Issue 2 2018

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ave you ever noticed how invigorating it is at the beginning of a new season? We make “starting over” plans and declare, “It’s going to be the best season ever!” Until we get to a few days in where our speech may change to, “Ah, here we go again.” The thrill wears off. Even in our Christian walk.

Is it possible that our enthusiasm was based on what’s going on around us and not what’s going on inside us? Maybe we based our feelings on what everyone else is saying, and not so much our own discovery, walking someone else’s path and ignoring our own pace. For it to be the best season or the best of anything, we have to feel it on the inside to show effect on the outside. Furthermore, we can’t have the best of anything when our mind thinks the worst and we do not consult our guides, the Bible and the Holy Spirit. Former president of the United States of America, Ronald Reagan, said, “Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.” And we add a resounding amen! The Bible is given to us for this life. It’s the only book that holds the past, present, and future of man. We should consult it for our daily needs. And for it to be the best season ever, we should start very simple; “Love the Lord our God and love our neighbor.” (Matthew 22:37; 39.) We want to thank God and our sponsors for taking us to our tenth year. Yes, it has not been easy, but thanks to some faithful sponsors and a faithful God, we made it! Like a runner we set out in March 2008 for the task, and printed our first issue by July 2008. Then two years and twelve publications later, we were ready to quit. But, with encouragement and some more funding, we continued. Then ready again for quitting, then running again! Ah, “the race is not for the swift... but for those who endure”(Ecclesiastes 9:11). We have endured. Thank God and our sponsors; some we have had on board from the magazine’s inception, and some came on along the way! We will continue to trust God to keep us going for many more years. May you learn to trust the Savior. He went willingly to the cross to pardon your sin and free you from bondage. His ultimate purpose is to see you grow in grace. Happy Easter! Karen E. Chin

MANAGING EDITOR Karen E. Chin CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Ravella Melville CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Dee Burrows EK Jasmine Ewart (Junior) Forde Kassie Walls Krystyna Chin Ralph F. Wilson (Dr.) SPECIAL CONTRIBUTION Brooke McGlothlin Erin Macpherson Focus on the Family GIS Hettie Brittz Joanne Kraft Jasmyn Kahawai Kathi Lipp Kim Wier Kristen Young Marcia Fry Nicky Gangemi Nicole Brodrecht Shana Schutte Susan Allman Trevathan Tony Evans (Dr.) GRAPHIC PRODUCTION IDEAS SALES DEPARTMENT Andrel Cooper Email: clmsales7@gmail.com CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE Building D4, Suite 5, Countryside Shopping Village Savannah, Grand Cayman CAYMAN ISLANDS +(345) 926 2507 or +(345) 946 1737 E: karen.chin@cstylemagazine.com www.cstylemagazine.com TO CONTACT THE EDITOR If you have questions, wish to comment, or participate, or be a contributor; please contact The Editor, c/o Christian Lifestyle Magazine, Box 1217 KY1-1108 Grand Cayman, CAYMAN ISLANDS BWI. Send email to editor@cstylemagazine.com. WEBSITE www.cstylemagazine.com


C O N T E N T S WHY KIDS NEED BOUNDARIES

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THE BOLD INTIMACY OF GETHSEMANE

COVER STORY

Mothering with Justice and Mercy 7 Signs Your Budget Needs a Fresh Start 7 No Patchwork 8 Finding Easter in Bunnies and Baskets 10 Why Kids Need Boundaries

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SHIFT YOUR SELF IMAGE

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22 Cover Story The Bold Intimacy of Gethsemane 26 On a Mission for God! 27 Cayman Islands Health Services 28 Discovering Your God-Given

Purepose 30 Seeking God 34 It’s Just a Thought! Is it Legal? 12-15 Teen Vibez 36 Shift Your Self Image • The 90 Percents • New Year, New You? 38 8 Small Resolutions that can • Four Resolutions for Your New Year Change Your Family • What Example are You Setting? 40 Nation Heros Day 2018 43 CROSSWORD PUZZLE 16 Empower to Be ... Normal 44 Kids Korner 18 Why Easter Matters 45 Wordsearch 20 Biblical Perspective on Debt


MOTHERING WITH JUSTICE AND MERCY BY ERIN MACPHERSON

EFFECTIVE BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE “Mom, can I go outside and play soccer?” my son, Joey, hollered as he walked down the stairs. “Did you finish folding your laundry?” “Of course!” He flashed me a big smile as he walked out the door. Awhile later I went upstairs in search of my laundry basket, only to find it stuffed in Joey’s closet—full of wrinkled clothes. I was livid. Perhaps Joey deserved to do all the laundry in the house ... for the next 12 years! And while he was sorting and folding, he could be reciting Proverbs 12:19, “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.”

A MOTHER’S GRACE But then I remembered a similar incident from when I was young. Before school, my mom asked me if I had brushed my teeth. I smiled my best smile and said, “Of course!” and I headed out the door. Just one problem: I hadn’t touched my toothbrush. 4

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When I got home later that day, I noticed a pink package with a tag that read, “To Erin. Love, Mom.” Why would my mom buy me a present? I tore open the package and found a Christian novel. Inside was a simple note telling me to enjoy the book and then discuss it with my mom when I was finished reading. A few hours later, I knew why she had bought me that present. The protagonist of the story was a young girl who had lied to her teacher about cheating. She told untruth after untruth until everything in her life was more complicated than if she had confessed the truth from the start. I finished the book—and went to talk with my mom. She didn’t yell at me. She didn’t even dole out the punishment I deserved. We just talked about how God calls us to be honest and sincere, and about how a single lie often turns into a web of lies. The conversation I had with my mom that day was life-changing.

GOD’S GRACE

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

When we sin, Jesus doesn’t give us what we deserve. He treats us with mercy. He forgives us. He gently guides us toward what is right, showing us what it means to have a heart that seeks after him. Yes, justice is a part of mothering, but we can also show God’s mercy to our children. I recognize that teaching our kids to desire to please God is much more complicated than giving them a list of rules to follow. But when a child has a behavior problem, we as mothers can: 1) stop; 2) consider the situation; and 3) move prayerfully toward Jesus so we don’t


hinder what he wants to impress on our children’s hearts. As we finish the third step, we can ask Jesus to create a desire for his righteousness in our kids. These three simple steps can have heart-altering implications.

to the house, I placed my arm around his shoulders and quietly asked him if he had any idea why I was calling him inside.

(Proverbs 2:20). We prayed. He asked for forgiveness. I forgave him. And then I let it go.

Back to that day with Joey. I prayed that my words and actions would help his heart grow tender. The goal was for Joey to learn to desire truth more than convenience.

I felt his shoulders sag beneath my embrace. Then I saw the shimmer of tears.

Later Joey commented, “Hey, Mom, I just ... um ... want to say thank you for helping me today. I love you.”

We walked into the house and upstairs to his room, where I pulled the laundry basket out of his closet. Together we folded the clothes, talking about the importance of honesty, about how Jesus calls us to walk in the way of the good and to keep on the path of righteousness

“I love you, too, Joey.”

Then I walked out to the field and called for Joey to come home. As we walked back

Erin MacPherson is the author or coauthor of several books, including Put the Disciple Into Discipline.

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7 SIGNS YOUR BUDGET NEEDS A FRESH START 4. ROBBING YOURSELF TO PAY YOURSELF

Are you constantly borrowing from one envelope to pay another? Or swiping your debit card for unplanned items just because there’s money in your bank account? Either your budget has a problem, or you do. If it’s you, then you’re buying impulsively and need to practice some delayed gratification. If it’s your budget, then you aren’t being realistic. Make your budget practical—not just pretty.

5. FORGETTING ABOUT ANNUAL EXPENSES

A sloppy budget is a lot like a car that won’t start. It may look nice, but if it doesn’t take you where you need to go, what’s the point? Planning a monthly budget takes time and practice, and it needs to be refreshed every now and then. It’s time to look under the hood and get your budget working for you again. Here are seven signs you need to refresh your monthly budget.

1. WITHDRAWING CASH BEFORE YOU BUDGET

It’s the first of the month. You have no cash and need groceries—like, yesterday. Why not swing by the ATM, grab some cash, and do the budget later? Because you’ll forget! And without a plan, you’ll end up wasting your money on things you don’t need. So before the month begins, have your budget ready. If you wait, it won’t get done.

2. NOT GIVING OFF THE TOP (OR AT ALL)

If you want to win with money, you have to give. It’s as simple as that. When you give off the top of a well-managed budget, you may be surprised to find that living on less can actually feel like you have more. That’s because managed money works harder. Charitable giving should always be the first line on your monthly budget.

3. CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT “UNEXPECTED” BIG PURCHASES

You need an emergency fund. It’s impossible to know when you’re going to need to patch up the roof, replace the dryer, or tune up the air-conditioning on your car. Having an emergency fund will help you be prepared for life’s curveballs. Your budget will help you consistently put aside money each month for your emergency fund. As it grows, you’ll feel peace of mind knowing you have a buffer between you and the twists and turns of life. Your budget will keep you prepared for the unknown.

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Dentist visits, pet shots, car insurance, birthdays—these annual expenses can leave you dipping into your emergency fund if you’re not careful. Instead of stealing from your savings, create a budgeting “cheat sheet” where you list annual expenses and the months they’re due. Leave your emergency fund intact by budgeting with the big picture in mind.

6. SPENDING TOO MUCH IN ONE CATEGORY

Are you spending half your budget on takeout? Straighten out your spending by giving each budgeted category a specific percentage. We recommend 10–15% for food, 25–35% on housing, 10–15% to savings, and 10–15% on charitable giving. And make sure your entire monthly budget—including clothing, transportation, insurance, and entertainment— equals 100%. No matter what!

7. USING THE SAME BUDGET EVERY MONTH

Because there’s no such thing as “the perfect month,” a onesize-fits-all budget won’t cut it. You have to make a new budget every single month. It’s fine to look at last month’s budget for direction, but expenses change with the seasons. Set aside a specific time to review and revise your budget before the month begins and stop expecting an old plan to work for new expenses. Having good intentions with your money is a step in the right direction, but it won’t get you far. Reevaluate your budget and fix the areas that aren’t working. It’s never too late for a fresh start. SOURCED: WWW.DAVERAMSEY.COM


NO PATCHWORK

BY EK JASMINE

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ow much of your thoughts are now occupied with things that are outside of your control?

