Community Links Issue 136

Vol. 5 Issue 136

July 31-August 14, 2009

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Features

July 31, 2009

community links • Volume 5 Issue 136

12

8

34

When Those Who Should Help Actually Cause Harm

for Overdoers 14 Advice Fortunately the cure is not a drug or an operation: it's dedicated long-term improved self-care - physical, mental and spiritual.

If you treat a condition in the same manner that 85 to 90 percent of the cases are treated with that condition, you are likely to have success. So, why take the time to think and individualize the treatment for the actual problem?

Alice Bacchini

Dr. Robert J. Rome Ph.D

12

The Never Ending Voice Revolutions may come and go but revelation is eternal. The voice of Sinai continues to proclaim eternal truths that never become passé or Parshas VaEtchanan

16

The Search For Happiness Is this my ego speaking or is it my Divine soul trying to understand why some of us are drivers and others are being driven? www.meaningfullife.com

Rabbi Yossy Goldman

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When Those Who Should Help Actually Cause Harm

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D

8 July

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D

id you ever go to someone to have something repaired and that thing that should have been fixed ends up with even more problems? Within the new age of computer technicians and “by the book” medical providers, this seems to occur more frequently. There are many cases reported where someone with a relatively minor medical problem ends up in a coma. Far removed from medicine, there are similar kinds of problems with those assigned to provide service for cable or satellite television. Often after talking on the phone with “service technicians” from India, you eventually hang up and decide to resolve the problem by yourself after the runaround you get on the phone.

My first run in where someone assigned to heal me actually caused greater harm was when a decade ago I went into the hospital for Appendicitis. While all my symptoms seemed to be symptoms that could only be caused by Appendicitis, the attending physician kept saying that my condition couldn’t be Appendicitis. He pointed to my right side where the pain of a rupturing or diseased appendix would occur. My pain was two inches over from that point. As my pain was outside of the quadrant of the body seen in 85 to 90 percent of the cases with Appendicitis, my problem had to be something else. Surely, I had gall stones or kidney stones, according to the doctor.

I was taken off the list for surgery for almost 24 hours before I eventually had the surgery that was clearly indicated from the outset, if only someone bothered to pay attention to me personally instead of a statistical chart.

There is a relatively new way of performing medical practice, relatively new in that it is only the product of the last couple of decades rather than the thousands of years of medical practice before it. In this new way of practicing, there are algorithms which serve as a guideline to choosing alternative treatments. Roughly, this technique of algorithms has the doctor choose between two or more alternatives. Does the condition present like A or is it like B? Once the doctor decides that it is like A, then there are two more choices. For this algorithmic technique, the doctor makes a series of choices, all based on charts. All of these choices are based on a system where the great majority of cases which look like A succeed with treatment X. While this is not a 100 percent successful way of performing medicine, it greatly reduces the choices that the doctor ends up facing and in the great majority of cases guides the physician to the right remedy.

That would be great if we were facing the statistical odds of Vegas. With the algorithms created for doctors, we

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would tend to beat the odds in Las Vegas and most often have the right solution. However, “most often” does not count when we are dealing with life and death issues. No one who is among the 15 percent group which differs from the majority would ever want to die as a result of the doctor choosing to treat the majority type of a case rather than the minority case represented by the patient.

In my case, I was later told that I am one of about 10 percent of the population that has my appendix positioned to the inside of my gall bladder rather than to the outside. The 10 percent of people like me have pain which occurs in an area about two to three inches over from where the typical patient with Appendicitis experiences pain. The end result of trying to treat the minority case by the algorithm technique was that the attending physician concluded that my condition was not Appendicitis.

The surgeon was then forced to look at possible gall stones, kidney problems, bladder problems, and even more conditions before even considering finally that there was a diseased appendix. I was unnecessarily kept from surgery for close to 24 hours, with a great risk of injury from a possible burst appendix. I was then under the knife in the operating room for an excessive time as the doctor had to eliminate the options caused by the algorithm charts. I then woke up with a five inch scar across my belly.

Nerves and muscle tissue were evidently cut, all to look for gallstones, kidney stones, and other conditions indicated by the statistical charts. It took my close to a year to recover from this more extensive surgery. I could not continue to exercise and began to gain weight. It was 10 years later before I was able to take the weight off. My very health was in danger. This all occurred because a physician chose to do something by the “new book,” rather than closely observe my specific condition, listen to me as I described the pain I was feeling, and do the other kinds of things that had been previously a tradition in medical practice.

Many areas of “helping professions” and “service providers”, far beyond the medical field, are using techniques similar to algorithmic charts in their fields.

