The Rock magazine edition 8

CELEBRATING THE BAILIWICK OF GUERNSEY

ROCK

THE

EDITION EIGHT

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AGAMEOF

HALVES TWO in W THE ROCK MEETS THE GUERNSEY FC WAGS

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ns a Clarti ive TriAc y Bod t en Treatm

© Nick Despres Photography

Celebrate in Style at The Venue at Fermain Valley Hotel Leave it all in our capable hands – we carter for everything from an intimate family lunch or lavish surprise party to arranging your unforgettable wedding day or unique hen party – we have it covered.

• 43 luxuriously appointed bedrooms starting from just £100 per room per night • Elegant private dining and banqueting room with welcoming bar • A choice of 2 excellent restaurants

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Private 3D cinema with bar lounge Sea view balcony, terrace and gardens Complimentary shuttle service Access to various activities such as cocktail making classes, coasteering and kayaking

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EDITOR: Jill Chadwick PHOTOGRAPHERS: Stacey Upson, Chris George William Johnson PRINTING: Herald Print

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Welcome

D

are I say that summer has arrived? Well it had better because we at the Rock are taking a leap of faith and getting you all geared up for the great outdoors. We have been test driving the best in garden furniture to give your decks and patios an instant face lift - and encouraging you to indulge in some serious health and beauty pampering to get your body in shape to show off on the beach!

We all feel better in the sun – and it’s no secret that laughing is the antidote to a stressful day, so check out our Stand Up for Comedy special showcasing the forthcoming Comedy Festival.

Nick Creed and Andy Fothergill give us a preview of some of the top acts they have secured this year – and they throw down the gauntlet to any would be standup comics out there who might feel able to meet their open mic challenge.

Our resident ArtsRock poet Stephen Roberts has put himself through the open mic pain barrier in the past – twice! His column this month gives us a few pointers on why he did it!

Our other new editorial slots are proving popular - Derek Coates shares his surprising and insightful fantasy dinner party guest list with us and Mike Allisette, our resident App-aHolic has chosen to review a few new apps which will get you

heading off to foreign shores with ease.

This month sees the annual Muratti final and we have found a ‘golden oldie’ image of a 1981 squad way back in the day. GFC has done an amazing job of putting Guernsey on the map and we have put the team in a wry, ‘What If’ spotlight by propelling them into the English Premier League with the Man Utds, Liverpools and Chelseas.

Talking of Chelsea we decided it was time to give the Wives and Girlfriends a treat too.

We invited them to join in a fun afternoon out at Fermain Valley’s Rock Garden, to showcase a few fun local fashions from Creaseys.

The girls are a glamorous bunch and they had a great time having afternoon tea and sipping cocktails – in true WAG style!

So hopefully we have covered a few bases in this issue - fashion, beauty, interiors, lifestyle, charity, sport, food and all things Guernsey have been covered. It just leaves me to say enjoy these long summer days – and maybe head down the Track to cheer on the lads!

Jill

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Contents

WAGS FASHION WITH THE OTHER HALF OF GUERNSEY FC WHAT IF? GUERNSEY FC MADE IT TO THE BIGTIME? FOOD MICHEL ROUX Jr PRIZE FANTASY DINNER PARTY WITH DEREK COATES BODY ROCK GET YOUR BIKINI BODY READY EDITOR’S CHOICE BODY TREATMENTS AND MORE HOME NEWS NICOLA FRASER ON FUTURE INTERIORS CONFESSIONS OF AN APP-A-HOLIC MIKE ALLISETTE AND HIS STRANGE ADDICTIONS COCKTAIL HOUR WITH SPORTING BET’S JO WYATT THE CAREERIST PLANNING FOR A LIFE AFTER REDUNDANCY LETTER OF THE LAW DOES MEDIATION WORK? ON YOUR DOORSTEP 24hrs IN THE CITY WIN CLARINS BODY TREATMENT

Contributors: JON TAYLOR ADVOCATE PENNY GRAINGE STEPHEN ROBERTS MIKE ALLISETTE LYNDA SIMS CLAIRE HENDY POPPY JOHNSON Dr JONAS HOINN NICOLA FRASER

“Don’t ever let anyone say that cancer is a journey. It’s not a bloody journey…a trip to Brighton is a journey.

LISA LYNCH

Glyn Smith, third from right, has been a fan since he was a boy, he played in one and now runs the company who are headline sponsors. The Muratti is an intrinsic part of our community. As important as Liberation Day and Insurance Corporation should be praised for their commitment in supporting this historical event. The Rock predicts a 2-0 win for us with Gus Mackay starring for The Greens.

EVENT OF THE SEASON

“My parents freaked out when I dropped out of university so I suppose if I’d listened to them I wouldn’t be here now so never underestimate the power of your gut instincts and being brave enough toRoyfollow them”Geoff Rowe Brehaut Kevin Le Gallez

Andy Rowe

Willie Kennedy

Drew Pollack

Jim Cooley

Tony Tostevin

Rodney Webb Colin Fallaize

Glyn Smith

Clockwise from far left: Montana Cauvin, Harriet Ozanne, Danni Ballard, Katie Le Lacheur

A GAME OF TWO HALVES WAGS / A DEFINITION: A selection of devoted, unpretentious, fun loving females found supporting their other halves (well known footballers) come rain or shine at matches, easily distinguished by their positive attitude, good nature and excellent skin tone. Ostensibly present for the purpose of massaging sore muscles, egos and hangovers, but in reality with the intention of being a dedicated and much appreciated custodian of our island’s footballing treasures.

B

eing the wife or girlfriend of a top local footballer is not always as glamorous as it might appear – especially when you find yourself cheering on the boys from chilly stands and side-lines.

So we at The Rock decided to invite four local WAGS to indulge themselves in a day of chilling out in luxury at The Fermain Valley Hotel whilst showing off some of the latest fashions from LK Bennett, Jaeger and Tommy Hilfiger from the spring and summer offering from Creaseys and some day and evening designs, shoes and accessories from Freelove.

Montana Cauvin, girlfriend of Jamie Dodd, Danni Ballard, girlfriend of Craig Young, Katy Le Lacheur, girlfriend of Dave Rihoy and Striker Nigel Hutton’s girlfriend Harriet Ozanne enjoyed a hair and make-up pampering session, then hit the terraces of Fermain Valley Hotel, and the lure of the Rock Garden’s cocktail bar, to show how good a

Guernsey WAG looks when she decides to hit the Town.

Rock were delighted to have Cat from Thomas and Miles – and cosmetics from Creasey’s Benefit collection for those all-important finishing touches.

Katy, who has a young son Bailey explains that she, like most of the GFC squad partners, tries to see as many games as they can.

“But it can be difficult when you have young children. Training does take up a lot of the player’s spare time as does the travelling and match days, but I try to support the team when I can.”

Montana, who has dated defender Jamie for a year, agrees.

“We do go along to a lot of the matches and all the girls get on. On Muratti Day we will all get together as group, have a barbeque and a few drinks maybe, and then head off to the match. It is the biggest day of the year and a great night out – especially if we win. We will be hitting the town.”

Danni Ballard, who has three young children, said she was delighted to enjoy some much needed pampering.

“Normally there is little time for hair or make–up so this was a rare treat.”

Harriet enjoys having fun – and she was the WAG who turned up with lashes for everyone!

“I do like dressing up – and it was such fun going to choose our outfits, I just love the Hilfiger raincoat, it is so WAG like – and it is a classic style that will never date.”

Katy is another young mum with little time to spend on herself.

“This has been amazing, I just feel so glamorous,” she said.

At one point earlier in the season the girls had visions of seeing the team head off to Wembley.

Says Montana: “We were all talking about what we would wear – it was going to be great – just like real WAGS. But this has been a fun day out too……. maybe next year.”

HAIR BY: GRADUATE STYLIST CAT ROWLES (THOMAS & MILES) PHOTOGRAPHY: STACEY UPSON

“My parents freaked out when I dropped out of university so I suppose if I’d listened to them I wouldn’t be here now so never underestimate the power of your gut instincts and being brave enough to follow them”

Harriet wears Pale blue and cream dress by Darling £61 Pointed beige court shoe by Guess £110 All from Freelove Multi coloured platform shoes by Ravel £65 all available from Freelove

Montana wears: Pale pink dress by Darling ÂŁ64 Pink jewelled shoes by Bourne ÂŁ196 all available from Freelove

Katie wears: Coral short sleeve dress £51 with floral jacket £69 – both Darling at Freelove Montana wears: LK Bennett blue wrap dress £123 from Creaseys

Katie wears: LK Bennett red dress, £205 available from the new spring and summer range at Creaseys.

“We do go along to a lot of the matches and all the girls get on. On Muratti Day we will all get together as group, have a barbeque and a few drinks maybe, and then head off to the match. It is the biggest day of the year and a great night out – especially if we win. We will be hitting the town.”

Cream crochet look dress by Fenn Wright Manson £226 – Creaseys

Guess Shoes - £110 Freelove

Lace Darling bag - £36 Freelove

Beige and Blue printed dress by Supertrash £79 from Freelove

Cream classic three quarter raincoat – Tommy Hilfiger £209 Tommy Hilfiger jeans, £91 Tommy Hilfiger Bronti Giraffe shirt £64 LK Bennett chloe nude coloured bag, £205. All from the current Hilfiger and LK Bennett collection at Creaseys.

Jaeger multi print dress, £237 – Creaseys

Navy lace dress by Darling £110 Freelove

“My parents freaked out when I dropped out of university so I suppose if I’d listened to them I wouldn’t be here now so never underestimate the power of your gut instincts and being brave enough to follow them”

Tommy Hilfiger orange and blue stripe dress £127 – Creaseys

Montana wears bright yellow Tommy Hilfiger mac –£209 – with a Jaeger multi print bag £170 and scarf £94. This is teamed with Tommy Hilfiger jeans £91 - all Creaseys.

Harriet wears the classic cream Hilfiger mac £209 with Hilfiger Milan classic jeans, £91 and Bronti Giraffe Shirt £64 and an LK Bennett classic nude bag £205 – all Creaseys

Jaeger classic little black dress with back tie detail £189 Jaeger multi coloured bag £170 both Creaseys Black and gold shoes Ravel, Freelove £65

BODY TALK

Weddings

Portraiture

Events

Corporate

14 Le Bordage, St Peter Port c o n t a c t S t a c e y o n 0 7 7 8 1 4 6 1 6 0 3 o r v i s i t w w w. s t a c e y u p s o n . c o m

What if...

Guernsey FC made it to the bigtime?...

S

“

teve Dewsnip is an intuitive man. He, along with his There is the absolutely way I’m Guernsey FC founders, realised island’sno football watching that,” exclaimed community was missing a trick. They believed our the love of as given his best man whipped the game, pride for our island groom and God sporting talent out the stagsporting nights pre-dinner could surely be put to a greater test. And entertainment. so Guernsey The groom, frustratedFC with best FC was formed. Two seasons later, Guernsey is his managing mates enthusing for a film including expectations and Steve has seen an opportunity to court a four potential new sponsor. weddings and a funeral, thankfully had a back up 2012/13 plan entitled Theand Hangover It’s Guernsey last game of the season they’veII. The to stag started well. made promotion by a whisker theweekend next levelhad in the FA’s so Step Ten friends, one brother and two fathers, 4 of the amateur game. But all is about to change. Steve has got one to be and one parental, wind that Batelco, the company thatin-law purchased Sure (Cablehad & into in thethe Fermain Valley for what Wireless) are keen to upchecked their profile local community. they eye thought be aopportunity weekend of Therefore, Steve with a keen for awould business bonding over a few jars, a round invites the company to the ‘Greens’ last home game of theof cards, season against Farnhamexquisite Town. food and a night on the town to follow.

Theby best however, had other As if his intuitiveness was honed theman training of Tony Vance Tom, school friend, himself, Steve discovers,ideas. through his abusiness circles,colleague that the round annoyance for last some twenty chairman of Batelco will and be inallthe island prior to the home year’s had decided thaton a quiet weekend game of the season. Invitations made, catering standby and Fermainblade Valley of was the best pitch pampered to withinatathe helicopter its life, Steveplace and to host aare stag weekend for his Sheikh long his team of dedicated Directors ready to welcome Hamad bin Abdulla Al-Khalifa to Footes Lane. suffering but soon to be married best For those of you unfamiliar mate with Mat.Guernsey’s new telecoms chief, Sheikh Hamad bin Abdulla Al-Khalifa therooms secondthe son of On checking into is their boys, the ruling King of Bahrain.

He is an interesting character; he is30 a albeit some aged anywhere between motor racing aficionado,and Led72, Zeppelin fan and owns a home walk in were soon taking a leisurely rural Devon. He also happens of theBay world’s down to to be theone Fermain café wealthiest for the start individuals. His fondnessofofaDevon meansRocquettes, Guernsey strikes day drinking reminiscing a chord with Batelco’s chairman.

Thepast sun, and sea,generally rural idyllridiculing and about Mat’s chance to see the story behind the for headlines that amusement. is Guernsey The the groom everyone’s FC, is enough to tempt the Sheikh to our shores. best man however, had other ideas.

Guernsey FC put on an inevitable and as the visiting Arriving at show a sun-drenched Fermain Bay dignitaries retire for refreshments after the game, theorganized Shaikh last August, apparently Tom suggests to Steve that it must toand afford suchintalented even be thedifficult weather, a man a wetsuit players when the crowd,and albeit large byofisland standards, is the not a handful lifejackets greeted going to generate sufficient revenues for such quality pros.

Steve party. Before the groom could say “if you explains the charitable aspect of thehe club and how players do it think I’m...” was debagged, shoved for the love of the sport. in Utterly charmed by the over approach a wetsuit and carried head and by the general attitude and innocence fordispatched the love of the party and intogame, lappingthe waters Sheikh decides to change Guernsey FC forever.

“I likebay as the tide rose towards thewould Fermain to take you to the Promised ” exclaims the sea Land wall. Mr AntDewsnip, Ford Parker then provided Sheikh. Steve a fair skinned Northern type, reminds himself the necessary equipment for the restofof 50 degree temperaturesthe in the shade thanks the Sheikh’s party to tryand a session of coasteering. kind offer but had plenty of important work to do during the off For those of you unfamiliar with the past season. “No, you sweet man, I am referring to your club. I want time it’s essentially jumping and scrabbling them in the Premiership to show those overpaid, pruning infidels across the cliff face. As it turned out it across the water that football is a game to be treasured.” proved to be a huge hit a great way to And so Guernsey FC is off to the Premier League for season bond with your fellow stags. After an hour 2013/14. It goes something like this. The Bahrain royal family or so jumping, swimming and screaming suggest to the UK government that if they would like to retain

exclusive rights to oil production into Europe then perhaps they would invite a new team into the top flight of English Football. David Cameron believes it is an excellent concept and says they have a season to prove their worth.

Things move fast in football as Guernsey FC should know, having played twenty odd games in the space of a few weeks in this current season.

Steve receives the news that the Sheikh’s request has been accepted but before he agrees he first must put it to the team and fans. Footes Lane is packed for this extraordinary meeting. The 3,000 or so supporters and players all confirm that it is too good an opportunity to miss out on. There are three objectors. A Culture & Leisure representative concerned for the fixture clash with Guernsey’s petanque league which start its season in April and utilise the long jump sand pit at the Lane, Roary the lion who can do without the ketamine necessary to sedate him on flights and an Environment employee who feels the new wooden fence won’t comply with Premier League ground regulations. However, he does retract his objection when the club agree to install hanging baskets full of geraniums around the ground to mitigate the unsightly larger fence. Commonsense prevails and Guernsey FC, with the backing of government, Belgrave Wanderers and the Guernsey Kart and Motor Club, goes about fast tracking a 20,000 all-seater stadium at the Victoria Avenue site. The new ground is built within two months and the Batelco Stadium is approved by FA officials in preparation for the new season. The ground features media suites, executive boxes, ground source heating, rainwater harvesting to keep the pitch as green as the shirts, and a Nandos restaurant for visiting players.

Tony Vance is his consummate level headed self during TV interviews prior to the start of the season. “We’ve worked

very hard pre-season but our ambitions are realistic and the jump from nonleague to Premier League is enough to give any of us altitude sickness. We have courage on our side and I hope we don’t let our island down,” said the manager.

Fortunately for Mr Vance, Gareth Bale’s aunt once spent time working as a waitress at Friends Bistro and therefore qualifies for a place in the starting eleven. Bale’s current club confirmed that Guernsey FC had bought out the player’s contract and wished Gareth well in his new ‘unpaid’ venture. “I’m doing it for the love of the game me. They’re a tidy team and I think we’ll give a few sides a shock or two,” said the Welshman. Xavi Hernandez who also qualifies by way of his great uncle, a tomato grower, who worked in Guernsey with the Tomato Marketing Board back in the 70s said his designated charity UNICEF were very grateful for the cash donation made to them by Guernsey FC’s chairman once his contract expired with Barcelona.

Some new faces, a stunning ground and Vance’s calming influence are put to the test in the club’s first game of the season.

Stoke City arrive from the potteries and Tony Pulis is confident his team can put ‘one’ over the new boys. “They’re no Jersey says Pulis with tongue firmly in cheek but a brace from Allen, and Tardif at his very best, stop Crouch and company from having a laugh at Guernsey’s expense. 15,000 witness events and Peter Crouch confides it was all a bit too much for him. “They’re like whippets them boys, what’s his name, Dyer? Through my legs twice! Not just the ball but him too,” said Crouchy hurrying on to the team coach like an elephant haunted by mice.

Guernsey proceed to win their next five games, beating West Ham at Upton Park and Fulham away. Ross Allen is drafted into the England camp to face Ukraine after Danny Welbeck pulls out of the squad through injury and Ryan

Zico-Black is called up to the Northern Ireland squad. Colin Fallaize’s coaching credentials have also received the attention from the Australian FA who enquire about his availability for the vacant position coaching its ladies beach football team after the previous coach, Callum Best, retired through exhaustion.

After accepting the job and attending the fitting to measure him up for his official team Speedos, Colin is convinced by his colleagues to continue on the unique GFC journey.

Guernsey maintain a comfortable mid table position by the half way point in the season and avoid the sensational headlines that crop up during what is the media circle around the English Premier League (EPL) - unlike some of their competitors. In October, when Manchester United arrive in Guernsey for the first time, Sir Alex Ferguson has two cases of Claret confiscated at Guernsey customs after a Saturday morning spent at Sommelier Wine shop. Mario Ballotelli (on loan at Man U from AC Milan) causes chaos in the Crown marina when he attempts to dock his 100-foot gin palace.

He and Wayne Rooney are then fined by the club for failing to make the game after Wayne Rooney (collecting Mario from Crown Pier car park) struggles to work out how to set his parking clock in his hire car.

The controversy isn’t all GFC’s competitors making as Chris Tardif discovered when the team played their first game against Cardiff. Classic songbird Katherine Jenkins invited herself into the players’ lounge after Guernsey’s 2-0 win and made a beeline for GFC’s rugged keeper. “She told me I’d make a good Tenor but I’m not sleeping with her for any amount of money,” said an upset Tardif.

