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Why I Did Not Sail Around the World at Age 16
Before I could go anywhere when I was 16, I had to tell my mom exactly where I was going and what time I would be back. She would then respond that I needed to be home an hour earlier than I had said as it was a school night. Dr. Robert Rome
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Healing Snakes
This wasn’t about the snake at all, this was about getting the Jews to lift up their eyes to heaven and acknowledge their mistake, and through this recognition, G-d healed them. Rabbi Reuven Wolf
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Sorry for Nothing
One young soldier, who grew up on a totally secular kibbutz in the northern portion of the state gazed at the sight of his comrades crying like children as they stared up at the ancient stones. Suddenly, he, too began to wail. Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky Parshas Balak
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The Merging of Two Souls
The music starts and my chatan, my groom, is about to be led to me. He will cover my face with a veil, in order to shield the holiness, the Divine Presence, which rests on the face of a bride. By Sarah Esther Crispe
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By Robert J. Rome, Ph.D.
Why I Did Not Sail Around the World at Age 16
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News Item from last week: 16 year old California girl activates emergency signal after 30-foot waves hit her sailboat, seemingly ending her attempt to sail round the world. Girl’s condition is not known as she may be lost at sea. News Item from May 1966: Naomi Rome grounds son Robert for 30 days after he misses once again his school-night curfew by 15 minutes and comes home from youth group activity at 10:15 p.m. on a Sunday night. Before I could go anywhere when I was 16, I had to tell my mom exactly where I was going and what time I would be back. She would then respond that I needed to be home an hour earlier than I had said as it was a school night. My Jewish friends tell me that they had the same experiences as teenagers. Their mothers needed to know their whereabouts at all times. Jewish teens have shared the same experience over the decades. Jewish mothers have wanted to know where their teenage children are, at all times. They have wanted to know with who their children would be during the evening. There was also a reminder to put on a sweater. Now, anxious Jewish moms call their teens on the cell phone, inquiring about their current location and whether they will be home on time. With millions of Jewish teens sharing these same experiences through the years, it is with wonderment to hear about any mom, Jewish or not, who lets her 16 year old girl go out alone on a sailboat to sail around the world. What kind of mom would let her 16 year old boy or girl sail in the middle of winter months in the south Indian Ocean, an area prone to huge winter storms with gigantic waves and strong winds? What kind of mom even lets her teenager sail out of the Marina del Rey harbor on the way to nearby Catalina? The answer: Not my mother, and not most Jewish mothers I know.
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I used to be a good football player. Whether playing in the local street or scrimmaging in school physical education class in flag or touch football, I would always play quarterback as I could throw a spiral pass for a great distance while evading the rushers. Yet, I would not even ask my mother whether I could play high school football for my high school’s championship team. I knew what the answer would be: “No you can’t play on the football team. You might get hurt.” How many talented Jewish boys gave up a future NFL contract as they would not be allowed to play a sport in which they excelled? While there have been some Jewish kids who make it to the Olympics on such teams as the gymnastics or the swim teams, these are the rarities. Little league, maybe. Daily 5:00 a.m. two-hour swims in the pool before school, no way. It is hard to understand the evolution of the Jewish mother. That Jewish mothers are different has been highlighted in a Phillip Roth novella where he describes being the only boy in Newark in the 1950’s who could not go out without a sweater on a 70 degree day. It seems that there has been relatively little change in the behavior of Jewish mothers since the 50’s. Jewish mothers protect. They create a highly structured, protective environment in which we mature. The Los Angeles Sheriff ’s Department may perform a curfew check of teens who may still be at the Universal City Walk after the 10:00 legal curfew for minors. Jewish kids are seldom caught in the curfew roundup as the fear of the reaction of Jewish mothers sends Jewish kids home, often even before the sheriffs make their rounds. Jewish law dictates various obligations that parents have in regard to their sons and daughters. Parents must teach Torah to their children. They must also teach them a trade. It is obligatory to arrange to marry them. Parents even
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have the obligation according to many Rabbis to teach a child to swim. But perusing the entire Gemara will not produce a single law or reason dictating the need to know the teenage child’s GPS location at all times. Maybe the derivation of the Jewish mother’s strict guidelines derived from years of living in places prone to nonJewish marauders who attacked Jews in pogroms in Europe and elsewhere. If the Jewish teen did not obey, the Jewish child might have been exposed to getting kidnapped in 19th Century Europe. The Jewish teenager was forced to keep close to home. It was the mother who helped to keep Jewish children safe. The strictures of Europe continued as families moved to the United States. Even though there were no longer pogroms, the Jewish teens remained cautioned “for their own protection.” Put on the sweater. Come home before 10:00 p.m. Don’t spend time with those bad kids. These and other statements have kept American Jewish teens in their place. My mother’s seemingly obsessive concerns for my safety contributed to the person I am as well as the parent I try to be. I had to master control over my schedule at a fairly young age. As a result of the pressure from my mother, I developed the habit to be on time. I had to take control over time. This enabled me to plan what I wanted to do in the day, which in turn allowed me to accomplish more. While Jewish mothers today seem to inherit their own mother’s concerns about their teens, some factors put at risk the very role of the Jewish mother. It is hard for mothers with a full day’s work schedule of their own to follow through about their teen’s schedules. Also, with the many separated and divorced families, the single par-
ents can’t provide the presence that stay-at-home moms and two-parent families have previously provided. Also, with the current economy and economic pressures, parents often have their minds on things other than their children. At the time of my teenage years, I had mixed feelings toward my mom’s role in my life. I was sure that having my mother “on my back” needlessly took my energies away from my friends and my preferred activities with friends. In retrospect, I now realize that my mom gave me the gift of responsibility. I gained a respect toward promptness and a full understanding of time. I learned to live up to my obligations. Many times, I did not really like my mother’s demands. I did not enjoy the consequences of not living up to those demands, namely being grounded or otherwise punished. But I now know that the successes I have achieved are in large measure the result of the direction and guidance of my mother and of my father. No, my mother would never have permitted me to go sailing alone. I never would have encircled the world. I would never have had to face 30 foot waves alone. But I would not have changed anything. As I have matured, I have come to respect the role my mother played. Jewish teens taking great risks like sailing around the world remain an oddity. However, disciplined Jewish teens are still able to complete medical schools, law schools, Ph.D.’s, and so many other accomplishments because of the unique role that Jewish mothers have occupied in their lives. Thank you Mom. May your memory always be a blessing. •
Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.