A couple of months ago, our satellite television reception went out. We could not gain a satellite signal. I remembered that about two years earlier the same thing had happened and that somewhere in our house was a button that I was able to press that sent the signal to the satellite to gain transmission. I could not remember, however, what this button was called, where it was located, or other such details so I called the service technicians from the

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satellite company. I immediately asked about this certain button and where it might be. The service technician, however, said that before anything could be done by way of specific techniques to regain satellite reception, I would have to shut down the entire system and then reboot it up as that usually corrects the problem. This process of shutting down the system at each of the five satellite terminals in our house at each of the televisions would require almost a half hour. I responded that I did not think that was necessary as I had been advised in a previous conversation about two years earlier what to do and it worked immediately. The satellite service technician said that he was an expert and not I and that company procedure called in this type of situation for first shutting down the system. So I shut down the entire system. He then directed me to about 20 alternatives. At the end of these 20 alternatives and well over an hour and a half of my time, the reception had still not been restored. Finally, I hung up. I spent ten minutes on my own searching for that button which I did find. I pressed the button and good satellite reception resumed.

So involved are various service providers in following the prescribed charts that even when those prescribed charts do not yield success, the technicians still follow them. I may have been on the phone additional hours with this service technician and still not have had an answer. I would have had to wait until that chart finally gave the choice of pressing the appropriate button before the service technician would have given me that option. He even said, “I am supposed to go through all these steps to make sure we did not miss anything.”

During my training as a psychologist, in the years before these statistical charts, the first things you would look at during an evaluation was background history. And the first things you would look at in background history were medical issues such as hearing and vision. I have seen numerous cases of the child who looks inattentive in class being given psychiatric medication for ADHD. When the medication does not work, a larger dose is given. When the larger dose does not work, a different medication was given. I have been asked in a few dozen cases after the treatment with medication has not worked to evaluate dozens of children who appear inattentive. Within my testing, the children are shown to have hearing concerns. I refer them to hearing specialists. In all but one of the cases that I have so referred in the past three years, the children were found to have significant hearing loss. In all of these cases, a quick check of the child’s background history would have shown that he or she had had repeated ear infections. Had a mother brought

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a child into a hospital with the complaint that his ears hurt, various charts would have asked the doctor to do some inquiring and it would have been noticed that the problem was likely related to hearing. However, the family came in with a complaint from the school that the boy was inattentive. The doctors would then follow various charts on what to do with a child with a possible attentional disorder.

What happened to using one’s brain in performing medicine or another service-related task? Whether it is the pediatrician or the child psychiatrist in regard to the hard of hearing children, the attending physician in regard to my appendix, or the service technician in regard to our satellite TV system, there seems to be a push against actually thinking.

Someone has come to the conclusion that it may take too much time to think. If you treat a condition in the same manner that 85 to 90 percent of the cases are treated with that condition, you are likely to have success. So, why take the time to think and individualize the treatment for the actual problem?

In many ways, we have stopped listening to one another. We have approaches that have been brought about by our learning and training. We have political and other partisan-type positions which govern how we look at various things in society. We have certain economic values which put a certain tint on what we see. We have stopped our thinking process. We often act by prejudice, pre-judging the situations by certain values we hold.

Unfortunately, there are consequences for this change in approach from the “old ways.” When the attending physician does not recognize Appendicitis and the appendix bursts, the patient’s life may be at risk. When the pediatrician does not bother to ask questions, the hearing problem persists and the behaviors worsen. Who knows how long I would have had to wait to get the right answer from the service technician for the satellite TV system?

People matter. People’s problems matter. A young child who has behavior problems in school can worsen and his whole life can be colored by the negative experience of having a problem prolonged by the wrong diagnosis and treatment.

We must restore the value of thinking. We must bring back the care and concern that will lead to a successful conclusion. We must not treat people and their conditions as mere statistics.

I was privileged in my Jewish studies as well as in my secular studies to have some of the greatest professors who have written some of the greatest books that I know. For all of them, thinking mattered. Insights mattered. A specialist, for them, was one who had the insight and creativity to find the right solution to the problem in their area of study or field.

Shortcuts are not really short. When we get the wrong conclusion from a doctor and we go back a couple of months later with the same problem, time is not saved. So why bother with these algorithms if they often don’t save time and in a large number of cases they don’t work? I may be wrong, but I think we have elevated expediency to one of our primary values and we have come downplay real expertise.

Expect more from the people who provide you with services. Tell them what ails you. Make them listen to you.

It is important to add a footnote. Three years after my appendix debacle, one of my daughters went into the hospital with the same symptoms. The then attending physician at the same hospital where I experienced my nightmare told us that my daughter “can’t have appendicitis. Her pain was two inches too far over.” Fortunately, we demanded to speak directly with the surgeon on duty. My daughter also had a diseased appendix at risk for bursting. Only through our prior experiences and the knowledge and experience we had gained were we able to bypass the attending physician’s inappropriate reliance on statistical charts.

