March 2013 | Community Spirit by Community Spirit Magazine

March 2013

Contents

PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud CREATIVE Director Ramond Walker

Features:

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Steve Moeller, Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Deniece Adsit, Blythe Fowler, Dr. Kevin Nieman, Jim Burkett

Is Heaven Real?

www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com

A Tribute to Larry Payton

12-24

Annual Senior Section

Redeemer Covenant Fight’s Hunger

ORU Selects New President

Christian Businessmen Meet Weekly

Qdoba Raises Money for Nicaragua

Celebrate Recovery

COLUMNS: 9

Pet Corner

Matters of the Heart with Deniece Adsit

The Biggest Loser w/ Danny Cahill

Randy Cowell

Floral Haven

Marriage that Last w/ Dr. Kevin Nieman

TULSA Sales Office 10019 S. 69th E. Ave. Tulsa, OK 74133 phone: (918) 307-2323 fax: (918) 528-6209 Distribution Communityspiritmagazine.com is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Communityspiritmagazine.com is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Communityspiritmagazine.com or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine

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Stacy S.

extraordinary

delivery.

An accident left Stacy confined to a wheelchair. But it was no accident that she chose Hillcrest Hospital South for the delivery of her second daughter. The nurses and physicians at Hillcrest Hospital South had the expertise to handle the challenges of someone giving birth with spinal cord injuries. They provided the compassionate care that Stacy needed after she was admitted at only 8 months. During her month of bedrest, the staff went above and beyond to make sure the whole family was well taken care of until they all returned safely home. To learn more about Stacy’s life-changing experience at Hillcrest Hospital South, visit ChangingLivesAtHillcrest.com

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feature story

Is Heaven Really For Real??

eaven. Man has both longed for it and scoffed at its existence. Thousands of people have returned from “near death” experiences only to have their stories laughed at by those who claim it is simply a dream re-enacting what they have been taught to believe. Such near death experiences or NDEs are even disbelieved by Christians who point out how many do not match with scripture or because some are experienced by non-Christians. Still, when one happens which closely coincides with our beliefs, we can’t help but sit up and notice. One of the best examples is described in detail in the book, Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back, by Todd Burpo. The book, published by Thomas Nelson in 2010, quickly hit the New York Times best-seller list and remains on the bookshelves to this day. The book is written by a Wesleyan pastor, Todd Burpo, who graduated right up the road at Oklahoma Wesleyan University. Burpo and his wife gradually begin to believe that their son made a visit to Heaven during a massive appendicitis

attack when he was only 4 years old. It is quick to read, but its message will have you thinking about it for days or weeks afterward. As opposed to other “I went to Heaven and returned” books, this book is truly captivating, because of the age of the person and the slow, innocent way he gradually shared what he encountered. His parents were completely skeptical at first, but as the memories began to surface, pieces were so on target and therefore astonishing that his message would forever change their lives. For instance, he told them he had met his sister, a baby who had miscarried before Colton was born. It was a bit of a family secret that they had of course never shared with Colton. Colton told his father many details about Todd’s father, details they hadn’t even thought of since years before Colton was born. Among other things, he even described the separate rooms Todd and his wife were in and what they were doing when he “died.” As the details come out, Colton expresses a spectacular view of Heaven, of God, Jesus and even the Holy Spirit. And with each description, Todd lays out scriptures which directly match up to his son’s account. The book will grab even the worst skeptic, making you wonder if Colton truly saw the Throne of God and sat in the lap of Jesus. For the believer, it confirms our hopes and for the unbeliever, it forces them to either take pause or run even harder from the truth. Heaven is for Real and Colton knows it. Download it on your Kindle or pick it up at your Christian bookstore. Read it and it will brighten your step and make

you long even harder for Jesus to come quickly. A Few Scriptures about Heaven: Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. John 14:2 “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” Revelation 5:9-13 “And they sang a new song, saying, “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.” Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 22:1-5 “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

march 2013 Communit ysp ir itmagaz ine .com

larry payton tribute

Celebrity Attractions President Larry Payton Dies at age 64

he loss was as tragic as it was unexpected. Larry Payton, founder and president of Celebrity Attractions unexpectedly passed away Monday, February 18th at St. Francis Hospital due to an illness. Larry was a tireless worker for the Lord, a defender of the faith and an ardent supporter of Community Spirit Magazine. A “Kingdom” unifier, Larry was the first person to be called when a cause or event needed to be coordinated across denominational lines. He was both detailed and creative, a friend of all in need. The announcement by his family shocked all who read it. However in true Payton fashion, it pointed to the hope of an eternal life shared by believers in Jesus Christ. Larry Payton, his wife Kay Payton, his son Drew Payton and his brother Ed Payton have kept the lights of Broadway burning bright out west as the leadership of Celebrity Attractions. Larry and Kay started Celebrity Attractions in 1983 and are now celebrating 30 years of bringing the best of Broadway and more to Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Little Rock, Springfield, Amarillo, Abilene and Lubbock. In addition, he was actively involved in the Independent Presenters Network comprised of over 50 markets throughout the United States that present and produce shows. Larry also invested in several shows for Broadway and the road, including: ONCE, KINKY BOOTS, Matthew Bourne’s SLEEPING BEAUTY, JEKYLL & HYDE, WONDERLAND, 9 TO 5, GREASE, Monty Python’s SPAMALOT on Broadway, the road & in London, PETER PAN starring Cathy Rigby, LEGALLY BLONDE, THE COLOR PURPLE, MOVIN’ OUT, 8

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March 2013

BOMBAY DREAMS and THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE for which he won a Tony® Award. Over the years, Larry’s dedication to presenting quality family entertainment and growing a business from the ground up were acknowledged by both The Broadway League as the recipient of the 2006 Outstanding Achievement in Presenter Management Award and by the Metropolitan Tulsa Chamber of Commerce as the recipient of the 1997 Small Business Person of the Year Award. Larry was an active member of Parkview Baptist Church in Tulsa where he was a deacon and served on the church council. He also served on the Lifeway Board of Trustees and was secretary for the Retail Committee and served on the Financial Review Committee. Lifeway is the largest Christian Retailer in the United States. He was actively involved in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes since college and served on the Board of Directors for the State of Oklahoma. FCA is one of the few Christian Organizations which is still active in public schools. Larry served on the Board of Southwest Baptist University for which he was also an alumnus. A supporter of education, he was a former employee of the University of Tulsa as the student activities director. It has been the custom of Community Spirit Magazine to write about local Christian heroes and we have written about Larry many times. Thank you Larry, for your example of a life well lived. We have a better understanding of Jesus because we knew you.

THOUGHTS ABOUT LARRY “No man has invested more into me, the FCA ministry and my family than Larry Payton the past 20 years. His financial assistant to FCA in Northeast Oklahoma was tremendous, but more tremendous was his love for me, my wife, my kids and my walk with Christ. He challenged me in every area of my life to make a difference for eternity and I will forever be grateful. Larry personally mentored me for more than 5 years in my work with FCA . Larry’s support allowed hundreds of coaches and athletes to come to hear about Christ, attend a FCA Summer Camp as well as receive FCA Bibles because of his assistance. He will be missed but never forgotten!” Chris Kaiser, Area Director, Fellowship of Christian Athletes “Larry was not only a good man, but was a godly man who influenced us all to a closer relationship with Jesus. In addition, our city lost a bright star.” Coach Dave Rader, Former Head Football Coach, University of Tulsa

R. Scott Nicholson, DVM, is a respected Broken Arrow veterinarian. Dr. Nicholson’s clinic is located at 816 S. Elm and he can be contacted at 918-906-6074

