The Quest - Issue 23 - All Together Different

Published by: Collaboration Global

Unit 2

The Old Stables

Strood Green

Wisborough Green West Sussex

RH14 0HJ

Issue 23, first published on 29th September 2022 All rights reserved.

Copyright © Collaboration Global and Contributors, 2022

While aligned to the vision and values of Collaboration Global, the views expressed here are soley those of the contributors and are not expressions of policy on behalf of the Collaboration Global leadership.

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For more details about The Quest and about Collaboration Global, visit our website at www.collaborationglobal.org

You can contact the team by writing to team@collaborationglobal.org, or one of the contributors whose contact emails can be found at the end of their articles.

The Quest is a publication platform open to members of Collaboration Global to contribute to major debates and issues of concern. Operating within the UK economy, and part of a global economic system, contributors to The Quest hold a big vision. They are personally involved with complex issues that require the skills and intent of many to solve. They are on a passionate, sometimes a life-long search, to secure change in the world and as such hold a great responsibility for benefitting future generations.

Collaboration Global believes in working for a world where every one of us has the opportunity to be the best they can be: where we are empowered to recognize and honour our ‘innate genius’, exploit our full potential and make our dreams real. We seek a world where business and work are designed to meet a Human need for respect, to be valued, to achieve and to contribute to others. Most of all we seek a world where everyone has the opportunity to have their voice heard and make a positive difference to the planet and humanity.

Issue Twenty Three

About the contributors

Editorial Gill Tiney

CONTENTS

Diversity: what does it mean to you? Gina Gardiner

Tell me all the things you don’t know. Benjamin Drury

Are You a Change Maker Embracing Your Confidilience™?

Dr Lizzy Bernthal

Why I’m a Racist. Andrew Miller

Have you dealt with your past?

Gill Tiney

Audaciously Building Bridges. Syireen Rose

Spotlight on Chris Freer

Key Collaborator Profile

Selina Boshorin

About our contributors Gina Gardiner

Gina is the Founder of Genuinely You Ltd, and of Gina Gardiner Associates. She hosts the Gina Gardiner & Friends Radio Show, is a multiple No1 International Bestselling Author, Motivational Speaker, Empowerment and Transformational Leadership Coach and Trainer with well over 35 years of experience helping people experience happiness, holistic and profitable success and fulfilment. She has learned to walk twice as an adult she ran an award-winning school, for over 20 years mostly from a wheelchair. The gift of this experience was the development of a unique approach to life and the development of Profitable Enlightened Leadership.

Email: gina@genuinely-you.com

Telephone: 07833 183 327 Website: www.genuinely-you.com

Benjamin Drury

Benjamin is an experienced entrepreneur having built several businesses. He’s an experienced coder and a trained social worker. He understands people and cultures. He is a dynamic, entertaining and innovative speaker, having honed the skills during 15 years involvement in stage productions. He’s worked writing and directing stage productions, designing internet banks, developing and delivering leadership training courses, managing businesses, and building web applications for global companies.

A compassionate optimist always seeking to create a fairer world that works for everyone. People can do incredible things with the right support and I choose to be a cheerleader, not a critic.

Email: hello@thecultureguy.co.uk

Telephone: 0191 645 5024 Website: www.thecultureguy.co.uk

Lizzy Bernthal

Dr Lizzy Bernthal is a resilience specialist, confidence and leadership coach, international speaker, and author. She designs and delivers Masterclasses, keynotes, transformational 121 and group coaching programmes globally, nationally, and locally online and face to face. Dr Lizzy is on a mission to remove toxicity in the workplace by supporting purpose driven business owners and leaders to find their confidence and resilience already within them, so people-pleasing and perfectionism is in the past! She spent 25 years in the Army as a health professional to Lt Col with a PhD in resilience.

Email: lizzy@rypotential.co.uk

Telephone: 07905 584 218 Website: www.rypotential.co.uk

Andrew Miller

Andrew is a multiple auther and international Speaker.

A qualified insolvency practitioner, Andrew spent 16 years in the Restructuring department of the global accountancy firm, KPMG, as well as being seconded to Barclays Bank’s insolvency unit.

Taking on leadership roles highlighted to Andrew a passion and flair for working with individuals and the issues that affect them at a personal level. Through working with company owners who were in the process of losing everything, he became acutely aware of the emotional connection that exists between a business and its owner, something that is not always recognised or appreciated.

Andrew believes that ‘you’, ‘your environment’ and the interaction between the two should be looked at as a whole, rather than in isolation. Andrew works with business owners and their team to get all three areas right – which then allows you to truly enjoy what you do on a day-to-day basis.

Andrew has worked for himself for over 10 years in which time he has written eight books, won numerous awards and was also invited to be a policy advisor to the government around business failure.

He has been with his wife for over 26 years and loves what he does.

Email: andrew@businessenjoyment.com

Telephone: 07403 110 951 Website: www.businessenjoyment.com

Gill Tiney

Gill Tiney has always been passionate about bringing great people together to collaborate.

She does this through the podcast- Being Human Hidden Depths, the online publication The Quest, her books including #1 Amazon Bestseller, Together We Can Do Something Wonderful and the community she created at Collaboration Global.

An international speaker, business coach, author coach and community catalyst she shares her insights in how we can all take responsibility for a better world.

She is on a mission to transform the way we live in our world and change the paradigm for what it means to build a good business..

Email: gill@collaborationglobal.org

Telephone: 07798 601 701 Website: www.collaborationglobal.org

Syireen Rose

Syireen has more than 20 years of experience in the Communication field. Her vast experience showcases career practices ranging from the corporate desk, to print publications, academia, training, consultancy and coaching. Syireen’s core strength is in editorial. Her exposure to public relations and corporate communication cemented her insights into the conceptualizing and strategizing of communication plans. She now offers coaching to C-Suites and Business Owners, occasionally conducts workshops and training programs, and speaks to entrepreneur associations/groups as well as graduating college students.

Email: syireenrose@peachesnpen.com

Telephone: +60 193 881 774 Website: www.peachesnpen.com

Spotlight on: Chris Freer

Chris freer is totally passionate about promoting good health and wellbeing for as many people as he possibly can. It has not always been like that for him. It took a diagnosis of an incurable auto immune condition to change his life. There have been some very dark times on his journey, ones that have taught him a lot. The biggest lesson he has learnt is that we have more control than we are led to believe about our health and wellbeing. He tells his story in the hope that it will enlighten others to be happier healthier Humans.

Email: chris@upbeatlife.co.uk

Telephone: 07809 692 652 Website: www.upbeatlife.co.uk

Key Collaborator: Selina Boshorin

Selina Boshorin is a Leadership Strategist, who helps Business Leaders get clarity on their genius and create a sustainable, scalable business.

With over 15 years of experience in Careers Guidance, Hospitality, Events Management, Education, and Welfare to Work, Selina has trained, coached, and mentored senior leaders in leadership, business, and personal development.

She personally experienced how being overworked and having a lack of clarity to create the right strategies, habits, systems can have a detrimental effect on productivity, performance, and success.

Selina helps clients to work more productively and achieve success more effectively without sacrificing their well-being or the need for perfection and overworking.

Email: sboshorin@gmail.com

Telephone: 07505 300137 Website: www.linkedin.com/in/selinaboshorin/

Editorial Gill Tiney

Being ALL Together DIFFERENT

This issue was born from the wonderful event hosted by Collaboration Global, The Culture Guy and Release Your Potential.

It was titled All* Together Different – Changemakers Unite! (*yes intended typo). We focused on bringing people together, all of us, no matter our differences, to see how we can support and grow from our shared values and humanity.

Everyone who has written for this issue either spoke at the event or attended and all were impacted by the inspiring content that emanated from the day.

