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July 12 - July 26, 2 0 1 3

Vol. 10 Issue 235

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FEATURES

July 12, 2013

Next Issue Next Advertising Deadline July 22, 2013 Circulation July 26, 2013 Media Kit & Pricing 323.965.1544 Email info@communitylinks.info

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In-laws Don’t Have to Be Out-laws

News & Press Releases press@communitylinks.info Virtual Subscription subscribe@communitylinks.info

When someone has landed in my office as a result of in-law troubles, it is usually because the pot has boiled over and now the issues with the in-laws are threatening the marriage.

Mia Adler Ozair

Memory Memory12 Jews never had history. We have memory. History can become a book, a museum, and forgotten antiquities.

Memory is alive. And memory guarantees our future.

Rabbi Yossy Goldman

MA, LPCC, NCC

THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published biweekly and is distributed free to the Jewish Community of Southern California.

THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts no responsibility for typographical errors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may be shortened and/or edited for length and clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express the views of the individual writers and may not necessarily represent the views of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without the written permission of the publisher.

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28 The Bitter Better Way Moshe lovingly understood that Am Yisroel must sojourn in the wildernessfor 39 years, so that it would become an Am Kodosh—a Holy Nation—that would be worthy of entering a land that was Kodesh.

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In-laws Don’t Have to Be Out-laws MIA ADLER OZAIR, MA, LPCC, NCC

I

n light of recent sessions with clients, I thought it might be a good idea to write an article about the relationship between husband or wife and his or her in-laws, the parents of our spouse. These relationships seem to be quite complex and dynamic with many layers. Not only are us married folk dealing with the dynamics of our own spouse and possibly our own children, but the additional impact and influence on the marriage of the parents (grandparents) can be quite cumbersome. To get us started, here are some real-life conflicts that I have personally witnessed: t Bride chooses dark navy as the color for her bridesmaids’ dresses.

Mother-in-law-to-be insists there are no dark navy dresses available in her city and instead she chooses a bright emerald green dress to wear for the wedding; t Parents of husband plan a couple vacations a year to visit from out of the country. Both husband and parents expect that wife will become the tour guide for the duration of their

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visit waiting on them hand and foot and driving them to wherever they wish to go. . . on top of all of the usual family responsibilities she has going on. She was never asked if this is okay or if it works with her already jam-packed schedule of responsibilities; Every time wife’s parents visit, mother of wife constantly criticizes parenting abilities of husband to the point of threatening, “If you ever speak with my granddaughter that way again . . .” (fill in the blank); Mother of husband comes to visit for weeks on end and kicks wife out of her own kitchen claiming her cooking is not good enough for her or her son; Father of wife constantly criticizes husband for not being able to make enough money to sustain previous lifestyle of wife prior to her marriage; Couple asks parents to babysit and grandparents are never available or lack desire to help; Grandparents are over almost every

July 12, 2013• 323-965-1544 •

day and do not respect the boundaries of the couple and children; t Grandparents feed child whatever they wish when child is in their care, despite strict instructions from the parents on what they deem as acceptable; t Mother of husband blames bad parenting on the parents for the fact that the child is autistic; t Husband or wife “sides” with his or her own parents on marital issues or family conflicts causing a rift in the unity of the husband and wife; t Mother-in-law tells daughter she is fat and needs to lose weight; t Husband or wife cannot handle hearing any criticism about his or her parents from the spouse and immediately gets defensive and attacks the spouse instead of listening with care about what is going on and attempting to rectify the situation to keep shalom bayit.

The list is endless. There are, of course, couples who have very good relationships with their in-laws; however no one comes to therapy because

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things are so good. When someone has landed in my office as a result of in-law troubles, it is usually because the pot has boiled over and now the issues with the in-laws are threatening the marriage. In light of this, I’ve decided to come up with a basic universal list of behavioral suggestions for each member of the family to follow in order to maintain healthy relationships in the marriage as well as with the parents of the bride and/ or groom.

I cannot express enough how important it is for husband and wife to be on the same page supporting one another.

1.

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE WIFE: Conflict between wife and mother-in-law is without question the most popular issue when it comes to in-law troubles. Your husband will always be his mother’s son. You may never be good enough in his mom’s eyes. Your cooking may stink, your laundry or home not clean enough, your parenting not good enough. The sooner you accept these facts as irrelevant the easier your life will become. Your motherin-law is entitled to her opinions, but she is not entitled to share them with you or your husband, especially if it is causing problems in the marriage. However, it is also not your job to ask her politely to back off.

This is your husband’s job. If you are struggling with your relationship with your mother-in-law then lovingly enlist your husband’s help to buffer the relationship. If he is unwilling or unable to do this, then silent buffering is in order: answer

her calls less, less frequent invitations to come over, perhaps even less contact with grandchildren until the behavior improves. If all else fails, a nice, caring, and brief written note to her asking her to adjust her behavior may work . . . or may not. But your primary concern in your marriage is your husband—not his parents. This may simply mean grinning and biting your cheek, showing great respect even if it is difficult.