Expect more from the people who treat you or provide you with services.

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California.

He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.

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One of the explanations offered by Rashi is that Moses is contrasting G-d's voice with human voices. The finite voice of a human being, even a Pavarotti, will fade and falter. It cannot go on forever. But the voice of the Almighty did not end, did not weaken. It remained strong throughout.

Is this all the great prophet had to teach us about the voice of G-d? That it was a powerful baritone? That it resonated?

Is the greatness of the Infinite One that he didn't suffer from shortness of breath, that He didn't need a few puffs of Ventolin? Is this a meaningful motivation for the Jews to accept the Torah?

Moses was the greatest of all prophets. He foresaw what no other prophet could see. Perhaps he saw his people becoming caught up in the civilization of ancient Greece, in the beauty, culture, philosophy and art of the day. And they might question, is Torah still relevant?

Perhaps he foresaw Jews empowered by the Industrial Revolution, where they might have thought Torah to be somewhat backward. Or, maybe it was during the Russian Revolution that faith and religion were positively primitive.

Perhaps Moses saw our own generation with its satellites and space shuttles, television and technology. And he saw young people questioning whether Torah still speaks to them.

And so Moses tells us that the voice that thundered from Sinai was no ordinary voice. The voice that proclaimed the Ten Commandments was a voice that was not only powerful at the time, but one that "did not end." It still rings out, it still resonates, it still speaks to each of us in every generation and in every part of the world.

Revolutions may come and go but revelation is eternal. The voice of Sinai continues to proclaim eternal truths that never become passé or irrelevant.

Honor Your Parents, revere them, look after them in their old age instead of abandoning them to some decrepit old age home. Live moral lives; do not tamper with the sacred fiber of family life, be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Dedicate one day every week and keep that day holy. Turn your back on the rat race and rediscover your humanity and your children. Don't be guilty of greed, envy, dishonesty or corruption.

Are these ideas and values dated? Are these commandments tired, stale or irrelevant? On the contrary. They speak to us now as perhaps never before. The G-dly voice has lost none of its strength, none of its majesty. The mortal voice of man declines and fades into oblivion.

Politicians and spin-doctors come and go, but the heavenly sound reverberates down the ages.

Torah is truth and truth is forever. The voice of G-d shall never be stilled. •

PARSHAS VA’ETCHANAN 12 J u l y

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By Rabbi Yossy Goldman • Rabbi Goldman is Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, and President of the South African Rabbinical Association.

W

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Advice Overdoers for

Y

ou never have enough time to get everything done. You miss meals or just grab something on the go that may not be very nutritious, but you still put on weight easily. You push yourself to keep going when all you want to do is lie down, but once in bed spend your time anxiously going over the concerns of the day. Coffee or sweet food and drink gets you through when your energy droops, and there isn't enough time to relax, pray or meditate, never mind enjoy yourself having fun with the children or going for a nice walk in the countryside. Your energy levels are low and you wake up exhausted in the morning. And things are getting worse.

These symptoms might have been written off as a psychological problem in the past, but these days, forward-thinking scientists have identified a new hormone disorder- adrenal fatigue- caused by stress, inadequate nutrition and dependence on stimulants in place of real energy. Whereas over-eating and under-activity are linked with imbalance of the hormone insulin, the under-eating and over-active lifestyle leads to imbalance of the hormone cortisol, which keeps us going through the day. We have all heard about the growing problem of obesity, but how many of us aware of the similarly dangerous and widespread problem of early decline from pushing yourself too hard on not enough energy? People can see your size, but they cannot see how tired you are, especially if you don't let them. The worst thing is, many women consider this almost a virtue, rather than a dangerous way of life. Yet it really can put so much stress on the body that illnesses take over and organs start to fail.

Fortunately the cure is not a drug or an operation: it's dedicated long-term improved self-care - physical, mental and

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spiritual. Doctors don't talk about spirituality much, but an overview of the recommended approaches to improving your adrenal health, and making yourself stronger, and more energized, shows a remarkable correlation between the best of modern holistic medical care and the advice of certain Jewish sages - ancient and modern. And many of these recommendations are either very similar to spiritual practices, or would be better accomplished with a spiritual approach, in my humble view. For instance, remembering that Hashem runs the world is a great solution in itself to stress- and it reminds us that trying to run our own little worlds on our own is not a worthy, admirable thing to do, so much as an egotistical and wrong-headed one.