Each article in this issue has a focus on diversity and how we can celebrate our differences. Interestingly Gina Gardiner highlights how we have all been conditioned and Andrew Miller continues with his belief that he is in fact racist – you have to read the article to discover how he has come to this shocking conclusion.

Syireen Rose who joined our event online from Malaysia and spoke so eloquently on how our words are so impactful, has shared her perspectives on diversity from another part of the world, to give another viewpoint from our UK-centric standpoint.

Ben Drury has a brilliant viewpoint on being different – even we don’t understand how different we actually are, a fascinating understanding of why we all have a blind spot.

My article borders on a rant – please indulge me. Whilst I profess and extol the virtues of creating a paradigm of love, connection and abundance, there are occasions when this world stretches my optimism to the limit.

Dr Lizzy Bernthal reminds us of the difference between Doing and Being highlighting our personal responsibilities to connect more deeply to ourselves in order to connect with others.

Our Key Collaborator this issue is the wonderful Selina Boshorin who answers some candid questions, so you can understand why she is so passionate about helping and creating our leaders of the future.

Standing in the Spotlight this time is Chris Freer, and we have some fun discovering more about this amazingly focused and committed man. His belief is that we can all lead healthier lives with the power of a great mindset.

Both Selina and Chris attended the All* Together Different event and our audience were all the better for having them part of it.

You can see all of the talks from this event on our YouTube channel Collaboration Global https://bit.ly/3AqHTMc

If you believe the world can be a better place, if we celebrate all of our wonderful differences, then this is an inspiring and uplifting read that I know you will love.

And if you missed the All Together Different event then why not join us online for one of our monthly sessions https://bit.ly/3zVp6qQ

Together we are stronger!

Gill Tiney

About The Quest Team

The Quest is produced by the Collaboration Global Digital Team and is made possible by, you guessed it, collaboration.

We give huge thanks to Gill Tiney for her driving force for bringing the project to fruition, proofing and liaising with contributors, writing an editorial and case study and being our Team Dynamo.

Gill Tiney gill@collaborationglobal.org www.collaborationglobal.org

For typesetting, layout and art, our warmest gratitude and huge thanks to Benjamin Drury ben@thecultureguy.co.uk www.thecultureguy.co.uk

For his awesome editing skills, thanks to Benn Abdy-Collins benn@bennabdy-collins.com www.bennabdy-collins.com

Adding to our amazing Technical Proofing Team, Dr. Lizzy Bernthal lizzy@rypotential.co.uk www.rypotential.co.uk

For her proof reading, many thanks to Sue Plumtree. sue@sueplumtree.com

For diligently proofing the content and checking for typos, huge thanks to Alan Brown of Brown and Tiney. alan@brownandtiney.com www.brownandtiney.com

With thanks to the newest member of the team Syireen Rose Syireenrose@peachesnpen.com

www.CollaborationGlobal.org

DIVERSITY - WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU.

Gina Gardiner

We still have a long way to go as a society before diversity is truly applauded and embraced consistently in any holistic and meaningful way. There have been significant strides in some areas whilst in others, the reality is very different.

It’s important to me that I state very clearly from the outset that I believe that no matter what creed, colour, religion, ability, sexual orientation, or any other category you care to identify, that each and every person should be valued, have a voice and every opportunity to live a healthy and empowered life.

Have you ever considered why so many people are highly triggered by anyone or anything which looks, sounds, or feels different to them? The answer lies in our long distant past. Cave men and women were constantly on the alert for changes. It was a necessary way of living as changes in the weather or environment could spell disaster for them and their tribe. Every stranger potentially posed a significant threat: ready to attack, steal precious food, rape or kidnap women, or to enslave. The result was that those who were different came to represent a threat to survival.

The history books testify that little has changed over the centuries. Sadly the media is still full of reports about wars, slavery, distrust and racism. Many still consider anyone who is not ‘just like them’ to be a threat.

Jo Cox, the MP, was right when she said, “We are far more united and have far more in common than that which divides us.” Surely in the 21st Century it is time for all of us to recognise that it is by acknowledging those things we have in common, and embracing one another’s differences, that the world would be a far better place for us all.

I believe we are at a watershed in the development of the Human Race. It is all too common to see the polarisation of people with vastly opposing views who are absolutely determined to be seen to be ‘RIGHT’. The result is that they fail to see how such an approach is detrimental not only to those they wish to exclude, abuse, or devalue but in their bigotry and discrimination they limit their own opportunities and potential growth.

If we humans are to have any chance of longterm survival on a healthy and thriving planet, it is imperative that we come together in all our diversity to find effective solutions.

There have, in my opinion, been many instances where well-meaning people have created an even

greater divide by their attempts to fill the chasm between different groups. Those who were part of the education system in Inner London in the seventies will remember the words of the nursery rhyme ‘Baa Baa black sheep have you any wool’ being re-written and becoming ‘Baa Baa green sheep…’ much to the confusion of the children. Staff were told to ask for coffee with the absence of milk rather than for a black coffee. These rules did nothing to help people appreciate one another – it simply put people’s backs up. I believe they missed the point; changing attitudes and inbuilt conditioning is far more complex and requires a multi- dimensional approach.

Of course it is also important that the law provides the structure of protection but unless this is played out moment by moment in daily life, the impact only goes so far. Hearts and minds remain unchanged. Bringing people together in a meaningful way where they can truly get to know one another whilst focusing on a common aim, has in my experience been a far more effective way to break down barriers, create trust and foster greater understanding.

Music, dance, art, sport and the media all have a part to play. A great example of how people’s perception of disability was changed when ‘Lost Voice Guy’ Lee Ridley won Britain’s Got Talent in 2018. He clearly demonstrated you can be highly talented, very funny and have Cerebral Palsy. Since then other comedians with disabilities like Eva Abley have far more opportunities to perform on a mainstream stage.

I ran an award-winning school for over 20 years mostly from a wheelchair. Despite having a very responsible job, I got used to strangers using the tone of voice one would use to a very young child when they spoke to me. Viv – my friend and secretary – would often accompany me when I went shopping in town. It amused her greatly when people would stop and ask me in a high-pitched, baby voice, “Would you like a sweety?” On one occasion during the evening at a Head Teachers’ conference I went to the bar to buy a round of drinks. A colleague was asked what I’d like to drink despite the fact that I was the one with the money and the only people staying at the hotel that evening were Head Teachers.

I witnessed first-hand a sea-change in the way I was treated following the 2012 Para Olympics; a definite significant difference in the way the general public acted towards me and know from other wheelchair users that they had noticed the change too. I believe the public perception of people with

disabilities was greatly challenged as a result of that one event.

Why was it such a powerful agent for change? I think there were several factors involved:

• People found the competitors background stories inspiring as athletes and their families shared their journey. They got to know and appreciate the competitors as real people – valuing them as individuals.

• More often than not those involved in the Games underplayed their struggle when interviewed. Often another family member shared the reality of their dealing with significant disability. The athletes simply focused on succeeding in their goals, determined to beat the odds and compete at the highest level. There was no place for a victim mentality. Those watching came to consider how inconsequential their own challenges were by comparison.

• Spectators saw just how capable people could be despite their various disabilities.

Preconceived ideas of what they were capable of were significantly challenged.

• The public began to appreciate the practical difficulties disabled people had to contend with. They developed a greater awareness of the practical issues people with disabilities face; with that awareness came a greater readiness to help.

I’m very pleased to say that since the 2012 Olympics, no one has ever used ‘that voice’ or assumed I need a minder to buy a round of drinks. Doors are held open without my having to ask and people have been far more aware of offering practical help in an entirely appropriate and respectful way than they ever were prior to the games.

Diversity is an issue which is far wider than the categories which the legislation and the organisational staff handbooks would indicate. In reality, there are no two people the same. Even identical twins who share the same genetic makeup experience life differently. Have you ever wondered why children with the same parents, brought up in the same way can be so different?