While the league has proved challenging but ultimately successful, it is in the FA Cup where Guernsey has found

success. Through to the quarter finals to face Spurs at home, after beating an Arsenal under eights team in the previous round, GFC rely on Xavi and Bale to come from behind and beat the Londoners.

Jermaine Defoe opens the scoring but suffers a lack of concentration when he spots the ‘50% off Peri Peri Chicken’ appearing on the Nando’s advertising board. Winchy finishes off Tottenham when he runs the length of the pitch to convert a Bale cross. The sports pages the following day profile Guernsey’s rise to the fore and make the claim Spurs are interested in buying Luke Winch to replace Bale at THE

North London club.

Guernsey FC however do have their critics and no more so than TV pundit Mark Lawrenson, who says GFC’s ‘TikiTaka’ style of football isn’t going to work in the Premier League. Following a close draw with Norwich, club captain Sam Cochrane is interviewed by Match of the Day’s Conor McNamara. “So Sam, a tight game and one that you controlled having the majority of possession. Lawro says your style of football won’t work in the EPL. How do you respond to that?” “Well Conor, although I find Mr Lawrenson’s fashion sense a stark reminder men in their fifties

should never be let loose in an Armani store, I do respect his footballing opinion.

That said, our style of play, above all, is a systematic approach to football founded upon team unity and a comprehensive understanding of the geometry of space on a football field. Among other things, a conceptual revolution based on the idea that the size of any pitch is flexible and can be altered by the team playing on it.

In possession, our formation is intent on creating space and therefore making the pitch as big as possible and the opposite, when not in possession, via our aggressive pressing of the ball when in the possession

‘A few days after the interview, GFC’s captain is invited to Cambridge University’s debating society to present his lecture on the physiological and perceptual measures that affect fitness, fatigue and running performance during 90 minutes of football’

of the opponent,” said Cochrane. Mark Lawrenson makes no further comment.

A few days after the interview, GFC’s captain is invited to Cambridge University’s debating society to present his lecture on the physiological and perceptual measures that affect fitness, fatigue and running performance during 90 minutes of football. Cochrane is also approached to model for the new summer 2014 range of Armani underwear and comes to notoriety when fellow model David Beckham witnesses Sam’s inaugural shoot and tweets ‘I’m going to need another pair of socks.’

After an inevitable dip in form due to fatigue, Guernsey FC make a respectable 16th place in the EPL but their run in the cup is the focus of all the attention as they make the final. A semi-final win over Milwall, during which their fans, intent on trouble, decide better of it when they hear the Dodd family are arriving en masse in support of their man.

Paul Whitehouse volunteers to appear in the video for ‘Green Army’, Guernsey’s FA Cup song, and adapt his MoreThan TV commercial Plymouth Argyle character.

Manzur Asghar, Guernsey’s popular DJ remixes the song and in time honoured

tradition creates a rap for Marc McGrath…

GFC don’t chase no money tree, we live in paradise don’t you see.

Vancy makes us play ferocious he is one the world’s best coaches. Big Col, his mate, we love him too even on the karaoke after he’s had a few.

Our game is hot yo! GFC is FIFA and subbuteo.

Our fans are mental, some of them even come from the Castel.

Cut us and we bleed green, we’re so good even Le God can’t get in our team.

We are green army and nothing can save ya’s… you should have gone to Specsavers!!

The song makes it to number one and Manzur Asghar wins an Ivor Novello award but all is in vain when GFC lose 2-0 to Man Utd in the Wembley final. Goals from Van Persie and Kagawa leave the Islanders deflated. Salt is rubbed into the wounds when fog delays a return to home and Guernsey’s 40,000 travelling fans leave the island largely unoccupied as a result.

On reflection GFC’s first EPL campaign is deemed a massive success by all in the game.

Highlights of the season include: Roary the Lion’s mascot dance off with Norwich’s Captain Canary. Roary wins in true Gangnam style.

The visit of SkySports Soccer Saturday pundit team in February, which was staged live from the Mariners (Jeff Stelling and Paul Merson become honoury members of the pub’s euchre team).

Tony Vance rejects overtures from Manchester City to replace Mancini who is sacked in the summer of 2013.

Ross Allen scores on his international debut against Moldova. Roy Hodgson compares him to Robin Van Persie and as a result the online fans forums are full of rumours linking a swap deal involving Allen and Man Utd’s Wayne Rooney.

Rooney’s wife Coleen, is spotted at Acorn House pre-school and reported to be interested in buying Havilland Hall during a visit to the island. Swoffers estate agent Spencer Noyon refuses to comment but does intimate house prices have rocketed on the Open Market since Guernsey made it to the EPL. Cockney actor and social commentator Danny Dyer makes a documentary about Guernsey FC called ‘It’s not about the money, money money.’

Paul Whitehouse volunteers to appear in the video for ‘Green Army’, Guernsey’s FA Cup song, and adapt his MoreThan TV commercial Plymouth Argyle character.

ON HER TERMS Writer, journalist, blogger and champion for so many who have experienced ‘the C word’ Lisa Lynch sadly lost her battle with cancer a few weeks ago. Lisa came to Guernsey in 2011 while she was in remission and shared her experiences with the Women at One lunch group which at the time was supporting a local cancer charity. Jill Chadwick spent a fun and totally non ‘pc’ time with Lisa while she was in the island, and she recalls, Lisa made it clear that cancer is a bitch of a disease which she could not stand to see sugar coated in any shape or form. The Rock’s editor pays her own small tribute to the gutsy young writer who has left such a huge legacy behind her. Nobody will ever forget Lisa’s no nonsense style of reporting a disease which sadly cut short her life and robbed us of a unique and talented young woman.

‘P’ and Lisa

Lisa Lynch and nephew Corey

I recall so vividly watching Lisa Lynch as she looked out over the cliffs at Icart.

Holding the arm of her best friend who had tagged along to give her moral support, Lisa’s face shone with wonder and pleasure.

“I always remember these moments,” she said beaming.

Happy to be alive, very much in love with her new husband Pete and looking ahead to an uncertain future, Lisa was not playing down her illness – merely showing it she was the boss- at least for now.

I remember her explaining that she had studied journalism with the ambition of one day editing Smash Hits. But as something called the internet happened and her favorite magazine became no more, Lisa found herself writing about wallpaper instead of Westlife and took a job on top drawer interiors magazines.

But she could not have known that the very disease that would take her life would also make her a famous and much loved writer whose work is recognized worldwide.

Lisa was just 28, and editing her second national interiors title, when she discovered a lump in her breast – a lump that spawned not just grade-three cancer, but a blog, a book, a writing career and a BBC film.

It led her to write her bestselling book ‘The C Word’, a warts and all account of her personal cancer diagnosis and treatment, which she said came at a time when she had met the love of her life and was living the dream at home and at play.

This feisty young blond was quite up front about how cancer is perceived and how people tend to tie it up in a pink ribbon.

Her book was the first of its kind: a mash-up of Sex and the City, her passion for Louboutin shoes (a reward for surviving chemotherapy) and her determination to remain herself throughout her illness.

Lisa told me: “Don’t ever let anyone say that cancer is a journey. It’s not a bloody

journey…a trip to Brighton is a journey.

Cancer can make you fat, you can lose your hair, and the treatments play havoc with your bowels……”

But somehow she managed to keep that zany humour intact.

She would hate to have been called brave, but that is what she was, sheer bloody mindedness got her through most of the dark days. .Stephen Fry called her ‘funny and brilliant“ and summed up her wit and strength: “I don’t think she’d mind me calling her the web’s No 1 cancer bitch.” She kept the title, adding: “But not, I hasten to add, cancer’s bitch.”

Throughout her battle with the disease she continued to write a blog keeping the world informed on how mad she was at having cancer. Her blogs spoke of a woman who has no fear for herself, just a painful sadness about leaving behind those she loved.

Three years into remission with newly grown hair, and a newly published book, Lisa dared to assume that she’d seen the worst… only for the c-word to crop up once more; this time in her bones and brain, and this time incurable.

When the cancer came back - and attacked that bright - brain all she cared about was the effect it would have on Pete, her husband, who she always simply referred to as ‘P’.

She worried very much about how he would feel when she was gone, because she made no secret of the fact that go she must.

Given only months to live, Lisa went ahead with even more treatment to buy her more precious time to enjoy with her family.

Lisa became an aunt – her inability to have children with ‘P’ was she says one of the cruellest blows of all and she fell in love instantly with her new nephew Corey.

Determined to see him grow a little, she fought the cancer even harder – and was

upset that the disease cast such a shadow over his arrival into the family.

On the day we spent with Lisa at Fermain Valley I remember taking her and her friend on a quick tour of the south coast cliffs and they posed for photographs, the bright blue sea sparkling in the background.

Cancer had not been beaten into submission, she knew that, but that day on the stunning cliffs in Guernsey, arm in arm with her best friend, life was good.

An hour later she had a room full of women, not the easiest of audiences, laughing about a subject which is anything but funny. But that was Lisa. Grasping the evil thorny worst case scenario of her life without one grain of self-pity.

But the cancer came back with a vengeance and while she was given a few weeks to live, Lisa defied the odds yet again and lived for many more months than she was given.

Days after she died her husband posted a sad goodbye on her popular blog calling her “the love of his life, his girl, his world”, and proclaiming her a light which will never go out.

The Women at One lunch group felt priviledged to have met Lisa, laughed with her and enjoyed hearing her take a no nonsense approach to cancer. It never defeated her as her legacy is one of strength and hope. You do get the feeling that Lisa Lynch has not gone too far away.

As ‘P’ wrote recently, “She lived her life on her terms and a year ago I woke up to find her writing us instructions on how she was going to die in a way that only Lisa could, she left us in exactly the way she had planned. ” ‘P’ is now looking at ways to ensure that her positivity lives on and those who met her must surely hope for the same.

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BODYROCK: Beach body ready

Sadly the winter months can leave us looking pale and uninteresting.

With summer on the way its time to shed the winter layers and take a long look at what shape you are in to hit the beach.

The Rock has enlisted the help of some of the island’s top health and beauty gurus to get you looking good and in shape - ready to slip on your shorts and bikinis and strut your stuff on the sand.

It's May already and swimsuit season is just around the corner. Maybe you meant to start getting in shape sooner (like back in January) but it didn't happen. So now you're wondering how to get results — and fast.

The good news is that you can slim down and shape up in as little as four to eight weeks. The question is how much.

It depends where you're at now, If you're hoping to lose 50 pounds in eight weeks, it's not going to happen. Eight or 10 pounds is more like it. Have realistic expectations.

Health experts say you can safely lose up to two pounds a week. So in eight weeks, you could lose as many as 16 pounds.

But that's a fairly aggressive weight-loss goal. A more modest — and probably doable — approach is to lose a pound a week, experts say. And even that could significantly alter your beach body. In eight weeks, eight pounds could make a big difference in how a swimsuit looks on you. But don't go overboard.

Bear in mind that losing too much weight too fast could actually undermine your goals

because if you shed more than two pounds a week, you're losing muscle along with fat. You don't want to be thinner and flabbier just lithe and toned.

Severely restricting your diet — by cutting more than 500 calories a day — also can defeat your weight-loss efforts. When you do that, your body panics, this can lead to cravings, irritability and even a slower metabolism as your body fights to hang onto fuel.

Working out too intensely, particularly if you've gone from couch potato to fitness

fanatic, could put you at risk of injury. So where do you begin?

"Watch your diet and sweat," says Gregory Joujon-Roche, a personal trainer who often has just a month or two to whip celebrities into shape.

Joujon-Roche, who has trained Brad Pitt and Tobey Maguire and is the author of the new book "One Body, One Life: 6 Weeks to the New You," recommends doing cardiovascular activity half an hour to an hour, five days a week, for optimal weight loss.

If you're a beginner, though, start with less-

intense exercises such as walking and work your way up to more challenging activities, he says. If you've been working out for a while but not seeing results, kick up your program by working at a faster pace or trying something new.

BODYROCK: Beach body ready Who says you have to suffer to be beautiful?

Daring to bare your face and body for the first time in summer is a bit of a trial at the best of times – especially if the winter months have left you pasty, pimply and less than toned. But take heart. We at the Rock have been out there test driving the very best in face and body beauty treatments and fitness regimes to make sure you are looking like golden gods and goddesses!

Editor’s choice

Rock’s featured Best Facial to give you a glowing summer face Active Beauty’s Guinot’s Hydradermie, the facial with star quality. 1 hr. 20 minutes, recommended every four to six weeks.

Facials have come a long way in recent years but it can be difficult to believe the marketing hype which can promise you all manner of anti-ageing miracles.

But the claim that the exclusive Guinot Hydradermie facial will give your complexion a youthful radiance – and deliver this skin care miracle in the time it would normally take to eat lunch is spot on!

Like most women, I have tended to cover up my face during the winter months, replacing my subtle summer tinted moisturiser with a heavier matt foundation.

And, unless you are a slave to the twice daily cleanse tone and moisturise routines, then perhaps, like me, your complexion is not exactly glowing with health and vibrancy as summer beckons.

So being asked to try out the comprehensive range of Guinot facial treatments - and products - now available at Activebeauty, arrived in the nick of time.

I opted for the anti-ageing Hydradedernie – which I had read up on but somehow it sounded too good to be true. I simply hoped that it would fulfil its promise of a luminous

glowing skin after a single treatment – and I have to confess it did just that.

For sheer relaxation alone the session would have been worth it. A tense morning was followed by an hour of bliss. An aromatic mask was applied to my face, it was swathed in filmy gauze and gently the therapist applied the positive and negative charges which felt like they were doing serious, if relaxing business –and they were!

This is a unique and innovative facial treatment which enables fast and deep penetration of ionised treatment ingredients down into the lower levels of your skin.

Georgia Le Page heads up the beauty team and she was keen to explain how this type of facial is now so much more advanced.

“We use active ingredients with positive and negative charges which rapidly penetrate the epidermis allowing for really deep moisturisation,” she explains.

In the past this treatment could leave you with a slight metallic taste, but not anymore. The process brightens the complexion by stimulating skin cell oxygenation and microcirculation.

The treatment – which is popular in top salons world wide - is a relaxing; soothing one where beautiful smelling oils and lotions smooth you toward a brighter fresher faced you.

The relaxing facial, head and neck massage was simply the icing on the cake. Using aromatic essential oils, Georgia massaged my face and neck and magically smoothed away what had been a stressful week!

The salon recommends that you have this specialised beauty treatment once a month to see a long-term difference, though I felt and looked better after one session. As I sauntered to the car – a first in itself as I am normally running at 100 mph. But I was in the mood to take my time and simply enjoy the feeling of being chilled out as well as smoothed out!

A close friend stopped me as I got into my car and asked if I had been on holiday. “You look so well”, she added. “What have you been up to?”

Saying I had simply enjoyed my first facial in a long time sounded a bit lame, but it is the truth. Since the treatment not only have I not used a full foundation – I no longer seem to need the coverage – it just felt wrong to cover up a naturally glowing skin. My face has enjoyed the ultimate spring clean – now the fun has to stop and the house cleaning begin!

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o Guaidnermie HydFr acial Call uty Bea21 e v i t Ac on 7212

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“This is a unique and innovative facial treatment which enables fast and deep penetration of ionised treatment ingredients down into the lower levels of your skin.”

BODYROCK: Beach body ready Editor’s choice

Our best body treatment:

The Day Salon’s intense and indulgent Triactive contouring, detoxifying and nourishing body massage – an impressive line-up of four highly personalised results driven body treatments all rolled into one effective treatment.

Rock editorial deadlines, late nights, a poor diet and at times a few too many glasses of Sauvignon Blanc have done their worst. Bikini body ready? Me? No! But I am now more than on track for treating myself to something new and slinky after a three tier body treatment which not only left my whole body feeling refreshed and polished, but my whole psyche went up a dozen notches on the relaxation front too.

The Day Salon specialise in luxury Clarins face and body treatments and I opted for the Clarins TriActive Body Sculptor Treatment that promises to be the ultimate sensory experience for your skin.

It combines body sculpting,

moisturising and exfoliation massages as well as firming age correction treatments while using botanical rich exfoliants supplements and rich masks.

The consultation is the first and possibly most critical stage of the body treatments as the therapist checks your skin texture, circulation, water retention, and dehydration, firmness and muscle definition. My therapist then selected the specific products to give me a personalised body mask - in my case a mix of geranium, caffeine agrimony, guarana and sunflowers to help kick start a sluggish circulation.

Each body treatment begins with a cleansing and refining exfoliation using CLARINSPRO intensive peeling

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lotion. Soothing hot towels are used to take off the lotion and then you are set adrift on a cleaning, soothing and massaging rollercoaster ride of fantastic sensations and amazing aromas.

The first stage prepares the skin with a combination of top-to-toe skin refining exfoliation and detoxifying lymphatic drainage massage. The second stage is the most personalised and focuses on the skins’ absorption of active ingredients with a combination of deeper circulation and absorption boosting massage, a supplement and mask. The third and final stage is all about reinforcing or optimising the results with an application of home-prescribed body creams, balms, lotions and gels.

My 75 minute session ended with the application of a Body Contouring Gel-Mask made from caffeine, geranium, baccharis, uncaria tomentosa and sunflower. After another full body massage and application of this hydrating cocktail my whole body felt smooth, glowing, smooth as silk and beach ready.

Active ingredients: Exfoliating Body Cream – bamboo powders, mineral powders and polyethene Contouring Body Supplement – caffeine, geranium agrimony, guarana Hydrating Body Supplement – aloe vera, katafray Preparatory Exfoliating Body Lotion – glycolic acid, salicylic acid 6% Firming Body Supplement – centella asiatica, lemon thyme, oat sugars

Win!

The Day Salon is offering a competition prize of a Clarins TriActive Body Sculptor Treatment that would normally cost ÂŁ63.

Send your answer to the following question to Editor’s Choice, The Rock magazine, Guernsey Herald Limited, Braye Road, Vale, Guernsey GY2 4WX. How long does a TriActive treatment take?

Or get 20% off your Clarins body treatment Rock readers can enjoy a 20 percent discount off this treatment if they take a copy of the magazine with them to the salon during this promotion. Offer ends 30th June.

GETACTIVE We all lead increasingly busy lives and the stresses and strains often show on our faces – and bodies. But as the long summer days approach, chilling out in the sunshine is the order of the day. But is your face and body holiday ready? And how can you fit in some serious pampering and beauty maintenance when you lead such a hectic lifestyle.

We head off to ActiveBeauty, St Peter Port’s most central one stop beauty and hair salon and product emporium which offers some of the best brands and treatments – at a time to suit you.

It’s lunchtime on a busy Friday afternoon and office workers are pouring out into the town popping in for a sandwich and a take away cappuccino – and nipping in to ActiveBeauty for some much needed waxing!

“We are the most central beauty salon for busy working men and women and we want to get the message across that we are happy to fit into your busy working diary”, explains Georgia Le Page who heads up the beauty therapy team.