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ithin the Parsha of Chukas we learn about the tragedy that befell upon the Jewish people when they complained to Moshe that they were tired of life in the desert. G-d punished them swiftly by unleashing a plague of venomous snakes onto the camp. They quickly realized their mistake and came running to Moshe, asking for his forgiveness, and begging that he pray on their behalf, that G-d should take away the horrific plague. Moshe quickly forgave them wholeheartedly, he prayed for them, and G-d provided a solution: Moshe raised a copper sculpture of a venomous snake on a high pole for everyone to see. Anyone who was suffering from a snake bite gazed up at the snake and was healed.
it a dwelling place for Him, and down here, in our lives, we experience and enjoy the pleasures and rewards of life. But if G-d is completely good and the creation is completely His, how is it that so many negative things exist all around us?
The Mishna, in tractate Rosh HaShana explains: “Does a snake bring death or give life? Rather, this teaches us that all the time that the Jewish people gaze upward and yield their hearts to their Father in heaven, they are healed…” This wasn’t about the snake at all, this was about getting the Jews to lift up their eyes to heaven and acknowledge their mistake, and through this recognition, G-d healed them.
Olam Chesed Yibaneh – the underlying force that drives creation is G-d’s kindness. This world is all about G-d’s love and kindness in every single moment of its existence. The Baal Shem Tov teaches that Hashem recreates the world every instant. So, every exact detail of the entire universe, each and every moment, is one that G-d is continuously creating with His kindness. There has never been, and never will be a moment in time that the creation isn’t completely permeated with G-d’s goodness.
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Lifting pain back to its divine source, exposing its innate goodness.
Healing Snakes
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But why did Moshe need a snake to deliver this lesson? We are especially careful in Judaism when it comes to personification and symbols of mystical power. Moshe could have told them to look towards heaven, or rallied them to teshuva through a fiery and passionate speech filled with rebuke and encouragement. Or, he could have pointed upward, like he did at the war with Amalek. What is the inherent lesson to be learned from that snake? We all know that Hashem is inherently good and positive, without a speck of evil or negativity. Everything He does or creates must also be completely good. G-d decided that there is to be a creation, and placed us within, to make • 323-965-1544 •
We all know about, or G-d forbid, have experienced some kind of hurt, tragedy, confusion or loneliness. These don’t make our lives better. Besides this, we are all born with an evil inclination inside of us. This evil inclination, our yetzer hara, constantly distracts us with jealously and arrogance, as well as unhealthy lusts and cravings for things that aren’t good for us. Why did G-d create the world this way? How could He have created a world with so much misery and pain?
The Talmud (Berachot 59b) teaches us that on the occasion of hearing either good or bad news, a person should receive it with a blessing infused with joy. It is, of course, understandable to make a blessing over good news, but how can we be expected to express joy over bad news? The Torah doesn’t want us to be disingenuous and never asks us to do something impossible, but this doesn’t seem reasonable! A blessing might be appropriate when we hear bad news as an acknowledgement or acceptance of G-d’s sovereignty, but why should someone be happy when they info@communitylinks.info
receive tragedy? The Kabbalists and Chasidic Masters teach us that everything, even pain and tragedy, has a spiritual source which is completely good. In the Supreme, Divine Kindness, there are two channels in which the energy flows into the creation, a concealed higher channel and a revealed lower channel. Hashem contracts his kindness and it is channeled through the spiritual worlds until it finally reaches us. Sometimes, the kindness and goodness that G-d wants to send to us is so great that it won’t fit through the lower channel and must therefore flow through the higher, but more concealed, channel. When it comes this way, however, the physical, revealed world is not yet a fitting receptacle for the great goodness of this light, and this incongruity results in the goodness presenting itself as something dark and negative within the creation. An analogy for this is one of teacher and student. One day, a deep and profound new idea comes into the teachers mind and the teacher wants nothing more than to share this revolutionary, earth shattering perspective with the students. The teacher knows that the students are not mature or experienced enough to understand it, perhaps they never will be, and when they hear it, they might become completely confused or lost. Yet, the idea is so great that the teacher can’t bear the thought of holding it back from them, and perhaps they will gain something from it, now or in the future. The next day in class, the teacher presents the lesson to a bewildered and frustrated class. Some of the students are completely shocked, others become appalled and angry, others completely reject the lesson, but the teacher had to share it. The next class, the teacher wants to continue the new material, but having tried his best, he knows the students can’t handle it – some of them aren’t even back in school – so he goes back to his usual lesson, and the students are happy and exited to learn again. The teacher, however is now frustrated feels limited. What is brilliant and luminous to the teacher is incomprehensible and utter darkness to the the students, and what is brilliant and exiting to the students feels completely dark and limited to the teacher. The only reason the teacher returns to the old lessons, is to keep his relationship with the students. Perhaps, again in the future the teacher will try again, to see if the students will react more positively to the new lesson.
