Community Links Issue 196

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December 16-December 30, 2011

Vol. 8 Issue 196

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Features

December 16, 2011

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Our Children Deserve Better

There are things which can be done for our children. There are things actually being done by many to help and protect our children.

THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published biweekly and is distributed free to the Jewish Community of Southern California.

THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts no responsibility for typographical errors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may be shortened and/or edited for length and clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express the views of the individual writers and may not necessarily represent the views of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without the written permission of the publisher.

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Examining it further, I was extremely surprised to see that the candle holders were the shells of M14 rifles.

Rabbi Eli Hechty

Dr. Robert Rome

20

Turning Guns Into Menorahs

The dog tag dilema

Oh Baby

38

'You still think I'm a baby!' she sobbed. 'I am almost eighteen already, and all you do is call me your baby! Won't I ever be a grown-up in your eyes?'

Dog tags. When you get right down to it, the military’s dog tag classification forced me to reclaim my Judaism.

Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky

By Doron Kornbluth

COMMUNITY LINKS • Volume 8 Issue 196 4 December 16-December 30, 2011

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Our Children Deserve Better Robert J. Rome, Ph.D

I

n my psychological practice, I see a lot of things, good and bad. I witness many successes within our Jewish schools as students get accepted to prestigious colleges upon graduation while others successfully achieve Smichah (rabbinic ordination) and other honors. I see youth sports leagues and successful youth programs and camps. Unfortunately, however, I have been seeing a lot of bad things lately impacting children in the Orthodox Jewish community. Our children and families really deserve better.

I am concerned about the behavior, or frequent lack of appropriate behavior, in many of our schools. In my work as a psychologist in the community, I observe children at many schools. In the course of a year, I visit close to 20 schools, three to four of them typically are Jewish day schools or yeshivas. When I visit a public school or a secular private school, even in ghetto areas, I see very well behaved classrooms. Students in public elementary schools walk orderly to recess in formation along a line painted on the corridor/walkway. The scene is often much different in Jewish schools. I remember one of my recent visits to a Yeshiva where about 25 boys were gathered among the lockers in the hallway at recess and two of the boys were actually fighting, beating up each other. The others were cheering them on.

These boys never even got to the recess yard. In the public school, an on-staff person is always nearby. I saw no teacher 8 December 16-December 30, 2011

or staff member in the vicinity of the 25 boys fighting and cheering in the hallway of the yeshiva. In classrooms I have visited in Jewish day schools, I most often see one or two kids acting virtually out of control with hyperactive and similar behaviors. Classes often look, and actually are, out of control. Other children with identified learning disabilities are asked to leave the school as there are often no resources to serve their needs.

Bullying activity is common. Horrendous language is used. Jewish day schools are often out of control. Our children deserve better.

There are many talented individuals who teach our children. But where teachers in public and secular private schools have teaching credentials, including proper training and experience before being hired, we often find teachers in our Jewish schools who lack even a degree, let alone a credential. Their “student” teaching is often done after they have been hired to be a full-time teacher in our schools. And who is guiding the uncredentialed teachers? Principals who lack administrative credentials. Few have been properly trained in how to discipline or encourage good behavior. Teachers and administrators may have very good intentions, but they often lack the training and skills to accomplish their tasks. Our children deserve better.

Traditional Jewish parents are often fearful of licensed psychologists and other certified professionals who may work with children as they are afraid that non-religious professionals will oppose sending children to Jewish schools or will encourage inappropriate, non-traditional behaviors and activities. They fear that our children may be influenced by individuals who do not share the same values or may even be opposed to religion and traditions. When their children are identified as having problems, they will often take them to unlicensed individuals who may like children very much, but who lack professional training, credentials, or appropriate licenses. The person may be a rabbi with a long beard, but not a board certified behaviorist or a licensed psychologist or therapist. The young tutors employed lack the formal qualifications of a certified educational therapist. They may be very well intentioned and even pretty good. But they lack the training to handle difficult circumstances and special needs.

And unlike a licensed individual, the families have no recourse if the treating individuals are less than professional. There

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are no ethical requirements and no required confidentiality.

There are no standards or qualifications. Most often, while the parents have paid thousands of dollars, often more per hour than would have been required for a licensed professional who may take clients on the basis of a sliding scale, the problems remain unresolved after dozens, or even hundreds of sessions.

Not being trained in community resources, the children are seldom referred by these unlicensed individuals to free services and supports which may be provided in the community through regional centers, county programs, or schools or other public agencies. Not only do they not refer to community resources, when a child has a serious specialized problem, they don’t even have the training to recognize the severe need, let alone refer to specialists in the community. Children only become more and more frustrated. Our children deserve better.

There are things which can be done for our children. There are things actually being done by many to help and protect our children.

As you may know, California, unlike other states, does not provide special education services to any child not attending public school, with one exception. Students can receive a thorough evaluation through the school district, for free, to assess for learning and other special concerns. Knowing that many families in the Orthodox Jewish community are reluctant to enter public schools, even for a free evaluation, several yeshivas and Jewish day schools have arranged for school district school psychologists to do evaluations of students within the yeshiva by well trained credentialed school psychologists who are well acquainted with the special concerns of the Jewish community.