HOW TO TRAIN A NEW PUPPY

Christmas has passed and some of you have a new canine “family member” in your family. A puppy instinctively knows how to do three things; eat, sleep and play. It is in the play mode that training occurs. There are many effective ways to train puppies. This is the way I have adopted. I will say that even using my instructions each pup will require variations or emphasis on different steps of it’s training. You know that children learn at different rates, the same applies to pups. Before we begin the steps to training I would caution those of you that have included a toy breed into your family to be forewarned. Tiny dogs such as the Chihuahua are cute. The problem lies in the fact that a six month old Chihuahua is no larger than a two month old Golden Retriever. By nature, most of us resist correcting a little dog that doesn’t look much different than a puppy that just left it’s momma to come join your family. Before you know it the pup has developed some irritating habits that will require much more time to correct that a two month old puppy. I would suggest not to wrestle with your pup, no matter what the breed, when you first get him. Wait until he knows when to stop before you let him get started. Your pup’s first trick is to learn his name. Then you can precede every command with his name to get his attention which especially important in a multiple pet households. The second is the, no, command. This is easier to teach if done in “dog language”. When a dog wants to emphasize a point it growls, it doesn’t whine. Don’t baby-talk your command. A firm, low voice will help your puppy understand that he is to stop what he is doing. If he fails to respond or ignores you completely pick him up, gently turn him over on his back and hold him there until he quits squirming. You may want to wear a long-sleeved shirt to do this. This maneuver is called submission training. It may be used all during training when your pup defies/ignores your authority. The third trick is sit. This is not a parlor trick, rewarded after the bottom hits the floor then pooch is off and running after receiving his snack. I would advise to begin this training in a corner to make it easier to grab him if he decides school is out and wants to take off. Say his name then say, “sit”. Do not push his bottom down, that will usually make them want to push up, not sit down. Sweep the rear legs out from under him, begin petting him from his shoulders down toward the tail praising him for sitting. If your pup is strong willed, after the petting give him a treat. Just know, if you begin with treats you will have to wean him off of them later. After pup realizes his feet are going to be swept out he will begin to sit on his own. Then you begin to give a hand signal that means sit. When he will hold sit for about 90 seconds it is time for the first test. Give the signal and command sit then repeat it right in his face as you stand up. Remove your hand, say, “come”, and praise him when he does.

Over the next days extend “sit” to 90 seconds before taking a small step back. If he gets up before you say, “come”, make a loud noise (ahhh!!!) then calmly place him back at ground zero and repeat, “sit”. After he holds at one step make it two, three, etc. until you can back all the way across the living room. Now it is time to go outside. Begin at the fence and over the next days extend your steps, one step at a time. After you get to the middle of the yard begin extending time past 90 seconds so that by the time you are all the way across the yard he will wait for 5 minutes before you tell him, “come”. I know it takes time but there is a reason for all of this so bear with me. I should insert here that I don’t teach sit/stay. If he is at sit and he isn’t supposed to move until I say come he already is staying. Now it is time for his first BIG test. Until now all learning has been in “school” when responding to his command. One night when he gets up to go get a drink of water. Let him get half way across the room then call his name. He must turn and make eye contact. Then command, “sit”. If he doesn’t, don’t keep repeating his name or the command. Eventually he will sit. This will be the only time I condone “people food” but on this first successful pop quiz, take him to the kitchen and get him a treat he never gets. He has got to know he just did “the bomb”! Begin repeating it all over the house but never the same place two times in a row. When he is 100% responsive it’s time to go outside again. Let him do his puppy thing all over the yard. When he has calmed down to a slow sniff call his name. When you make eye contact command, “sit”. If he does it’s back to the kitchen for a treat and here is why. He will get out some day. He may be 8 years old when he does but, imagine running through the neighborhood and you see him 5 houses down. You call his name, when he turns make your hand signal and command “sit”! Then “come”! You just saved yourself a 2 mile run and maybe his life. By the way, it would be time for another trip to the kitchen. “Heel” is also repetitive but more subtle. Put the leash on and drop it on the floor. After he accepts that pick it up. If pup tries to get loose follow until he realizes he is not going to be hung by the neck until dead. Begin following him around when he accepts that take a slight banana turn and command, “heel”. Gradually increase the turn until you both can make a U-turn. Then start out in the back yard. If he wants to pull, gently pop the leash, tell him to heel and turn around so that he now is behind you instead of in front of you. When he catches on go to the front yard, then on the sidewalk to next door, turn around and come back. Continue extending the length of walks until he will go wherever you go, as long as you want to go. “Down” is the most difficult. Good luck, I am out of paper.” March 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

cover story

DO ANGELS HAVE

Wings? A

ngels are mysterious creatures. In fact, the Bible portrays angels as being unique servants of God, often bringing people things they need, guiding them in the right direction, encouraging them and even protecting them from harm. It is also evident that at least sometimes, angels “carry” people to heaven. The poor beggar, Lazarus for instance, was carried by angels to “Abraham’s side”. Maybe this scene was on the mind of the slave couple Wallace and Minerva Willis as they pinned the old spiritual, “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” Swing low, sweet chariot, Comin’ for to carry me home I looked over Jordan and what did I see, Comin’ for to carry me home! A band of angels comin’ after me, Comin’ for to carry me home! The mental picture of angels “carrying” us to heaven, makes it easy for us to automatically conclude that angels must have wings. However, the Bible more often describes them as looking just like us. In fact, in Hebrews, Paul encourages us to welcome strangers, as we might be “entertaining angels unaware.” I met a few angels this week. Although these were not spiritual beings, they sure do many of the things angels do… providing, guiding, encouraging, protecting, and in some fashion, they even assist in the process of “carrying” people home. Otis Eversole is the owner of Grace Hospice. He has 10

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com March 2013

made a ministry and a business out of helping people go through the death process. When asked why he chose such a profession, he said, “This business is good soul food. You are there for people at what is probably the most frightening time of their lives and the families that surround our patients often don’t know how to handle death when it comes. They need guidance and help. That is what we provide. We bring medicine and nursing services, counseling and we listen a lot, trying to give them exactly what they need.” Otis started Grace Hospice in 1999 out of a compassion for such families. Since then, he has turned the company into one of the largest and most respected hospice companies in the region. At any one time, the Grace team of highly trained nurses, caregivers and counselors are working with around 170 patients in a 70-mile radius of Tulsa. “This is a ministry for us, but in doing that ministry, we don’t only help Christians. We help people of all faiths or no faith. We are here to give them solid support and help them where they need to go, giving them everything they need to help them on their journey,” Otis explained. Throughout the process, while they are caring for the patient, they are also helping the family. Ava Hancock, Executive Director, knows first-hand what it is like to be one of those family members. In fact, it was because of her hospice experience with her dad that she became interested in working at Grace Hospice. “I witnessed first hand what hospice could do, what hospice was about. I watched how they cared for my Dad and I saw how great it was for my Mom as a caregiver, what it meant for her. In fact, she is a volunteer now because of that experience. Working with the family during and after the process is one of the things that defines a good hospice,” Ava said. “We have people dedicated specifically to working with

“We help people of all faiths or no faith. We are here to give them solid support and help them where they want to go, giving them everything they need to help them on their journey.” -Otis Eversole, Owner of Grace Hospice the family afterward to help with the grieving process,” Otis explained. “They are introduced to the family prior to the death so they have already established a relationship. When we have done our job right, the continuum is seamless. Once the loved one passes away, we are there for the family to help them bridge their lives and move through the grief.”

Oklahoma Pageant that they put on to encourage senior women, this business has continually proven itself to have a servant’s heart. In doing so, there is little wonder why some of their patients look upon them as angels. No, they don’t have wings, but with a heart for others and a compassion for those going through what can be the loneliest and most

THE GRACE HOSPICE VALUES • • •

•

• • • • • • • •

We believe that our patients and families always come first. We believe in dignity and respect for all. We believe that the quality of someone’s life is more important than its length. We believe in always acting with the highest level of legal, ethical, and moral behavior. We believe in the continuous pursuit of excellence. 24-hours-a-day,7-days-a-week Admissions On-Call Services All the Time Emergency Medication Kits Continuous Care Respite Care Esteemed Medical Professionals Highly Experienced Staff

WANT TO HELP?

grace hospice annual miss senior oklahoma pagent: In the back from left to right are Tom Kennedy, Hayden Kennedy – Kennedy funeral Home and Cremation, Ron Terrell of Fox 23 (emcee), Laura Moss of KTUL (emcee) and Ava Hancock of Grace Hospice – which sponsors the event

“Hospice care requires great compassion, the right heart and personality. It takes a full commitment to be there when the family needs us and to do a lot of education, preparing the family for what will happen next, what they can expect, what is normal. It also requires the willingness to followup with the family and help throughout the grieving process,” Ava explained. Grace Hospice has a reputation for doing each of these things right and also for their willingness to give back to the community. Their heart shows in the way they serve others. Whether it is providing their services for free to families in need or in their dedication to the annual Miss Senior

painful stage of life, they impact others daily for Christ. And though they may not actually be angels, the dedicated folks at Grace Hospice are no doubt rubbing elbows with them.

