The Quest is a Collaboration Global digital publication
Issue Nineteen
Phil Street
Spotlight on a key collaborator MARIA AZCONA
The theme of this issue is:
The Power of Purpose
SYIREEN ROSE SHA’ARIA ANDREW MILLER LIZZY BERNTHAL GILL TINEY
Published by: Collaboration Global Unit 2 The Old Stables Strood Green Wisborough Green West Sussex RH14 0HJ Issue 19, first published on 1st September 2021 All rights reserved. Copyright © Collaboration Global and Contributors, 2021 While aligned to the vision and values of Collaboration Global, the views expressed here are soley those of the contributors and are not expressions of policy on behalf of the Collaboration Global leadership. To experience a Collaboration Global Community, be our guest and come to a meeting. Register at https://bit.ly/3gcOrT3
For more details about The Quest and about Collaboration Global, visit our website at www.collaborationglobal.org You can contact the team by writing to team@collaborationglobal.org, or to one of the contributors whose contact emails can be found at the end of their articles. The Quest is a publication platform open to members of Collaboration Global to contribute to major debates and issues of concern. Operating within the UK economy, and part of a global economic system, contributors to The Quest hold a big picture. They are personally involved with complex issues that require the skills and intent of many to solve. They are on a passionate, sometimes a life-long search, to secure change in the world and as such hold a great responsibility for benefitting future generations. Collaboration Global believes in working for a world where every individual has the opportunity to be the best they can be: where we are empowered to recognize and honour our ‘innate genius’, exploit our full potential and make our dreams real. We seek a world where business and work are designed to meet a Human need for respect, to be valued, to achieve and to contribute to others. Most of all we seek a world where everyone has the opportunity to have their voice heard and make a positive difference to the planet and humanity.
2
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Issue Nineteen
C O N T E N T S
About the contributors Editorial Gill Tiney The Purpose of Making Lemonade Maria Azcona When I Grow Up… Syireen Rose Sha'aria How Important Is It To Find Your Purpose? Andrew Miller Are you on the right train? Lizzy Bernthal Is it really essential to have a purpose in your life? Gill Tiney Collaborator profile: Phil Street
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
3
About our contributors Maria Azcona
Mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend with 35 years under my belt in hospitality where the mere sense of survival comes out in the disguise of common sense so falling naturally into the world of health and safety and fire risk. Living life with the purpose of leaving a trail and legacy of wonderful humans that I have had the honour of helping to shape.
Email: maria@riskreports.org.uk Telephone: 07942 720810 Website: www.riskreports.org.uk
Syireen Rose Sha’aria
Syireen has more than 20 years experience in communication. Her vast experience showcases career practices ranging from the corporate desk, to print publications, academia, training, consultancy and coaching. Her exposure to public relations and corporate communication cemented her insights into the conceptualizing and strategizing of communication plans. She now coaches C-Suites and entrepreneurs, conducts workshops and training programs, and speaks to entrepreneur associations/groups as well as graduating college students.
Email: syireenrose@gmail.com Telephone: +601 9388 1774
Andrew Miller
A qualified insolvency practitioner, Andrew spent 16 years in the global accountancy firm, KPMG, as well as being seconded to Barclays Bank. Andrew has a passion and flair for working with individuals and the issues that affect them at a personal level. Andrew believes that the interaction between ‘you’, ‘your environment’ are important. Andrew works with business owners and their teams. Andrew has worked for himself for over 10 years in which time he has written eight books, won numerous awards and was also invited to be a policy advisor to the government around business failure.
Email: andrew@businessenjoyment.com Telephone: 07403 110951 Website: www.businessenjoyment.com
4
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Dr. Lizzy Bernthal
Dr Lizzy Bernthal is a mindset leadership coach, international speaker, author and wellbeing, resilience and cultural change specialist, who supports authentic leaders and ex- military to stand tall and rediscover their voice. She designs and delivers transformational programmes for leaders and businesses to find their purpose, embed their values to create innovative, collaborative, inclusive culture, stress management, resilience and leadership. She served 25 years as a British Army nurse and midwife (Lt Col) gained a PhD in psychological wellbeing and resilience. In 2017 she was awarded Principal Fellow of the Higher Education Academy for her global contribution to higher education.
Email: lizzy@rypotential.co.uk Telephone: 07905 584218 Website: www.rypotential.co.uk
Gill Tiney
Gill Tiney is the Founder of Collaboration Global and is passionate about teaching people how to collaborate. She believes that creating the right culture for collaboration begins with the individual and has the potential to transform how we see and what we create in our world. As an author and speaker, she has travelled the world sharing her philosophies and is proud to be part of the growing Collaboration Global community that holds a space for everyone to reach their full potential. She supports them to make a difference not only in their lives but also in the lives of all those they connect with too.
Email: gill@collaborationglobal.org Telephone: 07798 601701 Website: www.collaborationglobal.org
Phil Street
Phil is the Founder of 3 businesses all operating in and around the wonderful world of Hospitality. Momentum Hospitality Recruitment, a boutique recruitment company sourcing talent into senior positions. The Curriculum Vitae, a careers coaching and mentoring business and “Hospitality Meets…” a light-hearted look into the stories and journeys of people within the industry. Phil is a passionate Kindness advocate and is currently writing a book on the subject and the influence it can have in life, business, and the world.