This is especially true if you see your husband is in fact trying to help but things are not changing. I cannot express enough how important it is for husband and wife to be on the same page supporting one another in cases of in-law strife. Finally, when your husband comes to you about your own parents’ behavior, listen with care and help when possible.

2.

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE HUSBAND: Your wife will always be daddy’s little girl. You may not be good enough, you may not make enough money, your job may not be prestigious enough, and your manners may not be polished enough. But your wife chose you for a reason and it may be a reason her parents may never understand. Your job in this case is to simply be as polite and respectful as possible to her parents. Share with your wife how you feel. If there is something specific that is being done or said, address it with her—not her parents—and give her the opportunity to have a gentle conversation with her parents about how their actions are impacting you and the marriage. Avoid direct conflict where possible and understand that direct confrontation only makes things worse unless handled in the proper way. Finally, when your wife comes to you about your own parents’ behavior, listen with care and help when possible.

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3.

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE PARENTS OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM: Yes, you are the matriarchs and patriarchs of the family. Yes, your children and grandchildren should acknowledge this with respectful behavior. However, please know your boundaries and respect that your son or daughter has chosen his or her partner for a reason you may not accept or understand. Please know that you have had your chance to choose a spouse and have had your chance to build a home. Now provide your child with the freedom to do the same without unwanted comments or criticisms from you. Marriage is hard enough without the additional pressure from in-laws’ expectations, demands, and judgments. It is the hope that your desire and intention is for your child to be happy in his or her union so please, with all due respect, keep your opinions to yourself unless they have been speciďŹ cally asked for. Please do not tell them how to raise their children or live their lives. Please allow them the space to make their own successes and mistakes. If they give you the privilege of babysitting and playing an active role in their lives and the grandchildren’s lives, please respect their guidelines for how they chose to do things. You may not agree, but HaShem gave these particular children to them to raise. In general, be as supportive as possible to encourage a happy home for them—even if it means biting your tongue and refraining from commentary.

Of course, the exception to all of this is if any true abuses are taking place—physically, sexually, verbally, ďŹ nancially, or otherwise—causing danger to any members of the family. In all circumstances these matters need to be reported and dealt with with the proper authorities.

Overall, and as a general rule, try not to take things personally.

Each human being carries with them years of baggage that they themselves are dealing with, and most often when behaviors arise it is much more a reection of that person’s issues and not your own. At that same time, it is always wise to ask yourself if there is anything you are doing speciďŹ cally to attract this conict into your life and also ask if there are any simple things that can be done to simply avoid the conicts entirely. In the big picture, what matters most is your spouse and your children and the home you are building together to be a place of harmony, peace, safety, love, and hopefully Yiddishkeit. Wishing all of you shalom bayit in your immediate homes and expanding out to encompass your in-laws and extended family as well.

Mia Adler Ozair, MA, LPCC, NCC is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and educator with a private practice in Beverly Hills, California. Mia is licensed in both California and Illinois and she can be reached through her website at www.bhcounselingcenter.com or followed on Twitter @MiaAdlerOzair.

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Memory YOSSY GOLDMAN

O

n the Shabbat prior to Tisha B’Av, the Jewish national day of mourning, we will hear the famous Haftarah (reading from the Prophets) of Chazon, the “Vision of Isaiah.” And on Tishah B’Avitself, we will recall the destruction of our Holy Temple nearly 2,000 years ago by fasting and mourning and the other observances of the day.

But why remember? The world cannot understand why we go on about the Holocaust--and that was only 60 years ago! For over 19 centuries, we have been remembering and observing this event and it has become the saddest day in our calendar. Why? Why not let bygones be bygones? It’s history. What was was. Why keep revisiting old and painful visions?

They say that Napoleon was once passing through the Jewish ghetto in Paris and heard sounds of crying and wailing emanating from a synagogue. He stopped to ask what the lament was about.

He was told that the Jews were remembering the destruction of their Temple.“When did it happen?” asked the Emperor.“Some 1700 years ago,” was the answer he received. Whereupon Napoleon stated with conviction that a people who never forgot its past would be destined to forever have a future.

Jews never had history. We have memory. History can become a book, a museum, and forgotten antiquities. Memory is alive. And memory guarantees our future.

Even amidst the ruins, we refused to forget. The first temple was destroyed by the Babylonians. As they led the Jews into captivity, the Jews sat down and wept. “By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept remembering Zion.” What did we cry for? Our lost wealth, homes and businesses? No. We cried for Zion andJerusalem. “If I forget thee ‘O Jerusalem, let my right hand lose its cunning. If I fail to elevate Jerusalem above my foremost joy, then let my tongue cleave to its palate.” We were not weeping for ourselves or our lost liberties but for the heavenly city and the Holy Temple. Amidst the bondage, we aspired to rebuild; amidst the ruins we dreamt of returning.

