23 COVID-19 Edition

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ISSUE 23 / SEP 2020

$15.00 RRP (inc GST)

CREATING SAFETY IN REMOTE CONVERSATIONS, LEADING LOST TO LOVE AFTER LOCKDOWN NEGOTIATION: ART OR SCIENCE, COVID VUCA! HEALTHY THINKING IN A CRAZY WORLD

COVID-19

“TIME FOR CHANGE? TIME FOR COACHING”

Stewart Fleming PCC

FROM THE EDITOR As of writing, there have been 11.4M cases of COVID-19 worldwide with 6.16M recovered and 534k deaths. The world has changed and will never go back to the way things were.

I had originally planned for this edition to be the 2020 Olympic Edition, but COVID-19 had other ideas.

It seems after 3 months of selfisolation, the world is starting to emerge, though the chance of a second wave of restrictions remains.

During this time, it seems that the world has reflected and, in many cases, put in place plans and practices that should have been in place already.

Businesses are working online much more with remote staff and client services.

Schools quickly adopted online lessons and home-schooling became the norm. It will be interesting to see what, if any, lasting changes will be seen in the school education sector.

Universities and trainers also switched to online learning with even some of the most conservative subjects being available remotely.

Of course, it hasn’t all been beer and skittles. As well as deaths, there have been countless job losses, business closures and a huge toll on mental health as people have been trapped inside their life.

In fact, the impact of stress and anxiety could outweigh the financial impact placed on our economy.

Now more than ever, people are looking for direction, leaders, coaches. Coaches who can help deal with uncertainty, find direction and show the way to hope and recovery.

It’s your time. Time to use all your skills and knowledge, time to stand and lead the way to global recovery.

Until next edition, stay safe and Happy Coaching.

Stewart Fleming PCC Editor

COACHINGLIFE JULY 2020 ISSUE 23 Coaching Life is published 4 times a year and is your authoritative source for information on coaching in sport, business, life and anywhere else you find a coach.

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www.coachinglife. com.au

CONTENT S

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6 HOW TO THRIVE UNDER PRESSURE IN UNPRECEDENTED TIMES (COVER) The world changed irreparably in early 2020 when the coronavirus pandemic spread across our planet; the fear, distress, and panic set in and our lives were instantly and drastically altered. Rich gives 3 top tips for helping yourself and your clients now.

Richard Maloney Founder Quality Mind Global

10 WHAT THEY DON’T TEACH IN COACHING SCHOOL As coaches, we need to “eat our own dog food” and be our best selves during this global crisis. Maria Newport, Current President of ICF Australiasia shares her hopes for the profession of coaching.

Maria Newport Managing Principal – Newport O’Conner Current President – ICF Australasia

14 FROM GRAND FAILURES TO GREAT VICTORIES We all know that success leads to more success. Winning increases dopamine levels which helps make you smarter and bolder. Nikita explores the role of Mindfulness in this cycle.

17 LEADING THE LOST IN LOVE AFTER LOCKDOWN Isolation has bought revelations and desolation at the same time. Our relationship export, Renee Slansky, looks at love, dating and how these relate to coaching in a post-COVID world. Do you have the answers you need?

Renee Slansky The Dating Directory

20 COVID-19 – A WAKE UP CALL FOR BUSINESSES When COVID-19 hit, many businesses were caught napping.

Now more than ever, we need to create strong relationships and do it faster than ever before. Alan Stevens shares his views on business relationships during COVID and beyond.

Alan Stevens The Campfire Project

22 CREATING SAFETY IN REMOTE CONVERSATIONS As a professional coach, your success depends on how quickly your clients feel comfortable enough to say what is on their minds. Creating a sense of safety online is now an essential tool for all professional coaches.

Marcia Reynolds PsyD, MCC ICF Founding Member

Bill Sweetenham Sweetenham Performance Consulting

www.coachinglife. com.au

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CONTENT S

34 446 4

38 42 4

27 TRUST, PURPOSE, ANXIETY, IDENTITY

38 COACHING THROUGH COVID AND BEYOND

Steve Barlow remembers his first day as a coach and shares the 4 key focus points for building trust with a client. This is a great article for the new coach and a timely reminder for those that have been coaching for a while.

Just as some businesses will sadly fail over this time, some coaches will get caught up in the doomsayers messaging saying that no-one has money for coaching. Lorraine shares ways to make COVID work for your business. A must read if you are a professional coach.

Steve Barlow The Change Gym

Lorraine Hamilton PCC CEO Coach School

30 NEGOTIATION SKILLS: ART OR SCIENCE

42 PUT YOUR OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST

We learn to negotiate naturally at an early age. From negotiating our environment to twisting our parents to our will. Margot Smith deep dives into negotiating with Do’s and Don’t for you next contract or deal negotiation.

Too often we hear of the accountant whose books don’t balance, the builder with an unfinished house and,… uh hum… the business coach without a clear and documented plan. Are you using this time to get your own house in order? Kevin confesses his missteps and owns his next step forward.

Margot Smith GM – Institute of Managers and Leaders

Kevin Gammie Founder – Brisbane Small Business

34 COVID VUCA! HEALTHY THINKING In an increasingly uncertain world, we face Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity at every turn. What will your world look like in the next 3, 6 or 12 months? As always, begin with the end in mind and check out this article.

Glenn Capelli Better Smarter Wiser

46 ONE QUESTION Working with people who can feel, see and hear things others can’t, is amazing. It’s not always easy and sometimes growth hurts, but who doesn’t like pain? What is the one question you need to hear?

Danny van Soelen Director – The House of Answers

www.coachinglife. com.au

STRESS FREE

How to Thrive Under Pressure in Unprecedented Times.

The world changed irreparably in early 2020 when the coronavirus pandemic spread across our planet, and as the devastation raged through countries and continents like wildfire; the fear, distress, and panic set in and our lives were instantly and drastically altered.

While the virus itself is most certainly a terrifying prospect, many of us have found the potential financial ramifications to be even more ominous, and when the health crisis diminishes and we are left to pick up the shattered economic pieces, we will regrettably find ourselves facing a new and equally hazardous wave of fear and uncertainty.

For many, this will evoke unprecedented levels of stress, worry, and anxiety.

Statistics tell us that there probably isn’t a family on the planet unaffected by mental illness, and with the Covid-19 crisis and its subsequent burdens

thrust upon us, this mental health endemic has only been amplified.

Depression and anxiety are everywhere, but so many people suffer in silence, partly because these conditions can be difficult to speak about, but also because care can be hard, or costly to access.

In half of the countries in the world today, there are fewer than 4 mental health workers for every 100,000 people, and with suicide remaining the leading cause of death for young people in most developed countries, it’s clear that we need better options that can be made available to more people, so we have two key challenges: Finding new ways to giving people access to treatments, and then ensuring the treatments we give people access to are effective and lasting.

Drug based treatment, talking therapy or psychotherapy are all forms of treatment that work for many, but as a Coach, you can offer and practice an effective alternative to these mainstream treatment options, with the aim of eradicating the root cause of stress, anxiety, burnout, and breakdown, which can manifest physically and mentally in so many damaging ways.

Now more than ever, mindfulness and mind management are crucial. How we react to a difficult situation will affect how stress affects us and our overall health and wellbeing.

A persistently negative response to challenges can have a detrimental effect on health and happiness, however, being aware of how you react to stressors and learning how to effectively manage them will help reduce the negative feelings and effects of stress.

Everything is neutral until you give it meaning Everything is neutral until you give it meaning, and far too often we are our own worst enemy, getting in our own way of success, fulfilment and happiness, weighed down by limiting beliefs and worry. And does worrying change anything? Well yes, it does.

Fears and worries tend to spiral and gain momentum, and the more you fear, the more you fear!

The key to being Stress-Free and thriving under pressure, is through continual selfawareness and self-regulation.

It’s about recognizing your thoughts and actively changing them where necessary.

One of the biggest human triggers is harboring repeating fears, however this is something anyone can control with practice, and the results are instant and profound.

When you become stressed, worried or fearful of what’s happened in the past, what may or may not happen in the future or what other’s may think of you, you lose the momentum of life, you get out of alignment with your true potential, and you lose touch with your true self.

This is where you run in to trouble and manifest anxiety, however once you begin to change that negative record playing over and over in your head and think differently, you start to feel differently, and then you do differently, and that can quite literally alter what’s happening in your body.

The body is led by the mind, and if you take simple, meaningful daily action, the results can be life altering.