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We also find this between parent and child. Parents want to give all of their love to the child, but the child’s perception and understanding of goodness is immature and incomplete. In child’s list of really good things includes a lot of toys and sweets, a lot of days away from school and other similar things. In the parent’s mind, sweets aren’t healthy and skipping school is isn’t very good either. The parent knows what the child needs to be successful in life and wants only the best for this child, but in order to be a responsible parent, there needs to be a balance. If the child never sees goodness, and only sees darkness and discipline coming from the parent, the family will not have a healthy relationship, and the child may even rebel against the parents. Spoiling and always giving in to the child will also create an unhealthy child. To strike a balance, parents must compromise their adult, mature understanding of good, and from time to time, give the child little things, childish things, to build a relationship of trust and raise a healthy and successful child. Both of these examples are limited to the realm of human experience, where the teacher and the students, or the parent and child and limited by a few years of experience and maturity. With only these small differences we can clearly see the miscommunication and misunderstandings that are possible. How much more so, when it comes to the difference between us and Gd, who is infinite and limitless? The Baal Shem Tov says, we are each like G-d’s only child, and He takes care of each of us like a loving parent, giving us what’s is good, what we need and what we want. Sometimes, G-d is doing good to us from a level which He sees as the ultimate kindness, but our limited understanding and judgment can’t see what is really going on. He strikes a balance between the lower, revealed goodness and the higher, concealed goodness. The same goes for our evil inclination, the yetzer hara. Up in heaven, in the highest spiritual realms, the evil inclination is a dedicated servant of G-d. It’s task is to test us, so that we should pass the test, and prove our loyalty, love and dedication to G-d. But as the evil inclination, the primordial snake, slithers its way into our hearts, it is darkened and concealed, working through even darker agents and devices in our world that completely hide this true desire and purpose. When we struggle with arrogance and greed, with dark temptations and desires, we must remember that the root and source of this struggle is divine. The desire
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to sin doesn’t make a person evil. The stronger and darker the craving, the more Hashem trusts us to pass the test and do what is right. We must each tell our yetzer hara that we know its divine source, and that it is just tingling us to prove we can make the correct choice. This is the lesson of the snake in Chukas. The Jewish people were bitten by two kinds of snakes. The first is sin – the snake within our hearts, a descendent of the primordial snake from Gan Eden, which tempts and lures us away from G-d. The second snake is one that brings pain and suffering - the harsh beatings we take in life. These emissaries of judgment sting us and make life difficult for us. Hashem told Moshe to take the snake and lift it on a pole – to remind the Jewish people that these snakes below, the yetzer hara and the suffering and pain – their source comes from the supernal snake above, the G-dly judgment as it is in its source, which contains only goodness and kindness. Moshe lifted it up so that the Jews would see the snake and trace their suffering back to its source, to lift the veils of creation and see the divine sweetness of the source of all judgments. It is important to always keep this lesson in mind, and receive the suffering along with joy. However, it is also a mitzvah, and required of us, to pray to G-d whenever we have any kind of troubles. Furthermore, when it comes to another person’s troubles, it is not appropriate to share this lesson with them during a time of pain. Our place is not to try and justify or explain away their distress, rather, we are supposed to provide a shoulder of understanding and support, and immediately cry out and pray for them, perhaps demand, that the suffering should stop immediately. May we all experience only goodness, until we destroy all of the darkness and reveal the ultimate goodness with the coming of Moshiach, very soon.• Excerpt from "The Parsha In My Life" class by Rabbi Reuven Wolf. Maayon Yisroel was founded by Rabbi Reuven Wolf, a renowned educator and inspiring lecturer who has devoted his life to reaching out and rekindling the spirit of Yiddishkeit in his fellow Jew. Over the past five years Rabbi Wolf has been teaching a 2-4 hour class on the weekly Parsha, named affectionately "The Thursday Night Shiur".
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The laws of the parah adumah, the red heifer, have enraptured mortals since the day it was commanded. There was no reason or rationale given for it. The nations of the world, baffled by it, mocked our observance of it. Even King Solomon, the wisest of men, claimed to be stupefied by its reasoning. And Moshe was the only mortal that understood the essence of its every nuance.
PARSHAS CHUKAS Its laws are complex, its symbolism mysterious, and the logic of its repercussions quite enigmatic. The red heifer's ashes purify those who have become tamei, yet the administrating Kohen who was tahor becomes tamei! There is no logic behind that occurrence; yet that is the law. So sacred was the red heifer that Moshe and Aaron sacrificed, that it ashes were saved from generation to generation. Each additional red-heifer offering was added to the remnants of the previous, so that the new ashes would mix with the vestigial ashes of Moshe's original heifer. Hundreds of generations and thousands of Kohanim and Israelites who performed the mitzvah of parah adumah believed with unquestioning faith in the law's ritual divinity and power.
