ISSUE ELEVEN/MARCH 2017
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NEW COACHING APPS, LET KIDS BE KIDS PROGRAM, INSTANTLY READ CLIENTS COACH LANGUAGE, DIFFICULT CLIENTS: GREAT RESULTS, AND MUCH MORE…
“Great coaching exposes your hidden brilliance.”
Stewart Fleming
FROM THE EDITOR I recently returned from trekking in Nepal and the one thing I saw there was poverty. The struggle and strain of people who are still fighting to simply survive, two years after the earthquake. As coaches, we can make a difference in ways that we cannot measure. Every coach wants to improve the performance of their clients, whether it’s on the sporting field, at work or in a relationship. We are the harbingers of excellence and yet, the road to helping the truly poor is still exceedingly long. While in Nepal, I managed to help a local community who had not had aid since the earthquake by providing materials and labour to help rebuild the school. In the process, I also managed to teach the kids the joys of the Mexican wave, the Top Gun high-five and how to use a swing.
murky water and provide what our clients really need. In this edition, we explore the power of relevance to the world of coaching and get some amazing tips from Coaches in the trenches. We look at the power of visualisation, the new direction of elite coaching and how to read a client’s need for detail in the blink of an eye. As always, we deliver the best tips, techniques and strategies for becoming the best coach you can. I returned from Nepal, more grateful for the opportunity to coach and determined to help all coaches be better at their craft. I hope you enjoy your coaching journey as much as I do. Happy Coaching.
Compared to the work I do coaching business; the work was basic but afforded a level of support that they Stewart Fleming truly needed. Editor It reminded me that sometimes as a coach, we have to abandon our training and experience to deliver. We must get our hands deep in the
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COACHINGLIFE March 2017 ISSUE 11 Coaching Life is published 4 times a year and is your authoritative source for information on coaching in sport, business, life and anywhere else you find a coach. Published By Operait Pty Ltd ABN 63 189 244 221 24 Leo Lindo Drive, Shailer Park, QLD 4128 Editor Stewart Fleming editor@coachinglife.com.au Advertising advertising@coachinglife.com.au Printing & Distribution Bluestar Web DISCLAIMER This publication is not medical or professional advice. It is intended only to inform and illustrate. No reader should act on the information contained in this publication without first seeking professional advice that takes into account personal circumstances. The publishers and editors give no representation and make no warranties, express or implied, with respect to the accuracy, completeness, currency or reliability of any of the materials contained and no correspondence will be entered into in relation to this publication by the publishers, editors or authors. The publishers do not endorse any person, company, organisation or techniques mentioned in this publication unless expressly stated otherwise. The publishers do not endorse any advertisements or special advertising features in this publication, nor does the publisher endorse any advertiser(s) or their products/services unless expressly stated otherwise. Articles are published in reliance upon the representation and warranties of the authors of the articles and without our knowledge of any infringement of any third parties copyright. The publishers and editors do not authorise, approve, sanction or countenance any copyright infringement. The publication is protected under the Commonwealth Copyrights Act 1968 and may not, in whole or in part, be lent, copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine readable format without the express written permission of the publisher. ISSN 2205-6963 Copyright Operait Pty Ltd All rights reserved.
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CONTENTS
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6 AN EYE FOR DETAIL
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People only do business or get coached from those they like and trust. Discover a fast way of reading a potential client, so you can give them just the right amount of detail to make a decision. A must read if you want more clients. Alan Stevens Celebrity Profiler
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16 STAYING RELEVANT
As a business coach, we want to help our companies to avoiding Leadership Myopia. Staying relevant in the market holds the key and Steve Maraboli gives his 5 top tips for staying on top. Dr Steve Maraboli Founder – Winning International
20 THE ART OF NOTICING 8 COACHING IN THE CORPORATE WORLD More and more companies are turning to coaching to develop leaders, reduce turnover and increase profitability. This represents a huge opportunity for the coaching community. Sarah Young Founder of Vision Insight
12 CHILD PROTECTION AND YOUR ROLE AS COACH As a coach of young people, your position of power and influence comes with responsibilities including child protection. If you work as a youth coach in any capacity, this is an important article for you. Peter Downs National Manager – Play by the Rules.
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When you are really listening, your cells respond by behaving differently. Dean ‘The Soul Whisperer’ takes us into the art beyond listening, to that of noticing. Dean Griffiths Founder and CEO of Energy Fusion
23 EXTRAORDINARY BY CHOICE From a provincial town in Serbia, Marica shares her journey to the Olympics and her transition into the world of coaching. Now she follows her passion coaching athletes and kids. Marica Strazmester 2 X Olympian, US Swim Coach
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30 32 43
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26 THE NEW DIRECTION FOR ELITE COACHING?
40 GREAT RESULTS FOR DIFFICULT CLIENTS
The world of elite coaching has undergone a number of changes over the years and is now ready for the next big shake-up. If you coach at the elite level, this article is for you. Richard Maloney - Director Engage & Grow
Do you have clients that fit into the ‘too hard’ basket? Dr Steve Barlow shows how we can still get great results by identifying a client’s change fitness. Dr Steve & Stephanie Barlow The Change Gym
30 BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL LIFE COACH Becoming a Life Coach is a journey and becoming a successful one can be an even longer journey unless you take advice from those that have already done it. Stefen shares his tips to help you be more successful, in less time. Stefen James - Project Life Mastery
43 THE POWER OF COACHING Business coaches requires many disciplines and knowledge is power. As a successful business coach, Mihir shares his top tips for wielding that power. Mihir Thaker Business Coach
32 VISUALISATIONS ENHANCING OUTCOMES Using visualisations in your coaching sessions is essential and doing it effectively can make the difference between a successful change and regression. Dr Judy Hinwood - Stress to Strength
36 TIPS FOR ASPIRING COACHES
45 TOO MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED Motivation is great but can you get too much of a good thing? Hayley Wilson shares how too much motivation can hamper your success. Hayley Wilson The ME Project
Having worked as Elite Player Development Manager with the Broncos, Brendan knows what is required for aspiring coaches. Here are his 3 top tips. Brendan Barlow Deputy Principal, Wavell State High School
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How often have you started a presentation, found it going well, only to find that you’ve “unsold” the deal? All of a sudden, the other person’s eyes glazed over, they start fidgeting and their body language completely changed.
Remember, people only do business with those they like and trust, and without rapport, neither of these are possible without knowing how each person prefers to be spoken to. All those hours of preparation and hard work could go straight down the drain, taking the deal with it. You have one chance and one chance only to make a first impression.
AN EYE FOR DETAIL
you know what to put into your presentation? How much information should you give? The answer is in the eyelids; in how exposed or concealed they are. Look for the epithelial fold, the fold of skin between the eyelash and the eyebrows and see how close it is to the eyelash. In some cases, the fold is well away from the eyelash as in example 1. We call these exposed eyelids. At the other end of the spectrum - the epithelial fold totally conceals the eyelid as in example 2. These are the born analysers. Give me the Big Picture The greater the gap or the absence of a fold the more the person just wants the big picture. Excessive detail just turns them off. They are less inclined to analyze situations or information.
Everyone is different. Some people just want the big picture, while others need loads more information and to analyse more facts. And between those two extremes there is a wide range of styles. It’s obvious that if you treat everyone the same, you’ll miss a lot of deals. So how do www.CoachingLife.com.au
Example 1
It appears they couldn’t wait to get away from you. Maybe you’ve given a good overview and they look at you as if you’re keeping something back.
This doesn’t mean they don’t analyze things at all. They just prefer you to get to the bottom line and will make decisions with less information than those who need to analyse. By nature, they are decisive, action driven and focus outwardly on what needs to be done. They have an understanding of what is being said and they like to act on it right away. Be aware that they don’t need all of the information up front to make a decision. If necessary, they will go back later to check for any additional details. Be aware that they are likely to cut you off in the midst of your conversation or finish your sentences for you if you are more the analytical type.
You may feel they aren’t interested in what you have to say, but this could be that you’ve opened with the wrong approach and they just want to get things moving alone. This trait can be a concern when you have a lot of information that you have to cover. If this is the case, pre-frame the conversation saying how you’ll give an overview and allow them to ask questions. Point out though, that there is some information you have to cover at the appropriate time. Handled right, the preframe will get their approval and you can use this to slow them down if necessary. Combined with some other traits, they could miss vital information as they try to push ahead too quickly. In these cases, the pre-frame is vital. The Analyst The more concealed the eyelids are, the more the person will analyse everything that is presented to them. They focus inwardly on what they feel about a situation and they need more information to understand how and why things work. Without a suitable level of information they won’t be comfortable. This makes them reluctant to make decisions until their questions have been completely satisfied. It’s in your interest to take the time to do so.