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And because we refused to forget Jerusalem, we did return. Because we refused to accept defeat or accept our exile as a historical fait accompli, we have rebuilt proud Jewish communities the world over, while our victors have been vanquished by time. Today there are no more Babylonians and the people who now live in Rome are not the Romans who destroyed the Second Temple. Those nations became history while we, inspired by memory, emerged revitalized and regenerated and forever it will be true that Am Yisrael Chai -- the people of Israel lives!

I remember hearing a story of a Torah scholar and his nephew who were in the Holocaust. In the concentration camp, they studied the Talmud together. They were learning the tractate Moed Katan, a part of the Talmud that, ironically, discusses the laws of mourning.

And when the time came that the uncle saw himself staring death in the face, he said to his nephew, “Promise me that if you survive you will finish studying this book of Moed Katan.” Amidst the misery, desolation and tragedy, what thought preoccupied his mind? That the Talmud should still be studied. This was his last wish on earth. Was it madness, or is it the very secret of our survival?

Only if we refuse to forget, only if we observe Tisha B’av, can we hope to rebuild one day. Indeed, the Talmud assures us, “Whosoever mourns for Jerusalem, will merit to witness her rejoicing.” If we are to make it back to Zion, if our people are to harbor the hope of being restored and revived, then we dare not forget. We need to observe our National Day of Mourning. Forego the movies and the restaurants.

Sit down on a low seat to mourn with your people; and perhaps even more importantly, to remember. And, please G-d, He will restore those glorious days and rebuild His own everlasting house. May it be speedily in our day.

Excerpted from the book From Where I Stand by Rabbi Yossy Goldman, published by KTAV, and available at leading Jewish booksellers or from amazon.com.

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15

The Observant Jew

I’ll be the Judge of That!

RABBI JONATHAN GEWIRTZ

R

ecently I heard a story about Robin Williams. Robin Williams is a world-famous comedian and actor who has been in the business for decades. While he is not Jewish, he has said that growing up he gravitated towards the Jewish kids in school because they, like he who moved to the area from another city, were seen as outsiders. He even called himself an honorary Jew because he attended 14 Bar Mitzvahs in a single year!

While being interviewed on a German talk show, a woman asked him, “Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?” He replied, “Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?”

When a friend related this story, one woman who heard it was very upset. She said, “If he really said this, it is a terribly cruel and insensitive response to someone not responsible for the horrific acts of a previous generation.”

Now, I’ve often said that when given the choice between good taste and a good line, a good line will win every time. I’m not going to discuss whether his comment was tactful or not or whether it was funny or not. (OK, I think it was funny!)

What I’d like to focus on is this: The woman who was incensed by the cruelty of his comment may have jumped the gun.

She was obviously feeling defensive for the interviewer, who was seemingly attacked by this American, born after the Holocaust, who stereotyped Germans as indiscriminate murderers.

I wondered: how did he deliver the punchline? What was said before that question? How did the interviewer take the line? In truth, we can’t rush to judgment because we don’t have all the facts. We just have a snapshot in time where we see an interaction, but we’re seeing it out of context. In that light, I don’t think it’s fair to condemn him.

Realize you’re just getting a glimpse through a keyhole.

Unfortunately, though, this woman’s behavior is not uncommon. All too often we see people do things wrong and we condemn them. We assume they are insensitive, sinful, callous, and any other adjectives that fit for someone who does something wrong and maybe even hurtful.

Chazal tells us,“Don’t judge your fellow until you reach his place.” In American vernacular, we say,“Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” Both expressions highlight something key.

If we want to judge someone, we first need to not only be in the same place as he is, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or otherwise, but to have gotten to that place on the same path as he arrived there. Just as one who helicopters to the top of a mountain cannot gauge the skills necessary or the challenges faced by one who climbed to the summit himself, so can we not judge others when we’ve not experienced exactly what they

have. And here’s a little secret: That will never happen!

No too people are alike, so we can’t know what someone else is thinking, how each experience affected them, or how they got to where they are. In other words, we can NEVER judge people. In fact, it’s a posuk, ‘ki hamishpat l’ailokim hu,’ for judgment is G-d’s.

Once we’re on the topic of judging though, let’s take this example one step further. Just as we can’t judge people because we don’t know what they’ve gone through and why they do what they do, so too can we not judge HaShem and question His actions.

Now, before somebody stands up and says,“That’s the problem with you people,” (what does he mean by that?!) “you just believe everything the Rabbis tell you and you don’t allow people to think for themselves or ask questions,” let me stop you. I’m not saying that we can’t wonder why HaShem did something, or that we shouldn’t discuss how and why “bad” things happen.