Why do some people live within the constraints of their conditioning all their lives, whilst others break free of the constraints their upbringing had created? How is it people who have been hurt or abused react so differently – some hold on to the bitterness throughout their lives or fail to trust others whilst others are prepared to allow themselves to be vulnerable and let others into their lives, to be loving despite everything which has happened?

Unconscious bias is something which involves and affects us all. I believe that being aware of how we interact with others as individuals, organisations and as a society and how that impacts our interactions with others, is crucial if we are to effect lasting change.

It is important that we all recognise that we have been conditioned by our parents, schools, the media and society as a whole. That our conditioning leads to unconscious bias.

Most people engage in habitual patterns of thinking, language and behaviour and so are completely oblivious of how their conditioning has shaped their attitude and their behaviour (both positive and negative) towards others . Awareness is the first step towards a better way of being, however owning our own unconscious bias can be uncomfortable. Awareness in itself changes nothing; there has to be a willingness to accept that bias and to be prepared to change. It is important that we all take radical responsibility for how we operate moment by moment, that we become conscious of the impact our attitudes, words and behaviours, or lack of them, have on others and that where necessary we change our approach.

We are currently facing enormous challenges at a global level. If effective and lasting solutions are to be found, it is important that we embrace diversity and work together.

“If we humans are to have any chance of long-term survival on a healthy and thriving planet, it is imperative that we come together in all our diversity to find effective solutions. ”

Give me a list of everything you don’t know about yourself. It’s probably a short list, not because there is very little you don’t know about yourself, but most likely because there is a lot that you don’t know you don’t know.

You are not alone. Every single one of us has blind spots, things about ourselves that not only do we not know, but we also don’t know we don’t know. Those unknown parts of who we are, that we are completely unaware of. The areas of our life and personality that we didn’t even know existed, let alone how it impacts who we are.

Who we are is a very complex Venn diagram of different attributes, traits and life experiences, that make up our personality, and our attitudes. It impacts our unique understanding of the world around us and how we relate to our environment and our communities.

In 1955 two psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, devised a simple model

to help us understand and visualise this mix of what we know and don’t know about ourselves. It shows how the way we view ourselves is often quite different to the way others might view us. They call it JoHari’s Window and it contains four different sections.

1. The open area: this section describes all the things we know about ourselves that other people probably know too. This is the information that we are happy to share to the world around us. This would include the job we do, or some of our ideas about the world, or simple things like our favourite foods, where we grew up and what we do in our spare time. This is the way we present ourselves to make sure the world sees us as we want to be seen.

2. The blind area: this section denotes all the things about us that we have no idea about, but other people can see. The information in the blind spot can be positive or negative and include hidden strengths or areas for improvement. This area includes things like the

impact we have on others, our hidden abilities that we don’t realise are strengths or talents, patterns we’ve learned by copying our parents in childhood, but didn’t consciously register.

3. Hidden area: this section contains anything you know about yourself and are not willing to share with others. This is the detail we keep hidden from the world that we know about ourselves. This is often the things that we worry about at night and creates stress. The hidden area includes things like our unshared hopes and dreams, our worries about the future, the thoughts that we wish we didn’t have.

4. Unknown area: the unknown area contains any aspect of a person unknown to them or to anyone else. This is the content of therapy sessions. I can’t give you examples of what’s in here, but we just don’t know. Perhaps repressed memories, perhaps pain that we’ve not acknowledged.

The most interesting thing about this model for me is it demonstrated that as an individual, we really only have half the picture. Personally, we only see about 50% of who we truly are, without the help of other people.

As humans we are designed to be in relationship, in community with others and if COVID has shown us anything it’s that when we are restricted from that social aspect of our humanity, when we are constrained from hanging out with other people our lives suffer, we lose part of ourselves and we are so much poorer for it.

You see when we are in relationship, we are able to open up another big portion of JoHari’s window - the blind spot. With other people in our life that we trust, who can speak into our lives, challenge us and allow us to explore and understand more of who we are, we are able to move aspects of who we are from our blind spot into the open area. We become more aware of who we truly are, and we grow. We become more. Our blind spot becomes smaller, and we

become bigger.

With other trusted friends and mentors in our lives we can also venture into the unknown area and discuss feelings and experiences that we haven’t yet unpacked. We can talk through our thoughts and explore internal places we have not yet been, and in doing so we move more of who we are from the unknown into the open. We grow. This is how we become more rounded, more compassionate and more human. We build community, we let people in, we challenge each other, like iron sharpens iron.

We need people around that can speak into our life to make us better people.

But not just any people. We need people that are different from us. People that see the world in a different way. People that broaden our understanding and expand our experiences of life. They bring knowledge and wisdom about things we don’t know because we have never experienced them.

We need diversity, because it exposes us to different views, different thoughts, a different way, a different life.

Having people around us just like us does not really open up any new understanding. It traps us in narrow minded thinking of unchallenged opinions. Immersing ourselves in a sea of sameness does nothing to expose us to experiences that will expand our understanding of the world, or who we are or our place in this vast and beautiful existence. This is why travel broadens the mind or university is a catalyst for growth for a lot of people, because it moves us from our homogonous community of childhood into a diverse, exciting adventure called wider humanity.

It was great watching the England Football Lionesses win the European Championships this summer. Firstly, (as an English person), a major football trophy has been a long time

coming and it’s good to be able to celebrate for once. More importantly, though, the spirit in which the games were played was a far greater attitude than the way the men’s game seems to be played. They approached the game in very different way. They were competitive and determined. They were focussed and aggressive when needed, but there were so few yellow cards and there was almost no dissent of the referee. There was certainly no surrounding the ref and trying to intimidate them. They played with respect for each other and respect for the game, the tournament, and the fans.

And the fans were the same, friendly, good natured and they weren’t even segregated like they usually are in the men’s game.

Watching the Lionesses shows what’s possible. It shows us a better way to make the beautiful game even more beautiful. Diversity brings new perspectives and new ideas that enhance our world. Why would we not seek that out?

It’s a similar story in rugby. While rugby has a more respectful reputation than football generally, there is still a marked difference between the women’s game and men’s game. I coach girls u18s rugby and I also coach a teenage boys’ team. There is a noticeable difference to the way the players approach the game, similar to that in football.

The nature of rugby being an historically and predominantly male game, means that there are sometimes too few female players to make a full 15-a-side game when playing fixtures. Often the opposition have to loan players to a team they are playing, which in the girl’s game they do willingly. They just want to play the game and help others play it too. In the boy’s game when something similar happens, it’s usually much harder to get volunteers to play for the opposition - the competitive spirit kicks in and they feel almost traitorous playing on the wrong side.

The girls, however, usually relish the challenge and it builds a much greater camaraderie across the different clubs in the girl’s game. They build amazing friendships with players on other teams. They look forward to seeing each other at the next fixtures and when it comes to playing up to representative level (county and national selection) the necessary relational foundations on which you can build a strong team are already well established. They play for each other and the love of the game.

In sport, in business and in life, diversity is not just a nice to have, added extra, it is essential for growth and good collaboration. It is essential for our future, and it is essential to free ourselves from the prison of our own blinkered experiences.

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We can all feel resistant to change at times. This is because we have a fundamental need for certainty to make us feel safe. In reality, it may not make us feel safe, as change is part of daily life. Do you like to do things in the same way, or do you thrive on thinking ‘All Together Different?’. This is where innovation comes in, defined as “a new idea method or device”1. The introduction of something new is vital in business. After all, we want to improve our services to our clients and customers, support our present clients more powerfully and attract loyalty with new clients, as we improve our performance in the process.