Chukas Pocus
I have one simple question. Why were these complex, hidden, and very spiritual laws placed smack in the middle of the Book of Bamidbar? The enigmatical laws of purity and impurity are almost entirely relegated to Sefer VaYikra. That sefer discusses sacrificial offerings. It also details a host of physio-spiritual maladies, among them, the laws of tzora'as, zav, zavah, nidah, and so forth. Shouldn't the mystical requirements of the Parah Adumah join its counterparts together with the laws of the Kohanim? Why is it placed in the Book that recounts the stories of human folly -the malicious uprising of Korach, the miscalculations of the spies, the unfaithfulness of the sotah, the complaints against the heavenly fare of manna? What significance does the juxtaposition of these seemingly unexplainable rituals, obviously not congruent with mortal logic doing with the tales of error and miscalculation? One evening during World War II, Senator Kenneth McKellar of Tennessee could not sleep. As chairman of the Senate appropriations committee, he could not understand why the administration was
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requesting some $2,000,000,000 towards certain unusual scientific research. He called Secretary of War Henry L. Stimson and began to shout. "Do you expect me to sanction this tremendous appropriation without any idea as to where it is going!" Stimson kept quiet. He pondered and hesitated, then he asked, "Can you keep a secret?" After McKellar assured him that he could, Stimson whispered, "We are about to split the atom." McKellar exploded. "Are you crazy? This is a war! We have men out there! We need guns! We need planes! We need ammunition! And you guys are fooling around with some hocus pocus -- splitting atoms!" It was only months later that McKellar, along with the entire world learned the power of this seemingly incomprehensible and esoteric exercise. Perhaps there is no better place to expound the laws of parah adumah than in the middle of Sefer Bamidbar. For it is this Torah section that discusses a generation that thinks they are able to calculate and define everything. It tells of spies who return from Canaan and exclaim that according to their calculations there is no
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logical way that Israel will conquer the land. It tells of Korach, who complained that according to his calculations he should be the prince of the tribe of Levi. Its Midrash tells of Korach gathering 250 men and ranting that according to his logic a mezuzah is unnecessary in a room filled with sacred books. It talks about false leaders who would be satisfied if only the spirit of the law is fulfilled, even if the letter of the law is not. Bamidbar even contains the story of Miriam, who, according to her reasoning, spoke ill of her brother Moshe. It discusses Jews who wanted meat rather than manna. When humans make mortal calculations to redefine Torah law, there is no better time and place to talk about red heifers and the complex and esoteric laws thereof. The red cow and its laws represent the total omnipotence of Hashem, be it spirit, in logic, or in mechanics. It exclaims that that though we may search for rhyme and reason of Torah, we still must observe the mitzvos He commanded, regardless if we understand them. For there will always be some aspect that may only appear to us as mysterious as hocus pocus. Yet with uncalculating faith we must realize that there is great method to the many aspects we cannot deem mortal. In that manner we shall merit to be totally committed to Hashem's Torah, and not our mortal vision of it. •
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LA protest: Turkey has blood on its hands Some 5,000 people, including politicians, actors, community leaders, participate in Beverly Hills rally in support of Israel, carry signs reading, 'Peace activists don't use knives and axes' and 'Shame on Turkey.' Governor Schwarzenegger speaks with Noam Shalit LOS ANGELES - As anti-Israel protests are being held throughout the world following Israel's raid on a Gazabound flotilla, a rally in support of Israel was held Sunday in Los Angeles in which 5,000 people participated. The keynote speaker at the rally, which was organized by the Israeli consulate in the city, was none other than California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
crowd to hear. Shalit called upon the rally participants not to stop fighting for Gilad's release. Schwarzenegger said that, being a father of four, he could not imagine what it would feel like if one of his children were held hostage, and, therefore, is calling for Gilad to be returned home. Noam Shalit also said during the phone conversation that his son has been held hostage for four years, without one day of light, without anyone being allowed to visit him. He said that his son is slowly disappearing and called upon the crowd to help release his beloved son before its too late.
Supporters of Israel marched along Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills carrying Israeli flags in the largest proIsrael rally in the US since last week's flotilla raid. In addition to Israelis and Jews, the rally was also attended by leaders from the Iranian, Armenian, and Mexican communities, as well as Catholic clergymen.
The Israeli Consul-General in Los Angeles Yaakov Dayan took the stage wrapped in an Israeli flag, and called upon Israel supporters everywhere in the world not to be afraid to rally in favor of the country.
In the background, the songs Am Yisrael Chai, David Melech Yisrael, and Hatikva were played over a loudspeaker system. One of the participants blew the shofar. Thousands shouted: "Turkey is a friend of Hamas." The protesters carried signs with photographs of those they called "pacifists" beating IDF soldiers with clubs. Below the photos was the title: "Peace activists don't use knives and axes." Another photograph shows a range of knives and axes with above the title: "Humanitarian aid – knives, axes, and clubs." In addition, signs were waved that said "Shame on Turkey," "Israel wants peace," and "Turkey – you have blood on your hands." Release Gilad now Schwarzenegger told the crowd he supports Israel and its right to defend itself. He spoke with Noam Shalit, the father of captured Israelis soldier Gilad Shalit. The conversation between the two was played over the loudspeakers for the
Cable news channels broadcast some of the rally live. Among the speakers at the rally were Oscar-winning actor John Voight, Angelina Jolie's father, who presented himself as a supporter of Israel, and Democrat Congressman Brad Sherman and Republican Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann. Religious officials also attended the rally. Catholic priests spoke in favor of Israel in Spanish and in English. Among the rabbis attending the event was head of the Wiesenthal Center Rabbi Hier, who said that the aid flotilla passengers must remove their cover of peace activists behind which thy are hiding and reveal their true faces as terrorists. Prof. Yehuda Pearl, father of reporter Daniel Pearl who was murdered in Pakistan, also spoke at the rally, saying that the fight against Hamas and Iran is a fight between civilization and barbarism. •
Yitzhak Benhorin contributed to this report
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Primary classroom ages 3-6 Now enrolling for September 2010/5770 Melody Acres, Tarzana
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W
e are all fascinated by inanimate or animal objects that speak. The '60s had TV viewers kvelling over talking horses, even talking cars. And an entire industry was based on the concept of a talking mouse. But this week a talking animal is no joke. The Torah tells us about a talking animal that brought no laughs to its rider and teaches a serious lesson to us all. Bilaam, the greatest prophet that the gentile world had seen, was hired by Balak, King of Moab, for one mission: curse the Jews. Bilaam's feigned reluctance was quickly turned to exuberance when offers of honors and great wealth were added as signing bonus, and first thing in the morning he saddled his trusted donkey and was on his way. He planned to travel to an overlook, where he would cast his spell on the Jewish Nation as ARSHAS they camped innocently beneath the wicked gaze of Balak and his employee, Bilaam, the prophet.
her mouth, and she asked Bilaam, "why did you hit me? Aren't I the same animal that you have ridden your entire life? Should not my strange behavior give cause for concern?" (Numbers 22:28) When the angel, sword in hand, finally revealed himself, and chided Bilaam for striking the innocent animal, Bilaam was flabbergasted. He was left speechless save for one sentence. "I have sinned, for I did not know that you were standing opposite me on the road. And if you want, I shall return" (Numbers 22:34). What is disturbing is Bilaam's immediate admission of sin. If he could not see the angel why did he admit guilt? Many riders would hit a donkey that presses their foot against the wall or crouches down amidst a group of a king's officers. Bilaam should have simply stated to the angel, "I did not know you were ALAK there and thought my beast was acting in a manner that required discipline." Why the apology? If he truly did not know that the angel was there, why did he admit to sinning?