Email: phil@momentumrecruitment.com Telephone: 07821 528805 Website: www.momentumrecruitment.com
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
5
Editorial Gill Tiney
The Power of purpose As I sit here on a sunny Sunday, I am filled with optimism for our future. Not because of current world issues that we learn of daily; from the refugee crisis, climate calamities and political unrest, but from the articles that I get to read in our publication. People like you and I are the ones who really can make a powerful impact for good, and I suspect you are reading this because you have a hope to be part of the change we want to see. In this issue of The Quest we are looking at The Power of Purpose. We all look at this from differing perspectives. How intrinsic it can be in our lives, and some might say an essential. Yet, to others who do not see it as the be all and end all, they’ll propose that you can indeed be happy without a specific purpose to hand. Where do you sit with purpose? Maria Azcona looks back on her life and asks the question, ‘are you a conformer or a renegade?’ She shares her view on how she was conditioned for her life – as we are all to a certain extent, and then she broke free. Andrew Miller continues the conversation by asking if we actually need a purpose – despite his whole business model being predicated on the fact that we are! A great exploration. Dr Lizzy Bernthal likens the discovery of your purpose to being on the right train that is also on the right track. Have you ever jumped on a train in a hurry and sat down THEN wondered… ummmm am I on the right train? That sense of knowing you are going in the right direction is priceless. (No point being at the top of the ladder if the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.) Then I contrast having your purpose to the secret of a long and happy life – do we actually need it to discover our Ikigai? (The Japanese philosophy of what constitutes a long and happy life.) 6
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Plus my question to confirm how powerful my purpose is. Finally, we hear from our Key Collaborator Phil Street who is a man on a mission with big plans for the future. In our interview with him as one of our key members of the community, Phil perfectly demonstrates our culture of LOVE, CONNECTION and ABUNDANCE. All of the people who have contributed to this issue are reasons why I am filled with optimism for the future. It only takes good people to do nothing for evil to prevail. Well, these people regularly join together in the Collaboration Global community to make a positive impact for good. The more we grow, the bigger impact we can create. We hope you enjoy this Quest issue and hope to see you at a Collaboration Global session soon. Yours in collaboration,
Gill Tiney
About The Quest Team The Quest is produced by the Collaboration Global Digital Team and is made possible by, you guessed it, collaboration. For her driving force to bring the project to fruition, proofing and liaising with contributors, writing of editorial and case study and being our Team Dynamo we give huge thanks to Gill Tiney gill@collaborationglobal.org www.collaborationglobal.org For typesetting, layout and art, project management of The Quest, proofing and creation and maintenance of our website, our warmest gratitude and huge thanks to Kay Westrap kay@couragetogrow.me.uk www.couragetogrow.me.uk For his awesome editing skills, thanks to Benn Abdy-Collins benn@bennabdy-collins.com www.bennabdy-collins.com
Adding to our amazing Editorial Team, Dr Lizzy Bernthal lizzy@rypotential.co.uk www.rypotential.co.uk For her proofreading and chasing skills, many thanks to Linda Burns. linda@lifeinsideout.co.uk For diligently proofing the content and checking for typos, huge thanks to Alan Brown of Brown and Tiney. alan@brownandtiney.com www.brownandtiney.com For proofing the typesetting, design and artwork and generally ensuring that the look and feel are always 100%, our huge respect to Simon Thomas of Toucan Internet LLP. simon@toucanweb.co.uk www.toucanweb.co.uk or www.simonthomas.org.uk
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
7
Maria Azcona
THE PURPOSE OF MAKING LEMONADE
8
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Many people spend their entire lives looking for their “raison d’être”, or to put it another way, what we think we should be doing to live our lives at one hundred percent perfect capacity. Seeing as there is no rule book or instruction manual that is printed on our baby bums when we are born, although society tries its hardest to make us conform to what it believes we should be and how we should behave, should we be writing our own rules instead of doing what is “expected” of us? Is it true to say, therefore, that the world is divided into the conformers and what I like to call renegades? Absolutely - with bells on! It isn’t until the proverbial hits the fan that many of us start to question whether this is our lot in life, or if we actually have a different purpose after all, because what we have done until that point now seems wrong or redundant. Let me share an example with you: I had an Auntie who dedicated her life to God and humankind. She was a highly qualified woman, a working nun with the Sisters of Charity, whose mission it is to serve communities they are assigned to by having community-facing jobs such as teaching, social work, caring work, the medical profession etc. Rewind to 1998 when I had been married for 8 years
but was looking at my impending divorce. I had a real problem with my conscience because in the back of my mind, I could not help but wonder what my beautiful Auntie, who was a walking advert for love, peace and tolerance would make of me being divorced. I felt such a failure in that instance, being a divorcee with two little babies, with no idea what had gone wonky in my relationship. I spoke to her about how I was feeling, and she taught me one of the most valuable lessons, one which changed the course of my life. I told her that divorce was certainly NOT what I had ever envisaged or indeed had signed up for. Her answer was so simple: throughout our lives, we will change direction and paths so many times - some more than others. She said that my marriage time was now up and that my mission from that point was to search and find another purpose with my boys, no husband, and the new title of divorcee. She said that as humans, we are born to fulfil many roles throughout our lives, although many choose just a few or even just the one, thinking that changing your purpose and role is somehow wrong, flippant, unnecessary, extravagant; that we should conform
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
9
to what most of the society thinks one should do – to lay in the bed that we have made for ourselves. Sometimes having one purpose or role in life is perfect, in other words, that particular shoe fits and is worn throughout life. The majority though, do wear multiple shoes during their life; some grumbling at having to change constantly and never being satisfied, whilst others relishing every single change like an actor having multiple roles in a play and having to change backstage. I think I fit in to the last category. My search for purpose continues and is not over yet, nor will it be until my last breath. It does not mean that I am disgruntled with what I do. No, no, no, not in the slightest. In life, when you are given lemons, you have a choice: either put them in the fruit bowl and watch them rot or make lemonade that is going to quench your thirst, (sweet or sour, depending on taste and lemons). Have I reached my purpose in life? Yes, many times; each time changing and adapting to the sort of “lemon” that life is giving me at that particular moment and what is needed to quench that thirst.