24th June 2022 has been highlighted throughout this edition as our inaugural “All Together Different” event. (a purposeful rearranging of the word ‘altogether’ highlighting the power of coming together as one and encompassing ALL of US!) What an inspiring day, a group of extraordinary speakers brought together in one room, streamed globally with speakers joining us from zoom. I had the privilege to share my thoughts on “Building Your Cs of Confidilience™ to combat whatever the future throws”. After all who doesn’t want to overcome their inner war zone to find their victorious self already within?!

We hear so much in the media about stress, resilience and confidence. What do these terms mean? Stress is “the reaction people may have when presented with demands and pressures that are not matched to their knowledge and abilities and which challenge their ability to cope.”2. How often do you feel that in your life?! Sadly, it is far too prevalent. So, what can we do about it? The answer - find the Confidilience™ that is already within us!

What do I mean by Confidilience™? I created this word as a combination of confidence and resilience. In my mind you cannot have one without the other - so we all need to be confidilient™! Confidence is “The feeling that you can trust, believe in and be sure about the abilities or good qualities of somebody/ something/yourself”. Trust is the key element in this. Resilience is “the capacity to adapt successfully in the presence of risk and adversity”3. Resilience has three components of “Resistance, Recovery, Reconfiguration”, or as Syireen Rose so eloquently spoke of “Uncover, Discover, Recover”.

When an adverse event happens, we go through a phase of shock and ‘resistance’ that

it’s happening - think 2020 when lockdown hit around the world! We start a ‘recovery’ process when we think how to address it and adapt, as we start to accept what’s going on. Finally, we go through ‘reconfiguration’ when we adjust to create a new normal, psychologically, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You may have heard the term “bounce back”? I talk about “bouncing forward” as we are never the same person as we were before the event. I guarantee over the last two years that you have coped with the adversity of this pandemic with more strength and ability that you ever imagined possible. You have “bounced forward” and are continuing to do so. What helped you?

There are 2 elements of Confidilience™ (1) What we are ‘Doing’ (2) Who we are ‘Being’. We are human ‘beings’ not doings after all! Yet how much time do we spend doing and not being? Time to shift the balance! So here are my Cs of Confidilience™ for doing and being our best self.

THE DOING

Culture and Climate of Connection and Collaboration

So what culture are you creating in your business and in your life? Is it full of vision and purpose to make a difference? Are you being inclusive and embracing diversity as you connect, inspire, and create collaboration, never competition. What climate are you creating of compassion? Is it a place where people love to work? Are you looking after your staff and your clients to the best of your ability, so they do not even feel they would ever consider going elsewhere, because they

know you are the best. After all, we have a far greater impact on the world collectively than on our own, as we are hardwired to be part of a tribe to work together to make a difference.

Clarification

Are you clear where you and your business are going? Are you disseminating this with your team, so you all are working towards the same goal, mission, and purpose? Do you encourage debate freethinking, not so much outside of the box, get rid of the box altogether!

Creativity

What do you want to create? Are you clear about your path and what you want to achieve? We cannot have innovation without creativity.

Compass

Are you on the right path? Is your vision, purpose, legacy and impact you want to make guiding you in the right direction? For example, I am on a mission to get rid of toxicity in the workplace, as I believe it destroys lives, which must stop. Everything I do is focused on this goal, to support leaders and entrepreneurs to be the best they can be, own who they are, so there’s no place for toxicity.

Challenges

Overcoming challenges is all part of being confidilient™. Challenge will come no matter what we do. Clearly addressing them as they crop up before they get even bigger is key. Their impact is lessoned if we anticipate them, mitigate them, and do not fear them.

“

We hear so much in the media about stress, resilience and confidence, but what do these terms mean?”

Calculation and Circles

Do you sometimes feel you are going round in circles? Notice if you are reinventing the wheel while calculating the risks and how to mitigate them. There is power doing the research to avoid wasting unnecessary resources.

Communication

Great communication is key, with our teams and our clients, a whole conversation in itself!

Change

Change is inevitable, it is how we address it that’s important.

Choice

What choices are you making? We always have a choice! We are making a choice not to have a choice, even when we think there is no choice!!

THE BEING

For me, who we are ‘being’ is crucial. Are you being the best version of you today? Ask yourself when you wake up in the morning“How can I be the best version of me today?” You’ll be amazed what a great day you have as a result.

Commitment, Conviction and Control

This where your commitment to your vision and purpose is vital on those days when things just don’t go to plan! Are you controlling what you can control and letting go of what you can’t? There is power in surfing and going with the flow, after all, we can’t control the waves, only how we react to them as we ride the peaks and troughs! So be conscious of when you are attempting to control the metaphoric waves!

Core Values

What are your core values? If you do not know what they are, it is time to do some exploring! For me integrity is everything - doing what

is right over wanting to be right! Also being curious and so avoiding criticism, comparison, or judgement of ourselves, and others which are the kiss of death! After all, to compare it to despair! So, show Care and Compassion with yourself and others!

Courage

You are far more courageous than you think. After all, courage is merely taking action when there is no guarantee of the outcome. It doesn’t have to be jumping out of a helicopter or going to a war zone, asking someone ‘how are you?’ can take courage. So, reflect about the courage you have shown recently that you have not even noticed, you’ll be surprised and amazed. Be proud of yourself!

Calm, and Centred with a bit of Craziness!

Things are so much easier when we’re calm and centred. It’s so important to have fun too!

Celebrate

Finally, you have so much to celebrate, the smallest wins that you might not even have noticed, are a great place to start. Have a ‘ta da’ list rather a ‘to do’ list - as you go through your day with gratitude for even the tiniest thing,

such as being able to boil the kettle for a cuppa! It’s amazing the impact that acknowledging little acts of gratitude has on our well-being and then, our productivity! Boom!

So, there you have it! Some of my Cs for confidilience™! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and any additional ‘Cs’ that you might like to add! I have many more!

How are you going to incorporate them right now, to build on what you are doing and who you are being? Embrace the awesomeness that’s already within you, as you overcome your inner war zone to find your victorious self, that I know is already waiting to be discovered. You already have the best you within you, sometimes it just takes a conversation or a bit of thought and reflection to realise it, as you embrace being ‘All Together Different’!

References

1 Cambridge English Dictionary, 2022

2 The World Health Organisation (WHO), 2022

3 Oxford English Dictionary, 2022

4 Resilence (The British Defence Academy 2022)

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WHAT MAKES YOUR HEART SING? Andrew Miller

Throughout 2020, we had a lot of time to reflect. The death of George Floyd and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement was a significant part of that reflection process.

We do have to set out straight away that I am a white, middle class British male and my life experience is not and never can be the same as, say, George Floyd, so any view I have is going to be skewed.

However, I’m also one of those people that considers themselves pretty open and a liberal fair minded person. Always looking to help others without any judgment or prejudice. I would hope that most people would agree with me on that point.

In addition, I’ve always been one of those people who likes to make sense out of things before passing comment and believe that the more we understand a situation – from all angles – the easier it is to find a solution.

There is a well known phrase – frequently inaccurately attributed to Einstein – which says:

“If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.”

and that is very much the camp I like to sit in.

One thing I was sure about was that going around with placards saying – effectively“Racism is wrong” wasn’t going to have much impact. Lots of agreement but little impact. Down to a fundamental belief of mine:

The majority of people who are racist – don’t believe they are racist.

This stems from my broader concept that there is no such thing as evil or a deliberately immoral act. Instead, people behave in what they perceive to be the best way, based on the views, beliefs and level of thinking that they hold.

By way of example, think of the Mafia films such as ‘The Godfather’, where the boss has to kill his own brother or a friend because ‘he broke the rules”. It gives him no pleasure, but he has no choice, down to the rules of the society he lives in.

In his own mind, the boss is a god-fearing, law abiding citizen, abhorring the increase in violence and the lack of respect in today’s society - without seeing the obvious contradiction.