What I mean is that the point of the questioning should be to reach some level of understanding of why HaShem might have done something and what message He is sending, but we can’t second-guess Him or say that He made a mistake, or lost control G-d forbid. We are only seeing an instant in human history, and only from the very limited perspective of our personal life experiences. We don’t see the ripple effect, the consequences, good or bad, that are taking place.

A friend took his daughter and two grandchildren to the airport. His daughter was traveling abroad and the airline told her that one of her bags was too large. She had to call her father to come back to get it, and have a brother-in-law come get it from her parents’ home later. Surely this was a frustrating experience that was just “bad.”

What she couldn’t know was that her father was a bit misty-eyed, having dropped off the kids and wondering when he would see them next. When she called him to come back, he was pleasantly surprised to be able to hug them again so soon, courtesy of something “bad,” which G-d had planned all along.

So, before you rush to judgment next time, think of Robin Williams’s joke, and how we don’t know what took place before and after it was said. It might make you withhold your opinion, and realize you’re just getting a glimpse through a keyhole.

That’s how wise people look at the world. No kidding.

Jonathan Gewirtz is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in publications around the world. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion.

For more information, or to sign up for his weekly Dvar Torah in English, e-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com and put Subscribe in the subject. © 2013 by Jonathan Gewirtz. All rights reserved.

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17

Where G-d is Found

G-d wants us to seek Him out amid the distractions, tumult, questions and insecurities of life.

BY LAZER GURKOW

W

here are you closer to G-d: on a serene mountaintop surrounded by the beauty of nature, or on a loud, dirty street corner in the middle of an inner city? It is true that you mightfeel closer to G-d on the mountaintop, but even in the inner city we can we accomplish what G-d expects from us.

THE SUDDEN PIVOT AT SINAI A curious affair took place at Sinai days before G-d gave the Ten Commandments. G-d told Moses that He would appear in the thick of a cloud and communicate the Ten Commandments through him, but the Jews begged to see G-d directly. “One cannot compare instructions received from a king to instructions received through officials; we yearn to see our King.”

G-d granted this request and spoke to the Jews directly. The Jews, having just experienced what no other humans had ever seen or heard, approached Moses and said, “Behold, the L-rd, our G-d, has shown us His glory and His greatness, and we heard His voice from the midst of the fire; we saw this day that G-d speaks with man, yet [man] remains alive.”

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But then—apparently alarmed by the G-dly revelation—they continued, “So now, why should we die? . . . If we continue to hear the voice of the L-rd, our G-d, any more, we will die. For who is there of all flesh who heard the voice of the living G-d speaking from the midst of the fire, as we have, and lived? You approach, and hear all that the L-rd, our G-d, will say, and you speak to us.”

This sudden reversal is nothing short of astounding. They had asked to see and hear G-d. They had witnessed that it is possible for man to hear G-d and live.

Why did they reverse their decision so soon, and beg to be spared? How could they even suggest that hearing G-d directly might kill them, if they had just

July 12, 2013• 323-965-1544 •

survived it? The greatest question of all is: why did G-d validate this seemingly absurd request?

SUPERNATURAL SURVIVAL The answer lies in a little-known Talmudic statement that when our ancestors heard the first and second commandments, their souls expired from the sheer intensity and sanctity of the moment. Seeing G-d was an exhilarating and ecstatic experience, but it was also overwhelming. Their hearts melted with joy, their souls danced with glee, their spirits rose to unimaginable heights, their veins pulsed with passion; their entire beings glowed with the experience.

So rapidly did their spirits ascend that

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their bodies could no longer contain them; amidst the rapture and radiance, their bodies gave out. They would have died right there, had G-d not tenderly and lovingly restored them to life.

Our ancestors discovered that it is possible to see G-d and survive, but only if G-d chooses to perform a miracle. Barring such supernatural intervention, they would not have made it through the experience. This was not the life they desired. They wanted to be fully alive in a physical sense, and to accomplish this they requested that G-d speak to them through Moses. It would appear that our ancestors had a good point. After all, G-d agreed with them.

WHO IS CLOSER? We now return to our original question. Are we necessarily closer to G-d when we untangle ourselves from the shackles of distraction and find serenity in a quiet place? The answer is no.

Disengaging from the physical to find G-d is precisely what He does not want. G-d wants us to seek Him within the rhythms of life. He wants us to seek Him out amid the distractions, tumult, questions and insecurities. He wants us to find Him in our puny little lives. For if G-d cannot be found in the thicket, He is not the G-d we seek.

He wants us to discover that the distractions and obsessions, weaknesses and failures are all created by Him, and that they mark the road to sublimation. He wants us to learn that somewhere in our roiling confusion lies a hidden but heavenly path that is the raison d’etre of existence; it is the epicenter of life, the pinnacle of the divine master plan and the purpose for which the world was created.