We worry about what could happen, might happen, and sometimes, what might have been. We worry whether people will like us or won’t. We worry about a new day and what it will bring, even before it gets here. So much so that we sometimes totally miss the fact that we have been granted another day to accomplish new things; to find new perspectives. We shouldn’t carry over our hurts and turmoil of yesterday into our today. This is a sure way to miss the beauty of the newness we have been given. Learn how to un-occupy yourself with yesterday. The best way to start is to look at your surroundings. Find something that wasn’t there yesterday to help center your mind on today. Occupying yourself with issues out of your control will never change the situation, only change you. Worry makes us at odds with ourselves and others. We tend to be rather icy around others when we are worrying or full of fear. We even judge our relationships with others through our worrying, which may cause us to try to fix everyone except ourselves. Another issue of worrying is that we will damage new relationships or new opportunities with our old mistrusts or anxieties. This will cause us to stretch the fabric of our hearts, causing irrevocable damage. Did you know that if you try to

patch new fabric with old, it will cause a bigger tear when it rips? You will end up losing both the old and the new. In order to un-occupy ourselves of worrying, we should give thanks for new opportunities; new days. Expect new prospects with our new day. Do not be terrified to welcome a new year, a new job, or new people in your life. Challenge yourself to work with newness. Remember, Jehovah God promised to do a new thing. To give you a new life, new hope. To renew his contract with you with a new covenant, one that will bear a new name. When the Master Builder occupies your house, everything shall be made new. Not a patchwork! [He will do] a new thing (Isaiah 43:19). [He will give you] a new name (Isaiah 62:2). [He will give you] a new life (Romans 6:4). [He will sign] a new covenant (Jeremiah 31:31). [He will make] all things new (Revelation 21:5). Jehovah Shammah, thank you for being here with me. You promised to make all things new for me. You have even given me your name and called me your child. Open my eyes to see all the newness you have made for me. In the name of Jesus. Amen. Copyright©2018 EK Jasmine From the book Daily Benefits

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FINDING EASTER IN BUNNIES AND BASKETS

BY KIM WIER 8

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If you have walked through store aisles lately, you’ve seen many reminders that Easter is coming. What isn’t so obvious is that, for Christians, Easter is truly the most significant day of the year. At the store we find: • baskets and eggs as the symbols of Easter, instead of a cross and an empty tomb • a bunny that brings candy instead of a Savior who brings life Is it any wonder that our children are more excited about the coming of the Easter Bunny than about the coming of God’s kingdom? We spend many days on egg-coloring and baskets, but focus on Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection for only one hour on Sunday morning. Many parents, however, are looking for ways to make the true significance of Easter a reality to their children. Well, here’s the good news! Bunnies, eggs, baskets, and more can become tools that parents use to bring a greater understanding of the message of Easter. With just a little creativity, all these symbols that often replace the real significance of Easter can be the very things that make the holiday full and rich with spiritual meaning.

TELL THE STORY OF EASTER WITH EGGS Instead of merely coloring eggs this Easter, why not use the eggs to tell the story of God’s love and forgiveness? • Before you hide the eggs or put them in baskets, encircle each one with a colored strip of paper (or place the strip inside plastic eggs) that tells one small part of the Easter story. When the eggs have been found, the children must unscramble the story and put it in the right order. • Instead of decorating the eggs with dye, or in addition to dying them, write one attribute of Jesus on each egg. You can do this by writing on the egg with a crayon before you put it in the dye. If you are using plastic eggs,

you can write it with a permanent marker or paint pen. • Send kids on a hunt for the eggs that have Jesus’ attributes written on them. Instead of just discovering eggs, they will be discovering the wonderful things that make Jesus so special. If the eggs are plastic, fill them with treats to remember how sweet the life of Jesus really is. • Dye eggs in certain colors and use them to tell the story of salvation.

take time to simplify the story in a way they can understand. An explanation of some big words can help. For very young children, omitting the harder words altogether may reduce confusion.

TEACH THEM ABOUT JESUS BY TALKING ABOUT WHAT A REAL EASTER BUNNY IS.

Arrested: Guards took Jesus and would not let him go.

Use a rabbit picture, a stuffed bunny, or even a real one (if you are adventurous) to teach some of the characteristics of Jesus that we should all try to have. By adding a Bible verse to each quality, you will create a true Easter Bunny. Real Easter bunnies: • are white as snow because Jesus takes all sin away (Isaiah 1:18b). • are gentle, kind-hearted and forgiving (Ephesians 4:32). • have big ears that are quick to listen (James 1:19). • have big eyes to look carefully and choose what is good (1 Thessalonians 5:21). • have no voice for complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:13). • are quiet in prayer, but hop with thanksgiving and rejoicing (Philippians 4:4-6). • have big feet to go tell others about Jesus so they can be like Easter bunnies, too (Matthew 28: 19-20). • eat what is healthy by filling up on God’s word every day (Psalm 119:11).

THE EASTER STORY: DEFINING THE TERMS

Explain to your kids what these terms mean: • Disciples: Jesus’ closest friends • Pharisees and religious leaders: the people who were not teaching the truth about God

Sanhedrin or Court: Leaders all got together and decided that Jesus should be punished for telling the people that he was God’s Son. Righteous: Jesus told only the truth and did everything God wanted him to do. Condemned to death: Rulers announced that Jesus would have to die. Crucified: They nailed his hands and feet onto a big wooden cross. Tomb: A special place, like a small cave, where Jesus’ body was laid after he died. Resurrection: Even though Jesus had been dead for three days, God made him come back alive so his friends would know that Jesus really is God’s Son. Ascension: After Jesus came back to life and spent time with his friends, he was lifted up from the ground and floated above the clouds so he could finally go to be with God in heaven. Second Coming: When Jesus left to go back to heaven, the angels promised Jesus’ friends that he would be coming back one day to get all his friends.

We sometimes forget that our children don’t understand everything that is being said and done around them. Often, we take for granted that they understand things we have not explained. The Easter story, while beautiful, can be very confusing to children when we don’t CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

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WHY KIDS NEED BOUNDARIES by John Townsend We love our kids, but parenting them is a complex and often confusing task! To simplify things, it’s helpful to understand that we can reduce the job of parenting to one guiding principle: to equip our children to meet the demands of reality. One day, your children will need to face reality and handle it without your guidance. On their own, they will need to make mature choices to follow Christ; find great relationships to support their growth; set their core values and morals; handle romance, dating, marriage and family paths; and craft their passions and career. In other words, God’s plans for parenting are designed to take a small person, who is helpless and dependent, and over time, produce an adult who can make great choices and decisions: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). One of the most valuable tools you can use to help your kids develop, no matter what age they are, is that of healthy limits, also called boundaries. Research shows that children who experience a household of clear and appropriate boundaries, delivered with love and warmth, are much better equipped to meet the demands of reality over their lifespan. Why is this important and how do we set boundaries?

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HOW BOUNDARIES HELP Here are three key results that kids with boundaries learn.

A SENSE OF SELF Kids need to know that their thoughts, feelings, and choices are theirs so they can take responsibility for them. They flourish when they can know where they end and others, including parents, begin. This allows them to guard and take ownership over their lives: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23). That is why over-compliant children, whose only concern is pleasing their parents, often struggle greatly in their adult relationships. Help your kids have their own minds, even though they must also obey and follow the house rules.

SELF-CONTROL

Children are by nature impulsive and controlled by their whims. If you’ve ever taken your kid to a mall and given them lots of sugar, you have experienced this. Parents who help their kids have boundaries also teach them to control their impulses and focus on what needs to be done, such as homework and chores. This is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23) and will help them the rest of their lives.

GREAT RELATIONSHIPS Children need to know how to make friends with the right kinds of kids and to say no to the wrong kinds of kids. Boundaries help them know how to play


appropriately, instead of intruding on others’ space. They also help them say no to those wrong kinds of kids and habits that aren’t good for them.

HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES Boundaries are set through these four steps.

1. LOVE Convey to your children, with warmth and words, that you love them unconditionally. Kids embrace boundaries in an atmosphere of love rather than in one of emotional detachment or anger.

2. TRUTH

Give your kids clear ground rules for their behavior in your home, such as obeying parents, treating others respectfully, and doing chores and homework. Put these on a simple list on your fridge so your kids can easily see them.

remind our kids over and over to behave. But nagging without a consequence is useless. It simply trains them to ignore you until you give up or blow up. When you take them through the four steps, follow through with the consequence—and don’t give empty threats. Then hang around boundary-friendly parents. Our culture tends to move toward loving their kids without the hard work of helping them develop boundaries. So connect with other parents who believe in these principles. Share tips, wins and losses, and pray for each other. This will help fuel you for the ongoing task of raising kids with boundaries. Dr. John Townsend is the co-author, with Henry Cloud, of “Boundaries Updated.”

3. FREEDOM Tell your kids they can choose whether to obey the ground rules—that it’s up to them (except in common-sense urgent situations, such as a small child running into the street).

4. REALITY Let them know the consequences for following the ground rules and the consequences for not following them. Following means great times and freedom for your children. Not following can result in a range of outcomes, such as timeouts, loss of playdates, losing cell phone privileges, digital devices, or incurring stricter curfews. That is, they are free to choose, and through their choices, they are also choosing the outcome. As you move forward, resign from nagging. It’s tempting to CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

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THE 90 PERCENT

MOST OF LIFE IS FILLED WITH UNEVENTFUL, TOTALLY BORING TIMES. MAKE THE MOST OF THEM!

TEEN VIBEZ

BY JASMYN KAHAWAI In this age of social media, everyone posts about the cool things they are doing, cool places they are going to, and even cool things they are eating. All we get is a 140-character blurb, 15-second video, or a filtered, perfectly angled, amazing-looking snapshot. But when all we see are images or stories or videos of all-tooperfect and exciting lives, how does that make us feel? Boring. It makes us feel boring. It can even make us feel like we’re missing out, or something is wrong with us. We are told to live out our dreams, and we have adopted “You Only Live Once” as the slogan of our generation. What we haven’t been told is that a life with purpose and the road to our dreams is very, very plain. Don’t get me wrong; exciting times and dreams coming true are not a problem, especially when we are fulfilling our God-given dreams. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans that he has for us, which are plans to prosper, not harm us, and to give us a future and a hope (that certainly doesn’t sound boring at all). What we often fail to realize is that those moments of fun, excitement, and dream-come-true bliss are just that: moments. Just 5% of our life. Or 10% if we are lucky. The rest of the life is going to be unexciting, uneventful, routine, and boring, usually filled with hard work and mundane times. It’s true that 90% of life is plain, normal, and uneventful. But guess what: that is exciting! If we are intentional, those boring times are actually shaping us for those times we get to experience our most memorable and exciting moments.

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FOR A PURPOSE

BE INTENTIONAL

I know you are probably tired of hearing this, but everything really does happen for a reason. Even in the day-to-day activities. Take school, for example. Besides hanging with friends and the occasional special events, going to school every day is very plain. But school is a part of your story. What you learn, the experiences you have, and the lives you touch there will one day become a big part in God fulfilling your dreams.