As a Noahide, I am not surprised that the health books I am reading say the same things as the Rambam, Rabbi Nachman and Rabbi Brody - that's how I know they are good books! Medicine and health advice goes through fads and trends, but some basic principles remain true, and it is my belief that sticking to those principles from the start would enable us all to avoid harming our own hormonal systems through abuse. Over the years, I have noticed many times that what really works for everyday health problems is prayer, avoiding dependence on doctors, and staying focused on good health practices through a sense of spiritual obligation.

Yet as a sufferer of adrenal burnout, I know how easy it is not to realize what you are doing to yourself until things get bad. Modern American culture encourages us to follow the “work ethic”, not the “obligation to Hashem to take care of ourselves as well as our families” ethic. The yetzer hara tells us we are doing good when actually we are doing bad. But then we realize, and we learn and do better.

Here is a list of the basic requirements for people in a state of exhaustion with the symptoms of exhaustion, anxiety, stress, overwork, bad sleeping patterns and a poor diet. I hope to expand on them and explain more about what to do, both spiritually and in other practical ways, in further articles.

1. Eat natural, nutritious, balanced meals, including breakfast.

2. Exercise in moderation, not excessively, and not to the point of exhaustion.

3. Spend time each day in relaxing meditation and prayer.

4. Sleep as much as you need to - allow 8 hours in bed.

5. Avoid alcohol and sweet drinks, and phase out caffeine.

6. Avoid sugar, and eat nutritious non-sugary snacks between meals to boost your energy instead.

7. Practice deep breathing several times a day.

8. Avoid junk food, chemical additives, and any other chemicals or toxins, and breathe fresh country air instead, as much as possible.

9. Do something light-hearted and enjoyable every dayhave fun, be happy (it's a mitzva!)

10. Remember that taking care of yourself is an obligation to Hashem, not a selfish way of life. It's much more selfish to neglect yourself and damage your health, especially if others are dependent on you.

If you are exhausted in the ways I have described, just making one or more of these changes could improve your wellbeing greatly, almost right away. Please do make the time to do that now, especially if you are a mother. And don't forget to ask for help- from your husband, your family, and most of all Hashem. You are not on your own, and now is the time to stop acting like it- taking on too much is not heroic, it's letting the yetzer walk all over you. Just remembering twenty times a day that the world is on God's shoulders, not yours, can make all the difference. Do that while taking a few deep breaths, and you're on the right road already.

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The Search for Happiness 16 J u l y

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L

Tuesday dawn, July 7, 2009 –

and in Jorge Chavez International Airport in Lima, Peru. After eight hours in the air flying southwest, from New York to Lima, I finally disembark, marveling yet again at a new country I have never visited, with a culture and language of their own, yet people not unlike anywhere else, who shed the same tears and cast the same smiles as we do in New York and elsewhere in the world.

Something strange going on at this airport. Airport officials, vendors, attendants and just about everyone working in the terminals is wearing a surgical mask! It feels like being in a hospital. Are they allergic to Americans? Are they hypochondriacs, or are they protecting themselves from infections of the profane world?

I discover that none of the above is correct. It’s swine disease that they are protecting themselves against. So why the heck aren’t they distributing these masks to all of us?

It seems weird that the traveling passengers walk around unprotected while all the “officials” are covered in masks, as if saying that “we need to protect ourselves for you alien carriers?” like in some surreal science fiction movie.

Oh well, it is after all 6:30 in the morning, and after a grueling all night flight, I may be dreaming…

A driver takes me to my hotel. Rumor has it that in Lima many people have drivers, and even the drivers have drivers… I’m wondering whether I got a driver or a driver of a driver. Is this my ego speaking or is it my Divine soul trying to understand why some of us are drivers and others are being driven?

Arrive at Libertador Hotel, in Lima’s quiet financial district – an elegant place with spacious suites, good showers and comfortable beds (just in case you were planning a trip here and need a recommendation).

On the lobby’s big screen I see the live broadcast of the Michael Jackson memorial, being beamed across the globe on CNN and other cable networks. They estimate that two billion people are watching this. Two billion.

Throughout the day this memorial was played and replayed again and again. And when that became too exhausting, the programmers began feeding the airwaves with a non-stop diet of interviews. Every doctor, chauffeur and plastic surgeon – every possible consultant and expert – was marched on the screen, in a steady farcical flow of one pundit more ridiculous than the previous one, speculating on everything from Jackson’s cause of death

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to his parenting, from his skin to his nose, medical advisors discussing various medications, analyzing rumors and speculations, with about as much wisdom that anyone watching could equally dispense.