A couple of these school psychologists are actually Orthodox Jews themselves who currently send or have sent in the past their own children to Jewish schools. These services can be arranged through day school principals. The free assessments can be an important first step to gaining for the child identification of the specific needs experienced and facilitating appropriate services and resources to help the child.

We should move toward having more of our teachers and school administrators appropriately credentialed. Loyola University of Chicago (very interestingly a Catholic school) has an established program to help Jewish educators gain advanced training and credentials. The Loyola program includes studying over a couple of summers, coupled with some supplemental studies during the school year. Other programs also exist which can elevate the skills of our teachers. We need to encourage, and even subsidize as a community such studies. We need to establish that we want only fully trained teachers working with our children. Imagine if we couple the love of teaching and Judaism that many of our teachers show with sound educational theory, practice, and training!

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We need zero tolerance in our schools, our synagogue programs, and our summer camps of those who have abused children or who are likely to abuse our children in the future. Like other child-serving groups and organizations, we need to have background checks and fingerprinting of any adults who may work with our children. In keeping with the law, we must report suspected child abuse and not seek to protect offending rabbis and teachers by rallying as a community to protect these “scholars” while often enabling the harming of other children.

There are things we can implement in the community to further protect and serve the needs of our children.

Seeing the need to prepare more Orthodox Jews for licensed professions to work with and assist our children and families, Touro University Worldwide has instituted a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy program which can be completed online, providing all of the education to qualify for the therapy experience leading to a license in Marriage and Family Therapy.

While students will still have to complete the required supervised clinical experience in the community to gain licensure, the Touro program enables all of the required course work.

Sensitive to traditional sensitivities, the school calendar is based around the Jewish calendar with no required class sessions on Jewish holidays and no work required on the Sabbath. Students can complete the advanced studies from the safety of

their own living rooms. Students do not have to violate their Jewish observance and values to gain an accredited, recognized degree. There are some other exciting programs and options at other universities for those seeking to work with our children and families. As a community, we can gain more trained and licensed individuals to do effective work with our children.

This is indeed what our children and families deserve.

There are other exciting and innovative programs either recently created or in the process of creation which will enhance our schools and programs, our children and our families.

While problems still remain, things are looking up.

The first step is often the recognition of the problem. We need to establish goals relating to what we want from our schools and teachers. We need to establish, and enforce, a high degree of standards. We should strive for the best, and not just settle for the minimum.

Also, we owe a debt of gratitude to those who are working so hard every day in the best interests of our children and community. With their hard work and help, the future looks bright.

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California.

He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.

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Chanukah Observances Latkes, Donuts, Dreidels & More Oil & Cheese Chanukah commemorates an oil-based miracle—which explains why we eat oily foods to commemorate it. Some eat fried potato pancakes, a.k.a. latkes, while others eat sufganiyot—deep-fried doughnuts. Some eat both. Most survive the holiday.

Yes, food can be dangerous. One of the greatest Maccabee victories was the result of feeding the enemy cheese—so we also eat dairy foods on Chanukah.

Chanukah Gelt During Chanukah it is customary to give gelt (money) to children, so that we can teach them to give some of it to charity—and just to keep things festive and happy.

Some have the admirable custom of gelt-giving each weeknight of Chanukah.

The Prayers Each day of Chanukah we thank G‑d by reciting the complete Hallel in the morning prayer service. We also insert a special prayer of thanksgiving, V’al Hanissim, in the prayers and Grace after Meals. Every morning we read from the Torah about the inauguration offerings brought in honor of the dedication of the Tabernacle reminiscent of the Maccabean rededication of the defiled Temple.

Shabbat Chanukah

Dreidel The Greek oppressors outlawed Torah schools, so the children would study in the forests, posting a sentry to alert them of Greek patrols. When the alert came, the children would hide their texts and start playing with dreidels (spinning tops).

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We, too, play dreidel games on Chanukah to commemorate the courage of these heroic children. The four Hebrew letters on the dreidel are an acronym for “Nes Gadol Hayah Sham”—a great miracle happened there. So playing dreidel keeps us mindful of the Chanukah miracles even during fun and games.

On Friday afternoon, light the menorah before lighting the Shabbat candles. The Friday night Chanukah candles must burn for at least 1½ hours—so you may need more oil or larger candles. On Saturday night, light the menorah after dark, after the Havdalah ceremony.

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ously feels that that term should be reserved for children younger than teens. And so the Medrash asks, is it fitting to label a 17year-old a Na'ar? It teaches us that at that age Yoseph acted immaturely; dressing his hair and adorning his eyes to look handsome.

(Ramban feels that the term na'ar would apply, as he was youngest of all the brothers except for Benjamin, a mere child at the time.)

The Sfas Emes asks a powerful question. If the term na'ar is out of place for anyone even approaching his late teens then an earlier verse surely needs clarification.

OH BABY!