Do you have the compassion to assist in hospice? Volunteers play an essential role at Grace Hospice, helping patients enjoy life to the fullest. Because everyone has unique talents and skills, volunteer tasks are assigned based on what they most enjoy doing. Here are a few positions where you might be able to invest your talents: • Visiting Volunteer - Share your friendship with hospice patients and family members. • Bereavement Volunteer - Support families through their grief with occasional phone calls, cards and visits. • Crafts and Special Projects - Use your unique talents to support our patients and their families. Many volunteers sew (lap quilts, small pillows, etc.), knit, or design art projects, while others sing or play instruments. Whatever your gift, you will help patients enjoy the beauty of life. • Office Support Personnel - Provide light clerical support at the Grace Hospice business office. This position requires no special training or technical skills. • Events Volunteer - Help spread the hospice philosophy by assisting with public events in the Tulsa community.

March 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

annual senior issue

montereau

Like a Small Town Church Montereauâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Warren Chapel Ministers to All

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At Montereau, the good life is a great life. Tulsa’s Premier Retirement Community Gorgeous new amenities, stunning residences, maintenance-free living and a plan for the future that includes all levels of care available on-site.

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6800 S. Granite Avenue | Tulsa, Oklahoma 74136 (918) 495-1500 | (888) 795-1122 | www.montereau.net

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They Say 70 Is The New 50

Jim Would Agree How do you picture the perfect retirement? At Crestwood the opportunities are unlimited. With a variety of amenities and superb service, Crestwood will exceed your expectations. From beautiful views to an ideal location, the residences at Crestwood represent community living at its finest. Enjoy the security and Christian fellowship of Tulsa’s only Mid-Town full-service community. Crestwood was designed to be the ultimate in comfort—at a downhome, comfortable price.

To learn about available floor plans, call 918-574-2590 and schedule a visit. We are located on 31st Street between Harvard and Yale.

The best way to learn about life at Oklahoma Methodist Manor is to hear about from those who live it every day. The OMM Ambassadors are only too happy to share their experiences with you.

Part of Jim’s exercise routine is to walk-sprint on the indoor track at the new Spann Wellness Center. www.ommtulsa.org

annual senior issue oklahoma methodist manor

A Healthy Place to Be Oklahoma Methodist Manor’s 7 Elements of a Healthy Lifestyle Physical - Involves all aspects of keeping your body functioning at its maximum capacity over the entire lifespan. Members take classes such as Trim Your Waistline, Balance, Seniorcize, Range of Motion and Flexibility, Water Aerobics, Pickleball or Shuffleboard. Lectures are provided in nutrition, sleep, and disease management. The Oklahoma Methodist Manor Walking Trail is also a great environment for walking and getting some fresh air. Social - Emphasizes creating/maintaining healthy relationships by talking, sharing interests, and actively participating in social events. Bridge, book clubs, mahjong and dance lessons are a few examples. Members also enjoy campuswide holiday parties, private parties and even a Reader’s Theater. Spiritual - Seeking meaning and purpose, demonstrating values through meditation or prayer, as well as appreciating beauty, nature, and life. Members enjoy such things as Bible studies, House Blessings, Neighbor-to-Neighbor programs and church services. A full-time chaplain leads many groups and is available to all members. Vocational - Encourages individuals to expand their knowledge and skill base through a variety of resources and cultural activities. Areas offered include such classes as weaving sessions, Mahjong, Bridge and creative art lessons. Intellectual - Embracing lifelong learning through Oklahoma Methodist Manor Academy classes such as Digital Photography, Herb Gardening, Book Club, Writing your own Life Story, Brain Health, Nutrition and Health Maintenance Lecture Series. Environmental - Focuses on protecting and improving personal environment and designing living spaces that enable healthful functionality. It also includes caring for the environment at large. Emotional - Involves the capacity to manage feelings and behaviors, recognize and express feelings, control stress, problem solve, and manage success and failure.

January 2013 Communit Communit yS ir itmagaz ine.com March 2013 yS pp ir itmagaz ine.com

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annual senior issue

Ex-pastor Ministers to Senior Adults with Care and Friendship

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annual senior issue

university village

University Village and In His Image: Partners for Good

University Village Medical Director, Dr. John Crouch (center) and Dr. Carol Howard (right) pose with In His Image 2nd year resident Shaun Peters (left)

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;THEY WANT YOU TO PAY WHAT?!â&#x20AC;? No Buy-In or Endowment Fees Here. At University Village, we offer all-inclusive retirement living in an elegant environment you will be proud to call home. Our local Tulsa ownership, warm and experienced staff, and prime location provides residents a quality and very affordable retirement experience. In addition to our main campus apartments, our cottage neighborhood is nestled among 38 tree-covered acres, with 1 & 2 Bedroom cottage home floor plans. Trade in costly home maintenance and expenses for a lifestyle rich with peace of mind, security, amenities, privacy, and independence.

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Quiet Place to Call Home

Baptist Village of Broken Arrow Offers Unique Memory Center

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annual senior issue moore funeral homes

A New Generation Dr. Joe Moore Continues the Moore Funeral Home Heritage

Locations in the Tulsa Area

Moore Funeral Homes: Original - 1403 S. Peoria Eastlawn - 1908 S. Memorial Southlawn - 9350 E. 51st St. Rosewood - 2570 S. Harvard Fitzgerald Funeral Homes: Ivy - 1402 S. Boulder Southwood Colonial - 3612 E. 91st St.

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redeemer covenant church A BIG COMMUNITY SPIRIT APPLAUSE…

Redeemer Covenant Church Helping Turn Hunger to Hope working with Feed My Starving Children, the nation’s most experienced mobile food packing and distribution charity,” shared Gretchen Guillette, Director of Missions at Redeemer. For more information about Feed My Starving Children, their MobilePack events or to learn how to host one, visit www.fmsc. org. To schedule an interview about Redeemer’s efforts, contact Charlotte or Gretchen. Their numbers are at the top of this sheet. About Redeemer Covenant Church

t is both staggering and unfathomable that 10.9 million children under the age of five die each year in developing countries. Malnutrition and hunger-related diseases cause 69% of these deaths – that’s 18,000 children who die each day from hunger, the equivalent of a packed house at an Oklahoma Thunder NBA basketball game. Over 600 volunteers at Redeemer Covenant Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma worked to be a part of the world hunger solution in late January. These volunteers, starting at 5 years of age with the oldest volunteer at 89 years of age, worked to pack meals for 108,000+ children, enabling 298 children to receive meals for an entire year. Through a partnership between Redeemer and Twin Cities-based Feed My Starving Children (FMSC), volunteers prepared these life-saving meals at the FMSC MobilePackTM event. Children and adults worked side by side as teams in twohour shifts for most of a weekend to hand-pack meals designed specifically for starving children, hungry in both body and spirit. The meals Redeemer packed were shipped to nearly 70 countries around the world. Each meal costs only 22 cents to produce and takes just minutes to pack. The meals are especially formulated to quickly reverse and prevent malnutrition. A power-packed formula of 20 vitamins and minerals, added to dried vegetables, soy protein and rice, provides complete nutrition for a hungry child to grow and thrive. Redeemer Covenant Church especially enjoyed this energetic, fun and informative event as a church family, working together to pack food and serve hope. “We were united as a body of Christ and knew that our efforts would have a global impact. Our members brought friends and neighbors and all enjoyed

We’re a place for you. We are a group of real people, adults and children of all ages who enjoy doing life together. Come enjoy: • A casual environment • Inspiring, live worship music • Meaningful messages based on the Bible • Fun teaching for children and teens • A commitment to make a difference in the lives of our people, families, community and the world through missions. • Places to belong. Come join our Growth Groups, enjoy our Live Well classes and get to know the authentic people who make up the wonderful place we call Redeemer. Everything we do at Redeemer hinges on knowing Christ, becoming the people He created us to be and making Him known. For more information about our church, see our website: www.rcctulsa.org

March 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

LOSE YOUR

QUIT

B Y D ANN Y CAHILL

Community Spirit is excited to announce that Danny Cahill will now be one our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month. It will be in a new section we are adding on health and wellness.

