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Vol. 9 Issue 211
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6
12
The Long Game
My grandchildren have taught me never to leave the game until it is officially ended no matter how lopsided the score may appear at earlier on.
By Rabbi Berel Wein www.torah.org
26
Priorities and Price Tags
18
He wasn’t in conflict; he was at peace with himself, and as such, his body was healthier and able to live to a astonishingly advanced age. R’ Ben Tzion Shafier The Shmuz
Rightly has it been said, "the best thing you can spend on your kids is not money but time." Rabbi Yossy Goldman
The Voice Inside
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11
The Long Game By Rabbi Berel Wein
A
number of my grandchildren petitioned me to take them to a baseball game while I was in the New York area. The game was played at the new Yankee Stadium, a large and imposing structure if there ever was one. Since I am an incurable doting grandfather and baseball expert, I readily agreed to their request and we all went to the stadium to watch the game.
I have often felt that baseball has many life-like metaphoric qualities to it. It is a game of great skill and enormous frustration. An athlete that is successful only thirty percent of the time is considered to be a star in this game. It is a game of nuances and subtleties, of inches either way and of unexpected and unpredictable events that form no pattern. It is also a game that has no time limitation to it.
The actual game usually takes close to three hours to finish though it can be shorter and many times is considerably longer. Unlike other sports, this one does not operate under the tyranny of the clock. It has its own constantly changing rhythm and pace. It is a slow game with intermittent eruptions of excitement. The baseball season is a long one - at least twice as long as any of the other major professional sports. It is a sport that rewards individual excellence but demands team play. In all of 12
these qualities it certainly mimics life itself and, perhaps, that is its greatest appeal as a spectator sport.
The game I attended was not a particularly exciting or wellplayed one. But my grandchildren thoroughly enjoyed themselves so I was more than satisfied. A grandparent must always be able to show a lighter side of one's self to one's future generations. In our current world this is called bonding.
Though I was watching the game, my mind was wandering off to more weighty matters. The ability to sit through a long game in order to arrive at a final result is what lies at the heart of many issues in our personal and national lives. We crave instant decisions and immediate clarity. "Now" is the imperative word in many segments of our society.
My grandchildren have taught me never to leave the game until it is officially ended no matter how lopsided the score may appear at earlier on. The famous fable regarding the hare and the tortoise applies not only to baseball games but to all of life itself. King Solomon phrased it correctly when he wrote that the race is not always to the swift.
The current issues that plague the Jewish world could stand a longer view. The role of the Israeli Supreme Court in religious matters, if it should have any role at all, needs long term per-
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Life generally and Jewish life particularly is a very long game. Until the game is truly over, so to speak, we really cannot accurately assess winners and losers, wise policies and foolish decisions, hasty actions and truly measured responses. And since, like baseball, these issues have no known time constraints, it is obvious that we are in for a very long game. Since our life span is certainly limited and finite there is a natural tendency for humans to be in a hurry. We make all
sorts of grandiose plans and predictions - Five Year Plans and the like about a future of which we are completely ignorant. We forget that the law of unintended consequences is omnipresent in our lives, both personally and nationally. We are impatient for the game to end; having lost the childhood wonder at simply observing what is taking place before our eyes, no matter what the apparent score may be at the given moment.
Jewish life with all of its thrills and excitement, boredom and tiredness, improbabilities and constants, is a very long game. Viewing it from this perspective can help one achieve a more sanguine view in our lives. As the great baseball sage, Yogi Berra, once commented: "It ain't over until it's over!"
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17
Parshas Pinchas
R’ Ben Tzion Shafier-The Shmuz
THE VOICE INSIDE
“Pinchas, the son of Elazar, the son of Aharon HaKohain, appeased My anger against the Bnai Yisroel by taking My revenge amidst them, and so I didn’t have to destroy them with My vengeance.” — Bamidbar 25:11 Pinchas was granted a Bris Shalom
The posuk tells us that because Pinchas defended the honor of HASHEM, he was granted a “bris of shalom.” The Siforno explains that as a result of this covenant of peace, Pinchas lived to an extraordinary age – far longer than was expected in his times. However, the Siforno points out that the reason for his longevity wasn’t supernatural, but rather because he was granted this bris. Since he was given shalom, he was at peace with himself, and as a result, he didn’t suffer the normal internal conflict that causes damage to our bodies. He therefore lived to an extremely old age.