Baby. In the sixties it was a term of poetic affection meted to any living organism that a particular party was interested in. In the school yard, its chant -- and a directive to stick its head in a sauce usually reserved for a roast -- is a verbal taunt usually invoked by one of two immature sparring partners.

Parshas Vayeishev

But when the Torah refers to someone as a child or a na'ar it is taken very seriously. Often it raises a flag. It is reason to analyze and deduce. The word na'ar is often translated a child.

It is hardly used for an infant and rarely for a mature adolescent. But when applied in those circumstances, the commentaries note its usage, and they comment.

In fact, when infant Moshe is found in a reed basket floating on the Nile, the Torah tells us that the daughter of Pharaoh heard a na'ar crying. (Exodus 2:6). Rashi comments on the apparent anomaly. After all the word na'ar is not used for an infant. He explains by quoting Midrashic sources that Moshe had a voice like a mature lad.

This week, the term na'ar is also used, and on the surface it is not complimentary. "Yoseph was 17-years-old and was a shepherd with his brothers by the flock, but he was a na'ar with the children of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives.”

Again the expression na'ar raises a flag. The Medrash obvi20 D e c e m b e r 1 6 - D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

In Parshas Vayeirah Avraham travels for three days together with his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael, and his servant Eliezer, pursuing Hashem's command to bring his son as an offering on Mount Moriah. As he finally sees the mountain, he knows it is time to conclude the journey alone with only Yitzchak.

So Avraham tells Yishmael and Eliezer, "remain here with the donkey, and I and the na'ar will go yonder." (Genesis 22:5).

Yitzchak was 37-years old at the time, yet not one commentator is troubled that his father calls him a baby! Why? A man once approached my grandfather, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky, of blessed memory, quite distraught.

"I know this may not sound like a major problem," he began, "but my 17-year-old daughter is very upset with me.

It has come to a point that she hardly talks to me. It began a few nights ago. My wife and I were with a number of old friends at a wedding when my daughter walked by. I introduced her to them by saying, 'This is my baby.'

"I could see that at the moment she became very upset. Moments later she pulled me to aside and was crying. 'You still think I'm a baby!' she sobbed. 'I am almost eighteen already, and all you do is call me your baby! Won't I ever be a grownup in your eyes?' Ever since then she doesn't want to talk to me."

The man shrugged as he pleaded with the sage. "I really don't want to make this into a major issue, but I'm not sure how to resolve this. Perhaps the Rosh Yeshiva can guide me."

Reb Yaakov put his hand on the man's shoulder. "You live

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At the time Reb Yaakov was staying at his youngest son, Reb Avraham's home, and he invited the man to visit him there together with his daughter. He assured him that he would not discuss the incident but was confident that by the time the visit was over the matter would be resolved."

The next day the man and his daughter visited Reb Yaakov at Reb Avraham's home. Reb Yaakov invited the man and his daughter into the dining room where they discussed a variety of issues from school work to life in pre-war Europe everything but the incident at the wedding.

About 10 minutes into the conversation, my uncle, Reb Avraham, came down the stairs. Reb Yaakov looked over to him and invited him to join the conversation. But first he introduced Reb Avraham to his guests.

"This is my baby!" exclaimed the revered sage as he gave a warm hug to his 55-year-old son.

Needless to say, the impact on the 17-year-old girl changed her perspective on her father's comments. Fifteen minutes later they left the house with a renewed and invigorated relationship!

The Sfas Emes answers his question very simply. When the Torah in a narrative describes someone as a na'ar it is a flag for concern. It needs explanation, whether complimentary or

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otherwise. But when a father calls a child his na'ar there is no need to explain. It is simple and more than acceptable. And Hashem Himself refers to his children that way. "When Israel was a na'ar and I loved him, and since Egypt I have called him my child" (Hosea 10). • Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

www.torah.org

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TURNING GUNS INTO MENORAHS Activists from all over the city came to the funeral speaking on behalf of the family and demanding an investigation. However, after all the noise died down, the murderer was never apprehended.

I

t was years ago that a small band of Jews ousted the Assyrian Greek regime in Israel. When the Jews entered Jerusalem they wished to rekindle the temple's candelabra called the menorah. When the Jewish fighters cleared the temple of idols and dirt, they discovered only a small amount of pure oil, enough for a day. Miraculously, it burned continuously for eight days. Therefore, Chanukah is called "the festival of lights" commemorating the lights of the menorah I remember, some 40 years ago, living in a quiet, beautiful area of Brooklyn. Holdups, robberies and rape were nonexistent. Burglaries were rare, but, one year that came to an end. It happened around Chanukah.

A teenage cousin escaped from Europe during World War II and joined the United States Navy. He convinced the Navy recruiter of his willingness and readiness to fight the enemy. "Hitler wasn't only the enemy of the Jews; he was the enemy of all democracy," he stated.

After the war he manufactured buckles for belts used by the Armed Forces. His favorite joke was, "Without me, men can't go to war; their pants would fall down."

One of his sons decided to become involved in Jewish causes. At night he worked in a drugstore, helping the pharmacist with deliveries and general upkeep.