MOTIVATION

he last two Lose Your Quit columns have been about goal setting. Goal setting and actually writing down those goals are an integral part of achieving something. Now it’s time to walk the path. After setting your goal, the next step is just that – to take the next step. Begin your journey by beginning action! While it seems easy to begin your action steps, it often proves tough to continue over time. Zig Ziglar once said, “Motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” This is so true! What you must have to continue down the path to your goals is to find your WHY. When I was 460 pounds, I desperately needed my WHY to begin what seemed like an endless journey to a healthy weight. My WHY was revealed to me on evening at home! I was sitting on the couch watching television. My daughter, Mary Claire, came in and said, “Daddy, I want to be just like you!” I was so proud! Then she dropped the bomb – “I want a belly just like yours.” I was mortified! I had a 69.5-inch stomach! How could I continue being this kind of role model to my 7-year old

daughter and 9-year old son? I am the leader in my house, and I was leading my family down the wrong path! Well, that was the day my WHY was born! And on the Biggest Loser when I felt like quitting (which was a thousand times a day!), I thought of Mary, David and Darci! I wasn’t going to lead them in the wrong direction any longer! All I had to do was picture Mary’s freckledface at 7 years old saying those words to me again and I would begin to work out even harder! Another example is Danny Boyle, an outdoorsman whose arm became trapped by a boulder while climbing. He was trapped for 127 hours! He finally found the courage to take his cheap multi-tool and amputate his own arm. Most people would simply die there, but Danny saw a vision on his 5th day of being trapped. A small boy said, “Daddy, can we play now?” A vision of his unborn son became his WHY; he amputated his own arm to realize his vision of having a family. His experience was made into a movie and has inspired many to get through their circumstances. Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, was a Nazi concentration camp survivor. During

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com March 2013

his stay in the camp, he had a vision – a vision of himself standing in front of a crowded auditorium and speaking on his camp experience. From that point on, his goal was to get through each day so he could realize his vision and help the world understand the human condition when all has been taken away. He survived and has helped millions with his experiences. What is your WHY? Have you even thought about it? Whether it’s a person, a cause, or something else, you must find your WHY and post it everywhere to remind yourself to LOSE YOUR QUIT and realize your dreams! Remember what Jillian Michaels said to me one day – “If you find your WHY, you can tolerate any how.” PURCHASE DANNY’S NEW BOOK AT THEDANNYCAHILL.COM

BY Deniece adsit

About Deniece Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.

A Wave and a Smile

t the end of the aisle in a dimly lit parking garage, in a small space clearly marked “compacts only” sits a full-sized SUV. When asked why she parked there, her response was, “I like to park in this spot. Every day, when I drive into the garage, I smile and wave at the parking attendant. I want to be sure she recognizes me and my vehicle so she won’t give me a ticket.” There is smugness in her response and a look of entitlement in her smile. Meanwhile, other drivers who follow her into the garage must slowly and carefully maneuver around her vehicle. Her choice to park in that spot has created an obstacle for all who come in after her, and she doesn’t seem concerned by that… only that it is convenient for her. My initial thought was, “How arrogant! I would never!” But then I think of other choices I make, and discover that I do behave in much the same way. It’s just that my arrogance is toward God. Things that I see clearly outlined in Scripture, (especially when it is inconvenient or unpopular to obey) I find myself smiling and waving at God… thinking He loves me too much to hold me accountable. I am not talking about the sins that sneak up on me. I am talking about the choices I make even when I recognize the sin for what it is, because in that moment of recognition, it is not an accidental or unintentional failure on my part. It is a choice made deliberately and with full knowledge. In essence, I have just smiled and waved at God, thinking He will overlook my choices because of His great love for me.

justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus (Romans 3:23-24), that I fail to read on and live out the instructions in Romans 6.

But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. (Romans 6:17-18) If I am a slave to righteousness, I no longer choose to behave deliberately in sinful ways. In essence, I no longer smile and wave at God, believing He will overlook my choices that do not match my calling to live a God-centered life. So where will I start in the process of becoming more like the kind of person God created me to be? I will begin by making one right choice, followed by the next right choice, because whatever decisions I make (obedience to God, or obedience to sin), are the decisions that will be strengthened in me.

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? (Romans 6:15-16) I become so reliant on the part in Romans 3 where it says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are March 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

It’s big. It’s exciting. It’s free. It’s coming to ORU.

hey call it “Ignite” and its organizers believe God will use it in a unique way to impact people for Christ. Ignite will be an opportunity to be inspired by some of the world’s most anointed speakers and to be refreshed through passionate praise and worship by ORU LIVE, Ricardo Sanchez and Judy Jacobs. ORU Ignite is for ALL Believers who are called to the work of the Ministry of Jesus Christ-- from every walk of life, denomination, and generation. The conference is designed to sharpen the way you experience and deliver ministry to a hurting world. It is a time for attendees to hear the Word, to learn how to communicate effectively in this new era and to be renewed while spending time in the presence of God. Oral Roberts University has announced speakers for the Ignite Conference which is slated to be held in Christ Chapel April 1-3, 2013. The conference is sponsored by Charisma House and GEB America. Registration is free and open to the public at www.oru.edu/ignite. The speakers include Jentezen Franklin, senior pastor of Free Chapel in Gainesville, Ga.; Dave Martin, founder of Dave Martin International; Keith Moore, founder of Faith Life Church in Branson, Mo.; Sid Roth, host of “It’s Supernatural!”; Mark Rutland, president of Oral Roberts University; Charles Stanley, senior pastor of First Baptist Church Atlanta and the founder of In Touch Ministries; Stovall Weems, lead pastor of Celebration Church in Jacksonville, Fla.; Billy Wilson, president-elect of Oral Roberts University. Franklin is the senior pastor of Free Chapel which has locations in both Gainesville, Ga. and Irvine, Calif. He hosts a nationally televised show titled “Kingdom Connection” and has also written several books including New York Times bestseller “Fasting: Opening the door to a deeper more intimate, more powerful relationship with God,” and the brand new release, “Believe That You Can.” Martin is known by many around the world as America’s No. 1 Christian Success Coach. He is the founder of Dave Martin International which helps local churches, business organizations, leaders and individuals connect with Godly wisdom in order to create success in life. He has also authored several best-selling books including “The Force of Favor” and “12 Traits of the Greats.” Moore is the founder of Moore Life Ministries and Faith Life Church located in Branson, Mo. He and his wife Phyllis minister in such areas as love, faith, healing, prosperity, and honor. Their heart is to see the lost saved, the sick healed, the distressed relieved, the broken restored, and the discouraged empowered to victory.

Roth is the host of the nationally syndicated radio broadcast “Messianic Vision” as well as the television program “It’s Supernatural!” Through these outlets Roth investigates and reports on people who have experienced extraordinary healings, miracles and personal encounters with God. Roth’s Godordained strategy is to go “to the Jew first” by sharing God’s miracles. Rutland is the third president of Oral Roberts University. He is a distinguished educator, charismatic leader, business man and a nationally recognized figure in Christian higher education. He has also been a pastor and is the author of 14 books including “Relaunch: How to Stage an Organizational Comeback,” “Launch Out into the Deep,” “God of the Valleys,” “Character Matters,” and “Most Likely to Succeed.” Stanley is the senior pastor of First Baptist Church Atlanta. He is the founder of In Touch Ministries which seeks to lead people worldwide into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and to strengthen the local church. Stanley is also a New York Times best-selling author and the host of “In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley” which can be heard around the world via radio and television broadcasts. Weems is the founder and lead pastor of Celebration Church in Jacksonville, Fla. Since it began with just seven people in 1998, the church has grown to include twelve locations with more than twelve thousand people in weekend attendance. Weems’ ministry focuses on building the local church, reaching people with the gospel, and developing passionate followers of Christ. Wilson was recently elected as the fourth president of Oral Roberts University. He serves as executive director of the International Center for Spiritual Renewal in Cleveland, Tenn. Wilson has also fostered unique global partnerships through Empowered 21–an initiative launched at ORU that brings together ministry leaders, scholars and next generation voices from the Spirit-empowered movement. ORU Ignite is for all believers who are called to the work of the ministry of Jesus Christ—from every walk of life, denomination, and generation. Attendees will hear from the Word, spend time in the presence of God and learn how to effectively minister in a hurting world. Ministry leaders will leave the conference inspired, refreshed and empowered with the tools they need to increase their Kingdom impact. For more information on the ORU Ignite Conference, please visit www.oru.edu/ignite.