Always start with yourself In understanding and recognizing other people, first start with yourself. Check out where you fit. Are you big picture or are you the analyst? Or do you fit somewhere in between? Knowing where you fit will let you know how you come across to others. It will also tell you how much you need to change your preferred way of communicating when talking to different people. If you are in the middle, you’d be wise to lean towards the bigger picture with those with more exposed eyelids than yourself. And go into more detail than you’d prefer when dealing with those with concealed eyelids. If you have exposed eyelids, don’t rush those with concealed eyelids or push for the sale. You’ll lose them if you do. You’ll come across as untrustworthy or that you are hiding information that they need. They will often seem slow in making decisions, but there is a lot going on in their heads. Take your time with them and make sure you’ve answered all of their questions fully. If the other person has a combination of both; partially exposed and partially concealed, which you’ll find quite often, then start with the big picture and be ready with more information. Remember, it’s all in the preframing. Let these people know
you have more information and they can ask all of the questions they like once you’ve finished. If yours are exposed, pre-frame with those who are concealed that have a lot of detail, but first you want to give an overview and then go into more detail. This preframe is necessary otherwise the analyst will keep dragging you back to different points. If the person is similar to you then just be yourself and talk as you normally would. These will be the people you naturally get along with. But it is the other people that you’ll make most of your money with, so they are worth the effort to get to understand. You’ll find more details on how to read and speak to these and other traits in the mobile Apps, ProfileMe and ProfileMatch. Alan Stevens
Alan Stevens is known as the Celebrity Profiler and a Leading International Personality and Business Profiler. He has been featured on National TV profiling the likes of our leading politicians, TV and sports stars as well as Britain’s Royalty. Alan works with Businesses, Health Professionals, Teachers, Coaches and Parents, all with a unique form of Rapid Trait Profiling. You can contact Alan through his web site www.alanstevens.com.au or find all of his details by scanning the QR Code
Example 2
What is Corporate Coaching? As companies strive to become more innovative and proactive rather than reactive, the coaching model is becoming more commonplace in the corporate world. In-house executive and leadership coaching programs are being developed and implemented, executive coaching companies are called upon and companies are realizing the benefits of developing their managers to lead with a coaching approach. If a true coaching approach is taken and developed throughout an organisation, three benefits are soon realised.
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Employees feel empowered to put new ideas forward without fear of rejection or ridicule. Employees travel a path of continuous improvement both for themselves and the organisation.
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Employees feel valued and empowered.
It can truly create a workplace that has a feel-good factor to it. Coaching in the corporate world empowers employees to think outside of the box, embrace new challenges, broaden their experience and grow personally and professionally.
The objective of coaching is to bring out the personal best in an individual, whether a mid-level executive or a senior leader. It contributes towards an environment of continuous change and improvement and this is exactly what is needed in today’s fast evolving world. One of the key elements of corporate coaching is the accountability it provides. Goals are much more likely to be achieved if a well-defined vision is formed.
Goals are translated into actionable daily and weekly actions. Then accountability is used to ensure these actions are implemented. and to motivate, guide and challenge the individuals. This is where the coach can really add value.
coaching’ has not been a part of the process.
Management diagnostic tools such as profiling and 360-degree feedback surveys, in addition to the coaching program, can be used to enhance the individual’s awareness.
It can lead to: • •
Rewarding, encouraging and recognising the ‘ingredients’ of success such as effort, a positive mental attitude or strategic thinking can be an effective way of developing employees.
• • • • • •
It encourages a repeat of these ‘ingredients’ the next time a project/challenge is approached. If you wait until the results are in to recognise and encourage, it may be too late! At Vision Insight, we assist organisations/individuals for any number of reasons. A company may decide to: • • • • • • • •
further develop their leaders support executives dealing with organisational change gain clarity of vision develop executives in transition support return to work employees develop high achievers with potential offer support to overly stressed executives offer guidance and accountability to underperforming executives
We find that coaching the individual both personally AND professionally to be the most effective approach and we have yet to coach an individual where ‘mind-set
What are the benefits for the companies that embrace coaching? The benefits to an organisation that embraces an effective coaching program are endless.
• •
an uplift in overall culture an increase in performance and productivity conflict situations decrease, a reduction in stress levels a reduction in absenteeism increased capabilities an environment of innovation faster momentum to projects the vision of the company embodied throughout improved relationships with customers/clients a proactive rather than reactive workplace
Team Coaching Team coaching can be an effective and fun way to create a cohesive team; all moving towards the same goal. Facilitating this away from the workplace can bring out creative thinking. We like to focus on team objectives, work out what success looks like individually and as a team, create a strategy and determine the mindset is required to achieve their goals.
What were the learnings, how can we apply those learning to the next month, how will we celebrate and recognize the wins and keep building on the momentum gained? Sales-team coaching a sales team can focus on working with them to exceed their KPIs, be more objective focused and improve their relationship management and selling skills. Team coaching can work for getting a project off the ground with a team that hasn’t worked together before. Our goal is to bring the team together, help them establish their roles within a team, get clarity on the team vision, work with them to set the short and longer term goals and support and guide them in building momentum to the project. A coach is really only needed in the early stages of the project and the team shouldn’t need a coach any more once regular momentum is achieved. We can just be called back in from time to time to challenge the team, ‘check-in’ on progress and help the team celebrate their wins! We also coach teams in developing a growth mindset. We take them through how to embrace new challenges, white board and navigate setbacks effectively, learn and grow from mistakes, failure and criticism and be inspired by the success of others.
We encourage team brainstorming, empowerment and getting the executives out of their comfort zones. We reflect on what went right and what didn’t go so well since the last session.
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Coaching Workshops Another form of coaching (and one that can be lower cost for organisations) is coaching delivered in the form of a workshop. The aim of the workshop is still to provide the same outcome as coaching but just delivered to a much larger group. It lacks the personal touch, but if facilitated well it can still affect positive change on a larger scale at the same time and we get great results from this approach. The aim is not just for us to inspire change, but to encourage the group to learn from each other’s experiences.
Leadership is changing. Leadership is becoming more authentic, or rather, organisations are starting to realize that the coaching leadership approach is the most effective. This effective style of leadership is a collaborative, emotionally intelligent leader, who communicates effectively, is value driven, has a high level of integrity and is able to bring people along with them.
They need to be able to be agile, lead through change and agility, and foster the environment of continuous growth and innovation. In short, they need to be the type of leader that people would follow with or without the title. Clarity of vision is essential. The ability to empathise, lead with a coaching approach and the provision of accountability is a strong element for effective team leadership. To have this type of leadership mind-set, self-awareness is vitally important. The reflective leader will continually reflect on where they could have done better, then apply this learning to their next engagement. It’s a style of leadership that encourages, motivates, supports, guides and most importantly, offers accountability. It’s now a leader’s role to empower their team(s) to stretch themselves and embrace new challenges, put ideas forward for change, take (educated) risks and learn from any mistakes along the way.
A coaching style is always an open door style of leadership, (often with no door at all), so it’s key that the leader develops their emotional intelligence in order to be able to empathise, be adaptable to each individual and communicate effectively. With the pace that technology and the workplace are evolving, leaders and their teams staying firmly entrenched in their comfort zones is a dangerous practice. We coach leaders how to become coaches and bring out the best in their teams.
It all starts with mindset! We are firm believers that mindset is the KEY element which determines whether an individual succeeds or misses achieving their goals. If an individual has self-belief, a positive mental attitude, a growth mindset, resilience and emotional intelligence, they are well on the way to succeeding and moving their organisation in the right direction!
Sarah Young Sarah is the founder and lead coach of Vision Insight, a corporate personal and professional company. She has personally negotiated over $700 billion in sales and trades and was the first executive female leader on the currency trading floors in London at the age of 21, leading teams in a completely male dominated environment that closed deals in excess of $1 billion per week. She facilitates Success Mindset and Leadership workshops and coaching, group coaches corporate teams to provide accountability, motivation, guidance and support, delivers Success Mindset keynotes and contributes to leadership panels and roundtables and consults to leaders on organisational change. She also writes and delivers leadership workshops at high profile national women in leadership summits. www.CoachingLife.com.au
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CHILD PROTECTION YOUR ROLE AS A COACH
By Peter Downs
On Friday 11 January 2013 the Governor-General of Australia, Her Excellency Quentin Bryce established a Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. The Royal Commission was set up to investigate how institutions like schools, churches, sports clubs and government organisations have responded to allegations and instances of child sexual abuse.
It is the job of the Royal Commission to uncover where systems have failed to protect children so it can make recommendations on how to improve laws, policies and practices.
programs in place to help keep children safe.
Play by the Rules
Play by the Rules is a national collaboration between the Australian Sports Commission, the Australian Human Rights Commission, all state The Royal Commission’s public and territory departments of sport hearing into sport took place from 4th and recreation and equal opportunity to 13th April 2016 with the final commissions, the Australian and New report for Case Study 39 being Zealand Sports Law Association, the released in late 2016. Office of the Children’s Guardian and If you are involved in sport, even as a the Anti-Discrimination Board of The report is an important document volunteer, in all likelihood you would NSW. for sport in Australia even though it come across these. is, at times, difficult and disturbing Its mandate is to support safe, fair reading. It provides a stark reflection These codes and templates are and inclusive sport through of how child safety is handled in important and necessary but they do education, resources and the sport, from national to local level. little, in a practical sense, to help provision of free information. coaches in their day-to-day While there is much to address interactions with children. It started in the early 2000’s when coming out of the report the Royal the focus was on child protection, Commission did, in many ways, hold So, what can a coach do and what harassment and discrimination and sport up as exemplar of good help is available? complaint handling in community practice. sport. The Royal Commission identified and Unlike other sectors, sport does have recommended one important source Over the years it has expanded into protections, policies and education of help – Play by the Rules. other areas that impact safety, The Australian Sports Commission mandates Member Protection Policies for all recognised national sports organisations. There are codes of conduct templates and guidelines for coaches, parents, spectators, officials and administrators.
fairness and inclusion in sport, www.CoachingLife.com.au
although child protection remains a core focus area.
It contains case studies, quizzes, drag and drop exercises, video scenarios and other interactive elements to In collaboration with multiple keep you engaged. On completion partners Play by the Rules has you can download your certificate of developed a unique online education completion. program on child protection. When you’ve successfully completed Many sports have now mandated the this course, you will: course as a requirement for coach and official accreditation programs, • Ensure that you comply with the even before the Royal Commission law hearing. • Help ensure a safe environment This has resulted in around 1,000 for children at your club or course completions per month for organization the child protection course. • Contribute towards a hassle-free club Child Protection online
course - what you will learn? The course will help you to understand child protection laws, how they apply to sporting organisations and volunteers, and what your responsibilities are with respect to these laws.
