Book Club Corner What Books People Are Reading

As I prep for Thanksgiving, I can’t help but think about last year when my only worries were completing the 5k Turkey Trot without keeling over and making sure my stuffing wasn’t too dry. Truly a simpler time. Like everything else this year, I am not planning anything and going with the flow, because who knows what next week will look like let alone the end of the month. If 2020 has taught us anything though, it is to take a step back and appreciate the big and small things now more than ever. I vividly remember when we were deep into quarantine, we took a walk and I looked up at our spectacular sky, feeling the warm sunshine bathe me in an instant of peace. It was such a small moment, but one that I might have overlooked preCOVID-19. I am so grateful for our amazing local restaurants, that have endured every obstacle with creativity and grace. We went to Little Frenchie for our first date night when things were able to initially open up, and we were seated in front of the bank. We had a bottle of wine and you know big mama had “le burger.” It was glorious and I enjoyed every last second, even when my husband said, “Oh, look a bunny!” and pointed to the median down the way and I turn and see a rat cruising down Orange. Normally I would have fainted, but it was downright charming after being locked up for so long! I am especially thankful for our community. Neighbors looking out for each other, dropping off toilet paper when it was scarce. The support of our members at Coronado Fitness Club continuing their memberships and sending words of encouragement when it felt like the walls were crumbling all around us. It brings me to tears every time I think about it. Now I ask you all to wrap your arms around a local family who is facing an uphill battle. I met Heather Patino when our girls were in dance class together at Coronado Academy of Dance. I have been lucky enough to do several photoshoots with her beautiful family and became friends with the Patinos along the way. Just when I thought this year was done throwing curve balls, I saw the news that Heather’s husband Chris had been diagnosed with cancer. Let’s rally around this family that is deeply loved in Coronado and beyond. We are cheering you on, Chris, as you fight and whoop this thing! (You can support the Patino family during this difficult time here https://www.gofundme.com/f/ patinostrong).

Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

I am Heather Patino and I am married to Chris Patino and we have three children, Cynnie, Rocco, and Baby Del. I moved a lot growing up being part of a Navy family, but we always came back here. I went to Graham, Central, graduated from Sacred Heart and Coronado High School. Coronado is my hometown. Chris grew up in Mission Viejo. We met at UC Santa Barbara but started dating a few years after we graduated. We lived in New Orleans and New York City and then after having our second child, decided to move back to California to be close to our family. The move opened up new opportunities me, to stay home with the kids while they were little, and Chris to start his own boutique marketing agency for the wine and spirits industry and open a beautiful cocktail bar as a partner in Raised by Wolves up in UTC. In our 18 years together we have had more than our fair share of defining moments that have tested and strengthened us. We have been through storms of the century with Hurricanes Katrina, Wilma, and Sandy. We’ve held each other through losses of loved ones. We held hands as we brought our beautiful babies into the world. Together we are raising three very distinctly unique personalities. And, we can’t forget about that global pandemic. But, now we are facing our biggest hurdle yet. This summer, on his birthday, Chris was diagnosed with cancer. He has a very rare, aggressive form of pancreatic cancer, called Mixed-Acinar-Neuroendocrine Carcinoma. The doctors say there are less than 1 in 2 million cases and only 54 published documented cases in the world. To say this news was devastating to our family is an understatement. He is a fighter and through his chemo, surgeries, and hospitalizations, I am in awe of his strength, his fortitude, and his ability to still make me laugh.

Describe motherhood in 3 words:

Love, joy, tired.

What is a big mom fail that sticks out to you?

As moms, I think we have these expectations about how much fun or relaxing it will be when we plan an activity or take the kids out, but in reality, that just isn’t always the case. Due to both Chris and my mom’s health conditions, our family has to be super cautious with COVID-19. We avoid public places, we play outside our home, we go for walks, and bike rides, but even that can be tricky. Since there is such a divide on the issue, it seems that many people that choose not to wear masks are also not concerned about social distancing. I feel I need to take on the onus to move myself and my kids out of the way when people approach. When walking, I cross the street if I see kids playing or people walking down the sidewalk, and in front of our house we tell the kids to move up onto the porch or into the driveway as people pass. However, even in trying my best to wrangle all three out of the way, there are some people that will walk just that much closer or seemingly come faster towards us. This stresses me out because if we catch something and bring it home, the consequences could be devastating. We hadn’t gone to the beach all summer. Then, my husband was hospitalized in the ICU, and it was midday, midweek in September. I thought, okay, it won’t be busy, this will be a nice distraction from the seriousness at home. So, I take all three kids to the beach for the first time by myself. It wasn’t crowded at all but my five year old beelines toward any person within 100 feet, stationary or not, like a moth to the flame. My seven year old would get so engrossed in whatever she was doing that she would not move out of the way of people that were walking or running past her. So, here I am yelling over the noise of the beach at them to move away from the people like a crazy woman. Then, I would have to run after the kids to get their attention, and of course the baby would then go running straight into the ocean with no fear. My zone defense was at its worst. The people sitting on their blankets or passing by would tell

me “It’s okay, we don’t mind,” super casually, while my entire body tensed with anxiety, and inside my head I was screaming, “But, it’s not okay!” This seemingly fun, safe, simple activity that we have always enjoyed was anything but that day. My emotions and overconfidence to handle it on my own got the best of me. We went back a week or so later with my mom this time, and that day was the fun, joyful distraction I was hoping to find.

What are your favorite things about raising kids in Coronado?

I love being part of the Coronado community and being able to raise our children here. I cannot even begin to express our gratitude for this community. They have wrapped their arms around us with support during this time. The ladies at the Coronado Junior Woman’s Club have done so much to raise our spirits and put smiles on our faces. I love our school communities! Graham is such a gem and getting to send my kids to my old preschool is so special. The teachers there in the words of my son are “perfection.” Village Elementary has also been a huge blessing. Being a former teacher myself, I know how lucky we are to have a handson principal in Dr. Bergener, who truly wants the best for our kids, the whole kid, not just the academics. She chalked our walk this summer; that doesn’t happen everywhere. The teachers at Village have my heart. This is hard and they are going above and beyond to make the connections with my kids and have such loving patience in guiding these babies through these unprecedented times. One of my daughter’s old teachers FaceTimes her to check in and give her pep talks. Those small gestures mean so much and will never be forgotten. My other favorite things I hope we can enjoy again sooner rather than later; I love all the activities available on the island, walkable playdates, and family friendly activities such as, the Public Safety Open House, Concert in the Park, and parades. We truly are fortunate to be raising our family here in Coronado.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new mom, what would it be?

This has given me new perspective and truly it is the people you love that make all the difference in the world. Make time for your family and loved ones.