10
In the last two years, many things have happened which mean a new purpose in life has had to be found time and time again. From an accident which resulted in broken bones, and an inability to carry on with a previous job and lifestyle, lamentable diagnoses, and untimely deaths of loved ones, to (yes, I will mention it) the big C19 keeping us cocooned in our safety bubble with the best excuse under the sun to crawl into bed and stay there for a long time. Would I choose to re-purpose my lifetime, and have my time again entirely by myself? Nope. It really is that simple. It took collaboration to land the job I am currently doing, providing others, myself included, with an income and even more importantly with the purpose to keep people safe in the world. I didn’t suddenly get out of bed one morning and think, “I want to be a risk assessor”. Someone in a networking group took the time to get to know me and realise that I needed Risk Reports and Risk Reports needed me. I found purpose. Along a different but just as important path, it has taken collaboration with this marvellous team at Collaboration Global to make me sit at a keyboard and pour my heart out with the hope that if just one person is motivated to get up and call me to
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
confirm, discuss, or even argue and tell me how wrong I am, then I have found my purpose in this article. On Friday when I had to tell my dear 75-year-old friend that her son had suddenly died, I found my purpose. When I acted the clown yesterday and made my entire family laugh at a poignant moment which could have turned sad in its discovery, I found my purpose.
strengths if we let ourselves morph and allow our shoulders to shrug and say “OK, bring it on”. Either that, or just accept that (according to the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy) the answer is indeed 42 after all.
You can contact Maria at:
Email: maria@riskreports.org.uk Telephone: 07942 720810 So in the search for purpose, we will discover our Website: www.riskreports.org.uk Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
11
Syireen Rose Sha’aria
WHEN I GROW UP…
12
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
“I still wanted to save the world. I loved it! I loved the outcome of every effort. I loved my love for my world.”
“When I grow up, I want to be Wonder Woman”. mattered, and I am a hero! I did everything! I loved being me. I wanted to grow up and save the world. Eradicate the world of famine. Pay all the water One year I’d go all out and fight for women’s and electricity bills. Use my super powers right against violence. Next year it’ll be about and put all the bad guys in jail. Plant more saving the ocean. Then another year I’d spend trees. Clean the ocean. Play with penguins. night and day serving the underserved. I spent Swim with killer whales. Wipe all tears and many years loving children lost in oblivion put smiles on every face I meet. I was really because they were severely handicapped and ambitious about being happy. The world was in one phase of my life, watched beds change my oyster and I knew how to have fun. I love bodies as elderlies were abandoned by their my universe bubble. I was an amazing hero. I children - losing their homes and hope in could do anything! makeshift dorms. I was doing everything and felt everything that came with it. It suddenly And I did! became a spiral of emotions that took a toll on me without me truly grasping it. With a mind like mine, I couldn’t hold a single interest at a single moment. I’m always multi- I still wanted to save the world. I loved it! I tasking. There’s so much to do and so little time. loved the outcome of every effort. I loved my I had to do everything because everything love for my world.