Here are just three very simple ways to begin changing your thoughts, which will in turn change your life:

#1

Your Thoughts & Words Vibrate

The power of sound is conditioning your mind to constantly experience what you speak, whether that be via your inner or outer voice. The words you speak to others, or to yourself, can be weakening your vibration and causing you to feel bad. Your words guide your mind and body towards the experiences you want to have.

#2

Start saying more kind things to yourself and to others. Use your words to empower yourself, affirm exactly what you want to experience and consciously change the words you speak to yourself and to those around you.

All thoughts create! So be careful what you’re creating for yourself.

Overwhelm Popping

Everyday obstacles are a fact of life, but it’s all about how we tackle these obstacles and the subsequent thoughts that accompany them.

Bubble Popping is a self-coaching tool that allows you to remove harmful ‘deeper’ challenges that are holding you back, and then supports you as you process and dissolve them. Firstly, you need to identify and document your limiting belief (for example, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I want from life”, “I will never get out of debt” or “I will

#3

For example, choosing not to say anything negative for 24 hours will help you become more conscious of the things you say to yourself and to others. This is a wonderful challenge that you can do by yourself or with someone else. A lot of times we don't even realize how many negative things we say. Always keep the power of your words in mind.

never find the one for me”).

Remember the thought bubbles above the heads of our most loved comic book characters growing up? Well, your thought goes into a bubble much like that — you work through the following questions, and then you pop that bubble to eliminate the issue: What’s weighing on your mind right now?

Out of 10, how much is this concern bothering you? (1-not very/10 extreme)

Describe how you’re feeling Why do you think you are allowing this to affect you?

What actionable variables can you change, if any?

What thoughts would make you feel better?

What are the 5 benefits of this happening now?

What do you need to do and what action will you take now?

Now reassess (out of 10) how much this is bothering you and repeat until you score 3 or less.

Gratitude & Appreciation

Taking a few minutes every day to wake up with gratitude will immediately raise your vibration and allow for more positivity and success in your life. Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations we can feel along with love, freedom, and empowerment. Starting your day with thoughts of gratitude can set the tone for the entire day.

What are your first thoughts when you awaken?

Try to consciously start your day with feelings of gratitude, love, and peace.

The energy of gratitude can help change your mood from a bleak to blissful.

There is so much to be grateful for, and when we take even one minute out of our day to express gratitude, we are giving ourselves a warm boost of love and focus. What are you grateful for?

Making a gratitude list shifts your vibrations from focusing on what you don't have to what is already abundant in your life.

Catching the thought patterns that contribute to a negative cycle before there’s a decline in mental health is the crucial first step.

Whatever you focus your thoughts on and desire with all your heart, you can create. We choose our own reality by the meaning we give each moment in our lives. Make it your intention to look for the good in your life, to notice the good in others, to be grateful for what you do have, and to see challenges as opportunities to show your true character.

Remember: what you give your attention to, will become your experience in life. Think the best, expect the best, and always ask yourself, how can this benefit my life?

Richard Maloney is the founder and CEO of Quality Mind Global, an international mindfulness business with over 500 clients in 30+ countries. He is also the founder of Engage & Grow Global, which is now the number one employee engagement licensing company in the world.

Now, he has a unique and tangible system designed to minimize or eliminate stress from business leaders and executives through systematic mental training, allowing you to unlock your ultimate capability and your true potential, both at work and in life.

For more on the Quality Mind Program & App, or to purchase the book Stress Free – How to Thrive Under Pressure in Unprecedented Times, go to

www.qualitymindglobal.com

By Maria Newport

Coaching in the Time of COVID-19 or What they don’t Teach you in Coaching School1 Drought, floods and even bushfires feel like a distant memory with Covid-19 emerging here in late January and the subsequent lockdowns across Australia and New Zealand in late March, this year. We have been lucky here in Australasia, benefitting from the knowledge of what has happened elsewhere and being geographically distanced from global hot spots.

New Zealand locked down hard and fast and are in the enviable position of having lifted restrictions, except border controls, declaring the country “virus free”. But, as Prime Minister Jacinda Arden has warned, “We will almost certainly see cases here again”.23 In Australia, there have been only 102 deaths of 7,290 known cases - far lower than anticipated.45 However, we are subject to Stage 2 restrictions with variances between states, with an anticipated easing of restrictions in July. So, we are not out of the woods yet.

The pandemic has also meant disruption to the global economy on a scale not seen since the Second World War and the biggest contraction of the economy since the Great Depression.67 But hopefully we will be in a position to return to normality faster than other countries. 8 So, beyond the potential threats to our physical and fiscal health, how are we faring amidst this crisis? What is the role of coaching now? What do we need beyond coach training? And what might the hope be for the coaching profession?

1

Sara Smith MCC (Chair of the ICF Professional Coaches Global Board) at the recent International Coaching Federation Global Leaders’ Forum https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/08/new-zealand-abandons-covid-19-restrictions-after-nation-declared-no-cases 3 https://www.tepunahamatatini.ac.nz/2020/05/22/effective-reproduction-number-for-covid-19-in-aotearoa-new-zealand/ 4 https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/the-maths-and-ethics-of-minimising-covid-19-deaths 5 (https://www.health.gov.au/news/health-alerts/novel-coronavirus-2019-ncov-health-alert/coronavirus-covid-19-current-situation-and-case-numbers#at-aglance).

6 https://www.theguardian.com/business/grogonomics/2020/jun/03/yes-australia-is-in-a-recession-but-worse-is-yet-to-come, 7 https://www.sgsep.com.au/publications/insights/the-economic-impact-of-covid-19-and-bushfires 8 https://www.asb.co.nz/documents/economic-research/quarterly-economic-forecasts/fast-and-furious.html 2

RWeOK? McCrindle have conducted a survey exploring the social impact of the pandemic, particularly how it was shaping the sentiment, behaviour and the outlook of Australians. In April, many felt uncertain to some extent about the future (91%) and most believed It would take time (between four months and two years) for things to return to normal. Many also felt anxious (45%), frustrated (37%) and vulnerable (29%). Less than a third of the population was optimistic and hopeful about the impact of the pandemic.9 My own clients have generally been experiencing an underlying, low-level concern about a disease of which which little is known and for which there is no vaccine yet. They are also stressed about: working from home; leading teams virtually; increased working hours; restructuring and redundancies; financial concerns; overseeing the education of children; domestic conflict; physical and social isolation from family, friends, colleagues and community. Particularly impacted are those with pre-existing medical/mental health/ relationship issues and/or those separated from friends and family overseas.

What is the role of coaching?

Coaches are familiar with “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential’.10 Not easy though, when coaches and clients are feeling less positive and energetic as they might have been pre-pandemic.

I am seeing this firsthand with clients across the spectrum, regardless of seniority, expertise, experience, gender, background or financial situation.

There is a need now for coaches to help clients prioritise health and wellbeing as a precursor to coaching for development and performance.

Unlike therapy, we are not qualified to treat clients as patients for clinical issues and we are ethically responsible to refer clients on as appropriate.1112 I have personally benefitted from becoming an accredited Mental Health First Aider this year and recommend this training for all coaches, given the high likelihood you will need to support clients in real time who are not coping with stress, anxiety or depression.

This training can increase coach knowledge of mental health, decreases negative attitudes, and increases supportive behaviours toward those with mental health problems. 13 To coach clients effectively motivation is key.

A lack of energy, optimism or belief in self-efficacy will undermine even the most capable or confident person.

9

https://mcusercontent.com/67b4fab5443dc01979bcddb32/files/71fbae72-7aa3-4003-8223-697920f8e227/COVID19_Report_April.pdf

10

https://coachfederation.org/about

11

If they suspect someone needs professional support for mental illness, ICF coaches are professionally obliged, under the ICF Code of Ethics, to refer clients to other professionals when deemed appropriate or necessary (e.g. psychologist, counsellor, psychiatrist and GP for a referral and to ask about eligibility for a Mental Health Care Plan. ICF coaches also undertake to take all reasonable steps to notify the appropriate authorities in the event a client discloses an intention to endanger self or others, 12

https://coachfederation.org/app/uploads/2018/05/Whitepaper-Client-Referral.pdf Hadlaczky G, HĂśkby S, Mkrtchian A, Carli V, Wasserman D. Mental Health First Aid is an effective public health intervention for improving knowledge, attitudes, and behaviour: a meta-analysis. International Review of Psychiatry 2014; 26: 467-475.

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Beyond coaching skills what do we need?