I came to Lima to participate in a conference on Happiness. Is this – the addictive display of Michael Jackson’s life – making people happy? I understand that his music and dance – as a brilliant performer – lifted many hearts, helped people escape for a while from their troubles. I see the people crying over Jackson’s untimely death. But have we taken this “celebrity worship” too far? Are people playing out their own lives through celluloid heroes, replacing their own challenges, escaping from their own struggles, by watching the “movie” of other lives?

And what about sensitivity to those that passed? Is there a point when we can leave Michael Jackson rest in peace?

His bizarre life, all under the spotlight, must have been difficult enough. “Leave him be, and go live your own life,” was one of my many thoughts in a Lima lobby.

It’s just staggering to think about the amount of hours the networks dedicated to this story. Even more staggering is the amount of hours people everywhere have spent – wasted – on watching these displays. Is there any practical benefit coming out of all this? Are relationships being mended, marriages strengthened, families built, psyches healed? Is anyone becoming more refined, more giving, more anything – besides for more informed about Michael’s intimate details?

Trust me, I’m not being judgmental and critical. I see the allure and can easily fall into the same addictive trap.

That is the hypnotic power of the visual. What is even more hypnotic is when these images and stories are being watched by almost everyone and everywhere you go. Did I come to Lima to become educated about mass hysteria and mass hypnosis?

My thoughts turn to the words of my colleague, David Fischman, who shared the podium with me in this conference on the nature of happiness.

David is an acclaimed author, having penned five books, including The Secret of the Seven Seeds: A Parable of Leadership and Life (Jossey-Bass, 2006). A civil engineer by training, David is a well-known and highly respected personality in Peru. He is dedicated, as he shared with me, to use his skills to serve and better people’s lives.

This conference, which was held in a large, packed hall in Lima, was moderated by a famous Peruvian sports an-

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nouncer, who asked us each two questions: “What is happiness?” and “How does one find happiness?” After each question we each had thirty minutes to respond.

Among the many fascinating studies and statistics that Mr. Fischman presented, one struck me in particular: by age 10 the average child in the Western world has seen one million advertisements. Denmark, Fischman pointed out, was rated in a recent study as the country with the happiest people, and is also the country with the least amount of public advertising. Fischman suggested that perhaps happiness is directly linked to the amount of options we are offered.

Those with higher exposure to advertisements hawking all types of wares, covet more and are therefore become more miserable not be able to fulfill all their desires. In Denmark, where they are not that exposed to advertisements and all the options they offer, people are more content with what they have. Confirming the idiom: Happiness results from being at peace with wanting what you have, instead of having what you want.

So where does that leave Americans, who are inundated more than most with an insatiable diet of products and services? With 24/7 cable and internet platforms streaming images of Michael Jackson experts or whatever. How happy are people in the most prosperous country that ever existed (the United States)? How content are those most exposed – addicted, is more like it – to the sophisticated marketing machines, pumping a unquenchable diet of pictures and stories assaulting our psyches, violating our souls, convincing us that we need this and that, opening us to options we could never have fantasized on our own? You can imagine that the US doesn’t come out on top of the happiness scale. (But don’t feel so bad: Pakistan and Iraq rated lower).

So we are addicted consumers, who feel freer than ever in our endless choices, and our ability to buy anything we want. But are we actually free, or are we buying into a very manipulative marketing force – a modern-day, sophisticated version of “snake oil salesmen?”

And how does this bode for our relationships? Since we have before us an infinite menu of options, with the delusion that they are all available to us, how committed can we ever be to one person?

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Interesting isn’t it? Is it possible that our success and comforts are also our undoing? Can it be that our unprecedented high standard of living, our technologies and ease of access to anything we can possible desire – and even to things that we would never have dreamed of desiring – can also be the cause of our misery?

But before this makes anyone too, ahem… unhappy or depressed, please bear in mind that happiness is not a result of how much we possess or don’t possess. True, there are those who have very little but are very happy, and those that own much and are miserable. But there are also people with little who are very unhappy and prosperous people who are very happy.

What I shared at the conference is that happiness is not a verb, but a noun. It is not driven by actions, acquisitions – going out and buying something. Objects can make us happy for a while, but happiness is a state of being. And each of us is inherently a happy person. We were born happy. Just witness children. And then due to sad attitudes of those around us we learn to become unhappy, and the inherent happiness in our souls gets buried beneath layers of despondency driven by many forces – insecurities,

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fears, and yes, also all those options that marketers are selling us, promising… happiness.

The key to happiness is thus accessing your inner self and realizing that whatever you acquire in life is a blessing and an opportunity. A blessing: a humble recognition that despite your efforts, your gifts are blessings that should never be taken for granted and never seen as a sole result of “my own strength and personal power” (Deuteronomy 8:17).

An opportunity to use your gifts and resources to serve – to help others and improve your corner of the world.