“We open late on Thursday evenings and Sunday mornings by appointment as we understand that our hours have to be flexible. If you need a facial, a manicure or

waxing we can easily fit this in during your lunch break.”

Located in the previous ActivHair premises, ActiveBeauty has undergone an extensive refit and renovation to give a stylish three storey environment to give you the ultimate in luxurious pampering.

Says Georgia, “Our brands include Dermalogica, Guinot, La Prairie, Sisley, L’Occitane, Morrocan Oil, Caudalie, Kerastase, GHD and Miller and Harris.

Alex Monk started the business 11 years ago in the same building, though the recent facelift and rebrand to a one stop shop for beauty as well as hair treatments combined with the shop on the lower floor,

has raised the bar on all fronts.

Says Alex: “I came to Guernsey after a lawyer friend got a job here and suggested I take a look at the island. I did just that, met my wife and I am delighted to have built up such a tight knit staff of qualified and experienced stylists ever since. Last October we reopened as ActiveBeauty adding beauty and retail to our offering.

We realised the potential to offer our clients that bit more all under one roof and we have some amazing brands to offer.”

The hair salon which normally occupied the ground floor has moved up to the first floor so that the cutting and colouring sections now work as one. The top floor

has two luxurious beauty treatment rooms – and the ground floor is a showcase for the comprehensive range of high end hair and beauty products – and cosmetic ranges.

“We have recently acquired La Prairie and Sisley but like all our other products, they are VAT free. We have also just secured the Kerastase styling range which is fronted by Kate Moss and which has already taken off in a big way so we have lots of new and exciting things happening here.”

The salon is aimed at style conscious individuals who share one thing – to look the best they can be.

Says Alex: “We are here to offer the best hair styling and we are also the first port of call for office workers who can simply pop in for a lunchtime leg wax, brow shape, and manicure or pampering sessions for those with a little more time to spare.”

Beauty in a hurry at Active Beauty HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LUNCH BREAK! Check out our beauty to go pampering treats.

Georgia has devised a whole range of beauty treatments which you can enjoy within your lunch hour.

Choose from: Shellac manicures – pretty hands and toes in an instant Leg or bikini line waxing – going on holiday? No need to panic.

Hot stone massage – feel very good, very fast Too pale to party? Pop in for an instant lunch timeor after work tan.

And finally

A Lazy Sunday morning with time on your hands?

Book in with Georgia or Naomi for a full body treatment or luxury facial – or both! The salon also offers a whole range of out of hours beauty treatments.

Call

vey i t c Aeaut B 21221 on 7

“We are the most central beauty salon for busy working men and women and we want to get the message across that we are happy to fit into your busy working diary�

The ActiveBeauty Salon 3 Smith Street St. Peter Port Guernsey GY1 2JN www.activebeauty.co.uk

HOMENEWS

Nicola Fraser from GP & J Baker

Nicola Fraser on what every best dressed home is wearing this season When it comes to interiors, textile designer turned interiors guru Nicola Fraser has it pretty much stitched up.

She is a consultant with the prestigious Chelsea based G P and J Barker and Mulberry fabrics and she the was in the island to showcase the many fabulous designs available through local interiors specialist Lucy Brouard.

“Lucy has an amazing selection of the very latest in interiors – from fabrics to room settings and all in between, and we are delighted to have such a great link with Guernsey. I am kept busy travelling all over the country, but coming to Guernsey is just heaven. The place is amazing – matched by such a huge interest in home and interior design. The match between our service and fabrics – and Lucy is a fabulous one”, says Nicola.

Nicola spent time in Guernsey promoting the iconic Mulberry fabric ranges which

she says, she is able to show off properly – and in large scale format because she says, they do not believe in showing you tiny swatches.

“We like to be able to show off huge lengths of fabrics so it’s possible to see how they would work on chairs or sofas, blinds or curtains. Soft furnishings are now big news and the most cost effective way to ring changes on the design front – and bring to life a neutral backdrop. “ Nicola has her finger on the pulse of the latest looks for homes and she says, people should never be afraid to engage the help of a designer.

“You are only going to decorate and furnish a home four times in a lifetime so you must try to get it right. It is not as expensive as you may think to get in a professional designer to give you some help. There are a few basic rules and trends around right now, but basically my advice is to be bold and brave.”

“At the moment grey is the new magnolia and it’s a soft beautiful shade which looks amazing when themed through the home.

We are seeing lots of neutral linens – and texture is important. Mix glossy and matt – shake things up on that front, but keep the rest of your style storyboard simple.

Rugs and floors should have pattern – chairs and cushions too, but keep the wall palettes neutral.

There are a few stronger colours – indigo for example has totally taken over from aqua. But without a doubt the big news is pale grey – Farrow and Ball have a fabulous soft grey that is perfect for almost everything.

Our fabrics are basically six months behind the high street fashions so look out for animal prints – and we have already got the fish and deer designs among our iconic Mulberry ranges.

It’s all about style and being bold enough to experiment and put together an eclectic mix which at items should not work – but totally does!”

For further information of GP and J Baker, Mulberry and Lucy Brouard design and soft furnishings visit www.lucybrouard.com

Oriental Bird wallcovering from GP & J Baker

Homes & Garden range of wallcovering from GP & J Baker Lifestyle

Homes & Garden range of wallcovering from GP & J Baker Lifestyle

Country Days from GP & J Baker Lifestyle

Homes

In the fashionable and competitive world of home interiors, can a traditional DIY retailer really deliver an affordable luxury range of outdoor furniture?

HAZY SUMMER DAYS

N

ow you’ve pressure washed the patio within an inch of its life and generally spruced up your very own piece of Guernsey landscape, dreams turn towards the sun on our backs, alfresco dining and lazy Sunday afternoons with the papers. Make the most of your outdoor living room by gracing it with the latest furniture.

Shabby chic may have been on trend for your interiors this year but not outdoors. To complement the distressed furniture that abounds your home, sleek lines and comfort is what you should be relaxing in under the skies this summer.

Maximising the outdoors is one of the hottest vogues nowadays. This triggered the phenomenal entry of patio furniture in the market. So, are you up for another exciting home makeover? If so, then take a quick ride to discover the freshest trends in garden patio furniture for the year 2013...

This pretty Flores bistro set is perfect for al fresco dinings. Made of powder coated steel, the set comprises one two-seater table and two ready-assembled stackable armchairs with cushions all for ÂŁ99.00 at B&Q Superstore.

The Aland 8 seater outdoor dining set comprises an extendable Aland table and 8 chairs made from quality hardwood. Table extends to seat 8 people, or foldaway the extra section to save space when needed. Chairs fold for easy storage and include green cushions. ÂŁ347.00

Ideal for small spaces, such as patios and balconies, the pink Saba bistro set is made from powder coated steel. Both the table and chairs fold for easy storage.

Only ÂŁ59.00

From left: Belleza outdoor fireplace £49.00. Blooma Silene Mosaic Firepit Table. £99.00. Rio Stainless Steel Firebowl £39.00. Caleta Concrete Effect Clay Firebowl £59.00.

Far left: The Cavallo collection is made from fashionable blond wood, perfect for relaxed outdoor living. This coffee set includes one bench, one armchair and coffee table with in-built storage. £599.00. Cushions are included.

Middle: The Kansas barbecue can cook for up to 10-12 people and the electronic ignition allows for a quick start.

A temperature gauge, vaporiser bars, side burner and warming rack provide an ideal cooking experience. Four burners give the flexibility to use your barbecue for a range of cooking styles, as well as catering for a larger number of guests.£199.00.

Left: The Hanang 4 burner gas barbecue includes a vaporiser bar for improved flavour, push button ignition, two removable hardwood shelves and warming rack.

Suitable for a variety of cooking techniques thanks to an adjustable air vent system and temperature gauge. Two wheels for manoeuvrability. The wood in the product is responsibly sourced forest-friendly wood £349.00

This six seat dining set includes Praslin hardwood table with weather-resistant rattan effect armchairs with cushions £759.00

Bottom left: The versatile Comoro coffee set is made from weather resistant rattan effect. Includes coffee table with tempered glass top, a sofa that comfortably seats up to three people and one armchair.

Cushions are included. An additional armchair is also available separately. £699.00. Second left: This stylish coffee set includes weather resistant rattan effect sofa and armchair with cushions and coffee table £599.00. A range of string garden lights is now available in store. Far right: A new range of contemporary outdoor post and wall lights is also now available in store.

With clean lines and natural tones, this Lavezzi four seat dining set includes a table with composite top and four chairs. The chairs feature textoline seats, stack for easy storage and come ready assembled ÂŁ149.00

Store Address: Admiral Park St Peter Port GY1 2AS www.diy.com Tel: 01481 713005

Homes

SARK is unique – rightly described as the jewel in the Channel Islands’ crown but what’s it like to live there?

A local reports on life lived in the Sark lane.

As someone once said, the first lesson living in Sark teaches new residents is the difference between what you want and what you actually need and that difference can be huge. Take planning a dinner party for guests, for instance. Unlike almost anywhere else, where a menu is decided upon and a shopping is compiled over a mid-morning coffee, in Sark it’s simply a case of going to one of the shops and seeing what’s on offer.

What do you people do, particularly in the winter, is one of the most frequently asked questions that tourists put to residents and the answer is simple: Everything you do but without the use of a car.

Sark really is the car(e)free zone and for a community of roughly six hundred souls – a hundred of whom are children – the range of activities and social events available to residents would put much larger places to shame. In the last few weeks, for instance, the Friends of Sark Music have staged concerts featuring internationally acclaimed artistes and they offer a full programme of events throughout the year.

The island’s theatre group last month put on its own production of the hit musical Oliver – not so long ago the group staged The Wizard of Oz and before that an open air production of Midsummer Night’s Dream – and the range of talent among Sark residents is truly remarkable.

The focus for many of these activities is

the Island Hall, an imposing building which also accommodates Sark School as well as a licensed bar, restaurant and cafe, and facilities for indoor sport and leisure. The complex includes the Millennium Field on which the Sark Sports Club hosts visiting teams involved in soccer, rugby, cricket and hockey.

But Sark is not only about sport and leisure, although visitors and residents alike would be hard pressed to find anywhere as tranquil and beautiful to simply cycle or walk.

It boasts a range of eating places to suit all tastes and pockets and in the summer months it is possible to spend a week in Sark and enjoy top quality food and drink at a different location every day.

However, for home entertaining, there can be little anywhere that can beat David Curtis’s beef, Gavin Nicolle’s pork, Dave Scott’s lamb – although not Persil, the star of An Island Parish – not to mention Bas Adams’ shellfish and Jon Shuker’s scallops.

Add to that the fact that your refuse is collected once a week, if you want a job done in a hurry there are artisans in Sark whose skill at their chosen trades is comparable to those found anywhere else, and virtually everyone stops for a chat.

Indeed, as was explained to one new arrival many years ago, the rest of the world has clocks and watches but in Sark we simply have time.

‘the rest of the world has clocks and watches but in Sark we simply have time.’

MARKETPLACES: Sark Introduction to property in Sark Sark is virtually tax-free with a thriving economy offering residents a safe, high quality of life with few personal restrictions. The island is 3 miles long by 1 ½ miles wide with approximately 600 residents including a great number of children and youngsters who can revel in the freedom offered within this uniquely safe environment.

Sark was historically divided into 40 ‘tenements’ (or farms) by the original settlers from Jersey in 1565; these are still intact today as they have played a vital role in the island’s constitution, which has successfully evolved into a Human Rights compliant, modern governing body. As the 40 tenements are still indivisible the majority of Sark’s property is purchased by way of secure leasehold, with individual leases varying in length from one year to 150 years.

There are also a few Freeholds that were separated from Tenements many years ago, these and Tenements themselves do become available to purchase.

Copyright: Martin Parr / Magnum Photos Tanquerels is situated along Rue Lucas, a very short walk from La Collenette crossroads at the top of the harbour hill. It is convenient for all of the island’s amenities, especially the shops and offers a large private garden behind the deceptively modest road facing frontage. West-facing and slightly set back from the road this delightful property enjoys a primarily rural outlook with lovely views obtained from the first floor balcony, and has retained a good amount of original character combined with modern expectations and convenience. Unrestricted occupancy. Leasehold, with 62 years remaining of the straightforward Lease, which currently expires 13th January 2075.This four bedrome home is on the open market for £625,000.00. www.sarkestateagents.com Beautifully renovated & extended * Presented in a walkin condition finished to a high standard * Kitchen: Dining Room: Study: Lounge: Studio: * 4 Bedrooms(1 ensuite): 3 Bathrooms * Spacious, private garden with large decking area designed for ‘alfresco’ dining and living

Completely renovated and refurbished in 2009 by a team of skilled craftsmen with a flair for combining traditional skills with modern technology this house is now a fine example of traditional granite farm buildings having been lovingly converted to a warm and welcoming family home. Open Market - Unrestricted occupancy. £595,000 www.sarkestateagents.com

Farmhouse-style Kitchen: Dining Hall/Study Sitting Room with oak flooring, granite fireplace 3 en-suite Bedrooms: Conservatory Utility Room: mature sheltered Garden: 2 Outbuildings Close to village, harbour and island amenities yet nicely ‘tucked away’

La Ville Farmhouse is one of the few remaining original granite farmhouses on the island with its origins dating back to 1565 although the main structure seen today was built in 1620. As befitting the original island settlers it is built in a Guernsey farmhouse-style with well documented origins. * Later extensions and a recent refurbishment make this a warm & welcoming family home * In good condition throughout, the west-facing house has many original features * Farmhouse-style Kitchen: Sitting Room with log burner: Utility Room: Outbuildings * Master Bedroom with fireplace, Dressing Room

and ensuite/family Bathroom * Two further Bedrooms, one with ensuite Shower Room: Study/Bedroom 4 * Well planted spacious Gardens with areas for outside dining, animals, vegetables etc * Located towards the East coast, along a quiet private road giving seclusion & tranquillity * 13 year leas

Price: REDUCED to £130,000 o.n.o. for quick sale due to change in owner’s circumstances www.sarkestateagents.com

Magnolia Cottage is situated on the road that leads from the crossroads at the top of the Harbour Hill on to the north of the island with roads along the way leading to the scenic areas of the south, east and west.

The property is very convenient for all of the island facilities. The rural and coastal walks of the island are all easily accessible as are the shops, churches and school.

Price : Available to rent - £17,325 per annum. www.sarkestateagents.com

This beautifully presented two bedroom former chapel is available for sale on the open market with 18 years of secure tenancy remaining.

Price on application.

Contact owners direct on: 07781 125306.

Early summer GARDENING

The Rock’s new gardening guru Poppy Johnson gets to grips with longer days and vegetables.

I

f you have always fancied creating a kitchen garden, but only have limited space, then don’t despair.

This month Poppy Johnson, Rock’s gardening guru, has dug over her small veg patch and hit the the garden centres for plants and containers to help her grow her own.

May is one of my favourite months to be out in the garden. Borders and beds are crying out for new plants and containers are full of fresh soil and compost to await those beautiful trailing lobelias, scarlet geraniums and petunias which I aim to plant shortly But this month I am putting all my efforts into creating a vegetable patch

so that I can grow my own, impress my friends, and cut down my food bills maybe!

Nothing is more satisfying than growing your own vegetables and herbs.

Home grown fresh produce is a real bonus for any gardener – and this year, though space is limited, I intend to grow my own potatoes, sweet corn, green beans, courgettes and onions.

I have a tiny greenhouse just about big enough to house a few pots with tomatoes and a trough of salad leaves so I am well on the way to being a little bit more self sufficient on the food front.

But be warned, you can go a little bit crazy when you see all those trays

of tempting new plants so make a list before you head off to the garden centre.

Having said that I have to confess that I invested in a couple of lemon trees and a grape vine when I went gardening shopping recently! But the greenhouse is going to look beautiful, as well as provide me with some early salad contributions – and the lemon tress smells divine.

Outside in the garden I have dug over a new small square of previous lawn in order to create a herb garden – another of my challenges for early summer.

Over the next couple of weekends I will be filling it with various varieties of parsley, sage, thyme, rosemary, chives and mint.

March winds are on the way too and they are also notorious for their ferocity so check exposed plants are well supported.

Asters

Celosia

Salvia

Zinnia

‘Flowers to plant from seed this month: sunflowers, zinnia, marigolds, cosmos, salvia, celosia and asters.’

You have to be careful about not over planting, as some herbs can go a bit mad – mint for example can spread over a huge area so take care.

By now though, depending on where you have planted, you may have some salad crops already – some hardy lettuce, spring onions and fast growing raddish. Early potatoes should be ready to be dug soon, as will some varieties of cauliflowers, spring cabbage and sprouting broccoli.

Weeding is one of the most vital jobs right now but this is the time to sow! With many crops you can sow one set and then a few weeks later sow some more to give you a succession of fresh vegetables at the peak of perfection

While I am thinking all things veg, it is a good time to get some flower seeds on the go. Here is a check list of a few fruit – and vegetable options and jobs to do before the beach beckons.

Flowers to plant from seed this month: sunflowers, zinnia, marigolds, cosmos, salvia, celosia and asters. You can sow them where you want them to grow (pay attention to sun and water) or in pots.

Plants for your kitchen garden: cucumbers, radishes, tomatoes, squash, French beans, courgettes, spring onions and melons.

And while you are at it feed your lawn.

A bit of early season TLC will give you a greener, weed free lawn.

If you have any questions relating to your garden then please email Poppy at poppy@welovetherock.com.

GARDEN TASKS MAY - JUNE

New life in the garden with Poppy’s guide to this May and June’s jobs.

May is characterised by new life and abundant flowering. Spring is now in full swing, and you can enjoy it to the full on sunny days in your garden or on your patio, admiring all the gorgeous colours and flowers. Here are some useful tips to help you get the most out of your garden.

Regularly remove weeds, but do this carefully so that you do not damage emerging seedlings.

Persistent weeds can be treated with a selective weed killer. Cover other plants well to avoid damaging or even killing them. Use weed killer prudently.

Clear weeds and moss from garden paths and patios.

Give young trees, half-standard shrubs and standard roses a sturdy support and check the ties regularly.

Place supports between tall perennials now, as this may not be as easy as they grow bigger.

Tidy up early-flowering clematis.

Pinch out or cut off overblown flowers and seed boxes from ornamental flowering shrubs such as rhododendrons and lilacs.

This will improve flowering next season.

Check your plants regularly (daily/weekly) for snails and slugs. Remove any you find, or use a snail trap or snail bait. This will prevent the snails and slugs from eating the young leaves of your new plants.

Fertilize plant borders, ornamental shrubs and hedges. Hedges need a higher dose of fertilizer to ensure that the entire hedge gets sufficient nutrients.

June is the first real summer month.

Gardens and patio plants are still a fresh green but they are getting more and more colourful every day. Although there are many jobs to do in the garden, take your time, sit back and enjoy the warm sun and all the new colours and fragrances in the garden.

Plants grown in pots (so-called container plants) can be planted outside all year long.