March 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

ORU Selects Their Fourth President

P H OTO COURTESY OF ORU MED IA RELAT IONS

Dr. William “Billy” Wilson Elected as Fourth President of the University

oard Chair Mart Green and the Oral Roberts University Board of Trustees announced the election of Dr. William “Billy” Wilson as the fourth president of the Christian educational institution. Dr. Wilson, 54, will begin at the university July 1 of this year. “The presidential search committee, Board of Trustees and I are confident we have found the best candidate to lead ORU to a bright and successful future while remaining true to its founding vision and core values,” said Green. “Chancellor Oral Roberts founded this university on big-thinking and innovation. In this day and age where technology and culture are constantly shifting, Dr. Wilson’s global vision, experience and relationships will be a catalyst for growth and transformation.” Dr. Wilson is recognized as a global influencer with unwavering ethics and strong business acumen, who has a passion for building Spirit-empowered leaders to impact the world. He currently serves as Executive Director of the International Center for Spiritual Renewal in Cleveland, Tenn. He has forged national ecumenical coalitions with more than 250 denominations and parachurch ministries through the Awakening America Alliance.

Dr. Wilson has also fostered unique global partnerships through Empowered 21—an initiative launched at ORU that brings together ministry leaders, scholars and next generation voices from the Spirit-empowered movement. Empowered 21 has expanded exponentially and today influences nations through 12 regional cabinets with significant ministry leaders. He served as the executive officer for the Azusa Street Centennial held in Los Angeles, Calif. in 2006, which drew more than 50,000 people from 112 nations. “I am honored and humbled to have been elected to lead ORU at this exciting time in its history,” said Dr. Wilson. “I am committed to increasing global access to our excellent, whole-person education that has prepared over 38,000 alumni to be world-changers in business, medicine, arts, ministry and beyond. Dr. Wilson had served on the ORU Board of Trustees as vice-chair until his election as president. He has also served in leadership positions with the Mission America Coalition (Lausanne USA), the Pentecostal World Fellowship and the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem. With more than 30 years of extensive leadership experience, Dr. Wilson served with the Church of God of Prophecy and the Church of God where he shaped the lives of tens of thousands of young people in all 50 states and 120 countries. He is a

“ORU is poised to globally engage students to hear God’s voice, excel in academics and go impact their world. We will continue to ‘make no little plans here,’” said Dr. Wilson.

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com March 2013

renowned speaker and author, writing several books including “Father Cry,” “Foundations of Faith” and “Fasting Forward.” Dr. Wilson is a noted Bible teacher with a weekly television program “World Impact with Billy Wilson.” For more than 15 years, the program has inspired and empowered viewers from a biblical worldview in 170 nations and in five languages. A native of Owensboro, Ky., Dr. Wilson holds a Bachelor of Science degree from Western Kentucky University in

average of freshmen, class sizes and retention rate. In fact, retention rate or what I call ‘customer satisfaction’ probably is the purist indicator. Historically, around 68 percent of ORU students have returned for their second year. Our goal was to bring this to over 80 percent and we successfully met that goal for four straight years.” In speaking about the future of the university and those things left to do, Dr. Rutland said, “I don’t think the job at ORU is complete, but I think MY task at ORU is complete. I knew when I agreed to come here, what my job was… to get it out of the ditch, get it back out on the road, clean out all the closets, get the systems to run right, make the finances run right, regain its public image, and to restore its internal culture to a joyful and exuberant place to be. It was my job to get it running right and set up a growth pattern. One year is not a pattern. Two years is just starting. Three years is better. But four years of straight growth is a pattern and we have had that. It wasn’t my job to be a long-term, legacy leader. That is the role of the next president.” The ORU community is estatic about the announcement of Dr. Wilson as the new president. By all indications, he appears to be the kind of man Dr. Rutland described as that long-term, legacy leader. As one loyal student said, “The announcement of Dr. Wilson as president makes it obvious to me that God continues to have wonderful plans for this university… Make no little plans here!”

“I am honored and humbled to have been elected to lead ORU at this exciting time in its history,” said Dr. Wilson. “I am committed to increasing global access to our excellent, whole-person education that has prepared over 38,000 alumni to be world-changers in business, medicine, arts, ministry and beyond. Secondary Education. He also holds a Master of Arts degree and a Doctor of Ministry degree from the Pentecostal Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Lisa, currently reside in Cleveland, Tennessee. They have one daughter, Sara, who presently serves as a missionary in Paraguay with her husband, Shaun, and their three children. The Wilsons’ son, Ashley, is currently pastoring a church in Lexington, Kentucky, along with his wife Jamie and their three children. “ORU is poised to globally engage students to hear God’s voice, excel in academics and go impact their world. We will continue to ‘make no little plans here,’” said Dr. Wilson. Dr. Wilson was selected as the result of a nine-month search process led by the ORU Presidential Search Committee made up of representatives from the ORU Board of Trustees, faculty, staff, alumni and students. The Board utilized the expertise of CarterBaldwin Executive Search. More than 170 presidential prospects were nominated for consideration. In an interview with Charisma News, Dr. Wilson was quoted as saying…“To say I’m honored and humbled is really an understatement. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed the last few days as I’ve reflected on all this means for my life and ministry. I don’t feel worthy in many ways of doing this task except by God’s grace. A lot of prayer’s gone on up to this point, and I’m going to need a lot of prayer and His strength going forward. At the same time, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.” The announcement of Dr. Wilson as the new president comes at an important time in ORU’s growth. He will arrive at the year of the university’s 50th Anniversary and at a time when ORU has chalked up four years of positive growth in nearly every measurement indicator. During last month’s Community Spirit interview with retiring president, Dr. Rutland, he said, “We have now had four straight years where every indicator has been positive. Financial, cash reserves, endowment funds, grade point

ABOUT ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY Oral Roberts University is a world-renowned Christian university located in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Founded in 1963, ORU serves students from 48 states and over 60 countries, representing over 40 denominations. ORU offers more than 60 undergraduate majors, 14 master’s programs and two doctoral degrees, plus NCAA Division I athletics. ORU recently elected their fourth president, Billy Wilson. For more information on Billy Wilson, visitwww.oru.edu/drbillywilson.

March 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

international fellowship of christian businessmen

Your Are Invited to the Monthly Meetings of the International Fellowship of Christian Businessmen

IFCB Annual Christmas Dinner

ts’ Thursday, December 20, 2012, 11:30 in the morning in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as Ted Robertson pulls into the parking lot at the Wyndham Hotel, at 41st Street and Garnett Rd. As the President of the Tulsa Chapter of International Fellowship of Christian Businessmen, he arrives early to make sure everything is setup for the weekly IFCB luncheon. This has been the scene for the past fifty weeks of 2012, and the previous 15 years, but still Ted treats every event as though it is special. Soon other Christian businessmen and their guests will be arriving to enjoy a hearty lunch and the fellowship of like minded men of faith. Now retired from the day to day routine of Robertson Tire Company, a business he founded 50 years ago, Ted has the time to do what he does best; build relationship with other Christian business leaders; and as a seasoned businessman himself, mentor other young businessmen. At 11:45 AM most of the tables are filled. The buffet line is moving well and the smell of good food is in the air, as Ted calls the meeting to order. Today he singles out Bill Hatfield, a local Baptist pastor who often comes to the luncheons. “Bill, would you ask God’s blessing on the food and our meeting here today,” he asks. To add some momentum to the event, Ted reads a couple of jokes that others have faxed or emailed to him. Then it is time to introduce visiting guests, and give them a gift package that includes both a DVD and a book written by Jim Stovall, a Tulsa businessman and a friend of IFCB. Then it is time to introduce the speaker. Like most other speakers, today’s guest Clay Staires, is also a businessman, who has come to share his testimony and the story of his experience with Jesus Christ. More than a businessman, Clay is also a motivational speaker. He may not 32

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yet have reached the status of the late Zig Ziglar, but he is well on his way. The IFCB has a policy of ending the luncheon by 1:00 PM and Clay Staires does just that. There is an enthusiasm in the air, as those in attendance head back to work after a time of physical, spiritual and mental refreshing. Since becoming the President, Ted has hosted well over 700 luncheons. Next week there will be another event, with another guest speaker and you are invited to attend. Visit www.ifcbtulsa. com for details of each weekly Tulsa IFCB Chapter event. For those unable to attend the weekly IFCB luncheons, there are also morning events, called IFCB Roundtables. Here from 6 to maybe 18 men come together for an early morning discussion of business topics as well as spiritual principles. With about 10 roundtables in the Tulsa community, there may well be one that will fit most everyone’s schedule. Roundtable meetings are also listed on the www.ifcbtulsa.com website.