Instead of being a victim, standing on the receiving end of all the “news,” “ads” and “messages” being streamed into your brain and heart, recognize that your happiness springs from within, and that all the options that come your way are meant to be used to fulfill your higher calling.

So prosperity is a blessing. Our high standard of living a gift. Our technologies and comforts an opportunity – a spiritual opportunity to sublimate the universe in which we live.

How much exposure, then, do we allow ourselves and our children to the “merchants” and “peddlers” of the world?

The less the better. Especially in our earlier, formative years, we need to first build up our inner sense of purpose – our internal compass – before we can navigate well. At that stage it is critical not to be overwhelmed by the barrage of external “noise” of money and the marketplace, which drowns out and interferes with the “subtle” sounds of our own souls. We must first discover the end before learning about the means, lest we confuse the two. Before we expose ourselves to the “voices” out there – and G-d knows, there are many such voices clamoring for our attention – we must first discover our “inner” voice.

In the world in which we live we inevitably are exposed to far too much “information” –coming at us from every direction: Our streets, screens, stadiums, telephones, mobile devices, books, newspapers, tee shirts, billboards. The list goes on and on. We therefore ought to bear in mind both indispensable messages: The more you minimize your exposure the happier you will be. The sages tell us: Be satisfied with the minimum (mistapek b’muet), and: Who is wealthy? the one satisfied with his lot.

On the other hand, whatever does come your way – and whatever you do acquire in your life pursuits – always remember: These are gifts and opportunities bestowed upon you not merely for your personal gain; but to transform your world into a sublime environment.

Best regards from Lima, Peru. !

Courtsy of www.meaningfullife.org

19 J u l y

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21 J u l y

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by Rabbi Yossy Goldman

PARSHAS EIKEV 22 J u l y

31-August 14,2009

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Man does not live by bread alone.

A famous line (it even figured prominently in an ad for a burger chain some years ago), but what does it mean?

The verse comes from this week's Torah reading and is a reference to the miraculous manna, which fell from heaven daily during the Jewish people's sojourn in the wilderness. The conclusion of the verse is that "rather, by the utterance of G-d's mouth does man live." Thus, it is reminding us about the true source of human sustenance.

Contrary to popular belief, it is neither our earthly toil nor the sweat of our brow nor all those conferences, meetings and sales seminars that ensure our success. The reality is that it is G-d who sustains us and looks after us, in the very same way as our ancestors trekking through the desert were totally dependent on Him for their daily bread. Wealth is a G-dly gift. At the end of the day, it is not our business acumen alone that provides our daily bread, but the blessings from above which endow our efforts with success.

Ask anyone in sales how often their best laid plans and pitches have come to naught and then, out of the blue, a big order comes in with little or no effort. Of course, it's not the rule, and we must be prepared to put in effort if we are to succeed. But when it does happen, it reminds us that there are higher forces beyond our control at work.

But there's another meaning to this verse as well. Man does not live by bread alone. The human spirit is such that we crave more than bread. Human beings are never satisfied with money or materialism alone.

Money is important but we cannot live by money exclusively. What about job satisfaction? I know a number of individuals in our community who willingly gave up lucrative positions for less rewarding ones because they found their work unstimulating. They were making lots of cash but there was no emotional reward.

I also know people who have it all financially but who are

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nonetheless unhappy people. They are very successful and very miserable. The successes we achieve do not guarantee our happiness. After we've bought the house of our dreams and our fantasy sports car and the latest cell phones, laptops and DVDs, we tire of them all. For satisfaction to be lasting it must be more than material, it must be spiritual. We need more than bread and money; we need stimulation and a sense of meaningful achievement. We need to know that our lives have purpose and that somehow we have made a difference. We want to be assured that our work is productive and will have lasting value.

They tell the story of a prisoner in a Russian labor camp whose job it was to turn a heavy wheel attached to a wall.

For twenty-five years the prisoner worked at his backbreaking labor. He assumed that this wheel must be attached to a mill on the other side of the wall; perhaps he was milling grain, or pumping water that irrigated many fields. In his mind's eye he saw the plentiful crops and the sacks of milled grain feeding thousands of people. After twenty-five years of hard labor, when he was about to be released, the prisoner asked to be shown the apparatus behind the prison wall. There was nothing there! The wheel was just a wheel -- all his "work" had served no useful purpose. The man collapsed in a dead faint, absolutely devastated. His life's work had been in vain.

We have a deep-seated need to know that our life's work is purposeful, physically and spiritually. When we understand that every good deed is attached to a complex spiritual apparatus, that our every action meshes with a systematic structure of cosmic significance, then our lives become endowed with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.