Before planting them, submerge the rootball in a bucket of water until it is saturated.

However, never plant in waterlogged soil.

If you didn’t get round to planting roses or shrubs in autumn, now is your chance. Roses that are planted now will flower this summer.

Although it is a little bit late, summer-flowering bulbs and tubers can also still be planted.

They complement your perennials and annuals and the choice is huge.

If you haven’t sown any seeds yet but you do want to have some abundantly flowering annuals in the garden this summer, the beginning of June is your last chance. Sow directly into the garden with Busy Lizzie, all types of Poppies, Campanula, Violets, Aster, (African) marigolds, Lobelia, (Livingstone) or Daisies. Or try the taller seed plants like the many different types of Sunflower, Mallow, Cosmea and Helichrysum. Herbs like Dill, Fennel or Aniseed in the border are definitely worth a try.

June is also a good month for sowing biannuals like Forget-me-nots, Snapdragon and Campanulas. Although usually sold as annuals, these plants often re-seed themselves, so you will find them again in your garden next summer!

Kitchen garden When you have dug and fertilized your vegetable plot you can start sowing all sorts of vegetables from the beginning of May and into June.

Check the beds for weeds.

Give strawberries (potted ones too) a soluble potassium rich fertilizer once a week.

The first strawberries are ready for to be picked now. When you pick them, don't just pull the fruit but always nip the stalk with your fingernails, so you pick the berry, together with the plug. That way, fruits stay fresh for longer and the plants are less likely to get a fungal infection.

Kiwis can be planted from mid-May to the end of June. Always plant one male plant for every five to six (maximum) female plants. The male, pollinating plant needs to be cut back after flowering.

In the second year the side shoots can be trained horizontally along a trellis. New shoots will develop on these branches which are cut back to the fifth leaf. Fruiting branches should be cut back to the seventh leaf above the fruit. Repeat this process throughout the summer.

Fruits of Prunus types like almond, cherry, peach and plum can still be thinned to ensure a rich crop later on.

Remove any continued blooms from pears in May and June to reduce the risk of fireblight.

Check apple trees for mildew (white powdery shoots) weekly. By removing affected branches straight away you will prevent the spread of this fungal disease.

As soon as the apple has flowered there are predators lurking. The apple sawfly and plum sawfly lay their eggs in the flower hearts. The grubs then develop rapidly and munch away at the inside of the fruit. While the apple will grow on as normal it will be wormy. Take action as soon as you spot the flies.

ROCK

/

APPETIT Rock Appetit is all about good food.

Whether you’re dining in, out or about we bring you the best the Bailiwick has to offer.

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

Roux at Parliament Square, an elegant restaurant in Westminster, is an exclusive dining destination - popular with London’s politicians, socialites and high-powered business barons who love to linger over lunch. The brain-child of Michelin starred chef Michel Roux Junior – of Le Gavroche in Mayfair – Roux at Parliament Square boasts not only a luxurious and iconic location, but a light and inspired modern European menu that complements the tasteful interior. With period features and modern furniture, the dining room at Roux at Parliament Square is a light-filled space perfect for business dining, and the restaurant’s chic Pembury Bar is suitable for pre-dinner drinks and discreet cocktail dates.

You will win lunch for two at Roux at Parliament Square, return flights and transfers to the restaurant. All you need to do is send us a review in no more than 250 words of your best dining out experience in Guernsey this month. Entries need to reach us by Thursday 30th May.

WIN

LUNCH FOR TWO AT MICHEL ROUX’S PARLIAMANT SQUARE RESTAURANT

Hampshire Farmers Market

FOODNEWS Roast rack of lamb with pancetta, summer vegetables and mint bearnaise. (serves 4).

50 ml olive oil 4 (about 220gm each) 4-rib lamb racks 1 onion, thinly sliced 20 cherry tomatoes, skins pricked 8 slices (about 100gm) pancetta, coarsely chopped 150 gm podded peas (275gm unpodded) ¼ cup (loosely packed) mint leaves, coarsely torn

Mint béarnaise

100 ml white wine vinegar 3 sprigs of mint, leaves picked, stalks reserved 3 black peppercorns 1 golden shallot, thinly sliced 3 egg yolks 225 ml clarified butter, softened (see note)

Method

1. For mint béarnaise, combine vinegar, mint stalks, peppercorns and shallot in a small saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes or until reduced to 40ml (2 tbsp), then strain into a bowl, discarding solids. Whisk egg yolks and vinegar reduction in a large heatproof bowl over gently simmering water until pale and thick, then gradually whisk in clarified butter until well combined. Season to taste with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Coarsely chop mint leaves and add to béarnaise. Stand in a warm place until required. Makes 1 cup.

2. Preheat oven to 200C. Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a heavy-based roasting pan over medium-high heat. Season lamb and cook for 5 minutes, turning until browned all over. Roast in oven, turning once, for 8-10 minutes for medium-rare or until cooked to your liking. Rest for 10 minutes covered loosely with foil.

3. Heat remaining olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat, sauté onion for 5 minutes or until soft and golden. Add cherry

TRY THESE SENSATIONAL STEAK MARINADES Steak marinades usually contain 1-2 tablespoons of acidic liquids, such as wine, vinegar and citrus juice, per cup of marinade (any more acid can dry out your steak). These recipes will marinate four beef steaks. To make them, combine the ingredients in a glass or ceramic bowl, add the steaks and turn to coat, then cover and place in the fridge to marinate before barbecuing.

Soy, chilli & ginger marinade 80ml (1/3 cup) dark soy sauce - 1 large fresh red chilli, deseeded, thinly sliced - 2 garlic cloves, crushed - 2 tsp grated fresh ginger - 1/2 tsp Chinese five spice: marinate 4 hours or overnight Oregano & lemon marinade 80ml (1/3 cup) extra virgin olive oil - 1 tbs fresh lemon juice - 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tsp dried oregano - 1 tbs fresh thyme leaves: marinate up to 2 hours

Indian korma curry marinade 60ml (1/4 cup) olive oil - 2 tbs mild korma curry paste - 2 tbs chopped fresh coriander: marinate 2-4 hours

tomatoes and pancetta, and cook for 5 minutes or until tomatoes just split.

Meanwhile, blanch peas in boiling salted water for 5-7 minutes or until just tender, drain, add to tomato mixture, and stir to combine. Season to taste and add mint leaves. To serve, halve lamb racks, arrange pancetta and summer vegetables on plates, top with lamb and mint béarnaise and serve immediately.

Note For clarified butter, melt cold cubed butter, pour into a jug, stand, skim surface then pour off clear butter and reserve, discarding milk fat. 250gm butter will yield 225ml of clarified butter.

I know, it sounds outrageous. And it is.

Outrageously delicious! And if you seriously doubt that, try this: Chocolate/apple recipe

Ingredients:

golden delicious or fuji apples mars bars sultanas dark brown sugar liqueur muscat pure cream/crème fraiche

Method:

Apply an apple corer to four golden delicious or fuji apples – the variety is vital for this recipe as apples you would expect to be ideal for baking on a barbecue, such as granny smiths, are not – but do not push it all the way though. This is important because for the full effect, you need to retain a seal within the hollowed apple. So, remove the corer when you have pushed it about three-quarters of the way into the apple and dig out the core, and a bit of the surrounding flesh to enlarge the space inside, with a melon baller.

Now, chop a Mars bar into small cubes of about 5mm and put a few into each apple. Add a few sultanas, some dark brown sugar, and fill the rest of the space, loosely, with Mars bars cubes.

Then, pour in liqueur muscat to fill any remaining space and finish with a few more Mars bars cubes which can protrude from the apple.

Shape four 10cm squares of foil into rough halos in which you can stand the apples. Place these on a trivet on a hot grill and cook for about 20 mins.

When they are clearly cooked – you will know, I promise you – lift the apples off and serve in bowls with a drizzle of pure cream or a dollop of creme fraiche.

And, now, as the apple-chocolatecaramel-muscat syrup drizzles down your chin, say thank you, and apologise for doubting us. OK?

Monster of the deep The Spider crab is a native of our shores but it’s a nightmare to pick so we got advice from our freinds at Seafresh to find out how to prepare for the sweet taste of crab meat success.

If you’re lucky enough to pull one out of your fishing net, and if it is large enough (minimum 130mm from between the eyes to the back of the carapace for males), then keep it cool and out of water. As soon as you can, cook it. First, scrub it with a vegetable brush to remove the worst of the muck that collects on them, then kill it with a spike pushed through the centre of the underside and wiggled. On males, go in at the end of the pointed flap. It will go limp. Put it in a big pot of boiling water with a handful of salt added, and boil for 25 minutes. Take it out and plunge in cold water, then stand it on end to drain. There will be plenty of gunge floating about, just wash this off, it looks a bit horrid but it is OK. Cool it as fast as you can, and keep it in the fridge - eat within a couple of days.

To “pick” a spider crap, pull off all the legs and claws, break each segment with a hammer or rolling pin, and pull the white meat out. To get at the white body meat, prise off the shell and peel off and remove the feathery gills that are all around the body. Wash your hands after, these can harbour nasties. Then get to work on the leg sockets, that is where there is a load of white meat. There is some edible gooey brown meat around the shell if you fancy it. Getting at the socket meat is fiddly but worth it. Each leg socket has a thin shell around it, so you have to cut or pick this open and flick the meat out - it is best to use an old bent skewer and flick the meat into a bowl.

All this will take ages, and you will scoff what you have prepared in a minute or two. Be careful though, if the cat gets there first and scoffs it, you will probably kill it in a fit of rage and then you would have some explaining to do.

- ON THE ROCKS -

YOUR COCKTAIL FOR LIFE In this edition of ‘Your Cocktail For Life’, Jill Chadwick talks to our most respected residents about which ingredients make their life a rewarding experience, while challenging the Duke of Richmond’s own resident mixologist, Orlando, to dream up a fund raising cocktail that reflects their unique character. The cocktail will feature on the Leopard Bar menu for a month and will help raise money for various charities.

In the second of the series we talk to Jo Wyatt, SportingBet’s Community Liason Officer, about the airport, marathons and happy endings.

What key ingredients have guided you through life?

Commitment, honesty and my mum! I am 100% committed to the people I love in my life and always endeavour to do my best by them. I am a very honest person and I expect the same from those around me, though not at the expense of people’s feelings! My mum is the best mum in the world, she is a font of all knowledge, someone who I trust implicity and loves me unconditionally. I strive to be a mum to my boys like she was when I was growing up and I hope that they view me as a trusted friend when they are adults as I do my mum.

My favourite part of the Island?

That is a tricky one, probably Forest more specifically the airport. I love all of the island, the feeling though that you get when you are coming in to land is that wonderful sense of coming home and there is no better feeling than that.

What was the last book you read?

Oh do you know I can’t remember it will have been a romance though. I hate reading anything that doesn’t have a happy ending, life is difficult enough, I like to read a book that makes me smile and hopeful.

I was left speechless in admiration when I met?

Those who know me well will know I am never speechless! However I ran the London Marathon last year and I was full of admiration for all of the runners taking part. Some of their stories of why they had chosen to run were just inspirational.

If I could change one aspect of my role?

Not a thing. I have been very lucky in this role, its been a privilige to invest in the community and I have met some incredibly committed individuals.

Growing up in Guernsey has meant?

We moved back here when I was 16 so I can only really speak about those years since. However for my children it has meant safety and freedom. Two things I hope will never change.

Best advice to pass on?

It’s from my mum which is take 48 hours to think about something before acting!

Bit about me:Jo Wyatt works as Community Liaison Officer for Sportingbet. Sportingbet are sponsoring the Fathers Day Half Marathon for the second year and are looking to encourage first time runners to participate.

Having run three half marathons and

three marathons I know the commitment it takes to get out and run each day, but running is a sport for everyone and I truly believe we all have at least one marathon in us and what better way to test that theory than to attempt your first half. This year we put together a package for 4 lucky competition winners which included a donation to the charity of their choice, two of which are novice runners. We hope this year more first timers will take to the road than ever and what better way to keep the motivation going but by making a commitment to raising funds for charity.

‘However I ran the London marathon last year and I was full of admiration for all of the runners taking part. Some of their stories of why they had chosen to run were just inspirational.’

Jo’s Strawberry Sporting Bet Surprise cocktail is now available at the Duke of Richmond Leopard Bar. If you order Jo’s cocktail, proceeds will be donated to local charities.

Orlando Abreu is the Bar Manager at the Leopard Bar and an experienced mixologist.

He says he was delighted to take up the challenge of creating a fresh fruity, yet sophisticated cocktail based on Jo’s individual tastes.

Orlando says

Orlando says: “I was told that Jo loves sweet and fruity cocktails – but didn’t mind if they packed a punch. I used aged Havana Rum for the base and added fresh strawberries, Triple Sec all liquidised and poured over crushed ice. It is a strawberry daiquiri style cocktail – with a twist, and I was happy that Jo was so delighted with our Leopard Bar cocktail creation.

She has called it the Strawberry Sporting Bet Surprise and we are placing it on our monthly cocktail special list and if customers order this, proceeds will go to the Guernsey Cheshire Home as part of the hotel’s ongoing support of the charity.

MY FANTASY DINNER PARTY

The business philosophy of Derek Coates mirrors that of his fantasy dinner party guests...

Think differently.

‘Steve also grew up in the baby boom. He broke the rules.

He went on the hippy trail, experimented with his lifestyle and smoked dope, like we all did in the sixties. Not the same as the genetically modified ‘skunk’ varieties, that are destroying today’s kids. More like a good glass of Bordeaux than today’s rat poison.’

I

am a child of the sixties; I grew up in the time of Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, and Flower Power. It was a time when we believed that we were the chosen ones, the writers of new rules. We were challenging the establishment and the status quo. You could rightly glaze over at my ‘those were the days’ sentiments. But I believe they were a turning point in many ways. Until then we were surrounded by a world of stiff upper lips and conformity.

So here’s my dinner party list and I’ll tell you why.

There will be only six of us because in my opinion more than that and you don’t get to know each other properly or have time to really talk, other than in boring banal platitudes.

I have to confess I’m an Apple man not a PC man. (that includes not being Politically Correct) When Steve Jobs and Lee Clow, the creative director of their ad agency created the ‘Think differently’ campaign between them for the launch of the Macintosh back in 1977, it summed up a philosophy that I wish I had written. If only I was half as smart as those guys. You’ve probably heard part of it, but here is the whole sixty second script: “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them or vilify them. But the only thing you cannot do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward.

And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy

enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

Steve also grew up in the baby boom. He broke the rules. He went on the hippy trail, experimented with his lifestyle and smoked dope, like we all did in the sixties. Not the same as the genetically modified ‘skunk’ varieties, that are destroying today’s kids. More like a good glass of Bordeaux than today’s rat poison. Steve mixed art and science and has changed the way we think about music, photography and an integrated digital world. He was a difficult person because he believed so passionately in his concepts and fought for them. So Steve is invited.

Because the rules of the game are that I can invite anyone living or deceased, Jesus would get a warm welcome as guest number two. I’d love to hear his views on how he had been misinterpreted in the scriptures that were written so long after his death. Anyone who believes in a deity and is a creationist must believe he is also a child of God. That doesn’t mean that Jesus actually said he was His son in any biological sense. But those who interpret the writings in this way must then believe that Mary was a Virgin or the whole concept falls apart. I think that Jesus did exist and was a great philosopher and probably a political activist, rebelling against the Sadducees and Pharisees, who eventually conspired to put him to death. He did however change the world by breaking the rules. So he would definitely be there for dinner.

By way of spiritual contrast, I wouldn’t invite the Pope and the other cardinals and senior members of the church. If they knocked on the door, I would

‘Now Tim Berners-Lee is guest number four because he invented the World Wide Web ‘www’ in 1989. He described it humbly as simply a step of generalising - going to a higher level of abstraction.’

send them off to a silly hats fancy dress party down the road. The church seems totally unable to react to change and the nature of their closeted lives sometimes has dire consequences as we have seen only too often.

Very difficult to choose between Archimedes a man of unbelievable ability as a mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and astronomer or Da Vinci who had an unquenchable curiosity and a feverishly inventive imagination, theorizing the pre-existence of a helicopter and tank as well as producing iconic paintings such as the Mona Lisa and other works of outstanding genius. Or Picasso who like Steve Jobs sought to reduce complexity and escape authenticity as he de-structured reality with cubism taking apart objects and analysing them in terms of their shapes. He broke the rules.

Each of these extraordinary people was obsessed with creativity and has in their own ways changed the world, but we probably could all carry on living much as we do without them. And I’m not sure we could find enough common ground for conversation over just one dinner.

Having said all that, Da Vinci is going to be my guest number three, because given a couple of years to catch up with today’s technology, I’m sure he would have helped Steve to find the much needed successor to the iPad. Now Tim Berners-Lee is guest number four because he invented the World Wide Web ‘www’ in 1989. He described it humbly as simply a step of generalising - going to a higher level of abstraction. Most of the technology involved in the web, like the hypertext, the internet and

multifont text objects had all been designed already. But he put them all together. Wow! And he ran it on a neXT computer invented

by Steve Jobs. They deserve dinner together.

If only for Tim to discuss the ramifications of what he started and Steve to give him a huge hug! And Berners-Lee made his ideas available freely, with no patent and no royalties due to him. If ever a man deserves riches Tim does. He broke the rules.

The fifth guest for me is of course Richard Branson. He has broken every rule in the book and took risks that are unimaginable.

Anyone who starts an airline with one airplane going head to head with BA transatlantic is clearly nuts. But he did it with panache going from humble beginnings editing a student magazine through Virgin records to today’s web of interests and no sign of stopping. He has to sit next to me with Steve on the other side.

Of course I make up number six because there can only be six people present and I wouldn’t miss this dinner party for the world.

Now, if this article has offended you in any way please remember that the rule is - there are no rules - no box to think out of. The worst crime you can commit is to be boring at my dinner party. Challenge the status quo and change the world even if it’s only a little bit.

But please think differently!!

A NOD TO THE VALLEY The Fermain Valley has an intriguing new chef, rejuvenated interior and simplified menu - but when Jon Taylor went for lunch he got a bad case of the nods.

Christopher Archambault (image by Evoke) www.christopherarchambault.com

W

hen I go out to eat I don’t have a preference for fine dining or a casual meal. It all depends on the occasion and the company. Sometimes I’m happiest with my dog as companion, a slab of lemon drizzle cake and a mug of tea at Rousse beach kiosk.

What’s important is that I feel comfortable in the place where I’m dining. The ambience should be relaxed and it should feel welcoming. If you’ve been out all day you need to feel at home in the restaurant, to feel that you can relax and won’t have to face any more stresses of the day. I don’t care about décor or whether the interior is classic or modern as long as the restaurant is warm, attractive and clean. I hate it when waiters spend all evening at the table trying to talk to you. Service should be precise and staff should be aware of their guests’ needs before the guests are, but the guests shouldn’t notice them. A good waiter should be able to tell whether a customer wants to talk or not and should respond accordingly. It also goes without saying that, wherever you go, the cuisine should be excellent and preferably good value for money.

