was Mum shot dead by police? His lover sent me sexts! What she said was shocking

THE MOMENT I KNEW

Crazy

I knew I had trust issues

Unlocking my phone, I saw a string of ‘Happy birthday’ messages appear on screen. Some from family, others from friends who’d tagged me in cringeworthy photos. It was April 2016, my 30th birthday.

Among the messages was one from Gary, 31.

A friend of a friend, he’d added me on Facebook a few days before.

‘I was in the year above you at school,’ he reminded me now.

I didn’t remember him, but he looked handsome, had a kind face, so I was happy to chat.

He asked me what I was up to, if I was doing anything nice to celebrate.

Gradually, texting turned into calling and then into video chatting.

We could talk about everything and had no awkward silences.

I’d get excited whenever his name flashed up on my screen.

Then, just a few weeks after that initial message, we met up for the first time

in l ove

Was I losing it or was my fella lying? Claire Lowe, 33, Chesterfield

Suddenly, I got a stream of messages I’d make snippy remarks about his texting and very quickly became an item.

For a while, things were good between us.

Only, Gary was always on his phone.

‘Who are you texting now?’ I moaned as we ate dinner. ‘It’s just Sarah,’ he explained.

Sarah was someone he’d known for years. I shouldn’t be jealousÉ

Only, I felt like Gary was constantly texting Sarah.

I felt suspicious, insecure. Eventually, after a few months of dating, Gary snapped.

‘If you don’t start trusting me, you’re going to lose me,’ he warned, annoyed, when I questioned him yet again.

My heart thumped hard in my chest.

By now, I loved Gary more than anything. Couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

I apologised, begged him for forgiveness.

I’d had bad relationships in the past, knew I had trust issues.

I didn’t want my past

to damage my future with Gary, so I tried to tell myself I was imagining these things. Only, a few months later, things were no better. I’d make snippy remarks about Gary’s constant texting, ask him questions all the time, relentlessly. Then, one day, he had a suggestion.

‘Why don’t you see a counsellor?’ he said. ‘I’m not crazy!’ I frowned.

But Gary said he was just looking out for me, had my best interests at heart. So, I agreed to make an appointment to see my doctor.

As soon as I told Gary, he was thrilled.

‘This is going to be so good for you,’ he smiled.

Then he reminded me that he was away the following week with his family and friends.

Sarah would be there… ‘I’ll be staying at my dad’s,’ Gary reassured.

Before he left, we hugged goodbye. ‘I love you, and I only want to be with you,’ he smiled. Any worries I had faded away. But we barely spoke that week. In fact I only called him once, not wanting to bother him, and even then only when I’d seen something on telly we’d

Surely I had no reason to doubt Gary...

Then she forwarded me images of him half-naked agreed to watch together.

He chatted away with me for a few minutes.

Even said ‘I love you’ as we hung up.

But still, that nagging doubt kept coming back.

I’m just being paranoid again, I reasoned.

Later that week, my therapist gave me some coping mechanisms and I left feeling confident.

As soon as Gary came round, I talked him through my session.

‘I feel so much better,’ I grinned, giving him a cuddle.

Only, as Gary looked through the leaflets my counsellor had given me, I heard my phone ping, over and over.

A string of Facebook messages, one after

the other.

My heart was in my mouth when I saw who they were from. Sarah. She’d sent me screen shots of messages from Gary to her. I can’t wait to be with you, one said. Then she forwarded me images of him half-naked that he’d obviously sent to her.

After you called the other night, we slept

I went for counselling ‘I MADE A MISTAKE’ Gary says, ‘We had a rocky relationship, most of it was my fault, not all of it. I apologised a million times to Claire and tried to assure her things would be different.

‘It was difficult for her, and I don’t condone my actions at all, but things happen in life. I’ve spoken to Claire about it a million times.

‘Breaking up was the best thing for us. It’s never nice breaking up with someone, it’s just relationships and life. ‘I made a mistake and, unfortunately, I hurt someone I loved. Do I wish I could take it back? Yes, but it is what it is.

‘I’ve apologised many times.’ together, Sarah wrote. My stomach churned. Turning to Gary, swallowing back a lump forming in my throat, I laughed.

‘Are you kidding me?’ I choked.

‘So I guess she told you then,’ he sighed.

Although devastated, in a weird way I also felt relieved.

I hadn’t been going crazy, after all. I’d been right all along.

Gary was a cheating rat! ‘How long has this been going on?’ I boomed.

‘What do you want me to say?’ Gary mumbled.

‘The truth,’ I spat. ‘Why have you done this to me?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he said. Pathetic. ‘Do you love her?’ I asked.

‘No. She’s only doing this because I told her it’s you I want to be with, not her,’ he grovelled.

It was the moment I knew – I couldn’t trust a single word Gary said. Grabbing his phone, I rang Sarah myself.

‘How long has it been going on?’ I said when she picked up.

‘Weeks,’ she admitted. I was shaking so much, I felt sick.

I wanted to cry but I couldn’t.

‘He stayed at my house on Wednesday night and we slept together,’ she said. ‘He told me all about your counselling and how annoying it was when you got paranoid.’

Afterwards, I felt completely drained.

Gary had cheated on me, lied to my face repeatedly. He’d manipulated me and I’d fallen for it.

I’d even doubted my sanity because of him! Unbelievable. As I sat there, sobbing, Gary tried to comfort me.

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t want her,’ he begged. After a shortlived break-up, I took him back –and for two more years, we limped along.

But if I had trust issues before, now they were out of control.

I realised I’d never believe a single word he said again. So in June 2019, I officially ended things for good.

Now I’ve blocked Gary on all forms of social media.

I have a new number and email address.

Gary made me think that I was crazy.

But the only crazy thing about me was that I ever believed a single word that came out of his mouth.