With today’s pop culture and social media, it can make us feel like our life is inadequate. Do not fall into the trap of comparison! Even the images we see on Instagram are only the 5% moments of someone else’s life. While God can use our everyday lives to lead us to extraordinary things, he also looks for hearts focused on him. It is important that in our day-today lives, we remain intentional. When we start to feel that twinge that we aren’t living a cool enough life, refocus on God. Give your best in the boring, knowing it is shaping your future.

Waking up early to get to school is teaching you responsibility. Going through challenges in friendships builds grace and compassion. Overcoming hard times of doubt, loneliness, and low selfconfidence is building you into a great person full of strength, joy, and empathy. Even boring things such as learning to work hard on your studies teaches you diligence, and going to sports practice instead of a birthday party teaches you sacrifice. All these little things in life that seem uneventful or even painful are actually little puzzle pieces to your life and story. Think of it this way: God is making who you are today into who you are in the future, and that is pretty cool.

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

Give your all to your school, give your all to your chores, give your all to your practice, and give your all to your Bible study. One day, in those moments when your dreams do come true, you will look back and see how every little thing was connected. Faithfulness to a faithful God and living on purpose, even in the uneventful times, will all make sense. One of the most helpful verses to remember is this: “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9). What are you going to do with the 90% of your life?


NEW YEAR, NEW YOU?

ARE YOU READY FOR A FRESH START IN 2018? BY KRISTEN YOUNG

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k, I admit it. I am a MASSIVE stationery junkie. Notebooks, pens (even the smelly pens that make you think of grapes), battery-operated pencil sharpeners—I love, love, love it!

Going back to school often made me feel a little depressed after the fun of the holidays, but it was always made a little easier by that new stuff: the pencil case, pens, folders, and yes, the new, unwritten, pristine and clear diary. A new diary said lots of things. New year. New chances. New opportunities. Nothing tied down, no old burdens, just new, fresh, exciting times ahead. These days, I just use my phone and Google calendar to keep track of my diary [schedule] obligations, but there is still something exciting about an empty diary page.

WHAT HAS THE NEW YEAR MEANT FOR YOU? Now that you’re facing the back-to-school blues, are you looking forward to everything being the same as always, or are you hoping for a fresh start? I think sometimes we love the new year because we’re really yearning for what God wants to give us: a clean break. The past is often full of mistakes and burdens: things we did wrong, embarrassing times we desperately want to forget, hurtful things that others have done to us. The new year often promises to be a clean start, but often the problems travel with us—we still mess up, others still let us down, some people won’t let us forget. We’re still not in that restful place we call heaven.

A FRESH START The best news is that God offers us a REAL fresh start. Not a new diary that will be filled soon enough, but a new self—a redeemed, saved, re-born self. Our old created selves are weighed down with sin, so no matter how many new starts we try to make, we’re never going to be able to save ourselves. As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, ... But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. ~Ephesians 2:1,4-5 I am really grateful that God gave me a fresh start through Jesus. I know that he loves me, that Jesus died for me, and that because of that, I am forgiven and able to live as a member of God’s family. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20). I couldn’t make a fresh start for myself, but God was able to make me new through Jesus. Being alive with Christ is the best fresh start anyone can ever hope for. Is that the kind of fresh start you want to have, too?

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FOUR RESOLUTIONS FOR YOUR NEW YEAR HOW WILL YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD GROW IN 2018? BY NICKY GANGEMI

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. THEY DIVIDE PEOPLE.

TEEN VIBEZ

Some love them; it’s the beginning of the year, a chance to start afresh, to make changes and resolve to be better. Others hate them; they can never keep their resolutions, and think by making a resolution they are only setting themselves up for failure and disappointment. People make resolutions about all sorts of things, too; about a new diet, about a new exercise regimen, about making more time for family, or for friends, about working harder, about quitting a bad habit, about starting a new habit . . . all sorts of things. As Christians, why not use the start of a new year as an encouragement to start a new habit that will enrich and encourage us in our Christian walk and faith? Here are a few ideas for some New Year’s resolutions for 2018. • AIM TO READ THE BIBLE MORE REGULARLY DURING THE WEEK (THIS IS KNOWN AS A QUIET TIME). This is a great way to grow in your understanding of God and his revelation of himself in his Word, the Bible, throughout 2018. • PLEDGE TO MAKE PRAYER A REGULAR PART OF YOUR WEEKLY CHRISTIAN DIET. Talking to your Heavenly Father shows that you rely on him and that you want to thank him for the good

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things he gives you, and that you bring your concerns before him. • MAKE GOING TO CHURCH A PRIORITY FOR YOUR WEEK. Meeting with other Christians at church is something the Bible encourages us to do so we can build each other up and be a support to each other. • ORGANIZE TO MEET UP WITH ANOTHER CHRISTIAN TO READ THE BIBLE. You might be a newish Christian, so you could ask an older Christian to meet up with you throughout 2018 and read the Bible with you and help you learn a bit more. Or if you have been a Christian for a long time, maybe find someone who is younger in the faith than you and see if they might like to meet up with you and read the Bible with you this year. Remember, when making these resolutions, we are not making them on our own willpower and strength; we are standing firm in Jesus, and he has given us his Holy Spirit to help us (1 John 4:13), so pray that God will strengthen and help you to be able to grow and be able to keep the resolutions and changes you want to make for the new year!


WHAT EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING?

YOU MAY NOT REALIZE IT, BUT YOUNGER CHRISTIANS ARE LOOKING UP TO YOU. BY NICKY GANGEMI

A lot of the time, we want to be like someone we admire, someone who has come before us and has done that same thing. • Little girls and boys see superheroes on TV and want to be like them. • Young kids see their mum and dad getting ready for work and want to dress up and be like them. • Teens see the latest celebrity, pop star, or movie personality and want to be like them.

It is human nature that we copy those we think are great, awesome, or going places.

WHO’S COPYING YOU?

Have you ever thought about this copying idea before? Have you ever realized that your actions and decisions are being watched and potentially copied by the people who look up to you? You might be thinking, me? No one looks up to me. But stop for a moment and think. • Do you have little brothers or sisters? • Do you lead at crèche or kids’ church? • Are there people in your home group at school who are younger than you? Believe it or not, a lot of the time, these younger people look up to you and very often will mimic what you do or they will want to copy you. So think about this; if we are Christians, then most probably we will have younger Christians looking up to us at church, at school, or in our families. This is actually part of being in God’s family. We will have older Christians we look up

to, and there will be younger Christians who look up to us. So it is important for us to make decisions and live lives that glorify God. Primarily because this is what God calls us to do, but also because we want to be good examples to those who follow us. We want to be wise and think beyond our own situations and look to those around us, to consider how our actions may affect them.

WHAT EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR OTHERS?

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to live a perfect life, because we know that no one is perfect except Jesus. But it does help us to want to live in a way that pleases God and serves him. It also helps us think about how we belong to the body of Christ, and how our lives are no longer to be lived out for ourselves, but for God and for others. Here are a couple of questions for you to reflect on. • What examples am I setting for younger Christians who are coming after me? • How might the decisions I’m making affect the decisions of people who might be looking up to me?

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Image: DEBORAH KOLB / SHUTTERSTOCK

Empowered to Be . . . Normal Finding real power in a Spirit-shaped life (Part 1 of 2) by: Kelli B. Trujillo

Called. Empowered. Gifted. Uniquely made with a Godgiven purpose! Can’t you just hear the inspiring background music as you read those words? A swelling, triumphant anthem for a woman in a chic power suit . . . Chunky necklace, and trendy orange heels leading a boardroom in triumph. Or for some woman in a distant land who’s translating the Bible into a rare language while simultaneously caring for orphans and drilling wells. Or for a woman singing her heart out on stage, or speaking on stage to a packed house, or basically doing just about anything on stage with zillions of people wanting to see her or hear her or have their life amazingly changed by her. Or some other woman—you can 16

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Despite what we may think it means, empowerment isn’t actually about impressing others or living some exciting dream that puts normal to shame.

just plain dullness. Because you? Well, you’re just normal. Your life is. . . regular. You’re not doing anything amazing or article-worthy or arenapacking. And that doesn’t feel very “empowered,” does it?

Welcome to normal-town

picture whoever it is—who is “empowered.” Who is living out an amazing, exciting God-given dream. Who is following God’s calling on her life in a powerful way.

The truth is that a lot of us live in the less-than-exciting land of normal. We have our regular jobs or our ordinary childcare routines (or sometimes juggle both). Of course we have our dreams, our if-only-I-had-time-Iwould _____________ wishes, but they’re squeezed in or set aside or put off for later while we tackle our daily responsibilities.

While you, on the other hand? No swelling music accompanies those aforementioned words for you. Instead, they’re accompanied by a pit-in-the-stomach feeling of sadness or emptiness or disappointment or

And when you live on Ordinary Street, those “empowered” women with exciting stories can make regular ol’ us feel like total duds. Like somehow we aren’t doing what’s really important or aren’t living out God’s call for our

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lives. Like who we are and what we do just isn’t “enough.” But the truth is: God lives in normal. “The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood,” The Message reminds us (John 1:14). In the Incarnation, the glorious, all-powerful God clothed himself in normal and entered our ordinary world. He ate, he slept, he was part of a family and went about the regular business of living. Jesus’

Well, you’re just normal. Your life is. . . regular. You’re not doing anything amazing or article-worthy or arena-packing. earthy normality (alongside his supernatural divinity) christens our normal and brings sacredness to the ordinariness of our lives. But still, I must admit: I suffer from “calling envy” sometimes. I think all of us in Normal-town sometimes wish we lived in Exciting-ville or Radicalopolis. It can be difficult to feel “empowered” or like we’re living out God’s calling in our life if we’re in a season that feels run-of-the-mill. And yet what Scripture says of each of us remains irrevocably true: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV). God made us to join him in doing his good work in this world! To do the good he has prepared for each of us to do. To walk the unique path of our life in obedient and joyful submission to whatever those good-working

opportunities are that he gives us.

Real empowerment

Despite what we may think it means, empowerment isn’t actually about impressing others or living some exciting dream that puts normal to shame. It isn’t even about amazingly changing the world for God. Nope, biblical empowerment starts with fidelity to and connection with the true source of power within you: the Holy Spirit. It’s the power we find in noticing the Spirit’s leading, heading the Spirit’s guidance, and obeying the Spirit’s will. And while the Holy Spirit may be at work in others’ “exciting” lives, the Spirit also dwells deeply and richly in Normal-town, giving us a different understanding of what it really means to live an empowered life.