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Help your club retain its members
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Gain confidence to know what to do if something happens
Child protection in sport and recreation starts with setting up an environment and administrative system that will allow children (anyone under 18) to remain safe from abuse, and protected from any individual who wishes to exploit or harm them. Child abuse can occur through actions that harm or injure a child, or an environment that does not provide protection for them. Child abuse can be intentional (such as physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse) or unintentional (such as an injury caused through poorly maintained facilities and equipment).
Your role as a coach
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nform the nominated club or organisational officer if you witness As a coach of young people, you are or suspect any situations that may in a position of power and influence. potentially lead to, or may constitute, Young people will look up to you, and child abuse. be guided by your actions. You will likely have the most amount of e a positive influence, and/or interaction with young people at your voice for change, in the creation club or sporting organisation, so you of a child safe environment at the will often be among the first to see or club or sporting organisation. recognise a developing problem or situation. ake sure that your intentions, your actions and your efforts You have a key role in any club or ensure a child safe environment. sporting organisation.
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Your responsibilities are to:
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Some of the most valuable exercises are the video scenarios and case studies.
efrain from any form of verbal abuse, or verbal communications Here’s an example of one of the case that are harmful, spiteful or sexually studies. suggestive. ct appropriately and responsibly The ‘tough coach’ case study with children of all ages (up to 18 This case study is designed to years). promote discussion about child protection, and the approach that aise your ‘child safe’ awareness to be able to spot any problems your club, its members, administrators and volunteers take or situations before they escalate. towards creating a child safe environment.
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This coach was a female state representative and is well respected and known in the swimming community, with a reputation for being tough, but also for producing good swimmers. The parents who complain had previously agitated to get their girls into the coach’s squad. What would your club do?
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reat all children respectfully, and within the child protection laws of Australia (free from any form of abuse).
The parents of two girls at a swimming club complain about the abusive way the girl’s coach yells at the team at every practice.
The swimming club’s member protection officer talks to the girls, who say they ‘don’t mind’ when the coach yells at them at the end of the session. The club informs the parents that it will not be proceeding any further with the complaint, and suggests that the girls might want to drop a grade where the coaching style will be ‘less pressured’.
Discussion points
As a coach you have a particularly important role to play in keeping sport safe, fair and inclusive.
Who is responsible for this situation? The coach? The girls? The club? Would a whole club approach make any difference?
One of the ways you can do that is to undertake the Child Protection online course.
What might have been done to avoid this situation?
To access the Play by the Rules online courses, go to
www.playbytherules.net.au/online-courses
How might the club have better supported the girls, their parents and the coach? Peter Downs is National Would this happen at your club? Manager of Play by the Rules. Prior to that he Do you have procedures in place that would prevent was Assistant Director of this? the Australian Sports Commission’s Integrity in The course will help you answer these, and many other, Sport Unit for two years questions to help you keep children safe at your club and and Manager of the in your coaching programs. ASC’s Disability Sport Unit for 17 years. The Royal Commission has highlighted the important issues of child safety in sport. They emphasise, as does In 2014 he was awarded a Churchill Fellowship to study Play by the Rules, that child protection is everyone’s models of best practice in inclusive sport for people with responsibility. disability in Finland, the UK and US.
RELEVANCE IS VIABILITY
By Steve Maraboli
There is a seemingly endless trail of businesses whose journeys were cut short due to Leadership Myopia. The inability to see beyond the narrow window of current logistics is one that often eludes leaders and usually drives towards the inevitable finality experienced by deteriorating businesses; Stagnancy by Irrelevance.
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utdated ideas of management and leadership often hinder the ability for a business to stay relevant and adapt to changes in their market. The business/retail world used to be a simpler place because people only had local choices to purchase products, businesses and retailers had the power. From books to wine, clothing, news and everything in between; competition was limited and businesses need only have the product available with a marginally effective pitch and they would get the sale. This system led organizations into product based and quantity based models with leaders and managers www.CoachingLife.com.au
that were taught the importance of order filling; ignoring the need to update and keep the product relevant and the workers happy. Today, the one-world system of commerce makes products available anywhere and to anyone with a touch of a button. This opens the door to a complex need to adjust and remain relevant in a global economy that nurtures competition, technology, quality, and ease of purchase. Moreover, with the bombardment of commercial messages that people see daily, a pitch for a product or service must be as effective and efficient as possible. The increase of speed and delivery of information to potential customers combined with the exponential growth of the available products requires relevance and will inevitably weed out companies that don’t make the adjustments. From Kodak to Blockbuster, the list of companies that went from top position to extinction continues to grow. While the declines of these companies can be forensically
analyzed ad nauseam, the crux of the cause is undoubtedly leadership shortsightedness. Today’s leaders must know that the old style of management is dead… just like the businesses that employed their methods. A leader in today’s economy must be adept in the ability to make all adjustments necessary for the survival and growth of their company while also effectively influencing the workers towards the peak performance mindset. The most successful leaders in today’s business environment are the ones who can avoid stagnancy and cultivate an overall company environment that is conducive to growth, expansion, and market relevance. So how do we, Coaches guide leaders to make the adjustments needed to stay relevant? As a Business Consultant and Behavioral Scientist, this is what my focus has been for nearly 20 years. As with all other great endeavors, change begins with us, the Leaders.
Often times, the hindrance for progress is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge. We think we know so much that it prevents us from learning. We have so many outdated methodologies in our mind that it blinds us from making the proper adjustments and invariably leads us to mental stagnancy. The greatest step to learning and enhancing our mindset is found in the ability to unlearn and let go of outdated information. I’m reminded of the ancient maxim to “Empty Your Cup”. One of my favorite renditions of this timeless story concerns famed martial artist, Bruce Lee, and his desire to be trained by a local Master. At the time, Bruce had extensive fight experience and a background in martial arts training. He approached the Master, and after making the
customary bows, asked him to be his teacher. While they went through the traditional motions of discussing the Student/Master agreement. Bruce began to talk about his experience and rambled on and on about the many fights he had won. The Master listened patiently and then began to make tea. When it was ready, he poured the tea into Bruce’s cup. As Bruce watched, the cup slowly filled until it began to overflow, first on to the table and then on to the floor. Bruce was trying to be respectful, but he couldn’t hold it in any longer and shouted, “Stop, stop! The cup is full; you can’t get any more in.” The Master stopped pouring and said, “You are like this cup; you are so full of your own ideas and opinions. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can’t put anything in. Before I can teach you, you will have to empty your cup.” This story is an old one that surely has been retold throughout the generations, but it continues to be played out in our day-to-day lives.
As coaches, we can become so enamored of our own ideas and opinions, and so trapped by our outdated education that we fill ourselves up to the brim and nothing new can get in. Because of that, we become judgmental instead of analytical (there’s a difference) and mental stagnancy flourishes; giving rise to Leadership Myopia. Change starts within… Empty your cup! Once we become open to new information, we can project our inner potential into outer change. The company and all of the employees benefit from a Leader who is operating at the best version of themselves.
Relevance, 5 Things to consider
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Neuromarketing Strategies Work Our scientific understanding of Behavioral Psychology has revealed to us that we can resonate with all people with a well-developed marketing plan. Through careful research of market base demographics, a marketing campaign can be designed that ensures emotional and practical relevance.
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Know the Why of Influence Most people are moved to action (purchase product, join membership, purchase service, etc.) when these basic functions are triggered: Something interrupts their cyclical thought pattern. Something appeals to their senses. Something gives them a sense of community. Something reinforces their values.
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Context is King Everyone on Earth is operating on an agreement with reality. The most effective influencers are able to create a contextual story within the parameters of a specific demographic and influence from within that story. With the advent of Behavioral Sciences, your Sales Department has more tools than ever available to them for developing a pitch and marketing campaign that is effective on all levels. Sales is a science‌ When sales drop, adjust the strategy and reshape the context.
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Relevance is Dominance In an age that sees constant updates from technology companies, the common consumer has become accustomed and condition to expect product adjustments. Consumer Behavior models show that people will determine the viability of a technology by how often it is updated. This mindset has permeated into how a consumer sees ALL products and organizations.
Consumer are even likely to purchase products of inferior quality if they have a more active webpage, social media, or marketing campaign. Products that are most active are not necessarily superior to their competitors, but will often have more sales because of being more relevant.
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Your Customers have MANY Options; Act Accordingly Many companies expect loyal customers without providing loyal service. This has been the visionary failure of countless corporations. The most successful businesses have Leaders who see the correlation between Customer Service and Sales; not as separate departments, but as complimentary components for growth. Just as you would focus on developing a great Sales team, make sure your business is creating a Customer Service experience that is so good that it demands loyalty.
“Stay Relevant, Stay Viable�
As I have demonstrated for successful corporations throughout the world, the neuro-science of influence enables us to engage with our customers and clients more effectively than ever before. There is no excuse for providing poor customer service.
Relevance is viability… and in today’s global business environment. Entrepreneurs can’t afford the fiscal and social death-sentence that comes with stagnant thinking and outdated modalities. While most Leaders shy away from change, it is the willingness to change that will determine the viability of the
business and the longevity of its success. As Leaders, we must embrace change and continue to adapt, refine and improve. Stagnancy will suffocate any business. We must embrace a new Leadership method in which we are dynamic and evolving, so that we may ensure the successful growth and longevity of our businesses.