•

Eat our own dog food – Business Development Training, Coaching/Mentoring/Supervision

Most coaches are experiencing similar challenges to their clients – unprecedented change to their businesses (e.g. loss of face to face work, inability to travel), the need to pivot and adapt (e.g. redesigning online and virtual programs), accelerated upskilling and capability development (e.g. delivery via interactive videoconferencing tools), and impacted wellbeing and work/life balance (e.g. working from home with family obligations or working in isolation).

•

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) Business Development Series (BDS) is a virtual program designed specifically to help coaches build, sustain, and expand successful coaching practices. 14 Being coached/mentored or supervised by colleagues, helps build greater empathy for our clients’ needs and greater credibility when we model the agility needed to face business disruption, transformation and change.

✓ Health and Wellbeing – ensure you are eating and sleeping well, getting enough exercise and have a daily mindfulness practice. I recently invested in the latest Fitbit, which provides real time data re movement, calorie consumption, heart rate, sleep quality, breathing, etc. Health insurance companies in the US are giving their insured’s wearables based on research that they support healthy lifestyles and may lower potential claims.16 ✓ Self-care – many of the things we enjoy have not been possible this year – eating out, travelling, socialising, etc. Find the time to do simple things you enjoy (e.g. positive experiences that foster engagement, relationships, have meaning and give a feeling of accomplishment), even if they are outside, with less people and closer to home to increase happiness and wellbeing.17

Be our best selves

Coaches also need to have coaching presence to support clients effectively. Coach training will only get a coach so far who is not personally disciplined around the following: ✓ Information hygiene – stay informed about the pandemic and current affairs, but choose your information sources wisely. With the advent of social media, the potential for disinformation and a negativity bias is a real issue. Refer to credible authorities and evidence-based peer reviewed research.15 ✓ Professional development – regardless of how long you have been coaching, adopt a growth mindset and build capability through accredited training courses (where you can also earn CCEUs for coach credentialing). Many are being offered online at discounted rates at the moment.

Maria Newport is the Managing Principal at Newport O'Connor - a boutique consulting firm. She was previously Principal Talent Management Consultant, Regional Commercial Lead for Coaching and Sales Lead (New South Wales) for a global human capital consultancy.

What is the hope for the coaching profession?

The ICF’s vision is that coaching is an integral part of a thriving society. A profession of resilient, capable, credentialed and ethical coaches is key to helping individuals all over the world achieve their personal and professional goals by rebuilding communities and economies.

Maria specialises in strategy, workforce planning, learning and development, executive coaching (leaders, high potentials and diversity candidates) and workplace mediation in global organisations and professional service firms. She previously had a boutique retained executive search and consulting firm in New York.

Now more than ever leveraging professional associations, like the ICF and its communities, member benefits18, resources19, research20 and the ICF Foundation can help coaches be the change they want to see in the world.

Maria is also accredited in various psychometric instruments and has a special interest in diversity/inclusion and wellbeing/resilience.

14

18

15

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https://coachfederation.org/events/business-development-series https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/fake-news-in-the-age-of-covid-19 16 https://time.com/5515510/apple-aetna-watch-insurance/ 17 https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/sites/default/files/permawellbeing.pdf

https://coachfederation.org/why-icf/benefits https://coachfederation.org/covid-19-resources-for-coaches 20 https://coachfederation.org/research

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// 25

BECOMING AN INTERNATIONAL COACH

By Bill Sweetenham Here is my detailed outline for a developing 25-year-old coach/trainer in today’s world.

This is what I would do at 25 in order to develop as a world level coach with ambitions at the global level.

1. Have a single minded purpose to succeed at this level. Don’t compromise your purpose or commitment for any reason or any person.

3. Be visionary in all that you do and be an original - copies are never as good as an original, yet the coaching world is a photocopy.

Avoid this at all cost.

5. Learn to coach before you learn to train. Training is the physical aspect from head down and coaching is neural and sensory from the neck up.

2. Complete a psychology course at university level. Place this above any leadership course. You either have leadership tendencies or you don’t. You can slightly enhance leadership, but only marginally. You have missed the boat.

4. Understand the difference between coaching and training.

Many can train athletes, few can coach and even fewer can do both coaching and training.

If you can address this, then you will be ahead of your opposition right from the start.

6. Spend 12 months or more observing the very best operators in the world OUTSIDE of the field of endeavour.

Should you not be prepared to address ALL of the above, then my strong recommendation is to find a different career and do it immediately in order to save both your energy and/or waste athletic talent.

Now and only now, the following applies.

1. Know the heart and mind of the athletes and staff you are working with. Work with people, never for people.

2. Committees never work so avoid this at all cost. Committees are made up of people who are not committed. They are involved without commitment, responsibility and accountability no matter what anyone says to the contrary. Work with a president, secretary and one other. Always three, same as female athlete principle, two will gang up on one. With female athletes, only ever coach in even numbers. But the opposite applies to Boards.

3. Have a complete understanding of the heart and mind of those you work with from athletes to support staff and employer(s). Surround yourself with good, right and best people. With support staff, employ people in preference to the position and select young ruthlessly ambitious people who have “tasted“ under-achievement and failure.

They know and can appreciate the difference between this and winning.

These people are driven.

4. Make use of the “misinformation” tool against your opposition! They are gullible and lazy. They will be motivated and driven by shortcuts and compromise! Assume nothing.

As you can see with the timing of this information, I work 12 to 16 hour days so whilst I may not be the most gifted or talented trainer/coach in the world, I am difficult to beat simply because of time at task in advance of all opposition. Opportunity never gets past me.

5. Be innovative and run where others walk ALL of the time.

11. Look in the mirror frequently and honestly.

6. On the staff, have an association with a solicitor!!! You may need this in contractual employment and athlete management and staff related matters.

12. Know what you know and know what you don’t, but always know someone who does - and invest in them.

7. Be the very best man manager in the business. In today’s world trainers tell me that the athletes have a sense of entitlement and will not commit to do what is required. It is the coaches with their sense of entitlement and compromise who lead this weakness, not so the athletes.

8. Identify the individual weakness in your opposition and exploit that with ruthless execution of operation.

Process is what great coaches do without ever having to focus on process. It’s automatic to them and how they operate and deliver.

Remember the athlete and staff do not care about your past personal achievements until they know that you care and understand.

Appreciate them personally.

9. Never stop education, development and learning. Avoid non-achievers and theorists.

10. Go to those who can teach you and be the very best learner and listener ahead of all in your field and every other field of winning performance. Learn to listen and teach before you can coach.

Whether I am or not is irrelevant – more that I think I can be the best teacher of people!

Swimming like most sport is about “mobility with resistance”. This drives every practise that I design and deliver. Specialisation, individualism and accuracy must be evident at each and every practise for the individual. I consider this to be MY winning point of difference.

Unconditional belief that I do this and achieve this in advance of all others. I am good at this.

14. I can convert passion for the task into belief and with athlete and coaching focus we can create winning. More gold medals at ALL competitions ahead of silver and bronze medals. This has and always will be my personal conviction to excellence. I want all observing to be able to clearly identify Bill Sweetenham athletes because without knowing this fact, the athletes deliver in the face of adversity and obstruction superior well rehearsed mental and physical skills ahead of all others, not only in swimming but all sport.

They perform and deliver outcomes ahead of individual potential consistently and persistently in all situations. I want never to be in a building or redevelopment situation, I need to be in a delivery situation when it comes to outcomes ahead of team and individual potential.

15. Stand-out and current global coaches who can achieve this are Fred V, Jon R, Ben T, Michael B, Chris N, Dave McN and all coaches who have achieved winning global performances at three Olympics / World Long Course with at least three different athletes.

If I were a young 25-year-old coach with global ambition, I would seek these coaches out and learn and listen.

My focus would be to learn and listen and put in place a methodology and system to defeat them as soon as possible.

No restrictions, excuses or reasons for failure be acceptable.

Learn and listen outside of swimming but with the same purpose and attitude!

Bill Sweetenham has served as Head Coach of national swimming teams at 5 Olympic Games for 3 different countries, and has coached swimmers to success at 9 World Championships and 8 Commonwealth Games.

Under Bill's management as National Performance Director of British Swimming, Britain's swimmers won 18 World Championship titles, broke more than 200 domestic records and produced their best ever Commonwealth Games, World Championships and Olympic Games results.

Bill is internationally recognised for his strategic planning capabilities in high performance sport.

Welcome to the new world.

We are no longer observing the romantic interest that develops in a Hollywood blockbuster when boy meets girls during a global virus outbreak – we are living it.

Save the zombie apocalypse, it’s safe to say we never thought that as humans and coaches we would have to lead people throughout a global pandemic due to the COVID-19 outbreak that ravaged our planet and population.