We desperately need to know that, in some way, our work is helping others -- that we are making a contribution to society beyond our own selfish needs. Then, we live. Then we are happy.

Man does not live by bread alone. We simply cannot.

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Babysitter available Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part-time hours, at your location. Excellent references. call: 323-651-9389.

••• Orthodox, female college student looking for part-time baby-sitting job. I am responsible, have a car and great references. Please call Raizel: 310-936-8978 ••• Young and energetic Grandmother available to babysit or be a mother's helper, days and evenings available. Great driving record, can do carpool pick ups and errand running.

Kind and experienced with my own eight grandchildren and working for other moms in our community, great with newborns through teens. Fantastic cooking abilities and willing to work for $10/hr. Speaks fluent English, Hebrew and French. Call Miriam for a wonderful babysitter/nanny/light cleaning/heavy cooking/ errand running and a great attitude: (310) 358-9666 or (310) 286-1866 ••• Experienced Aide for Special Needs students

Orthodox, female college student looking for part-time position working with special needs Student in a classroom setting. Excellent references. Call Raizel: 310-936-8978 CAREER TRAINING PROGRAMS Are you Unemployed and collecting Unemployment Benefits? FULL Financial Aid is available to unemployed individuals. Receive career training at NO COST to YOU. These funds are available through President Obama’s Economic Stimulus Package. Act now while funds are available. Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute has several Nationally Accredited Career Training Programs. Please call 323-966-5444. Ask for Judy or Jesse. www.LAORT.edu

Guest House and Room for Rent Charming Guest House with private patio, furnished, 360 sq ft, Kosher kitchenette & private bathroom in Carthy Circle. Utilities included, no smoking, no pets, references please. Call David at Home: 323-934-4826. Cell: 323-687-4154 Room for rent with private bathroon, separate entrance, laundry and kosher kitchen available.

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Guest House for Rent Beverly/La Brea, $1,050/mo. Large, Bright, Clean and Newly Remodeled. Full Bathroom, Kitchenette and Private Entrance, Shomer Shabbos (323) 687-3698 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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For Rent Private guesthouse with its own private gated entrance, centrally located in the Pico/Robertson area. Includes: Full kitchen, bathroom, furniture, air conditioning, heating, and private patio. Looking for female only with no pets!

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Apartment Available in the Pico Area: Remodeled 3 Bedroom 2 Bath Apartment available on the first floor of a 6 unit building. Hardwood floors, garbage disposal, dishwasher and stove included. Laundry room on premises. Walking distance to Shuls, Shopping, and Restaurants.

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Room for rent for woman only, beautiful garden, Pico/Robertson, Private entrance, Shomer Shabbos, Call Sarah at 818-451-5622 REAL ESTATES OPPORTUNITIES 1) 10 unit pocket listing in West Hollywood Near La Cienega, Melrose and Santa Monica Blvd.

Unit mix is 6 one bedroom one bath and 4 two bedrooms one bath price $1,870,000

2) A shopping strip in Orange County with great frontage and big lot....Cap rate is 6.5 near downtown and anker national business. price $1,100,000 3) 23 unit apartment building North of Pico near

FOR LEASE, BRAUM REAL ESTATE www.BraumRE.com LUXURY APTS IN VALLEY VILLAGE Oversized Floorplans. Laundry on every floor.

Security Parking/Entrances. Central AC. Hrdwd Floors. Elevator. 1+1.5 $1,150 2+2 $1,475 3+2 $1,795 1 MONTH FREE with 1 YEAR LEASE. Call Shimon @ 818.339.6238 ••• 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT IN PICO ROBERTSON Hardwood floors, AC, Full kitchen, Carpet in bedroom, large closets, close to shuls and shopping, 8843 Alcott.

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Call Margalit 310-210-3038. Visit www.MillerRealEstateSales.com DUPLEX FOR RENT Beautiful large three bedroom duplex available in Carthay Square. Updated kitchen, 2.5 bathrooms wit private master bathroom, laundry room, central air, yard, plenty of street parking (permit). Pico and Point View $2800.Please call Joshua 323- 384-8286 SALES PERSON WANTED Looking for highly motivated sales person to work on commission. Create your own hours. Work from home. For further information please email us at info@community links.info Robertson Blvd. cap rate 5.5 and grm 11.5 Good unit mix, big lot and very spacious units For more information contact Daniel Dayani Realtor Associate at 310-279-2991 or e-mail to moriahproperties@gmail.com

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32 J u l y

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SERVICES A Time for Dance SUMMER MINI SESSION. Offering ballet, tap, jazz, drama, modern, yoga, gymnastics for girls and women, plus awesome boys’ classes - gymnastics for ages 3-up and kickboxing for ages 6 and up. Locations in the La Brea and Pico area. www.atime4dance.com (323) 404-0827 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Channa Tellis Dress Maker & Expert Alterations with 40 yrs of experience, also available for Sewing Classes.