The power to humbly serve “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others,” Scripture urges us. Instead, “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:3–5). It takes tremendous strength to really live this out—and we find that power in and through the Holy Spirit. In our normal, everyday lives, we live truly empowered when we put others first. When we serve our families, often doing thankless jobs. When we treat coworkers with courtesy and humility. When we choose to pattern our attitude after Jesus who “humbled himself in obedience to God” (verse 8). Kelli B. Trujillo is editor of Today’s Christian Woman (Join us in the next issue for the conclusion.) Sourced from the Internet

Easter Sunday Joy By: Patrice D. Wilkerson

Easter Sunday is a very special holiday to me It’s a day filled with faith, fun and family It begins with worship at sunrise, which puts a smile on my face We gather at the park and reflect on Christ’s saving grace This is such a joyous occasion to be had by all The program is followed by breakfast at our fellowship hall Next comes the Easter Egg Hunt, oh what fun There are jelly beans, decorated eggs and kids who run, run, run It’s exciting to see the smiles on every girl and boy I love Easter Sunday because it brings me so much joy!

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WHY EASTER MATTERS BY DR. TONY EVANS

W

hen I look at world history, I imagine that it resembles a cosmic chess match between God and Satan, an epic series of moves and countermoves to determine the destiny of humankind.

We see it throughout Scripture: God makes a move, Satan counters with his move. God creates angels. Lucifer rebels against God and gets evicted from heaven, taking a bunch of angels with him. God creates people. Satan tempts them to sin, turning the earth over to his control. But God responds, providing a redemptive covering for his children.

his love. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Satan wants to draw us away from the reality of God’s love. It’s his oldest trick, getting humans to doubt the truth that God loves them. Help your kids recognize the reality of God’s love as they face a world that can often feel very unloving. The King of the universe loves us, and he demonstrated that love on the cross.

On it goes throughout the accounts of the Old Testament, through prophets and judges, kings and nations. No, this is not a battle between equal forces. Satan is the creature, God the Creator. And God has already announced Satan’s defeat (Genesis 3:15). But that doesn’t stop the enemy from trying to destroy God’s work and his people. Move, countermove, move.

PROOF OF FORGIVENESS

But then there seems to be a break—400 years between the Old and New Testaments. It must be God’s turn because Matthew opens with the lineage of Jesus Christ. And so God himself enters into human history.

According to Scripture, Christ’s resurrection serves as a sort of “receipt” from God to prove that our sins are forgiven. When we confess our sin and ask Jesus to be the Lord of our lives, salvation itself is already secure. But our kids may succumb to periods of doubt. Maybe they’ll feel guilty over this or that sin. Does God really forgive me for that?

Satan counterattacks, tempting Jesus in the wilderness and trying to sabotage his mission. And then Satan aims to deliver a definitive blow: He must destroy the Son of God. So one Friday, Jesus is crucified. We know the end of the story, of course. We celebrate it every year, dressing our children in their Sunday best and teaching them how Christ’s followers discovered that the tomb was empty. God made the real definitive move. Jesus was alive! It’s easy to view the resurrection as good news for yesteryear, a mere milestone of our faith. But Calvary is power for victorious living today. Although defeated, Satan still hopes to take us down with him. He prowls about, hoping to devour us and destroy our faith (1 Peter 5:8). That’s why we need a more complete understanding of what Christ’s death and resurrection have already accomplished for us. Help your kids manifest God’s victory today by teaching them four truths about Christ’s sacrifice.

Your kids probably understand a few economic principles. When they go shopping for something, they must pay for it. And when they pay, they get a receipt. This receipt validates the purchase. If there is ever a question about the item, the receipt proves that payment was made.

Issuing a receipt was actually God’s idea. Romans 4:25 says, “[He] was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.” The resurrection is God’s proof that Christ’s sacrifice was sufficient payment for our sins. This side of heaven, we will always deal with the consequences of sin. But help your kids recognize, every day, that the eternal bill has been paid. RESTORATION OF RELATIONSHIP In our family, we’ll often conclude prayers with “In Jesus’ name.” Do you pray the same way with your kids? It’s easy for it to become a reflex, a little tagline at the end of prayer. But the expression is a good opportunity to teach kids that Christ’s death and resurrection grants us a relationship with God.

How often do you say I love you to your children? Maybe it was just this morning, part of the farewell you tossed out as someone left the house. However it happens, you recognize that these words are not the only evidence of your love. Kids understand love when proclamation is backed by demonstration—your ability to meet them in the areas where they are struggling or need comfort, your capacity to offer the time they crave with you.

Scripture says that Jesus stands before the Father as our advocate (1 John 2:1). Why do we need this representation? Because sin has broken our fellowship with God. And Satan is constantly bringing these transgressions before God, knowing his holiness is incompatible with our sin (Revelation 12:10). Satan wants God to reject us. Help your kids imagine a courtroom, with Satan pacing before God, laying out sins as evidence against us. Now imagine Jesus stepping forward: “Father, I object. I have already paid for these transgressions at the cross. The defendant is one of those I have redeemed and restored.”

We understand love through action. Thankfully, God isn’t just about talk. He lovingly provides for our needs and lends us his wisdom and direction every day. But the real evidence came at Calvary when God laid everything on the line to demonstrate

When your family prays “in Jesus’ name,” remember that this isn’t just a cute catchphrase. You are saying, “God, I come to you and lay these requests before you. But since I’m not qualified, I come under the righteousness of your Son.”

EVIDENCE OF GOD’S LOVE

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VICTORY FOR THE FUTURE The only power Satan has over us is what we give him. He knows he is a defeated enemy, crushed at the cross and the empty tomb of Christ. Help your kids understand that our enemy needs our cooperation to sustain any attack. I once heard a story about a father and son back in the pioneer days who were trying to outrun a fast-moving prairie fire. The fire was about to consume their wagon when the father turned the horse around and went to a spot that had already been burned. He told his son to jump out of their wagon and stay put. His son said, “But the fire is all around us!” The father explained: “This spot has already been burned. The fire can’t get us here.” It’s a good picture to help kids understand the victory over sin that Jesus gives us. He has already been “burned” at the cross so we don’t have to be. There will always be temptations to sin. But Jesus has endured it all—temptation without failure, punishment without cause. The devil’s fire can’t harm us as long as we are standing firm in Jesus. This Easter, help your kids remain close to Jesus, to his Word and his teachings. Satan has no countermove to stop what God has already done. Dr. Tony Evans is the president of The Urban Alternative, an organization that seeks to bring about spiritual renewal in urban America. He is the best-selling author of books such as Raising Kingdom Kids.

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BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ON DEBT What do the Scriptures say about people who find themselves owing a lot of money? Like most of our friends, my husband and I are carrying a certain amount of debt. Does thisa place us completely outside the will of God? There are many popular misconceptions about the scriptural teaching on debt. People often assume that the Bible takes certain positions, which in fact, it does not. The following list is not all-inclusive, but it’s a good starting point, since most misunderstandings are rooted in one of these faulty assumptions. 1. IT DOESN’T SAY … IT’S A SIN TO BORROW. While the Bible offers many warnings about the dangers of debt, it never says that you are out of God’s will or violating one of God’s commandments when you borrow. We can debate the wisdom of incurring

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debt under certain circumstances, but it’s never a black-and-white issue. And there are cases where debt is simply unavoidable—medical emergencies, job layoffs, or bankruptcy, for instance. Romans 13:8 is often used to “prove” that borrowing is sinful, but this verse is primarily concerned with relationships, not money issues. 2. IT DOESN’T SAY … IT’S WISE TO BORROW. Nowadays, you can find many financial pundits who will tell you that leverage—the use of borrowed money to buy assets for appreciation—is the way to prosperity. It goes without saying that this is not a biblical perspective. Absolutely nowhere in the Scriptures are we advised or commanded to use debt to accomplish God-given economic goals. On the contrary, the Bible contains many warnings against the use of debt.


3. IT DOESN’T SAY …GOD WILL BAIL YOU OUT OF DEBT. Some Christians who are heavily indebted seem to have the impression that God has promised to get them out of their problems. The verse most often cited is Philippians 4:19: “And my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” That promise is true, of course, and God will meet our needs. But he hasn’t pledged himself to cancel the consequences of our unwise behavior. 4. IT DOESN’T SAY … DEBT IS AN EXERCISE IN FAITH. To say that we’re exercising faith by borrowing money is the same as saying that God needs to use a lender to meet our needs. In fact, in many cases, we put the lender in the place of God and allow him to fulfill the desires of our hearts as opposed to our true needs. In some ways, this can be interpreted as a denial of faith. 5. IT DOESN’T SAY …IT’S A SIN TO LOAN MONEY. Just as the Bible doesn’t say that it’s a sin to borrow money, it also doesn’t say that it’s a sin to loan money. Nevertheless, it’s important to remember that when you loan someone money, you inevitably change your relationship with that person, even if he or she is your own child. And the change usually isn’t for the better. What, then, does the Bible have to say about debt? This is an extremely important question, since there are circumstances under which certain key biblical principles seem almost to compel us to borrow money. For instance: in 1 Timothy 5:8, Paul writes, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” What does this mean for parents who don’t have ready cash on hand to pay for a child’s emergency surgery or arrange nursing care for an aging loved one? Clearly, it’s possible to find ourselves in situations where the implied command to care for family members may outweigh all other financial considerations. Sometimes we must incur debt in order to adequately care for our own.

declare bankruptcy? Not necessarily. Our legal system allows individuals and businesses in distress to regroup and re-establish themselves under the protection of bankruptcy laws. Ultimately, however, a believer has a moral obligation to repay his or her creditors to the best of their ability. 2. IT’S FOOLISH TO PUT YOURSELF IN A SURETY SITUATION. In case a definition is required, surety is a formal commitment to guarantee another person’s loan (for example, by cosigning). Proverbs 11:15 says, “He who puts up security for another will surely suffer, but whoever refuses to strike hands in pledge is safe.” If you’re in a surety situation, the Bible advises you to waste no time in getting out of it. If you feel you have no choice—for example, if you’re helping an adult child who is financially strapped—we recommend that you set aside the money in a separate account and absolutely expect to repay that debt. If you don’t, you may find yourself in violation of Psalm 37:21 (see #1 above). 3. DEBT MAY VIOLATE TWO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES THAT DIRECTLY AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. First, while the Bible does not say it’s wrong to borrow money, it does warn us against presuming upon the future. “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit;’ whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that” (James 4:13-15). Second, by borrowing, you may be denying God an opportunity to provide. The Lord has promised to supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19). Sometimes borrowing is just an easy way out of a situation that would otherwise force us to grow in our faith.