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
13
“I began to adopt other people’s thoughts and values. It seemed more stable.” I was always a bolt of energy and a bundle of erratic emotions spilling uncontrollably out of my Being. I remembered a peer saying to me, “if you only knew how to manage all that energy shooting erratically out of you, what a powerful woman you’d be”. I was not interested and was too busy to listen. I really wanted to save the world, until I shrunk and the world grew too huge for me. As my age piled on me, and the term ‘student’ no longer cloaked my best of intentions to get support, I began to question, “Is my purpose unrealistic?” Can I really save the world? I started to hear things. People saying that I was fake, undecided, fickle-minded and at 30-years old, having spent all my time and energy to my world – I was left on the floor broken and defeated. I too, began to consume these conversations against me and thought that I had led a very superficial life and without a real purpose. I concluded in my 30s that I was disillusioned and I couldn’t save the world. When a child’s death in one of the homes I served reached my ears and I was not there to save her, I couldn’t take it anymore. I could still see her screaming to greet me and hug me goodbye. She suffered from multiple mental handicaps and though it was meant to be, it broke the camel’s back for me. I began to adopt other people’s thoughts and values. It seemed more stable. My life purpose was no longer practical – it was a childish dream. People are going to die anyway. The sea is going to be polluted anyway. The icebergs are going to melt anyway. So, I learned to walk and talk to be liked – no longer to be heard. I dressed and showed up at events that were trending and mattered – no longer to make a difference. I did everything that everyone else said was good and got a pat on my back for being relevant. I thought I felt happier. I thought my life purpose was stabilized - whatever that meant. 14
In the process of doing everything everyone else was doing; losing my sense of purpose and adopting lives that were not mine, one thing that I have learned to be grateful for is my ability to write. I wrote everything! Looking back, I do cringe at some of my venting and sarcastic wisdom, which were more accepted as clever at the time of writing…then one man asked me, “until when will you live in other people’s expectations?” “Are these words truly yours?” Ouch. That hurt. I took pride in my words and the intentions behind it. While people around me were calling me clever and interesting, he shoved a dagger into my heart and although I retorted in indignance, “yes!” I told him, indeed, those were my words, but silently loathed myself, for I was blatantly lying. I had completely deceived myself and robbed me of my truth. Ending my 30s, I still wanted to save the world but I had lost my way. As I reached my 40th birthday I arrived at my all-time low. I attended a program that did everything I despised. I sang songs in a circle that felt very woo-woo. I cried buckets and had snots everywhere. Tissues were my new-found friend. I also befriended strangers and poured my heart out - suddenly revisiting many past-lives that had mattered to me but I’d buried out of fear, frustration and selfproclaimed defeat. While I felt the world was against me, in that program, I discovered that it was just me, myself and I was fighting me. There, I remembered that I really wanted to save the world. There, I also learned the power of love and support that comes from being true to self. There, I met likeminded souls who also believed in good and saving the world. Indeed, the world is a huge ball of challenges, but every trouble comes with a solution…I didn’t have to do it all by myself. There were many
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
more people loving the world as much as I do. I was simply too busy with myself to look up and get support, to be in collaboration, be with likeminded people so I can focus doing what I do best and support others in their mastery.
realize that we have always been living our purpose.
Today, I would say that our life purpose is in witnessing the vast greatness that was given to us and our role in preserving it. We are all I needed to revisit the word PURPOSE. I had to pieces of a greater jigsaw puzzle with individual revisit Wonder Woman. brilliance and mastery, that when put together becomes a mighty force that saves the world. At 40, I reflected at how little I really understood my life’s purpose, until, I dived into my truth. My Don’t we all know it? Yes, we do. So, why are mentor would tell me that for many of us, our we not saving the world, yet? life’s purpose will forever elude us. I love my mentor but I had to disagree. I believe that our The ache is in not being able to be mighty life’s purpose is gifted to us from the get go, saviors because we are too busy fighting the and we live it every day. We’re just oblivious to ‘others.’ Instead of being a unit of the human our own actions because it is in our nature that race, we are busy being angry because the all our “being” becomes mundane and ordinary. ‘others’ worldviews, culture and creed, don’t If we could ‘see’ that our purpose is ONE with match our personal benchmarks. We are so our Being and it makes us who we are, we’d busy being righteous and demanding for our Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
15
rights, we forget that it is everyone’s right to be living peacefully on mother earth. The universe never makes a mistake by putting us all here together - it is us, who refuse to be one with our life’s purpose.
the water and everything else in between, for all the living – what is possible for us?
Would it be fair to say, that no one wants the world destroyed? In essence, we ALL want to save the world. Every single one of us wake up every day with the intention to uphold our dream to save an element of the world.
I’m turning 47 in a few days of writing this piece and I’m still wanting to be Wonder Woman when I grow up…by my own terms. Knowing now that the world has so many ‘others’ wanting to save it too…why not collaborate and win!
I invite you to: - Listen - See - Feel We are truly ONE in purpose.
Imagine the power when our true purpose unites and becomes one.
You can contact Syireen at: Email: syireenrose@gmail.com Telephone: +601 9388 1774
We want fresh air. We want clean water. We want peace. We want love… Imagine a world of every individual given the opportunity and access to saving that one element of the world he/she is passionate about; in the air, in the forest, in the desert, in 16
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
17
Andrew Miller
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE?
18
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
“Competition no longer exists,
and collaboration is the only way forward as a strategy.” It was a Thursday evening and a group of likeminded business owners had gathered together on Zoom to explore the key fundamentals of what really matters in business and what needs to be in place in order to be successful and enjoy the journey at the same time. It was one of my ‘Breathing Space’ meetings. The topic under discussion was ‘Finding Your Purpose’. During our exploration one of the attendees asked a very interesting question - “How important is it that I find my Purpose?” What was interesting about this question was that I actually found it quite difficult to answer it.
When we find our Purpose, it transforms everything in terms of what we do and how we do it. It gives us clarity, drive and ambition. It dramatically reduces procrastination, stress and worry. Competition no longer exists, and collaboration is the only way forward as a strategy. It increases our capacity to love, both in terms of others - and yourself. It is the one thing that makes all the difference and, on that basis, is not just important – it is essential. Yet…. on the other hand….