Leading even without all the answers.

As coaches, we are now called to uncharted waters. We are navigating a sea of questions, uncertainty and unprecedented events that have affected humanity both physically, mentally, emotionally and even economically.

Whether your clients have been isolated solely or with a significant other, either way the balance has been thrown and any fundamental ‘rules’ we have long taught now need to be adjusted.

We can no longer prescribe them the usual tactics that involve the

same level of human contact or social outlet to enhance their life, perspective or relationship.

Like them, we are also placed under limits to preserve health, safety and protect the ones at risk. And so, we need to know how to be able to still give direction that is effective even under restriction.

Unfamiliar questions will be asked, your capacity will be expanded and more than ever your ability to be able to lead and coach will be tested.

Your clients will not only lean on you for guidance and advice but will also be seeking your leadership as their light in the tunnel of post Covid-19 confusion and fear.

They will expect you to have the answers to something that we are all still working out.

In short you are building the plane whilst you are already mid-air and people are counting on you not crash.

Isolation has brought revelation or desolation Isolation has not brought solitude Issues in relationships and marriages and peace. It has caused revelation or that were dormant or swept under desolation and even desperation. the rug are now rearing their ugly heads. Identity, purpose, love, life, all The world has been forced into a of it is being questioned now. universal traumatic event that has affected people beyond what they Confinement is the magnifying glass were prepared for. we have all been avoiding, but now your clients want to know how to put the fire out.

Now is not a time to dissect, but rather direct.

We all know that the 2 main reasons why people create toxic cycles in their life is because of fear and lack.

Whether it is a lack of knowledge or self-love or perhaps a fear of failure or being hurt – either way these two are now heightened because of the global pandemic.

Your clients have been released back into the wild, eager to be able to return to normality; but completely clueless on how to be able to do that successfully now that a new normal exists.

They have had time to digest internally all their fears, worry and issues – now they need a plan of action to help them move past them and not allow these struggles to become their identity.

Your clients will need daily actions and achievable plans that can give them both instant and long-term results.

They need to feel like they haven’t lost control; that progression and even acceleration is something they have access to.

They need something tangible, positive and within the train lines that they can stay on track and feel like they have a GPS on what to do, where to go and how to react when it comes to building relationships in apocalyptic times.

Right now, they don’t need the WHY; they need the HOW They are lost sheep needing a Shepheard. They are individuals and couples who have had months of reflection, conflict, frustration or loneliness and are now expected to perform as they did before confinement, which leaves them feeling even more isolated and confused.

Closing the gap.

After months of telling people to physically distance, it is now a time for reconnection between the divide.

People have been living off fear and a newly constructed reality, so it’s time to teach them that human connection is the basis of building strong and functional relationships.

We need to be able to once again highlight the importance of being able to share energy and personal interaction with people we want to build a relationship with, without the fear of being wounded or infected in the process.

Truth is you will have two type of clients – the first will be clients who want to go full throttle into love after months of withdrawal. They will be inclined to rush the beginning stages of dating or justify toxic decisions in a relationship. They crave intimacy and physical touch and want to feel like they can orchestrate love.

Typically, this type of client will experience dating fatigue, love burnout and most likely become attached to people they know little about.

The second type of clients are the ones who will tread lightly. They will be hesitant, anxious, even avoidant to be able to reconnect again due to fear of being infected or perhaps scared to break the safety bubble they have created in isolation.

This type of client needs a push. They need to be reassured that they can still control their love life without having fear as the driving force.

Either way both types need accountability.

The future is what we make it.

One of the most limiting mindsets that I have professionally encountered during this time is that people believe

“this year is over” for them, even though we are only halfway through.

They have resigned to failure, low expectations and disappointment because of the last few months of havoc.

Your clients need inspiration. They need to know that the past doesn’t equal the future and that they still have the power of choice.

Right now, they need to feel that things can turn around even if the first 6 months didn’t go to plan.

They need to feel hope again and have a new vision in their heart and mind.

You have the answers, Renee Slansky is an Australian TV presenter, writer, professional blogger trust your ability and dating and relationship coach, whose purpose and heart for women Whilst you may not have all the answers, you do have more clarity then they do.

This is a time to adapt and believe that despite the crisis of yesterday and the uncertainty of tomorrow, we can still lead people even through troubled waters.

www.thedatingdirectory.co Twitter: @reneeslansky Insta: @the.dating.directory @reneeslansky FB: /reneeslansky /thedatingdirectory

compelled her to educate people on how to find, build and cultivate healthy and fulfilling relationships. Her own blog www.thedatingdirectory.co is now the number 1 dating and relationship blog in Australia.

Renee contributes advice regularly to some of the biggest online dating sites and publications globally including The Huffington Post, E Harmony, Plenty of Fish, Your Tango, MamaMia, The Good Men Project, The Love Destination and Yahoo 7.

As a professional coach, Renee has built an online programme for women and mentors both men and women around the world. She is often called to comment as an expert for on the radio and Channel 7’s The Morning Show and Sunrise and speaks at events. Her mission to bring about love education into schools and change a generation.

COVID-19 - A Wake-Up Call for Businesses There is no such thing as a business relationship and business owners and executive who fail to make that distinction set their business on a pathway to failure.

Recently Bill Gates said that the one question he didn’t ask himself when he was with Microsoft, but one he asks himself now is “How are my business relationships? Are they growing and how am I nurturing them?” But even now, he still hasn’t got it right.

Firstly, there is no such thing as a business relationship. Yes, we have to have strong relationships to start, grow and maintain a business. Businesses, however, do not talk to each other. The organisations, the buildings do not talk to each other. It is the people in the business that talk to each other.

Your business model might be business to business (B2B) or it might be business to customer (B2C) but every transaction with clients, employees and staff are human to human. And every one of those relationships are personal relationships.

You might say that I’m splitting hairs and just quibbling over semantics. The reality is that there is a huge problem created when we just focus on building business relationships. To start with, we forget the relationships with employees. We expect that because they have a job that they should have loyalty to the business. It doesn’t work that way though.

From the Gallup research in 2016 it was found that 66 percent of employees were disengaged in their work. The first 48 percent were just disengaged, and the other 18 percent were actively disengaged. Not only were they not happy in their work, they made it obvious to everyone around them. And this took its toll on those who had previously enjoyed their work. And disengaged people only do what they had to do to keep their jobs.

With productivity dropping, many managers started micromanaging their staff. This created further problems.

Micromanaged employees feel they are not trusted. And such appalling leadership leaves staff feeling they are being bullied and the productivity of those workers can drop by up to 70%.

Add to this that the productivity of those who observe others being bullied reduces by up to 40%. In many organisations total productivity reduced by an average of 29%. That should have been enough incentive for businesses to take action. Those that did though mostly settled on putting in new systems, increased KPI demands and management controls. But this only exacerbated the situation as many confused management for leadership.

In 2018, the Gallup research showed that the number of disengaged had grown to 87 percent. Another 21 percent of disengaged employees. This left many businesses at a financial disadvantage as the COVID-19 pandemic hit.

Many of those business who shut their doors will not open again. And those who do re-open but who have poor relationships with their staff will find it very hard to recover.

Those who will come back the fastest will be those who had invested in their relationships with their staff.

Where businesses should have been investing more in was emotional intelligence and leadership training and less on management training.

Leadership training and staff development training though is the first to go in tough times.

What many executives and business owners neglected to understand is that it’s the employees who deal directly with customers and clients. It is they who have the relationships and when staff are disengaged, this rubs off on clients and customers very quickly.

This was driven home in a conversation I had with the CEO of a national company when I asked him what his primary responsibility was when he took over the reins of his company.

His replied he was and is responsible to his shareholders and to that he reduced overheads and wastage as well as ‘right sized’ the organisation.

When I asked what he had done about the staff, he said HR had handled them. I told him, no not those who left, but those who remained. His responded that it was expected that they would just get on with their work, but the reality was that they would have been unsure of their own futures. Their performance would have dropped similar to those who either felt bullied or who had observed others being bullied, which rubs off directly on the customers and clients.

The company lost clients and the average client spend of those who remained had also dropped.

It took somewhere between 12 to 18 months to turn things around. The time frame directly related to the time for staff to feel some security again and then to start building relationships with their customer again.

COVID-19 has made it tougher for many businesses, but hopefully, it has driven home the need to build personal relationships. Hopefully, the social connectiveness we are seeing on social media will extend into business, and business owners will recognise the need for a focus on social and emotional skills learning.