Please Call 323-933-5960 or 323-348-8786

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Electrolysis/Laser Hair Removal Robin Schultz Ackerman will help you eliminate unwanted hair! Doctor referred over 10 years in the community. Reasonable rates, flexible hours open Sundays by appt.

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Music Ariel Louk - "Because A Simcha Should Be Happy."

Orchestra / One Man Band. Weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Special Occasions. Quality music, competitive prices. References available. For more information, please call Ariel Louk: Cell: 323-997-2647 Tel: 310-659-9346 Email: loukmusic@sbcglobal.net ••• Eli's One Man Band for all your simchas and special events.

Late Summer Special! Bar Mitzvah's - $425 For more info Please call Eli Stiefel (310) - 462 - 5368 or email elistiefel@gmail.com

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Wigs Headlines / European Wigs • Wash & Set • Hair Accessories • Jewelry • Ear Piercing. Call Chaya Suri @ 323-930-1389

PARENTING WITH WISDOM What do I do when my child (fill in your least acceptable behavior)? Take the best parenting class in town to learn how to deal with misbehavior, discouragement and poor school performance. In addition, acquire all the skills necessary to raise confident, independent, and responsible children. Appropriate for ages 0-5, 6-11, and teens. Individual or group sessions. Affordable. Call Irine Schweitzer, LCSW for more information, at 818 754-4501.

NEW KEHILLA The Tehachapi Torah Center Presents 'The Recent Complex Creation' Torah/ Science Reconciliation, available on Amazon or www.pearlmancta.com/TheComplexCreation...htm. The Tehachapi Torah Centered Community is suited for families, individuals, and existing Torah organizations. Healthy, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly.

Tehachapi, CA. 93561, 90 miles/minutes from route 14 at 5. Twice the Home for Half the Money. Homes Priced from $90k, Lots 30k. Lease Apartments from $450, Houses $800. Learn More! Contact Roger M. Kernkehilla@att.net or call 310-948-5137 www.pearlmancta.com/kerncountykehilla.htm

Recession-Proof Careers In just 8 months we will train you in a recession-proof career, and help you find an exciting job in: • Pharmacy Technician • Medical Assistant • Medical Office Management • Accounting • Administrative Assistant • Business Management • Computer Graphics & Desktop Publishing • Computer Aided Design & Drafting (Auto Cad) Call Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute 1-800-998-2678 LA ORT is Non-Profit organization. Financial Aid, Scholarship and Transportation assistance are available.

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33 J u l y

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Calfornia Kosher Kitchen Grilled Chicken with Lemon and Oregano Engagements Adina Saltz & Yossi Elefant Rivkah Elianna Elster & Yirachmiel Weiss Ariella Rieber & Shaya Larkin

Births - Boys Shayna and Mendy Bukiet Berele and Racheli Wilhelm

Births - Girls Debbie and Dan Banafsheha

Ingredients • 1 tablespoon grated lemon zest • 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice • 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh oregano • 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for grates • Coarse salt and ground pepper • 4 chicken halves (1 1/2 lb each) or 2 whole chickens • 4 lemons, halved crosswise • Oregano sprigs (optional)

Directions

FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2009 Light Candles at: 7:38 pm •••

FRIDAY, AUGUST 7, 2009 Light Candles at: 7:31 pm •••

FRIDAY, AUGUST 14, 2009 Light Candles at: 7:24 pm

36 J u l y

31-August 14,2009

Marinade: In a small bowl, whisk together lemon zest and juice, oregano, oil, 2 teaspoons coarse salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper. Divide marinade between 2 large resealable plastic bags. Place 2 chicken halves in each bag; shake to coat. Marinate at room temperature 30 minutes, turning bags occasionally.

Preheat grill to medium; lightly oil grates. Remove chicken from marinade, and pat dry with paper towels.

Place chicken, skin side up, on grill. Cover and cook, until lightly browned and cooked through, about 20 minutes.

Turn chicken over; cover and cook until well browned, 10 to 15 minutes (an instant-read thermometer should register 175 degrees.when inserted into thickest part of meat, avoiding bone). If chicken is browning too quickly, move to cooler parts of grill or turn grill to low heat.

Transfer chicken to a cutting board. Tent with foil; let rest 10 minutes. Meanwhile, place lemon halves on grill, cut side down; cook until slightly charred, 8 to 10 minutes. Cut chicken pieces in half; serve with grilled lemon halves, and, if desired, garnish with oregano sprigs.

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