Late one night a hoodlum came into the shop demanding some drugs. Before the pharmacist could get him the drugs, the hoodlum panicked and shot my cousin's son in cold blood. The police in the area were completely dumbfounded; a senseless killing in their lily-white area; a place where no crime ever took place. The neighbors were incensed. Imagine, someone coming into their quiet neighborhood and blowing away a young boy in his prime.

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I thought the family would never recover from this tremendous loss. Years passed before I saw my cousin again. He was continuously working on mass production of ammunition for rifles, semi-automatic guns and other weapons of destruction. After the senseless death of his child, his work was not rewarding and new avenues had to be explored. I wondered what he would be doing and how he coped with his immense grief.

On a recent shopping trip to New York I came across all kinds of menorahs. Some were made of silver; others were ceramic and others were made out of tin. Suddenly I saw a menorah I had never seen before. It was a wide piece of metal on a unique stand with a place for the eight candles. Taking a closer look at this menorah, I was struck with the mere fact that the candle holders were not made from the usual material. They were made from heavy brass. Examining it further, I was extremely surprised to see that the candle holders were the shells of M14 rifles.

The base of the menorah was one of those antiaircraft shells that are used to pierce armor. Here, finally, was a menorah made from objects of weaponry transformed into an object of harmony and hope. I wondered, who could have produced such a menorah? I was very determined to buy it, but it was not for sale. This menorah was to be a lesson for the gun dealers and the gang members.

The very same machinery that produced weapons was now producing candle holders and menorahs, bringing light and happiness to the world.

This menorah was created by my cousin. The father of the murdered boy!

If only we knew how to change guns into menorahs, what a miraculous and bright Chanukah we would all have.

Rabbi Eli Hecht, Chabad of South Bay, Vice President, Rabbinical Alliance of America (310) 326-8234 (310) 326-1555, E-mail rabbieh@aol.com

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What A Pity!

Parshas Mikeitz

t was not an easy decision, but the brothers felt that they came to it in an honest and fair manner. Yosef was a rebel and had no place in the family. Death was not the final answer, as the brothers decided that his rebellion against them was not worthy of capitol punishment just permanent banishment from their ranks.

And so he was sold as a slave. Hashem, however, had different plans. Years later, it was they who were on the hot seat sitting before a disguised Yosef, viceroy of Egypt, who accused them all of spying..

"The only way I will believe you is if you bring your youngest brother Benjamin here to me.” Then he imprisoned Shimon as a hostage. At that point, the brothers realized that this ludicrous accusation was more than a mortal vagary.

It must be Divine retribution. "But we are guilty concerning our brother, when we saw his his soulful anguish as he pleaded to us, and we did not listen; that is why this anguish comes upon us" (Genesis 42:21).

chicken came running to her Rav one Friday morning. "Rebbe," she cried "for the last two weeks I saved enough money to buy this chicken which I just had slaughtered this morning in honor of the Shabbos. After it was slaughtered, the shochet looked at it and said that there is a problem with it. Is it kosher?"

The Rav looked at the chicken and frowned; according to the opinion of the Shach, one of the most prominent commentaries of the Shulchan Oruch, the chicken was not kosher. However, the Rav looked up at the tear-stricken face of the widow and looked again very carefully at the chicken. He remembered that there were some opinions of other, not-so-famous authorities which ruled more leniently.

Reuven, the eldest of the brothers, admonishes them by adding a seemingly redundant statement. "Did I not speak to you saying, 'do not sin against the boy! But you did not listen, and now his blood as well behold is being avenged!" (Genesis 42:22). What is the meaning of this regretful enunciation? Didn't the brothers say the same thing? What did the brothers regret, and what did Reuven add?

The story is told that a poor widow holding a

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The Rav decided to employ the more lenient ruling and told the woman that the chicken was kosher.

"Go home and enjoy it with your family!" The woman left the Rabbi, tears of joy streaming down her face.

Later, the Rav told his students, "When I come to heaven, I am not afraid to face the wrath of the Shach, against whom I employed a leniency. I am afraid, however, to face the wrath of the old widow whom I would have ruled against and forced her family to go hungry."

Many commentators explain that even the terrible misfortune that transpired to Yosef's brothers did not inspire the brothers to regret the actual sale. They felt that the sale of Yosef, approved by the brothers as a Bais Din, was within the parameters of justice.

But the misfortune and false accusations did cause them to realize that there was one ingredient in the trans-

action and in their sentence that was missing. And that was compassion. They meted justice but did not respond to the soulful anguish as Yosef pleaded to save his soul.

Reuven, on the other hand, felt that the entire sale in itself was misguided and thus chided his brothers on it.

On that the brothers felt they were justified. When Yaakov is told the story of the accusatory ruler, he blesses his sons that when they return to the viceroy, "may Almighty G-d grant you mercy before the man that he may return your other brother (Shimon) as well as Binyomin" (Genesis 43:14).

Yaakov understood quite well that compassion may change a verdict of the harshest order. And the brothers, regretting their indifference, now understood the same.

Often, when faced with the challenge of justice, we do what is technically correct. The question we must ask ourselves is where do we stand when our brother pleads?