The Siforno explains, “All deterioration happens to the body because of conflict of the opposites.” In other words, all disease, infirmity, and weakening with age only occurs because of internal conflicts. Since Pinchas was granted peace, he had no internal battles; therefore, his body didn’t age, and he lived hundreds of years. The body was made to last only so long…
The difficulty with this understanding of the Siforno is that it negates our basic understanding of health. The reality is that humans age. The heart, the liver, and the pancreas were designed to function only for a given length of time. After that, they break down. Infirmities and weakness come 18
naturally with old age. Arthritis, high blood pressure, and the thickening of the arteries are a part of life. While the heart may be a remarkable living pump, the valves start to weaken with time, the muscle tissue begins to break down, and it deteriorates with age. The body was made to last only so long; then it just wears out. So how can the Sifrno argue with our accepted understanding by stating “All deterioration happens to the body because of conflict of the opposites.” Mind/body relationship
The answer to this question is based on 20th century medical findings. Herbert Benson, M.D., Ph.D., was a professor of medicine at Harvard University in the 1960’s when he stumbled upon an unusual phenomenon. He found that when a patient’s blood pressure was taken in his office, invariably it was higher than when it was taken at home. His patients would regularly report blood pressure levels significantly lower than what was found in his office. After careful study, he concluded that anxiety contributes to high blood pressure. Being examined by a doctor was causing his patients to be nervous, and that was contributing to the rise in their blood pressure.
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health were taken as psychosomatic or imagined.
Benson’s discovery led him to firmly establish the correlation between stress and high blood pressure, and he became a pioneer in a new field of medicine: the relationship between mind and body. Since those times, it has become accepted in the medical community that stress causes a marked deterioration to a person’s health. Stress can bring about heart disease, gastrointestinal disorders, pain, insomnia, asthma, allergies, etc. It is now accepted medical opinion that along with diet and exercise, the lowering of stress levels is a major contributor to a person’s overall health.
This is something that the Siforno taught us over 500 years ago. What he was saying was that Pinchas naturally lived for hundreds of years because the normal cause of deteriorating health didn’t apply to him. He wasn’t in conflict; he was at peace with himself, and as such, his body was healthier and able to live to a astonishingly advanced age. The ultimate cause of distress – the voice inside
This concept has major ramifications in our lives. When HASHEM created man, He implanted into each of us an inner sense of right and wrong, a Voice Inside that allows us to know the correct course of behavior for each situation. More than simply a moral compass, this Voice Inside acts as our guide to self-perfection.
When a person listens to that voice, he lives a fulfilling, meaningful life as his Creator intended, and he is at peace with himself. If he chooses to ignore that voice, not only doesn’t he grow to the heights for which he was destined, he lives in discord and conflict because the voice doesn’t give him any rest.
“Why did you do that? That was selfish. I am ashamed of you,” rags on that Voice Inside.
He didn’t ask for or choose that voice. He may no longer want it, but the voice is there, and speak it does – often against his wishes:
“Why are you living your life that way? Why aren’t you learning more? Why aren’t you davening like a mentsch? What do you think you were put on this planet for?”
Many times, the person may even want to scream at that voice, “Leave me alone! What are you – my Rebbe or something?!” But the voice doesn’t stop. He may ignore it for a while. He may squelch it down, but it returns over and over, giving him no rest. If a person decides not to listen to that voice, one of the prices he pays is discord and inner conflict. He at war with himself, and he suffers.
HASHEM created the human to be healthy, happy, and to live a fulfilling life. If a person lives in accordance with the wishes of his Creator, not only does he grow as a person, he lives a peaceful, happy life. However, if he chooses to ignore that path, not only doesn’t he accomplish the purpose for which he was created, he suffers greatly in this world as well. He lives in discord with his inner sense and finds no peace, joy, or happiness in his existence.
For more on this topic please listen to Shmuz #31- The Voice Inside
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• Begin by removing the “they owe me” attitude. Tell yourself
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I
Priorities and Price Tags Rabbi Yossy Goldman
s it the money or the man, the cash or the kids? Of course, no one would ever admit to putting money ahead of their children; but is it not an all too common phenomenon? Aren't most parents, even good parents, guilty of making that mistake now and then?