Sorry for Nothing P
But Hashem had different plans. As Bilaam's donkey ambled toward a narrow passage, it saw a frightening sight. An angel, with a sword thrust forward, blocked its path. The beast turned off the road into a field, and Bilaam struck the animal to get it back on the road. But again the angel stood in the passageway and the poor donkey, in fear, squeezed tightly against a stone wall, pressing Bilaam's leg against the wall. The great prophet, who so haughtily straddled the donkey, did not see the angelic figure and reacted violently. Again he hit his donkey; this time harder . But the angel did not retreat. He began approaching the donkey and its rider. Suddenly the donkey crouched in panic, and Bilaam struck it again. But this time the donkey did not act like a mule. She spoke up. Miraculously, Hashem opened
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On one of the final days of the Six Day War the Israeli troops pierced through enemy fortifications and forged their way through the ancient passageways of Jerusalem. As if Divine gravitational force was pulling them, one group of soldiers dodged the Jordanian bullets and proceeded until there was no reason to continue. They had reached the Kotel HaMaravi, the Western Wall, the holiest place in Judaism, the site of both the First and Second Temples. The young men, some of whom had yeshiva education, others who came from traditional backgrounds, stood in awe and began to cry in unison. The Kotel had been liberated!
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One young soldier, who grew up on a totally secular kibbutz in the northern portion of the state gazed at the sight of his comrades crying like children as they stared up at the ancient stones. Suddenly, he, too began to wail. One of the religious soldiers, who had engaged in countless debates with him, put his arm around him and asked, "I don't understand. To us the Kotel means so much. It is our link with the Temple and the holy service. This is the most moving experience of our lives. But why are you crying?" The young soldier looked at his friend, and amidst the tears simply stated, "I am crying because I am not crying." Bilaam, the greatest of gentile prophets, realized that
something must be wrong. A simple donkey saw the revelation of an angel. He did not. He realized that there are experiences he should have been able to grasp and appreciate. If he didn't it was not a donkey's fault. It was not an angel's fault. It was his fault. He realized then and there that it was he who was lacking. How often does G-d cry out to us in newspaper headlines, be it earthquakes, wildfires, or human tragedies? We should stare at the sight and see the divine figure standing with an outstretched sword. We do not. We flip the paper and strike at the donkeys who struck out. We ought to cry at the tragedies of life, and if we do not realize that they are there, we ought to cry about that. Then one day we will all smile. Forever. •
by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky
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The Merging of Two Souls A Bride Describes the Experience of an Orthodox Jewish Wedding
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t has been an entire week. As per our tradition, I have not seen him or spoken with him. I have not even heard his voice. And yet I have his picture in my mind, his words in my heart and his being engraved in my soul. It is the day of our wedding and I wake early to prepare. Externally I am having my hair done, my nails, my makeup. But within I am in a completely different world. I recite psalms trying to infuse every moment with holiness. I fast as it is my personal Yom Kippur, my Day of Atonement and I ask forgiveness for my past while cleansing and preparing for our new future. In my wedding dress I represent a queen and I pray for the ability to be a crown to my husband. Not to be his decoration, but to be the tie between his superconscious and his conscious, to enable him to be his best. Just as a crown rises above the head and yet connects with it as well, so too the Jewish woman binds together the spiritual and the physical, theory with reality. The crown rests on the temples, the most sensitive part of the head. Spiritually the woman rests on the temples as well. She is able to massage where there is pain, while simultaneously ensuring that the head does not inflate, for she serves as its borders. And yet she holds the head up high. Because she is queen she allows him to be king.
selves and complete each other. Yet it will take work, hard work. He is not the answer to my incompleteness but rather the means for me to get there. So we recognize that we love what we know and what we are aware of, but we are also marrying the parts that are hidden now from each other, and even to ourselves. We are determined to love these parts as well and to learn to understand how they are also an integral part of our healing and growth. Finally, after the longest week of my life, my chatan, my groom, approaches me. It is almost too intense to look. I glance at my husband-to-be for a moment but then my eyes well up with tears. I can no longer see but I don't need to. We are about to be bound together. But we are not just two people. Our marriage represents the continuity of the Jewish people. We are not only about to be bound to each other, but in doing so, we bind together the past, the present and the future. We will now reunite again under the chuppah, the marriage canopy, to become husband and wife. The canopy is open on all sides to represent how our home and hearts should be, welcoming and open to all around. We will be outside, under the stars, to bring heaven down to earth while elevating ourselves closer to heaven.
I take off my earrings, bracelet and necklace. In another room he empties his pockets, undoes his tie and unties his shoelaces. He is not marrying me for my physical beauty or external jewels. I am not marrying him for the money in his pockets. He comes to me unbound, with no ties, with no connection to anyone or anything but to me and our commitment, to each other.
Now it is I who is led to him, as he awaits me under the chuppah. As I approach, I encircle him seven times. As there are seven days of the week culminating in the holiness of the Sabbath, so too, I will surround him, enveloping him in love and commitment, culminating with my standing by his side. Just as I am his crown which sits as a circle around his head, now I too create Our marriage represents the continuity of the Jewish people that bond, that foundation, that security.
The music starts and my chatan, my groom, is about to be led to me. He will cover my face with a veil, in order to shield the holiness, the Divine Presence, which rests on the face of a bride. My veil will be opaque so that I cannot see out and no one can see in. My eyes will anyway be closed to more highly sensitize my ability to think and feel. We recognize that we are marrying what we see, but we are also marrying what we don't see I want the utmost privacy at this moment and to not be distracted by the stares from our hundreds of guests.