For Free Tips on how to Build Relationships Faster download The 7 Secrets to Reading People alanstevens.com.au/7secrets Contact me then if you would also like a free course on how to read if someone is lying.

Alan Stevens is an International Profiling and Communications Specialist who has worked with international clients, the likes of Disney Films and Gillette, and highprofile organisations like the Australian Federal Police to help them to be able to understand how people tick. Alan works with business owners and executives, helping them to understand and engage their clients and prospects, enhancing their presentations and negotiation skills. And with parents and teachers to help them enhance the ability of their children to reach their full potential while improving the experience of the parents, teachers, and students.

His latest community initiative is The Campfire Project. The Campfire is a safe place for men and women to give themselves permission to tell their stories. To share their experiences and wisdom from around the world. This is his #WeTogether initiative

Creating a I Sense of Safety in Your Remote Conversations

by MARCIA REYNOLDS, PSYD belong to a community that gathers online once a week to help each other make short promotional videos. I don’t know these people outside of our gatherings, but I can tell you who I would trust to work with and who I would avoid. Although I learned to coach remotely a long time ago, this community has added to my “rule list” for creating a sense of trust and safety online to quickly create a strong connection with my clients.

Your success depends on how quickly your clients feel comfortable enough to say what is on their minds. This may be more difficult to do online than live, but it is just as critical to achieving a satisfying outcome. Your clients need to know you won’t judge them when

they express emotions, which includes trying to make them feel better instead of accepting how they feel. Coaching is often the only place people can show up and fully be themselves. You must create conditions that generate trust and safety quickly in your online conversations.

fears.2 The quality of your presence needs to relieve their wariness.

When people feel psychological safe, the need to protect and defend oneself is regulated down. Only then will they be open and willing to explore what else they might think and feel right now.

ONLINE PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY

SPACE PSYCHOLOGY AFFECTS SAFETY

Creating a psychologically safe environment is more difficult in times of crisis and uncertainty when people are experiencing high levels of fear and doubt. Social distancing caused anxiety, depression, stress.1 As communities open up, many people are afraid to go back to work and to talk about their struggles and

In addition to your personal presence, the visible environment on your screen affects warmth and safety. New School of Architecture and Design professor Dave Alan Kopec says lighting, colors, objects, and proportion have a direct impact on emotions and perceptions.3 What people

see on their computer screen impacts their level of comfort.

PREPARING YOUR INNER AND OUTER SPACE

Follow these five tips for managing your inner and outer space to establish a safe and trusting connection in your remote conversations: 1) Prepare your stage.

Get dressed like it’s a regular workday.

Make sure your room is free of clutter. Zoom’s virtual backgrounds don’t always work but if you use them, choose a professional image.

Position yourself to have light in front of you so the image is smooth. Make sure

you have enough power and bandwidth for undisrupted communications. Look into the camera when you talk and listen.

Have your head fill most of the screen so people feel you are with them, leaving just a little breathing room between you and the top of the screen so you aren’t overwhelming.

Turn off your phone and computer notifications.

Make sure there are no pets demanding attention.

2) Choose your emotional state.

Release your stress before the call; you can’t hide it. Even virtually, they will feel your tension and judge you as lacking in warmth and engagement.

To release tenseness in your body, breathe in the emotions you want to feel, such as “curious and care.” If the conversation becomes emotionally challenging, maintain visual contact. It is better to state what you are feeling than trying to mask your emotions. Even fleeting changes in your expressions impact the conversation.

3) Be compassionately curious about their personal state before diving in.

Inquire how they are feeling right now.

Ask if anything that happened that day is still lingering in their thoughts and what they need to do to be present to the conversation. Even if they say they are ready to talk, give them time to shift their focus to the coaching conversation.

Listen deeply to their stories before pushing for the outcome they want to achieve. Ask about the meaning of the words they choose to make sure you understand what they mean and need.

1. Amy Woodyatt, “Experts warn of urgent need for Covid-a9 mental health research.” CNN, April 15, 2020. https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/15/ health/covid-19-mental-health-pandemicwellness-intl-scli-gbr/index.html 2. The WellBeing Lab, The Wellbeing Lab 2020 Workplace Report, May 2020. https://wellbeinglab.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/USReport2020.pdf 3. Christele Harrouk. “Psychology of Space: How Interiors Impact our Behavior” 20 Mar 2020.

ArchDaily. https://www.archdaily.com/936027/ psychology-of-space-how-interiors-impact-ourbehavior/

As they relate their story, help them examine the usefulness of their beliefs about the present situation and assumptions about the future. This will help their brains focus, bringing the clarity they to move beyond the stories they are living by today.

4) Practice non-reactive empathy so they feel heard, not coddled.

Many coaches tell me they are sensitive and deeply feel their client’s emotions. Getting attached in coaching is a bad habit, not a noble fault. You must learn to take in what they are expressing, notice how you feel, but then breathe and release the feelings so you can return to exploring what the emotions mean to them and their desired outcome. This is called using non-reactive empathy.

You should never try to make your clients feel better. This means you are judging their reactions. They will feel weakened, frustrated, or guilty for making you feel badly. You aren’t there to cheer them up. Your job is to make them feel okay no

matter what they are feeling. Then you can process their reactions together.

Remember, you are coaching the person to solve their own problems. You cannot attach to their emotions and their story and coach well.

5) Use reflective statements so they feel heard.

The use of reflective statements not only help people sort through their thoughts, but they also feel seen, heard and valued when they hear you replay their words. Use summarizing and paraphrasing to reflect what you hear. Ask about shifts in emotions you see them express. Start your sentences with, “So you are saying…,” “What seems to be most important to you is…” or “What were you thinking when you got quiet and looked away.” Your reflections create a deeper connection.

Coaching helps people climb a tree in their brain and look down on how they think and feel. They must feel safe before they will go out on the limb with you.

DR. MARCIA REYNOLDS is a world-renowned expert on inspiring change through conversations. She has delivered programs in 41 countries, teaches for coaching schools in the US, China, Russia, and the Philippines, and she frequently presents programs to coaches online.

She is a past ICF global chair and one of 10 coaches recognized in the ICF Circle of Distinction. She has four awardwinning books including The Discomfort Zone; Wander Woman; Outsmart Your Brain; her latest, Coach the Person, Not the Problem was just released with rave reviews.

Read more at www.Covisioning.com.

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TRUST, PURPOSE, ANXIETY, IDENTITY

By Steve Barlow

“It was my first day on the job.

I stood by the window, waiting for my first coaching client to arrive. I felt nervous, quite unsure of what to expect, but also mixed with a little excitement.

I was unsure of how I would relate to my new client group. Would I understand their views of reality? How would I relate to their stories? How would they relate to mine? How hard will it be to make a connection? Will they think I am any good?

There were no answers – yet. Time would tell. This was learning on the job.

As I stood at the window, a man in his early 30’s made his way down the pathway. He was empty-handed and alone. He held his head down, as if fixed on the pathway and his feet. He seemed very intense and I wasn’t sure how to read him. I wondered, was he my first client?

Then he stopped, suddenly. Something caught his attention – something on the ground. He made a quick movement, bent down, picked it up and put it in his pocket. I was curious. What did he find that interested him so? What made it important to him? Did he find some money on the ground? Or could it have been something more sinister?

I felt uneasy about what he had in his pocket. To be honest, I hoped he wouldn’t walk into my room.

But he did. He took a seat and looked at me. And so, the journey began.”

I tell this story because it reminds me of some of the challenges of starting a coaching relationship.

How do we build trust?

Why has this client come?

How much awareness do they have of their needs?

How will I come to understand what their needs are?

What do they want to achieve?

How can I help?

Will we relate to each other?

Will they be satisfied with who I am and how I coach?

How do I feel about myself as a coach?

This article might help if you’re new to coaching, and it is still relevant to those who are old hands.

Trust Without mutual trust, you can’t get far. I could talk about authenticity and honesty and the need to establish trust early, but there’s no easy formula.

Someone who is vulnerable allows themselves to be wounded, hurt.

The second question is – why is the client building trust? There can be various reasons why clients might The opposite is self-protection. want a trusting relationship with you.

People make themselves vulnerable Perhaps they are looking for an ally to take their side and agree with them. because they either genuinely trust However, there are two questions I you or because they lack insight and Perhaps they are looking for a think you should ask yourself. sympathiser to feel sorry for them, or trust people too easily. someone to help them move The first question is – is the client People who are willing to be forward. Try to work out what they willing to become vulnerable? The vulnerable will open up and be ‘real’ want and think about what you want word ‘vulnerable’ derives from a Latin about their situation. This is a gift and to get into. word that means ‘wound’. they are investing in you.