I was also aware that it is very possible to have a great life without having found our purpose. Plenty of people get by extremely well without On the one hand, it’s the cornerstone of my it - so it can’t be essential, can it? Business Enjoyment Model.
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
19
Furthermore, when people bang on about it and suggest that we MUST find it – or else – then that can create pressure and make it more elusive.
“How important is it that I find my purpose?” is the wrong question to ask and, more importantly. the process that I created provides a better approach that you can take when it comes to finding your Purpose.
Things then become frustrating when we don’t make progress, which increases stress and so Imagine then, if you will, that it’s your birthday ends up having the complete opposite effect – or another special occasion. Let us also from what was intended. imagine that you have a favourite restaurant that you love to go to for just such a celebration. On that basis, I absolutely cannot say that it’s essential and that, seemingly, the more As you arrive at said restaurant, you know in important I make it out to be, the worse things advance exactly what you’re going to order get. because that is why you go there. You have your favourite dishes which makes this place What then is the correct answer? like no other. That night, I got thinking about the question (Personally, I like to mix and match and try new and reflected on my own relationship with things. If you’re like me - hey, it’s a thought Purpose. experiment. Go with it.) I remembered the point at which I had decided to start looking for mine. At the time, I knew I was in the right space and even had a pretty clear idea about the direction I was going in and how I was going to do it, but I could tell there was something missing.
Now imagine that it’s time to order dessert. You’ve already had the most amazing starter, the one they do so well.
Your favourite bottle of wine accompanied the incredible main course, cooked to absolute I wasn’t truly connected to it. perfection such that even though you’re comfortably full, the memory of it lingers on I knew that I had to dig deeper. I had to go and your taste buds and in the brain. find out more about me, what I was made of and how I could weave that in with where I was However, no matter how full you are, there is going. It wasn’t something I felt under pressure always room for dessert. to do. It was something I WANTED to do. As a consequence, the hunt was fun. Yes, it was As with the other courses, you know exactly challenging but, ultimately, enjoyable. what you’re going for – and my word are you looking forward to it. Naturally, once I’d discovered it, everything changed, and I couldn’t go back to being the Your favourite dish - vanilla cheesecake. person I was before. Simple, but so delicious – particular the way As I reflected, I formed a process that worked they make it. well to explain my initial conundrum. It takes the form of a thought experiment and can be Nothing fussy, just the finest biscuit crumb base adapted to fit your particular preferences. and the soft rich texture of the cheesecake. No need for any accompaniments or sauces – The intention is to illustrate that the question: everything you need is contained in that one slice. 20
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
That’s how they’ve always served it. That’s the way you like it. That’s why you always order it. Except...
transported to another universe where everything is bright lights, soft colours and fluffy kittens.
Your body pretty much just melts right there in This time they’ve added something to the plate. the chair as you try to process an experience like nothing you’ve experienced before. This time it’s not just the cheesecake that is brought out to the table. If Spinal Tap had been playing on your pleasure strings, this would be the point where they This time they’ve added some Clotted Cream turned everything up to 11. on the side!! That is what you experience tasting your Slightly confused – annoyed even that they’ve favourite cheesecake but now with added tried messing with perfection - you hesitantly Clotted Cream. fork out a mouthful of cake and cream, place it in your mouth and... The birthday celebration has exceeded all … the world stops turning! of your expectations. Against all the odds, perfection has been improved upon and now Your mouth explodes with a taste sensation life will never be the same again. you never knew to be possible. As you are transported home in an ethereal Your brain virtually switches off as you’re glow of immense satisfaction, you suddenly Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
21
“You absolutely don’t NEED to find out for yourself. If life is great for you now, then that is fantastic.”
remember that this is a thought experiment, The Clotted Cream is only important once it’s and you probably need to be doing something. been added. Before that, it sits in a state of potential, that may or may not be realised at With that in mind, I ask you a key question. any moment in time, a kind of Schrödingers Cake. Go back in time to the point when you were about to order dessert. At that stage you were Prior to experiencing adding the cream, the still revelling in the memory of the main and actual issue was that your former self ‘thought’ eagerly anticipating the simple, straightforward that they had everything they needed, and it and unaccompanied cheesecake - before you didn’t even enter their mind that it could be knew about the cream. even better. How then can such a question have any meaning or relevance? If, at that point, somebody had asked you: As you follow things through you realise that “How important is it to have Clotted Cream with the real question to be asked is actually: your cheesecake?” your former self would have said, quite simply “Am I open to improving upon my cheesecake?” “Not at all”. No pressure. No guarantees. Simply opening the mind and being curious. In many ways, you would have been right. Had the cheesecake been as it ever was, you would Of course, in your case, Clotted Cream may not still have had an amazing meal and gone home be the thing that makes the difference for you. extremely happy. Maybe your transformational accompaniment is salted caramel, honeycomb, or even dulce However, your new self would now say ‘different’ de leche. or ‘incredible’ and insist that Clotted Cream is included every time. Whatever it is, be open to looking for it and know that, even if you never find out what it is As you wrestle with how an argument might run – you get to eat lots of cheesecake along the between the two different versions of yourself, way! Yum! you realise that the question itself is part of the problem. To conclude, I cannot tell you how important it is that you find your Purpose. 22
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
You absolutely don’t NEED to find out for with Clotted Cream - metaphorically speaking yourself. If life is great for you now, then that obviously! is fantastic. All I would say is to BE OPEN to exploring and looking for it. (Though if you also want to do that literally, that’s fine too) Be curious and look for clues and patterns that You can contact Andrew at: may indicate further places to explore. Collaborate with like-minded people, who Email: andrew@businessenjoyment.com want to help and support you. They may be Telephone: 07403 110951 able to notice things from the outside that Website: www.businessenjoyment.com you’ve never noticed before. If you find yourself stressed because you haven’t found it yet, then definitely change tack. It should be an empowering, fun journey, not a stressful one. Remember at all times to enjoy and be grateful for what you already have - but give yourself permission to look for more. In short - go forth and eat lots of cheesecake Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
23
24
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Dr. Lizzy Bernthal
ARE YOU ON THE RIGHT TRAIN?