In this week's Parshah the Jewish People are preparing for the conquest of Canaan and the allotment of the Promised Land amongst the twelve tribes of Israel, when the tribes of Reuben and Gad make a special request of Moses.
They had abundant herds of livestock and the land east of the Jordan River was especially suitable for grazing. They asked Moses if they could receive this land rather than land west of the Jordan. In making this request they expressed themselves thus: "Pens for the flock we shall build here for our livestock, and cities for our small children." Immediately, Moses chastises them and corrects their mistake. "Build for yourselves cities for your small children and pens for your flock." Moses turns around their sequence, putting the children ahead of the animals. 26
Rashi observes that these tribes were more concerned about their money, i.e. livestock, than they were about their sons and daughters. Moses needed to give them a lesson in values and priorities. Put family first. Possessions come later.
The veteran American spiritual leader, Rabbi David Hollander, once told me the story of a fellow who somehow managed to get himself locked in inside a big department store after they closed up for the day. To compound the problem, it was over a holiday weekend. When all his attempts to get out proved futile, he decided to give vent to his frustrations by taking revenge on the store management. He spent the time of his incarceration swapping price tags on the merchandise. The result? A mink coat was now priced at $29.99, a necktie at $999.00. Furniture was going for the price of peanuts, the latest hi-fi for a song, and a set of underwear was absolutely unaffordable! Imagine the chaos when the store reopened. The question is, are our own price tags correctly marked? Do we value the things in our own lives correctly? Are our priorities in order? Or do we too put the cattle and the sheep
July 13, 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ 323-965-1544 â&#x20AC;˘ info@communitylinks.info
-- the car and the office -- ahead of our children?
How many workaholic husbands have told their wives, "Honey, I'm doing it all for you and the kids." But the businesses we are busy building for them actually take us away from them in the most important and formative years of their lives. Rightly has it been said, "the best thing you can spend on your kids is not money but time."
I've seen many people become "successes" over the years. They achieve professional success, career success, business success, growing their fame and fortunes. Too many in the process have become family failures. At the end of the day, our deepest satisfaction in life comes not from our professional achievements but from our family -- the growth, stability and togetherness that we have nurtured over the years -- what our Jewish parents and grandparents simply called nachas.
To paraphrase the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, "Jewish wealth is not measured in property portfolios or stocks and bonds; true Jewish wealth is being blessed with children who walk in the ways of G-d." For that, we need to be there for them and with them.
A congregant of mine once walked up to me and proclaimed, "Rabbi, I am a millionaire!" I knew the man to be of modest financial means but he immediately explained, "I'm a millionaire in nachas!" Amen. I wish it upon all of us.
Rabbi Yossy Goldman was born in Brooklyn, New York, to a distinguished Chabad family. In 1976 he was sent by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory, as a Chabad-Lubavitch emissary to serve the Jewish community of Johannesburg, South Africa. He is Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, president of the South African Rabbinical Association, and a frequent contributor to Chabad.org.
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ETTA’S WIN / WIN RAFFLE MAKES ONE LUCKY WINNER $100,000 RICHER Second Place, Third Place and 86 Additional Winners Announced
LOS ANGELES – Etta, a Los Angeles nonprofit organization that serves Jewish youth and adults with special needs, held its first annual “Win/Win” Raffle today with Encino resident Eric Foumberg receiving the grand prize of $100,000, it was announced by Dr. Michael Held, Etta’s executive director.
Winning tickets for the second place prize of $18,000, three third place prizes of $1,800 each, and 86 additional cash prize winners were also selected at the public drawing held at Etta’s summer day camp, Camp Avraham Moshe.
“The funds raised from the “Win/Win” Raffle will help support the many important programs of the Etta Israel Center,” Dr. Held said. “The commitment, vision and hard work of our board members, volunteers, and staff made this raffle a huge success.”
The Etta Israel Center creates programs and services that help Jewish youth and adults achieve inclusion and integration in the community and works to raise community awareness and sensitivity toward people with special needs. Additional information about Etta can be obtained by visiting www.etta.org.