If and when we are obliged to incur debt, there are three important biblical concepts that should govern our borrowing decisions. 1. IT’S WRONG NOT TO REPAY DEBTS. Psalm 37:21 states, “The wicked borrow and do not repay.” The conclusion is obvious: if you don’t repay your debts, you’re what the Bible calls “wicked.” Does this mean it is always wrong for a Christian to CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

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COVER STORY

THE BOLD INTIMACY OF GETHSEMANE BY DR. RALPH F. WILSON 22

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Sometimes I wonder why the Garden of Gethsemane is included in the gospels. Frankly, it’s easy to misunderstand. Jesus is struggling, sweating profusely, so torn up inside, so exposed, so human.

about that. Occasionally, when I sin, God gives me eyes to see how desperate, how corrupt, how utterly bankrupt I am in my sin. Like a painted, worn-out prostitute trying to look pretty, but failing miserably.

At first glance, Jesus seems weak, actually asking the Father to help him back out of the plan forged in heaven before the beginning of time. Is he afraid to die? Many brave men and women have faced death, even difficult deaths. Is he weaker than they? The answer, I believe, can be discovered in Jesus’ own words.

Jesus’ mission, should he choose to accept it, was to bear my ugly sins. And then yours. And then multiply that by billions and billions. “The sin of many.”

James J. Tissot, My Soul is Exceedingly Sorrowful unto Death (1884-96), gouache on board, Brooklyn Museum, New York.

But to carry out that mission, he would be forever stained. Have you ever tried to wash the smell out of a plastic garbage pail? Try as you will, the stink still lingers. And for Jesus to bear our stink, our sins, would demand a break with his Holy Father.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”1

From before the beginning, the Son and the Father have enjoyed each other’s presence. They have basked in fellowship

“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.”2

“After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.... and made intercession for the transgressors.”3 These sayings teach us that, as Jesus looked forward to his own death, he understood it a ransom, that is, a payment to set others free. He also saw his death as bearing the sins of many—our sins. Sin isn’t pretty—or petty. Oh, our world dresses it up as cleverness, as happiness, as fulfillment. But despite its many deceitful faces, sin at its root is about asserting power. It is rebellion against God’s authority, an undermining of his kingdom. Sin is turning up our nose at God and doing what we want in spite of what he says—and there’s nothing pretty

Then Jesus stands and awakens his disciples to face his destiny. “Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”5 Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemane is explained by his lonely cry at Golgotha. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”6 These words recall the beginning words of Psalm 22, an amazing psalm that prefigures many of the events of the cross. Jesus’ final words from the cross, however, are words of hope. “It is finished.”7 We have done it, Father, at huge cost to both you and me. It is finished. The ransom is paid, the stain of sin is borne away from the people we love. It is finished. His last words also look forward in hope, in faith: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”8 The Father’s hands are strong enough to hold both him and us, even in our most devastating moments, even when we don’t feel his presence at all.

“For many.” The phrase seems strange until you realize that Jesus is recalling those same words found twice in Isaiah 53, the chapter that prophesies Jesus’ death for our sins.

He bore the sin of many,

people we both love. Jesus models for us disciples what it means to follow, to obey even when we don’t fully understand.

and unity and love. But the cross utterly shatters that fellowship, because God’s holiness cannot cohabitate with sin. I think it’s that specter that disturbs Jesus so deeply in Gethsemane—the loss of his Father, even if for a short time. And revulsion at what sin will do to him, he who has never had it stain his life before. He faces our multiplied sins, heaped up upon him to no end. So Jesus pleads in the Garden, “Father, is there no other way?” He cries out, he searches, he asks in a bold intimacy. And then he surrenders afresh: “Not my will, but yours.”4 Not my desire to avoid desolation, and sin, and corruption, but your difficult and only way to save the

Saturday is quiet; it is Sabbath in Jerusalem. But Sunday morning, all heaven breaks loose, and the Son of God steps out of the grave. His body that has borne our sin is recognizable by the scars, but the stench of sin and death are gone. He is risen! Hallelujah! And his resurrection is our confidence that God has both accepted his sacrifice for sin and flooded us with his healing, life-giving power. Hallelujah! Recently, I’ve been learning songs written by Hillsong musician Geoff Bullock. After a number of years at Hillsong, he left and fell into a pit of depression and brokenness. But God called him back and put him to work again, with a renewed sense of God’s grace. Bullock found that it isn’t about him. Nor is it about us. It’s about God. Bullock says, The news about God is better than we could have ever dreamed, and the news about man is worse than we ever allow ourselves to realize. The only thing we have is grace, and grace is available for us all.9


My dear friend, you may be feeling loneliness and brokenness, as if there is no way back for you. But I have good news. Long before you ever needed a Savior, your Father so loved you—and “the world” and “the many”—so that he sent his own Son to bear your sins, so that you no longer have to bear them. He was laid in the tomb bearing your sins. But on Easter Sunday his body was changed and set free and victorious. And so are you, when you place yourself in his hands. That is grace—God’s unmerited favor for us who are so loved by him. That is the message of Gethsemane and Golgotha and the Empty Tomb. Hallelujah! He is risen!

Peter and the Resurrection

COVER STORY

Profound sadness coupled with terror wrapped Peter’s stomach and clenched it into a tight, painful knot. Yes, Jesus had told his disciples that he would be killed, even that he would be crucified. But Peter hadn’t believed it. When you see daily miracles and hear incisive teaching from a confident public figure, you refuse to acknowledge that anything could ever change. But overnight, Peter’s world collapsed. Anthony Van Dyke (Flemish painter, 1599-1641), detail of Penitent Apostle Peter (1617-1618), Oil on canvas, Hermitage, St Petersburg, Russia. They had eaten Passover together on Thursday night. But only few hours later, Jesus was under arrest. A hasty trial lit by flickering lamps in the high priest’s palace condemned Jesus. Then early morning shuttles to Pilate, then Herod, then back again to Pilate, sealed his fate. By 9:00 a.m., soldiers were pounding nails into his hands and feet, jerking him upright on a cross to let him hang in the sun, until the sun itself hid its face and left the onlookers to watch the Master die in the eerie chill of this very black day. Peter had fled. In fact, none of the twelve remained to see him buried. Only Mary Magdalene and a couple of wealthy followers were left to take his body down, 24

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carry it outside the city, and entomb it. If you’ve ever felt despair in the pit of your stomach, then you know what Peter felt. When he did go out, he would walk in a kind of daze, utterly disoriented, shattered, the center of his world now a black hole, an empty void. How could the Messiah, the heir of David’s throne, be executed? It went against all logic. It was impossible—yet it had happened, and oh so swiftly! Peter slept fitfully Saturday night and when his eyes opened Sunday morning, the doom of death was heavy upon him. He pulled his cloak over his eyes, hoping he could fall back to sleep, but knowing he wouldn’t. All of a sudden, someone was banging on the door. Soldiers! Peter got up with a start. How can I escape? Then he heard Mary Magdalene’s voice, and his terror fell back into depression. Mary was breathless, troubled, her face stained with tears. Peter grumbled, “Why did you have to wake me so early?” Mary blurted out: “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb!” Peter pulled his fellow-disciple John to his feet, slammed the door behind them, and began to run through the narrow streets, out the city gate, and then on to the tomb. The great stone that had sealed the tomb stood open. As they entered, the sepulcher was empty, except for some folded graveclothes. The body was gone. Folded? That was strange. Folded graveclothes but no body. Hardly what you’d expect from grave robbers. John seemed convinced by the graveclothes that somehow Jesus had been resurrected or something, but Peter wasn’t so sure. How could he believe that after so much had happened? He walked slowly back towards the city pondering, thinking, wanting to believe, but afraid to hope. Suddenly, Jesus appeared. Peter, the socalled “rock,” had publically betrayed

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Anthony Van Dyke (Flemish painter, 1599-1641), detail of Penitent Apostle Peter (16171618), Oil on canvas, Hermitage, St Petersburg, Russia.

him. He had shouted, “I don’t know the man!” He was so unworthy. And yet here was Jesus before him. Peter fell to his knees and wept for joy. Peter never said much to the others about this meeting—what had been said, what had transpired. But after that, you’d sometimes see Peter deep in thought, pensive. Then he would nod his head and traces of a smile would begin to transform his face into one written with thankfulness and joy and peace. Peter had been whipsawed from his pit of despair and pulled by the Master into peace. Life had changed for the good. And since then, many have found this same peace, this same smile of wonder at Jesus’ amazing grace. Maybe you, too. Jesus had risen—and Peter never doubted him again.


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Cayman Islands Health Services Authority 95 Hospital Road, Grand Cayman | Tel: (345) 949-8600 | Email: info@hsa.ky | www.hsa.ky


ON A MISSION FOR GOD! It’s astonishing how God can orchestrate people from all around the world to be a blessing to His children in some of the most remote parts of the world. Our team was comprised of loving Christians from Australia, Germany, Norway, England, Cayman Islands, and the United States with one goal in mind—to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to share His love. We were able to accomplish this goal and to alleviate human suffering. We saw over 3,300 patients and dispensed over 13,000 prescriptions, over the course of seven days. It is remarkable what can be accomplished when God put His SUPER on our NATURAL abilities. In all things we are grateful for the opportunity to serve, lives have been transformed and heaven is rejoicing. To God be the glory for all the great things we witnessed in Ethiopia. Joyce Meyer’s Medical Mission November 6-10, 2017 Erika Jasper Missions Coordinator Joyce Meyer Ministries


CAYMAN ISLANDS HEALTH SERVICES The Cayman Islands Health Services Authority’s (HSA’s) Pathology Laboratory was reaccredited (January 2018) by the Joint Commission International (JCI). The renewing status was accredited as the only medical laboratory in the Cayman Islands with a highly skilled team of professionals among the best in the region. Source - HSA Photo 1: CASMET award recipient Marcia RobinsonWalters (Outstanding Service to the Regional Executive Council as Treasurer). Photo 2: CASMET award recipients include Martin McKenzie (Outstanding Academic Achievement Award), Shelaine Ricot (Phlebotomist of the Region Award) and Dale Chin (Most Outstanding Medical Technologist of the Caribbean). Photo 3: Staff members of the HSA Laboratory, Infection Control Nurse Hazel Gordon-Fletcher (far right) and Kathy Cross, JCI Surveyor (second from the right).