Dr. Steve Maraboli is a Speaker, bestselling Author, and Behavioral Scientist who lends his popular voice to various topics. Dubbed by Inc. Magazine as, “The Most Quoted Man Alive,” his empowering words, business methodologies, strategic insights, and social philosophies have been shared and published throughout the world in more than 25 languages.
2017
The Art of Noticing
As a coach, I’m sure you’re interacting with people all the time. Though let me ask you a question, do you actually notice people? I believe that many coaches, do just that, they just coach and that’s it. What I mean by this is that a lot of coaches just observe, meaning they register mentally what their clients are saying, though only with a view to respond to it. Whereas when you notice, you become conscious of that person by seeing, hearing and feeling them. In coaching, we call that "presence". Without presence, you'll miss what matters most to your clients. Though when you apply it, the keys to guiding your clients to find the answers they are looking for, are revealed.
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With so much happening all around us and so much information to process, it’s hard to notice everything, right? This was perfectly highlighted in the 1999 study by cognitive psychologists Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris, who demonstrated how people can focus so hard on something that they become blind to the unexpected, even when staring right at it. In the video people were asked to focus on a video of people passing basketballs to each and to count how many passes were made. What was interesting is that about half of watchers missed a person in a gorilla suit walking in and out of the scene thumping its chest.
Simons and Chabris called this "inattentional blindness," showing that it can become easy to miss details when we’re not looking for them. Noticing comes down to two things. The first is having a high level of emotional intelligence. The term “Emotional Intelligence” was coined by American Psychologists Peter Salovey and John D in 1990 describing it as "a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action". Emotional Intelligence was popularised through the book of the same name, written by science writer for the New York Times, Daniel Goleman.
Emotional intelligence involves four components: 1. Self-awareness 2. Self-management 3. Social awareness 4. Relationship management. I only want to mention the first two for the purpose of this article, as I believe to be the best coach, you need to become a better observer of yourself, to really take in and NOTICE what is happening with your clients. Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your own emotions. Having this awareness allows you to manage your behaviours, to ensure that they are in balance with who you are. Being self-aware means you understand your strengths and weaknesses and knowing how you react to different situations and what things trigger you. This means that you know what you need to work on and have a good grasp of your capabilities. You are also able to anticipate the impact and influence you have on your clients, making you much more effective at changing behaviours.
I believe emotional intelligence is such a key attribute for coaches. Coaching is about influencing the behaviour of your clients. By being aware of your own emotions and the effect that you have on your clients, you are able to interact more effectively with them. The second aspect to noticing is Conscious Listening. Even though is sounds obvious, listening is perhaps the most critical component of effective communication, though its value is still under-rated in coaching. What we need to realise is that we usually think three to four times faster than we talk, meaning we can sometimes get distracted when our client is speaking, so our minds wander.
Listening is largely a top-down, cognitive process. As we take in the stimuli of the other person’s words, the prefrontal cortex in the brain, which enables organizing and prioritizing, lights up. As we’re continually process the incoming information, our brain is comparing it against what we know, our past experiences and our theoretical construct of the future. In the process of trying so hard to pay attention to everything your client is saying, you can actually end up focusing on nothing. The challenge of conscious listening requires no less than a conscious choice to override the brain’s preferred mode of operation. Easier said than done, I know. So it requires that you train your brain’s biological need for efficiency, prediction and planning and employ a purely bottom-up process to become truly open to the input of others. That is where the emotional intelligence is important. This is not just about listening to what your client is saying, but more importantly, properly listen to how you sound and how you feel while you’re speaking and interacting with your client.
Self-management is the ability to be aware of your emotions to stay flexible and to be in control of your behaviour. This means that you are able to act in a way that is productive and that leads to a positive relationship with your clients. It could include changing your mood (e.g. not letting a bad mood colour how you interact with your clients), taking steps to avoid or manage situations that cause you to react negatively you and acting with honesty and integrity. Page 21
When we are listening consciously, we trigger what are known as mirror neurons in the brain. Mirror neurons were discovered in the 1980’s by Italian Neurophysiologist Dr Giacomo Rizzolatti who was studying specific nerve cells in macaque monkeys’ prefrontal cortex’s and found that the cells fired when the monkeys threw a ball or ate a banana.
The surprise finding was that the same cells were firing in the monkeys who were watching the other monkey performing these acts. When you’re noticing, then you’re giving your clients sustained and complete attention. Listening to what they say and being fascinated by what they might say next. Not waiting patiently when they are silent,
but waiting expectantly. It means making it comfortable for them to feel uncomfortable, enabling them to dig deep to find the answers and create the shifts they seek. It means relying on being present rather than thinking, letting go of your need to assess, analyse, interpret, look for themes or give them ‘aha’ moments. They will find their own.
Dean Griffiths is the Founder and CEO of Energy Fusion (energyfusion.co.uk) an online health and wellbeing platform for companies and healthcare providers. Energy Fusion subjectively assesses the physical and mental health of each members and then strategically supports them to make the necessary lifestyle changes. Everything they do at Energy Fusion is backed by science and clinical research. Dean is also known as The Soul Whisperer (deangriffiths.co.uk), an intuitive coach empowering women to live a life of purpose through his Inner Journey Coaching Program.
“Know the wonder inside you, release yourself to your inner world. Celebrate your truth and make this the gift to the world”
EXTRAORDINARY BY CHOICE
Marica Stražmešter
I
n Kikinda, a provincial town in Serbia where I grew up, there were few organized sports for children. When I was nine years old, I had a childhood sweetheart old, who was a swimmer. Even at that age, love was motivating me, so I decided to quit taking dance classes and give swimming a try. I knew the Cinderella story, but I didn’t want a glass slipper — I wanted Nike sneakers. That was when I got my first summer job. I grew up in single-parent household, so I quickly learned that the only way to get the Nike sneakers I wanted so badly was to help my Mom Ljubica. She taught me my first important lesson: if an opportunity showed up, then I had to recognize it, focus on it. Then results would come.
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I was lucky. Swimming was escape from the harsh reality of my childhood circumstances. I wanted a better life, and I knew that I could choose what I wanted to become. Slobodan Bokanić-Boda, my first coach, taught me up to my first Olympic Games in Sydney 2000. By the time I was fourteen, he had taught me deep breathing exercises and focusing techniques; he taught me how to visualize my races and how to concentrate.
In other words, he introduced me to mental training for athletes. In 1999 when I was seventeen years old, I got an opportunity to go to Spain, so I took it. I focused on my dream to participate in the 2000 Olympics. My Mom showed me what love meant when she gave me the freedom to choose how I wanted to live my life. She allowed me to spread my wings, to explore, to travel, and to transform myself from the ordinary to the extraordinary.
After the 2000 Olympics, I knew I wanted to be a coach, so I took a six-year break from competitive swimming. During this time I completed an undergraduate degree from the University for Sport and Physical Education in Novi Sad in Psychology and Mental Training and Skills for Athletes. This prepared me for the future.
I can sum it up this way: Be brave. You can do it! In 2007, I got an offer from the Ondarreta Swimming Club in Madrid to join their staff as a swimming coach. Juan Camus, the Athletic Director and Swimming Coach, recognized my sports psychology skills.
Once again, love was my engine: my Spanish friends showed me that if we shared joy, happiness, and laughter, then we could achieve our goals much more easily. I wasn’t satisfied with my performance in my first Olympic Games, so I knew that if I got a second chance, I was going to give it all I had. I accepted the challenge and applied my newly acquired skills. I changed my diet and my work-out program. I refined my mental training skills. I stopped living a normal life: it was wake up, work out, rest, work out, and go to sleep. The results were amazing. In the matter of only eight months, I qualified for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.
After I broke seven national records in Serbia, I knew I had it. The results were one hundred percent mine. I was living proof: the right mindset and mental training could help an athlete make the leap from ordinary to extraordinary. My mission is to share my knowledge by guiding parents, children, non-athletes, and coaches. I traveled, worked, and competed in Australia, China, Thailand, Europe, and Africa. My encounters with different cultures had made me more flexible. I was able to adapt to my students by understanding their backgrounds, which prepared me to work with children all over the world.
“Be brave. You can do it!”
After I moved to the United States, I became a USA Swim Federation Certified Swim Coach. Now I’m working in Chicago at Northside Aquatics (Northside Prep College) and the Chicago Athletic Clubs. I’m expanding my scope through the Nike Summer Swimming Camps. I’m trying different approaches to mental training in my work with children. The one technique I truly love is this: instead of speaking to the children after a race and telling them what they did wrong, I speak to them before race and advise them how to focus and how to race better. If they do certain thing s incorrectly, I don’t mention it to them after the race. Instead, I keep the criticism to myself until our next practice session, when I add drills to improve their skills. Children respond well to this approach. I help them achieve their goals, participate in sports, build healthy habits, and develop clarity of thought. We need to keep encouraging them even when they make
mistakes. Children are a work in progress! Winning is terrific, but when we praise children and support their efforts with a smile, they feel even better.
Who I Watch I never idealized a famous athlete. I kept my eye on people who were part of my everyday life, and I learned from their mistakes.
My goal is not limited to coaching swimmers. I envision a Mindset Academy, similar to a Summer Camp, but open to athletes and non-athletes alike that will focus instead on mental as well as physical training. I discuss this, among other things, at greater length in a book I’m preparing for publication.
Coaching is my passion! I don’t want to be a leader; I want to inspire people to follow their passion. By instilling the right mindset, we can guide athletes to achieve improved performance levels with less effort. They can be greater, faster, stronger, and calmer.
Be Extraordinary by Choice! I like a pair of glass slippers as much as the next person, but I’m ready to take off running in my Nikes through the open fields.