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky www.torah.org

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z /ŜĨĂŜƚ Ä‚ĆŒÄž - ĎŻ ƚŽ Ď­Ď´ žŽŜƚŚĆ? z EĆľĆŒĆ?ÄžĆŒÇ‡ÍśĎŻ zÄžÄ‚ĆŒĆ? z >Ĺ˝Ć? ĹśĹ?ĞůĞĆ? hĹśĹ?Ç€ÄžĆŒĆ?Ä‚ĹŻ WĆŒÄžĆ?Ä?ŚŽŽů͜ϰ ƚŽ Ďą Ç‡ÄžÄ‚ĆŒĆ? z &ƾůů Ĺ˝ĆŒ ,ĂůĨ ĂLJ z džƚĞŜĚĞĚ Ä‚ĆŒÄž ǀĂĹ?ĹŻÄ‚Ä?ĹŻÄž &Ĺ˝ĆŒ Ä¨ĆľĆŒĆšĹšÄžĆŒ Ĺ?ĹśÄ¨Ĺ˝ĆŒĹľÄ‚Ć&#x;ŽŜ Ĺ˝ĆŒ ƚŽ Ć?Ä?ŚĞĚƾůĞ Ä‚Ĺś ĂƉƉŽĹ?ŜƚžĞŜƚ ƚŽ Ç€Ĺ?Ć?Ĺ?Ćš ƚŚĞ Ć?Ä?ŚŽŽů͕ ƉůĞĂĆ?Äž Ä?Ä‚ĹŻĹŻ DÄ‚ĆŒÄ?LJ ^Ć&#x;ÄžĹ?ĹŻĹ?ĆšÇŒ Ä‚Ćš ͞ϯϭϏͿ ϯώϲ-ϳώώϰ Ç†ĆšÍ˜ ĎŻĎ° KÇ€ÄžĆŒ ĎŻĎŹ Ç‡ÄžÄ‚ĆŒĆ? Ć?ÄžĆŒÇ€Ĺ?ĹśĹ? Ĺ˝ĆľĆŒ ÄšĹ?Ç€ÄžĆŒĆ?Äž ĹŻĹ˝Ä?Ä‚ĹŻ ^ŽƾƚŚ ĂLJ ŽžžƾŜĹ?ƚLJ͕ Ç Äž ĆšĆŒĆľĹŻÇ‡ ŚĂǀĞ Ć?ŽžĞƚŚĹ?ĹśĹ? Ä¨Ĺ˝ĆŒ ÄžÇ€ÄžĆŒÇ‡Ĺ˝ĹśÄžÍ˜ ŽžĞ ĎŜĚ Ä‚ Ć?ĞŜĆ?Äž ŽĨ žĞĂŜĹ?ĹśĹ?Í• ÄšĹ?ĆŒÄžÄ?Ć&#x;ŽŜ ĂŜĚ Ä?ŽŜŜĞÄ?Ć&#x;ŽŜ Ç Ĺ?ƚŚ ĆľĆ?ÍŠ Ĺś Ä‚ÄŤĹ˝ĆŒÄšÄ‚Ä?ĹŻÄž :ÄžÇ Ĺ?Ć?Ĺš Ä?ŽžžƾŜĹ?ƚLJ ĎŽĎą ĹľĹ?ĹŻÄžĆ? Ć?ŽƾƚŚ ŽĨ >Ĺ˝Ć? ĹśĹ?ĞůĞĆ? Ç Ĺ?ƚŚ Ä‚ Ć?Śƾů͕ Ć?Ä?ŚŽŽů͕ ĹľĹ?ŏǀĂŚ͕ ĂĚƾůƚ ĞĚƾÄ?Ä‚Ć&#x;ŽŜ ĂŜĚ Ä‚ Ä?ĆľĆ? Ć?ÄžĆŒÇ€Ĺ?Ä?Äž ƚŽ >Ĺ˝Ć? ĹśĹ?ĞůĞĆ? Ć?Ä?ŚŽŽůĆ?͘ Ä‚ĹŻĹŻ ͞ϯϭϏͿ ϯώϲ-Ď´ĎŽĎŻĎ° Ä¨Ĺ˝ĆŒ ĹľĹ˝ĆŒÄž Ĺ?ĹśÄ¨Ĺ˝ĆŒĹľÄ‚Ć&#x;Ĺ˝ĹśÍ˜ ĎŽĎ°Ď°Ď­ĎŽ EÄ‚ĆŒÄ?ŽŜŜĞ ǀĞŜƾĞ͕ >ŽžĹ?ƚĂ͕ ϾϏϳϭϳ z Ç Ç Ç Í˜Ä?ŚĂÄ?Ä‚ÄšĆ?Ä?Í˜Ĺ˝ĆŒĹ?

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Do you know what a Protestant B is? I know what a Protestant is, and I know what a Catholic is, and I know what a Jew is . . . but until recently, I had never heard of a Protestant B. I learned what a Protestant B is from an essay by Debra Darvick that appeared in an issue of Hadassah Magazine. It is a chapter from a book she is working on about the American Jewish experience. And this essay is about the experience of retired Army Major Mike Neulander, who now lives in Newport News, Virginia, and who is now a Judaic silversmith. This is his story.