DISCOVERING YOUR GOD-GIVEN PURPOSE

BY SHANA SCHUTTE

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here once was a man who netted three trout from a mountain stream and carefully placed them side by side on a thick patch of grass. Before he removed them from the water, they were like a liquid ballet in motion. Fluid. Graceful. Vibrant. Alive. After he netted them, it was another story. As the trout lay on the grass, they were motionless. Their eyes were fixed. They gasped for water, and they looked—and acted—stupid. The man noticed they seemed unhappy, so he talked to them, hoping that his encouragement would change them. “Little fish, don’t be sad. You’ll like the grass. Just try it out for a while.” No movement. No response. No change. A few more seconds passed. The man’s neighbor walked by. “Hey, Bob! Come and check out these fish!” Bob sauntered over and the man explained that he was certain the fish could adjust. “I’m sure they could prosper here on the grass. Don’t you agree?” “Why not?” Bob replied. So he also tried to tell the fish it would be good if they learned to like the grass. After all, he liked the grass. Why shouldn’t they? Still, the fish didn’t blink. They just lay there looking dumber by the second. Finally, a little boy approached and exclaimed, “What are you doing? Put them back! They can’t be all they’ve been created to be when they are out of the water.” Finally convinced, the man carefully placed each fish back in the stream. After splashing for a split second, all three 28

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swam away effortlessly. Again, it was like a liquid ballet. What ease! What grace! What beauty! In that moment, the man realized that no matter how long the fish lay there, they would never adjust to the grass and would never be satisfied—no matter how much he (or anyone else) told them otherwise. Even if the fish tried to convince themselves they could learn to like the grass, they never would, and they would never prosper. In fact, they would eventually die. Do you feel like a fish out of water? Your prolonged dissatisfaction, God-given gifts, passions, and the voices of others could be telling you that you were created for another purpose. And like these fish, if you feel like you are dying inside, listen up. It could be just what you need to push yourself into another, more satisfying ocean.

LISTEN TO YOUR DISSATISFACTION We’ve been taught to believe that dissatisfaction is a bad thing, and that we should do everything possible to avoid it. Shove it down. Ignore it. Act like it doesn’t bother us. Take a pill. Plaster on a smile. Buy something new, or decide that misery is part of “bearing our cross.” But above all, don’t consider that God might be using it to make us uncomfortable so we’ll want to swim in another ocean where our gifts can shine. Don’t get me wrong; dissatisfaction can be a result of spiritual warfare (Eph. 6:1012) and not an indication that we are out of God’s will. But it can also be a road sign that God has another purpose for us. So if you’re miserable in your current

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career or job (and you have been for a long time), you’ve prayed, sought counsel from others, looked for guidance through Scripture, and you’re still miserable, consider that God may have another plan.

LISTEN TO OTHERS One of my closest girlfriends lights up when she talks about mentoring young women. She also has tremendous business sense. I’ve suggested that perhaps God may use her to start a mentoring organization or ministry. When I shared my thoughts with her, she said, “You know, I’ve heard that from lots of people.” Just as dissatisfaction can be a road sign from God to show you your purpose, listening to what others say about your gifts can do the same. So when someone notices or comments on one of your talents, take note. God may be trying to tell you something through his people. There are times, however, when we shouldn’t listen to what others say. But when what they say about us agrees with our passions, internal convictions, gifting, and what God has already revealed to us, it can be a solid indication of our Godgiven purpose.

LISTEN TO YOUR GIFTS I’ve never liked math. Whenever I come within five feet of a math problem, I break out in hives. Numbers have never been my thing, and my guess is that they never will be because God created me with different gifts. Even though I can’t do math, I can write, paint, draw, sing, and communicate well. These gifts are also road signs to where God is directing me.


Have you ever considered your talents and gifts? Do you get a kick out of soccer? Are you a strategic thinker? A great listener? Can you motivate others to action with your words? Are you skilled at building things? I suggest making a list of the things and activities that interest you and in which you excel. You can also ask yourself, “What’s the one thing that I do better than others?” This can also clue you in to your God-given purpose. The gifts God gives us are like little seeds planted inside us, but for them to grow, we have to use them. This means that if you can’t identify which “Gift Seeds” God has given you, try doing new things that interest you. Through these new experiences, God will reveal more to you about who you are and how he has called you to serve him.

LISTEN TO YOUR PASSIONS If I could ask you what makes you angry, joyful, excited, or passionate, what would you say? Take note of when your emotions are moved; these times can be a sign of your God-given purpose. I get fired up about the godless condition of the world. When I hear about little children being abused, I get angry. When someone tells me a story about loyal love, I am deeply moved. An exquisite arrangement of words on a page fills my heart with passion. A story of someone’s heartbreak grieves me. Talking about Christ stirs me up. When coupled with my talents, these passions point in the direction of my purpose of written and spoken communication about things that deeply impact people on a spiritual and emotional level.

Pray. Ask God to show you the things that move you and make a list. And remember, he wants you to discover his purpose for you more than you do. Lastly, consider that your purpose is not just about you; it’s about what God wants to do through you. Therefore, if you ignore or neglect your dissatisfaction, what others say about you, your gifts and your passions, you are not only betraying yourself, but betraying God, because he has called you to a purpose and wants you to walk in it—for others and for your own joy. Also consider that since God has called you, he is completely able to reveal your purpose to you, and he will as you diligently seek him (Hebrews 11:6). In the next issue: Setting Goals to Fulfill Your God-Given Purpose

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Seeking God By Kassie Wall

Jer. 33:3 (NKJV) ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ THOUGHT TO PONDER: God does not hide His will from us. When we truly desire to know what He would have us to do, we need only seek Him. His Word promises that if we call to Him, He will answer us. And when seek His will, most often what we find is the heart of God. INSIGHT INTO GOD’S WORD: There have been many times when starting to write a devotional, I will have to stop and regroup. You see, I don’t want it to be from “me.” I don’t know who is going to read these devotionals-- but God does. I don’t know WHEN someone is going to read them either, but again - GOD DOES. I learned that the other day someone was on the website and was reading something I posted three months ago. So it is very important to me that whatever I share is because I know that it is what God is impressing upon me. I will admit, there are times when it feels like I have to “force it.” So I stop and go and sit before God, and seek His Will and His heart in the matter. And when I do, it is amazing how He will bring peace and fresh new thoughts to me. It’s almost as if I am “seeing and hearing” the message at the same time-- like God is working it out in me. And then afterwards, I will go and sit down at my computer again. When thinking about this-- it brings to mind Elijah. In 1 Kings 19:4 we read; “But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, ‘It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers’!” (NKJV) Now Elijah may have wanted to lay down and die-- but 30

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God had other plans for him, and wouldn’t let him, and sent an angel to minister to Elijah instead. Afterwards, Elijah walked forty days and forty nights to the top of Horeb (the mountain of God). When Elijah got there, he was ready to spew everything out that was bothering him. In fact, he did! It says in verse 9, the Lord asked Elijah, “Why are you here?” And Elijah poured out all of his “woos” to God. Now I am thinking what happened is very similar to what happens at my house with the boys. The other day my youngest son was “fit to be tied,” and when I asked him “Why?” - did I get an ear full! The problem was my son was so upset, that I had to let him vent for a moment, because I couldn’t get a word in edge-wise. The thing was, my son wasn’t ready to listen-- he needed to get out what was bothering him first. And I think this is what Elijah did. Afterwards God had him go and stand at the edge of the cliff to overlook the valley as three different storms passed through, but the thing was that each time, God wasn’t in them. I tend to think the storms represent different types of storms we go through in our lives, and also storms that we go through on the INSIDE of ourselves. And while they are raging-- while WE are raging-- it is very difficult to hear the voice of God. But when we get past ourselves, when we have depleted ourselves, God basically says, “Do you want to tell me again-- this time without yelling?” And the reason I say this, it is because that is what God did to Elijah. After the storms had passed and there was just silence, God asked him again, “Why are you here?” And Elijah told Him why. But I am thinking that this time it must have been in a completely different tone of voice. (Read verses 9-14). After telling God what was upsetting him, God regrouped Elijah and gave him direction. And what surprised Elijah was that God was sending him to a place that, for all outward appearances, was horrible. But in SEEKING God, do you know what Elijah found? He found THE HEART


OF GOD. And do you know what was on God’s heart? Seven thousand people who had not bowed down and worshipped a false idol. (see verse 18). What Elijah saw, was a city full of corrupted people who had no respect for the living God; but what God saw was the heart of seven thousand people who were waiting, and desperately needed Him. This thought of a changed perspective is very similar to what happened to Abraham in Genesis 15. The Lord came to Abraham to give him encouragement and in a sigh of “But Lord....”, Abraham went on to voice his concerns in how he saw things. “Lord God, what will You give me, seeing I go childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?” Then Abram said, “Look, You have given me no offspring; indeed one born in my house is my heir!” (Gen 15:2-3 NKJV). And again we see, that as Abraham was seeking after God, the Lord revealed His will to Abraham. And what did Abraham find? The heart of God and how GOD saw things! The Lord basically said, “No Abraham, that’s not how it’s going to be.” Read with me: And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir.” Then He brought him outside and said, “Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.” Gen 15:4-5 (NKJV). In both of these passages today, what we see is that after seeking God and sharing with Him how they saw things, and what they felt, God showed them something different. God gave them direction and a hope for something else.

God gave both of these men a new song, and God showed them what HE wanted for them. Both of these men were honest and laid their concerns out before God. And the Lord, true to HIS WORD, honored them and answered them-- and showed them things that they had not known before. I know there have been many times I have gone seeking the Lord on a particular matter, where I have started out praying one way, and by the time my quiet-time with the Lord was over, I found myself praying and rejoicing over something different. All because God had quieted MY thoughts, changed MY heart, given me direction, and revealed something else. And usually it ended up being something totally unexpected, or surprising. Why? Because it was what HE wanted; things I could not have known or seen by myself. But I believe He shared His heart with me, because I truly wanted His will, and not my own. My friend, have you done any searching for God lately? Have you honestly laid things down and asked Him to show you how HE sees them instead? Call to Him-- He will answer you. And don’t be surprised if it winds up being something else. PRAYING IN FAITH: Father God, thank You for making Your will know to us. Thank You for being faithful to answer us, and show us things we could not have known on our own. Lord, I lift this reader up to You, and ask You to give them an extra measure of faith today. I ask You to hear their prayers and show them Your way. Lord, I ask You to open their eyes to see You, their ears to hear You, and their minds to perceive You clearly. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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IT’S JUST A THOUGHT! IS IT LEGAL?