Marica Strazmester is a 2-time Serbian Olympic swimmer. She represented FR Yugoslavia at the 2000 Summer Olympics in 100 and 200m backstroke. Eight years later, she represented Serbia at the 2008 Summer Olympics in 100m backstroke. She has 6 National Records for Serbia in swimming and competed in Semifinals at European swimming championships, World championships. Now, as a US Swimming Coach, she travels speaking to athletes and kids about mindset and creating winning habits.
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THE NEW DIRECTION FOR ELITE COACHING In elite sport, an athlete’s performance is frequently reviewed and scrutinised accordingly. The pressure to consistently perform is extraordinary, and only those with the strongest bodies and minds will prevail. This level of pressure is necessary when the window of opportunity for success is so short-lived; a season is fleeting and every move matters. The average longevity of an athlete is brief and with the stakes so high, it’s understandable that receiving even a minor injury and losing the chance to compete is one of the modern-day athletes and coaches greatest fear.
Team players who are skillful and ruthlessly competitive are on every recruiter’s list when it comes to selecting any team. However, all too often, athletes that start out enthused, unscathed, wide-eyed and energised quickly find themselves experiencing a run of minor physical setbacks, such as nursing hamstring, ankle or shoulder injuries. Sadly, they may sometimes suffer a season or career ending injury, all before they have reached their peak and unlocked their true potential. So, is this just an imminent component of elite sport, or are we overlooking something? www.CoachingLife.com.au
Whether it be demanding coaches, mega contracts, team supporters blogging daily or the hungry media seeking another headline, the pressure for a modern day elite athlete has never been greater. This pressure, along with inevitable self-doubt, ego driven complacency or ingrained mindsets is physically toxic if not managed correctly. And when the athletes mind collapses, then the body follows. In my opinion, we’ve now exhausted and overcooked the science of sport. There are now far too many ‘expert’ cooks in the kitchen. There is only so much juice you can squeeze out of an orange, and in
the elite sporting world today the orange has been squeezed dry. In other words, the body of today’s elite athlete has undoubtedly just about reached its peak in terms of improving physical performance via science. The weekly workload of an athlete in their training regimen is now monitored down to the millisecond. Their body is nurtured, fed and trained to its peak, and there is no shortage of support as teams and individuals strive to achieve the ultimate goal of being recognised as no. 1.
We now rely so heavily on modern day science to justify performance and jobs, that nearly every elite sports coach fails to recognise and embrace the glaringly obvious yet untapped opportunity to unlock the true potential of their athletes.
The body and mind need to be equal in strength Just like a state of the art Ferrari, the modern day elite athlete is more often than not, structurally perfect. Yet the mind (ie. the motor) of an athlete may often be that of an early model Mazda. When there’s a rattle in the engine and that red light appears on the dash, we dutifully send in the mechanics (eg. sports psychologists). However, these mechanics are invariably using the same old Mazda glove box handbook to patch up a motor that is not up to speed or aligned with its state of the art Ferrari exterior. Here lies the problem.
Psychologists all study a similar degree. They all get the same outdated knowledge and use this same information to treat our athletes, and yet injuries are now the biggest issue elite sports teams are facing today. With the state of art facilities and level of expert support we are now seeing, there is no justifiable reason why our athletes’ bodies should still be breaking down at any stage during preparation or performance. Yet the experts are still helplessly ill equipped to predict setbacks and injuries, even when athletes have a structured exercise load plan built around their day to day training regime. I have now been associated with 7 elite Australian sports teams, helped create 30 winning premierships and walked the path of a failed elite athlete myself. I have now proven that once you strip and then rebuild a tough and resilient foundation in the athlete’s mind, you remove future physical setbacks at a level we have never seen before.
The world has surpassed institutional thinking and outdated textbook methodology. A new era has arrived and it’s time for yesterday’s experts and today’s coaches to expand their minds and become open to a world that cannot yet be justified by science. The human journey is about evolution and we are currently in a stage of rapid quickening. Just look at how much the world has changed and evolved in one generation. A huge portion of the functions of the human mind are still unknown and cannot be explained, understood or proven with science. But without the science, should we just sit back and wait? It is now widely accepted that the body is led by the mind. Now we are seeing a new era of elite sport is urgently needed, where we see coaches and support staff turning their attention to the power and influence of the mind and embracing new and sharper tools to unlock its potential.
“It’s been life changing!” EASTON WOOD, 2017 PREMIERSHIP CAPTAIN, WESTERN BULLDOGS FC AFL
Richard Maloney is quickly becoming known as the world no. 1 team engagement expert as he leads over 100 coaches in 60+ countries. He is fascinated by the impact of human behaviour in both the business and sport. With extensive experience in these industries, his view is radically different and he is disrupting the L&D and HR and sports psychology industries with his bold statement: Traditional training is dead.
Richard has used his strategy from the sports arena to work and transform athletes and business leaders around the world. He has been focusing on helping businesses improve mental wellbeing, culture, engagement and leadership and has recently been recognised as a finalist in the Australian Optus Business Awards as Business Leader of the Year and Export also the author of ‘The Minds of Winning Teams – Creating Team Success Through Engagement & Culture’ Quality Mind Global www.qualitymindglobal.com Engage and Grow Global www.engageandgrowglobal.com
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TIPS TO BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL LIFE COACH BY STEFAN JAMES
Life coaching is about helping people to identify what really matters in their lives, based on their sense of purpose and the kinds of goals that they aspire to achieve. If you have aspirations to become a life coach, I respect and admire you because that tells me that you want to make a difference in the lives of others. I would like to share with you 4 tips on becoming a successful life coach: 1. Hire A Coach If you want to coach others, it is so important that you receive coaching as well. In order to support others, you need to first invest in your own personal growth and development. A good coach allows you to discover who you truly are, so that you can grow and be a role model for your own clients. I wouldn’t be running a successful business for over 5 years now if I didn’t have a life coach. I’ve learned so much about myself throughout the years by having a coach or a mentor. Learn from the best so that you can model those skills in your own practice. If I had invested in a life coach at the beginning of my journey, I would have saved myself so much stress, time and money.
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2. Genuinely Care About Your Clients
us with empathy, we feel acknowledged and recognized.
People don’t choose a life coach based on their credentials or degree. They want to connect with someone that understands how they feel. They want to feel heard and accepted. The most successful life coaches ask, listen and empathize.
We feel that the listener has connected with us and seen us. It's a powerful experience. Your ability to empathize not only helps you accept your client, but it also allows you to tune-into the things that are important to him/her.
Active listening may sound easy, but it’s not. A lot of people engage in conversations with their own agenda in mind. It can be difficult to shut off your mind and be fully present, but it is imperative that you learn how to master this skill if you want to be a life coach.
Your role as a coach is to determine how your client feels by acknowledging their emotions. Saying something like, “I understand why that would make you feel disappointed” is a powerful way to establish rapport and trust with your client.
Active listening requires that you focus and attend to what your client is saying and not saying so that you are able to support them in their journey. The key to active listening is empathy. When someone listens to
“Empathy is about communicating that incredibly healing message of, ‘you’re not alone’.” - Brene Brown
3. Commit To Personal Growth
4. Practice What You Preach
Life coaches almost always find that they have to explore and resolve a number of new personal issues themselves, before they are ready to begin helping others to do the same.
It is easy to make suggestions and statements for how other people should live their lives, but it’s not always easy to follow your own advice.
In today’s world, in order to stay current, grow as a professional and best serve others, life coaches must adapt. The best way to do so is through continual learning.
To be an effective life coach, you must practice what you preach. If you want to inspire your clients to change their lives for the better, you need to take the steps to do the same. In short, you need to life coach yourself.
According to Dave Martin, a life coach and author of, Another Shot: A Game Plan for Rebounding in Life, says that, “Although core truths remain the same, life changes, circumstances change, culture changes, and the political, environmental and social climate is always in a state of transformation.” At 17 years old, my life changed forever. How? I began my self-development journey and have since been obsessed with learning and growing in all areas of my life. I have the belief that you should never stop learning because life never stops teaching you new things. My purpose in life is to grow and to give. I’ve made it my mission to serve others, and that is what has supported my success as a coach. The best way to attract, support and engage with the people that you want to help is to provide massive value. When you take the knowledge that you learn and put it into practice with your clients, you inspire them to live from a place of curiosity, which will support their growth and development as well.
When you live your passion, it shows in your work. Leading by example shows your clients that that you actually do the very things that you instruct them to do. Not only does this elevate your credibility as a coach, but it also creates a climate of trust and integrity between you and your client. Are you being authentic to who you really are? Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we teach the things we need the most. If you want to show up for others, you need to show up for yourself. Self-care is paramount to success in life. The path to true success as a life coach is serving and being of value to others. In the words of Albert Einstein – “Strive not to be a success, but rather be of value.”
Stefen James
My name is Stefan James and I’m a 7-figure Internet entrepreneur, life and business coach, fitness enthusiast, and world traveler with an obsession to live life to the fullest and fulfilling my potential as a human being. At 17 years old, I began my selfdevelopment journey and have since been obsessed with learning and growing in all areas of life. He started Project Life Mastery in 2012 to openly and passionately share his life, goals, and mission with the world. His ultimate purpose in life is to grow and to give.
The more I grow, the more I have something to give. Project Life Mastery allows me to fulfill my mission and purpose.
Good luck with your coaching business!