In a circle all sides are equally close to its center and there exists perfect harmony. Once I have completed my seven circles, he returns to encircle me by placing an unblemished and unmarked simple gold ring on my finger. This is our 8th circle, one above the natural, the days of the week, and uniting us with the supernatural, the One Above. Seven blessings are now recited, imbuing additional holiness to our relationship and commitment. But right before we turn to celebrate with each other, with our guests, as husband and wife, we first must break a glass.
By veiling me we make an important unspoken statement to one another. We recognize that we are marrying what we see, but we are also marrying what we don't see. With utmost belief we are sure that we are the other halves to our soul. Only together can we complete our-
The last thing my new husband does under our wedding canopy is that he steps on this glass. It is silent and we all hear it shatter. The shattered glass represents the suffering that must always be remembered, even in our joy. Even though we are imbued with happiness, we as a people, as
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a world, are not in such a state. And therefore it is our responsibility to remember that as we rejoice we need to create a world where all can rejoice. And we must live our lives with a sensitivity to those less fortunate than ourselves and be grateful for all the good that has been bestowed upon us.
After the glass is broken, it is now time for us to celebrate our joy. I remove the veil, as my husband and I gaze at each other for the first time as a married couple. The music begins, our guests start singing and dancing, and we are led from the canopy to begin our new life together. •
By Sara Esther Crispe, a writer, inspirational speaker and mother of four, is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org.
Cheder Menachem Annual Auction The Cheder Menachem Annual Auction drew over 300 people last Tuesday, June 1st, for a festive evening of prizes and entertainment in support of the Lubavitch boys’ school. Perfect weather enhanced this truly beautiful evening at the luxurious Gilmore Adobe Gardens, where the elegant setup featured a lovely display of an assortment of prizes. The program itself was a terrific success—from Master of Ceremonies Simcha Levenberg’s humorous quips to the inspiring performance by the boys’ choir and thoughtful d’var Torah delivered by 4th grade student, Avi Baitelman. Throughout, guests enjoyed a gourmet hot buffet and delectable desserts. The event also included a screening of a short film that demonstrated the cheder’s achievements and the warmth and humor exhibited by the yeshiva’s staff. And of course, the prizes: Split the pot and jackpot were won, respectively, by Rivky Minkowitz and Levi Mishulovin; Rabbi Y. Schneerson took home roundtrip tickets for two to Israel; Boruch and Roza Greenbaum won an iMac and the Fabulous Freeda Wig went to Hudy Lipskier. Dozens of others won great prizes that ranged from an iPad to a silver Menorah and from trips to Disneyland to jewelry. For more information about Cheder Menachem of Los Angeles please visit their website at www. ChederMenachem.com
Send your organization’s press release to press@communitylinks.info
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Young Chevra Take Over CA Mountains For Sold Out Shabbaton Rabbi YY Jacobson inspires young Lubavitch families from cities across the Southland
A
sold out program of 300 hundred men, women and children headed up the picturesque Mountains of Running Springs, CA for Young Chevra of Southern California’s 3rd annual Shabbaton. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Jacobson enthralled participants throughout the weekend with many thought provoking lectures, workshops and farbrengens. It culminated in a fascinating Melave Malka address that had his audience captivated until 1am on Motzei Shabbos. There was a unique sense of achdus and friendship displayed among the young and rapidly growing Lubavitch communities of Southern California. This was clearly evident when the Chairman of Young Chevra’s Board, Jonathan Herzog did a roll call of participating communities at the Melave Malka. Cheers erupted as the participants from: Agoura Hills, Long Beach, The Valley, North Hollywood, Lomita, Pico Robertson, La Brea, Redondo Beach and Beverly Hills were announced. At the Melave Malka, Young Chevra also acknowledged the tremendous efforts of Rabbi Yosef Brod and Yossi Burston who manage the campus at Running Springs. Young Chevra recruited Rabbi Mayer Greene to join the Shabbaton and host a live interactive Jewish version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” Rabbi Jacobson participated as the final contestant in a program that ran until 2.30 am! The Young Chevra Shabbaton also featured Rabbi Mendel Duchman of the Kol Yakov Yeduda Jr Congregation. Rabbi Duchman gave the children a chinuch filled weekend they will never forget, including his famous “Shimon Omer” contest. All the kids were enthusiastically trying to win the “all you can eat at the restaurant of your choice” grand prize. On Sunday the weekend finished off on a high, as families awoke to the first ever “Young Chevra County Fair” – a fun-filled day of family entertainment and activities followed by a Grand BBQ, with specialty sausages shipped in from Jeff ’s Gourmet Sausage Factory. Young Chevra was established two years ago with the vision and foresight of Rabbi Mendel Shwartz together with the tireless efforts of Yitzy Geisinsky and others who shared a goal of promoting achdus between the younger Lubavitch communities of Southern California. The Board of Young Chevra has wide representation comprised of members from all the main local Chabad Shuls and regional communities. Earlier this year the group raised and distributed close to $10,000 in Maos Chittim to assist young families in meeting the costly needs of Pesach. Two years ago they also launched a Gemach (free loan fund) for the Young Chevra community which has proven to be very instrumental in helping out the Young Chevra of Southern California. • Send your organization’s press release to press@communitylinks.info
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease.
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SUMMER SPEECH ENRICHMENT June 27-August 18
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What is Livescan Fingerprinting? Livescan is an inkless fingerprinting process where fingerprints are electronically transmitted to the Department of Justice for background screening. Ink fingerprinting is still required in many states. However, as a result of legislation passed in 1997, the California Department of Justice (CA-DOJ) has developed the automated background check process, which requires Livescan fingerprints for criminal history background checks that may be required as a condition of employment. Livescan technology replaces the ink process of recording fingerprint images. The CA-DOJ may also forward Livescan fingerprints to the FBI if required.