My hackles are raised if a menu’s description is more about crowd-pleasing display than content. ‘Drizzled gently over’ in my view is something they splash on a dish without personality but charge you extra for the privilege. When there’s a rogue term used such as ‘truffle of’ or ‘caviar of’, it’s in such a small amount that its purpose would appear to simply make a bland dish sound interesting. Our dining habits and culinary experiences are now so advanced and broad that we can see through the piffle of lavish menu descriptions. We simply want great food, well served and affordably priced.

And now I’ve been so vulgar as to bring up money, I am struck by the incredible value of the food I’ve been served at the Fermain Valley’s new brasserie. New in the sense it’s been re-furbished and the menu rejuvenated under the discerning eye of new chef come food photographer and writer, Christopher Archambault. If there’s any part of you that gets excited about food then Christopher will certainly float your boat.

Christopher has a down to earth philosophy when it comes to food; he describes his style as ‘simple with a personal touch; primary colours, clean plates and everything for a reason, everything in season.’ “I’m quite a simple chef in that I don’t go in for fancy food. I like to put a little twist on things and use the natural environment around me. Like I said, down to earth, but this is one chef who hasn’t failed to explore it.

After a period traveling the culinary world via Canada, London and Ireland.

Christopher found his calling in the South West where he became a familiar and extremely popular chef in the region.

A regular food writer, photographer and demonstrator, Christopher was head chef at the Southernhay House Hotel,

“If someone doesn’t like being offered a realistic amount of options per course for the size of the restaurant...send em down the Chinese takeway where they can order a number 89”

a stunning boutique hotel in Exeter, Devon. He was known throughout the South West as a strong supporter of West Country produce, suppliers and foraging.

“Foraging is a subtle ingredient in my cooking. The great thing about Guernsey is that I simply walk up and down Fermain Valley to find natural ingredients. In the UK I would be driving from one foraging area to another across miles of roads. Here it’s on my doorstep.” Chris uses his foraging skills to create salads and complements to many of his dishes. “Wild food is the ultimate in ‘local’ and ‘seasonal’ produce, and historically has always been a source of food for the island’s community. Foraging re-awakens your senses so you gain a greater appreciation of land, and your place in the natural cycles and rhythms of life,” said Christopher.

Christopher can identify wild edible plants, as well as appreciating how they will work in a dish. He’s familiar with their nutritional values, their folklore, mystery and history. As conversation turns to the types of plants he’s encountered Christopher explains how one of his favourites, hedgerow garlic, grows in woodland.

‘Hedgerow Garlic garlic is identifiable by its garlic-like smell and long lush leaves.

It grows from late winter and throughout spring. Towards the end of the season it bursts into bloom with white flowers.

The Fermain Valley’s new chef is keen to meet local producers who share his passion for natural ingredients. Judging by the investment made at the Fermain

Valley it won’t be long before Christopher’s wish comes true. The restyled interior is a calming backdrop to the dramatic view that greets you beyond the Restaurant’s French doors. The colour tones have been introduced by Maison, a local interior design company, and the new look is serenity personified. A chic environment that is a welcome respite from the over indulgence you find in some four star establishments.

Returning to my dining preferences, I can best describe the Fermain Valley brasserie as a retreat to simpler pleasures.

For locals, the location itself is enough to conjure images of hazy days whiling away the morning with a long walk and followed by an even longer lunch. The lunch menu is in keeping with Christopher’s philosophy for simplicity. The thrills are reserved for the presentation and flavours. Avoiding the cliché’s associated with finer dining, the menu is eclectic enough to intrigue but familiar enough to reassure your taste buds. Christopher’s opinion is that the smaller the menu, the more attention to detail, the fresher the ingredients. “This is generally a rule of thumb. The trick is to still offer a good selection that will cater to most tastes. If someone doesn’t like being offered a realistic amount of options per course for the size of the restaurant...send ‘em down the Chinese takeway where they can order a number 89,” said Christopher.

There are six starters each offering enough temptation to make the decision

WestQuay

IKEA

Hampshire Farmers Market

WestQuay

IKEA

‘I’m preoccupied by how the dish is created. The crab appears to cling to the linguini, which has bite and a comforting, starchy, slipperiness. The chili provides a dart of danger amongst a muted colour palette.’ making process a challenge. After a great deal of deliberation my dining partners settles on the roast beef sirloin salad, artichokes & Parmesan starter while I play it safe with a Coronation chicken salad. The gently spiced chicken is complemented by seasonal salad and a crack of black pepper. The starters were technically complex but unpretentious, my companion commented with a sigh and nod, which Christopher acknowledges as his barometer for success. “If one diner nods to another while taking a first mouthful, you know you’ve succeeded. That acknowledgment of approval expressed with a nod and a gentle moan.’

By the time our mains arrive I’m fully immersed in the surroundings. I begin to feel utterly at home, our waitress provides a thorough but ‘plain English’ explanation of our mains and it takes me several moments to tuck in. I’m occupied by how the dish is created.

The crab appears to cling to the linguini, which has bite and a comforting, starchy, slipperiness.

The chili provides a dart of danger amongst a muted palette. Enough with the waffle, I dive into what looks like a small portion but transpires to be the perfect amount of main course. Utterly satisfied, my companion is still absorbed in her Pork Ragu and is nodding like a Churchill Insurance toy-nodding dog on a car parcel shelf. A rather delightful menu and eating experience but here’s the twist. My wallet is telling me this is going to leave you with little change from £60. My eyes though are focused on what can only be a typo. The menu states two course £10.00 three course £15.00. I ask the waitress for confirmation on the amount, and as if I’m the 100th person who has asked this week, rolls her eyes and smiles in acknowledgement. ‘Yes sir, it is correct. Do you approve?”

The lunch menu (sample) 2 courses £10 3 courses £15

To start

Soup of the Day Chicken Terrine & Celery Pickle Insalata Caprese- Plum Tomato, Mozzarella & Basil Classic Prawn Cocktail Hampshire Farmers Market Smoked Haddock Fishcake, Poached Egg & Chive Butter Sauce

Mains

Omelette Arnold Bennett, Chicory & Confit Fennel Salad Salmon Fillet, Green Beans, Crushed Potatoes and Artichokes 6oz Rump Steak, Oven Dried Tomato, Parsley Garlic Sauce & Chips Linguini, Guernsey Crab, Chilli, Garlic & Coriander Polenta ‘Tart’, Artichokes, Tomato, Soy Beans & Parmesan Seared Calves Liver, Bacon, Herb Mash & Cabbage

Puddings

Peach Melba White & Dark Chocolate Tart, Passion Fruit Sorbet Cardamom Pannacotta, Strawberry Coulis Ice Creams & Sorbets Potted Cheddar & Celery Pickle

Download menus at www.fermainvalley.com Tel: 235666 to make a reservation.

T

ravelling anywhere – be it to the Far East or around M25 is now a much easier option – especially if you take advantage of the many travel friendly Apps now out there.

There are Apps to tell you what resorts are user friendly for children – and pets – and Apps for the romantic, the keep fit fantatics and for those who want to go to far flung corners of the world as yet undiscovered by mainstream tourists.

But closer to home our App-a-holic Mike Allisette has been trawling through a few of his favourites to see what is on offer.

“There are literally thousands of travel related apps available for the iPhone as a quick trail through the Apps store will confirm. I have a huge collection of them – but here are some of my favourites are:

Co-Pilot

Normally when we go abroad we borrow a sat-nav from a friend. However, he was using it himself the last time we went to Europe so I needed to find something quickly. Co Pilot was the answer. Brilliant little app that was unbelievably accurate and at the time cost around £49. Much cheaper than your average navigation system.

XE Currency

This easy-to-use currency calculator has received over 14 million downloads. It was an app of the week in iTunes, and has been featured by the BBC, the LA Times, CNN, and The Travel Channel!

National Trust

You can browse or search over 400 National Trust properties and get info re opening times, events etc.

Trip Advisor

There is an app for hotels, flights and restaurants and another for offline city guides. Trip advisor has rapidly become the number one destination for people wanting to get reviews from people who have actually been there.

Tube Map

Amazing little app full of features to help navigate your way around London.

There are a number of translating apps available which can be very useful especially as my kids always pull my leg about speaking English with a foreign accent when we go abroad. Google Translate is one of the most popular ones.

Trivago

A very useful search tool for looking for accommodation. It scans and searches all the available sites to get the best hotel deal for wherever you want to stay.

GoogleTranslate

Phrase books are so last century.

Google Translate means you’ll never struggle to find the words you’re looking for. What sets it apart is the ability to translate from speech, and to read the translation back to you: perfect for hotel room practice.

TourWrist

One for social media over-sharers, TourWrist makes it possible to create a 360-degree panorama of your travels: whether that’s the view from the top of the Empire State Building in New York or simply your hotel room. You can browse other people’s tours, too, for wanderlust inspiration.

Urbanspoon

Finding a restaurant in a new city can be tough, which is where Urbanspoon comes in. Let the app choose a restaurant for you by selecting a neighbourhood, a cuisine, and a price range, or just shake your iPad for a randomly generated option.

Lonely Planet

Lonely Planet has a lot of guides and phrasebook apps available in Apple’s App Store. And just as you likely have more than one Lonely Planet book on your bookshelf, it’s very possible that you’re going to buy more than one Lonely Planet guide.

Confessions of an

APP-A-HOLIC

APPS are not exactly taking over the world, but you can pretty much find one to cover all aspects of your life. They put a wealth of knowledge, expertise– and fun- at your fingertips – and many are free. Mike Allisette from the Small IT Company reports for The Rock.

24HOUR PARTY

PEOPLE

If your weekends are spinning from one social circle to another then it’s time to get off the rock. For those of you looking for a compact weekend city break then we have the answer. If time isn’t on your side but you still want to immerse yourself in a city break this weekend then Blue Islands is the place to start.

Four city destinations and four things to...

DO

PLAY

STAY

EAT

You can fit so much into a day in the city and we’ve selected a host of things to do all conveniently located so you’re maximising your time and not wasting your weekend stuck in transit.

Clockwise from top left: Ultra sophisticated rooms at the Radisson New Providence Wharf hotel. Reception at the Radisson. Michael Buble plays the O2.

Portobello Road market. Goode & Wright bistro.

STAY: A stone’s throw from London City airport, O2 Arena, Canary Wharf and great transport links to the capital and great transport links to central London. All visitors to the luxurious, 4 star, Radisson Edwardian New Providence Wharf, London will be impressed by the spacious, bright and individually designed guest rooms.

Each room features wireless internet access, iPod docking station, satellite TV, air-conditioning and mini-bar for maximum comfort and convenience.

The Radisson Edwardian New Providence Wharf, London is also home to a modern, relaxing health club which offers a sauna, steam room, well equipped gym and indulgent, expert beauty treatments.

PLAY:

DO:

O2 Arena have a fantastic menu in 2013. Barbra Streisand, Rod Stewart, Kings of Leon, Pet Shop Boys, The Who, Neil Young, Alicia Keys, Depeche Mode, Michael Buble and Maroon 5 are all appearing in the coming months. Tickets from £30.00.

Portobello Road Market. More than 2,000 specialist antique dealers are squeezed tightly into any available space, while avid enthusiasts bargain-hunt, camera-laden tourists look for that blue door (from the film ‘Notting Hill’) and jazz quartets all help to create a pleasing intimacy.

Push on past the meagre pickings after Elgin Crescent and explore the fashion market under the Westway flyover. Best visited on a less-frantic Friday morning, it’s here you’ll find fashionistas and frighteningly trendy teens delving through troves of prized vintage, boutique fashion and retro memorabilia.

EAT: Goode & Wright is an English restaurant with a French accent, or perhaps a French restaurant in a bowler hat. Whichever it is, Notting Hill’s Goode & Wright is all about bringing together the best from both sides of the Channel.

LONDON: Fly to London City with Blue Islands then it’s a short journey to Radisson followed by a morning at Portobello Road market, lunch at the Goode & Wright bistro, quick tube back for an afternoon of pampering in the hotel’s spa in time for an evening with Buble at the O2.

BLUE ISLANDS

BOOK NOW From

£63

Direct flights 3 flights a day 66 minutes to Waterloo

You can fit so much into a day in the city and we’ve selected a host of things to do all conveniently located so you’re maximising your time and not wasting your weekend stuck in transit.

AMSTERDAM: Fly to Schipol with Blue Islands then its a short journey to the Movenpick, followed by a morning at Anne Frank Huis, lunch at De Kas, quick taxi to the shopping district then night clubbing at Club Up followed by a taxi back to the hotel. 24 hrs sorted in Amsterdam

BLUE ISLANDS

BOOK NOW From

£99

Direct flights from Jersey with great connections from Guernsey.

Clockwise from top : De Kas restaurant.

Anne Frank Huis entrance. Club Up, Amsterdam.

EAT: De Kas Amsterdam, is a repurposed greenhouse that takes the concept of locally-sourced ingredients to another level.

Originally part of the city’s municipal nursery which dates back to 1926, this 8 metre high structure, complete with towering chimney, was in a sorry state until Michelin-starred chef Gert Jan Hageman took on the restoration project and transformed the dilapidated greenhouse. Located in Frankendael Park, the restaurant menu utilises its sizeable herb garden and nursery, where guests can also dine if the weather’s right.

PLAY:

DO:

Club Up is tucked away from the leery crowds prowling around nearby Leidseplein, this clandestine club can be spotted only by the long queues outside its discreet and narrow twostorey building. An intimate space with a great sound system. clubup.nl

Prinsengracht 263 was the canalside house where the young Jewish girl Anne Frank and her family hid for two years during the Second World War. A bookcase marks the entrance to the unfurnished rooms of the annexe in which they lived, sustained by the efforts of friends. In the new wing, there’s a good exhibition about the persecution of the Jews during the War, and displays charting racism, neo-Fascism and anti-Semitism. To avoid long queues, arrive early in the morning, or after 7pm during the summer, or book a queue-jump ticket on the website.

STAY: The Movenpick Hotel offers guests fantastic views across Amsterdam centre and the river. The hotel is only a short walk from the centre of the city as well as being close to many attractions and historical monuments.

You can fit so much into a day in the city and we’ve selected a host of things to do all conveniently located so you’re maximising your time and not wasting your weekend stuck in transit.

Left and above left: Frenchie Above: Galerie Vivienne

EAT: Frenchie, with its brick walls and wood beams, is a modest place; the food’s the star. Chef Gregory Marchand’s short menu is innovative, seasonal, and occasionally irreverent (and at about £30 for three courses, it’s a steal). It’s also restlessly international: You’re as likely to find a Greek-inspired watermelon salad with salted ricotta or home-made pastrami with pickled carrots as a classic French chocolate tart. Book a table the minute you even think about going to Paris. Or opt for a glass of Jura and a plate of smoked trout with avocado at the equally popular Frenchie Bar a Vins, across the street.

DO: Paris has several covered passages where you can find an assortment of shops. Plus, it just has a neat historical feel to it. At Galerie Vivienne you can stop off to buy a piece of artwork, a new outfit, a cup of coffee or a glass of wine at a great wine bar.

STAY: The BLC Design Hotel is situated in a quiet street 10 minutes walk from the Place de la Bastille and 280m from the closest metro station (Charonne) which links directly to the Eiffel Tower.

With just 29 fully renovated rooms the hotel decor is sleek, stylish and minimalist.

PLAY:

PARIS: Fly to Paris with Blue Islands, stay at the BLC Design hotel right in the heart of the action, visit the Galerie Vivienne for some retail therapy and then lunch out at the uber cool Frenchie gastro pub. And then soak up the nightlife with a trip to the many attractions on your hotel’s doorstep.

Many places mutate from relaxed café-brasserie by day to pulsing DJ bar by night (usually open until 2am).

Among the best are the grungy chic De la Ville Café (34 boulevard BonneNouvelle, 9th; www.delavillecafe. com), with pavement terrace, a splendidly decadent interior recalling its old brothel past and a modern chillout section, hopping-off point for the Rex Club across the boulevard, and Pigalle’s La Fourmi (74 rue des Martyrs, 18th) laidback drinking haunt and pre-club rendezvous for Le Divan du Monde, while La Perle (78 rue Vieille-du-Temple, 3rd), a seemingly ordinary corner café, is the Marais undisputed hipster haunt.

BLUE ISLANDS

BOOK NOW From

£99

Direct flights from Jersey with great connections from Guernsey.

You can fit so much into a day in the city and we’ve selected a host of things to do all conveniently located so you’re maximising your time and not wasting your BRISTOL: weekend stuck in transit.

Fly to Bristol with Blue Islands

then it’s a short taxi to the Grand by Thistle in the city centre. Spend your morning enjoying Park The Street and all the Glassboat shopping Bristol has to offer. lunch at the Glassboat and then get your laughing gear around a cocktail or two at the world renowned Hyde & Co.

BLUE ISLANDS

BOOK NOW From

£74

Direct flights from Jersey with great connections from Guernsey.

Clockwise from top : Bristol shopping.

The Glassboat restaurant. The Grand .

EAT: Located on the floating harbour in the heart of Bristol, Glassboat affords spectacular views of the city: bridges, churches and of course the swans on the water itself.

Glassboat’s unique interior has been carefully restored to make the most of the original polished wooden decks, sculptured oak and portholes – which have been complemented by a recent glass extension offering all-round views of the bucolic water setting.This unbeatable location is matched by the food, overseen by Head Chef Charlie Hurrell, whose menus feature something for all.

PLAY:

DO:

Step into prohibition era at Hyde & Co, the beautiful speakeasy cocktail bar. The entry policy is no free tables, no entry so booking or arriving early is advised. Keep your eyes peeled for the sign with the bowler hat then ring the doorbell and wait for entry.

Once inside expect excellent drinks, table service, low lighting and antique furnishings.

Park Street does not just entice with quirky shops and culinary delights but also with great vistas and a beautiful Georgian setting.

Why not stroll up the hill, admire the architecture, treat yourself to a new pair of shoes on the way up, and enjoy the reward of a nice cup of coffee and spectacular views over the city at the end of it? Park Street is home to a popular selection of independent jewellery and homeware shops, record stores and quirky fashion outlets. Shoppers can find vintage clothing and accessories in stores including Motel, The Boot Room, BS8.

STAY: The Grand by Thistle is a traditional hotel, centrally located in the heart of Bristol and has an air of relaxation.

Built in 1869, the Grand by Thistle is elegant and spacious with Victorian charm.

Guernsey Gas are offering Vaillant ‘A’ energy rated condensing boilers installed from just £27 per month with 5 years Interest Free Credit.† We’ll also give you a Free CombiSave Energy and Water Saving Valve, worth £129, when you buy your boiler.

Call 724 811 or visit The Energy Centre, Admiral Park. www.gsygas.com † Subject to survey and status, conditions apply.

PLUS 5 years warranty

OFF YOUR ROCK NORMANDY ON A BUDGET

on a budget

If you thought a family holiday was out of your budget this summer then think again.