VISUALISATIONS ENHANCING OUTCOMES
By Dr Judy Hinwood Hello fellow coaches, Visualisation is my most used and valued tool in coaching, and I have been using it for a very long time – I know its’ power and potential for changing the lives of my clients. Coaches may or may not use visualization with their clients. Perhaps I can reinforce or remind you of YOUR fantastic potential to lift and help shape your clients’ lives through using this medium in your coaching. Let’s say I’m in a COACHING SESSION WITH A CLIENT. I’m setting the scene and explaining how visualisation will support them. “Bill… We are thinking beings. We think all day long, and then through the night our brain thinks to sort and file our day. Our brains process and cogitate for seven seconds before we make a decision consciously, and then we speak or act based on that decision. A key thought, is that we process and cogitate based on information we have stored away in our subconscious minds – our memories, our beliefs, our values and habits. What if we are aware enough to recognize that we have made decisions that in hindsight have made us less than happy and healthy? Like you did last week?
Because we are intelligent people we can then choose to: : First, delete the ‘messy bits’ in our subconscious that were behind our decisions. (through good Life Coaching) : Install great new ideas and pictures in our subconscious mind so we can make decisions and take actions that we clearly want and that we know will create our better lives. How does this work?
Mind changes matter. We reshape our brain, we reshape our lives.
How? Our consciousness affects the behavior of miniscule subatomic particles. Way inside each cell of our bodies tiny particles of energy are affected by every thought, every picture we shape in our minds – every one.
So, practically, how do we reshape and recreate our lives? As this topic is Visualisation, I’ll restrict myself to that. There is a tool you may have heard of, Visualisation or Mental Imaging – have you heard of it? Using this tool is how you will install/insert/put live pictures of the life you want into your subconscious mind, consciously, deliberately, to create the outcome you want. Please close your eyes and I will guide you through this for a couple of minutes? Imagine yourself creating a peaceful relationship with your husband (happier workplace/ better health/ happier family/ your goals etc.) and you have started the process of changing your life for the better (made your wishes clear to the Universe, set your Intention etc.), which becomes your reality.”
ALTERNATE LANGUAGE YOU MAY WISH TO USE Visualisations and Imagery – What are they? We like to think of visualisations or imageries as ‘games’ we play with our mind, though they are very real. Thoughts are real forces and they can make our lives ‘heaven’ or ‘hell’. The pictures or movies we imagine or replay from the past in our thoughts are real energy, and they create our lives. What does that mean for us? Every thought matters, for example, if we replay the tough times of our lives and focus on those, we create more of those sorts of energies, and vice versa. When we imagine good times, we bring those to us.
Logic will get you from A to B… Imagination will take you anywhere. Albert Einstein
It is ‘The Sowing and Reaping Law’. The thoughts that we plant, water, nurture and expect do grow and come back to us. It’s like a magnetic field. So, let’s give our mind some new and useful instructions for creating something more brilliant for ourselves. Einstein knew we have huge resources in our minds that we can activate. These are our birthright to call on and use if we wish to, and we can learn skills to make that happen. Creating imagery in our minds is like opening a door into our future. What we create in pictures or think strongly about is forming as we do these exercises. Holding the image strongly and adding emotions like excitement and enthusiasm about the vision, brings the picture into our lives much faster and is healing, as it is so calming. It is a highly motivating experience that moves us forward.
And we do it with our own conscious minds. Use the exercises below to prove to yourself that you can do this – as well as to bring about better health and a more peaceful and abundant life. And the more we practice, the more we create.
Harness Your Mind’s Power to Heal and Transform by Deepak Chopra, MD There are two visualisations on our website about creating calm & healing and a future visualisation.
TOSS THE BAG AWAY. Then relax, do something you LOVE like painting, playing with a dog or cat, walking in nature, hiking, and do it full on and focused, so your mind can switch off and reboot itself.
Do feel free to use them. When we are in the middle of stress it can all look, huge and fill our minds so we can’t see how anything else can be coped with, or how we can climb over the mountain of problems. Let’s cut this stress down to size with visualizations and imageries.” From www.stresstostrength.com “9 Keys to Living Stress-Less” My best results happen in coaching when I am very clear about the clients’ ongoing goals and wanted outcomes, and use future visualisations, to bring those to life in the sessions. In the moment having the client visualise a new version of a situation, then design simple action steps to achieve that, is hugely rewarding as the results are there. A minute or ten minutes is up to you. The clients’ relief and excitement carries them forward. Some wonderful references to expand on these concepts are in the work of Dr Candice Pert, Dr Caroline Leaf and Dr Deepak Chopra. This quote summarises the ‘how’: “The body is actually a process. Every thought, feeling and emotion creates a molecule known as a neuropeptide, Neuropeptides travel through the body and hook onto receptor sites of cells and neurons (nerve cells). Your brain takes in the information, converts it into chemicals, and lets your whole body know if there is trouble or cause for celebration. Your body is directly influenced as these molecules course through the bloodstream, delivering the energetic effect of whatever your brain is thinking and feeling”.
www.stresstostrength.com/free-gifts
I offer a couple of visualisations from our website for you if they aren’t already in your toolbox.
Or you could find an object like a flower or an animal or piece of art that you love. Look at it, enjoy it and focus on whatever you like about it; the beauty, the sounds, the texture, the colours, and the perfume. Breathe more slowly than usual, and more deeply, for at least a few minutes. If your mind wanders, just come back to focusing on your appreciation of the special object. Yes, you too can achieve a stressless life.
The Big Green Garbage Bag Now, for a minute, for an hour, for a day, take all those worries off your shoulders, back and wherever else you may be storing them. Imagine you have a big green garbage bag in front of you and you put all that stuff into it. It’s so worth the time to check through your mind and all your body to ‘catch’ the stress and be rid of it. You might see it, feel it, imagine it or just know where it is – whatever your gifts and talents in your mind are, use them and go for it. With no judgments; allow all this to just be fine.
Note: Some stressing of the body, like doing good exercise and working towards goals, is necessary, so we never suggest aiming for a ‘stress-free’ life, only a ‘stress-less’ life.
The ‘Shrink That Stress’ Tool Best to sit straight but comfortably in a chair. Breathe deeply and low into your belly. Remember a situation or person who is making you worried, anxious or afraid. Get into the feelings; don’t allow yourself to be afraid, as you are about to let the feelings go. See, imagine and think of the situation or person; the place, other people involved. I suggest that you take time to see it in colour, up close, with the sounds, smells and tastes you remember. Make your pictures as large as you can. Page 34
However, you do this is perfect. If you start to feel alarmed, simply keep the picture small so you manage that and carry on.
“Take all those worries off your shoulders.�
Now imagine the whole picture getting smaller and smaller until it fits on the palm of your outstretched hand. The sounds, smells and tastes get softer, the colours dimmer and the emotions you felt are drifting away into the distance. Let it shrink further till it is just a tiny speck in your palm and it either disappears or you toss it right away. Keep breathing for a few minutes and enjoy the calm you feel. We expect you will feel much stronger and lighter after this exercise. By all means, repeat any of the exercises as often as you need if the emotions or situation appear again.
If you would like to add another dimension to your world, you may wish to enroll in the Certificate IV in Stress Management Practitioner or the Certificate in Stress Management Facilitator courses which are the only VET approved stress management courses in Australia. www.stresstostrength.com/stressmanagement-institute-practitionertraining
Judy Hinwood is insightful and thorough and will not allow you to get away with using less than the magnificent potential she sees in you. Working with Judy is life changing and she will take you to levels you never thought possible. As global leader in stress management Judy is committed to sharing how to embrace stress as it takes a shocking toll on people's lives, businesses and health. Learn from this very talented and highly experienced coach and facilitator how to tap into energy resources that renew the body, mind and spirit to relieve the effects of damaging stress. judy@stresstostrength.com
THREE TIPS FOR YOUNG ASPIRING COACHES By Brendan Barlow I asked myself what behaviours can I role model to coaches in this article. Over my coaching career, the most successful teams that I have been involved with have bought into and had belief around all the three key points in this article. It is my aim to take you on a learning journey that will hopefully not exhaust you but provide you with
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Creating a Shared Vision
I believe that this is the biggest X factor in any team. A shared vision should clearly state what the team wants to do and when they want to achieve this. This clear vision certainly establishes the culture of the team. When asked what culture means, to me it is simply answered by “It’s how we do things around here”. So how do you know if your team has a good culture? There are two key indicators for me. One, whether you ask the coach, the captain, the manager or your best or worst player, they all can simply provide you with the do’s and don’ts of the team.
strategy and direction on how to be a better team coach. Below I have listed my Triple Treat, that when implemented correctly can certainly have an impact on making winning become habit. That is what we coach for, right?
And two, there is a sense that every team member is striving to do the right thing by the team when they are watched and more importantly not watched. So how do you build this culture? That’s an entirely separate article, however, in summary, every team member needs to own and be part of this. This is linked back to your shared vision. In a nutshell, it is the coach’s job to lead this. They need to role model belief and sacrifice in the team’s purpose and vision. It must become contagious to all, the belief that the team’s needs are more important than your own.
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Giving meaningful and mindful feedback. Less is more!
Every player/employee wants feedback these days. Every coach/leader thinks it is their job to tell people everything they know. However, the coach who drives feedback all the time runs the risk of peaking their team too soon. They tend to have great trouble keeping their teams up! How many times do we see coaches yell at their players who don’t get it right on the first or second occasion? These coaches tend to continue to bore it up their players until they get it right. This type of feedback or coaching tends to develop passive learners or “drones” as I like to call them.
The best coaches in the world are like the best players. They are meta-aware of what’s going on in the game or what’s required in their team. They can read the game and can read people. So, as an aspiring coach, what would be my approach when asked by players how they performed in the game? I’d ask the players to own this. From reviewing their performance, players should be able to inform you what they did well and what they would like support on in regard to improvement. If they can’t do this, then the coach is there to assist. This teaches your players to become self-aware as they are working it out not the coach. Some coaches have argued against this approach with me stating that they feel that this team
metacognition approach is shirking their responsibility as a coach. My reply to them is that coaches who get their athletes thinking about their performance are complimenting their coaching rather than shirking it!
