.

n Student volunteers were helping with an archaeological dig in Eu, France, when one of them found a small glass bottle inside an earthenware pot, United Press International reported on Sep. 24. Inside the bottle was a message, written in Jan. 1825, from one “P.J. Féret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies.” Féret was carrying out excavations at the same site and left the message for future explorers. “It was an absolutely magic moment,” said Guillaume Blondel, head of the town’s Archaeology Service. Local records revealed that Féret was a well-known archaeologist of his time. Blondel said such finds are rare: “Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work.”

The Golden Age of Air Travel

A Scandinavian Airlines flight from Oslo, Norway, to Malaga, Spain, was diverted to Copenhagen, Denmark, on Sept. 18 after a mouse crawled out of a passenger’s in-flight meal, the BBC reported. Jarle Borrestad, who was sitting next to the passenger whose meal harbored the rodent, told the BBC that people on board remained calm, but he put his socks over his pant legs so the mouse couldn’t crawl up his leg. Øystein Schmidt, SAS spokesperson, said such events happen “extremely rarely”; passengers were transferred to another plane and went on their way.

Oops

On Sept. 24, as the Kamloops, British Columbia, city council met in the council chambers, someone zooming in online queued up a pornographic video clip while sharing their screen, the CBC reported. The council’s public participation segment of the meeting allows people to ask questions or comment on agenda items, but councilman Bill Sarai said Tuesday’s incident was the final straw for him. “It’s really swayed far, far away from what it’s meant to be,” Sarai said. He wants to eliminate the public portion of the meeting and ask the public to interact through email or in-person meetings.

It’s Good To Have a Hobby

Joshua Kiser of Breinigsville, Pennsylvania, was looking for something to amuse himself during the COVID shutdown in 2020 when he came across an idea: “I stumbled upon a picture of the eccentric man posing with a gigantic top hat on his head,” Kiser said, referring to Odilon Ozare, who set the record for World’s Tallest Hat in 2018. Kiser thought it would be easy to surpass Ozare’s 15-foot, 9-inch hat, but it wasn’t until this year that he managed to engineer one, at 17 feet, 9.5 inches, that could withstand a walk of the required 32.8 feet while wearing it. United Press International reported that his final, winning design incorporated lightweight guttering and a Philadelphia Eagles trash can that “looked about the circumference of my noggin.”

Freaky

A 27-foot-tall puppet in the shape of a seated baby has been installed in the center of Rochdale, England, the BBC reported on Sept. 25. The baby, named Lilly, with a mouth and eyes that open and shut, is part of a council project to encourage children to talk about the importance of the environment. Ostensibly, the kids will speak to Lilly; their conversations will be recorded and broadcast from the baby at an event on Oct. 24 at Hollingworth Lake Nature Park. But townsfolk aren’t warming up to Lilly, calling it “the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” One said, “It’s creepy with its eyes shut, never mind open.” No telling how school-aged kids will react to it.

Overreaction

Wendy Washik, a 58-year-old woman from Simcoe, Ontario, Canada, was taken into custody on Sept. 1 and charged with assault with a weapon, the CBC reported. The charges stemmed from an incident at a backyard party when Washik, who was playing with a child, accidentally shot a neighbor with a water gun while he mowed his lawn. Washik said she apologized repeatedly, but the “victim” “wouldn’t listen to me and ... was screaming at me.” She said police “didn’t ask me a single question. They didn’t ask to see the water gun.” Washik's next court date is in December.

Send your weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com

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