The benefits of attending IFCB events are contained in the acronym FREE: Fellowship Relationships Encouragement Evangelism

A New Group Designed for Young Businessmen! Looking for Christian mentors, for ways to associate with like-minded business owners your age? Join the YBT (Young Businessmen of Tulsa). Meets once a month at 11:40 (2nd Monday of each month) at Riverside Grill – 9912 Riverside Parkway in Tulsa. Come listen to local leaders and businessmen and network with like-minded men. FREE to attend…plus a FREE lunch! And Door Prizes!

randy cowell | AC T Fi n an ci al

RECOGNIZING YOUR DEFINING MOMENTS

aybe it’s a result of getting older, but one of the things I enjoy doing is reminiscing with friends and family. Stories about the “bygone” days are points of connection that bring us all together. Reflecting back on the good times and bad in one’s life can be beneficial if the end result is to take away something positive. Obviously dwelling on the negative can be counterproductive. One of my favorite writers is John Maxwell. In his popular business book Failing Forward, he discusses the merits of failure. I know what you are thinking, “What can be good about failure?” In his book he interviews many successful businessmen and women. The common denominator of every failed endeavor is that there was something positive learned from it. Failing forward is possibly one of the best applications of business theory I have ever used. The art of failing forward fast is a concept that sounds strange at first but makes sense the first time you or your management team decides to pull the plug on a marketing Idea that is doomed for failure. Understanding failure is a part of the success process and makes those “not-so-happy times” bearable.

LEARNING FROM FAILURE Individual and team sports can be great tools to teach the participants valuable life lessons. I grew up on the baseball field. Morning, noon, and night, I lived to play baseball and some of my most treasured experiences occurred on a baseball diamond. One of the great takeaways from my baseball experiences was when I realized that when it comes to batting, you fail more times than you succeed. This may be a simple concept but realizing and then knowing that your life isn’t going to end just because you happen to strike out three times in one game is a great life lesson. Understanding that tomorrow there will be a “new” game and a new opportunity to be a hero has many applications when it comes to playing the game of “life”. When a reporter asked Thomas Edison about all his failed attempts at creating the modern day candescent light bulb, his response was, “Son, I haven’t failed! I’ve simply discovered another way not to invent the light bulb!”

game. The first defining moment we must understand is that our money will never be as valuable as it is today. Why? Inflation. Assuming a 3% inflation rate over a period of 30 years the value of a dollar will be 41 cents. Therefore, since our hard earned money is so valuable, we want to put as much of it to use as we can. We will dicuss this in more detail next month..

TAXES The second defining moment is understanding that due to the way government is spending our money, tax rates are most assuredly going up in the future. For that reason, you are probably in the lowest tax bracket than you will ever be in. Once again we will explore this idea in next months issue, and discuss several other defining moments that can define your overall financial success. It’s natural to attempt to bury in our subconscious minds the bad “stuff”. I think we all need to be reminded from time to time that bad things happen to good people. Matthew 5:45(b) sums it up this way: (God) “sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous.“ Being a Christian does not cloak us with insulation from pain and suffering. Remember, “Knowledge is what you know, Wisdom is the ability to apply that knowledge to your everyday life. “ Leonard Renier, founder, Wealth and Wisdom Institute. Have a great at bat!

To become the perfect taxpayer, It takes no time, It takes no money, Results are guaranteed! RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

RECOGNIZING YOUR FINANCIAL DEFINING MOMENTS One of the personal projects I am working on is the documentation of the defining moments in my life. I want to identify those events in my life that changed the direction of my life’s journey. Whether they could be categorized as good or bad, I want to reflect on how they affected who I am.

INFLATION In finances there are many defining moments. There are two that we as consumers MUST understand to when the financial March 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

STEVE MOELLER FLORAL HAVEN

Question: My husband died a few months ago and I still can’t seem to get over it. My Pastor has told me that if my faith is strong, I should know that he is in a better place and that should be enough, but it still hurts so much. What is wrong with me?

irst and foremost, there is nothing wrong with you. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to every major change we experience in our lives. The real problem is that we learn very little about how to effectively deal with personal grief when we are growing up. Sadly, this means that our friends and family have very few tools to help us navigate this difficult path as well. The fact that you are looking for help is all about what is right with you! I remember times, when I have gone through the loss of a loved, when friends reminded me that he or she was in a “better place.” I am a person of strong personal faith and I fully believe this to be the case. Unfortunately, I am stuck here dealing with the emotional pain of the loss. My spiritual relationship with that person is fully at peace, but my emotional relationship is what gives me pain. I do not believe that we ever really “get over” a loss, but I know that, with the proper action, we can learn to survive and even thrive in spite of it. The reason grief is so emotionally troubling is that almost everyone discovers that they still have “unfinished business” in that emotional relationship. We are reminded of these things when we see something that causes us to think about that person. For example, I am walking down the street and see a beautiful flower garden, which reminds me of the gardens my mother planted. It brings back very fond memories. Then I remember that I cannot tell her about this garden, because she died. This leads me to start to think of the other things that I wish we could talk about, things I wish might have gone different or better and the dreams of future things that we would never be able to do. This is why grief is so very difficult for all of us. No one taught us how to deal with these things when we were growing up. Instead we were taught that we must be strong and keep busy. We were taught that we must not feel bad. The shortest passage in the Bible is “Jesus wept.” But for some reason, if we believe in Him, we are not supposed to avail ourselves of that God given gift of tears, to express the pain in our hearts. For the most part, we were taught to be socially appropriate so that other people would not have to deal with our personal emotional pain. We were taught that “grief takes time,” but no amount of time really makes any difference, other than to make that ongoing emotional pain commonplace in our lives. The good news is that you can take action to deal with this emotional pain. The concept of “Grief Recovery,” for moving though the pain of emotional loss, was pioneered by John James over 30 year ago. The Grief Recovery Method is focused on helping people discover what is emotionally incomplete in their relationships and giving them the tools to “complete” that 34

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unfinished business. This then allows the survivors to enjoy their memories without being overwhelmed by those things that they wished might have turned out different or better, as well as the unmet dreams and expectations for a future that would have been different if that loved one were still physically here. These tools are spelled out in a step by step approach in “The Grief Recovery Handbook,” by John James and Russell Friedman. Better still, this is not a journey that you need to make on your own. There are Grief Recovery Method Outreach Programs conducted throughout the United States and all over the world to help people mover through this process. Floral Haven offers two of these 12-week workshops each year, starting the last Tuesday’s in March and September. These workshops focus on the emotional pain of loss, without interfering with the spiritual support you receive through your faith community. The only out of pocket expense for this program is the purchase of a copy of the Handbook, which is available at most bookstores. I sincerely invite you to call me directly so that we can talk about your loss and this program. The book stresses that recovery can only be achieved by grievers who make some small and correct choices for themselves. I truly believe that this book offers people the best tools to make these choices. You can also learn more about this program on-line at www.FloralHaven. com. STEVE MOELLER Director, Floral Haven Steve Moeller is a licensed funeral director, has been in funeral service for 35 years and the Director of Community Relations at Floral Haven. He is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and also serves as the Mid-America Educator for the Grief Recovery Institute in California. Steve has lead Grief Recovery Workshops at Floral Haven for 20 years, is active in a variety of community organizations and is a frequent speaker in matters concerning grief and recover. He also serves on the “Ask The Experts” panel at FuneralPlan.com.

Our free Personal Planning Guide and the option of Non-Funded Pre-Arrangements make protecting your family affordable for everyone!