3
“The Pit”. Accepting the uncomfortable feelings that come from being in “The Pit”.
You know that feeling when you are trying to learn something new. You feel like you are in a hole or a pit? I will put it in another way. If I asked you to try riding a bike backwards, would it be easy for you to do? Would you feel comfortable performing that skill? When the going gets tough, would you prefer to return to your old way of riding forwards? It is times such as this when you feel
uncomfortable, that you are in “The Pit”. In fact, most of our best learning or growth occurs when we are in “The Pit. This is because to overcome the pit and to dig ourselves out of it we must articulate and perform the required skills and strategies. Athletes can be exposed to many different kind of pits. For example, Emotional Pits, Physical Pits, Technical Pits and Tactical Pits. Let’s take a golfer for example. If they can drive a ball 250m, however they are forced to change their grip to increase their level of consistency and distance, then they must be prepared to go into a technical pit. They must be prepared to get worse before they get better. Once their grip is adjusted, they might only be able to drive 200m.
“I believe a winning culture is one that never gives in, where all members clearly understand the goal, and they all works tirelessly towards it” – Jake Lilley
This is not a surprise to athletes who understand this and are prepared to go into the pit.
It is these types of coaches that like to tell the athlete or client everything in order to rescue them.
However, they have the belief that once they are patient, work hard, be resilient and back the process they will dig themselves out of this and become technically correct.
They are always on the lookout for what athletes are doing incorrectly in an aim of trying to fix them.
Most coaches don’t enjoy seeing their players in pits. These coaches tend to be more managers than leaders.
I encourage you to try and lead more in your coaching. Good coaches can always see ineffectiveness in individual and team performances, however they understand that if they fix everything, no one learns.
They have a great bank of questioning techniques that can make individuals self-reflect and narrow down the main problem. From here, the individual can opt for a disciplined direction to overcome the problem. It is during this time, that the coach feels like they too are in a pit. The best coaches relish this challenge. Good coaches and leaders understand how to stretch their players/employees in an aim of achieving growth without breaking the individual.
Culture, however, is the starting point for any quality learning. Continuous refinement and improvement is driven by a strong team culture. One where every team member knows that when they look left and right, they get the feeling that everyone has each other’s back.
The pinnacle is when you don’t even have to look, you just know!
Pictured - Jake Lilley - 23 Jake is currently ranked #1 ISAF sailor in the world - Finn Olympic Class. His 2016 results include: • • •
1st World Cup Final - Melbourne - Dec 2016 Rio Olympics - 8th - Finn Class - Aug 2016 1st World Cup - Heyres France - April 2016 Brendan Barlow Brendan is the current Deputy Principal at Wavell State High School in Brisbane. He is a former Head of Department for Physical Education and has an extensive background in coaching Rugby League. He has coached Queensland and Australian Schoolboy teams over many years as well as coached at the Australian Institute of Sport. In recent years, Brendan took three years leave to work at the Brisbane Broncos as the Elite Player Development Manager. During this time, Brendan developed a strong relationship with New Zealand Rugby Union where he gained important insights into team culture, values and player feedback.
Self Ad
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www.coachinglife. com.au
You remember that difficult one? The client who at first appeared so eager to change, making all the right sounds, and they seemed so keen to get started with you. You had high hopes and expectations for them.
Then life happened.
Great Results
Difficult Clients:
By Dr Steve & Stephanie Barlow
At first, you cut them some slack, because it can be difficult stepping into change when children are sick and there are urgent work matters to attend to. However, soon it became apparent that ‘life happening’ was a regular pattern. There were always excuses for not following through. Sure, you were understanding, but deep down you probably thought, “Hey, if you’re not prepared to actually do something, there’s not much point coming here.” No matter what strategies you attempted to put into place, the results were the same. There’s a big difference between knowing what you should do, and actually doing it. Ever had clients like that? www.CoachingLife.com.au
Just in case you think we’re overstating the issue, let us remind you about some studies done in the US.
Why does this happen?
What would you do to stay alive? Would you be prepared to change your diet, exercise more, or quit smoking if a heart specialist told you would die if you didn’t? Yes? Well, don’t be so sure.
First, there is a misconception – a misunderstanding in the mind of the client, and often in the coach’s mind too. There is a tendency for clients to think they are actually doing something to improve simply by getting a coach. They pay money, they turn up, and hear stuff – isn’t that doing something? Well, no, not really.
Research has shown that, when faced with this exact situation, only 14% of patients succeed at making the change. It’s not just coaches who deal with difficult clients;doctors deal with difficult patients too.
Let’s unpack this and try to understand the dynamics at play.
A mug on sale years ago carried this message: “I spend 8 hours a day here. Do you expect me to work too?” Turning up isn’t working. There is no magic in simply finding a coach and turning up.
A wonderful coach like you is absolutely no guarantee of their success. They need to do something – work on their business, career, relationships, or whatever; but mostly work on themselves. They need to work on the space between their ears: on the barriers that limit their own thinking.
We all know there are clients who will change whether we help them or not, and there are others who seem so stuck they are almost unable to change. There’s no shame in admitting that – personal change can be a very steep mountain to climb, and if people don’t have enough fitness, they’re likely to give up.
That’s easy to say, but how do you get them to do that? And how do you know exactly what they need to work on? We’ll get to that later.
So, what lies at the heart of successful change? What resources do your clients (and you) need to climb the arduous and difficult mountain of personal change (and, consequently, situational change)?
There is a second misconception. This is one coaches often make – that if you give your client the right inspiration and enough support, if you tick all the right boxes, then successful change is an almost inevitable outcome. Wrong! This is the myth of the efficacy of the coach. Now, we’re not saying that a great coach isn’t important – on the contrary, great coaching is extremely important. But let’s not forget the point here – it’s the client who has to do the changing. Holding the mirror and holding them accountable is fine, but you’re not there for them all the time.
They need change fitness. Never heard of change fitness? But you’ve heard of physical fitness, right? Remember the heart patients? The pull to fall back on old habits and old thinking is just too strong for many people. So, why should you wonder halfway through a client's sessions that not enough has changed? Hopefully, this is not always the case, but if you’re honest, it does happen.
What do you need to climb a steep mountain? A good guide? A clear path? A map of the territory? Sure, but they won’t help you much if you’re very unfit. You need more than all the things outside of you to get to the top – you need that critical thing inside of you. You need fitness.
I need more change fitness!
“Great coaches know how to develop change capacity.”
A great guide can’t give you fitness. You can’t get it from a map or a book. You only get it by doing the right exercises in the right way. Ultimately, you’ve got to work on you. If you’re not prepared to develop your own fitness, there’s not really that much the guide can do for you. He’s not going to put you on his back and carry you up the steep slope. It’s the same with change. You may be the best coach in the world, but you can’t give your clients the change fitness they need to succeed at change. They’ve got to work on it themselves. So, what do they need? What have they got to do? It depends – we all have different needs. So, how can you tell what each client needs? And how do you make sure they get what they need at the right time? Here’s the thing about coaching. Most coaches succeed at helping people who are highly change fit.
These clients see change as a challenge, and they’re usually up for it. They listen to what you say, and put it into practice – or at least, they try it out. They persist when it gets hard, and find ways around problems. You don’t really need to be a great coach to help self-starters like that. Great coaches know how to get good results from the difficult clients – the ones who don’t want to do much. Those that want the coach to wave a magic wand and make things better for them. The ones who have low change fitness. Great coaches know how to help their clients develop the change fitness they need to make it to the top of the mountain and see the view. Great coaches know how to develop change capacity. Do you want to learn how to do that?
Most coaches don’t know how to identify change fitness or how to develop it, but you can learn. Here are three clues to get you started.
1
Listen carefully to the language the client uses, especially when they use words like ‘always’, ‘never’, and ‘nothing’. These reveal stable worldviews that impact their ability to change.
2
Listen to the tone of their language – is it optimistic and forward-looking, or does it show resignation to current realities?
3
Analyse the recurring themes of their stories – what do they show about the client’s constructed reality? These will give you some idea of their level of change fitness. If you want a more precise measurement, talk to us about our change fitness assessment tool. Knowing how to work with change fitness is at the heart of great coaching. We’d love to tell you more, so why not drop us a line?
Dr Steve and Stephanie Barlow provide professional development for coaches in the areas of change fitness and change readiness. They have published 4 books on the topic, one of which is a text in 3 Masters programs at the University of Tasmania. Through their company, The Change Gym, they provide online training and development for coaches in Australia and overseas. To learn more about the programs, contact them at contact@thechangegym.com or (+61) 0404 056 788.
THE POWER OF COACHING Coaching can be an intimidating craft. There is so much to learn. To do it well you have to understand mechanics, physiology and human psychology at a minimum.
It’s no wonder we get asked for book recommendations so often. Knowledge is power, but it’s hard to know where to start.
By Mihir Thaker I often get questions from aspiring coaches who want to turn their passion for helping people and getting results into a career. The one that I get most often is “what’s your secret?” Well, the secret is that there’s no secret. There are however, a few common threads. Success leaves clues.
My Top 10 Tips for Aspiring Coaches
1
Know who you DON'T serve via your coaching (serving everyone is serving no one properly). The clearer you are in your sorting process the easier it is for you to get started and grow quickly.
Too often coaches tend to sell on time etc., which is meaningless.
If your skills are not specialized yet, take time to work with a wide variety of people before you know who you are uniquely positioned to serve.
Let them talk 80% of the time in the sales process to elicit real need and see if you can genuinely provide value.