Purpose Some clients are clear about where they want to go and how you can help them get there. And they are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. We all love these clients. But many clients are not like that.

You need to define the purpose of the coaching and build engagement.

What purpose is the client ready for right now? They might want a thriving business, a dream job, or a loving relationship, but what are they ready to do right now?

Going to a coach is not the same as changing. Turning up to a coaching session is not all they must do.

People who think it is are all talk and no follow through. They must understand that nothing changes if they don’t engage.

Anxiety There’s nothing wrong with a bit of anxiety. We want to do our best job and be effective. But there’s no guarantee it will work out like that.

Anxiety can be adaptive because it Panic means you’re not coping. If you can make you alert and in tune with experience panic, you need some what is happening. You don’t want to help. become desensitised to a bit of anxiety, but you don’t want panic.

Identity There are two points to make here.

First, getting coach training doesn’t mean you’re cut out for coaching. If you’re cut out for coaching, you’ll love doing it, you’ll be effective, and people will love having you as their coach. Your identity as a coach shouldn’t depend on your training, or even how long you’ve been doing it.

You’ll know if you’re a coach.

Second, if you know you’re cut out for coaching, don’t worry too much about ‘failures’. You will have clients who make no progress and who complain about you. It’s easy to blame your coach if you’re not prepared to do anything.

Your job as a coach is to help them, not to do it for them.

Do the best you can; accept that some clients make fantastic progress, and some don’t.

I trust these ideas are of some help in your coaching career.

Steve Barlow has worked in the education sector in one form or another for over 40 years.

This has included university lecturing and anger management coaching in the correctional system. He specialises in how people change and how coaches and other professionals can help people progress through the change process more successfully.

Steve has a particular interest in applying these principles within organisational settings.

He is a Director of The Change Gym and you can reach out to him at steve@thechangegym.com.

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NEGOTIATION ART OR SKILLS SCIENCE

by MARGOT SMITH

W

e learn how to negotiate from a very early age. We ‘negotiate’ corners around a table when we’re first walking, working out how much latitude we have. We negotiate with our parents and siblings, trying to get what we want to meet our needs (with little or no regard to theirs in the early stages). We have wins and losses in negotiating as we grow up. We learn what works and what doesn’t – but then we come to understand that negotiating is a two-way street and that sometimes you need to lose the battle to win the war.

What are some do’s and don’t when it comes to negotiating? And has the game changed now that many of us are working remotely and negotiating virtually.

RULE NUMBER ONE

(the Institute of Managers and Leaders can help you out). If you have a full schedule and this project isn’t worth your time, then refer them to someone else.

Or better yet, price it at a level that makes it worthy of your time – should they opt to pay that higher price point. I leant this trick some years ago when I worked with accountants – they recommended thinking about your ideal clients, and price everyone else accordingly, if they are high maintenance or non-compliant – that way IF they continue to work with you at a higher price point, then you won’t resent the work, because you are being remunerated accordingly.

,,

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX – BE CREATIVE

,,

The first rule of negotiating is never go first. If you can, try and get the other person to put their number or terms on the table first. This gives you a starting point and you get a sense of how much wiggle room there is.

The first rule of negotiating is never go first. If you can, try and get the other person to put their number or terms on the table first. This gives you a starting point and you get a sense of how much wiggle room there is. A good example of this is going for a new gig and asking for a particular fee. You might be thinking $10K and they might be thinking $20K – if you offer up $10K first then you’ve lost a sizeable difference. So if you can, ask what their budget is, insist that they go first.

Failing that – add some buffer.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN

The second thing that I rely on – that can really be a game changer, is that options are your best friend in finding a solution that suits you both. Let’s take pitching a new program as an example – you might ordinarily quote a premium fee for face to face, but in this environment,

Let’s say you are looking for something a little different though, or you’ve been offered a more senior role at the same pay. You could ask for a sign-on bonus, or you might prefer one day off a fortnight, or you could secure a training budget to pay for a course or a personal coach (see what I did there). What you are negotiating could be anything though – like negotiating a rate increase for a piece of work – try to think outside the box and come at it from a few angles to get closer to what you want. Go into the negotiation knowing the minimum terms you will agree to but have those other variables up your sleave if you don’t get exactly what you want.

NEGOTIATING IN GOOD FAITH

you may need to be flexible. What are the other options?

Maybe offer a heavily customised program with bespoke content and executive coaching for a premium fee, or if price is an issue use one of your existing/ off the shelf programs instead to reduce your time commitment. Alternatively, you could bundle people analytic surveys such as DiSC Behavioural Profiling or Genos Emotional Intelligence tool to add value

Just over a decade ago I used to do a lot of work with a particular firm. They were extremely professional in so many ways, but the more deals we did the more I noticed that they would leave their offer or counter-offer until the last minute. The type of work we were doing was time sensitive, so there was always a deadline that was looming that would force our hands to take the deals under circumstances that we wouldn’t ordinarily do. Then one day, I twigged that this was not just poor organisation or planning, this was a negotiation tactic. I walking to a meeting with my boss as the time and I suggested we call their bluff and if the

,,

,,

The best type of negotiation is when you can put yourself in their shoes and genuinely work towards an outcome that benefits both parties. It’s no good if you get what you want and the supplier or customer (depending on your role) feels like they got screwed up or down on price.

product was delayed, then I was prepared to take a hit on the deadline to get the costs and negotiations back on track.

Personally, I think waiting until the last minute is not negotiating in good faith. I would encourage you to think about what kind of negotiator you want to be. Do you want to be a negotiator who leaves a trail of unhappy stakeholders?

I’m not a pussy cat when it comes to negotiating, and sometimes you need to use what you have in your tool box, but you also need to maintain a longterm relationship in most instances, and negotiating on fair terms – whether they are price or timing or something else, is what’s in the best interests of the relationship.

negotiable. Listen to the feedback carefully and adjust your terms accordingly.

The best type of negotiation is when you can put yourself in their shoes and genuinely work towards an outcome that benefits both parties. It’s no good if you get what you want and the supplier or customer (depending on your role) feels like they got screwed up or down on price.

The unit across the road from me sold for well above market rate. So much so, that I can’t help but think that the person living there must have a serious case of buyer’s remorse. I think that just because you can get someone up or down on price, doesn’t mean you should…

WIN WIN

Now, you think the deal is done.

You’ve negotiated a fee for your work, the work is done, but it turns out the client has other ideas. How do you negotiate once the project has run and they don’t think they got the outcome they were looking for?

Often people talk about finding out what ‘deal breakers’ are for the other party and moving towards a win win on that basis. The best way to find out what deal breakers are can usually be to be up front and ask – then you know what is NOT

ONCE THE DEAL IS DONE

There is what is contracted – and you rarely want to have to fall back on that – you want to rely on the relationship and the quality of your work. So, return to the original objectives and client agreement – as long as you have delivered on what was agreed, then you can renegotiate the new piece of work. Technically this one might be a lesson in being clear on program outcomes and gaining agreement on the terms of engagement.

NEEDS MUST

Thinking about the current environment – has negotiation changed? Email

negotiation can be an extremely effective way to negotiate with the other party, so that hasn’t changed. Videoconference does mean that you can get a feel for some body language and tone, so for the most part it’s business as usual, but what I have found more difficult is not being face-toface with someone you are trying to get a deal over the line with on your ‘side’ being there to pick up on their cues to negotiate with the other party. Occasionally we have resorted to texting or instant messenger – otherwise we’ll just wing it.

The bigger issue right now, however, might be how much bearing the current

climate has on how much people can pay for products and services (or us) – so be mindful of what sits under the surface for those who you are negotiating with right

now. Do your homework – ask them what they have to spend if it’s budget related, and never forget the final rule of negotiating – timing is everything!

MARGOT SMITH is the General Manager Membership at IML. Margot has worked in events, membership, marketing, customer service, community engagement and leadership roles in a number of member associations, plus a mix of corporate organisations such as Westpac, Scholastic, Optus, LexisNexis and Ausgrid. Supporting members in their leadership journey has always been a passion for Margot. Whether it’s delivering conferences, seminars, mentoring, magazines, networking and profiling opportunities, or just providing advice, she enjoys making a difference in members career development.

Margot has a Graduate Diploma in Business, a Degree in Arts majoring in Psychology and Education, and an Advanced Diploma in Event Management.

COVID VUCA!

HEALTHY THINKING IN A CRAZY WORLD

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n 1989 the Berlin Wall came tumbling down and our World changed. Journalist Thomas Friedman said that the fall of the wall marked the end of the Cold War and changed our metaphors.