With the help of our friends at Condor we bring you some value for money holiday ideas for those looking for a convenient and inexpensive break for a family of four.

Carteret

D-Day museum

Town of Bayeux

When we travel with kids, we as adults get to experience and glimpse the world through their eyes which has to be one of the best things about family holidays.

Normandy is an exciting holiday destination where WWII comes alive and kids can gain an understanding of a bygone history as they see museums, ruins and much more. Its shores have seen William the Conqueror sail for England, and the arrival of the Vikings but‌ when kids just need to be kids? There are lots of fun things to see and do in Normandy! so if you’ve exhausted Britanny then head north for a fun time with the family.

Le Berlingot, Sortosville en Beaumont - Fantas

Residence Green Beach

Champresus Zoo and Exotic Gardens

: DO Normandy guarantees you and your children

magical holiday memories as you discover some of her fantastic attractions…let’s go!

It’s time for some rock-pooling in the bay of Mont St-Michel, an al fresco picnic for lunch and then an adventurous expedition to the Reptilarium; a farm with an amazing array of reptiles: iguanas, crocodiles, lizards, snakes, tortoises, alligators! Look out and don’t get up too close!

Champresus Zoo and Exotic Gardens - This zoo includes a miniature farm or petting zoo with friendly animals that like a pat, as well as an interactive activities and a game park. You can also see wild and domestic exotic animals at play in native landscapes. If you like zoosthen you are in for a treat as there are two more at Jurques and Cerza with hundreds of wild animals from lions to hippos! Kids do love zoos!

Happy exploring!

Festyland - Vikings, pirates and so much more! Look out- the kids won’t want to leave!

More than 30 attractions from the times of William the Conqueror to present day to keep them busy.

Want a better way to view all the historical sites and museums around Normandy? Take a guided tour as then you’ll be guaranteed to see all of the most important locations, beaches and museums that you probably wouldn’t be able to see all on your own! Another plus: they will provide you with the historical information about what happened in each of these places.

Fantastic!

STAY:

Normandy Barrière

A holiday in Normandy offers families lots of options when it comes to accommodation. If you want total luxury a hotel is probably for you; if on the other hand you want maximum entertainment at minimum cost then a tent or mobile home on a campsite is your best option.

Self-catering is another great way to go (gites in France) with comfortable homes that suit all types of families and budgets.

Normandy Barrière - Located in the lovely seaside town of Deauville with children’s clubs, a pool and a restaurant that especially caters for kids! Adults can eat there too!

Residence Garden Club - is one of the best known resorts on the Normandy coast with elegant villas, great beach and is set in beautifully landscaped gardens. Best of all, this property has a free kids club with qualified activity leaders to make their holiday (and yours) absolutely fantastic!

Residence Green Beach - Built in the Normandy style with slate roofs and wooden shutters, surrounded by landscaped gardens and located near one of the D-Day beaches this is a great family accommodation option. There is also a games area for children.

La Cale Marine, Carteret

: AT EThe food in Normandy is fantastic and among the specialties are seafood, meat and cheese to name but a few! Try these family restaurants that welcome children!

La Cale Marine, Carteret - is the place for moules-frites and home-made desserts in a very relaxed, pub-like ambience. French kids love it and yours will too! Just walk in and take a seat!

Le Berlingot, Sortosville en Beaumont - Fantastic for families with plain good food cooked over an open fire with chips and salad in a casual atmosphere! Perfect!

It is wise to check opening times of sites and museums that you are planning to visit because many have different opening days or hours according to the season. Try hiring a car to visit the beaches on your own and to explore the wonderful rolling countryside, gardens and châteaux throughout Normandy. Normandy is definitely an excellent family holiday choice and for those interested in history the region is full of museums dedicated to Roman History, the Norman Conquest and the Second World War.

TRIBAL GATHERING

G

With gum shields firmly in place, the tribes prepared for battle at the 2013 Junior Siam. The Guernsey Rugby Academy take on the noisy neighbours but can they close the gap on Jersey’s push towards professionalism? Jon Taylor reports.

On April 21st the Channel was full of budding rugby players. Anyone who witnessed a Condor ferry arriving in Jersey from Guernsey would have been impressed with the uniformity and military like purpose of the Guernsey Rugby Academy. They dress in shirt and tie, club jackets and look like an army full of endeavour. They are, for all intent and purpose, a unit dedicated to their sport.

This attitude has been honed in the English county leagues over a number of years and by an academy dutifully run by Charles McHugh and his team of volunteers, administrators, managers and coaches. Guernsey’s academy teams have certainly been a success as a result, punching well above their weight in recent times. Under 13 Hampshire Vase winners, Under 15 Hampshire Shield winners and two Guernsey Under 14 players, Josh Dowington and Alfie Penney, selected for Team Hampshire. Let’s also not forget Local lad Luke Jones’s ongoing progress in the professional game.

My two boys play for the Guernsey Rugby Academy and the dedication they have for their sport is in direct contrast to the average weekday in the Taylor household. The irony – is not lost on me. Getting my lads to look smart in a tie on a school day is a constant battle. Even harder on a cold wet February morning, yet they cannot wait to slip on their academy colours come the weekend away trip.

You should see the way my 13 year old wears his tie on a school day. He’s not known for his sartorial elegance at 7.00am during a weekday, more groaning zombie than Abercrombie.

However, get him out of bed an hour earlier on a Sunday morning for an away trip to Gosport, and he transforms into a Savile Row model.

Rugby is important to him and his brother. Come rain or shine they drag their poor father down to the back of the old St Peter Port school for team

training every Sunday morning from 9.30am and wrestling with Jersey is never far from their minds. Beating the old enemy has become an ache as intense as Liverpool’s search for their next Premier League title or Britain’s arduous wait for a Wimbledon tennis champion. Fortunately, the under 13 squad have succeeded where many other age groups have failed – they have tasted victory over the reds.

This is however, a rare occurrence such is Jersey’s dominance. For example, so strong is the Jersey Academy that its Colts team are the ones to beat in the southern counties. Supplement and diet plans are arranged for Behemoth of boys who destroy all before them. Guernsey proved to be no exception at this year’s Junior Siam as they beat our under 19s 57-0. They also overpowered the Greens in a further seven age groups but drew at Under 12s and were lucky to defeat an excellent under 9 Guernsey team where Sean Murphy and Taylor Rowe excelled for Guernsey, running in try after try.

The under 13s were very unfortunate to lose to Jersey. Refereeing decisions went against them but in Will Mason, Leon Collenette and John Le Noury the team have three Guernsey rugby stars for the future. Will Mason in particular caused Jersey problems all afternoon with his speed of foot and thought, running in three tries, but it was all in vain as the Jersey side ran out 34-26 winners. Leon Collenette demonstrates maturity beyond his years and kicked his penalties with precision. The team as a unit are very good and will build on this experience to be a stronger opponent in 2014; confident they will retain their advantage over Jersey next year.

Despite the losses the gap is closing.

Guernsey caused the Jersey sides a number of problems and in both the under 14 and 15 games, Guernsey gave as good as they got in steely determination that clearly rattled the talented Jersey sides. The reds saw mist a number of times, losing discipline and resorting to handbags on numerous

Beating the old enemy has become an ache as intense as Liverpool’s search for their next Premier league title or Britain’s arduous wait for a Wimbledon tennis champion.

occasions. Guernsey continued unphased and battled on to the bitter end.

Amongst all the heartache there is also hope at grass roots. Guernsey’s tag rugby under 7s came away with victory, winning 14 games to Jersey’s 10.

The tribe of 500 players, coaches and fans who set sail for Jersey’s shores, on a cool spring day last April, will be warmed by the efforts displayed by the Guernsey Rugby Academy team.

I just hope that the ‘green army’ mocking and general arrogance of some of our counterparts comes back to haunt them when the natives gather again in Guernsey for the 2014 Junior Siam.

The RBS International Guernsey Rugby Academy The Guernsey Rugby Academy was formed in 1996. However, children have been playing rugby on the island since

1974 when the Mini section was formed with just nine players. The Guernsey Rugby Academy now boasts some 300 players spread over 12 squads from aged 7 to 18. The Academy is affiliated to Hampshire RFU and follows the RFU Continuum and training guidelines.

An elected committee helps steer the Academy and each squad is overseen by a qualified lead coach, a number of assistant coaches and a manager. In total there are over 40 volunteers who help at the Academy each week during the season.

The Academy recognise they are very fortunate to have so many committed and enthusiastic volunteers. This gives them an impetus that means that the Academy is poised to face the challenges ahead. In Guernsey, we face a particular challenge that will always be a barrier to our players reaching their full potential. To succeed in

any sport, you need to compete. As the only Rugby Academy on the island, they have no competition locally. To compete, players need to travel, to either the UK or France. The Guernsey Academy aims to make rugby an enjoyable learning experience for all its players.

The history lesson

The Siam Cup is the second oldest rugby trophy in the world (2nd to the Calcutta cup) and its existence is steeped with an interesting and chequered history.

It is the annual challenge trophy played between Jersey Rugby Football Club and Guernsey Rugby Football Club at the end of the season and the venue alternates between the islands.

It was during the German occupation of the islands that the cup was at its greatest risk, because the Germans wanted it to be sent to their homeland to be melted down

and used as funds to support the Third Reich.

Strangely enough the cup ‘disappeared’ and was not rediscovered until after the end of the occupation. To this day, there is no record of the whereabouts of the cup during this period.

The Siam Cup is a large circular rose-bowl made from Siamese (Thai) silver. It is beautifully decorated in traditional Siamese style, with figures of dancing girls and elephant heads. It stands on an ebony base and is engraved with the cup winner’s names, dating as far back as 1920.

Results to date are 55 wins for Jersey, 15 wins for Guernsey and one draw and Jersey are the current holders (as of 2012). It is always a fiercely contested match, and the formbook can be thrown out of the window for this game.

It is a raw local derby rugby, passionately played with no quarter given and can at times be very difficult to referee, which is why an independent, highly qualified official is flown in from the UK to officiate. Prior to the league system, the referee was appointed by Twickenham and was usually someone from the international panel - names like Johnny Johnson (England) and Jean-Claude Yche (France) were two of the many that have taken charge.

The Cup was brought to the Channel Islands by a Lieut-Colonel C H Forty, an officer based in Siam with the Durham Light Infantry. A fellow officer in his regiment was the son of the King of Siam. He was befriended by Forty and his fellow officers, and on eventually becoming King he instructed that the Cup be made from Ticals (silver Siamese dollars) by the royal silversmiths. He presented the cup to Forty and his fellow officers as a token of their friendship.

Forty donated the cup to the islands to be played for annually between Victoria College in Jersey and Elizabeth College in Guernsey.

When rugby was no longer played by the two colleges it was decided that the cup should be contested between the two island rugby clubs each season, thus began the annual ‘battle’ for the Siam Cup. The original cup is now displayed in the museum at Rugby HQ in Twickenham and a replica that was made by renowned Guernsey jeweller, Bruce Russell, is the one used and kept in the trophy cabinet of the successful island.

PAPER TRAIL

The 2008 UK Climate Change Act, which set a UK target of 80 per cent reduction in greenhouse gas emissions from 1990 levels by the year 2050, has forced businesses to focus on initiatives that will help reduce their carbon footprint. At The Rock, we’re receiving a helping hand from Premier Papers.

“Capturing CO2 through the Woodland Carbon scheme offers a unique opportunity for us to invest in UK-based carbon projects and in particular, it delivers tangible and visible results which can be visited and enjoyed by our customers, staff and the general public, right across the country.”

In October last year, as a corporate partner of the Woodland Trust, The Premier Paper Group (www.paper.co.uk) signed up to the UK Woodland Carbon Code. This programme sets a new standard for carbon capture, removing it from the atmosphere through the creation of native woodland across the country. Using guidelines and figures from The Carbon Trust and DEFRA, Premier has calculated the amount of CO2 the business emits per tonne of paper sold. Working with the Woodland Trust and its Woodland Carbon scheme will enable Premier to capture the CO2 from their paper ranges including the very stuff you’ve got your hands on now.

Premier Group Marketing Director David Jones said, “Capturing CO2 through the Woodland Carbon scheme offers a unique opportunity for us to invest in UK-based carbon projects and in particular, it delivers tangible and visible results which can be

visited and enjoyed by our customers, staff and the general public, right across the country.”

The Rock’s paper is produced at International Paper’s Saillat mill in France, which is one of the world’s best performing sites in terms of CO2 emissions. Since 1990, Saillat has reduced its greenhouse gas emissions by 78%.

The Saillat mill uses thinning from certified forests or those that are in the process of becoming certified, with its main forestry supplies located within just 128km of the mill, reducing any transport related environmental impacts such as CO2 emissions.

Saillat also recovers by-products from the furniture and framing industries which represents 27% of its wood supply. In terms of energy efficiencies and performance, some 88% of Saillat’s energy requirements are met by the on-site production of green

energy (biomass).

The Carbon Capture initiative allows International Paper’s customers to effectively “capture” the CO2 emissions from their Pro-Design paper purchases made through Premier Paper by planting native woodland in the UK, through The Woodland Trust and The Woodland Carbon Scheme.

Customers who order papers from the range can choose to capture the carbon used in the manufacture and distribution processes of the paper. The amount of CO2 that has been generated is then calculated.

A certificate and a copy of the Woodland Carbon logo will then be issued, which customers can use on all print jobs.

For more information contact Mike Robertson, International Paper’s UK and Ireland country manager at mike.robertson@ipaper.com

ARTSROCK Are you uplifted by the talents of the gifted?

THE PROFESSIONAL DILETTANTE Mr Steven Roberts

It started as a dare between mates.

We were at the Guernsey Comedy week one year and we said we can do that, we think we’re funny, and so the gauntlet was thrown down – next year, Open Mic, you and me, we’ll do it!

Never mind that our only experiences akin to stand-up consisted of wedding speeches 20+ years ago, the odd witty one-liner and the ability to Rock’s crack each other up in the pub after a The new resident few pints. poet Stephen start- it was a What could goRoberts wrong? Besides ed writing song lyrics in the wouldn’t be year away wasn’t it? Maybe there a comedy week next year and we would get late seventies/early eighties away with it, the dare conveniently and quietly for bands in. except for shelved likehe all played the otherbass mad ideas, Here he talks about why he the parascending in Turkey.

So,a stand-up comedy, being a stand-up is Jack of all trades litercomedian. What does it entail? Can I find ary….and master of none anything funny to say, if so, what’s my message? Do I need a message? What style of comedy shall I do, one-liners, stories, topical satire, observational humour? What do I do if I get heckled?

And why bother – I mean, everyone wants to be a comedian these days, like the guy in the lift at Gatwick who states in a loud ‘listen to me I could be a stand-up voice,’ as if he is on stage live at the Apollo: “isn’t it funny how no-one talks in lifts?”. Do I answer and prove him wrong? Or leave him basking smugly in the glow of his comedic mind-game?

Am I going to end up being like that guy in the lift?

Eleven and a half months later and the Comedy Week hasn’t gone away, so I decided I’d better get down to work. I study my comedy idol Stewart Lee, buy Jack Dee’s book and comb it for clues – and find surprisingly few, though there is a good bit on what not to do when being heckled.

I practise running around like Michael McIntyre and speaking like Kevin Bridges – I’ve

The professional dilettante

convinced myself that comedy somehow sounds better with his accent, brullyant in fact.

I desperately try to remember what we found amusing in the pub each night, so funny that it was forgotten by the time I got home. Why didn’t I write it down?

Then the dare changed. Due to other commitments, I became the only player. Dare I dare myself to continue with the dare?

Then the ego kicked in. I will do it! I will prove that I have the cojones to get up there, besides, it’s the only way I can get anyone to listen to my warped world view for at least 10 minutes, without being interrupted!

On the night it’s tense as the wannabe comics assemble at the Rocquettes to sort out the running order. It’s all very civilised, and Andy Fothergill elects to go first as he says “I really should go first, being one of the organisers” no-one’s arguing with that. The other immutable of the Guernsey comedy Open Mic night is that popular local stand-up “Johnny G” is on last, he is always the headline act.

By sheer fluke I get a slot just after the break, which is great because the audience have drunk enough, and I haven’t drunk too much. I can’t see anyone in the glare of the spotlights, but it’s like an out of body experience. There’s a man on the stage with a need for recognition of some sort and he is exorcising his mid-life crisis and, what’s more, he’s making people laugh.

It’s me. What a buzz! Brullyant! Who Dares, Wins!

Animals are everywhere in poetry. Coleridge got excited about an albatross and Keats penned an Ode to a Nightingale. The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a peagreen boat, bought a ring from a Pig and were married by a Turkey.

Animals and their traits are often used in poetic metaphors for human behaviour, both good and bad.

Poems about pets are also popular, as well as verse that marvels at the fierce and untamed nature of real or mythical wild beasts.

Some well-known phrases have come from animal-related poetry; Robbie Burns came up with “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men” in his poem To A Mouse and William Blake brought us his “Tyger! Tyger! burning bright” with its “fearful symmetry”. Here are two poems featuring popular Guernsey animals, and another built around an excruciating pun about a horse.

The Donkey by G. K. Chesterton When fishes flew and forests walked And figs grew upon thorn, Some moment when the moon was blood Then surely I was born.

With monstrous head and sickening cry And ears like errant wings, The devil’s walking parody On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth, Of ancient crooked will; Starve, scourge, deride me, I am dumb I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour; One far fierce hour and sweet: There was a shout about my ears, And palms before my feet.

Ormer Trauma S. A. Roberts Low tide atrocity:

Wading, hunting Turning the rocks.

Lifting the roof, Shell heart beating In its watery home.

The tide slowly turns Low tide anxiety: Wrenching, pulling Under the rocks.

Lifting’s no use, Flesh heart beating In its watery grave.

Big Horse by S. A. Roberts

I made enquiries and rented a field for 30 quid a week though it could have been more I did not like to ask them to repeat themselves; I sometimes feel that I annoy people doing that on the telephone. the paddock was a sweet enclosure and birds were chirping in the hedgerows and gnarled hawthorn that bordered it though my hearing not being what it was I could only guess that they could be chaffinches, or maybe reed bunting this far south. soon into this setting I brought a large mare 16 hands I think they said, tall for female dobbin surprise now ready I called you and you arrived with hatred and separation papers; “I thought you wanted a big horse” I said

THE

CAREERIST

In this second episode of The Careerist, Lynda Sims explains how to get your career back on track after redundancy

Lynda Sims Managing Director Placing People 1st Recruitment

R

‘Stay in the office mentality by ensuring you are at your home computer looking for work at 9am every morning. Then set yourself tasks for later in the day.’ ‘

ecent figures show that the number of unemployed in Britain has now hit 2.4 million, its highest level since 1995. Figures remain relatively stable in Guernsey but how many of those people who are made redundant or ‘consolidated’ (as redundancies are sometimes referred) actually sign on?

The real total in Guernsey could be a lot higher, as not everyone who is out of work is claiming benefits and may therefore not be included in the statistics. But regardless of which measure you use, there is no doubt that more people are experiencing – many for the first time – what it is like to be out of work.