Dog tags. When you get right down to it, the military’s dog tag classification forced me to reclaim my Judaism.

In the fall of 1990, things were heating up in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. I had been an Army captain and a helicopter maintenance test pilot for a decade, and received notice that I would be transferred to the First Cavalry Division, which was on alert for the Persian Gulf War. Consequently, I also got wind of the Department of Defense “dog tag dilemma” vis-à-vis Jewish personnel. Then as now, Jews were forbidden by Saudi law to enter the country. But our Secretary of Defense flat-out told the king of Saudi Arabia, “We have Jews in our military.

They’ve trained with their units and they’re going. Blink and look the other way.”

classifying Jews as Protestant-anything, and so I decided to leave my dog tag alone. I figured if I were captured, it was in G-d’s hands. Changing my tags was tantamount to denying my religion, and I couldn’t swallow that.

In September 1990 I went off to defend a country that I was prohibited from entering. The “Jewish” on my dog tag remained as clear and unmistakable as the American star on the hood of every Army truck.

A few days after my arrival, the Baptist chaplain approached me. “I just got a secret message through channels,” he said. “There’s going to be a Jewish gathering. A holiday? Simkatoro or something like that. You want to go? It’s at 1800 hours at Dhahran Airbase.”

Simkatoro turned out to be Simchat Torah, a holiday that hadn’t registered on my religious radar in eons. Services were held in absolute secrecy in a windowless room in a cinder block building. The chaplain led a swift and

simple service. We couldn’t risk singing or dancing, but Rabbi Ben Romer had managed to smuggle in a bottle of Manischewitz. Normally I can’t stand the stuff, but that night, the wine tasted of Shabbat and family and Seders of long ago. My soul was warmed by the forbidden alcohol and by the memories swirling around me and my fellow soldiers. We were strangers to one another in a land stranger than any of us had ever experienced, but for that brief hour, we were home.

Only Americans would have had the chutzpah to celebrate Simchat Torah under the noses of the Saudis.

Irony and pride twisted together inside me like barbed wire. Celebrating my Judaism that evening made me even prouder to be an American, thankful once more for the freedoms we have. I had only been in Saudi Arabia a week, but I already had a keen understanding of how restrictive its society was.

Soon after, things began coming to a head. The next time I was able to do

With Kuwait occupied and the Iraqis at his border, King Fahd did the practical thing. We shipped out, but there was still the issue of classification. Normally the dog tags of Jewish servicemen are imprinted with the word “Jewish.” But Defense, fearing that this would put Jewish soldiers at further risk should they be captured on Iraqi soil, substituted the classification “Protestant B” on the tags. I didn’t like the whole idea of

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anything remotely Jewish was Chanukah. Maybe it was coincidence, or maybe it was G-d’s hand that placed a Jewish colonel in charge of our unit.

Colonel Lawrence Schneider relayed messages of Jewish gatherings to us immediately. Had a non-Jew been in that position, the information would likely have taken a back seat to a more pressing issue. Like war. But it didn’t.

When notice of the Chanukah party was decoded, we knew about it at once.

The first thing we saw when we entered the tent was food, tons of it. Care packages from the States—cookies, latkes, sour cream and applesauce, and cans and cans of gefilte fish. The wind was blowing dry across the tent, but inside there was an incredible feeling of celebration. As Rabbi Romer talked about the theme of Chanukah and the ragtag bunch of Maccabee soldiers fighting Jewry’s oppressors thousands of years ago, it wasn’t hard to make the connection to what lay ahead of us.

There, in the middle of the desert, inside an olive green tent, we felt like we were the Maccabees. If we had to go down, we were going to go down fighting, as they did.

We blessed the candles, acknowledging the King of the Universe who

commanded us to kindle the Chanukah lights. We said the second prayer, praising G-d for the miracles He performed, in those days and now. And we sang the third blessing, the Shehecheyanu, thanking G-d for keeping us in life and for enabling us to reach this season.

We knew war was imminent. All week we had received reports of mass destruction, projections of the chemical weapons that were likely to be unleashed. Intelligence estimates put the first rounds of casualties at 12,500 soldiers. I heard those numbers and thought, “That’s my whole division!” I sat back in my chair, my gefilte fish cans at my feet. They were in the desert, about to go to war, singing songs of praise to G-d who had saved our ancestors in battle once before.

The feeling of unity was as pervasive as our apprehension, as real as the sand that found its way into everything from our socks to our toothbrushes. I felt more Jewish there on that lonely Saudi plain, our tanks and guns at the ready, than I had ever felt back home in synagogue.

That Chanukah in the desert solidified for me the urge to reconnect with my Judaism. I felt religion welling up

inside me. Any soldier will tell you that there are no atheists in foxholes, and I know that part of my feelings were tied to the looming war and my desire to get with G-d before the unknown descended in the clouds of battle. It sounds corny, but as we downed the latkes and cookies and wiped the last of the applesauce from our plates, everyone grew quiet, keenly aware of the link with history, thinking of what we were about to do and what had been done by soldiers like us so long ago.