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Engagements Lauren Feldman & Avrohom Langer Chaya Karnowsky & Yehoshua Einbinder Goldie Weinstein & Dovid Markel Shoshie Rosenbaum & Gavriel Sauer Chava Brocha Roseman & Yehuda Gruman Aliza Kranzler & Shloimie Zeffren Chani Yageel & Yisroel Greenman
Calfornia Kosher Kitchen Chocolate Dipped Bananas
Weddings
Ingredients
Chaya Mushka Bryski & Avi Lesches Yael Furst & Avi Pinsky
• 5 bananas • 10 popsicle sticks • 3 cups good quality chocolate bar • 3 tablespoons butter, cut up
Births - Boys Devorah Leah & Motti Cohen
Births - Girls
Toppings:
Estee & Rabbi Moshe Kesselman Sarah & Laibel Melamed Erica & Levy Solomon
• Chopped nuts • Toasted coconut • Cookie crumbles • Colored sprinkles or chocolate jimmies • Mini chocolate candies or mini semi sweet chips, (for chocoholics) • Granola
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Directions Peel and cut the bananas in half crosswise, so that you have 10 pieces. Place peeled bananas on sticks. Line a cookie sheet with waxed paper. Place bananas on the cookie sheet in the freezer, keep them in there as long as possible, at least 10 minutes. Heat chocolate bits with butter in a double boiler over low heat until the chocolate melts and butter is incorporated. Dip the chilled bananas in chocolate and roll with your favorite topping. Chill or freeze until ready to serve.
FRIDAY, JUNE 18, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:49 pm ••• FRIDAY, JUNE 25, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:51 pm ••• FRIDAY, JULY 2, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:51 pm
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1. Meni Kagan’s kippah color was changed from black to green. 2. The designs on Mendy Sufrin’s kippah are missing. 3. The sun glasses on Layla Fishman’s shirt were changed from red to blue. 4. Little Horowitz girl sitting in the back is missing. 5. The logos on the girl shirt standing in the back are missing. 6. The bugaboo stroller in the back is missing. 7. One of the stripes on Shmulie Sufrin’s teshirt is missing. 8. Leah Burstons top has been changed from orange to blue. 9. One of the little girls in the middle is missing a red hair bow. 10.
qq qq qq qq qq CHANGES KEEP SCORE
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YOUNG CHEVRA SHABBATON Over 300 Men, Woman, & Children participated in the 3rd annual Shabbaton in Running SPrings, CA.
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WORKSHOPS/CLASSES
Parenting With Wisdom What do I do when my child (fill in your least acceptable behavior)? Take the best parenting class in town to learn how to deal with misbehavior, discouragement and poor school performance. In addition, acquire all the skills necessary to raise confident, independent, and responsible children. Appropriate for ages 0-5, 6-11, and teens. Individual or group sessions. Affordable. Call Irine Schweitzer, LCSW for more information, www.parentingbyirine.com
A Time f o r Dance JOIN THE FUN THIS SUMMER! come join the fun!! Offering Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Gymnastics, Modern, Kickboxing, Acting, Singing and more! Girls and Women. All levels available. 3 convenient locations. Beverly / Labrea, Pico/Robertson and North Hollywood (323) 404-0827 www. atime4dance.com -
@ 818 754-4501. -1548-
GUITAR INSTRUCTION Private Lessons or small Group (323)934-2448. Learn the Univeral Language of Music with a Jewish Accent!
Home: 323.934.9329 Cell: 323.896.5098 www.expertmohel.com
WORKSHOPS/CLASSES
CAREER TRAINING PROGRAMS Are you Unemployed and collecting Unemployment Benefits? FULL Financial Aid is available to unemployed individuals. Receive career training at NO COST to YOU. These funds are available through President Obama’s Economic Stimulus Package. Act now while funds are available. Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute has several Nationally Accredited Career Training Programs. Please call 323-966-5444. Ask for Flora or Jesse. -784www.LAORT.edu
Community Links for all your Graphic Design needs! 323.956.1544 BE INFORMED Sign up today to receive the Community Links, Community Alerts, & Community exclusive updates directly to your inbox. Send your email information to
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CLASSIFIEDS NEW DAILY MINYAN
REAL ESTATE
REAL ESTATE
Chabad Sola. Mon - Fri, at 8.30AM. 1627 S La Cienega Blvd, opposite Cheder Menachem. If you are interested and could commit to be part of this new Minyan please contact R Menashe at 646 258 6881 or at menashe.borbely@gmail.com.
FOR RENT IN ISRAEL
Jewish Tehachapi Torah Center(ed Community): Suited for families, individuals, and existing Torah org a n i z a t i o n s . H e a l t h y, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly. Relax, Recharge, Learn. Vacation or Year Round. Advise interest now for: Summer Camp, Torah Retreats, Regular Minyan.. Join Rabbi Hershy's Open Yeshiva on the 13 Principles of Faith Sundays 11AM. 'Twice the House for Half the Money' Priced from: House - $130,000. Co-Op - $65,000. Lot $30,000. Lease: House $800, Apartment $600, Room $400. Contact Roger M.: kernkehilla@att.net 310948-5137.
REAL ESTATE
Beverly Hills Adjacent Home for Sale 5 Bedroom 3.5 Bath Luxury Home, Marble floors, Lrg Luxury Granite Kitchen, huge living/dining room w/vaulted ceilings, Wet Bar, 2 Master S u i t e s , Jacuzzi, Laundry, Sauna, basketball court. Lots of Built-ins.
Call Daniel @ (310) 925 - 9972 FOR SALE
Bev/La Brea - 4bd, Pool Guest Apt. Kosher Kit. OPEN HSE 6/20 2-5pm www.Love-ThisHome.com Free Recorded Info: 800-417-7489 ID#8001 Miller Real Estate 310.210.3038
BNEI BRAKISRAEL 4 BR. 2 1/2 bath big living room. dining area. private home. close to shuls and shops. $3000.