Similarly, when there is a general outcry against racism, the targets of that outrage just sit there obliviously, not realising that the accusation is being applied to them, and wonder what all

the fuss is about.

As is often the way, a head on confrontation is not the way to resolve a situation. Instead, we need to find ways to change the beliefs and the level of thinking that people hold in order to bring forward a different perspective and a different choice of action.

Throughout my exploration of the situation and from one of the discussion groups that I hold, I was recommended a book to read on the subject of racism which particularly focuses on the white experience. It’s called:

‘White Fragility’ by Robin Diangelo.

Robin is white herself but has done a lot of hands on research to explore why white people react so strongly when there is the slightest accusation of racism and the typical ways in which they respond.

It is a fascinating read, well set out and very, very eye opening and by the time I’d finished reading it I had had quite the revelation. The shocking truth had been made very clear to me that:

“I’m a racist !!”

To give context to that statement, there are two vital elements that need to be pulled out from the book

First of all, one of the key messages that the book tries to get across is that being ‘racist’ doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. This is one of the fundamental myths that restricts open dialogue on the subject. However, having read the book I can now make that statement without shame or self-loathing.

Secondly, the prime cause of this confusion lies around the fact that ‘Racism’ is a catch all word which covers a number of different areas. It is therefore not a useful word to be used without context or explanation.

This is why the consequence of pointing out a micro-aggressive act that someone has just made is received in the same way as though they were accused of being a member of the KKK.

There is no delineation created by this single term whereas in truth, there are many different levels and nuances. As mentioned before, the more we can break something down and understand the situation, the easier it is to find a path forward.

Keeping it very simple, there are three areas of racism to consider.

Racial Prejudice

This is where one person automatically makes an assumption about another based purely

on sight and without getting to know them. Literally pre-judging them.

This is, in itself, a term that gets widely misused, with many people declaring themselves ‘the least prejudicial person they know’.

Well, I have news for you.

We are all prejudiced. Pre-judging is a fundamental part of animal behaviour. Making an assessment of a potential threat before it can actually hurt us is the thing that allowed our ancestors to survive in the wild.

That pre-judgement can, of course, go in any direction – it is not unique to white people. In addition, each of us will make different assumptions based on our background and experience. Whatever, that pre-judgement is, it is instant and sub-conscious. We cannot stop it, only alter what that judgement is, through education and experience.

When people talk about prejudice what they are often really referring to is the second definition of racism.

Racial Discrimination

This is where deliberate action is taken that benefits one class of people or hinders another based purely on the colour of their skin. In the main, it is acting out the thoughts created by that sub-conscious prejudice. There is, however, a huge spectrum sitting within this category.

It can range from walking to the other side of the street when someone different to you approaches, all the way through to the sporting of white hoods and flaming brands.

Once again, the actual term does not specify in which direction the discrimination runs. Consequently, when a white person is disadvantaged in some way purely based on their colour, then that is racial discrimination.

When social media lights up with angry white men ranting with comments such as “why can only white people be racist?” - this is the ‘truth’

that their argument is hanging on.

The fundamental problem, that they’re not seeing, lies in the third category which is the most subtle and pervasive of all racisms.

Institutional racism

This is where discrimination happens without people even being aware of it because they are just following habits and norms that have been in place for hundreds of years.

This time there is only one direction of the racism, and it is always from the majority to the minority. The majority made the rules and the rest were simply not considered in the process.

Every country in the world has its own form of racism based on who’s in charge, the long held traditions and the mix of the population. Global conversations on racism therefore get very complex. Whilst many common themes may arise, everyone has their own, unique form of racism that is peculiar to their country.

It is why, however, that in this country, white people can never be the victim.

What is fundamental to institutional racism is that word in the first line of this section‘Aware’. The majority of people simply do not notice that they are doing things, saying things and enabling things that are discriminatory.

In a similar way that fish are not aware of the water they swim in and wonder what’s up with all the mammals splashing around and drowning, so are those of us within the institution who don’t see or understand what is going on.

And it has nothing to do with intent or heart or spirit. It is purely because we are unaware. Ignorant. Insufficiently educated. Whichever term you feel fits best.

This is exactly why ‘good’ people can be racist. It’s a consequence of being born into the society in question – and not an intent to cause hurt or suffering.

What really matters is the action you take once

you become aware.

As a member of such a society and aware that I do not know all that I should know on such a topic – I can put my hand up and say “I am a racist” without shame or self-loathing.

It doesn’t mean that I wear a white hood and carry a flaming brand. It means that I have more to learn.

So what?

One of the key problems in our society is that prejudice is not limited to one factor.

Everything I have described above can be applied equally to, say, sexism.

In fact, if you think of the typical politician throughout the years – White, Male, Heterosexual (officially), Privately educated and so on – then anyone that doesn’t fit into one of those categories – black, female, gay, working class and so on – is subject to some form of discrimination and repression.

Over the years, people have shuffled into their little categories and – whether through design or through natural evolution – have created internal competition.

You may have seen a cartoon that’s doing the rounds on social media with a king in his castle looking out at a baying mob. Next to him his advisor calmly says:

“Oh, you don’t need to fight them...You just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks.”

Living in Yorkshire, I know plenty of people who used to live in mining communities and suffered as they saw their livelihood systematically destroyed during the 1980s. There were countless tales of destitution, societal division, families ripped apart and even suicide.

Whilst I don’t agree, I completely understand why they didn’t take kindly when they’re told

that they have benefited from ‘white privilege.’ Instead, they responded with a ‘what about us?” attitude to those who complained about their lives.

This is why we frequently see the situation where when one group tries to fight for better treatment, it’s another minority group that kicks off and tries to drag them back down.

How do we create a better world?

It’s not simple, that’s for sure.

Communication and Collaboration are clearly going to be two elements that will make a massive difference.

‘Communication’ to really break the problem down and fully understand where everyone else is coming from - and this communication does have to be two-way.

‘Collaboration’ to look for ways to support each other instead of fighting.

Then it feels like barriers could be broken and the minority would not have such a hold over the majority.

Those of us who are part of the ‘institution’ have a duty to learn as much as we can about it and understand what is really going on, otherwise we will simply be adding to the problem by being complicit.

Ignorance is no longer bliss.

Whatever our background or upbringing, we are all racists in some way. It is our job to understand what that means for us, own it without shame and look to work better with those around us.

YOU DEALT WITH

PAST?

Tiney

In this issue we are looking at diversity and while some people identify that as race, gender, sexual orientation or age, I don’t see those as differences. To me they are facts: who you are, not choices. I didn’t choose to be 59 or white or heterosexual, I just am – therefore they’re not worth mentioning. They don’t affect how I live my life or how my mind works.

I know that, by an accident of birth, I am blessed to be in those categories because they do not adversely affect my life. But none of them should affect my life, whatever category I fall into. The same as if I disclosed my political persuasion or religion – although in the UK we are blessed with being able to choose those, it shouldn’t make a difference.

But it does.

In this cruel, divided, frightening world that we live in, it matters a lot.

The irony that the most intelligent form of life on the planet is destroying itself merely because we point at each other to say, ‘you are different’, seems crazy.

Whatever religion you may choose (or not), somewhere in this world you would be persecuted for it. Again, by an accident of birth, I live in a country that has given me a view that we should be able to worship freely. Being able to believe in something that brings you comfort, that spreads messages of love and unity as most world religions do, should be encouraged and celebrated. Instead, we are set against each other, because of fear of being different.

I know that if I were born black, or Jewish, or gay, or a lower caste, or from an indigenous community, I would have suffered historically, and my pain would run deep. I do not deny anyone in those situations that life for centuries has been very unfair (understatement). But is it right to take that pain into future generations? Remember it, yes – suffer from it – no!