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
25
Are you on the right train, on the right track going to the right destination? Have you even thought about this or ever dreamed that you could love work so much that it doesn’t feel like you are working at all?! So, what is your train, your track and so your purpose and the legacy that you want to create, both individually and as part of your community? Why are you here? Do you jump out of bed each morning excited about what you are going to create? Or…. ‘‘Alright for you, impossible for me, a pipe dream– just need to get through my day thanks!” Are you feeling a little burnt out? I thought and felt like that too until I found my purpose. So how did I find my train and track – my purpose and the legacy that I want to create. How can you find yours? ‘WHY’ is it important? So, what does ‘purpose’ mean in this context? “A sense of purpose means dedicating yourself to a cause beyond yourself. It’s a goal that fuels your motivation in life, giving your life meaning and direction, inspiring you to make a significant contribution to the world.” (Rose, 2018)
26
The great news is that resilience comes naturally once we know our ‘why’! Want success? Great news! Individuals and businesses that have been successful during Covid-19 are those that have such a strong sense of purpose they can ensure they have continued to fulfil their purpose no matter what they are faced with, even if they have needed to pivot in the process. So how did I come to define my purpose? I never thought of my purpose or what train I was on during my 25 years serving in the Army, as a midwifery Nursing Officer and researcher in resilience, psychological well-being and ethical decision-making. All I knew was that I wanted to be on the train that made a difference and to be on the track of being an advocate for others when they were feeling vulnerable – whether it be my patients, my team, my research participants or all the military nurses I met globally. What about the values carriage on the train? I had been brought up as a child in an environment in which having a great sense of justice, respect for others, integrity, loyalty, selfless commitment was paramount. I had no idea that these were
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
“In that moment suddenly my life made sense, I owned who I was, stood tall, found my voice, never to be walked over again.”
the values of the Army. No wonder, as I became 8th generation Army with both my parents and 3 uncles having served, 2 uncles of whom I never met as they were killed in Action before I was born. There were commissioning scrolls from every sovereign back to Queen Victoria in our hall. You might think it was inevitable that I joined the Army, this was not the case. My parents never influenced me, my father had left the Army when I was 6 years old, in fact it was only after I had worked in Hong Kong as a midwife that I came across the Army again and thought maybe it was for me at the tender age of 26. It was my choice entirely. It wasn’t until the end of my military career when I was thinking about what next that I reflected on my career to date and acknowledged the common thread of my purpose train, my passion to support others to find their voice, creating opportunities for nurses to advance academically, present at conferences, get their work published and to fight their corner so they felt heard in a male dominated, rank, medical focused hierarchy. I felt so privileged to be able to support so many extraordinary inspiring individuals. However, when I was back in the office with my boss, I felt intimidated, and looking back, I felt a victim. Happily standing up for others, not for myself as I felt a little broken. I felt like a little 8-year-old girl being told off by the teacher – ‘see me’ written in red at the bottom of my homework. I put on my Army uniform every day as if it were the body armour and helmet I had worn in Afghanistan. Yet it was not protecting me, only I could protect me. Until one day when my boss had gone behind by back, enough was enough! I felt angry, really angry – very rare for me, always the hard worker who got on with the job.