Whether you are 21 or 51, being made redundant can be a life-changing experience. Where do you start with reorganising your life? How much money are you going to have to live off? What practical steps can you take to escape the daytime TV trap?

Quite possibly fuelled by a hangover, the first day after having been made redundant is, for most people, a surreal experience. “At the beginning you don’t feel like it is really happening,” says Colin, a fund administrator who recently lost his job. “You still feel in work mode and get up at 7am.”

David, 38, who was made redundant from his job in IT, agrees. “You feel numb in the first few days,” he says. “You might want to do something unrelated to job hunting for the first day and take a step back.”

If you were made redundant as part of a group, it might help to start by contacting your ex-colleagues for moral support and to discuss your back-to-work strategy.

Two priorities, if you can face them this early, are contacting the recruitment agencies and digging out your CV. Once the initial shock of redundancy has worn off, you need to remain mo-

tivated in the days ahead. “It’s easy to start lying in until 10am,” says Colin. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should become so involved in your job hunt that you lose touch with friends and former colleagues. Even if you can only manage a low-budget get-together, you need to avoid becoming a hermit.

“I started job-hunting straight away after being made redundant,” says Claire, 32, a banking professional. “But I had some nights out with my colleagues who were also affected, which was good as we were able to talk through what we were experiencing together.”

The first week is the time to start your job hunt in earnest. Contact recruitment agencies, register with online job websites and start scouring the local paper and specialist trade press for opportunities.

Recruitment agencies can also give you advice on how to improve your CV and many will ask you in for an interview, which is good experience.

The first week after redundancy might well have passed in a bit of a blur. It is the weeks after which will probably be the hardest. The toughest thing is having no purpose and it will be really hard to stay positive. I would suggest getting back into a routine. Stay in the office mentality by ensuring you are at your home computer looking for work at 9am every morning.

Then set yourself tasks for later in the day.

You might find yourself getting your first interviews in this period, so be prepared.

If you work hard and secure an interview, don’t waste it.

I find that while almost everybody looks at a potential employer’s website to research the organisation, only 4% make full use of all sources including annual reports and industry contacts. Interviewers tend to quickly dismiss people who have failed to do their research adequately. As one employer put it to me recently: “Interview-

ees rarely demonstrate that they have spent much time finding out about the firm. With so much available on the internet, frankly when they say they haven’t had a look, I know at this point they will not be suitable.”

If you haven’t had your first interview, it is a bit early to give up on jobs in your sector if that’s where you still want to be – but this period is an opportunity to think about other career avenues. Look at this as a new opportunity, perhaps go into something new utilising your experiences to date, but be open-minded. You may have to take a salary decrease to ensure you continue working.

This is an ideal time to think about volunteering, especially if you do want to change your role. Charities are not just after grassroots volunteers, but are increasingly flexible about tailoring positions to professionals who can offer their expertise for free. Even if you want to stay within your sector, volunteering will demonstrate to employers that you have used your newfound free time constructively, as well as giving you an insight into how different companies work.

Finally, while you are out of work it is important to remain in touch with the sector you want to work in. Keep up via relevant news feeds and events.

Returning to work after time out to care for your family can be daunting, but it can also be hugely rewarding. It can take some time, so don’t be disappointed if you don’t find a job immediately. The most important thing is to be positive, keep up your networking and build your confidence. Show willing and be clear about your skillset so that you are front of mind when job opportunities arise.

BURSTING THE REDUNDANCY BUBBLE A recent study by specialist business insurer Hiscox shows that over 20 per cent of new small businesses are currently being started by redundancy victims. Interestingly, the more redundancy victims get involved in a new venture, the more their confidence rises. Questioned at the start of a project, only 22 per cent thought they had a ‘million dollar idea’, but that figure rose to over 60 per cent once the business had been set up.

“Our research shows entrepreneurs are starting businesses to take control of their future, whether they have experienced redundancy or just want to pursue their dreams,” says Hiscox’s Alan Thomas.

For instance, Sue Acton worked for a high street bank for 11 years when she was suddenly made redundant and realised she had finally got the chance to start the business she had been dreaming of - a fairtrade soap company.

Sue says: “I thought: ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’. I could lose my house. But I could cope with renting again and looking for another job. I realised that, yes, I could do it.

And which is worse - getting to 40 and regretting it or giving it a try and failing?”

So Bubble and Balm was born. In its first year the company won several awards and became the first 100 per cent fairtrade bodycare business in the UK. Since then, business has boomed.

“Working for yourself, you’ve got to trust your own judgement all the time and you have to work really hard building up a network of people,” Sue says. “On the other hand, you don’t have all the politics of the corporate world and there’s something really satisfying in saying that I run my own business and in creating a product.”

She says the first time she saw Bubble and Balm soaps on the shelves in Waitrose she burst into tears of joy. “It’s hard to describe what a lovely feeling it is,” Sue explains.

“I thought: ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’. I could lose my house. But I could cope with renting again and looking for another job. I realised that, yes, I could do it.”

Sue Acton

Lynda Sims managing director Placing People 1st Lynda was born in the UK and has a history of turning underperforming businesses into highly successful organisations with her entrepreneurial flair.

She invested in her first UK business at the age of 23 and moved to Jersey in 2000. After spotting a gap in the market for a quality recruitment agency she launched 1st Recruitment in Jersey in 2002 and after much success and client demand for the same high quality service in Guernsey she opened Placing People 1st in Guernsey in

2005. In 2007 1st Recruitment in Sydney was born and the company is now a global brand.

Lynda has been recognised by the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC) UK, as UK Business Manager of the Year 2003 and she was also recognised in the Jersey Young Manager of the Year in 2002. She loves her work and maintains long-term relationships with both clients and candidates.

GUERNSEY

JERSEY

SINGAPORE

‘Everywhere I went I was called a candidate, just another finance worker who ticks a box.

Thankfully this recruitment agency thinks outside the box and my career is now flying because they went that extra mile to help’

Placing you 1st Identifying your talent and understanding your technical skills is what we do best. At Placing People 1st we have the breadth of knowledge and experience to find you the position that maximises your talents, whether that’s here, across the water or as far afield as Australia and Singapore.

Senior Investment Portfolio Manager Working with both discretionary and advisory clients you will be responsible for generating investment ideas in line with clients objectives whilst also promoting the business’s various products and services. Good client relationship management skills essential.

Business & Commercial Support Manager (Corporate Banking) Responsible for providing business support with regards to a varied portfolio of commercial/ corporate clients. Must have a good understanding of facility/commercial documentation as well as credit stewardship. Strong customer service/ interpersonal skills essential.

Portfolio Managers (Both trainee & experienced) Our client is seeking exceptional candidates to join their busy investment department where they will actively contribute to the investment process whilst also undertaking business development.

For entry level applicants, outstanding GCSE/ALevel results are essential.

Administrator (Payroll Services) Responsible for day-to-day payroll administration including issuance of written contracts to employees. Applicants will possess basic double entry skills and ideally be familiar with UK tax laws.

Must be highly organised and be adept at using MS Excel.

Financial Services Manager Required to manage client relationships to an exemplary standard whilst also identifying the investment and protection needs of prospective/ existing clients. Must hold the CII /CISI level 4 or equivalent and be willing to work towards local qualifications.

Financial Operations Manager (Wealth Management Solutions) Responsible and varied role involving all aspects of cash management. Role will also entail management of resources, budgets and SLAs. Applicants will have previous team management experience and be adept with various IT/Systems software.

Senior Fund Administrator Reporting to the senior management and working closely with fund accountants and fund directors you will deal with all aspects of private equity and infrastructure fund administration including the setting up of new funds.

Company Secretary Highly organised individual sought to ensure all statutory obligations of group entities are completed in a timely/efficient manner. Applicants will also produce board packs, attend board meetings and produce related minutes. ICSA qualification desirable.

Advisory Assistant Manager (Audit) Exciting opportunity to work on a wide range of management consultancy engagements with the opportunity to specialise. Applicants will be familiar with transaction and restructuring as well as risk management.Must hold an accounting qualification with some related experience.

For further information about these positions please call Sarah Porter on 736444

Call us today on 736444 1st Floor, 24 Commercial Arcade St Peter Port, Guernsey GY1 1JX

email: jobs@placingpeople1st.co.uk

www.placingpeople1st.co.uk

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

Open 8.30am - 6.00pm

including weekends to work around you We’re also happy to meet at a location that suits you

Now that’s a 1st

Temp and Contract Roles Call Jo or email your CV to: jo@placingpeople1st.co.uk Accountant (2-3 months) Will be qualified/part qualified with solid commercial accounting experience.

Graduate Opportunity (7 months) CV enhancing opportunity for a bright graduate to gain some good work experience.

Operations Analyst (9 months) Will ideally have payments/settlements experience within a funds environment.

Static Data Clerk (ongoing) Responsible for data base management.

Accuracy/attention to detail is a prerequisite.

Administrator (2 months) Will provide support to the Co-Sec and operation teams. Related experience essential.

Legal Secretary (ongoing) Will Experienced secretary with a legal back ground, ideally 3 – 5 years experience.

Legal Secretary (ongoing) Will come from a legal background and possess 3 – 5 years related experience.

Legal matters

LETTER OF THE LAW Why mediation provides a platform that will hopefully mitigate the hurt and anger in the process of separation...

Mourant Ozannes Family Law Team

W

hen you are unable to make your marriage work, then should mediation be your first consideration to sort out the consequences of the breakdown?

Mediation particularly in family law is often held up these days to be the panacea for all ills in this area. Since 2011, in the UK for cases not involving domestic violence or child protection issues, mediation awareness sessions have been introduced. At the moment there is a practice direction, subject to lots of exceptions, requiring the parties in any family matters to take part in a mediation information and assessment meeting (either together or separate meetings if desired) however anecdotal evidence is that the exception to mediation is more the rule and thus this may change to having a greater degree of compulsion to mediate in the next few years. In this article Penny Grainge explores the pros and cons of this method of dealing with family breakdown.

Litigation surrounding marriage breakdown can be extremely acrimonious.

Acrimonious means expensive not only in terms of legal costs but also emotionally. This is often in a situation where regardless of what is thrown by the parties at each other, the arrangements for their children in terms of contact and maintenance will mean that they will need to cooperate in the future perhaps for many years.

Penny Grainge head of family law at Mourant Ozannes believes that in the right case “Mediation can help to reduce tension and misunderstandings and improve communication between you and your partner. This is especially important if you have children as you will have to co-

operate over their care and upbringing for some years to come,” said Penny.

“However” she says “for mediation to work there needs to be some measure of a willingness to resolve matters through this mechanism i.e. an element of goodwill to want to settle rather than engage in the full legal battle.”

For some parties, the perceived or actual power imbalance in the relationship leads to a fear that this will be reflected in the way mediation is facilitated which they consider less likely in the court system with advocates present. This concern can be particularly acute if mediation is proposed without legal representatives being present. Even if attempts are made at settling matters through mediation, this underlying concern can prevent settlement for fear that the same inequality in the marriage is being played out in the proposals for settlement. Sometimes one, or both of the parties, is simply too angry about the situation to contemplate mediation at any time during the process. In cases where there are allegations of domestic violence or child protection issues, it is unlikely to be suitable.

Divorce and marriage breakdown can raise very difficult problems which require legal representation to ensure that someone at their potentially most vulnerable is aware of their options and the strength of their position.

However unlike in court where the judge will impose a solution upon the parties, mediation facilitates the parties to agree the solution and therefore retain control over the outcome. It is important to remember that the mediator cannot make decisions for the parties but a good mediator can facilitate an atmosphere

Penny Grainge Head of Family Law

PENNY GRAINGE: Head of Family Law T 739309 penny.grainge@mourantozannes.com EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Initially working for Somerset County Council in childcare and education law.

Initially working for Somerset County Council in childcare and education law.

Penny moved to the 1999 and has specialised in family law in Guernsey since 2000, qualifying as an advocate in 2010.

Becky Wightman Associate

BECKY WIGHTMAN: Associate T 739316 becky.wightman@mourantozannes.com EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Following completion of her training contract with Mourant Ozannes last year, Becky began working in the Family Law Department in September 2012.

“There will always be anecdotal evidence which supports mediation because it has worked extremely successfully for couples but there will be contrary reports as well.”

where they both can explore different solutions.

It is often a party’s legal adviser who will suggest mediation and Penny explains why: “Mediation can provide long-term solutions, especially for families with children. It focuses on the future rather than the past. Couples sort things out for themselves, within the framework of the law, and the outcomes reflect what they need and want” said Penny. “It can also mean that all matters can be dealt with at the same time whereas the court system separates the different elements one from the other e.g. not dealing with contact and the children’s living arrangements at the same time as the financial division of the parties’ assets is dealt with.”

Whether mediation is successful or not, however, not only depends on the parties but to a large degree, depends on the skills of the mediator too. The mediator needs to know the law so that what the parties agree is potentially enforceable, but also

needs to be skilful and effective in working with the dynamics of each couple and their marital breakdown.

“As with all things, there are good and bad mediators, and there are also some mediators that are more appropriate for one couple and their issues than another.

One size does not fit all.”

There will always be anecdotal evidence which supports mediation because it has worked extremely successfully for couples but there will be contrary reports as well. For some mediation has been a tool to mend conflict and hurt to enable the parties to successfully move on. For others it will be another battle in an angry war that caused them additional pain and despair.

The statistics in the UK appear to show that there are high settlement rates, producing agreement in the majority of cases although whether these are cases that would have settled in any event it is impossible to know.

Mediation can and does work. It is important to remember that unlike the prescribed and often lengthy court timetable, mediation can be engaged in at anytime even at the door of the court. It can be a successful alternative to the court system when dealing with the consequence of separation or divorce however it is not the answer for all cases and some matters will need to have a court ordered outcome.

If you would like further information on mediation or any other aspect of family work, please do not hesitate to contact Mourant Ozannes family law team on 723466.

OTHER Unsung heroCONTACTS Roy Trustum

Flo Brasserie at Chales de Gaulle ranked as one of the top ten airport dining experiences in the world

The spa at the Pullman hotel at Paris airport

JESSICA ROLAND Managing Partner, Guernsey T 731455 jessica.roland@mourantozannes.com

PETER FERBRACHE Partner T 731435 peter.ferbrache@mourantozannes.com

Jessica qualified as an English solicitor before returning to Guernsey and being called to the Guernsey bar in 1999. In addition to her expertise in other fields particularly employment, she also undertakes family work primarily matters involving children including adoption.

Renowned for bringing calmness and clarity in addition to her legal expertise. Jessica is a CEDR accredited mediator and a notary public.

Peter practised in England from 1972 before returning to his Channel Island home in 1980. Peter is recognised as Guernsey’s most experienced and hardened litigator, found on one side or the other of the majority of leading Guernsey cases in the last 20 years. Peter qualified as a Barrister (England) in 1972 (currently non-practising) and an Advocate (Guernsey) in 1981. Peter is also a Notary Public.

AS RECOMMENDED BY:

“Must surely be the best advocate in Guernsey,” Legal 500.

“Has a ‘concise and calm approach and communicates effectively without over-complicating issues’,” Legal 500.

AS RECOMMENDED BY:

“One of the most intellectual and gifted lawyers around,” Chambers Europe.

“Her breadth of knowledge is huge. She can explain complex situations in a way that is easy to understand,” Chambers Europe.

Mourant Ozannes, PO Box 186, 1 Le Marchant Street, St Peter Port, Guernsey GY1 4HP T 723466 E guernsey@mourantozannes.com W www.mourantozannes.com Schiphol

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Business profile

GUERNSEY’S ESSENTIAL WORKFORCE

Guernsey’s success as an international business centre has been forged by the endeavours and expertise of those people who go that extra mile for the benefit of us all. The Essentials is a celebration of those individuals who are at the coalface of the local economy. In this latest edition we talk to Frances Watson about her work in the world of investment funds...

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THEESSENTIALS

Business profile

cesn n a r F atso W

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1 THE ESSENTIALS Guernsey’s success as an international business centre has been forged

by the endeavours and expertise of those people who go that extra mile for the benefit of us all. The Essentials is a celebration of those individuals who are at the coalface of the local economy. In this first edition we talk to Ogier’s Frances Watson about Guernsey’s success in financial services and why building strong global relationships has become second nature.

‘Over the past six years we have raised over £62,000 for charities such as Les Bourgs Hospice, Piam Brown Cancer Charity, Maison Million Appeal, Guernsey Lifeboat and the Guernsey Women’s Refuge.’

In less than 50 words please introduce yourself Frances Watson. Partner at Ogier. Moved to Guernsey and joined Ogier in 2005, swapping a job with a leading London law firm which came with a three hour daily commute for a 10 minute cycle ride into work. Married with two children and a slightly nutty border collie.

You’ve been with Ogier since 2005, what has been your single biggest challenge?

When I started at Ogier in January 2005, we had fewer than 20 people. We now have nearer 100, including 32 lawyers and our fiduciary services and support services team. As far as challenges go, we constantly have to keep on our toes to ensure Ogier is proactive in delivering a first-rate service to meet our clients’ expectations. Looking forward however AIFMD is set to shape our regulatory regime quite dramatically and will present a major challenge to Guernsey financial services firms.

Why is Guernsey such a bedrock for investment funds?

Guernsey is well known as a well-regulated jurisdiction with modern and flexible legislation and pragmatic regulation. The fact that Guernsey has such a wide range of experienced practitioners across legal,

accountancy, administration etc. who regularly share knowledge and discuss challenges and technical points of interest cements this reputation. For example, the Guernsey Commercial Bar Association of which I am chair regularly meets to exchange legal know how and recommend changes to or seek to introduce new legislation relevant to commercial law in Guernsey.

You advise companies on billion pound transactions what’s been the most intriguing?

The best part of my job is the fact that every transaction is different and there are always unusual aspects to a deal which sets each one apart from the last. This applies to both the large billion pound multi jurisdictional transactions and the smaller Guernsey specific transactions. I work with an extremely talented and dedicated group of people at Ogier, so there is huge job satisfaction when a deal closes. We also try to have fun along the way as well.

Guernsey has weathered the economic climate better than most but what challenges are we likely to fact in the next few years?

All finance centres are subject to increased scrutiny by international governments and bodies, leading to an increasingly

complex tax and regulatory environment.

Whilst I think this undoubtedly will lead to changes to the financial services industry in Guernsey, I have always been impressed by Guernsey’s ability to adapt and its reputation as a well-regulated jurisdiction. These two factors will ensure that Guernsey continues to thrive as an offshore jurisdiction.

What’s your biggest ambition?

To teach the dog to round up the children for tea. Ogier are very pro-active in the communities they serve.

What has been the most rewarding project Ogier has been involved in?

It is hard to pinpoint the most rewarding project - we aim to provide consistent and ongoing support to varying aspects of Guernsey life, including sponsorship of local sport, arts and education projects, the provision of bursaries and fund raising for deserving charities. Each year, staff in the Guernsey office nominate and vote on a charity to raise money for. Over the past six years we have raised over £62,000 for charities such as Les Bourgs Hospice, Piam Brown Cancer Charity, Maison Million Appeal, Guernsey Lifeboat and the Guernsey Women’s Refuge. Seeing the dedication and the hard work put in by our Charity Action Group is incredibly rewarding.