Until we all start to treat all of the human race with the same dignity, irrespective of our differences, then the pain will not be erased and needs to stay at the surface. It is up to all of us to unpick the stories and trauma, to look for forgiveness and to show remorse. Until we can start living in a way that demonstrates a better

way of being, will anyone be able to forgive the past and welcome the future.

Where did you grow up?

We know that where our formative years were, and who our primary carers were, informs our current mindset. For better or worse it gave us our founding values and set up some of our long-term beliefs. This can be viewed as a handicap that chains us down or a springboard that pushes us up. Many people are not even aware of how their formative situation has a hold over their present day. Once you are shown the connection, it cannot be unseen. From here we can start to create the life we want irrespective of where we started.

Where we started is no barrier to where we want to be. What gets in the way is our state of mind.

We wait for governments to apologise and politicians to guide our communities on how to act – but really, we all know what to do. Take the example of Daryl Davies in the US who for over 30 years has been befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan, to date he has over 200 cloaks of members who have resigned because he took the time to talk to them and become their friend.

‘If you spend five minutes with your worst enemy — it doesn’t have to be about race, it could be about anything...you will find that you both have something in common. As you build upon those commonalities, you’re forming a relationship and as you build about that relationship, you’re forming a friendship’

Transcript of 2017 NPR [National Public Radio]

interview with Daryl Davies

We can all be responsible for our corner of the world and make an effort to get to know people who are different to us, who have different belief systems, different experiences of life and outlooks. Not with a view to change them – that is impossible, for we can only change ourselves – but with a view of them choosing to see possible friends instead of enemies, perhaps forgiveness in place of anger and love instead of fear.

When I was young, I was blessed to grow up in the East End of London in a multi-cultural environment, where I was in the minority being an English girl. Nine nationalities in my road alone – it was brilliant! Ironically, I didn’t see any difference in accents, language, skin colour, religion, age or abilities (my pal across the road had polio and struggled to walk and my neighbour was blind, but we still went to the park – we got by). They were all my friends and neighbours. The blind spot was blown away when my Mum asked me, aged six, if I had any white friends. It took a bit of explaining because I truly didn’t understand what she was asking me – until that point, I seriously had never even noticed the colour of anyone’s skin. I happily told her no, and it wasn’t mentioned again. After I had left home I did ask her if she would have worried if I had brought a black man home as my boyfriend, she laughed and said no, but if he was Irish…..she had a big problem with Catholics! Oh dear, that was her history raising its ugly head.

We all have historical prejudices, even those who adamantly say they don’t. We don’t know what we don’t know…we don’t know – until that blind spot is shown.

“

‘Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has’”

I remember spending time with my daughters’ friends and how a gay friend explained the feeling of exclusion as he grew up knowing he was ‘different’ (his words) and realising that by revealing his true self he might lose friends or even family relationships. He looked all of us in the eye and said you cannot possibly understand if you have never walked in my shoes what it feels like to be so alone, fearing rejection – and he was right.

So many people have suffered because of ignorant people’s historical prejudice and unsubstantiated and uncorroborated belief systems. Isn’t it time we opened our minds to see the human being before us and have some compassion for what they have been through? We are part of the solution whether we feel empowered or not, we have a responsibility to sustain the human race by spreading love. And not hate.

That is why we created the All Together Different event that highlighted how we have been moulded throughout history and how the future is now in the hands of the many

instead of the few. Social media now allows us to self-organise and movements like #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo have come a long way – as has Pride and many more collectives. We need more places we can gather, not to rage against the establishment – which has proven itself to be inadequate in this brave new world, but to build better alternatives to bring people together.

All = everyone Together = at every level of society Different = celebrating every beautiful nook and cranny of humanity.

We asked at the event for Changemakers To Unite, we cannot wait for others to do this for us, we are responsible for calling out anyone who feeds the hate agenda and bombard them with love – it’s a pretty powerful weapon.

The Quest is a publication by the community at Collaboration Global which is driven by the values of Love, Human Being First and Collaboration. We are a group who celebrates diversity and practices collaboration with an

open heart and mind. Our discussions are on important global issues but always with huge respect and looking for new solutions. Our efforts are to bring people together no matter where they come from, and of their abilities – it is not an exclusive club, but a place to be who you truly are. No hiding, no excuses, simply a collection of humans with a purpose to make our world better because we are being responsible for the outcome.

Together We Are Stronger!

My favourite quote from Margaret Mead –anthropologist:

‘Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has’

Have you dealt with your past?

Have you turned it into a positive driving force for you to support and help others – no matter how tough that might have been?

Or are you at the beginning of that journey as you realise the chains that have bound you –anger, hate, frustration, desperation – do not serve you and there is another way:

You find the solutions when you find others who are on the same journey as you – it’s called collaboration.

Why not come along to one of our guest sessions at Collaboration Global and find out more about our movement to bring humanity together. www.collaborationglobal.org

How the importance of unity, love for 100% humanity and perseverance were instilled in me, is still a mystery but giving up on people has never been an option. I get angry, jaded and disappointed with the world, sometimes. At the rate we are going as a human race, I wish I never left the comfort of the cave where I used to reside with a good book and a cup of coffee -- and yet, whenever I look up and peer outside, I see sharks and swindlers cloaked as world leaders, so I cannot allow myself to stay hidden in denial. Hence, I pursue UNITY with a vengeance.

Being part of a community that champions LOVE, HUMANITY and COLLABORATION is not an accident. I made a conscious decision to participate with the likeminded across the globe. I choose communities, societies, and organizations that give me access to collaboration in diversity. I felt that with the right mindset, commitment and innovation, everything that we envision is possible. So, I strongly subscribe to the Miss Universe’s yearly mantra “world peace”, and as clichéd as it may be --- we need it! Don’t you think?

I’ve embarked on various activities to learn and relearn … mostly to unlearn what the world is feeding us about rich and poor, black and white, old and new, developed and underdeveloped, right and wrong, boy and girl … and the list of extreme opposites will go on and continue

to go on long pass our lives. It takes a lot of listening and paying attention to the outcome of judgement, reflecting on our words and choice of actions -- to really take notice of what we have ALL done as a human race, in unison to disunite. We MUST take responsibility of what the humans have become … we’ve ALL had a part to play in it. Like it or not.

We’ve heard the saying, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Why so? I believe, it is because we all wake up in righteousness with the “I” being civilized and the “others”, not! Somehow, we’ve learned to create an invisible benchmark that we insist “others” should follow. In our minds, we always know better. The “I KNOW” factor has plagued our people and our generations for centuries from which we’ve condoned the robbing and taking what isn’t ours. For centuries, countries who are wealthier would tell the now poorer nations how to behave better, while developing their world on the blood and sweat of the “others”. It was not okay. It is still not okay … and yet, someone is always at war while the rest of the world observes, takes sides and JUDGES – all of which leads to disunity.

Have we not learned from history?

Clearly not … but we are very good at apologising for crimes against humanity a century or two later when an entire nation, culture and

civilization has been raped from her roots, with her children scattered and immersed into the so called “civilized”. Sounds angry and blaming – someone tell me it is not true! I’m not sure we can … but can we reframe? Make the shifts and truly work towards UNITY?

I invite you to reflect!

Why would we talk about “I” and the “others” in the same breath that we declare to be human? Why talk about first world, developing world and third world, as if we come from different planets? How can our perceived behaviours, in our egoistical opinion, be so drastically different when each and every one of us want WORLD PEACE?

Are your words a true reflection of your intentions? If my way is not your way and your way is a better way, then where and when will the efforts land for the betterment of 100% of humanity. We have talked our heads off for centuries about what would make the world better. We have innovated. We have created technologies that brought about amazing breakthroughs. We have learned better ways to live, travel, breed and plant food…and yet, the world is no less hungry and bloody. How is this possible?