The trooper beside me stared ahead at nothing in particular, absentmindedly fingering his dog tag. “How’d you classify?” I asked, nodding to my tag.

Silently, he withdrew the metal rectangle and its beaded chain from beneath his shirt and held it out for me to read.

Like mine, his read, “Jewish.”

Somewhere in a military depot someplace, I am sure that there must be boxes and boxes of dog tags, still in their wrappers, all marked “Protestant B.” Doron Kornbluth is the author of Raising Kids to LOVE Being Jewish and a popular international lecturer.

His popular free “Keeping our families Jewish” e-newsletter helps thousands of families keep our identity strong.

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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2011 Light Candles at: 4:28 pm ••• FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2011 Light Candles at: 4:31 pm ••• FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2011 Light Candles at: 4:35 pm

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Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Spoon the mixture into hot oil forming small pancakes. Cook until underside is golden, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip pancakes and cook until other side is golden and potatoes are cooked through, about 2 minutes more. Serve hot with sour cream or applesauce.

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1. Lipa’s name has been removed from his yarmulka. 2. The whole in the bass drum is missing. 3. The snare drum has changed colors. 4. The piano has an extra sheet of music.5. The guitar case from the back wall is missing. 6. Ceiling fan as an extra blade. 7. The window shade has been lowered. 8. There are black keys missing from the piano. 9. The man’s scarf has changed colors. 10. The plug on the wall is missing.

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Can you spot the differences in these two pictures?

DoubleTake

REASONS TO CONSIDER A LIFE SETTLEMENT • Policy has not performed as anticipated • Need for cash flow • Beneficiary is now deceased • Premiums too costly • A change in estate size • A desire to purchase a survivorship policy • Changes in Estate Tax laws

If you are over age 70, we can show you how your life insurance policy might pay off now, while you are alive and still here to enjoy it! What’s more, you may be able to sell your policy for considerably more than its cash surrender value.

Busines Changes: • Buy/Sell funding is no longer required • Business is sold • Changes in deferred compensation benefits • Bankruptcy proceedings

C A S E S T U DY INSURED: Type of Policy: Face Amount: Cash Surender Value: Offer price to policy owner: Reason:

81 year old male Universal Life $5,000,000 $0 $860,000 Premiums of in-force policy were expensive and becoming difficult to afford.

The insured no longer needed the policy and sold it for a sum worth approximately twice the policy’s cost basis.

C A S E S T U DY

For a free, no obligation consultation and policy appraisal, by phone or in person

A PROUD MEMBER OF

LIFE INSURANCE SETTLEMENT ASSOCIACTION

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CLASSIFIEDS BRIS - ,hrc Traditional Ritual Circumcision Rabbi Nachman B. Kreiman Certified Mohel vjnun kvun

Home: 323.934.9329 Cell: 323.896.5098

BANDS

MusicbyMendel.com WEDDINGS, BAR-MITZVAHS, SPECIAL OCCSIONS. CONTACT NOW FOR AVAILABILITY AND RATES

www.expertmohel.com

310-595-5490

#1751

MENDELS@GMAIL.COM

WORKSHOPS/CLASSES

BEAUTY

#1540

-1540-

Robin Schultz Ackerman

will help you eliminate unwanted hair! Doctor referred over 10 years in the community. Reasonable rates, Flexible hours open Sundays by appt.

Call anytime for an appt.

GIFTS A Perfect Setting Great gifts for all occasions- invited out for a Shabbos meal? Baby gifts...Bas Mitzvah g i f t s . . . We d d i n g gifts...House warming gifts...Don't put it off.

Come in today and go out relieved. Call for a special appointment

323-938-8222 or 323-620-3618 ask for Rochel -692-

DRESS MAKER

Wedding dresses Forsale & For Rent. Custom Designs, & Alterations, Sewing Classes Also Available.

Please Call 323-933-5960 or 323-348-8786

WORKSHOPS/CLASSES

-1438-

Parenting With Wisdom What do I do when my child (fill in your least acceptable behavior)?

Take the best parenting class in town to learn how to deal with misbehavior, discouragement and poor school performance. In addition, acquire all the skills necessary to raise confident, independent, and responsible children. Appropriate for ages 0-5, 6-11, and teens. Individual or group sessions. Affordable. Call Irine Schweitzer, LCSW for more information, www.parentingbyirine.com @ 818 754-4501. -1548-

Recession-Proof Careers Are you unemployed and collecting unemployment benefits?

In just 8 months we will train you in a recession-proof career, and help you find an exciting job in: Pharmacy Technician, Medical Assistant, Medical Office Management, Accounting, Administrative Assistant, Business Management, Computer Graphics, Computer Aided Design. LA ORT is Non-Profit organization.

Financial Aid, Scholarship and Transportation assistance are available. Call 323-966-5444 and ask for Flora. www.LAORT.edu

800.998.2678

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A Time for Dance A TIME FOR DANCt! Offering acting, singing, classical ballet, tap, gymnastics, jazz, hip hop, mommy and me and more!