We had our monthly meeting, the issue of the research project in which he had undermined me came up. It was my defining moment, I woke up – enough! No more! I stood up, said my piece, there was an awkward silence, I continued. From previous conversations I knew I was saying what the others had not risked saying that had to be said, they thanked me afterwards for speaking up. In that moment suddenly my life made sense, I owned who I was, stood tall, found my voice, never to be walked over again. I found the right train, my purpose, my vision of what I wanted the world to look like, my ‘why’, my passion, the difference I want to make in the world in line with my values. I realised I wanted to support leaders to get on the ‘authentic leaders, standing tall’ train. I wanted to create an express train where they could find their confidence that is already within them, even if they did not know yet, to own all of who they are as victorious, authentic, innovative leaders, no need to wait for the slow train like I had done. I wanted to be the one to help them to travel 1st class by plucking out their weeds in their metaphorical garden so that they could realise how awesome they are. However, to do this I had to pluck out a few of my own weeds – a whole garden and train full in fact! I found a coach and decided to qualify as a coach myself for my next career, set up my own business – no uniform after 53 years (I had started wearing uniform at the age of 3 at nursery!). When it comes from your heart, nothing else matters, nothing is right or wrong, a sense of freedom, without fear of judgement, criticism, comparison to others. The excitement of being able to wear pink nail varnish every day not just on holiday - so liberating! Magic started to happen; I knew I was on the right
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
27
train. I started to sleep better at night, I had more energy, I ditched the medication, I started to feel I was living again. It wasn’t until my farewell Army regimental dinner (that I had originally been reluctant to attend as did not feel it appropriate to be the centre of attention!) that one of my team who I had led 15 years before came up to me to thank me for my legacy. I was shocked – I had no idea I had created one! He thanked me for fighting the corner for nurses to study at PhD level for the 1st time, for making it mainstream for nurses to study to Masters level, for creating a culture where 1 nurse was funded annually to study for a PhD, my work to support military nurses’ empowerment globally. It highlighted to me that we never know who is watching our train from the sidings! So how to define your purpose, find your train? Simon Sinek reminds us that finding our ‘WHY’ is the one constant that will guide us towards fulfilment in our work and life. We cannot separate our business from our life if we have our vision and purpose correct. Sit quietly and ask yourself the question ‘WHY am I working?’ and ‘what’s the benefit of this?’ at least 7 times, until it hits you with emotion like it did me that day - then you know you are on the right train on the right track.
28
Then tell friends and family, see their response of ‘WOW!” So, what is your train that is unique to you and what is your track? Once you have found it, you are not worried about the destination because you are so enjoying the journey. I’d love to hear how you get on as you create your purpose driven life! Collaboration Global is an extraordinary express train to be on - the wanting to make a difference and create a legacy train! We are on this journey together! References 1 Rose, S. (2019) Identity, purpose and belonging [Accessed 23 Jun 21] Available at https:// steverosephd.com/what-does-it-mean-to-havea-purpose/ 2 Sinek, S. (2017) Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team: Penguin Publishing USA
You can contact Lizzy at: Email: lizzy@rypotential.co.uk Telephone: 07905 584218 Website: www.rypotential.co.uk
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Gill Tiney
IS IT REALLY ESSENTIAL TO HAVE A PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE?
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
29
“I believe that through true collaboration we can all contribute to making our world a better place.”
I was perusing LinkedIn the other day and noticed that ‘purpose’ is very fashionable right now. There are people popping up everywhere, telling us that we ‘should’ have a purpose in order to motivate ourselves, to find true happiness and apparently, most important of all, so we can achieve a ‘six-figure income’. Now, I quite like having a purpose, it fills my waking moments considering how I can help more people, it feels good to have a mission to follow and a vision to aspire to, but I’m not using it to pin all of my future happiness on, or to get my lazy bones out of bed in the morning! It certainly doesn’t motivate me to earn the elusive six figures, although there is every possibility that my purpose can create huge wealth for the community. So, is it really an essential part of our being? Or worse, if you DON’T have your purpose all worked out does that mean you will never be happy? Unlikely! In my humble opinion, the two are not intrinsically linked. I know plenty of people who are truly content in life and when I ask them what their purpose is, they look at me like I need a check-up for my mental well-being. This purpose phenomenon is a new wave mainly in the well-being sector, and generally a great marketing tool. Move away from the SME world and not so much. Call me cynical but those yelling the loudest often have an ulterior motive in helping us to discover our
30
purpose – yup ££££’s. Look between the lines and many – not all, but some – are deeply unhappy as they try to convince others that having a purpose is the answer to all their worries. I believe that happiness comes in many forms. A few years ago, I discovered the book Ikigai (by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles) which is about the Japanese secret to a long and happy life. Purpose was definitely in the mix, but it was not the sole key to longevity and happiness. This started me on the path of realisation that our very elusive happiness is not down to a single element i.e. purpose but made up of a collection of elements within our life, such as Ikigai shows. So, let us assume that purpose is not essential, but still a useful part of leading a fulfilled life. If you know what your purpose is, how does it enhance your everyday activities? Do you know your purpose and over the years has it changed? My purpose has changed a lot, I know I was destined to be a mother and learned so much about myself during that time. It took me on a journey that, now looking back, I can see was preparing me for what I now consider is my reason for being. I believe that through true collaboration we can all contribute to making our world a better place. Yes, a lofty aspiration maybe, and there are many layers to achieving this global transformation, but I see this as a movement to make a difference, for one, and for many.
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
This is my purpose to the extent that when it overwhelms me – as life has a habit of doing for us all, I see no abdication of my mission, it truly feels as though I am meant to do this and to make my contribution to help people see the potential in themselves, to find solutions for our broken world.
Is it essential in my life? Now I have it I would not want to lose it. I think my life would have a piece missing – like discovering healthy food and feeling fantastic, then giving up and going back to sugar laden treats that eventually make you ill – I’d rather not thanks.
Discovering my purpose over a period of about five years was definitely a ‘coming home’ kind of moment, one that has stayed with me. It has enabled me to step into a leadership role as opposed to a nurturing supporter one. I have grown massively in confidence and have learnt to trust my choices that come from my own genius and experience of life.
The question now is, do you know YOUR purpose?