People tell me that my head is stuck in the clouds and my vision of unity may never come. And that greed and ego will continuously win

because they are the mightier 3% who control 97% of the world’s wealth. Plus, their strong hold over the technology, medicine, education and might of the world. What could we possibly do? What can I do?

I find it immensely tiring to listen to hope and speeches that inspire without action. Anyone who begins their conversation with “but the problem is…” should be given a hard smack! We should be, instead, constantly looking for permanent solutions. I find it disturbing when the words pitched to the masses describes humanity but form a mere mask for profiteering. I feel that talk [simply] needs to be coupled with action if we truly want the world to work for all of [100%] humanity.

I propose, as a human being, we simply choose a dream and pursue it. Stand for what you believe in and work at it. Keep at it. It’s okay if it’s only seeding … just stay in motion. No money? It’s okay … because when the work is good, wealth will automatically be created. The UNIVERSE is funny that way … so, stay in motion. It’s an amazing invitation to good energy.

What did I do to invite good things in my pursuit for UNITY?

1. I simply pursued my dream

I designed ALL my work so I can promote unity through sustainable leadership, which I think is amiss in this world and the reason for breakdowns. I focus on the BEING and I inculcate values through facilitative learning and coaching. I work with children, youths, adults and especially corporate leaders –making sure that everyone starts a project with WHAT by WHEN deadlines for the intended outcome.

2. I constantly seek collaboration

In differences we learn the gaps of knowing. I ask myself “how can I fill in gaps by allowing people I am yet to know fill mine?” “Where are they?” “Who are they?” I feel that the only way we can receive is by acknowledging that we experience different learnings but always addressing the same pain to attain an intended gain, i.e. food, shelter, love, security etc. So, there are more similarities than differences when we truly reflect.

3. Provide free mindset conversations and selfimprovement resources

I have no qualms in sharing tools that I could monetise, for free. I continuously find avenues and pathways where I can merge my passion with purpose. And so, I write and I coach consciously for UNITY. I do LIVE shows. I hop on podcasts. I moderate and attend events, conferences, workshops in the pursuit of UNITY.

4. I choose battles that I can win

I acknowledge that I don’t know everything and sometimes I am absolutely clueless … so, I choose what I do know and what I do understand so I can add to the body of knowledge. I consciously declare that I SHALL add value to humanity in everything that I undertake. Hence, it is a true honour to champion leadership, entrepreneurship and serve as an advocate for other women. Through these avenues, I have touched more lives and created differences than I could ever imagine peering out of the

cave I used to reside.

I am by nature a reserved and private person but for UNITY, it is my intention to speak to more people, invite more project owners to WIN BIG and truly harness my skillset in being the wordsmith and the WORD Coach to peel layers and layers of untruth, so we can all wipe the muck from our eyes and truly see the human staring back at us in the mirror.

What’s your mirror telling you today?

Mine screams UNITY!

Book onto the next Collaboration Global meeting. Just scan this code.

Chris Freer

Spotlight On: Pointing the Spotlight on one of our Collaborators

Who do you call family?

My family starts with my older brother and my wife Joy. I have 4 children: 3 girls and a boy all grown up now, with 3 grandchildren - soon to be 4.

Are you a dog or a cat person?

Definitely a dog person. Dogs are loyal which is very much my personality. My star sign is cancer the crab, hence when you are in with me I will defend and protect you to my last breath.

If you could have a super-power, what would it be and why?

Time traveller! Simply because I would like to experience what life was like in the past. Not that interested in the future because today is good enough for me.

What do you consider to be your genius? Or what do other people say you are amazing at?

Wow! That’s a hard question. I think empathy and the ability to actively listen are what I am good at.

Coast or country? Coast! I love the sea!

What is the most adventurous thing you have EVER done? That would be telling…

What makes you cry?

Injustice in all its forms.

What is your biggest frustration?

People’s belief that they have little control especially when it comes to their health and wellbeing.

How do you chill out?

Spending time outdoors exercising and exercising in the gym.

What do you do to look after you?

Living with an incurable health condition would make the list too long. Basically, looking after me would be eating the best food for me. Taking time to listen to my body and making sure that I move every day and increase my heart rate.

And finally…. What question would you like to add to this list to ask other members? And please answer it yourself too. What’s your passion and why? For me my passion is to encourage as many people as I can to take control of their health and wellbeing. Why? Well I am a living proof of choosing a lifestyle that works and I want to tell the world.

You can contact Chris at:

Email: chris@upbeatlife.co.uk

Telephone: 07809 692 652 Website: www.upbeatlife.co.uk

Who is Selina Boshorin?

I am multi-passionate and have a range of different experiences, passions and interests.

I am creative and love to explore and do things differently. Yet I am known to be deeply systematic who loves structure and am process driven. I am passionate about Education, Community, Business, Leadership, Systems and Learning and I draw my experiences from a range of different industries and sectors.

I love to learn new things and am not afraid to be a pioneer and chart unknown waters. I believe in the power of wisdom and listening.

I love my quiet time and having time to reflect as that helps me to recalibrate, recharge and reflect.

I love to be an encourager, who finds a kind word or something positive to say in challenging situations and offers a practical solution or listening ear when needed.

What fills you with joy?

I am a bit of a foodie. I enjoy cooking and exploring new places to eat so I can indulge in new culinary experiences while having many photos of myself enjoying a cocktail, Gin Fizz or mocktail with some of my favourite dishes, particularly if it has chilli or some spice to it.

Travelling gives me joy and it is so nice to get to different parts of the world. I’ve travelled to London with Cyprus, South of France, Portugal and Tenerife being some of my favourite places in Europe. I am currently hungry for adventures to recharge and I look forward to exploring more places in the near future. Travelling to a new setting helps me to step back and experience new sites, perspectives, cultures and settings. I usually return from a holiday or travelling with a new idea for a project, to add to my business or clarity and wisdom which is uber valuable.

Being in the Sun and dipping my toes in the sea gives me joy. I love being in nature. I also love the theatre, spoken words, dance, poetry,

music, watching a good film, and reading that I lose track of time when I’m engaged in these activities. I used to sing in Choirs and other groups for fun and was involved in Am Dram, though I find myself engaged more behind the scenes – these are certainly something I need more of in my life.

Being in a Spa, Jacuzzi or Pool really helps me unwind, gets my creative juices flowing and makes me laugh for hours as does being with those who encourage, inspire and uplift. I enjoy listening to a podcast or something that feeds me spiritually and touches my soul.

I am at peace and experience joy when I am volunteering or doing something connected to the community - whether it be working with young people or adults.

I am joyful when I see or witness people operating in their gifts and doing the things they most enjoy. There is something so magnetic about this, such as someone who is gifted in music and dance and they are lost in the music and performing from their soul or someone who loves numbers and data and helps others to understand the picture or story from those numbers and connect in a way others hadn’t thought of.

Personal development and learning new things also bring me joy. The adventure of a new discovery or just a layer of new information, knowledge or practical understanding added or outdated thought pattern deleted - just gives me the sense of freedom.

I am also a fan of glitter and I love purple. So when I see things that have both glitter and the colour purple – though a bit cheesy to others, I will be completely in my element.

What is your reason for BEing?

I really love this question and love to reflect on this, and it has a few elements to it. First, to bring the head and heart together in business and leadership, whereby people see the value

of marrying good systems, structures and processes with creativity, passion, fun -- while being aligned to a strong vision and the people led. I believe in lifelong learning and growth. Part of my message is about the importance and impact this has personally on us, both as leaders and individuals for our businesses, industries and our communities.

There are too many businesses and places operating in scarcity, competition, pressure and overall toxicity and outdated principles. Too many people separate their head and heart and at both extremes, which leads to disconnection, stagnation or lack of outcome or quantifiable impact. Through my own journey I have seen that for real change to happen, and to operate in true harmony, I believe there needs to be more cohesion.