When are you closest to G-d? When the real you wrestles with real life, addresses real concerns, confronts real issues, and despite it all succeeds in making space for G-d. He does not want you to escape your reality to find Him; He wants to be found within your reality. He wants you, not the person you become when you escape yourself.

When are you closest to G-d? When the real you wrestles with real life, addresses real concerns, confronts real issues, and despite it all succeeds in making space for G-d.

IN REAL LIFE G-d’s purpose in descending to Sinai was to marry heaven and earth. This does not mean that He wanted humans to escape the clutches of earth to catch a glimpse of heaven. It means that He wanted us to seek and find G-d as we live right here on earth.

When our ancestors begged to see G-d, they had hoped to remain alive through natural means. Had this been possible, they would have returned from their experience eminently able to fulfill their mandate of marrying heaven and earth. But to their chagrin, they discovered that this was not easily accomplished. Their attempts to see G-d would have ended in unmitigated disaster had G-d not intervened. They were simply not capable of assimilating such intense holiness.

They therefore reconsidered and charted a new path. They would remain firmly rooted in physical life, but would receive their mandate and their spiritual strength, albeit in diluted form, through Moses.

Rabbi Lazer Gurkow is spiritual leader of congregation Beth Tefilah in London, Ontario and a frequent contributor to The Judaism Website - Chabad. org. He has lectured extensively on a variety of Jewish topics, and his articles have appeared in many print and online publications. For more on Rabbi Gurkow and his wrtings, visit InnerStream.ca.

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or the past few years Los Angeles has seen a changing landscape in the area of Jewish education. Older institutions changed formats, such as Shaalhevet expanding its doors to include a lower school and then again reformatting back to a high school. Recently, we haave seen educators experiment with new models in the cases of Yeeshiva High Tech and Chabad of South La Cinega’s very own Jewish Montessori preschool. The latest contender to chaallenge our educationaal paradigm is Darko.

Darko is the brainchild of Shimon Shain, a local educator and the founder of MasterMind LA, a well known tutoring and coaching company that mentors students and teachers alike on the latest cutting edge developments in Jewish Education. MasterMind LA is responsible for bringing Rabbi Jonathan R Riietti to Los Angeles and implementing the Lashon HaT Torah program at Darko, Yavneh and many other local Jewish schools.

Unlike a traditional day school, the Darko learning center breaks the mold with its innovative and collab orative approach to education. Student’s benefit from ful time, haalf day or opt-in classes based on availability an faall under their parents Private School Affidaavit, thus, tak ing the concept of homeschooling to the next level. Rather than merely thinking outside of the box this allows students and educators to ponder the shaape of Jewish education.

Darko prides itself as being Jewish Montessori where students participate in hands on learningg and spend more time actively engaged in curriculum, than sitting at desks. This past year the students participated in science courses offeered at the L.A. Science Centerr, learned about spatial relationships with Lego robotics enforced by a trip to Legoland, and re-enforced mathematical skills through workking on fractions during challah maaki k ng. Additionally, the students focused on pre-geometry concepts during woodworkking and technical skills, including computers and graphics put to use during Claaymation classes.

Darko’s Judaic and general studies curriculum is fully integrated. When the children learn about the first day of creation (when Hashem created light), the teachers take the opportunity to

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teach all about the science of gravity and light. When the children learn about day three of creation (when Hashem created land and oceans), the teachers take the opportunity to teach geography... .

For more information on Darko, to get involved or to schedule a tour of their Pico Robertson campus call (323)-244-4136 and be sure to check out their virtual tour at DarkoLA.org

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The Bitter Better Way RABBI REUVEN WOLF

T

he second Posuk of this week’s Parsha, Parshas Devarim, tells us that Am Yisroel traveled, “Eleven days’ journey out of Chorev [Har Sinai], on the way of Mount Seir, to Kadesh Barnea”—the “gateway” into Eretz Yisroel.

Rashi makes a calculation of the time spent on this journey and come to the conclusion that, though the journey ordinarily should take a group as large as Am Yisroel eleven days, the journey from Sinai to Kadesh Barnea actually took the Jewish People just 3 days—and indeed the Midrash tells us that the trip was shortened miraculously by Hashem because He was eager to bring Am Yisroel into the Holy Land.

But there is also an implied rebuke from Moshe to the Israelites in this Posuk: Instead of entering Israel just three days after leaving Mt. Sinai—or even after the 40 days such a trip actually took (three days of miraculously-speeded-up travel and two delays along the way: one for the episode of the Slov, the quail; the other to wait for Miriam to recover from her Tzara’as), because of our misdeeds, Am Yisroel spent 39 years wandering from place to place, only to wind up back at Kadesh Barnea.