Often people niche too quickly into a low volume market and never find their real market just because they haven’t tried reaching a wider audience.
2
Look at the value of your service from your potential clients' point of view. Your skills and your time means nothing to the other person. www.CoachingLife.com.au
Focus on where they are heading and show what your services can do for them.
3
Create a ritual of integration of learning for yourself after every coaching session. This is a deep meditative process wherein every time you work with a client you are growing as well. This will deepen your next session with your next client immensely. Connect with your higher consciousness to absorb all the learnings that came about for you as a result of your session.
4
Use your proper 'weight' in your session (weight = culmination of life's experiences, learnings and growth that has been internalized). Often coaches tend to throw too much weight beyond their skills/age/learning (which is creepy and cringy to watch) or too little weight (which is of disservice to the client). When you feel OK about whatever happens in your session, that's when you know you're asserting your proper weight in the clientcoach relationship.
5
Watch out for resets/end points in your contracts. Usually at right about the end point of your contract, things will fire up in a normally stable relationship (unconsciously), causing your client to eject you from their system. Page 43
So, plan a progression or termination conversation about 2-3 months in advance so as to have a smooth transition.
6
How you setup the sales process is how you’ll end up coaching (or not) One the key indicators of success or failures in coaching stems back to the coaching process. Often times in the sales process, your credibility, competence and trust factor gets established and unconsciously it calibrates your client to the level of success they can expect from you. This may be different from what they are asking at a conscious level. Pay attention to how you are creating these aspects of credibility, trust and competency in your sales process and you have a much better chance of helping your clients reach their goals smoothly.
7
Speak, speak and speak. Nothing beats being in front of your target audiences and conveying your message and building personal credibility.
Every time you speak, make sure you record your talks and start building your media kit. It becomes super useful as you progress in your journey. Every time I speak in front of my target audience, I make sure that I’m speaking to that ONE person who I want to deeply connect with. Usually, that ends with me signing them up as a longterm client.
8
Be flexible in your approach to helping your clients. At the end of the day, your clients are hiring you to help them achieve their results and often they need help with reaching your networks and contacts. Open the doors for them. Often they might need help in terms of payments or additional support. Do what you can while maintaining integrity of your coaching process and that it’s a ‘win-win’ for both.
9
Always ask for a video testimonial after your first ‘win’ with them.
As they work with you and experience your awesome coaching, after their first or second ‘win’, your clients will automatically calibrate their new life as the new ‘normal’. Make sure that before that phase sets in you are getting a testimonial for the work you’ve done so far. It will help them remember where they were before they started working with you and how you’ve helped them.
10
Learn to use metaphors in your coaching a lot. One of most effective tools for coaching that I personally use often is storytelling and sharing experiences of clients ‘just like them’ to create deeper rapport with the clients ecosystem to help influence the outcomes. Use movies, sitcoms, books, inspirational characters etc. What is incomplete in their system can be completed unconsciously through effective use of metaphors.
An intelligent and insightful well-sought after Business Coach, specializing in the executive and leadership field. His work involves working with CEOs, Executives, Consultants, Entrepreneurs and Small Business Owners who have become stuck in a rut and who need guidance and support to get back on track. Mihir, who has a Masters Degree in Telecomms, and a proven track record of helping businesses to get back onto the running track. This gives the mechanism for those to become more profitable, increase sales and growth, and effectively aligning the inner and outer aspects. “Our success as a species is tied together and I want to help facilitate success of everyone on this planet towards greater achievement and fulfilment.”
TOO MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED I am the creator of The Me Project, a business completely dedicated to helping people achieve their own personal versions of success. Yet, this fact has still not made me immune to my own epic failures. I found myself experiencing a physical breakdown on a regular day that required me to be functional. This was the result of a long-sustained period of committing myself to doing too much. By Hayley Nicole Wilson
I
am a highly-motivated person who finds it challenging to switch-off from achieving things.
A common theme in the coaching community and society at large is how can we motivate, inspire and create strategies for people to do more, to be more and to become even more. This has lead us to focus on how we can achieve goals, get more clients, earn more and aspire to having everything the material world offers us. This experience of over motivation negatively impacts the high achievers and perfectionists amongst us all just as seriously and dangerously as having too much stress can indeed shorten our lifespans. My excessive motivation to do as much as I could with my time to achieve success was slowly but surely undoing me and compromising the most important thing I have, my health and wellbeing. My Doctor pointed out to me that there are many successful people at our local cemetery. At that point in time, I found myself having many responsibilities. I was a business owner, a coach, a fiancé and a new mother.
I was highly-motivated, organising my overseas wedding, pushing my body through challenging exercise routines, keeping my home in order, executing a new marketing strategy, travelling interstate.
Success is a journey to be taken and not a goal with a deadline. It is filled up of many stages, involving glorious moments of peak performance and disastrous learning curves.
Then one day I unexpectedly woke up in such exhaustion that my stomach was in knots and I couldn’t breathe properly. Hilariously at the time it was all unfathomable to me!
The negative impact of excessive motivation is highlighted in psychology by Yerkes Dodson Law (1908) which reports that performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, however only up to a certain point.
I am an ambitious superhuman with things to achieve, right! How dare my body lose the plot… I haven’t even finished my blog entry for the day!
Excessive-motivation is triggered by fear of failure.
What I had learned from that experience is that we must take responsibility for ourselves, our over-achieving clients and society in cultivating a mindset that it’s truly ok to take some time to relax and simply do nothing. To simply be. Doing just as much as we can manage to do at any given moment and not over-extending ourselves in obtaining success. True creativity, brilliance and results can only come to fruition whilst in a balanced, healthy state of being.
When the level of arousal becomes too high, performance decreases. To draw their conclusion, psychologists Robert M Yerkes and John Dillingham Dodson conducted an experiment utilising rats which were running through a maze whilst receiving electrical shocks. When rats received mild electrical shocks, they navigated the maze and when shocks were stronger they became over stimulated and failed to complete it. This was not conducted on humans as interestingly that would be classified as torture. Poor rats! Taking charge of imbalanced perspectives which are too fixated on goal achievement at the expense of what’s truly necessary in life, vital rest and mental and physical recovery; is the best approach to helping our ambitious contacts to obtain success. Page 45
Where there is work, there must also be rest and play.
Too much stress makes you sick and ineffective. Such is the balanced perspective required to be successful and a coach’s vital role in effectively promoting that balance. Effective strategies that can be applied to help master your life balance or to use as part of a lifetransition strategy (major life change) include, but are not limited to:
Explore the nature of the motivation Overwhelmed is the best word to describe how overly committed, busy people feel. Being busy is a personal choice that has been made. Being busy is also a pain avoidance technique. Review the excessive actions and activities that are being taken and identify why you are choosing to partake in each of these activities. Is there an inherent fear of being alone and having to face yourself? Which activities are necessary?
Gain Perspective With an aim to help calm down your lifestyle, identify what your true core values are. If family, friendships are health represent your most important core values, yet you are neglecting these values through actions such as being a workaholic and an alcoholic; a space is suddenly created to reprioritise your energy into activities that really matter to you.
Focus on Self-Care As my Doctor said, there are plenty of successful people at our local cemetery. Looking after ourselves is crucial. So, identify what a successful life truly looks like to you and develop a healthy understanding of failure as being an important and unavoidable part of the success journey. You may come to a realisation that success is not what you have been conditioned to believe it to be. It’s a lot simpler than what we are sold through media and it’s completely personal. Understand and get the basics right, are you hydrated enough? Are you looking after your body, or punishing it?
How much sleep do you get? Learn to confidently say “no” to both important and unimportant opportunities to carve out time for yourself to just simply be (your “me time”). Learn strategies to be able to cope with your mental chatter.
Organise work around life Who said that we should squeeze in our personal life around the work part? When you diarise (always in advance) your pursuits for the week ahead, make sure you diarise all the life-enhancing aspects first, as a matter of priority. What enriches your spirit and awakens your soul? For myself, a run or a reflective walk alongside our bay always enriches me. So, I consider making time for that an absolute must. More so than making time for a spotless home. In the scheme of things, it makes cleaning far easier to approach when it gets done. Getting lost in parks and gardens resets my spirit almost immediately. More so than getting lost in a television screen or a late night of trying to finish everything on my goal list.
“Getting lost in parks and gardens resets my spirit”
It might seem somewhat frightening to relinquish control over activities you have given such weight to over the years, but the freedom in taking control of your wellbeing’s destiny will make you wish you changed things sooner.
Adopt a minimalist lifestyle The practice of owing less stuff tends to cause a positive shift, energetically. A clutter-free home is the byproduct of a clear mind. A minimalist lifestyle is one of less stress. Less stuff means less time working to pay for unnecessary stuff and more time to enjoy life as it’s best enjoyed. Having surplus cash to pay off any existing bad debts is also a nice side effect. You can start by trying a ‘one-in, one-out’ approach to items and using clothing you already have for new occasions. This lifestyle is not about having a lack of style or sacrificing quality items, it is a way to learn to value yourself more than material products.
Hayley Nicole Wilson is an Entrepreneur, Author of The Me Project Success Guide [2016], passionate Personal Development expert, Mother and compelling change agent. An authority on leading edge practical and spiritual pathways to success, Hayley designed The Me Project to empower people globally to realise their own unique vision of success. Her novel, Personal Success Sessions and thought-provoking videos are transforming lives globally. Her Personal Success Sessions are the most innovative in the global Personal Development/Life Coaching industry due to combining both practical and spiritual aspects to address all planes of human existence. Her tactics and strategies enable others to confidently become Personal Success Coaches, further making a difference to the lives of others.
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