I believe that we can be both excellent, equitable, and profitable, meet tangible goals, bring about growth, deeply care, be peoplecentred and make massive impact and contribution whilst having fun.

Another part of my reason for being is to influence as many people and help them see the value of finding their reason for BEing and not to compromise themselves for others. I also believe that a big part of this is respecting the difference in others and valuing and encouraging others’ reason for BEing and showing more compassion and learning to disagree well.

Another part of my reason for BEing is to see more reflective and inspired leadership, and more equitable practice within our workplaces, education settings, businesses and communities. We are often encouraged to speak and act without thinking or full understanding, to force and push our way forward and compete with each other.

There are many situations, particularly where conflict arises and especially as leaders and in

situations where if we were only to listen and step back to see perspective -- we would bring about new ways of doing things and equip ourselves with clarity and better tools to act or just operate from a higher standard.

I also feel strongly about inequality and oppression, particularly where structures and systems are deliberately brought about via derogatory narratives and labels that perpetuate division to keep people in a place of disadvantage or powerlessness. I always seek to be someone who gives a voice to those who are marginalised or feel powerless so they know that they do not have to accept what is not working in their lives.

And finally, I am on a mission to see a transformation in our workplaces, education settings, communities and businesses and reverse our thinking around productivity and achievement. There are many toxic, broken principles and practices that are causing people to be burnt out, frustrated, operating on empty, losing their sense of self/self-worth and pushing more and more. I believe that there are supportive structures, foundations, tools and reframing that can be put in place and should be encouraged. I also work with practices and techniques that utilise my creativity and love for the arts and performance to focus on more serious areas and love to make things more fun or done in a way that’s fresh or innovative and challenge preconceptions or outdated ways of operating or “stuck”ness.

If you could choose one Collaboration Global behaviour or value that you identify with, what might that be?

There are so many that are important behaviours and values for collaboration that I identify with, however, to narrow it down I believe, it is vital that there is a foundation and an underpinning behaviour of respect. This should come from all parties, where we respect ourselves, our gifts and those who are part of the collaboration.

This will then lead to bringing about the

commitment to the shared purpose, vision or goal that you are working towards in the collaboration. Without this, it’s impossible for a collaboration to work and you will find that you are pulling in different directions and it will not be a safe space or a place where trust, transparency and common understanding can flow.

I also believe that for collaboration to truly be at its best, we need a mindset of free thinking and curiosity in order to be open to new perspectives and new ideas. If we are fixed on what we know and our version of what is right and true, it will limit our ability to grow and receive new intel, which will stagnate the collaboration and all involved.

Please share what your experience has been since you joined Collaboration Global?

I have been a part of many communities and Collaboration Global is certainly different. It has a very refreshing and inspiring energy and is not driven by ego or competition. I enjoy that it has so many wonderful people flowing in their gifts, leadership and reason for BEing and all at different stages of life and business and it is all ok, it is safe to be you. It has been a great space for stepping back, sharing accountability and reflection, while creating alignment and commit to action. It is a place I always feel welcome, learn and feel safe to contribute.

This issue of The Quest has focused on ‘The Power of the Arts’, how do you see that manifest in your life?

I am an advocate of valuing differences and diversity. Growing up, I have learned to value my own quirks and differences and those of others. There is so much beauty in our individuality. People are not one-dimensional, but are holistic-rounded beings, and have so many interesting facets to them, and this is often lost or disregarded by ourselves or society. There is so much power when we embrace and celebrate this understanding and own it.

I believe that we can often put too much focus often on creating labels, division and perpetuating ideologies that ‘other ‘ people or put people into boxes and view them as negative or outcasts, particularly for power and control.

I seek in my daily life to explore different ways to change the narrative that different means bad, but believe we can and should be encouraging different perspectives, experiences, learnings and ways of being towards finding common ground. I use a lot of different techniques and tools to do this.

I hold friendships and different forms of connection with people from different backgrounds and groups, and also believe that there needs to be a more honest and open conversation to explore differences, challenge stereotypes. And in encouraging respect for each other within properly facilitated forums that is conducted with compassion and not ‘stuffed down’ or glossed over. There is so much I could say on this.

Are you free to operate within your Genius?

What does that mean for you?

I feel that I am operating within my genius, and it has been an exciting journey to really discover and flow in this as it has evolved. Multiple opportunities has come from this. Operating in my genius means that I am free to live out, work and operate using the different strengths I have and to work with different groups. It means I have different outlets where I can be creative, strategic, fun, and playful and focus on the things that are important to me and make an impact on those groups or people that I am led to.

Operating within my genius enables me to be in a place where I can and receive opportunities where I can. I am in a place of growth and learning with the resources that I need and receiving support in situations of challenge that may feel unexpected.

It doesn’t mean life is easy, but I experience ease when I am operating in my genius.

What vision do you have for your business and your life going forward within the Collaboration Global community?

First, I want to keep growing my connection within the community and getting to know more Collaboration Global’s members and connecting to this vision and ethos. I also want to utilise and integrate the learning and principles from the Community into collaborations, that happen outside - both personally and professionally as I believe this will help us to operate on more solid foundations and at the same time, help me to grow as a leader and practitioner and take my place in the world.

I also want to be able to contribute where I can, be more confident to share my gifts, genius and my reasons for BEing within the Community and the different platforms and spaces available that are aligned.

The vision I have for my life and business is that I continue to grow as a leader and that I am connected and rooted in my vision. I want to make use of the opportunities that arise and keep spreading that message amongst businesses, workplaces and communities and changing those narratives around toxic leadership, toxic productivity, labeling, judgement, shoulding and the oppression that goes on.

I want to work with people, to be open to growth and accept new perspectives through my Coaching, Training, Programmes, Licenced material and other ways of working.

To bring about change and see people do ‘better work’ so they can do what is in their genius and be part of the conversation that brings about change in our Education system for both children, young people and others.

I want to see people having more fun in life, businesses and their careers and for there to

be more harmony and integration between their heads and hearts. I also want to see better and more supportive and effective systems, structures and processes in place within workplaces, businesses, and communities and an appreciation for this.

If someone is interested in getting involved with our Collaboration Global community, from your perspective what might they expect when they get there?

They should expect a forum and a community of growth, innovation, inspiration and leadership. Collaboration Global community is a living and breathing entitiy, designed to challenge outdated principles -- so be ready. Also, a place of fun, accountability and connection with great energy and opportunities to contribute and play full out.

What is your dream for our world in the future?

My dream is to see a world where there is more equity, understanding and fairness. A world where we return back to compassion, and true respect for people and humanity regardless of who we are. A world where integrity and honesty are admired and celebrated.

A world that really values leadership. I’d like to see leaders breath life into those stagnant and dead parts of humanity. I would also love to see technology as a tool and aide rather than a controller of humanity and that we go back to basics to what’s really important. That we learn to ‘disagree’ well.

My dream is also that we hold ourselves to a higher standard and expect more from those who lead in our communities, governments and other settings, but ultimately also realise the power we have so we stop putting our rights into the hands of others who do not have our best interests at heart. I know that we are all human and fallible, but we need a shift and not putting people on a pedestal by mortgaging out our lives.

And a world that values creativity, fun and joy that invests in well-being, and good mental and emotional health in the same way it does for physical health and other things it deems as a priority.

You can contact Selina at:

Email: sboshorin@gmail.com Telephone: 07505 300137 Website: www.linkedin.com/in/selinaboshorin/

Be Our Guest!

Be our guest at one of our regular live online sessions and meet our community. The last Tuesday of the month 3-5pm (UK local time) online.

What happens:

We learn - as a member shares their genius

We discuss – as we consider ways to improve our business and life

We debate – a topic of the day or a belief system

We connect, collaborate, and grow!

Scan the code below and we look forward to seeing you there.