Ages 2- adult. Convenient Pico/Robertson, Labrea and North Hollywood locations. Join the fun!!

(323) 404-0827

Advertising Deadline:

www.atime4dance.com

December 23, 2011 NOTARY TRAVELING NOTARY

Yosef Y. Shagalov:

Traveling Notary Public & Home Signing Agent.

Circulation Deadline: December 30 , 2011

Cell:(323)934-7095 email: yys770@aol.com

EMPLOYMENT LOOKING 4 MOMS Looking for moms that want to stayt home and raise their childrent and ear a significant family income. Full training and support provided. Please leave a message at 845-639-8392 BABYSITTER AVAILABLE

Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part-time hours, at your location. Excellent references. 323-651-9389

Please call

323.965.1544 or email us at info@communitylinks.info Facebook

www.facebook.com/communitylinksla

Twitter

http://twitter.com/#!/CommunityLinks

#1750

CAREER TRAINING Career Training Please see our ad on page 11 Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute.

800-998- 2678 • 323-965-1544 •

info@communitylinks.info

Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544

DINING GUIDE MEAT Afshan Restaurant RCC 106 W. 9th St. LA, (213) 622-1010 Bocca Steakhouse RCC 16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436 (818) 905-5855 Café Del Mar Meat Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171 Chic N Chow Kehila 9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-5595 Chinese and Kabob Kehila 9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-4007 Cohen’s Restaurant RCC 316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015 (213) 742-8888 Elat Burger Ben Zaken 9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 278-4692 Elite Cuisine RCC 7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303 Shawarma Express Kehila 5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 9135 (818) 342-2226 Glatt Hut RCC 9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 246-1900 Golan RCC 13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606 (818) 763-5344 Got Kosher? RCC 8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 858-1920 Habayit Bukspan 11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064 (310) 479-5444 Haifa Ben Zaken 8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 888-7700 Jeffs Gourmet Kehila 8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-8590 La Gondola Kehila 9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211 (310) 247-1239

La Glatt RCC 446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 658-7730

Beverly Cafe Elite RCC 7113 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90035 (323) 931-3563

La Seine 14 N. La Cienega Beverly Hills, CA 90211 310 358 0922

DAIRY Bibis Warmstone Kehila 8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 246-1788

Metro Glatt RCC 8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420

Bramis Pizza

Orange Delight Kehila 13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423 (818) 788-9896 Pats Kehila 9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 205-8705 Pico Kosher Deli RCC 8826 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 273-9381 Pita Way RCC 8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 652-5236 Sassis Kehila 15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 986-5345

(818) 342-0611 Café Del Mar Dairy Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171 Circa RCC 8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles (310) 854-0592 Delice Kehila 8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-6556 Fish Grill Kehila 7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 937-7162 12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025 (310) 479-1800 9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 860-1182 22935 Pacific Coast Highway (310) 456-8585

Schwartz Bakery and Deli RCC 433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036 (323)653-1941

Jerusalem Pizza Kehila

Shanghai Kehila 9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 553-0998

La Brea Bagel Kehilla 7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 965-1287

Shilohs Kehila 8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-1652

(818) 758-9595

Milk N Honey RCC 8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035 (310) 858-8850

Schnitzle Kehila 9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 786-8282

Pizza Maven Kehila 140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036 (323) 857-0353 Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel 30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301 (818) 991-3000 Pizza Station Kehila 8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 276-8708 Pizza World Kehila 365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 653-2896 Sassis Sushi Kehila 16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 783-2727 Shalom Pizza RCC 8715 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 271-2255 Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin 18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana (818) 757-3100

Fish In The Village RCC 12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 769-0085

Le Sushi RCC 12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600

PAREVE SushiKo RCC 9340 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-3474

Milky Way Kehila 9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 859-0004

The Meating Place KCA 30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301 (818) 706-1255 Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery 3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard (818) 752-6866

17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316

La Pizza Rabbi Furst 12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 760-8198

Subway Kehila 8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-1222

Pico Cafe Kehila 8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310)385-9592

RCC

17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326

Nagilla Meating Place Kehila 9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0119

Pacific Pizza RCC - Cholov Yisroel & Pas Yisroel 12460 Oxnard St. N. Hollywood (818) 760-0087

Nagilla Pizza Kehila 9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0111

ou

Nana Cafe RCC 1509 S Robertson Blvd.

(310) 407-0404

26 By Shilo’s Kehila 8657 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310)246-1326

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Spring semester begins January 30th Registration now in progress

For more information please call 323-822-9700 x 85155 or email tourola.admissions@touro.edu

1317 N. Crescent Heights Blvd., West Hollywood • 323.822.9700 www.touro.edu/losangeles • email: tourola.admission@touro.edu Touro College Los Angeles is accredited by the Accrediting Comission for Senior College and Universities of the Western Association of Schools and Colleges: 985 Atlantic Ave. #100, CA 94501; Tel. 510-748-9001. Touro College is an equal opportunity institution.