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high-pitched cry sent shivers down my spine. Doctors said they suspected meningitis. He was given antibiotics and steroids and seemed to perk up, flashing me his trademark grin. Leaving Khyle with Lewin the next day, I went home to spend time with Avayah. She was desperate to see her brother. ‘When he’s better,’ I promised. Back at the hospital the next day, I was pleased to hear Lewin had slept most of the night. But now he was restless, wouldn’t stop crying. As I held him, he suddenly flung his
I screamed. ‘He’s had a cardiac arrest,’ said a nurse, leading me out of the room. Minutes later, Khyle was standing beside me, breathless and panic-stricken. Finally, a doctor came out and explained that Lewin had had another cardiac arrest. Our gorgeous ‘He’s very poorly,’ baby boy he said. Sobbing, me and Khyle walked in. arms up in the air. His Lewin had his eyes closed. whole body went stiff. His little body was covered He looked at me, his face in wires. crumpled in confusion. ‘He’s squeezing it,’ Khyle Then his eyes closed said, hopeful, as he held and he fell silent. Lewin’s tiny hand. ‘Lewin?’ I cried. But then Lewin’s body A nurse ran in, looked at went tense. his limp body We were and hit the pushed aside emergency and watched button. on helplessly as Suddenly, doctors tried to doctors were resuscitate him. rushing down Then I heard the corridor. the words I’d Someone been dreading. grabbed my ‘Do we all phone and called Khyle. agree to stop?’ said a doctor. Doctors took Lewin from ‘Please, no!’ I begged. me and put him on the bed. But there was nothing One pressed down on more they could do. his chest, while another My baby boy, just three gave him mouth-to-mouth. months old, had died. ‘What’s happening?’ The next hours went
There was nothing more the doctors could do
by in a blur. We made prints of Lewin’s feet and hands with clay. Holding him in my arms, I wept. Looking around the hospital room, I saw his changing bag and car seat. ‘What do we do with these now?’ I choked. That night, we went home. Without Lewin. ‘He got really poorly, now he’s in heaven,’ I tried to explain to Avayah. ‘Lewin’s in heaven,’ she repeated. Heartbreaking. In February 2019, the hospital called to confirm that Lewin had contracted a virus that led to him developing a rare condition called viral myocarditis, which had left his little heart inflamed. On what would have been our little boy’s first birthday, in August 2019, we held a fundraiser for the charity Cardiac Risk in the Young (CRY). Thanks to the generosity of friends and local businesses, we’ve raised more than £13,000. Not a day goes by when we don’t think of Lewin. We miss our happy boy desperately. He was the missing piece of the puzzle in our family, and he always will be.
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WORDS: FRANCES LEATE, RIA NEWMAN
Avayah adored her newborn brother