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T
Stress Busters By Sara Chana, IBCLC, RA (AHG)
oday we women do it all—yes, you men also ‘do it all’—that’s just the way the world is today; keeping us constantly busy! We work, parent, shop, cook, clean, and most of all, we get stressed! Most adults know that we are supposed to find the time to take care of ourselves, but that doesn’t always happen. We know we need to sleep, eat healthy food, drink water and exercise, but we usually find it difficult to include these necessities into our busy schedules.
Many countries have a rest period—a ‘siesta’ or a ‘tea-time’ in the middle of their work days. Imagine if we had the custom to stop the busy flow of our day and sit down to a relaxing cup of tea. Imagine if that cup of tea was filled with calming medicinal herbs. What would happen? Wouldn’t we all become calmer, or feel less stressed? The answer is emphatically yes! 32
When I first studied herbal medicine, ‘tea-time’ is what my teacher believed everyone should do at least once a day. She taught us that certain herbal teas could help counter the terrible side-effects of chronic stress such as high blood pressure, headaches and digestive disorders. She spent a lot of time teaching us how to make wonderfully relaxing herbal blends. In my first few months of practice, I believed I could convince my clients of the need for this ‘tea-time’ ritual, but since most of my clients were habitually busy, running from one activity to the next, ‘tea-time’ was not going to happen for them in the foreseeable future. Most of my clients didn’t even have time to wait for the water to boil, let alone have time to steep the tea. So I re-evaluated what I had learned and began offering a ‘quicker’ solution for my clients—I taught them about ‘tinctured herbs.’ Tinctured herbs are herbs that have been steeped in grain alcohol, in order to July 13, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info
capture and preserve their medicinal qualities within a liquid form that is both potent and easy to take. All one has to do is put 25-35 drops into a small cup of water or juice and drink it—the alcohol has no effect.
An herbal tincture or mix could be kept in a small bag or purse and taken while driving the carpool, before a big business meeting, as you run out of the house, as you are preparing dinner, or anytime you are feeling stressed. And the good news is that the entire process takes only about 30 seconds.
There are many soothing and calming ‘anti-stress’ herbs; so each person will require a different herb, or different herbal combination, depending on the source of their individual stress. Some people need only a single herb to help ease the negative effects of stress, while others find that combining all of the herbs listed below makes them feel their best, and here they are:
• Motherwort is my all-time favorite herb to help stabilize moodiness. This is an herb that can be felt within twenty minutes after taking it. It is an herb that can be used by women of all ages and stages of their lives. Motherwort is wonderful for taking that ‘edge off ’ of your feelings and is helpful if you suddenly feel as if that ‘black-cloud’ is descending. It can be used prophylactically if you know you will be encountering a difficult time.
• Skullcap is for nervous tension and also helpful with anxiety. Skullcap, like motherwort is an herb you will begin to feel working within twenty minutes of ingestion. It is best used before an intimidating experience, like a business meeting you have been anticipating for weeks, or right before it is time to put your children to bed. Skullcap can be taken over a long period of time, or as needed in the moment.
• Mimosa bark is purported to bring ‘joy to a person’s heart’. In Italy it was customary to bring the one you loved a bouquet of mimosa flowers. So, in a similar vein, why not treat yourself with the special present of mimosa bark if you are just feeling sad, moody and unloved. Mimosa bark can be used occasionally as needed.
• Fresh milky oats is a wonderful herb if you have been through long-term stress. Oats can help with frazzled nerves. This herb is best taken three times a day over a long period of time. This is not an herb whose affects you will feel right
July 13, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info
away. Think of fresh milky oats as a massage for your central nervous system.
• Eleuthero is an herb called an adaptogen. Simply stated, adaptogens are a family of herbs that heal the entire body. Eleuthero is especially useful for type-A personalities who work too hard and become ‘burned-out.’ This herb will help balance one’s adrenal glands. Eleuthero is best taken three times a day for a long period of time to feel its effects.
While it is always best to work with an herbalist who can take your history, understand your personal needs and create a personal blend, the herbs that I have listed are safe and can be experimented with freely. Most of these herbs combine with most conventional drugs, but it is best to check with an AHG herbalist if you are not sure.