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By Ewart ( Junior) Forde

s New Testament Christians, we pride ourselves with not being under the bondage of the law but in fact we can be more legalistic than even the Pharisees of Jesus’ day. This is because most of us are still not in love with Christ, nor forsaken our lives to follow him, and do not understand what this life is truly about. I had a couple of incidents this week which highlighted how truly depraved we are in this area. I received some funds that most people would not traditionally tithe nor feel obligated to give as an offering. I often have these discussions with people who struggle with questions like “should I tithe on net or gross”, “should I tithe my tax return”, “should I tithe my insurance settlement, or should I tithe my loan proceeds”. Now to the carnal person these may seem like perfectly legitimate questions, but to the spiritual man they are irrelevant questions bound in reason. They are legal questions that are central to law and legalism from which we have been set free. When we ask these questions, our reasoning is that we just want to do the right thing, but in fact most times we really want to know if it is legal to do the questionable thing. Jesus taught that the way of the Kingdom is to go the extra mile. Mat 5:41 says: And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. This is the attitude of those who truly want to ensure they are upright because it is not a legal thing; it is beyond what is required. This is the product of a love for God that demands self-denial and crucifixion. When I love God this way I am in pursuit of opportunities to please, serve and worship him. I don’t feel hostility to those who demand accountability of me. The other example I had this week came while trying to have a discussion with someone about worship. Jesus taught us that the Father is seeking those who will worship him in spirit and in truth. Spirit and truth means you cannot do it by walking off the street, as in the case of repentance. People confuse the open doors of a Church service with being a part of the body of

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Christ or the Family of God. Spiritual worship means that music, singing, clapping, shouting and dancing etc., while important, are secondary to the heart. Whether it was Lucifer in the beginning, the sons of Aaron in the Old Testament or Ananias and Sapphira in the New, God has reserved his most severe punishment for those who polluted worship. Instruction is the willingness to be quiet and pay attention to God’s response to what we present to him; in effect, to desire to know if he finds our offering acceptable and respectable as with Cain and Abel. By failing to heed God’s word following worship, Cain sealed his destiny and ended the life of his brother by an act of violent murder. Cain reasoned that it was unfair of God to have standards about what and who he would respect in worship. This is called the way of Cain in the Bible, and it means to worship on our terms, our schedule, and for our convenience.

It’s Just a Thought

Peter made it clear to Ananias that to worship God is your choice but to receive our worship is God’s choice, and to deny God the respect he deserves, is to sin against the Holy Spirit. The Father is looking for people who seek opportunities to honor him with their lives, time, talent and treasure, but most of all he wants people who are not measuring what it costs them to honor him but regards it a privilege.

Because we still struggle with what we can get away with in worship, it tells us that we are not yet ready to please God in worship. Reasonable people ask the question, “is it legal” while crucified people ask, “does it please God and does he respect it”. “It’s just a thought!” Ewart Forde is President/CEO of Missionary Action Team, a ministry involved in mobilizing people of color in missions. He has served as Founder and Chairman of Refuge Ministries in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, since 1989.


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SHIFT YOUR SELF-IMAGE 36

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personal reflection of how modern-day Christians struggle with self-image and dressing. There is a stereotype for everything under the sun, from culture, to skin colour to the texture of your hair, to your social connections, to your religious beliefs. Society dictates, and surely is not afraid to vocalise how you should fit in by adapting characteristics and abilities that tend to convey a negative impression at times. Does God actually care about how you as a Christian dress? Does the Bible provide a piece of advice for how a Christian should dress? Are we therefore concerned that to be a good Christian, we must always dress the part to reflect that sort of personality? Contrary to the fact that modern-day interpretation of modesty points out that the biblical essence attached to Christian dressing modestly (more so women) indicates that they are to dress “acceptably”. Modesty often riles up quite a bit of feelings among us women, and just perhaps, the concept is misconstrued from what it really is. Modesty involves the impression and appearance we leave with others, especially with our dress code. What really is an acceptable way for Christian women to dress on a regular basis? Is it that we are expected to convey our beauty purely through silence? The Scriptures point out that modesty gives merit to inner character, but by no means must we dress in dreary clothing that gives rise to self-deprecation. Throughout my walk of faith, I’ve witnessed how modesty has been taught not only for women, but for men as well. Immodesty in dressing typically signifies bad intent, and in a way it is boasting to self. Whilst most churches avoid educating its members on godly dress style, others have the tendency to confirm anything goes. Very often it is echoed, it is your heart that matters to God, not your body or what you wear, and your outward appearance and dressing does not matter to God. Categorically this doctrine can be destructive, especially where the Bible clearly (from the Old Testament) says that God does not delight in his people revealing or put on view themselves to nakedness. In the beginning, an example of the first clothing for humanity was witnessed after Adam and Eve fell into sin and their nakedness was covered as

they were packed off out of the Garden of Eden. (Genesis As Christians, we have the understanding that the Almighty requires us to be dressing to cover our bodies, and not for the sake of fashion. The Bible encourages us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God. How is this interpreted? This means that God is focused on the manner in which you present your body as well your heart, with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. God reminded Moses that the children of Israel should be careful so that their nakedness is not exposed, because that might attract God’s wrath (Exodus 20:26). The main purpose of dressing is to cover our bodies of our nakedness in all circumstances, mentally, philosophically, spiritually, and physically. When a Christian wears clothes that do not cover their nakedness, they are being fashionable instead and working against God’s purpose, which does not make much sense.

WHAT LOOKS AT US IN THE MIRROR?

How do we understand our value and identify in Christ? Do you seek to let your outer countenance reflect all that God has been doing inside of you? God values you and will call you his own; therefore, your representation as a child of God should also be indicative of your dressing and wardrobe choices. Low self-esteem and self-image has become the number one challenge plaguing Christians. The reality of it is how subtly it presents itself through family, friends, and culture. In others words, we claim to make up for this acceptance in the way we dress to give a boost to our confidence through our appearance. For example the use of designer labels, or the manner to which we are so drawn into Hollywood and reality television, depicting the fictitious short-term fix to our self-image and confidence. Fear can creep up on us, negatively affecting a Christian’s life to even literally paralysing us as our self-image and confidence is being knocked for a loop. But you might ask, why must the perceived notion that the world has on us as Christians affect us daily? In his words, God said he does give us a spirit of fear (I John 4:16-18). How a person envisions himself is one of

the most influential elements of a person’s view of the world. Thus, is it correct to confirm that we make up for our own idiosyncrasies through our dressing to fit in socially, even if it means exposing parts of our body? Shouldn’t the manner in which we dress reflect our feeling of positive self-worth and let our light shine for all to observe? Why are we so concerned with the impressions others have on us, whether it’s fellow Christians or non-Christians? Low self-confidence affects us all. As Christians, we are not isolated from those emotional feelings. Surely this gives rise to the human side of us, where our emotions get the better part of us, hammering our self-confidence. Should we not take this to the Lord in prayer instead of maintaining that vicious cycle that seems to trap us in an ever-deepening spiral of discomfort?

THE JOURNAL PROMPTS TO IMPROVE SELF-IMAGE

1. Always avoid people that make you feel terrible about yourself. This could mean being more assertive and having the willpower to desist from peer pressure. 2. Celebrate your small wins. Even if it is sharing the word of God with someone, it can make a powerful difference in their life, and could ultimately boost your confidence. 3. Avoid the comparison traps, the temptation to compare ourselves to those people who seem to have their life totally together; dress fashionably, have money and acclaim. It’s never ending and quite frankly, can be exhausting. Seek God for contentment and peace. Dee Burrowes, a very strategic, resultsdriven mindset strategist, influential mentor, workshop facilitator, public speaker, motivator and prolific networker, connecting individuals globally. Certified Professional Coach and NLP Practitioner, Speaker, Trained Teacher, she helps you gain more confidence and learn how to be more effective at bringing happiness into your life. “When you are tempted to criticize yourself, take a moment to breathe and recall the reasons why you are a great person who is worthy of love and admiration.” Dee Burrowes: Mindset Strategist

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8 SMALL RESOLUTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR FAMILY VARIOUS AUTHORS A wise parent once wrote: “No mom is full of more false hope than when she puts up a new chore chart.” Parents love new beginnings, those hopeful moments when we vow to be better. Our children are going to start being more responsible and respectful, and as parents, we will be more present and patient. This year’s going to be different! But change is difficult, particularly lasting change. Without steady, uphill determination, our resolutions are often neglected after a short time. Yet sometimes we strike gold. We make a small change—an adjustment in communication or a modification in discipline strategy—and that change really seems to work, sticking around for the long haul and improving family life. We asked some of our friends to share what small changes they’ve made that produced a lasting difference in parenting. We hope you find inspiration from their insights, and perhaps discover some ideas that could impact your own parenting. But remember: It’s often better to focus on one change at a time. You’re more likely to make lasting changes when you limit your focus until that change eventually sticks.

RESOLUTION NO. 1: HAVE DINNER AS A FAMILY Small change: When our children were young, we began to see that our captivity to activity was keeping us from eating meals together. We ate anywhere but together, often with the television blaring. My husband and I decided that having meals together as a family was one change worth fighting for. This change required intentional planning. We had to turn down activities that would keep us away from home at dinnertime. Menu planning was essential. My Crock-Pot became my best friend. And we made it an absolute rule that the TV was turned off before we sat down. Lasting difference: Most of my kids are now out on their own, but it always surprises me how they still look forward 38

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to lunch or dinner at home. I’m also amazed at all the old stories they still talk about, stories that happened around the family dinner table. It’s the place Grace held her nose with one hand and shoved broccoli into her mouth with the other under the watchful eyes of her father. It’s the place where arguments have erupted—and forgiveness has been extended. The place where we laughed and cried and celebrated all of life’s little accomplishments. —Joanne Kraft, author of The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids

promise-keepers, and peacemakers. But I do know how to cry out to God on their behalf. About four years ago, I began praying Scripture over my children. Since then, it has become a passion of mine. I love to take the Word and substitute my boys’ names where I can, asking God to bless

RESOLUTION NO. 2: OFFER GRACE IN FRUSTRATING MOMENTS Small change: One change in my parenting came the day I started hugging my children when I really wanted to yell at them. My kids are only small for a short time, and I had to recognize that the little mishaps and careless decisions they make will not matter much in 10 years. So I look them in the eyes and hold them, and give them all the love and grace they need in the moment. When the incident fades a bit, we talk a little about how we can learn from it. Lasting difference: It’s true that children need to learn from their mistakes and understand how to make better choices, but I became a better mother when I recognized that this goal is much bigger than the moment at hand. What truly matters in those times of frustration is how I treat and nurture their hearts. It takes just a few minutes to clean up spilled milk, but much longer to mend a broken spirit. —Susan Allman Trevathan

RESOLUTION NO. 3: PRAY FOR YOUR KIDS Small change: Coming to terms with my own inabilities has been a powerful difference-maker in my parenting. I’ve always dreamed of having boys, but I had to recognize that I really have no idea how to raise men who will be respecters of women and lovers of God. I know nothing about raising protectors,

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their lives and their decisions. God’s Word is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). Lasting difference: Like many parents, I’ve been overwhelmed and exhausted, seconds away from defeat. Prayer is the missing piece of the puzzle. I’ve learned that parents who pray for their children recognize their own inability to change their children’s hearts, putting their faith and hope in the God who can. —Brooke McGlothlin, author of Praying for Boys

RESOLUTION NO. 4: LET THEM OWN THEIR BEHAVIOR Small change: My husband and I have learned to help our kids take more


ownership of their behavior. For example, we ask them to imagine the type of person they want to be in the future—what type of father, mother, sister, brother, or friend. Later, we bring them back to that conversation and remind them of what they had told us. Lasting difference: Our kids have started to understand their own goals and reasons behind good decisions. They no longer see us as just Mom and Dad telling them what they have to do, but as parents helping them stay accountable to the picture of who they want to become. —Nicole Brodrecht

RESOLUTION NO. 5: BUILD ON THE GOOD Small change: As a speech therapist, I found ways for patients to practice difficult sounds without knowing what they were practicing—so they couldn’t rely on old, bad habits. One of my main beliefs about parenting developed from this work: The best way to unlearn ingrained habits is to bypass the obvious conflict. We just can’t keep telling ourselves to stop doing something that we’ve become accustomed to doing. Our minds resist change. But when we construct a platform of success from what we do well, new habits come more naturally. For years, I was a screaming mom. After all the wasted effort of telling myself to control my yelling, I recognized I needed a strategy that circumvented my weakness. I’d trained my kids to know that their tantrums were ineffective. I told them, “You know how Mommy doesn’t do what you ask when you’re screaming?