FLORAL HAVEN

Crematory • Funeral Home • Cemetery • Floral Shop Family Center • Mausoleums • Cremation Gardens (918) 252-2518 www.FloralHaven.com

Help Make Their Birthdays Bright! too , but for the homeless, a birthday is Birthdays should be a special time n. overlooked and forgotte often a time of gloom and of feeling es an annual Birthday Party for the That’s why John 3:16 Mission celebrat ion and respect they deserve. Homeless, offering them the recognit t March 19 with carnival games, food The Mission will celebrate this even eless men, women and children. and a joyful atmosphere for all hom

You can be part of this uplifting

party!

bought Please send us homemade or store greetings and m war with d ribe insc s card birthday s are a card The nt. messages of encourageme ed for pray of, ght thou are “You say great way to and cared about.” family or church Make it a mission project for your Sunday school classes! E. Pine St. Suite 103, Mail your cards by March 15 to 205 . We will make sure ress add e sam the Tulsa, OK 74106 or drop them off at to y. Be sure to visit our website later they are distributed during the part watch a video of the party!

r Send Ydoauy Birth gs! Greetin

www.john316mission.org

“...Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:13

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Join Qdoba…Raise Money, Send Cement Mixers to Nicaragua

andy Allen was out of his comfort zone. The 105 degree plus Nicarogan heat made his job of hand-mixing concrete a real challenge. But as he and his 23 year-old son helped their church group build one house after another, they also bonded like never before. “We knew we were blessed, but this was a life-changing experience,” Randy explained. As the two worked, they promised themselves that before they came again, they were going to figure out an easier way to mix concrete. “No one should have to mix concrete by hand when there are machines that make the job so much easier,” they said to themselves. It gave Randy an idea. This was just the kind of challenge his restaurants would want to accept. Randy is the Chief Financial Officer and partial owner of a group of 13 Qdoba Restaurants spread across southwest Missouri, northwest Arkansas and northeast Oklahoma. His employees were use to tackling community projects and he knew they would love this one. A little training, research and marketing later, they were ready to see to it that The Rainbow Network would never be hand-mixing concrete again. The Rainbow Network in an interdenominational ministry out of Springfield, Missouri which is working to help Nicaragua, one of the most poverty-stricken and desperate nations in the world. Working with churches and Christian businesses, they provide food, micro-loan funding and housing development, forever changing lives in the process. Using the James 2:17 “Faith Without Deeds” as their battle cry, they commit themselves to serving first and saving the talking and preaching for later. And so now, as they continue to make a name for themselves 36

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as a growing leader in the “Fast Casual” style restaurant category, 13 Qdoba stores are now passing the word about the need for cement mixers and tools in Nicaragua. In the process, their customers are joining into the excitement, giving money and learning about how their church groups can get involved. You too can get help! Stop by the 71st Street Qdoba location across from Woodland Hills Mall and drop some money into the mixer. Or you can go to www.Rainbownetwork.org and make a donation through their safe, PayPal system. Donations will be accepted through March 15th. Randy explained that his church worked with Rainbow Network to purchase some land in Nicaragua and build simple, but quality homes. The future homeowners join in to help with the construction. Once all of the houses are complete, the homeowners draw to see which house they get. The ministry then loans them money to purchase their house at only 1 percent interest. “Not knowing which house they are going to draw, keeps the future homeowner working hard on every house in the neighborhood. And the interest on the loan provides money for the ministry to reinvest back into other projects,” Randy explained. The Rainbow Network is hoping Tulsa churches will want to not only help raise money for Cement Mixers, but will want to schedule mission trips to assist in building more houses. Contact them for more information at www.RainbowNetwork.org.

About Qdoba Never tried Qdoba? You are missing out! The popular restaurant offers a unique selection of burritos, tacos, nachos and salads. Using fresh ingredients, their food is known for its original, great food flavors. “The recipes were developed by some chefs and artisans from the Denver area,” Randy Allen explained. “It doesn’t come from a can. For instance, before flame grilling the chicken, it is marinated in special seasonings for at least 24 hours. And the guacamole and Pico are made fresh. You will absolutely taste the difference in quality.” Qdoba continually tests and assesses its food and service with on-line guest surveys, mystery shoppers, quality audits and over 40 thousand FaceBook fans to ensure every location is meeting strict standards. There are currently four Qdoba locations in Tulsa (1520 E. 15th St, 7153 S Lewis Ave, 5220 S Yale Ave, 2401 W. Kenosha Street in B.A., 1520 E. 15th St., and 8310 East 71st Street.) But watch for more. Word is getting around and Qdoba is growing!

marriages that last

Making the Right Connection

ne in five couples is considered to be in a sexless marriage, which is defined by couples connecting once or fewer times every two weeks, with the majority of them connecting ten or fewer times per year. Today’s society has become hyper-focused on sex. You can’t leave your place of work without seeing some sexual add bombarding you to buy some product that promotes a false sense of security. Television promotes the notion that the only people having sex are singles roaming from one partner to the next and that they are sexually satisfied. These causal hookups are glamourized to give the illusion that these individuals have figured out the secret to sexual fulfillment. Hollywood has made millions in casting sinful, destructive behaviors and presenting them as if they are not only right, but blessed from above. Premarital sex appears to be the norm today, but certainly comes with great cost. Research overwhelmingly proves that cohabitating is destructive for the overall health of the relationship. In fact, studies show the divorce rates of couples who have cohabitated before marrying are as high as 80 percent. Satan will do everything in his power to get couples to have sex before marriage and then does everything he can to get you to stop having sex after marriage. Ironically, minimal or no sex after marriage is just as damaging as having sex before marriage. When exploring the sexual connection, one must realize that it’s a part of the whole. Intimacy, which sustains a relationship, consists of many components, with sex being one of those components, albeit, a very important component. Marriage is the 38

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only relationship that will have the foundation of trust, commitment, intimacy and oneness to sustain a healthy sexual connection. Many times in counseling sessions, sex is brought up. Spending two minutes exploring a couple’s sexual intimacy sheds great light to the overall relationship. If a couple is connecting sexually, usually that means two things. First, the wife is connected emotionally. Woman will struggle greatly and will not be able to connect sexually if they are not connected to their spouse emotionally. Emotional connection is one of every woman’s greatest needs that must be fulfilled in order for her to be in a place to give freely to her husband. Secondly, if a couple is connecting sexually, the sexual needs for the husband are being met. The desire/need for sexual connection is usually one of the top three needs for men. This positive reaffirming action provides couples with great tools to move forward through any difficulty. Positive sexual connection contributesto 15% - 20% of the positive feelings toward the marriage. Conversely, lack of sexual connection contributes to 50% - 75% of the negative feelings within the marriage. When couples are disconnected sexually, neither husband nor wife are getting their needs met. The overwhelming philosophy found within these relationships is “withhold until my needs are met.” Demandingfrom your spouse what you’re unwilling to give seldom works, especially within the sexual/emotional realm. Connecting sexually is vital to any healthy marriage. Intentionally have conversations with your spouse about your needs. Realize that connecting sexually has a different meaning for each of you. Husbands, pursue your wife emotionally, which will help you gain access to her physically. Wives, pursue your husband physically to help gain access to them emotionally. Emotional/sexual connections are not an “either/or” situation to withhold from each other but rather a “both/and” to be offered freely within the marital context.

Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Christian Counseling Center Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in individual, marital, and family relationships. His practice focuses on bringing hope and healing to hurting people utilizing Christ centered principles. The office is located at 4930 S. Sheridan, Tulsa. You may reach him at 918-392-4008 or www.cccoftulsa.com

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celebrate recovery

KEEP COMING BACK BY BLYTHE FOWLER

eep coming back’ is a constant message at Celebrate Recovery / CR gatherings. It’s not just a saying spoken as a departing close in the vein of ‘see you later’ or ‘come again.’ No - it’s much more. Keep coming back is a slogan or war cry that embodies a call to action for CR participants traveling the road to recovery. Recovery is a process that takes time, willingness and courage. Keep coming back encourages and imparts assurance that CR is well worth it. There’s also an intriguing invitation woven in the way the message is delivered; regardless of who’s behind it, keep coming back carries a knowing wink that promises the receiver will reap bountiful rewards if s/he continues to walk through the CR principles, one step at a time. The Celebrate Recovery program is based on eight principles 40

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found in the Beatitudes, which are declarations of blissfulness that Jesus gave in His Sermon on the Mount. On first encounter, these biblical principles convey anything but a joyful state; they represent conviction, conversion, surrender, confession, restitution, prayer or quiet time, witnessing, and helping one another. When one keeps coming back to Celebrate Recovery and learns to actually apply these principles daily, healing and freedom from addictive, compulsive and dysfunctional behaviors become real through restoration of relationship with God, self and others. Matthew 5:3, Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor, is the first beatitude and basis for CR’s Principle 1, which is the step out of denial and admission of powerlessness over person, place or thing. This is conviction.

Embrace Hope and Change Will Be Hope is found in Principle 2: ‘Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover,’ represents conversion and stems from Matthew 5:4, Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

that which entangles us, in what direction do we turn? We know we have to change; we cannot stay where are but which way do we go? If we can’t find the way – who can – another person? No, for other people are just like we are: broken, corrupt(able) and struggling with empty space and dead places inside. Placing hope in other people is like expecting a tree to flourish in a barren desert… people will disappoint us; they are unable to satisfy our deepest needs. Hope in God changes everything. O really – exclaim the naysayers. That’s all there is to gaining freedom from insurmountable problems with hurts, habits, hang-ups, or bondage to addiction. Find God and all chains are broken?

