Silly Jokes Anyone Can Remember

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the ﬂoorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

One Liners

My French pen friend just said ‘Le Monde’, which means the world to me.

Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids are at school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?

I owe so much money to my herb seller that he’s threatened to send round the bay leafs.