516-770-3456 CHILD CARE / ADULT DAY CARE: PRIME SPACE AVAILABLE
Chabad of Beverlywood located at 1952 S Robertson Blvd has space available for rent during the week. Prime location suitable for a daycare or senior programs. The yard includes modern child play equipment (climbing structure, slides) and swings. 7,500 sq. ft. play yard. 10,000 sq. ft. indoor space. (Rent all or part). rabbidov@chabad.com FOR RENT
One bedroom for rent with private bathroom, separate entrance, laundry and kosher kitchen available. Utilities included. Month to month contract with month security. References please. Call David at Home: 323-934-4826. Cell: 323-687-4154
ARCHITECT
ARCHITECT
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June 25, 2010 Circulation
July 2, 2010 Please call
323.965.1544 or email us at
info@communitylinks.info
http://www.pearlmancta.co m/TehachapiJewish.htm
EMPLOYMENT DISTRIBUTOR WANTED A SEROIUS DISTRIBUTOR NEEDED FOR NEW OMEGA3, MADE FROM PLANT, GET REAL HEALTH CHANGES; EXCEMA, ACNE, BRAIN FUNCTION AND MORE 347-622-0513
JOB OPPORTUNITY SALES PERSON WANTED
Excellent Opportunity for highly motivated sales person to work for growing business. Create your own hours. Work from home. For further information please email us at info@community links.info Ref #1980
BABYSITTER AVAILABLE
DRE Lic. #963418
FOR RENT Master bedroom with private restroom & entrance. Female applicants only. Contact Sarah @ 310409-3327 or Rachel:
Next Advertising Deadline
Lawrence Woodcraft, AIA New Homes Additions & Remodels Guest Houses HPOZ Approvals Free Initial Consultations
818-701-7752 License # C23651 www.woodcraftarchitecture.com
Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part-time hours, at your location. Excellent references. 323-651-9389
BOOKKEEPING
For all your bookkeeping needs
POSITION WANTED
A young, organized, reliable woman looking for a teaching position in elementry schools. Has experience working with kids. Knows to speak hebrew and english. 310-497-483 • 323-965-1544 •
Raizy Grossman 310-279-2139 info@communitylinks.info
Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544 MEAT Afshan Restaurant RCC 106 W. 9th St. LA, (213) 622-1010 Bocca Steakhouse RCC 16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436 (818) 905-5855 Café Del Mar Meat Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171 Chic N Chow Kehila 9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-5595 Chinese and Kabob Kehila 9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-4007 Circa RCC 433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036 323-653-1941 Cohen’s Restaurant RCC 316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015 (213) 742-8888 Delice Bistro Kehila 8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-1702 Elat Burger Ben Zaken 9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 278-4692 Elite Cuisine RCC 7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303 Bukstan Falafel Express 5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 9135 (818) 345-5660
Falafel Grill Chabad 5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301 (818) 991-8799 Glatt Hut RCC 9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 246-1900 Golan RCC 13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606 (818) 763-5344 Got Kosher? RCC 8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 858-1920 Habayit Bukstan 11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064 (310) 479-5444
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DINING GUIDE
Haifa Ben Zaken 8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 888-7700
Temptation Grill Kehila 17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316 (818) 995-4700
Milk N Honey RCC 8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035 (310) 858-8850
Jeffs Gourmet Kehila 8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-8590
The Meating Place KCA 30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301 (818) 706-1255
Milky Way Kehila 9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 859-0004
Kosher Chicks RCC 186081/2Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, 91356 (818) 343-8800
Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery 3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard (818) 752-6866
Nagilla Pizza Kehila 9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0111
La Gondola Kehila 9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211 (310) 247-1239
Smokin’ Rabbi Furst 12514 Burbank Boulevard, Valley Village, CA 91607 (805) 983-1560
La Glatt RCC 446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 658-7730
ou
Nana Cafe RCC 1509 S Robertson Blvd. (310) 407-0404 Pico Cafe Kehila 8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 310-385-9592
DAIRY
Mashu Mashu RCC 12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607 (818)752-ASIA (2742)
Beverly Cafe Elite RCC 7113 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90035 (323) 931-3563
Pizza Maven Kehila 140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036 (323) 857-0353
Metro Glatt RCC 8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420
Bibis Warmstone Kehila 8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 246-1788
Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel 30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301 (818) 991-3000
Nagilla Meating Place Kehila 9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0119
Bramis Pizza
(818) 342-0611
Pizza Station Kehila 8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 276-8708
Café Del Mar Dairy Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171
Pizza World Kehila 365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 653-2896
Circa RCC 8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles (310) 854-0592
Sassis Sushi Kehila 16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 783-2727
Delice Kehila 8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-6556
Shalom Pizza RCC 8715 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 271-2255
Orange Delight Kehila 13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423 (818) 788-9896 Pats Kehila 9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 205-8705 Pico Kosher Deli RCC 8826 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 273-9381 Pita Way RCC 8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 652-5236 Sassis Kehila 15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 986-5345 Shanghai Kehila 9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 553-0998 Shilohs Kehila 8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-1652 Subway Kehila 8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-1222 Sunrise RCC 9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 786-8282
RCC
17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326
Fish Grill Kehila 7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 937-7162 12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025 (310) 479-1800 9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 860-1182 22935 Pacific Coast Highway (310) 456-8585 Jerusalem Pizza Kehila 17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316
(818) 758-9595 La Brea Bagel Kehilla 7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 965-1287 La Pizza Rabbi Furst 12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 760-8198
• 323-965-1544 •
PAREVE Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin 18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana (818) 757-3100
Fish In The Village RCC 12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 769-0085 Le Sushi 12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600 SushiKo RCC 9340 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-3474
info@communitylinks.info
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• 323-965-1544 •
info@communitylinks.info