Sara Chana Silverstein, IBCLC RH (AHG) is a Lactation Consultant, Classical Homeopath, and Registered Herbalist with twenty years of experience. She migrates from New York and spends her summers in Los Angeles, seeing clients from newborns to the elderly. She helps with all medical conditions and specializes in woman’s and children’s health. She can be reached at 917-587-0262 or Sarachanala@gmail.com
SARA CHANA SILVERSTIEN WILL BE SEEING CLIENTS IN THE L.A. AREA FROM JUNE 19-SEPT 5TH As a Lactation Consultant: • BREAST FEEDING PROBLEMS &
PAIN RELIEF As an Herbalist & Homeopath she can help with: ALL PREGNANCY & POST-PARTUM ISSUES ALL MOTHER/BABY ISSUES SUCH AS: • EAR INFECTION • STREP INFECTIONS • THRUSH & FUNGAL PROBLEMS • COLIC, STOMACH PAINS, INDIGESTION • EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Sara Chana is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Classical Homeopath and Herbalist
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Mothers Connecting Free Babysitting Available
Having Difficulty Balancing It All? Come join this weekly support group for mothers focused on helping each other. SOME BENEFITS CAN INCLUDE:
• Relaxation and relief from your daily struggles • Reconnecting with your inner voice • Rejuvenating your marriage • Creating the home environment you want • Becoming the best mother and wife you can be Facilitated by Bina Weiss, Marriage & Family Therapist, Registered Intern #67997
Groups will meet at The Ness Counseling Center: Wednesdays, 1pm - 2:15 pm Session fee: $20 Limited space available - please RSVP 323 806 4100 or at binaweissmft@gmail.com Supervised by José Cabrera MFT #45195
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Employed by
The Ness Center 8512 Whitworth Dr. Los Angeles CA 90035 Tel: 310 360-8512
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We offer counseling for: Domestic Violence/Anger Management Groups Sexual Addictions
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Place sliced onions in boiling water for one minute.. Drain water, place onions in container that you will use to store the pickled onions Bring vinegar, sugar and salt to a simmer until sugar dissolves (about two minutes). Pour vinegar mixture onto onions . Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.
Onion pickle relish Send us your mazel tovs to info@communitylinks.info
FRIDAY, JULY 13, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:48 pm ••• FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:45 pm ••• FRIDAY, JULY 27, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:40 pm
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1 small onion, finely diced 10 dill pickles, finely diced 2 cloves garlic, crushed 4 tablespoons ketchup 1 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 1 tablespoon lemon Mix all ingredients and serve. By: Bitayavon Magazine www.bitayavon.com For more summer and grilling recipes check outbitayavon's sensational summer issue available July 13th in stores and online at www.bitayavon.com. Subscribe & save. July 13, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info
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DoubleTake
Can you spot the differences in these two pictures? 8TH DAY IS BACK!
The follow up to their global smash hit “Chasing Prophecy /Ya’alili” is here. The album titled “All You Got”, features fresh new tracks with the same 8th Day lyrical and vocal touch that makes this band’s music so unique. .
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CHANGES KEEP SCORE
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July 13, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info
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GIFTS
Great gifts for all occasions! Invited out for a Shabbos meal? Baby gifts, Bas Mitzvah gifts, Wedding gifts, & House warming gifts. Don't put it off! Come in today and go out relieved. Call for a special appointment.
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Recession-Proof Careers Are you unemployed and collecting unemployment benefits? In just 8 months we will train you in a recession-proof career, and help you find an exciting job in: Pharmacy Technician, Medical Assistant, Medical Office Management, Accounting, Administrative Assistant, Business Management, Computer Graphics, Computer Aided Design. LA ORT is NonProfit organization. Financial Aid, Scholarship and Transportation assistance are available. Call 323-966-5444 and ask for Flora. www.LAORT.edu
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Outside Los Angeles, CA. Zip 93561. New: Daily learning and davening, suited for all levels, Reb Sholem Gimpel – Gabai. Suited for Families, Individuals, and existing Torah Organizations. Healthy, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly. 'Twice the Home for Half the Money'. Priced from: 125k starter homes. 199k -499k very nice, larger, & high end homes. 65k bungalow, condo or co-op. Lease from: House $900, Share $500. Apartment/Bungalow $750. 'Learn More' contact: Roger M. outreach & housing at: rmp@pearlmancta.com or call
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