This Posuk appears in the Talmud (Menachot 65a), where a debate is recounted between the great Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai and a sect known as the Beitusim, who followed the Sadducees in believing that only the Written Torah was authoritative, and that the teachings, rules and deductions of the Rabbis given them by Moshe—Torah ShB’al Peh, the Oral Torah—was not the guide to proper

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observance of the Torah. With that, they dismissed the entire body of Rabbinic Law up to that time—and forever after as well.

The issue under discussion in that debate was: what is the correct date of Shavu’os? The Torah tells us to count seven weeks “MiMacharas HaShabbos”, which would literally mean,“From the day after Shabbos,” but the Rabbis use decisive and irrefutable argument to show that the verse means, “the day after the first day of Pesach.” The Beitusim, however, take the text literally and believe that the counting of seven weeks should begin the day after the first Shabbos after the first day of Pesach. That means that Shavu’os would always fall on Sunday—50 days after the Shabbos after the Seder.

According to the Rabbis, Shavu’os falls on the 50th day after the first day of Pesach, whatever day of the week it falls on.

One of the Beitusim, the Gemara tells us, made the following argument to Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai: Since we know that Moshe loved the Jewish People—no one would dispute that—we would expect him to arrange that Shavu’os should always fall on Sunday, so that we would have a more restful two-day Yom Tov—Yom Tov following Shabbos— instead of a one-day Yom Tov in the middle of the week.

Rav Yochanan replies by citing our Posuk: “The Torah tells us here” he says, “that the journey from Sinai to the border of Eretz Yisroel is an eleven day journey. Yet, Moshe kept them wandering in the desert for 39 more years.” So providing a cushy calendar did not seem important to Moshe, and,

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The same was true of the conquest of the Land of Israel: more important, was not deemed by him to be an expression of love for Am Yisroel. Rav Yochanan is not arguing it could have taken place immediately through miracles and that Moshe’s love for the Jewish People was less. Something wonders as had taken place during the Exodus from Egypt and the first battles the Am Yisroel had in the Wilderness. deeper is going on here.

Rav Yochanan’s response strikes at the heart of the dis- But the real gift was to allow Am Yisroel to do what they pute between the Rabbis and the Beitusim—and at the heart had to do—fight the battles; deal with the nations of Caof all the attacks on the primacy of Torah Sh’B’al Peh—the naan; and settle the land—in a conquest that took several Oral Law—as an absolute necessity for understanding the generations and the dedicated work of all of Am Yisroel.

What Rav Yochanan was saying was that Moshe gave Torah and for following the Will of Hashem. You see, the them seven weeks in which to conBeitusim asked what seems on the duct intense preparations for Matan surface a good question: how can any Is Torah a free gift that Torah precisely because he loved Am finite, mortal, limited human mind Yisroel. Preparation for Matan Toever expect to understand the Divine is simply handed over rah (or for Shabbos, for that matter) intent and Infinite thought that is conwithout any work required requires more—much more—than tained in the Torah? For them, a Jew’s simply taking a shower and getting task is to obey the letter of the Writby humankind, or is it up! It requires deep thought, ten Torah—without deep analysis, something that we humans dressed fervent prayer, taking stock of the without inspired thought, and without mental and spiritual preparation. have to work on by applying condition of one’s soul and preparIt’s simply a gift that comes down from our minds, our intelligence ing all the recesses of the soul for the encounter with the Shechina on on high, requiring no analysis, no human effort and no interpretation. For and our spiritual sensitivity? Shavuos. To reduce the preparation for the Revelation at Sinai to simply the Beitusim (and their intellectual descendants) the best thing Moshe could do to prepare Am giving people a two-day weekend is foolish and trivial. As Yisroel to encounter Hashem and receive the Torah… is ar- with one’s own flesh-and-blood children, “loving” does not ranging a day off the day before, so that they’d be fully rested mean “coddling.” Similarly, Moshe lovingly understood that Am Yisroel must sojourn in the wilderness for 39 years, so and ready to receive the gift of the Torah.

This is a fundamental argument that is carried out again that it would become an Am Kodosh—a Holy Nation—that and again throughout Jewish history: Is Torah a free gift would be worthy of entering a land that was Kodesh.

The same is true of the 2000-year Galus the we have enthat is simply handed over without any work required by humankind, or is it something that we humans have to work dured since the days of Rav Yochanan. It has been a long and on by applying our minds, our intelligence and our spiritual often bitter trek, but it is a road that calls upon us to grow, sensitivity and insight in order to delve into the Mind of to work, to mature, to become strong and resolute along the bumpy and often perilous way. Yes, it is a harder road, but it Hashem, revealed in Torah?