The simple truth is yes; embrace HOPE and change will be. H – Higher Power. Our higher power has a name: Jesus Christ. He desires relationship with us so much, He died to have one. O – Openness to Change. Trials in life are guaranteed. With God’s help, we are to allow trials to change us – to make us better, not bitter. P – Power to Change. We come to understand that God’s power can change us and our situations. E – Expect to Change. Don’t quit before the miracle happens. With God’s help, change is just steps away.

Hope springs forth as this step is taken and we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. Keep coming back is a vital message of motivation at this juncture for many CR newcomers because Principle 2 requires faith that God exists and that He cares for the individual. Countless people bear deep, crippling wounds from connection to or abandonment by their earthy fathers and acknowledgement of a living, caring Heavenly Father can be a very long leap of faith. Principle 2 can also present another gap that’s bridged by keep coming back. That’s the belief that a power beyond self can and will make a change in self. For me, a prideful selfreliant individual with a loving father and awareness of God, this principle was difficult to accept because it created a pivotal point and I knew what would come next: after accepting belief in a higher power, placing trust in that power had to follow, and trust was far beyond my reach. It was the war cry of keep coming back expressed by other CR travelers that carried me further on the road to recovery. When we step out of denial and admit having no power over

The miracle of change springs from hope …for it is God who works in you, both to will and to do for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13). Hope is desire accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment. Hebrews 11:1 tells us faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith is not wishful thinking; it is knowing that God will always do what He promises to do. When we keep coming back to CR we can embrace hope because we come to know God and see the light of Jesus shining through blissful believers who have been changed. The miracle begins when we allow God in and His desires become ours. It’s a marvelous experience to have and to witness. It’s also easy to miss, unless you keep coming back. There are 32 Celebrate Recovery ministries in Eastern Oklahoma. Every night of the week there are CR gatherings in full swing. Find one today and get on the road to recovery. You will be changed. www.celebraterecovery.com/

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Where there is Smoke… There is Argument at the State Capitol

here has been a battle brewing at the State Capitol for quite a while and it seemed things were finally heating up to the point that some thought a wild fire of change just might happen with Oklahoma’s smoking laws. In fact, it looked like Brad and Jessica on Friends just might not be able to throw the same punch lines at Oklahoma’s poor smoking record anymore. What the fight all boiled down to is that some communities want to be able to set their own local regulations concerning where people smoke. Worried about their community’s poor health, they want more control on regulating smoking particularly in bars and restaurants. Right now, such regulations are set on a statewide basis, keeping local communities from setting their own smoke-free standards. The bill to decide this issue had been held up by committee in the past, but everyone anticipated that it just might be able to go to the vote this time. The 42

question goes beyond smoking. It is rather a question of local rights versus state rights. Those opposing the bill have been accused of pandering to the Tobacco lobbyists who don’t want to fight the battle on a community-by-community basis. Secondhand Smoke continues to be a major health hazard in Oklahoma. Research shows there is no risk-free level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Approximately 700 deaths in Oklahoma each year are attributable to secondhand smoke exposure, about the same number that are caused by motor vehicle accidents. The Oklahoma’s “Smoking in Public Places and Indoor Workplaces Act” was broadened in 2003, but it left several broad exemptions or loopholes and these loopholes pose a known public health risk for thousands of Oklahoma workers in these places, including many nonsmokers. Proponents of the bill contended it would save and protect Oklahoma workers from secondary smoke and that it will

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save Oklahoma millions of dollars in decreased healthcare expenses. However, another dark cloud of smoke came looming over the capitol and to the astonishment of the bill’s proponents, it was voted down by the General Government Committee. In a 6 to 2 vote, the panel contented the bill would open things up to ultimately being tough on business. “This is not about local control,” said Sen. Rob Johnson, R-Yukon. “It is about infringing on business people’s rights.” Governor Fallin has strongly disagreed. The Governor had called for local control in her State of the State address earlier this month. “Now, the tobacco interests may have won a battle yesterday, but they didn’t win the war,” Fallin told reporters. She pledged to get the argument on the ballot for all of Oklahoma to decide. The Governor explained that the issue was personal for her because both of parents died from smoke related diseases. Governor Fallin joined local mayors and state health officials in a press conference at the State Capitol to launch a petition initiative. She said she expects enough public support to get the issue on next year’s ballot. They will soon begin a campaign to collect enough signatures to see that Oklahomans get to vote. This is definitely an issue worth watching. Where there is smoke, there is fire. This one is about to blaze.

Losing Oklahomans hurts more

When it comes to clean air, Texas has a competitive edge. That’s why it’s vital that we support smokefree – in restaurants, bars and other workplaces. Smoking and secondhand smoke cause heart disease and cancer. Why put our workers and our state’s competitive edge at risk?

To learn about restoring Local Rights come to An Evening of Expression: Conversations with our Elected Officials March 12, 2013 | 7:00 p.m. The Vault Restaurant 620 S. Cincinnati | Tulsa, OK 74119

Let’s beat Texas. Rally at StopsWithMe.com.

the art of apologetics

What is Apologetics? by Jim Burkett

or several years a survey was conducted by a campus ministry at the University of Georgia among incoming freshman during the orientation week. Consistently over the years the survey indicated that over 90% of the freshmen believed in God and that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. A year later, less than 50% of that class even believed in the existence of God. Having been involved in pastoral ministry in university communities for 32 plus years, I regularly would hear one of the sad but frequent stories from Christian parents who witnessed the faith of their son and daughter crumple under the intellectual and spiritual assault that they faced at the university. Most parents would recount the involvement of their son and daughter in the church youth meetings, discipleship programs, and even participation in mission trips. Add to this scenario the enormous moral and spiritual challenges facing our nation plus the seemingly stagnation of our churches and Christians find themselves facing the reality that there is a real spiritual battle taking place in our culture and nation. A recent survey conducted by Val Hastings with the UMC indicated that unless there are significant spiritual changes in American churches, within ten years 60% of our churches will be closing their doors! According to British theologian Michael Green, one of the major reasons that the Early Church grew so quickly in the first four centuries was because of a discipline and ministry called “APOLOGETICS.” What is APOLOGETICS? Although the word APOLOGETICS sounds like we are to apologize, the New Testament word for APOLOGETICS literally means MAKING A RATIONAL CASE FOR CHRISTIANITY. 44

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As Christians we are commanded to love God with all of our heart and with all of our soul and with all of our MIND (Matthew 22:37). But to grow intellectually and to deepen our faith, we must be able to defend what we claim to be true. It is at this point that APOLOGETICS comes into the intellectual and spiritual equation. Christian APOLOGETICS can be defined as the New Testament ministry that provides the rational and intellectual basis for believing the Truth-Claims of Christianity and answering the objections raised against Christianity. APOLOGETICS strengthens Christians in their faith in God, Christ, and the Bible as well as help unbelievers overcome the intellectual barriers they have to trusting Christ and removing the doubts that may hinder their spiritual growth. APOLOGETICS uses any area of study to intellectually confirm Christianity. Evidences can come from logic and philosophy (sound reasoning), law (legal reasoning), medicine (such as confirmation that the crucifixion would have killed Jesus), history (the historical evidence confirming the historicity of Jesus and his life, death, burial, and resurrection), archaeology, fulfilled prophecy, science, manuscript studies, and data from other areas of knowledge. How impacting is APOLOGETICS? Some of the most noted atheists have been compelled by the overwhelming proofs for the factuality of Christianity. Many of the great Christian scholars, philosophers, professors, and leaders were former atheists. The American Atheists, Inc. helped sponsor a formal debate between their spokesman, Frank Zindler, a former professor of geology and biology, and noted Christian philolospher, Dr. William Craig. The news media picked up the story and generated quite a buzz since a church would be willing to sponsor an event that confronted the toughest objections to Christianity. News spread nationwide as 117 radio stations asked to broadcast the debate live. On the night of the debate, traffic was gridlocked around the church. 7,778 people crowded into the auditorium. The atmosphere was electric! Dr. Craig shared five powerful arguments for God and Christianity. He stated that the beginning of the universe definitely points towards a creator (“Whatever begins to exist has a cause; the universe began to exist; therefore, the universe has a cause.”).

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