If the Cold War had been a sport, it would have been the sport of Sumo Wrestling. Two huge super-powers trying to out buffet each other. Might, ruled. Size mattered. Be big, be strong, be powerful.

When the Wall tumbled, the Sumo stumbled, and the sport changed to continual sprinting. You could now become a superpower by being fast. Speed, ruled. Nimble mattered. Be quick, be lithe, be flexible.

However, constant sprinting can damage muscles. Humans need recovery time and the Sprinting World didn’t factor this – constant sprinting can damage your hamstrings as well as frazzle your neurons.

By the 1990s, we were struggling to understand what was happening with our World. The sport seemed to have moved from Sumo to Sprinter and onto Calvinball.

Calvinball was invented by Calvin & Hobbes comic strip artist Bill Watterson.

Calvinball has no rules, the players make their own rules up as they go along, meaning every game is unique, ever changing and like no other.

As Calvinball was being created, the Military was also shaping a way of defining this ever changing, no-rules World: it invented VUCA. In a World of Acronyms this is a ripper!

V – Volatility U – Uncertainty C - Complexity A – Ambiguity

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In 1989, when the Berlin Wall came down, I was fortunate to receive a Sir Winston Churchill Fellowship and studied the brain & thinking. As part of my study, I was introduced to the concepts of TAME and Wicked.

TAME being the kind of thinking where there is a single correct answer – getting our math, logic, analytical precise and in order. Wicked (thinking) is where there is no correct answer – there are a variety of partial causes and a variety of partial solutions with each combination being unique for each person/situation.

TAME is more Sumo or organized Olympic Games 100-meter sprint. Wicked is more Calvinball – more VUCA. When the Coronavirus hit our World in 2020, the bizarre nature of VUCA made even more sense. Old rules changed. New rules were ambiguous. Responses and systems were filled with gaps and gasps.

People wanted TAME – give me an answer, give me a solution – but the answers were partial at best, the situation called for embracing the fluid flow of uncertainty.

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If the Cold War had been a sport, it would have been the sport of Sumo Wrestling. Two huge super-powers trying to out buffet each other. Might, ruled. Size mattered.

Be big, be strong, be powerful.

In VUCA times – now – we need an antidote and the very V of coronavirus and VUCA may give us the hint of how to behave/think/play in this strange World.

VOLATILITY – VARIETY

In a volatile World, having a single strategy, a single market, a single stream of income… is not healthy. Variety is the magic key. If you only have on major customer (a Wal-Mart… a China…) then the power rests with the customer. Having

a variety of customers/markets may be more difficult but will work better for the long run (rather than the short sprint).

Having a variety of industries, a variety of manufacturing choices on home shores, (and elsewhere) will suit VUCA better than a singular (vulnerable) source.

Just as an athlete needs a variety of elements in their training, (to maintain freshness and fluidity) we need a variety of skills in our mind-set and a variety of streams feeding our ocean.

UNCERTAINTY – VALUES

When your World gets rocked, and everything is shifting, it is time to take a deep dive into what you value and what your values are. Assess and reassess what you stand for and how your life actions exhibit this.

My onstage colleague has sometimes been psychologist Andrew Fuller and Andrew enjoys the quote from philosopher, author and Nobel Prize of Literature Laurette Albert Camus: In the midst of winter I found, within me, An invincible summer When everything is dour, sour and you feel without power… know that there is an energy source from within. Your purpose, your deep well of on-going learning, will be the best power for your darkest hour.

And for your lightness of being.

COMPLEXITY – VISION

In a VUCA World planning is tricky.

Contingency planning becomes more contingency spanning and too many ‘spans’ can spin your mind.

Our human brains work better when we have purpose and when we know where we are heading. Therefore, when complexity sets off its fireworks, it is even more important to understand, contemplate and refine your Vision.

In Stephen Covey’s classic 7 Habits of Highly Effective People one of the habits is to: Begin with the end in mind When things change; when the Olympics of 2020 are postponed, when your

industry stops functioning, when your league gets cancelled then the specific ends you had in mind may no longer be accurate or possible. So, the advice of ‘making goals specific’ should dissolve.

Have a great general Vision: Be healthier Make each day a Progress Day Be flexible Ensure success and have a Vision for being playful in the long game.

AMBIGUITY – VERSATILITY

TAME likes things to be Black & White: all or nothing. Wicked prefers a Yin/ Yang: within black you need some white, within white, some black. Every strength has weakness and every weakness has strength.

Yin/Yang helps make sense of ambiguity. In every certainty there should be some doubt!

Versatility asks us to go further than yin/yang and to embrace multiple perspectives, sense other points of view.

When designing a System, we need to understand it from the user’s point of view. When coaching, we need to consider the uniqueness of each player. When unearthing our own talent, we need to broaden our definition of how we define ourselves.

BE

Be versatile. Be visionary. Be ‘valueable’. Be excited by the magic key – variety.

Have a little Sumo mixed with some sprinter and stir in some Calvinball – be excited in finding the best combo of strategies/skills that will work for you – flow!

GLENN CAPELLI CSP Sir Winston Churchill Fellow Professional Speaker Life Member Helping people think, learn and laugh. glenn@glenncapelli.com Glenn Capelli is available to speak at your next Conference or staff Professional Development - Virtual or Real!

Coaching Through Covid, and Beyond

by LORRAINE HAMILTON PCC

I

t happened so fast. One minute it seemed that I was gearing up for a year of speaking events (and going to great gigs!) And the next everything changed.

Within 48hrs of New Zealand going to Level 2, all of my regular retreats were cancelled and one of my VIP clients had stopped their coaching contract citing ‘unnecessary business expenses’.

I also had to cancel and refund an in-person workshop scheduled for the following Friday.

For a moment there it was worrying...

But at the same time, I realised that this is what I have trained for as a Professional Coach. This was my time to shine.

To lean into the discomfort of being visible and step into my zone of genius.

Suddenly there were huge swathes of people who were stuck in stress.

People were fearful of losing their livelihoods.

People were fearful of being locked up 24/7 with their partners and children.

People were fearful of what was happening to their friends and family in other parts of the world.

People were fearful.

And as we move out of lockdown, this is still true. It is still time for you as a coach to lean in and come out of this pandemic stronger than you were before.

Coaches are trained to assist with transition. And as we move from different levels and rules in lockdown, the transitions trigger the same fears and challenges.

This is what we are trained to help our

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clients navigate.

Just as you demonstrate flexibility with your clients, be flexible in your approach now, and you will come out on top.

There is still as much money in the world as there was before, it’s just being spent differently.

What has happened has wakened a lot of people up to the complacency they were stuck in before Covid-19, and they are taking action. It may not be the audience that you are used to serving, but new people are looking for you. Be open to the prospect of welcoming clients from industries and sectors that you haven’t explored before.

Just as some businesses will sadly fail over this time, some coaches will get caught up in the doomsayers messaging saying that no-one has money for coaching, when in fact there are many who are looking for coaches to help them succeed and stand out.

People are looking for executive coaches to help them support their teams better and reset their future vision.

People are looking for business coaches to help them navigate their way

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Just as some businesses will sadly fail over this time, some coaches will get caught up in the doomsayers messaging saying that no-one has money for coaching,

through the challenges or go out on their own.

People are looking for career coaches to help them take their next steps.

Here are ways to make this situation work for you: Be visible. Being available is not sleazy or exploitative. How can the people who need you find you if you are not showing up? Your audience are likely more engaged with your content than before. (One FB post I made resulted in an invitation to be a guest on a podcast, and now I have been asked to return. Another resulted in coaching

enquiries. And another sold my coaching skills courses to students.)

Keep your communications simple. Remember that stress can compromise people’s ability to process information by up to 80%. Make it easy for them.

Don’t discount. You have trained hard to have the skills that you have and there are plenty of people out there who are looking for what you can help with. Now is not a time for you to suffer for the benefit of everyone else.

Do not discount your coaching services. Whilst it is true that some of your current audience may not be able to

meet your prices now, there are whole new segments of the market shopping in your price bracket.

Get creative and reach more people. When I had to cancel my workshop, I instead ran a free training on How to Manage Stress In Uncertain Times. This meant that I could satisfy my desire to help as many people as possible, but I did not discount my services. (This has resulted in enrolling clients and securing online speaking events in numerous different sectors than I had previously been serving.)

Look for innovative ways for your clients to keep you on. (For

example, I have instigated a reporting system with reduced calls for one of my clients who is struggling financially but who desperately wants to carry on coaching.)