I acknowledge that I have an innate wisdom that I can access and that my genius is in connecting people and seeing solutions where none previously existed.
Imagine giving up the way your life currently is – how does that make you feel, like a piece of that beautiful jigsaw is missing? If you haven’t discovered it yet, and feel intrigued, then I would suggest talking to some of our members at Collaboration Global who are writing in this issue, they are NOT some of the people who are flogging ‘purpose’ to make a quick buck. They genuinely understand the power and potential of finding your mission in life and are genuinely seeking to help. I would also love you to come along to one of our Collaboration Global guest sessions – a place you will be surrounded by people who have done this
Does it give me drive? Yes, which can cause its own frustrations when other people do not match my enthusiasm. Has it made me happy? Yes, but it is not the only thing that makes my heart sing. Has it motivated me? Yes, but there will always be some days I need to call a duvet day.
Do you want to know it? If you have felt drawn and feel compelled to live your life in a certain way, for the benefit of others utilising your skills then I would suggest you probably have.
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
31
work and know their purpose in life. They will inspire you and as someone remarked, give you the feel-good factor. It certainly is a great buzz in the room. You can find the link to book on page 37. What we know about finding our purpose: • Feeling good about ourselves leads to happiness. • Helping others makes us feel good. • Having a focus around what we are good at motivates us. • Knowing how and why we are good at something is empowering. • Therefore, directing that personal genius towards something for good will help us feel good about ourselves. A.K.A. being purposeful. You can be happy without a purpose, but while you are here why not use your talents to help others and enjoy fulfilling your skills and finding a purposeful way to live.
32
Along the way you might discover a higher purpose that takes you on a journey and who knows you might even find the Holy Grail, your Nirvana, but until then, find joy in the small, everyday things that have been created for us, such as a baby laughing or the ocean tickling our toes. Life is too short to worry about finding that elusive purpose, if you have, that is awesome, but if you are yet to discover it, just enjoy the journey. And it will come to you.
You can contact Gill at: Email: gill@collaborationglobal.org Telephone: 07798 601701 Website: www.collaborationglobal.org
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
33
Profile: Taking a look at a key Collaborator in the community.
Phil Street
34
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Who is Phil Street? Phil is an unashamed dreamer. I’m never happier than when I’m thinking big and thinking about what is possible and then questioning my own limiting beliefs around that.
What fills you with joy? I’ve learned that giving myself the benefit of thinking time, takes me to my happy place. Being on a beach with my wife and dog is where I’m at my best. I’m also at one with humour and use humour in most situations and believe that laughter is one of the best tonics for life.
life. I’m now incredibly passionate about creating a legacy that makes a positive difference to as many people as possible. I’m still figuring out every element of this, but I’m having a lot of fun in this phase too.
If you could choose one Collaboration Global behaviour or value that you identify with, what might that be? Choosing one when they all play such a massive part in my life part is a tough ask, but “being human first” really resonates with me.
Please share what your experience has been since you joined Collaboration Global?
What is your reason for BEing? Or in other words what are you passionate about? It’s just been fabulous. It’s felt a little like finding a Like most people, this has evolved through my
second home. I enjoy stretching my brain into new ideas and thinking and each meeting does this in spades. You’re also surrounded by like hearted
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
35
and minded people. It’s also a wonderful forum to just be yourself and test your opinions without fear of having your head bitten off. Who would have thought that being surrounded by level-headed, intelligent, and caring people would be such a positive and productive place to be ;-)?
This issue of The Quest has focused on ‘The Power of Purpose!’, how do you see that manifest in your life? Throughout my life I’ve seen many different purposes come and go. From being on the bread line with a purpose all about making ends meet, to having a higher purpose to potentially affect the lives of others through kindness. I fully believe that fulfilling your higher purpose is difficult without looking after yourself physically and mentally first and giving yourself this base to move forward from.
Are you free to operate within your Genius? What does that mean for you? I think I’m still striving to achieve this. I enjoy what I do for a living, but I don’t necessarily believe it’s what gets the best from my brain. I take great enjoyment from experimenting with ideas and so perhaps this is part of my genius.
36
What vision do you have for your business and your life going forward within the Collaboration Global community? I still believe with my entire being that I have something HUGE in me, something that will make a positive difference to the world in which we live. Therefore, the vision I have for the future business is very different from the business I currently run. I think that having Collaboration Global as part of my life will play a large part in helping me formulate what that vision will look like.
If someone is interested in getting involved with our Collaboration Global community, from your perspective what might they expect when they get there? Expect to be welcomed with open arms and then expect to have your brain stretched, in a good way. The quality of topics, content and discussion have been wonderful.
Email: phil@momentumrecruitment.com Telephone: 07821 528805 Website: www.momentumrecruitment.com
www.CollaborationGlobal.org
Be Our Guest! Be our guest at one of our regular live online sessions and meet our community. The last Tuesday of the month 3-5pm (UK local time) online. What happens: We learn - as a member shares their genius We discuss – as we consider ways to improve our business and life We debate – a topic of the day or a belief system We connect, collaborate, and grow! Click the link below and we look forward to seeing you there. https://bit.ly/3gcOrT3
Join the discussion... facebook.com/Collglobal
37