Moshe understood that the true receiving of the Torah is the better one—it is the road that allows us to earn our full required work and preparation, as Am Yisroel used their redemption and to merit the Messianic Age. intelligence and their insight to delve into the Mind of the Rabbi Reuven Wolf is a world renown educator and lecturer who has Almighty to try to understand the meaning and intricacies devoted his life to reaching out to Jews of all ages and circumstances and of the Divine Mind and the Other-worldly ideas that lay rekindling their spirit of Judaism. Raised in the Ropschitzer Chassidic at the foundation of every Mitzvah and every Halacha. It dynasty, he was educated in the Belz and Bluzhev Yeshivos, and later in was not going to be easy, and it was not going to just come the celebrated Yeshivos of Slabodka and Mir. He is profoundly influenced down from above, pre-packaged and ready-to-go. The Jew- by Kabbalah and the Jewish Mystical teachings of Chabad Chassidic ish People had to work hard to understand the Divine in- philosophy. Since 1995, Rabbi Wolf has taught Jews of all ages, all across North America. In 2006, Rabbi Wolf and Haki Abhesera founded tent and the mystical ideas that lay behind the teachings and Maayon Yisroel as a center dedicated to spreading the profound mystical mitzvos—and that enterprise has been the hallmark and oc- teachings of Chassidic Judaism and to fostering the love of Jewish cupation of the Jewish people from that day to this, for over tradition among all Jews, particularly the young Jewish population of Southern California. three thousand years.

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L-R: Commissioner Winkler, Senator Risch, Orthodox Union (O-U) President Martin Nachimson & Dr. Morry Waksberg, MD

Jewish Community Leaders Briefed

by Influential United States Senator A

select group of Jewish Community leaders recently gathered in Los Angeles to hear from visiting United States Senator James E. Risch (R-ID).

Senator Risch was elected to the United States Senate in November of 2008, after serving as County Prosecutor, Idaho State Senator, Lieutenant Governor, and then Governor of Idaho. He currently serves on five senate committees including the Energy and Natural Resources Committee, the Committee on Foreign Relations, Select Committee on Intelligence, Select Committee on Ethics, and he is the Ranking Member on the Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship.

Senator Risch, who is a staunch & vocal supporter of the United States-Israel strategic relationship has been named the “Senate’s Most Conservative Member” by the National Journal and is known by his colleagues for his “pragmatic decision-making,” abilities. His peers refer to him as a “no-nonsense, get-the-jobdone leader” with 39 years of experience in elected office.

Senator Risch addressed the assembled group of Jewish Leaders from various segments of the Jewish Community, both Democrat and Republican. He touched on issues related to the economy, the national debt, energy independence, the situations in Iran, Syria, Egypt, Israel and the entire Middle East, and other important subjects of interest to the Jewish Community.

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The gourmet lunch/reception was chaired by Los Angeles County Commissioner Howard Winkler under the auspices of the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) at Shiloh’s Steak House, an upscale glatt-kosher restaurant on Pico Boulevard in West Los Angeles.

Top: Senator Risch addressing the group; Bottom left: Senator Risch, Attorney Jerry Cohen, Commissioner Winkler; Bottom right: Community Links President Dov Blauner, Senator Risch & Commissioner Winkler

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OHEL Bais Ezra’s East Broadway Residence Lights up the Stage

M

onday, June 10 was a special night for the men of the OHEL Bais Ezra East Broadway residence.

After 3 long months of practice and hard work, the men performed their play “The Jewel Thief ” in front of a packed crowd at the YM & YWHA of Washington Heights and Inwood.

It was an evening full of laughs, surprises, and even tears of joy as these men stole the audience’s hearts and attention during their Oscar worthy performance. It was wonderful to see how the director, Giselle D’Souza, was able to bring out the talents of these truly gifted men.

The parent body in attendance was in awe of how well the men took to this new program. In a conversation after the play one parent commented on how this program

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“allows our sons to express their personalities in a manner which was never possible before.”

The Drama Club encourages adults with intellectual and physical disabilities to experience the thrill of theater while learning skills that will help them thrive in every aspect of their lives. The East Broadway residence is very excited to continue with this drama program and look forward to their next performance, which will be this Fall.

For more information about OHEL Bais Ezra and their many services which you can benefit from, please contact OHEL today at 1800-603-OHEL, askohel@ ohelfamily.org or visit www.ohelfamily.org

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SWEET & SOUR PINEAPPLE SCHNITZEL This sweet and sour pineapple schnitzel tastes like a cross between classic Chinese sesame chicken and sweet & sour chicken. Frying the schnitzel in tempura batter not only saves you from making batches of nuggets, but you’ll save on calories as well!

Servings 6

Times Prep Time : 10 min Cook Time : 20 min Ready Time : 30 min Ingredients 1 package (1 1/2-2 lbs) chicken breasts, trimmed thin 1 medium onion chopped 1 red bell pepper chopped 1 can pineapple chunks drained, juice reserved 1 tablespoon canola oil plus more, for frying 1 cup Gold’s sweet & sour duck sauce 1/2 cup ketchup 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1/3 cup reserved pineapple juice 1 tablespoon sesame seeds for garnish

Tempura Batter 1 cup cold seltzer 1 egg 1/2 cup flour 1/2 cup corn starch 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt bowl of ice water Directions Saute the onion and pepper in canola oil until tender. Add pineapple chunks. Set aside.