If you have a number of clients who are struggling to keep their coaching commitment it might be an opportunity for you to create a group coaching offering.

Talk about what it’s like to work with you as a coach. The more fears you can address openly, the less fear your potential clients have, and the more qualified they become to work with you.

If you are not online, get online! Coaching is a profession that is not limited by geography and when you can work globally you are somewhat protected from your local recession if and when it hits.

Upskill. If you have been concerned about your abilities as a coach, now is the perfect time to really dig in and polish your skills. The best coaches will thrive in a crisis.

Now is not the time to hide, now is the time to lean into your own discomfort as a coach, be visible, and be a great coach. Because the great coaches are going to soar from this challenge.

Coaching will not only survive Covid-19, it will thrive, and you can too. Commit to being the best coach you can be.

Everything you need to become a masterful and successful coach

Ask about our online programs to become a Better Leader, or a Certified Professional Life Coach www.coachschool.academy LORRAINE HAMILTON PCC is an ICF credentialed Professional Certified Coach, Author, Speaker and CEO of Coach School who works with ambitious professionals to become legendary leaders, so that they can make a living from making a difference.

Lorraine is the CEO at the ICF Accredited Coach School and mentors a small number of high-achieving professionals into the industry that she loves.

Before Lorraine found her passion for personal development, she completed her Bachelor of Science degree and had a long and successful career in engineering (and probably knows more about how your phone works than is necessary!)

And more people than you might think have hired her because of her multicoloured hair! https://www.lorrainehamilton.net

Accredited by the International Coach Federation

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First, to Build Your Business?

T

oo often we hear of the accountant whose books don’t balance, the builder with an unfinished house and,… uh hum… the business coach without a clear and documented plan.

Here is my confession, I’ve taken far to long building my plan.

And it has cost me dearly!

WINNING THE WAR AND LOSING THE BATTLE

My name is Kevin Gammie. I run Brisbane Small Business and support thousands of businesses daily. Our Facebook community has approximately 40% active members daily and 80% of the group

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of almost 10,000 are active monthly. During April, this hit highs with days as high as 67% of the group and weeks where 83%+ were seeking support.

I care about this group, helping them.

I want every one of the businesses represented to be successful.

I recently put a petition to the Queensland Parliament calling on the Government to support Small Business through COVID 19 as they had withdrawn all the planned grant programs, placed on hold those that were under consideration and even postponed Small Business Month!

What the… In the heat of the greatest challenge, from a health and economic standpoint, the State Government of

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I had won the war for the small business community but had failed to place my business, in a way that would be in a position to help others on the other side.

Queensland had stopped supporting small business! They had even moved out about one in three of the Department catering for small business, after all, they had nothing to do.

The good news – The Petition was effective, within a few weeks, the Government had responded to current applicants and opened the Adaption Grant. A Grant specifically designed to aid the small businesses adversely affected by COVID 19 and the restrictions and subsequent economic downturn. “Yay for Small Business” the recognition we saught, $100M in grants on offer.

Within two and a half days applications closed, the fund was oversubscribed.

Success, yes? Just not for me, personally.

Being so focused on the cause and busy looking after the community, I didn’t have either my marketing in place nor a program to deliver. How could I have been so careless?

I had won the war for the small business community but had failed to place my business, in a way that would be in a position to help others on the other side.

A case of definitely failing to put your oxygen mask on first!

A GREAT WAKE-UP CALL

After giving myself the weekend to go through the required emotions, frustrations and anger mostly, at me, not others, one clear message ran through!

Things had to change!

Three things were evident here: 1. I needed a plan 2. The business needed a plan!

3. I needed a Coach!

Recognising first, that if the business was to survive, It needed to exist beyond me. Although there was already a small team in place, nothing happens without it coming back to me. I hated this, yet somehow had never managed to let go enough and create the processes for this to be the reality.

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SELECTING KEY ROLES

We all have a wealth of resources - I had a community. Over the last six years, I’ve been building a tribe. It was now time to utilise that asset.

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So I started to get specific! I decided to get clear about what was needed to take the business beyond its current limits.

I decided nothing was to get in the way!

BUILDING A TEAM, WITHOUT CASHFLOW

Who needs cash when you have a wealth of resources?

We all have a wealth of resources - I had a community. Over the last six years, I’ve been building a tribe. It was now time to utilise that asset.

I explored what the business would need to look like to be successful. What positions would best support the community and the ongoing development of the business as a whole?

I offered a “mutual value exchange.”

The was not going to be a contra deal.

Both parties invoice each other and pay each other, into bank accounts and all.

The importance of the recognition of both the top line income and the client relationship is paramount to a successful business.

With this idea in place and an agreement drawn, It was time to ask for applications.

The greatest challenge, getting a clear, concise message to the right audience.

So the focus was on marketing and automation.

• Content • Social Media • Videography • Bots • WebMaster • SEO • Automation And of course, the coach!

The opportunity put out there, and within a week the positions were closed.

THE MONEY WASN’T THE CHALLENGE, THAT WAS JUST A MINDSET

Armed with a team to grow the business, there is time to focus on the right things to serve the community.

The first call! $100,000 of grants we’re creating to serve the community!

This time with a co-contribution to ensure that we are helping those that are prepared to help themselves!

Why stop there? Why not seek out $1,000,000 of support for our small business community!

It’s time to help everyone “Find their Business Mojo!”

YOUR CHALLENGE

I’m inviting you to look beyond your current challenges and to resolve the largest roadblock, whatever it is.

What is the one thing you need for your business success?

What does your business look like when it’s operating successfully?

How can you create that right now?

KEVIN GAMMIE is the Founder of Brisbane Small Business and Author of ‘Finding Your Business Mojo.’

He helps sole traders, micro and small business owners find their voice to grow the business into one that delivers the success the owner dreams of.

You can reach out at kevin@kevingammie.com.au

‘ONE QUESTION’ ,, ,,

Working with people who can feel, see and hear things others can’t, is amazing.

It’s not always easy and sometimes growth hurts, but who doesn’t like pain?

B

eing a business coach is a dream job. The click you have with your coachee is indescribable. The things you share, the actions you agree on, the progress you make. The intimacy is almost like a marriage.

One of the most impressive times I felt and saw the impact of a great coach was back in 2014. That year I had the honour to attend the Master Coaching course at the Cruyff Institute. A yearlong course based on the philosophy of the famous Dutch soccer player Johan Cruyff. This philosophy was more than applying tactical and technical knowledge. It was about managing yourself, the players, staff members, the team and the surroundings. After all, how can you coach others, if you cannot coach yourself first.

That year my fellow coaches and students were the national team coaches from basketball, rugby and cycling. We also had team and individual coaches from tennis, handball, golf, soccer and skiing. Some of them worked full time as a coach, some of them part-time.

A month into the program, we were sent home with a task to prepare a 10-minute talk about our motiva-

tions. The week later everybody had to do deliver their presentation and the group had to give feedback.

The oldest student in our class that year was a 54-year-old part time and experienced handball coach. In his daily life, he had a major role within the government. All technical details about his talk were right. The guy has a good head on him, wore a great suit, worked the room like a pro. He looked us in the eyes just long enough to make us comfortable. But… When his talk ended, the class stayed silent; just long enough to make it feel a little uncomfortable.

Then Henk Verschuur, our professor, stepped into the middle. He looked at the presenter and then looked at us hanging back in our chairs and asked us the question ‘Who believes him?’

We all stayed silent again. A little uncomfortable became very uncomfortable. We still didn’t say anything.

The silence was unpleasant for the handball coach but was probably one of the greatest learning moments in his life.

To this day, goose bumps arise when I remember that setting.

Working with people who can feel, see and hear things others can’t,

is amazing. It’s not always easy and sometimes growth hurts, but who doesn’t like pain?

DANNY VAN SOELEN (1965) is born in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. After University he started his career at a regional broadcaster. At 24 he became the MD and took part in the growth of that medium. At 27 he started his own business. From 2001 to 2009 this business was at a highlight with two publishing houses, an ad agency, a events bureau and an online marketing agency.

The economy crisis made Van Soelen take another direction. In 2014 he started with the Master in Coaching education at the Cruyff Institute and in 2018 he finished his last of 6 coaching and change management educations.

In 2015 he started the company House of Answers and since then he has coached and guided business owners, decisionmakers, teams and athletes.

‘Let us talk without words. That says so much more’ is according to Van Soelen the ultimate connection between coachee and coach.

Danny van Soelen Business coach and change consultant in The Netherlands info@houseofanswers.nl

Coming Late 2020

www.CoachingLife.com.au