SMALL STEPS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE Doing anything on June 8th?

Fancy a walk?.... a 39 mile one to be precise as 8 June this year will see the 16th Itex Rotary Around the Island Walk.

The event has become a firm fixture in the Guernsey fund-raising calendar and since its inception has raised an incredible £550,000 for local charities.

Each year charitable organisations are invited to apply for funding and a number of which are selected by the walk committee. The criteria are straightforward – the charity must be local and funds must be for a particular project or specialist piece of equipment – simple!

The walk itself is certainly a challenge if you take it on in its entirety. Starting in St Peter Port at around 4.30 in the morning the route takes you south to the cliffs then around the west, north and east coasts back to town. Not advisable without some degree of training but an amazing achievement – so many walkers have said how proud they are of having completed the challenge and doing

something for some really worthwhile causes at the same time!

And those who don’t fancy their chances of completing the whole circuit can opt for either doing a section of the route, or tackling it as part of a relay team – the organisers are totally flexible – their objective is to maximise the income for the charitable fund so that they can distribute as much as possible to this year’s selected recipients.

And the blisters are truly worth it… charities that have been supported over the years have been able to finance refurbishments, buy vehicles, replace specialist therapy equipment or just have new publicity material printed.

This year’s charities represent the diverse spectrum of activities undertaken by tireless individuals within the Guernsey voluntary sector and the event organisers hope that the

sponsorship monies received will be sufficient to fully finance all the projects that they have agreed to support.

So come and join the fun on 8 June.

You can register online at www.itexwalk.gg or pick up a registration form at the Itex office in the Gibauderie. You will get to the finish line and vow to do it all again in 2014.

‘And those who don’t fancy their chances of completing the whole circuit can opt for either doing a section of the route, or tackling it as part of a relay team’

‘And the blisters are truly worth it… charities that have been supported over the years have been able to finance refurbishments, buy vehicles, replace specialist therapy equipment or just have new publicity material printed’

IN 2013 the Itex Walk will support Guernsey Voluntary Service – to purchase a new vehicle for its invaluable meals on wheels delivery service Friends of the Priaulx Library – to purchase special display and storage equipment for the library’s valuable collection Friends of St Martin’s Day Service – to purchase specialist sensory equipment for some of their clients GSPCA – to purchase a new van and equipment for its animal rescue service Guernsey Ambulance and Rescue Service - to purchase a specialised hydraulic Trolley Stretcher for use by its paramedic team Every Child Our Future – to provide training for teaching assistants to delivery numeracy programme

Some interesting numbers from 2012….

38 organisations supported the Itex-Rotary walk – sponsoring checkpoints, providing water food and pairs of hands

92 volunteers on the day distribute food water and plasters, man checkpoints cook breakfast, move bags around the island and….

700 sausages are cooked and distributed at the breakfast BBQ

Special achievements in 2012 Youngest walker – Julia Quevatre (aged 14).

Veteran Walker – Doug Masters (aged 86).

Generali Award for special endeavour – Ross Haines for completing the challenge for 10 successive years!!

1200 bananas are eaten by walkers

John Mann Memorial Award for the walker who raised the most sponsorship amount – Tony Link who raised £758.52.

3,951 steps are ascended/descended on the south coast cliff path

To register for the Itex Walk please visit www.itexwalk.gg

£51,745 was raised This year, the walk will support six Guernsey charities:

Women are now holding down many key roles in a wide variety of companies and organisations – and St John Ambulance & Rescue Service has recently appointed a woman as assistant chief officer. A ‘first’ for the service, and one which shows how it is keen to move forward and promote the best people to give Guernsey the best emergency and community health care service possible. The Rock caught up with Ali Marquis six months into her new appointment to find out more.

Ali joined the St John Ambulance & Rescue Service in 2006 and became its first female senior manager - a ground breaking senior appointment for a woman. In 2012 she was appointed assistant chief officer and heads up the organisational side of the ambulance service alongside her co-assistant chief officer Andy Walford.

“Andy and myself have joint responsibility for the Ambulance Service and my other main functions are to head up the community, support and fund raising activities required to keep the service operational.

I first joined St John in an HR management role but I am delighted with the way my career has progressed and I feel I have found my dream job.”

Ali is keen to get the message across that the Ambulance Service has to rely entirely upon local donations for the services provided by the in-shore rescue boats, the hyperbaric recompression chamber and cliff rescue teams. “We also use donations to fund the St John Health Care Shop which operates out of the Rohais HQ. It provides thousands of vital products which are used to care for people in their homes. But it is getting harder to raise funds in these challenging times and we are in the process of launching Friends of St John, with Lynda Walker as patron, to give a much needed boost to our fund raising activities.

None of the rescue or community services get a States subsidy so we are looking at a shortfall of around £126,000 and this money has to be raised, every year.

It is too easy to simply take for granted the high level of emergency care we have on the island, and Ali is keen to point out some of the new initiatives that are being actioned to keep those standards so high.

“We have recently launched a new fast response scheme whereby specially trained members of the public can be called upon to get to an accident scene and give emergency care until the ambulance teams arrive. They are called Community First Responders (CFR) – a highly trained squad of personnel who have to undertake 30 hours of training and examinations.”

Ali is also very hands on when it comes to the operational side of the service.

“Our operators are the first to deal with any emergency and they have to be able to make the call on whether or not an ambulance or a rapid response car with a paramedic is needed. Many calls involve life threatening situations and our personnel in the control room are trained to ask the right questions to determine this. But at times we have to despatch our CFRs who are trained to carry out resuscitation or use automated defibrillators.

Often we are able to simply send an ambulance car with a trained member of the team who is able to treat the patient in their home.”

Ali says that she feels her years spent working in HR have held her in good stead in her new role.

“This role demands good communication skills and I think my years spent in HR at Health and Social Services

has helped me tremendously. I enjoyed working with the medical profession and it has stood me in good stead for this new role which involves dealing with a wide variety of people.

The team here is a fantastic one, we have a good chief and we all know exactly where we are headed – our strategy is clear and the staff is a committed one and a very professional one. We are also fortunate to have an additional team of 70 volunteers who give their time to St John. But we do rely heavily on public donations as we do have to balance the books – and at times it can be a difficult balance to achieve.

Our service is an amazing one, delivered by a committed and professional body of people who really enjoy their job and do it over and above what is required of them.

I am proud to be a part of it all and look forward to helping the service develop in the future.”

It is a time of change at Guernsey’s ambulance and rescue service.

Even one of the most highly regarded organisations in the Channel Islands is affected by the passing of the years and the world economic climate.

Among these changes is the appointment of Ali Marquis as St John Ambulance & Rescue Service first female assistant chief officer and the formation of a new commandery of St John in the Bailiwick of Guernsey.

St John Ambulance & Rescue Service is a subsidiary charitable company of the St John commandery and provides more than just an ambulance service.

While the commandery remains as part

of the world-wide community of St John, Guernsey now has operational and financial autonomy in developing its future strategy and direction. This helps to secure the long-term future of St John in the Bailiwick by placing local assets under its control and, with the generous support of local people, they can develop other services to the community other than the road ambulance.

Chief Officer Jon Beausire believes that ‘care’ is the centre of everything the organisation stands for: “We apply this word to everything we do, it is in our mission statement, our value and our benchmark and we believe it is easily understood by everyone from our receptionist on the front desk, the paramedic on the road, the financial administrator in the office and the assistant in our Health Care Shop. More importantly it is understood and expected by the people of the Bailiwick who use our services.”

From its earliest days, The St John Ambulance & Rescue Service has provided the island’s cliff rescue team and inshore rescue service which operates around Guernsey’s coastline and the adjacent islands on call 24 hours a day. The Flying Christine III is a 45-foot marine ambulance, launched in 1994, one of the few vessels in the world designed specifically to provide medical aid at sea.

The St John Hyperbaric Recompression Centre is located at their headquarters in the Rohais.

This dedicated centre houses a large recompression chamber, a compressor room and an adjoining treatment and recovery room. It is maintained primarily to treat divers with the “bends” but is also available to provide hyperbaric treatment in acute medical conditions such as carbon monoxide poisoning.

Schiphol

THE FIRST LADY

The Ikea lounge at Charles de Gaulle

St John Ambulance & Rescue Service has recently appointed Ali Marquis as Assistant Chief Officer

Susan Murray

PERFECT

COMIC

TIMING Nick Creed and Andy Fothergill started sharing an office space in 2005 – and while they work in separate areas of the media - Nick is a PR and events professional and Andy runs his own marketing company - both share a love of comedy in general, particularly of the stand-up variety. Two years later the pair launched a local Comedy Festival - the Sure Festival of Comedy

The ‘hot tickets’ this year will be for rising TV star Hal Cruttenden, veteran comedian Arthur Smith and comedy magician Ali Cook.

N

ow in its 7th successful year, the Sure Festival of Comedy is going to be better than ever before. Nick and Andy tell us that in a few weeks’ time the island will enjoy one of the best comedy line ups to date and in their own comic style share a few thoughts on what Guernsey audiences can expect.

“We were approached to come up with a local food event but somehow we came up with a concept for a comedy festival which year by year has grown to become nine days of the best fun you can have,” explains Nick.

The festival is shared around various local venues – Beau Sejour, La Grande Mare – and for the first time The Duke of Richmond but The Johnson Suite at Les Rocquettes Hotel has become HQ to the core event.

“Les Rocquettes is about as good a venue as you can get,” says Nick. “Even the top UK comedians who come here tell us that they love it – the room is ideal. The ambiance, the acoustics, the staging and bar area are all perfect for a comedy club atmosphere and the comedians and the audiences love it there.”

Andy explains that prior to the first ever comedy club week, he and Nick went off to the UK to see how places like Comedy Store and Jongleurs operate.

“We were aware it had not been done in Guernsey before and we wanted to get it right – and see what sort of comedians we felt would work for our local audiences.

The Johnson Suite at Les Roquettes turned out to be the best place for the festival with a 150 seat capacity for the popular Stand Up Guernsey series during the festival.”

Nick says that what he and co festival director Andy were keen to do was to ensure that there was a good mix of the very best in established big name comedians and the new up and coming talent.

Andy and Nick are hopeful that this year’s event will be the best ever.

“We were lucky that three years ago Sure agreed to become the sponsors of the comedy festival, and it’s been a great association which has helped us develop what has become a great event for the Guernsey entertainment calendar. But we organise this because we enjoy having a laugh, it’s that simple,” says Andy. ”The Sure Festival of Comedy continues to punch above its weight in an on-going quest to put a smile on the face of Guernsey.

The ‘hot tickets’ this year will be for rising TV star Hal Cruttenden, veteran comedian Arthur Smith and comedy magician Ali Cook.

There is something to appeal to all tastes including a family show, comedy cinema and an open mic night. As in previous festivals there will be the chance to see comedians try out their solo shows before they go onto the Edinburgh Fringe and nationwide tours later in the year.”

Andy explains that he and Nick have enjoyed putting together the comedy line-up.

“We have had great fun choosing this year’s acts and we are sure that there will be something for everyone. We are sticking to our successful formula of presenting quality performances in small to medium sized venues and it’s a great opportunity for people in Guernsey to see some well-known comedians and stars of the future right on their doorstep.”

Hal Cruttenden will appear in the festival’s opening night on Friday 31st May in a new venue The Duke of Richmond Hotel. This year alone Hal has been all over our TV screens including appearances on ‘Live at the Apollo’, ‘John Bishop’s Only Joking’ and ‘Let’s Dance for Comic Relief’. Joining him on the bill is Bob Mills of Radio 5’s Fighting Talk and The Fast Show’s Simon Day famous for such characters as Competitive Dad, Billy Bleach and Tommy Cockles.

On Saturday 1st June, Susan Murray, Carly Smallman and Abi Roberts will star in the festival’s first all-female stand-up show,

‘Here Come the Girls’.

Says Nick: We saw Abi performing in the UK and somehow ended up with an all-girl comedy line-up which is another first for Guernsey.”

Another first for the festival is a comedy magical mystery show at Beau Sejour Theatre starring pseudo psychic spirit medium Ian D Montfort and magician Ali Cook who was the only magician to fool Penn and Teller on their ITV show.

The festival concludes with a run of standup shows in Guernsey’s only comedy club at Les Rocquettes Hotel. MC Geoff Whiting will introduce Australian Damian Clarke, international word clown Gordon Southern and the star of last year’s Rufus Hound show, Jonny Awsum who has been re-booked following overwhelming public support.

Marketing and PR Manager for Sure Jess Bisson said they were looking forward to their continued partnership with the festival as headline sponsors: “There’s always a great buzz around the Sure Festival of Comedy and we are pleased to be a part of it. People associate the festival with having a good time and that has a really positive impact for us as sponsors.

The festival also gives us a chance to interact with islanders whether through social media or hands-on involvement with the community based events.”

Nick and Andy say they are now counting down to the festival.

“We do everything from booking the acts and organising the travel and itineraries, to marketing and creating all the promotional material. For us the festival will involve a lot of runs to the airports to pick up our comedians, meet old friends and make a lot of new ones then laugh solidly for nine days!”

Details of all the events are available on the new website www.happyci.com where comedy fans can sign up to receive the latest festival news and buy tickets.

Jonny Awsum

Hal Cruttenden

Ali Cook Andy Fothergill and Nick Creed

IanDMontford

Arthur Smith

REALLY? Crunchie is a well-loved and long established chocolate bar with a honeycombe toffee sugar centre. It was first originally launched by J. S. Fry & Sons in 1929 and is now part of the Cadbury Chocolate Empire..

During manufacturing of the Crunchie bar, the honeycomb toffee is produced in large slabs and until recent years the bars were cut with blades – but this caused so much wastage a new procedure was devised using a highly focused jet of oil. The use of oil results in uniform sharp-edged portions.

The honeycomb toffee is then covered with chocolate, cooled, and packaged.[ Until September 2010 Crunchie was produced in Somerset but production has now transferred to Cadbury’s new plant in Skarbimierz, Poland.

In the late 1900s (1960s) there were a range of limited edition Crunchies on sale in the UK. These included a lemonade bar and a Tango Orange bar, in which the chocolate contained the different flavourings. A champagne-flavoured bar was launched for New Year’s Eve 1999. In South Africa, Cadbury sold a white chocolate version in a blue wrapper until recently.

In 2003, a short-lived bourbon Crunchie was launched in test markets across the Nashville, TN area in partnership with 7-Eleven. The bourbon Crunchie was not well received because of a boycott initiated by western factions of the Southern Baptist Coalition and production was subsequently discontinued.

Food facts

Ketchup was created for use as a drug, not as a condiment.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Did you know that the average male is full of useful information. However, he tends to keep most of it well hidden. Therefore, here’s some facts we prepared earlier.

Facts that melt on the tongue

May the force be with you!

Following an internet campaign which started back in 2001 Jedi is now a recognised religeon worldwide and in 2011 was rated the third most popular religeon next to Christianity and Bhudism.

In the 2011 Census in Australia, the numbers listing their faith as Jedi had picked up to 65,000.

In Canada, 21,000 Canadians put down their religion as Jedi Knight.

Mastermind chef

A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate!

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

Coca-cola was originally green.

The world’s oldest piece of chewing gums is 9000 years old.

They have square watermelons in Japan. They stack better.

Honey is the only food that does not spoil.

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously Broccoli is a vegetable with a nervous system. Primitive though it may be, it CAN feel pain.

Sports

From a complete stop a human is capable of outrunning a Formula 1 race car for about 30 feet.

The first ever baseball caps were made of straw.

Prior to the year 1900 prize fights lasted up to 100 rounds.

Kite flying is a national sport in Thailand.

Pittsburgh is the only city in the world where all major sports teams have the same team colours – black and gold.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.

If you have a large family eager to explore Castle Cornet then pop down to the harbour just after four. You will find a bargain family outing with a difference! It is generally known that a proper tour around this impressive medieval castle would take you at least three hours. In fact it is claimed you could find things to occupy you and yours for a whole day. But staff have come up with a cost cutting way to draw you in. After four you are invited to do a whistle stop tour and ‘pop in for just a pound.’

2013 SUMMER EVENTS

FIVE DAYS OF FLAMBÉ

WEEKEND BBQ ON THE TERRACE

Wednesday – Sunday EVERY WEEK

12pm to 4pm – Saturdays & Sundays

For live entertainment while you eat, join us for flambé specials throughout the week! Watch the team as they prepare some favourite flambé dishes. Available Wednesday to Sunday evenings and Sunday lunch in The Brasserie, with live music from resident pianist Paul Tongs.

Relax on The Terrace this summer and enjoy our delicious dishes straight from the BBQ grill. Available Saturday and Sunday in the Leopard Bar and Restaurant, and on the Terrace (weather permitting).

FATHER’S DAY AFTERNOON TEA

LIBERATION DAY

Sunday 16th June

Thursday 9th May

Try our special Father’s Day Afternoon Tea, which includes mini cheeseburger, brie parcel, savoury scones, sticky toffee pudding and brandy chocolate truffle.

Enjoy it with a bottle of ale or single malt. £17.50 per person or £21.75 with a bottle of ale or a single malt

Dishes include lamb kofta, tiger prawn skewers, grilled half chicken and Angus beef burgers.

JAZZ SUPPER CLUB

FATHER’S DAY LUNCH

Need the chance to put your feet up at lunchtime, without leaving the festivities in town?

Friday 24th of May

Sunday 16th June

The Duke of Richmond Hotel has long been synonymous with live music.

Want the perfect place to enjoy dinner while watching the fireworks display?

Three-course dinner and entertainment, only £25.00 per person

Try our delicious Guernsey themed three-course meal from £25.00 per person

For a fun day out for the family, bring your father to enjoy our Father’s Day Lunch at The Duke of Richmond Hotel.

Three-course lunch in the Leopard Bar and Restaurant or on The Terrace.

Dinner served from 7.00pm Live music: 8.00pm –11.00pm

St Ann’s Place, St Peter Port, Guernsey GY1 2NU t: 724921, e: fandb@theoghhotel.com www.theoghhotel.com

Only £26.00 per person Children under 12 half price

Cambridge Park, St Peter Port, Guernsey GY1 1UY t: 726221, e: dlegoupil@dukeofrichmond.com www.dukeofrichmond.com

WWW.REDCARNATION.COM

Superfast Broadband Just ÂŁ34.99 per month with FREE Installation and FREE router.*

See instore or visit www.surecw.com

*Subject to a 24 month contract. The service can only be provided to properties within 2Km of an exchange or MSAN. Download speeds will range from 9Mb/s to 40Mb/s and upload speeds from 1Mb/s to 2Mb/s dependant on your line length. To check your line length and for full Terms & Conditions go to www.surecw.com.

The Rock 200x220 Sure BBD Jan22nd.indd 1

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