Sometimes Mommy needs help with that rule, too. From now on, listen to Mommy when she uses a calm voice, but if Mommy screams, say, ‘Excuse me,’ and walk away.” Lasting difference: What a change! The kids loved it. When I yelled, my son would say, “Sorry, Mommy is screaming. Excuse me.” He would then turn on his heel and walk off. Screaming no longer worked! That little trick permanently changed the entire culture in our home. —Hettie Brittz, author of the (un) Natural Mom

RESOLUTION NO. 6: SET PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES Small change: A few years into parenting, I decided I needed to start establishing clear boundaries. I’m not talking about consequences for my kids’ misbehavior. Those are good and necessary, too. But what I really needed were actual physical boundaries. When our kids were young, they could go pretty much anywhere they wanted in the home. Their toys were everywhere. They were everywhere. So I started creating rules for places that were simply offlimits to my kids. No exceptions. Mom needs barriers. She needs drawers and cabinets and a bedroom door that kids cannot open without permission. She needs to have games and puzzles stored and kept in specific areas. Lasting difference: That decision has stuck around for the long haul, greatly improving my job as a parent. Motherhood is a far more sane and enjoyable experience when Mom gets a little space to herself. —Marcia Fry

RESOLUTION NO. 7: FIND SOMEONE TO KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE Small change: One thing my friend Cheri and I have in common is our constant battle over clutter. We’ve both made huge improvements, but it is an issue we work on constantly. So whenever we make a new step in our journey—forward or backward—we discuss it with each other. We dissect it, determining how to not let a poor decision happen again, or at least not as often. Lasting difference: It’s been hard work, but accountability has brought lasting change. I’ve never made as much progress as when I have a friend to inspire me.

Sometimes you need someone to give you a vision for what your life can be. It doesn’t matter if she is a phone friend, internet buddy, or face-to-face friend you meet with over coffee. Real change comes when we have someone to help keep us accountable. —Kathi Lipp, author of Clutter Free: Quick and easy steps to simplifying your space

RESOLUTION NO. 8: CREATE HEALTHY SURROUNDINGS Small change: Environment is more important than willpower. I recognized how true that idea was years ago when I was adjusting to a healthier lifestyle. I can promise myself that I won’t eat sweets for a day, but when the doorbell rings and I receive a tin of caramel popcorn, what happens? I promise myself that the next day I won’t eat sweets. A tempting environment can drain a person’s selfcontrol. This principle has impacted my husband’s and my parenting, as well, particularly as we train our kids to have a healthy relationship with media and technology. If we instruct a child to limit her screen time to an hour a day, but then give her a television in her bedroom and a tablet loaded with her favorite games, she will struggle. So we don’t allow TVs or digital devices in our kids’ bedrooms. But there is always convenient access to board games, art supplies, and quality books. Mealtimes and commutes are no-screen times. Lasting difference: We’ve boosted our kids’ ability to make healthy choices by focusing on the environment that we’re raising them in. Family life has potential for so many opportunities to connect with our children, and we don’t want a world of digital distractions to rob our family of these powerful moments.

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

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NATIONAL HEROES DAY 2018 SHINES SPOTLIGHT ON SPORTS Sourced: GIS



ACROSS 1 they which could ____ should cast themselves first into the sea (Acts 27:43) 5 Never be lacking in ___, but keep your spiritual fervor (Rom 12:11) 9 the Philistines and of the ___ who lived near the Cushites (2 Chron 21:16) 14 by the Spirit, not by the written ___ (Rom 2:29) 15 listens to me will live in safety and be at ___ (Prov 1:33) 16 Their venom is like the venom of a snake, like that of a ___ (Ps 58:4) 17 I see ___ ___ of an almond tree (1,3) (Jer 1:11) 18 Which ___ ___ shadow of things to come; but the body is (3,1) (Col 2:17) 19 bring it to ___ ___ and cook the bones in it (1,4) (Ezek 24:5) 20 What harmony is there between Christ and ___? (2 Cor 6:15) 22 father of Seth (Gen 5:3) 24 was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy ___ him (Luke 17:12) 25 the book after Joel in the Old Testament 27 I will float them in rafts by sea to the place you ___ (1 Kings 5:9) 29 do not ___ what is evil but what is good (3 John 11) 32 Woe to those who ___ iniquity, to those who plot evil (Mic 2:1) 33 Go out to the roads and country ___ and make them come in (Luke 14:23) 34 the sixth angel poured out his ___ upon the great river (Rev 16:12) KJV 37 They built a siege ___ up to the city (2 Sam 20:15) 40 was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning ___ up the world (Ps 77:18) 41 He is the God who ___ me (2 Sam 22:48) 44 and for the ____ that is in the land of Assyria. (Isaiah 7:18) 45 The law of his God is in his heart his feet do not ___ (Ps 37:31) 47 a prophetess, ___, the daughter of Phanuel (Luke 2:36) 48 Two sons were born to Eber: One was named ___ (Gen 10:25) 50 two women will be grinding with a hand ___ (Matt 24:41) 52 the sun, and to the moon, and to the ___ (2 Kings 23:5) KJV 54 to lay waste defenced cities into ___ heaps (Isa 37:26) KJV 57 They will turn their ____ away from the truth (2 Tim 4:4) 58 he that endureth to the ____ shall be saved (Matt 10:22) 59 Why make ye this ado, and ___? (Mark 5:39) KJV 61 the council together, and all the ____ of the children of Israel (Acts 5:21) 65 Those who see you ___ at you, they ponder your fate (Isa 14:16) 67 But ___ found favor in the eyes of the LORD (Gen 6:8) 69 Am I ___ ___, that you come at me (1,3) (1 Sam 17:43) 70 To ____, mine own son after the common faith (Titus 1:4) 71 the ____ has faded and has not spread in the skin (Lev 13:6) 72 “At midnight the cry ___ out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! (Matt 25:6) 73 vines with hail and their sycamore-figs with ___ (Ps 78:47) 74 upon the hills, under oaks and poplars and ___ (Hos 4:13) KJV

75 The ___ of the LORD are on the righteous (Ps 34:15) DOWN 1 a rising, a ___, or bright spot (Lev 13:2) KJV 2 and ___ a coat of scale armor (1 Sam 17:5) 3 Asa destroyed her ____, and burnt it by the brook (1 King 15:13) 4 If a man sins against another man, God may ___ for him (1 Sam 2:25) 5 Simon who was called the ____, (Luke 6:15) 6 and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ___ (Mark 14:47) 7 there was what looked like ___ ___ of glass (1,3) (Rev 4:6) 8 seems right to a man, but in the end it ___ to death (Prov 16:25) 9 You strain out a gnat but swallow ___ ___ (1,5) (Matt 23:24) 10 to ambush and ___ everyone who passed by (Judg 9:25) 11 a golden cup in her hand, filled with ___ things (Rev 17:4) 12 the mirth of the wicked is ___ (Job 20:5) 13 if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made ___ again (Luke 14:34) 21 Absalom had appointed ___ over the army in place of Joab (2 Sam 17:25) 23 Keep me as the ___ of your eye (Ps 17:8) 26 the thin ears devoured the ___ good ears (Gen 41:24) 28 slaughtering them along the way to a point below Beth ___ (1 Sam 7:11) 29 they are not plagued by human ___ (Ps 73:5) 30 and he was armed with a coat of ___ (1 Sam 17:5) KJV 31 He had been hired to ___ me so that I would commit a sin

(Neh 6:13) 35 took him to an ___ and took care of him (Luke 10:34) 36 the love of God (Greek) 38 And Moses went out to ____ his father in law (Exodus 18:7) 39 All the tent ___ of the tabernacle (Ex 38:19) 42 Of what ___ is an idol, since a man has carved it? (Hab 2:18) 43 my father’s hired men have food to ___ (Luke 15:17) 46 he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll ___ David to the wall.” (1 Sam 18:11) 49 The evil deeds of a wicked man ___ him (Prov 5:22) 51 stairway went up from the ___ floor to the top (Ezek 41:7) 53 I received from the Jews the forty ___ minus one (2 Cor 11:24) 54 The land enjoyed its sabbath ___ (2 Chron 36:21) 55 and continued his speech ____ midnight (Acts 20:7) 56 endow her with wisdom or give her a share of good ___ (Job 39:17) 60 The burning sand will become a ___, the thirsty ground (Isa 35:7) 62 With the Lord ___ ___ is like a thousand years (1,3) (2 Pet 3:8) 63 I wish I could be with you now and change my ___ (Gal 4:20) 64 The owl will nest there and lay ___ (Isa 34:15) 66 give God a tenth of your mint, ___ and all other (Luke 11:42) 68 the bracelet that was on his ___ (2 Sam 1:10) KJV

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

Answers on Page 45

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CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

ANGELS

HEAVEN

BAND

JESUS

BEHIND

JONAH

BLESSED

KEYS

BOUND

KINGDOM

BUILD

LOOSED

CHRIST

PETER

CHURCH

PRIESTS

COMING

RAISED

CROSS

REBUKE

ELDERS

REWARD

FATHER

ROCK

FOLLOW

SAVE

FORFEITS

SIMON

GAINS

SOUL

GATES

TASTE

GLORY

TEACHERS

GOOD

TRUTH

HADES

WARNED

HANDS

WORLD


PUZZLE AND WORDSEARCH ANSWERS

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE >> ISSUE NO. 1 - 2018

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