Add the ingredients for the tempura batter in a bowl set over a second bowl of ice water. Whisk lightly to combine. Dredge the chicken breasts in the tempura batter and fry on both sides until golden and crispy. Drain on paper towels.

Add the duck sauce, ketchup, brown sugar and pineapple juice to a pot and bring to a boil. Simmer for a few minutes, until slightly thickened. Add the sauteed onion, pepper and pineapple to the sauce.

Place tempura fried schnitzel on serving dishes and spoon sauce over it. Garnish with sesame seeds.

Serve with rice.

CORN & GREEN BEAN SALAD Times Ready Time : 10 min

Servings 4

Ingredients 2 pounds Green beans, trimmed 3 ears corn, shucked 1/2 small red bell pepper, finely chopped 1 small red onion, finely chopped 1 (6 oz.) can California Black Ripe Olives, drained 1/3 cup fresh basil leaves, chopped 2 clove Garlic, finely chopped 1/4 cup Extra virgin olive oil 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 tsp. salt to taste freshly ground pepper to taste Tabasco sauce

Directions Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Fill another large pot or bowl half full with ice water and place next to the stove.

Add half the green beans to the water and cook until tender-crisp, 3 to 4 minutes. Transfer beans with a slotted spoon to the ice water to cool. Repeat with the remaining beans.

Transfer all the cooked and cooled green beans to another large bowl with a slotted spoon, reserving the ice water. Return the water to a boil.

Add the corn and cook until tender but still crisp, about 3 minutes. Transfer to the ice water to cool. Remove from the water and cut the kernels off the cobs.

Add the corn kernels to the bowl with the beans along with the remaining ingredients; toss well to combine. Reprinted with permission from www.joyofkosher.com.

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1. The word "Kest" is missing from "Dining Hall". 2. Girl in pink now has a different badge on her shirt. 3.

Table in background is now pink. 4. 2 extra lights reflected in glass in background. 5. Girl with braids now has a star on her hat. 6. A Girl with a gray shirt in the background is now missing her star badge. 7. There's an extra strip of paneling going across glass wall on right. 8. For the girl on left, on her sleeve, the blue is shorter and white is longer. 9. Girl in pink - red scarf is now shorter. 10. Girl in pink - her skirt is now a different color

qqq q qqq q qq CHANGES KEEP SCORE

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Utilities and Wifi incl. $990 Per month Call Daniel 310-735-3310 or email gug770@gmail.com

STUDIOFOR RENT Studio unit now available. Full Bathroom, Kitchen, and Closet.

Just renovated, painted and new floors. Non-smoker (everywhere) and must be Shomer. Please call 310-999-2971

• www.thejewishlink.com • info@communitylinks.info

L a rest g r kitch rent.

Los area Ang

r g e aurant a d e hen for In the Feliz a of Los geles

July 12, 2013 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info • www.thejewishlink.com

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July 12, 2013• 323-965-1544 •

• www.thejewishlink.com • info@communitylinks.info

PRO AUTO

BODY SHOP ONE PHONE CALL DOES IT ALL

REP PAIR A x BODY CAR RENT TAL A x CAR LEASING 2 5419 W Pico Blvd Los Angeles, CA

920 S La La Brea Av Ave Los Angeles, CA

323-954-1414

323-932-8862

Y YORAM, O R A M, A AVIV VIV A AND ND A AMIR MIR C COHEN OHEN

July 12, 2013 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info • www.thejewishlink.com

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SPECTACULAR ROCKIES AND RETURN FOR OUR SPECTACULAR PROGRAM

OUR GUESTS COME FOR THE

VAIL, COLORADO JULY 21 - 28, 2013

We Inv ite Yo u to Joi n us for ourRe sort & Spa Ca sca de 12t h Spe ctacul ar Sea son at Th e Vai l

Va il , C O lo ra do

KMR

Welcomes

Rabbi Shea Werner

Scholar in Residence

ie t, C re ek si de V C as ca de Res or

w

La ke Di llon Co lo ra do

C am p K M R

three gourmet meals daily directed by

Michael Schick

Activities and attractions: 24 hour elegant tea room | Luxury accommodations | Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park CO. |ATV & 4X4 Tours, | White Water Rafting | Beautiful 18-mile downhill biking & hiking trais, to Vail & Lake Dillon, & much more... | Full-Service Knowledgeable Concierge | Exciting Day Camp & Babysitting | Daily Minyonim and Shiurim | Cool Weather, Low Humidity

SUMMER 2013 WITH THE WERNER BROTHERS Please visit our website for a complete list of services, activities, amenities & much more.

1-888-567-0100 or 718-778-4241 WWW.KMRTOURS.COM